Commencement & Reunion Guide

“I Am Not the Best Anymore” Seniors reveal some unexpected lessons learned at Harvard. • by Nell Porter Brown

come in knowing everything and the seniors leave knowing nothing.” Many freshmen, he explains, arrive “thinking they are going to run the world—in a good and a bad way.” Their energy is welcome, but there probably isn’t enough recognition that “they are inexperi- enced and have a lot of growing up to do over the next four years.” Seniors, at least, have gained some humility. “They have realized the depth of their ignorance and that they now have a lifetime of learning ahead,” he reports. “So, it’s true: in the end, everyone does get smarter here.”

Academics: “Don’t compare, connect” That’s what Seress took from a s they scrambled to wrap up can help students make the most of their speech by Michael D. Smith, dean of the coursework and fine-tune their time at Harvard? Faculty of Arts and Sciences, during fresh- résumés, some members of the Laszlo Ryan Seress, a chemistry and man convocation. “Everyone sort of snort- A Class of 2014 took time to reflect physics concentrator who will start grad- ed and thought, ‘That’s silly,’ because you on their experiences during the last four uate school in the fall, says he is inspired spent your whole life comparing yourself years. What had they learned about Har- by the annual influx of “freshmen who to other people and that’s how you got to vard—and themselves? And what wisdom come in with so much optimism. It’s invig- Harvard,” he says. “But what I realized, over was gained that they will not only carry orating for the community to see all those time, is that ‘Don’t compare, connect’ is so throughout the rest of their lives, but can smiling faces.” true.” As a freshman, it seems that everyone also share with friends, younger siblings, Yet it also reminds him of a campus else at Harvard is successful at everything, he or even with the parents of future under- joke. “Why is there so much knowledge at notes, but that’s “only because nobody gets graduates? Are there some concepts that Harvard?” he asks. “Because the freshmen up on a pulpit and screams, ‘I failed!’” The

16B May - June 2014 Illustration by Peter Oumanski Reprinted from Harvard Magazine. For more information, contact Harvard Magazine, Inc. at 617-495-5746 Commencement & Reunion Guide best mathematician he knows, for example, But at the same time, he says with a high school. This was true even for Seress, was afraid to go to Expository Writing be- laugh, “Study harder than you think you who took multiple courses at nearby Ohio cause he found it daunting. “Maintain per- have to.” This is “un-fun advice,” he adds, State before graduating from high school. spective,” Seress advises. “It can be easy to but freshmen tend to coast, only to real- “Here, you will not be at the top of the fall into a funk early on because suddenly ize later that they have fallen behind. Ev- curve just by doing the minimum,” he says. half of us are in the bottom half of the class,” erything is new, and there are significant “It can never hurt you to study too much, despite working extremely hard. “Learn to distractions, he notes: “Living at home, but many people I know have regretted navigate ‘I am not the best anymore,’” he you never had people knocking on your not applying themselves as much as they urges, “and accept the fact that this takes door at 2 a.m. saying, ‘Let’s go get a pizza.’” could have.” awhile to learn.” The workload, too, is harder than it was in As a specific piece of advice with gener- al applicability, Ainara Arcelus, an applied math concentrator, recommends that all freshmen take “Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory,” a popular General Education course taught by Klein profes- sor of Chinese history Michael Puett. “He is an awesome lecturer and person,” says Arcelus, who took the course last fall and wishes she had done it earlier because it “opened her up” to Eastern philosophy “and made me question why we are all so outcome-oriented.” That perspective might have helped her put less pressure on herself to “be better and ski faster” on the women’s cross-country ski team and focus instead on learning, training, and enjoying the process.

Professors: “More personable than you had imagined” Office hours at Harvard are more formal than in high school, says Ginny Fahs, a class marshal. “They are a little awkward and con- fusing at first, but keep going, because they get better!” Professors put students in “the driver’s seat,” she explains. “Be ready with questions and comments. It took me awhile to realize that people actually prepared for office hours as they would for a class.” Get to know professors personally whenever possible, the history and litera- ture concentrator emphasizes. This can feel daunting, she allows, but push past that discomfort. Share tea or coffee in Harvard Square, or invite a professor to the semi-annual faculty dinners: great op- portunities, she says, to dress up, enjoy a Experience the new sit-down meal, and talk outside of class. Harvard Art Museums. Hearing stories of professors’ own trajec- Three extraordinary tories—building a career, making difficult museums united under personal decisions, or managing periods of one glass roof. doubt, or even failures—is illuminating, she adds. “They are much more personable Open November 16, 2014 harvardartmuseums.org than you had imagined.” “Look for mentors” among professors

16d May - June 2014 Reprinted from Harvard Magazine. For more information, contact Harvard Magazine, Inc. at 617-495-5746 Commencement & Reunion Guide and graduate students both, roommate and being a friend. social network that’s important,” he adds. Arcelus adds. The College Don’t feel pressure to be both,” “It’s the friendships, pure and simple.” can help with pairings, she says. Blockmates often Conversely, be on alert for feelings of but the relationships are best buddies—but there disconnection or isolation, especially in “work better when you is no “recipe for friend- the first year. Elizabeth “Libby” Felts is are interested in a topic ships.” “Don’t put pressure a peer adviser; she has been trained to and meet someone who on the living relationships,” reach out to fellow students who may be is older” and find a way she adds. “Just clean up the struggling with anxiety and depression, to work with them, she bathroom and public spaces or are floundering in other ways: feel- says. Upperclassmen and and do what needs to be done ing, perhaps, “that you have lost control graduate students can be im- to live well together.” of your own life, that you cannot keep mensely helpful “because they Don’t overdo the socializing fresh- up with things, as if you cannot stop are younger and often closer to your own man year, cautions Thomas Dai, even what you are doing or everything will experiences.” They can help find summer though there is a lot of pressure to “break fall apart, or that life is going on around internships, research opportunities, jobs, into what you imagine the social scene to you but you are just going through the and even travel fellowships. (Arcelus also be.” True friends will emerge naturally. “It motions.” Talk to somebody, she advises: highly recommends such fellowships, hav- was helpful for me to realize that I didn’t friends, roommates, proctors, therapists ing traveled every summer and January need to meet everyone here; that everyone at University Mental Health Services— term while at Harvard.) is doing incredible and interesting things,” or go to the confidential peer-counseling says Dai, who balances his concentra- care center, Room 13, in the basement of Social Life: Too much, too little? tion in organismic and evolutionary biol- Thayer Hall. “Or call your parents,” she Arcelus warns against “fairy-tale” ex- ogy with a passion for fashion design, and adds. “Sometimes touching base with pectations about roommate relationships. counts his blockmates among his closest home can help you feel you have a bit “There’s a difference between being a good friends. “At the end of the day, it’s not the more control.” © lizlinder.com PHOTO:

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Harvard Magazine 16E Reprinted from Harvard Magazine. For more information, contact Harvard Magazine, Inc. at 617-495-5746 Commencement & Reunion Guide

Home and family: “A sense teaching style difficult and strug- and very humbling to be embraced by my of displacement” gled to keep up. Poor advising super-fit teammates and coach. Harvard Know that relation- had convinced me that this can be a big place sometimes.” It helps to ships with home and fam- was what I should be do- have a support system with people to see ily will change, and visit ing, so I stuck with it for every day, she thinks, especially during more often—or not—to an entire year. Despite freshman and sophomore years, when stu- preserve relationships. doubling my effort, I was dents are finding a niche. And, she adds, “I avoided going home at left miserable, and with a sports help structure free time, ensuring all,” says Dai. “I regret that mathematical knowledge less of it is devoted to procrastination. now.” When he did, however, that wasn’t even applicable Exploring Harvard’s arts and science things seemed to be changing to the field I was interested in.” collections, along with the lesser-known without him, which led to “a sense It is scary, she concedes, to devi- corners of campus, such as the lower of displacement.” “It’s unclear whether go- ate from traditional paths linked to certain depths of Widener Library and tucked- ing home more would have solved that, but I rewards. But “we’re paying so much to be away gardens, also provides respite from think it would have given me more closure,” here in this resource-rich, culturally rich the daily routine. While writing her the- he says. “Understand that, in general, distance place, and it’s such a large investment of sis, Fahs worked in a different library each really matters and that ‘home’ will not just time and effort,” she says, that it’s critical day, discovering many “hidden gems,” in- stay there in a neat little box that you can for students to figure out for themselves cluding the Fung Library in the basement lift out again and experience exactly how you “what they actually want to put all that of the Knafel Building. used to feel in high school and growing up.” time and effort into.” Fahs also advises freshmen to take ad- vantage of the many stimulating events Personal Growth: “Don’t be Extracurriculars: happening on campus nearly every day. afraid to trust yourself” “Harvard can be a big place” She attends at least one a month, such as For dai, this is crucial, because four years Harvard social life, notes Fahs, most the lectures offered by the Radcliffe Insti- at Harvard will not necessarily result in a often revolves around extracurricular activi- tute for Advanced Study. “Disneyland is neat sorting of one’s life, career, relation- ties, clubs, and campus organizations such cool, but I feel like this is the most magi- ships, and passions. Personal and profes- as The Harvard Crimson, where she is a staff cal place on earth,” she concludes. “Try to sional growth is not linear, nor should it writer. “Being part of a committed group remember that, when you are pulling all- be. “I grew comfortable with contradic- of people who are all working together on nighters and are really sleep-deprived and tions,” he explains. “I can go to the lab and something they care a lot about,” she says, just feel exhausted by this place.” spend hours studying entomology and “is really important.” Felts, the peer advisor, points out the butterfly wings and then go and spend Seress sings. He began in the Harvard benefits of community or public service, time editing a fashion magazine.” He has University Choir and Harvard Glee Club, mentioning the many programs run by the faith that life will ultimately “turn into and in senior year joined the Krokodiloes. Phillips Brooks House Association. “It’s a something clean. You will have a job and That group’s historic relationship with way to get outside yourself and your own get basic things taken care of. But in the the Hasty Pudding Theatricals involved daily experiences to help others.” meantime, it is OK to be a little all over him with a new social group, and also en- Also helpful is getting off campus and the place.” abled him to travel and perform in Europe exploring Cambridge and greater Boston, Felts agrees. “The most important thing in January. “It was an amazing experience, including Harvard’s own natural reserves, I’ve learned is to define my own idea of to go to Amsterdam, Paris, and Ber- such as the Arnold Arboretum success,” she says. The earth and plan- lin,” he says—something he or Felts’s favorite place, the etary science concentrator grew up in would never have done with 3,000-acre Harvard Forest England, and likes studying earthquakes his peers without leaving (dedicated to ecological and doing fieldwork. She spent last sum- the lab occasionally and research) in Petersham, mer at the Hawaiian Volcano Observa- joining a performing- Massachusetts. A fresh- tory, and wrote a thesis on seismicity in arts organization. man seminar took her to the Kilauea volcano system, despite the “Join a sport,” recom- the property, where she absence of a Harvard professor in the vol- mends Arcelus. Varsity went snowshoeing and cano seismology field. “If I am not happy sports have their own met with scientists study- with what I am doing, then I am not going tryout policy for walk-ons; ing climate change. That to be successful,” she explains, “regard- club teams hold open tryouts, led to a summer there, work- less of whether I am getting good grades she adds. She had enjoyed cross- ing with researchers studying or ‘doing things well.’” She learned that country skiing in high school, and became the seasonal cycle of plants. “It’s nice,” she painfully in freshman year when she took a member of the women’s team. “I wasn’t says, “to get out and appreciate the living a challenging math course. “I found the very good,” she says, “but it was a lot of fun world.”

16F May - June 2014 Reprinted from Harvard Magazine. For more information, contact Harvard Magazine, Inc. at 617-495-5746