spring 2015 $2.95

BACK IN THE GAME DATING TIPS AND FUN NIGHTS OUT

WOMEN TO THE RESCUE INTERVIEWS WITH LOCAL LADIES IN LAW ENFORCEMENT

MEET DAENEL VAUGHN

-TUCKER

Cape Girardeau, MO Girardeau, Cape

Permit #699 Permit U.S. POSTAGE PAID POSTAGE U.S.

www.semissourian.com/STD PRSRT fl ourish winter 2015 | Flourish 1

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 1 1/21/15 4:11 PM contents

©2015 Southeast Missourian A Rust Communications publication 301 Broadway • PO Box 699 Cape Girardeau, MO 63702-0699

For subscription information, call 800-879-1210 or 573-335-6611 or online at www.semissourian.com/fl ourish/ subscribe

For advertising and editorial information, call 800-879-1210 FREE! or 573-335-6611 "O!# E Publisher Jon Rust

Advertising director Donna Denson

Special publications manager Lindsay Jones 22 Editor Robyn Gautschy Design features style & beauty Nadir Hussein 30 Women to the rescue 16 The Beauty Counter Account executives Ashley Aufdenberg, Shelley Frank, 32 Caring for ‘Jimmy’s Friends’ 18 A girl’s best friend Laura Hulcy, Kelle Lane, Adam 20 Treat yourself Obermiller, Glenda Mayberry, Leigh Segraves and Paul Walker on the cover Cover photography 5 Meet Daenel Vaughn-Tucker living Laura Simon 34 The dating game Photography fi Glenn Landberg, Fred Lynch and business/fi nance 36 Five fast xes for a fabulous Laura Simon bath 8 Want your resume to be read? 38 Mean machines 10 Make your dollars count 40 Paws & Effect Flourish magazine is printed four times a year. All contents © 2015 by the Southeast Missourian. All health/fi tness rights reserved. Reproduction age appropiate or use in whole or in part of the 12 The eyes have it 43 Your child’s self-esteem contents, without prior written 14 Do you need to tame your thyroid? permission of the publisher, is 44 Princess progress strictly prohibited. 46 The Five of Clubbs 47 Spotlight on Sseko Designs

2 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/fl ourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 2 1/21/15 4:11 PM www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 3

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 3 1/21/15 4:11 PM from the editor

s I worked on this month’s issue of the NICU until they’re healthy enough to go home — Flourish, one word kept popping into my read about both of these topics later on in this issue. stories and conversations: Brave. I am constantly inspired by the courage, leadership It started with cover girl Dani Vaughn- and creativity of women in our community, and I hope Tucker,A who is a member of the Sseko Brave Collective, they inspire you, too. As our Flourish slogan says, where she serves as an ambassador for a company that “thrive, prosper, shine.” And for this month, I would provides jobs and college scholarships for women in add, “Be ! erce.” Africa. You’ll also read that Dani is an Army veteran, a cancer survivor and a mom of ! ve. " en I interviewed two local women working in law enforcement. What’s braver than putting your life on the line every day to make sure others are safe? And when I asked model Sophia Baltz if she would join us for this month’s fashion shoot — and oh, by the way, we’re shooting the photos outdoors, in January — she said she would love to, and I gratefully replied, “" ank you! You are a brave woman!” I also see bravery in the princesses of Disney’s newest ! lms, and in the parents of infants staying in ~ Robyn Gautschy, editor

connect with us

Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fl ourishwomen Online at www.semissourian.com/fl ourish

4 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/fl ourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 4 1/21/15 4:11 PM on the cover / Daenel Vaughn-Tucker

LAURA SIMON ~ [email protected] Daenel Vaughn-Tucker inside Kent Library at Southeast Missouri State University. MEET DAENEL VAUGHN!TUCKER

By Robyn Gautschy One of her favorite topics is fashion, and it’s degree in library science evident in the carefully chosen ensembles she “I like helping students; I like the search,” she Daenel Vaughn-Tucker started her blog as a wears to work each day at Kent Library on the says. “I like that moment when a student is not way to keep in touch with friends and family after Southeast Missouri State University campus. sure what they want to do their research project she moved away. As it turned out, she didn’t end “I’m very big on thrifting,” she says. “"ere’s on, and as we’re talking about topics, something up moving — and neither did her blog. At www. got to be a way to show how you can look cute by catches their attention. "ey have that moment of livingoutsidethestacks.com, Daenel writes about mixing things from Target and Walmart and the ‘Aha — I found it!’ I really enjoy that.” fashion, faith, food, crafts, photography, product Salvation Army and Goodwill. You can come up In her spare time, Dani enjoys photography, reviews and more. Her followers include friends, with a nice out!t and no one will be able to tell.” crochet, drawing and spending time with her family and former students, as well as people she’s Dani grew up mostly in Italy — her dad was family, which includes Tony, her husband never met, but who have become her friends all in the military, and years later, she would follow of 20 years, and their !ve children and four the same. in his footsteps by serving in the Army for four grandchildren. “We’ve never met face to face, but we’ve been years. She went on to earn a degree in American Dani is also a survivor of thyroid cancer, and she through engagements, marriages, deaths — it’s a history, and it was while she was teaching history says beating it gave her a new perspective on life. community,” says Daenel, or Dani, as many call and working as a graduate assistant in the library “What I learned, and that I tell my kids, is to do her. archives that she decided to pursue a master’s Continued on next page

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 5

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 5 1/21/15 4:11 PM on the cover / Daenel Vaughn-Tucker

all the things, and don’t be afraid,” she says. “Do con!dent and they !nd humor in everything. But, one thing in life — nothing crazy or dangerous — more than anything else, all of them have a level that you can look back and say, ‘I did that.’” of compassion for others that I !nd admirable. Read on to learn more about Dani. "ey’re de!nitely the “take their shirts off their backs and give it to someone in need” kind of Describe your perfect cup of coffee: people. My perfect cup of coffee is the morning cup that I share with my friends on Instagram and Tell us one thing you’re really good at and one Facebook. It sounds silly, but about three years thing you’re really bad at: ago, I started posting a picture of my morning I think I’m a good writer. I try to make things coffee and wishing my friends a good morning. relatable, funny and interesting. I think I do a good People started responding (mostly on Instagram) job of that, especially when it’s a topic that I enjoy. by posting pictures of themselves with their cups It shows. of coffee or tea. Later on, a friend of mine who I I’m really bad at math. Like, really, really went to school with in Italy started a coffee group bad. I stopped helping the kids with their math just for sharing coffee pictures. It’s now evolved LAURA SIMON ~ [email protected] homework when they were in elementary school. ff ff Daenel Vaughn-Tucker inside Kent Library at " ff into a co ee/co ee mug swap. In the years since Southeast Missouri State University. ey didn’t su er for it; they’re all better at it than I’ve started doing this, I’ve been blessed to witness I am. I have to give credit to their father. some incredible events: engagements, births, deaths, graduations, new jobs, promotions, cancer What song will always get you on the dance diagnoses and survival. It’s funny that something floor? so ordinary has built an extraordinary community. What is your guilty pleasure? Oh gosh, "e Hubs and I will always dance to My guilty pleasure is de!nitely Pepperidge “Le Freak” by Chic. Really, how can you listen to What is your most treasured possession? Farm Chesapeake Cookies. And Boston Baked that song and not want to get up and spin around Only one? Besides my wedding set? I’d have Beans. "e candy, not the beans. the floor? to say my camera, a Nikon D3100. I often say it’s the best gift "e Hubs has ever given me, and What style or beauty tips do you swear by? What’s the last good book you read? that includes our children. For sentimental items, Always wear a pattern. And if you really want “Sarah’s Key” by Tatiana De Rosnay. I read it it’s my initial necklace. It was given to me by my to have fun, wear two. I like clothes. And shoes. many years ago, but the story has stuck with me all kids many years ago for Christmas — purchased And purses. I used to not like skirts or dresses of these years. It’s one of the few books I’ve had to at the school Christmas store when they were at all. Now I absolutely adore them. So every read through tears. in elementary school. Now they’re in college (or payday, I like to take $20 and go thrift shopping soon will be), and it just takes me back to those for cute skirts and dresses. Did you know you What talent would you most like to have? days of popsicle stick picture frames and macaroni can !nd items with the tags still on them and I would love to be able to capture emotion in necklaces. I wear it almost every day. they’re cute?! I very rarely pay full price for skirts a photograph. You know, the kind of emotion and dresses because I like them so much that I’d where you’re left thinking about a photo long after How do you like to spend a day off? just be handing over my paycheck. However, my you’ve moved on. I remember seeing a picture of A typical day off for us, "e Hubs and me, shoes and purses are a different story. I will save my grandmother when she was younger, maybe starts with breakfast at "e Hickory House. We and budget for those items because they’re the in her 20s, and she looked like Billie Holiday. like eating there because it feels like we’re eating workhorses in my closet. My shoes have to be Her hair was pulled back into a bun at the base at home, but without the cleanup. "en we run comfortable and cute, while my purses have to be of her neck and she had a flower tucked behind errands, you know, take care of stuff that we able to carry all of my stuff and still look stylish. one ear. She had this distant look in her eyes. No couldn’t get to during the week, and then we go to And, last but not least, accessories: mix costume one knows the circumstances of the photo or why one of our favorite stores: Annie Laurie’s Antiques. jewelry with the real stuff. It looks so posh that it was taken, because no one ever bothered to I think we’re there every weekend. We like to go way. ask. In those days, kids didn’t talk to their parents because it changes so much. One of my favorite the way kids do now. And my grandparents are !nds is a vintage beaded clutch that I have sitting What inspires you? long gone, so I can’t ask them. Anyway, I always on my end table in my living room. It’s so pretty My family. "e Hubs is a go-getter. Every year imagined she’d just !nished singing some soul- that I can’t even carry it. I just look at it. And he sets goals for himself and, usually, before the stirring song and a photographer caught her just we like to go to the river and talk. Funny thing, year’s end he has either accomplished or surpassed in that moment and left us with this beautiful but after living here for almost three years, we !nally them. "e Boy is very much like that. He’s very mysterious picture. I want to be able to do that. discovered the benches. When it’s warm we sit goal-oriented and makes lists and spreadsheets there and talk or people watch. Sometimes I like for everything. I wish I could be that organized. If you wrote an autobiography, what would you to take my camera with me and take pictures of My girls are more like me, but more of how I call it? the Mississippi. Simply beautiful. wish I’d been at their age: they’re incredibly self- Hmmm ... “Living Outside the Stacks.”

6 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 6 1/21/15 4:12 PM Steve Taylor Jay B. Knudtson Ken Oberlohr CEO & President Executive VP President & Agent

2 South Mount Auburn Rd. 800 North Kingshighway 1846 East Jackson Blvd. 2 South Mount Auburn Rd. Cape Girardeau, MO Cape Girardeau, MO Jackson, MO Cape Girardeau, MO (573) 334-9000 (573) 335-9000 (573) 243-9000 (573) 335-5822

Where FIRST Means More .com Visit us on Facebook

First Missouri Insurance Group is a wholly owned subsidiary of First Missouri State Bank of Cape County. First Missouri Insurance Group products are: Not a deposit. Not FDIC insured. Not guaranteed by the bank. Not insured by any Federal Government Agency. INC

A travel agent you can

Everyone wants something different from a vacation, but no one wants to worry about their vacation company. Our team provides our clients with a GREAT VACATION and PEACE OF MIND. We pride ourselves on excellent customer service and WORRY-FREE vacations. elite-trips.com Find and like us on elitetravelinc

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 7

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 7 1/21/15 4:12 PM business & finance / career success WANT YOUR RESUME TO BE READ?

Stock photo

8 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 8 1/21/15 4:12 PM fi their homework, and you don’t want to waste Your cover letter should be the place where you Avoid these ve valuable interview time correcting facts or express interest in the job, then tell them how explaining discrepancies,” says Robinson. your hard skills on your resume correspond to resume don’ts the speci!c position you are applying for, and Don’t use the same action verb. %e lastly, you ask for the interview. By BrandPoint thesaurus is not a dinosaur and it is not extinct. Avoid using “responsible for” Don’t turn your resume into a laundry list. Finding that perfect job opportunity doesn’t 2 over and over again. Switch it up. Use other Resumes are supposed to tell stories, Bates come around very often for many, and when it action verbs, such as “created,” “delivered” and says: “Resume reviewers only spend about does, excitement can take over and cloud the 5 “designed,” in addition to “responsible for.” !ve to seven seconds on a resume before they decide ability to stay focused on the best version of whether or not they want to continue reading.” your resume. Don’t get grandiose with your Start your resume with a summary or objective, “"e main purpose of a resume is to get accomplishments. In other words, an introduction of sorts. "e next information contacted,” says Mary Kate Robinson, stick to the facts. “I often correct recent on your resume should tell the reviewer why career services director at "e Art Institute 3 graduates on the terms ‘highly experienced’ you are quali!ed for the job. But Bates cautions of Houston. “Be sure to have your key ‘do’s’ or ‘extensive knowledge,’” says Becky Bates, that you should begin with your strongest point !rst, including rank/order, your experience, career services director at "e Art Institutes depending on where you are in your career. If you appropriate duties and accomplishments, International Minnesota. “Unless you have a just graduated from college, your education is your correct spelling and grammar and evidence of proven track record and have high credibility strongest point, and so your education should your knowledge, skills and abilities.” in a speci!c industry among colleagues, you be listed !rst, says Bates: “If you’ve had six to 10 Before you hit “send” on that application for shouldn’t be using those terms; and even then, years of experience in an industry, the fact that you your dream job, here are !ve not-so-obvious your examples should speak to your knowledge, worked at McDonald’s should go last.” don’ts from career service directors: skills and abilities.” Today’s employers and gatekeepers, including recruiters and human resources, are conducting Don’t have conflicting information on Don’t overly promote your soft skills on thorough searches, and no longer relying solely on your resume and your LinkedIn profile. your resume. “Employers ask for your a list of experiences. "e more holistic presentation 1 Take the time to be certain that what is 4 resume and a cover letter for a reason,” you provide of yourself as a professional, the stated on your LinkedIn pro!le matches the says Bates. Keep your soft skills on the cover better chances you’ll have in rising above the resume you are sending. “Employers are doing letter and leave the hard skills for the resume. competition.

Finally! You CAN Control Hormone Symptoms Safely.

Register Now For Our Bi-Monthly Health Lecture Series! Tues., Feb 3: Low Testosterone Men and Women The Venue 6:30 Check In 7-8 pm Presentation and Q & A Spouses Encouraged to Attend • Bioidentical Hormone Therapy has • Convenient application and dosage a proven safety history compared to • No plant or horse urine derivitives traditional HRT • Comparable expense to traditional HRT • Supplementation as effective without increased risks of cancer • Only area gynecologist offering this option Get your life back! Call Elite Woman Today!

1810 East Plaza Way · Cape Girardeau, MO · (573) 335-1344

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 9

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 9 1/21/15 4:12 PM business & finance / make it count

By Robyn Gautschy

TRAVEL !e expert: Carolyn Sandgren (Kempf ), president of Elite Travel Inc. • Once you arrive at your destination, visit the local Make it tourist board or visitors bureau. "ey’ll have ideas on things to do and places to eat that the typical tourist wouldn’t know about. "ey can also clue you in on count what restaurants have dinner specials, for example, or when tourist attractions have lower ticket prices. • Some cities, such as Chicago, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., are served by multiple airports, How to save more money and ticket prices may be different for each one. "is this year, on everything is where a travel agent comes in handy: “"e average consumer doesn’t have the time or the stomach or the from travel and fitness to software to check every single flight into every single city, but travel agents can do that fast,” says Sandgren. pets and entertainment • Consider Amtrak. If you’re going on a cruise, consider taking a train to your port city instead of driving. Train tickets usually cost less than what it would cost to park your car for a week. • If you’re certain about your travel plans, book your hotel in advance and with a nonrefundable fare — you’ll save about $15 to $20 per night. • Apartment, home and villa rentals are a huge travel trend, especially for larger parties. You can save money by cooking and eating at home instead of going out to eat, with the added bonus of privacy. Don’t feel like cooking on vacation? You can hire a private chef and it’s still probably cheaper than eating out for every meal. Sandgren recommends www. villa4me.com. • Hotel suites will save you a bundle on food, especially if you’re staying in a pricey area, such as Washington, D.C. In addition to a full breakfast, many hotel suites also offer evening meals or heavy hors d’oeuvre. • Decide what amenities are important to you, and factor them in to the cost of your lodging. For example, Hotel A may have cheaper rooms but charge an extra fee for Wi-Fi and the gym. If those amenities are important to you, it’s probably a better deal to stay in Hotel B, where rooms are slightly more expensive but Wi-Fi and gym access are included at no extra charge. • Make a budget and stick to it. “Have a realistic budget and communicate your budget, and you can almost always save money, because you’re not going to go over your budget,” says Sandgren. • Consider cruising as a travel option. Airfare can be very expensive, especially to places like the Mediterranean and Caribbean. Taking a cruise to your destination of choice can save you a bundle on airfare. Stock photo

10 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 10 1/21/15 4:12 PM FITNESS or ask your pharmacist if there are any coupons River Campus is free and has a variety of exhibits, !e expert: Dr. Jeremy Barnes, professor of health available for a medication you are taking. For including rotating art galleries. promotion at Southeast Missouri State University example, there is currently a manufacturer coupon • Take a walk. “Walking is one of the best available for Benicar, which treats high blood PETS forms of exercise and only requires a good pair of pressure, says Wood. !e expert: Stacy Busch-Heisserer, owner of Busch shoes,” says Barnes. • Review your Medicare Part D plan every year Pet Products • Make use of community resources. Look to during open enrollment (late October to early • Make treats at home. Look up recipes for local churches, parks and recreation departments December). At Broadway Prescription Shop, staff healthy dog and cat treats you can make yourself. and YMCAs for free !tness programs and group members are available to help seniors select the Busch-Heisserer’s advice: Avoid any with corn, exercise classes, such as dancing and stretching. best plan for their needs, says Wood — this year wheat or soy in them. Here’s one idea for a • Examine all costs before choosing a gym. they saved one patient $1,600 per year by !nding healthy dog treat: slice a banana into 1/4- to Find out whether the gym has an initiation fee, him a more appropriate prescription plan. 1/2-inch circles and freeze them individually on the monthly rate, and if there is an additional • Opt for generic medications. “Buying name a baking sheet. After they are frozen, bag them fee for services such as lockers, child care and brand medications vs. generics can be an expense for later use and stick in the freezer. Bananas are a personal training. you don’t need,” says Wood. “Generic medication great source of potassium, and dogs love them! • Do you really need a membership? “It may have the same active ingredient and the same • Be frugal with pet toys. Extend the life of old be more economical to pay by the visit if you amount of that ingredient(s), so saving 50 cents to plush toys by !xing them yourself — you don’t only need access to a gym at certain times of $1 on the store brand makes sense.” have to be an expert with a needle and thread year or a few times a month,” says Barnes. Parks • Focus on preventive care. “Many people use to repair a toy. Simply remove any loose stuffing and recreation departments, including Cape the old adage, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t !x it’ when and stitch up the holes. You can also round up Girardeau, also have low-cost !tness facilities it comes to their health,” says Wood. “However, old socks without mates and tie knots in them available. it’s much easier and less expensive to prevent or — these work great for teething puppies, says • Join during a less-busy time of year. Gyms manage an illness than it is to cure or treat it after Busch-Heisserer. For a cool treat, soak them in tend to be less busy in summer and fall, so special it’s begun. More and more insurance companies water and freeze. discounts may be available. are recognizing the bene!t and are providing • Take a walk. “Your dog loves being with you, • Seek out discounts. Many gyms offer coverage for preventive care procedures.” For so both of you can get in better shape and limit corporate, student, military and senior discounts. example, he says, the flu vaccine is preventive your risk of future illnesses and weight conditions Also ask if your health insurer offers discounts on care treatment to prevent the seasonal flu, and if you walk together,” says Busch-Heisserer. “Your gym memberships. “Many insurance companies most insurance policies, as well as Medicare and mental health (and his) will be better, too. A offer discounts and rebates to individuals who Medicaid, now cover the cost of a flu vaccine. “It’s tired dog is a happy dog, and that just might save make a commitment to an active lifestyle,” says a lot cheaper to get a free flu vaccine than it is to you from having to replace expensive pieces of Barnes. visit the doctor for a flu test, pay for a prescription furniture, upholstery or even your favorite pair of • If your workplace offers an employee wellness of Tamiflu and miss a week of work from the flu,” shoes!” program, take advantage of it. You may have says Wood. • You can save money by purchasing some access to an on-site !tness facility or discounted regular maintenance medications, like heartworm membership at local gyms. Wellness programs ENTERTAINMENT and flea/tick preventative, online. Just be sure you often include incentives such as free pedometers, !e expert: Stacy Dohogne Lane, director of public still take your pet for regular veterinary checkups T-shirts, water bottles, and even !nancial rewards relations, Cape Girardeau Convention and Visitors to make sure he’s in good health. Some websites or discounted health insurance premiums. Bureau also require a prescription, so check with your • Look for sources of free entertainment. "e veterinarian for more information. HEALTH Cape Girardeau Public Library and the Cape • Consider pet insurance. Some breeds have a !e expert: Kevin Wood, pharmacist at Broadway Girardeau Conservation Nature Center are two higher risk for cancer or other medical ailments, Prescription Shop local spots jam-packed with activities calendars, so pet insurance may be a smart decision for you. • Stick to your medication plan. “Taking most of which are free and suitable for all ages. “Even though there will be expenses with it in medication according to your doctor and Area parks and recreation departments and the beginning, it may help you later on if your pharmacist recommendations will help treat Southeast Missouri State University also have a pet suffers a serious illness or requires extensive any illness or disease appropriately and save you variety of low-cost programs throughout the year. surgery,” says Busch-Heisserer. Just be sure to money in the long run,” says Wood. • See a bargain movie. Wehrenberg Cape West check with your veterinarian, because not all vets • Make use of health-management programs 14 Cine is bring back its $5 Tuesday specials in accept pet insurance. covered by your insurance. You can improve your January. • Make your own pet bed. Old towels, sheets health and save money by working on smoking • Take a hike. “Hiking is free, and there’s and pillows can be repurposed into !ller for a dog cessation, obesity and weight loss, and blood sugar something special about the trails during all four or cat bed. Busch-Heisserer suggests the Molly management. Look to your doctor, pharmacist seasons — same with our amazing parks,” says Mutt company, which makes duvet covers for and medication for additional support. Lane. this purpose. If you’re really crafty, you could try • Use manufacturer coupons. Search online • Visit Crisp Museum. "is museum at the making one of your own.

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 11

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 11 1/21/15 4:12 PM health & fitness / eye care

GLENN LANDBERG ~ [email protected] Dr. Evans performs a check-up on a patient at Leet EyeCare in Cape Girardeau. %e eyes have it Glasses, contacts or readers? How to care for your eyes through all stages of life

By Robyn Gautschy Consultants in Cape Girardeau. As we get with reading even if we already have a older, he explains, the lens of the eye becomes distance correction. You may need bifocals or You know the scene: A co-worker hands stiffer and loses the ability to shift and focus no-line bifocals, called progressives.” you something to read, and you find yourself as well as it did in our younger years. If you don’t already wear glasses or squinting, craning your neck and shifting the “We expect to see changes while children contacts and you only do a couple hours paper to read the text. are growing. The next big change happens of up-close reading or work per day, you “At some point, your arms don’t extend far in our 40s,” says Dr. Laura Evans of Leet may benefit from the ever-popular and enough, and you need to get glasses,” says EyeCare in Cape Girardeau. “It’s called stylish “readers” to help you read or see the Dr. John Kinder, an ophthalmologist at Eye presbyopia — when we start needing help computer screen.

12 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 12 1/21/15 4:12 PM We expect to see changes while “children are growing. The next big change happens in our 40s.” “If your eyes don’t need inside the eye. You can pretty distance vision correction, much count on that,” says you’re generally OK with Evans. readers,” says Kinder. Sunglasses with UV However, he says eyes tend protection can slow down to be different, with one more cataracts and macular nearsighted or farsighted than degeneration, she says. the other. If you experience Eating vegetables, especially 14+)+0#. eye strain and headaches with leafy green ones, provides your readers, it’s probably antioxidants that can also time to make an eye doctor prevent macular degeneration. appointment. Dry, irritated eyes may also “Over-the-counter readers occur as we get older. only have the same prescription “Women, especially, tend for the right eye and the left to have more dry eye troubles eye,” says Evans. “Prescription — they may feel dry or burn glasses are more specific or more at the end of the day,” 107 West Drive Ste C • Cape Girardeau, MO • 335.3181 custom-made. If you’re on the says Kinder. “Artificial tears or conceptsstylingsalon.com computer or doing paperwork prescription medications can up-close for more than a alleviate that.” couple hours a day, you need While you’re making your prescription glasses when own appointment, don’t things are blurry.” overlook your children — 22 Years Of Evans and Kinder add that the American Optometric eye exams are important not Association recommends that just for vision correction, infants be seen between 6 Creating but for overall eye health and 12 months of age, again — cataracts and macular at age 3, and again before degeneration affect many kindergarten, Evans notes. people as they get older. “Sometimes people don’t Beautiful “Pretty much everyone, as realize we see children that long as they live long enough, early. It can prevent a lot of will end up with cataracts, problems that come up once Smiles which is opacity of the lens they start school,” she says. Come see why patients from all over Southeast

SAVE Missouri come to our of!ce. THE DATE Shop. Learn. Live! Ben Goodier, DMD • Rob Etherton, DMD Cody Bell, DDS

MARCH 28, 2015 10AM - 4PM Miner Convention Center Sikeston, MO Call us today to set up an appointment. 3100 East Jackson Blvd. • Jackson, MO 63755 (Across from Jackson Wal-Mart) 573-243-5200 • www.myjacksondental.com

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 13

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 13 1/21/15 4:12 PM health & fitness / thyroid disease

Stock photo

By Robyn Gautschy

DO YOU So you just had a baby — you’re supposed to feel exhausted, right? And feeling worn out is just part of the deal when you get older — right? Wrong. No one is “supposed” to feel tired all NEED TO the time, but if you are, local endocrinologists say a thyroid condition could be the culprit. An estimated 60 million Americans have TAME YOUR thyroid conditions, and women are !ve to eight times more likely than men to have a thyroid dysfunction, says Dr. Ahmed Sheikh, an endocrinologist at Saint Francis Medical Center. THYROID? “"e thyroid is important for metabolic function, for the bowels to move properly, for the heart to beat properly, and for mood and When the thyroid gland is under- or sleep patterns,” he says. “It’s really important for metabolism and the way you burn your food.” overactive, it may cause a host of "at’s a big role for the small, butterfly- shaped gland in the neck. When examining the pesky symptoms — but they’re thyroid, doctors consider both structure and function. easy to correct Structurally, you may be able to feel a lump

14 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 14 1/21/15 4:12 PM An estimated 60 million “Americans have thyroid conditions, and women are fi ve to eight times more likely than men to have a thyroid dysfunction, says Dr. Ahmed Sheikh, an endocrinologist at Saint Francis Medical Center.

in the neck area or see the lump " yroid” conditions are usually move up and down when you hereditary, but they are also swallow, say Dr. Darren Allcock common in women during or and Dr. Wu Wen, endocrinologists after pregnancy, says Sheikh. He at Southeast Endocrinology. recommends adding a thyroid Functionally, your symptoms screening to your regular lab work likely fall into one of two beginning at age 30, and then categories: hyperthyroidism or every ! ve years. Screenings may hypothyroidism. also be advised for women during An overactive thyroid, or pregnancy. hyperthyroidism, produces Treatment for a thyroid too much thyroid hormone. condition begins with a structural Symptoms may include diffi culty exam, which may include an sleeping, feeling anxious, diarrhea ultrasound or biopsy, says Allcock. or frequent stools, scant menstrual Hypothyroidism is easily treated periods, tremors and a racing by thyroid hormone replacement, heartbeat. while hyperthyroidism can be Over time, an overactive thyroid treated with medications or makes the heart work harder and possibly removing part of the can result in a predisposition for thyroid gland. heart disorders and rhythm issues " yroid troubles rarely turn and osteoporosis, says Allcock. out to be cancer. Sheikh says An underactive thyroid, symptoms of thyroid cancer are or hypothyroidism, does not not speci! c, but may include neck produce enough thyroid hormone. pressure, diffi culty swallowing, Symptoms may include feeling voice changes and a choking tired and run down without sensation. any explanation, hypersomina “" yroid cancer is not usually (sleeping too much), weight associated with thyroid dysfunction gain, heavy menstrual periods, (high or low levels),” he adds. constipation, dry skin, depression Allcock is aware of supplements and constantly feeling cold when that claim to improve thyroid others are warm. health, but says to steer clear “For most people it’s a matter of them, as they may do more of chronically feeling bad,” says harm than good. Instead, if you Allcock of the long-term eff ects have concerns about a thyroid of hypothyroidism, which is by condition, speak with your family far the more common thyroid doctor. disorder. In extremely rare cases, “" yroid conditions are easy to the body system could ultimately ! x, and the bene ! ts (of treatment) shut down and land you in a coma, de! nitely, de! nitely outweigh any he says. potential risks,” says Wen.

www.semissourian.com/fl ourish winter 2015 | Flourish 15

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 15 1/21/15 4:12 PM style & beauty / Q & A The Beauty Counter Q& Answers to your beauty questions

By Anne Hudson

Q: Does makeup expire? them from drying out. (Note: any oil- A: " is question is by far one of the most based foundation will need to be shaken common questions I receive from my if not used frequently.) A clients. " ere is no worse feeling (or at For products such as lip and eyeliners, least for me) than buying a product only you can safely use these for up to 24 to ! nd out that its shelf life is about as months. To ensure their longevity, as long as a carton of milk. So with that in well as best color payoff , sharpen them mind, I wanted to focus solely on the care regularly before each use. and expiration of your makeup so it can Mascara has the shortest shelf life of last as long as possible. all the cosmetics products. You can safely Makeup is and can be an investment. use this item anywhere between four and Sure, you can spend as little as a few six months. If you want to ensure you get dollars on a tube of lipstick, but you the most use out of this product, don’t can also feel like you have to take out a pump the wand in and out of the tube second mortgage for a good face cream. (even though it is our natural inclination Whatever price you pay, I think one to pump mascara like we’re trying to air thing rings true with all consumers: For up a bicycle tire). By pumping the wand, what you pay, you want to get as much you trap air inside the tube of mascara, use out of that product as possible. I have thereby drying it out. compiled a list of all the major products Your brushes and sponges need the About Anne and their approximate expiration time. most care. You should clean sponges after Anne Hudson, a self-taught makeup I’ll begin with powder-based products every single use to avoid risk of bacteria, artist in Cape Girardeau, has had a such as blushes, face powders and eye and then dispose of them every two or passion for makeup since she was shadows. " ese items can typically last three months. Your brushes can last you old enough to know what powder was. She could write a book about up to three years (two years is generally for years if you clean them regularly. I a tube of red lipstick, but for now, where I draw the line). Powders tend suggest using a makeup cleaner for daily she’s offering her best tips in Flourish to run the lowest risk of collecting dirt use, and a more thorough cleanse using a magazine. Got a question for and bacteria, so they can be used for a baby soap or a mild/organic soap — one Anne? Send it to rgautschy@ semissourian.com, and you might longer period of time. However, after that doesn’t contain any harsh chemicals, fi nd the answer in a future issue about 36 months, you might want to start dyes or fragrances — at least twice a week. of Flourish. considering replacing them for new ones, For a light cleansing, just apply the as the color payoff may not be as strong brush cleaner to the bristles and swipe (and the fact that when you purchased back and forth on a paper towel until your electric blue eyeshadow with fl ecks the excess makeup is removed. Allow the of glitter back in 1985, it may just not brush to dry completely before use. have the same appeal today as it did back For a deeper cleanse, wash your brushes then). with warm water and a very mild soap Liquid and cream-based makeup and rub the bristles against the palm of (i.e. foundations, moisturizers, lipsticks, your hand. Rinse the bristles thoroughly concealers, cream eyeshadows and and allow to dry with the bristles facing blushes) can have a shelf life anywhere downward, which will keep excess water from 12 to 18 months. Securing the lid on from falling back into the brush, where it these products, of course, will help keep can lead to bacteria buildup.

16 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/fl ourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 16 1/21/15 4:12 PM You can see the future in his eyes But can he?

Excellence in Pediatric Care

Greg Leet, O.D. 2 locations in Cape Laura Evans, O.D. 3230 Blattner Drive Kory Thoma, O.D. 573.334.2020 Ryne Wood, O.D. 856 N. Kingshighway Jeremey Dohogne, O.D. 573.334.0828

# # # #

2009 2014 www.LeetEyeCare.com

www.semissourian.com/fl ourish winter 2015 | Flourish 17

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 17 1/21/15 4:12 PM style & beauty / diamonds

18 Flourish | winter 2015

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 18 1/21/15 4:12 PM By Nancy Hadler

On a recent trip to Belgium, Kendra Harris, her sister, Regan Laiben, and mother, A Jayne Ervin, inspected a few hundred diamonds, determining what stones to bring back to Cape Girardeau to please and delight customers. GIRL’S "e October journey wasn’t their !rst trip to Antwerp. "ey have traveled regularly to Antwerp to visit the one-square-mile BEST diamond district — about 85 percent of the world’s rough diamonds annually pass through the district, making it the world’s largest diamond center. "e trio sees their FRIEND personal selection of diamonds as a key to the success of Jayson Jewelers, their family-run business now in its 30th year. The ladies of Jayson While in Antwerp, they meet up with direct buying site holders that source diamonds Jewelers travel to the directly from the DeBeers channel. “"e trips to Antwerp help us develop diamond capital of the relationships with sellers and connects us directly with vendors,” Harris says. “We see world to hand-select every stone before we buy it. Every stone has jewels for their store its own personality, whether it’s the color, the size or the technique used in cutting it.” — here’s what they’ve Harris is a graduate gemologist, a degree earned in 2002 at the Gemological Institute learned about of America in Carlsbad, California. "e curriculum focuses on grading and identifying the trade diamonds and gemstones. She also is a GIA- accredited jewelry professional. "e language of diamonds usually revolves around what is called “"e Four Cs”: — carat, or size; clarity; color; and cut. For Harris, however, there is a !fth C, and that is customer service. “Although Jayson is in a small town, we don’t see ourselves as ‘just another jewelry store,’ and through the Antwerp trips we have the connections available to us to !nd anything a customer might want,” Harris says, adding, for example, a customer may want to replace a lost diamond earring to complete the pair or may want to create a piece of jewelry to make an ensemble. “Whether trendy or classic, a customer may want a simple custom piece that showcases the diamond. With the diamonds we source, we allow our customers to be creative in the whole process,” Harris says.

Kendra Harris, Regan Laiben and Jayne Ervin inside their jewelry store in downtown Cape Girardeau. LAURA SIMON ~ [email protected]

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 19

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 19 1/21/15 4:12 PM style & beauty / diamonds

TREAT YOURSELF Who says jewelry has to be a gift? Here’s a guide to shopping for your own quality jewelry

Submitted photo Jayne Ervin examines melee diamonds while shopping in Antwerp, Belgium.

20 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 20 1/21/15 4:12 PM JOIN US FOR THESE FUN-RAISING EVENTS Saturday, Feb. 14 The King and I 10am - presentation & theatre games organized by Kenn Stilson and Musical Theatre majors Friday, Feb. 20 Trivia Night “Mardi Gras – an evening of masquerade & fun” Hosted by Glennview Strategies Doors open at 5:30 / trivia at 6pm

Pre-registered teams of 8 for $120/Day of event $160. 50/50 drawing and prize for best decorated table. Beer & soda provided/bring your own snacks. Saturday, March 28 LAURA SIMON - [email protected] Jayne Ervin, Kendra Harris and Regan Laiben shop for diamonds each year in Antwerp, Belgium. Breakfast with the Bunnies and Spring Sing 9 - 10:30am The products we sell have to be to our standards, Pancake & Sausage breakfast provided by iHop quality items, although we are price-point conscious. $8 per person “ (includes breakfast & all day play) In the end, we’re here to build relationships. We sell Pictures with the Easter Bunny. Live Chicks & Bunnies to play products we’re proud of. with donated by Buchheit. Pre-registration is encouraged. New Exhibits By Nancy Hadler Coming Soon! ” Help us plan our To select a quality piece of jewelry, begin with the 2nd Floor expansion! Join our Task Force, basics, says Kendra Harris of Jayson Jewelers. call Pansy to learn “Start by looking at the metal, whether it’s how you can help! sterling silver, 10-carat gold or 14-carat gold,” she says. “"en, look at the !ttings,” she says, referring to the prongs of the setting for a stone’s setting or a clasp, a bail, fasteners, soldering, etc. She recommends purchasing “from people who know what they’re doing,” suggesting that buying jewelry from a jewelry-only retailer may be the best route. “We try hard to understand what the customer is asking for. We ask questions. ‘What is the occasion? Who is this for? What are some favorite colors? What do they like to do?’” Harris says, adding, “"e products we sell have to be to our standards, quality items, although we are price-point conscious. In the end, we’re here to build relationships. We sell Submitted photo Discovery Playhouse products we’re proud of, and we want the customer Chocolate diamond parcels in Antwerp, Belgium. 502 Broadway Cape Girardeau to be proud of them, too.” MO 63701 | 573-335-7529 www.discoveryplayhouse.org

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 21

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 21 1/21/15 4:12 PM 22 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 22 1/21/15 4:12 PM FREE TO BE Bohemian-chic looks for spring

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 23

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 23 1/21/15 4:12 PM 24 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 24 1/21/15 4:12 PM Previous pages: On Leslee: Niki Biki patterned leggings, O2 collection lace vest, POL olive green tank top and long-sleeve brown top, Giving Key necklaces and Sseko Nomad booties, all available at Philanthropy in Cape Girardeau.

On Sophia: MNG pastel pink top, St. John’s Bay cardigan in titan blue, Liz Claiborne skinny jeans in concrete wash, Mix It flower necklace, boho cuff bracelet and gold cuff bracelet and A.N.A. crystal black heels, all avail- able at J.C. Penney in Cape Girardeau, with Jennifer Lopez animal print sunglasses from Kohl’s.

At left: On Sophia: Gimmicks paisley top, Billabong “Rebel” T-shirt, purple tank top, gold lace tank top, D&Y heath- ered hat, Festive bangles and necklace, Daytrip flare jeans and Freebird by Steven boots, all available at The Buckle in Cape Girardeau.

At right: On Leslee: Mata Traders deer print skirt, Aruna Singh teal top, Revy orange wristlet, wooden bead necklace and gold ivy wine cuff, all avail- able at Lattitudes Fair Trade in Cape Girardeau, with Olsenboye Gamble peep toe platforms from J.C. Penney.

Photography: Laura Simon

Styling: Robyn Gautschy and Laura Simon

Models: Sophia Baltz and Leslee Rickets

Hair: Leslee Rickets of First Impression Techniques in Cape Girardeau

Makeup: Anne Hudson

Shot on location: Shadow Rest Ministries in Cape Girardeau

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 25

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 25 1/21/15 4:12 PM 26 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 26 1/21/15 4:12 PM At far left: On Leslee: Three Pink Hearts floral dress, Freshman fringe cardigan in cream, Mudd elephant pendant necklace and patterned hoop earrings, A2 Aerosoles Pariwinkle black boots and Jennifer Lopez aviator sunglasses, all available at Kohl’s in Cape Girardeau.

On Sophia: PQLA black flare eyelet pants, PQLA “Good Vibes” swing tee, red beanie, beaded cuff bracelet, green pendant necklace and Restricted taupe booties, all available at Stash in Cape Girardeau, with red Jennifer Lopez sunglasses from Kohl’s.

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 27

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 27 1/21/15 4:12 PM 28 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 28 1/21/15 4:12 PM www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 29

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 29 1/21/15 4:12 PM features / first responders

LAURA SIMON ~ [email protected] Tora Angle, resource officer for the Cape Girardeau Police Department at Cape Central High School. Women to the rescue A look at female first responders in Southeast Missouri

By Robyn Gautschy Department of Labor. job in January, but she didn’t let it get to her. Here at Flourish, we admire women with the It’s a risk she accepted when she committed to It’s often been said that in times of emergency, courage to follow their dreams, even if others a career in law enforcement. And besides, she police officers, !re!ghters, paramedics and other say they can’t, even if they face adversity, even knows it could have been worse. !rst responders are the ones running toward if they’re alone in their pursuit. So naturally, we “You never know what the day is going to danger when everyone else is running away. were dying to meet some of the women working hold, and unfortunately, there could be a chance Someone’s got to do the job — and many of locally as !rst responders. How did they land that I’m not going to come home,” she says. those workers are men. where they are? What keeps them motivated? Moore, a Scott City native, joined the In the 1970s, only 2 percent of local law What are the ups and downs of their jobs? Bollinger County Sheriff ’s Office in 2009 enforcement officers were women, and today, Here’s what two women had to say. and worked her way up to her current role as that number is closer to 13 percent, according detective sergeant. Being a detective was always to the U.S. Department of Justice. It’s a sizable ‘You’ve gotta be tough’ her goal, she says — she wanted to help people, growth, but women are still very much the Detective Della Moore especially women and children, and she’s not minority, and few of them reach supervisory Bollinger County Sheriff ’s Office afraid of confrontation. positions. Even fewer women are !re!ghters: “One day I may deal with minor harassment about 4.5 percent, according to the U.S. Detective Della Moore was injured on the calls, and the next day I’m dealing with people

30 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 30 1/21/15 4:12 PM shooting at each other. What I love about my when things get tough. in criminal justice and psychology while working job is being able to help people, and getting “You have to have a close personal as a full-time emergency dispatcher. In 2013, child molesters and pedophiles off the street,” relationship with God to keep going. It does she became an officer at the Cape Girardeau she says. “"e joy of sending child molesters to take so much out of you to keep going,” she Police Department, and in January, she took on prison is great. It’s good not only for me, but for says. “People have no idea what it’s like to worry an additional role as a school resource officer at the child. Every one of (these children) takes a about not coming home at the end of the day, of Cape Central High School. piece of my heart.” ultimately dying. And it’s disheartening to see “I like being with kids, and I enjoy making a Moore admits it’s “very difficult” to be a what kids are going through. Seeing drug abuse difference,” says Angle, who is 25. woman in law enforcement. Her workplace is in a child’s house rips my heart out, it really does. She also hopes her work will make a great, she says, but she does encounter men who You have to be able to have somebody bigger difference in the way people view the police, don’t like taking orders from a woman. And then and better you can look to.” whether they’re afraid or distrustful or just there’s the pressure she puts on herself. And in the end, it’s all worth it, says Moore: unaware of all that being a police officer “You have to do the job and then do it 10 “It’s really rewarding to send people to prison encompasses. times over to prove yourself,” she says. “You’ve that deserve it, and to help people that cannot “"ere are some negative social views on gotta be tough. Don’t expect to be treated any help themselves.” policing, and I want to show that we’re human softer or kinder because you’re a female, because beings,” says Angle. “I’m a wife and an aunt and it’s actually the opposite. If someone thinks they ‘I like being there for people’ a daughter to somebody, just like you, but I wear can take an inch or mile from you, they’re going Tora Angle, police officer/patrolman and a uniform when I go to work.” to take it.” school resource officer When she’s not patrolling the school, Angle is Moore has more than proved herself locally Cape Girardeau Police Department likely answering and responding to calls, taking and statewide. In July 2013, she was named police reports, going to court and doing patrols Deputy Sheriff of the Year by the Missouri Tora Angle never had any doubt that she throughout the community. Sheriff ’s Association — the !rst female to would be a police officer someday. She wanted “"e thing about law enforcement that keeps receive this award statewide. She accepted to help people by being there in times of tragedy, you enjoying your job is that it’s something the award at the end of that month during a and going to the Missouri State Highway Patrol different every day,” she says. “You never know statewide conference in Spring!eld, Missouri. Cadet Academy con!rmed that law enforcement what’s going to happen. Sometimes I don’t have She also made history while attending the Law was exactly what she wanted to do — so she time to eat lunch — I’ll work for 12 hours with Enforcement Academy at Southeast Missouri pursued it full-force. nothing to eat — and other times there are only State University, where she became the !rst After graduating from Meadow Heights a few calls.” woman to receive the academy’s driving award. High School, she attended Mineral Area She says her favorite thing about the job is Moore, a 30-year-old wife and mother, credits College and Mineral Area Law Enforcement helping the community, just like she set out to her faith and family for keeping her motivated Academy, then completed her bachelor’s degree do. “When people appreciate us, it makes me enjoy my job even more,” she says. “A lot of times I feel like we’re there to help people, especially in a tragic situation where people have lost a loved one. I like being there to help them cope with that. We can only do so much as officers, but I like helping them through a traumatic situation, or if someone has been in an accident, I just like being there for them.” Angle says there were at least eight or 10 other women with her in police academy, and so far she hasn’t encountered any negative experiences as a female in law enforcement. Still, she says the job isn’t for everyone. “What I would think is most difficult is missing out on family time because we work shift work. We work holidays, nights and all different hours,” she says. “What I would tell anyone is to make sure it’s something you want to do, and if it is, you will love it. If not, try to !gure that out before you get into it. Do LAURA SIMON ~ [email protected] a ride-along with the police department, is my Detective Sgt. Della Moore of the Bollinger County Sheriff’s Department. advice.”

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 31

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 31 1/21/15 4:12 PM features / jimmy’s friends

LAURA SIMON ~ [email protected] Brooke Clubbs in the NICU at Saint Francis Medical Center in Cape Girardeau, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2015. CARING FOR ‘JIMMY’S FRIENDS’ Brooke Clubbs rallies volunteers to care for hospitalized children and their families

32 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 32 1/21/15 4:12 PM By Tyler Graef We all need things, Phentermine Available To Those As a child in the 1950s, Brooke Clubbs’ father Who Qualify was hospitalized frequently with asthma. Hearing “especially when we’re sick. Lipo-B Injections Available her father recount his fearful and isolated bouts of We need social support, $10 Off For Client Referrals illness made a lasting impression on her. 10% Off To All Military (With ID) “When he talked about it, he talked about material support and Family Practice Of!ce Visits $45 being lonely,” Clubbs says. “We’ve made so many No Insurance Needed medical advances since then, but (the loneliness of emotional support. hospitals) is an area that still seems to be lacking.” Walk-Ins Welcome So in 2013, to complete her master’s degree at ” the University of Illinois, she designed a capstone — it’s not really medical, but it’s critical to brain project to address the de!ciency. development,” Clubbs explains. “Just being held in “We all need things, especially when we’re sick. a different position, or being rocked, depending on We need social support, material support and the infant, it makes a difference.” emotional support,” she explains. “"e problem But the patients and families themselves aren’t that I had recognized is that there was a lack of the only ones who bene!t from Jimmy’s Friends’ programs that offered all three of them, especially volunteer work. Covering chores such as keeping for families with young children in the hospital. restless siblings occupied or cleaning up waiting So many parents have to go back to work or take rooms frees hospital staff to better serve their care of other kids.” patients, leading to a more efficient allocation of "rough research, Clubbs found a group at St. personnel and higher quality of care. Jude Children’s Research Hospital called Helping “Even when babies come out of the NICU, they Hands that provided her with a blueprint for how still have pretty intensive needs,” Clubbs says. “If to go about forming her group, which she named we’ve got the siblings and we’re playing with them, “Jimmy’s Friends” in honor of her father, James. the parents and therapists can get done what they Since the beginning, her interests have been need to get done.” equally motivated by academic curiosity and a Saint Francis Medical Center’s rehabilitation calling to compassion. services even gave Jimmy’s Friends an award “I think, for me, the two are intertwined, I recognizing how their work has contributed to the guess,” she says. “First comes the emotion, and average quality of visits and lessens the time that then comes the research. I’m the type of person nurses spend cleaning. that’s always looking for solutions. Some people “I hadn’t really considered how much of an say, ‘It’s not personal, it’s just business,’ but I’m not impact [a program like this] would have on the like that. Everything is personal to me.” staff,” Clubbs says, but adds she hopes a study In conjunction with Southeast Missouri might be able to quantify the efficacy of Jimmy’s State University, where Clubbs has taught Friends’ work among patients and practitioners communications since 2007, she was awarded alike. grant money to get the project off the ground. “If we could move the needle just a tiny bit “We were able to use those funds to organize — it wouldn’t have to be enormous — I could the volunteers,” she says. “It covered things like write about that,” she explains. “And if we could background checks, TB tests, supplies and other get something published, then hopefully it could things that would have ended up being cost- inspire other people elsewhere.” prohibitive.” But for now, the short-term goals are to keep "e !rst Jimmy’s Friends shifts started in a hearty volunteer pool. "ose interested in February 2014 at Saint Francis Medical Center. lending a helping hand are encouraged to explore SUBSCRIBE Clubbs says volunteers are primarily Southeast the group’s Facebook page or contact Clubbs at students — about 25 currently — who sign on Southeast. She says it doesn’t take much to make CALL (573) 335-6611 OR (800) 879-1210 for a semester at a time to work in shifts, usually a difference. about one or two hours per week. Shifts are “If people came and saw (what we do regularly), WANT MORE? focused on bringing people comforts like hot it’s really me holding a baby and singing ‘Take Sign up for our e-zine drinks, baby-sitting services or spending time with Me Out to the Ballgame,’” she says. “"ere are a version of Flourish newborns in the NICU. lot of academics that go into it, but in the end you “Sometimes just holding a newborn when just want to make the lives and those who care for everyone else might be busy with other things them better.” at www.facebook.com/flourishwomen

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 33

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 33 1/21/15 4:12 PM living / get back in the game

THE DATING GAME

Stock photo

34 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/fl ourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 34 1/21/15 4:12 PM Tips for stepping up your game in the dating department, plus fun date-night ideas

By Lori Trepasso Winery, Hemman Winery, Hunter Valley Has it been awhile since you’ve been on a Winery and "e Barrens Winery). Tickets are “real” date? Does the thought of dating make available at www.visitcape.com or at any of you feel nervous, anxious or uneasy? If so, here the participating wineries. are some tips to help ease you back into the *First Friday with the Arts is the perfect dating game. Plus, we’ll share some creative date for art lovers! Meet local artists, ask date ideas for you to try when you do meet questions about their work and experience that special someone! the rich culture of the local art world. All Over the past several years, the world of participating art galleries open at 5 p.m. and online dating websites has exploded as singles close at 9 p.m. the !rst Friday of each month search for new ways to meet potential mates. in Cape Girardeau. Enjoy wine tasting, soft “I see nothing wrong with using Internet drinks and refreshments as well. dating services,” says Utahna Hancock, a * Try hiking at Trail of Tears State Park and partner in "e Dale & Hancock Center for stopping at the overlook — it’s a beautiful Individual and Family "erapy in Cape spot to share with your sweetheart, Lane Girardeau. “I have several clients who have says. To make it even more romantic, pack a had success with them, and I know more than blanket and a picnic lunch. one person who has found a permanent mate *If trying local flavors suits you and your that way. "ey give you the opportunity to sweetheart’s pallet, Cape Girardeau has many explore where you are in your life and what edible offerings. From Italian to Mexican to you want, and it’s a safe way to look for a barbecue to Irish fare, Cape has more than 20 partner.” Stock photo locally owned and operated restaurants that However, Hancock admits she views online are “authentic to Cape,” says Lane. dating websites as a bit of a “shortcut” when it *"e River Campus at Southeast Missouri comes to searching for a lifelong mate. Be yourself and State University showcases a multitude of “You really don’t know someone until you’ve concerts and performances by university spent time with them,” she says. “let the person see students as well as artists from around the She also advises taking thing slowly in the you, warts and all. Be globe. Share one of these cultural events dating game. with your special someone and enjoy a view “Don’t take it too fast,” she says. “Remember, honest and open from of the Mississippi River to boot! Visit www. being in love is like being in a temporary state semo.edu for events, dates and ticket sales of insanity! Work through the infatuation the get-go. information. stage and see if you and this person are capable *Visit a winery or two with your signi!cant of a deeper love.” other. "ere are eight locally owned wineries If children are involved, Hancock advises ” all within a short drive of Cape Girardeau. being very aware of their feelings toward your Some offer free entertainment on weekends new love interest. as well as various special events throughout “Take things slow and easy, especially from the get-go.” the year. if kids are involved,” she says. “See if your Once you !nd that person you would like to *For a bit of a “twist” on a date (or maybe a relationship can stand the test of time.” get to know better, what next? “twisted date,” as Lane puts it!), try going on a If you’re still single and hoping to meet Stacy Dohogne Lane, director of public scavenger hunt a la Nick and Amy Dunne in someone, Hancock encourages you to “just relations for the Cape Girardeau Convention “Gone Girl.” You can even visit to "e Bar, the get out there!” and Visitors Bureau, offers these suggestions newly opened nightspot that was used when “Go to church, community activities or for an unforgettable date: the movie was shot last year in downtown join an organization or club,” she says. “Find *"e Taste of Chocolate Winery Tour on Cape Girardeau. You and your sweetie can worthy activities (to invest your time in).” Feb. 21 and 22 is a two-day event celebrating also take the “Gone Girl” driving tour. Pick Last, she encourages singles to be honest wine, chocolate and romance. Enjoy !ne wine up a printed brochure of the tour at the Cape with potential mates. perfectly paired with a decadent chocolate treat Girardeau Convention and Visitors Bureau “Be yourself and let the person see you, at each of the four wineries on the Mississippi at 400 Broadway or download it from www. warts and all,” she says. “Be honest and open River Wine Trail (Apple Creek Vineyard & visitcape.com.

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 35

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 35 1/21/15 4:12 PM living / fabulous bath

Stock photo

36 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 36 1/21/15 4:13 PM Five fast fixes for a fabulous bath Small changes add up to big comfort in the bathroom

By BrandPoint

With Americans working longer hours than ever before, most homeowners yearn for a luxurious place to relax and unwind at the end of a hectic day. "is is likely why the bathroom is the most requested home renovation project, according to the National Association of Homebuilders. However, between work, family and other household tasks, homeowners may have difficulty !nding the time (or the budget) for home improvement projects. Luckily, you can dramatically improve the look and functionality of your bathroom — all without breaking the bank or calling a contractor. Here are !ve fast !xes for a fabulous bath, all less than $100:

EXTRA ELBOW ROOM IN THE SHOWER Stock photo Have you ever wondered why a hotel shower seems so spacious? Chances are it had a curved shower rod. Now, you can bring that luxury into your own bath. Curved shower rods can STYLISH, SAFE AND SAVVY which means it also needs to store a lot of add up to 5.5 inches of extra elbow room - If the bathroom is the room to retreat stuff. Adding simple storage solutions, such without using elbow grease. Just expand the for relaxation, you want it to be safe. as hooks, towel bars, towel rings and shelves, rod to your desired length, add tension, snap Unfortunately, water creates slick, wet can add some sanity and style to your bath. on the decorative covers and you’re done. surfaces, and statistics from the Centers for Luckily, many of these solutions are extremely You’ll be amazed at the difference changing Disease Control and Prevention show that inexpensive. out a shower rod will make to the space. roughly 234,000 injuries occur annually in the bathroom. Luckily, adding peace of mind PAMPER YOURSELF SENSATIONAL SHOWERHEADS can be simple, and brands continue to expand Adding luxury to your bath doesn’t always Now that you have more room to relax their bath safety selections to ensure a safe have to involve the home improvement store. in the shower, is your current showerhead bath is also a beautiful bath. Look for grab New, plush cotton towels and memory foam offering a sensational experience? If not, bars and hand grips that not only provide a bath mats can give your room a spa-like feel. don’t settle for a subpar spray — upgrading sturdy grip when getting into or out of the "e towels will envelop you in comfort while your showerhead is simple. Just unscrew your bath or shower, but also the style and !nish to your feet sink into the plush bath mats on the current showerhead, wrap some plumber’s perfectly match the rest of the bath. floor. Don’t forget to engage all your senses — tape around the arm and screw on the new not just sight — with soothing new lotions showerhead. A rainshower is an excellent ADMIRABLE ACCESSORIES and soaps. "ere are hundreds to choose from choice to provide quality coverage, and many In addition to being a relaxing retreat, and they can easily transport you to a vacation options are available at affordable prices. the bathroom is host to many activities — state of mind.

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 37

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 37 1/21/15 4:13 PM living / suck it up

A variety of vacuum cleaners are availalbe for sale at The Golden Needle Sew and Vac in Cape Girardeau. Mean machines Vacuum cleaners for a clean and healthy home

By Nancy Hadler Experts suggest a good look at your floors at 300 S. Kingshighway in Cape Girardeau before you buy, and a trip to the store to pull sells sewing machines, yes, but also has a "ey come with names like Shark, Neato, and push, turn and carry — and listen. Can considerable portion of floorspace devoted to Sunburst and AirRam. you handle its noise? vacuum cleaners in a range of models. Color choices include black cherry !zz, "e traditional upright, especially with a “"en, I might ask if your house is on a single purple passion and Bordeaux pearl. !lter bag, seems to do best on carpet. While level or multiple levels. Do you have pets? Do Before you buy, you may want to talk to an an upright can weigh as much as 20 pounds, it you have teenage children? Understanding the expert or do a test drive. And, before investing, easily stores in a closet or pantry. cleaning situation lets me help you !nd the you may want to take to the Internet for Canister vacuums seem to be more versatile right equipment,” Winschel adds. product reviews. — cleaning carpets, but also doing the job Winschel, who started the business in 1981 In the market for a new car? on bare floors, draperies and upholstery and in Perryville, Missouri, opened a store in Cape No, but a new vacuum cleaner is needed. beneath furniture. "ey work well on stairs, Girardeau in 1991 and then consolidated the If the range of product types is extreme — whether carpeted or bare. business 10 years ago at the current location, uprights, canisters, sticks, robotic, hand vacs “My !rst question is, ‘What kind of floors which includes "e Sewing Basket, selling and central vacuum systems — the variety do you have? Hardwood? Carpet? Ceramic fabric and notions and offering classes. of models is dizzying. And they can range in tile?” says Sheryl Winschel, owner of "e "e store is a dealer for the line of cleaners price from $49.99 to $1,000 and more. Golden Needle Sew and Vac, whose store from Riccar — whose plant is in St. James,

38 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 38 1/21/15 4:13 PM FRED LYNCH - [email protected]

Missouri, and is one of the few vacuum throughout the house. 30 years. A number of manufacturers make the manufacturers in the United States. It also is Morris Owens of Owens Enterprises in central systems, and Beam is manufactured by an authorized dealer of the German-designed Jackson has sold the Rainbow system since Electrolux. Lindhaus vacuums, which are known for 1969; the product is available only from A central vacuum system contains three extreme !ltering capability and extensive independent distributors and is not sold in major components: a power unit, a !ltration warranties. retail stores. system with a canister to collect the dirt and a Robotic vacuum cleaners, which hit the “"e Rainbow is a canister-style machine network of pipes behind the walls and floors and market about 10 years ago, are a convenient with a power nozzle with revolving-brush at inlets where users plug in the vacuum hose. hands-free way to clean floors. edge cleaners,” Owens says. “It’s healthier to Heuer says the best time to install a central Consumer Reports says the robotic category use ... because it produces pure, breathable air system is during a home’s construction or is growing, although robots can face difficulty by removing 99.9999 percent of dust, dirt and renovation, and he has installed the system in with fringed rugs and electrical cords. other debris.” existing homes, adding that a site survey and “In an uncluttered room, a robotic vacuum Noting that the Rainbow is certi!ed as estimate generally are free. can !ll in between regular vacuuming sessions. asthma and allergy friendly by the Asthma Heuer says “Ninety-nine percent of "e better models can !nd their way out of and Allergy Foundation of America, Owens particulate matter is removed,” through the tight spots and around extension cords,” says some customers run the machine help of a permanent, non-replaceable, self- Consumer Reports says, adding, “No robotic overnight to !lter the air, and may add a cleaning !lter. vacuum can match the deep cleaning you’ll fragrance such as eucalyptus, lemon or vanilla. “"e popularity of the central systems has get from the best uprights and canisters.” A refurbished unit with a warranty may cost increased drastically” in recent years, Heuer Alternatives to traditional vacuum cleaners $600; new units sold by a distributor and says, citing its convenience and efficiency. are the Rainbow Cleaning System, which uses carrying a manufacturer’s warranty are in the Winschel sums up the cleaning quest a combination air and water !ltration system, $2,000 range. this way: “"e issue should be !nding the and central vacuum systems, which have the Gary Heuer, through his company Beam right equipment that’s the least physically power unit located away from the living area Central Cleaning Systems in Cape Girardeau, demanding on you and that keeps your home and a hose that plugs into vacuum inlets has been installing central vacuum systems for clean and healthy.”

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 39

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 39 1/21/15 4:13 PM Paws & Effect New year, new food

By Stacy Busch-Heisserer !ller! Fat is also key to good nutrition because it is a We all make New Year’s resolutions to eat better source of energy than a carbohydrate. Fats more healthily, but isn’t it time we did the same are readily available from plants and animals, but thing for our pets? In this hustle and bustle animal fat is more easily synthesized by the body. world, we are sacri!cing not only our own We call these “good” fats, and despite what you nutritional needs, but that of the family pet. may have heard, your pet needs them! Convenience very often wins out over nutrition Look for the following things: for our dogs and cats, and it’s time we got back *Clearly named meat or !sh source — to basics. chicken, lamb, beef, salmon About Stacy You don’t need a kitchen full of fancy * Concentrated named meat proteins — Stacy Busch-Heisserer is the owner of ingredients or a degree in nutrition to feed your chicken meal, turkey meal Busch Pet Products and Zoomin’ Groomer pet the right stuff. You just need to know what’s * Whole grains and starches — brown rice, Mobile Pet Salon in Cape Girardeau. She fi biologically appropriate for your dog or cat, and barley, sweet potatoes is a lifelong animal lover who has ve cats and four dogs. then you can make smart choices that will make * Fresh fruits and vegetables — whole them healthier and happier, and in turn they potatoes, carrots, apples will live longer. Wouldn’t it be nice if the only * Named fats from quality sources — chicken time you had to visit your vet was for your pet’s fat, herring oil, sunflower oil, coconut oil annual vaccinations? Wouldn’t you like to see an * Natural preservatives — mixed tocopherols, You don’t need end to the overuse of antibiotics and steroids vitamin C or E “a kitchen full of fancy that we know do long-term and lasting damage? Run screaming out of the store when you see Hopefully this article can serve as a guide for these: ingredients or a you to make healthy choices in feeding your dog * Nonspeci!c ingredients — poultry by- or cat. products, meat and bone meal degree in nutrition Water is a no-brainer, but did you know the *Protein !llers — corn gluten, wheat gluten, to feed your pet average dog or cat does not drink enough water? egg product meal, whole grain sorghum "e adult dog’s body is 60 percent water, and * Carbohydrate overload — re!ned flours, the right stuff. You puppies have an even higher percentage. Even wheat, mill runs a slight loss of body water can cause issues such * Processed fruits and vegetables — tomato just need to know as dehydration and urinary tract infections, so pomace, dehydrated potatoes what’s biologically make sure your pet has access to plenty of fresh * Fats from nonspeci!c sources — poultry fat, water. If you feed kibble alone, add a little warm animal fat, vegetable oil appropriate for your water to the bowl to help with digestion. *Arti!cial preservatives — BHA and BHT Is all protein the same in pet food? Not hardly! dog or cat, and then Meat proteins and plant proteins are vastly A lot of folks assume feeding a better quality you can make smart different, but some manufacturers want you food will cost more money, but that’s not to believe they aren’t. Dogs are truly classi!ed necessarily the truth. Some of today’s holistic choices that will make as omnivores in today’s world, meaning they foods are cheaper than those big-name foods. consume other animals and plants, but don’t And if you feed a food that has more quality them healthier and assume they can survive on junk plant protein nutrients, you can often feed much less than that happier. like corn, wheat or soy. Dogs and especially cats food with all the !llers and additives, making (who are truly carnivores) need good quality that bag of you bought last a whole lot longer. meat protein, not a thinly veiled substitute. Another bonus? Not as much waste to pick up! ” Carbohydrates aren’t bad for dogs. In Don’t let the front of the dog food bag fool reasonable amounts, they can actually provide you. "ose pretty bags are designed for us, not a practical source of energy, but in the amounts for your pet! Read the labels and !nd the best that are in mass-marketed pet food, they are food for your dog or cat. We want our fur babies not doing our pets any good. Some of those to be around for a long time, and a healthy diet, name-brand foods contain up to four times the coupled with exercise, will go a long way toward carbohydrate content as needed. "at’s a lot of meeting that goal.

40 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 40 1/21/15 4:13 PM age appropriate / parenting tips Day care dilemmas Advice on finding a day care for your children

By Lori Trepasso to.” "ere are “red flags” to avoid when it comes to If you’re a working parent of a young child, day cares and in-home care. chances are you have needed or will need day care “We’ve had kids who have come to us from other for that child at some point. What should you look day cares who have had accidents and nobody could for when choosing a day care? What questions tell the parents how the accidents happened,” says should you ask? What are the red flags that should Moore. “We document any accident or injury by indicate a day care isn’t for you? !lling out a report and making a phone call to the Security has become a big issue for parents parent if a child gets hurt or injured in any way.” over the years, says Becky Moore, director of the Albertson warns against day cares where there University School for Young Children at Southeast are too many children or where staff workers aren’t Missouri State University. engaging with the children. “We have a security system with a four-digit code “Make sure the staff is on the floor participating that we only give to parents,” she says. “It’s then their with the children, not sitting in the office,” she choice who to give the code to for picking up and says. “I’d also avoid a day care that has a lot of staff dropping off their child. We keep all doors locked turnover.” at all times, and our staff is trained to identify the Daycare directors and parents recommend pickup person. If we are unfamiliar with them, we looking for a day care long before you actually plan ask them to show their ID and we match it with the to enroll your child. information we have on !le.” “I’d advise looking right away — as soon as Security was an important factor for Kacie Stock photo you !nd out you are pregnant,” says Moore. “Our Brumbaugh, a schoolteacher whose son is 20 waiting lists average one and a half to two years, months old and goes to day care. depending on various factors.” “For example, if my mother went to pick up my engaging with materials? Are they receiving enough Albertson says the waiting list for infants and son, which she has never done before, they would playtime outside? Parents should also check out (the babies is the longest at her day care facility. ask for her ID and cross-reference it with the list of facility’s) feeding and diapering area.” “Infants and babies are the hardest (spots to adults I have approved to pick up my son,” she says. Brumbaugh says accreditation was her top obtain) because those classes are the smallest,” Julie Albertson, director of Christian School priority when she chose a day care for her son. she says. “We only have eight babies in a class. By for the Young Years in Cape Girardeau, suggests “Schools can be nationally accredited and can preschool age, there are more options.” parents determine what they are looking for in a be licensed to watch children. "ere are strict Albertson says her waiting list averages nine to day care before they start looking. guidelines for the NAEYC (National Association twelve months long, depending on the age of the “It really depends on the age of the child,” she for the Education of Young Children)-accredited child. says. “Needs for infants, toddlers and preschoolers schools, and they are monitored by the NAEYC. “We have you pay a deposit to hold your spot, are all different. We also provide parents with a ‘tips Some standards include teacher-to-student ratio, but we will work with you,” she says. “For example, sheet’ listing what to look for in a day care.” curriculum, hiring teachers with appropriate we had a (parent) who planned to return to work Many other factors come into play when !nding degrees, assessments given to children to show in August, but she didn’t end up going back until a day care that suits you best. growth, sanitation of the center and playground and January, so we just deferred her child’s enrollment “Cleanliness is really big,” says Moore. “A friendly classroom safety.” until then.” staff, the type of curriculum and class size are all For Bobbie Owens, who owns and operates her Brumbaugh agrees that scouting for a day care things parents should take into consideration.” own cleaning business, flexibility and knowing the early is key. Alberston agrees. caregivers personally were important factors when “When we announced the pregnancy to our “Teacher-to-child ratios, whether the facility choosing a day care for her 2 1/2-year-old son. family and friends, I immediately called and put my is meeting state requirements, is accredited and “("e caregivers) have great character and have son on a waiting list,” she says. “Infant classrooms is licensed or not should be considered,” she says. been doing day care for many years,” she says. “"ey tend to !ll up fast, as they have the smallest numbers “Also, does the staff seem warm and caring toward are flexible, which is very important because I clean in their rooms, so spots are limited. My advice is to the children? Are the activities developmentally two days a week, but if I need an extra day, they are scout around and call as soon as you !nd a school appropriate for the age of the child? Are the children !ne with it and they let my change my days if I need that meets your criteria.”

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 41

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 41 1/21/15 4:13 PM We’ve grown to serve you better! • Newly renovated, larger building • “Acres” of parking • More state-of-the-art tanning beds • And as always, it’s clean, clean, clean

Present this Coupon to receive 20% off your next tanning or Mystic spray tanning package R (Expires Feb. 21, 2015; one coupon per customer) #

# # 1403 N. Kingshighway, 2014# # # Cape Girardeau, MO # # (Behind Cyclewerx) 2009 573-335-1595 2007 2008

New Jackson location Coming Soon! Innovative Orthodontics will be opening a new Jackson of!ce located at 404 S. Hope Street in April! Thank you to our past, present, and future patients for making this possible.We look forward to making many beautiful smiles in 2015! For a FREE consultation call: 573-332-7223 Braces for Children & Adults

TERRY SPENCE, D.D.S, M.D.S. Cape Girardeau, MO • 2103 Broadway Jackson, MO • 430 West Independence Perryville, MO • 334 North Main

42 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 42 1/21/15 4:13 PM age appropriate / parenting tips Your child’s self-esteem: A delicate balance between healthy and the Kardashians

By Shannon Anderson instability. At every opportunity, share with your child how much you love him and care about How should parents promote healthy self- him. Give him a hug and tell him how much About Shannon esteem development in their children? And how you love him daily. "is daily nurturing can go Shannon Anderson is a licensed profes- fi do you draw the line so your child doesn’t develop a long way. sional counselor and a national certi ed fl ! counselor and owner and clinical director an ultra-in ated ego t for the Kardashian clan? Next, be sure you’re providing your child with of Tender Hearts Child Therapy Center in "ere’s de!nitely a delicate balance between plenty of opportunities to try new things. Don’t Cape Girardeau. developing a healthy self-esteem and going too get me wrong, I’m de!nitely not a proponent far, only to have an entitled brat on your hands. of having something scheduled every night of Let’s start with some things parents can do to the week and all day on Saturday! But a few promote positive, healthy self-esteem. different, rewarding experiences every week For starters, always try to be a positive role or two serve to promote the development of model for your child. Your children learn more healthy self-esteem in children. Pick an activity than you think by just watching you in your or two where your child can work and try hard control over. everyday interactions at home, church or in to accomplish something — something he can Parents who constantly shower their children other settings. Try to model the type of positive, invest real effort into and feel good about his with too much praise are unfortunately doing healthy self-esteem you want your child to have. effort. "en, as a parent, be sure you’re praising them a huge disservice. Children need to learn Remember when you were young and your his efforts with healthy, speci!c praise as opposed how to self-regulate failures as well. Not every mom or dad praised you for the hard work and to more flat, general praise. situation in life can be met with victory and, at effort you put into something? Not the end Here’s an example of praise that’s too general some point, failure is a given. Your son needs to result, but the actual effort you put forth when vs. more effective, speci!c praise: know how to handle frustrations and failures you tackled a project with bulldog determination. “Wow, great job!” (Too general) vs. “Great and not have a total emotional meltdown when "is is one of the best things you can do to effort practicing for the band recital. I’ve noticed faced with adversity. Teach him to self-regulate promote a healthy self-esteem for your child. Just you’ve been practicing every night this week, and so he can internally manage inevitable failures remember to praise real efforts and not just the you’re really working hard.” (Speci!c) without crumbling. !nal results or successes. If your child pours his So now that you know how to build your "is starts by not sheltering or buffering his heart out but still comes up short of !rst place, child’s self-esteem in a healthy way, how can you failures. Allow him to fail when it naturally acknowledge his efforts so he will not only keep be sure you don’t go too far? And when do you happens and resist the temptation to jump in trying, but will also begin developing skills to know your child’s self-esteem has crossed the and protect him completely. Model for your self-regulate his emotions when met with failure. line into Kardashian territory? child how it’s OK to be frustrated and let down Also, try to maintain a nurturing, positive Too much praise, especially when it’s without completely falling apart emotionally. home environment at all times. Children raised unwarranted, can actually teach your child to And explain that failure does not mean he’s in volatile, chaotic home environments almost rely on others for external motivation. Hey, who worthless, terrible or any other host of things he always struggle with self-esteem issues at wouldn’t get spoiled hearing how great they are may be tempted to call himself. Failure just gives some point in their childhood, and these often for little to no reason day after day? him, and anyone, the opportunity to learn and continue into adulthood. No family is perfect, but "is is where limiting your praise comes into grow stronger. at least aim for the most stable home situation play. Praise is like anything else: it’s best used in So, there you have it. Follow these guidelines you can provide for your child and family. A small to moderate doses. Don’t throw praise at and you’ll be well on your way to helping your child who frequently hears mom and dad yelling your child for every little thing he does. And don’t child build healthy self-esteem while avoiding and arguing will certainly be affected by this dole out praise for things your child has little or no and inflated ego !t for the Kardashians!

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 43

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 43 1/21/15 4:13 PM age appropriate / princess progress

AP Photo/Disney This image released by Disney shows, from left, Anna, voiced by Kristen Bell, Olaf, voiced by Josh Gad, and Kristoff, voiced by Jonathan Groff in a scene from the animated feature “Frozen.” Princess progress Daughters inspire independent Disney princesses

By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer Woolverton, who wrote “Male!cent,” released “We can’t put a movie on the screen where the on DVD in November. “"e princesses that protagonist is asleep through half the movie and LOS ANGELES (AP) – A Disney princess were created in the 1940s and ‘50s, they were the only wakes up when a man wakes her up and no longer needs a prince to experience true love. best of what a woman should be then: You’re the tells her, ‘OK, you can start your life now,”’ he Sisterhood saves the day in “Frozen.” Motherly good girl. You took abuse ... and through it all, says. “I don’t want to tell my daughter that story.” love breaks an evil spell in “Male!cent.” A little you sang and were nice. But we’re not like that Jennifer Lee also was thinking of her daughter girl’s love of her own life is a focus of Pixar’s next anymore. We kick ass now.” when writing and directing “Frozen.” She !lm, “Inside Out.” Woolverton reflects that in her work, which wanted to create characters they both could Where romance was once the goal of the includes screenplays for “Beauty and the Beast” relate to, and felt the bond between sisters would cinematic princess (think “Cinderella” and and “Alice in Wonderland.” She thought of her be more accessible to a young girl than the lure of “Sleeping Beauty”), Disney – long a key love for her daughter when writing the twist on romantic love. Lee also wanted to reflect the real purveyor of princess ideology – is shifting its true-love’s kiss in “Male!cent,” she says. girls she knows, which meant leaving familiar lens toward independent female protagonists “It’s different than any kind of romantic love,” princess tropes behind. de!ned by broader criteria than how they relate she says, “and it would be more powerful in "ough Anna initially seeks a prince, she, like to men. Filmmakers, inspired by their daughters, breaking a spell than any other kind of love.” Elsa, is ultimately motivated by familial love. "e hope the shift might change some real-life Don Hahn, an executive producer of two lead characters weren’t originally written as perspectives, too. “Male!cent,” says it would be “totally princesses, Lee says. “All these Disney heroines, the princesses, inappropriate” to have a modern Sleeping Beauty “We did it to add pressure to them,” she they’re a product of their time,” says Linda rescued by Prince Charming. says. “In Cinderella’s case, becoming a princess

44 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 44 1/21/15 4:13 PM is the happily ever after. In our case, becoming Special promotion section a princess put the pressure on them because they’re responsible for an entire kingdom.” Meanwhile, “Cinderella” is getting a face lift from Disney, with an updated, live-action things we L VE version due out this spring. "e following year, the studio is releasing the animated “Moana,” centering on a female island adventurer. Pixar’s Cape Girardeau Conservation Nature Center “Inside Out” is set for release this summer. Writer-director Pete Docter says his daughter inspired the Pixar movie, which tells the story The Missouri Department of Conservation’s of an adolescent girl growing up from the women’s only Rabbit Hunting with Beagles perspective of the emotions inside her head. "e Clinic on Feb. 14 is an awesome way to tale has nothing to do with her !nding romance, celebrate Valentine’s Day. Leave the boys he says. at home, get your girlfriends together “"at’s not part of my daughter’s story,” he and head to the field! Learn about rabbit says. “"is story is about becoming and getting hunting from the professionals in a fun and older.” safe environment. Enjoy a meal together Hahn acknowledges some concern among at the end (where chocolate is always producers about how Disney traditionalists incorporated). Call 573-290-5730 for more might view these evolved princesses. information or to register. “We thought the purists, the Disney fans, Text NATURE to 91212 for Nature Center what are they going to think? Because you’ve event reminders, or go online to mdc.mo.gov/capenaturecenter for a full list of upcoming events at the got to have your prince and all that,” he says. Cape Nature Center. “But the idea is yeah, you can have your prince, but that’s a component of your life.” Feminism pioneer Gloria Steinem says such independent female characters can make a Vines 2 Wines Excursions difference in real-life gender perceptions. “If we can see it, we can be it,” she says. “If we Vines 2 Wines excursions are the answer don’t see it, we don’t know we can.” for a unique, tasteful, educational and fun It has paid off at the box office. “Frozen” alternative to a traditional office party, bridal has brought in more than $1.2 billion globally, shower or outing with friends. Whether making it the !fth highest grossing movie you are looking for an exclusive group ever, according to box-office tracker Rentrak. experience such as business team building, “Male!cent” was a hit over the summer, with book club, dinner club or wine club or want $750 million in worldwide ticket sales. to be part of several planned excursions Lee hopes seeing independent girls on screen throughout the year, we offer a unique and valued for strength and with goals beyond fun experience like no other. romance, will help real-life girls avoid the Visit www.vines2wines.net or call 573- pressure of trying to meet an idealized female 579-9009 to book your trip today, or “like” us on Facebook and enter to win one of our free monthly image. “Wine2Wrinkles” ladies night excursions. “"e more we create real characters that are flawed and messy, we won’t waste our time with all that stuff and we can just get on with living,” she says. The Bar Woolverton expects more realistic and empowered female characters as more women Stylish and comfortable, let !nd work as writers and directors. everyone know you’re not missing “Naturally, women as artists are portraying – you’re just out having a good themselves as protagonists,” she says. “"e time. Adult sizes S to 5X in black or protagonist doesn’t stand behind anyone else. ... white. For more options, visit www. "ey lead on their own.” thebarincape.com/collectables. Hahn says seeing independent female characters bene!ts both girls and boys – “that you don’t have to be a man to be an engineer or a scientist and you don’t have to be a woman to be a great cook or raise children.”

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 45

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 45 1/21/15 4:13 PM %e Five of Clubbs Pink or Blue? Scary love Gender Determination at 16 weeks! About Brooke Brooke Clubbs has one This state-of-the art facility features: husband, two dogs, three kids, four aunts - Nice family viewing room for live and uncles, 14 cousins Ultrasounds and is passionate about teaching, running, - Experienced ultrasound technicians cooking, reading, writing, scrapbooking, - Special Pricing For Multiple social justice and health Ultrasounds communication (not necessarily in that order). - 3 Dimensional Ultrasounds There’s a lot of scary love to go around.

Keepsake Photos Included! By Brooke Clubbs 83 South Plaza Way • Cape Girardeau MO 63701 • 573-803-3003 When our babies would give us big, open-mouthed kisses that sometimes led to biting or hair pulling, Bob and I would say, “Uh-oh ... scary love!” When they gave us surprisingly powerful toddler hug/knee TransformYour Event tackles that could knock us backward? “Oh, no! Scary love strikes again!” Sometimes now I observe them quietly reading or working on something and get such a burst of pride that I announce, “Scary love!” To Extraordinary! and pounce on them, smothering them with affection. It occurred to me the other day as I was writing a heartfelt Facebook message to my uncle, that my kids aren’t the only recipients of “scary love.” I extend this kind of love to my aunts, uncles, cousins and friends — a need to share affection and gratitude that comes with growing up and from experiencing sudden loss. My dad went to work one day !ve years ago and didn’t come home. We knew we loved each other, but there was a lot left unsaid. I took for For All your granted that we would have time. So, I’m more likely to let people know Special right now, “Hey, here’s something I really admire about you ...” or, “Let Occasion me tell you what I really appreciate that you did for me ...” Does this Rental Needs! make people nervous that I think one of us is going to die soon? I hope Complete Line not. I just think these words shouldn’t be like the good dishes and only of Wedding Accessories, brought out on a few special occasions each year. Costumes, I guess something to ponder as we head into chocolate-covered, Parties, heart-bedecked Valentine’s Day is that all love is a little scary. It’s risky Receptions, Carnival Supplies to care a lot about something, whether it’s a person, a dog or a cause. and Equipment It’s even riskier to let the world know you care about it. You could be rejected. You could lose it. But in the end, I would choose a sloppy baby smooch over being 1914 Independence perfectly polished, and I would choose pouncing over standing by. My Cape Girardeau passion might overwhelm in the classroom, at the dinner table or in a 332-7186 Facebook message. I’ll have to deal with the consequences. Scary love won’t make life easier, but it will make it worth living.

46 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 46 1/21/15 4:13 PM spotlight / designs S O9| IGH 9 on Sseko Designs

Submitted photos Daenel Vaughn-Tucker, a member of the Sseko Brave Collective, wears Sseko sandals and raises awareness about the mission on her blog.

By Robyn Gautschy completing one “Sseko Step” each month, earns, she reinvests 90 percent of it back into Daenel “Dani” Vaughn-Tucker knows how such as writing a letter to a woman in Uganda, her family. fortunate she is to be a woman living in America, hosting a trunk show of Sseko products or “I’m truly passionate about empowering where she has access to all the education she telling others about the Sseko mission. women to do more and be more through could ever want. In many countries, it’s not “Women in other countries are often the education,” Dani wrote in her blog after so simple. So when she discovered Sseko sole breadwinners, and with education they joining the Sseko Brave Collective. “And as a Designs, a Uganda-based fashion brand that can learn skills to support their families,” says mother of !ve, I know how important it is to provides jobs and scholarship opportunities Dani. get an education and to be an example to my for women in East Africa, she was thrilled not To date, Sseko has enabled 47 women to children.” just to wear the signature sandals with fabric attend university and employs 50 women Read more about Sseko at www. straps, but to become a member of the Sseko in Uganda, according to ssekodesigns.com. ssekodesigns.com, or check them out locally Brave Collective. What’s more, the organization states that for at Philanthropy and Concepts Styling Salon Members of the collective commit to every dollar a woman in a developing economy in Cape Girardeau

www.semissourian.com/flourish winter 2015 | Flourish 47

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 47 1/21/15 4:13 PM WHAT S NEW?

2845 Professional Court | Cape Girardeau, MO 63703 | 573-334-5545 Children’s Dental Health Month

February is Children’s Dental Health Month! A month to reassert your parental rights. As a parent it is your job to maintain your child’s oral hygiene. Here are three P’s to live by: Be PERSISTENT. That means consistent routines. Brush and !oss your child’s teeth twice a day. Same time and place make it easier for you to remember. Be POSITIVE. Make the routine just part of life. My kids cried as if it was the end of the world when I brushed their teeth until the age of 4. I always just did the job and when they were still crying on the bathroom !oor, I left the room and changed my tone of voice to “Mary Poppin’s”and then moved onto the next task at hand, be it dressing for the day or bedtime stories. At age 4 they calmed down and realized this was how we do it!! During the “tween”years I just stayed consistent and positive that it had to be done!! PRACTICE what you preach. Schedule your own dental appointments as well as your children’s this month. If you are due in different months, call your dental office and get those appointments booked and on your family calendar. Be persistent, be positive, and practice great habits yourself. Routines are necessary! Happy Children’s Dental Health Month Dr. Jayne Scherrman Now accepting dental insurance.

48 Flourish | winter 2015 www.semissourian.com/flourish

Fl-TH-Z01-020115.indd 48 1/21/15 4:13 PM