Parshas Vayikra // By Rabbi Y. Y. Rubinstein

Forget the shidduch crisis

ecently, I let slip that I had made 55 shidduchim. Now I am not a shadchan, and I only Rmake shidduchim if I know the boy and girl well as my talmidim, but nonetheless, when someone told someone who told someone the number of couples that are happily married through my arrangement, I became a Media Matchmaker. I was interviewed on a secular radio program recently, and needed to help with this process. a fetus is formed. “"is girl will marry then calls came !ooding in for me to “Ah!” said the interviewer, “It’s a bit this boy,” the bas kol announces. But if speak about the topic elsewhere. like the marriage model, where a couple no one hears the voice, then why does it A Jewish radio station wanted me to needs a third party to help them sort out speak? address the “Shidduch Crisis” issue. "ere their problems?” Reb Moshe answers that even though just seem to be so few young men—or “No,” I replied, “It’s like the Torah none of bnei Yisrael was on the level even older men, for that matter—for model. Asei lecha rav applies to every to hear what Moshe heard, Hashem women to marry. A recent Ami article major life decision we have to make. If wanted them to be. He spoke in a loud explained the crux of the problem from it applies to married couples, then kal voice to encourage them to strive to be a demographic perspective: Men of any v’chomer, it applies to singles who are able to hear it one day. age tend to marry younger women. As trying to get married.” "e voice that announces the perfect our frum birth rate increases, so does the My interviewer started the show shidduch for you has already spoken. It number of girls there are to choose from. with a story of someone who had gone speaks to let you know that the ultimate Too much choice is not usually a good to ask a chasidishe rebbe for “a brachah matchmaker is Hashem Himself. "e thing; the more choices there are, the for shidduchim.” "e rebbe said that was voice encourages you to strive to #nd the harder it is to choose one. Young men, something he could not help with. “I better half of your soul at the right time. especially, are quickly spoiled by choice. can give you a brachah for a shidduch, but If you are careful to go about #nding And, as I told the Jewish audience of not for shidduchim. You only need one!” that person in the proper way, with the radio show: Far, far more important In this week’s parshah, Hashem calls a little help from someone acting as than the matchmaker who comes up to Moshe (Vayikra 1:1). Rashi explains Hashem’s deputy matchmaker to make with the idea of a shidduch, is the person that only Moshe heard Hashem’s voice, the suggestion, and a wise mentor to who sees the shidduch through to the while klal Yisrael did not. Perhaps the supply good advice during the process, end, counseling and guiding the young reason was that Hashem called out im yirtzeh Hashem, you will #nd the single. "is is very important because quietly? No, writes Rashi, the voice was perfect shidduch in the perfect time— people tend to view themselves very enormously loud. But still, only Moshe forget the shidduch crisis! subjectively. "ink of the last time you could hear it. were in an argument. Who was right? Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, asks: If People are very good at judging others, only Moshe was to hear the voice, why Rabbi Y. Y. Rubinstein is an author of but they are absolutely hopeless when did it have to be so loud? "ere is also six books, and an international speaker and it comes to taking a good honest look another time when Hashem’s voice calls Gateways lecturer. He teaches at Machon at themselves. An objective mentor is out but no one hears it: forty days before Basya Rochel, in Lawrence, NY.

12 | | MARCH 13, 2013 | 2 NI SSAN 5773