The Sacrament of Marriage Saint Patrick Catholic Church

Saint Patrick Catholic Church 2844 Village Drive Fayetteville, North Carolina 28304 (910) 323-2410 Website: stpatnc.org

THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE AT SAINT PATRICK CATHOLIC CHURCH

A PRAYER FOR AN ENGAGED COUPLE

Lord send your blessing upon this couple, that as they await the day of their wedding, they will grow in mutual respect and in their love for one another; that through their companionship and prayer together they will prepare themselves rightly and chastely for marriage. We praise you, Lord, for your gentle plan draws together this couple, in love for one another. Strengthen their hearts, so that they will keep faith with each other, please you in all things, and so come to the happiness of celebrating the sacrament of their marriage. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Overview: Planning for your Marriage Liturgy at Saint Patrick Catholic Church

These guidelines are intended to assist engaged couples in preparing for marriage in the Catholic Church. The Scriptures continually remind us that the love and unity between husband and wife are sacred and beautiful~ an image of the unity of Christ with His Church. Mindful that most couples preparing for marriage have never done this before, we offer these guidelines in the hope that the sacredness and beauty of the Sacrament of Marriage will be ever more apparent, that hearts will be touched by God’s love, and that the grace of God will be manifest as these guidelines are followed.

This is a special time for you as you prepare the many details of your entire wedding day. It is our hope that your marriage liturgy, thoughtfully prepared in words, music and gestures, will be a sign to your family and friends of the faith, hope and joy that is ours in Jesus Christ. As they gather together with you to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage, you will be a sign to them of God’s saving love and generous self-giving in Jesus Christ.

In this document, you will find a brief outline of the major steps you will need to take in order to arrange for a Marriage Liturgy at Saint Patrick Catholic Church. The pages that follow provide additional details and information. A. Contact the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry, Beth O'Leary (910) 323-2410 ext. 133 or [email protected] to check availability of your desired date and time. Please note that all weddings are tentative until the necessary forms have been filled out and approved. B. Canon Law requires that the couple be properly prepared for marriage. In order to do so, Saint Patrick Catholic Church requires that you: a. attend the Marriage Preparation Program sponsored by the Diocese of

Raleigh, or meet with a marriage sponsor couple that the parish will provide to assist you in marriage preparation. b. complete necessary paperwork with the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry. C. Gathering documents: a recently issued copy (dated within 6 months of the marriage celebration) of the Catholic party’s baptism certificate with other sacramental notations included, and a copy of the baptized non-Catholic’s baptism certificate (if it can be obtained) or some other copy of the record of baptism. D. Complete and sign the wedding and financial agreements and return them, along with the required fees, to the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry.

General Information

There are three categories of couples who marry at Saint Patrick Catholic Church. One member of the couple must be Catholic. The first category is our registered parishioners who are active in their participation at Saint Patrick Catholic Church. A parishioner is defined by Canon Law and by Saint Patrick as an individual who has been registered and is an active participating member of the parish for at least the last six months. “Active” means identifiably giving in time, talent or treasure or all three to the good of the parish.

The second category is non-parishioner Catholic status which is anyone not registered here at Saint Patrick, but registered in another Catholic parish with access to a letter from your pastor attesting to your good standing in that parish by your active status.

Finally, we have non-parishioner – non active Catholics who are seeking to be married at Saint Patrick Catholic Church. If you and/or your future spouse fit this category, you are invited to make an appointment to see the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry, Beth O'Leary about your wedding at Saint Patrick as soon as possible.

Policies And Procedures

Selection Of Date and Time-

Marriage liturgies at Saint Patrick Catholic Church are normally celebrated on Friday evenings at 5:00PM or on Saturdays. Due to the Mass and confession schedule on that day, marriages are celebrated at 10:00AM and 1:00PM. A marriage celebration may be scheduled on other days of the week, with the exception of Sundays, as Saint Patrick Church calendar permits. Small weddings can take place during the Sunday Liturgy, with the acceptance of the Sunday readings and scheduled music, no variances are allowed and there is no procession into the Church with the presider, the bride, groom and 2 witnesses will be placed in the front pew. Weddings may not be celebrated on Ash Wednesday or during the Easter Triduum. Weddings during the Seasons of Advent and Lent are discouraged due to the solemnness and the penitential nature of the seasons. Weddings scheduled on the holiday weekends/seasons may have limited participation and availably of parish assistance due to the holiday and personal time away.

Necessary Documents

During the process you will need to secure and give to the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry the following documents: A. Baptismal Certificate- a recently issued copy (dated within 6 months of the marriage celebration) of the Catholic party’s baptism certificate with other sacramental notations included, this can be obtained by contacting the parish of your baptism and asking them to send you a current copy. A copy of the baptized non-Catholic’s baptism certificate (if it can be obtained) or some other copy of the record of baptism. B. Affidavit of Freedom to Marry Form- In the Diocese of Raleigh, Form B. Two witness signatures for the Form B Document must be completed for each person, no matter the age or religion of each member of the couple. C. Letter of Permission- for non-parishioners. D. Certificate of Completion of Marriage Preparation event- There are three elements of preparation, discussed later in this document. E. Marriage License – your marriage license must be obtained through the Clerk of Courts in the state of North Carolina. Out of state residents must obtain a North Carolina license. An application for a marriage license should be made no less than 10 working days nor more than 60 days prior to the date of the ceremony. The license is valid for 60 days. Both applicants must appear in person. (To acquire a marriage license in Cumberland County, you should go to the Register of Deeds Office. The office is located in room 114 on the first floor of the Cumberland County Courthouse. Both bride and groom must provide several pieces of documentation prior to obtaining your marriage license. It would be good to visit their website prior to visiting their office www.ccrod.org/marriage/general_info.html) This document should be given to the Coordinator of Family Life ministry at least 4 weeks prior to the celebration. F. Please discuss the scheduling of your marriage with the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry, Beth O’Leary, 910-323-2410 ext. 133 or [email protected]. Once a date has been agreed on, your marriage liturgy will be entered in Saint Patrick Catholic Church calendar.

Fees

Saint Patrick is a vital parish providing for the spiritual and ministerial needs of its people and the surrounding community. Your wedding fee assists in covering the expenses incurred by the parish in helping you to celebrate your wedding day, and the many hours of priest/deacon and staff time and paperwork needed to prepare and celebrate well the many aspects of your wedding. All of this contributes toward making your wedding day as meaningful and memorable as possible, so your generosity is greatly appreciated. To reserve parish facilities for the rehearsal dinner or reception, please contact Yolanda Flores, parish administrative assistant at 910-323-2410 x 101 or [email protected]. This should be done when reserving the church for your ceremony. There are insurance liability issues that must be met and fees paid for facility use.

As a parishioner of Saint Patrick Church there is no fee for actively participating parishioners for your wedding celebration. Suggested donation to the Church is between $250.00 and $500.00. A suggested gift to the presider is $125.00 to $150.00.

If you are Catholic, but not a member of Saint Patrick Church there is a $25o.00 fee for use of our church. In addition to the fee, a suggested donation to the Church is between $250.00 and $500.00. A suggested gift to the presider is $125.00 to $150.00.

There will be a $225 charge for music ministry of the organist/pianist ($150.oo) and cantor ($75.00) for the day of your ceremony. The organist/pianist and cantor will not be present for the rehearsal.

All fees are due to the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry no later than 6 weeks prior to your celebration.

Wedding Rehearsal

Rehearsals for Friday celebrations are normally conducted on Thursday evenings at 5:00PM and Saturday celebrations are normally conducted on Friday evenings at 5:00PM. The actual time of your rehearsal is established at the same time as your marriage date by the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry. There are exceptions to the rehearsal times if Saint Patrick Catholic Church is being used for liturgy and rehearsal times will be adjusted if necessary, in some situations with short notice. The Coordinator of Family Life Ministry will inform you of any necessary schedule change concerning your rehearsal time.

All members of the wedding party are to be present at the rehearsal. It is important that you arrive on time for your rehearsal and that you remind all members of your wedding party to do the same. The rehearsal is an important part of the preparation for the ceremony. It allows members of the immediate wedding party to become familiar with the environment of our church building and with the public roles they will assume as part of the liturgy. The marriage sacristan directing the rehearsal will give a brief overview of the liturgy to help all concerned understand the prayerful nature of the celebration. Only those directly involved in the ceremony should be invited to the actual rehearsal in church- others should be directed to meet you at the rehearsal dinner site. Those who should be present at your rehearsal in church include the bride and groom, both sets of parents, step parents, etc., bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, readers, extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, and gift bearers. At the rehearsal, a responsible adult must accompany any children who are in the wedding party. Since Saint Patrick Catholic Church’s calendar is routinely full, your rehearsal must start and end on time. Rehearsals are limited to one hour.

The marriage license will be signed by the best man and maid (matron) of honor at the rehearsal. The marriage license should be given to the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry 4 weeks prior to the celebration.

Marriage Preparation

Because of the importance of the step you are about to take, an approved program of marriage preparation is required by the Church. There are three elements of marriage preparation: an instrument, an event and sessions with a priest/deacon or pastoral minister.

1. Instrument- The Diocese of Raleigh uses the Fully Engaged online assessment and subsequent discussion of the results. 2. Event- Once you have met with the Coordinator of Family Life, you will be assigned to a marriage sponsor couple, that will assist you prepare as a couple for your soon to be newly joined life. If you are for some reason unable to work with a marriage sponsor couple you may attend a Fully Engaged Diocesan Program. To view the Diocese of Raleigh’s marriage preparation offerings, please go to their website at dioceseofraleigh.org, to the marriage and family life tab. You will find a list of scheduled marriage preparation workshops and you can register on line for the one that fits your schedule. 3. Sessions- Other meetings with the priest/deacon or pastoral minister, who will be assisting the couple develop an understanding and appreciation of the sacrament, especially the liturgical and spiritual aspects of marriage.

Worshiping At Saint Patrick Catholic Church

The likelihood is that if you are being married at Saint Patrick Catholic Church, you are already a parishioner of Saint Patrick and therefore well acquainted with the way Saint Patrick Parish celebrates the liturgy. This is helpful because a marriage is a liturgical celebration of the Church before all else, not just a personal or family celebration. If you are not a parishioner, we strongly recommend that you come often to Mass at Saint Patrick Catholic Church, so that you will feel more at home here. The months leading up to your marriage are, of course, an ideal time to pray together and to discuss the place of God in your new life together.

The Structure of the Marriage Liturgy

The exchange of marriage vows between two Roman Catholics most often takes place within the structure of the Mass, which is called the Nuptial Mass. There are occasions when a wedding will not be celebrated within the context of Mass. For example, a couple where one is baptized Roman Catholic and the other baptized in another Christian Tradition. In such cases, a couple may decide that since all may not come to the table for Holy Communion, or either the bride or the groom may not receive Holy Communion, it is better not to celebrated within the context of Mass but to have a ceremony instead.

Upon the request of the couple, the pastor may invite the minister of the non-Catholic party to participate in the celebration of the marriage. In this case there may be only one ceremony in which the priest/deacon receives the marriage vows from both parties.

There are those unique situations when a marriage will be celebrated where one party is unbaptized. In such circumstances, the Church respects the wishes of the party who has decided, for whatever reason, not to belong to any Christian Church. However, because of such a decision, the marriage will not take place at Mass.

Normally, the pastor/deacon presides at the parish weddings. Visiting clergy are welcome to participate. Please share this information early in the planning of your celebration, so that necessary documents can be obtained.

Please note, if you choose to have your celebration on a holiday weekend, we may not be able to meet all your expectations and your plans, if support staff will be out for the holiday.

Music In The Marriage Liturgy

Please contact Anne Rogers, Director of Music Ministry (910) 323-2410 ext. 113 or [email protected] before planning any music. As with all liturgies at Saint Patrick Catholic Church, the Director of Music Ministry needs to play an important role in the planning of the liturgical music for your celebration. The Director of Music Ministry will offer recommendations and guidance in selecting music for your wedding. You may bring other pieces for consideration, but please note that the final decision of the appropriateness of this music belongs to the Director of Music Ministry. The Director of Music Ministry should be contacted at least three months before the wedding.

Musical Repertoire In consultation with the Director of Music Ministry, joint decisions may be made concerning the appropriateness of a requested piece of music for Christian worship. Wedding parties are urged to understand that not all secular expressions of love, even when genuine, express the fullness of the Christ-life revealed in the marriage covenant. Pieces neglecting this spiritual content are best used at the wedding reception where it is appropriate and may be enjoyed or other such gatherings. If your selections are not part of Saint Patrick’s music library, it is your responsibility to secure a copy of the music (no illegal photocopies please) for the celebration. Please note that recorded music is not to be used at Saint Patrick Catholic Church.

The Musicians The liturgical norm for Saint Patrick is to have both an accompanist and a psalmist/cantor. The cantor plays an important part in the Liturgy of the Word – proclaiming God’s work in the assembly and leading the singing of those gathered to worship and celebrate. Both the accompanist and cantor are selected by the Director of Music Ministry and will be familiar with the organ/piano and musical repertoire of the parish. If you would like to have a friend or family member sing – in addition to the cantor provided by Saint Patrick Catholic Church – that soloist is welcome to offer solo prelude music or, if you have are having a Nuptial Mass, solo music during the time of the Presentation of the Gifts or at the end of the Communion Rite after the congregational hymn. The Lord’s Prayer is never appropriate as a solo during the Eucharistic liturgy in the Church. The Director of Music Ministry must be contacted and approve of any soloist for the ceremony and the selection to be sung. An additional rehearsal with the accompanist will need to be arranged. Soloists can also be provided by the music ministry.

IMPORTANT: Music is an integral part of the liturgical celebration. Various aspects of our liturgy are meant to be sung. Once a date and time has been scheduled please contact the Director of Music Ministry for help in choosing liturgical pieces for your ceremony. Recorded music is not appropriate on its own or as an accompaniment.

If a couple wishes to add other musicians to their ceremony, it will be necessary for you to speak with the Director of Music Ministry to plan the musicians for your ceremony. The Director of Music Ministry will let you know what the additional charges will be for these musicians.

Couples may wish to print a worship aid to help facilitate the active participation of the people. A participation aid is not a script, but an instrument to help people follow the liturgy and join in the prayer celebration. The worship aid booklet would include: an outline of the service, words and music to those parts which the assembly is expected to sing or say, directions and explanations of unfamiliar items, and an attractive appearance which contributes to the beauty of the prayer. Worship aids must follow necessary copyright laws and are printed at the couple’s expense. Aids are to be reviewed by the Director of Music Ministry prior to printing.

Dress

As you are planning your celebration in a Church, it is presumed that you and your wedding party will be dressed in attire in accordance with the traditions of the modesty of the body for both the rehearsal and the marriage celebrations. Changing facilities do not exist on the parish campus. You must arrive at the church fully dressed on the day of the rehearsal and on the wedding day.

Other Ministries

Saint Patrick Catholic Church will provide all the needed ministers for your celebration. You may decide that you would like to ask a family member or guest to participate in your celebration by proclaiming scripture, altar serving, as gift bearers or as Extra- Ordinary ministers of Holy Communion. These persons should be Catholic and chosen primarily for their ability to assist in the ceremony. It is best to choose people already exercising these ministries.

Use of Food and Drink

No food or drink of any kind may be brought into the Church building. Alcoholic beverages are not permitted prior to the celebration and are not appropriate anywhere on Saint Patrick Campus, buildings or grounds. It is your responsibility to see that this policy is enforced by informing your family and guests. Please remind your attendants not to chew gum, this is distracting and takes away from the celebration. There are no trash receptacles inside the nave of the church, so chewing gum should be discarded prior to entering the nave of the church.

The Worship Space

Flowers Only real, natural flowers, plants and/or greenery may be used in the decoration of the church. The size of the arrangement should be scaled to the size of the space.

Arrangements may be placed on both sides of the tabernacle on the pillars provided there. The flowers placed in Saint Patrick to enhance its beauty during the marriage liturgy are offered as a gift to the church for the Mass all weekend . Please be aware that the flowers will remain in the Church after the ceremony and not taken to the reception.

Altar and Nave of the Church You may use pew bows as long as they are not attached to the pews in any way. No other decorations are permitted. No decorations may be placed on the altar, and no church furniture may be moved without permission.

Seasonal Decorations Flowers and/or decorations are not allowed during the Lenten season. Special seasonal decorations in the worship space many not be changed.

Candles Saint Patrick Catholic Church has a collection of candleholders appropriate to the size and architecture of the building. Therefore, no additional candles or candelabras are permitted. No other paraphernalia is to be brought into the church. The church provides candles for the altar.

The unity that exists between husband and wife in the Sacrament of Marriage is central to the celebration of Christian Marriage. In the Rite of Marriage this is symbolized by the exchange of vows and the blessing and exchange of rings. The bride and groom standing together in the midst of the faith community also serve as a visible reminder of the relationship that exists between Christ and his Church. When marriage is celebrated within the context of Mass, the reception of Holy Communion (which is always a symbol of the unity that exists between Christ and his body, the Church) is an especially important symbol of the unity celebrated in Christian Marriage. For this reason, the Church does not include the so called “unity candle” as a part of its official rite. Saint Patrick Catholic Church does not permit the “unity candle” at weddings celebrated here. Primarily this is so because the above-mentioned elements of the rite are done in such a way that they carry the weight of the symbol of unity. Moreover, in our liturgical tradition, candles always stand as symbols of Christ, and not so much for individual persons. Great care is taken at Saint Patrick Catholic Church so that the central symbol of the rite (the exchange of vows between the bride and groom) does not become obscured by additional busyness. The lighting of candles would be more appropriately placed at the reception.

Rice, etc. Please note: the use of rice, confetti, birdseed, bubbles or flower petals, is considered a safety hazard and is never allowed on the entire campus, inside or outside of any of the buildings. Likewise, aisle runners are considered tripping hazards and are not allowed inside or outside of any of the buildings.

Receiving line and guest book Due to timing constraints, a receiving line after the wedding liturgy is not permitted. Likewise, no guest books or photo collages of the couple are permitted. These can be better displayed and made available at your reception.

PHOTOGRAPHY FOR YOUR WEDDING LITURGY

Because of the unique configuration, liturgical requirements, and lighting of Saint Patrick Catholic Church, choosing a still photographer who is familiar with the Church is very important. Be selective. You photographer is required to speak with the marriage sacristan prior to the ceremony. In addition, he and/or she must remain in place during the ceremony. No flash photographs are to be taken during the ceremony.

Video recording is permitted. The marriage sacristan will assist your videographer as to the placement of their equipment. Photography may in no way interfere with the ceremony- including delaying the start of the liturgy due to picture taking. Video photographers are required to follow the same policies and procedures as still photographers.

You are responsible for making this information available to your photographer. Approximately 20 minutes are allowed for photographs after the ceremony and is adequate with proper planning by the photographer. The ceremony is not re-enacted for photographs.

During many months of the year, outdoor pictures may be taken. The marriage sacristan or parish administrative assistant can assist you by looking at the parish calendar to be assured that the grounds are available and not in use by another group.

THE MARRIAGE SACRASTIAN

The marriage sacristan ministry at Saint Patrick provides a great gift to every bride and groom. At your rehearsal and on your wedding day, two or three ministers will be present. At no time is any other director or coordinator ever allowed to direct a wedding at Saint Patrick Catholic Church. Our marriage sacristans are prepared to assist with everything concerning your marriage celebration.

Before the wedding, the marriage sacristans will:  Assist with boutonnieres, corsages, and bouquets.  Assist the ushers in maintaining an atmosphere of quiet reverence conducive to prayer.  Prepare the altar and sanctuary for the celebration.  Assist guests that may need help.  Direct the bridal party for the procession.  Coordinate timing with the director of music.  Seat late arrivals.

Suggestions you will want to consider as you prepare:

 Include accurate directions with the invitations  Discard all bottled beverages, food and chewing gum before entering the Church.  Include the following reminder in your worship aid Please contribute to the atmosphere of reverence in the Church by silencing cell phones and refraining from flash photography.

THE PROCESSION

The design and layout of Saint Patrick Catholic Church allows the bride and groom and their wedding party to celebrate the marriage liturgy in the midst of their family and friends. At Saint Patrick, liturgies begin with a full liturgical procession which includes the wedding party. We encourage the bride and groom to enter together or with their parents or family representatives. This makes a very strong statement regarding the family unit. Since every family situation is different, we recommend that couples give serious thought early on as to whom they will walk with in procession. The procession along with the structure of the celebration will be discussed when you plan the ceremony.

AFTERWORD

The wedding liturgy is a sacred rite invoking God’s witness and blessing upon the words and commitment made by the bride and groom. In the midst of all the obvious joy and excitement, your wedding remains a moment of utmost, profound worship celebrated by you and your families and friends. It is an expression of your personal faith within the context of your faith community.

Because the sacredness of the wedding liturgy, and out of respect for God and the house of worship which is the church building, a few things need to be explicitly understood and accepted without exception: Saint Patrick Church is not a ‘venue” as are reception halls or restaurants; it is not rented. It is a community of faith in which you are specifically asking God and his Church to witness your promises.

Respect, decorum, proper attire (modest dress) and dignified behavior will be maintained and observed at all times by you, your wedding party and all your guests in regards to the church property and building, the sanctuary and the entire staff.

Planning your marriage liturgy is a chance to prepare a deeply religious experience for you, your family and friends. But remember: good liturgy never happens by accident. These policies and guidelines are meant to help you celebrate well this important milestone. We hope these guidelines help your marriage become a true celebration of faith and assists you in setting the tone for the celebration of a holy event that is of the greatest importance in your lives.

Covid-19 Additional Information

During this time of uncertainty with the pandemic, we have had to make some necessary changes to the Church for marriage liturgies. We do ask all your guests wear masks for their safety and the safety of others. There is spatial distancing requirements in the Church with pews of separation by ropes and also with seating separation with blue tape. This cannot be removed for your celebration and your guest are requested to use these guidelines of our parish.

Wedding celebrations and validations of weddings can take place during our regular Sunday Mass celebration at any of the 4 scheduled Mass times. The couples will sit in the front pew with their witnesses, this pew will be reserved for them. Other guests that may attend your celebration will need find the seating in the Church allows for good site lines throughout the space. Your guest should remain in their pew during the marriage rite as to not disturb other’s prayer during the liturgy.

We do have the ability to livestream your celebration for those family members and guests that are unable to attend due to travel restrictions and health issues. Due to the limited number of people that can operate camera and equipment, if you wish for your celebration to be livestreamed, you must plan this at least 6 weeks prior to your celebration by letting the coordinator of family life ministry your need.

Contact Information

Clergy

Rev. Gregory Lowchy, Pastor [email protected] X 101 Rev. Marlon Mendieta, Parochial Vicar [email protected] X 109 Deacon Vince Mescall [email protected] X 108 Deacon Josh Klickman [email protected] Deacon Gerardo Mercado [email protected]

Staff

Ines Benarroch [email protected] X 111 Brian Cash [email protected] X 117 Yolanda Flores [email protected] X 101 Beth O'Leary [email protected] X 133 Anne Rogers [email protected] X 113 Benny Huie [email protected] X 119

EAO 07/2020

Saint Patrick Catholic Church 2844 Village Drive • Fayetteville, NC • 28304-3813 (910) 323-2410 • (910) 323-3006 (fax) STPATNC.ORG (website)

Guidelines Agreement Form

Name of Groom:______

Name of Bride: ______

Date of the wedding: ______

Time of the wedding: ______

Time/Date of rehearsal: ______

We have read and agree to comply with all the guidelines and stipulations outlined in Saint Patrick’s marriage guidelines document.

We understand that in choosing Saint Patrick Catholic Church for the place of our wedding, we have chosen a religious site established for use in accord with the beliefs and regulations of the Catholic Church, the Diocese of Raleigh and Saint Patrick Parish.

This signed form must be returned to the Coordinator of Family Life Ministry before a date will be confirmed.

Signature of the Groom and date:______

Signature of the Bride and date:______