The Most Common Complaints from Nannies

Tardiness Unclear Expectations

You wouldn’t embrace your nanny’s tardiness and Most nannies will thrive in an environment where your nanny doesn’t appreciate yours either. Nannies the expectations of them are made very clear so also have places they need to be and showing up they always know where they stand. This is why we past your scheduled time is very inconsiderate. It strongly encourage families to have a written and also sets a poor precedent for your nanny. When signed work agreement in place which lists, in you come home on time, you show that you respect detail, the duties the nanny should perform each your nanny’s time and that you value her personal day. obligations. But even when you do arrive punctually, delaying your nanny’s departure is just “I am not a mind reader. I want to please my clients as discourteous. but every family is different and has different needs and expectations. I am comfortable taking initiative “If parents arrive on time but then insist on talking once I fully understand what you are wanting from to us for 15 minutes about the day, or let their me, but until then, I am lost.” –K.S. children lead them around the house to show them things or interrupt us multiple times while we’re “I can’t tell whether the family I work for loves me trying to catch up on the day, etc. then technically or hates me and it is so nerve wracking. If I do you’re not on time, because I’m still leaving 15 something right, tell me! If I do something wrong, minutes late…Also PLEASE don’t encourage a tell me! How else will I know how to do my job child that doesn’t want us to leave by saying things better?” –Amy B. like “Maybe ‘nanny’ will stay a little longer and finish your game of Candy Land before she goes Unrealistic Expectations home if you ask her nicely.” Sometimes we will, but we have lives too and that puts us in an awkward This is a big one. If you have been through nanny position and we’ll look like a meanie if we say no.” after nanny and none of them are good enough, it –Jessica L. might be time to reevaluate your standards. In some cases, parents are far too lenient and they tolerate Unorganized Chaos unacceptable behavior (e.g. texting all day while the kids watch TV.) But in just as many cases, parents Does this sound like your household? Maybe this is set a nearly impossible-to meet-standard, pushing your own “normal” but remember, to an outsider, away really quality candidates. It helps to know the this can be a very uncomfortable situation. current market. Exceptional nannies are truly hard Households with little to no structure make it very to come by. Understanding what’s out there may difficult for even the best nanny to know what to help you appreciate your own imperfect nanny do. Children with little to no structure are equally more. difficult to handle. “I never quite understood when parents expected “My biggest pet peeve is when parents don’t have a me to have the energy, creativity and the patience to schedule, especially for babies and younger constantly entertain their children for twelve hours children. In my experience, when a child has no bed straight without any breaks but when they take over, time schedule or morning routine, it makes it that they only have enough patience to be around their much harder for the child and myself to get settled.” children for five minutes and then send them off to –Heather S. another room.” -M.C.

Unfair or Untimely Pay They were always late in returning my own money to me – and I often had to argue about the Considering how hard great nannies are to come reimbursement amount. Even getting reimbursed a by, trying to get the best “deal” is not always the fair amount for the use of my car and gas became a best approach. I tell families this all the time— problem. I was very sad to have to leave the “Nannies shop around for families just like families position but I needed to move on to a family that shop around for nannies.” – and it’s true. Consider respected me more.” – Christina H. the nannies education, experience, knowledge and your job description when determining a fair pay. Hovering And remember that many families (who you should view as competitors) offer a generous benefits How good are you at your job when someone is packages for their nannies. Even throwing in a few always looking over your shoulder? Many nannies extra dollars or perks here and there to show your refuse to accept positions in which one or more appreciation goes a long way. Your nanny agency parent will be home with the nanny on a regular and the International Nanny Association are great basis. It is an issue brought up over and over again resources for families seeking to understand what is to us. There are likely many reasons for this but typical for the industry and what other families nannies mainly avoid working alongside mom and offer. Paying your nanny in a timely manner is just dad because of past experiences with hovering as important. parents.

“Please pay us on time and don’t make us beg for “Hovering (yet not participating) while I am trying it, especially if we need it at the time and can’t wait to do my job: I understand that parents want to for you to remember it. It’s awkward and we make sure the people they hire to care for their shouldn’t have to feel bad asking for money we are children are doing a good job, but sometimes their owed but we do.” –Angela T. presence is a distraction to the children. Also, I tend to feel very self-conscious when I know I am being Expenses watched, which may inadvertently compromise my work. It’s one thing to work as a team, but No wage earning employee should ever be expected completely different when I feel that I am under to finance the costs of working for their employer. harsh scrutiny.” –Melanie B. That goes double for wage earners who generally live from paycheck to paycheck to pay their own “Honestly, the worst thing parents can do is talk bills. You trust your nanny with your children – down to a nanny and take the work right out of our trust them with a check card or credit card to use to hands. We do our best to adapt quickly to a family’s pay for the things you want them to purchase, everyday routine and learn how they function. But I whether it’s meals, groceries, activities or gas for have had a parents get impatient and take the work the car they use to transport your kids. If you can’t from me while I stand there like an idiot. And then provide a check card, make sure you leave them they proceed to subtly suggest I’m incompetent in enough cash to cover all anticipated expenses – as some sort of way. Thanks for the opportunity to well as the unanticipated things that tend to come voice my opinion!” –Carmen R. up in the course of a week. Be sure to detail your expectations and agreements regarding expenses in Inconsistent Parenting your work agreement so that there is no confusion and there are no misunderstandings. Good nannies will try to be an extension of your own parenting and when possible, implement your “I cared for my last employer's three active children family’s preferred discipline strategies and for a year and I loved both the kids and the parents. parenting styles. But when you are inconsistent, But I declined to renew my employment with them your nanny may have a hard time following your beyond the first year because every week it was lead. Plus, it’s just downright annoying. humiliating to have to ask for reimbursement for the Consistency is everything when it comes to running cash I had to pay to cover their child care expenses. a successful household and raising a well-adjusted child. A lack thereof is detrimental to all parties additional family members come for an extended involved. stay, consider how your nanny may be affected by the change and plan accordingly. An overbearing “It bothers me when I’m told “No TV whatsoever grandmother has the power to totally change a with the kids” but they’re in front of it when I arrive family’s normal dynamics. And it may be more than in the morning…The TV is somehow only the devil your nanny signed up for. This seems insignificant when the babysitter [is in charge]… God-forbid, I but we have seen this happen more times than once. have a mini break during an 11-12 hour day. I don’t laze around watching TV while I’m working, nor do “When in-laws and relatives visit and stay with you, I want to let the kids zone-out on it all day long, but it doesn’t matter how “nice” they are, they’re not it’s getting super annoying how ‘scared’ of it people OUR family and so it’s awkward for us to continue seem to be.” –S.L. having to work while they’re visiting. It would be nice if you took time off to be with your visiting “Inconsistencies between the instructions that family during that time instead of making us work parents give me and the instructions they give their beside them or have to drive them around with us children: It is difficult to establish myself as an everywhere.” -Julila S. authority figure when the parents tell me to do one thing, such as make sure the children stay off Poor Communication computers for the rest of the day, and then allow their children to engage in the very activity the Are you a passive aggressive boss? Do you smile at parent instructed me not to allow. Although your nanny when she enters the door and then talk ultimately it is up to parents to decide what is best poorly about her with your spouse later? Have you for their children, actions such as these ever been unhappy with her performance but never inadvertently establish me as the “bad guy” and shared your concerns? When parents come to us for make it difficult to build a strong and loving advice regarding a “nanny gone wrong” our first relationship with the children.” -Blaine T. question is usually, “When was the last time you sat down for a meeting?” Communication is the key to “I hate when parents don’t back up set any relationship. The one you have with your nanny punishments. Like when the mom says when they do is no exception. You and your child care provider this they go in timeout, but when you put them in should have regular sit downs in which you discuss timeout mommy becomes the comforter.” -Laura S. what is working well and what isn’t.

Pets, Grandma and Dust Bunnies “My biggest pet peeve is passive aggressive mothers. In my career, I have dealt with more than An uncomfortable work environment has the one. I know I did something wrong because she is potential to drive even the best and most patient slamming doors loudly or she is secretly talking to nannies away. You might enjoy being pummeled by her mother over the phone just loud enough so I can your 75 pound husky every time you walk into the hear. The worst part is, is that many of these door, but chances are, your nanny doesn’t. Endless mothers are employers in the work force themselves clutter, dirty bathrooms and foul-smelling kitchens and I know would have no problem telling their may not bother you, but a nanny who is not “real employees” constructive criticism. Why is it accustomed to putting housekeeping on the back so hard for mothers to communicate to their burner may get easily stressed out by having to household employee?” –Christina M. work in your mess day in and day out. Also, when