Hi, I'm ASHLEY 2 HELLO! It’s really nice to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me and for considering me as someone who could be a part of this child’s life.
I know this must be an incredibly hard decision and I can’t tell you how much I respect you for how you’re facing it and thinking about all the possible options. When I think about you and how much love you must have to consider this, my heart wells up with admiration.
I’ve been thinking – you and I probably have more in common than we’d expect. We both find ourselves in a situation that we didn’t plan on and that requires us to make a really big, somewhat scary, choice. While I grew up with several adopted cousins and always thought I might adopt as a part of having a family one day, I never imagined I’d find myself starting a family on my own. I’ve always had a picture in my mind of me and my husband and our kids. There isn’t one big moment that led me to be here, writing to you, hoping to adopt a child. I guess it was more of a realization that maybe life doesn’t have to go in a certain order. Maybe it can zig zag a bit. And, I can wait to meet the right man, but I just don’t want to wait to be a mom any longer.
I know this is a really hard decision. I’m here if you want to talk about it and I’m thinking about you as you try to figure out what to do. Thank you for even considering this option, and for taking the time to read a little about me. with love, ASHLEY
3 my STORY
Born in Southern California, I grew up going to the beach with my three siblings and playing tennis, soccer and volleyball in school. Summers were spent at our family cottage in Cape Cod – riding bikes along the rail trails, catching blue crabs with my dad, and jumping off the dock and swimming with friends!
College led me to Pennsylvania, and after graduating, I had the incredible experience of teaching English in Tokyo for a year. Afterward, I moved to New York City where I worked and continued my education. I loved getting to experience new cities and countries, but after nearly a decade away, I decided to move home to California. Today, I work for a small tech company leading their marketing team. It’s been fun building my career and traveling to new places, but as I prepare to grow my family, I have taken on a smaller role that allows me less travel and more time at home!
I am so grateful for my life – my health, my career, and most importantly my close friends and amazing family. I’ve always wanted a family of my own and while I hoped it would happen earlier, I don't tend to see the world in terms of what I don't have. I see how much I do have and think I am one of the luckiest people, and I am beyond ready to welcome a child into my wonderful life.
4 "I can't wait to welcome a child into my life of adventures."
5 about ME
FRIENDS SAY I AM: Dependable, loyal, funny, always optimistic, and thoughtful
IN MY FREETIME: Much of my free time is spent either with friends or outdoors hiking, skiing, surfing, or running. I also enjoy traveling, and I hope exploring the world is something I get to share with my child as he/she grows up.
MY PASSIONS: I’m passionate about my people. When I’m with friends and family - the people I love - I couldn't be happier! My Bolivian heritage is also very important to me. My grandmother grew up in Bolivia, and I've had the opportunity to visit relatives there. It's an important part of my life that I can’t wait to share with my child!
WHY I WANT TO BE A PARENT: I can’t wait to be a mom! It’s what I’ve wanted most in the world for as long as I can remember. I love thinking about all the things I want to do together with them. I know we'll have amazing experiences together, but I also just like the idea of snuggling on the couch, having dance parties in the kitchen, and watching them learn new things. I can’t wait to discover everything about them - their personality, hopes and dreams! I’m not just ready to welcome in the fun, but I am also ready to be a mom on the hard days and nights. I have a lot of energy, patience and love that I can’t wait to bestow on my son or daughter one day.
6 FAVORITE MOVIES: Top Gun / Shawshank Redemption / Christmas Vacation
FAVORITE BOOK: The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay (about a boy in South Africa)
INSPIRED BY: My grandfather! After he suffered multiple strokes, at the age of 93, he taught himself to walk again. He just loved being alive!
FAVORITE PLACE: Pretty much anywhere with my favorite people, but especially Cape Cod
"There's nothing I've wanted more in life than to be a mom."
7 "I am looking forward to new adventures and building new memories with my child."
8 why i am ADOPTING
I have always known that I want to be a mom, and along with that, I have known that I want adoption to be a part of my story. Adoption has been woven into my life since a young age as I grew up with a lot of adopted cousins, and it was a gift to get to witness their stories unfold. The part of the adoption decision that's hard is letting go, for now, of that image of my husband holding our child. I think that will come though, and in recent years, the image in my mind is of me and my child on our own adventures and now the only feeling I have is excitement. I know I’m ready to become a mother.
I feel confident in my decision to pursue adoption, even as a single parent. I'm lucky enough to be in a financial position to afford to take care of a child on my own, and at a company that’s supportive of families and the flexibility they need. I also know that I have one of the most supportive families and groups of friends I could ask for. They've already shown up for me in so many ways, through support and gifts of baby supplies. I know this will be incredibly hard, but if I'm going to do it alone, I'm beyond grateful for my community of people surrounding me and this child with love and help.
9 my HOME
I live in a two-bedroom, two-bath home in a quaint neighborhood in San Francisco. I recently renovated the kitchen from a small, boxed-in room to an open room with a big island for us to prepare big family dinners. When home, I enjoy cooking, working out in my new makeshift home gym, or just reading on the couch.
I love my neighborhood. My home is just a couple blocks away from some of the most picturesque areas of the city. It's on a flat street that's pretty quiet even though it's walking distance to restaurants, parks and the waterfront. There’s a big shared courtyard where kids learn to ride their bikes and draw chalk murals. My house is right across the street from a great preschool that I would love to send my kid(s) to and one block away from a great park that has a playground, a pool, tennis courts and basketball courts.
I also have a house in Tahoe that I own with my close friend and her family, where we spend winters skiing and summers playing in the lake. Tahoe is a big part of my life, and I just love the idea of having a kid that gets to spend so much time in the mountains.
My house in Tahoe!
10 My house in San Francisco!
"I just love the idea of having a kid that gets to spend so much time in the mountains." 11 "I'm excited to continue these traditions as I grow my own family."
12 my FAMILY
I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family and support system! My parents live in Southern California, and I drive down to see them pretty often. Even though my siblings live far away (on the East Coast), we're really close and manage to get together several times a year. My younger sister has an 8, 6 and 2 year old, and she is very good at making sure we're a part of her kids' lives. My brother has a 19 year old, 2 year old, and two awesome step children. My brother, nephew and I have done surf trips together almost every year for probably the past 10+ years. My nephew is now a professional surfer! My other sister is 15 years older with three kids of her own. I am also very close with my cousins. They just live a few miles away and both have two boys. Everyone is very excited about this baby and will definitely be a big part of his/her life!
My family loves being together as much as we can! We enjoy surf trips, trips to visit my nephew at college, Thanksgiving in Tahoe, and Christmas in very cold Boston suburbs. We also have continued our trips to Cape Cod where we sit on the sun porch and talk for hours, catch crabs, go paddle boarding, and walk everywhere. I’m excited to continue these traditions as I grow my own family. my COMMUNITY
My community of friends and family is simply the best. Everyone has known I've wanted to be a mom for a long time and have been on the ride with me. Most have already given me all the big stuff I need. My friends who live up the street had a baby 3 months ago and we're hoping to do a nanny share together (should the timing work out). One of my favorite moments was calling my closest friends to tell them I put the deposit down to begin the adoption process. Every single one of them cried. They're so happy for me because they know how long I've wanted this and they can't wait.
My family and community contains many wonderful male role models. I admire the men in my life so much - my brother and oldest nephew, friends I've known for decades, and my friends who I co-own the Tahoe house with - and they will all be very involved in this child's life and can't wait to meet him/her.
14 "I have one of the most supportive families and groups of friends I could ask for."
15 16 17 my VILLAGE
I can't think of someone more deserving of " motherhood than Ashley. She has talked about wanting children for as long as I've known her (since junior high). Ashley is an incredibly loving, loyal, honest, thoughtful person. She was a big part of our support network during my challenging path to parenthood and now that we have children, it warms my heart seeing their relationship with Ashley." - COURTNEY (AND BEN)
I have known Ashley for 11 years and I am so " lucky to have her as one of my dearest and most trusted friends. Ashley’s unwavering devotion to those in her life is an example of the type of mother she will be. She will be a patient parent, playing with them and letting them grow and learn in an open and loving environment. I look forward to my daughter and her child playing together and becoming friends for life. " - CC
18 I've known Ashley for twenty years! She is " adventurous, inquisitive, adaptable and - most importantly - positive about everything that life has to offer. I have no doubt that she will apply the same vigor and zest to parenting. She will provide a child a lifetime of learning, fascination and wonder!" - PATRICK (AND MOLLY)
Ashley has been a close friend for nearly 15 " years so I can say, with certainty, that being a mom is something she is committed to fully. I know how much and for how long Ashley has wanted to be a mom. We're so excited for her child to grow up with our son that we have even made sure our new nanny can take on one more baby in the (hopefully) near future!" - LAUREN (AND BOBBY)
I've known Ashley since college and we’ve " spent 20+ summers going to Cape Cod together. There's no question she'll be a devoted mom and will give everything to this child. Moreover, this child will be treasured by Ashley's family and all of her friends. I promise you this child will be so loved by us all. We can't wait!" - TIM (AND COLLEEN)
19 before you GO Thank you again for thinking about this option and considering me. These days the images in my head are of me and this child camping in the mountains together, playing with his/her cousins at the beach, and chatting over dinner about all the funny things in his/her head. More than anything, I can’t wait to hold their hand, comfort them when they need a hug, and cuddle up after bathtime for a cozy bedtime story. I know there will be hard times too, but once this little person is in my life, they are my number one – they’re my person. There will be nothing more important than whatever they need.
IF YOU DECIDE TO MOVE FORWARD WITH AN ADOPTION PLAN AND CHOOSE ME TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH, HERE’S WHAT I CAN PROMISE FOR A CHILD:
• He/she will grow up in a big family of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents who love them (and me of course!).
• He/she will be raised by me, but with the help of a great community of family and friends, including some of the men in my life who I admire so much – my brother and oldest nephew, my childhood and college friends, and the family I own the Tahoe house with. They will teach them all the things I do not know and, if this child is a boy, they will be there for all those times when he might want a man in his corner.
• He/she will see the world. They’ll go on adventures in the mountains, deserts and jungles and travel to famous cities, seeing new sights and learning about different cultures from around the world.
• He/she will grow up with an opportunity to receive the best education possible and follow whatever dreams they have.
• He/she will be so loved. I promise to put them first in every decision I make and will work my whole life to be someone they can look up to.
• He/she will giggle and dance and learn to play sports or music, or just to play. Because that’s what being a kid is all about.
• He/she will never forget where they came from and the mom who loved them so much to make this choice.
I know this is such a hard decision. You and I have both had to do things a little differently in life, but I’m confident we’ll be OK. No matter what you decide, you will always be someone I admire for the strength to consider what’s best for you and for this child. They are very lucky to have you, and I am very lucky to have even been considered for this role in your child’s life. Thank you.
love, 20 ASHLEY