Speak out for Children, 2000-2001. INSTITUTION Children's Rights Council, Inc., Washington, DC

DOCUMENT RESUME

ED 472 729 PS 030 991

AUTHOR Levy, David L., Ed. TITLE Speak Out for Children, 2000-2001. INSTITUTION Children's Rights Council, Inc., Washington, DC. ISSN ISSN-1042-3559 PUB DATE 2001-00-00 NOTE 187p.; For 1999-2000 newsletters, see ED 444 708. AVAILABLE FROM Children's Rights Council, Inc., 6200 Editors Park Drive, Suite 103, Hyattsville, MD 20782 (newsletter included with $15 membership contribution). Tel: 301-559-3120; Fax: 301- 559 -3124; Web site: http://www/gocrc.com. PUB TYPE Collected Works Serials (022) JOURNAL CIT Speak Out for Children; v15-16 n1-3/4 2000-2001 EDRS PRICE EDRS Price MF01/PC08 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS *Child Custody; Childhood Interests; *Children; *Childrens Rights; *Court Litigation; Divorce; Fathers; *Federal Legislation; Newsletters; Parent Child Relationship; Parent Education; *Parent Rights; Parents; Public Policy IDENTIFIERS Coparenting; Marital Separation; Noncustodial Parents

ABSTRACT This document compiles the six issues of Volumes 15 and 16 of the "Speak Out for Children" newsletter, published to strengthen families through education and to assist children of unwed parents, separation, and divorce. The Spring 2000 issue contains articles on Wisconsin's shared parenting law, the U.S. Senate's consideration of a fatherhood bill, and child custody jurisdiction. The Summer 2000 issue includes articles on required parent education seminars in Virginia, the Elian Gonzalez custody case, parent-child communication about difficult issues, and Equal Parents' Week. The Fall 2000-Winter 2001 issue includes articles on child abductions, connections between child support and joint custody, and relinquishing custody to get health care. The Spring 2001 issue includes articles on a compact disc produced to support the Children's Rights Council (CRC), extended overnight visits by infants with the noncustodial parent, and a graduate program on mediation. The Summer 2001 issue includes articles on the myth of the fading two-parent family, and terminology for stepfamilies. The third 2001 issue includes articles on the CRC's establishment of safe havens for children in six states, and parallel parenting strategies in high conflict divorces. Regular features of the newsletter include book reviews, notice of funding opportunities and conferences, news from individual chapters of the organization, descriptions of relevant court cases, and descriptions of pending federal legislation.(KB)

Reproductions supplied by EDRS are the best that can be made from the original document. Speak Out for Children, 2000-2001.

Vol. 15, No. 1-3611, 2000. Vol 16, No. 1-3, 2001.

David L. Levy, Editor

Children's Rights Council

2000-2001

(Y) 04

US. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION Office of Educational Research and Improvement EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES INFORMATION PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE AND CENTER (ERIC) DISSEMINATE THIS MATERIAL HAS KThis document has been reproduced as BEEN GRANTED BY received from the person or organization originating it. Minor changes have been made to _Jam. d Lew y improve reproduction quality.

Points of view or opinions stated in this document do not necessarily represent TO THE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES official OERI position or policy. INFORMATION CENTER (ERIC) 1

BEST COPY AVAILABLY, Spring 2000

Vol. 15-No. 1 ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Assisting Children of Through Education Never-Married, And Advocacy Separated and Divorced Parents Waa a_ A".Alt The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Phone (202)547-6227

IN THIS ISSUE: Wisconsin Adopts Strong Shared Parenting Law The CRC View 4 Now 26 States with Joint Custody Senate Considers Children have won avic- Fatherhood Bill 5 tory in Wisconsin. Starting New Law Presumes Joint Legal Custody Child Custody May 1, 2000, all courts in and Regular, Meaningful Contact Jurisdiction 6 Wisconsin will be required between Child and Parents. to presume joint legal cus- National Child's Day.. 9 tody is in the best interest of The Elian Gonzalez the child and to set as a goal requiring parents to submit parenting plans; Case 10 "a placement schedule that reducing to 1% per month the interest on child Thompson allows the child to have support arrears; Around the Country 11 regularly occurring, mean- limiting the liability for past child support to the Equal Parents' Week 12 ingful periods of physical placement with each time of filing of a legal action instead of the date parent and that maximizes the amount of time of birth of the child; New National the child may spend with each parent." , penalties for interfering with court ordered Organization 12 Additional changes included in a bill passed placement; and Please Help! 13 by the legislature and signed by Gov. Tommy a provision for establishing a study committee to Thompson (R) are: review the role of guardians ad litem. Inside CRC 14 similar treatment of children in paternity Meet CRC Staff 15 and divorce cases (except for temporary ramtders); Continued on page 3 Books Videos, Buttons 16-20 Some Major CRC Please Plan on Attending Accomplishments 21 CRC's 13th National Conference Chapter News 22 Upcoming Events 23 Washington, D.C. Court Cases 24 May 4-6,2001 Congressional Update26 President Clinton 28 Reception at the British Embassy National Affiliate Organizations and to Benefit CRC Chapters 30

5P.) BEST COPYAVAI LABLE "Speak Out for Children" is published by the Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. CRC is a member of Levy. Contributors to this issue: Kathleen Ballard, Don Bieniewicz, Al Ellis, Julie Maggiacomo, Ed Mudrak, John Prior, Paul Robinson, ohn Prior, Ken Skilling, Lenora Williams, and college student interns Tiffany Adkins, Ohio State University; Caroline Cohen, Florida State University; Chi-Chi Nwoko, Montgomery College, Maryland. Layout by Sheila Holzberger.

Children's Charities The CRC of America The Children's Rights Council (CRC) conciliation and mediation for theby CRC may be reprinted without per- is a nation-wide, non-profit IRSadversarial process, and providing formission, provided the source ("Reprinted 501(c) (3) children's rights organizationemotional and financial child support. from the Children's Rights Council news- based in Washington, D.C. We work to strengthen fragile familiesletter 'Speak Out for Children,' Spring CRC works to strengthen familiesof children whose parents are unwed.2000") is given. For non-CRC material, through education and advocacy. WeWe also favor school-based programsobtain permission from the copyright favor family formation and family pres-for children at risk. owner. For further information about ervation, but if families break up, or are Formed in 1985 by concerned par-CRC membership, publications, cas- never formed, we work to assure a childents who have more than 40 years col-settes, catalog, and services, write: CRC, the frequent and continuing contact withlective experience in custody reform and300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washing- two parents and extended family theearly childhood education, CRC haston, D.C. 20002; phone (202) 547-6227; child would normally have during a mar-chapters in 32 states and two nationalfax (202) 546 -4CRC (4272). riage. Our motto is "The Best Parent isaffiliate organizations: Mothers Without With a browser, the CRC home Both Parents." Custody (MW/OC) and the Stepfamilypage's URL is http://www.gocrc.com For the child's benefit, CRC favorsAssociation of America (SAA). CRC's email address: [email protected] parenting education before marriage, Prominent professionals in the fieldsSpeak Out for Children is published four during marriage, and for parents who areof religion, law, social work, psychology, times a year and is sent free to members. unwed or separated. We work to demili-child care, education, business, and gov-Library rate: $20.00 a year. Send letters, tarize divorce between parents who areernment comprise our Advisory Panel. comments and articles for publication to involved in marital disputes, substituting Material in this newsletter authored Editor, CRC.

OFFICERS AND BOARD PARENTING EDUCATION Hon. Sherwood Boehlert Jonathan M. Goodson, President MEMBERS SPOKESPERSON U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Mark Goodson Productions David L. Levy, Esq. President Wes Unseld, VP Washington Los Angeles, California John L. Bauserman,Jr., Chairman Wizards Jim Cook, President Samuel A. Brunelli, CEO Member, NBA Hall of Fame Joint Custody Association Hon. Bob Graham Ingrid Bough-Bell Los Angeles, California U.S. Senator (D-FL) John L. Bauserman, Sr. NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS Teresa L. Kaiser, J.D. Darryl Grant, Washington "Dear Abby" Jennifer Isham, President Judge Richard A. Waldron (ret'd) Redskins Superbowl XVII and (Abigail Van Buren) Mothers Without Custody Lee Yarborough XXII Champion Los Angeles, California (MW/OC) Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author Crystal Lake, Illinois HONORARY PRESIDENT Karen DeCrow Catherine Meyer, Author EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Former President of N.O.W. Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. Wife of the British John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Jamesville, New York Vice President, California Ambassador to the U.S. D. Richard Kuhn Dispute Resolution Institute Elliott H. Diamond Corte Madera GENERAL COUNSEL FAMILY ADVISORY BOARD Co-Founder, CRC Michael L. Oddenino Chairman, Reston, Virginia Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. Arcadia, California Clifton Alan Clark, Sr. Author, Psychiatrist former CRC Director of Phyllis Diller, Comedienne Scottsdale, Arizona DIR. OF CHILD ACCESS Development Los Angeles, California SERVICES Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Alfred Ellis ADVISORS Margorie Engel, president Deephaven, Minnesota Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Stepfamily Association of America DIR. OF INFORMATION Former President, Board of Rabbis James Levine, The Fatherhood SERVICES of Greater Washington, DC Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author Project Ed Mudrak former Member of the Board of The Family and Work Institute Eloise Anderson Directors, New York City N.O.W. New York, New York DIRECTOR OF PARENTING The Claremont Institute Leucadia, California EDUCATION PROGRAMS Sacramento, California Hon. Debbie Stabenow Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. Larry Gaughan, Professional U.S. Congresswoman (D-MI) Salt Lake City, Utah David Birney, Actor Director Santa Monica, California Family Mediation of Greater Hon. Fred Thompson Washington, D.C. U.S. Senator (R-TN)

Page 2 Speak Out For Children*pring 2000 t Wisconsin opposers almost every time. Many Helped Continued from page 1 Using data, personal stories, and support Gain Passage from some of the judiciary, as well as data The Parents' Rights Coalition, along Bipartisan Effort showing that children do better when with Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Succeeded both parents are allowed to stay involved, Families, Citizens for Family Law Re- the legislature moved forward. These provisions and a bipartisan ef- form, and Legislation for Kids and Dads, fort from the Budget Conference Com- worked long and hard from the begin- mittee, "put Wisconsin into a leadership Sen. George Spearheaded ning. role in dealing with the national prob- Effort in Wisconsin Senate ludge James Welker of Wisconsin lem of many fathers (and some moth- for Shared Parenting is probably the most supportive judiciary ers) being disenfranchised from their officer in the state," said Eisenbert. "He children by outdated laws and the gen- helped influence the Wisconsin State der bias which exists in our legal system," Bar's Family Law Section into making Under pressure from lawyers and said Jan Raz, president of Wisconsin Fa- sweeping reforms in the paternity sec- abuse advocates, the Wisconsin Bar Fam- thers for Children and Families, one of tion of this new law Without him and ily Law section redrafted the bill, gutting the groups that assisted the Parents' some of the bar's support, the bill may about 50% of the original bill, and Gov. Rights Coalition in getting this bill not have been signed by the governor," Thompson line item vetoed more, said passed (Raz's e-mail is said Eisenbart. Eisenbart. At best, 25 to 30% of the origi- [email protected]). Eisenbart said there is still no pro- nal bill was left. "It is a start and the new This bill had its origins almost five tection from: law is an improvement," he said. years ago, when approximately 15 grass one parent moving away with the roots groups came together under the children; name of "Parents' Rights Coalition" to Governor Wants courts obstructing or terminating discuss problems surrounding the Fam- Both Parents Involved parental relationships without ily Court System in Wisconsin. These Governor Thompson's press release compelling or significant reason; groups had many separate concerns, i.e., October 22, 1999, stated he was signing and grandparents rights, juvenile justice is-the law because he wanted "major treating children like trophies to sues, paternity cases, single parents, non-changes to the state's child custody law be won in an adversarial process custodial access to children, financialthat encourage both parents to be in- fueled by special interests and child support, court discretion, familyvolved in raising their children." The money. rights, parents rights to help raise theirGovernor said "We need to do more to 'We should enjoy this program, but children, and relocation of children. make sure both parents are fully involved not lose sight of the hard work yet to be Over 16 months and lots of compro-in the raising of their children, particu-done," Eisenbart concluded. mise and discussion, all those left at the larly fathers." table agreed on language and intent of Eisenbart, a CRC lifetime member, 26 States and D.C. the original bill which revamped theand long-time advocate/paralegal for a Have Joint Custody state chapter on family law and some ofchild's rights to be with both parents, is the children's code. According to a 1997 American Bar concerned that the new law leaves dis-Association publication, 19 states plus "Senator Garycretion for bureaucrats and lawyers to George (D) was the District of Columbia have some form oppose shared parenting. He says heof presumption for joint custody, either courageous and others will closely watch how the lawlegal, physical or legal an physical. They enough to spear-is implemented. are Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Louisi- head the drafting Clair Wiederhold, a director of leg- and introduction of ana, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, islation for Kids and Dads, one of theNew Hampshire, New Mexico, Texas the bill into the Sen- groups that helped bring about passageand Washington, D.C. Also California, ate,"saidRobof the legislation, said: "Some attorneys, Eisenbart, presi- Connecticut, Maine, Michigan, Missis- guardians ad litem, court commission-sippi, Nevada, Vermont and Washing- George dent of the Coali-ers and judges already apply many of tion. "When sup- ton. In some of those states, there is a these principles in present cases. How-presumption for joint custody only if port for the bill grew, so did concerns byever, most don't. This legislation should politicians and resistance from other both parents agree. The states that have establish a more uniform, statewide goal added some form of presumption since groups, including Victims of Domesticof securing the best interest of children Abuse Advocates, court commissioners, the ABA report are Alabama, Ohio, by allowing children to have both par-Oklahoma, Oregon, Tennessee, West and family lawyers. Lawmakers ques-ents fully involved in their lives. Wiscon- Virginia and Wisconsin. tioned whether the bill would make toosin has begun to recognize that dads as much of a change to existing law. well as moms count in their children's At public hearings, supporters outlives." Spring 200 Speak Out For Children Page 3 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7 eRe 0 4 Dayee t Zeiset. 0 0 ewe 0 0 0 cant reduction in poverty, because thereason for the new national finan- 0 Levy 0 "Pharaohs" who run programs keepcial child support collection system. 0 losephs"poor peopleuninvolved in Now, 20 years later, despite fi- 0 0 The "Divorce Industry" their own emancipation from poverty. nancial child support collections 0 Results in Poverty for He tells of Washington, D.C., where having quadrupled because of a 0 0 Children and Parents a decades-old law that prohibited "boot-huge federal and state bureaucracy, 0 blacks" from the District was used againstliens, interception of tax returns, 0 I read a book recently about how 0 a black entrepreneur who had set up ajailings, midnight arrests, posting of difficult it is to end poverty because 0 thriving business of shoe-shine standsthe "10 Most Wanted" lists, boot- 0 there is a well-intentioned but mis- 0 throughout the city, staffed by bow-tied guided "poverty industry" that serves ing of cars, etc., the poverty rate for 0 employees, many ofwhom had formerlychildren remains essentially un- 0 to perpetuate poverty through top- 0 down run programs instead of en-been unemployed. changed. 0 In another case, a hair salon whose The 1999 Current Population 0 abling poor people to work toward 0 practice was limited to braiding hair was their own economic self-sufficiency. Report (website 0 threatened with termination because www.childstats.gov), reports that 18 0 It reminded me of the "divorce 0 industry" that is also generally well-D.C. regulations ruled that its stylists hadpercent of children in all families 0 to pass the same cosmetology exams as lived in poverty in 1980, and 19 0 intentioned, but whose result is the 0 continued financial and emotionalbeauticians whose use chemical treat-percent in 1997.51 percent of chil- 0 ments. dren in single mother headed 0 poverty of many children, because 0 As these entanglements with red tape non-custodial parents are seen as the houses lived in poverty in 1980, and 0 show, it is not the race of the "Pharaohs" 49 percent in 1997. The reason 0 problem rather than as part of the 0 but the rules of the game that determinespoverty is essentially unchanged is solution. Many non-custodial parents 0 whether the "Josephs" who want to liftthat America continues to encour- 0 are affected by divorce, and are im- 0 poverished emotionally and finan-themselves out of poverty are allowed to age single-parent families for the 0 do so or not. same reasons that Woodson gives 0 cially by the evils of the divorce sys- 0 The "Pharaohs" treat the poor as cli- tem. for programs designed to aid the 0 ents rather than as participants whopoora bureaucratic indifference 0 Robert L. Woodson, Sr., author 0 of "The Triumphs of Joseph", tellsshould be involved in creating their ownand hostility to involving the people 0 self-sufficiency. affected by government decisions in 0 the Biblical story of Joseph who was 0 Woodson, founder of the National imprisoned by Pharaoh, but when the the own solutions. 0 Center for Neighborhood Enterprise in The child support bureaucracy, 0 ruler had a nightmare he and his 0 Washington, D.C., and a MacArthur " soothsayers could not understand, it family law attorneys, courts, expert 0 genius" grant recipient in 1990, argueswitnesses, sheriff's departments, are 0 was the young man from the dungeon that the healing agents in our culture 0 who was able to interpret it for him all part of the divorce industry. Tens 0 0 and thereby save the kingdom. churches, neighborhood groups, com-of thousands of jobs and billions of dollars are at stake if this industry's 0 Woodson sees Joseph as a proto-munity organizationsmust be un- 0 leashed to go to work where the effortsdominance over children and fami- 0 type of the men and women who 0 battle daily to change lives in ourof government have failed. lies is not questioned. 0 0 poorest neighborhoods. While many 0 0such modern "Josephs" exist, Parents Not Consulted More Awareness that 0 0 on Solutions Children with Two 0 0Woodson argues, their efforts are too 0 0often ignored or disparaged by How many times have separated, Parents do Better 0 0 0 0"Pharaoh's courtiers"the peopledivorced or never-married parents been Fortunately, there is a change in 0 0who have a vested interest in the ex-treated as deadbeats and outcasts uncon-the wind. There is a greater aware- 0 0 0 0istence of poverty and racial tensioncerned with the support of their ownness in Washington and elsewhere 0 0and have drawn attention away fromchildren, and thus unentitled to helpin the country that children do bet- 0 0 0 0solutions to the problem. solve the problem of child impoverish-ter when they have two parents. 0 0 It is no wonder, Woodson writes, ment. Two-parent families, preferably 0 0 0 0that just as the expenditures of billions Reduction of poverty was cited bymarried, but also if the parents are 0 0of dollars has not resulted in signifi-Sen. Russell Long in 1980 as the mainnever married, separated or di- 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 0 0 tom-up, will they involve the very par-0 0vorced, provide the best financial and In other words, public safety, the , 0emotional insulation for children. safety of the average person in the streets, ents who are emotionally and finan-0 0 0 0 Single parents do a super-humanis affected by how we treat families. cially responsible for supporting their0 0job for their children, but generally justThose people are voters, and politicalchildren, or will they become so bu- 0 0cannot provide as much financial and leaders want to be seen as doing some-reaucratic that we will not be able to0 0emotional support as two parents can. thing for public safety. recognize their worth? 0 0 0 0 CRC has helped bring about this Thus, Congress introduces father- I like the idea of this outreach to0 0change over the years, as have manyhood bills, and communities across theparents, but I am troubled by the fact0 0 0 0other people and organizations. I be-country establish fatherhood programsthat the divorce industry still fuels sole0 0lieve a big reason for the change is the that did not exist 5 years ago. In fact,custody adversarial battles all around0 0 0 0research that has piled up like a moun-these are parenting bills and parentingthe country, and that a huge bureau-0 0tain. programs, because the effect will be tocracy still treats parents of separation0 0 0 0 This mountain shows that crime, give children both a father and a motherand divorce as people to be acted on0 0drugs, academic achievement, and ev- in more instances. rather than included in solutions to0 0 0 0ery other measurement of social be- There is a big question, however, asthe problem. 0 0havior by children is improved if ato how these programs will be run. Will Children deserve better. 0 0 0 0child has two parents. they be run top-down, rather than bot- 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Senate Considers $150 Million Fatherhood Bill Senate Considers Bill to Help with Emotional and Financial Support of Children

The Senate is considering a "Respon- million a year in access (visitation) funds sible Fatherhood" bill (S. 1364) that that Congress has provided to the states would provide $150 million to encour- since 1997. age the role of fathers as parents in low- income families and to help fathers bet- Grants Would be for ter provide for their children. Public and Private The Senate bill is a counterpart to Organizations the "Fathers Count Act" (H.R. 3073), Domenici Bayh passed by the House of Representatives The $150 million would be for on November 10, 1999, by a vote of 328 Sponsors of Senate Bill grants to public and private organiza- to 93. CRC Prefers Passage of the House tions which promote marriage through Bill (H.R. 3073). welfare reform and welfare-to-work ini-counseling, mentoring, and enhancing Sponsors of the Senate bill are Sens.tiatives. With many mothers now com-relationship skills. The bill will encour- Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Evan Bayh ing offwelfare, Congress knows that theyage local efforts by requiring that 75% (D-IN). A hearing should have beenmust have the financial help of fathers. of the funding goes to non-governmen- held by the time you receive this news-But the legislation goes beyond welfare-tal community based organizations. Pref- letter by the Senate Finance Commit-to-work incentives, and encourages theerence for funding would go to organi- tee, chaired by Sen. William Roth (R-role of fathers as parents in low- incomezations which promote successful DE). If such a hearing has not alreadyfamilies and to help fathers better pro-parenting, through disseminating infor- been held, it is questionable whether the vide for their children. Some observersmation about good parenting practices, legislation will become law this year.have referred to this bill as a parentingincluding family planning, encouraging Sponsors of the House version of the bill bill, because it will have the ultimate pur-child support payments and regular ac- (The "Fathers Count Act") are Reps.pose of assisting children to have more cess between fathers and their children. Nancy Johnson (R-CT) and Ben Cardin involvement by both parents in their It would assist in aiding fathers and (D-MD), who spoke on the House floorlives. Some services and programs aretheir families to avoid or leave the wel- in November, 1999 strongly in favor ofexpected to reach out to low-incomefare system, by providing activities such its passage. mothers and divorced parents. as job training, subsidized employment Congress is considering this legisla- Previous legislation that helped par.and education to advance job opportu- tion as part of its continuing efforts onents to function as parents is the $10nities and careers.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 5 Child Custody Jurisdiction How to Decide Which Court Decides Michael L. Oddenino

The Uniformare all designed to prevent child abduc-court among one or more state courts Child Custody Ju-tion as well as providing a mechanismhas jurisdiction, or, if more than one has risdiction Actfor determining which court has the rightjurisdiction, which should claim it. (UCCJA) and theto decide a custody case. These laws The UCCJA and the PKPA are also Parental Kidnap-address the problems arising when onedesigned to facilitate and promote com- ping Prevention Act parent breaches another's right to cus-munication among courts which have or (PKPA) are legisla-tody by removing the child from hismay have concurrent jurisdiction. They tive responses to the "home state" or "habitual residence" andrequire all states to honor prior custody Oddenino child custody juris- takes him to another jurisdiction, ororders. A court that receives information diction problem.when the parent retains the child in vio-on possible ongoing custody litigation in The Hague Convention on the Civillation of another's custodial rights or in-another state should communicate with Aspects of International Child Abduc- terests. the appropriate court in that state. The tion is the international response. law actually calls for a judge in state A to The UCCJA began as a model act Determining Which State communicate with a judge in state B. which became virtually universal state Has Home State Status The UCCJA provides subject mat- law. The PKPA, on the other hand, is The primary factor for determiningter jurisdiction and is the exclusive federal law. method of obtaining it in child custody The UCCJA creates a two-prongif a state has jurisdiction to decide a custody case is the "home state" status,cases. Subject matter jurisdiction is de- approach to determining which court termined by statutory definition (e.g., decides a custody case. First, a general where it is assumed that one will find the maximum amount of evidence on thecertain length of residence) and may class of jurisdiction is established for not be conferred by consent of the par- child's interests. The "home state" is the custody cases. Second, the law provides jurisdiction in which the child has lived ties. Absence of subject matter jurisdic- a mechanism intended to vest the right tion may be raised by the trial court to exercise jurisdiction in only one state with his or her legal custodian for at least six months or a state which was theor the parties at any stage of the pro- at any given time. The UCCJA and the ceedings.' PKPA supersede all conflicting or con-"home state" within six months of filing. (For example, if a family lives in state A tradictory laws. Home State Jurisdiction The UCCJA, the PKPA, and the for one year, state A is the home state If Predominates Hague Convention apply only to thosethe same family lived in state A for one who have a right to custody.' Theyear and then one parent moved to state The UCCJA establishes a system of UCCJA and the PKPA each prescribeB with the children and filed in state Bconcurrent and potentially conflicting four bases for jurisdiction: (1) homeafter living in state B for only fourjurisdiction. The bases for jurisdiction state; (2) significant connection, plus evi-months, state A is still the home state).are hierarchical and continuing jurisdic- dence regarding the best interests of the The UCCJA also allows a state to ex- tion always prevails. Home state jurisdic- child; (3) emergency; and (4) default ju-ercise jurisdiction on the basis of thetion predominates over significant con- children having "significant connections" riscliction (no other state has jurisdiction nection jurisdiction. Emergencyjurisdic- or has declined it). The bases may over-with that state. Thus, under the UCCJA,tion will trump either of those bases, but lap, so concurrent jurisdiction is com-even though state A is the home state, it is temporary. Finally, if no state has ju- mon and conflicts of jurisdiction often state B might exercise initial jurisdiction risdiction on the basis of UCCJA or PKPA on the basis of significant connections. occur. rules, the state in which the child and a For example, the "home state" mayThe PKPA intended to eliminate thisparty are domiciled may claim it. not be the same state as the one in which possibility by making the "home state" The law eliminates potentially end- the parties have "significant connections" the exclusive state to exercise initial ju- less procedural custody litigation by plac- and where there is "substantial evidence" risdiction notwithstanding that someing the bases of jurisdiction in the afore- other state had "significant connections." about the child's best interests.2 mentioned descending preferential or- The UCCJA, the PKPA, and theThis is a major distinction between the der and by providing for virtually exclu- UCCJA and the PKPA. Hague Convention on Child Abduction sive continuing jurisdiction in the origi- These laws are also designed to avoid nal decree state.4In addition, to achieve Oddenino is CRC's General Counsel. He prac- forum shopping, jurisdictional compe-fairness and cooperation, mechanisms tices family law in the Los Angeles area. His tition, and duplicative litigation. They es-for communication and for declining website address is www.oandglaw.com tablish a scheme for determining whichjurisdiction were included.

Page 6 Speak Out For Children pring 2000 Continuing Jurisdiction prevails over any other basis] .8 states.'7 The federal felony provides at The court also held that no treaty orleast three affirmative defenses: (1) cus- Once a court properly exercises ju-other source of international law pre-tody or visitation award to defendant risdiction in a child custody matter, thatcludes California courts from claimingpursuant to UCCJA; (2) flight from a state is deemed "the decree renderingjurisdiction in a case properly brought.pattern of domestic violence; and (3) state."' For example, if state A were the California was "home state" and the statedefendant had proper physical custody home state and the judge in state A con- "with the most significant connection" to and failed to return the child for rea- ferred with the judge in state B where a the parents and the minor child and sub-sons beyond his control." parent filed after only four months claim-stantial evidence relating to the minor ing significant connections, and those child's well-being. Some courts construe The Hague Convention judges determined that state A should the UCCJA to apply internationally only exercise initial jurisdiction, state A would The UCCJA and the PKPA are not when a foreign custody order is at issue.' then have a hearing and render a cus- the only laws on international jurisdic- Other states apply the general policies tody decree. Assume one parent contin- tion over child custody. In 1980, the and objectives of the UCCJA to all cus- ues to reside in state A while the other Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects todyjurisdiction disputes, including those parent resides in state B with the chil- of International Child Abduction was in the international context.'° dren pursuant to state A's decree. Two formed to complement our UCCJA and years later the parent in state B wants to PKPA in the international arena." The modify the custody or visitation sched- Child Abduction Hague Convention is different from the ule. What happens? UCCJA and PKPA in that it does not Since the 1970s, the State Depart- State B is now the home state as the create recognition and enforcement stan- ment says it has been contacted for help children have lived there for two years. dards, but demands the prompt resto- in about 11,000 international child ab- State A is the decree rendering state as ration of the custody that existed before the initial and current order was ren-ductions where a parent was involved." the alleged abduction.2° The Justice Department reports some dered in state A. Only state A has the The United States ratified the Hague 354,100 cases of parental abductions a right to exercise jurisdiction even though Convention in 1986. It went into effect year, but fails to identify how many are state B has home state jurisdiction be- in 1988, upon the enactment of its en- international." The State Department cause state A enjoys the continuing ju- abling legislation, the International Child estimates an average of 400 to 500 new risdiction of the decree rendering state. Abduction Remedies Act (ICARA) .21 international cases per year, a number Thus, state B cannot properly exercise This Act provides that it "shall apply to critics charge is avast underestimate. A its jurisdiction unless state A specifically any child who was habitually resident in recent study by the American Bar As- declines to exercise its continuing juris- a contracting state immediately before sociation Center on Children and the diction. any breach of custody or access rights."22 Law shows that in 60 percent of inter-The Convention's stated purpose is "to national abduction cases, the childrensecure the prompt return of children Continuing Jurisdiction in are never returned even though their the International Arena wrongfully removed to or retained in any whereabouts are known." This studyContracting State," and "to ensure that The dominance of continuing juris- shows that parents spent an average ofrights of custody and of access under the diction also applies to international cases$33,500 in search and recovery of their law of one Contracting State are effec- where a custody order has been ren-children, and a quarter of left-behindtively respected in the other Contract- dered under a law consistent with theparents spent $75,000 or more.' ing States."23 The Hague Convention's UCCJA.6 For instance, a California de- UCCJA section 23 provides that theunderlying policy is primarily to ascer- cision decided by a California Family general policies of UCCJA extend to tain a speedy return of an abducted child Court and affirmed by the Appellatethe international arena. The provisionsto the state in which he or she was a ha- Court held that the California courts had of UCCJA relating to the recognitionbitual resident, without undertaking a full jurisdiction, under the UCCJA, to de-and enforcement of custody decrees ofinvestigation of the case's merits. termine the custody of a minor Mexi- other states apply to custody decrees The remedies of the Hague Conven- can national.' The minor, although a and decrees involving legal institutionstion may be invoked when two thresh- Mexican national, had resided in Cali- similar in nature to custody institutionsold issues have been satisfied by a pre- fornia for several years with her Mexi- rendered by appropriate authorities ofponderance of the evidence.24 First, the can national parents. The Court stated other nations if reasonable notice andmoving party must establish that he or that one of the primary objectives of the opportunity to be heard were given toshe had lawful custody rights when the UCCJA is to "avoid the disruption to the all affected persons. The same goes forchild was wrongfully removed or re- life of a child involved in relitigation of the general policies and objectives oftained. Second, the removal or retention custody matters...[0] nce a custody or- the UCCJA and the PKPA.'5 must be from the child's "habitual resi- der is entered by a court with jurisdic- Parental kidnaping is a federaldence." Articles 3 and 5 (a) of the Con- tion under [the UCCJA], that court hasfelony, calling for up to three years im- continuing exclusive jurisdiction [whichprisonment." It is also a felony in most Continued on page 8

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 7 9 Child Custody solved the problem by declining juris- 18. 18 U.S.C. 1204 (1994) provided that the Continued from page 7 diction.); McDowv. McDow, 908 P.2d 1049, defendant make reasonable efforts to 1051 (Alaska 1996) (a court may not notify the other legal custodian of the vention provide that the removal or re- modify another state's custody decree if problem within 24 hours of the end of tention is wrongful when "(a) it is in the latter court retains jurisdiction). his visitation period. breach of rights of custody attributed to 5. See, e.g., Chapoteau v. Chapoteau, 659 19. Hague International Child Abduction a person ... under the law of the state in So.2d 1381 (Fla. Dist. App. Ct. 1995). Convention, 51 Fed. Reg. 10498 (1986); which the child was a habitual resident 6. In re Stephanie M., 867 P.2d 706 (Cal. Department of State, Treaties in Force 1994); In re Fischer, 666 So.2d 724, 725 immediately before the removal or re- 328 (1989); Exec. Order No. 12,648, 53 (La. App. 4th Cir. 1995); Koester V. Mont- Fed. Reg. 30637 (1988). tention; and (b) at the time of the re- gomery, 886 S.W.2d 432 (Tex. Ct. App. 20. See Martin j. Bodzin, Comment, Inter- moval or retention, those rights were 1994) (UCCJA applies internationally as national Parental Child Abduction: The actually exercised, either jointly or alone, far as due process notice and similar re- Need for Recognition and Enforcement or would have been so exercised but for quirements are concerned); Ruppen v. of Foreign Custody Decrees, 3 Emory J. the removal or retention." Custody rights Ruppen, 614 N.E.2d 577 (Ind. Ct. App. Inel Dispute Res. 205, 212 (1989). are determined by the law of the child's 1993) (deferred to Italy). 21. 42 U.S.C. 11601-11610 (1994). "habitual residence," a term left unde- 7. In re Stephanie M., 867 P.2d 706 (Cal. 22. Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects fined in the Convention and in the 1994), cert. denied sub nom. See also of International Child Abduction, Ch. I, United States' implementing legislation, Mendez v. San Diego County Dep't of art. 4. leaving the issue to be decided upon the Soc. Servs., 513 U.S. 937, 115 S. Ct. 337 23. Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects (1994). facts and circumstances of the case.' of International Child Abduction, Ch. 8. Id. I, art. 1, (a), (b); Merideth v. Merideth, United States courts have held that the 9. E.g., Ivaldi v. Ivaldi, 672 A.2d 1226 (NJ. 759 E Supp. 1432, 1434 (D. Ariz. 1991). terms of the Convention are to be con- Super. Ct. App. Div. 1996); Koons v. 24. In re Prevot, 59 E3d 556, 560 (6th Cir. strued narrowly.2° Koons, 615 N.Y.S.2d 563, 567 (N.Y. Sup. 1995). Ct. 1994). 25. Merideth v. Merideth, 759 E Supp. 1432, Conclusion 10. E.g., Black v. Black, 441 Pa. Super. 358, 1434 (D. Ariz. 1991). (1995) (applying UCCJA to international 26. E.g., Rydder v. Rydder, 49 E3d 369 (8th The framework of laws determining child custody disputes and construing the Cir. 1995). proper exercise of custody jurisdiction definition of "state" to encompass foreign is sufficient to answer most custody dis- nations); Dincer v. Dincer, 666 A.2d 281, pute problems. While some judges cre- 284 (Pa. Super. Ct. 1995); In re Stephanie Contact Other CRC ate problems by not knowing or follow- M., 867 P.2d 706 (Cal. 1994); Zenide v. Members by E-mail ing the jurisdictional guidelines, forum Superior Ct., 27 Cal.Rptr.2d 703 (Cal. Ct. Send and receive e-mail from App. 1994); Ruppen v. Ruppen, 614 shopping in custody cases is not nearly other CRC members around the the problem it was before the implemen- N.E.2d 577, 582 (Ind. Ct. App. 1993). 11. Timothy W. Maier, Insight on the News: country. tation of these laws. Armed with the If you are a CRC member, e- knowledge of the "off the rack" dictates Kids Held Hostage, News World Com- munications, Inc., March 8, 1999. mail the following message to of the jurisdictional laws, an attorney can 12. Id. Harry Prillaman, CRC Coordina- provide clients with advice well worth the 13. Id. tor for Georgia, who is supervis- fees charged. 14. Id. ing the email for members. He 1. Johnson vjohnson, 493 S.E.2d 668 (Va. 15. Winton-Ibanez v. Ibanez, 690 So.2d can be reached at Ct. App. 1997); In re Prevot, 59 E3d 556, 1344, 1346 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 1997) (the [email protected] 560 (6th Cir. 1995); Caban v. Healey, 634 general policies of the UCCJA apply in- Dear Harry. I am a national N.E.2d 540 (Ind. Ct. App. 1994); 42 ternationally). CRC member who would like to join U.S.C. 11603(3) (1) (A) (1994). 16. 18 U.S.C. 1204 (1994). the crc-generab@egroups. corn distribu- 2. See, e.g., In re Joseph D., 23 Ca1.Rptr.2d 17. In California, the applicable statute is tion list. 574 (Cal. Ct. App. 1994); In re Marriage Penal Code Section 278, which states of Alexander, 623 N.E.2d 921 (Ill. App. "Every person, not having a right to cus- Call the CRC national office Ct. 1993). tody, who maliciously takes, entices away, at 202-547-6227 or fax 202 -546- 3. Cordie v. Cordie, 538 N.W.2d 214, 216 keeps, withholds, or conceals any child 4272 to make sure your national (N.D. 1995). with the intent to detain or conceal that membership is current. 4. See, e.g., Kessenich v. Kessenich, No. FA- child from a lawful custodian shall be 96053295S, 1996 LEXIS 1517 (Conn. punished by imprisonment in a countyjail We thank Bladen Super. Ct. June 11, 1996) (The fact that not exceeding one year, a fine not exceed- Connecticut had become the home state ing one thousand dollars ($1,000), or both Lithography in and had most significant connection and that fine and imprisonment, or by impris- Gaithersburg, MD most evidence were not sufficient for Con- onment in the state prison for two, three, for providing necticut courts to modify a Michigan cus- or four years, a fine not exceeding ten printing services to tody decree, where former husband con- thousand dollars ($10,000), or both that tinued to live in Michigan. Michigan re- fine and imprisonment." CRC.

Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 . National Child's Day June 4 Join with Churches or Plan Your Own Children's Day Celebration Senator Bob Graham (D-FL) is RESOLUTION again introducing a resolution in the Designating the first Sunday in June of each calendar year as Senate to declare "National Child's Day." the first Sunday in June, as "National Whereas the first Sunday of June falls between Mother's Day and Father's Child's Day." Na- Day, Graham tional Children's Whereas each child is unique, a blessing, and holds a distinct place in the Day is observed by family unit; many churches on the first Sunday in Whereas the people of the United States should celebrate children as the June. CRC and its chapters join in ob- most valuable asset of the United States; serving that date, which this year falls on Whereas the children represent the future, hope, and inspiration of the June 4, because it is nestled between United States; Whereas the children of the United States should be allowed to feel that Mother's Day and Father's Day, where their ideas and dreams will be respected because adults in the United States a Children's Day ought to be! take the time to listen; CRC urges children's advocates to Whereas many children of the United States face crises of grave propor- join in church or synagogue celebrations, tions, especially as they enter adolescent years; or have parties or other events for chil- Whereas it is important for parents to spend time listening to their children dren. We will print several of your let- on a daily basis; ters or reports on Children's Day activi- Whereas modern societal and economic demands often pull the family apart; ties in a future CRC newsletter. Whereas, whenever practicable, it is important for both parents to be in- This is the Senate resolution Sen. volved in their child's life; Graham is introducing, the same as last Whereas encouragement should be give to families to set aside a special year's resolution. time for all family members to engage together in family activities; Whereas adults in the United States should have an opportunity to reminisce on their youth to recapture some of the fresh insight, innocence, and dreams that they may have lost through the years; CRC Needs Whereas the designation of a day to commemorate the children of the United States will provide an opportunity to emphasize to children the importance of * Free office space. Get a tax developing an ability to make the choices necessary to distance themselves from write-off as you help kids and impropriety and to contribute to their communities; CRC. 1,200 square feet or Whereas the people of the United States should emphasize to children the more anywhere in the Wash- importance of family life, education, and spiritual qualities; ington, D.C. area (Maryland, Whereas because children are the responsibility of all people of the United States, D.C. or Virginia). everyone should celebrate children, whose questions, laughter, and dreams are important to the existence of the United States; and A new photocopy machine. Whereas the designation of a day to commemorate the children will empha- Volunteers to help with filing, size to the people of the United States the importance of the role of the child phone calls, and writing letters. within the family and society; Now, therefore, be it Resolved, That the Senate * Our chapters need comput- (I) designates the first Sunday in June of each year as "National Child's ers. Day"; and Lawyers to write CRC Amicus (2) requests the President to issue a proclamation calling on the people of Briefs on appeal. the United States to observe the day with appropriate ceremonies and

Our chapters around the country could use office space, photocopiers, and volunteers, too! Family Facts is not in this issue; it will resume in the next issue.

Springf100 Speak Out For Children Page 9 cal The Elian Gonzalez Case

CRC filed a Friend of the Court briefto his surviving parent, CRC Presidentcussions on the thousand of cases involv- in the Elian Gonzalez case because ofDavid L. Levy said. ing American children retained or ab- the concern over the thousands of chil- The U.S. is a party to the Hague Con-ducted to foreign countries. dren who have been kidnapped by a par-vention against International Parental Benda's appeal to the courts in Ja- ent or who have problems obtaining ac-Abduction, which requires that a childpan to allow him access to his children cess to a parent. be returned to the "country of habitualhave gone unheeded. CRC asked that Elian Gonzalez beresidence." Also, the Parental Kidnap- Benda's heartfelt testimony, in which returned to his surviving parentimme-ping Prevention Act, a U.S. law, requires he talked of the thousands of other par- diately. CRC filed a "Friend of thereturn of the child to the home state orents, like himself, who will be adversely Court" brief with the Federal Districthome country. affected if the U.S. does not follow a "re- Court in Miami stating that U.S. and in- A hearing on Elian was held Marchturn" policy for children, won praise ternational law requires that Elian be re-1 before the Senate Foreign Relationsfrom Hatch and Leahy. But there was turned to his country of "habitual resi-Committee, chaired by Sen. Orrinno indication that Hatch, chairman of dence," which in this case is Cuba. Hatch (R-UT). Most of the invited testi-the committee, will change his belief that That was the decision made by Fed-mony was focused against Castro and hisElian should remain in the U.S. eral District Court Judge Michael K.dictatorship government, but Sen. Earlier in February, Benda repre- Moore on March 22. CRC said the ap-Patrick Leahy (D-VT) asked that a rep-sented CRC at a press conference on peal of the decision should be decidedresentative of CRC testify about ElianCapitol Hill organized by the National while the boy is in Cuba. and other families. Council of Churches, the church group The CRC brief was written by CRC which visited Elian's father and grand- General Counsel Michael L. Oddenino Japan Does not Allow parents in Cuba. Walter was the only and filed with the court in February. Access by Non-Custodial parent with an international abduction Friend of the Court briefs are filed case. by organizations asking a judge to take a Parent Members of Congress who spoke in particular look at a case because it af- CRC recom-favor of re-uniting Elian with his only sur- fects people beyond the reaches of the mended Walterviving parent include Charles Rangel (D- parties in the particular case before him. Benda, head ofNY) and Maxine Waters (D-CA). CRC held two press conferences in CRC's Japan chap- February at the CRC office in Washing- ter, to testify be- ton, in which CRC focused on the rela- causehistwo Danger for Elian tionship between Elian and the thou- daughtershave Psychiatrists have testified that Eli an sands of other families in the U.S. whose been held by theis suffering trauma and that af- children are being held in a foreign coun- Benda mother in Japan,ter 4 months, the trauma may result try by a parent. We also mentioned the who has allowedin permanent personality disorders. many children who are being withheldWalter no contact with the children,The four months since Elian was found from or alienated from their non-custo-Mari, now age 11 and Ema, now age 9,off the coast of Florida expired around dial parents. in five years. March 25. It will be harder to obtain return of But Walter and others are working those children, or to improve access/visi-to change the system in Japan. He told tation/parenting time for children andthe Committee that the action the U.S. See Benda's testimony at parents, if the U.S. does not return Elian takes regarding Elian would have reper-www.senate.gov/-judiciary Beat the Tax Man: CRC General Contribute to CRC Counsel CRC Info Keep working for children. If CRC General Counsel Michael Fax: 202-546-4272 you wish to consider leaving a bequest or property to CRC, please L. Oddenino's email address is Website:www.gocrc.com [email protected] state the following in your will:"I E-mail:[email protected] His website is hereby leave the following to the www.oanglaw.com Parenting Children's Rights Council: (state Website:www.info4parents.com your bequest)."

Page 10 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 Around the Country

Oklahomans Rally for Groups Often on Opposite Sides of the Fence Join Stronger Families Together for Children by Michael Munz The Governor of Oklahoma, mem- St. Charles County Post bers of Congress, state legislators, and representatives of more than 40 organi- Groups that are often on the opposite side of the fence joined forces in zations participated in the third annual March for a "Child Advocacy Day" in Jefferson City, Missouri, the state capital. Oklahoma Pro-Family Day Rally at the About 15 members from the local chapters of the Association for Chil- State Capitol in Oklahoma City on dren for Enforcement of Child Support (ACES), American Coalition for Fa- Valentine's Day. thers and Children (ACFC), and CRC thought they would be more effective if The largest ever Pro-Family Day rally they joined forces. ever, focused on the consequences of "We were talking the same story from different perspectives," said Marty family breakdown and of families that Witbeck, of ACFC, after meeting with Peggy Walker, the ACES coordinator, never form, said Dr. Gregory J. prior to the joint venture. Palumbo, of Oklahomans for Families Walker said that she expected the groups to get a lot more attention by Alliance, an organizer of the rally. He working together. "It's going to turn some heads," she said, "because we're said children, grandparents, and ex- normally at odds on how we want the system to change." tended family members from commu- The changes the groups recommended at Jefferson City included: nities from across Oklahoma and sur- Open access to court records and data based on judges' rulings; rounding states participated in the rally.. Standardized summaries ofjudges' decisions detailing the responsibilities Speakers included Governor Frank of both parents. The summaries should be maintained in the case files; Keating (R), Congressman Ernest Istook Cameras and recordation should be allowed in Family Court in order to (R -OK), Jerry State cabinet Secretary of Human Services Jerry Regier. and keep an accurate record of evidence and decisions; Having all judges elected instead of appointed; Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., of Arizona Setting up a lay review board to review complaints aboutjudges' decisions. State University, author of "Divorced Having guardians ad litem (attorneys representing the children) chosen Dads, Shattering the Myths," who spoke by a lottery system instead of appointed by a judge; about the results of his research. Changing Missouri statutes covering divorce to include the phrase "rights Speakers emphasized how marriage, of children" to help remind judges that children need shared parenting family stability, choices made by young in the majority of cases. adults to have children out-of-wedlock, Scott Field, chair, CRC of Eastern Missouri, and other CRC members, and the adversarial nature of divorce and participated. family breakdown can either increase the ACES can be contacted at 314/947-3922, ACFC at 314/963-5252, and CRC chances of children doing well or doing at 314/963-4668. poorly, said Palumbo. "The community of interests, goals, A Prayer and roles of each organization in pro- Network with moting and strengthening families in Thy Kingdom Oklahoma was also better conveyed than Other Organizations ever before," said Palumbo. and Hold a Rally Let the reign of Divine Truth, The rally received state-wide public- Life, and Love be established in me, ity from print, radio, and TV, prior to, in Your State and rule out of me all Evil, Sin, Dis- during, and after the rally, Like Those in ease, and Death; may thy word en- Palumbo's e -mail is rich the affections of all mankind, [email protected] Oklahoma and Missouri. and govern them.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 11 13 Ewa_HDareants9Week 2©©© Hold a Vigil Sept. 27 at 8 P.M. EST Help Publicize "The Best Parent Is Both Parents"

Equal Parents' Week will be held Diroff said it is important to estab- Equal Parents' Week packages will September 25 to October 1, 2000. lish a national priority which requires abe mailed soon to CRC chapter heads Candlelight Vigils will be held2-parent focus as the national policy gov-and other groups so they can begin or- around the country and abroad onerning all legislation affecting families, ganizing their efforts as well as spread Wednesday, September 27, at 8 p.m.both intact and non-intact. "Requiringthe word to family, friends, and other EST. The vigils will focus on "A Mo-that legislation be scrutinized against aorganizations. ment in Our Hearts, a Moment of2-parent focus is the most effective way Solidarity." to implement a framework that will be Last year, 17 organizations through-positive for children," she said. out the U.S. and three organizations in "Just Say Yes to Joint Custody" will Comments and participation are al- foreign countries joined CRC in observ-soon be available as a new button. "Stat-ways welcome. Phone Patti at 909/591- ing Equal Parents' Week, a number thatutes and judges should require parents3689. email her at is expected to grow this year, said Pattito just say yes' to making a [email protected], or see her Diroff, CRC's Equal Parents' Week na-to doing what is truly in children's bestwebpage athttp: / /membeis.tripod.com/ tional coordinator. interests." pweek

New National Organization to Educate on Parental Alienation

A new nationalMemory Syndrome Foundation. ation Info. Network, 1991). She is organization has Parental Alienation Syndrome is ajoined by Heidi Griffin, J.D., Direc- been founded towell-identified group of symptoms thattor of Legal Research; and Ingrid promote research may occur when a child is taught to deni-Horton, administrator, as well as vol- and education ongrate a parent, often in the context of aunteers and interns. the Parental Alien-high-conflict divorce or child abduction. A reception was held in late Feb- ation Syndrome. Observers credit Richard Gardner withruary to introduce the Foundation The non-profitfirst identifying and defining the Syn- to individuals and groups interest in Stuart-Mills organization, called drome. the PAS. "There is widespread posi- the Parental Alien- The Foundation will work to fostertive response to this new national or- ation Syndrome Research Foundation, and promote research and educateganization devoted to scientific re- is based in Washington, D.C., just ajudges, professionals and the public onsearch and reintegration of alienated few blocks from the White House. how to recognize and treat PAS, said the children and families," said Stuart- The PASRF boasts a high-pow-Foundation's Executive Director, Mills. ered Scientific Advisory Committee,Pamela Stuart-Mills. Particular empha- For more information, contact including many of the world's best-sis will be placed on developing proto-the PAS Research Foundation, at 816 known experts and authors on PAS.cols for treatment, especially reintegra-Connecticut Avenue N.W., 9th floor, These include, among others, Stanleytion of children with the "hated" parent,Washington, D.C. 20006, phone Clawar and Brynne Ruvlin, Richardan area where little research exists, treat-202/466-7778, fax 202/466-7779, A. Gardner, Deirdre Conway Rand,ment protocols are at best ineffective,e-mail: [email protected]. Richard Warshak, Douglas Darnall,and can even worsen the situation, said Parental alienation must be dis- as well as Judge Vernon Nakahara, Stuart-Mills. tinguished from parents who are pro- California Attorney Patrick Clancy, Stuart-Mills is well-known in this field tecting their children from harmful and Pamela Freyd of the Falseas the founder of PAIN (Parental Alien-conduct by the other parent.

Page 12 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 6. 71 lease Hell? Y, Please photocopy or retype this letter An anti-joint custody provision origi- and send to your House member. nally appeared in Section 241 of H.R. 3514, the Violence Against Women Act Get your friends to write, also! (VAWA) II and a 1998 House Joint Reso- lution (1-IJR 182), which thanks in part to efforts of CRC members was not adopted. Date A similar anti shared parenting provision Your address was re-inserted in the 1999 version of the Violence Against Women Act, H.R. 357, Congressman (add name) introduced by Rep. John Conyers (D- U.S. House of Representatives Mich) and supported by 178 co-sponsors. Washington, D.C. 20515 CRC members were urged to write to Congress opposing the "primary care- Dear taker" parent language in Section 241. So many of you wrote in opposition I ask you to please oppose Title VI, Sec. 601 of H.R. 3315 (The Ready to that antijoint resolution, that opponents Actreducing the Effects of Abuse and Domestic Violence on Youth). I am of shared parenting have now "watered concerned that the language of the resolution might mistakenly convey an down" the anti-joint custody resolution. impression to federal, state, or local policymakers that domestic violence We must oppose that resolution, also, but shares a link in some manner with shared custody. first let us explain that CRC is very con- This would be a terrible disservice to all children at risk from family vio- cerned about family violence, and the lence. There is abundant evidence that the great majority of child victims of need to prevent it and treat it. Family vio- physical abuse and neglect live in single parent homes. By contrast, the inci- lence is not acceptable. CRC works with dence of child abuse and neglect of children in shared legal and physical advocates to prevent and reduce family violence. Researchers have found, however, custody arrangements is very low. Children raised without their fathers as that there is no link between shared well as mothers are twice as likely to be victims of abuse and five times as likely parenting and family violence. Quite the to live in poverty compared to children both of whose parents, dads and reverse. Family violence, as well as other moms, participate in the parenting process. societal problems, including high crime The language of the resolution is over-broad. and drug rates, lower academic perfor- The use of the terms "history of domestic violence" and "abuse" might be mance, teenage suicide, promiscuity, and subject to overly-expansive interpretation. States should design their own other society problems, are linked to a specific, detailed statutory criteria narrowly tailored to those limited instances different kind of family structurethe in which shared or joint custody would be inappropriate. single parent family. For example, although the District of Columbia starts with a presump- Many children of single-parent house- tion for joint custody, there is an exception in those instances where a judi- holds turn out fine, but statistically, anti- cial officer finds by a preponderance of the evidence that an intra-family social behaviors have been linked for the offense as defined in the D.C. Code has taken place. past 30 by all researchers to a lack of two Most parents are loving and fit, and thus shared parenting should not be parents in a child's life. As just one ex- discouraged, even through a well-intended resolution. ample, the 6 year old boy who shot and killed a 6 year old girl in a school in Michi- gan was growing up a crack house with- Sign your name out either his father or his mother. The watered down version of the anti joint custody resolution in H.R. 3315 states: Get a 3.9 percent CRC Credit Card It is the sense of Congress that for the purpose of determining child custody, it Get the CRC VISA Credit Card, and obtain a low 3.9 percent introductory is not in the best of children to: rate. The credit card displays the CRC logo, and CRC receives a small contri- 1) force parents to share custody over bution every time you use the card. CRC receives more if you break up a large the objection of one or both parents where purchase into several small purchases. For an application, contact CRC, or there is a history of domestic violence; or call MBNA at 1-800-523-7666. If you have trouble obtaining approval, con- 2) make "friendly parent' provisions tact CRC; we can't guarantee approval, but we will gladly try. a factor when there is abuse of one parent against another or a child. Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 13 15 Inside CRC

Cathrine. Meyer Teresa Kaiser NewCRC child support directorsin Receives Award Board Member recommending that Congress focus on cases with collections, not the previous requirement that the CRC's Honor- CRC is pleased ary President to announce that state collect the highest amount possible, evenif Catherine Meyer Teresa L. Kaiser, the it meant has received the head of the impoverishment for the payor. Adam Walsh Rain- Maryland Child Now, if a state can collect current support owed plus $1, this case bow Award from Support Office, has the National Center been elected as a satisfies requirements for the for Missing and Ex- member of CRC's states' performance-based ploited Children Board of Directors. incentive payments from the Meyer Kaiser federal government. andthe Adam Teresa has long Kaiser has spoken at past CRC con- Walsh Children's Fund. fought for emotional as well as financial The Rainbow Award ceremony eachsupport for children. Some of her ac-ferences. Her office sponsored a display year recognizes distinguished leaderscomplishments: from her Child Support Office at CRC's whose efforts have made a different for When she was head of the Idaho 1999 conference that showed a father children. Child Support Office, and Idahoand mother both involved in a child's life.' The rainbow is a symbol of hope, was considering license and was a prominent feature of Adam revocation, she recommended "The best possible result for children Walsh's last drawing. Adam was 6 years that Idaho also suspend licensesis the involvement of both parents in old in 1981 when he was abducted by a for interference with accesstheir lives," she said. "I am honored to stranger outside a shopping center in visitation, and the balanced lawbe a board member of CRC in order to Hollywood, Florida; his body was found was passed. (Iowa became thepromote parental involvement in children's lives. 2 weeks later. second state to provide for license revocation for access Kaiser, an attorney, is the mother of interference). Teresa also headedthree daughters, and the sister to five Meyer is Honored for the Missouri child support officebrothers. Her children are Bridget, who Her Work on Behalf of before being tapped for theis also an attorney, Rosemary, and Micaela. Missing and Exploited Children Maryland director's job. She is one of the first state child support directors to implement Eloise Anderson "forgiveness" for past due child Newest CRC Advisor The Adam Walsh Children's Fund supportinexchangefor is part of the National Center for Miss- participation in a targeted California De- ing and Exploited Children. program, such as employment partment of Social Catherine Meyer was one of eight search program, substance abuse Services, who is people, public and private sector lead- treatment, or other programs to now Director of the ers, local, national, and international, help parents get a job, pay their Program for the who were honored at the awards cer- American Family, emony in Florida on February 25. Claremont Insti- Lady Meyer, whose two children areFirst Child Support Director Elected tute, Sacramento, being held in Germany by the children's to CRC Board California, is the Anderson father, has not been allowed by the fa- newest member of ther to have contact with the children CRC's Family Advisory Board. for the past 5 years. She has publicized financial support, and get Advisors make recommendations to the plight of internationally abducted connected to their children. CRC from time to time on what they children in Congressional testimony and This "forgiveness" program wasthink the direction of CRC should be. in appearances around the country. authorized by Federal Child When she was Director of Social She authored the book "They Are Support Commissioner DavidServices in California, she would often My Children, Too," and is the wife of Gray Ross; talk to mothers in welfare offices, and if the British Ambassador to the U.S. She helped lead the way amongthey seemed able-bodied, she would ask

Page 14 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 6 d' Why don't you have a job?, why aren't you working to become self-sufficient? Where is the child's father? The Year 2000 is CRC's 15th Anniversary Favors Self-Sufficient We appreciate everyone who has worked for children and CRC. We Two-Parent Families thank all those who have enabled CRC to improve the lives of children and families. So many have given so much, of their time, efforts, and financial Eloise's bold, pro 2-family approach contributions. drew national attention, including an appearance on CBS's "60 Minutes" For the year 2000, CRC has three new levels of support of CRC. They where she was shown asking mothers the ares: above questions. * A PLATINUM LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $5,000 or more Eloise spoke at a past CRC confer- * A GOLD LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $2,500 to $4,999. ence. * A SILVER LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $1,000 to $2,499. She is an advisor to the Bush cam- * A LIFE MEMBER is one who donates CRC $500 to $999. paign on family issues. Eloise is the mother of two grown children, a son Anyone who has contributed to CRC in the past may increase the dona- and a daughter. tion to reach any of the life member levels. If you are unsure about your previous donation level, contact CRC, and we would be glad to let you know. Thank you.

Meet the CRC Staff

Al Lonnie LaShahn (left) and Mattie Julie ChiChi(left) and Caroline LaJuan

Alfred L. Ellis is CRC's Director ofcourse, open to anyone for viewing.ministrative assistant, who runs a Child Access Services. He super-Lonnie has something in common with small ministry that helps feed the vises the six child access centers CRC CRC Board member Sam Brunellihehomeless on Capitol Hill, in Wash- has established in Prince George's,is a former football player for the Den-ington, D.C. Anne Arundel and Montgomeryver Broncos. But Lonnie was also a run- Julie Maggiacomo is a long-time Counties in Maryland, and Fairfaxning back for the Chicago Bears and the CRC volunteer. She works from her County, Virginia. Al has 3 childrenWashington Redskins. He is married and home. and 3 stepchildren with his wife Mary.has 5 children. Lenora Williams is a volunteer in Lonnie Perrin, who has worked LaJuan Ayers has been CRC's book-the CRC office two days a week; for 15 years with young parents in thekeeper for almost two years. She has two Kamilah, the daughter of Lenora and Washington, D.C. area, is supervisingsons, Antonio and Robert. her late husband, is in her second CRC's new website, www.Info4Parents, I aShahn Ayers, LaJuan 's identicalyear of law school. which is primarily to provide informa-twin sister (they even dress alike) is a part- Caroline Cohen, ChiChi Nwoko, tion, resources and referrals for never-time administrative assistant. and Tiffany Adkins are Spring, 2000 married parents; but the site is, of Rev. Mattie Nance is a part-time ad- college student interns.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 15 17 ChEldreires IRights Coulurnell 2000CATALOGOF RESOURCES fEcDrr paunernts small pircofFcessiicDimalls MANY BOOKS DISCOUNTED! Buy at Discount 8c Sell for Full Price to Your Group Make $$$ or Give Copies to Educate Judgesor Policymakers Discounted Books Are in Boldrrype

BOOKS FOR KIDS BOOKS FOR PARENTS NEW! 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co- A Heart Full of Love, written by Bette S. Margolis, illus- parents and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, trated by Christie L. Kline. A wonderful book for that spe- and Step-family situations. cial 7- to 9-year-old in your life who is undergoing parental SB-201 $9.95 divorce. SB-101 $15.00 Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. HB-203 $6.00 HB-102 $16.95 The Divorce Help Source Book, by Margorie Engel, Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by CNN's Larry King and 1994. Combines sound advice with hundreds of poten- Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both tial sources of help to assist you in getting the results a child's and a father's perspective. you deserve. SB-103 $12.95 SB-204 Reg. $17.95 *Discount Price $7.00 Howto Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad- Divorced Dads, Shattering the Myths, vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. The sur- one-of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents DIVORCEDprising truth about fathers, children and as they reshape their lives post-divorce. divorce. SB-104 Reg. $9.95 *Discount Price $4.00 DADSHB-205 $24.95 I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps 5HATTERINOE MYTHS For the Sake of the Children, by Kris children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative 41011 111,,I, 041.1., Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. how to share your children with your ex-spouse de- SB-105 $4.95 spite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, HB-206 Reg. $18.95 *Discount Price $9.00 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be better than one. Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. SB-106 $12.00 Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by impact of divorce on children through different stages Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help of their lives. SB-207 children understand divorce and sends a Reg. $22.50 *Discount Price $5.00 good message. SB-107 $5.99 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par- ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate hon- gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as est and open communication between adults and children partners, not enemies. at the traumatic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for SB-208 $23.00 kids. SB-108 $15.95 The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- Area Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where Body for Boys." parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. SB-109 Reg. $11.95 *Discount Price $6.00 HB-209 $23.00 1.8 A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A bookFamilyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communi- the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. cating values. SB-210 Reg. $10.00 *Discount Price $5.00 HB-220 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $10.00

Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc-The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own re- Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC search, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) information. for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 SB-211 Reg. $22.95 *Discount Price $10.00 each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for REVISED! $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their to this classic book! names). SB-212 $20.00 SB-221 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 Individual copies $10.00 Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995.Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nation- realized, strengthen families and relationships. ally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. SB-213 $14.00 HB-222 $25.00

REVISED! Friends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne daughters. Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough HB-227 $29.00$ Parenting" and "Winning the Custody War Without Casual- ties" SB-218 $24.95 Talking Back to Ritalin, by Peter R. Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. tt What doctors aren't telling you about the dan- 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, gers of stimulants. 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- tt('4,,71;HB-228 $25.00 pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. 4L k HB-219 $19.50 BOOKS FOR STEPPARENTS The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, MAKING IT As How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. rEPPAREN't i§:11Till-ria i Visher, Ph.D. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. HB-506 $19.95 The co-founders of the Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and give sug- Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to gestions on how to make stepfamilies work. Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M. HB-301 $13.95 Berger, 1996. ISEHNIANI SB-507 $22.00 Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/ Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, New Rules, by Claire Berman, 1986. Former president 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical and desires. help and insights. SB-509 Reg. $5.99 *Discount Price $3.00 SB-302 $7.95 ra [hers'Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-sell-

Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Mala Burt for A01111.1.1.10...1. ing book for fathers who want to maintain contact the Stepfamily Association of America. assnagutra. with their children. SB-303 $9.95 SB-510 $12.50 BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS The Divorced Parent: Success Strategies for Raising Your Children After Separation, by Grandparenting in a Changing World, by Edna Stephanie Marston, 1994. Provides practical advice and LeShan, 1997. "Common sense presented with uncom- specific tools for raising well-adjusted children. mon grace." -Kirkus Reviews. HB-511 $21.00 SB-401 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wise notes from a new dad in the real world. BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS HB-512 Reg. $22.00 *Discount Price $11.00 Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A Journey, by CRC's own Serge Prengel, collection of stories on being a man at midlife in 1998. Published with praise from Warren America, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. Farrell, Karen DeCrow, and James A. Cook. HB-513 Reg. $21.95 *Discount Price $11.00 SB-2501 $13.95 Ch Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster ,IC *0' v Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about Surviving Divorce-Women's Re- Nitrk child custody and child support for a single uno sources After Separation, by Mavis Maclean, 1991. 01111e4 parent. Women coping with earnings, maintenance and welfare in SB-514 $21.95 the U.S., France, and Great Britain. MUM WAINIR HB-502 $5.00 The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Card, 1996. A plan for managing your money when you are the only Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story, by one your family can count on. John Thorndike, 1996. A memoir of Thorndike's life with SB-515 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price $6.00 his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make regarding their son's life. Questions from Dad, by CRC Spokesperson and pop singer Dwight Twilley, 1994. A very cool way to communi- HB-503 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $12.00 cate with your child. Introduced by Dr. Susan Forward. SB-516 Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. $17.00 Shows the devastating consequences of fatherlessnessI Am the Mother of Sons. Poems by Jayne Jaudon Ferrer, in both individual families and in our society. 1996. Illustrated by Lina Levy. HB-504 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 HB-517 $10.00 The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu-Men on Divorce-The Other Side of the Story, ed- linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents the argu- ited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Spano, 1997. ment that American men are in crisis and includes what SB-518 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 lead to this phenomenon. One Swell Dad, by Pat Ross, 1992. The book of memories HB-505 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 and expressions of fatherly endearment from the past. HB-519 $9.00 2 MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce/Custody Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Law- yers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Subculture of Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights of Wil- 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase sys- liams Dawes, Esq., 1997. tem to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom SB-707 $15.00$ litigation. HB-601 $45.00 Every Parent's Guide to the Law, by Deborah L. Forman. Everything you need to know about legal issues Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults affecting parents and children pre-birth through the child- Recover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., rearing years. CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth SB-708 $18.00 Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-602 $15.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING

Parent Vs. Parent: How You and Your Child CanNEW! Autographed Copies! Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman, They Are My Children, Too, by Catherine Meyer, 1999. M.D., 1990. Expert advice for parents through all stages of Powerful account of a mother's loss of her children. A case the divorce process. of international parental kidnapping. Written by CRC's new HB-603 $20.95 Honorary President. $23.00 Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized HB-801 Divorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca fundamental skills of negotiation conflict resolution Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents and mediation, for everyone's good. searching for their children and abductors who have taken SB-604 Reg. $13.95 *Discount Price $6.00 them; also makes public policy recommendations. HB-902 $22.95 LEGAL ISSUES CHILD ABUSE NEW! Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong, From Courtship to Courtroom: What 1996. False accusations of child abuse: A road map for Divorce Law Is Doing to Mariage, by survivors that helps to answer their questions. Jed H. Abraham, 2000. Abraham, a lawyer, SB-901 $15.95 mediator, and joint custody advocate, writes a chilling picture of how today's divorce laws make life miserable for families. The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A SB-701 $15.00 guide for mental health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authorita- A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, tive work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome. 1997. A discussion of a divorced father's SB-903 $35.00 struggle with the child custody industry. Children Held Hostage, Dealing with HB-703 Reg. $21.00 Programmed and Brainwashed Chil- *Discount Price $10.00 dren, by Stanley S. Clawar, Ph.D., C.C.S. and Brynne Rivlin, M.S.S., 1991. This book is approved by the Ameri- The Custody Revolution, by Richard can Bar Association. Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and the SB-904 $50.00 Motherhood Mystique. HB-604 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $15.00Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D., a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. A Custody for Fathers, by Car leen and Michael Brennan, comprehensive guide to recognizing, preventing, and han- 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have dling child abuse and neglect. helped fathers win (share) custody of their children in SB-905 $12.00 a mom-biased system. HB-705 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $12.00The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gelles, 1996. A con- J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- tem and its effects on divorcing couples. fare system. HB-706 $10.95 HB-906 $23.00 The Abuse ExcuseAnd Other Cop-Outs, by noted PINS AND BUTTONS lawyer Alan Dershowitz, 1994. Sob stories and evasions of responsibility. The famous "Children First" HB-908 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 pin. 8 colors, with figures of seven children standing on VIDEOS a field of green with logo "ChildrenFirst."Two Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" wide Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- P101 $8.00 perience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- award winning video prepared by CRC's National Parent Button created by Patti Diroff that says Education Director. "Child support is more than a check, it's V101 $25.00 being a parent." With CRC logo, including children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2-1/4" di- Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- ameter. B202 $2.00 ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. V102 $20.00 T-SHIRTS CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- Stop Crime, Give Children 2 Par- tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, ents" Specify size: child S, M, L; M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- Adult S, M, L, XL. Specify color: ate the child against the other parent. white or blue. V103 $25.00 $10 adults, $8 children REPORTS

UPDATED 1997, Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. R101 $10.00 Send for a list of other reports.

IT0 CI 0 0 0 0 = I= CI CI CI 1= 1= 0 = = = = CI CI I= CI 0 0 CI0 0 = CI CI CI 0 CI 0 0 0 I= 0 CI Order Form

Title Total enclosed Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp. date Title Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP: 111 0 I= CI 0 0 0 CI 0 CI CI I= 0 0 CI 0 0 1=1 CI CI t= 0 I=1 CI CICI 0 CI CI I= 0 CI I= 0 0 0 CI = 0 0 11 Page 20 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 r Same Major CRC AconTraplIfishmeinits

CRC was founded in 1985. This is CRC's 15th year (2000), so perhaps it is time to reflect on CRC's accomplishments=none of which would be possible without our members and supporters, and a little help from the Almighty.

1985. Under our original name, National Council for 1991. Published first annual edition of Parenting Di- Children's Rights, formed a nationally prominent Advi- rectory, iisting more than 1,000 groups across the coun- sory Panel, including "Dear Abby," U.S. Senators and try that can help parents. Representatives, representatives of Mothers Without 1993. Changed our name to "Children's Rights Coun- Custody, Stepfamily and Grandparents groups, research- cil" to put children first. Published CRC book "The Best ers and writers on family issues. Parent is Both Parents" (Hampton Roads Publishing Co.) 1985. Sought Congressional authorization for the 1994. The federal government published the CRC establishment of access (visitation) staff throughout the Model Child Support Guideline authored by CRC mem- country to informally help children gain access to their ber Don Bieniewicz in its publication called "Child Sup- non-custodial parents. port Guidelines: The Next Generation." 1986. First of 12 CRC national conferences, which 1995. Published first annual "Top 10 States to Raise bring together researchers and writers, CRC members, a Child" report, which has received increasing national and policymakers from the U.S. and abroad. media attention over the years. 1986. CRC testified orally for the first of 20 times 1995. Helped with Congressional establishment of before Congressional committees. Submitted the first National Commission on Child and Family Welfare, of 40 written statements for the record in other Congres- which after deliberations, recommended more media- sional hearings in favor of access (visitation) policies and tion, unified courts, parenting plans. programs, joint custody (shared parenting), welfare re- 1996. Results of 1988 access demonstration grants form that would encourage 2-parent families, mediation, were so positive that Congress, in the 1996 Welfare Re- and implementation of the Hague Convention Against form Act, provided $10 million a year in access grants for International Parental Kidnapping. all 50 states and territories to share in. 1987. CRC held a rally in front of the Capital, the 1996. Helped obtain passage of presumption for joint first of various rallies, Candlelight Vigils, award break- legal and physical custody in the Nation's Capital, as chap- fasts, and awards for "Best in Media," "Healer Awards" ters made strides in changing laws and attitudes in their and "Parenting Awards" given over the years. respective states. 1988. Filed the first of 20 amicus curiae (friend of 1997. CRC and its chapters started receiving access the court briefs) in support of a child's right to two par- grants, which total $355,000 in four states (Illinois, Ne- ents. The first brief, filed before the U.S. Supreme Court, braska, NewYork, Maryland) and Washington, D.C. pro- asked the court to upholdwhich it did, by a narrow 5- viding mediation, parenting education, parenting plans, 4 majority, the right of an unwed biological father of a neutral drop-off and pick-up of children, supervised ac- child to a hearing to determine if he should have visita- cess, hotlines. Some parents are seeing their children tion rights. for the first time in these programs. 1988. After 3 years of advocacy by CRC on Capitol 1998. Located data from the Census Bureau and Hill, Congress provided in the Family Support Act of National Center for Health Statistics that the states with 1988 for access (visitation) demonstration grants in 6 the highest amount of physical joint custody in 1989 and statesIndiana, Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Massachusetts, 1990 had subsequently the greatest decline in the divorce Arizona. Mediation, counseling, and telephone moni- rate. The reason seems to be that when parents know toring were tried. they will have to interact with the other parent, there is 1989. Published the first of more than 75 evaluations less incentive to divorce. of research reports over the years. The first report showed 1999. Led successful effort for a second year in a row that fathers were paying up to 35% more in child sup- to defeat an anti joint custody (shared parenting) reso- port than federal figures had previously reported. lution in the House. 1990. Welcomed the first of 38 chapters in 32 states, 1999. Assisted in advocating for passage of the "Fa- Washington, D.C. and Japan. thers Count" bill in the House.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 21 23 Chapter News A Way to Adjust the Guideline Ohio Opens Child Exchange Center in Toledo Ask a state agency working on child support guidelines in your "The Gift Exchange" is the name of the brand-new state to invite Don Bieniewicz, CRC's child transfer center recently opened by CRC of Ohio. expert on guidelines, to tes The center, located at St. James Lutheran Church in Asking Bieniewicz to testify Toledo, will provide for neutral drop-off and pick-up of could help convince your state to children every Friday and Sunday evening, and possibly adopt portions of the only guideline Wednesday night. we know of that is based on a child Judges and mediators in Toledo have agreed to refer having two parents. parents to use the site, said Margaret Wuwert, CRC Ohio This CRC guideline, authored by Bieniewicz, was published by the Mimed coordinator, whose chapter worked for a long time to convince local officials that an exchange site would be federal government in a publication helpful to children and families. entitled "Child Support Guidelines: Parent A will bring his or her child to the sunday school child-friendly The Next Generation." room in the church at, say, 7 p.m. on Friday, and wait until Parent B picks up To obtain a copy of the federal the child 15 minutes later. On Sunday the situation will be reversed, with publication, phone (202) 401-9383, Parent B returning the child about 7 p.m., and waiting until Parent A comes which is the Office of Child Support to pick up the child. "In some situations, the CRC monitors at the site will Enforcement's Child Support Ref- have one parent leave before the other arrives," said Wuwert, "but monitors erence Center, located at 370 will be there at all times." L'Enfant Promenade SW, Washing- The monitors will file reports with the Court on which parents and chil- ton, D.C. 20447. There is no charge dren use the center. for the publication, as long as sup- "I am ecstatic that we finally got this center opened," said Wuwert, who plies last. spent months working with judges, mediators, and local officials in Toledo in Copies of the guideline itself as the northwest section of Ohio discussing the proposed center. "Keeping chil- published by the government are dren from being held hostage in the divorce situation is the true mission of available from CRC for $5.00 for CRC," she said. "We are getting great media coverage for the center, so people CRC members, and $10.00 for non- will know it exists." members, including shipping and Note: Open a child access exchange center in your state. Call CRC for handling. information. Write to Bieniewicz at 10004 Fairoaks Road, Vienna, VA 22181, contact himviaemailat CRC Holds Children of Divorce Rally [email protected], or phone 703- at Connecticut State Capitol 255-0837 (evenings).

CRC of Connecticut held a rally in December at the state capitol in Hartford to inform people about the needs Intellectual Property of children who are in the middle of divorce and separa- Protection tion. Mark Roseman, coordinator of CRC of Connecticut Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained led the rally, which was publicized in several newspapers. trademark protection for the name Mark has been appointed as a member of the state and logo "Children's Rights Coun- Fatherhood Initiative, which will examine problems and cil" and the name and logo for our Roseman offer solutions to improve fatherhood in Connecticut. newsletter "Speak Out for Children" "We want both moms and dads involved in children's is a specialist in trademark, patent, lives," said Roseman. copyright, and licensing law. He is a Roseman has obtained 2,500 copies of recent CRC "Speak Out for Chil- partner in the law firm of Ohlandt, dren" newsletters from the national CRC office to distribute to legislators, Greeley, Ruggiero and Perle, 1 libraries, bookstores, sand schools. He has appended one sheet telling about Landmark Square, Suite 903, Stam- Connecticut CRC to all the copies of the national newsletter, so that people ford, CT 06901, telephone (203) in Connecticut can get Connecticut family-oriented news, also. 327-6067.

Page 22 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 ; A 24 Amicus Briefs May be Available Upcoming Events

CRC member Jeffrey Beal won a National Child Support Enforcement reversal on appeal on a child support Association (NCSEA) order imposed by a NewYork Court. NCSEA will hold its 49th annual conference July 30-August 3 at the Town Beal's ex-wife has denied him access and Country Resort and Convention Center, San Diego, CA. Early bird reg- to his children for the past 9 years, istration is $395; one-clay registration is $175. NCSEA has been reaching out yet a lower court refused Beal's re- to non-custodial parents in recent years by including parenting topics at its quest for a downward modification annual conferences. To register for the conference, phone 202-624-8180; of his financial child support order. for hotel reservations, $105 and up, call the hotel at 1-800-772-8527. The appeals court granted the downward modification. Academy of Family Mediators (AFM) See Beal vs. Beal, Appellate Divi- sion, 2nd Department, Brooklyn, AFM will holds its 17th annual conference July 11-15, at the Hilton Salt New York, decision published in the Lake City Hotel. The theme is "Values in Mediation." AFM is giving its "Peace New York Law Journal on March 10, Award" to Neve Shalom, the group working for peace in the Middle East. 2000. Beal's lawyer is Lewis Edelstein, Keynote speaker is John Paul Lederach, author and mediator. Conference 526-228-3355. registration is $365 and up; to register, phone 781-674-2663. For hotel reser- CRC filed a Friend of the Court vations, $110 a night, phone 1-800-HILTONS. brief in the case, but it was not a part of the outcome. National Center for Strategic Non-Profit If your case is on appeal, and you Planning and Community Leadership (NPCL) would like CRC to consider writing NPCL will hold its 2nd international Fatherhood conference May 29-31, an amicus brief, contact CRC. CRC at the New York Marriott Hotel Marquis, 1535 Broadway. Speakers will in- cannot handle cases at the trial level, clude an international panel of health and human services experts. Fee is and we do not write the main appeal $300, phone 1-888-528-6725 for registrations. For information on confer- brief. An amicus brief is a supplemen- ence scholarships, phone Charlene Meeks at the same number. Hotel reser- tal brief, telling the court why this case vations are $169 per night, call hotel at 1-800-843-4898, and mention the is of significance not only to the par- International Fatherhood Conference. ties in the case, but to other children and families as well. We generally need 30 to 60 days before the filing National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) deadline. NFI will hold its 3rd national Summit on fatherhood June 2-3 at the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C. Registration is $195 for all events, including dinner June 2. $125 for dinner only. Speakers include Robert Porches; line defensive end, Detroit Lions; Tim McGraw, country music superstar; Kirk Cameron, TV and film actor; Ron Haskins, House Mediation, Moveaway Ways and Means Committee; Sara McClanahan, researcher; Ken Canfield, Help National Center for Fathering, and CRC spokespersons. For reservations, call NFI at 301-948-0599, for hotel reservations phone 202/737-1234, $175 Leslee Newman, J.D., who has and mention NFI conference. been giving free consultations on move-away issues to CRC members, is available for mediation consultations (at a fee). Leslee, who is a trained mediator, can be reached at 714-282-1515. Her husband Don Order CRC Book and Make Money! Smith, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, is Parenti-Best available for child custody evalua- is Both Order bulk copies (10 or more) of the still popular tions. Don's number is 714-939-6678: Pa3rents1993 publication, The Best Parent is Both Parents, for only Don and Leslee are both in Or- 4,1 . $4 a copy. Resell the copies for the list price of $10 each, ange County, California, but can and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- handle cases anywhere in the country. rvy,i T .rry vidual copies are $10.

Sprin 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 23 0) Abduction ing that the parental relocation law wassocial worker, but the social worker said and Shared Custody remedial in nature and did not impairshe would not perform the evaluation any vested right. The parental relocationunless she was appointed by the court A parent with joint custody is not nec- law provides that, when parents spend essarily immune from criminal prosecu- to do so. After court appointment, the substantially equal time with their child, tion for abducting his or her child from social worker carried out the evaluation, the other parent, the Connecticut Su-and one parent wants to relocate withand recommended that the father be preme Court ruled on Dec. 21, 1999.the child, a trial court must determinegiven sole custody. The trial court whether relocation is in the child's best In reaching the decision, the Supreme awarded custody to the father and or- interest. Where parents do not spend Court set aside its 1993 ruling in a civil dered the mother to pay child support. custodial interference/abduction case substantially equal time with the child,The mother then filed a malpractice ac- that unlawful custody by one parentthe law says, the court must permit relo- tion against the social worker. The trial cation unless the parent does not have could not be found where parents shared court rejected the social worker's claim a reasonable purpose for moving, the custody. The 1999 case involved a man of immunity, saying that Kentucky case who was charged with conspiracy andchild's interests would be harmed, or thelaw did not address the issue of immu- custodial interference, in connectionrelocating parent has a vindictive mo-nity for Court-appointed social workers tive. The Appeals Court therefore con- with his role in aiding his nephew in in- who provided custody evaluations. The cluded that the mother should be able terfering with the custodial rights of the Appeals Court, however, cited a 1995 to relocate with the child. nephew's ex-wife. The mother had lim- case where immunity had been granted, [Caudill (Foley) v. Foley, Tenn. ited, supervised visitation with the child, and said that the social worker, who was and the uncle helped his nephew to flee CtApp., No. 01A01- 9903 -CH -00187,10/ "an integral part of the judicial process," with the child to Turkey. The Supreme28/99) was entitled to immunity. Court over-ruled a lower court decision [Stone v. Glass, Ky. Ct. App., Nos. 1998- that the uncle was not liable because the Joint Custody for CA-001973 & 1998-CA-002062, 2/4/00] mother was not the sole custodian at the Father and Stepfather time of the alleged interference with visi- A trial court correctly decided that a Stepfather Preferred to tation. stepfather should have joint custody of Father After [State v. Vahilzaden, Conn., 251 a 12 year-old boy, along with the boy's Mother's Death Conn. 656, 12/21/99] natural father, despite the objections of The Pennsylvania Supreme Court the mother, the Virginia Court of Ap-decided Jan.19 that a stepfather should Relocation Law's peals held Oct. 5, 1999. The stepfatherhave custody of a boy, following his Application to received physical custody of the boy. Themother's death. The Supreme Court Pre - Fisting Agreement Appeals Court said exceptional circum- said it made its decision on the basis that The Tennessee Court of Appealsstances justified awarding custody to the the best interest of a child could justify a stepfather, because the boy had been in held on Oct. 28, 1999, that a Tennessee non-parent getting custody, even though the stepfather's custody for over seven state law governing parental relocation the biological parent had not been shown passes constitutional muster when ap-years, was well-adjusted, and wanted to to be unfit. After the death of the mother, remain with the stepfather. plied to a pre-existing agreement. The the father, who lived in New Jersey, Appeals Court was considering a case [Brown v. Burch, Va. Ct. App., No. sought custody of his son, then eight where the mother petitioned the trial 1937-98-2, 10/5/99] years old. However, the trial court found court to be permitted to relocate with the that the boy's life centered on his home child to Florida, where her new husband Immunity for with the stepfather, who had married the owned a business. The parties were di- Clinical Social Worker mother when the boy was one. The Ap- peals Court endorsed this view, saying vorced in 1996, and the marriage disso- A clinical social worker is entitled to that, although several jurisdictions had lution agreement stated that the motherimmunity in a parent's suit alleging neg- adopted a standard generally strongly "shall not remove child's residence from ligent performance of a custody evalua- jurisdiction of Court without court ap-tion, the Kentucky Court of Appealsfavoring the natural parent over a third party, it had explicitly declined to do so. proval." The trial court held that this ruled Feb. 4. The case involved divorced One justice dissented, expressing the agreement meant that a subsequent law parents who had joint custody of their on parental relocation did not apply,children. Two years after the custodyview that natural parents had a constitutionally protected right to custody of since application of the subsequent law award, the mother sought sole custody, their children, whenever there was no would violate the prohibition against ret- and asked a licensed clinical social evidence that they were unfit. rospective laws. However, the Appealsworker to perform a custody evaluation. [Charles v. Stehlik, Pa. No. J-118- Court rejected the trial court's view, hold- The father agreed to the selection of the 1999, 1/19/00), Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 era 28 Choice of Counselor in Parental Alienation Report Denial or ]Interference with Access A judge attempting to resolve a long- (Visitation) running custody/visitation battle properly ordered the custodial mother to undergo If you are a parent who has experienced repeated interference or denial counseling, but erred in requiring her to of access/visitation/parenting time with your child, please provide basic infor- accept a therapist her ex-husband chose, mation to CRC, such as relevant state statutes, published court decisions you the North Dakota Supreme Court held relied on, and remedies the court may have implemented. If your case was Jan. 3. The court said the judge correctly interstate, indude information on whether the full faith and credit provisions ruled that the mother's behavior in alien- of the Visitation Order Enforcement Act of1998,Tide28 U.S.Code, Sec- ating the children from the father mer- tion 1738A, was addressed in your case, or if a registered order from another ited counseling. However, the Supreme state was complied with or ignored. We are gathering this information to Court said, father should not have been evaluate possible legislative proposals and give advice to parents handling allowed to pick the counselor, despite similar situations. Replies requested by June 30,2000.Send information (no the judge's concern that the mother more than2pages, please) to P.O. Box2265,Reston, VA20195. would choose a counselor who would not help to end the alienation behavior. The court directed the judge to obtain a CRCWants Chapters in Every State list of qualified counselors from both parties, and then make the choice from CRC WANTS CHAPTERS IN EVERY STATE! GO CRC!! among those named. For development of chapters in states that do not yet have any CRC chap- [Hendrickson v. Hendrickson, N.D., ters: No. 990123, 1/3/00] Re: states out west, contact CRC Board Member from the chapters Terry Divorced Parents' Liability Cady in Illinois. Re: states in the south, contact Board Advisor from the chapters Fred for Child's Vandalism Wall in North Carolina. A state law permitting school districts Re: states in the east, contact Board Advisor from the chapters Margaret to recover damages from the parents of Wuwert in Ohio. children who destroy school property See their names and numbers on page 30. applies only to the parent with whom the For states in the east, you may also contact Ron Pilcher, 513/755-2932. child is living at the time of the offense, Join CRC, then ask for a copy of the 100-page CRC booklet that explains Florida's Third District Court of everything you need to know about affiliation. The cost of the booklet is Appeal held Dec. 22, 1999. The Court $15.00. of Appeal said that the law, drafted in 1956, "has not kept up with the changed reality of dissolution and child custody circumstances." However, the court said, the statute's intention was clear, and was PC1i1TOR6212 directed at the parent with whom the Our AduerWsors child was living. The parent with primarily residential custody over the child had the immediate opportunity to exert pa- Advertise in CRC's Newsletter: 5,000 circulated with a rental control and discipline over the Nationwide readership of 25,0001 resident child, the Court of Appeal said. One judge dissented, saying that the Business Card $75 Half page $275 court's ruling would "emasculate" the (7.15" x 4.825") concept of shared parental responsibility. Quarter page $150 Full page $500 [Canida v. Canida, Fla. Dist. Ct. App., (3.575 x 4.825") (7.15" x 9.65") Nos. 99-300 & 99-188, 12/22/99]

The above cases are summarized For information contact the CRC office or: from Family Law Reporter, published by The Bureau of National Affairs, Inc. AndrewRoss Lawrence Peckmazian They appear here by permission of the 301/320-5960 703/920-1451 publisher.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 25 27 Congressional Update

Here are some important bills andUnder the new bill, no clear guidelines in order to more fully help children who resolutions in Congress affecting fami-are given for the removal of restraining really have been abused, as officials in lies. Write to your House member ororders. Texas and other states have decided. Senator to let them knowwhat you think The Ashcroft bill is being considered The Senate has two other VAWA of a particular bill. They do not getby the Constitutional Subcommittee ofmeasures. S. 245, was introduced in enough mail on issues of concern tothe Senate Judiciary Committee, (202-January 1999 by Sen. Orrin Hatch (R- CRC members. So contact them! Let 224-8081). UT) and referred to the Judiciary Com- them know what sort of legislation you S. 51, Title II, Study of Child Cus- mittee. Another bill, S. 1321, was re-in- would like to see passed! tody Laws in Domestic Violence Cases,troduced by Sen. Paul Wellstone (D- introduced by Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE),WI) which did not pass in the earlier Write Authorizes the Attorney General to session of Congress. As part of that bill, Senator(name) make grants to States and Indian tribalsupervised visitation centers would be Washington, D.C. 20510 governments to enable them to enterestablished for children who witness or into contracts and cooperative agree-domestic violence at home. The bill Representative (name) ments to assist public or private non-would also increase the role of schools Washington, D.C. 20515 profit entities in establishing and oper-in providing assistance. ating supervised visitation centers for House Bills purposes of facilitating supervised visitation and visitation exchange of chil- Bills Affecting Bills Affecting Child dren by and between parents. Requires that Financial Child Support Custody priority be given to States that consider domestic violence in making a custody Denial ofPassports StalkingPrevention decision and require findings on the H.R. 521. Denial of Passports to record. Currently in the Senate Judiciary H.R. 1869, the Stalking Prevention Noncustodial Parents in Cases of Non- Committee. and Victim Protection Act, introduced payment of Child Support. Introduced Write to Sen. Biden, Senate Judi- by Rep. Sue Kelly (D-NY) in May 1999 by Rep. Robert Andrews (D-NJ).Re- ciary Committee, and your Senator, stat- was passed by the House in November ferred to House International Relations ing that Congress has already provided 1999 and a companion Senate measure Committee and the House Subcommit- for the exchange sites we seek, but in a was introduced in January 2000 by Sen. tee for International Operations and more general, family-friendlyway, in the John Ashcroft (S. 2011). A similar bill Human Rights. It is a bill that would deny 1996 Welfare Reform Law. CRC seeks (S. 1660) sponsored by Sen. Kay Bailey passports to noncustodial parents sub- an increase in funding for those access/ Hutchison was previously introduced. ject to State arrest warrants in cases of visitation/parenting programs. The bill would amend Title 18 of the nonpayment of child support awards. U.S. Code and broaden the definition S. 51, Sec. 302. Directs the Attorney Write to Chairman Benjamin A. General to study and report to Congress of stalking in interstate or foreign com- Gilman, (R-NY), House International on Federal and State laws relating to merce to apply to those who act "with Relations Committee and Chairman child custody, including the Parental the intent to injure or harass" another Christopher Smith (R-NJ), House Sub- person and engage in conduct "thatKidnapping Prevention Act of 1980, andcommittee for International Opera- their effect on child custody cases in places an individual, a member of their tions and Human Rights, Washington, immediate family or intimate partner inwhich domestic violence is a factor. Re-D.C. 20515, asking that passports reasonable fear" of death or bodily in-quires study to examine the burdens and should also be denied to individuals risks encountered by victims of domes- jury. subject to state arrest warrants in viola- tic violence arising from compliance with The bill would not take the place of tion of custody and access/visitation or- the full faith and credit (and judicial ju- state anti-stalking statutes but would pro- ders. vide for federal prosecution where arisdiction) requirements of that Act. stalker threatens an individual by tele- CRC recommends that you state that Bankruptcy Reform Act phone, mail, or e-mail. The bill states Sec. 302 of the proposed law should di-Provisions Would Prioritize that stalking includes "harassment," arect the Attorney General to also report Financial Child Support term not defined in U.S. statutes. Be-on the frequency of use and effect of false cause harassment is a charge frequentlyallegations of abuse in the midst of cus- The Bankruptcy Reform Act of leveled by one parent against anothertody or access/visitation battles, which1999, H.R. 833, introduced by Rep. during divorce, the bill will almost cer-have been noted by the American BarGeorge Gekas, passed in the House on tainly lead to greater abuse of court re-Association and other organizations. WeMay 5, 1999. A similar measure from straining orders by vindictive parents.must deal with false abuse accusationsSen. Grassley (R-IA) was considered by Page 26 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 : the Senate, S. 625. Senator Hatch (R-nance Committee. It is a bill to amendto promote their long-term economic UT) in November, 1999, gave a speech Title IV of the Social Security Act to co- independence and well-being of their on the Senate floor where he proposedordinate the penalty for the failure of achildren. strengthening the protection of domes-State to operate a State child support dis- CRC recommends writing to Sen. tic child support obligations duringbursement unit with the alternative pen-Moynihan to ask that connecting chil- bankruptcy proceedings. The Senatealty procedure for failures to meet datadren to both of the child's parents be voted to act on HR 833 which passedprocessing requirements. part of the bill. the Senate on February 2, 2000, and the Write to Sen. Feinstein and your own bill went to a conference committee toU.S. senators urging that the penalty for reconcile differences between Housefailure to implement the full faith and Donors are and Senate versions. credit interstate access/visitation law Appreciated The bill will probably be signed into should result in financial penalties to the law by President Clinton by sometimestate. CRC thanks everyone who con- in the Spring of 2000. Overall, the bill tributes to CRC in the charity drive gives greater protection to collect sup- Bills to Strengthen that takes place in all federal gov- port obligations than current law pro- Family Life and Marriage ernment offices every Fall. CRC is vides. The new law would ensure that part of Independent Charities of available assets first go to pay a support H. Res. 280, America. We also thank those who obligation, before credit card debt, tax sponsored by Rep. contribute to CRC in the Washing- obligation, or any other debt. Previously, Vernon" Ehlers (R- ton, D.C., and San Francisco (Bay certain obligations, such as taxes, were MI), referred to Area) United Way campaigns. to be discharged prior to child support House Education We also thank those who con- arrearages. The new law would change andWorkforce tribute to CRC through their that priority, and if there are any assets, Committee. Recog- United Way in some other part of they would go first to child support. The nizes the impor- the country, where we are not new bill also toughens requirements that Ehlers tance of strong mar- listed, but where employers may the bankruptcy trustee notify persons riage in general, sometimes allow employees to des- owed child support and government col-and the Greater Grand Rapids Commu- ignate CRC. lection agencies of the pending bank-nity Marriage Policy in particular. That CRC depends on volunteer ruptcy proceeding. policy outlines a menu for a successful help and contributions for its ex- For further information, contactmarriage, including not marrying too istence. If you wish to make your House Subcommittee on Commercialyoung, finishing school, choosing a mate tax-deductible contribution di- and Administrative Law, 202/225-2835.with similar values, dating at least a year rectly to CRC, send it to CRC, 300 before marriage, completing a premari- I Street, Suite 401, Washington, Bill Would Require IRS to tal course, waiting to cohabit until after D.C. 20002. Collect Support marriage, emphasizing the positive, sharing household duties, worshiping to- Change of Address H.R.1488. Compassion for Children gether, having fun together, and remem- and Child Support Enforcement Act of To keep newsletters and other ma- bering that commitment is the founda- terials coming, please notify CRC 1999 was introduced by Rep. Henrytion to successful marriage. Hyde (R-IL). This bill would require the three weeks in advance of any address change. Send old and new ad- Internal Revenue Service to collect and S. 208 Enhanc- disburse child support payments. A hear- dresses to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., ing Family Life Act, Suite 401, Washington, DC 20002. ing was held by the Human Resources sponsored by Sen. subcommittee of the Ways and Means Daniel Patrick Important Phone Committee (202/225-1025) on March Moynihan was re- 16, 2000. State child support adminis- ferred to the Fi- Number trators and other child support experts nance Committee. The phone number for the oppose federalizing child support, and It would provide the bill is not expected to be approved Congressional switchboard, Moynihan "second chance by the subcommittee. which will reach all offices and homes" to custodial committees, is (202) 224 -3121. parents under age 19 and their children Child Support Disbursement where they would have a supportive and Unit supervised living arrangement and be S.1033. Child Support Penalty Fair-required to learn parenting skills, includ- CRC and our chapters need ness Act. introduced by Sen. Dianneing child development, family budget- grant and proposal writers. Feinstein (D-CA). Referred to Senate Fi-ing, health and nutrition, and other skills

Spring 2000 Speak Out Far Children Page 27 29 President Clinton SendsHis Greetings to CRC

THE WHITE HOUSE WASHINGTON

September 21,1999

Virginia, Alexandria, gathered in Rights This is the letter to everyone the Children's Warm greetings conference of for the 12thnational President Clinton life. They provide Council. of American to sustain the cornerstone children need of sent to CRC's Families are and guidance the importance In encouragement, However, whilefacing them arenot. the love, their endeavors. the home them in all challenges work outside 12th National unchanging, the both parents and family. families is families today, demands of job Still the competing many Americanto balance responsibilities.divorce. parent bearsthese precipitated by Conferencein and strugglea single In others, transitions throughdifficult parents meettheir others go hard to help Family September, 1999. has worked enacting the the minimumwage, such important MyAdministrationby raising and expanding Health Insurance responsibilities and promoting can Leave Act, and theChildren'spolicy or program and Medical Head Start children initiatives as that nogovernment love that But I know andunconditional Program. care, concern, replace the their parents. receive from for your this conference in today's participants of families, even the America's "Keeping Kids I commendensuring that theme -- are our commitment to This year's stay strong.reminds usthat childrenour first complex society, -- always remain First in the21st Century"well-being must public policy. that their and in our future and in ourpersonal lives priority, both wishes for aproductive extending beat important work. me in in your Hillary joinscontinued success conference and

THUS RIVETING EXPOSt REVEALS I-I JUDGES, ATTO HEYS, PSYCHIATRISTSANDPSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATELAW ETO-IIICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL I0 IDENTIFY A "PRIMARY PARENT"

One Divorced A FAWOOLY DIVIDED Father's Story A Divorced Father's Struggle with the Child Custody Industry Every Father's and Child's Nightmare 4'fix 7/ 547pp.Prometheus Books Cloth $27.95

"Robert Mendelson's new book, A_Eginitya.de,compellingly chronicles Dr. Michael Nieland's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along the way provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce aswee thoughtful recommendations to policy makers for change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!", -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative

"A F i is on target about the socialthat faces society todayI liken itto social cancer." -- Sidney Spier,Chairman/Founderof the National Organization for Men HOW to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores Internet: www.amazon.com Publisher: 1.800,421.0351 (Prometheus Books) CRC Catalog of Resources

Page 28 Speak OutFor ChildrenSpring 2000 CRC Claptars N©w non 3 oreign Couuratrfies

CRC is expanding overseas. We al-children's issues in divorce. repercussions of war, and find ready have a chapter in Japan; we now Tony and Christine visited the CRC familiesandhomesfor have chapters in the United Kingdomoffice on March 9. unfortunate kids whose parents and Sierre Leone. cannot be found. Sierra Leone the chapter will work to bring United Kingdom A mother and together divorced parents, to let Organizing Equal them understand that "The Best son team have Parent is Both Parents." Parenting Party started CRC's first- The Kargbo family business in Sierra Tony and Chris- ever chapter in an Leone is a desk-top publishing office tine Coe, who head African country, Si- which will be partly used as a CRC of- the Equal Parenting erra Leone. Yottro fice. Yottro has experience in running Party, a political Kargbo, who lives in non-profit organizations. party dedicated to the U.S., and his one issue, shared motherEsther Chapter in parentingafter Kargbo, who lives in Pennsylvania Capital separation ordivorce, Sierra Leone, in are organizing theWest Africa, are organizing this chapter. Kurt Krusen, a CRC member for the The Coes new CRC chapter. Your() reports that: past four years, has organized a chapter The Coe's re- In the past nine years, Sierrain Harrisburg, the capital of Pennsylva- port that in the U.K. (England, Wales Leone has been torn apart by war. nia. He takes the place of Michael and and Scotland): Families have been destroyed andAnn Poliakoff, who headed a chapter 50 percent of non-custodial parents separated. The greatest victims ofin Harrisburg, until they moved to Vir- lose all contact with their children these atrocities are children. Mostginia a few months ago after adopting a within three years of separation; of these kids ages 8 to 16 endedbaby from China. a custodial parent has in effect, all up being "child soldiers" and Krusen is working particularly on the power. The only right a non- fought alongside grown men. move-away issues. He believes that the custodial parent has is to apply to Today, with a peace deal signed,emphasis should be against state courts the court for access; most of these kids are returningallowing move-aways. if the custodial parent is hostile to their arms and look forward to This is also CRC's position. the idea of access, it can take years start living like normal kids again. CRC's view is that when parents of litigation with no guarantee of It is estimated that there are morebring a child into the world, they owe securing any access whatever; the child an obligation to allow that child all family court proceedings are frequent and continuing contact with conducted in secret, and no one CRC's First Chapter in Africa both parents, which is much easier to may talk about them; thus Tony is to Help Child Victims accomplish if both parents remain in the under a court order in London not same geographic area as the child. to say anything about his children. The parent who contemplates a As strange as it may sound, he is than 10,000 "child soldiers" in move-away with the child should be re- prohibited from even providing Sierra Leone and 10,000 morequired to give 60 says notice to the court CRC with the names and ages of who have lost their parents in oneand to the other parent, so that both his children for publication in this way or the other. parents can decide on a appropriate newsletter article. Most kids will never step foot in acourse of action. The new chapter is working on school or classroom, because If the parent is allowed to move away changing this system, and assuring that there is no parent in their lives towith the child, new arrangements, both for children, "The Best Parent is Both provide these facilities for them.financial and parenting, should be Parents." The chapter will work to ensureworked out so that the child can have My "second, current, and final wife that education becomes a right forthe benefits of both parents contin- Christine, deals with women's issues children, not a privilege.* ued involvement in the child's life. within the Equal Parenting Party," says The chapter will work to find or It may be that both parents will Tony. locate lost parents and re-unitehave to share travel costs with the The Party plans to run candidates in them with their children, providechild, or even that the parent who is as many local elections as possible with counseling for parents andmoving away should assume the in- a view to increasing public awareness of children to understand thecreased financial obligations.

r Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 29 National Affiliate Organizations and Chapters

CRC brnainianonat., Cnnerzas California 0689 CR 5 Omaha, NE 68145-0387 Camp Hill, PA 17011 Patricia Gehlen, coordinator Corunna, IN 46730 402/330-3353 (voice and fax) phone: 717-763-0673 CRC of Great Britain email: [email protected] 219/281-2384 email: [email protected] fax: 717-763-5513 Tony and Christine Coe, Will Brown, president website: uww.hunp.net/oma email: [email protected] coordinators email: w- Iowa -See Nebraska/Iowa Children's Rights Council of the [email protected] New Jersey South Carolina-see North United Kingdom CRC of California Kentucky Eric Purason, president Carolina 38-40 Gloucester Road 915 L Street #G282 Kevin O'Brien New Jersey Council for London, SW7 4QU London, Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 CRC of Kentucky Children's Rights Tennessee England phone and fax: 916/635-2590 P 0 Box 74126 (NJCCR) David Courson, coordinator phone: 011-44-20 7589 9003 Dayton, KY 41074-0126 P.O. Box 195 CRC of Tennessee fax: 011-44-20 7584 4230 Colorado 513/624-7223 Old Bridge, NJ 08857-0195 2120 Grillintown Road [email protected] Mark Entrekin, coordinator phone: 973/694-9323 White Bluff, TN 31708-5207 website: wwwequalparenting.org CRC of Colorado Maryland email and website: uww.njecnorg phone and fax: 615/952-2498 4715 Ranch Circle Harvey Walden, coordinator email: [email protected] CRC of Japan Colorado Springs, CO 80918- CRC of Maryland New York Walter Benda 4118 417 Pershing Drive Kim Boedecker-Frey, coordinator Texas P.O. Box 583 phone 719/548-8798 Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 CRC of New York Diana Buffington, coordinator Max Meadows, VA 24360 l'ax 719/597-2218 301/588-0262 231 Main Street, Suite I CRC of Texas 540/637-3576 email: [email protected] website: http: / /www.members. Vestal, NY 13850 8201 Brookriver Drive, #118 email: [email protected] tripod.com/-mdcrc/ phone and fax (607) 785-9338 Dallas, TX 75247 and Connecticut phone: 214/630-8377, #118 David Brian Thomas Mark Roseman, coordinator Rob and Sandra Snow, chairs Thomas Thornton, president fax: 214/630-1143 4-18-15-903 Kamiki Tazawa CRC of Connecticut CRC of Greater Baltimore CRC of New York City email: [email protected] Setag-aya-Ku 48 Shepards Knoll Drive 2 West 39th Street 499 Ft. Washington Ave., #3D website: community.dallasnews. Tokyo, Japan 156 Hamden, CT 06514 Baltimore, MD 21218 New York, NY 10033 com/dnin/crctx phone: 011-81-3-5317-6357 phone: 203/288-7827 phone and fax: 410/889-9404 hotline: 212/431-7724 fax: 203/281-1425 email: [email protected] fax: 212/740-7008 Children's Rights Coalition CRC of Sierra Leone email: [email protected] email: [email protected] (affiliate) Yottro Kargbo website:pa rudisetech.com/crc/ Massachusetts P.O. Box 12961 45565 Southland Avenue ctcrc.hms Carolyn Brumber, coordinator North Carolina/South Carolina Capitol Station Alexandria, VA 22312 Stave Carrier, president Fred Wall, Jr. coordinator Austin, TX 78711-2961 phone and fax: 703/750-0494 Delaware CRC of Massachusetts 509 N. Seventh Street fax: 215/499-8056 and Esther Kargbo James A. Morning, president 16 Union Street Wilmington, NC 28401 email: [email protected] 7 Sanai Abacha Street CRC of Delaware Holiston, MA 01746 910/762-4952 Freetown, Sierra Leone P.O. Box 1311 phone: 508/429-5282, email: email: [email protected] Vermont phone: 011-23-2-22222-8682 Dover, DE 19901 Gunlyn_BnunbergWaterns.com website: [email protected] Liz Wisda 302/734-8522 CRC of Vermont NATIONAL AFFILIATE email: [email protected] George Kelly chairman Dan Carrigan, Director 14A Church Street ORGANIZATIONS Concerned Fathers of Center for Children of Rutland, VT 05701 District of Columbia Massachusetts, Inc. Separation and Divorce phone: 802/786-5920 Mothers Without Custody (MW/ Frank Banner, coordinator P 0 Box 2768 4950 Park Road OC) CRC of the District of Columbia Springfield, MA 01101-2768 Charlotte, NC 28209 Virginia Jennifer Isharn, coordinator Hillcrest Children's Center phone: 413/736-7432 704/522-1331 John Vaughan, president website only: http: www/ 1325 'W' Street N.W. 3rd floor fax: 413/732-3867 CRC of Virginia, Tidewater motherswithoutcustody.org Washington, D.C. 20009 Ohio chapter phone: 202/232-6100 Michigan Margaret Wuwert, coordinator P.O. Box 61245 Stepfamily Association of fax: 202/483-4560 Barbara Toth, coordinator CRC of Ohio Virginia Beach, VA 23462 America (SAA) CRC of Michigan 2745 Sag more Road phone: 757/249-0037 Margorie Engel, president Florida P.O. Box 653 Toledo, OH 43606 email: [email protected] Larry Kallemyn, Executive Kris Kline, coordinator Edmore, MI 48829-0653 419/472-1471 website: childrens-rights.org Director CRC of Florida 517/427-5774 email: [email protected] 650 J Street, Suite 205 355 Shore Drive Murray Steinberg, president Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 Ellenton, FL 34222 Minnesota Or contact: CRC of Virginia, Richmond 402/477-7837 phone 941/722-8688 Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator Kevin O'Brien chapter 1-800/735-0329 fax 813/620-9068 CRC of Minnesota P.O. Box 8805 9244 Royal Grant Drive Joint membership in SAA and email: [email protected] 5905 Chateau Road N.W. Cincinnati, OH 45208 Mechanicsville, VA 23116 CRC: $35.00 for the first year Rochester, MN 55901 phone: 513/624-7223 phone: (804) 559-7090 Georgia phone and fax: (507) 289-5745 fax: 513/624-3703 fax: (804) 559-7092 STATE CHAPTERS Hany A. Prillaman, coordinator (call before faxing) email: [email protected] email: [email protected] CRC of Georgia email: [email protected] website: www.pacegroup.org Alabama 808 Springharbor Court Paul Robinson, president Dr. Richard C. Weiss, coordinator Woodstock, GA 30188-5509 Missouri Oregon Fathers United for Equal Rights CRC of Alabama phone 678/643-5924 Scott Field, chair Roy Nolan, coordinator and Women's Coalition 514 Heritage Court S. Fax: 678/643-5923 CRC of Eastern Missouri CRC of Oregon P.O. Box 1323 Auburn, AL 36830 email: [email protected] P.O. Box 220661 P.O. Box 2095 Arlington, VA 22210-1323 phone: 334/826-1832 or Kirkwood, MO 63122 Portland, OR 97208 phone: (703) 451-8580 334/844-2666 Illinois 314-963-4668 phone: 503/232-8630 fax: (301) 568-5812 email: Terry Cady, coordinator alt. phones Lan): 314/878-1262 Fax: 503/233-9390 email: [email protected] [email protected] CRC of Illinois Scott 314/838-7092 905 Wayne Avenue Mark Holclenried 314/772-1169 Pennsylvania Washington State Alaska Deerfield, IL 60015 [email protected] Michael Nieland, M.D., pres. Jamaica Filgo Gary Maxwell, coordinator phone 847/374-0461 website: http://hometown.aol. CRC of Pittsburgh CRC of Washington CRC of Alaska Fax 312/322-3553 com/crceastenimo/ 460 S. Graham St. P.O. Box 222 P.O. Box 92083 email: Terry,[email protected] myhomepage/index.hunl Pittsburgh, PA 15232 Arlington, WA 98223 Anchorage, AK 99509-2083 412/441-2200 phone: 541/482-6881 phone: 907/277-3980 Indiana Karyn Stone, secretary-treasurer email: [email protected] fax: 907/276-3980 David Dinn, coordinator CRC of Southwestern Missouri Rita A. Jones, president email:gmaxwell @alaska.net CRC of Indiana 619 E. Silsby Bill Clements, treasurer West Virginia 2625 N. Meridian, Suite 202 Springfield, MO 65807 CRC of Philadelphia Ginger Thompson, Arizona Indianapolis, IN 46208-7703 417/862-1592 P.O. Box 11413 CRC of West Virginia Conrad Greene, coordinator phone: 317/925-5433 [email protected] Philadelphia, PA 19111 109 North Arthur Drive CRC of Arizona fax: 317 /926 -DINN phone: 215/849-3440 Charleston, WV 25312 P.O. Box 454 email: [email protected] Nebraska/Iowa phone: 304/749-6534 Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 Lyn and William Huerter, Kurt Krusen fax: 304/744-8657 phone: 480/970-5903 Grandparent Rights in New coordinators CRC of Harrisburg/Capitol email: [email protected] fax: 480/970-5925 Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) Kevin Boston, president Region Kay and Ray Berryhill, co- CRC of Nebraska 15 Beaver Road Wisconsin directors P.O. Box 45387 contact CRC office Page 30 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 df2722 0eI C-}CMZZ-1e2"6227S./

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Paul Angresano Tim Duncan Anna Keller Howard Peer Vern Stover Kevin Baggett Gudmundur Einarsso Donald Kimmelman Tim Peterson Peter Sullivan Carmela Baram Steve Finucane Evgeni Kobotyons Rusty Peverell Mike Tabisz Greg Beard Donald Fischer Robert Krollman John Phair Jack Taylor John Belcher Bryan Fowler LuAnn Kubis James Phillips Greg Terry Maureen Bergin Val Franz David Levick Richard Pluck Vic Tiliman Boris Bergus Aaron Franz Jeffery Leving Russell Powell Mary Weaver Hank Blumenfeld Quint Garnos Dave Lock Robert Prall John Weaver Rae Young Bond Michael Giuliano Keith Madsen Warren Robinson James Welty Terry Bonds, OD L Joseph Goins Steven Mathis Scott Roleson Bruce Wheeler John Boudreau George Goodrich Paul McCain John Rosella Richard Wise Michael Brennan Charles Gower Paul Damian Millea Peter Scannell Russell Witt Luciano Camacho Richard Haire Russ Miller Marci Schmidt Linda Wood Miriam Galper Cohen Lee Haislip Lawrence Morgan Richard Schoen Sharin Lee Wright John/Marilyn Cook Tom Hartman Joe Motacek John Shinholser C Curtis Wroten Molly Cort Roberta Hernandez Maggie Mudd Tim Smith James Creason Monika Herzer Mike Neader Carri Smith Deborah Datz Dianna Honeywell Ronald Nemet Joel Soferenko Robert Dave Mark Inzetta Patrick O'Neil Peter Sokaris Lori Dillon Hoffer Kaback Heather Osborne Robert Stewart Lee Dudinsky Tom Kahan Annie Otto Bob Stien Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 31 BEST COPY.AVAILABLE 33 A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. Ch Ar5Ri 0(4WcP Permit #881

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Vol. 15 No. 1 chozeAr5RiGkf5cooki Yes! I want to join CRC! You will receivea New Member Packet. Your membership contribution is TAX-DEDUCTIBLE. I want $15 of my dues DISTRIBUTED BY: applied to the duties of the CRC Chapter in the state of If this does not cover their dues, they will let you know. New Member, $35 Renewal, $35 Sustaining Member, $60 Membership # Life Member, $500 Silver Life, $1,000 Sponsor,$125

Gold Life, $2,500 Other,$ Platinum Life, $5,000 Is this a new address? Benefits Include: Yes No Quarterly Newsletter "Best Parent..." Name: Bumper Sticker Copy of a National Address. Conference Proceed- ings City. State. ZIP: FREE telephone conversation with a na- , Home Phone: : "WOrk Phone: tionally recognized expert on Move-Away E-mail. issues! Date: Much, much more! May we occasionally give your name to other groups for mailings approved by CRC? Yes No Send Application & Contribution to: CRC300 "I" Sti-eet, NESuite 401Washington, DC 200024389 .3 4. Call 202/547-6227 to charge your membership to VISA/Mastercard or AMEX Bulk copies of this newsletter are available (20 for $20, 50 for $40, and 100 for $75) for distribution to policy makers, judges, and interested persons in your state. Send order to CRC Summer 2000 Vol. 15-No. 2 ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Assisting Children of Through Education Never-Married, And Advocacy Separated and Divorced Parents

The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Phone (202) 547-6227 IN THIS ISSUE: Parent Education Seminars Required in Virginia Around the Country \I Seven States Honored for Murray Steinbergbilities, options for conflict resolution, and financial Helping Children 4 Led Long Effort to Getresponsibilities." The law states that: CRC's Two Websites 5 Virginia to Require The charge for participation at such program The CRC View 6 Parenting Education for shall be based on the party's ability to pay, not Divorcing Parents to exceed $50. The court may grant an CRC Receives 3 Grants 7 exemption from attendance at such program for What Kids Need 7 All parents involved in a good cause. custody or visitation (access) Other than statements or admissions by a party Equal Parents' Week 8 disputes must attend parent education seminars admitting criminal activity or child abuse or in the state of Virginia, according to a new law CRC Training Session 8 neglect, no statement or admission by a party in passed by the legislature and signed by Gover- such seminar or program shall be admissible into Letters to the Editor 9 nor Jim Gilmore (R). The law took effect July 1, evidence in any subsequent proceeding. 2000 for a two year trial period, after which the Murray Steinberg, head of the Family Resolution Congressional Update. 10 law must be reviewed. Council, a chapter of CRC in Richmond, Virginia, Family Facts 11 The educational seminars are to be con-served on several committees established by the legis- ducted "by a qualified person or organizationlature over a 4-year effort to get Virginia to require Combined Federal approved by the court, on the effects of separa- Campaign 12 tion or divorce on children, parenting responsi- Continued on page 3 Non-Custodial Parents Quilt 14

Fathers Day Rally 14 Please Plan on Attending Books Videos, CRC's 13th National Conference Buttons 18-22 Holiday Inn Bethesda 11 CRC Interns 23 (inside the Beltway) In the Courts 24 May 4-6, 2001 Research 27 Book Reviews 28_ Reception at the British Embassy Residence and Gardens National Affiliate to Benefit CRC Organizations and May 3, the evening before the conference Chapters 30 "Speak Out for Children" is published by the Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. Levy. CRC is a member of Contributors to this issue: Al Ellis, Julie Maggiacomo, Paul Robinson,John Prior, Ken Skilling, and college student interns Carol Bailey, graduate of Washington State University; Tabitha Blackwell, Campbell Univer- sity; Amy Cam right, StJoseph's University; Lisa Chavez, University of California at Santa Barbara; Joy Clavecillas, George Washington University; Melissa Dorris, University of Illinois Law School; )anee Gianotti, Air Force Academy; Mike Gilmore, University of California at Davis; Jennifer Randall, University of Notre Dame; Stephanie Shark, Temple University Law School; Connie Yang, University of Pennsylvania. Layout by Sheila Holzberger. CCI Children's The CRC Charities of America The Children's Rights Councilemotional and financial child support.mission, provided the source ("Reprinted (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRSWe work to strengthen fragile familiesfrom the Children's Rights Council news- 501(c) (3) children's rights organizationof children whose parents are unwed.letter 'Speak Out for Children,' Summer based in Washington, D.C. CRC worksWe also favor school-based programs2000") is given. For non-CRC material, to strengthen families through educationfor children at risk. obtain permission from the copyright and advocacy. We favor family forma- Formed in 1985 by concerned par-owner. For further information about tion and family preservation, but if fami-ents who have more than 40 years col-CRC membership, publications, cas- lies break up, or are never formed, welective experience in custody reform and settes, catalog, and services, write: CRC, work to assure a child the frequent andearly childhood education, CRC has300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washing- continuing contact with two parents andchapters in 32 states, Washington, D.C. ton, D.C. 20002; phone (202) 547-6227; extended family the child would nor-and Africa, Asia and Europe. Two na- fax (202) 546 -4CRC (4272). mally have during a marriage. Our mottotional organizations are affiliated with CRC has two websites: is "The Best Parent is Both Parents." CRC: Mothers Without Custody (MW/www.gocrc.com (our main CRC site) and For the child's benefit, CRC favorsOC) and the Stepfamily Association ofwww.info4parents.com (for expanded parenting education before marriage,America (SAA). parenting information). during marriage, and for parents who are Prominent professionals in the fields CRC's email address: unwed or separated. We work to demili-of religion, law, social work, psychology,[email protected] Speak Out for Chil- tarize divorce between parents who arechild care, education, business, and gov-dren is published four times a year and is involved in marital disputes, substitutingernment comprise our Advisory Panel.sent free to members. Library rate: $20.00 conciliation and mediation for the Material in this newsletter authoreda year. Send letters, comments and ar- adversarial process, and providing forby CRC may be reprinted without per-ticles for publication to Editor, CRC.

OFFICERS AND BOARD PARENTING EDUCATION Hon. Sherwood Boehlert Jonathan M. Goodson, President MEMBERS SPOKESPERSON: U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Mark Goodson Productions David L. Levy, Esq. President Wes Unseld, Los Angeles, California John L. Bausennan, Jr., Chairman VP Washington Wizards Jim Cook, President Samuel A. Brunelli, CEO Member, NBA Hall of Fame Joint Custody Association Hon. Bob Graham Ingrid Bough-Bell Los Angeles, California U.S. Senator (D-FL) John L. Bauserman, Sr. NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS Teresa L. Kaiser,J.D. Daryl Grant, Washington Redskins "Dear Abby" Jennifer Isham, President Judge Richard A. Waldron (ret'cl) Superbowl XVII and XXII (Abigail Van Buren) Mothers Without Custody Lee Yarborough Champion Los Angeles, California (MW/OC) Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author Crystal Lake, Illinois HONORARY PRESIDENT Karen DeCrow Catherine Meyer, author, EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Former President of N.O.W. Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. wife of the British John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Janesville, New York Executive Director Ambassador to the U.S. D. Richard Kuhn Northern California Mediation Elliott H. Diamortil Center GENERAL COUNSEL FAMILY ADVISORY BOARD Co-Founder, CRC Michael L. Oddenino Chairman, Reston, Virginia Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. Arcadia, California Clifton Alan Clark, Sr. Author, Psychiatrist former CRC Director of Phyllis Diller, Comedienne Scottsdale, Arizona DIR. OF CHILD ACCESS Development Los Angeles, California SERVICES Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Alfred Ellis ADVISORS Margorie Engel, president Deephaven, Minnesota Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Stepfamily Association of America OFFICE MANAGER Former President, Board of Rabbis James Levine, The Fatherhood Julie Maggiacomo, M.A. of Greater Washington, DC Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author Project former Member of the Board of The Family and Work Institute DIRECTOR OF PARENTING Eloise Anderson Directors, New York City N.O.W. New York, New York EDUCATION PROGRAMS: The Claremont Institute Leucadia, California Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. Sacramento, California Hon. Debbie Stabenow Salt Lake City, Utah Larry Gaughan, Professional U.S. Congresswoman (D-Ml) David Birney, Actor Director Santa Monica, California Family Mediation of Greater Hon. Fred Thompson Washington, D.C. U.S. Senator (R-TN) Page 2 Speak Out For Children Sprit-12000 Around the Country Education Seminars Continued from page I Elian Back in Cuba: parenting education for separating and The Justice System Worked Slowly divorcing parents. Steinberg drafted the bill after hear- CRC sums up some observations about 6-year-old ing of Elizabeth Hickey's parenting edu- Elian Gonzalez. cation work in Utah. Steinberg said Vir- ginia Delegate Jack Reid of Henrico The U.S.justice system worked, albeit slowly. It took County deserves major credit for spon- seven months for the system to decide finally that Elian soring the bill over a several year period belonged with his dad, but it was a correct decision, according to INS rules. until it became law. Virginia is believed to be the fourth Even if the INS had been judged incorrect in its state to require parenting education of handling of the case, U.S. lawthe PKPA (Parental all separating parents. Utah was the first Elian Kidnapping Prevention Act), the UCCJA (Uniform Child state, and Connecticut and New Hamp- Custody Jurisdiction Act)and the International Hague shire the second and third states. Other Convention, also require that a child be returned to the "home state" or "country of habitual residence" of the child. jurisdictions may mandate attendance by Like many Americans, we wished Juan Miguel Gonzalez would have local court order or have informal atten- defected to the U.S., but if he didn't, he was legally entitled to return his dance policies determined on a case-by- child to Cuba. case basis. This is according to a study by CRC officers appeared more than 30 times on radio, TV and in print media discussing the Elian Gonzalez case, and CRC President David L. Levy Margie Geasler and Karen Blaisure of Western Michigan University, was quoted in a Time magazine cover story on Elian in May. After the family returned to Cuba, David L. Levy fielded questions from a Kalamazoo, who did a nationwide study of parenting education programs. In Cuban-American representative on a radio program. The representative con- Utah, the state program was started by tinued to restate the often quoted arguments regarding why Elian had not Elizabeth Hickey, who trained all the received fair treatment in the courts. With an eye toward the future, Levy asked how the Cuban and Miami sides of the family could now work towards original parenting education directors. "We have now established a new reconciliation. organization called PEN, the Parent Would it help if the Cuban-American community focused on ways to see the boy, rather than on attacking Castro? Education Network, to assure compliance with the new law." CRC understands that Elian's father, Juan Miguel Gonzales, and Lazaro Murray can be reached at Gonzales, the boy's great uncle, talked on the phone before Juan Miguel and Elian returned to Cuba. [email protected] Dr. Audrey Weiss, a family and child counselor in NewYork City who is a CRC spokesperson, said it would be beneficial to the boy to have contact with his Miami relatives. Ask your "Contact would help because of the bonding that took place in Miami between Elian and his cousins," she said. state legislators Alfred Ellis, CRC's Director of Child Access Services said, "This was not a political issue or a control issue. It is a parenting issue. Elian lost one parent, to pass a he deserves the right to be with his father, the surviving parent." required parenting educa- Order CRC Book and Make Money! tion bill ParentheBest L9 Both Order hulk copies (10 or more) of the still popular similar to what Parents1993 publication, The Best Parent is Both Parents, for only (:ketat4,-p, recently became pArodkitt$4 a copy. Resell the copies for the list price of $10 each, 7,httAhtly and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- law in Virginia. 7ry vidual copies are $10.

Sprigii2000 Speak Out For Children Page 3 Seven States Ifforraored GT HellpitngChill ren and --Tanilliles

Seven states, Montana, Kansas, The Best Connecticut, Wis- States for consin, California, Shared Oklahoma, and Florida, were recog- Moore (1 to r) CRC interns Carnright and Yang and Yoakum Montana, ni zedbythe Representative Napolitano KantKansas, Children's Rights Council for outstand- Wisconsin, and ing efforts to keep both mothers and fa- Connecticut. thers in their children's lives. The awards covered a range ofCalifornia: Best Approach The number of physical joint custody services to help parents before mar- During Marriage and for awards per separating parents in those riage, during marriage and where Divorce states are: Montana: 55.4%, Kansas, parents are separated, divorced, or 53.3%, Wisconsin, 49.1% and Connecti- never-married. The best state for marriagecut, 41.2%, according to the Census This was the first time such na- counseling during marriageinBureau. tional awards were given by CRC. A order to help parents keep their In addition, Montana, Kansas and press conference was held Wednes- marriage together if possible. Connecticut lead among states with the day, July 19, 2000, in the Hart Senate Also best approach by requiringlowest divorce rate, which indicates to Office Building. mediation (called conciliation) forCRC that if parents know they will have Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) and all separating parents with minorto interact with the other parent through Representatives Bill McCollum (R-FL), children. shared parenting, there is less incentive Grace Napolitano (RCA), and Dennis California has more marriage coun-to divorce. The Census Bureau reported Moore (D-KS) accepted the awards onselors per population that any other state, on this statistic for only 19 states; Wis- behalf of their states. Sarah Yoakum, a and has led the way among the states with consin was not reported. representative of Oklahoma Governorrequired mediation. Frank Keating, flew from Oklahoma to Note: CRC focused only on separa- accept the award on behalf of Governor Oklahoma: Most tion and divorce. But because of the se- Keating. Innovative Law in the rious problems children and families A reception followed the press con- Event of Separation face in separation and divorce, we have ference. The award categories were: come to realize that services need to be Oklahoma's Parenting Act forprovided to assist people who wish to Florida: Most Innovative establishing shared parenting atmarry, and to help them sustain their Laws Before Marriage the pendente lite (initial stage ofmarriages where possible. If divorce oc- litigation), before positionscurs, or the parents are never-married, Florida's Marriage Preparation harden, and before litigationchildren must be assured of a meaning- and Preservation Act, which ensues. See Fall, 1999 "Speak Outful relationship with both parents when- provides a discount on marriage for Children" for more details. ever possible. As the CRC motto says, licenses for couples planning to Greg Palumbo, Ph.D., executive di-"The Best Parent is Both Parents." marry if they take a pre-maritalrector of Oklahomans for Families Alli- counseling class; if they do not takeance, was a catalyst behind passage of A complete report on the selection the class, they must wait a 3 day the law. Palumbo credits Representatives of these states can be seen on our "cooling off' period beforeBill Graves, Odilia Dank, and Russwebsites: gocrc.com and marriage. Roach, along with Senators Oweninfo4parents.com Hard copies from Divorcing couples with minorLaughlin and James Williamson, forCRC free to CRC members; $10 for children must take a 4 hour courseplaying key roles in passage of the newnon-members for P/H. See complete on parenting education. law. report.

Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000

o Cheek Out CRC's Two Websites

www.gocrc.com This is the mainnow have a "secure server" on thisD.C. area for 15 years, for maintaining CRC organizational website. We thankwebsite, which means you can order this website for all parents, but mainly CRC Evaluator of Research and Webbooks, oin or renew in CRC, and regis-for never-married parents. This site is expert Rick Kuhn (yes, Rick wears twoter for the conference by credit card. supported by a grant from the Annie E. hats) for maintaining the gocrc website, www.info4parents.com WeCasey Foundation (see home page for with the assistance of Serge Prengel and thank Lonnie Perrin, who was workedthis site below). Bruce Kaskubar. Thanks to Rick, wewith young parents in the metropolitan

Info4Parents I Parenting Resources

SEARCH FOR1 INFORMATION' resources articles books, videos, etc.

advocacy child support welcome! counseling education Welcome to the Children's Rights employment Council's Info4Parents Website. health We want never-married parents legal to obtain the resources, information, and referrals that will parenting enable them to be what they programs/initiatives want to be-- better parents to research their children. social services home Our site contains names of parenting support groups arranged two ways - -by the type of group that can help you, and the state you live in. The site also contains resources on single parents, marriage, custody, access/visitation/parenting time, parenting education, prevention of abuse and neglect of your child, job sources, and parentage establishment. Also, the site contains articles as well as tips and information on subjects that can help never-married parents and separated and divorced parents.

The Children's Rights Council is a nationwide, non-profit child-advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C., with chapters in 32 states, Washington, D.C., Europe, Asia and Africa. CRC has been successful in changing laws and attitudes to bring about more involvement by parents in their children's lives. We have brought about more joint custody (shared parenting), mediation, parenting education, parenting plans, and programs and services to unite children with their parents.

Info4Parents.com is being run by the Children's Rights Council under a grant by the Annie E. Casey Foundation to help never-married parents be the kind of better parents they want to be.

Follow these links to find our more about the Children's Rights Council and its accomplishments.

advocate ctijkiikpi port :: counseling :: education :: e_moto_yrnont health legal paronting p_rocLrams/initiatives :: research :: social services :: home

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children 41. e Page 5 39 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 000000 000000000000000000 eRse vee. 4 Davie t eRe

Levy sus Bureau. But too many parents feel 60-64 = 10.1% pushed away and forced away from their 65 and over = 10.5%. Child Support Does children by the "divorce industry" that foists litigation and warfare upon parents not Reduce the Childwho happen to get separated or divorce. Kids Need Emotional Poverty Rate Concerning poverty, the 1999 Cur- Support, Too rent Population Report (website In "The CRC View" (Spring,www.childstats.gov) stated that in 1997, After reviewing the reports from 2000 newsletter), I stated that the19 percent of children lived in poverty.the various governmental and pri- original purpose of the child supportThe U.S. Census Bureau reported thatvate organizations, it is clear that the collection system was to reduce childin 1998, the child poverty rate was be-child poverty rate has not experi- poverty, but the child poverty rate had low 20 percent, at 18.9 percent, for theenced any major declines. Since the not gone down in 20 years. first time since 1980. 1993 peak of 22.7 percent, the pov- A prominent federal official chal- Clearly, there are small discrepancieserty rate has only dropped 3.8 per- lenged that statement. between the statistics from the Currentcent in five years. In 1959, the child I had said that reduction of pov-Population Report and the U.S. Censuspoverty rate was 27.3 percent. erty was cited by Sen. Russell LongBureau. Deciphering which figures are The poverty rate continues to in 1980 as the reason for the federalthe most accurate can be difficult whenfluctuate, with the numerical ups take-over of the national child supportseparate organizations cling to differentand downs akin to the roller coast- system. And one often sees the me-statistics. ers kids love to ride. But should dia stating that a reduction in child The biggest national network of foodsome kids have enough to eat, and poverty has either been achieved, orbanks, Second Harvest, claims that theothers not? Why shouldn't all kids would be achieved, if only those aw-poverty rate for children under six yearsexperience good emotional as well ful dads would pay their child sup-of age is growing extremely fast, thoughas good financial health? port. they do not give any figures. The sad truth is that the child I said that now, 20 years later, The Children's Defense Fund re-poverty rate in America has re- despite financial child support collec-ported that in 1998, nearly half of chil-mained fairly consistent over the last tions having quadrupled because of adren living in families headed by single twenty years. huge federal and state bureaucracy,women were poor, while only 9 percent The people who gave us the interception of tax returns, jailings,of children from married families were "divorce industry," with its promise midnight arrests, posting of the "10poor. that sole mother custody for the past Most Wanted" lists, booting of cars, A recent report by the USDA (U.S. 30 years would reduce poverty, were etc. the poverty rate of children re-Department ofAgriculture) revealed that wrong. mains essentially unchanged. households headed by females were Many children from single par- And you know what? The facts in much more likely to experience hungerent homes turn out fine, and single "The CRC View" were accurate. than husband-wife households. parents do all they can for their chil- The only way poverty would re- If that news isn't bad enough, wedren. It's just that children's needs ally go down, I stated, was if govern-must keep in mind that the poverty rateare often different from adult needs. ment, the courts and legislatures endfor children at 18.9 percent is still higher Kids need their moms and dads, the powerful grip of the "divorce in-than for any other age group. even if mom doesn't like dad, or dustry" over family life, and encour- CRC legislative intern Carol Baileydad doesn't like mom. age and enforce children having fre-found that for 1998, the following pov- Let's emphasize the two parent quent and continuing contact witherty rates applied: family, preferably in marriage, but both of their parents. Under Age 18 = 18.9% if not marriage, when the parents are The reason this would help is that 18-24 = 16.6% never-married, separated and di- parents who have contact with their 25-34 = 11.9% vorced. We will cut down on pov- children pay far more than parents 35 44 =9.1% ertyfinancial as well as emotional, without such contact, says the Cen- 45-54 = 9.2% moral and spiritual. 00000 o 0000

Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2010$ t CRC Receives 3 Grants Whatds Need

The CRC National Office has re- Talk to Me from "Talking with Kids about Tough Issues," ceived three grants during the year 2000. from the National Initiative by Children Now and the Kaiser Family Fund They are: National Survey a grant from the Annie E. Casey Foundation to establish a website primarily for never- Parents, did you know that your 10 Tips marriedparents.It is kids want to talk to you about impor- www.info4parents.com The tant issues? Kids ages 10-15 want to 1.Start early: Before the teenage Casey grant is also for CRC to know more about how to handle po- years kids turn to their parents. gauge the interest of members of tentially volatile situations, including Around the time of Junior the faith-based community to if someone has a gun at school; High, they look elsewhere for operate a transfer center such as how to know when you are ready answers. CRC operates in various states and to have sex; 2.Initiate conversations with your Washington, D.C.; how to handle peer pressure in child: use simple, short words CRC received a three-year renewal relation to drugs, sex, alcohol; and straightforward explana- for our Maryland access what are STD's and AIDS and tions. (visitation) grant for services to be how to protect against them and 3...Even about sex and provided in Prince George's pregnancy (including birth relationships. Remember, if County. CRC provides neutral control options); and you are uncomfortable talking transfer sites for children, a drinking and driving. to your kids about these issues, Hotline for parents (301 -552- Unfortunately, you do not have your kids will be 8400), amonthly support group much time to discuss these issues. If uncomfortable talking to you. meeting, and referral services for you wait until Junior High, it may be 4. Create an open environment. parenting education, parenting too late. 5. Communicate your values. plans, and mediation. We Many parents do not realize that by 6. Listen to your child: not all previously received this grant for age 10 (and in many cases earlier), important issues are signaled one year, but it has now been some kids are carrying weapons, hav- by ringing bells and whistles. renewed for three years; ing sex, sharing drugs, and drinking al- You must pay attention and CRC received a grant for the third cohol. Obviously not all kids are doing really listen to what your kids yearina row from the this. But the pressure to "just try" one are saying. Washington, D.C. Superior Court of these things is very real and very scary 7. Try to be honest. to provide parenting services in the for your children. And if they do not 8. Be patient. nation's capital. CRC provides a get answers from you, they will seek 9. Use everyday opportunities to Hotline (202-543-8400), referrals, them from someone else. talk. and services, including parenting For separated and divorced fami- 10. Talk about it again and again. classes, neutral drop-off for lies, the challenge to talk to kids be- children, and supervised access. comes even greater. Research shows A website that addresses these is- Many of these services are that children need to be able to talk withsues and helps parents help their chil- provided by CRC's Washington, both parents. Therefore, parents needdren is www.tancingwithIcids.org CRC D.C. chapter headed by Frank to work together to instill similar val-has linked this and many other Banner. The D.C. Superior Court ues and ways to stay safe in potentiallywebsites to our parenting website at administers the grant under Chief dangerous situations. www.info4parents.com Judge Eugene N. Hamilton and Acting Associate Deputy for Court Services Dr. Cheryl Bailey; while Change of Address the funds are provided by the D.C. Important Phone Child Support Office, under To keep newsletters and other Number director Philip Browning and Ms. materials coming, please notify Jessie Ball. CRC three weeks in advance of The phone number for the any address change. Send old and Congressional switchboard, CRC and our chapters need new addresses to CRC, 300 "I" which will reach all offices and Street N.E., Suite 401, Washing- committees, is (202) 225-3121. grant and proposal writers. ton, DC 20002.

4 p Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 7 Jl BESTCOPYAVAILABLE alum II Pean-ercats9 Week 2©©© Hold a Vigil Sept. 27 at 8 P.M. EST Help Publicize "The Best Parent Is Both Parents" Equal Parents' Week islating and enforcing child support andneed and deserve from loving and re- custody laws: namely, a 2-parent focus," sponsible parents through laws or judi- 2000 said Patti Diroff, CRC's Equal Parents' cial discretion. Vetoing shared parenting Just Say YES! Week Coordinator. is a choice. The response of statutes and This year, Equal Parents' Week isjudges should instead require parents to Equal Parents' Week will be heldadvocating that a 2-parent focus be es-make a choice to exercise their first re- September 25 to October 1, 2000. tablished as our national priority, maxi-sponsibility as a parent...to lust say yes" Spread the word to family, friends,mizing the involvement of both parentsto making a commitment to doing what and other organizations to join in tyingto meet all their children's needs with-is truly in children's best interest...to "just purple ribbons, and to join "A Momentout compromising or imposing financial say yes" to unconditionally loving and in Our Hearts, A Moment of Solidar-impediments to nonfinancial forms ofsacrificing for their children...and that ity" by holding public and "Home Vig-child support. means, "Just Say Yes!" to shared ils" on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 To call attention to 2-parent focus is parenting. to make Equal Parents' Week's messagethe "Just Say Yes! to joint custody" cam- Comments, ideas and sugges- stronger than ever. paign. "Just SayYes!" calls attention totions should be directed to Patti "One of the most critical elementsthe problem of parental "veto" whichDiroff at (909) 591-3689 and of family preservation has been and con- unreasonably and arbitrarily [email protected] The Equal tinues to be left out at the local, state,shared parenting and all too often de-Parents' Week website can be viewed at and national levels of government in leg-prives children from the contact theyhttp://members.tripod.com/epweek. Contact Other CRC CRC Training Session Members by E-mail Sept. 16 Send and receive e-mail from other CRC members around the country. CRC will hold an all day meet- If you are a CRC member, e- ing Saturday, Sept 16, 2000 (9 A.M. mail the following message to to 5 P.m.) for chapter heads, chap- Harry Prillaman, CRC Coordina- ter members and members of CRC tor for Georgia, who is supervis- interested in becoming active in ing this service. He can be reached CRC or active in a chapter. Top- From BWI (location 1) to hotel (location 2): 1-195W to at ppilla @us.ibm.com MD-2955, exit on MD-100W, Coca-Cola Dr. exit, Rgt on ics: chapter development, grant de- Dear Harry. I am a national. Coca-Cola, Rgt on Park Circle Dr., Rgt on Parkway Dr. velopment, marketing. CRC member who would like to Location: Ramada Inn, 6 miles from BWI Airport, between Baltimore join the [email protected] and Washington, D.C. The meeting is only $20 per person, lunch included. distribution list. Seating is limited. Friday evening and/or Saturday evening dinner get-together Call the CRC national office optional at individual expense if people are interested. at 202-547-6227 or fax 202 -546- Contact CRC if you wish to attend. 4272 to make sure your national Hotel rooms from $69 to $82 depending on number of occupants. Free membership is current. continental breakfast; free shuttle to BWI. Reserve rooms by calling 1-800- 2RAMADA, ask for Ramada Inn Hanover, MD., ask for special CRC rate. Correction from Last Issue Get a 3.9 percent CRC Credit Card The story about Eloise Anderson, Get the CRC VISA Credit Card, and obtain a low 3.9 percent introductory newest CRC Advisor, should have said rate. The credit card displays the CRC logo, and CRC receives a small contri- that she is the former head of the Cali- bution every time you use the card. CRC receives more if you break up a large fornia Department of Social Services, purchase into several small purchases. For an application, contact CRC, or call who is now Director of the Program for MBNA at 1-800-523-7666. the American Family, Claremont Insti- tute, Sacramento, California.

Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 Letters to the Editor A Way to Adjust the Guideline Editor: I am Eric Bleicken, making my second run for Congress from Cape Ask a state agency working Cod (2nd District of Massachusetts). If elected, I will work to end judicial on child support guidelines in immunity, hold DSS bureaucrats legally accountable, demand that perjury your state to invite Don be prosecuted, schedule hearings on how bogus restraining orders are being Bieniewicz, CRC's expert on used to gain advantage in divorce and custody cases, fight against unconstitu- guidelines, to testify. tional gun seizures, and unreasonable divisions of property. Asking Bieniewicz to testify In my first run from the Cape Cod area in 1998, I took one third of the could help convince your state votes spending only about $8,000 to the incumbent's $800,000. Please help to adopt portions of the only our cause. Thank you. guideline we know of that is based on a child having two par- Eric Bleichen, ents. 170B Pleasant St. This CRC guideline, S. Yarmouth, MA 02664. authored by Bieniewicz, was published by the federal govern- Note: CRC cannot endorse candidates for Congress. But we can print a ment in a publication entitled letter such as the above. "Child Support Guidelines: The Next Generation." Editor: Write to Bieniewicz at I am in awe at the speed at which I received my son's school records 10004 Fairoaks Road, Vienna, after you, Children's Rights Council, called the school principal. VA 22181, contact him via email Let me tell you how fast I received those records that I requested for at [email protected], or almost two years. The same day that I received your letter informing me of phone 703-255-0837 (evenings). your conversation with the school principal is the same day I received the records. They sent them out the day you called them. I would like to thank you personally, Mr. Levy, and the Children's Rights Council.

Michael Short-Brennan Kenedy, TX Bequest in a Will (CRC phoned the U.S. Education Department office that handles the Educational Rights and Privacy ActFERPAwhich has responsibility for CRC thanks longtime CRC making school records available to non-custodial parents, at 202-260-3887. memberJohn Siegmund ofVir- CRC held a three-way phone conversation between an Education Dept. rep- ginia for making a substantial resentative, CRC, and a school official). donation to CRC from the es- tate of his deceased mother, Mary. Mary Siegmund, while she was alive, was a member of Updated Parenting Directory Available CRC. We very much appreciate this contribution, and accept it Help More People! Find out about the 1,050 other groups around the coun- in memory of Mary Siegmund. try working on family issues, so that you can make referrals to parents who call Keep working for children. you and need help. If you wish to consider leaving a See this "CRC Parenting Directory" on one of our websites, bequest or property to CRC, www.info4parents.com Or order a hardcopy or disc from CRC. please state the following in your The directory contains listings of about 1,050 organizations that work in will: "I hereby leave the follow- areas such as custody, access (visitation), and prevention of parental kidnaping to the Children's Rights ping. Council: (state your bequest) ." The website is free. The hardcopy or disc are $12 for CRC members, and Beat the tax man! Contrib- $15 for non-members. CRC thanks Paul Robinson and Ed Mudrak for their ute to CRC! hard work in updating this Directory. Please fax us corrections or updates on information whenever you can, to 202-546-4272. Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 9 Congressional Update Senate Considers $150 Million Fatherhood Bill House Committee Ties Popular Child Support Bill to Fatherhood Bill

The Senate continues to consider a the long-awaited Senate hearing has now "Responsible Fatherhood" bill (S. 1364) been held, there is a strong chance that that would provide $150 million to en- " fatherhood legislation can be worked courage the role of fathers as parents in out between House and Senate versions low-income families and to help fathers this Fall. better provide for their children. Congress is considering the Father- The Senate bill is a counterpart to hood bill as part of its continuing efforts the "Fathers Count Act" (H.R. 3073), Domenici Bayh on welfare reform and welfare-to-work passed by the House of Representatives initiatives. With many mothers now on November 10, 1999, by a vote of 328 Senate Considers Bill to Help coming off welfare, Congress knows that to 93. with Emotional and Financial they must have the financial help of fathers. But the Fatherhood bill goes be- The House Human Resources Sub- Support of Children committee passed the Child Support yond welfare-to-work incentives, and Distribution of Act, H.R. 4678 in June, In an unusual display of unity, aencourages the role of fathers as parents and "attached" the Fatherhood bill todozen different groups, includingin low- income families and to help fa- that Child Support Act. By "re-passing"women's organizations, family organiza- thers better provide for their children. the very same fatherhood bill the Housetions, and CRC, all wrote opposing the Some observers have referred to this passed in 1999, the committee is sayingproposal by House Republicans to in- bill as a parenting bill, because it will have to the Senate: "Pass this legislationwe'llcrease privatization in the bill. CRC's the ultimate purpose of assisting children make it easy for youchild support andview was that companies like Lookheedto have more involvement by both par- fatherhood, all in one package." Martin and Maximus would not reachents in their lives. Some services and pro- Sponsors of the House version ofout to parents the way child support of-grams are expected to reach out to low- both billsThe "Fathers Count Act" andfices are increasing doing. House Re-income mothers and divorced parents. the "Child Support Distribution Act,"publicans dropped the privatization pro- Previous legislation that helped par- are Reps. Nancy Johnson (R-CT) andvision and asked the groups to now sup-ents to function as parents is the $10 Ben Cardin (D-MD). port the amended bill. million a year in access (visitation) funds The Child Support bill would provide A hearing was held July 25 on thethat Congress has provided to the states more child support money to familiesFatherhood legislation by the Senate Fi-since 1997. leaving welfare and simplify the rules gov- nance Committee's Subcommittee on Sponsors of the Senate Fatherhood erning the assignment and distribution ofSocial Security and Family Policy, un-bill are Sens. Pete Domenici (R-NM) child support collected by the states. der Sen. Don Nickles (R-OK). Becauseand Evan Bayh (D-IN).

Amicus Briefs May be Available Chapter Needed If your case is on appeal, and you would like CRC to in NYS consider writing an amicus brief, contact CRC. CRC cannot handle cases at the trial level, and we do not write the CRC needs to develop a new main appeal brief. An amicus brief is a supplemental brief, chapter in upstate New York. The telling the court why this case is of significance not only to chapter might be able to run an the parties in the case, but to other children and families access grant. For information, con- as well. We generally need 30 to 60 days before the filing tact CRC at 202-547-6227 or call deadline. Kim Frey at 607/785-9338.

Page 10 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring, 2000 Co j7crooteee,47eice.a. Some Remedies Divorce onChildren; and The NegativeEffects of Patrick F. Faganand Robert Rector The HeritageFoundation suffer the divorceof their parents; more- than 1 millionAmerican children married will seetheir parents Each year more born this year toparents who are the over, halfof the children in social sciencejournals demonstrates divorce before theyturn 18.Mounting evidence divorce is having onthese children emotional, andfinancial effects that broad and lasting devastating physical, future generations:Among those will last well intoadulthood and affect increasingly the victimsof health,behavioral effects are: have divorced are and have * Children whose parents frequently in crimeand drug abuse, problems, areinvolved more and emotional likely to higher rates of suicide: and math, are more perform more poorlyin reading, spelling * Children of divorce college graduation drop-out rates andlower rates of by fifty percent. repeat a gradeand to have higher the divorce, seetheir income drop children that were notpoor before and better familylife. These * Families with better health,longer marriages, worship has been seento contribute to * Religious following ways: after the parentsdivorce. back into oursociety, in the areas drop restoration of thevalue of marriage The authorsrecommend a divorce; resolution, a nationalgoal of reducing * Establish, by demonstration programs; * Establishpro-marriage strengthen marriage; surplus welfarefunds be used to and divorce; * Mandate that for gatheringstatistics on marriage * Rebuild thefederal-state system health campaign; * Create a public always-married coupleswhen * Give a one-timetax credit to Shared ParentingMoke their youngestchildren reach 18. Widespread state laws should: than Commonly Governing marriage, divorce rate; Believed * Establish agoal to reduce the children to married coupleswith minor * Require A recently releasedreport fro complete divorceeducation; Bureau provides the U.S. Census community-wide marriageprograms; new evidence that sharedparenting is * Promote with children under more widespreadthan commonly believed. divorce for parents The 1998 * End "no-fault" Survey of ProgramDynamics age 18; 2000, is (S PD), releasedin May, option available to a follow-up ofa population survey * Make theCovenant Marriage undertaken originally which lengthensthe process for in 1992. In 1998, engaged couples, for joint legal the Mcludedcategories obtaining of a divorceby two years. and joint physical Heritage Foundation time. Previous custody for the first CRC hasrecommended to the Census surveysrequired children both parents as wayof reported as eitherliving with to be that they includegreater access to mother or livingwith fa- marriages. TheCensus Bureau ther, with childrenin shared custody assisting in encouraging amount of shared between these situations divided has found that stateswith the highest categories. subsequently have thelowest divorce Basedon this government physical custody this rec- data, CRC estimates Heritage Foundationis considering shared custodyat approximately rates. The increase zero in 1980, withan of just underone point a year between ommendation. and 1991, and increasing 1980 by aboutone point a year (except the CRCrecommendation) are since then. CRC'smodel estimates The above facts entitled The Effects vorced families had that 11.9% ofdi- from the article byFagan and Rector shared physicalcustody in I 992, Heritage Foundation with nearly 20%in 1999. of Divorce onAmerica in The article, visit Shared physicalcustody requiems Backgrounder. Forcopies of the that a childspent at least 30% of hisor her time with www. heritage. org/ library/backgrounder/bg1373.html. round basis. a parent on a year- Foundation is aconservative think tank The Heritage For further information, based in Washington,D.C. Evaluator contact Rick Kuhn,CRC of Research,care of CRC.

From Volume 15, Number 2, Summer 2000, Speak Out for Children, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite,01,Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 phone (202) 547-6227

4 5 BEST COPY AVAILABLE WCP

IN THE COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC)

We are #1513 in the Children's Charities of America (CCA). Look for CRC's listing in the index of the CFC Brochure, then turn to the page given for CCA's members. You may donate to CRC online at our website at www.gocrc.com

Children's Charities The Children's Rights Council works to assure that children of separation and divorce obtain as much of Americaemotional and financial support as children of intact marriages.

Some of CRC's accomplishments:

41 Credited with being the organization that convinced Congress, for the first time in history, to provide funds for access/visitation demonstration programs in 1988;

40 The results of the above 1988 grants were so positive that in the 1996 Welfare Reform Law, Congress provided $10 million a year for all 50 states and jurisdictions to provide access/visitation programs;

Publicized findings in 1998 from Census Bureau and National Center for Health Statistics that the states with the highest amount of joint physical custody in 1989-1990 had the lowest divorce rates in the subsequent years 1991-1995;

Publicized findings that children with two parents generally have fewer problems with drugs and crimes than children with only one parent. Obtained changes in attitudes and laws in order to encourage a child's bonding to two parents and extended family;

Promoted the school-based "Banana Splits" program to help children of separation and divorce channel the transition in their lives into stronger academic achievement;

CRC and its chapters established transfer sites for children, parenting education and other programs in MD, VA, IL, NY, NE, OH and Washington, D.C.

411 Provided assistance to parents and professionals on how to get through the divorce process in the most peaceful, problem-free way, so as to take the stress out of divorce. Money that would be spent on battling between parents is available for the children.

CRC only receives funds that you actually designate!

The Children's Rights Council is a national non-profit organization at 300 "I" St., NE #401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389. Phone: 202/547-6227 Fax: 202/546-4272. See our web sites at www.gocrc.com and www.info4parents.com

To obtain a copy of our Catalog of Resources, Directory of Parenting Organizations, Affiliation Book, Annual Report, or latest audit, write or call CRC. Thank you.

PLEASE COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST IN FEDERAL OFFICES, POST OFFICES, AND MILITARY ASES. 6 IN UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC).

CRC works to strengthen families through education and advocacy. We favor family formation and family preservation, but if families break up, or are never formed, we work to assure a child the frequent and continuing contact with two parents and extended family the child would normally have during marriage. Our motto is "The Best Parent is Both Parents."

For the child's benefit, CRC favors parenting education before marriage, during marriage, and in the event of separation. We work to demilitarize divorce between parents who are involved in marital disputes, substituting mediation for the adversarial process, and providing for emotional and financial child support. We also favor school-based programs for children at risk. There are several ways you can contribute to the Children's Rights Council:

through the Combined Federal Campaign if you work for the federal government at any federal office, post office, or military base;

41 in the Washington, D.C. and San Francisco Bay Area United Way campaigns;

in the Virginia and Maryland State Employee Campaigns;

if you wish to contribute to CRC through a United Way where we are not listed, please ask your employer if you can designate (write in) the Children's Rights Council;

in corporate campaigns throughout the United States; or

110 if you wish to contribute directly to CRC, write to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389. Contributions accepted on Visa, MC, or AMEX credit cards.

You may donate to the Children's Rights Council on our Website at www.gocrc.com You may also visit us at www.info4parents.com All contributions are tax-de uctible. CHILDREN FIRST! THANK YOU! To join, or for more information, call (202) 547-6227.

300 "I" Street N.E.Suite 401 Washington, D.C. 20002 Telephone (202) 547-6227 Fax (202) 546-4CRC (4272)

COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST FOR UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS. 440 it7 Around the Country Contribute to the Non-Custodial Parents Quilt chii)ReoRiGiits Cxecil- Serge Prengel, PARENTS HOTLINE 202.543.3900 for hdp with: (int* km (Visitation) Mediation Support Groom New York City CRC In PC County n40301.552 8400

CRC's "Quilt" is a They're all different,limns! collection of photo- and yet, they're all ex- 3 CRC Interns (1 to r) graphs of divorced pressions of how pre- parents with their cious the parent-child Carnright, Gianotti, Randall, children that is on relationship is, and at Fathers Day Rally permanent display on how much it means to the internet us. When you click on (wwwbetterifmarecom/ any picture on the Fathers Day Rally quilt, you can go to a The quilt honors page where that pic- Nearly 100 people gathered on Fa- the love of the unseen parents the non-ture is bigger, and the parent has de-thers Day to march from the White custodial parents who cannot be as in-scribed in a few words the family's situa-House to the Capitol as part of volved with their children as they'd like tion. "FathersDay2000." This was an effort to to be. The quilt is divided into two sections, support the tens of thousands of dads There is symbolic value in this quilt. the fathers' section and the mothers' sec-nationwide who, organizers noted, are For one thing, this virtual quilt works thetion, to clearly affirm that children needkept from participating in the rearing of same way a real quilt does. As individual both a mother and a father. This is intheir children. Speakers shared personal non-custodial parents, we feel that ourline with CRC's missionwe believe thatstories and called for new laws to pro- love for our children is not seen by thechildren need continued contact with tect their rights as caregivers. world, just as the pieces of fabric thatboth parents after divorce, and we work Marchers came from all over the make up a quilt are relatively insignifi-to keep both parents involved in the lives country and from various backgrounds. cant by themselves. Put together, our ca-of their children. The quilt is a work inThe crowd included men, women, and pacity to give love and warmth becomesprogress that is expanding as more lov-children. Representatives of the more visible to all. ing parents submit pictures. Stop by theChildren's Rights Council showed sup- When you look at the quilt, you'llwebsite to learn more about the Quiltport for the march's theme of equal cus- be struck by the variety of situations andand see how you can become a part oftody rights for fathers and mothers. CRC moods captured by these snapshots.it www.betterdivorce.com /quilt/ Interns Amy Carnright, Janee Gianotti, and Jennifer Randall carried a CRC banner and handed out CRC newsletters. The crowd, although small, has been CRC Needs growing in number over the three years since David Wilson and Greg Romeo * Free or reduced-fee office space. Get a tax write-off as you help kids began organizing the march. Pictures of and CRC. 1,200 square feet or more anywhere in the Washington, the march can be seen on the website D.C. area (Maryland, D.C. or Virginia). . Plans are alreadyinthe works fora * A new photocopy machine. Fathersllay2001. * Volunteers to help with filing, phone calls, and writing letters. * Our chapters need computers. * Lawyers to write CRC Amicus Briefs on appeal. We thank Bladen Lithographics in Our chapters around the country could use Gaithersburg, MD for office space, photocopiers, and volunteers, too! providing printing services to CRC.

Page 14 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring p00 46$ battles, which have been noted by the Here are some important bills and resolutions in Congress affecting fami- American Bar Association and other lies. Write to your House member or Senator to let them know what you organizations. America must deal with think of a particular bill. They do not get enough mail on issues of concern to false abuse accusations in order to help CRC members. So contact them! Let them know what sort of legislation you children who really have been abused, would like to see passed! as officials in Texas and other states have Write decided. Senator (name) Representative (name) The Senate has two other VAWA Washington, D.C. 20510 Washington, D.C. 20515 measures. S. 245, was introduced in January 1999 by Sen. Orrin Hatch (R- UT) and referred to the Judiciary Com- mittee. Another bill, S. 1321, was re-in- House Bills Senate Judiciary Committee, 202 -224-troduced by Sen. Paul Wellstone (D- 8081, Study of Child Custody Laws inWI) which did not pass in the earlier Bills Affecting Child Domestic Violence Cases, introduced bysession of Congress. As part of that bill, Custody Stalking Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE), Authorizes thesupervised visitation centers would be Prevention Attorney General to make grants toestablished for children who witness States and Indian tribal governments todomestic violence at home. The bill H.R. 1869, the Stalking Preventionenable them to enter into contracts andwould also increase the role of schools and Victim Protection Act, passed the cooperative agreements to assist publicin providing assistance. House, referred to Senate Judiciary or private non-profit entities in establish- Committee, 202-224-8081, sponsored ing and operating supervised visitation Bills Affecting Financial by Rep. Sue Kelly (D-NY). A compan- centers for purposes of facilitating super- Child Support ion Senate measure was introduced invised visitation and visitation exchange January 2000 by Sen. John Ashcroft (S. of children by and between parents. Denial of Passports 2011). A similar bill (S. 1660) sponsored Requires that priority be given to States by Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison was pre-that consider domestic violence in mak- H.R. 521. Denial of Passports to viously introduced. The bills would ing a custody decision and require find-Noncustodial Parents in Cases of Non- amend Title 18 of the U.S. Code andings on the record. Currently in the Sen-payment of Child Support. Introduced broaden the definition of stalking in in- ate Judiciary Committee. by Rep. Robert Andrews (D-NJ). Re- terstate or foreign commerce to apply to Write to Sen. Biden, Senate Judi- ferred to House International Relations those who act "with the intent to injureciary Committee, and your Senator, stat-Committee and the House Subcommit- or harass" another person and engageing that Congress has already providedtee for International Operations and in conduct "that places an individual, afor the exchange sites we seek, but in a Human Rights. It is a bill that would deny member of their immediate family ormore general, family-friendly way, in thepassports to noncustodial parents sub- intimate partner in reasonable fear" of1996 Welfare Reform Law. CRC seeksject to State arrest warrants in cases of death or bodily injury. an increase in funding for those access/nonpayment of child support awards. The bills would not take the place ofvisitation/parenting programs. Write to Chairman Benjamin A. state anti-stalking statutes but would pro- S. 51, Sec. 302, Senate JudiciaryGilman, (R-NY), House International vide for federal prosecution where aCommittee, Directs the Attorney Gen-Relations Committee and Chairman stalker threatens an individual by tele-eral to study and report to Congress onChristopher Smith (R-NJ), House Sub- phone, mail, or e-mail. The bills indi-Federal and State laws relating to child committee for International Operations cate that stalking includes "harassment,"custody, including the Parental Kidnap- and Human Rights, Washington, D.C. a term not defined in U.S. statutes. Be-ping Prevention Act of 1980, and their20515, asking that passports should also cause harassment is a charge frequentlyeffect on child custody cases in whichbe denied to individuals in violation of leveled by one parent against anotherdomestic violence is a factor. Requirescustody and access/visitation orders. during divorce, the bill will almost cer-study to examine the burdens and risks tainly lead to greater abuse of court re-encountered by victims of domestic vio- Bankruptcy Reform Act straining orders by vindictive parents.lence arising from compliance with the Provisions Would Under the new proposals, no clear guide- full faith and credit (and judicial juris- Prioritize Financial Child lines are given for the removal of restrain- diction) requirements of that Act. Support ing orders. Write to your Senator and Sen. The Ashcroft bill is being consideredBiden stating that Sec. 302 of the pro- The Bankruptcy Reform Act of by the Constitutional Subcommittee ofposed law should direct the Attorney1999, H.R. 833, introduced by Rep. the Senate Judiciary Committee, (202-General to also report on the frequencyGeorge Gekas, passed in the House on 224- 8081). of use and effect of false allegations of S. 51, Title II, combined with S. 245, abuse in the midst of custody (visitation) Continued on page 16

2000 Speak Out For Children Page 15 Child Custody Child Support including child development, family bud- Continued from page 15 Disbursement Unit geting, health and nutrition, and other skills to promote their long-term eco- May 5, 1999. A similar measure from S.1033, passed by House and Sen-nomic independence and well-being of Sen. Grassley (R-IA) was considered byate. Child Support Penalty Fairness Act. their children. the Senate, S. 625. Senator Hatch (RUT)introduced by Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D- CRC recommends writing to Sen. in November, 1999, gave a speech on theCA). Referred to Senate Finance Com-Moynihan to ask that connecting chil- Senate floorwhere he proposed strength-mittee. It is a bill to amend Title IV ofdren to both of the child's parents be ening the protection of child support ob-the Social Security Act to coordinate thepart of the bill. ligations during bankruptcy proceedings. penalty for the failure of a State to oper- The Senate voted to act on HR 833 whichate a State child support disbursement passed the Senate on February 2, 2000, unit with the alternative penalty proce- CRC Wants Chapters and the bill went to a conference com-dure for failures to meet data process- in Every State mittee to reconcile differences betweening requirements. House and Senate versions. The bill is expected to be signed into Bills to Strengthen Family CRC WANTS CHAPTERS IN law by President Clinton by the time you Life and Marriage EVERY STATE! GO CRC!! receive this newsletter. Overall, the bill For development of chapters in gives greater protection to collect sup- H. Res. 280, states that do not yet have any CRC port obligations than current law pro- passed the House chapters: vides. The new law would ensure that on June 12, 2000, Re: states out west, contact CRC available assets first go to pay a support sponsored by Rep. Board Member from the chapters obligation, before credit card debt, tax Vernon J. Ehlers Terry Cady in Illinois. obligation, or any other debt. Previously, (R-MI), referred to Re: states in the south, contact certain obligations, such as taxes, were the Senate. Recog- Board Advisor from the chapters to be discharged prior to child support nizes the impor- Fred Wall in North Carolina. arrearages. The new law would change tance of strong mar- Re: states in the east, contact Eh lens that priority, and if there are any assets, riage in general, and Board Advisor from the chapters they would go first to child support. Thethe Greater Grand Rapids Community Margaret Wuwert in Ohio. new bill also toughens requirements thatMarriage Policy in particular. That policy See their names and numbers on the bankruptcy trustee notify personsoutlines a menu for a successful mar- page 30. owed child support and government col-riage, including not marrying too young, For states in the east, you may lection agencies of the pending bank-finishing school, choosing a mate with also contact Ron Pilcher, 513/755- ruptcy proceeding. similar values, dating at least a year be- 2932. For further information, contactfore marriage, completing a premarital Join CRC, then ask for a copy House Subcommittee on Commercialcourse, waiting to cohabit until after mar- of the 100-page CRC booklet that and Administrative Law, 202/225-2835.riage, emphasizing the positive, sharing explains everything you need to household duties, worshiping together, know about affiliation. The cost of Bill Would Require IRS having fun together, and remembering the booklet is $15.00. to Collect Support that commitment is the foundation to successful marriage. Urge your Senators H.R.1488, hearing held by Houseto pass this Resolution. Entelliectuai Property Human Resources Subcommittee, 202- S. 208 Enhanc- Protection 225 -1025, but bill not expected to be ing Family Life Act, passed. Compassion for Children and sponsored by Sen. . Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained Child Support Enforcement Act of 1999 DanielPatrick trademark protection for the name introduced by Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL). Moynihan was re- and logo "Children's Rights Coun- This bill would require the Internal Rev- ferred to the Fi- cil" and the name and logo for our enue Service to collect and disburse child nance Committee. newsletter "Speak Out for Chil- support payments. A hearing was held by It would provide dren" is a specialist in trademark, the Human Resources subcommittee of "second chance patent, copyright, and licensing law. the Ways and Means Committee (202/ homes" to custodial Moynihan He is a partner in the law firm of 225-1025) on March 16, 2000. State child parents under age Ohlandt, Greeley, Ruggiero and support administrators and other child 19 and their chil- Perle, 1 Landmark Square, Suite support experts oppose federalizing child dren where they would have a support- 903, Stamford, CT 06901, tele- support, and the bill is not expected toive and supervised living arrangement phone (203) 327-6067. be approved by the subcommittee. and be required to learn parenting skills,

Page 16 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 50 Disabuse Congress of the Notion that Shared Please photocopy or retype this letter Parenting is Linked to and send to your House member. Violence Get your friends to write, also!

An anti-joint custody provision originally appeared in Section 241 of H.R. Date 3514, the Violence Against Women Act Your address (VAWA) II and a 1998 House Joint Resolution (HJR 182), which thanks in Congress member (add name) part to efforts of CRC members was not U.S. House of Representatives adopted. Washington, D.C. 20515 A similar anti shared parenting provision was re-inserted in the 1999 ver- Dear sion of the Violence Against Women Act, H.R. 357, introduced by Rep. John I ask you to please oppose Title VI, Sec. 601 of H.R. 3315 (The Ready Conyers (D-Mich) and supported by 178 Actreducing the Effects of Abuse and Domestic Violence on Youth). I am co-sponsors. CRC members were urged concerned that the language of the resolution might mistakenly convey an to write to Congress opposing the "pri- impression to federal, state, or local policymakers that domestic violence shares mary caretaker" parent language in Sec- a link in some manner with shared custody. tion 241. This would be a terrible disservice to all children at risk from family vio- So many of you wrote in opposition lence. There is abundant evidence that the great majority of child victims of to that anti-joint resolution, that oppo- physical abuse and neglect live in single parent homes. By contrast, the inci- nents of shared parenting have now "wa- dence of child abuse and neglect of children in shared legal and physical cus- tered down" the anti-joint custody reso- tody arrangements is very low. Children raised without their fathers as well as lution. mothers are twice as likely to be victims of abuse and five times as likely to live We must oppose that resolution, in poverty compared to children both of whose parents, dads and moms, par- also, but first let us explain that CRC is ticipate in the parenting process. very concerned about family violence, The language of the resolution is over-broad. and the need to prevent it and treat it. The use of the terms "history of domestic violence" and "abuse" might be Family violence is not acceptable. CRC subject to overly-expansive interpretation. States should design their own spe- works with advocates to prevent and re- cific, detailed statutory criteria narrowly tailored to those limited instances in duce family violence. which shared or joint custody would be inappropriate. Researchers have found that there is For example, although the District of Columbia starts with a presumption no link between shared parenting and for joint custody, there is an exception in those instances where a judicial of- family violence. Quite the reverse. Fam- ficer finds by a preponderance of the evidence that an in tra-fam ily offense as ily violence, as well as other societal defined in the D.C. Code has taken place. problems, including high crime and drug Most parents are loving and fit, and thus shared parenting should not be rates, lower academic performance, discouraged, even through a well-intended resolution. teenage suicide, promiscuity, and other society problems, are linked to a different kind of family structurethe single Sign your name parent family. Many children of single-parent households turn out fine, but statistically, It is the sense of Congress that for Stabenow anti-social behaviors have been linkedthe purpose of determining child cus- Running for Senate for the past 30 by all researchers to atody, it is not in the best of children to: lack of two parents in a child's life. force parents to share custody over Rep. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), a As just one example, the 6 year old the objection of one or both long time advisor to the CRC, is run- boy who shot and killed a 6 year old girl parents where there is a history of ning for the Senate in Michigan this in a school in Michigan was growing up domestic violence; or Fall. When she was a member of the a crack house without either his father make "friendly parent' provisions state senate in Michigan, Stabenow or his mother. a factor when there is abuse of one strengthened the "Friend of the The watered down version of the parent against another or a child. Court" provision to provide for expe- anti-joint custody resolution in H.R. dited handling of access complaints. 3315 states: Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 17 a0 BEST' COPY AVAILABLE Children's Rights Council 2000 CATALOGOF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANIC BOOKS DISCOUNTED! Buy at Discount Sc Sell for Full Price to Your Group Make $$$ or Give Copies to Educate Judgesor Policymakers Discounted Books Are in Bold Type

BOOKS FOR KIDS BOOKS FOR PARENTS NEW! 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co- A Heart Full of Love, written by Bette S. Margolis, illus- parents and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, trated by Christie L. Kline. A wonderful book for that spe- and Step-family situations. cial 7- to 9-year-old in your life who is undergoing parental SB-201 $9.95 divorce. SB-101 $15.00 Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. HB-203 $6.00 HB-102 $16.95 The Divorce Help Source Book, by Margorie Engel, Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by CNN's Larry King and 1994. Combines sound advice with hundreds of poten- Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both tial sources of help to assist you in getting the results a child's and a father's perspective. you deserve. SB-103 $12.95 SB-204 Reg. $17.95 *Discount Price $7.00 How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad- Divorced Dads, Shattering the Myths, vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. The sur- one-of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents prising truth about fathers, children and as they reshape their lives post-divorce. divorce. SB-104 Reg. $9.95 *Discount Price $4.00 HB-205 $24.95 rat120j3111= I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps =M1,1.111, I,ar,,14.3110, For the Sake of the Children, by Kris children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. how to share your children with your ex-spouse de- SB-105 $4.95 spite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, HB-206 Reg. $18.95 *Discount Price $9.00 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be better than one. Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. SB-106 $12.00 Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by impact of divorce on children through different stages Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help of their lives. SB-207 children understand divorce and sends a Reg. $22.50 *Discount Price $5.00 good message. SB-107 $5.99 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par- ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate hon- gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as est and open communication between adults and children partners, not enemies. at the traumatic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for SB-208 $23.00 kids. SB-108 $15.95 The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- Area Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where Body for Boys." parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. SB-109 Reg. $11.95 *Discount Price $6.00 HB-209 $23.00 52 A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A bookFamilyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communi- the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. cating values. SB-210 Reg. $10.00 *Discount Price $5.00 HB-220 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $10.00

Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc-The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own re- Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC search, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) information. for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 SB-211 Reg. $22.95 *Discount Price $10.00 each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for REVISED! $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it. two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their, to this classic book! names). SB-212 $20.00 SB-221 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 Individual copies $10.00 Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995.Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nation- realized, strengthen families and relationships. ally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. SB-213 $14.00 HB-222 $25.00

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce,The Sibling Society, by Robert Bly, 1996, author of "Iron by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. John." Describes our culture as one where adults remain SB-214 Reg. $16.95 *Discount Price $7.00 children, and children have no desire to become adults-a nation of squabbling siblings. Putting Kids First, by Michael HB-223 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $12.00 Oddenino. A must read for caring parents and professionals, by CRC's General NEW! Counsel. Includes a children's bill of rights. Ceasefire, by Cathy Young, 1999, syndi- SB-215 $9.95 cated columnist. Why women and men must join forces to achieve true equality; how that Second Chances,byJudith will help children, too. HB-224 $25.00 Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. Lir Based on ten year longitudinal study of the effects of Saying No Is Not Enough, by Richard divorce on adults and children. Schwebel, Ph.D., 1989. Raising children who HB-216 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price $5.00 make wise decisions about drugs and alcohol. Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par- SB-225 $11.00 ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still validAbolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher, 1996, in discussing the problems of children being raised by syndicated columnist. How we destroy lasting love. single parents. HB-226 $25.00 SB-217 Reg. $14.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Friends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, REVISED! 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne daughters. Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough HB-227 $29.00$ Parenting" and "Winning the Custody War Without Casual- ties" Talking Back to Ritalin, by Peter R. SB-218 $24.95 Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. What doctors aren't telling you about the dan- 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, gers of stimulants. 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- HB-228 $25.00 pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. HB-219 $19.50 BOOKS FOR STEPPARENTS The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. Visher, Ph.D. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. HB-506 $19.95 The co-founders of the Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and give sug- Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to gestions on how to make stepfamilies work. Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M. HB-301 $13.95 Berger, 1996. SB-507 $22.00 Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/ Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, New Rules, by Claire Berman, 1986. Former president 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical and desires. help and insights. SB-509 Reg. $5.99 *Discount Price $3.00 SB-302 $7.95 Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-sell- Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Ma la Burt for High's ing book for fathers who want to maintain contact the Stepfamily Association of America. with their children. SB-303 $9.95 SB-510 $12.50 BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS The Divorced Parent: Success Strategies for Raising Your Children After Separation, by Grandparenting in a Changing World, by Edna Stephanie Marston, 1994. Provides practical advice and Le Shan, 1997. "Common sense presented with uncom- specific tools for raising well-adjusted children. mon grace." -Kirkus Reviews. HB-511 $21.00 SB-401 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wise notes from a new dad in the real world. BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS HB-512 Reg. $22.00 *Discount Price $11.00 Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A Journey, by CRC's own Serge Prengel, collection of stories on being a man at midlife in 1998. Published with praise from Warren America, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. Farrell, Karen DeCrow, and James A. Cook. HB-513 Reg. $21.95 *Discount Price $11.00 SB-2501 $13.95 CligIVZ, Child Custody Made Simple, byWebster CU.51:1Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about Surviving Divorce-Women's Re- ."-'6"'1-744' child custody and child support for a single sources After Separation, by Mavis Maclean, 1991. parent. Women coping with earnings, maintenance and welfare in --/14 SB-514 $21.95 the U.S., France, and Great Britain. IREILSTUt %Unlit HB-502 $5.00The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Card,1996. A plan for managing your money when you are the only Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story, by one your family can count on. John Thorndike, 1996. A memoir of Thorndike's life with SB-515 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price $6.00 his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make regarding their son's life. Questions from Dad, by CRC Spokesperson andpop HB-503 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $12.00 singer Dwight Twilley, 1994. A very cool way to communicate with your child. Introduced by Dr. Susan Forward. Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. SB-516 $17.00 Shows the devastating consequences of fatherlessnessI Am the Mother of Sons. Poems by Jayne Jaudon Ferrer, in both individual families and in our society. 1996. Illustrated by Lina Levy. HB-504 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 HB-517 $10.00 The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu-Men on Divorce-The Other Side of the Story, ed- linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents theargu- ited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Spano, 1997. ment that American men are in crisis and includes what SB-518 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 lead to this phenomenon. HB-505 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 One Swell Dad, by Pat Ross, 1992.The book of memories and expressions of fatherly endearment from the past. HB-519 $9.00 MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce/Custody Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Law- yers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Subculture of Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights of Wil- 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase sys- liams Dawes, Esq., 1997. tem to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom SB-707 $15.00 litigation. HB-601 $45.00 Every Parent's Guide to the Law, by Deborah L. Forman. Everything you need to know about legal issues Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults affecting parents and children pre-birth through the child- Recover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., rearing years. CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth SB-708 $18.00 Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-602 $15.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING

Parent Vs. Parent: How You and Your Child CanNEW! Autographed Copies! Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman,They Are My Children, Too, by Catherine Meyer, 1999. M.D., 1990. Expert advice for parents through all stages of Powerful account of a mother's loss of her children. A case the divorce process. of international parental kidnapping. Written by CRC's new $20.95 HB-603 Honorary President. HB-801 $23.00 Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Divorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca fundamental skills of negotiation conflict resolution Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents and mediation, for everyone's good. searching for their children and abductors who have taken SB-604 Reg. $13.95 *Discount Price $6.00 them; also makes public policy recommendations. HB-902 $22.95 LEGAL ISSUES CHILD ABUSE NEW! Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong, From Courtship to Courtroom: What 1996. False accusations of child abuse: A road map for Divorce Law Is Doing to Mariage, by survivors that helps to answer their questions. Jed H. Abraham, 2000. Abraham, a lawyer, SB-901 $15.95 mediator, and joint custody advocate, writes a chilling picture of how today's divorce laws make life miserable for families. The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A SB-701 $15.00 guide for mental health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authorita- A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, tive work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome. 1997. A discussion of a divorced father's SB-903 $35.00 struggle with the child custody industry. Children Held Hostage, Dealing with HB-703 Reg. $21.00 Programmed and Brainwashed Chil- *Discount Price $10.00 dren, by Stanley S. Clawar, Ph.D., C.C.S. and Brynne Rivlin, M.S.S., 1991. This book is approved by the Ameri- The Custody Revolution, by Richard can Bar Association. Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and the SB-904 $50.00 Motherhood Mystique. HB-604 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $15.00Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D., a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. A Custody for Fathers, by Car leen and Michael Brennan, comprehensive guide to recognizing, preventing, and han- 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have dling child abuse and neglect. helped fathers win (share) custody of their children in SB-905 $12.00 a mom-biased system. HB-705 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $12.00The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gel les, 1996. A con- J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- tem and its effects on divorcing couples. fare system. HB-706 $10.95 HB-906 $23.00 The Abuse ExcuseAnd Other Cop-Outs, by noted PINS AND BUTTONS lawyer Alan Dershowitz, 1994. Sob stories and evasions of responsibility. The famous "Children First" HB-908 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 vti1C7 pin. 8 colors, with figures of seven children standing on CIRM1.51-1FNI nnaT a field of green with logo VIDEOS "ChildrenFirst."Two prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" wide. Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth P101 $8.00 Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own experience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- Button created by Patti Diroff that says award winning video prepared by CRC's National Parent "Child support is more than a check, it's Education Director. being a parent." With CRC logo, including V101 $25.00 children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2-1/4" diameter. Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- B202 $2.00 ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. T-SHIRTS V102 $20.00 CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help Stop Crime, Give Children 2 Par- Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- ents" Specify size: child S, M, L; tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, Adult S, M, L, XL. Specify color: M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- white or blue. ate the child against the other parent. $10 adults, $8 children V103 $25.00 MUGS REPORTS Each white ceramic mug says "Children's UPDATED 1997, Interference with Access (Visitation) as Rights Council" and "The Best Parent is Tort. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. Both Parents." A Mark Roseman creation. R101 $10.00 $8 each or two for $15. Send for a list of other reports. Add $2 for shipping first mug, $1 each additional mug.

1111 AMMO AMMIL MOM AMEN AM _MEL MOMM_MMOMIMMO AMEMJIMMI AMMICAMMV ONOO_MMEMJIMMII AMEN 111111M_MMEM _IMAM MMEM_MOMO AMEN MONO. MMEM_MEMIL MIIMM_IMEMJIIMMO ANEW.= 1_=1_11=_Mil _MI I I I Order Form I I ITitle Total enclosed 1 Title MC, VISA, AMEX # 1 Title exp. date I 1 Title I I Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. I I Total Suite 401 I S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 I $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 I Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 I I SHIP ORDER TO: INAME: ADDRESS: I CITY: STATE: ZIP: I I ----im. mom ....-....- ....-.... mom momMOM ME AMMO OMMO MM. IMMVOMMI MEW MEW =M-I NM- -11111101-1- =-11111111--111 Page 22 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 5 6 11 CRC Interns Have Productive Summer

(1 to r) Randall, Carnright, Blackwell, Chavez, Clavecillas (I to r) Bailey, Shark, Dorris, B. Gilmore and M. Gilmore

Maggiacomo (1 to r)Yang and Gianotti CRC Office Manager Helps Interns

11 students from colleges all across Many students come to Washington Tabitha Blackwell, a junior at the country signed up to be interns at every year; some sign up to work for a Campbell University in North CRC this summer. Congressmember of work for a public Carolina; Interns represent CRC on Capi-service agency such as CRC. Some Connie Yang, University of tol Hill, where they discuss family lawspend full time with CRC; others attend Pennsylvania. legislation with Congressional staff,a few classes in addition to the unpaid work on special projects like the pressinternship. Amy Carnright, who enters her conference to present awards to 7 This summer was the first time CRC senior year at St. Joseph's states (see elsewhere in this newslet-had an intern from a service academy University in Philadelphia; ter), assist in fundraising projects, help Janee Gianotti, a cadet captain at the Air Jennifer Randall came to CRC parents who call the office for help, Force Academy in Colorado. straight from a semester of study monitor the courts, do research on We had two law student interns, and internship for a member of children's needs, and other projects. Melissa Dorris, University of Illinois Law parliament in London: she is a CRC has had about 200 collegeSchool, and Stephanie Shark, Temple junioratNotreDame students over the years, some of whomUniversity Law School. They worked on University in Indiana; sign up after seeing our year-roundlegal issues for CRC. request for interns on our internet site, Mike Gilmore, a student who is Joy Clavecillas came to CRC www.gocrc.com blind, attends the University of Califor- after two years of study in Paris. CRC also obtains interns fromnia at Davis. He interned with his brother She attends George three different Washington based or-Brian, who just graduated from high Washington University in ganizations, the Fund for Americanschool. Washington, D.C. Studies, Washington Semester pro- Other summer interns: gram, and American University's in- Carol Bailey, who graduated in CRC Office Manager Julie tern program, that enlist students from June from the University ofMaggiacomo, who has an M.A. in colleges. Washington; world politics, helped the interns.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 23 57 [n] ©oc rrj-Co

Maryland Can Use DNA the majority. educate their children without undue to Challenge Support The decision stems from three casesintervention by the state. This parental involving two men and three childrenright is rooted in the Due Process Clause From the Washington Post, July 2,now in or entering their teensthe menof the Fourteenth Amendment. 2000Maryland's highest court has once acknowledged to have fathered. The Children's Rights Council ruled that men who have legally acknowl- A Talbot County man, identifiedstrongly supports the right of parents to edged fathering a child can challengeonly as Tyrone W., entered a paternitybe primarily responsible for their chil- those paternity agreements, even severalagreement with his ex-girlfriend after she dren, but recognizes the unique contri- years later. Judges who dissented fromgave birth in 1989. Though he did notbutions grandparents play in their the court's opinion predicted that itrequest a blood test, he believed he hadgrandchildren's lives. could leave countless children "father-fathered her son, T.R, and agreed to pay This was the point we made on na- less and without support." child support. tional media, including an appearance The hotly debated 4 to 3 decision But years later, the woman beganon the Today show by CRC President by the state Court of Appeals marksdating another old boyfriend, and David L. Levy. Maryland's entry into an area of law thatTyrone testified that she implied to him Some of the other points we made: is just now emerging across the countrythat someone else might be the father. * Oftentimes, grandparents are on as more people gain access to DNAIn 1998, he sought to overturn the old the "wrong side" of a custody analysis, which can prove or disprove apaternity agreement, but the local courts battle, and get access cut off by the child's parentage with almost 100 per-found that with no evidence of past fraud parent who wins custody. cent accuracy. or error, he had waited too long to re- Grandparents and parents must The judges ruled that blood or ge-quest new genetic tests of T.R., who was make special efforts to get along netic tests that can determine paternitythen 9. for the sake of the child. must be ordered if requested by the men. * Sometimes, parents are angry The three dissenting judges and Grandparents Suffer because grandparents won't buy some child advocates criticized the rul- Setback, But Still Have them a new house or make other ing, which they said neglected to consider Rights purchases. Grandparents, if you the "best interests of a child." have the money, consider buying They said they fear it will inspire O'Connor wrote them the house. thousands of men to seek new tests in opinion striking * Try to stay out of court. Court is hopes of shirking long-standing child- notfiiendly to children or families. support orders. down Washing- Try to work things out amicably. "Whatthis ton State law that If necessary, enlist the help of a opens up is a ques- "any person" can minister, pastor or rabbi. If that tion of paternity in seek access of a doesn't work, obtain the services cases where it child of a mediator. Court is the last should have been O'Connor resort. resolved a long * Under the Supreme Court ruling, time ago," said Grandparents suffered a legal set- even if a court grants grandparent Teresa Kaiser, ex- back, but have some rights to see their visitation, they must now take into ecutive director of grandchildren, the U.S. Supreme Court consideration the parents wishes Kaiser the state Child Sup- decided on June 5, 2000. more seriously than ever before. port Enforcement The court found Washington State This will indeed make it more Administration. "Many children who law, under which Jennifer and Gary difficult for grandparents to see think they have a father may end up not Troxel had standing to seek court-or- their grandchildren if the parents having one." dered visitations with their grandchil- object. But a majority of the court argued dren, to be unconstitutional. that fairness and truth are paramount By a 6-3 vote, the court invalidated over "best interests" in any paternity pro- Background Washington's broad law that gave "any ceedings, whenever they take place. person" standing to petition the court for "Simply stated, the fact of who the Overview of visitation rights to children at any time. father of a child is cannot be changed by Grandparent Laws The court said that the parents have the what might be in the best interest of the constitutional right to determine the best child," Judge Dale R. Cathell wrote for A1150 states have grandparent visita- manner in which to raise, nurture, andtion statutes, most of them allowing a Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 59, grandparent to petition a court for ac-vation of his relationship with his childswer, of course, is that both parents cess during separation and divorce, butderives from the fact that the parent's (mom and dad) should share custody. some allow grandparents to petition forachievement of a rich and rewarding life The high court's language could also access even for an intact marriage. Onlyis likely to depend significantly on hisbe used to justify greater involvement by 3 states (Washington, Alaska and Con-ability to participate in the rearing of hisboth parents in visitation cases. necticut) allow "any person" to petitionchildren. A child's corresponding right Note that the thrust of the decisions the court for access. During oral argu-to protection from interference in theappear to justify joint legal custody, but ment, Justice Antonin Scalia was con-relationship derives from the psychologi-one could argue that greater time spent cerned that a guitar teacher who is cutcal importance of him being raised by awith a child will naturally include more off from giving future lessons on the gui-loving, responsible, reliable adult." decision making when the child is with tar to a child might petition the court to Further, the Supreme Court long agothat parent. allow such access. (CRC Note: suchnoted that a parent's right to "the com- Also note that the high court does cases are extremely rare). panionship, care, custody and manage-not explicitly endorse joint custody, and The Minnesota statute that allowsment of his or her children" is an inter-some of the reference are to "parent" as grandparents visitation Win the best in-est "far more precious" than any prop-in "parent's decision." So don't assume terest of the child, while not interferingerty right. May v. Anderson, 345 U.S. that joint custody for two parents (which with the parent-child relationship, is an528, 533, 73 S.Ct. 840, 843 (1952). is growing in popularity) will suddenly example of the more narrowverbiage in And, in Lassiter v.Department ofbe "easy" to get where it is not currently which many states constructed such laws.Social Services, 452 U.S. 18, 27, 102 popular just because of the court's deci- It was the broadness of Washington's law S.Ct. 2153, 2159-60 (1981), the Courtsion. that caused it to be scrutinized under thestressed that the parent-child relationship It will take more education and in- Fourteenth Amendment. "is an important interest that 'undeniablyformation to the courts as to why the In one sense, the court's ruling sug-warrants deference and, absent a pow-comments in court cases really do mean gests that every family be treated in aerful countervailing interest protection.joint custody. similar fashionas though there are "par- quoting Stanley v. Illinois, 405 U.S. 645, These are the comments in the e n ts" to make decisions on who may651, 92 S.Ct. 1208 (1972). The CourtTroxel case we are referring to: have access to their children. The weak-summarily announced the trend toward "the interests of the parents in the ness in this belief falls where the ideal ofconstitutional protection of the parent-care, custody, and control of their chil- nuclear families is addressed. Thechild relationship in Carson v. Elrod, dren is the oldest of the fundamental lib- "nuclear family" has become an out-411 F. Supp. 645, 649 (1976), statingerty interests recognized by this Court" dated stereotype. According to the U.S. "No bond is more precious and none (majority opinion by Justice Sandra Day Department of Commerce, in 1998, ap-should be more zealously protected byO'Connor); proximately 5.6%, or 4 million childrenthe law as the bond between parent and "The Due Process Clause of the under the age of 18, lived with theirchild." Fourteenth Amendment protects the grandparents. In changing times, each Properly evaluated and properlyfundamental right of parents to make de- instance must be addressed on a case byquoted in future cases brought before cision concerning the care, custody, and case basis, the court said. any court involving a custody determi-control of their children"; nation, these statements and the future As a constitutionally protected liberty extension by the high court in the Troxelinterest, the Due Process Clause does Implications for the case can be cited to justify more sharednot permit a state to interfere with the parenting (joint custody). right of parents to make childrearing de- Puturne cisions "simply because a state judge believes a 'better' decision could be Court Possibly Raise Constitu- tional Argumentsmade; so long as a parent adequately Strengthens Shared cares for his or her children (i.e., is fit) Parenting Prospects on the Trial Levelthere will normally be no reason for the State to inject itself into the private realm In the grandparents' visitation case, Thequotesof the family to further question the abil- the U.S. Supreme Court appeared to would have to beity of that parent to make decisions con- strengthen a long line of Supreme Court carefully used how-cerning the rearing of that parent's chil- cases that uphold the right of parents to ever, and theydren." Oddenino make decisions concerning their chil- would be most use- (Editor's note: under this reasoning, dren. ful in "clean" cases,the state should automatically continue In earlier cases, such as Franz v.that is, in which there are two fit parents. the shared parenting (joint custody) the United States, 707 F.2d 582, 601 (D.C.In such cases, courts would ordinarilyparents would have had during a mar- Cir. 1983), the Supreme Court recog-have a difficult time in choosing which nized that "a parent's right to the preser-parent should obtain custody. The an- Continued on page 26

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 25 Future Implications Continued from page 25 riage, unless there is reason for the state to interfere to protect a child). The Year 2000 is CRC's 15th Anniversary Justice O'Connor cited precedence to support the Court's decision that es- We appreciate everyone who has worked for children and CRC. We tablished as a cardinal rule that "the cus- thank all those who have enabled CRC to improve the lives of children and tody, care and nurture of the child re- families. So many have given so much, of their time, efforts, and financial side first in the parents, whose primary contributions. function and freedom include preparation for obligations the state can neither For the year 2000, CRC has three new levels of support of CRC. They supply, nor hinder." arcs: Parents have a fundamental right to * A PLATINUM LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $5,000 or more make decisions that affect their children, * A GOLD LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $2,500 to $4,999. and, acting under the traditional pre- * A SILVER LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $1,000 to $2,499. sumption that parents act in the best in- * A LIFE MEMBER is one who donates CRC $500 to $999. terests of their children, should be allowed to control the custodial arrange- Anyone who has contributed to CRC in the past may increase the dona- ment following separation or divorce. tion to reach any of the life member levels. If you are unsure about your CRC General Counsel Michael L. previous donation level, contact CRC, and we would be glad to let you know. Oddenino recommends that constitu- Thank you. tional arguments should be raised at the trial level, in order to protect them for possible appeal. Call for Poetry from Divorced Parents! For a copy of CRC's model joint custody brief, contact CRC.Free to Mark Roseman, CRC Connecticut coordinator, is editing a volume of po- members; $10 to non-members for etry for publication next year. Send submissions to Mark at 48 Shepards Knoll P/H. Drive, Hamden, CT. 06514 or email him at [email protected]

THIS RIVETING EXPOSÉ REVEALS HOW JUDGES, ATTORNEYS, PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATE LAW & ETHICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL TO IDENTIFY A "P IMARY PARENT"

One Divorced FAMOLY DIVIDEP Father's Story A Divorced Father's Struggle with the Child Custody Industry Every Father's and Child's Nightmare 4 Relent Vegeteedoo 547pp.Prometheus BooksCloth $27.95

"Robert Mendelson's new book,AFamily Divided, compellingly chronicles Dr. Michael Nieland's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along the way provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce as well as thoughtful recommendations to policy makers for change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!" -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative

" A Family Dividect is on target about the social ill that faces society today.I liken it to social cancer." -- Sidney Siller, Chairman/Founder of the National Organization for Men How to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores "Internet: www.amazon.com Publisher: 1.800.421.0351 (Prometheus Books) CRC Catalog of Resources

Page 26 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 60 Research

Young Americans Affected by Divorce Rate, Want Sex, No Weddings Adapted from an article by Patrick Rizzo

(Reuters, June, 2000)Romance andsocial health of marriage in the Unitedcused more on themselves. marriage are out while casual sex and States, "The State of Our Unions 2000." "There is a self-protective kind of low-commitment relationships are in Young people in America today, theresponse to what they see as the high among young Americans, researchersstudy said, are more concerned with hav- incidence of divorce," she said. have found. ing fun and making money and less fo- One result of all this, the study said, "Today's singles scene is not oriented cused on forming lasting relationships thatis that many more young women see toward marriage, nor is it dedicated tolead to marriage and raising a family. single motherhood, which was once ta- romantic love as it has been in the past," The report took note that youngboo, as a viable option. said David Popenoe, co-director of theAmericans: Although many women in their late National Marriage project and a sociol- favor living together as a try-out for twenties had been looking for more com- ogy professor at Rutgers in NewJersey. marriage or as an alternative tomitment than the men in the study, they To be sure, young Americans today marriage; too have become more disenchanted did not invent the concept of "free love," have a fear of divorce; with the pool of prospective partners and such as existed during the 1960's. The see marriage (and divorce) as athe likelihood of finding a mate. Nearly difference, researchers said, is thatyoung potential economic liability. half of the women in the study said they people today are more concerned with Oddly, however, most of the youngconsidered unwed motherhood a so- economic and sexual self-gratification men and women who participated in thecially acceptable option if they could not than past generations. study expected someday to meet andfind and marry the right man by their "They don't really have pictures in many somebody who fulfilled their emo-late thirties. their minds that the road they are walk-tional and spiritual needs. The problem, "We maybe seeing a massive change ing along leads to having a family," saidresearchers said, is that their currentthat would mean that romantic love and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, co-author ofmercenary mating habits do not easilycourtship might be giving way to some- the report with Popenoe. lead to the fulfillment of that goal. thing altogether new. Or we may be in a The study gathered together "focus period of cultural cluelessness," White- groups" of unmarried men and women High Incidence of Divorcehead said. age 21 to 29, in five major metropolitan Among their Parents "Most societies have had a script and areasnorthern NewJersey, Atlanta, young adults have been guided through Dallas, Chicago and Los Angeles. Whitehead said the men and womenthat script. And now the script is being Most of the participants had somein the study, because of the high inci-so radically revised that nobody knows education beyond high school but notdence of divorce among their parents,what it is anymore. Or people have torn college degrees. The study was part ofdid not count on having lasting relation-it up," Whitehead said. the project's second annual report on theships with each other. Instead, they fo- Mediation, Moveaway National Child's DayJune 4 Help Leslee Newman, J.D., who has been The U.S. Sen-because it was nestled between giving free consultations on move-away ate unanimouslyMother's Day and Father's Day, issues to CRC members, is available for passed a resolu-where a Children's Day ought to be! mediation consultations (at a fee). tion declaring the It is unclear whether President Leslee, who is a trained mediator, can be reached at 714-282-1515. Her hus- Graham first Sunday inClinton issued a proclamation urging June, as "NationalAmericans to celebrate Child's Day band Don Smith, Ph.D., clinical psy- Child's Day." National Children's Dayon the first Sunday in June. chologist, is available for child custody is observed by many churches on the In the Congressional Record, May evaluations. Don's number is 714 -939- first Sunday in June. CRC and its chap-24, 2000 issue, Graham thanked CRC 6678. ters supported the observance on thatfor its efforts in helping to convince Don and Leslee are both in Orange date, which this year fell on June 4,the Senate to pass the resolution. County, California, but can handle cases anywhere in the coun try. Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 27 fro E2 awn ca,Dw&o Dealing with Loss: Helping Your Children During and After Divorce Dr. Herman Frankel, M.D. Reviewed by CRC Staff

A 24-page guide-mourning. Grieving a loss is a normalhealing process during and after a di- book. Individual cop-and healthy process, not a sign of ill-vorce, Dr. Frankel goes on to offer thirty DEAL1NG ies $5 to Children'sness. Children may experience suchpractical suggestions. The first 10 of withLO S S Rights Council atemotions as self-blame, withdrawal,them are: 300 I Street NE, anxiety, rage, loneliness, depression and 1. Remember that your child is not A Guidebook For Helping Your Children Suite 401, Washing-more. They will experience a lack of your parent. Do not look to your During And Alter Divorce ton, DC 20002-familiarity and family stability due to the children to fill that loss and need 4389. For informa-loss of ongoing contact with all of the for nurturing, but rather, HERMAN M. DUNKIL M D tion about quantityfamily members. remember thatyou must continue orders imprinted with the name Suddenly every-day routines will be to nurture them. of your program or agency, contact Dr.changed and in many instances, the 2. Remember that your child is not Frankel at Divorcework Center, 1800child might be placed in a new and un- your partner. SW First Avenue, Suite 510, Portland,familiar neighborhood and school. 3. Remember that your child is not OR 97201-5322. Hence, their support base of friends is your friend. When you need no longer near. As a result, parents may someone to talk to, and your Elizabeth Hickey, MSW, CRC'switness a decline in their child's aca- partner is no longer there, Director of Parenting Education, de-demic performance as well. Although remember thatyou are the parent scribes this as a "beautifully written book-a trying experience, it is important to not the pal, and do not overlap let containing practical wisdom on howremember that children as well as adults these roles. to help yourself and your childrenhave the capacity to recover from di- 4. Remember that your child is not through the challenges of a family loss. Ivorce and be able to create a new chap- your representative. Your attorney highly recommend it to parents, step-ter in their lives. can help you maintain appropriate parents, and grandparents who are in the Dr. Frankel guides us through the communication. Do not use your position of supporting children throughfour categories of grief work done, re- child as a messenger. change and loss." peatedly, by children (and parents) who 5. Take the initiative.Tell your deal effectively with the devastation of children what is happening. Dr. Frankel,divorce and, in the process, become 6. Decide on the purpose of the M.D., Director ofstronger, wiser, healthier, and more lov- conversation. 'Tell your children the Divorceworking. He reminds us that divorce ends the what they need to know, ask if they Center in Portland,marriage; it does not end the family. have any questions, ensure them Oregon and Ad- He shows us how to support our that it is not their fault and ofyour junct Professor atchildren in their efforts to understand continued love for them. Pacific Universitywhat they are losing, to experience and 7. Decide on the structure of the School of Profes-honor the emotions triggered by the loss, "telling the children" conversation. Frankel sional Psychology, is to live in the present as they take effec- Keep the conversation preferable a pediatrician whosetive action to memorialize the losses and short, but slow.After the work is devoted to protecting children the life transition they have experienced, conversation, transition to an from harm during and after divorce.and to address, in their own ways, the activity other than bedtime. Doctor Frankel's extensive experience question, "What really matters to me and 8. Expect to answer the children's with children, parents, and profession-to my family?" questions repeatedly, on their als led him to write this publication, The It is also important that parents at- schedule. Children grieve and re- booklet was awarded the Children's tend to their children's needs and remain grieve. Rights Council's "1999 Kids First Awarddedicated to their healing process. One 9. When you don't know, say, "I of Excellence" after Dr. Frankel spokebasic concept to remember is that when don't know." at CRC's 12th national conference. parents divorce, children want and need 10. Make surethechildren To a child, divorce may be as trau-to accomplish these tasks in their own understand that their actions will matic as losing a loved one. The loss ex-way and at their own pace. To guide not affect the permanence of the perienced by the child leads to grief andparents in supporting their children's divorce.

Page 28 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 Talldng Ic__ to RitalLin3 What Doctors Aren't 'cuing You about Stimulants for Cdren Peter R. Breggin, M.D., Available from CRC Reviewed by CRC Staff 400 pages, hard-nary, unprecedented changes in thelistening and complying to adult ex- back, $25, website:brain... We have very little informationpectations. How many of us suffered ht tp://about the long-term impact of treatmentfrom these ailments as children? www.agatenet-comcourwith these drugs." While extreme cases of rambunc- e-mail: Breggin's book demonstrates thetious children in the classroom do [email protected] negative effects of Ritalin on toddlers.exist, Ritalin should not be used as His book highlights why the Drug En-an easy solution to a more complex CRC is report- forcementAdministration (DEA) is wor-issue. ing on this subjectried about the number of children tak- When questioned as to the harmful because many par-ing Ritalin, the negative side effects ofeffects of Ritalin, a leading advocate of ents get "pushedRitalin, how children feel about Ritalin, Ritalin has made the comment that other away" and "forcedand the empowerment of parents in re-than "headaches, sleepiness in some away" from theirlationships with children. people, lack of desire to eat," all other children during the The DEA has issued warnings aboutadverse effects are "remote". Dr. Breggin divorce process, sothe rates of Ritalin prescriptions in thison the other hand emphasizes Ritalin's they are unable tocountry. Questioning the tactics ofadverse effects on the brain, behavior, Breggin provide the "onRitalin's manufacturer, the DEA raisesand mental life. Other side effects in- site" parenting that might provide alter-concern over the safety and efficacy ofclude: "subtle social withdrawal; dulled natives other than drugs for their chil-the drug. The DEA (1996) has made itaffect, emotional blunting; cognitive dren. Dr. Breggin was a speaker atclear that there is no known biological overfocusing'; mild to moderate depres- CRC's 12th national conference in Sep-cause for Attention Deficit-Hyperactiv-sion in children." These are devastating tember, 1999 ity Disorder (ADHD). side effects that none of us should wish Studies show that the use of stimu- The DEA also warns that Ritalin useto subject our children to. lants such as Ritalin and antidepressants be a risk factor for substance Children, ust like adults, have stres- are on the rise among toddlers. Accord-abuse" and "further provides a compre-sors in their lives. Such stressors might ing to a study from the University ofhensive list of adverse effects". include such things as the death ofa pet, Maryland, School of Pharmacy, as many Without any actual physical test be-arguments or separation of their parents, as 1.5 percent of children age 2 to 4 are ing able to detect the supposed existence conflict with teachers, unsafe neighbor- receiving these drugs. The doctors areof ADHD, three basic categories arehoods, poverty and more. In order to finding a quick and easy solution for aused to diagnose ADHD. The charac-fix a problem, one mustfirst realize what much deeper issue. In the February 23, teristics of a suspected ADHD child are the problem is. There is no proof that 2000 issue of The Washington Post,hyperactivity, impulsivity, and attentionRitalin cures ADHD, as may have long- Joseph T. Coyle of the Harvard Medi-problems. term negative side effects. cal School in Boston sharply criticized According to Dr. Breggin, many of the growing use of stimulants and anti-these same children are accused of day- For more information on Dr. depressant drugs in preschool-age chil-dreaming in class, keeping a messy desk, Breggin's work go to www.breggin.com dren. This age "is a time of extraordi-being excessively jittery or jumpy, trouble and www.icspp.org

National Cry for Children

Rally Saturday, November 4 at thewill again emphasize that "entire genera-This is not a fathers rights rally. This Lincoln Memorial. Contact organizertions are growing up not knowing the im- is a family rally." Brad Ingram at [email protected] portance of families. They are learning David L. Levy is among those in- Like last year's Cry for Childrenthat two cars in the garage is more im-vited to speak at the rally. rally, this year's events, says Ingram,portant than two parents in the home.

Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 29 Al National Affiliate Organizations and Chapters

CRC International Chapters Colorado 301/588-0262 New Jersey Council for Tennessee Mark En uekin, coordinator website: http:// Children's Rights David Courson, coordinator CRC of Great Britain CRC of Colorado www.members.tripocicont/ (NJCCR) CRC of Tennessee Tony and Christine Coe, 4715 Ranch Circle -Indere/ P 0 Box 195 2120 Griffi n town Road coordinators Colorado Springs, CO 80918- Old Bridge, NJ 08857-0195 White Bluff, TN 31708-5207 Children's Rights Council of the 4118 Rob and Sandra Snow, chairs phone: 973/694 -9323 phone and fitx: 615/952-2498 United Kingdom phone: 719/548-8798 CRC of Greater Baltimore entail and website: www.fficcr.org email: [email protected] 38-40 Gloucester Road fax: 719/597-2218 2 West 39th Street London, SW7 4QU London, email: cochildren@aolcom Baltimore, MD 21218 New York Texas England phone and fax: 410/889-9404 Kim Boedecker-Frey, Diana Buflitu,non, coordinator phone: 011-44-20 7589 9003 Connecticut email: [email protected] coordinator CRC of Texas fax: 011-44-20 7584 4230 Mark Roseman, coordinator CRC of New York 18959 North Dallas Parkway, email: [email protected] CRC of Connecticut Massachusetts 231 Main Street, Suite I #723 website: www.equalparenting.org 48 Shepards Knoll Drive Carolyn Baunber, coordinator Vestal, NY 13850 Dallas, TX 75287 Mundell, CT 06514 16 Union Street phone and fax 607/785-9338 phone: 214/485-1518 CRC of Japan phone: 203/288-7827 Holiston, MA 01746 fax: 214/630-1143 Walter Benda fax: 203/281-1425 phone: 508/429-5282 Thomas-Mormon, president e-rnail: P.O. Box 583 email: libros3@aolcom e-mail: CRC of New York City www.wabbittl @excite.com Max Meadows, VA 24360 [email protected] 499 Ft. Washington Avenue, website: 540/637-3576 Delaware #3D community.dallasnews.com/ email: [email protected] James A. Morning, president Stave Carrier, president New York, NY 10033 dmn/artx and CRC of Delaware CRC of Massachusetts hotline: 212/431-7724 David Brian Thomas PO Box 1311 511 Main Street, P.O. Box 904 fax: 212/740-7008 Children's Rights Coalition 4-18-15-903 Dover, DE 19901 Stnibridge, niA 01566 email; [email protected] (affiliate) Kam i ki Tazawa Setag-,aya-Ku 302/734-8522 phone:508/347-5960 P.O., Box 12961 Tokyo, Japan 156 entail: [email protected] Fax: 508/347-9870 North Carolina/South Carolina Capitol Station phone: 011-81-3-5317-6357 Email: CRCMASS(Daolcom Fred Wan d r. coordinator Austin, TX 78711-2961 District of Columbia 509 N. Seventh Street fax: 215/499-8056 CRC of Sierra Leone Frank Banner, coordinator George Kelly, chairman Wilmington, NC 28401 entail: [email protected] Yottro Kargbo CRC of the District of Columbia Concerned Fathers of 910/762-4952 3505 Covered Bridge Lane Hillcrest Children's Center Massachusetts, Inc. email:[email protected] Vermont Woodbridge VA 22192 1325 "W" Street N.W. 3rd floor P 0 Box 2768 website: [email protected] Liz. Wisda phone and fax: 703/897-7845 Washington, D.C. 20009 Springfield, MA 01101-2768 CRC of Vermont and phone: 202/232-6100 phone: 413/736-7432 Dan Gilligan, Director I 4A Church Street Esther Kargbo fax: 202/483-4560 fax: 413/732-3867 Center for Children of Rutland, VT 05701 7 Sanai Abacha Street Separation and Divorce phone:802/786-5920 Freetown, Sierra Leone Florida Michigan 4950 Park Road call the CRC office phone: 01 1- 23-2 - 222 2 -8682 Kris Kline, coordinator Barbara Toth, coordinator Charlotte, NC 28209 CRC of Florida CRC of Michigan 704/522-1331 virglnia National Affiliate Organizations 355 Shore Drive P 0 Box 653 John Vaughan, president Ellenton, FL 34222 Edmore, MI 48829-0653 Ohio CRC of Virginia, Tidewater Mothers Without Custody phone: 813/635-0633 517/427-5774 Margaret Wuwert, coordinator chapter (MW/OC) fax: 813/620-9068 CRC of Ohio P 0 Box 3101 Jennifer !sham, coordinator email: KLINEKRISIDaol.com Minnesota 2745 Sagamore Road Williamsburg, VA 23187 website only: h ttp: www/ Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator Toledo, OH 43606 phone: 757/249-0037 motherswithoutcustocly.org Georgia CRC of Minnesota 419/472-1471 fax: 757/566-8667 Harty A. Prillaman, coordinator 5905 Chateau Road N.W. email: himmelfim7@aolcom email: [email protected] Stepfamily Association of CRC of Georgia Rochester, MN 55901 website:www.childrens-rights.org America (SAA) 808 Springharbor Colin phone and fax: 507/289-5745 Or contact: Margorie Engel, president Woodstock, GA 30188-5509 (call before faxing) Kevin O'Brien Murray Steinberg, president Elm/ Kallemyn, Executive phone: 678/643-5924 email: P 0 Box 8805 CRC of Virginia, Richmond Director fax: 678/494-1931 bruce.kaikuhufIdelakinetics.com Cincinnati, OH 45208 chapter 650J Street, Suite 205 email: [email protected] phone: 513/624-7223 9244 Royal Grant Drive Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 Missouri fax: 513/624-7223 Mechanicsville, VA 23116 402/477-7837 Illinois Scott Field, chair PACEgroup0fuse.net phone: 804/559-7092 1-800/735-0329 Terry Cady, coordinator CRC of Eastern Missouri website: fax: 804/559-7092 Joint membership in SAA and CRC of Illinois P.O. Box 220661 [email protected] email: familyChichmond.net CRC: $35.00 for the first year 905 Wayne Avenue Kirkwood, MO 63122 Deerfield, IL 60015 314/963-4668 Oregon Paul Robinson, president State Chapters phone 847/374-0461 alt. phones Lany 314/878-1262 Roy Nolan, coordinator Fathers United for Equal Rights fax 312/322-3553 Scott 314/838-7092 CRC of Oregon and Women's Coalition Alabama email: [email protected] Mark Holdenried 314/772- P 0 Box 2095 P 0 Box 1323 contact CRC office 1169 Portland, OR 97208 Arlington, VA 22210-1323 Indiana email: phone: 503/232-8630 phone: 703/451-8580 Alaska contact CRC office erceastemmo@bigfootcom fax: 503/233-9390 fax: 703/451-9321 Gary Maxwell, coordinator wehsite: Imp:// email: paulmr@capaccessamg CRC of Alaska Grandparent Rights in New hometownaolcom/ Pennsylvania P.O. Box 92083 Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) areastemino/myhomeixtge/ Michael Nieland, M.D. Washington State Anchorage, AK 99509-2083 Kay and Ray Berryh ill, co- inclex.litml president Jamaica Filgo phone: 907/277 -3980 directors CRC of Pittsburgh CRC of Washington fax: 907/276-3980 0689 CR 5 Kalyn Stone, secretary-treasurer 460 S. Graham St. P.O. Box 222 entail: gmaxwell@alaskanet Coat nna, IN 46730 CRC of Southwestern Missouri Pittsburgh, PA 15232 Arlington, WA 98223 phone:219/281-2384 619 E. Silsby 412/361-3002 phone:541/482-6881 Arizona Springfield, MO 65807- email: 61g881 I @tao.sottedt t Conrad Greene, coordinator Iowa - See Nebraska /Iowa 417/862 -1592 Rita A. Jones, president CRC of Arizona email: Bill Clements, treasurer West Virginia P 0 Box 454 Kentucky JMatCRCSVVM00aol.com CRC of Philadelphia GingerThompson, Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 Kevin O'Brien, coordinator 281 I W. Queen Lane CRC of West Virginia phone: 480 /970 -5903 Ann Swango Nebraska/Iowa Philadelphia, PA 19129 109 North Arthur Drive fax: 480/970-5925 CRC of Kentucky Lyn and Bill Htterter, phone: 215/844-2372 Charleston, WV 25312 P 0 Box 74126 coordinators phone: 304/744-6534 California Dayton, KY 41074-0126 Kevin Boston, president Kurt Krusen fax: 304/744 -8657 Patricia Gehlen, coordinator Phone and Fax: 513/624-7223 CRC of Nebraska CRC of Harrisburg/Capitol email: [email protected] email: CRCCalifbritia@aolcom Email: CRC- P 0 Box 45387 Region Will Brown, president Kent' [email protected] Omaha, NE 68145-0387 15 Beaver Road Wisconsin email: w- 402/330-3353 (voice and fax) Camp Hill, PA 17011 con tact CRC office [email protected] Maryland email: [email protected] phone: 717/763-0673 CRC of California Harvey Walden, coordinator website: www.lumpalet/orna fax: 717/763-7183 CRC General Counsel Michael P.O. Box 163801 CRC of Maryland L. OcIdenino's email address Sacramento, CA 95814-3700 417 Pershing Drive New Jersey South Carolina-see North is [email protected] His phone and fax: 916/635-2590 Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 Eric Purason, president Carolina website is www.oanglaw.com Page 30 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2000 BEST.CORy AVAILABLE r}0_2727_272:6(110_275 ./

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Juan Albino Allison Estin Casimir Jarski Joe Motacek Nora Renzulli Ari Arshadnia Karl Firmbach RobertJohnson Patricia Murphy John Richards Kevin Baggett Donald Forslund Dennis Johnson Michael Nieland, M.D. Douglas Ronnau Edward Barton Val Franz David Johnson William Oen Kathryn Rogers Steven Becker Julian Fraser ThomasJohnson Kevin O'Brien William Santi David Bell Michael Friedman Aldoren Kauzlarich Richard O'Neil Gregg Schaaf Rudolph Benda Ken Gallahan John & Carol Keane Lester Ostroy Ronald Schoen Melinda Blau Gail Galvin Andrew Kerber Allen Ostrowski Victor Simmons Will Brown Steven Gibbs Melissa Kerr Mr. & mrs. Louis Pearson David F. Smith Thoric Cederstrom Glenn Goodhand Paul Kirchmeier Don Perry Brenda Soners Cleve Clamp Donald Gordon Jason Krueger Linae Peters Paul Sparano William Clemens Joseph Gottesman, M.D. Kurt Krusen Jim Pierobon John Talerico James Cloyes Charles Gower Steven Kyle David T. Pitts Michael Tracy Robert Conklin Edward Gross Patrick Lacy Robert Prall Lamart O'Shay Watson Dan Cook Arnold Hardy Jeff Lapides Edward Quesada Don & Jodi Webb Wayne Covell Mickey Hayward Jeff Lynett Dana & Sharon Ramsey James Welenofsky Timothy Curley Fred Hayward Gary Markoff Charles Sheppard Searle Whitney Michael DaGrace Reginal Heisler Kathryn Marsh David F. Smith Rod Williams Ann Davis Chuck Herndon Richard Martin Paul Stroub Ross Williams Jonathon Dawson Julie & Don Hubin Michael Maye H. Lee Sullivan Sandra Williams Henry Elbert W.S. Hynes Danya McMurtrey Chris Thompson Robert Valentine Susan Elzey Beverly-Ann Hyde Daniel Mobit Laura Tokioka Spring 2000 Speak Out For Children Page 31

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Vol. 15-No. 3/4 ISSN 1042-3559 Assisting Children of Strengthening Families Never-Married, Through Education Separated and And Advocacy Divorced otyrFORell. Parents

The Quarterly Newsletter oldie Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, 13.C. 20002-4389 l'hone (202)547-6227 Fax (202) 546-4272 Wehsites: gocrc.com and infb4parents.com IN THIS ISSUE: New Laws Benefit Tennessee Children CRC of Sierra Leone 3 Inside CRC 4 Six new laws in eluded, but efforts will be CRC Establishes College Tennessee will change made to add them in the fu- Scholarship Fund 5 the face and nature of ture. (Note: Idaho and Iowa divorce in The Volun- already have laws that result The CRC View 6 teer State, say observers in loss of licenses for inter- Report Shows Connection of the new legislation. ference with access); between Support and The new laws: 3. Grandparents rights. Joint Custody 7 1.Replacethe Though narrowly defined, Around the Country 9 terms "custody" and supporters believe the law Shared Parenting 10 "visitation" with will survive the U.S. Supreme "shared parenting" and Court ruling in the Troxel Conference Ito r) Dominick Amari, David Coinaon and Don Peery (pro se expert) of CRC of Tennessee, Corsi Herinkova and Ernie Registration "parental responsibili- case (see Summer, 1999 ties." Divorcing parents Weeks of DAD of Tennessee "Speak Out for Children."); Chapter News 12 can participate in me- 4. Guarantee the right of Family Facts 13 diation and produce parenting plans; noncustodial parents access to medical records of the Congressional 2. Provide that blocking court-orderedchild, unless fin-bidden by the courts; Update 14 parenting time will result in loss of recreational, .5. Expand Parent Bill of Rightsadds three new New Proposal Could professional, and/or business licenses. Because Continued on page 4 Encourage Parental of budget problems, drivers' licenses were ex- Abductions 16 Fatherhood Bill Stalled in U.S. Senate 17 Please P on A n _g Books, Videos, Buttons 18-23 C's 13th Natio nference Equal Parents' Week... 24 Holiday Bethesda More Attention Paid (inside the Beltway) to Kidnapping of Children 26 y ,2001 Relinquishing Custody to Get Health Care 27 ; Reception at the British Embassy Residence and Gardens In the Courts 28 to Benefit CRC May 3, die evening before the conference National Affiliate Register on Wcbsitc at gocrc.com or on page 11 of this newsletter, Organizations and Chapters 30

6 7 BEST COPY AVAILABLfl CRC is a member of

"Speak Out for Childreeis published bythe Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor. David L. Levy. Con- tributors to this issue: Amy Carnright, Don Bieniewicz, Al Ellis, Julie Ma Giacomo, Paul Robinson, ohn Prior, Ken Skilling, and college student intern Abraham Perez, University of California at Santa Barbara. Layout by Sheila Holzberger.

Children's The CRC Charities of America

The Children's Rights Council others who are part of the familymission, provided the source ("Re- (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRS fabric, working as a team. printed from the Children's Rights 501(c)(3) cluldren's rights organization CRC envisions a society where laws,Council newsletter 'Speak Out for Chil- based in Washington, D.C. attitudes, and public opinion affirmdren,' Fall 2000/Winter 2001) is given. that for children, "The Best Parent isFor non-CRC material, obtain permis- Mission Both Parents." sion from the copyright owner. For fur- The Children's Rights Council (CRC) ther information about CRC member- is a national, non-profit organization Formed in 198.5 by concerned par-ship, publications, cassettes, catalog, and committed to the loving, nurturing, ents who had more than 40 years collec-services, write: CRC, 300 "1" Street N.E., protecting and education of children tive experience in custody reform andSuite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002; through both parents and extended early childhood education, CRC has phone (202) .547-6227; fax (202) .546- family. chapters in 32 states and four national4CRC (4272). CRC is dedicated to helping children affiliate organizations: Mothers Without CRC has two webs ites: by promoting family formation, www.goo-c.ann (our main CRC site) and shared parenting, mediation, parentCustody, (MW/OC), The Stepfamily Association of America (SAA), CO-www.info4parents.com for expanded education, and mitigating the effects MAMAS, and Parenting Coalition Inter-parenting infOrmation). of divorce and relationship breakups national, Inc. CRC's email address: on children and parents. Prominent professionals in the [email protected] Speak Out for Chil- Vision of religion, law, social work, psychology,dren is published four times a year and CRC's vision is a society where bothchild care, education, business, and gov-is sent free to members. Library rate: parents play a significant parentingernment comprise our Advisory Panel.$20.00 a year. Send letters, comments role in their children's lives. Children Material in this newsletter authoredand articles fOr publication to Editor, need grandparents, step-parents andby CRC may be reprinted without per-CRC.

One of the children helped by Members and Supporters of CRC of Sierra Leone chapter One of the children helped by CRC of Sierra Leone CRC of Sierra Leone

CRC's new Sierra Leone chapterhave been fOrced to be "child soldiers" A church service was held fOr nine works to relieve the suffering of childrenwho fight alongside adult combatants. amputees from Sierra Leone, most of in war-torn Sierra Leone. Children in this West African coun- them children, at the Bread of the Life "Sierra Leone has been ravaged bytry near Liberia and Guinea are foundChurch in Alexandria, Virginia, Septem- one of the most brutal rebel wars everscavenging the streets looking for fOd,ber 24, 2000. CRC of Sierra Leone do- known to mankind," said Yottro Kargbo,clothing or anything else they can find. nated $.500 to help with medical bills for director of the chapter, who lives in the The chapter, consisting of concernedthese amputees. U.S. "The health and educational sys-Sierra Leoneans, has been meeting in "This is the tip of the iceberg of tem is in complete disarray. Simple dis-metropolitan Washington, D.C., finthings that need to be done," said eases result in swift deaths for =fortu-nearly a year. The group has heldKargbo. "CRC of Sierra Leone is doing nate Sierra Leoneans, especially chil-fundraisers and obtained contributionsits best, but needs further help for the dren, who are the most vulnerable andfrom members and non-members. children." yet innocent about the conflict." The chapter is sending a two-man For more infOrmation, contact CRC Families have been separated fromdelegation to Sierra Leone in Januaryof Sierra Leone, P.O. Box 130.57, Alex- their loved ones, made homeless, sexu-2001 to help with human relief. Theyandria, VA 22313, or visit their web site ally abused, mutilated or otherwise trau- will provide money, food, clothing andat wwwgeocities.com/crcsIThe chapter's matized. There are an estimated fiveeducational materials to help some of thephone number is 703/897-784.5. thousand amputees, most of them chil-children in refugee camps that have been dren as young as three years old. Manyset up around the country.

CRCand our chapters Haskins Moves to Brookings need grant and proposal writers. Ron Haskins, the longtime staff director for the House Human Resources Subcommittee, has left to work for the Brookings Institute, a think tank in Washington, D.C. At a retirement party in the House, former subcommittee chairman Clay Shaw (R-FL) referred to Haskins as "Mr. Chairman" because of Impommt,Phonc.:, Haskins' knowledge and insights into the Welfare Reform law, which came out Number of that Subcommittee. Haskins was also on top of child support and access The phone number for the (visitation) measures, which also originated in that subcommittee. Haskins has been a good friend to advocates for the 2-parent family, and shall be missed on the Hill. A new staff director is to be named. The subcommittee can be reached coniniiitte6;;., is .(202):22..)4111 .. at 202-22.5-102.5. .

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 3

. BEST COPY AVAILABLE 69 New Laws Continued limn page 1 Inside CRC rights, including 48 hour notification of any events to which parents are normally Stabenow Elected to U.S. Senate invited to participate, noncustodial parent involvement in all school activities Congratulations to longtime CRC Advisor Debbie Stabenow (D) for win- including lunch with child, and contact ning a seat in the U.S. Senate. She defeated first term senator Spencer Abraham information when either parent leaves (R) in November, 2000. the state for two or more nights with the Debbie came to our attention shortly after we formed CRC in 198.5 as the minor child; prime author of die provision in Michigan's "Friend of die Court" law that 6. Create a Tennessee Commission expanded resources so that staff could informally resolve access (visitation) on Responsible Fatherhood, to make complaints, not just child support problems. recommendations to the legislature for In 1988, Congress provided, at CRC's urging, seven access (visitation) dem- future legislation. DAD of Tennessee, onstration grants to die states. The single most influential argument to sway one of the groups responsible for the Congress was learning that Michigan collected $8.33 for every dollar spent to new legislation, has a seat on the com- collectthe best ratio of any state's collections to costs in die U.S. mission. Debbie Stabenow sent CRC a letter, which we used to educate Congress Credit for this legislation goes to about this ratio, and the need to provide for more access of children to non- DAD of Tennessee; a group called First custodial parents. 'Things First; CRC's Tennessee chapter; Debbie went on to become a member of die House of Representatives, Judge Don Ash; Judge Marietta Shipley; and now she is in the Senate. Dr. Karen Sowers, (lean of die College of Social Work, University of Tennes- see in Knoxville; State Rep. Bob Patton Levy Honored (R-Johnson City), chairman of the joint legislative committee that studies all pro- The U.S. Office of Child Support Enforcement posed divorce laws. presented a "Lifelong Achievement Award" to All six bills came out of that study CRC President David L. Levy for his "untiring committee, said Coni Herinkova, execu- effints on behalf of the children of America." tive director of DAD of Tennessee. Coni The award was presented to Levy by Child is an attorney, paid by DAD of 'ferules- Support Commissioner David Gray Ross at a see to promote favorable legislation. Child Support Conference in Baltimore in Sep- Scott Roy is president of the group, tember, 2000. which has a 16-person board. Ross said Levy was die father of die access CRC of Tennessee is headed by (visitation) grants to die states authorized for David Courson, whose organization die first time by Congress in 1988. worked to educate die legislature about Ross referred to the various other pro- the needs of children and families. grams, services, and educational materials See the legislation at CRC has provided since its inception in 198.5 %vim. legislature. state. tn. us to help children. Levy accepted the lovely all-glass plaque on behalf of die Children's Rights Council, and CRC supporters all around die country. "Without diem," he said, "none of die progress CRC has made for children would have been ChangiC fAddress possible." To keep newsletters and other materials eorning, 3 CRC Folk Recuperating ..:Please notify, CRC ...three 'Two state coordinators of CRC, David Courson of Tennessee, and Gary weeks in advance orany ad- Maxwell of Alaska, are successfully recovering from heart attacks. Bruce G. dress change: Send' Old and Buffington, husband of CRC Texas coordinator Diana Buffington, is also new :addresses to CRC. 300 recovering from a heart attack. "I'? Street Suite 401, We are sure they would appreciate "Good Wishes" notes from any of Washington;:DC 20002. you. Information on how to reach them are on die page listing all of our chapters (page 30). Thank you for taking the time to wish them well.

Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001 CRC Establishes College Scholarship Fund

Scholarship AppliCation: College Scholarship Fund Set for Relatives of CRC Members citcAtill.award at least one:$350

In November 2000, CRC mailed its annual Holiday Ap- peal for Funds to present and some former members. We said: :iii0.011:c(intrilititiOnS. `I lie:

Frank Banner's son Frank Banner HI turned 13 on Sep- Should:write:no:more ...... tember .9, 2000, but his dad could not wish him Happy Birth- than aIWO,tathree!page:letter:o:CRC:- Banner day. That's because young Frank was one of 160,000 children kidnapped by a parent each year. will not be:read Was MI-. Banner an abusive or neglectful parent? Hardly. He is a deputy 'Ilieletter:slo.mild:Slate.the:liilliny7 marshall, and has raised 6 other children just fine. :::ing: On October 23, Mr. Banner received the worst news a parent caul hear. Y.00:. adiffesS:: One of his daughters, 31-year-old Loretta Mae, was murdered. The killer was telephimenuinberand:tothWS:. caught. The fimeral was delayed until one of Mr. Banner's sons, Kiley, could date:at:die:t0p!ofthe:letter,::: return home from the U.S. military in Korea. 2. "Ilic flaine:andkicatioit:of.... I have never begun our annual Holiday appeal with news this sad. But I felt I had no choice. 3. You see, Mr. Banner is the head of CRC's Washington, D.C. chapter. He operates a transfer center fur children and offers weekly parenting education orS0r.ing;2002;.: classes. He also runs other programs, including programs in the African-Ameri- 1_..Y:OUr .(...... can community. He has done so at personal and financial sacrifice. He deserves grandchild::: nther::larmly::: our support. member)::twthe::member:o1::: CRC does not wish to make anything from this ti-agedy. This is why we ask you to designate how much of your Holiday contribution you want to go to whether iiationA.theinberShip::: CRC and how much you would like to designate to the Frank Banner III Col- i;t;U1reni.:.yotior the:adult Cari-: lege Scholarship Fund. The fund administrator will be Patton, Erskine and email-et CRC::: Braucht, the CPA firm that manages CRC funds. Each Spring CRC will offer a is N i plainanti :had]: : : .. scholarship to the child of a CRC member. All may apply. Mr. Banner will torisers lint' chair the Selection Committee. if,:alid.ltow:vott

Thank you for your continuing support fur CRC, and for children every- it to your . where, like Frank Banner III 6:Tell :Os: aboutiytitirelf.,:):.Our:: Sincerely yours, David L. Levy,J.D. President, CRC lei eive ...... 7. Sign: the If anyone would like to contribute to the Holiday Fund and/or to the Col- unofficial frank:mils:and: lege Scholarship Fund, please do so. Fax your donation by credit card to CRC any other:dticUrneig..fit4:to:.:exceed::: at 202-546-4272, or mail to CRC. Thank you. .three: pages::. otieotherper Amicus Briefs May be Available sudi (:(itinse ...... t.eicher:::: If your case is on appeal, and you would like CRC to consider writing an addreSSed;:f0f:::: amicus brief, contact CRC. CRC cannot handle cases at the trial level, and we Mi%-Fr:11&:Bdintr:jr; do not write the main appeal brief. An amicus brief is a supplemental brief, CliiiiiieWs)tigi0k0)1111C11. telling the court why this case is of significance not only to the parties in die Colle y case, but to other children and families as well. We generally need 30 to 60 390:'`I":Sifeet...N.:. E days refire die filing deadline. iifuton D :C.: :20002

CRC's latest amicus filing was in December, 2000 to the U.S. Supreme . Letter nitist Court in Goldhamer v. Cohen, asking the court to take mrtiorari to consider Reeiptent(s):sill: be notified expanded visitation between a child and the non-custodial parent. For a copy, Jiine including case citations, send $10 to CRC for S/H.

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 5 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 71 7de ew view 4 r)avid.d. le o* f. D. Aceaduct, ewe

Married Parents Would Revolt if Government Levy Interfered in Access to their Children

CRC frequently receives inquiriesThe government assumes it has the rightviving in order to maintain a loving re- 4' from parents for help in their custodyto determine family relationships, includ-lationship with your child is die goal. or access situations. We provide infor-ing when and where you may see your Many parents achieve it. Many mation, resources and referrals. child and your child may see you. do not. They are wiped out psycho- When people call CRC, they About half of families with childrenlogically and/or financially from the sometimes express wonder why theyavoid this government interference byfighting. have to battle just to maintain a rela-not going to court. Most of them are We urge them to stay and try to tionship with their child. We agreenever-married, but some are separatedbe a parent, anyway. you shouldn't have to. CRC encour-or divorced. These parents do not ap- We know it can be difficult. ages settlements, compromises, media-ply for custody, court ordered financial But some progress has been made lion and agreements. This is difficult,support, or access. They work out finan- in recent years. Legislators and the we know, but sometimes the alterna-cial and access arrangements infrirmally,public have come to better understand tive, going to court, is worse. Parentsor not at all. that children raised with two parents frequently find a way to disregard court It is the duty of every parent to sup-have a better chance in life, regard- orders, if they don't agree with them.port his or her child emotionally and fi-less of the parents' marital status. Agreements reached between parentsnancially, and this should be the goal. The road is not easy, but we must often have more validity and are moreBut how best to bring it about? Sharedpersevere. And someday, perhaps lasting if not coerced. parenting is the best approach to bringgovernment will not try to dictate your In marriage, parents would rise upabout both monetary and parenting in-relationship with your child post-di- in arms if the government made them volvement, says U.S. Census Bureau data. vorce unless there is a compelling rea- prove their fitness to be parents. "What And then there is personal experi-son to do so. Let parents work out do you mean I can only see my childence. CRC knows of state legislators who their own parenting arrangement on alternate weekends Friday eveningnever supported a shared parenting billwith resources available to them, in- to Sunday evening?" a married parentor a mediation billthey thought it a re-cluding mediation, parenting classes, would ask, incredulous. "No court hasmote topic. and parenting planswith government the right to restrict me like that!" But then they got divorced. And sud- not otherwise involved except in cases There would be marching in thedenly, as it is said, "they got religion."of abuse, neglect, abandonment, or street, protests at courthouses, andThey experience first hand die horrorparental kidnapping. angry letters to the editor, if the goy-and harm to children of custody battling, To change from a win-lose situa- . ernment acted that way. The govern-which enriches my fellow attorneys, buttion to a win-win situation, parents ment invade the sanctity of marriage? often imperils the familyemotionally asneed the support and help of judges, No way. well as psychologically. lawyers, legislators, and mental health Indeed, government does not get Celebrities are not exempt. I recently professionals. involved in child-parent relationshipsheard entertainerJoe Piscopo, who had When parents are led away from during marriage, absent a real or al-a custody battle over his son Joey, saythe adversarial system, towards re- leged showing of abuse or neglect tohe is an advocate for a strong Joint cus-sources such as mediation, parenting 11. the child. tody bill pending in the NewJersey leg-education, and parenting plans, it has Thus the typical married parentislature. Piscopo, who lives in NewJer-been shown time and again that they doesn't think twice about the oppor-sey, described the proposal as acan learn cooperation. You can lead tunity to be with his or her child for"Children's Bill of Rights." parents to the waters of cooperation breakfast, dinner, weekends, or when- How right you are, Joe. and expect refreshing results. ever else child and parents come and Ernest Hemingway said that the pur- That's important if we want to raise go in the home. pose of life is to survive, and achieve yourchildren to be the happy, healthy In divorce, it is Humpty Dumpty- goals. Surviving a custody or access battleadults they were meant to be. 11 time, and everything takes a big fall.is a tall order for most parents. But sw--

Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

7 2 Once AgainCensus Report Shows Connection between Support andJoint Custody

A Census Bureau report released in 41 percent of some 7 millionchild support due (90.2 percent) than October 2000 has found strong links custodial parents who were owned fathers who have visitation privileges between shared parenting and financial support received all they were due. (79.1 percent) or those without visitation child support. This is significantly more than inOr joint custody (44.5 percent). 83 percent of custodial parents with 1995, when 34 percent of parents joint (legal) custody and visitation ar- said they were paid in full. Confirmation that Many rangements received some or all of the However, the data show a decline Fathers arc Unable to Pay child support they were due. In contrast, in partial payments - only 27 among parents with neither joint custody percent of custodial parents Further note: This report also sub- nor visitation, only 36 percent of custo- received some of their childstantiates a federal government report dial parents received any payments. support payments, compared withissued in 1992 that said 66 percent of This important connection between 35 percent in 1993. Altogether, mothers with a child support award who shared parenting and financial child sup- this meant that in 1997, around 68 did not receive payment from die father port was reported in The Washington percent of custodial parents got atsaid it is because the fathers were unable Times, October 13, 2000, but in almost least some child support, while 32to pay. The 66 percent figure was re- no other media. percent of parents got nothing. ported by the custodial mothers regard- The Census Bureau report states that This payment rate is virtually theless of whether the fathers lived in the of the 14.0 million custodial parents insame as in 1993, when 69 percent ofsame state or in a different state from 1996, 7.5 million (54.3 percent) had some parents received some support and 31 the mother. The 1992 report was issued type of support agreement or award forpercent did not, the Census Bureau said. by the U.S. General Accounting Office their children. When 6.6 million custo- It further noted that the average (GAO), report GAO/HRD-92-39 Moth- dial parents without agreement or withamount of child support received by ers Report Receiving... non-legal, informal agreements werecustodial parents $3,.500 a year in Several years after the GAO report asked why they did not have a legal agree- 1997was also unchanged from 1993. was released, a federal official claimed ment, the most frequently given reasons The 1996 Welfare Reform lawthat the report should have said 66 per- was "they did not feel the need to get le-passed by Congress included sweepingcent of parents were "unwilling" to pay gal and go to court" (32.4 percent). child support reforms, such as creationrather than were "unable to pay." Other reasons include that they feltof a national database to track and gather Aside from the several year delay in the other parent could not afford to paypayments from parents and requiringthat official's "discovery" of supposed or that the other provided what they couldstates to put liens on property, cancelfederal error, this new Census Bureau fir support (about 23 percent each). passports, and revoke automobile, pro-report appears to buttress the earlier For a full listing of reasons given, seefessional, and hunting and fishing li-GAO finding that many mothers regard "Family Facts" elsewhere in this news-censes. fathers as "unable to pay." letter. 'those laws impact doesn't appear in Another substantiation of inability The report was based on 1997 data.the 1997 data"It is sort of a cusp year,"to pay is the strong effort being made said Michael Kharfen, spokesman forin the past years to reach out to young, Other Findings the federal Office of Child Support En-never-married parents, to offer them forcement jobs and job training. This effint is be- About .59.5 percent of custodial Significant increases will be seening led by the federal child support of- mothers and 38.2 percent oflater, he said, noting that state data firom lice, various foundations, and the Na- custodial fathers had child support 1998 and 1999 already have picked uptional Center for Strategic Non-Profit agreed to or awarded to them.higher rates of paternity establishmentPlanning and Community Leadership Awards rates were highest (about and collections. (NPCL), which is funded by the Ford two-thirds) fur custodial mothers and Mott Foundations. who were either divorced, non- Confirmation of Hispanic White, or had at least Connection betweenJoint sonic college education. Custody and Support CRC General Counsel Michael More parents are receiving the L. Oddcnino's email address is child support they are due, but the Note: This 1997 Census Bureau data total number of parents whosupports an earlier 1991 Census Bureau [email protected] His wcbsitc received no payments stayed aboutreport that showed "A higher percent- is www.oanglaw.com the same. age of fathers with joint custody pay the

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 7 73 Original Sculpture to be Raffled Raffle Ticket

A:firie sculpture tlepietingA:youngiii;ity.:liiii::belong,.: `:due $3.000. Send me tick- ins: slung over: his shouldersin a sackixm: huiding . ets at $3 each; 3 for $8. or. 2,1i for $60 liaidieert:tinated.tOCRCli-Y,intemationally . . known. sculptOr Philip Ramer. -. Charge:11 MC: at.:$3;000;: is: original..niaterials:oftlie::staine.,of CC::: late replaced:during:,t) the Or:arnount:enchiseti-:.:: , ..... :'Name . ;,CRC" tliik....:Scii1Phire.,.. and :4611i:issue:: .:... :::1,000tickets:.:r1lie,tieket.s.a*:a.c:;0141 for.:$3;.tliFre..4or:$8;:: ... Address ...... :or.:2-4:14i $59...... 11 ie: tirav%i rig.for.... theraffle.6111ieCRCS....1.3tIti;ttional..c(infe'rence:banquet...... ;;;Phone; :No 171iiirsdare:eningnitYou.titi:litit:haim in.he ...... :pre sent. to;:ttin. fsinit:seuliitures..lieautiiiii,'''but::tiley:;11.crear 1,41iie:(ici-er".i.lie"..e.4ri:..:4:4'r11;"7....t4i(1:R4blii::411.eiiikl A Fill tint: fbrm::aliiive.:.:aiul::rnail:::to: ,,tiTis:,:hoiiibeforihe:scakiiiires ;CRC at: . . D.C. 2000'2 or fax :to :CRC202/547;. Elli.S:".LSIainLin.Ne.;:Yiii.k.HaibtiCiv.as:eitensiNielY:resitirettiii...... the :80!S. part of: the:: renniiation.::a : irark: created to memfirialize. the : who Caine tt.i:the: -United .:States.:Anuinberof fbur-hit high : I ickets will lie mailed to tures:.by:Philip Wither are'.(iii.iierniatient need:not be :present to win at drawing.: . .... striungMatuWitIta Sack Is i-arePlica::of one:of May 4, 2000 ...... CRC People Highlighted Rick Kuhn CRC Needs

(l to r) Rick, and * Free or reduced-fee office space. Get a tax write- his children oil:as you help kids and CRC. 1,200 square feet or Christine, more anywhere in the Washington, U.C. area Kevin and (Maryland, D.C. or Virginia). Gary.

* A new photocopy machine. Rick Kuhn has helped enormously to trouble shoot computer programs, and to upgrade our main website, at * Volunteers to help with filing, phone calls, and gocrc.com writing letters. Rick is also a CRC evaluator of research, and finds important information on joint custody and access (visitation) that we periodically share with our readers in this newslet- * Our chapters need computers. ter. Seven years ago, Rick received helpful information from John Bauserman, Sr., CRC's ace researcher on joint cus- * Lawyers to write CRC Amicuss Brief's on appeal. tody (shared parenting). Shortly after that, Rick volunteered to help CRC with statistics and computer work, and set up a website for the Maryland chapter. Our chapters around the country could use Rick has three children, who keep him busy. He also office space, photocopiers, and volunteers, too! serves as a den leader fOr his sons' cubscout pack. "Rick is an excellent researcher, always accessible, and never says 'no' when it comes to helping CRC," said CRC President David L. Levy. "He is one of those terrific individuals a group comes to rely on very heavily."

Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

7 4 BEST COPYAVAILABLE Upcoming Event Beat the Tax Man: Stepfamily Association of America Contribute to CRC The National Conference on Stepfamilies, sponsored by the Stepfamily Keep working for children. If you Association of Americaa, will be held at the New Orleans Marriott Hotel, Feb. wish to consider leaving a bequest 22-24, 2001, a few days before Mardi Gras. SAA is a national affiliate organiza- or property to CRC, please state tion of CRC. This promises to be SAA's biggest conference ever. Speakers the following in your will: "I include Constance Aprons, Margorie Engel, E. Mavis Hetherington, Wade hereby leave the following to the Horn, David L. Levy, Neil Tift, and Emily andJohn Visher. Registration $349, Children'sRightsCouncil: phone 617/469-6789, or email [email protected] Hotel rooms $209, phone ___(state your bequest)_.' 1-800-228-9290, mention SAA conference. Around the Country

Virginia Group to Steinberg said the network is impor- In 1996, the State Legislature tant to make sure that the law is imple-passed welfare reform legislation that Implement Required mented. provided for a 10 percent increase in Parenting Education He said that the model curriculumthe cash assistance check a family re- for the course was established by a Vir- ceives when that family includes a man ginia Supreme Court committee. Theand a woman legally married to each Works to curriculum states that one purpose of theother and there are dependent chil- Implement course is "to encourage positive involve-dren of one or both. One of the main Parenting ment of both parents in the lives of theirpurposes of welfare reform is to en- Education children." courage the formation and stability of Steinberg is treasurer of the organi-two-parent families who receive pub- A groupzation. Others are parent educatorslic assistance. called the Parentthroughout Virginia. The president of fw-ther encourage this goal, the Education Net-the organization is Ann Warshauer, alegislature increased the marriage in- Steinberg work (PEN) hasparent education/mediator in Fallscentive payment from 10 percent of been establishedChurch, VA. the calculated cash assistance benefit in Virginia to assure compliance with For those who wish to obtain a copyto a flat $100 a month payment, added a family-oriented parenting educationof the curriculum, phone 804-786-6984,to the regular monthly benefit amount. law (see Summer 2000 "Speak Out fOrand ask for House Document No. 26, For example, die current maximum Children). 2000, which is the "Model Parent Edu-cash assistance benefit for a family of The law requires all parents in-cation Curriculum and a Study of Re-four is $412 per month. If the family volved in custody or visitation (access)lated Custody and Visitation Issues." includes a man and woman legally mar- disputes to attend parent education Steinberg may be contacted atried to each other, they will receive an seminars in the state of Virginia. [email protected] or by phone at 1- additional $100, for a total monthly crash law takes effect July 1, 2001. 804 -559 -7090. assistance payment of $512. Prior to The Parent Education Network July, 2000, die family would receive a will teach the effects of divorce on chil- West Virginia marriage incentive of only $41. dren, present alternative ways to re- "The Legislature recognized that solve conflict resolution than litigation, Encourages Two- a key to helping families on cash as- including mediation, and alternative Parent Families sistance achieve self-sufficiency is to parenting arrangements. have both parents in die home, pro- Murray Steinberg, head of the Starting in July, 2000, the state ofviding a stable environment This in- Family Resolution Council in Rich-West Virginia started increasing thecreased marriage incentive was de- mond, Virginia, an affiliate of CRC, led marriage incentive payment made tosigned with this intent," said a press the long effint to get Virginia to requirecash assistance recipients. The cash as-release from the Office of Family Sup- parenting education 'Or all divorcingsistance program in West Virginia isport within die WV Department of parent~. known as WV WORKS. Health and Human Services.

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 9

75 BEST COPYAVAILABLE Shared Parenting It Makes Sense Theme for CRC's 13th National Conference May 4-6, 2001

Catherine Meyer, author of "They access to two parents and others Are My Children, Too," Honorary who have bonded with the child. President of the Children's Rights Council, and wife of the British' Ambas- Best in Media Awards sador to the U.S., announces CRC will Possible contenders are: hold its 13th national conference, May best treatment of children and 4-6, 2001, at the Holiday Inn, Bethesda, parents of divorce in the news Maryland, adjacent of Washington, media (including newspapers, D.C. Lady Meyer announced that Mark magazines, TV andradio Roseman, CRC Connecticut coordina- coverage); tor, who has 8 years experience in con- best media coverage of a county ference management, will be confer- agency that provides programs for ence coordinator. Barbara Steinberg, teenage pitrents;. Ph.D., is coordinating the faculty of presenters. Active Parenting "'fins three day conference is multi- Possible contenders are: disciplinary arid will focus on parenting (r to 1) CRC Honorary President Catherine Meyer; programs that help with family for children of never-married, separated Willie Lewis, a friend of Lady Meyer, who is formation and family preservation; assisting with the benefit reception May j; and divorced parents, as well as national conference coordinator Mark Roseman, and CRC programs that help parents do and international kidnapping of chil- President David L. Leery, gather at the Embassy to better parenting in the event of dren," says Meyer. discuss plans. divorce. Conference seminars will be available for parents of kidnapped children, Both you and the nominee will be experts in The Abuse Excuse, educators, Awards Time Again expected to attend the CRC conference, therapists, psychologists, mediators, At the 2001 conference, CRC willwhere you will present the award to the faith -based community, lawyers, govern- present ChiefJustice Warren E. Burgerwinner on behalf of CRC at the banquet ment officials, access (visitation) staff, awards for "Healers" among judges, law-Thursday evening, May 4, 2000. attorneys and child advocates. yers, and others; Best in Media Awards; Enclose each nomination with a one Call the Holiday Inn at 1- 877 -888-and Active Parenting Awards. CRC hasor two page letter explaing why the nomi- 3001 for hotel registration, $99 a night;presented such awards at past confer-nee should be selected, together with a mention CRC conference. ences. These coveted awards providesample of the nominee's work. I n all Earlybird conference registration to national recognition for the winners, andcases, the CRC chapter in your state (if April 15, $275 for CRC members; $32.5an engraved plaque and other citations.there is a chapter) must support the for non-members. After that, add addi-More than one award may be given innomination. See list of chapters in this tional $40 for registration. Phone 202-each category. Only current members ofnewsletter. If no chapter, the nomina- 547 -6227, orregister online atnational CRC may submit an applica-tion must be supported by at least one www.gocrc.com. Student/Scholarshiption. If unsure whether your member-other member (beside yourself) of na- Rate $190. ship is current, contact CRC office intional CRC. If unsure whether your na- All rates include six meals 3 conti-Washington, D.C. tional membership is current, contact nental breakfasts (Friday, Saturday, Sun- CRC. lay), two lunches (Friday, Saturday), and Healer Awards Send all nominations and support- banquet Friday evening. The Healer Awards are named ining documents to: honor of Warren E. Burger, the late Mark Roseman, CliiefJustice of the United States When CRC Conference Coordinator CEU's arc available through he was ChiefJustice, Burger urged law- 48 Shepards Knoll Drive American Psychological Assn. yers to be "healers," not just "litigators." Hamden, CT 06514 and the Family Therapy Insti- A "Healer" might be phone: 203/288-7827 tute, Rockville, MD. CLE's a judge who takes the lead in fax: 203/281-1425 arc available for attorneys promoting joint custody (shared email: [email protected] through the American Bar As- parenting); Do not send nominations to the sociation and state bar associa- an attorney with a professionalCRC office; that will only delay the pro- tions. track record of promoting a child's cess. Send them to Mark Roseman. 'flunk you. Page 10 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

7 6 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Come to the Children's Rights Council 13th National Conference May 4-6, 2001 Holiday Inn Hotel Bethesda, Maryland

Shared ParentingIt Makes Sense All rates include 6 mealsContinental breakfast Fri- "CRC conferences are fantastic! High energy, lots of ideas,day, Sahirday, and Sunday; two lunches Friday and Satur- terrific networking, the latest information on children andday; and Banquet Friday evening. families to energize you and your colleagues back home." Margaret Wuwert, Ohio, grandmother, Gala Benefit Reception attended 4 conferences Benefit for Children's Rights Council at the British Ambassador's Residence, 3100 Massachusetts Avenue "The quality of speakers and information offered at CRCN.W., Washington, D.C. (adjacent to the Vice-President's conferences is the best bang for the buck I have ever seen Home). CRC is requesting from $500 to $5,000 per ticket. mid I attend many conferences!" Free transportation from hotel to the Embassy. David Arnaudo, firmer administrator, 'Thursday evening, May 3, from 6 to 8 p.m. (the evening federal access (visitation) grants to the states, before the CRC Conference). Child Support Office, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). For CRC Members $100 (2 for $195). Conference Additional tax-deductible contribution $ More than 30 conference seminars for parents, child advocates, stepparents, grandparents, social workers, pedia- 'Total enclosed _ tricians, educators, experts in The Abuse Excuse, therapists, pyschologists, mediators, faith-based community, govern- Membership in CRC is $35 per year. ment officials, access (visitation) experts, and attorneys. Note: Please consider an additional contribution to Registration $275 (CRC member) help make this conference and the Gala Fundraiser Re- 325 (non-member) ception a success. Thank you. 190 (student/scholarship rate) Day Rate (Fri, Sat or Sun) 100 All contributions to CRC are tax-deductible to the ex- CEUs (Al'A) or CLEs 10 tent allowed by law.

Your name

Address

Phone Fax

Enclosed is per registrant. I enclose check, money order, or charge my Visa MC or AMEX

Account No Exp date

I can't attend but wish to make a tax-deductible contribution to the success of the events.

Make Your Own Hotel Reservation by April 10. Call Holiday Inn Bethesda, Maryland at 1-877-888-3001, $99 a night; mention CRC conference. Shuttle service between airports; subway connection from National Airport.

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 11

71 Chapter News

Co-Mamas Affiliates on "To Tell the Truth." After contes-Begin, of Atlanta, certified as a Family tants tried to guess who was telling theLife Educator by the National Council with CRC truth, the host said, on Family Relations. "Now will the real Co-Manias Please PCI was instrumental in convincing Stand Up." Congress in 1993 to declare the fourth They just received a contract withSunday in July as National Parents Day. Simon and Schuster/Fireside to publishEach year, groups around the country a book about their struggle, which re-are urged to hold celebrations and ac- sulted in the organization Co-Mamas. tivities acknowledging parents. Louise has years of experience con- PCI describes itself as the "clearing- ducting seminars and trainings. Lynnehouse of clearinghouses." Its website is co-developed a technique to helpparentingcoalition.org Lynne Oxhorm Louise Oxhorn people who stutter. Prior to the 9th annual Family Re- Ringwood The Second Wife The Ex-Wye 'They work with a psychologist, Dr.Union Conference in Nashville, Tennes- Marjorie Krausz, who has 27 years ofsee in November, sponsored by Vice- psychological experience. Dr. KrauszPresident Al Gore and Vanderbilt Uni- has led workshops on such topics as Theversity, Rollins led a networking session Dynamics of Healthy Relationships,that included CRC, Parents Without Parenting, and Coping with DifficultPartners, and other groups. See Page 30 People. for additional information on PCI. See page 30 for information on how to reach Co-Mamas. First Ever Chapter in Dr. Marjorie Krausz Maine Psychologist and Parenting Coalition Stepmother International Affiliates Jan Brown of with CRC Maine has formed Co-Mamas. What an interesting the first ever CRC name! Louise Ox horn and Lynne chapter in that state. Ox horn-Ringwood barely knew each Jan is a custodial other when they found themselves part mother of children of a new step-family. Louise had mar- Desiree, 18, and ried Lynne's ex-husband. These two Sean, 10, but whose husband Tedd has women had something important in Jan Brown common, raising Lynne's 5 year old son gone through an Evan. And like many ex-wives and sec- enormous battle with his ex-wife over ond wives, they disliked each other. access to his children Charlotte, 11, and For 10 years, Louise and Lynne Belinda Rollins Suzanne Begin TJ., 7. Tedd has not seen his two chil- President Board Chairman fumbled around each other, often using dren, who live in Massachusetts, for four Evan to communicate. Lynne, like many years. Jan is a paralegal student, clue to ex-wives, felt replaced. Louise, like many Belinda Rollins, the indefatigablegraduate in 2001, Jan opened the first step-moms, felt Lynne was trying to in-head of Parenting Coalition Interna-ever Men's Help Line in Maine, tollfree trude on her new life. The hostilitytional, Inc. has accepted an invitationat 1-877-643-1120, access code 0757, bubbled silently just below the surfacefrom CRC to affiliate her organizationwhich also makes referrals to the exist- of every decision and everything that in-with CRC. Rollins, whose organizationing 14 projects for women across the volved Evan. is based in Washington, D.C., has spentstate. Jan plans to work on the legisla- One day they got together and de-more than six years building a coalitiontive front for more prosecution of false cided to cooperate instead of fight Thatof parenting organizations. PCI works toallegations, so officials can provide help worked so well, they decided to helphelp parenting organizations around theto children who really are abused. other people. The result was an organi-country to fulfill their own missions by They live in Harmony, a town one zation which now receives calls from improved networking with other groups,hour from August, the state capitol. around the country and TV appear-including potential fwuling sources. ances. They recently appeared on TV PCI's Board Chairman is Suzanne

Page 12 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001 78 40017 irt°17credoge:,' ShowsConnectionbetween U.S. CensusBureau Support Again TheParenting andFinancial Child Shared (shared parenting) connection betweenjoint custody Census Bureauhas shown a For the secondtime, the U.S. financial child support. custodial parentswith joint (legal) and a higherpayment of 2000 found that83 percent of hand, among report releasedin October support they weredue On the other A Census Bureau received some orall of the child received any support.The most custody andvisitation arrangements only 36 percentof custodial parents nor visitation, for support are,in percentages: parents withneither joint custody that would provide for not having alegal agreement frequently given reason legal and go tocourt (32.4); could for support Parents did notfeel the need to get the other parentprovided what they could not afford to payor that Felt that theother parent (about 23 percenteach). (18.9) Did not wantother parent to pay establish paternity(17.5) Did not legally other parent(15.3). Did not want tohave contact with Other reasons(14.3) other parent(13.3) Could not locate of the time(12.7) Child stays withother parent part 1997 (P60-212). Child was tooold (0.4) Mothers and Fathers: Bureau, ChildSupport for Custodial Source: U.S. Census child supportaward said 66 percentof mothers with a Bureau report that to pay. This confirms anearlier (1992) Census fathers were unable the father saidit is because the between joint custody(shared parenting) who did not receivepayment from found the connection (1997) U.S. CensusBureau report And an earlier owed, 79.1 percentof and a higher paymentof financial support. joint custody paidall of their support found that 90.2of fathers with while only 44.5 percentof fathers with The earlier report children paid partof their support, fathers with access(visitation) to their visitation paid childsupport. neither joint custody nor 7096 of HighlyConflicted "Parenting," Not"Paternity" Reach Parenting Parents Start Saying officials and child support Agmeznents Some parentingactivists, state ofchild support A Special Masters that sell products to program to help highly vendors (companies phrase "parentageestablish- flicted parents con- fices) are starting touse the to cooperate in the establishment." Paternityrefers only has been established raising of their child ment," not "paternity mothers and in several states. while parentagerefers to fathers, One such program, to fathers, that requires both in New York State,is a spe- children is an effort cialized mediationservice for parents children. Raising of born in hos- who havea high fathersand thisincludes babies level of conflict,are chronic litigators mothers and Parentage gets parents and whose chil- never-married parents. dren Pay the pricefor this conflict pitals to mutually responsible thinking from Day1 that they are In New York, 70percent of parents have Parentage suggeststhat parents parenting agreements. reached for raising oftheir child. agreement as tohow they willprovide Because of the need a parenting high conflicttheparents are usu- emotionally andfinancially. ally seen separatelynot togethe for their child are involved aged to adopt r. Parents are encour- Research showsthat when both parents a flexibleposition rather do better on all mea- or the highway." than "myway in raising theirchildren, children behavior. (SeeAmerican Psychological Much attention surements of Report, is given to the introductionof Association, Section onSchool Psychology solution focusedmodels or problem Rights Council,300 Connecticut solving. 1998, availablefrom the Children's and Californiaare among other 20002.) states offering similar "I" Street N.E.,Washington, 1).C. programs. For more information,contact CRC.

From Volume 15, Number 3/4, Fall 2000/Winter 2001, Speak Out for Children, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 phone (202) 547-6227 79 Congressional Upate

New Law Would Ksiablish Police-Station ACTION ALEKII ACTION ALERT' Type Transfers for Write to Appropriations Committee Chairman Stevens (Senate) and Young Children (House) urging more funds for Family Friendly Programs, and only $1 million a year for Police Station Type Supervised Access to Children Congress has passed a $30 million dollar provision$15 million a year for C. W. Bill Young. each of 2 yearsto establish supervised Chairman, House Appropriations Committee visitation as part of an effort to protect H-218 Women Against Violence. Washington, D.C. 20515 Section 305 of the Violence Against Women Act signed by President Clinton Senator Ted Stevens, would authorize the Attorney General Chairman, Senate Appropriations Committee to set up such sites around the country. S-128 To receive funding, states or non- Washington, D.C. 20510 profit groups would have to work with local women's shelters, and organizations designed to protect women from Dear violence. Organizations which operate super- I urge Congress to fund the pilot program for supervised visitation under vised access sites find that violence the Violence Against Women Act for only $1 million a year, not $15 million. against women or children constitute The balance of the funds should go to increase the $10 million a year pro- about 15 percent of the clients who use vided by the Welfare Reform law for six different types of programs for the these sites. Other reasons that judges states, including supervised access to children, transfer of children between par- refer parents to the site are for alcohol ents, mediation, parenting education, and parenting plans. tall' substance abuse problems, severe Setting up sites in cooperation with domestic violence shelters has already communication problems between the proven to be unworkable, because too many children and parents feel uncom- parents, or re-entry of a parent into a fortable in such police station type settings. child's life after a long absence. Existing supervised sites run by the Children's Rights Council and other About 40 percent of parents court groups provide security and safety, but they are run in a "neutral" way that ordered to use these sites are women. respects parents, and helps them do better by their children. CRC has operated one supervised Visit one of these existing sites. Call CRC at 202-.547-6227, or see their access site in Maryland for more than a website at gocrc.com year. We take security precautions to Please provide just $1 million a year for the "pilot program" in VAWA and protect participants, but we believe that provide other funds to proven, established programs. the requirement to work with domestic violence shelters would lead to super- Signed, vised visitation in settings that are as dif- Your name ficult for parents and children as police stations. Families need "neutral settings" and Short Version so long as these settings protect children and parents and offer a "Safe Haven" I urge Congress to fund the pilot program fin. supervised visitation under for transitional parenting to take place, the Violence Against Women Act for only $1 million a year. Give the other they should receive funding. $14 provided in the pilot program to increase funding for access (visitation) Although this bill is now law, THE programs provided for in the Welfare Reform Act, including transfer sites for FUNDING FOR THE BILL WILL children, mediation, parenting education and parenting plans. NOT OCCUR UNTIL FEBRUARY, WHEN THE NEW CONGRESS Print your name, address and date on the letter (not just on the envelope) Send a copy, with request for reply, to your own House Member and Sena- CONVENES. We ask you to write the following tors. letter to the Appropriations Committees Send a copy to CRC, at fax 202-546-4272 or address, 300 "I" Street N.E., in the House and the Senate. Washington, D.C. 20002. Page 14 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

so EST COPY HAMA Language of Act to (1) demonstrate expertise in the area (B) die numbers of supervised or safe of family violence, including the areas visitation exchanges under a separation Establish Supervised of domestic violence or sexual assault,or divorce decree or protection order, Access in Police- as appropriate through child protection services or Station Type Settings (2) ensure that any fees charged toother social services agencies, or by any individuals for use of programs and ser-other order of a civil, criminal, juvenile, Violence Against Women Act, H.R.vices are based on the income of those or family court; (C) die process by which children or 1258 individuals, unless otherwise provided by Title III, Subtitle B Limiting thecourt order; abused partners are protected (luring Effects of Violence on Children (3) demonstrate that adequate secu-visitations, temporary custody transfers Section 305. SAFE HAVENS FORrity measures, including adequate facili-and other activities for which supervised CHILDREN PILOT PROGRAM. ties, procedures, and personnel capablevisitation is established under this sec- (a) In General - The Attorney Gen-of preventing violence are in place fortion; eral may award grants to States, units ofthe operation of supervised visitation (D) safety and security problems oc- local government, and Indian schoolprograms and services or safe visitationcurring during die reporting period (lur- governments that propose to enter intoexchange; and ing supervised visitation under this sec- or expand the scope of existing contracts (4) prescribe standards by which dietion, including die number of parental and cooperative agreements with publicsupervised visitation or safe visitationabduction cases,and or nonprofit entities to provide super-exchange will occur. (E) die number of parental abduc- vised visitation and safe visitation ex- (d) REPORTING tion cases in a judicial district among change of children by and between par- (1) IN GENERAL - Not more thansupervised visitation programs and ser- ents in cases of domestic violence, child 1 year after die last day of die first fiscalvices under this section, both as identi- abuse or sexual assault. year commencing on or after the date offied in criminal prosecution and custody (1) CONSIDERATIONS - Indie enactment of this Act, and not laterviolations. awarding grants under subsection (a) thethan 180 days after die last (lay of each (2) The Attorney General shall es- Attorney General shall take into accountfiscal year thereafter, die Attorney Gen-tablish guidelines for die collection and (b) the number of families to beeral shall submit to Congress a reportreporting of data under this subjection. served by the proposed visitation pro-that includes information concerning (c) AUTHORIZATION OF AP- gram and services; (A) die number of PROPRIATIONS There is autho- (2) the extent to which die proposed (i) individuals served and the num-rized to be appropriated from the Vio- supervised visitation programs and ser-ber of individuals turned away from visi-lence Crime Reduction Trust Fund es- vices serve underserved populations (astation programs and services and safetablislied under the Violent Crime Con- defined in section 2003 of tide 1 of the visitation exchange (catalogued by State);trol and Law Enforcement Act of 1994 Omnibus Crime Control and Safe (ii) die number of individuals from(42 U.S.C. 1421) to carry out this sec- Streets Act of 1968 (42 USC. 36796gg-underserved populations served and tion $15,000,000 for each of fiscal years 2); turned away from services, and 2001 and 2002. (3) with respect to an applicant for a (iii) die type of problems that under- (f) ALLOTMENT FOR INDIAN contract or cooperative agreement, thelie die need for supervised visitation orTRIBES Not less than 5 percent of extent to which the applicant demon-safe visitation exchange, such as domes-die total amount mule available for each strates cooperation, and collaborationtic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, fiscal year to carry out this section shall with nonprofit, nongovernment entitles idler physical abuse, or a combinationbe available for grants to Indian tribal in the local community served, includ-of such factors; governments. ing the State domestic violence coalition,State sexual assault coalition, local shelters, and programs for domes- This sign appeared tic violence and sexual assault victims; on 5o buses in and Washington, D.C. (4) the extent to which the applicant during August and demonstrates coordination and collabo- part of September, ration with State and local court systems, including mechanisms for communica- 2000. CRC received tion and referral. (c) APPLICANT REQUIRE- MENTSThe Attorney General shall award grants for contracts and cooperative agreements to applicants that

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 15 81 New Proposal Could Encourage Parental Abductions

The National Conference of Com-jurisdiction. Once the state assumes cus- rile child is physically present in this missioners on Uniform State Lawstody jurisdiction, they can (and mostCommonwealth and (i) the child has (NCCUSL) Family Law Section [http: //likely will) assume child support juris-been abandoned, or (ii) it is necessary www.nccusl.org/diction. in an emergency to protect the child be- unifiirmacts-subjectmatter.litm#family This proposed "Emergency Lan-cause he has been subjected to or threat- has recommended that states adopt aguage" is a major change. It expands theened with mistreatment or abuse or is replacement for the Uniform Child Cus-criteria from abuse, neglect or threat ofotherwise neglected or dependent. tody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA) knownthe same against the child to "threats All courts agree that the "emergency" as the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdic-against parent" 22 states have alreadysection is the one most subject to mation and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA)adopted this law. nipulative abuse by child-snatchers and which can be viewed at As a typical example, in Virginia, thisfiwum-shoppers because it throws out all littp://www.law.upenn.edu/b11/u1c/bill, introduced by Senator Bill Mimms the careful jurisdiction-allocation rules of fhact99/1990s/uccjea97.1itm (R-Leesburg) is SB 462 (carried overthe UCCJA and the PKPA (Parental While the intent of the proposal isfrom 1999.) It can be viewed at lap://Kidnapping Prevention Act) to minimize parental abductions and ju-leg 1.state.va.us /cgi -bin/ This is an important proposal to risdiction shopping, the new "Emer- legp.504.exe?ses=001&typ=bil&valSB462 watch. Most states already have sufficient gencyJurisdiction" language will not only The emergency jurisdiction language domestic violence safety-nets incorpo- defeat the intent of the proposal, but willis in section 20-146.15. 2 20-146.15. rated into their laws. Please share your encourage parental abductions. Temporary emergency jurisdiction. concerns with legislatures that are con- This new "Emergency" language pro- A. A court of this Commonwealthsidering this proposal and for the 22 vides for unsubstantiated "threats" a par-has temporary emergency jurisdiction ifstates that have already adopted this lan- ent claims were made against him/herthe child is present in this Common-guage, collect die data showing how the to be sufficient to nullify, jurisdiction inwealth and the child has been aban-new "emergency custody jurisdiction" the home state. doned or it is necessary in an emergencylanguage has caused an increase in pa- Adoption of this language will allowto protect the child because the child,rental abductions and ask diem to a parent to go to the state with the high-or a sibling or parent of the child, is sub-modify that section so that the law con- est child support guidelines, make anjected to or threatened with mistreatmentforms to NCCUSL's original intent... to unsubstantiated allegation of abuse oror abuse. eliminate "forum-shopping" and paren- threat of abuse against him/her... and Compare this language to the exist-tal abduction. that state can (and will) assume custodying VA Code: Q 20-126A.3:

Updated Parenting Directory Available Intellectual Property Help More People! Find out about the 1,050 other groups around the coun- Pmtection try working on family issues, so that you can make referrals to parents who call Charlitt::Ruggiero;: wltot you and need help. Order CRC's "International Parenting Directory" in hardcopy or disc. It is tamhed::trademark: protection fair also on our parenting website, info4parents.com The Directory contains listings of about 1,050 organizations that work Ri h is Council" and:die:flame auuf in areas such as custody, access (visitation), and prevention of parental ::::1601or.:.our:newsktter-"Sp.6ik kidnapping. Out fOrCliiliireiC:isa:smxialiSt The Directory is $12 for CRC members, and $1.5 for non-members. CRC ilt:trademarkiliatent, and Iiitetisilig: law:: He is::ap;utrier thanks Paul Robinson and Ed Mudrak tiff their hard work in updating this ...... Directory. The hardcopy is updated once a year; the disc and website are updated Greeley, .- Ruggiero anal Perle;_ .1. frequently. Order from CRC and specify which version you wantlardcopy or Landipark.Square..:Sitite 903. .::Staitiford;''Cr 0690telephone disc...... :...... Please fax us corrections or updates on infiwmation whenever you can, to 202-546-4272.

Page 16 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

82 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Congressional'",...." ...... Update Fatherhood Bill Stalled in U.S. Senate

The $1.50 million Fatherhood bill The Fatherhood bill was passed krnizations happy," according to one Capi- that was approved twice by the U.S.the first time by the House in 1999. The tol Hill observer. House of Representatives stalled in thesecond time, it was attached to the Child The federal government mandate for Senate before the November 7 election.Support Omnibus Bill of 2000. That billpass-through was not changed. The bill, H.R. 4689, would have pro-provided that when child support is paid Still, Sen Nickles, who chaired a pow- vided funds to encourage the role of fa-by, say, a father afterthe mother receiveserful Senate committee, would not ap- thers as parents in low income familieswelfare, the child support should be for-prove passage of the over-all legislation. and to help fathers better provide forwarded to the mother. In the past, the Robert Rector of the Heritage Foun- their children. child support would be split 50-50 by the dation, a conservative think tank in There was a strong push to have thestate and the federal government, to re- Washington, D.C., wrote to members of Senate pass the bill in October or earlyimburse them fin the payment of wel-Congress urging that the Fatherhood bill November, but it did not come to afare to the mother. not be passed, because it was "anti -mar- vote. In order to help families, both the riage." The bill could have been considered states and federal government were will- Chairman Nancy Johnson of the if a special session of Congress was con- ing to give up their portion of reim-Human Resources Subcommittee, vened after the November election. Al-bursement. Senator Don Nickles (R-House Ways and Means Committee, ternatively, the bill could be consideredOK) was concerned that the bill wouldwho had led House passage of the bill by the new Congress that convenes in"mandate" the states to pass throughin two occasions, wrote a follow-up let- late January, 2001. their child support reimbursement toter to Congressmembers saying that the Welfare Rekrm, passed by Con-the custodial parent. bill was not anti-marriage. gress for the first time in 1996, is up fin In order to win Nickles's approval, To what extent Sen. Nickles may renewal in 2001. A fatherhood bill mayHouse managers of the bill "convertedhave been affected by the Robert Rec- be considered as part of Welfare RefOrm the mandate to an option, thereby mak-tor letter was unclear. renewal. ing Senator Nickles and the state orga-

C Wants Chapte.rs .=:Evcry:State::,.

ForikveliqinientbrOtAiitrs:in ::States:thatilO:riOt.yet.lfaVeitity:CRC:"

The Year 2000 was CRC's 15th Anniversary .::chapters: But We are Still Celebrating Until British or: nformation:...... states:: ...... out Embassy Reception and Conference! .]:west;::contactERC:Board:Member::: ...... from...... the cl lapte rs: Terry Gad in 11-

We appreciate everyone who has worked for children and CRC. We thank Re:: states in southcontact Board: Advisor fromflm: chapters::: all those who have enabled CRC to improve the lives of children and families. So many have given so much, of their time, elfin-Ls, and financial contributions. :::Re:::states: the:east;: contact Board Advisor from::the.:thpters..: For 2000-2001, CRC has three new levels of support of CRC. They are: A PLATINUM LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $.5,000 or more Margaret: Wuwert:In: See their narnei;::and: numbers A GOLD LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $2,.500 to $4,999. A SILVER LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $1,000 to $2,499. above. A LIFE MEMBER is one who donates CRC $500 to $999. Jnin:.CRC, :then a.Sk for a :.copy :of: die: 00Page:CRC:Niciklet: that Anyone who has contributed to CRC in the past may increase the donation :e.xpbuns eyerything -yott: need !to):! to reach any of the life member levels. If you are unsure about your previous (ostof donation level, contact CRC, and we would be glad to let you know. Thank ...... you.

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 17

83 BEST COPYAVAILABLE Children's Rights Council _200/CATALOG OF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANY BOOKS DISCOUNTED! Buy at Discount & Sell for Full Price to Your Group Make $$$ c-yr Give Copies to Educate Judges nr Pnlicyma.kers Discounted Books Arc in .13n1d717ype

BOOKS FOR KIDS BOOKS FOR PARENTS

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses children understand divorce and sends a how to share your children with your ex- good message. spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida co- SB-107 ------$5.99 ordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! HB-206 Reg. $18.95 *Discount Price$9.00 The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate honest and open Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. communication between adults and children at the trau- Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the matic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for kids. impact of divorce on children through different stages of their lives. My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and SB-207 Reg. $22.50 *Discount Price$5.00 Area Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My Body for Boys." SB-109 Reg. $11.95 *Discount Price$6.00

84 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par-REVISED! ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough Parenting" gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as and 'Winning the Custody War Without Casualties" partners, not enemies. SB-218 ------$24.95 SB-208 $23.00 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where HB-219 ------$19.50 parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. Familyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by HB-209 ------$23.00 Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to com- A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book municating values. HB-220 ...... Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $10.00 that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to SB-210 Reg. $10.00 *Discount Price$5.00 Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc- book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own re- for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 search, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- information. vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for SB-211 Reg. $22.95 *Discount Price $10.00 $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed REVISED! by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make names). two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages SB-221 ---- Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 to this dassic book! Individual copies $10.00 SB-212 $20.00 Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nation- Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- ally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. HB-222 ------$25.00 Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when The Sibling Society, by Robert Bly, 1996, author of "Iron realized, strengthen families and relationships. John." Describes our culture as one where adults re- SB-213 ------$14.00 main children, and children have no desire to become The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, adults-a nation of squabbling siblings. by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. HB-223 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $12.00 SB-214 Reg. $16.95 *Discount Price$7.00 NEW! Putting Kids First, by Michael Ceasefire, by Cathy Young, 1999, syndicated columnist. Why women and men must join forces to achieve true equal- Oddenino. A must read for caring parents ity; how that will help children, too. and professionals, by CRC's General Coun-HB-224 ------$25.00 sel. Includes a children's bill of rights. SB-215 ------$9.95 Saying No Is Not Enough, by Richard Schwebel, Ph.D., 1989. Raising children SecondChances,byJudith who make wise decisions about drugs and Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. alcohol. Based on ten year longitudinal study of SB-225 ------$11.00 the effects of divorce on adults and children. HB-216 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price$5.00 Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher, 1996, syndicated columnist. Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par- How we destroy lasting love. ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. HB-226 $25.00 and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid in discussing the problems of children being raised by Friends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, single parents. 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult SB-217 Reg. $14.00 *Discount Price $10.00 daughters.

85 Talking Back to Rita lin, by Peter R. BOOKS FOR STEPPARENTS Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. What doctors aren't telling you about the dan- How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. gers of stimulants. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the HB-228 ------$25.00 Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. The Assault on Parenthood, by DanaHB-301 ------$13.95 Mack, 1997. The author, a scholar at the Institute for American Values, describes Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/ how our culture undermines the family. New Rules, by Claire Berman, 1986. Former HB-229 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $10.00 president of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical help and insights. Babyhood, by Paul Reiser, 1997. This SB-302 $7.95 is not a how-to-book. It is rather, humor, and funny stories, by the star, co-creator Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by and executive producer of the NBC Se- Mala Burt for the Stepfamily Association of ries Mad About You. Reiser's first book, America. Couplehood, was a #1 New York Times SB-303 ------$9.95 bestseller list. HB-230 Reg. $22.00 BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS *Discount Price $10.00 Grandparenting: It's Not What It Used Working Fathers, by James A. Levine, CRC Advisor, and Todd L. Plttinsky. A guide to help fathers as well as to be, by Irene Endicott, forward by Gloria mothers, employees and manages, succeed in manag- Gatiher, ExpertAnswers to your questions. ing the competitive demands of home and work. SB-402 ------Reg. $15.00 *Discount Price$7.00 HB-231 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 The War Against Parents, by Sylvia Grandparenting in a Changing World, Ann Hewlett and Cornel West.Praised by by Edna LeShan, 1997. "Common sense CRC in a letter to the Washington Post presented with uncommon grace." - Book World when the book was pub- Kirkus Reviews. lished in 1998. SB-401 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price$6.00 HB-232$24.00 *Discount Price $10.00

The Divorce Culture, by Barbara Dafoe BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS Whitehead (1996). Worth reading for its insightful views of marriage and divorce, but deficient Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's in not recognizing the phenomenon of the "forced Journey, by CRC's own Serge Prengel, away" and "pushed away" parents. 1998. Published with praise from Warren HB-233 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Farrell, Karen DeCrow, and James A. Cook. SB-2501 ------$13.95 Business Dad, by Tom Hirschfeld. How Good Business- men Can Make Great Fathers (and Vice Versa), 1999. Surviving Divorce-Women's Re- Recommended by Stephen R. Covey author of The 7 sources After Separation, by Mavis habits of Highly Effective People, and by James A. Maclean, 1991. Women coping with earnings, Levine, director, The Fatherhood Project, Families and maintenance and welfare in the U.S., France, and Great Work Institute. Britain. HB-218 Reg. $17.25 *Discount Price $10.00 HB-502 $5.00 Ask the Children, by Ellen Galinsky,Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story, by president of the Families and Work Insti- John Thorndike, 1996.A memoir of Thorndike's life with tute, 1999. What America's Children Re- his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make ally Think about Working Parents. regarding their son's life. HB-235 ------Reg. $25.00 HB-503 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $12.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. Shows the devastating consequences of fatherlessness in both individual families and in our society. HB-504 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00

86 The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu- One Swell Dad, by Pat Ross, 1992. The book of memories linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents the argu- and expressions of fatherly endearment from the past. ment that American men are in crisis and includes what HB-518 $9.00 lead to this phenomenon. HB-505 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by GeofferyFamily Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase system to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to litigation. Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M.HB-601 ------$45.00 Berger, 1996. SB-507 $22.00 Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults Re- Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, cover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth and desires. Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-602 $15.00 SB-509 Reg. $5.99 *Discount Price$3.00

Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-sell-Parent Vs. Parent: How You and Your Child Can ing book for fathers who want to maintain con- Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman, tact with their children. M.D., 1990. Expert advice for parents through all stages of SB-510 $12.50 the divorce process. HB-603 $20.95 The Divorced Parent: Success Strate- gies for Raising Your Children AfterBetween Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Di- Separation, by Stephanie Marston, 1994. Provides prac- vorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the funda- tical advice and specific tools for raising well-adjusted chil- mental skills of negotiation conflict resolution and me- dren. diation, for everyone's good. HB-511 $21.00 SB-604 Reg. $13.95 *Discount Price$6.00 Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A collection of stories on being a man at mid life in LEGAL ISSUES America, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. HB-512 Reg. $21.95 *Discount Price $11.00 NEW! From Courtship to Courtroom: What Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster Divorce Law Is Doing to Mariage, by Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about Jed H. Abraham, 2000. Abraham, a lawyer, child custody and child support for a single mediator, and joint custody advocate, writes parent. a chilling picture of how today's divorce laws SB-513 $21.95 make life miserable for families. The Single Parent's Money Guide, by SB-701 $15.00 Emily Card, 1996. A plan for managing your A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, money when you are the only one your family can count 1997. A discussion of a divorced father's on. struggle with the child custody industry. SB-514 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price$6.00 HB-703 Reg. $21.00 Questions from Dad, by CRC Spokesperson and pop *Discount Price $10.00 singer Dwight Twilley, 1994. A very cool way to communicate with your child. Introduced by Dr. Susan Forward. The Custody Revolution, by Richard SB-515 ------$17.00 Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique. I Am the Mother of Sons. Poems by Jayne Jaudon Ferrer, HB-704 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $15.00 1996. Illustrated by Lina Levy. HB-516 ------$10.00 Custody for Fathers, by Carleen and Michael Brennan, 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have Men on Divorce-The Other Side of the Story, ed- helped fathers win (share) custody of their children in ited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Spano, 1997. a mom-biased system. SB-517 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 HB-705 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $12.00 Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, Children Held Hostage, Dealing with J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- Programmed and Brainwashed Chil- tem and its effects on divorcing couples. dren, by Stanley S. Clawar, Ph.D., C.C.S. and HB-706------$10.95 Brynne Rivlin, M.S.S., 1991. This book is approved by the American Bar Association. The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce/Cus- SB-905 ------$50.00 tody Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the le- Besharov, Ph.D., a resident scholar of the American Enter- gal insights of Williams Dawes, Esq., 1997. prise Institute. A comprehensive guide to recognizing, pre- SB-707 $15.00 venting, and handling child abuse and neglect. SB-906 ------$12.00 Every Parent's Guide to the Law, by Deborah L. Forman. Everything you need to know about legal issuesThe Book of David, How Preserving Families Can affecting parents and children pre-birth through the child- Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gelles, 1996. Acon- rearing years. vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- $18.00 SB-708 fare system. Divorce Yourself, the National No-Fault DivorceHB-907 ------$23.00 Kit, by Daniel Sitarz, 3rd ed. 1993. Everything you and Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, by your spouse will need to obtain your divorce without Alex V. Levin, MD., and Mary S. Sheridan, using a lawyer. Instructions, easy-to-use legal forms, 1995. Issues in Diagnosis and Treatment. checklists, and courtroom guidelines. Legally valid in Deliberate creation or false reporting of ill- all 50 states and D.C. ness, to gain attention for the caretaker. SB-709 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $15.00 This is a form of child abuse. HB-908 Reg. $60.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING *Discount Price $30.00 The Abuse Excuse-And Other Cop-Outs, by noted Autographed Copies! IawyerAlan Dershowitz, 1994. Sob stories and evasions They Are My Children, Too, by Catherine Meyer, 1999. of responsibility. Powerful account of a mother's loss of her children. A caseHB-909 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 of international parental kidnapping. Written by CRC's new Honorary President. HB-801 ------$23.00 PSYCHOLOGY Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, by Verena Kast, 1997. When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca Self-Help/Psychology. A modern analysis of parent-child re- Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents lationships and their psychological effects - both negative searching for their children and abductors who have taken and positive. them; also makes public policy recommendations. SB-1001 ------$13.00 HB-802 $22.95 CHILD ABUSE VIDEOS Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong,Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth 1996. False accusations of child abuse: A road map for Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex-

. survivors that helps to answer their questions. perience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- SB-901 $15.95 award winning video prepared by CRC's National Parent Education Director. The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for men-V101 ------$25.00 tal health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authoritative work on the Parental Alienation Syn- Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- drome. ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that SB-903 ------$35.00 provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. V102 ------$20.00 NEW! Therapeutic Interventions for Children with Pa-Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- rental Alienation Syndrome, by Richard A. Gardner, tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, M.D. (2001). This is a book for therapists working with fami- M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- lies where children are alienated from a parent. ate the child against the other parent. SB-904 ------not for parents.V103 ------$25.00 REPORTS Button created by Patti Diroff that says "Child support is more than a check, it's Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. being a parent." With CRC logo, includ- Updated 1997. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may ing children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2- be available. 1/4" diameter. R101 $10.00 B202 $2.00

Parenting Plans. Three different parenting plans that can help you and other parents. T-SHIRTS $10.00 R102 CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help Joint Custody as a Child's Righta law review ar- Stop Crime, Give Children 2 Parents" Specify size: child S, ticle (1988), a legal brief with citations up to 1994 and a M, L; Adult S, M, L, XL. Specify report by Section 16 of the American Psychological Asso- color: white or blue. ciation describing "favorable outcomes" for children with joint --- $10 adults, $8 children custody (1995) R103 ------$10.00 Send for a list of other reports.

PINS AND BUTTONS MUGS Each white ceramic mug says "Children's The famous "Children First" pin. Rights Council" and "The Best Parent is 8 colors, with figures of seven Both Parents." A Mark Roseman cre- children standing on a field of ation. green with logo "Children First." Two prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" ------$8 each or two for $15. Add $2 for shipping first mug, $1 each wide. additional mug. P101 $8.00

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Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Title Title Suite 401 Total Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 (10% off for CRC members; Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 membership is $35/year) Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 Total S/H $4,00 first item $1.00 each addtl. Item Total enclosed SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP: I.

8 9 IRE AT COPY HAMMES Equal Parents' Week Sent a Message Around the World September 25-October 1, 2000 By Patti Diroff CRC National Director of Equal Parents Week

"The Best Parent is Both Parents" message was sent this year with purple International News ribbons and candlelight vigils in 25 states. Equal Parents Week Vigils were held Two international events took place in prominent locations such as the Historic Liberty Bell in Philadelphia and the during Equal Parents' Week. On Octo- Jacob Purdy House in White Plains, New York. Individuals and organizations ber 2, the Equal Parenting Party of En- in the following states participated this year: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Cali- gland (CRC of the UK) presented the fornia, Connecticut, Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, government with the Petition for Equal Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nebraska, New Jersey, New York, North Parenting containing more than 20,000 Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia and Wisconsin. signatures. This day marked the 1-year Trough the efforts of Margaret Wuwert, CRC Ohio Coordinator and her anniversary of the UK's Human Rights enlisted support of Judge Andrew Devine of the Juvenile Court, Ohio Gover- Act, which requires British judges to nor Robert Taft formally adopted the Equal Parents' Week from Septeniber apply the European Convention on 17-23, 2000. A family/social theme was designated for each day (luring the week Human Rights in domestic courts. ..uid week-long activities took place involving several community groups. During September and October, a This year, support for Equal Parents' Week gained significant international Canadian movement called "Unity momentum and support. Six foreign countriesCanada, England, Spain, Bra- Trek" held meetings in various parts of zil, Argentina, and Chilewere the sites for thirteen vigils and purple ribbon Canada to gain political, public and me- displays. dia attention to the issues of family, di- There are universal issues which affect people throughout the world. Many vorce court, and enforcement of custody people have heartfelt devotion to their children and families. They have a deeply and access orders. As part of this move- rooted dedication to reform their laws and legal systems. This motivates them to ment, an organization called "Fix It for work together on such issues as Equal Parents' Week. Kids" is being formed to unite people Special thanks to George Brito, director of "Corporation of Parents for the in Canada to work together for reform. Equality of Rights in Front of the Child" in Santiago, Chile, and Julian Fitzgerald of the Equal Parenting Platforni in England, whose international contacts were instrumental in gaining support for Equal Parents' Week, as well as preparing The Next arid distributing translations. Equal Parents Week is Patti Diroffmay be contactedat909/.591-3689and Sept 24 Sept 30 pattidiroff@worldnetattnet http: / /members.tripod.com /epweek

Candlelight Vigils for 2001 Wednesday, September 26 830 p.m.

A Way to Adjust the Guideline

Ask a state agency working on childgovernment in a publication entitled Copies of the guideline itself as pub- support guidelines in your state to invite"Child Support Guidelines: The Nextlished by the government are available Don Bieniewicz, CRC's expert on guide-Generation." from CRC for $5.00 for CRC members, lines, to testify. To obtain a copy of the federal pub-and $10.00 for non-members, including Asking Bieniewicz to testify couldlication, phone (202) 401-9383, whichshipping and handling. help convince your state to adopt por-isthe Office of Child Support tions of the only guidelines we know ofEnforcement's Child Support Reference Write to Bieniewicz at 10004 that is based on a child having two par-Center, located at 370 L'Enfant Prom- Fairoak.s Road, Vienna, VA 22181, con- ents. enade SW, Washington, D.C. 20447.tact him via email at This CRC guideline, authored byThere is no charge for the publication,[email protected], or phone 703- Bieniewicz, was published by the federal as long as supplies last. 2.5.5 -0837 (evenings). Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

9 0 BEST COPY AVAILA11.ILE Grandparents Access Counseling in Nebraska Access Denied CRC of Nebraska/Iowa has received a $5,000 access (visitation) grant from the state of Nebraska. This is the third year in a row that the chapter Vice-President Al Gore has received a modest portion of state access grant funds. sponsored his 9th annual Fam- The chapter will use the hinds to augment volunteer efforts to provide ily Re-union Conference at access counseling to parents, other types of counseling, such as anger man- Vanderbilt University in Nash- agement and communication skills, parenting education, and a drop-off and ville, Tennessee, on November pick-up site for children. 19, 2000. Parents who want access counseling must complete a two-page "Chil- The emphasis at the confer- dren and Parents Access Form". ence was on grandparenting, but Access counselors accredited by the Children's Rights Council conduct no one mentioned interference a review of the parent's case history and past relationship with his or her with grandparents access (visita- child. They review any parenting plan, access schedule and financial sup- tion) to their grandchildren un- port orders and history. The fOcus is on the needs of the child and the til CRC President David L. Levy benefits of a child-parent relationship. raised the issue during a break- For accuracy, the access counselor requests all relevant court document. out session. He asked how many This review, which takes one to two hours, leads to a diagnosis of the grandparents in the room had type and cause of access problems that prevent a conflict-free and meaning- problems getting to see their ful relationship between child and parents. grandchildren? About 18 of the The accredited access counselor is not an attorney and will not give legal 125 people in the room raised advice; but will recommend remedies which have proven to be effective, to their hands. Levy recommended improve access (visitation). These include "low adversarial litigation". Low that because of this high num- adversarial litigation is conducted by lawyers with mediation training, who ber, denial of access (visitation) work to keep the conflict to a minimum, said Lyn Huerter. Lyn, with her between grandparents and husband Bill, are CRC co-coordinators of NP_VIA. grandchildren should be talked "Access counselors provide specific written recommendations fOr prob- about more frequently. lems," said Lyn. A CRC of Nebraska/lowa has eight trained access counselors. All were trained by Dick Woods through CRC. Dick Woods of Iowa has developed Mediation, the only comprehensive access counselor training course known in the U.S., Movcaway Help and CRC is the only organization that offers accreditation for access counselors. The accreditation course will be again offered as a pre-CRC confer- Leslee Newman, ID., who ence Institute at the CRC conference all day 'Thursday, May 3, 2000. Con- has been giving free consulta- tact CRC for information. tions on move-away issues to CRC members, is available fOr mediation consultations (at a fee). Leslee, who is a trained me- Gct a 3.9 perccnt CRC Credit Card diator, can be reached at 714- 282- 1515. Her husband Don Get the CRC VISA Credit Gird, and obtain a low 3.9 percent introductor Smith, Ph.D., clinical psycholo- rate, The credit card displays the CRC logo, and CRC receweh a small (..ontri- gist, is available fir child custody bution every time you use the card. CRC receives more if you break up a large evaluations. Don's number is purchase into several small purchases. For an application, contact CRC, or call 714-939-6678. Don and Leslee MBNAat 1-800-523-7666. If you have trouble obtaining approval,. contact CRC; are both in Orange County, Cali- we can't guarantee approval, but we will gladly try. fOrnia, but can handle cases anywhere in the country. Order CRC Book and Make Money!

Order bulk copies (10 or more) of the still popular 1993 We thank Bladcn publication, The Beg Parent is Both Parents, for only $4 a Lithographics in co pt . Resell the copies for the list price of S10 each, and make Gaithersburg, MD a profit for s ou or your organization! Individual comes are for providing printing $10. services to CRC.

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 25 BEST COPY MilkLE 91 More Attention Paid to Kidnapping of Children

Catherine Meyerhabitual residence. This ensures thatincluding the publication of her book, Wages Efforts on the abducting parent cannot profit from"They Are My Children, Too," scores Behalf of All the abduction by choosing one jurisdic-of American parents in a similar plight Abducted au- tion over another, i.e., "forum shop-approached ler. ping", in the hope of reversing previ- Three Congressional hearings, at drun ously custody decisions. which she and other American parents More public at- The Convention also seeks to securetestified, have been held within the past tention is being paidprotection for rights of access. two years. This led to the passage of a Meyer tointernational Sixty-three countries are parties toresolution by Congress in May 2000, call- child abduction inthe Convention. For the Hague Conven-ing fbr the improved implementation of the past few years, but the plight of manytion to work effectively in its dual pur-the International Hague Convention on children goes unheeded. pose of discouraging and returning ab-Child Abduction by several countries, . CRC receives complaints from par-ducted children promptly to the coun- including Austria, Germany and Sweden. ents whose children are being held intry of habitual residence, it must be con- Several days later, Joseph Cooke's Sweden, Germany, Japan, and othersistently interpreted and enforced. story (his abducted children are in a fos- countries that have either not signed the In the past few years there has beenter home in Germany and he has no Hague Convention, or have signed it butgrowing concern that the effectiveness ofaccess to them) hit the front page of The don't enforce it. the Convention is being undermined byWashington Post Top officials imme- the failure of some signatory states todiately reacted. And in June, 2000, Presi- Background fulfill their obligations. Currently, thedent Clinton raised these cases with The Hague Convention on the Civil U.S. State Department says that it has German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder Aspects of International Child Abduc-files on more than 1,100 open interna-during Clinton's official visit to Berlin. tion is a multilateral treaty which seekstional child abduction cases involvingThey agreed to establish a bi-lateral com- to protect children from the harmful ef-U.S. citizens. Congressional investigators mission to examine the systemic prob- fects of international child abduction andestimate that the number of such cases lem and ways in which victim parents can retention by establishing administrative is around 10,000, because many parents have access to their children. and judiciary remedies to bring aboutdo not file. "CRC I ias always been against paren- their "prompt" return to their country CRC's honorary president and wifetal kidnapping of children," said CRC of habitual residence. of the British Ambassador to the U.S.,Board ChairmanJohn L. Bauserman,Jr. The Hague Convention is not con-Catherine Meyer, is a victim parent Her"We want the return of children to the cerned with the merits of a custody case.two sons were illegally retained by theircountry of habitual residence, to enforce Complaints about the custodial parentGerman father in 1994 in defiance ofboth custody and access (visitation). That or the terms of a custody award, aretheir custody agreement. Despite initialis, where the custodial parent has taken matters to be dealt with by the jurisdic-court decisions in her favor and the pleasthe child, that child should also be re- tion of the child's habitual residence.of high-ranking officials, she has beenturned to the country of habitual resi- The paramowtt objective of the Conven- unable to get them back. Worse still, shedence so that access can take place in a tion is to return the child promptly, sohas encountered enormous obstacles tonormal way. that any subsequent welfare issues relat-gaining access to her two sons. CRC favors more shared parenting, ing to the child can be decided in the because indications are that parents who home jurisdiction. Campaign for All Childrenare involved in their children's upbring- Except in unusual circumstances, While continuing her struggle, ing are less likely to kidnapping. "Almost the Convention is based on the assump-Catherine has waged a campaign on be-all parental kidnapping take place in the tion that it is in the child's best interesthalf of all children in a similar plight As context of sole custody adversarial to be returned quickly to its country ofa result of the wide publicity for her case, battles," Bausermim, an attorney, noted.

Donors arc Appreciated CRC thanks everyone who contrib-(Bay Area) United Way campaigns. CRC depends on volunteer help and utes to CRC in the charity drive that takes We also thank those who contribute contributions for its existence. place in all federal government officesto CRC through their United Way in every Fall. CRC is part of Independentsome other part of the country, where If you wish to make your tax-deduct- Charities of America. We also thankwe are not listed, but where employersible contribution directly to CRC, send those who contribute to CRC in themay sometimes allow employees to des-it to CRC, 3001 Street, Suite 401, Wash- Washington, D.C., and San Francisco ignate CRC. ington, D.C. 20002. Page 26 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

92 Contact Other CRC Relinquishing Custody Members by E-mail to Get Health Care Send and receive e-mail from other CRC members around the The practice of parents having to relinquish custody in order to obtain country. mental health care fiar their children has become all too common. Parents are If you are a CRC member, e- unable to get adequate medical care through private insurance, so they turn to mail the following message to the child welfare system fir help. However, they are told that health care can Harry Prillaman, CRC Coordina- only be provided if the child is a ward of the state. The foster parent is then tor for Georgia, who is supervis- eligible to receive the resources and help that is denied to the child's parents. ing this service. He can be reached Once custody has been relinquished, parents are denied access to visit their at [email protected] child and to make important decisions concerning the welfare of the child. Dear Harry. I am a national According to research from Bazelon Center fir Mental Health Law, cus- CRC member who would like to tody relinquishment such as this has been known to happen in at least twenty- join the [email protected] seven states and affects "as many as twenty percent of families of children with distribution list. serious emotional disturbance". There are several reasons why so many par- Thanks, ents are asked to give up custody. Most often it is the inadequacy of states to Your name, mailing address, provide and enfinte health services that brings parents to the child welfare phone number, and e-mail address system in the first place. The Bazelon Center fi- Mental Health Law and die Federation of Fami- Call the CRC national office lies fir Children's Mental Health have written a guide, entitled Staying To- at 202-547-6227 or fax 202 -546- gether: Preventing Custody Relinquishment for Children's Access to Mental 4272 to make sure your national Health Services. This guide recognizes two clear goals toward finding a solu- membership is current. tion to this problem. Goal number one is "to prohibit child welfare agencies from requiring custody relinquishment fir families to get services fir children 2000 Awards with significant mental health needs". Goal number two is "to prevent families from having to turn to die child welfare system for help by expanding access to Entertainer Joe Piscopo high- home-and community-based mental health services and supports through die lighted the 5th annual Awards Din- mental health care system". As disturbing as the practice of custody relinquish- ner sponsored by the New Jersey ment is, the guide recognizes that the solution is not simply to end custody Council for Children's Rights relinquishment. An end to custody relinquishment needs to be combined with (NJCCR) at the Mayfair Farms, expanded and more accessible mental health services for children. November 14, 2000. "The annual dinner serves as a Ways to Keep Children at Home break from our daily turmoil, cel- The guide suggests two important ways that states could possibly expand ebrates our hard-won victories, and their Medicaid coverage. The first is die "Katie Beckett" option. This option honors those people who have allows states to expand Medicaid benefits to individuals who would normally helped us in our struggles," said have to live in an institution in order to receive medical coverage. This option chapter president Eric Purasoon. allows a child with mental health needs to live at Home and still be able to 2000 award recipients were: collect Medicaid benefits. Senators Louis C. Bassano and The second is the home-and community-based waiver. This allows states Anthony R. Bucco, sponsores of to cover the care of individuals through home and community based services, S-1095,theNew Jersey without which the individual would need to be hospitalized. Medicaid would presumption of joint custody normally pay fir the cost of that hospitalization. a State may obtain such a bill; waiver from die HealtliCare Financing Administration. Douglas Hyatt, NJCCR board There are options available to states to try to prevent custody relinquish- member and editor of the ment. No child should be f.orced to leave his or her home because the proper NJCCRnewsletter,The support system has not been set up to help diem. Forcing a special needs child Children's Advocate; into an unfamiliar environment cannot be the best way to deal with his needs. Robert Kowal, past executive In addition, it deprives fit parents of the privilege of raising their children. Vice-President of NJCCR, and Family support is necessary to deal with these difficult circumstances. Attempts leading member of the NCJJR should be made to strengthen families rather than tear them apart. State legis- pro se network; latures should be encouraged to explore alternatives to custody relinquishment CRC President David L. Levy; and strengthen die mental health care system so that families are not forced to Serge Prengel, author of the give up their children in order to help diem. book Still a Dad.

Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 27

9 3 BEST COPYAVAILABLE Shared Parenting in To help CRC of Mass, call .508 -347-anon where die parents had joint cus- Massachusetts .5960 or e-mail [email protected] tody of their five-year-old son, with die A divorced couple will rotate custody Freedman V. Freedman, Mass. App.mother designated as die child's primary of their son under an Appeals CourtCt., No 98-P-1399, 6/27/00, Lawyerscaretaker, although die child subse- ruling that eliminates what the father'sWeekly No. 11-134-00, or page 28quently spent more time in the father's lawyer called the notion of a main par-M.L.W. 2555, July 10, 2000. home. The mother remarried, and planned to move to Georgia. The father ent and a visiting one. _Federal Role in Financial Under die unusual arrangement, then sought either custody, or to be Child Support named as die child's primary caretaker. Ippolita Freedman will have son Alex, Enforcement 7, during die school week kw one year, The trial court denied his motion be- and Roger Freedman will have him on The federal government has no con-cause he had failed to prove that die weekends. The next year, they'll switch.stitutional authority to pursue criminalparties were unable to cooperate in die The rotation will continue as die boycharges against parents who owe finan-joint custody arrangement, as required grows up. cial support but live in another state, diewider die precedent of an earlier case. "Our hope is that this ruling shows aU.S. Court of Appeals fbr the Sixth Cir-However, die Court of Appeals said die trend toward really fOcusing on die needscuit said in a Sept. 26 decision. Theearlier case involved a court exceeding of die children," said lawyer Elizabeth Court of Appeals was considering a caseits judicial authority, since there was no Lewis, who represented Roger Freed-involving die arrest of a father in Cali-threshold requirement in die statute. It man. "Every child has a right to equalfOmia by U.S. marshals, on die basis thatallowed consideration of a possible access to die parent, unless there is some-he violated die federal Child Supportmodification of custody. thing wrong with the parent." Recovery Act of 1994 by failing to pay Scheer v. Zeigler (Scheer), Both parents had asked for sole cus-financial child support to the mother of Ky. Ct. App., No. 1998-CA-002017- tody. The state Probate and Familyhis child, who lived in Michigan. MR, 6/23/00 Court crafted die rotating custody plan, The Court of Appeals said that the and die mother appealed. Child Support Recovery Act was "not a Time Spent With Judge Rudolph Kass, writing for die proper exercise of Congress's power to Noncustodial Parent appeals court, upheld die lower courtregulateinterstatecommerce." An automatic deviation from state ruling, but acknowledged potential prob- Congress's power to regulate interstatechild support guidelines is not warranted lems, if one parent moves. commerce is an inadequate basis for diesolely as a result of die amount of time James DeGiacomo, die mother'sAct, die court said, because the activitythat a child spends with a noncustodial lawyer, said his client is concerned thatcriminalized by die Act "is not commer-parent, die Louisiana Supreme Court die decision will limit her career. cial in nature." The U.S. Supreme Courtdecided March 24. The court found that "It wasn't in die best interest of diealready has warned in a recent casedie noncustodial parent must show that child," DeGiacomo told die Bostonagainst overly elastic interpretations ofdie extra time die child is with him re- Globe. "When a parent is unsettled, thatdie Commerce Clause. The Supremesults in a greater financial burden on him has to have an impact." Court said that even though "die aggre-and a lesser burden on die parent. In Roger Freedman, 49, lives ingate effect of marriage, divorce, andthe case before the Supreme Court, Wessley. Ippoliti Freedman, 30, lives inchildrearing on the national economy isthere was joint legal custody, die mother Brookline, a few minutes away. The boyundoubtedly significant," this does notwas die primary domiciliary parent, and will attend die same school regardless ofmean die Commerce Clause applies."die father had extensive visitation. where he is living. die Appeals Court noted. The trial court granted die father's Note: Steve Carrier, of CRC of Mas- U.S. v. Faasse, U.S. 6th Cir. Ct ofrequest for modification of child sup- sachusetts, who brought this case toApp., No. 98-2337, 9/25/00 port, and reduced die amount by 30 CRC's attention, said "The decision is percent to reflect die 37 percent of die significant, considering that only 6 per- Modification ofJoint time die children spent with him under . cent of children inMassachusetts enjoy Custody die visitation schedule. Shared custody die benefits of shared physical custody." A parent seeking modification of ais more expensive than traditional ar- Carrier said Attorney Elizabethjoint custody award is not required, as arangements, die Supreme Court said, Lewis is a member of CRC, and is also athreshold before he or she may proceed,and courts must ensure that any devia- spokeswoman for CRC of Massachu-to prove an inability by die parents totion from die guidelines will not result setts. "Elizabeth truly believes in diecooperate concerning their child's wel-in die domiciliary parent's inability to motto of CRC The Best Parent is Bothfare, the Kentucky Court of Appealsprovide adequately for die child. The Parents." ruledJune 23. elle case involved a situ-Supreme Court said die lower court

Page 28 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

94 should have considered whether appli- Jones v. Maple (In re Baby Doe), cation of the guidelines in this particularlnd. Ct. App., No. 16A01-0001-JV-35, Fall, 2000 CRC Intern Abraham case would not be in the child's best in-8/30/00 Perez, University of terest or would be inequitable to the California at Santa parties. With exception of the first case, the Barbara, helped Guillot v. Munn, La., No. 99- C2132, above court decisions are summarized CRC write 5 grant 32400. from Family Law Reporter, published by proposals for The Bureau of National Affairs, Inc. funding. Father's Rights in They appear here by permission of the Adoption publisher. A man who brought a paternity suit, Upcoming Event upon finding out that his ex-girlfriend Fatherhood Conference had given birth to their child six months earlier, acted too late to defeat the child's Hertz Car Rental The International Fatherhood adoption, the Indiana Court of Appeals Benefits Conference 2001, sponsored by ruled Aug. 30. The promptness of a pa- NPCL (The National Center fir Stra- ternity claim is measured in terms of the Hertz and CRC are getting to- tegic Non-Profit Planning and Com- child's life, and not by the time at which gether! munity Leadership), will be held in the father became aware of the child's Atlanta, Georgia, May 28-30, 2991, existence, the Court of Appeals said. Get a free upgrade or 5 percent oil at the Sheraton Atlanta Hotel, 1 -800- The father's action watt barred by time your next Meru Card Rental. Call 32.5- 3.53.5. The theme is: The Forma- limits in the state's Putative Father Reg- sour travel agent or tall Hertz in tion of Fatherhood. For conference istry statute, the court said. Under the the U S. at 1-800-65 I-2200. information, contact Charlene Meeks statute, a father who registers with the or Jacqueline Ratley at NI'CL, phone Mention CDP Card# 1218734 (the Putative Father Registry no later than 30 202-822-6725. NI'CL is the largest CRC Code number) to receive national group working to help never- days after his child's birth or the date of your free benefit filing of the adoption petition, whichever married parents, but all parents and occurs last, is entitled to notice of his professionals working with families child's adoption. will gain information and contacts.

FIIVETING EXPOSE REVEALS HOW JUDGES, ATTORNEYS, PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATE LAW & ETHICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL TO IDENTIFY A "PRIMARY PARENT" A FAMILY DIVIDED One Divorced A :Divorced Fa, Father's StOf y er witht:e Child Custody Ind istry Every Fa ther';.: and rtilici'si Nightmare 4gbetzelfteeoft.

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Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 29

95 BEST COPY AVAILABLE National Affiliate Organizations and Chapters

National Affiliate Arizona Kentucky Jim Moore, presider,' Rita A. Jones, president Conrad Greene, coordinator Kevin 0 Brien, coordinator CRC of Southwestern Missouri Bill Clements, treasurer Organizations CRC of Arizona Ann Switngo 619 E. Silsby CRC of Philadelphia P 0 Box 454 CRC: or Kentucky Springfield, MO 65807 - P.O. Box 11413 Co-Mamas Scottsdale, KI 85252-0454 PO Box 74126 phone: 417/889-2121 Philarlelphia, PA 19111 LouiseOxlu and Lynne phone: 480/970-5903 Dayton, KY 41074-0126 entail: phone: 215/844-3440 Ringwirod fax: 480/970-5925 phone: 513/624-7223 [email protected] P.O. Box 231804 email; CRC- Kurt Krusen Encinitas, CA 92023 California Kentucky@egroupacom Nebraska/lowa CRC: of HarrisburgN:apitol Phone: 760/942-4.572 Palricia Gehlen, coordinator Lyn and Wilthun Huerter, Region email: [email protected] CRC of California Maine ccirinlirtators 15 Beaver Road P.O. Box 1638(11 CRC of Maine Kevin Boston, president Cunt, Hill, PA 17011 Mothers Without Custody Sacramento, CA 95816-9081 Jan Brown, presiden CRC of Nebraska plume: 717/763-0673 (MW/00 phone and fax: 916/635-2590 P.O. Box 252 P 0 Box 45387 fax: 717/763 -7183 Jennifer Isthun, coonlinator email: [email protected] Rummy, Maine 04942 Omaha, NE 68145-0387 websire only: Ithp: www/ phone: 207/683.2:515 402/330-3353 (voice rind fax) &lull' Carolina-see North motherswilhoutcastorly.org Colonilo fax: 207/683-5758 call lint email: children@radiksaiel C'irrolina Mark Entrain, coordinator number lint for fax sel-up website: www.litmthriel/onia Parennging Coalition CRC of Colorado email: kissodal@dslellitemet Tenneinee Intenialional, 4715 Ranch Circle NewJerney David Cour.son, coonlinalor Belinda Rollins, president Colorado Springs, (:0 80918- Maryland Ent! Purasson, president CRC: of Tennessee 1025 Conner licui Avenue N.W., 4118 Harvey Walden, coordinator Kew Jersey Council for 212(1 Griffintown Road Suite 615 phone: 719/548-8798 CRC Of Maryland Children's Rights \Virile Bluff, TN 31708-5207 Washington, D.C. 20036 fax: 719/597-2218 417 Pershing Drive INJC( :R) phone and fax: 615/952-2498 phone: 202/530-0849 cocliildrenqtrol.com Silver Spring, MI/20910-4254 P 0 Box 195 entail:[email protected] fax: 202/898/1155 301/588-0262 Old Bridge, NJ 088.57-0195 email: infir@parentingroalirionairg Connecticut website: Nip:// phone: 973/694-9323 Texas wesile: nu-entingroAition.org Nlark Roseman, coordinator wwwthembersiripothcont/ entail and websile: www.lijecrzug 1)i:ilia Bullinglon, coordinator CRC of Connecticut tit(lcrc/ C:RC: of Texas Stepfami ly Association of 48 Sliepanls Knoll Drive New York 18959 N. Dollar Parkway, #723 America (SAA) Hiunden, CT 06:514 Rol) :ml Sandra Snow, chairs Kim lioedecker-Frey, Dallas, TX 75287 Margorie Engel, president plume: 203/288-7827 CRC of Greater Baltimore nominator phone: 214/485-1518 lirrry Kal Jerilyn, Executive fax: 203/281-142 2 West 39111SW-eel (:R(: of New York fax: 214/630-1143 Director [email protected] Baltimore, MI) 21218 231 Main Street, Suite I email: [email protected] 650 J Street, Suite 205 website: www.par,uliselek.com phone :yid fax: 410/889-9404 Vestal, NY 13850 website: Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 email: bahocrtOyahoo.cm phone :mil fax: 607/785-9338 coliummity.d,dlasnews.com/ 402/477-7837 dritri/crtlx 1-800/735-0329 Delaware Mastrachusetts "Illomas Tlirritrui, president Joint membership in SAA and :Punts A. Morning, president Carolyn Briunber, coordinator (311: of New York City Children's Rights Coalition CRC: 335.00 for the first year CRC of Delaware 16 I :nion Street 499 Fl. Washington (affiliate) Join through either SAA or CRC. l' 0 Box 1311 Holislon, MA 01746 #31) Box 12961 Dover, DE 19901 phone: 508/429-5282 New York, NY 10033 Capitol Station International Chapters 302/734-8522 C.BnuitherOwdetray.nel hotline: 212/431-7724 Austin, TX 78711-2961 email: jmorningOthellathuilicalel fax: 212/740-7008 fax: 215/499-8056 CRC of Grrat Britain Sieve Carrier, president email: [email protected] bigredl@fallieraorg limy and Chrisline Coe, Equid District of Columbia CRC of Massachusetts Parenting Party, co- Frank Balmer, coordinator 511 Main Street North CarolinaSouth Carolina Vemuml coonlinalors CRC of the Districl of Columbia P.O. Box 904 Fred Wall, Jr. cram-din:dor call the CRC office Children's Rights Council of the Hillcresl Children's Cenler SIthbridge, MA 01566 509 N. Seventh Street Cniled Kingdom 1325'W.' Street N.W. 3rd floor phone: 508/347-5960 Wilmington, N(: 28401 Virginia 38-40 Gloucester Road \Vashington, n.c. 20009 Fax: 508/347-987(1 910/762-4952 John Vitughim, presiden London, SW7 4Q1: London, plume: 202/232-610(1 Email: CRCMAS,S4Nol.com C11711t0.111411.t70111 CRC of Virginia, Tidewater England fax: 202/483-4560 website: chapter phone: 011-44-20 7589 9003 George Kelly, chaintzur P 0 Box 61245 lax: 011-44-20 7584 4230 Florida Concerned Fathers of DamCarrigui, Director Virginia Beach, VA 23462 [email protected] Kris Kline, cnirdinalor Mithiiitt:)IIINCUS, Inc. Center for Children of phone: 757/249-0037 CRC of Florida P 0 Box 2768 Separation anicl Divorce email: [email protected] CRC unarm 355 Shore Drive Spriligliehl, MA 01101-2768 495(1 Park Road website: children-rights.org Waller Benda Ellerthm, FL 34222 phone: 413/736-7432 Chw-lolle, NC 28209 P.O. Box 583 phonic 813/635-0633 fax: 413/732-3867 704/522-1331 Murray Steinberg, president Max Me:trims, VA 24360 fax: 813/620-9068 CRC of Virginia, Richmond 540/637-3799 email: [email protected] Michigan Ohio chapler email:emariOearthlink.ner Barbara coordinator Margaret Wuwert, coonlinalor 9244 Royal Griutt Drive and David Brian "Damns Georgia CRC of Michigan CRC of Ohio Mechanicsville, VA 23116 4-18-15-903 Harry A. Prillanzuk coonlinalor P 0 Box 653 CRC of Northwest Ohio phone: 804/5.59-709(1 Kamikilazion Set:wry-a-Ku CRC of Georgia Elmore, MI 48829-0653 2745 Sagunore Road fax: 804/559-7072 Tokyo, Japan 156 808 Springharbor Court 517/427-5774 Toledo(, OH 43606 email: [email protected] ',limier 0 11-81 -3-5317-0357 Woclthwk, GA 30188-5509 Phonic: 419/473-8955 phone: 678/643-5924 Minnesota Fax: 419/473-8984 Paul Robinson, president CRC of Sierra Leone fax: 678/643-5923 Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator lituninelfannillarthconi Fathers I :tilled for Equal Rights YoUro Kargho email: [email protected] ow of Minnesota and WOIlleletiCuailion 3505 Covered Bridge lithe 59(15 Chateau Road N.W. Or contact: P 0 Elm 1323 Woodbridge, VA 22192 Ilhnlup Rochester, MN 559(11 Kevin O'Brien Arlington, VA 22210-1323 phone imd fin: 703/897-7845 and Terry Cady, coordinator phone and fax: 507 /289.5745 P 0 Box 88(15 phone: 703/451 -858(1 Esther Kargbo CRC'. Of Illinois (call before faxing) Cinr.aii, OH 452(18 fax: 703/451-9321 7 Natal Abacha Street 905 \Vayrie Avenue email: phone: 513/624-7223 email: palnir@rairaccessairg Freetown, Sierra !noire Deerfield, 1E60015 Bnurkasluthir@dellakinditsrm fax: 513/624-3703 phone: 011-23-2-2222-8682 phone 847/374-0461 email: PACEgroup@thsemet Washington Slate fax 312/322-3553 Missouri website: www.pacegroup.org Jain:Ur:a Filgo email: [email protected] Scott Field, chair CRC of Washington State Chapters CRC of Fasten' Missouri Oregon 1(1(111 33rd Avenue, S.E., Apt. A Indiana P.O. Box 220661 Roy Nolan, cnirdinaior Everett, WA 98208 Alaska contact CRC office Kirkwod, MO 63122 CRC of Oregon phone: 425/379-9666 Gary Maxwell, coordinator 314/963-4668 P 0 Box 209.5 entail: [email protected] CRC of Alaska Cuandparent Rights in New all. phones Scott 314/838-7092 Portland, OR 97208 P.O. Box 92083 Strength Mark Holdenried 314/772- phone: 503/232-8630 West Virginia Anchorage, AK 99509-2083 Kay and Ray Berryhill, co- 1169 fax: 503/233-9390 Ginger Ilionthson, phone: 907/277-3980 director-pi email: CRC of West Virginia fax: 907/276-3980 0689 I:It 5 measiernmo@bigforthcom Pennsylvania 1(19 North Arthur Drive email: gmaxwell@alaskiand Corunna, IN 46730 website: Michael Nieland, M.D. presidelil Charleston, WV 25312 plunie: 219/281-2384 homelown.aol.com (311: or Pittsburgh phone: 304/744-6534 crceasternnui/myhomepage/ 14(1(1 Inverness Avenue fax: 304/744-8657 Iowa- See Nebrzaka/lowa Pittsburgh, PA 15217 email: WVAPTP@aolcont 412/621-0222 Winn/rutin (-mind CRC office Page 30 Speak Out For ChildrenFall 2000/Winter 2001

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Eric Lamont Aiken,Sr. Anthony Cox Raymond Hart Wilma ohen Lewis Charles Norwood David Smith ban Albino Bart Crabtree S Riley_Hart Elizabeth Lewis Keith Nosich Jeffrey Smith Darrell Alford Thomas Creigh Tom Hartman Ronald Life Kevin O'Brien Kenneth Solway Terry Allen Timothy Currey M Joseph Harvey Gina Linkenheld Hugh O'Donnell Brenda Soners Kent & Robin Allen Michael Disgrace Fred Hayward Leonard Lipshultz Richard O'Neil Scott Spratt Launs Angell Robert Dave Reggie Heisler David Litowitz Allen Ostrowski Susan Starks Ari Arshadnia Ann Davis chistik Herndon Robert Lockhart V Al Pakalnis Vivian Stoutimore Aaron Barley David Davis Stun Hewlett Samuel Lou Robert Pasnak Paul Stroub Edward Bartlett Gregory DeVeau KimAlichell Hinkley Jeff Lynett Peter Paulino H Lee Sullivan Edward Barton Dudley Douglas Charles Hoeft Michael Mace William Paull David Tait Francis Baumli Larry [firmer Don Hubin Derek Dackey Ed Pawlick Chris Thompson David Baz tun dytu.s Be' Hyde Keith Madsen Lewis Pearson Freda Thorne Steven Becker times Edwards William Hynes Karen Malner Richard Pederson Joanne Thrasher David Bell HenElbert Stewart Iden Dan Maloney Don Peery Bob Tierney Walter Benda Alfred Ellis Arthur Ignatiadis Scott Mandell Linae Peters Perdida Timm David B/ennett Lynn Elzey. Mark Inieta Mike Marcus Jim Pierobon Limns Tokioka Kevin Bemier Jerry Emenck Kathleen Isham Gary Markoff Mitchell Piorkowski Michael Tracy Dick Bittennan Steven Engen Amyao Kathryn Marsh Terry Pitts Gayle. Trim.- Keith Blackson 2.3ori Erickson CasnmirJarski Brad Martin James Piwolf sr. Kennington Melinda Blau Lawrence Erickson Dennis Johnson Michael Maye Arthur Popp Marcis Turner, Sr. Jason/Mary Bodi/ Allison Estin Thomas Johnson Larry McCurdy Edward Qstesada tein Valentine rlysia Bryan Fajardo Kelly Jones Ginger McDaniel Kenneth Qui rry Vara Koss Boedecker-Frey LaShablua Felder Robert Joslyn Dan McLaughlin Dana & Sharon Ramse aureen Vernon Jerry Bolnick Mark Fenaroli Colleen Ka an Keith Mcleod Nora Renzulli David Warner Luther Bond Shanti Fenski Richard Kazimer Danya McMurtrey John Richards Honda Wakefield Tern Boseman-Tomp Karl Finnbach John & Carol Keane Brace Melton Anne Risser-Hicks Harvey Walden Stephen Bray Donald Forshmd Peter Kearney Kevin Mick athryn Rogers Leonard Walden Will Brown Glenn/Terry Foster Jeffrey keene Cliff Middleton Jacob Rognisky limes/Crystal Walker Ian Brown Bryan Fowler ff Keil Richard Mikesell Scott Roleson Donald Webb arolyynn Brumber Val Franz Frederick & Melissa Russ Miller Susan Rosebro Marc Weiler, PhD John Brunson Jolian Fraser Kerr Wendy Mitchell Michael Rosenblatt Jones Welenofsky Mary Bullock Michael Friedman Paul Kirchmeier Daniel Mobit Genny Ross William Wells Larry Cadenhead Norm Fuhnneiste Neal Klo_pping Shannon Moore john Rude Clarence Westbrook Thomas Chancey Julian Gellman Deanna Knapp Randy Morkved Duane Ruff Jack Wiegand Marvin Chapman Steven Gibbs ShTawn Knudsen Edgar Mosquera Trina Rumple Thomas Wiehl Stephen Charette Robert Gidding ory Kort Abdul Moten Zan & Lisa Saavedra Smart Wiley Leo Chen E Nyman Giles Michael Krupp Fredrick Mueller ('re or Schaaf Ronald Wilinski Childrens Law Center George Goodrich Kurt Krusen Lori Muller William Rod Williams Kathy Clark Michael Gordon Steven Kyle Patricia Murphy Schnellbaecher Daniel Williams Kevin Clayton Joseph Gottesman Patrick Lacy Don Nadeau Neil Schrefller Sandra Williams Bill Clemens Kevin Graft Kevin Laddison Kenneth Naumann John Schulte Stacey Woodson Roberta Anne Coan Sorna/Richard Graham Tom Lave Charles Nelson Charles Sheppard Barbara Younger Robert Conklin Alan Greenberg Vicki LanSky Paul Nester Mary Shirland-Devore TimothyZimtherlin Dan Cook Karolee gregerson Chris Larson Steven Newell Stacy LeBow Siegel, Andrea/Joe Zink Jeffrey Cooper Karolee_cregerson Susan leary Karen Newhall esq. ooilCornem Arnold Harffy Daniel Lee Michael Nieland Victor Simmons ilvain Coudoux Shan Harris ManFred Lehnhoff Brenda/Troy Nieman Allen Sinsheimer Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 31 BEST COPYAVAILABLE 97 A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. Gil-xtetoRiGM's Cog ® Permit #881

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IN THIS ISSUE: '--fie Myth ofle 7a.cling-4 Emily CRC View 4 by E.J. Dionne Jr. Shared Parenting Washington Post columnist Conference Highlights 5 Reprinted with permission from the Washington Post, Tuesday, May 22, 2001 Call Us Stepfamilies, not Blended Families 5 Among households with children, accord- E. J. Dionne, Jr. says Elements of Non-Profit ing to the new Census Bureau figures, 71.8% Fundraising 6 Census Bureau finds 70 are led by married couples. That's down from Percent of Families with 76.1% a decade ago, and 93% in 1960. So, yes, Welfare Reform 7 Children are Headed by the two-parent family has had its problems in British Embassy Benefit the past 40 years. But if a household includes a Couple Rather than by Reception for CRC 8 children, the odds are nearly 3 to 1 that it will a Single Parent Conference Awards 9 be led by a couple rather than a single parent. And the Census Bureau's Current Population Book Nook 10 Survey offers evidence that the decline of the two- Conference Snapshots 12 You would think from reading the headlines parent family stopped in the mid-1990s. That is big, that the mom-and-dad-and-kids family is in a state Books, Videos, underreported-and heartening-news, especially if of total collapse in America. Those headlines are Buttons 13-20 it is confirmed in the coming years. based on accurate reporting of certain data from Addt'l Findings that Between 1990 and 1996, there was a continu- the 2000 Census. ing decline in the proportion of households with Overnights by Infants with But the headlines are wrong. The two-parent Other Parent Are Fine . 21 family is still the norm in America. Continued on page 3 Federal Campaign 22 j Audio Cassette Order Form 24 Summer 2001 CRC College Student Interns r)Equal Parents' Week25 Forgive Their Debts 26 LOBush Issues Nat'l Child's Day Proclamation 27

Bills in Congress 28 Family Facts 29 National Affiliate 7--:" Organizations and Chapters 30 (1 to r) Eleanor Zandstein, Susanne Bielaski, Natalia Swalnick,Jessica Brooks, Samantha Shapiro, Katherine Potter, Contributors 31 Kelli Lydon, Ron Varga. Intern Patricia Lopez is seated at right. 99 BEST COPY AVAILABLE CRC is a member of

'Speak Out for Children" is published by the Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. Levy. Contributors to this issue: Julie Maggiacomo, Al Ellis, Paul Robinson, Ken Skilling, and college student interns Susanne Bielaski, Columbus School of Law at Catholic University; Jessica Brooks, Washington University in St. Louis, Patrica Lopez, University of California at Davis; Kelli Lydon, St. Mary's College; Katherine Potter, University of New Hampshire; Samantha Shapiro, University of Central Florida; Natalia Swalnick, Syracuse University; Ron Varga, Bethany College; Eleanor Zandstein, University of Connecticut, who is an Israeli. Layout by Sheila Holzberger. Children's Charities 'it he CRC of America

The Children's Rights Council step-parents, and others who are Material in this newsletter authored (CRC) is an international, non-profit IRS part of the family fabric, workingby CRC may be reprinted without per- 501(c) (3) children's rights organization, as a team. mission, provided the source ("Re- based in Washington, D.C. CRC envisions a society whereprinted from the Children's Rights Mission laws, attitudes, and public opinonCouncil newsletter 'Speak Out for Chil- The Children's Rights Council affirm that for children, "The Bestdren,' Summer 2001") is given. For non- (CRC) is an international non- Parent is Both Parents." CRC material, obtain permission from profit organization committed to the copyright owner. For further infor- the loving, nurturing, protecting Formed in 1985 by concerned par-mation about CRC membership, publi- and education of children through ents who had more than 40 years collec-cations, cassettes, catalog, and services, both parents and extended family. tive experience in custody reform andwrite: CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite CRC is dedicated to helpingearly childhood education, CRC has401, Washington, D.C. 20002; phone children by promoting familychapters in 32 states and four national202/547-6227 (4272), fax 202/546-4272, formation, shared parenting, affiliate organizations: Mothers Withoutor email [email protected]. CRC has two mediation, parent education, andCustody (MW/OC), The Stepfamilywebsites: www.gocrc.com (our main mitigating the effects of divorceAssociation of America (SAA) ,CRC site) and info4parents.com (for and relationship breakups ofCOMAMAS, and Parenting Coalition expanded parenting information). Speak children and parents. International, Inc. Out for Children is published four times Vision Prominent professionals in the fieldsa year and is sent free to members. Li- CRC's vision is a society whereof religion, law, social work, psychology, brary Rate: $20. a year. Send letters, both parents play a significantchild care, education, business, and gov-comments and articles for publication to parenting role in their children'sernment comprise our Family AdvisoryEditor, CRC. lives. Children need grandparents,Board.

OFFICERS AND BOARD NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS: ADVISORS Larry Gaughan, Professional MEMBERS Gerald A. Boarman, Ed. D., Rabbi Mendel Abrams, D.Min. Director David L. Levy, Esq. President Academic Education, Former President, Board of Rabbis Family Mediation of Greater John L. Bauserman, Jr., Chairman Maryland and North Carolina of Greater Washington, DC Washington, D.C. Samuel A. Brunelli, CEO Judge Eugene N. Hamilton (ret'd), Eloise Anderson Jonathan M. Goodson, President Ingrid Bough-Bell the Judiciary, The Claremont Institute Mark Goodson Productions John L. Bauserman, Sr. Washington, D.C. Sacramento, California Los Angeles, California Teresa L. Kaiser, J.D. Judge Richard A. Waldron (ret'd) Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., David Birney, Actor Hon. Bob Graham Lee Yarborough Parenting Education, Santa Monica, California U.S. Senator (D-FL) Salt Lake City, Utah Hon. Sherwood Boehlert Jennifer Isham, President HONORARY PRESIDENT Jayne A. Major, Ph.D., U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Mothers Without Custody (MW/ Catherine Meyer, author, Breakthrough Parenting, Jim Cook, President OC) wife of the British Los Angeles Joint Custody Association Crystal Lake, Illinois Ambassador to the U.S. Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author, Los Angeles, California Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. Tulsa, OK "Dear Abby" Vice-President, California Dispute GENERAL COUNSEL Resolution Institute, Corte Madera Michael L Oddenino Wes Unseld, VP Washington (Abigail Van Buren) Arcadia, California Wizards, Member, NBA Hall of Los Angeles, California Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. Fame, Parenting Education, Karen DeCrow Author, Psychiauist DIR. OF CHILD ACCESS Washington, D.C. Former President of N.O.W. Scottsdale, Arizona SERVICES Audrey Wise, Ed. D., MA., Jamesville, New York Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Alfred Ellis Family Counselor/Mediator, Elliott H. Diamond Deephaven, Minnesota New York City Co-Founder, CRC James Levine, The Fatherhood OFFICE MANAGER Reston, Virginia Project Julie Maggiacomo EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Phyllis Diller, Comedienne The Family and Work Institute John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Los Angeles, California New York, New York CHILD SPOKESPERSON: D. Richard Kuhn Hadassah Luther, age 13 Margorie Engel, Ph.D., President Hon. Debbie Stabenow U.S. Senator(D-M1) FAMILY ADVISORY BOARD Stepfamily Association of America GRANDPARENT Chairman, Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author Hon. Fred Thompson SPOKESPERSONS: Clifton Alan Clark, Sr. former Member of the Board of U.S. Senator (R-TN) Ernie Ashworth, Member, Grand former CRC Director of Directors, New York City N.O.W. Ole Opry, and Bettye Ashworth Development Leucadia, California Page 2 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer 2001

? L DIA Fading Family In 1970, the proportion droppedthe family." My mother-in-law, one of to 38.8% the most family-oriented people I know, Continued from page 1 In 1980, it was down to 30.8% lives in an apartment upstairs from one In 1990, it was 25.6%. of her sons. Yet the word "household" children headed by couples. But there In 2000, it was 23.5%. would be counted against the family, has been no decline sincethen. In fact, The much repeated line, entirelybecause technically, she lives alone. between 1999 and 2000, there was atrue, is that for the first time, married- None of this should diminish our modest, though perhaps statistically in-couples-with-kids families represent lessconcern for the difficulties faced by chil- significant, increase in the proportion ofthan a quarter of all American House-dren in single-parent households. You households with children headed by two holds. don't have to be a conservative to be- parents. But notice a few things about theselieve that on the whole, two parents are "When you look at just two pointsnumbers. First, the married-couples-far better than one. As Jonathan Rauch in time," says Jason Fields, a family de-with-kids homes did not constitute aargues in the current issue of National mographer in the Census Bureau's majority of households even in 1960, theJournal, "children raised in single par- population division, referring to 1990age of "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Fathersent homes are at greater risk of poverty, and 2000, "you miss the fact that theknows Best." That's because kids growschool dropout, delinquency, teen preg- trends have leveled off in the late 1990s. up and move out. Our grandparents, ifnancy and adult joblessness." We can The increase in single-mother familiesthey lived long enough, knew what it feltdebate how to help those kids, but we has really leveled off. Divorce has reallylike to be "empty-nesters." shouldn't let ideology blind us to their leveled off." Second, the big declines in the pro- problems. How does this square with whatportion of households made up of mar- But it would also be wrong if ideol- you've been reading and hearing?ried couples with kids had already oc- ogy led us to exaggerate the problem with Among the typical headlines that turn upcurred by 1990. The decline in the pastthe family in America. If the family has in a Web search of newspapers andten years is quite modest. begun to come back together, at least a broadcasts: "Is the Traditional Ameri- little bit we need to figure out why, and can Family Heading towards Extinc- People Live Longer how to nurture the forces making it hap- tion?" and a cover line on Newsweek Many Households Don't pen. read "Why the Traditional Family is Have Children It makes better copy and probably Fading Fast." boosts talk-show ratings to say that the Most of these stories focus on the Third, part of the decline in mom- two-parent family is going the way of the decline in the proportion of all house-and-dad-and-kids households as a pro-Oldsmobile. The happier but more pro- holds that consist of two parents withportion of the whole has to do with thesaic truth is that while the family does children. Here are the numbers: fact that people are living longer. Thereface large new challenges, most Ameri- In 1960, 45% of Americanare not a lot of people over 65 whose cans still believe that kids need two par- households consisted of marriedkids still live with them. This fact of life ents. And most of them still try hard to couples with kids. has nothing to do with the "decline ofbehave as they believe. Behavior of Real-Life Dennis the Menace was not Tolerated from The Washington Post, June 1, 2001

Ketcham's first son, who was talented atdismantled his bedroom, down to the Ketcham Father getting in trouble often with his evermattress, springs and curtain rods. (pictured here) present slingshot. "Mischief just seemedDennis's frustrated mother declared her son a "menace" and a cartoon was and Son Never to follow wherever Dennis appears, but it is the product of good intentions, mis-inspired. Close After directed helpfulness, good hearted gen- The behavior of the real-life Den- Parents Sent Sonerosity and, possibly, an overactive thy- nis was not tolerated, and the Ketchams to Boarding roid," Mr. Ketcham wrote in his 1990sent him off to a boarding school. The School autobiography, "The Merchant of Den-son and father were never close again. nis the Menace". "Dennis has been out of my life for In real life, however, Mr. Ketchama number of years", Mr. Ketcham said was estranged from the son on whomawhile ago. "it's regrettable- there's no Hank Ketcham, 81, who first drew "Dennis the Menace" fifty years agothe cartoon was based. On an autumncommunication. it's just one of those died May 31 at his home in Califor-day in 1950, while Ketcham was work- things..." nia. Dennis was modeled aftering on a drawing, his young son Dennis

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 3 101 O 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 SRC ,yep 0 0 0 0 4 Delad4 F. D. 0 0 0 0 Pteadeat, eRe 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 June 28, 2001 forcing or honoring their visitationsus Bureau first reported by CRC in0 0 rights." Some of these parents walk-awaythe Children's Rights Council news-0 0 0 0 The Honorable Wally Herger from their children, but as Sheehy stated, letter, "Speak Out for Children," Vol.0 0 Chairman, Human Resourcesmany are deadbolted out. Many di-12, No. 4, Fall 1997/Winter 1998 is-0 0 0 0 Subcommittee vorced mothers are deadbolted out, assue, available from CRC; later cited0 0 House Ways and Means well. in the Indiana Law Journal, Spring0 0 0 0 Committee CRC believes that much of this dis-1998, Vol. 73, No. 2, by Margaret0 0 Washington, D.C. 20515 connect between children and previouslyBrinig and F. Buckley, law professors0 0 0 0 involved married parents occurs withinat George Mason University, Fairfax,0 0 Hearing on Child Support and2 to 3 years after the divorce, justas manyVirginia. 0 0 0 0 Fatherhood Proposals never-married parents disconnect from Shared parenting (joint physical0 0 Statement from David L. Levy, each other a few years after the birth ofcustody) is defined by researchers as0 0 0 0 J.D., President, CRC the child. at least 1/3 of the time spent between0 0 on behalf of the Children's Rights Remedy: An understanding of whata child and a parent on a year round0 0 0 0 Council "deadbolted dads" (and moms) means,basis. The knowledge that parents will0 0 coupled with an expansion of federalhave to continue to be involved with0 0 O Our Children's Rights Council hasfunds for mediation, counseling andeach other for the sake of the child is0 O been involved in proposals toother low-cost programs to promote ac-apparently the inducement that en-0 0 0 O strengthen families since 1985. Ourcess of children to their non-custodialables some parents to avoid divorce0 O proposals have led to legislative reformparents. in the years following the liberal0 0 0 O (including the first ever block grants to $10 million a year was provided inawarding of shared parenting in their0 O the states to promote child access/visi- the 1996 Welfare Reform Act for access/state. 0 o 0 O tation to non-custodial parents), andvisitation programs, and because these One of the first acts of President0 0 greater awareness, through 13 CRC activities have operated for the past fourBush when he became governor of0 0 0 O conferences, evaluation of data, andyears, a total of $40 million has beenTexas was to sign a presumptive joint0 O reports on why, for children, generally,spent in the states for these access pro-custody law on June 16, 1995 (see Vol.0 0 O "The Best Parent is Both Parents."grams. Each state receives about10, No. 3 of "Speak Out for Chil-0 O Our chapters in 32 states, Washing-$185,000 a year, the largest federal pro-dren.") 0 ° 0 O ton, D.C., Europe, Asia and Africa,gram to date to encourage contact be- One of the remedies to help re-0 O have also been the catalyst for improve-tween children and non-custodial par-duce the number of divorces and to0 0 d ments in children's lives. ents. increase fmancial child support com-0 In announcing the hearing, Chair- And don't forget that there are nearlypliance: 0 0 O man Herger, you said that "We also3 million non-custodial mothers, many Increase contact between children0 0 will learn more about current propos-of whom (like many dads) areand their non-custodial moms and0 ° 0 O als to enhance the role of fathers indeadbolted out of their children's lives,dads. Federal government data has0 O their children's lives." unable to make phone or personal con-shown a correlation between financial0 0 0 O The Children's Rights Council sug-tact, access (visitation) interfered with orand emotional child support. 0 gests the following: denied, the custodial parent moves far 3) A recognition that "Safe Ha-0 O 0 O 1) A recognition that just as thereaway with the child, a child is given deni-ven" Child Access Centers are help-0 O are "deadbroke dads," there are alsograting messages by one parent againsting children and families. 0 0 O "deadbolted dads," a term coined bythe other parent, etc. When parents appear before a0 0 noted author Gail Sheehy in a New 2) A recognition that the states withjudge, they sometimes disagree as to0 0 O York Times article June 21,1998. the highest amount of shared parentingwhether access (visitation) has taken0 O "The newer reality isthe(including Montana, Kansas and Con-place or not. So the judge will order0 0 0 O Deadbolted Dad locked out of hisnecticut) subsequently had the lowestthe transfer at a "Safe Haven" if one0 O children's hearts after divorce...," saiddivorce rate. See data from the National 0 0 0 Sheehy, with "little attention paid to en-Center for Health Statistics and the Cen- Continued on page 6 o O 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 000000000000000000000 Page 4 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 &Tarred Parentfing o ft Makes Sense Theme for CRC's 13th National Conference May 4-6, 2001

Child and family advocates, research-Parenting After Divorce, Support Net-provided by Ernie Ashworth, member ers, writers, teachers, lawyers, judges andworks for Children and Families, Accessof the Grand Ole Opry, and Hadassah other individuals from more than 30Transfer Centers for Children, ResearchLuther, age 13, CRC's first ever child states, Great Britain, Canada, BermudaDevelopments, and New Policies andspokesperson. and Iceland, attended CRC's 13th na-Initiatives. Ernie sang his 1966 Number 1 Coun- tional conference May 3-6, 2001, at the Audiotapes were made of all the ses-try Hit, "Talk Back Trembling Lips" and Holiday Inn, Bethesda, Maryland. sions. See the list of audiotapes later inHadassah sang the new CRC song, More than half the people had at-this issue. If you couldn't attend the con-"Hear the Cries of the Children." tended past conferences, so it was a kindference, audiotapes are a area a good way CRC thanks Mark Roseman, confer- of a friendly "reunion time" for them, to find out about various topics. Even ifence coordinator; Barbara Steinberg, and an opportunity to meet new peopleyou attended the conferences, tapes can Ph.D., speaker faculty coordinator; Cliff working on family issues. Featuredrefresh your memory of importantClark, conference liaison, and all the themes of the 3 day conference includedpoints. people who assisted in carrying out this Parental Alienation of Children, Entertainment at the conference wasconference.

Same Conference Preserntatiams (More presentations will appear in the next issue of this newsletter). Call Us Stepfamilies, not Blended Families by Margorie Engel, Ph.D. President, Stepfamily Association of America

r and the professionals who work with Children actively balk at inferences Margorie Engel them. It is a catchy media phrase thatthat the stepfamily is to he considered says Stepfamiliesdoes not describe either a family rela-their new family eligible to demand their tionship or what happens when at least full attention and loyalty. They know they do not Blend, one partner to a marriage brings childrenhave divided loyalties. Consider the con- They 'Combine'from a prior relationship (marriage fusion when both parents remarry and the or 'Fold Gently' ended by death or choice of an unwed child is expected to be a full-time mem- parent). ber of TWO "blended" families. Stepfamilies do not "blend." If one Parents must accept the reality that As a general rule, the term stepfamilyis determined to use a cooking phrase, their children have lots of "parents" now is preferred because it is consistent withtry "combine" or "fold gently." Childrenand the nurturing no longer comes from the naming of all other family types. Allin stepfamilies do not lose their individu-a traditional family structure, instead of other family types are defined by theality or their connection and active at-trying to blend everyone. parent-child relationship (e.g. biological, tachment to the parent who is not part It seems far better to help all indi- foster, adoptive, single parent). of the remarriage of mother or father.viduals to understand the nature of the Because the choice of stepfamilyA stepfamily does not recreate a firstextended and expanded familywith vari- (and any step attribution) is seen by some family (i.e. blend into something entirelyous segments having permeable bound- as negative (the wicked stepmothernew with all prior connections severedaries. It is not helpful to anyone in a treated poorly as a stepchild, etc.), SAAand the former existence obliterated)stepfamily to pretend that they are and stepfamilies hope that, through edu- and therapists have learned (and re-blended. The concept itself precludes cation, the term stepfamily will acquiresearch confirms) that when stepfamiliesworking together with the expanded fam- a positive, or at the very least, a neutralexpect to "blend," they are typicallyily members, and it is by working to- connotation. doomed to failure, because this is angether that we create successful Referring to stepfamilies as blendedunreal expectation. stepfamilies. families is troublesome to stepfamilies Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 5 103 'LPG TG[P] Three Frequently Forgotten but Necessary Elements of Non-Profit Fundraising (but only if you want to be a success!) by Kevin Gallagher, former Director of Development, the Heritage Foundation, who is now assisting CRC in Development.

worlds. Logically, this mentality carries 2) You need to treat Gallagher over into their philanthropic interests, as donors, or possible Proposes Ways well. donors, with respect. To get their support, you have to to Raise Funds market yourself, time and time again, as Without respect, even if they be- an organization with a product or ser-lieve in your cause, they will find an- vice that they will delight in. It meansother organization that is doing similar that you must educate them. You mustwork and fund it. They are not walking take them from knowledge of a goodcheckbooks, but are partners in a com- 1) The number one cause to believe in this good cause. With-mon mission. Clearly this leads to the motivation for giving is a out question this is a time-consumingthird point, which says relationships belief in the cause. work. You must be on-board for thematter. long-haul. (It is certainly a big help when You have to make sure that your the organization officers/developers are 3) Relationships matter. hoped for donor, whether a foundation,secondarily fundraisers and first and a corporation, or individual is on-boardforemost convinced believers in the I don't have a checklist of 10 things with who you are and what you do ororganization's cause!) to do each day to build donor relations, provide. You cannot assume that they You must have a good cause, be pro-for it is more of an attitude. The two already know this. They only know what ductive in bringing about that cause, andwords that do come to mind are friend- you tell them. Your accomplishmentsyou must communicate that productiv-ship and communication. Friendships and accolades are worthless if you don'tity to your donors and possible donors.are hard work because they demand let each donor, or possible donor, know And watch the fine line between the pre-communication. Developing relation- of them. You must prudently prove that sumptuousness that tells them you areships with donors is hard work as well, your organization is doing good work,doing it all for the false humility thatfor they are those new friends with which that it is worthy of their funding. Justcauses you to say nothing about yourwe need to communicate. because they are known to be of means, accomplishments. Possible donors are Reflection shows that these two does not mean that they will fund you, intelligent and can see right through us.words should bring about a wealth of even if you are a good cause. The very Remember the definition of humility isinformation, particularly when studies fact that they are of substantial "means""the truth before God." show that as high as 80% of annual dol- typically means that they make respon- lar increases for an organization come sible and wise decisions in their business from previous donors.

Extended Overnights Some children are seeing their par-insulates the church from direct fund- ents for the first time because of these Continued from page 4 ing by the government, but the church sites. Even if CRC does not have a granthelps to deliver the family services. to manage a particular site, we do notSome sites are developing parent edu- exists, or possibly at a police station if charge the parents. We do not believecation components. one does not exist. CRC operates 14 a parent should have to pay to see his or Remedy: Again, expand the access/ "Safe Haven" Child transfer Centers in her child. A surprising 40 percent ofvisitation block grants to the states to $40 6 states and Washington, D.C. They parents who use these sites are women,million a year; also provide funds in the are located in church day care centers. and about 40 percent are never-married"Fatherhood" bills to provide services At the sites, parents peacefully transfer parents. The churches often provide thesuch as these. their children from one parent to an- monitors, but any grant is supervised by Thank you for the opportunity to other for the weekend. CRC. Supervision of the grant by CRCpresent testimony. Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer 2001 103 icperTIff©[73sEnc-G. PcrsosMaffdono Welfare Reform by Ron Haskins (conference presenter), Isabel Sawhill, and Kent Weaver

black child poverty. In addition, after Although the 1996 welfare reform Haskins: increasing for decades, nonmarital birthslegislation has produced a number of Welfare Reform have leveled off; and teen births havepositive outcomes, there are serious is- has Led to Moredeclined significantly since the early sues facing the 107th Congress as it pre- Jobs and Less 1990s. Although the evidence of thepares to reauthorize the legislation by law's impact on children is sparse, mostOctober 1, 2002. This policy brief dis- Family Poverty researchers conclude that for young chil-cusses 13 important issues associated dren, the results are either neutral orwith the legislation and the controversy slightly positive in areas such as school surrounding each of them. The issues Welfare Reform, behavior and school performance. Someinclude: funding of the Temporary As- An Overview of Effects of the good news must be attributed to asistance to Needy Families (TANF) pro- to Date strong economy. gram, and whether states will retain the Moreover, the research shows that level of funding and flexibility in program Executive Summary there are problems associated with wel-design and operation they currently en- The 1996 welfare law produced nu-fare reform. For example, some unem-joy; the growing concern that some fami- merous, wide-ranging changes in stateployed families are financially worse offlies are worse off as a result of sanctions policies and practices. Greater empha-and some families who are eligible for or time limits, because they failed to find sis is now being given to job placementMedicaid and food stamps are losingor retain jobs after leaving welfare; and in welfare offices in most states. Employ-those benefits when they leave welfare the concern that too many children are ment by single mothers, a group whichrolls. These and other problems meritbeing reared by single mothers. Also at in the past has been the least likely tocareful attention and possibly action byissue for the new Congress is whether work and the most likely to be on wel-the 107th Congress during the upcom- there is enough money for child care, if fare, is on the rise. Increased employ-ing reauthorization debate. more assistance should be provided to ment has led to higher earnings and de- Welfare Reform working poor families, and whether clining welfare payments to poor and Reauthorization: more should be done to help mothers low-income families. qualify for better jobs. Similarly, starting in 1994, there have An Overview For more information, contact been substantial declines in overall child of Problems and Issues Haskins at the Brookings Institute, poverty and the largest declines ever in Executive Summary Washington, D.C. Own Your Own Emile Ashwanth CCD What beautiful music! Order the CD "Ernie Ashworth and Friends Sing SbWOIA and Fiaen& Ernie Out for CRC," and if you are not completely satisfied, we will refund your ArN .174 money. Spetid Gm, The CD's are only $12 each, including S/H. Order one for your friends and relatives. They make a delightful gift! Indhonl, & Bettye Ilse. own we% Copies of the CD may be ordered online at www.gocrc.com, or by writing to the national CRC office at 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, - 1 'N D.C. 20002. Bulk orders of 6 or more CD's are $10 per CD, including S/H. .(4 .0''' )?, 1.721, T For more information about the CD, contact Keith Bradford, owner of a 096 S\ KMA Records, 256 East Old Hickory Kitty Wells Blvd, Madison, TN 37115, c coe phone (615) 612-3899, or www.KMArecords.com Additional information may also be obtained from David Courson, coordinator, CRC of Tennessee, at www.TNcrc.com, or email to

Heinsi Are hitt [email protected] Sin( Out For 11)e Cbilat'dj)'s.,11ip.Ibts.,Coilei)cii Would you like to help sponsor a Grand Ole Opry country music bus tour that will visit your city? The "bus" will include Grand Ole Opry member Ernie Ashworth, 13-year-old child singer Hadassah Luther and other rising country stars. Contact CRC for information.

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 7 104 Embasoyenefit Reception or CC

The British Ambassador to the U.S. Sir Christopher Meyer, and his wife, Willee Lewis, Catherine Meyer, Catherine Meyer, sponsored a benefit David L. Levy (1 to r) at British reception for CRC at the British Em- Embassy Reception for CRC bassy Residence and Gardens the evening of May 3. Attendees strolled in the lovely Embassy Residence Gardens and mingled in the stately Man- Meyer sion rooms. "It was a very diverse and Lady audience and a wonderful oppor- BritishAmbassador Council tunity for CRC. It showed that The 'ohts and theChildren's company people from many backgrounds of your ouncif the, pleasure RightsC have a common interest in some of request theChildren's the important issues affecting chil- tobenefit 2001 at aROeption rd May, dren," said CRC Board Chairman onThursday, 8 o'Jock, John L. Bauserman, Jr. 6- 1011P. "CRC thanks the Ambassador Byenclosed card at 1-.)oar and Lady Meyer, and Mrs. Willee Guest List s0W idente Compound Lewis, a friend of Lady Meyer's, for Ajob Avesta `4). the Embassy as r avaitaide in this event," said CRC President David 3100 9"saduse Parking 1 L. Levy. The Ambassador, Lady T?/.01-ts 90:Bwiliss14as:i_to, '/d re ot,,vcd- "ire 2Cights (1, Meyer, Lewis, and Levy, all spoke at now in its16th Council' Ali ca year. C3ZC is an international. the reception. works has chapters Anzify. to ensure in 32states non-profit 2fiwerts If parents that chihfren 7Vashingtonchihfrens Hadassah Luther sang "Hear the in day are separated; have organization care centers, access to .C, Ewa^ weekeemendednd: gy where divorced; their Asia Cries of the Children." parental' court-orr*r. children or two parents and kidnapping CRC oftirs are and their wwwgocrc.com of chihfren. transfirred CXc- About 200 people attended; some parent education, between operates and our phone infirmation, :Safi number ir parents for were from the CRC conference which The Chifdren's 202/547-6227.and works the to prevent hts Councif: began that day, and others were repre- See ourwebsites sentatives of Washington media, politics, at David society and philanthropy. They included L. Levg, offers and board . President ofdirectors: members of the Sarnoff, Cafritz, zeysaoinuern .:3,:,:mermanean, Gildenhorn, Ourisman, Pillsbury, and 7arboro sr. John 427h Hauserman9r Folger families, former Washington Post Char' n

Executive Editor Ben Bradlee and his 71?"2°484-Be4'esa Zaiser, Catherine .7fonorwy _7.D. wife writer Sally Quinn, and Susan Weyer, President: Terrycagy authorand Eisenhower, granddaughter of former wtf of theBritish Ambassador President Dwight D. Eisenhower. to the 7.45. A number of prominent individuals Catherine Meyer, chair Willa Lewis'

took part in sponsorship of the Benefit. Members of Congress Below is a copy of the invitation to The Honorable 5. Dennis Hastert The Honorable C. Boyden gray The Honorable 'Trent Lott the Embassy reception that was mailed The Honorable _lane goat The Honorable Gordon Smith The Honorable Lee H. Hamilton to more than 1,200 people prior to the The Honorable Debbie Stabenow The Honorable Richard Riley event. 'The Honorable Sherwood Boehfert The Honomflo Donna Sharala The Honorable Ben Cardin The Honorable judge Davit'. Gray Ross CRC is grateful to conference spon- The Honorable _lane Hannan Ms. Eloise Anderson sors: The Annie E. Casey Foundation 'The 7hmorable Steny Hoyer Ms. Susan Hurley DeConcini tie Honorable Nancy Johnson and the Freddie Mac Foundation. The Honorable Clay Shaw The Honorable Albert Wynn We thank Bladen The Benefit Committee Lithographics in Susan Hurley Bennett Margaret Cole Esther Coopersmith Gaithersburg, MD for Susan Eisenhower Sydney Me iCill" Ferguson Nancy F4er Amy Gerson Alma Gildenhont Cynthia Yana providing printing services Connie Carter Lawson Mary Ourisman 76na Pillsbury to CRC. *icy Riibin Andra Gard Schott Cathy Stephen Cate Maginnis Wyatt

Page 8 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Conference Awards

At the conference, CRC presented there was an inverse ratio between fam- A 2001 Volun- awards. They are: ily and poverty; that is, the states with teer of the Year the highest number of two parent fami- Award to Mark A 2001 Best in Media Award to CBSlies, had the lowest poverty rate. CRC Inzetta, J.D., for Evening News,Jim Stewart, correspon-has distributed that data to policymakers outstanding work dent and Mark Katkov, producer for theever since Burmeister uncovered the with the Children's two-part series on Alternatives to Di- information. Rights Council of vorce Litigation January 22-23. Mr. Ohio on behalf of Stewart accepted the award on behalf A 2001 Wins Volunteer children and fami- of CBS Evening News. It was noted that Child Advocacy Award lies CBS Evening News and 60 Minutes, a Award to Ernie CBS News Presentation, have also cov- Ashworth, A 2001 Best in ered other topics of concern to CRC, member, Grand Parenting Award, to including the damage that international Ole Opry, and Kat Cooper, Direc- parental kidnapping does to children. Bettye tor,Maricopa Ashworth, County, Arizona, Third Annual Grandparent for its Educational Sonny Burmeister Ernie and Bettye Spokespersons Video Project En- ChildAdvocacy Ashworth for the titled "Family Ties Lifetime Achieve- Children's Kat Cooper Wins and Knots" ment Award toRights Council Parenting Award Ronald K. Henry, for service to chil- A 2001 Child dren and families in Advocacy Award to Ron Henry, separation and di- Hadassah Luther, Advocate vorce. Henry is a theChildren's partner in the Rights Council's Washington, D.C. law firm of Kaye, first-ever Child Scholer, Fierman, Hays and Handler; Spokesperson member, American Law Institute; and Advisor, National Conference of Com- Hadassah Luther A 2001 Best in Lyn and Bill Huerter Pioneers in Helping Families missioners on Uniform State Laws. Ron Media Award to has helped many custody law reformChannel 11, Toledo, Ohio, for being a A Lifelong Achievement Award to advocates across the country. friend to Children and the Children'sLyn and Bill Huerter, pioneers in help- The first Sonny Burmeister awardRights Council by publicizing The Gifting children and parents, and for main- had previously gone to CandaceExchange Child Safety Center in Toledo taining CRC of Nebraska/Iowa, which Schooley, long time friend of Sonny, in has for several years been the largest of his name; the second Sonny Burmeister A 2001 Best inthe Children's Rights Council's 38 chap- award went to CRC President David L. Media Award toters Levy. Jerry Anderson, Sonny had been Anchorman, Chan- AnInterna- the engaging, re- nel 11 Toledo, tional Child Advo- sourceful, head of Ohio for being a cacy Award to CRC of Georgia be- friend to Children Catherine Meyer, fore his accidental and the Children's CRC's Honorary death in February, Receives Best in Rights Council by President, for lead- 1996. He would Media Award publicizing The Gift ership in publicizing Y/fy reach out to people Exchange Child the needs of chil- Award Presented in all cross the country Safety Center in Toledo Meyer Publicizes dren in the U.S. and name of late child who needed help. Plight of Kidnapped around the world advocate Sonny He also evaluated A 2001 Child Advocacy Award to Children Burmeister research. It wasNancy Beals, Connecticut State Repre- Burmeister who in a survey of Censussentative, for supporting children and the Bureau data in 1994 discovered thatChildren's Rights Council Continued on page 10 Summer 20,01 Speak Out For Children Page 9 ()D Conference Awards A 2001 Volun- Continued from page 9 teer of the Year CRC held a press confer- Award to Walter ence on Capitol Hill July 25 A 2001 Volun- M. Kuckes, for teer of the Year dedication to chil- honoring 7 states for the Best Award to Paul M. dren and families in State Initiatives Helping Chil- Robinson, for dedi- Minnesota by ob- dren and Families. cation to the cause Kuckes Publicizes taining state-wide of children and Information for availability of im- Parents in See our websiteat families, and for Minnesota portant court-ap- helping the proved access (visi- www.gocrc.com or the next is- Robinson has helped Children's Rightstation) information sue of "Speak Out for Children" CRC for Id years Council in many for details. ways for 16 years

NCO, Run to the Sun by Robert Dave

370pages,and flees to San Francisco, the furiousticing in Hawaii. softback, pub-Michael follows, unaware that he's be- The author is lished by Losting stalked by a single-minded murderer. married, and lives Coast Press, $17. In an attack aimed at Michael, Mona isin a stepfamily with ISBN 1- 882897-slain, and eyewitnesses place Michael atthe children ranging 59-5. Availablethe scene, making him the prime sus-in age from eight to Robert Dave from CRC (seepect. twenty-two. book catalog else- Santorini then goes underground One scene in the book is set at the where in this issue). with a close group of friends in order to1993 CRC conference in Bethesda, unravel an international conspiracy ofMaryland. The author and his wife also For fans ofJohn LeCarre or otherlies and secrets spanning epochs as wellattended the 13th national CRC con- writers of adventure/suspense/intrigue, as continents. ference in May, 2001. you will love Run to the Sun. Not only Santorini recalls some of the horrors In the interests of full disclosure, is the book exceptionally well written,of this custody battle. One involves awe must mention that the back cover but custody and access problems formcustody evaluation. If you have everof the book says that a portion of the the core reason as to why the action been subject to an evaluation which wasproceeds from the sale of this book will and suspense take place. based on assumptions, unproven facts,be donated to the Children's Rights Never before has CRC seen a cus-and questionable data, you will loveCouncil. tody dispute placed in the context of aChapter 7 -where Santorini's attorney Whether or not CRC receives any suspense novel. It is an ingenious waydemolishes evaluator "Large Marge."proceeds from sales, we would recom- to introduce readers who would nor-Marge had concluded that Santorini hadmend the book anyway, because it is mally never read a custody book tonot one, but two, personality disorders, an ingenious way to educate suspense learn about the topic within the con-based on her own flimsy assumptions.novel readers about the curse of an text of a fast-paced novel. The book isAfter the furious attorney cross-exami-attempted "Parentectomy"the re- a page-turner! nation of Marge, the reader is left withmoval of a loving parent from a child's Psychologist Michael Santorini livesthe possibility that Marge will never again life. in beautiful Hawaii, but there's plentyunjustifiably try to remove a caring par- Call your local book store or li- of trouble in paradise. Santorini and hisent from a child's life. Hired guns whobrary, and ask them to order the book! estranged wife Mona are battling forwill say anything, regardless of the truthThat's what some CRC people have custody of their young son and daugh- beware, suggests the author, who is adone, and we have gotten several book ter. When Mona kidnaps the childrenclinical and forensic psychologist prac-stores and libraries to carry the book!

Page 10 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001

as AttO IF3ook ©©B This Child of Mine: A Therapist's Journey by Martha Wakenshaw Reviewed by Jessica Brooks, CRC Staffer

187 pages, paper-children are often classified as havingpain of her own childhood and the suf- back. $12.95. ISBN"ODD,"or Oppositional Defiant Disor- ferings of her patients, Wakenshaw fights 0967473608. Harbin-der and shuffled through a complex andto bring love and hope into the lives of ger Press. inefficient system of paperwork and red all of her patients, as well as into her own tape. They act out in their anger and life. Mar th apain, often hurting themselves and oth- Despite the heartwrenching stories Wakenshaw's novelers. Wakenshaw attempts to understandwithin the book, Wakenshaw retains an chronicles both herthe psyche behind her patients' actions, optimistic attitude towards her work. She personal journey asand provide them with what they cravenever loses faith in the children she sees, an adult and a mother, and her profes-most-love. or in the healing power of love. This sional journey as a child therapist. The As an abused child herself,simultaneously heartbreaking and uplift- stories Wakenshaw recounts of her pa-Wakenshaw can sympathetically following book is written by a veteran psycho- tients-abused, neglected and trauma-her patients as they travel the road totherapist who has worked as a child tized children-are simply heartbreaking. recovery. In doing so, she discovers a therapist for fifteen years. Readers meet Jackson, Candy, Shellyneed for healing deep within herself and Both books reviewed are available and a host of other children who havebegins searching for her own path tofrom CRC. See Catalog of Books in this suffered unthinkable traumas. Thesespiritual recovery. Overwhelmed by theIssue. Adverfisement Connecticut CRC Celiebrates ChLes Day

CRC of Connecticut celebrated National Child's Day by sponsoring a New Haven Ravens baseball 121 West Monroe Avenue St. Louis, MO 63122 game at Yale University Baseball Field Sunday, May 16141 Swingley Ridge Road, Suite 106 Chesterfield, MO 63017 3. The Ravens is a farm team for the St. Louis Car- 314/909-9922 o 314/909-1831 fax dinals, one of the popular regional and local base- kitm @stImo.com o www.stlmo.com ball farm teams in the U.S. Ms. Themis Klarides, a state representative sup- MISSION STATEMENT portive of CRC of Connecticut, threw out the first ball, Hadassah Luther sang the national anthem, and Kids In the Middle's mission is to provide compre- "Take Me Out to the Ball game." hensive, affordable therapy for children and their "It was a terrific day. More than 2,000 people families who are experiencing the trauma of divorce, watched the game," said John Kristoff, CRC pro- separation, remarriage, and other family transitions gram director. CRC raffled box seats and a baseball and to provide related educational and support pro- bat signed by all the team members, with proceeds grams to the community. to CRC of Connecticut. "This was a day to make people aware of the Group and individual therapy for children need to recognize children's needs," said Mark ages 3 -18 Roseman, CRC Connecticut Coordinator. Family therapy available The Connecticut chapter also planned to hold a Financial assistance based on sliding scale free Family Day Picnic August 12, at the Ansonia Workshops and support for parents Nature and Recreation Center, Ansonia, CT, with School based programs available live folk music. In-service training and workshops for community

I; ft Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 11 2c.P 4. 107 Con-en-ence Snapshots

ChitiveNsPiGhts 13th AKONAL CONFEUENCE

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Page 12 Speak Out For Childrena,Summer 2001 4 aikfireespi its Council° 2001 CATALOG OF RESOURCES for pans and professionals MANY BOOKS DISCOUNTED! Buy at Discount and Sell Full Price to Your Group Make $$$ or Give Copies to Educate Judges or Policymakers Discounted Books Are in Bold Type

Book of the Month: Run to the Sun A novel of Suspense, by Robert Dave, 2001. The story of parental kidnapping, conspiracy and lies. Special CRC CD Ernie Ashworth and Friends: Sing Out For The Children's Rights Council

BOOKS FOR KOOS The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985. How to facilitate honest and open A Heart Full of Love, written by Bette S. Margolis, illus- communication between adults and children at the trau- trated by Christie L. Kline. A wonderful book for that spe- matic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for kids. cial 7- to 9-year-old in your life who is undergoing parental SB-108 $15.95 divorce. SB-101 $15.00 My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and Area Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James Body for Boys." Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. SB-109 Reg. $11.95 *Discount Price $6.00 HB-102 $16.95 Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by CNN's Larry King and BOOKS FOR PARENTS Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both a child's and a father's perspective. NEW! SB-103 $12.95 The Unexpected Legacy of Di- UNEXPECTED LEGACY vorceA 25-Year Landmark Study, How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad- by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read DI VORCE Sandra Blakeslee, 2000. The best-selling one-of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents book that says many children of divorce as they reshape their lives post-divorce. suffer long-term effects from divorce. SB-104 Reg. $9.95 *Discount Price $4.00 SB-200 $24.95 111.11,1

11.11.1A SANDRA BLAKESLIr I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative Ph.D. Almost 300 co-parents and 83 children report on life feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. in married, divorced, and step-family situations. SB-105 $4.95 SB-201 $9.95 What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman,Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive better than one. guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. SB-106 $12.00 HB-203 $6.00

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, byThe Divorce Help Source Book, by Margorie Engel, Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help 1994. Combines sound advice with hundreds of po- children understand divorce and sends a tential sources of help to assist you in getting the re- good message. sults you deserve. SB-107 $5.99 SB-204 Reg. $17.95 *Discount Price $7.00 Divorced Dads, Shattering the PUTTINGPutting Kids First, by Michael Myths, by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. IDS Oddenino. A must read for caring parents The surprising truth about fathers, children FIRSTand professionals, by CRC's General Coun- and divorce. sel. Includes a children's bill of rights. HB-205 $24.95 SB-215 $9.95 For the Sake of the Children, by Kris WALKING AWAY {ROM AMARRIAGE SecondChances,byJudith Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses WITHOUT WALKING OVER THE KIDS Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. how to share your children with your ex- Based on ten year longitudinal study of spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida co- the effects of divorce on adults and children. ordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! HB-216 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price $5.00 HB-206 Reg. $18.95 *Discount Price $9.00 Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par- Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid impact of divorce on children through different stages in discussing the problems of children being raised by of their lives. single parents. SB-207 Reg. $22.50 *Discount Price $5.00 SB-217 Reg. $14.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par-REVISED! ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. Jayne A. by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough Parenting" gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as and "Winning the Custody War Without Casualties" partners, not enemies. SB-218 $24.95 SB-208 $23.00 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, NEW! 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- This Child of Mine: ATherapist's Journey, by Martha pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. Wakenshaw. Stories of abused and neglected children whoHB-219 $19.50 are travelling the road to recovery. This book can help other abused children to recover. Familyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by HB-209 $12.95 Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to com- municating values. A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book HB-220 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $10.00 that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to SB-210 Reg. $10.00 *Discount Price $5.00 Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc- for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own re- each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- search, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for information. $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If SB-211 Reg. $22.95 *Discount Price $10.00 you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it REVISED! autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., names). 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make SB-221 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages Individual copies $10.00 to this classic book! Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary SB-212 $20.00 Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nationally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- HB-222 $25.00 solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. Points out destructive habits by both sexes which, whenThe Sibling Society, by Robert Bly, 1996, author of "Iron realized, strengthen families and relationships. John." Describes our culture as one where adults re- SB-213 $14.00 main children, and children have no desire to become adults-a nation of squabbling siblings. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, HB-223 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $12.00 by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. SB-214 Reg. $16.95 *Discount Price $7.00 NEW! Business Dad, by Tom Hirschfeld. How Good Business- Ceasefire, by Cathy Young, 1999, syndi- men Can Make Great Fathers (and Vice Versa), 1999. CEASEFIRE! cated columnist. Why women and men must Recommended by Stephen R. Covey author of The 7 join forces to achieve true equality; how that habits of Highly Effective People, and by James A. ICI will help children, too. Levine, director, The Fatherhood Project, Families and HB-224 $25.00 Work Institute. HB-218 Reg. $17.25 *Discount Price $10.00

Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie 1.40/K ST 01 RALTS SURPRISING W TRU OS Gallagher, 1996, syndicated columnist. Ask the Children, by Ellen Galinsky, How we destroy lasting love. president of the Families and Work In- HB-226 $25.00 stitute, 1999. What America's Children Really Think about Working Parents.

Friends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, What America Children Really HB-235 Reg. $25.00 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult Think About Working Parents *Discount Price $10.00 daughters. Ellen Galinsky HB-227 $29.00 FrewlesT Ride FiLliw midi,. Isom Saying No Is Not Enough - Rais- ing Children Who Make Wise Decisions About Talking Back to Ritalin, by Peter R. Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. Drugs and Alcohol, by Robert Schwebel, 1989. What doctors aren't telling you about the dan- HB-236 *Discount Price $5.00 gers of stimulants. Lessons in Honor and In- HB-228 $25.00 Fathers, Sons & Golf tegrity, by Andrew Shanley, 1997. The experience of a The Assault on Parenthood, by Dana father who spent a memorable summer with his sons Mack, 1997. The author, a scholar at the playing golf and learning about integrity. Institute for American Values, describes HB-237 *Discount Price $10.00 how our culture undermines the family. HB-229 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Mars and Venus in Love, by John Gray, Ph.D. 1996. From the author of "Men are from Mars, Women are Babyhood, by Paul Reiser0997.This from Venus", An inspiring and heartfelt stories from PAUL REISER is not a how-to-book. It contains humor- relationships that work ous stories by the star, co-creator andHB-238 *Discount Price $10.00 executive producer of the NBC Series Mad About You. Reiser's first book, Parent Power, by Roberta Kirshbaum, 1998. 90 Win- Couplehood, was a #1 New York Times ning ways to be involved and help your child get the bestseller list. most out of school. An inspirational handbook to help HB-230 Reg. $22.00 you take charge of your child's education, from kin- *Discount Price $10.00 dergarten through high school! HB-239 *Discount Price $5.00 Working Fathers, by James A. Levine, CRC Advisor, and Todd L. Plttinsky. A guide to help fathers as well as Like Father Like Son, by Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. mothers, employees and managers, succeed in man- This book is about experiencing life even when you aging the competitive demands of home and work. feel there may not be much happening. A warm, witty HB-231 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 and wise collection of stories on being a man at midlife in America. The War Against Parents, by Sylvia HB-240 *Discount Price $10.00 Ann Hewlett and Cornel West.Praised by CRC in a letter to the Washington PostAngry Marriage (Overcoming the Rage, Reclaim- W. Against Parents Book World when the book was pub- ing the Love), by Bonnie Maslin, Ph.D. 1994. A book lished in 1998. that will help you understand how to turn the anger in HB-232 $24.00 your marriage into a positive force. IRITIY.110.w.WwwwwwWw,wWw *Discount Price $10.00 HB-241 *Discount Price $4.00 Sylvia Ann Hewlett Comel West The Divorce Culture, by BarbaraFather's DayNotes from a New Dad in the Real Dafoe Whitehead (1996). Worth reading World, by Bill McCoy, 1995. A wonderful book for all for its insightful views of marriage and divorce, but new and not-so-new dads. deficient in not recognizing the phenomenon of theHB-242 *Discount Price $10.00 "forced away" and "pushed away" parents. HB-233 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $10.00 LIFE with Father, LIFE Magazine, Healing the Gender Wars -Therapy with Men and 1995. A wonderful gift book for men. Couples, by Samuel Slipp, 1996. In Healing the Gender 82 photographs collected from the ar- Wars, the author brings to bear his erudite and thoughtful chives of LIFE magazine, depicting analysis of male-female conflict, from a modern psycho- images of LIFE with father. analytic, object relations perspective, practical in applica- HB-243 tion. *Discount Price $10.00 HB-251 $10.00 Rookie Dad - Adventures In Fatherhood, by RickPeace with Your Partner - A Practical Guide to a Epstein, 1992. A hilarious and tender memoir by a first Happy Marriage, by Cranor Graves. time father. A wonderful gift for the man in your life! HB-252 *Discount Price $5.00 HB-244 *Discount Price $5.00 Letters From Dad - Lessons and Love, by John Building a Marriage10 Tools for Creating, Re- and Jack Broome, 1996. The book is a moving collec- pairing, and Maintaining Your Lives Together, tion of the letters John Broome sent his son, Jack, in by Cranor Graves. an effort to remain a positive force in his development. HB-245 *Discount Price $5.00 HB-253 *Discount Price $10.00

Who's On Top, Who's On BottomHow Couples Men on Divorce, edited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Can Learn to Share Power, by Dr. Robert Schwebel, Spano, 1997. "A rare, unusually focused anthology of 1994. Women and men reveal their struggles with one original essays that both entertains and instructs" another. The core of each story is about people who (Publisher's weekly). love each other, but are engaged in power struggles HB-607 *Discount Price $10.00 and unable to share power as equals. The book provides GOOD practical examples and solutions. OOKS FOR STEPPARENTS HB-246 *Discount Price $6.00 How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. Masculinity Reconstructed, by Dr. Ronald F. Levant. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the Changing the rules of manhood-at work, in relation- Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and ships and in family life. give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. HB-247 $10.00 *Discount Price HB-301 $13.95 Throwaway Dads, by Ross D. Parke and Making it as a Stepparent, New Armin A. Brott, 1999. The myths and barriers MAKING Ii' AS that keep men from being the fathers they SumiXRFNT Roles/New Rules, by Claire Berman, want to be. "An essential guide not only for 1986. Former president of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical fathers, but for a culture that is not sure what help and insights. to do with them" (Gurian, Michael) SB-302 $7.95 HB-248 $20.00 !CLAIRE BERMAN The Divorced Parent - Success Strat- Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Mala Burt for the Stepfamily Association egies for Raising Your Children After Separa- of America. tion, by Stephanie Marston, 1994. "Any parent could ben- SB-303 $9.95 efit from reading this truly exciting book. Hardly a page without good, practical suggestions for improving one's Making Peace in Your Stepfamily, by Harold H. parenting" (Louise Bates, Ph.D.) Bloomfield, M.D. 1993. A guide to surviving and thriv- HB-249 $12.00 ing as parents and stepparents. Filled with practical help and written with simplicity. NEW! HB-404 *Discount Price $10.00 Complex Issues in Child Custody Evaluations, by Philip M. Stahl, 1999. In this book, the author provides a OOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS theoretical and practical understanding of many of the factors that make custody evaluations complex. Stahl inte- grates disparate research findings into a comprehensiveGrandparenting in a Changing World, by Edna resource that will enable the evaluator and the court to un- LeShan, 1997. "Common sense presented with uncom- derstand and deal with spousal conflict, abuse and other mon grace." -Kirkus Reviews. complicating issues. SB-401 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 HB-250 $30.00 Grandparents Grandparents as Parents: A Sur- Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-sell- as Parents vival Guide for Raising a Second ing book for fathers who want to maintain con- . 11.Ain tact with their children. Family, by Sylvie de Toledo and Deborah Intalvalialtal SB-510 $12.50 Ed ler Brown. A "how-to" manual for grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. =2:7: The Divorced Parent: Success Strate- HB-403 Reg. $17.00 gies for Raising Your Children After Grandparenting: It's Not What It Separation, by Stephanie Marston, 1994. Provides practical advice and specific tools for raising well-adjusted chil- Used To Be, by Irene Endicott, forward dren. by Gloria Batiher, Expert Answers to your questions. HB-511 $21.00 HB-404 $6.00 Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A BOOKS FOR SDNGLE PARENTS collection of stories on being a man at midlife in America, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's HB-512 Reg. $21.95 *Discount Price _$11.00 Journey, by CRC's own Serge Prengel, 1998. Published with praise from Warren Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about Farrell, Karen De Crow, and James A. Cook. child custody and child support for a single par- SB-2501 $13.95 ent. Surviving Divorce-Women's Re- SB-513 $21.95 sources After Separation, by Mavis The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Maclean, 1991. Women coping with earnings, mainte- Emily Card, 1996. A plan for managing your nance and welfare in the U.S., France, and Great Brit- money when you are the only one your family can count ain. on. HB-502 *Discount Price $5.00 SB-514 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price $6.00 Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story, byQuestions from Dad, by CRC Spokesperson and pop John Thorndike, 1996. A memoir of Thorndike's life with singer Dwight Twilley, 1994. A very cool way to communi- his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make cate with your child. Introduced by Dr. Susan Forward. regarding their son's life. SB-515 $17.00 HB-503 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $12.00 I Am the Mother of Sons. Poems by Jayne Jaudon Ferrer, Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. 1996. Illustrated by Lina Levy. Shows the devastating consequences of fatherlessness HB-516 $10.00 in both individual families and in our society. HB-504 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Men on Divorce-The Other Side of the Story, edited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Spano, 1997. The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu-SB-517 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents the argument that American men are in crisis and includes whatOne Swell Dad, by Pat Ross, 1992. The book of memo- lead to this phenomenon. ries and expressions of fatherly endearment from the HB-505 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 past. HB-518 *Discount Price $9.00 The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, The Prodigal Father (Reuniting Fathers and Their housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. Children), by Mark Bryan, 1997. "'The Prodigal Fa- HB-506 $19.95 ther' is a prescription for renewal, offering fathers, mothers, and children a chance to forgive, redeem, and Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to heal their broken relationships and reconstruct whole, Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M. healthy, and reconciled lives" (Claudia Highbaugh) Berger, 1996. HB-605 *Discount Price $10.00 SB-507 $22.00 When She Leaves You, by Ian MacDonald, 1995."Men Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, often react disastrously to a marriage ending...this 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights book gives precisely the kind of help that can make a and desires. difference" (Steve Biddulph, author of Manhood). SB-509 Reg. $5.99 *Discount Price $3.00 HB-606 *Discount Price $5.00 1,0 MEDOATOON & CONFLOCT RESOLUTOON The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce/Cus- Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, tody Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the le- 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase sys- gal insights of Williams Dawes, Esq., 1997. tem to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom SB-707 $15.00 litigation. HB-601 $45.00 Every Parent's Guide to the Law, by Deborah L. Forman. Everything you need to know about legal issues Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults Re- affecting parents and children pre-birth through the child- cover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., rearing years. CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth SB-708 $18.00 Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-602 $15.00 Divorce Yourself, the National No-Fault Divorce Kit, by Daniel Sitarz, 3rd ed. 1993. Everything you and Parent Vs. Parent: How You and Your Child Can your spouse will need to obtain your divorce without Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman, using a lawyer. Instructions, easy-to-use legal forms, M.D., 1990. Expert advice for parents through all stages of checklists, and courtroom guidelines. Legally valid in the divorce process. all 50 states and D.C. HB-603 $20.95 SB-709 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $15.00

Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Di-NEW! vorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the funda- Betrayal of the Child, by Stewart Rein, mental skills of negotiation conflict resolution and me- 2001. A father's guide to Family Courts. "A book diation, for everyone's good. that refutes the single parent theology and SB-604 Reg. $13.95 $6.00 *Discount Price concludes that only two parents can serve the best interestsof children" (Dr. John LEGAL OSSUIES Chipingdon) A Glide salsa, Cab SB-710 $22.95 NEW! From Courtship to Courtroom: PARENTAL KODNAPPONG What Divorce Law Is Doing to Mariage, by Jed H. Abraham, 2000.Autographed Copies! Abraham, a lawyer, mediator, and joint cus-They Are My Children, Too, by Catherine Meyer, 1999. tody advocate, writes a chilling picture of Powerful account of a mother's loss of her children. A case how today's divorce laws make life miser- of international parental kidnapping. Written by CRC's new able for families. Honorary President. SB-701 $15.00 HB-801 $23.00

A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca 1997. A discussion of a divorced father's Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents struggle with the child custody industry. searching for their children and abductors who have taken HB-703 Reg. $21.00 them; also makes public policy recommendations. *Discount Price $10.00 HB-802 $22.95

The Custody Revolution, by Richard NEW! Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and Run to the Sun, by Robert Dave, 20001. A the Motherhood Mystique. novel of suspense. The story of parental kid- HB-704 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $15.00 napping, conspiracy and lies. HB-803 $16.95 Custody for Fathers, by Car leen and Michael Brennan, 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have The Recovery of Internationally Ab- helped fathers win (share) custody of their children in ducted Children, by Maureen Dabbagh, a mom-biased system. Nobertoaof 1997. This book is a guide, outlining the legal HB-705 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $12.00 steps to try to recover your internationally ab- Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, ducted child. Dabbagh provides advice on working with for- J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- eign attorneys and embassies, and gathering information tem and its effects on divorcing couples. on the abductor. HB-804 HB-706 $10.95 $20.00 CHDLD A USE PSYCHOLOGY Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong,Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, by Verena Kast, 1997. 1996. False accusations of child abuse: A road map for Self-Help/Psychology. A modern analysis of parent-child re- survivors that helps to answer their questions. lationships and their psychological effects both negative SB-901 $15.95 and positive. SB-1001 $13.00 The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for mental health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., How Can I get Through to You? by D.Glenn Foster 1995. An authoritative work on the Parental Alienation Syn- and Mary Marshall, 1994. Breakthroughs communication- drome. beyond gender, beyond therapy, beyond deception. Dis- SB-903 $35.00 cover your most effective method of getting through to the one you love. NEW! SB-1002 $12.95 Therapeutic Interventions for Children with Pa- rental Alienation Syndrome, by Richard A. Gardner,The Male Stress Syndrome (How to Survive Stress M.D. (2001). This is a book for therapists working with fami- in the 90's), by Georgia Witkin, Ph.D. 1986. A do-it- lies where children are alienated from a parent. yourself guide to managing male stress. SB-904 $40.00 SB-1003 *Discount Price $5.00 Children Held Hostage, Dealing withMan Enough - Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Programmed and Brainwashed Chil- Masculinity, by Frank Pittman, M.D. 1993. "You will dren, by Stanley S. Clawar, Ph.D., C.C.S. and laugh. You will cry. "Man Enough" offers an intimate Brynne Rivlin, M.S.S., 1991. This book is ap- and provocative peek inside the male psyche. If you're proved by the American Bar Association. a woman, you'll gain insight and compassion. If you're SB-905 $50.00 a man, it will free you!" (Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, CSW). Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas SB-1004 *Discount Price $10.00 Besharov, Ph.D., a resident scholar of the American Enter- prise Institute. A comprehensive guide to recognizing, pre- CONTEMPORARY DSSUES venting, and handling child abuse and neglect. SB-906 $12.00 Last Night in ParadiseSex and Morals at the Century's End, by Katie Roiphe, 1997. An eye open- The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can ing look at an age in which sexual liberation and one- Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gelles, 1996. A con- night-stands have been replaced by caution and fear. vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- Roiphe blends autobiography and cultural criticism to fare system. give us a vivid portrait of the sexual Puritanism sweep- HB-907 $23.00 ing the nation. CI-101 *Discount Price $10.00 Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, by Vunthausen Alex V. Levin, MD., and Mary S. Sheridan,The New Victorians A Young Woman's Chal- 1995. Issues in Diagnosis and Treatment. Syndrome lenge to the Old Feminist Order, by Rene Denfeld Deliberate creation or false reporting of 1995. "A powerful call to arms for women" (New York by Proxy illness, to gain attention for the caretaker. Times book review). A battle plan for the future of femi- This is a form of child abuse. nism that no thinking woman, of any age can or should NFXV.IBIN M.D. HB-908 Reg. $60.00 ignore. MARY S. %ERMAN *Discount Price $30.00 CI-102 *Discount Price $6.00

The Abuse Excuse-And Other Cop-Outs, by notedVictories of the Heart, by Robert Mark and Buddy Por- lawyer Alan Dershowitz, 1994. Sob stories and evasions tugal, 1996. The inside-story of a pioneer men's group of responsibility. and how men help each other change their lives. HB-909 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 CI-104 *Discount Price $10.00

Suggestions of abuse, by MichaelMonogamy, by Adam Phillips, 1996. All the present con- Yapko, 1994. "In clear and readable language troversies about the family are really discussions about Yapko shows what we know, and do not know- monogamy. About what keeps people together and why about the nature of memory, abuse, and re- they should stay together. In this book of one hundred covery" (Travis Carol, Ph.D) and twenty-one aphorisms, Adam Phillips asks why we SB-910 $15.00 all believe in monogamy. CI-106 *Discount Price $5.00

tr 11 VODEOS PONS ANDE:UTTONS Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth The famous "Children First" pin. Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- 8 colors, with figures of seven chil- perience of going through their parents' divorce. dren standing on a field of green V101 $25.00 with logo "Children First." Two prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" wide. Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- P101 $8.00 ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. Button created by Patti Diroff that says "Child support is more V102 $20.00 than a check, it's being a parent." With CRC logo, including children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2-1/4" diameter. Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- B202 $2.00 tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- T-SG-HRTS ate the child against the other parent. V103 $25.00 CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help Stop Crime, Give Children 2 Parents" Specify size: child S, M, L; Adult S, M, L, XL. REPORTS Specify color: white or blue. $10 adults, $8 children Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. Updated 1997. MUGS R101 $10.00 Each white ceramic mug says "Children's Rights Council" and "The Best Parent is Both Parents." A Mark Roseman cre- Parenting Plans. Three different parenting plans. ation. R102 $10.00 $8 each or two for $15. Joint Custody as a Child's Righta law review ar-Add $2 for shipping first mug, $1 each additional mug. ticle (1988), a legal brief with citations up to 1994 and a report by Section 16 of the American Psychological Asso- UM PER STOCKERS ciation describing "favorable outcomes" for children (1995) THE BEST PARENT IS BOTH PARENTS R103 $10.00 ChIL*A15 RiGAt5 (69A/Cit- SPECIAL CRC CD 1-800-787-KI DS Ernie Ashworth and Friends: Sing out For the Children'sThe Best Parent is Both Parents, white printing on a Rights Council black background. CD-101 $12.00 $1 apiece, 6 for $5.00 _I I_ L_ J L_ J L__ L__J I__ J L__1 L___1 L _1 I__J I __I f__J L__I I I__ I 11._11 II_JIAI J 1 11 _II II 1 IL J

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Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Title Suite 401 Total Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 (10% off for CRC members; Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 membership is $35/year) Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 Total or order books online at www.gocrc.com S/H $4.00 first item $1.00 each addtl. item Total enclosed SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP:

GC1LJLJLJLJL .= =-J J =1 L=.3 C.J COOL_ =ICJ LJLiLL-J L ILJC LJL JJ.1 CJ:.7 = C.=C. 1 I li6 Additional_ Aindings t -Rat Overnights by HnEants with the Other 7arent Are -4ine by Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D. author of book entitled, "Divorce Poison" to be published in October, 2001 This is a synopsis of an article by noted researcher Richard A. Warshak that appeared in the Family and Conciliation Courts Review, October, 2000 , a quarterly publication of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC). Reprinted with permission. It was the second article published by the AFCC in 2000 on this topic, reflecting the importance that the topic of overnights has become. The first article was by researchers Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. and Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D. that said extended overnights by infants with the other parent are o.k. (See "Speak Out for Children," Spring, 2001). Warshak provides additional research on the importance of encouraging overnights with the other parent. We thank CRC member Barbara Steinberg for bringing this article to our attention.

Proponents of overnight restrictionsducted an extensive examination of the act with parents in a wide variety of con- generally cite certain theories and con-effects of day care on children. The re-texts. Overnight visits certainly provide cepts of child development and empiri-sults derived showed that "There was noa greater range of activities than just a cal studies to defend their recommen-significant differences in attachment se-day visit. dations. Concerns about the harmful curity related to child-care participation. High quality relationships are best impact of two different nighttimeEven in extensive, early, unstable, orachieved when children experience each caregivers, or two different settings, are poor-quality care, the likelihood of in-parent participating in all aspects of daily most often voiced in the context of at-fants' insecure attachment to mother didlife such as morning activities, day care tachment theory (Bowlby 1969, 1973, not increase, nor did stable or high-qual-rituals, meals, bathing, and bedtime hab- 1980) and psychoanalytic theories ofity care increase the likelihood of devel-its. Overnights are crucial due to the development (Erikson, 1963, 1968,oping a secure attachment to motheropportunity for a wider range of involve- 1980, Mahler, Pine & Bergman, 1975). (NICHD Early Child Care Researchment. By contributing to the establish- Contemporary psychoanalytic theo-Network, 1997, p. 875). This researchment and consolidation of the parent- ries share the emphasis of the mother's provides firm support for recommend-child relationship, this will benefit the role in early development. It is easy toing that infants spend extended periodschild's long-term adjustment. appreciate how Bowlby's conclusionsof time with their fathers away from their Maccoby and Mnookin (1992) rea- about maternal deprivation, and subse-mother. son, "because our evidence suggests that quent interpretations of his ideas, would the probability of a father maintaining a lead to a general reluctance to separate Don't Ban Overnights in connection with the child over time is infants from the person designated as the Custody Matters greater if there are overnight visits, we psychological parent. Such reluctance believe thatvisitation should ordinarily be would extend to separation at night. But Specifically, fathers should not be construed to permit overnight stays if that does this theory of child developmentbanned from being granted access to is what the secondary parent desires." hold in the court of empirical re-overnights in custody matters. Gender In conclusion, blanket restrictions search?.... bias plays a factor in refusing to allowrequiring young children to spend ev- According to Michael Lamb (1994),non-primary custody fathers the oppor-ery night with the same parent after di- extended separations, including over-tunity to take care of their children over-vorce are inconsistent with current nights with either parent, usually do not night. The sex of the parent should defi-knowledge about the needs and capaci- stress infants when they are with thenitely not be the primary factor in de-ties of young children and their parents. other parent. ciding the specifics of a custody case. In particular, the opinion that children In terms of day care research, infants Countless studies have proven timecan tolerate sleeping during the day in who are in paid child care facilities areand time again that children benefit thetheir father's presence, and in the pres- able to develop and maintain deep andmost from a relationship when theyence of hired attendants in day care secure attachments to their mothers.maintain a solid, involved relationshipcenters, but not at night with their fa- There is no reason to suggest that fatherswith both parents following a divorce orthers, cannot be said to express a scien- would provide inferior attention and su-separation. All post-divorce custody is-tific judgement. It reveals a bias often pervision to their child than that of a paid sues should focus on what is best for therooted in inaccurate assumptions about day care worker. Fathers should not bechild; therefore they should maximizeearly child development. denied access to their own children onthe opportunity for children to develop Experts who endorse blanket restric- these grounds. and consolidate relationships with bothtions cannot provide adequate scientific In addition, the National Institute ofof their parents. According to psycholo-justification for their opinions. Courts, Child Health and Human Developmentgists, the best way to promote deep at-attorneys, and parents should be aware (NICHD) study of Early Child Care con-tachments is to allow children to inter-of such limitations. Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 21 117 d3EST COPY AVAILABLE IN THE COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC)

Children's Charities # 1513 of America The Children's Rights Council works to assure that children of separation and divorce obtain as much 5emotional and financial support as children of intact marriages.

Some of CRC's accomplishments:

OP Credited with being the organization that convinced Congress, for the first time in history, to provide funds for access/visitation demonstration programs in 1988;

OP The results of the above 1988 grants were so positive that in the 1996 Welfare Reform Law, Congress provided $10 million a year for all 50 states and jurisdictions to provide access/visitation programs;

41 Publicized findings that children with two parents generally have fewer problems with drugs and crimes than children with only one parent. Obtained changes in attitudes and laws in order to encourage a child's bonding to two parents and extended family;

400 Promoted the school-based "Banana Splits" program to help children of separation and divorce channel the transition in their lives into stronger academic achievement;

410° CRC and its chapters established transfer sites for children, parenting education and other programs in MD, VA, IL, NY, NE, OH and Washington, D.C.

4100 Provided assistance to parents and professionals on how to get through the divorce process in the most peaceful, problem-free way, so as to take the stress out of divorce. Money that would be spent on battling between parents is available for the children.

CRC°Ially receives funds that you actually designate!

To obtain a copy of our Catalog of Resources, Directory of Parenting Organizations, Affiliation Book, Annual Report, or latest audit, write or call CRC. Thank you. PLEASE COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST IN FEDERAL OFFICES, POST OFFICES, AND MILITARY ASES. IN UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC).

te through the Combined Federal Campaign if you work for the federal government at any federal office, post office, or military base;

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COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST FOR UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS. AVAILABLE ON AUDIO CASSETTE 13th National Conference of tile Ciildren's Rig-its Council Shared ParentingIt Makes Sense May 3-6, 2001 Bethesda, MD

TAPE # SESSION TITLE TAPE # SESSION TITLE

CRC01-1a The Perspective on Families: How Foundations, Gov't. Agencies and CRC01-07 ACCESS TRACK: Establishing and Operating a Successful Access Non-Profit Organizations View Family Issues: Maurice Moore, Teresa Center. Frank Banner, Jr., Terry Cady, Lyn Huerter, Fred Wall, Kaiser, Malcolm Smith, Linda Mellgren, Kevin Gallagher, Moderator: Margaret Wuwert, Moderator: Alfred Ellis David L. Levy, JD (Part 1 of 2) CRC01-1b The Perspective on Families: (Part 2 of 2) CRC01-08 ACCESS TRACK: Assisting High/Chronically Conflicted Parents Share Their Children: Kim Boedecker-Frey, Carol Garges

CRG01-02 FRIDAY PLENARY SESSION: Parenting After Divorce: Philip M. CRC01-09 ACCESS TRACK: Why Supervised Visitation? Mary Olesh Stahl, PhD CRC01-03 LUNCH: The New American Family: What Was Wrong With the Old CRC01-10 The International Perspective: CRC Chapters in Africa, Asia, Europe One? (Kathleen Parker's Material presented by Barbara F. Steinberg, and the UK: PhD) The Disturbing Reality of Parental Abductions, Divorce CRC01-4a CREATIVE WRITING GROUP: Telling Your Story of Loss, Hope and and Custody in Japan: Walter Benda, Max Meadows Renewal: Mark Roseman, PhD he Little Known Problems of Children and Parents CRC01-05 ADVOCACY: Playing a Responsible Role: Ronald K. Henry, JD Without Custody in the United Kingdom: Tony Coe CRC01-06 SATURDAY PLENARY SESSION: False Allegations of Parental CRC01-11 The Future of CRC: Questions and Answers: David L. Levy, JD; Alienation: Douglas A. Darnall, PhD John L. Bauserman, Jr., JD

CRC01-12 Grandparents Are Parents, Too! Jean T. Castagno CRC01-25 Generative Parenting: Seeking Peace in the Mediation of Divorce: Mark A. Rogers PsyD Jeffery Leving JD CRC01-13 Rebuilding the Bond: Pamela Stuart-Mills Hoch CRC01-26 Should Access Be Provided to Kidnappers After Children Have Been Recovered, and If So, Under What Circumstances? Maureen Dabbagh CRC01-14 Focused Thinking In Parenting: Teaching Children to Think & Solve CRC01-27 Alienation: How It Feels; What We Should Do About It! Ned Holstein, Problems Successfully: Stanley Posthumus MD CRG01-15 Gender Politics & Shared Parenting: Cathy Young CRC01-28 Alienation and Malpractice: A Case Study: Robert B. GiddIng, JD

CRC01-16 Developments on Capitol Hill That Affect Children & Families: David CRC01-29 Caught in the Crossfire: Dispelling Myths About Child Abuse and L. Levy, Teresa Kaiser, Mark Veney Custody Cases: Dean Tong CRC01-17 Dads and Stepdads Parenting With Moms and Stepmoms: Margorie CRC01-30 In the Best Interests of Children & Families: Judge Larnzell Martin, Engel, PhD (Part 1 of 2) Judge Woodrow Lewis CRC01-17a Dads and Stepdads Parenting With Moms and Stepmoms: CRC01-31 The Politics of Parenting: Stephen Baskerville, PhD (Part 2 of 2) CRC01-18 Family Ties and Knots: Kat Cooper CRC01-32a Foundations for Parental Alienation: Judicial Restrictions of Shared Parenting / Cost Shares Child Support) Guidelines: Donald Bieniewicz; John Guidubaldi, PhD; R. Mark Rogers (Part 1 of 2) CRC01-19 Financial Child Support: Obligation or Burden? Teresa Kaiser, JD CRC01-32b Foundations for Parental Alienation / Cost Shares Child Support Guidelines: (Part 2 of 2) CRC01-21 Developmentally Effective Parenting Plans: Philip M. Stahl, PhD CRC01-33 Building Successful Partnerships: Parents - The Key to Success: Sue Gatton, National PTA CRC01-22 Healthy Men, Healthy Fathers, Healthy Families: Edward E. Bartlett, CRC01-34 Reunification Success Stories: Douglas A. Darnall, PhD Barbara F. PhD Steinberg, PhD CRC01-23 Interstate and International Custody Matters: Where Will a New CRCO1 -35 No One Is Immune: A Psychologist's Encounter With the Tyranny of Administration Take Us? Richard Crouch. JD Conventional Wisdom: Robert Dave, PhD CRCO1 -24 Parallel Parenting Strategies: Keys for Success in High Conflict CRCO1 -36 Representing Single Custodial Fathers: Jeffery M. LevIng, JD, Mark Divorces: Richard H. Mikesell A. Rogers PysD

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Address Apt/Suite rt bP City Zip Phone Ecipaall IDearents9 Wee CRC 2nd Annual Training Session p is i l -en° 23September 3 ©9 October 13 By Patti Diroff, CRC will hold its second annual CRC Equal Parents Week National Coordinator all day meeting Saturday, October 13, 2001 (9 a.m. to 5 p.m.) for chap- The objective of Equal Parents' Week is to bring people together who believe ters heads, chapter members and that parental rights and responsibilities must be shared equally. members of CRC interested in be- The right of both parents to function as a parent, the right of children to be coming active in CRC or active in a raised and nurtured by both parents, and the right of families to exist and function chapter. Topics: chapter develop- as a family, are civil and human rights inalienable to all families. ment, grant development, market- This message will be sent from the hearts of families across this country and ing. around the world, who will unite their voices through the simple act of tying purple For those interested, we will have ribbons. dinner Saturday evening, and have The EPWwebsite can be found at http://members.tripod.com/epweek. a talk Sunday morning on a topic This year, the candlelight vigils will be held Tuesday, September 25, 2001 at 8:30 related to the training. The location p.m. (as the time occurs in each time zone) to avoid conflicts with Yom Kippur. will be at a hotel near the Baltimore The theme of the candlelight vigils, "A Moment In Our Hearts, A Moment Of Washington Airport (BWI) . Hotel Solidarity" is expressed in the special "5 Candles Reading" for the vigils, which is rooms will be under $85 for one based on "The Grandparents Holiday Wreath of Love" and can be found at http:/ night. The hotel location will be /members.tripod.com/epweek/candlevigil.html. posted on a CRC website, Two types of candlelight vigils are being held. Persons can choose to hold a www.gocrc.com by Labor Day, or public candlelight vigil (usually held outside and/or in a public place). "Home Vig- contact the CRC office. ils" are held by lighting a candle in your home for at least 15 minutes. A "Home Vigil" can be held by anyone, by a single person living alone or with immediate Everyone is welcome. family, and can include as many people as you wish. "Home Vigils" are very easy to do! You don't have to go anywhere or make any arrangements. Just stay home and reserve this special time to focus on the very personal feelings you have for your family, knowing you will be sharing this moment with people all around the world who are joining together to share the same focus and love for their families. Donors Are Persons who cannot attend a public vigil are urged to hold their own "Home Appreciated Vigil" to add their voices and strengthen the message of Equal Parents' Week. Complementary Equal Parents' Week buttons are being sent to people who sign CRC thanks everyone who con- up and commit to holding candlelight vigils. tributes to CRC in the charity drive In addition to the vigils, other activities can be held as part of Equal Parents' that takes place in all federal govern- Week, including picnics, social gatherings, gatherings with or without guest speak- ment offices every Fall. CRC is part ers, and rallies. Any activity which includes tying and wearing purple ribbons can of Independent Charities of be used. People who are able to make large banners can also use these to attract America. We also thank those who public and media attention. "Just SayYes to Shared Parenting," "Shared Parenting contribute to CRC in the Washing- Is About Putting Children First," "Shared Parenting Works When We Put Chil- ton, D.C., and San Francisco (Bay dren First," which promote the JUST SAYYES! campaign are some examples of Area) United Way campaigns. slogans which help send our message. We also thank those who con- Sign up links for vigils and activities are available on the Equal Parents' Week tribute to CRC through their United website. Way in some other part of the coun- Please contact the National Coordinator, Patti Diroff, at (909) 591-3689. try, where we are not listed, but where employers may sometimes Teat the Tax Mn a Chnange olAddress allow employees to designate CRC. Contrilbute to CRC CRC depends on volunteer help To keep newsletters and other and contributions for its existence. Keep working for children. If you materials coming, please notify wish to consider leaving a bequest CRC three weeks in advance of If you wish to make your tax-de- or property to CRC, please state the ductible contribution directly to any address change. Send old following in your will: "I hereby CRC, send it to CRC, 300 I Street, leave the following to the Children's and new addresses to CRC, 300 Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002. Rights Council: (state your be- "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, quest) ." Washington, DC 20002. Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 25 BEST copyAVAILABLE (SII GEr'velerniien Debts Excerpted from an article by Cheryl Wetzstein in The Washington Times, June 13, 2001.

"Ray was a teen-age father when hechampioned by former Sen. Bill Brad-Geraldine Jensen. went to jail on a felony charge for 17ley of New Jersey, judges are forbidden "The states were sort of piling on, years. By the time he was released two from retroactively reducing or forgivingbilling unwed or absent fathers for the years ago, he owed the state of Marylandchild-support arrears. Medicaid-paid costs of their children's $14,000 in child support to defray the "While this law was intended to stopbirths, paternity tests and interest on the costs of welfare for his children and theirjudges from unilaterally wiping out debtdebt," she said. "The result was that mothers. based on parents' sob stories, it also hadmany young fathers ended up with "Today, Ray, which is not his realthe unintended consequence of creating$10,000 in debt and a lot of them would name, is part of a pilot program starteda debt meter that couldn't be stopped.just run and go underground," she said. by Maryland child-support officials toThis applies even to parents who are"That meant many families didn't get `leverage' his $14,000 debt. hospitalized for months, given longchild support." "Under the program, Ray had toprison sentences or taken hostage in a Editor's Note: Debt-forgiveness pro- graduate from a community-based pro-foreign country. grams provide crucial outreach efforts to gram that teaches job readiness or re- There is widespread support for find-"deadbroke parents," usually poor, un- sponsible fatherhood, get a job and makeingways to help parentsmostlyfathers--wed fathers. Children need the love and regular child-support payments for sixbecome responsible for their children. support of both parents. Programs that months. Groups that worked with poor fa-provide training, support and education "In return, the state erased 25 per-thers, however, quickly realized thatto parents in exchange for forgiving cent of Ray's debt. child-support arrears were a major ob-arrearages that would probably never be "If Ray does this three more times, stacle. paid anywaybecause of the impover- all his state debt could be gone," said "Without a debt-leveraging program, ishment of the parentsis a great way to Teresa Kaiser, Maryland's child-support"a lot of guys would go to their gravesencourage involvement of both parents enforcement director. with arrearages," said James Smith, ain the raising of their children, emotion- "The Baltimore debt-leveraging pro-case manager at CFWD. ally as well as financially. gram, which will be a year old in July, is "The Association for Children for We thank visionary Maryland Child being closely watched by state officialsEnforcement of Support has been urg-Support Director Teresa Kaiser for be- and advocates. ing states to find ways to offer amnestying the first child support director in the "Child-support debt is supposed tofor some of the debts owed by noncus-country to initiate a federally authorized be unforgivable. Under a federal lawtodial parents,' said ACES Presidentstate debt-forgiveness program.

Letter to the Editor CRC Needs Editor: * Free or reduced rent office Clayton Giles, a 14 year old boy from Canada, has walked and ridden his space. Get a tax write-off as bike from Calgary, Canada to Washington, D.C. in order to increase awareness of the injustice that Family Courts can inflict upon children of divorcing par- you help kids and CRC. ents. 2,000 square feet or more He made stops in several U.S. cities, including cities in New York, Massa- anywhere in the Washing- chusetts, Maryland, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Dela- ton, D.C. area (Maryland, ware, and finally Washington, D.C. D.C. or Virginia). Clayton began his journey from Calgary at the end of May and was expected to reach Washington by mid-August. You can read all about his trip at http:// * Volunteers to help with fil- legalldds.com/ ing, phone calls, and writ- I urge you to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to share ing letters. this boy's commitment to children and families. By giving this little boy your * Our chapters need com- support, you will bring valuable publicity to your organization and to the terrible puters and office space. violation of civil liberaties that non-custodial parents and their children suffer. * Lawyers to write CRC Am- Deborah M. Colerick, icus Briefs on appeal. Charlotte, NC Page 26 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001

a se'p 122 President1"us:a Homes Nation C Day Proclamation for 20011

The U.S. is one of the few countries Each year for the past 6 years, eitherLee Rechter, Kristie Schwartz, of Senator that do not celebrate a National Child'sthe House or the Senate has passed a one-Graham's office, Ruth Kidd of the Day. But that may be changing. time resolution. Earlier House resolutionsChildren's Museum, and CRC officers. For the first time, a U.S. Presidentdeclared Children's Day in October. But Dr. Christine Brooks, a former has issued a proclamation declaring thatfor the past three years, Senator Bob Gra-staffer for Sen. Graham, is helping to the first Sunday in June is Nationalham (D-FL) has sponsored a Senate reso- make National Child's Day a national Child's Day. President Bush signed the lution declaring that National Child's DayHoliday. proclamation marking Sunday, June 3,is the first Sunday in June. The way that Mother's Day and 2001, as National Child's Day. "This nestles it between Mother's Father's Day have been national holidays CRC and FOCUS, a group based inDay and Father's Day, just where itfor years is by presidential proclamation. Florida headed by Mrs. Lee Rechter, areshould be," said CRC President David "Ms. Rechter is the mother of Na- now asking the President to declare Child's L. Levy. tional Child's Day and David L. Levy is Day a permanent, national holiday. CRC held a press conference on Na-the father of National Child's Day," said "That way, Congress would not havetional Child's Day at the National Capitala Capitol Hill observer. "Both have been to pass a resolution each year," said Ms.Children's Museum, attended by Wash-working on this project for a long time." Rechter. ington, D.C. Councilman Harold Brazil,

HOUSE WEBTE 1-1-V, Our responsibility to our young Secretary their physical people, however, of thePress 2001 and emotional extends beyond Office June 2, quality education, well-being. We just so that no child must also provide economy. Adults is left behind them witha should also in our fast-paced goals, make encourage youngsters global right choices, to always set Release 2001 doing so, boys and stay involved high diate DO and girls can in theircommunities. For imme CHILD'S contributing pursue lives of By members of society. meaning and fulfillment NATIONAL as Every child OfAMERICA in every neighborhood has unique STATES urture our children's gifts to offer. U1,11TED d ensure their dreams, helpthem develop We must Of 11-1.E healthy development their talents tential. Our so that they and abilities, 13051130,a success in this may reach their BY 1.11E Ned 'r lives and vital endeavor full APROCLAMATION are the future will affect the and who strength andvitality of direction of big dreams industry, our Nation. dreamers today government, continued recognition ofthe importance who are in and its the leaders country Americans e Resolution 90 of our Nation's children, serve as our young approved May children the 01-1( someday good of g;ive all as "National Child's 25, 2001, has Senate, by will For the strive to designated with hope, arts. amation calling Day" and has June 3, and the we must requested thatthe President for appropriate issue education, advancement, is ceremonies andactivities. progressand life. Child's Day special start in 's Day, 'This ', THEREFORE, Father month. I, GEORGE bestpossible and of the and wonde W. BUSH, Day Sunday the joys America, by President Mother's first virtue of theauthority vested ofthe United between 3, the remember n and laws of the in me by Falling on lune to and healthy United States, e this year opportunity positive achievements ational Child's do hereby a uriique how later Day.I encourage proclaim June3, celebratedgives us reflect on influence reparing our all Americans and to young people for to share occasion childhood significantly life's challenges in the own early years of om By readingto youngsters, and of our M one's well and providing them listening totheir cares e%periences the safety deserves with safe and and youngster sting contribution loving homes, andhappiness to ensure ENO)! this is to their health, we can make together happiness, a work omchildren.but,unfortunately,another, and well-being. must resource, family; one S WHEREOF, All adultsprecious and caring people lovewell asthe I have hereunto most rtial:e as e year set my hand this Nation's permanent, cannot families, ofour Lord two thousand second in a safe, Government that helps the United one, and of the to live the case. climate States of America cultivate a them. for our the two hundred not alwaysand must and can thatsupport and caring and bM h and groups to loving neighborhoods GEORGE indWiduals itscommitment and andaddiction. W. BUSH reaffirm of schools poverty must must the safety fight we Ourlslation improve groups to homes, \NT e must communityup Msingle-parent spiritual children. and including also help faith-based now grow in allits aspects, We must mobilize supPort. encourage many fatherhood, and Because andfinancialand neglect, parents. responsible abuse biological promote security, from their emotional children from leadership, protect beremoved in crisis, who 1111-1St familiesforchildren adoption Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 27 A23 i BEST cop AVAILABLE L tin c©FAVIE11C-2D -99

Responsible in cases of child support. This bill au-English (R-PA), provides in Section 5 thorizes the Secretary of State to refuse,that a taxpayer shall be allowed alimony Fatherhood Act 2001 revoke, restrict, or limit use of a pass-and child support deductions for an S. 653 (Senate bill) and H.R. 1300port if the applicant or passport holderamount equal to the alimony, child sup- is a non-custodial parent who is the ob-port, or separate maintenance payments (House bill). The Responsible Fatherhood Actject of an outstanding State arrest war -paid during the taxpayer's taxable year. provides for $77 million in fatherhoodrant. The warrants are for nonpaymentUnder current law, the custodial parent programs. $25 million would be forof child support, where the amount inmay claim the $2,000 child exemption. media campaigns, $50 million would becontroversy is not less than $10,000.H.R. 86 does not change who can claim for block grants to the states for father-Referred to House Subcommittee onthe child exemption, but encourages hood programs, and $1 million or $2International Operations and Humanparents to pay child support because it million would be for a national clearing-Rights, phone (202) 225-3345. CRC hasprovides some incentive to do so. Write house of information. The media cam-asked Rep. Andrews to provide a bal- to your representative letting them know paigns would include ads on fatherhoodancing amendment to this bill to deny that allowing a parentwho pays child sup- during prime time viewing hours. passports to custodial parents who haveport to deduct the payment from his/her It would be the responsibility for gov-been found to be in violation of any cus-taxeswill encourage the payment of child ernors of the various states to allocatetody or visitation court order. Write to support . Send a copy of their response funds to state agencies, non-profit or faith-Rep. Andrews stating that parents areto CRC. based groups to run various programs tosometimes in contempt or other viola- encourage marriage and fatherhood. tion of court ordered custody or access, The address for all House members The Senate bill's major sponsor isand that he should amend H.R. 407 tois House of Representatives, Washing- Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), and the House'sprovide for denial of passports for thiston, D.C. 20515. The address for all main sponsor is Rep. Julia Carson (D-reason. Ask your own representative toSenators is U.S. Senate, Washington, IN). The bills have bipartisan support,introduce such an amendment. LetD.C. 20510. The telephone number to and are expected to be passed by Con-CRC know the response. reach all members of Congress is (202) gress this Fall. 224-3121. CRC college student interns, led by Tax Interception intern Ron Varga, met with Bayh's and Carson's staff to make certain that Safe H.R. 869, introduced by Rep. Contact Other CRC Haven Child Access Transfer Centers,Michael N. Castle (R-DE), titled the Members by E-mail run by CRC and other organizations,Child Support Fairness and Tax Inter- would be eligible for funding. The staffception Act of 2001. This bill amends Send and receive e-mail from said such programs could be funded bytitle IV part D (Child Support and Es- other CRC members around the the state under the block grants. tablishment of Paternity) of the Social country. Earlier this year, at the request ofSecurity Act to provide for the use of If you are a CRC member, e- CRC, Sen. Bayh added a provision tothe tax refund intercept program to col- mail the following message to the bill that said, in considering finding,lect past-due child support on behalf of Harry Prillaman, CRC Coordina- one of the factors should be programschildren who are not minors. Referred tor for Georgia, who is supervis- that explain "the benefits of the involve-to House Subcommittee on Human ing this service. He can be reached ment of both parents in a child's life." Resources, telephone (202) 225-1025. at ppilla @us.ibm.com The Senate bill was referred to theWrite to Rep. Castle to explain that sometimes parents will win a court award Dear Harry. I am a national Senate Finance Committee, (202) 224- CRC member who would like to join 4515 and the House version was referred for another parent's interference with custody or access, and that H.R. 869 the crc- general @yahoogroups. corn to House Ways and Means Committee, distribution list. (202) 225-3625. Contact your Houseshould also apply to those unpaid judg Thanks, members and Senators and lend supportments. Write to your own representa- Your name, mailing address, to the bills. tive asking for such an amendment. Let phone number, and e-mail address CRC know the response. Call the CRC national office Denial of Passports at 202-547-6227 or fax 202 -546- Simplified USA Tax 4272 to make sure your national H.R. 407, introduced by Rep. Rob- Act of 2001 membership is current. ert Andrews (D, NJ), establishes a denial of passports to non-custodial parents H.R. 86, introduced by Rep. Phil

Page 28 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 12i 47(mr-Ateee, FewerTeen-AgersPregnant Wetzstein, June13, 2001. Washington Timesarticle by Cheryl Excerpted from a abortions andbirthrates that 1997, reflecting aslide in pregnancy, rate fell to arecord low in "The teen pregnancy said June 12,2001. Center for HealthStatistics the decade, thefederal government researchers withthe National began earlier in pregnancies in1997, said There were872,000 teen 1,000 teens available, was 94.3pregnancies per (NCHS). which is the mostrecent figure "The 1997teen-pregnancy rate, per the rate peaked at116.5 pregnancies age 15-19. teen-pregnancy ratein 1991, when of national lower than the 1976, whenconsistent collection "This is 19 percent This is also thelowest rate since 1,000 teens, saidNCHS researchers. and ethnic groups,' began, they said. fell for 'all racial pregnancy rates especially since teenpregnancy rates "The news is'greatly encouraging,' Health and HumanServices Secretary Thompson said. Tommy G. talk Young- Mr. Thompsonurged parents to Sing-1esAim about pregnancyissues, as at Lasting Maniage to their teens influence on Excerpted they can havethe greatest froma Washington Times by Ch article their children. eryl Wetzstein, is 'dedicated to June 13, 2001. "The White House 'Young singleadults are in well," he said,listing long `soulmate, tensely averse doing its part' as ' says a study to divorce andwan t to marry of "$64 millionto "They kn by the NationalMarriage Project. a life- budget requests ow who theywan t-Miss they offathers' in fami- want-divorce, or Mr. Righ t-nd `strengthen the role said Barbara Dafoe know whatthey lies, $33 millionfor teenmaternity David Popenoea sociology professor Whitehead,who runs the funding for at Rutgers University project with group homes,and equal NJ.don't in New Brunswick, and programs `abstinence education "The hardpart may be getting contraception use.'" time and sticking there-making that teach about to it,' said Mrs. Whitehead, the right choice,at the right In the NCHSreport, Stephanie her 1993 Atlantic Mon thly who gainednational attention her colleaguescred- Young article, "Dan Quayiewas Right." with J. Ventura and people 's aspirationsfor lasting abstinence andincreased marriages ited sexual is weakeningas a social institution come at a timewhen mar contraception use as reasonsfor the of Our Unions: the two researchers 2001' report,issuedfune said in their 'State in teen pregnancy, Marriage has 13, 1001. recent declines vanishedas the normal rite abortion andbirthrates. parenthoodeconomic ofpassagefor sexual involvement the intro- "Instead, growth and religiousand public adulthood, , "Other factors are marriage isa "gaining popular/ contracep- tensely priva they said. duction oflong-lasting te, spin tualized ty as a `super-relationship '-an Norplant and Depo- union, combining in- tives, such as emotional in timacyandtogetherness. sexual fidelity, roman tic love, "Ninety-four Prove ra, and agood economy, percent of never-married inspired more you want your adults agree which may have spouse to be that when 'youmarry, pregnancy sothey said, citing data your soul mate,first and foremost, teens to avoid froma Gallup poll taken the researchers could pursueeducational and An upsideof the 'soul-mate this year of 1,003adults ages 20-29. people-86 percent-believe approach is career goals,they said. that a highPercentage ofyoung Jennifer Manlove, are- Mrs. Whitehead. that maniageis 'hard- work This is 'not and a fulme job,'said Child Trends "A downside, however,a cavalier atti tudeabout marriage, searcher with is that couples she said. Inc., said tenn-pregnancyrates other for happiness who are highlydependen because en thood. are likely to struggle,especially t on each may continueto fall under the demandsofpar- been de- "Also, if abortion rates have couples set highexpectations birthrates fell turmoil well.Unless for their clining and teen you havea very clear understandingmanage the not handle in both 1998and 1999." with a sou/mate is all about, about what poin tad if that there isa risk that someone daily life high level isn't wil/ be extremelydisap- "In their study, attained dayto day,' said Mrs. Whitehead. Mr. Pop and Mrs. Whitehead young adultsagreed that the divorce found that rate was too high." 88 percentof

From Volume 16, Number 2, Summer 2001, Speak Out for Children, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council 125 National[Affilia tte tions and Caapters

International Arizona Iowa See Nebraska /Iowa Nebraska/Iowa Rita A. Jones, president Conrad Greene, coordinator Lyn and William Huerter, Bill Clemens, treasurer CRC of Great Britain CRC of Arizona Kentucky coordinators CRC of Philadelphia Tony and Christine Coe, P 0 Box 454 Kevin O'Brien, coordinator Kevin Boston, president P.O. Box 11413 coordinators Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 Ann Swango, director CRC of Nebraska Philadelphia, PA 19111 Children's Rights Council of the phone: 480/970 -5903 CRC of Kentucky P 0 Box 45387 phone: 215/844-2372 United Kingdom fax: 480/970-5925 P. 0. Box 534 Omaha, NE 68145-0387 38-40 Gloucester Road Florence, KY 41022-0534 402/330-3353 (voice and fax) Kurt Krusen London, SW7 4QU London, California phone: 859/647 -2235 email: childrenGradiks.net CRC of Harrisburg/Capitol Region England Patricia Gehlen, coordinator [email protected] website: wmv.hunpmet/oma 15 Beaver Road phone: 011-44-20 7589 9003 CRC of California website: www.pacegroupang Camp Hill, PA 17011 fax: 011-44-20 7584 4230 P.O. Box 163801 New Jersey phone: 717/763-0673 email: tonyc@equalixtrentingAng Sacramento, CA 95816-9081 Maryland Eric Puntsson, president lax: 717/763-7183 website: www.equalparenting.org phone and fax: 916/635-2590 Harvey Walden, coordinator New Jersey Council for Children's email: CRCCaliPgaol.com CRC of Maryland Rights South Carolina-see North Carolina CRC ofJapan 417 Pershing Drive (NJCCR) Walter Benda Colorado Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 P 0 Box 195 Tennessee P.O. 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James Ainsworth David Courson Daniel Hogan TJ. Nagy Ted Spear Adonis Lee Ali Dorothy Cowling Ned Holstein Kevin O'Brien Gerald Squares Kevin Baggett Alan Cox Chu Hsiang-Lieh Richard O'Neil Linda Stetson Della Faye Bales John Cristofano Don Hubin Lester Ostroy Thelma Stinnet Davell Banks Richard Crouch Steven Hullman Caron Owen Vivian Stoutimore Sandra Barkey Ron Davey Juanita Hutson Nicholas Palermo William Strange Gregory Barnett Murray Davis John Inghram Bahlire Patterson Scott Strohm Victor Bats Michael Dawson Penny Ishii Liana Payson Peter Sullivan David Bell Holly DeWolfe David & Betty Joc Don Peery Wendy Swallow Rudolf Benda Gregory Deyermenjian Luthen Tim Peterson Wendy Swallow Boris Bergus Michael Di Asio Thomas Johnson John Phair Richard Taylor Andrew Betz Lee Dudinsky Dennis Johnson Richard Phillips Jackie Taylor Rod Bivings Joseph Dunbar John Jolley Russell Powell Jolene Thompson Jack Blaylock Jr. John Dyer Betty Kaczmarek Craig Raddatz Tyler Todd Craig Bomcamp Robert Eier Aldoren Kauzlarich Darren & Mary Ann Matthew Tuuri James Boslough Henry Elbert William Kirchhoff Rhodes Gregg Valentine Thomas Bosworth Juanita Everett Barbara Koman Michael Rigo Debbie Vanicke John Boudreau Dennis Fenwick Esq. Robert Krollman JoAnne Risser-Hicks Dan Verniero III Grant Brigham Scott Field Patrick Lacy John Rude David Wagner Sharon Brooks Steve Finucane Jeannine Lamp James Sanchez Gloria Mae Wagner Lisa Brooks Michael Flores Daniel Lovarin Gary Savard Ernest Weeks Norman Burkart Jo Fogel A. Jayne Major Gregg Schaaf Burton Weiss Clint Burnett Tommy Foster Richard Martin Marci Schmidt Lawrence Whyte Orrington Caldwell Val Franz William McHemy Richard Schoen Thomas Wiehl James Campbell Quint Gamos Rosemary Melichar John Schulte Richard Wise Stephen Carrier Subhen Ghosh Connie Miller Elizabeth Sedgwick Linda Wood Miriam Galper Cohen Jim Gilson Aaron Moore Charles Sheppard Dan Wunsch Michael Cohen Laurie Hand Joe Motacek John Shinholser Burton Ziskind Del & Anita Cooper Roberta Hernandez Michael Murphy Mark & Patty Shull Tony & May Zizza Kevin Cordle Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 31 127 A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. ArsRi CAR0L Permit #881

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Vol. 16 No. ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Assisting Children of nrotghEducation Separated, Divorced, And Advocacy and Ncvcr-Married Parents otyrFORelsr4. ts*

44.6 The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "1" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, 1).C. 20002-4389 Phone (202).547-6227 Fax (202)546-4272Websites: gocrc.com and info4parents.com IN THIS ISSUE: Country Music Embraces Children's Rights Council Extended Overnights with Other Parent OK... 3 There are only 72 members of the Grand Ole Opry (www.opry.com). As Ernie Ashworth ex- Masters Prowani ...... 5 plained at the CD release party in Nashville on March 18, Grand Ole Opry members get many re- Collaborative Liw 6 quests to lend their name to projects "and we must

CRC View 7 be cautious." There are millions of country music fans around Around the Country 9 the U.S. and abroad who love the tradition of country music as performed by Ernie Ashworth Divorced Mother (www.ErnieAshworth.com) and the other Opry Drops Online members. Parenting Request...... 10 Ernie and Bettye Ashworth A while ago, three people who knew Mr. Ashworth asked him to support CRC. They were Chapter News 11 Ernie is a member of the Grand Ole Opry; Ernie and Bettye are new CRC Grandparent Spokespersons Jean Massengale, Keith BradfUrd, owner of KMA Court Cases 12 Records, and Steve Webb, owner of Country Mu- The Children's Rights sic Webs. National Child's Day 13 Council has struck a chord Massengale, a songwriter and country artist manager, teamed up with Charlotte Bradford to write Book Nook 14 with Country Music. KMA Records of Nashville has the theme song, "Hear the Cries of the Children;" Bradford, owner of KMA Records, produced the Books, Videos, brought together Ernie Buttons 15-20 Ashworth, a member of the CD album. Steve Webb works with David Courson, Grand Ole Opry, and other CRC Tennessee Coordinator, in developing the Equal Parents' Week... 21 rising stars in the country CRC Tennessee chapter. music field, to produce a Ernie Ashworth and his wife Bettye, who have Audio Cassettes 22 4 children and 8 grandchildren, were moved after compact disc (CD) entitled Hadascah hearing the trio talk glowingly of CRC. In addition Bills in Congress 23 "Ernie Asliworth and Friends Sing Out fir the Children's Rights Council." to being involved in this album project, Ernie and (12:4Letter to Editor 24 On the CD, Ernie Ashworth sings his 1964 Bettye also accepted an invitation to become Grand- number one hit single "Talk Back Tremblingparent Spokespersons for CRC. Upcoming Events 25 Lips." Hadassah Luther, 13, CRC's first ever child The country artists who sing on the CD paid their own expenses to come to Nashville from six V:4National Affiliate spokesperson, sings "Hear the Cries of the Chil- dren." This song is the first ever National Themestates, to record the album and to join in the CD Organizations release party activities. They are Mark Rivers of and 26 Song for CRC, and everyone was moved when Hadassah (www.myhadassah.com) performed itNorth Carolina, Sharon Brooks of Nebraska, Lori Contributors 27 at the CD release party. Continued on mgt. 8

9 CRC is a member of

"Speak Out forChildren"is published by the Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. Levy. Contributors to this issue: Amy Carnright, Don Bieniewicz, Al Ellis, Julie Maggiacomo, Paul Robinson, Dave Davis, Harvey Walden, Ken Skilling, and college student interns Matthew Milone, Catholic University, and Jennifer Remare, Stonehill College. Layout by Sheila Holzberger.

Children's The CRC Charities of America

The Children's Rights Council others who are part of the familymission, provided the source ("Re- (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRS fabric, working as a team. printed from the Children's Rights .501(c)(3) children's rights organization CRC envisions a society where laws,Council newsletter 'Speak Out for Chil- based in Washington, D.C. attitudes, and public opinion affirmdren,' Spring 2001) is given. For non- that for children, "The Best Parent isCRC material, obtain permission from Mission Both Parents." the copyright owner. For further infbr- The Children's Rights Council (CRC) mation about CRC membership, publi- is a national, non-profit organization Formed in 198.5 by concerned par-cations, cassettes, catalog, and services, committed to the loving, nurturing, ents who had more than 40 years collec-write: CRC, 300 "1" Street N.E., Suite protecting and education of children 401, Washington, D.C. 20002; phone through both parents and extendedtive experience in custody refbrm and early childhood education, CRC has(202) .547-6227; fax (202) 546-4CRC family. chapters in 32 states and fbur national(4272). CRC is dedicated to helping children affiliate organizations: Mothers Without CRC has two websites: by promoting family formation, www.goac.ami (our main CRC site) and shared parenting, mediation, parentCustody, (MW/OC), The Stepfamily Association of America (SAA), CO-www.infoiliparents.com fin expanded education, and mitigating the effects MAMAS, and Parenting Coalition Inter-parenting information). of divorce and relationship breakups national, Inc. CRC's email address: On children and parents. Prominent professionals in the [email protected] Speak Out for Chil- Vision of religion, law, social work, psychology,dren is published four times a year and CRC's vision is a society where bothchild care, education, business, and gov-is sent free to members. Library rate: parents play a significant parentingernment comprise our Advisory Panel.$20.00 a year. Send letters, comments role in their children's lives. Children Material in this newsletter authoredand articles fin- publication to Editor, need grandparents, step-parents andby CRC may be reprinted without per-CRC.

OFFICERS AND BOARD NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS: ADVISORS Larry Gaughan, Professional MEMBERS Gerald A. Braman, Rabbi Mendel Abrams, D.Min. Director David L Levy, Esq. President Academic Education, Former President, Board of Rabbis Family Mediation of Greater John L. Bauserman, Jr., Chairman Maryland and North Carolina of Greater Washington, DC Washington, D.C. Samuel A. Brunelli, CEO Judge Eugene N. Hamilton (ret'd), Eloise Anderson Jonathan M. Goodson, President Ingrid Bough-Bell the Judiciary, The Claremont Institute Mark Goodson Productions John L Bauserman, Sr. Washington, D.C. Sacnunento, California Los Angeles, California Teresa L Kaiser, J.D. Judge Richard A. Waldron (ret'd) Elisabeth Hickey, M.S.W., David Bimey, Actor Hon. Bob Graham Lee Yarborough Parenting Education, Santa Monica, California U.S. Senator (D-FL) Salt Lake City, Utah Hon. Sherwood Boehlert Jennifer Isham, President HONORARY PRESIDENT Jayne A. Major, Ph.D., U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Mothers Without Custody (MW/ Catherine Meyer, author, Breakthrough Parenting, Jim Cook, President OC) wife of the British Los Angeles Joint Custody Association Crystal Lake, Illinois Ambassador to the U.S. Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author, Los Angeles, California Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. Tulsa, OK 'Dear Abby" Vice-President, California Dispute GENERAL COUNSEL Resolution Institute, Corte Mailers Michael L Oddenino Wes Unseld, VP Washington (Abigail Van Buren) Arcadia, California Wizards, Member, NBA Hall of Los Angeles, California Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. Fame, Parenting Education, Karen DeCrow Author, Psychiatrist DIR. OF CHILD ACCESS Washington, D.C. Former President of N.O.W. Scottsdale, Arizona SERVICES Audrey Wise, Ed.D., M.A., Jamescille, New York Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Alfred Ellis Family Counselor/Mediator, Elliott H. Diamond Deephaven, Minnesota New York City Co-Founder, CRC James Levine, The Fatherhood OFFICE MANAGER Reston, Virginia Project Julie Maggiacomo EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Phyllis Diller, Comedienne The Family and Work Institute John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Lou Angeles, California New York, New York CHILD SPOKESPERSON: D. Richard Kuhn Hadassah Luther, age 13 Margorie Engel, President Hon. Debbie Stabennw U.S. Senator(D-MI) FAMILY ADVISORY BOARD Stepfamily Association of America GRANDPARENT Chairman, Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author Hon. Fred Thompson SPOKESPERSONS: Clifton Alan Clark, Sr. former Member of the Board of U.S. Senator (R-TN) Ernie Ashworth, Member, Grand former CRC Director of Directors, New York City N.O.W. Ole Opry, and Bettye Ashworth Development Leucadia, California Page 2 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001

BEST COPY AVAILABLE Research Extended Overnights by Infants with the Other Parent Are O.K. by Joan 13. Kelly, Ph.D., and Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D.

Exceipted from Family and Concili-& 'Thompson, 1997). though toddlers who spent overnights ation Courts Review, Volume 18, No. Research and experience with infantwith both their fathers and mothers were 3,July 2000, pp. 297-311, copyright 2000day care, early preschool, and othernot significantly more likely to have in- Sage Publications, Inc., by permission ofstable caretaking arrangements indicatesecure relationships than those children Sage Publications, Inc. that infants and toddlers readily adaptwho did not have overnights visits with CRC agrees with almost all oftheto such transitions and also sleep well,both parents. .statementsmade in this important article. once familiarized. Indeed, a child also Indeed, as articulated above, there thrives socially, emotionally, andis substantial evidence regarding die With the historic focus on preserv-cognitively if the caretaking arrange-benefits of these regular experiences. ing the mother-infant attachment whilements are predictable and if parents areAside from maintaining and deepening establishing an exclusive home, over-both sensitive to the child's physical andattachments, overnights provide chil- nights or extended visits with the otherdevelopmental needs and emotionallydren with a diversity of social, emo- parent (mostly the father) were long tiff-available (Horner & Guyer, 1993; tional, and cognitively stimulating expe- bidden or strongly discouraged byLamb, 1998). riences that promote adaptability and judges, custody evaluators, therapists, The evening and overnight periodshealthy development. mental health professionals, family law(like extended (lays with nap times) with In addition, meaningful father-child attorneys, and, not surprisingly, by manynonresidential parents are especiallyrelationships may encourage fathers to mothers (e.g. Garrity & Basis, 1992;important psychologically not only forremain involved in their children's lives Goldstein, Freud, & Solnit, 1973;infants but for toddlers and young chil-by making them feel enfranchised as Goldstein, Freud, Solnit & Goldstein, dren as well. parents. 1986). Hodges, 1991, for example, Evening and overnight periods pro- Other advantages of overnights are stated that for infants younger than 6vide opportunities fbr crucial social in-the normal combination of leisure and months, "overnight visits are not likelyteractions and nurturing activities, in-"real" time that extended parenting af- to be in the child's best interest, becausecluding bathing, soothing hurts andfords, the ability to stay abreast of die infants' eating and sleeping arrangements anxieties, bedtime rituals, comforting inconstant and complex changes in the should be as stable as possible" (p.17.5).the middle of the night, and the reas-child's development, opportunities fir For infants 6 to 18 months or age, over-surance and security of snuggling in the effective discipline and teaching that are night visits "should be considered lessmorning after awakening, that 1-to 2-central to good parenting, and opportu- than desirable" (p.170). hour visits cannot provide. These ev-nities to reconnect with the child in a Although Hodges noted the impor-eryday activities promote and maintainmeaningful way. tance of several visits per week for oldertrust and confidence in the parents In contrast, brief, 2 -hour visits re- infants who were attached to their fa-while deepening and strengtheningmind infants that the visiting parents ex- thers, he recommended that these bechild-parent attachments. ist but (10 not provide the broad array of limited to several hours. Hodges stated parenting activities that anchor the rela- that children might be able to spendAbsolutely no Evidence oftionships in their minds. overnights "without harm" only after Harm to Children from When mothers are breast-feeding, reaching 3 years of age (p.177). Overnights with Other there is considerable hesitation, indeci- Such unnecessarily restrictive and Parent sion, and perhaps strong maternal resis- prescriptive guidelines were not based tance regarding extended overnight or on child development research and thus There is absolutely no evidence thatfull-day separations. Breast-feeding is reflected an outdated view of parent-children's psychological adjustment orobviously one of the important contexts child relationships. Further, such recom-the relationships between children andin which attachments are promoted, al- mendations did not take in to accounttheir parents are harmed when childrenthough it is by no means an essential the quality of father-child relationships,spend overnight periods with their othercontext Indeed, there is no evidence that the nature of both parents' involvement,parents. An often mis-cited study bybreast-fed babies form closer or more or the child's need to maintain andSolomon (1997) reported high levels ofsecure relationships to their parents than strengthen relationships with both par-insecure infant-mother and infant-father ents after separation (Lamb, Sternberg,attachment when parents lived apart, al- Continued on page 4 Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 3

BEST COPY AVAILABLE 131 Extended OvernightsMaccoby & Mnookin, 1992), it is pref.- more cooperative attitudes to warrant erable that transitions be accomplished more extended contact. Continued from page 3 without overt conflict. However, it is It should be assumed that parents important to understand how high con-would have somewhat different Not Crucial that Both flict is conceptualized in the relevant re-parenting styles, which are related to Residences be the Same searc, as the findings are often misun-their own upbringing and personalities. When there are overnights, it is notderstood. Almost by definition, ofRegardless of those differences, children crucial that two residential beds or envi-course, custody and access disputes in-(and parents) benefit from discussions ronments be the same, as infants adaptvolve conflict, but it is clear that suchof disciplinary techniques and ap- quickly to these differences. It may beconflict in and of itself is not necessarily proaches as well as about the achieve- more important that feeding and sleepharmful. ment of major developmental tasks such routines be similar in each household The high conflict found harmful by as toilet training. Furthermore, children to ensure stability. Thus, parents shouldresearchers such asJohnston (1994) typi-will typically have different social expe- share information about bed times andcally involved repeated incidents of spou- riences (and holiday rituals) with each rituals, night awakenings, food prefer-sal violence and verbal aggression con-parent and with extended families and ences and feeding schedules, effectivetinued at intense levels for extended pe-friends. practices for soothing, illnesses, andriods of time and often in front of the Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D., is a clinical and changes in routine as the child matures.children. Johnston emphasized the im-research psychologist, assistant clinical Parents should be encouraged by at-portance of continued relationships withprofessor at the University of California torneys or mediators to communicateboth parents except in those relativelyat San Francisco, and was previously di- directly, either verbally or in writing. Ifuncommon circumstances in which in-rector of the Northern California Me- this is not possible due to the intransi-tense, protracted conflict occurs. thadon Center. She has published exten- gence of either or both parents, then the High conflict at the time of transitionsively in the area of divorce and courts should order the involvement ofmay heighten children's anxiety aboutchildren's adjustment, custody and ac- co-parenting consultants, special mas-separation. Even without conflict, tran- cess, and custody and divorce mediation. ters, or custody mediators until the nor-sitions can cause unsettled behavior, fret-She is an advisor to CRC mal angers of divorce subside (Emery,ting, and crying as children move from Michael E. Lamb Ph.D., is head of 1994, 1999; Kelly, 1991, 1994). one set of routines or one parental stylethe Section on Social and Emotional It is important as well to recognizeto another. As noted above, this is espe- Development at the National Institute of that protracted litigation and the spectercially true of children 15 to 24 months Child Health and Human Development of winning or losing delay the decline ofof age, when it is quite normal. in Maryland. He has published exten- conflict (Maccoby & Mnookin, 1992), sively in the child development literature, thus, such disputes should be resolved If High Conflict Exists, with a focus on parent-child relation- with speed. Furthermore, communica- Children Can be ships, nonparendd child care, and !Oren- tion quality should not be judged from Exchanged at Neutral sic interview processes. the level of conflict surrounding and Places encouraged by the litigation. The challenges of child-focused If conflict is difficult to avoid because CRC Needs communication require commitment onof one or both parents' hostility, then the parents' part to their children's well-transitions should be implemented by * Free or reduced rent office being but will have long-term positivebabysitters or should take place at neu- space. Get a tax write-off as consequences for children and for eachtral places such as day care centers, spe- you help kids and CRC. of the parent-child relationships. Al-cial visiting centers set up for this pur- 2,000 square feet or more though it is clear that a cooperative rela-pose, or supportive grandparents' anywhere in the Washing- tionship between parents is beneficial,homes. ton, D.C. area (Maryland, parenting schedules that promote mean- Occasionally, mothers are very hos- D.C. or Virginia). ingful cluld-parent relationships shouldtile to fathers after separation as part of not be restricted after separation if onea legal strategy to prevent or diminish * Volunteers to help with fil- or both parents are not able to cooper-the fathers' participation in child rearing, phone calls, and writ- ate. Disengaged parents may functioning and co-parenting. In such instances, ing letters. effectively in their parallel domains and,fathers should not be denied adequate in so doing, enhance their children'scontact with their children because con- * Our chapters need com- adjustment (Lamb et al., 1997; Maccobyflict between the parents exists. puters and office space. & Mnookin, 1992; Whiteside, 1998). Similarly, when fathers berate moth- * Lawyers to write CRC Am- Because high conflict is associateders at transitions or refuse to communi- icus Briefs on appeal. with poorer child outcomes followingcate about the infants' behaviors when divorce (Johnston, 1994; Kelly, in press;with them, they will need to demonstrate Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001 132 Special Masters Program Induces Cooperation by Highly Conflicted Parents

of conflict, and are chronic litigators not necessarily incompatible. Runs Program towhose children pay the price fin this Encourage Child conflict Case of Unseen Persons Access between Special Masters staffing and proce- Because conflict has been heavy and Highly Conflicteddures vary program to program. How- ever, they are generally supervised bychronic prior to attending Special Mas- Parents judges and have a high success rate. ters program, there is usually a cast of If parents are unable or unwilling tounseen persons involved. When help- Kim Frey utilize the Special Masters program, fam-ful and strategically necessary, children, In New York, theily courts will make a family law deci-grandparents, attorneys, and law guard- operative court case, Braiman v.sion unilaterally. The CRC New Yorkians become part of the process. Parents Braiman (1978) states that if parents areState chapter has conducted this pro-are educated as to the nature of the legal significantly conflicted, they cannot sharegram in Broome and Tioga Counties, system and how its characteristic of com- custody. It does not matter if a parent iswith the unique staff combination of apetitiveness is often hurtful to resolving purposely sabotaging cooperation; suchhighly skilled mediation and mental helpfamily conflicts. behavior destroys the opportunity forprofessional. shared parenting, according to this case. Parenting Plan 'co counter this criticism, programs Education have been established to show that highly An important feature of the program conflicted parents can learn to cooper- Because of the high conflict, the par-is to codify the parents' agreement in die ate in the upbringing of their child. Theents are usually seen separately, not to-firm of a "Parenting Plan" that can be key is education. gether. Each parent is asked about his/reviewed by the parents' attorneys and Mr. Kim Boedecker-Frey, CRC Co-her agenda, receives education about thesubmitted to the Family Court to be ordinator for New York State, has beenchild's need for reduced level of conflictmade a Stipulation and Order. administering a Special Master's Pro-and a solid relationship with each par- gram fin highly conflicted parents fin theent, and is given feedback on the func- Monitoring past two years. The program is con-tional and dysfunctional aspects of his/ Equally important is the monitoring ducted from a Child Access (visitation)I ter personality, style, and agenda items. grant provided by the New York State provision of the program. Parents are encouraged to contact the Special Mas- Child Support Office, which oversees Parents arc Encouraged toters if they believe any aspect of their New York's portion of the federal ac- be Flexible, Not "My WayParenting Plan has been violated, re- cess funds to the states. The grant pro- or the Highway" quires clarification, or needs to be al- vided 832,000 fin each of the past two years to run the program. Parents are encouraged to adopt atered. Special Masters respond to re- CRC is sorry to be losing Kimflexible position, rather than rely on aquests for intervention quickly and offer accountability for parents who may Boedecker-Frey as CRC New York State rigid stance. One universal observation be making efforts to improve their be- coordinator. Kim has been a bulwark formade by the Special Masters is the low havior. Effective means of communica- child advocacy in New York for the pastlevel of problem solving skills many par- five years, but he has long planned toents bring to the program. Much atten-tion between parents is taught However, because the Parenting Plans help estab- leave to pursue educational goals. tion is given to the introduction of solu- Befiffe his leaving, we asked Kim to tion focused models of problem solving. lish firm boundaries between the par- describe the New York program that heEffort is made to have all parties "readents, the need for frequent communication is reduced. developed. It is a model that can be usedfrom the same page." in other states, to help children and fami- Time is given to clarifying what each lies. Here is Kim's description of theparent wants and reaching a consensus Solutions to Criticism of program. as to what parents can and cannot agree Mediation to. It is common to find that because parents have been using attorneys or shout- Some women's groups have criti- Special Mediation Service ing at each other, they have not sharedcized mediation, fearing that an aggres- sive ex partner might dominate the me- Special Masters programs exist intheir agendas with each other. When they several states as a specialized mediation hear what each wants via the Special Mas- service for parents who have a high levelters, they frequently find their goals are Continued on page 6 Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 5

BEST COPY AVAHABL1E

1 Masters Program Collaborative LawA Better Way Continued from page 5 by TOM Gordon

diation process. In truth, gender is not Excerpted with permission from the Winter 2001 Legal Reformer, a news- the issue in considering this concern. letter published by HALT (Help Abolish Legal Tyranny). HALT is a non- Any parent whose personality or style is profit legal rein= group at 1612 K Street N.W, Suite .510, Washington, D.C. characterized by passivity, lack of 20005, phone 1-888-4-HALT, email; [email protected] assertiveness or reliance on others can feel at a disadvantage. Nearly half of all marriages end up in divorce court. As anyone knows who has been involved in a messy divorce case, traditional divorce court proceed- Solutions for Family ings are drawn-out, expensive, and emotionally draining for all family mem- Violence Concerns bers involved. Compounding the problem are divorce lawyers who fight tooth and nail to If the issue of family violence is raised, get the biggest piece of the pie for their clients, no matter what the financial and mediation is bypassed or suspended un- human costs. til the issue is addressed and dealt with On the rare occasions when parties (10 settle a divorce case out of court, it by the courts. At that point, mediation is often in the shadow of a trial under conditions of considerable tension and may or may not be pursued, depending anxiety. In a divorce with significant assets, the cost of the divorce can range on the finding of the court as to the ap- from $60,000 to $100,000. propriateness of mediation. The state of 'foday there's a better way to deal with irretrievably broken marriages. It's Maine has successfully dealt with this culled Collaborative Law. Pioneered in Califbmia, collaborative law allows both problem for more than 15 years. In spouses to retain separate, specially trained lawyers whose job is to help them Maine, mediation is mandated by statute. settle the dispute witImut court intervention. Neither side may go to court or Numerous studies show that children even threaten to (10 so. If such an action or threat occurs, the process terminates (io best when they have the support and and both lawyers are disqualified from any further involvement in the case. love of both fit parents. New York's tra- This year HALT will launch a national campaign to expand the availability of ditional approach of reliance on the "one collaborative law. "We're very excited alxiut tliis promising innovation," said HALT size fits all" problem solving system Executive DirectorJim Turner. "We will work with lawyers and consumers across (Family Court) induces a parentectomy the country to make collaborative law the rule rather than the exception." the removal of a parent from a child's The first collaborative law project was sponsored by the Superior Court in lifeshould there be conflict. San Francisco. As presiding Family Law Judge Donna J. Hitchens explains, In an era of complex social change, the program has been a tremendous success. "It's good fir the courts, it's good this "one size fits all" approach serves for the litigants, it's good for their children, arid it's good for the community. few. New York needs to develop and This is a system that empowers people to resolve their own disputes, and to do make available systematic, multiple it in a more creative and more lasting manner than has ever been achieved by problem solving mechanisms that serve court order." families. The parties to a divorce negotiated through the collaborative process have (CRC Note: In a study of two juris- also expressed satisfaction with the procedure and the results. Sherry Rasmussen, dictions in different parts of the country who recently hired a collaborative lawyer in Minnesota, said, "I'm getting the conducted several years ago by the As- support I need to make sure I'm being taken care of, and it gives me the strength sociation of Family and Conciliation to communicate what I need to my husband. Yet I'll be able to compromise." Courts (AFCC), it was !numd that me- HALT will study California's successful collaborative law programs, as well diation could be successfully conducted as the collaborative law practices currently in effect in several other states, in- in some cases involving family violence. cluding Minnesota, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Texas. It will try to expand col- That is, mediation was not precluded laborative law programs in those states, as well as promote them in other states. because there was family violence. For (CRC Thanks Maryland CRC Coordinator Harvey Walden for bringing more information, contact the AFCC in this to CRC's attention). Madison, WI at 608/664-3750.

Award Winning Program for Salc

Don Gorden, Ph.D. and Jackeducation was so good, CRC gave it aning to run his CD-ROM company, Arbuthnot, Ph.D. are retiring from theActive Parenting Award several yearsFamily Works, in Ashland; Jack is Ohio University and selling their Cen-ago. The parenting video, which pro-retiring from teaching to become a ter for Divorce Education. See adver-motes shared parenting, is used in moregentleman farmer raising highland tisement elsewhere in this newsletter. than 800 court systems in the U.S. beef on his arm outside Athens. The Center's video on parenting Don Gordon is retiring from teach-

Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001

3 _ BEST COPY AVAILABLE 14 74e GAG l/Ceui 4 Dav ot ..deack g.D. Puddea, ewe

Levy Welfare Reform Can Strengthen Families

Remember welfare reform? It wasguardianship, or the father of a childstate-run programs. introduced by House Republicans andmight be willing to provide child care CRC has been working with the : signed into law by President Clintonwith or without a change of custody whilefaith-based community, because all of in 1996. It was designed to end wel-the mother works, or grandparents mightour "Safe Haven" sites for children are fare entitlement, by setting strict timebe willing to care for their grandchildlocated in church day care centers. limits on how long a parent could oh-while the adolescent mother completes We are increasingly involving taro welfare usually a maximum ofschool or works. churches and synagogues in the run- five years, and then you had to have a Expansion of the access (visitation) ning of portions of the programs, while job.o grants is one inexpensive way to CRC provides over-all management. Welfare reauthorization is comingstrengthen 2-parent contact and provide The states which rho the best job : up in 2002, and so it is time to take amore resources for the child. of accomplishing the goals of welfare look at what welfare reform has accom- reform qualify for extra federal bo- plished, and what's left for it to do. Access Grants Were nuses worth up to $100 million a year. The Children's Rights Council has But CRC has concluded that most : been interested in welfare reform be- Part of Welfare states do not know how to encourage cause we think the right kind of refiirm Reform family formation and family preserva- could strengthen families through edu- tion. More of us need to contact our cation and assistance to children of The Welfare Reform law providesstate officials to offer programs that separation and divorce. CRC pub-$10 million a year for all 50 states and will accomplish those goals. States can fished an 8 page booklet in 199.5 thatterritories to share in encouraging con-obtain extra bonuses, and we can have : made more than a dozen suggestionstact between a child and his/her non-stronger families. for reform, including encouragementcustodial parent. The average state re- Note: Send Jar the CRC Welfare of a work ethic. "Except for the smallceives about $185,000 a year. We areReform booklet. Free to members; number of people who are genuinely now in the fourth year of 'Milling for thatnon-members, send $5 for S/H. : unable to make any contribution tochild access program. At $10 million a their own needs, welfare must be ayear, 4 years add up to a nice tidy sum : supplement, not a substitute, forof $40 million dollars. This is the largest work," said CRC. federal government program that has CRC and our tern We argued for more two-parentever existed to encourage child and non- involvement in federal programs, andcustodial parent contact. States have need grant and proposal care of children by kin. We asked thatbeen using the $40 million to provide writers. welfare workers be required to look tomediation (both mandatory and volun- a capable and willing family membertary), counseling of parents, parenting as a care provider for children livingeducation, parenting plans, and neutral on the welfare dole. We said familydrop-off and pick-up of children centers members providing child care wouldand supervised visitation centers. CRC Important Phone constitute a positive step toward break-recommends an increase in funding for Number ing the cycle of dependency and re-these programs as a part of welfare re- The phone number for the dining the economic burden of pro-authorization. Congresttonal ,,Avitltboaril, viding benefits when family care is Some states have worked with non- which will reat )1 all office,' arid available. profit organizations like CRC or other committers, IN (202) 225-3121. For example, a brother might becommunity-based organizations to carry able to care for a child of a drug abuserout these programs. Other states have with or without a change of custody/given all their money to the courts or to

Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 7 135 BEST COPYAVAIIIABILIE New CD Country Music Artists Continued from page I who appear on the CRC CD "Ernie Ashworth and Alan of Georgia, Darren Rhodes of Friends Speak Out for the Alabama, and Haddassh of New York. Children's Rights Keith Bradford (singer as well as owner Council" of KMA Records), Anna Prince, Al lie Front row (1 to r): Sharon E., Vicki Leigh and Charlotte Bradf.ord, Brooks, Hadassah, Anna are from various parts of Tennessee. Prince; Rear: Darren Rhodes, Marc Smith, Lori Alan, Ernie Ashworth, Vicki CD Release Party in Leigh, Charlotte Bradford, Nashville Was a Allie C. and Keith Bradford Terrific Event ikaavAnAtattam "The CD release party in Nashville was much bigger than I expected," said 000%4 iessratb*,4:1474ra0 reaitssa *too-4:g '',Isikitacr,corcksorivc *.`~,''.9:, ,,...... Ohio CRC Coordinator Margaret 3:/wgezcss be& 4/as' I P.A.441hz,.. Wuwert. "More than 200 artists, their feat i 04 4 4 4 44 .4. .4 .4 families, and supporters showed up. .. s/ tx This was a terrific event." ..' .... ASY.e.$ .4.< i[ ..,'k ...vo.stx, Harvey Walden, Maryland CRC 4.44.4 "/.. , Ct', / .4 / ..' coordinator, who also attended, said, 4 ik,R1 "This is a highly professional CD that a ..:"."*". ., 44'4""xSt A'' KMA records has produced." .4., ,Y14 > .4 4 4.'44 .. 0., David Courson, CRC coordinator of .././",*.:04:4:$< , w Tennessee, said he was "impressed" with , the professionalism of the country music artists. CRC President David L. Levy also attended the Nashville release of the CD, The front and back of the new CD. and said, "We are delighted that country music artists have decided to supportCarlson; Jimmy and Lorraine Smart oftheir "Humanitarian Award" to Keith children and CRC." Nashville Video Showcase; Charlie Ray Bradford and Jean Massengale in an Jean Massengale especially had been of the International Country Music As-emotional ceremony at the CD release working hard behind the scenes to bringsociation; Anna Prince and her daugh- party. artists together for about 12 months, butter Sandy; Jason Hawkins and Jennifer KMA Records and Country Music did not tell the national CRC office aboutFox of Airplay International; and DanWebs arranged fin- a full page ad in the her plans until the idea was a reality. Wunsch of the Nashville Music Guide. Nashville Music Guide for Ernie "If I had told anyone what I was try- Anna Prince hosts a communityAshworth and Friends, and will have lim- ing to do, they would have thought I wasnews TV show "Real Heroes of Coun-ited supplies of copies at the CRC con- crazy," said Massengale, whose friendstry Music" and is in development of theference. call her "Sarge." show "Future Heroes of Country Mu- Individual copies of the CD may be Massengale got involved with CRCsic" on Nashville's CATV Channel 19. ordered online at www.gocrc.com, or by in 1994, "when the late, great SonnyAnna interviewed Keith Bradford, writing to the national CRC office at 300 Burmeister, CRC Georgia coordinator,Hadassah, Courson and Levy on March"I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, helped me in the process of gaining cus- 17 on the "Real Heroes of Country Mu-D.C. 20002. The price is $12 per CD, tody of my grandchild, when the parentssic" TV show. It aired multiple times onincluding S/H. were unable to take care of their chil-CATV channel 19 the following week. Bulk orders of 6 or more CD's are dren," she said. After going through the WSM650, the national Grand Ole$10 per CD, including S/H. illness and death of her husband, sheOpry Radio station (www.6.50wsm.com) KMA Records can be readied at 2,56 decided to help CRC. also interviewed Bradford, HadassahEast Old Hickory Kitty Wells Blvd, CRC thanks: Keith Bradford'sand Levy as well, and Alan Dennis re-Madison, TN 3711.5, phone (615) 612- brother Michael, the engineer of the CDplayed the interview multiple times over 3899, or at 14WW.KMArecords.com Ad- album; Keith Bilbry and Alan Dennis ofthe weekend. ditional infiwmation can be obtained at WSB6,50 radio; Bill Bailey; Carole Hall; AirplayInternational's Jasonwww.TNcrc.com for CRC chapters, or Kriste Barfield; guest artist DavidHawkins and Jennifer Fox presented by sending email to [email protected] Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001 136 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Around the Country

Wade Horn Appointed ington, D.C.'s two daily newspapers. and PKPA language by omitting some to a Top HHS Job At each of NH's national confer-changes and exceptions that the ences the past few years, there have been UCCJEA makes. speakers on divorce and custody issues. (UCCJEA Section 102 ) Will Oversee psychologist Dick Mikesell is speaking DEFINITIONS. "Abandoned" Child Support in 2001. definition (Subsection 4) should NFI received a special Congressional be omitted. It is unnaturally appropriation 483.5 million at the end overbroad. Present Act uses the of the Congressional session in Decem- term without a special definition, Horn ber, 2000 for a nationwide media cam- and that has worked perfectly. paign to promote fatherhood. Used in applying the extremely Wade F. Horn, Ph.D. has been broad "emergency" exception to nominated by President Bush to be as- all of the Act's other jurisdiction sistant secretary of Health and Human States Urged to Modify limitations. Services for Family Support. Horn, who Ncw Uniform Child (UCCJEA SECTION 202 ) and president of the National Father- (UCCJEA) EXCLUSIVE CONTINUING hood Initiative (NFI) since 1996, will JURISDICTION. Omit take office as soon as his appointment is[Compiled from The National Corder- ence of Commissioners on Unifinin Subsection (A)(1). Makes statute confirmed by the U.S. Senate. fearsomely and unnecessarily Tommy Thompson is secretary ofState Laws website and from recommen- complex, for no supportable HHS, and under him is a Deputy Sec-dations from Richard Crouch, Esq., reason, works against overall intent retary, below which are several assistantEditor, Virginia State Bar Family Law l'Kl'Ato secretaries, one of whom would beSection Newsletter.] of UCCJA and discourage child snatching through Wade Horn. clear, objective rules. Defeats As assistant secretary of HHS for A proposal to revise the 1968 Uni- supposed intent to conform Family Support, Horn would have juris-form Child CustodyJurisdiction Actwas UCCJA to PKPA. diction over the Administration for Chil-completed in 1997 by the Uniform Law (UCCJEA Section 204 ) would also be in charge of the Office of Emergency Jurisdiction. Very Child Support Enfbrcement, low incomePrevention Act. The act is intended to good overall, but wording needs housing energy assistance program, and limit child custody jurisdiction to one care to avoid unintended results. the administration on Native Americans.state, and provides enforcement provi- (UCCJEA Section 209 ) Proposalon Ross held that post during the Clintonthe Act: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Ar- information required to be years. kansas, California, Colorado, Connecti- submitted with every initial The mission of the National Father-cut, District of Columbia, Idaho, Iowa, hood Initiative is "to improve theKansas, Maine, Minnesota, Montana, pleading. The drafting Commissioners bracketed this wellbeing of children by increasing theNorth Carolina, North Dakota, Okla- language to show that it was not number of children growing up with in-homa, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, necessarily recommended. volved, committed and responsible hi-Virginia, and West Virginia. Because it allows an interstate tilers in their lives." 2001 introductions include: Florida, abductor of children to keep die Horn was a member of the U.S.Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, and child's location and abduction Advisory Committee on Head Start Re- Maryland. history secret, and rewrites a search and Evaluation within HHS from Overall, CRC strongly supports en- concept that has worked well in die 1989 to 1993. He is the author of nu-acting the UCCJEA. However, we sug- merous journals, articles and severalgest that states adopt the bill with the past, care must be taken with language. present books, and writes a weekly column fin-following changes. All of these sugges- The Washington Times, one of Wash-tions would preserve existing UCCJA Continued 011 page 10 Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 9 13 Around the Country

Confirmed lion, page 9 Divorced Mother. Drops Online Parenting Request unnecessarily broad and vague wording works against the overall by Leslie Brody. Stall Writer intent of UCCJA and PKPA to comrh,virr 2001 Noah ferses .11edm Group, Inc discourage child snatching. Reproduced with permission. Legitimate ends can he served with tighter language. A dicorced Midland Park mother who sought court, perrinssion to HICIve (UCCJEA Section 305 Sed using the Inteniet to bolster:C.i.iiiiiinutit4tion:.be- patriotnetr crouch/uccjea/ tweeit her daughter and ex-husband has decided to star here after all. 305.html> ) Ilia' Iiilier hattlinightthe long-disiancenove, and the. At° parents r- REGISTRATION. Present solVed their dispute.:laSt nititithliefore hieing aintffir trial...,.Attorner Chitties system is easy and economical. Ryan..:wItii:tepreserited:tlie mother. KTon11C31.11-1.-CC,Sciiil that Site found a New one is just the opposite, and noYcontputer job in Nevriersey and.thenrlropped her request to relocitte coninses enforcement procedures Stith :14r f)-yettr-old daughter. with subject-matter jurisdiction The litit,,ation attracted a flurry of media attention_ in January, when an decisions. Appellate l)ivisioittaitel praised lienn-Lee's :::N reauN e" suggestion. a Web (UCCJEA Section 110 ) tions.',flic,p;iiiel told 4Bergen Colin' y judge to reetinsiderff to COMMUNICATION heiltion a ihil;a1011 sdi dub.. that would let the BETWEEN JUDGES. Parenting groupsexpressecJdismitytttffie.iprospecttliat the:::.courtstnight Mandatory judge-to-judge `start to consitler:'VirtttajVtsitatioit7::t6:b8:tinVthing akin' time. communication is a key part of the Some therapists said sonic Children might entoy such electronic contact as 4,1 UCCJA/PK1'A system, deals with addition to in- person visits, but it should not be considered a replacement. substance ofjwisdiction decisions Henn I it. said sliei.5yttnted to move to pursue a better - paying job with efficiently. flexible hoUrs in California. but the opportunity she fOund here made this (UCCJEA Section 108 ) METHODS OF business NOTICE. The language of (CRC note: CRCI'residenr David L wds quoted in ittiiikoti44sso- UCCJA, 2 20-108(A)(2a) states: .: timed Press story . gridiiiiiiiiiiiiiii on (.13S Eiviting Weekend Nreii'S:::itijaiituiry "Notice may also be by certified staling that tchnology...mei, as:mail. phone and websites ;honld he used to or registered mail, return receipt N.sist with contact. but they cannot take the piaceota child's actual Wile requested, addressed to the Tent With :I Initent% We :rte Ciriighteri With tilt' brCatitie.:it.:(/t;h1Q11- person to be served. The new Act shriitt% that a parent can 1.1A11;dil" 1111a a j01) close to parent tolocal attempts todefer litc-s it11c: she Ines haul enough. F.'s end the Joh ilocsit.t.p..-t) asittnich as one procedures, but inadvertently likt's.:thel loss Lila 4.111107.S'eltisc tout parentii..i.::fiti:nii;a: e:Vii71.5111 repeals procedures currently in pace:10.par. lion: mothers and lathers should star' in:the:.;5;1111C geographic use. areitsthrptiter patent). (UCCJEA Section 106 ) BINDING FORCE OF A CUSTODY DECISION. This says a custody decree of any Beat the 'lax Man: Change of Address statewhichproperlyhad Contribute to CRC jurisdiction will remain binding To keep newsletters and other Keep working fOr children. If you until modified. This would be fine materials coming, please notify wish to consider leaving a bequest if it just said until modified by a CRC three weeks in advance of or property to CRC, please state any address change. Send old court properly having jurisdiction, the following in your will: "I under the standards of this statute, and new addresses to CRC, 300 hereby leave the following to the which is what the UCCJA says. Children'sRightsCouncil: "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, _____(state your bequest)_." Washington, DC 20002.

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AVAILABLE 138 BEST COPY Chapter News

David Dinn Coordinator dial parent He said Bev Musseter hasfreelance flight instructor, usually out of Emeritus for Indiana been an excellent stepmother to theCuyahoga County (Cleveland) airport. Dinn children, David, Katie, andHe has .suffered frequent denials of ac- D a v i(1 Robbie. cess to his daughter, Riley, age 2. The Dinn, longtime "David Dinn has provided continu-chapter is assisted by Bob Moline, who CRC coordina-ing and earnest leadership in the move-has helped publicize their work, Jill tor for Indiana,ment to provide children with two par-Koman, a non-custodial mother who has hasbecomeents whenever possible," said Levy. "Weobtained meeting space at her local Pres- Coordinatorthank him." byterian church, and Leah Turri, who Emeritus. writes a guest column for the Star-Bea- David was ac-Bob Monday New Indianacon in Ashtabula, OH. The new chap- Dinn (r) and Musseter tive in custody Coordinator ter plans to develop a website and place refrirm in Indi- "disruptive, but positive" billboard signs. ana starting in 1983, befbre CRC began Bob Monday is in 1985. David led his organization, Par- the new CRC Coor- ents and Children Equality, into CRC dinator for Indiana Marlin Pierce Opens as a chapter in 1992. He organized sub- Monday is a long-First-Ever Albany Chapter groups and held meetings in ,5 different time advocate for Marlin Pierce, In(thura comities. Now, he continues to the 2-parent family. who has been work- provide consultation to groups in Indi- "Heissowell ing for custody re- ana and to national CRC. trusted that he sits form for 17 years, Dinn was instrumental in creating the Monday on the Domestic primuily as an activ- Indiana Custody and Child Support Relations Commit- ist in the Fathers Committee, of which he was a chartertee meetings of the Indiana Judiciary Rights Association of member. The Committee, a part of theCenter, which consists of 13 judges who New York State, has state legislature, recommended severaldevelop financial and parenting guide- Pierce fin-riled a CRC chap- changes which became part of Indianalines," said David Dinn, Coordinator ter in die Albany area law, including making it a criminal vio-Emeritus for Indiana. of New York. This is the first-ever CRC lation to deny visitation. It has been "I just started going to the courtchapter in the New York State capital. nearly impossible to get prosecutors tohouse and hanging around, until they got "In New York State, we need many enforce the law, but there has been someto know me," said Monday. changes in divorce law," said Pierce. success when prosecutors have sent a A provision recommended by the"The divorce legal process is devastat- letter to the custodial parent informingCouncil, which went into effect oning on the lives of every person involved, them of the law. "We have had a num-March 31, states that there shall be fre-the mother, the father, and, of course ber of parents thank us On behalf ofquent and continuing contact betweenthe children. In New York State we have themselves and their children becausechildren and their parents. "For the firstvery little joint custody, and only a to- they were able to see their children as atime, this is a rebuttable presumption forken mediation program. Because we do result of the letters sent to the custodialshared parenting in Indiana, and it is anot have mandatory mediation, few parents from the prosecutors," saidstatewide policy," said Monday. people complete their divorce with the Dinn. mediation process. This must change." "1 enjoyed the continuing friendships James Welty Opens Marlin has 2 children, Jody and Ja- that have developed from my work in First-Ever Northeast son. CRC. I urge other individuals to partici- Ohio Chapter Nancy Rexford, a computer pro- pate in the 2-parent movement, because grammer, is among the chapter advisors. in die long run, it is extremely reward- James Welty ing," said Dinn. has formed a new Continued on pagr 24 Dinn was one of the first individuals CRC chapter in to receive funding for work on custody Northwest Ohio, A&ertisenient reform issuesa grant from die Eli Lilly the first ever in that Family Psyclialcrety...F(Irensic Endowment, one of the largest fiiunda- part of Ohio. Jim is (Sireckilizing- in bons in the country. a corporate flyer of David has seen both sides of the turboprops and cor- Co rt:tct... S. R.ichrisd &tuber, aisle, as both a custodial and noncusto- Wetly porate jets, and is a 561/750,9200

Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 11

139 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Court Cases Parents Cannot Modify Support Agreements as Children Come of Age from an article hy Arlo Wagner, the Washington Times, March 27, 2001

Parents cannot decide on their ownthe modification is made," Judgesider the age of the children. They to reduce child support payments whenAnnunziata wrote. should also consider continuing child their children reach age 18, but must In a dissenting opinion, Judge support until the child completes high return to court to obtain a change in theW. Benton Jr. said the ruling under-school. child support order, a Virginia Courtmines a previous policy that encourages We have heard of this problem in ruled Feb. 27, 2001. ex-spouses to work out their differencesother states, e.g., CRC Maryland coordi- The American Fathers Coalition saysvoluntarily. The ruling, he said, gave di-nator Harvey Walden was required to file the decision provides lawyers with morevorced parents no choice but to returna modification request in court to end the money and judges with too much intru-to court. child support transfer to his daughter's sive power. "If people have to keep going back, mother when the daughter reached age "It's the Lawyers Full Employmentall the money that should be spent on 18, and had finished high school. Act," said Stuart Miller, director of thefamilies will go to lawyers," said Mr. Query Even if there was no agree- American Fathers Coalition. Shoup's attorney, Betty A. Thompsonment between the parents, shouldn't the "It has scared everyone," saidof Arlington. "How does that help theparents be allowed to follow state law, Murray Steinberg, president of the Fam- children?" and terminate support transfer when the ily Resolution Council in Richmond. Mrs. "Thompson, who has special- child reaches rrindority? "They really opened a big Pandora'sized in divorce cases the last 20 years, CRC believes parents should support box...It's not a public policy. It's a courthas filed Mr a rehearing before the fulltheir children through college or other policy." live-member Court of Appeals. The nextpost-high school education and training, Two of the three judges of Virginiaappeal would be to Virginia's Supremebut believes the best way to encourage Court of Appeals said Francis E. ShoupCourt. that is to have involved both parents in of Fairfax was in contempt of court and "It is too early to make judgment"the raising of the child. Involved parents would have to pay $33,838 in back child said Paul Fletcher, a Richmond lawyerare paying parents. support to his ex-wife, Heidi Shoup. and publisher of Virginia's Lawyers Mr. Shoup had argued that their 1994 Weekly, adding that the rehearing might divorce decree allowed him to reduceresolve the case. Parental Relocation and dull support payments by one third as "These self-executing support agree- ALI Standards forJoint each of their three daughters graduatedments were really quite common. People Custody from high school or turned 18. felt like it was a normal divorce they He reduced his $2,177 monthly pay-could use with kids coming of age in a A trial court did not err in changing a ment m one-third and then by two-thirdscouple of years," Mr. Fletcher said. joint custody award to sole custody for after their first two children turned 18 "The impact that could affect thou-the father, after the mother relocated out- and graduated in 1995 and 1997. sands of divorced persons is just begin-of-state, the Vermont Supreme Court Mrs. Shoup, who did not initiallyning to trickle out across the states," Mr.decided October 20, 2000. Among the object to the reduction, returned to courtFletcher said. "The lawyers are quitefactors in the decision were the amount in 1999. Fairfax County Circuit Judgeconcerned." of time the father spent caring Mr the Kathleen H. McKay ruled in her favor children and the breakdown in the par- and found Mr. Shoup in contempt. CRC note: This may have been aties' ability to coparent them. Dissenters That ruling was upheld by two of the family order, that is, an order that con-from the decision relied on relocation three appellate judges. "The jurisdictiontains one set amount firr all children in standards prepared by the American Law to make and modify child supportthe order, but doesn't break out howInstitute, but the court said that applying awards is the courts," wrote Appealsmuch is owed for each child. Terefore, the ALI standards fbrjoint custody would Judge Rosemarie Annunziata, who wasit is not clear that as each child is eman-have produced the same result joined by Chief Judge Johannacipated, the parents or the court contem- [Hoover (Letourneau) v. Hoover, Fitzpatrick. plate a one third reduction as each childVt, No. 99-084, 10/20/00] "The court must approve modifica-is emancipated. The parents or the court tion to the amowit of support at the timewould have to clearly state this and con- Page 12 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001

190 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Parental Relocation in payments made to the mother during the later discovered that the child was not his, Joint Custody Situation relevant period, and would pay thethe Tennessee Court of Appeals held mother $100,000. However, the govern-February 16. The Court of Appeals said A parent who wishes to modify a jointment contended that the restitution ele-juvenile courts did not have jurisdiction custody arrangement in order to relo-ment was a separate issue from the to award money judgements against the cate with his or her child is subject topurely punitive elements of the Act. state in such situations. The man involved the same standard that applies when The District Court held that the al-had been married to the mother, and deciding a relocation petition filed by aleged justification for the Act, the powermistakenly thought that the child was his. parent with sole custody, the Nebraskaof Congress to regulate interstate com-After the divorce, tests showed that the Supreme Court ruled December 22,merce, was not persuasive. The Act ex-man was not his father, and the man 2000. On the basis of this principle, theceeded the permissible limits ofsought an end to his support obligation, Supreme Court denied a mother's re-Congress's Commerce Clause power, which had been in effect for three years. quest to relocate to New York. The di-the court said, and it granted the obligor'sThe appeals court ruled that he was en- vorced couple in the case before the motion to dismiss the indictment. titled to prospective relief from the obli- court had shared joint legal and physical [United States v. King, S.D.N.Y., No. gation, but it refused to order the state to custody of their two young children un-SI 00 Cr. 653 (RWS), 2/8/01] repay him for all support paid. til 1998, when the father requested cus- [White v. State ex rel. Armstrong, tody, alleging that the mother's lifestyle Tenn. Ct. App., No. M1999-00713- was inappropriate. Child Support Paid by COA-R3-CV, 2\16\01] The mother filed a cross-petition for Non-Father The above cases are summarized sole custody and for leave to relocate A juvenile court cannot order the state from Ra. th'', La wReporter, published by with the children. The mother said that of Tennessee to repay a man the supportThe Bureau of National Affairs, Inc. she had secured employment in Newhe paid as reimbursement for a child'sThey appear here by permission of the York, and that her income would in-welfare benefits, despite the fact that hepublisher. crease with the new job. The judge in the lower court ruled that it was not in the children's best interest to set aside the joint custody arrangement. The National Child's Day:: children's quality of life would not be 11, the MIX: you receive this nevmletter. the A.T.S. Senate should line trussed a improved in New York, and their best resolution (1esignatimr. thelirst Stuiday. ,hine:as 7NatioiLd Child's 1.)ay.- interests did not favor such a move, the ye;:r. lower court found. The I is one of the ft..W.countrieS %-oild that does not )1I l% c a fiat [Brown (Morales) v. Brown, Neb., especiallv.:.setasitic: for (.luldren. in tlie.waV that Nlotlicr's 1)a% and: No. S-99-144, 12/22/00] Dav are de.signateci clays. This is tlutliiiri the Sifitate will lime passed a (.'lilt': Child Support Recovery DaY 1(esoltniOn.% \l'e Pr6itictit Bush will use. Ow lIeStilittion ;is a Act Held Unconstitutional halts 101 tiC(7Niingilel'illa11C2It t)i)Se:6;111Cl: 01 "Nal.11nUL1 Congress's power wider the Com- Ve ask CRC members to hol(finbscrvances barhcues,:chur(l socials. merce Clause of the U.S. Constitution and (tiller rsiints , io celebrate Childr(n's I)at this it nn us did not warrant its enactment of the photographs °idle. childrcii:iind Vl114);ift parlidpaling ui bill i it iii \V( Child Support Recovery Act, the U.S. tVIII 131.1i/611 same of the photos in future issues of the (..'RC nen sietter. District Court for the Southern District grotir callt:d FOCI:S !t1i.ina. Florida. :Lc:tided on (Auld of New York held Feb. 8. The Act made ist Lee Het:liter. are vorking to promote (Ailloren s it a federal crime punishable by up to two years' imprisonment to fail to pay a child support obligation pursuant to a CRC Wants Chapters in Every State state judicial or administrative order, CRC wants chapters, in cAttry state! Go CRC! whenever the defendant and the child for development of cl ta piers in states that C1(1 ;110...1(C. live in different states. \IM:11. (..."ItC Cot idirtator inr.(:litio.:wito is 11(.111111.j. The case before the court arose out CRC will: chapter development. Contact Marcr.tret at 271.i Sai=ion. Road. of the indictment of a Texas man for Toledo. Ofti;:43646. '119. 173-8955. failing to make support payment for his siate:alreat IvAia; achapter. call the :mu Cnnrdinator icri.hc ultapter.:',' (laughter, who lives with her mother in heads listing in.this letter. or call the itationai CRC tifftii..e at 202.:i47-6:227. New York. A settlement had been ne- Join CRC.. tht:it ask for a copy of the 1(K) pax CitC booklet that expianis gotiated under which the man would erythingI..1 need to kttun ;111011t cost Ille:1)0t)Alei is .!12. repay the City of New York for welfare

Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 13 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 141 nook Nook

That is what I have learned from co- Swallow illuminates the overwhelm- Breaking Apart A parenting with my former husband foring financial and emotional stresses of Memoir ofDivorce the past 9 years." divorce, the daily, unfbreseen difficulties. by Wendy Swallow. 292 pages, Wendy and her ex-husband's twoBut she writes too of the joys of indepen- hardback, $24.00. Published by boys are now 12 and 13, and she says dence and renewal. Her journey through Hyperion, New York. "they are wonderfully adjusted kids." divorce's rough terrainand the trium- In the book, Wendy Swallow, writ-phant reconstruction of her life after di- This book, a n excerpt ofing in a style that is both piercingly hon-vorceoffer encouragement and inspira- which is due to appear inest and profoundly moving, traces thetion to anyone struggling with a marriage, the May Reader's Digest,arc of her marriage to a complex manas well as an insightful literary portrait of stems from an article ap-ten years her senior. what it is to relinquish the comfbrt and pearing in Washingtonian She looks into her own heart and atsecurity of a long-held dream. Magazine several yearsher childhood and young adulthood as A former staff writer for the Wash- ago.Sheoriginallya way of widerstanding the relationshipington Post, Wendy Swallow is currently thought sole custodyand its ultimate breakdown. She also ex-ajownalism professor at American Uni- would be best for heramines her struggle to balance her bur-versity and a freelance writer. A divorced children, but when her ex-husband in-geoning career and the demands ofmother of two, Swallow lives in sisted on joint custody, she finally agreed,motherhood. Kensington, Maryland, outside of Wash- and "I have learned over time that it has And then she writes of divorce: theington, D.C. been the best way to raise our boys." hopeful fantasies she conjured while still Note: A portion of Wendy Swallow's She told CRC, "I think every childin her marriage, as well as the harsh re-book is not the only item scheduled for has a relationship with both their par-alities she faced when she and her hus-the May Reader's Digest. Also look for a ents, however challenging that may be.band finally separated. "People say mar-portrait of former federal Child Support There should be a presumption fbr jointriages break up," writes Swallow, "butCommissioner Judge David Gray Ross, legal and physical custody in every state.mine finally broke down." and his support for the 2-parent family.

Father and Child of a journalist, social worker, or law-Farrell taught at the School of Medicine maker, and any single, married, or di-at the University of California in San Di- Reunion: How to vorced parent needs to read this thought-ego, and has taught psychology, sociol- Bring the Dads We ful and engaging book. ogy, and political science at Georgetown, Need to the Children Dr. Warren Farrell argues-with sur-Rutgers, and Brooklyn College. He is the prising and convincing evidence drawnonly man elected three times to the We Love from court cases, law-enforcement board of N.O. W. in New York City. by Warren Farrell, Ph.D. 300 pages, records, national statistics, and therapeu- hardback. $25 Tarcher/Putnarn, tic case studiesthat the judicial system, member of Penguin Putnam. media, and government often make dads "the enemy." Fathers enjoy no parenting Intellectual Property The author of Whyrights within the legal system and even Protection Men Are the Way Theyin other, less typically confrontational Are demolishes conven-arenas-such as the public education sys- Charlie Ruggiero, who ob- tional wisdom about thetem-a wide range of unreported forces tained trademark Priitection for nature of fatherhooddivide fathers from their children. the 'name Anil) ogo:':"Cluldren's and shows how the For all its explosive conclusions, Fa- Riglitiiiiiiciraritiche name ,md courts, media, and gov-ther and Child Reunion ultimately calls logP!:lor our newsletter "Speak ernment create subtle,for a rejoining of families and of chil- Cluldren"..JS a specialist immensely powerfuldren with parents who can care for them. trademark, patent. cops right, widercurrents that separate men fromDr. Farrell has written a significant book nd:11CeiasiiieaWi.1-1&is a partner their children. on a vital issue facing men, women, and F. Ohhuidt, Anyone who cares about the naturefamilies today. GreeleYRCiggieri a and Pe rle 1 of fatherhood today, anyone interested Lardj*.ok::$4iiare...Suite 903, in the legal and emotional issues that Warren Farrell, Ph.D., is the author St mford C.17:06901, telephone divide fathers from children, anyoneof Women Can't Hear What Men Don't (20.3).360.67. viewing fatherhood from the perspectiveSay and The Myth of Male Power. Dr.

Page 14 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001

AVAILABLE 142 BESTCOPY Children's Rights Council 2001CATALOG OF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANIC BOOKS 13ISCIDUN-1-F..131 Buy at Discount & Sell for Full Price to Your Group Make $$$ or Give Cc-)pies to Educate Judges or Pc,licymakers Discounted Books Arc in Bold l'ype

BOOKS FOR KIDS BOOKS FOR PARENTS

A Heart Full of Love, written by Bette S. Margolis, illus- NEW! trated by Christie L. Kline. A wonderful book for that spe- The Unexpected Legacy of Di- cial 7- to 9-year-old in your life who is undergoing parental vorce-A 25-Year Landmark Study, divorce. by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and SB-101 ------$15.00 Sandra Blakeslee, 2000. The best-selling book that says many children of divorce I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James suffer long-term effects from divorce. Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. SB-200 $24.95 HB-102 $16.95 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co- Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by CNN's Larry King and parents and 83 children report on life in married, divorced, Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both and step-family situations. a child's and a father's perspective. SB-103 $12.95 How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad-Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. one-of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents HB-203 $6.00 as they reshape their lives post-divorce. SB-104 Reg. $9.95 *Discount Price$4.00 The Divorce Help Source Book, by Margorie Engel, 1994. Combines sound advice with hundreds of po- I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps tential sources of help to assist you in getting the re- children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative sults you deserve. feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. SB-204 Reg. $17.95 *Discount Price$7.00 SB-105 $4.95 Divorced Dads, Shattering the What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, Myths, by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be The surprising truth about fathers, children better than one. and divorce. SB-106 ------$12.00 HB-205 $24.95 It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses children understand divorce and sends a how to share your children with your ex- good message. spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida co- SB-107 $5.99 ordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! HB-206 Reg. $18.95 *Discount Price$9.00 The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985. How to facilitate honest and open Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. communication between adults and children at the trau- Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the matic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for kids. impact of divorce on children through different stages SB-108 $15.95 of their lives. My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and SB-207 Reg. $22.50 *Discount Price$5.00 Area Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My Body for Boys." SB-109 Reg. $11.95 *Discount Price$6.00

143 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par-REVISED! ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough Parenting" gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as and 'Winning the Custody War Without Casualties" partners, not enemies. SB-218 ------$24.95 SB-208 $23.00 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. $19.50 vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where HB-219 parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. Familyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by HB-209 ------$23.00 Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to com- A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book municating values. Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $10.00 that will enable adult children of divorce to recognizeHB-220 the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to SB-210 Reg. $10.00 *Discount Price$5.00 Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc- book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own re- for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 search, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- information. vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for SB-211 Reg. $22.95 *Discount Price $10.00 $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed REVISED! by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make names). two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages SB-221 ---- Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 to this classic book! Individual copies $10.00 SB-212 $20.00 Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nation- Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- ally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. HB-222 $25.00 Points out destructive habits by both sexes which, when The Sibling Society, by Robert Bly, 1996, author of "Iron realized, strengthen families and relationships. John." Describes our culture as one where adults re- SB-213------$14.00 main children, and children have no desire to become The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, adults-a nation of squabbling siblings. by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. HB-223 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $12.00 SB-214 Reg. $16.95 *Discount Price$7.00 N EW! Putting Kids First, by Michael Ceasefire, by Cathy Young, 1999, syndicated columnist. Why women and men Oddenino. A must read for caring parents must join forces to achieve true equality; and professionals, by CRC's General Coun- how that will help children, too. sel. Includes a children's bill of rights. SB-215 ------$9.95 HB-224 $25.00 Saying No Is Not Enough, by Rich- SecondChances, byJudith ard Schwebel, Ph.D., 1989. Raising chil- Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. dren who make wise decisions about drugs Based on ten year longitudinal study of and alcohol. the effects of divorce on adults and chil- SB-225 $11.00 dren. HB-216 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price$5.00 Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher, 1996, syndicated columnist. How we destroy lasting love. Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par-HB-226------$25.00 ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still validFriends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, in discussing the problems of children being raised by 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult single parents. daughters. SB-217 Reg. $14.00 *Discount Price $10.00

144 Talking Back to Rita lin, by Peter R. BOOKS FOR STEPPARENTS Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. What doctors aren't telling you about the dan- How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. gers of stimulants. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the HB-228 ------$25.00 Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. The Assault on Parenthood, by Dana HB-301 $13.95 Mack, 1997. The author, a scholar at the Institute for American Values, describes Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/ how our culture undermines the family. New Rules, by Claire Berman, 1986. Former HB-229 Reg. $25.00 *Discount Price $10.00 president of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical help and insights. Babyhood, by Paul Reiser, 1997. This SB-302 $7.95 is not a how-to-book. It contains humor- ous stories by the star, co-creator and ex- Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by ecutive producer of the NBC Series Mad Mala Burt for the Stepfamily Association of About You.Reiser'sfirstbook, America. Couplehood, was a #1 New York Times SB-303 ------$9.95 bestseller list. HB-230 Reg. $22.00 BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS *Discount Price $10.00

Working Fathers, by James A. Levine, CRC Advisor, Grandparenting in a Changing World, and Todd L. Plttinsky. A guide to help fathers as well as by Edna LeShan, 1997. "Common sense mothers, employees and managers, succeed in man- presented with uncommon grace." - aging the competitive demands of home and work. Kirkus Reviews. HB-231 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 SB-401Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price $6.00 The War Against Parents, by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Cornel West.Praised by Grandparents as Parents: A Survival CRC in a letter to the Washington Post Guide for Raising a Second Family, Book World when the book was pub- by Sylvie de Toledo and Deborah Edler Brown. A "how-to" lished in 1998. manual for grandparents who are raising their grandchil- HB-232$24.00 *Discount Price $10.00 dren. HB-403 ------Reg. $17.00 The Divorce Culture, by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead (1996). Worth reading for its BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS insightful views of marriage and divorce, but deficient in not recognizing the phenomenon of the "forced Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's away" and "pushed away" parents. Journey, by CRC's own Serge Prengel, HB-233 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $10.00 1998. Published with praise from Warren Farrell, Karen DeCrow, and James A. Cook. Business Dad, by Tom Hirschfeld. How Good Business- SB-2501 ------$13.95 men Can Make Great Fathers (and Vice Versa), 1999. Recommended by Stephen R. Covey author of The 7 Surviving Divorce-Women's Re- habits of Highly Effective People, and by James A. sources After Separation, by Mavis Levine, director, The Fatherhood Project, Families and Maclean, 1991. Women coping with earnings, maintenance Work Institute. and welfare in the U.S., France, and Great Britain. HB-218 Reg. $17.25 *Discount Price $10.00HB-502 ------$5.00 Ask the Children, by Ellen Galinsky,Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story, by president of the Families and Work Insti- John Thorndike, 1996.A memoir of Thorndike's life with tute, 1999. What America's Children Re- his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make ally Think about Working Parents. regarding their son's life. HB-235------Reg. $25.00 HB-503 Reg. $24.00 *Discount Price $12.00 *Discount Price $10.00 Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. Shows the devastating consequences of fatherlessness in both individual families and in our society. HB-504 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00

145 The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu- One Swell Dad, by Pat Ross, 1992. The book of memories linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents the argu- and expressions of fatherly endearment from the past. ment that American men are in crisis and includes what HB-518 ------$9.00 lead to this phenomenon. *Discount Price $10.00 HB-505 Reg. $23.00 MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by GeofferyFamily Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase sys- HB-506 $19.95 tem to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to litigation. Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M.HB-601 ------$45.00 Berger, 1996. SB-507 ------$22.00Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults Re- Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, cover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth and desires. Dalton, attorney and mediator SB-509 Reg. $5.99 *Discount Price$3.00 HB-602 ------$15.00

Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A collection of stories on being a man at midlife in LEGAL ISSUES America, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. HB-512 Reg. $21.95 *Discount Price $11.00 NEW! From Courtship to Courtroom: What Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster Divorce Law Is Doing to Manage, by Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about Jed H. Abraham, 2000. Abraham, a lawyer, child custody and child support for a single mediator, and joint custody advocate, writes parent. a chilling picture of how today's divorce laws SB-513 ------$21.95 make life miserable for families. The Single Parent's Money Guide, by SB-701 ------$15.00 Emily Card, 1996. A plan for managing your A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, money when you are the only one your family can count 1997. A discussion of a divorced father's on. struggle with the child custody industry. SB-514 Reg. $14.95 *Discount Price$6.00 HB-703 Reg. $21.00 Questions from Dad, by CRC Spokesperson and pop *Discount Price $10.00 singer Dwight Twilley, 1994. A very cool way to communicate with your child. Introduced by Dr. Susan Forward. The Custody Revolution, by Richard SB-515 ------$17.00 Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique. I Am the Mother of Sons. Poems by Jayne Jaudon Ferrer, HB-704 Reg. $21.00 *Discount Price $15.00 1996. Illustrated by Lina Levy. HB-516 ------$10.00Custody for Fathers, by Carleen and Michael Brennan, 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have Men on Divorce-The Other Side of the Story, ed- helped fathers win (share) custody of their children in ited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Spano, 1997. a mom-biased system. SB-517 Reg. $12.00 *Discount Price$6.00 HB-705 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $12.00

146 Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, Children Held Hostage, Dealing with J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- Programmed and Brainwashed Chil- tem and its effects on divorcing couples. dren, by Stanley S. Clawar, Ph.D., C.C.S. and HB-706 ------$10.95 Brynne Rivlin, M.S.S., 1991. This book is approved by the American Bar Association. The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce/Cus- SB-905 ------$50.00 tody Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the le- Besharov, Ph.D., a resident scholar of the American Enter- gal insights of Williams Dawes, Esq., 1997. prise Institute. A comprehensive guide to recognizing, pre- SB-707 $15.00 venting, and handling child abuse and neglect. SB-906 $12.00 Every Parent's Guide to the Law, by Deborah L. Forman. Everything you need to know about legal issues The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can affecting parents and children pre-birth through the child- Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gelles, 1996. A con- rearing years. vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child welfare system. Divorce Yourself, the National No-Fault DivorceHB-907 ------$23.00 Kit, by Daniel Sitarz, 3rd ed. 1993. Everything you and Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, by your spouse will need to obtain your divorce without Alex V. Levin, MD., and Mary S. Sheridan, using a lawyer. Instructions, easy-to-use legal forms, 1995. Issues in Diagnosis and Treatment. checklists, and courtroom guidelines. Legally valid in Deliberate creation or false reporting of ill- all 50 states and D.C. ness, to gain attention for the caretaker. SB-709 Reg. $24.95 *Discount Price $15.00 This is a form of child abuse. HB-908 Reg. $60.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING *Discount Price $30.00

Autographed Copies! The Abuse Excuse-And Other Cop-Outs, by noted lawyerAlan Dershowitz, 1994. Sob stories and evasions They Are My Children, Too, by Catherine Meyer, 1999. of responsibility. Powerful account of a mother's loss of her children. A case HB-909 Reg. $23.00 *Discount Price $10.00 of international parental kidnapping. Written by CRC's new Honorary President. HB-801 $23.00 PSYCHOLOGY Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, by Verena Kast, 1997. When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca Self-Help/Psychology. A modern analysis of parent-child re- Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents lationships and their psychological effects - both negative searching for their children and abductors who have taken and positive. them; also makes public policy recommendations. SB-1001 $13.00 HB-802 $22.95 CHILD ABUSE VIDEOS Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong,Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth 1996. False accusations of child abuse: A road map for Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- survivors that helps to answer their questions. perience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- SB-901 ------$15.95 award winning video prepared by CRC's National Parent Education Director. The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for men- V101 $25.00 tal health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authoritative work on the Parental Alienation Syn- Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- drome. ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that SB-903 $35.00 V102provides ------information on co-parenting in the event $20.00 of divorce. NEW! Therapeutic Interventions for Children with Pa-Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- rental Alienation Syndrome, by Richard A. Gardner, tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, M.D. (2001). This is a book for therapists working with fami- M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- lies where children are alienated from a parent. ate the child against the other parent. SB-904 ------$40.00V103 ------$25.00

147 REPORTS Button created by Patti Diroff that says "Child support is more than a check, it's Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. being a parent." With CRC logo, includ- Updated 1997. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may ing children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2- be available. 1/4" diameter. R101 $10.00 B202 ------$2.00

Parenting Plans. Three different parenting plans that can help you and other parents. T-SHIRTS CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help Stop Crime, Give Children 2 Joint Custody as a Child's Righta law review ar- Parents" Specify size: child S, ticle (1988), a legal brief with citations up to 1994 and a M, L; Adult S, M, L, XL. Specify report by Section 16 of the American Psychological Asso- color: white or blue. ciation describing "favorable outcomes" for children with joint -- $10 adults, $8 children custody (1995) R103 ------$10.00 Send for a list of other reports.

PINS AND BUTTONS MUGS Each white ceramic mug says "Children's The famous "Children First" pin. Rights Council" and "The Best Parent is 8 colors, with figures of seven Both Parents." A Mark Roseman cre- children standing on a field of ation. green with logo "Children First." $8 each or two for $15. Two prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" Add $2 for shipping first mug, $1 each wide. P101------$8.00 additional mug.

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wW. PM 4PM mp pqw pm pm wp om pmc ,pmx fpw wrw I'MK XIII PM mno pm pm km4. mx, moo. tt, arcier !Farm 4 Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 1" Street N.E. Title. Title Suite 401 Total Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 (10% off for CRC members; Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 membership is $35/year) Fax your order to CRC at 242t6464272 Total Sal $4.00 first item $1,00 each addtl. item Total enclosed SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS:

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14 8 BEST COPY AVABABLE Equal Parents' Week CRC's National Mandate for a 2-Parent Foriis September 24-September 30, 2001 "Just Say Yes!" to Shared Parenting

Spread the word to family, friends,Parents' Day. In addition, purple rib-truly in children's best interests...to "just and other organizations to join us inbons were worn to signify a child's natu- say yes" to unconditionally loving and making our message "The Best Parentsral right to both parents. (See additional sacrificing for their children...and that Is Both Parents" (luring Equal Parents'information on page 25.) means, "Just Say Yes!" to shared Week stronger than ever this year by Equal Parents' Week advocates thatparenting. tying purple ribbons throughout Equala 2-parent focus should be established For those who would like to keep Parents' Week. On Wednesday, Sep-as our national priority, maximizing the their purple ribbons tied permanently tember 26, 2001 at 8:30 p.m. "A Mo-involvement that both parents are will-and semi this message year-round, we ment In Our Hearts, A Moment Ofing and able to contribute in raising theirwant to encourage you to do this and we Solidarity" will be held nationally and in-children, and promoting the ability ofwant to know if you're doing it! Every ternationally, by holding candlelight vig-both parents to meet all their children's voice counts and every purple ribbon ils. For persons who cannot attend aneeds without compromising or impos-sends a message. public vigil, we urge you to hold youring financial impediments to nonfinan- Tie ribbons to your car radio an- own "Home Vigils" to add your voicescial forms of child support. tenna, to the door of your house or apart- and strengthen the message we are send- To call attention to 2-parent fbcus isment, or to your briefcase. ing. Last year, 25 states throughout thethe "Just Say Yes! to shared parenting" Please contact the National Coordi- United States and six fiffeign countriescampaign. "Just Say Yes" calls attention nator, Patti Diroff, at (909) 591 -3689 and Canada, England, Spain, Brazil, Argen-to the problem of parental "veto" whichat pattidiroff@worldnetattnet to let her tina, and Chileheld public candlelightunreasonably and arbitrarily defeats know if you are tying/holding purple rib- vigils, "Home Vigils," and tied purpleshared parenting and all too often de- bon activities and holding umdleligl it vig- ribbons. prives children from the contact theyils or "Home Vigils" so they can be in- The Equal Parents' Week messageneed and deserve from loving and re-cluded in the international press release. is spreading and is being observed atsponsible parents through laws or judi-You can also use the sign up links for other times by other organizations. Oncial discretion. Vetoing shared parentingactivities on the Equal Parents' Week March 14, 2001, the Empire State Build- is a negative choice. website at http://members.tripod.com/ ing in New York City was illuminated in lite response of statutes and judgesepweek red and blue lights through the joint ef-should instead require parents to make forts of the New York City CRC Chap-a choice to exercise their first responsi- Contact Other CRC ter and the Father's Rights Associationbility as a parent...to "just say yes" to Members by E-mail NYS, Inc. in declaring that day Equalmaking a commitment to doing what is Send and receive e-mail from other CRC members around the : ...... Order.POrenting:Timc:Calet:.ixiars:! country. If you are a CRC member, e- has -c aj>ihroved mail the following message to fitr.entifig iS.SUS! deCllfCil iIr :( :Ourn 71.Tte.calenilar :cr.es ( level( iped :be CRC:: Harry Prillaman, CRC Coordina- if Ohio: ' :ariiius col( iCkS::011;the.c.,:denilar represent. tinne hetween..the ::: tor for Georgia, who is supervis- chililcuul diem >n= custo(lkal. }) %trent :tlatis is spent tOgeth6-.);(ipten);bilie,thiskd. ing this service. He can be reached (1(),. ;610: speaik.:.tiiiies::(blue): .::',11 at [email protected] times, , you caU sliocc timed ileiiilxr in court;ail y oU1 to Order froin 4 11:.OhiO :6069yy6tSvKania:SG.:":17.iiledo:(")171.::1,3023';:$10: Dear Harry. I am a national total of $14.: lorurders.:91::1:0 or more for your. group :the total shipping charge:: CRC member who would like to join the [email protected] distribution list. Get :a 3:9 .Credit Laid Thanks,

. . Your name, mailing address, . . : :. Get die. Cite VISA:ered it:Carffi: and :obtainloN.0 9:percent iiitiodikthry: phone number, and e-mail address rate. "..f.he:(Tedit.cardili.Spl#S the:CRC'l6go: ;Ind CRC receives a. sMalleoptrn: Call the CRC national office bution :every tiMe.:you:USe: tl ie CRC receives more: if: vou break: u p at 202-547-6227 or fax 202 -546- I contaet pturi laSe into :several Sm 4272 to make sure your national BN.V:it I--1300,523-7666.:4f.youlitrouble.obt-ainiitg;approk'id.,.cOntad..CRC;.:: membership is current. .calCt:guanuitee.airoval.: 1 nit we.:%ill:gladfy Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 21 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 149 Unahlc:to At end Available on Audio Cassette CRCs :13tliNational Children's Rights Council's .::Confere. nee?: Ernie 'and 13th National Conference Friends

Shared Parenting-- It Makes Sense ,:!1..inher sing "Heal the Cries of the May 3-6, 2001 'Children" and songs by 11 other .. $12. Bethesda, Maryland :Order:Booklet of Materials submitted :s1W:nians- of the speakers, and some CRC Audio Cassette List: conference handouts An mei view of CRC 101 The Perspective on Families: How Foundations, Government Agencies and : Non-Profit Organizations View Family Issues -Moore, Haskins, Kaiser, Smith, Mellgren, Allany topics affecting custoth, access ::(Nisitation) and parental kidnapping of Perrin, Gallagher, Levy $10 CRC 102 Grandparents Are Parents, Too! -Castagno CRC 103 Parents: The Key to Student Success -Hodge AtidiO:Cassettes:Recordedarthe:Coi.v::::;: CRC 104 Focused Thinking in Parenting: Teaching Children to Think and Solve Prob- lems Successfully -Posthumus letence $10 CRC 105 Gender Politics and Shared Parenting -Young Order Form CRC 106 Developments on Capitol Hill that Affect Children and Families Panel -Hill staffers :1:would like to order CRC 107 The New American Family: What Was Wrong With the Old One? -Kathleen l'arker at 12 CRC 108 Creative Writing Group: "Telling Your Story of Loss, Hope, and Renewal" :(additional copies of - Roseman :tlie:CD ale $10 each) CRC 109 Dads and Stepdads Parenting with Moms and Stepmoms -Engel CRC 110 Parental Conflict Resolution -Cooper :: The Booklet of Conference CRC I I I Financial Child Support: Obligation or Burden? -Kaiser Materials at $10 CRC 112 Still a Dad: The Divorced Father's Journey -I'rengel CRC 113 Developmentally Effective Parenting Plans -Stahl The following tapes at $10 each CRC l 14 Healthy Men, Healthy Fathers, Healthy Families -Bartlett CRC 11.5 The Politics of Parenting -Baskerville CRC 116 A New Administration: A Return to Dignity for Families -Crouch Nos CRC 117 Parallel Parenting Strategies: Keys for Success in High Conflict Divorces -Mikesell CRC I 18 Generative Parenting: Seeking Peace in the Mediation of Divorce -Rogers, Leving CRC 119 ADVOCACY: Playing a Responsible Role -Henry CRC 120 False Allegations of Parental Alienation - Darnall $,11-1 is $4 lot first item, $1 lor CRC 121 Establishing and Operating Successful 'Safe Haven' Child Transfer and Super- each additional itein vised Access Centers -Banner, Cady, Huerter, Wall, Wuwert, Ellis CRC 122 Should Access be Provided to Kidnappers after Children have been Recovered, Total Enclosed and if So, Under What Circumstances -Dabbagh CRC 123 Alienation: How it Feels; What we should Do About It! -Holstein CRC 124 Alienation and Malpractice: A Case Study -Gidding VISA__ MC of AMEX CRC 12.5 Caught in the Crossfire: Dispelling Myths About Child Abuse and Custody Cases - Tong Nuinhei CRC 126 In the Best Interests of Children & Families -Judges CRC 127 Creative Process Group: "What are We Taking Home?" -Prengel CRC 128 Moments to Memories: Creating Legacies for Families of Divorce -Isham CRC 129 Rebuilding the Bond -Stuart-Mills Hock .!:Signattne CRC 130 A Working Vision of Cost Shares: Child Support Guidelines -Rogers, Bieniewicz CRC 131 Why Supervised Visitation? -Olesh .:.:.:Send:.oider to (name) CRC 132 Reunification Success Stories -Darnall CRC 133 No One is Immune: A Psychologist's Encounter with the Tyranny of Conven- tional Wisdom -Dave CRC 134 Representing Single Custodial Fathers -Leving CRC 135 The Distressed Children of Sierra Leone -Kargbo, The Disturbing Reality of Parental Abductions, Divorce and Custody in Japan -Benda, and Children of Divorce in England -Coe CRC 136 The Future of CRC. Questions and Answers -Levy, Bauserman

Page 22 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001

150 BEST COPYAVAILABLE Bills in Congress

Fatherhood Bill passport if the applicant or passportknow about the importance of children Re-Introduced holder is a noncustodial parent who ishaving access to both of their parents. the object of an outstariding State arrestThe resolution was part of a crime bill, S. 653 (Senate bill) and H.R. 1300warrant for nonpayment of child sup-the Violence Against Women Act, and (House bill). port, where the amount in controversydid not adequately represent the need The Responsible Fatherhood Act,is not less than $10,000. Referred toof children to have access to both par- which was passed by the House last year, House Subcommittee on International ents in most situations. We thank every- and stopped in the Senate, has been re-Operations and Human Rights, phoneone who contacted their House mem- introduced in the House and Senate. It(202) 225-3345. bers against this resolution, and against is essentially the same bill in both House CRC has asked Rep. Andrews toan earlier, even stronger anti:joint cus- and Senate. provide a balancing amendment to thistody resolution that was part of VAWA. The legislation provides for $77 mil-bill to deny passports to custodial par- lion in fatherhood programs, with aents who have been found to be in vio- Can't Compel Child- heavier emphasis on marriage than thelation of any state or federal visitation Parent Testimony legislation last year. order, including violations of the inter- List year's bill provided for a 50/50state visitation law sponsored by Rep. H.R. 733, introduced by Rep. Rob- split in funds, half to promote marriage,Andrews which became law in October, ert Andrews (D-N J), to establish a par- and half to promote fragile families. 1999. That law requires all states to rec-ent-child privilege. Neither a parent nor This year's Senate version requiresognize the visitation orders of othera child shall be compelled to give testi- more emphasis on marriage. Governorsstates. Write to Rep. Andrews asking for mony as a witness in a court proceeding of the states must certify that hinds arethis balancing amendment against each other. Referred to House being used to promote or sustain mar- Subcommittee on Courts, the Internet riage, or fatherhood. Whether father- Tax Interception and Intellectual Property, phone (202) hood can be promoted outside of mar- 225-5741. riage depends on which Hill staffer you H.R. 869, introduced by Rep. talk to. Michael N. Castle (R-DE), titled theCorrection and Discussion The Senate bill's major sponsor isChild Support Fairness and Tax Inter- of Safe Haven Sites Sen. Evan Bay h (D-IN), and the House'sception Act of 2001. This bill amends main sponsor is Rep. Julia Carson (D-title IV part D (Child Support and Es- In the last issue of this newsletter IN). Each bill has both Republican andtablishment of Paternity) of the Social(Fall, 2000/Winter, 2001), we erred in Democratic co-sponsors. Security Act to provide for die use ofstating the Violence Against Women's Rep. Carson wants to fund successdie tax refund intercept program to col-Act (VAWA) bill number that Congress programs that promote fatherhood, saidlect past-due child support of behalf ofpassed. It is H.R. 3244, which is Public one of her aides. children who are not minors. Referred Law 106-386. We also stated that funds At the request of CRC, Sen. Bay hto House Subcommittee on Humanhad not yet been appropriated under die added a provision to the bill that in con-Resources, phone 202-225-1025. Writelaw. They had. However, the hinds are sidering funding, one of the factorsto Rep. Castle to ask for the same kindless than contemplated. The law itself should be programs that explain "theof balancing amendment as recom- authorized $15 million, but the Congres- benefits of the involvement of both par-mended above for Rep. Andrews' bill. sional appropriators only allotted $2 ents in a child's life." million for die "Youth Safe Havens". The Senate bill was referred to the Anti-Joint Custody VAWA states that Safe Havens Senate Finance Committee, 202/224 - Resolution Knocked Out would be operated in conjunction with /1,51.5 and the House version was referred domestic violence programs in the vari- to House Ways and Means Committee, Congress dropped the anti- joint cus-ous state(s). CRC pointed out that Con- (202) 225-3625. tody resolution from the Violencegress already appropriates $10 million a Against Women Act. At least one Houseyear fur all states to share liar programs Denial of Passports member, Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA),that help children connect to their non- told CRC that contacts from constituents custodial parents, including transfer sites H.R. 407, introduced by Rep. Rob-was the reason he infbrmed Rep. Johnfor children and supervised access (visi- ert Andrews (D-NJ), to establish a de-Conyers (D-MI), the Resolution spon-tation) programs. These programs, some nial of passports to noncustodial parentssors that he opposed passage of the anti-of which are run by the Children's Rights in cases of nonpayment of child supportjoint custody resolution. CRC had asked Council, are very aware of die need to Authorizes the Secretary of State toindividuals and groups arowid die coun- refuse, revoke, restrict, or limit use of atry to let their members of Congress Continued on page 24

Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 23 151 Bills in Congress Chapter News Donors Arc Continued from pagr I I Confirmed Itorn page 23 Appreciated Ncw Leadership in protect individuals who use the sites. CRC thanks everyone who con- Ncw York City CRC stated that this was a duplica- tributes to CRC in the charity drive tive program, which fOcuses only on that takes place in all federal govern- Rafee Kamaal and Elizabeth domestic violence, and not on the broad ment offices every Fall. CRC is part Schnee have been elected co-presi- range of issues that cause judges to refer of Independent Charities of dents of CRC of New York City. We parents to supervised sites, including America. We also thank those who thank Thomas Thornton, whose substance abuse, longtime absence from contribute to CRC in the Washing- term expired in December 2000, the family, and severe communications ton, D.C., and San Francisco (Bay and welcome Rafee and Elizabeth, problems between parent~. Area) United Way campaigns. who were elected by the chapter fir TheJu.stice Department is in the pro- We also thank those who con- a two year term starting in January, cess of preparing regulations under tribute to CRC through their United 2001. Rani has been a CRC mem- which non-profit groups could apply for Way in some other part of the coun- ber fin- 4 years, and is a multi-media some of the funding. We will keep you try, where we are not listed, but producer. Itafee has one son, Rami, posted. where employers may sometimes 8 years old. Elizabeth owns her own The phone number to reach all allow employees to designate CRC. businessa glass etching firm called members of Congress is (202) 224-3121. CRC depends on volunteer help Townsend Glass in Long Island and contributions for its existence. City. She is a non-custodial mother We thank Bladcn who raised 4 kids. She has been class If you wish to make your tax-de- parent for the last 12 years, in all of Lithographics in ductible contribution directly to her children's classes. They are Gaithersburg, MD for CRC, send it to CRC 300 I Street, Tona, 20; Roddy, 16; Sarah, 15; and provi printing Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002. Jacob, 12. And yet she has been repeatedly blocked from visitation services to CRC. with the children.

Center for Divorce Education Letter to the Editor for Sale Don't Create Bimer Incentives for Divorce The Center for Divorce Education is a thriving Editor. It is:no exagge citron to sa% that politicians are tie - mail order business that we are selling due to retire- stroving the lin indations of American SO( letV. Mangy' ment. We want this good work to continue. We pro- our high divot% e rate al Id duce the award-winning Children In The Middle people are conct-rned allot aileCied by (1 iChe in ()keit video program and booklets for divorcing parents. die large nuinlycr o1 CI lilt k the libertarians ,,ceiti to ha% e We have been recognized as having the best divorce II()MCS.IIlMCVCr. ( nour:ed dial. the government is subsidizing single parent education programs in the country, and sales stearin:, homes and thus creating :mire of them. have increased. Now the Republiims are blindly moving to pump Research has shown these programs increase pa . tai it niiic rental cooperation, reduce conflict and relitigation rtirtitcse subsidic:s. rresment Bush proix INCd tilt.' child-tax c redit lii' 20116, and the r un and increase children's access to the nonresidential. want to do it e. iiister. 'Hwy parent. Sales can be substantially increased with good but marketing approaches. For a part time (20 hours per I kit this CI VC hi is available e inly to custodial pa.rents, week or less) person, annual income is more than nut to the ii p.trents %%lit) .ire support. is lust)111 ui least "Ix (11V0176!:iiI('.01.- 860,000. oilier gov- We will help the buyer get going with our experi- 11C'S III the IRS rules. along milt numerous ernment support pro sinus just lOr custodial parents. ence and expertise. 'Ile ',loops Li ha aft! '0.1'4-king to reduce our 411orce rate are concentrating mostly on promoting marriage More info at littp://wmv.BizBuySell.com and our unieS;:.Wr...start website at WWW. d ivo rce-ed ucati one mm , or call rot inst!ling. 'I lose measures won't go tar 740-593-1065,oremailDon Gordonat repealing the di. orce sainsidies, too. [email protected] Neil Ste% ski 1 arbuthno@ohimedu rlinguni,

Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 20G 15 2 BEST COPY HAMMY, Upcoming Events Children Denied Access in New York Fatherhood Conference Representatives of the Children's Rights Council, Fathers Rights Associa- tion, and other pro-family individuals and organizations held a press confer- The International Fatherhood ence Mardi 14 in Albany, NY. At the press conference, participants read off Conference 2001, sponsored by the number of children denied access to one of their parents in New York, NPCL (The National Center for Stra- county by county. tegic Non-Profit Planning and Com- This is based on a CRC report that there are more than 5500,000 children munity Leadership), will be held in who are denied access to their non-custodial parents; CRC broke the list down Atlanta, Georgia, May 28-30, 2001, by population reports in each state. at the Sheraton Atlanta Hotel, 1-800- Assemblyman David Sidikman (D), Sen. Owen Johnson (R), and Assem- 325- 3535. blymanJay Dinga (R), all of whom are co-sponsors of either A3673, or S2828 For conference information, con- shared parenting legislation spoke at the press conference, as did other tact Charlene Meeks or Jacqueline pro-family legislators. Raley at NPCL, phone 202 -822- V * V * V 6725. Patronize Our Advertisers Smart Marriages, Happy Families Advertise in CRC's Newsletter: 5,000 circulated with a Na- Smart Marriages, Happy Fami- tionwide readership of 25,0001 lies, The Fifth Annual Conference of the Coalition for Marriage, Family BusinessCard $75 Half page $275 and Couples Education, in Orlando, (7.15" x 4.825") Florida at the Rosen Center Hotel, 1-800-204-7234,Jwie 21-24. For reg- Quarter page $150 Full page $500 istration information, call 215/822- (3.575 x 4.825") (7.15" x 9.65") 6319 or [email protected]. David L. Levy of CRC will be on a panel at the conference on Saturday, For information contact Julie at the CRC office. June 23, from 10 to 11:30 a.m. to discuss Divorce Law Reform: Building a Movement. National Summit on Fatherhood TheNationalFatherhood The Year 2000 was CRC's 15th Anniversary Initiative's 4th national summit,June But We are Still Celebrating Until British 7-8, 2001 at the Hyatt Regency Wash- ington on Capitol Hill, phone 202/ Embassy Reception and Conference! 737-1234. For registraton information, contact NH at 301/-948-0599, or at www.fatherhood.org. Dick We appreciate everyone who has worked for children and CRC. We thank MikeSell, Ph.D., will speak on Work- all-those who have enabled CRC to improve the lives of children and families. ing with Divorced Parents. So many have given so much, of their time, eft-bits, and financial contributions.

For 2001, CRC has four life member levels of support. They are: Hertz: Car: Rental A PLATINUM LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $5,000 or more A GOLD LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $2,500 to $4,999. Hertz anii:.CRC .1 re :ge;fting:: to-:: A SILVER LIFE MEMBER is one who donates $1,000 to $2,499. gethei*.:Get.: a free A LIFE MEMBER is one who donates CRC $500 to $999. : Iierc:eitt,..ofFiiiir next Anyone who has contributed to CRC in the past may increase the donation to reach any of the life member levels. If you are unsure about your previous 22P01: donation level, contact CRC, and we would be glad to let you know. Thank 1.`21873t (the,:CRC:COde . : _. you. to,receive vourIfeelienefit:.:. . Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 25 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 153 National Affiliate Organizations and Chapters

Arizona Kentucky Nebraska/Iowa Pennsylvania International Conrad Greene, coordinator Kevin O'Brien, coordinator Lyn and William Hucrtcr. Michael Nicland, M.D. president CRC of Arizona Ann Swango coordinators CRC of Pittsburgh CRC of Great Britain P 0 Box 454 CRC of Kentucky Kevin Boston, president 1400 Inverness Avenue Tony and Christine Coe, Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 P 0 Box 74126 CRC of Nebraska Pittsburgh. PA 1.5217 coordinators phone: 480/970-5903 Dayton, KY 41074-0126 P 0 Box 45387 412/621-0222 Children's Rights Council of the fax:480/970-5925 phone: .5(3/624-7223 Omaha, NE. 6814.5-0387 United Kingdom entail: CRC- 402/330-3353 (voice and fax) Rita A. Jones, president 38-40 Gloucester Road California [email protected] e nail: children@radiksmet Bill Clements. treasurer London, SW7 4Q11 London, Patricia Galen, coordinator website: www.hunpmet/nnta CRC of Philadelphia England CRC of California Maryland P.O. Box 11413 phone: 011-44-20 7589 9003 P.O. Box 163801 Harvey Walden, coordinator NewJersey Philadelphia, PA 19111 fax:011-44-20 7584 4230 Sacramento. CA 95816-9081 CRC of Maryland Eric Purasson, president phone: 215/844-2372 entail: tonyakqualparcnting.mg phone and fax: 916/635-2590 417 Pershing Drive Newierscy Council for Children's email: CRCCaliMaol.com Silver Spring, MD 20910-42.54 Rights Kurt Knisen CRC ofJapan 301/588-0262 (1SUCCR) CRC of Harrisburg/Capitol Region Walter Benda Colorado website: P 0 Box 195 1.5 Beaver Road P.O. Box 588 Mark Entrain, coordinator www.menthas.tripod.com/ Old Bridge, NJ 08857-0195 Camp Hill, PA 17011 Max Meadows, VA 24.360 CRC of Colorado -Indere/ phone: 973/694-9323 phone: 717/763-0673 540/6374799 4715 Ranch Circle entail and website: www.Mccr.org fax: 717/763-7183 entail: emarigt)earthlinkmet Colorado Springs, CO 80918-4118 Rob and Sandra Snow, chairs website: www.gocitics.com/ phone: 719/548-8798 CRC of Greater Baltimore New York South Ilrolina.see North Carolina crdapan fax:719/597-2218 2 West 39th Street Kim Boedecker-Frey, coordinator and email: [email protected] Baltimore, MD 21218 CRC of Ncw York Tennessee David Brian Thomas phone and fax: 410/889-9404 231 Main Street. Suite I David Courson. coordinator 4-18-15-903 Connecticut email: [email protected] Vestal, NY 13850 CRC of Tennessee Kamiki TazawaSetagaya-Ku Mark Roseman, coordinator phone and fax 607/785-9338 2120 C rillin town Road Tokyo, Japan 156 CRC of Connecticut Massachusetts White 111111L TN 31708-5207 phone: 011-81-3-5317-0357 48 Shepards Knoll Drive Carolyn Brumber. coordinator Rake Kamaal and Elizabeth phone and fax: 615/9.52-2498 Hamden. CT 06514 16 Union Street Schnee, co-presidents email: [email protected] CRC of Sierra Leone phone: 203/288-7827 Holiston MA 01746 CRC of New York City Ynttrn Kargho fax: 203/281-1425 phone: 508/429-5282 4 West 105th Street Tcsa.s 350.5 Covered Bridge lane email: [email protected] c-mail: c.brumber@gatewaymet New York, NY 1002.5 Diana Buffington, coordinator Woodbridge, VA 22192 website: www.paradisctek.com/ hotline: 212/431-7724 CRC of Texas phone and fax: 703/397-7845 and cicrc.htm Steve Carrier, president 212/864-0318 189.59 Dallas Parkway, 11723 Esther Kargbo CRC of Massachusetts entail;crcnycithetterdivorce.cnnt Dallas. TX 7.5287 7 Sanai Ahacha Street Delaware .511 Main Street phone: 214/485-1.518 Freetown, Sierra Leone James A. Morning, president P.O. Box 904 Marlin Pierce. president fax:214/630-1143 phone: 011-23-2-2222-8682 CRC of Delaware Sturbridge, MA 01.566 CRC of Albany email: [email protected] PO Bon 1311 phone:508/347-5960 13 Camppagna Drive wasite: National Affiliate Dover, DE 19901 Fax: 508/347-9870 Albany, NY 1220.5 Cffillillunity.dallasnews.com/ 302/734-8522 Email: CRCMASS@)aol.com plume .518/4.59-8474 dinn/crctx Organizations nnorninebellallantic.net George Kelly, chairman North Carolina/South Carolina Chilrlren's Rights Coalition Mothers Without Custody District of Columbia Concerned Fathers of Fred Wall,Jr. coordinator (affiliate) (MW /OC) Frank Banner. coordinator Massachusetts, Inc. 4701 Wrightsville Ave., Bldg. 111 P.O., Box 12961 Jrfer 'sham, coordinator CRC of the District of Columbia P 0 Box 2768 Suite B1 Capitol Station tsebsite only: MID: www/ Hillcrest Children's Center Springfield, MA 01101-2768 Wilmington, NC 28403 Austin, TX 78711-2961 inotherswithoutcustorlyrug 1325 "W" Street N.W. 3rd floor phone: 413/736-7432 Phone:le: 910/350-0688 l'ax:21.5/499-80.56 Vashingtnn. D.C. 20009 lax: 413/732-3867 fax:910/350-0844 entail: bigred1411fathers.mg Stepfamily Association of America phone: 202/232 -8100 email: [email protected] (SAM fax: 202/483-4560 Michigan wchsite: crcnegibitsn.cont Vermont Margorie Engel, president Barbara Toth, coordinator call CRC (Alice larry Kallemyn, Executive Florida CRC of Michigan Dan Carrigan, Director Director Kris Kline, coordinator P 0 Box 653 Center Inc Children of Separation Virginia 650.1 Street, Suite 205 CRC of Florida Edmore, MI 48829-0653 and Divorce Murray Steinberg, president Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 355 Shore Drive .517/4.27-5774 49.50 Park Road CRC of Virginia. Richmond 402/477-7837 Denton, Fl. 34222 Charlotte, NC 28209 chapter 1-800/735-0329 phone: 813/635-0633 Minnesota 704/522-1331 9244 Royal Grant Drive Joint membership in SAA and fax: 813/620-9068 Bruce Ka.skubar, coordinator Mechanicsville, VA 23116 CRC: $35.00 Mr the first year email: KLINF.KRISI1)aol.com CRC of Minnesota Ohio phone:804/5.59-7090 5905 Chateau Road NAV. Margaret \\rumen. coordinator lax: 804/559-7072 Parenting Coalition International, Georgia Rochester, MN 55901 CRC of Ohio email:[email protected] Inc. Harry A. Prillaman, coordinator phone and fax: 507/289-5745 cm: of Northwest Ohio Belinda Rollins, president CRC of Georgia (call before faxing) 274.5 Sagamnre Road Paul Robinson, president 1025 Connecticut Avenue N.E., 808 Springbarhor Court Toledo, OH 43606 Fathers United for Equal Rights Suite 615 Woodstock, GA 30188-5509 BrucekaskuharNehakindicscum 419/472-1471 and Women's Coalition Washington, D.C. 20036 phone: 678/643-5924 entail: Immittelfan701aol.com P 0 Box 1323 phone: 202/530 -0840 fax: 678/643-5923 Missouri Arlington, VA 22210-1323 entail: ppillaft)us.ihm.com Scott Field. chair Or contact: phone: 703/4.51-8580 wasite: parentingcoalition.nrg CRC of Eastern Missouri Kevin O'Brien fax: 703/4.51-9321 P.O. Box 220661 P 0 Box 880.5 [email protected] Co-Mamas Terry Cady, coordinator Kirkwood, MO 63122 Cincinnati, OH 45208 Louise ()shorn and Lynne CRC of Illinois 314/963-4668 phone: .513/624.7223 Washington State Ringwood 905 Wayne Avenue alt. phones Scott 314/838-7092 fax: 513/624-3703 Jamaica Filgo P.O. Box 231304 Deerfield, IL 6001.5 Mark Hnldenricd 314/772- entail:PACEgrottp@fusemet CRC: of Washington Enciniias, CA 92023 phone 847/374-0461 1169 website: www.paregrotip.org P.O. Box 222 Phone: 760/942-4572 lax:312/322-3.553 entail: [email protected] Arlington, WA 98223 [email protected] [email protected] stet-mite: http://hometown.aolcom/ James Welty, president phone: 42.5/379-9666 crceasternmo/myhontepagt/ CRC of Northeast Ohio entail: 111g88110)tan.somedu State Chapters Indiana index.htnil 2804 East Center St Bob Monday, coordinator N. Kingsville, OH 44068 West Virginia Alaska CRC of Indiana Jim Moore, president Phone: 440/224-0694 Ginger Thompson, Cary Maxwell, coordinator P.O. Box 2348 CRC of Southwestern Missouri CRC of \Vest Virginia CRC of Alaska Indianapolis, IN 46206-2348 619 E. Silsby Oregon 109 North Arthur Drive P.O. Box 92083 phone: 317/685-4656 Springfield, MO 65807- Roy Nolan, coordinator Charleston, WV 2.5312 Anchorage, AK 99509-2083 email: [email protected] phone: 417/889-2121 CRC of Oregon phone: 304/744-6.534 phone: 907/277-1980 David Dinn, coordinator emeritus JMatCRCS WM013)aol.com P 0 Box 209.5 fax: 304/744-86.57 fax:907/276-3980 Portland, OR 97208 email: \VVISEEPOPaol.com email: gmaxwellgrala.skamet Iowa - Sec Nebraska/10.2 phone: 503/232-8630 fax:503/233-9390 Wisconsin contact CRC office

The entail address for Family Law Attorney John I- Bauserman,Jr., CRC Board Chairman, istlbausermanjegaol.com CRC General (7ottilsel Michad Oddcnino's email address is kidlirsantsmcom. His websi le is ..w.oartglaw.cont Page 26 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 2001

15 4 BEST COPYAVAILABLE 0.22 ./Z-72"ez,c2z79

Platinum Life Members (Contributors of $5,000 or more)Gold Life Members (Contributors of $2,500 to $4,999)

Anonymous Ronald K. Hemy,.I.D. Kamil Botros Anonymous Michael L. Oddenino, J.D. Jonathan Goodson Stuart Cochran Donald Smith Danielle Thu Terry Cady William A. Two Elliott Diamond

Silver Life Members (Contributors of $1,000 to $2,499

Paul Alexander Piotr Blass David Dinn Gary Maxwell Lewis Sierra Asa Baber Robert Blumenthal Elliott Friedel, M.D. Ann Marini, M.D. John Sieginund,.J.D. Don Bieniewicz Ralph and Frances Della O.T. and Lydia Green Steven Newell, M.D. Robert Thomas Joan Berkowitz Camera Colleen Johnson Abe Pollin David Bimey Edward Davidian Bashir Kottjacji Gary Santora, D.C.

Life Members (Contributors of $500 or more) Lou Adolf. Wiley Dobbs Philip Holman Ritz. Miller Peter Sokaris Paul Alexander Jennifer Dumas Melvin Hotman Joseph Milling Michael Steele Wally Babington Ted Ell Robert Koleopaa Michael Nieland Charles and Donna Stewart Travis Ballard, J.D. Robert Eisenhart Anna D. Keller Marc (Mick Robert K. Thomas John Bauserrnan, Sr. Family and Society Institute George Kelly PNC Mortgage Corp. of Andrew P. Usher Jeff Beal Hayden C. Fisbeck Paul LeBon America Virginia Wellington Cabot David Bimey Tommy Foster Dennis J. Lewis John Reynolds Foundation Sam Bmnelli Michael Friedman, M.D. The Levian Foundation, Dina Hum Pratt Searle Whitney Dennis C. Boytim Carla Goodwin Inc. Deborah R.Riggs Johnny P. Wilson Thomas D. Cabot III Steven Glinski Israel Lichenstein Jack L. Robinson Rex Wright Robert Carey Jonathan M. Goodson Nancy Luchs Paul Robinson Andrew Zwernemann Steve Chan Toni Greco, J.D., D.D.S. Gary Markoff, M.D. Ruth Scheer Cliff Clark Thomas E. Harries George R. WC-Island William Schnellbaecher Maureen Corbett Robert Heisley Marie T. McMannson Brad D. Schultz Charles D. Deckard Michael Hirschensohn Paul Menchetti Mark Seymour

CRC thanks all contributors who have joined, renewed their membership, contributed to CRC, or ordered materials from CRC from November 21, 2000 through April 4, 2001.

Kent & Robin Allen James Cloyes Christopher Kenyon Carole Olson David Smith Dolores Andrews Andrew Creedon Kris Kline Bim Orrenmaa Rob & Sandra Snow Ruth Arnold Jim Curran Michael Krupp Alberto Ortiz Alan Spadine Kevin &weft Ann Davis Judy Kutter Heather Osborne James Stanton Greg; Ballash Wiley Dobbs Tom Lange John Ostromecky Edward Stephens Gilbert Bard ige Patrick Donohue Vicki Lansky Annie Otto Jackie Stewart Eileen Barker Robert Drew Minna & Mel Lanmer David Pambianchi lee Stroud David Baz Michael Ellis Marcia Lebowitz Samuel Kirk Payne Marion Swimmers Greg Beard Jerry Emerick Fredric Levin Paul Pearlstein Mike Tabisz Jay Belmer Gary Garriott Joshua Levin Lewis Pearson Brian Thomas Walter Benda George Goodrich Loyd Lewis Richard Peck William van Berg Mary Ellen Berger Carla Goodwin Mark Lovato Arthur Popp Linda Van Dyke Joan Berkowitz Donald Gordon Gregory Lutz Serge Prengel Gretchen Watson Rebecca Black Dennis Oarsman Fred Ma nown John Priestley Mary Weaver Richard Blair Richard Haire Dennis Matzner John Prior Georgia Webber Leonard Mayer John Hanyok Larry McCurdy V Man Jamie & Leslie Weilbacher Richard Bogema Sharon Harley Dorothy McGee Mark Roseman Frank Weiss David Bokel Tom Hartman Virginia McKinney Dorene Rump James Welty Faniel Britt James Hays Sylvia Miott Lynch' Sala Thomas Williamson Theodore Brown Charles Honan Mahesh Mody Kevin Sandleimer Audrey Wise Kevin Bruce Bob Jaeger Bob Moline S Richard Sauber Richard Wise Sam Bnmelli Robert Johnson John Money Karen Saulnier Michael Wright Denise Bucheli DannyJohnson Lawrence Morgan Ray Saulnier C Curtis Wroten Bernhard Burgener Robert Johnson Leo Morrison Charles Scott Margaret & Ron Wuwert Thomas Cabot Ronnie Jones Joe Motacek Raymond Shapiro Timothy Zimmerlin Peter Campbell Kevin Juneau Sheila Murphy - Russell Phyllis Simon Michael Zimmerman Scott Caterer Amy Juneau Barbara Needham Clifirtrd Skabinsky Denise Bucheli Gary Kaleitt Kenneth Neumann Jane Sloat Scott Caterer Matt Kaplowitz. Wade Newman David Smith Torn Chandell Nancy Kellow Marc O'Dell Thomas Smith Spring 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 27

155 BEST COPY AVAILABLE A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. ngzeoRiGkisookil-- Permit #881

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date.te on yourexpiration checl if appropria pleaseana renew label

Vol. 16 No. 1 chilImeioRiGkfs 00A(cii010 Yes!I want to join CRC! You will receive a New Member Packet. Your membership contribution is TAX-DEDUCIIBLE. I want $15 of my dues ap- DISTRIBUTED BY: plied to the duties of the CRC Chapter in the state of

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New Member, $35 Renewal, $35 Sustaining Member, $60 Membership #_ Life Member, $500 Silver Life, $1,000 Sponsor, $125 Gold Life, $2,500 Other, Platinum Life, $5,000 Is tins a new address? Benefits Include: Yes No Quarterly Newsletter "Best Parent..." Name: Bumper Sticker Copy of a National Address: Conference Pro- ceedings City: State. ZIP: FREE telephone conversation with a na- Home Phone: Work Phone: tionallyrecognized expert on Move- Away issues! Date. Much, much more! May we occasionally give your name to other groups for mailings approved by CRC? Yes No Send Application & Contribution to: CRC300 "1"Street, NE Suite 401 "Washington,DC 200024389 Call 202/547-6227 to charge your membership to VISA/Mastercard or AMEX Bulk copies of this newsletter are available (20 for $20, 50 for $40, and 100 for $75) for distribution to policy makers, judges, and interested persons in your state. Send order to CRC 156 4 . , II *4"

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Pale Horse Publishing P.O. Box 1447 Livingston, TX 77351 Phone: 800/646-5590 Fax: 936/967-8962

2 SPEAK OUT 158 Tlie Children's Rights Ctitin,-.: cil (CRC). is arriuternationaL.' non - profit iRS 501 (r)f3Y.: organira)ioii OFFICERS:AND 13:A, o MemPre.s AltyAryvis-::RY Elot.tro Mrorrks based in Washington. D.C. that David:L.:Levy. j,D.. President anci:CE0 Rabbi:Mendel Abrams. D.Min. LS:committed:to:the loving, nur- John L. Hauserman, Jr. J 1LT:1:airman Former Presidem. kloarti of Rabbis of Samuel A.:Brimeili GreaterWaShington. DC wring, protection and critical ion John L. llatiserman Sr. Eloise Anderson. Fire Claremont of thildrenAhrough both parents Tern. Cady Institute. Sacramento. CA andextenderi TeresaI.. Kaiser. j.:3. DaVid:Birney, Actor. Santa Monica CA CRC is dediCated to helping children by prOmoting family:::.:: hi000kuo, PREs.roi.or I fon. Sherwood Boehlert Catherine:Meyer. author. S Congressman 1R-NYi formation, shared parentin!.14:::: wifeof theBritish A moassaclor mediation. and parent, edtica-::' ,) :h.., 1 Mired Srates Jim Cook. President. Joint Cusindy Association. 1.ns Angeles. CA tion. and by mitigating the ef- 71: NEPA: C2UNS:: -Dear Abby" :AbigailVan Buren, fects of divorce and relationship Michael L. Oddenino Los Angeles. CA breakups of children and par- .D-ania CA Karen DeCrow Digic-rA of :1 isArraf, S,Rocr5 :'ureter Prescient of N,0 W CRC's vision is a Allred Ellis :arnesviile,NY where both parents playa sig- Elhott:1Manion° nificant parenting role in their ASSISTANTanti-DRS ::O-Fnunder'::C:..ReStirri. VA children'sliVes. Children need Margaret:Wifwert Mfcicest Mark RosemanEastern Phy4ksDillor, Comer Heroic. grandparents'. step-parents.and LOSAngeles, others who are part of the lam- DIRECTOu or INICAPAREN TS urirt Margorte Engel. Ph . President. AV:fabric. working as a team. Lonnie Perrin, Sr.. former NFL. football Sterna:oilyAssociationof America ;.iayer for Denver Broncos Chicago Bears ;:;;; CRC onvisions::::igSbcietv and Washington Redskins Larry Gatighan. Protessional where laws. atilt uric& and pub- Director. rarnilV (,rcater Washington. 1) C. lic opinon affirm:that for did- OMCE Ms.' -:;is : dren. "The BestParent is Both Julie Maggiacomo Carrera lion. Bob Graham US. Senator D-Fl..) Parents." Sro:!s:r;srahr Ilaciassall Luther, acre 13. Ronald K. I laskins. Ph D. \arional Young Musician Awarir. Winner Senior:Fellow, The Brookings Institution. Senkic:Consulrant.the Annie E. Casey Strengthening Families

tir S.O.CESD.11SZ:NS l'Oundairon through Ernie Meunier. Jennifer I sham. President Education andAdvocacy Cr:and:01r Opry Mothers iVithout.Comoriv (MW/C)C1 and Bet (ye Ashworth CrystafLake. . . : Formed in 1985 by concerned Joan B.:Kett, Ph.D. NA-nratoo parents who had more than 40 Gerald.A. Boarman, Ed I) , ExecuuyeDirector. c:aliforma Dispute Ri?S0111:1011 Institute. Corte Madera. CA years of col leen v e- experience in Acadeinic Education Kubler-Ross. custody reform a ncitailVehild- Judge.:Eragene Elisabeth hood education. CRQ.lias c hap- f:irrner Chief ;neat Psychiatrist. Scottsdale.. 'VaShingron D Superior Court Vicki Lanskv, Author, -tersAn 32:Sratesand>:4 national Eliabeth lfickev, \1.S A..ihor Deephaven. MN affiliate organizations: Mothers Paring etiucat ion James Levine. The FatheihOcxlProject -Without Custnriv Jayne A. Niajor, Ph.D._ Breakthrough Hie Family and Work Institute The,:Stepla mill.' Association of 'arenring New America (SA.A. CoMarnas. and Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Wrir.er lion. Debbie Stabenow Parenting Coalition Interna- Audrey Wise, Ed 0, M A Setiaroril) MO tional. Inc ainilcCounselor/Medi:inn lion. Fred Thompson Prominent professionals in Senator i RAN': EvALlIkIDRS .OFRESEARC, thelieldsof refigior Liam social John Guidubaldh:D Judith S. Wallersrein. Pia) work. psychology, child care. Founcier..;:eitter. for me Family in education; business, and goN,.- ratismon Lorte Madera. CA ernmeni ::Comprise our Family .Advisory: Board. ChildreWs Rights Council Assisting Children of 300 E .101 [email protected] Separated. Divorced. and Washingtpn. DC 20002-389 ebskes: gocrLcom Never-Married.Parenrs 20Z.--547.,6227 info4harenis.corn- Fa.)t::202:;.546.'4272

FOR CHILDREN 5 g BESTCOPY AVAILABLE TABLE OF CONTENTS FROMTHE EDITOR... FAMILY TRANSFER-MATION 5 CURRENT DIVORCE RESEARCH 6 LETTER TO THE EDITOR 7 PRACTICAL ADVICE ON FAMILY 7 Or those of you who have seen previous is- FAMILY LAW 8 sues of "Speak Out for Children." this:issue is GOING PRO SE IN DIVORCE COURT 9 definitely a new look How do youlike it") NEWS FROM WASHINGTON 10 CRC has shifted to a "Newsmagazine format in AROUND THE COUNTRY/ABROAD 12 order to modernize our image. and citable usto MEMBERSHIP FORM 15 -reach more parents and professionals with vital inforMatien. Wewarn CATALOG OF RESOURCES 16 tO provide greater help to the 35 million children whose parentsare CHAPTER/AFFILIATE ORGANIZATION separated. divorced. and never-married. HIGHLIGHTS 27 Our aim is to imprciVe those children's lives. andto make certain INSIDE CRC 28 they grow tip with two fit parents and extended family memberswhen- COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP 29 ever possible. Children raised with two parents are more likely to avoid NTL AFFILIATE ORGS/CHAPTERS 31 crime. drugs. and to do.better.academically. CRC has accompliShed a great dealsince we were formed in 1985. Cover photo... Some of our accomplishments: of Delicia Barnett and Sam Rhames with I CRC has testified more than 20 times heron! CongressionafCom- their son, William, use the service CRC mitteesin favor of access (visitation) politics and programs. shared provides. Photo reprinted with permission parenting, welfare reform that would encourage:-.2-parent fami- of theHyattsville, MDSentinel. lies` Mediation. arid implementation of t he Hague. Convention :against International Parental Kidnapping. Speak Ow for Children is published by Catherine Meyer, the wile of the British Ambassadorto the .U.S.. :he Children's Rights Council. Me Editor and honorary president of CRC. cannot get tobe:--iter two chil- David I.. Levy Contrthutors to this Issues dren Constantin and Alexander. who are being held in Germany Julie lvlaggiacomo Carrera. Paul Robinson. by her first husband, the children's father. Ken SkillIng. Fern Twyrnan. Jeff Carrera, and college student interns Amy Yitung. Filed more than 20 amicus curiae (friend of thecourt briers) in Susquehanna University, Selins Gime, PA support. of a child's right to two parents. One of those briefs jordana Ravick University of Maryland. reached the U.S. Supieme Court. where thecourt upheld the right College Park. Design and layout by Sheila of an unwed biological father toa hearing to :determine if he

Material in this newsletter authored by should have aecess.(yisitat...... ion) rights to hischildren; CRC may be svprintixi without permission Educated Congress onn the need to provideaccess (visitation) dem- provided:the:source (-Reprinted from onstration grants in 6 states as pan. of the 1988 Family Support 'Speak Out Children-) Is given For non Act. RC material. obtain permission: from the copyright:Owner:F.0r further information I Publicized 5th Annual CRC reporton "The Best .States to Raise about CROMemberShip. publicinions. cas- Children." settes. catalog: and:Services. write CRC. 300 / Publicized 2nd annual report in 2001 "1":'St reer:NLE._ Suite:401. Washington. D. C on "The Top 7 States Help- 20002. phone (..202017-6227: fax 1202) 346- ing America's 35 Million Children of Divorceth:Separated and ICRC (1272). NeverMarried Parents". Seven members of Congress attended CRC has::: two websites: CRC's Press Conference in the Gold Room of the Rayburn Office www gocrc.com :(otn main CRC site) and infolparems.com Mir expanded parenting Building in July. 2001 where we announced the:.seven winning informatiOn). CRC's email address. states. citilcVerols.tom 'Speak Out for Children' Continued Developing "Safe Haven- Child Transfer Centers for is:published four times:a year:: families in 6 states (IL. MD. OH. VA. NC. CT) arid Washington. Solna iotion Information D.C. Annual subscription $15.00. Indi- We have all suffered shocks after the September I lterrorist acts; and tidual copy. S3 93 at your bookstore or lo- the horrible Anthrax attacks. After these attacks. thereseems to be more carnews-stand. Free to CRC members.., recognition of the importance of family and staying in touch with loved MeMbershiP is 335 a year. ',..ibran; Rate. $20 yeav,:iiidividual and subscription cop- ones. We have even heard of the divorce rate going down inone juris- ieSare 5.000: Readership exceeds 20.000. diction in Texas, as parents reassess what theywant out afire. We must help the most defenseless of our citizens.our childrem through these Editorial Pclicy difficult times. The CRC motto is "The, Best Parent is Both:Parents.- !..etters..cOrnments anifarticles are weicturie. Welcome. Old Readers. and New Readers alike. Mayour children Send. to Editor. C.RC: publisher reserves the . right:1n approve for Tr/agentAdvertising growup to be the happy. healthy adults:they were meant to be. inquiries welcome through pi inlisher.

ISSN.1042-3559 c C Vol :16 No 3

4 SPEAK OUT 160 BEST COPY AVAILABLE AMILY TRANSFER-MATION: CRC ESTABLISHES 17 "SAFE HAVENS : +1ILE)

The Children's Rights Council and its chapterssuch as the Washington, D.C. location at a YMCA. have established 17 Safe Haven Sites for children "CRC was reaching out to the in six states Maryland, Virginia, Connecticut,faith-based community four years before the faith-based community Illinois, Ohio and North Carolina and Washington,became a national issue," said CRC D.C. Board ChairmanJohn L. Thirteen of those sites are loca-Bauserman, Jr., J.D. Many of the tions where parents exchange theirvolunteer monitors at the sites are children between them for a week-members of the churches. end between Friday and Sunday At CRC's longest-running site in evening, and four provide super-Prince George's County, just outside vised access on Saturday mornings.northeast Washington, D.C., at St. Almost all of the parents who useMatthew's Episcopal Church, more the sites are referred by judges, law-than 5,000 transfers have taken place CRC was surprised to find that yers, or mental health professionals.in five years. about 40% of the parents who "Over the past four years, CRC "The transfers eliminate the 'he/ use the sites are never-married, has created a niche for providingsaid' she/said" arguments that poi- and about 35% are mothers who these community based services,"son the courts," said Family Divi- do not have primary care of their said Al Ellis, CRC Director of Childsion Master Sherman West of Prince children. Access Services. George's County. CRC is expanding, and expects CRC volunteers monitor the to have more than 20 such sitestransfers to make certain they pro- available for families by early 2002.ceed without incident. One parent Several of the sites are funded bydelivers the child to the site on Fri- the courts, child support offices,day evenings, usually between 7 state grants, and private founda-and 8 p.m. and waits until the other tions. "Increasingly, child supportparent arrives about 15 minutes offices encourage emotional as welllater. Two days later, on Sunday, as financial child support from bothusually between 6 and 7 p.m., the parents, part of the change in childparent with the child over the week- support philosophy over the pastend returns the child to the center several years," said CRC Presidentfor the other parent to pick up. David L. Levy. Some parents are seeing their "However, we establish somechildren for the first time because of CRC sites without any fundingthese sites. "I know of many parents sources, because we want to providewho have been grateful because a community service," said Ellis.they are seeing their child for the "We also find that once sites are infirst time in six months, a year, or place, funding follows." longer," said Margaret Wuwert, When parents appear before aCRC Assistant Child Access Direc- judge, there is often a disagreementtorMidwest Region. "For some between the parents as to whetherparents, this is the first time they access (visitation) has taken place.have ever seen their child, because The judge, not knowing which par-the other parent is bringing the child ent to believe, sometimes assigns theto the site on Friday evening for the weekend transfer to take place at aexchange." Mark police station, but if a friendlier lo- Roseman cation exists, such as one operated Many Moms Use Sites by CRC, the judges will refer the family to those sites. CRC was surprised to find that about 40% of the parents who use Church Day Care Center Sitesthe sites are never-married, and about 35% are mothers who do not Most CRC's sites are at churches, but others are in community centers, Continued on page 21

FOR CHILDREN 5 161 1...1A RRENT DIVIOR E RE EARCH

PARALLEL PARENTING STRATEGIES: KEYS FOR SUCCCESS IN HIGH CONFLICT DIVORCES PRESENTATION AT CRC's 13TH NATIONAL CONFERENCE, MAY 2001 RICHARD H. MIKESELL, PH.D., WASHINGTON DC

Preface by John L. Bauserman,most essential approach to separa-the focus needs to be on the actions J.D., CRC Board Chairman tion and divorce at all levels of con-of each individual parent, particu- Parallel parenting offers judges,flict. larly when the children are with that attorneys and parents involved in parent, but even when they are with high conflict cases a means of con- Itisthisthe other parent. A critical step in ceptualizing custody and divorce author's con-parallel parenting is "not telling the arrangements, which still allows a tention that theother parent how to parent" and child to enjoy the benefits of fre- beginning of adisengaging (not arguing back) quent and continuing contact with separation andwhen the other parent tells you how both parents. divorce processto parent. (Stahl, 2000) Under a parallel parenting ap- is evidence that proach, both parents can enjoy the the marital co- For effective parallel parenting to benefits of shared parenting, but parenting is not occur the focus needs to be on have the decision-making authority Richard effective, at the actions of each individual expressly allocated between them. Mikesel I least in some parent Parallel parenting is a rebuttal to ways. It may be those critics who say sharedfolly to presume that a set of par- There are both positive and nega- parenting or joint custody can'tents who are not an effectivetive effects on parallel parenting work in high conflict situations. Asparenting team before a separationwhich are outlined in the table on reported in 1995 by Sec. 16 (Divisionand divorce process begins, can nowpage 24. of School Psychology) of the Ameri-in the midst of the turmoil of sepa- In the literature and lore of sepa- can Psychological Association, jointration and divorce, with probableration anddivorce,parallel custody is associated with reducedconflict over parenting plans, fi-parenting is not really new. Typi- relitigation costs, as well as superiornances, legal issues etc., function ascally, it is the default model when child adjustment outcomes. effective co-parents. co-parenting does not work. How- As CRC members and profes ever, it may well be more effective sionals familiar with the social sci- Under a parallel parenting ap- to start with the parallel parenting ence literature on high conflict cases proach, both parents can enjoy model at the onset of a separation will recall, Frank Williams, M.D. of the benefits of shared parenting, and divorce process, when conflict the Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los An- but have the decision-making au- over financial and legal issues pre- geles, reported in 1988 that the best thority expressly allocated be- dominates and then, if appropriate, approach for high-conflict families tween them. work towards a co-parenting model. was to avoid a "parentectomy" Mikesell, Lusterman & McDaniel the removal of a parent from a As explained by McBride, J.(1995) have elaborated on how a child's life. Of equal importance,(2000), in cooperative parentingsystems therapy approach to con- Williams recommended to the"parents work together in the bestflict resolution takes into account American Bar Association Familyinterests of the child", while in par-not only the thoughts, feelings and Law Committee that the best ap-allel parenting "parents work sepa-behavior of the participants in the proach for high conflict families wasrately for the best interests of thenuclear family system (both parents joint custody with highly structuredchild". Additionally, as explainedand children), but also the larger visitation and decision-making au-by Allen, R.M., Kristensen, N.,system and context. During separa- thority allocated evenly betweenLewis, T.A., Neil, N.J., Onstad, P.,tion and divorce the interactions parents. When the courts enter aTralle, M.L., and Washington, V.A.with and influences of the larger highly-structured order, this re-(1997), in parallel parenting, one orsystem and context are particularly duces the possibility of continuingboth parents "clearly accept respon-critical to successful interventions. conflict. sibility as a parent and assume it is When working with families un- While parallel parenting has itstheir personal duty to make deci-dergoing separation and divorce, it most obvious application in highsions about their children". For ef- conflict divorces, it is a useful, al-fective parallel parenting to occur Continued on page 24

6 SPEAK OUT 162 Letter to the Editor

Editor:

I had been trying to get a copy of my daughter's school records for three years. The school kept saying they would not send me her report cards or other information about how she was doing in school. Finally, I phoned CRC. A CRC representative called an official in the U.S. Depart- ment of Education, and together, they phoned the principal at my daughter's school in a 3-way phone conversa- don.

They explained that federal law (FERPAthe Federal Education Rights and Privacy Act) requires public schools to make a child's records available to the non-custodial SESAME WORKSHOP. parent. The school sent me my daughter's report card and other information the very next day! I am making it easier Terrorand:death werethe:overwhelming for the school by sending them a batch of self-addressed themes:41a poll:of children' ages:6 to11: who:: stamped envelopes so they can regularly send me infor- were askedlo.picture:likesi:dislikes; .hopes mation in the future. Thanks, CRC! and:fears.

Sam Love North Dakota Kids. Traveling in Light of the September 11 Tragedy Ohio Goes Non-Stop Aight,of- the:September I li:tragedy,::rnotherS The CRC Northwest Ohio andfathers.are cuttingback. on:traveling ::Kit.the:: Chapter's efforts were instrumen- real: problem. regarding traveling :may: be for: tal in securing the Governor of dren..:especially:childrenwhose -parents,ardsepa- Ohio's declaration of the last week rated:- divorced;: or never-married. If one.:parent of September as "Parents' Week" liVessay,::in:CalifOrnia,:and:thedther parentlivesh throughout Ohio. It's theme, "You tu:New-Nork. wilkhe New York. parent:with -the Gotta Love Parents" was printed on :child want to send the child to California?:-We :rec-, purple ribbons. "Parents' Week" ommend:that the.visits::continue:: but with added included Equal Parents' Week ac- care and precautions. Congresswoman tivities in the Toledo area, where The alternative is to go visit your child:I-his will Kaptur 40,000 purple ribbons were distrib- create:more of anartificiatatmosphere. if:You:have uted. Employees of major grocery tdrent amotel,-and costmore.as:well. But:it is an chains wore purple ribbons, and ribbons were distrib- attractive alternative to:a::young:child..traveLling uted at local churches. A "Kick Off Rally" was held at alone:,.Parents may-wish to split. the costs ;:. . the Main Toledo Library, with Sidney Ribeau, the Presi- We.:also ask parents who:are:Considering: mov-, dent of Bowling Green State University as guest ing the::child..some:.distance- away:from:the:other speaker. parent to reconsider the.rnOveaway..Childrenneed A panel discussion at the Toledo Main Library in- the:-cloSe:-proximity of bdth mom: and .dad, :espe- cluded mayors, state senators, state representatives, tially as:to cut down onthe riskSof traveL:We ask and judges, addressing the role of government in as- you to remain in- the area where the child lives, sisting family and parents. Other panels were also held whether. you are:the moat thedad, and:Whether on family issues. you have custody or not .Children are born: with: An Equal Parents Week dinner was attended by love-and -need both parents, and:extended farnily Judges David Lewandowski and Joseph Flores, a staff Also:: the.airlines generally say thata'chiid.5 member for Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur (D-OH), years or older can travel alone. We recommend that sheriffs, representatives of three churches where CRC the:airlines consider statingthat:age 7 is.the:mini- Ohio Coordinator Margaret Wuwert has opened trans- Mum, age: when. a- child :May. travelalone:::. fer sites, Lucas County Commissioner Sandy Isenberg, God: Bless America Jerry Anderson, the anchor of CBS-TV affiliate WTOL, and David L. Levy (see pg. 13).

FOR CHILDREN 7 163BEST COPY AVAILABLE Convention should be applied in SIGNIFICANT COURT CASES an even-handed way, for the benefit of children). Supreme Court Won't Intervene in International Child Custody Fight Parent's Sex May be Dallas News, 10/9/2001 Factor in Citizenship, Supreme Court Rules The U.S. Supreme Court has refused to intervene in The government may make it more difficult for chil- a child custody case between a New York mother anddren born out of wedlock overseas to U.S. citizen fa- a father in Hong Kong that tested the boundaries of anthers to claim citizenship than for the children of Ameri- international treaty. can mothers, the Supreme Court rules June 11, 2001. The father wanted the court to consider for the first The rejected by 5-4 a claim that the different treat- time a case concerning how America handles the Haguement violates the constitutional guarantee of equal pro- Convention against child abduction. tection. The United States is among more than 60 countries The court majority held that, in adopting different that follow the treaty, which is designed to preventrules depending on whether the mother or father was parents from taking children to other countries to geta U.S. citizen, Congress was attempting to ensure that around child custody orders. such children have a clear biological and social attach- In this case, Stephen Croll accused his ex-wife, Meiment to their U.S. citizen parent, and therefore was Yee Croll, of secretly moving their daughter from Hongengaging in a constitutional acceptable form of gender Kong to America. discrimination. After the couple filed for divorce in 1998, a Hong Women's groups filed a friend of the court brief sup- Kong judge said that Christina Croll could not be re-porting equal treatment of both mothers and fathers. moved from that country until she turned 18 or unless"We tried to show that a lot of what this is based on is there was permission from the court or consent fromhistorical discrimination," said Nancy Duff Campbell the other parent. of the National Women's Law Center. A federal judge in New York ordered the mother to The law in question says children born out of wed- return Christina to Hong Kong. where she was born inlock abroad to mothers who are U.S. citizens may be- 1990 and had lived her entire life. come citizens almost automatically. In the case of chil- A divided panel of the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Ap-dren of U.S. citizen father's however, one of several le- peals disagreed and said the treaty can only be usedgal steps must be taken first to establish paternity when a child has been moved to another country in vio-before the child reaches the age of 18. lation of a parent's custodial rights. The court said the Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, in the court opinion, father had "rights of access" but not "rights of custody."wrote, "There is noting irrational or improper in the "Whether or not the Hague Convention will pro-recognition that at the moment of birtha critical event vide a remedy for a left-behind parent in the many casesin the statutory scheme and in the whole tradition of involving court orders restraining removal ofcitizenship law - the mother's knowledge of the child children...is a fundamental and important aspect of theand the fact of parenthood have been established in a convention," the father's attorney told the court in urg-way not guaranteed in the case of the unwed father. ing it to consider the case. This is not a stereotype." Mei Yee Croll has claimed that the man she was Dissenters argued that gender neutral alternatives married to for 16 years was physically abusive to her.to the law could easily be devised and emphasized She said that after taking their daughter to New Yorkthat modern DNA testing can establish paternity reli- in 1999, she never returned because she feared sheability, even if a father is not present at the child's birth. would be arrested. Dissenters were Justices Sandra Day O'Connor, "Christina, unquestionably, was brought to thisDavid H. Souter, Stephen G. Bryer and Ruth Bader country by her custodial parent," her lawyer said. Ginsberg. The attorney said Stephen Croll never sought sole or joint custody but to qualify under the treaty he "wants to transform his rights of access into a right of Child Support Reduction at Age of Majority custodyagain without burdening himself with du- Child support arrearages were properly assessed ties that correspond with such rights." against a father who reduced his support payments The mother, father and daughter are American citi-when two of his three children reached majority, even zens but have lived in Hong Kong. The treaty said thatthough his support Agreement envisioned such reduc- children should be returned to the country of "habitualtions, the Virginia Court of Appeals ruled February 27. residence." The father should have sought court modification of (CRC needs volunteers to work with the State Depart- ment, and Hague Convention officials, to explain why the Continued on page 25

8 SPEAK OUT .64 Helpful Info

TheresaMeeham Rudy, irony The Legal Reformer: published by-HALT Contact Other CRC WashingtolvD.C.. Spring200 I issue. Members by E -mail

Not toalOng ago if you :wanted.to gera divorce even an uncoil-- Send and receive e-mail from tested divorce vou needed to hire a lawyer or face huge obstacles in other CRC members around the court trying to do it yourself (pro se.t. Not so anymore. country. If you arc a CRC mem- According to the Florida State Cot rt:Administrator's office. in: ber, e-mail the following mes- nearly 65 percent of Florida divorces:in:2000. one or both spouses rep- sage to Harry Prillaman. CRC reSented themselves in court. In Ati±tina;:the number of self-repre-:: Coordinator for Georgia,, who is sented individuals in divorce.casesrosefrOm 25 percent in 1989 to 50": supervising the membership list percent in 1985 to 88 percent In 1:990.In 1998, California's courts His email,SF,address is handled nearly 162.000 family law:cases. More than half (52 percent) [email protected] of the cases had at least one unrepresented:client. Deal' Harry. I am a national Courts all over the country .are responding to this huge army of pro CRC member whOVouldfiketajoin se litigants by establishing self -help centers right within their court build- the crc-generalOyahoogroups. COM ings In Broward County. Florida. for example. a self-help unit was cre- &unbutton list. ated:six:years ago and last. year:helped:2;65G pro sel ingants. The unit is::: CalFthe:RC national office sraffedWith people specially drained: workShops and provide:: at 202-547-6227 or fax 202 -546- general:legal information. Similar offices exist in other states. including 4272 oremail CRCat California and Arizona. Serne:are mini libraries complete with do-it- [email protected] to make sure vourseir forms. hooks. softWare and:educational videos. your -national membership is For those who do not live in a county or stale that promotes the.: current self help ethic. there's always the IfiterneLA quick search under "Do It Yourself Divorce'. calls up scores of websites offering everything c-gtt,6:9%,etts, from legal hotline contact numbers. to support groups for people. representing themselves in court. Many provide state-specific::. downloadable forms and general advice on how to fill them out. CRC Membership Highlight Information for filing your own divorce caseespecially if it's tin- contestedis plentiful, no matter where you live. thanks to books and Get the CRC VISA Credit software kits written for a national !audience. Card, and obtain a low 3 9 per- If:you don't want to do: it: involved in acrimonious: cent introductory rate. The credit litigation. you can still turnAG:alternatiye-ciispute resolution. A new card displays the..CRC logo. and proceeding called collaboratiVelaw helOsspouses divorce without the CRC receives a contribu- expense:or emotional costs involved Each side gets to tioneverYtiMe.Siouyou use the card :- hirean:attorney to help::negotiate>the dissolution but neither side can:: CRC receives more if you break initiate:litigation or even: threaten:do:so. If they do:tioth attorneys up a large purchase into several are disqualified from anyfinifier: involVeMent in thecase. For more:: small purchases. For an appli- inforMation on collaborative 1aw,and,whOre to find a collaborative cation.. contact CRC, orall law attorney check HALT's wribSite..wwwhalt..org. HALT stands for . MBNA at 1-800-523-7666. If you Help Abolish Legal Tyranny have trouble obtaining approval. contact. CRC: we cant guarantee approval.butwe will:gladly try. CRC Needs WANTED IFree or reduced rent office space. Get a tax write- off as you help kids and CRC. 2,000 square feet Change of Address or more anywhere in the Washington, D.C. area (Maryland, D.C. or Virginia) Please notify CRC three weeks in advance of any address *- Volunteers to help with filing, phone calls, and change.--5end old and new ad- writing letters. dresses' to CRC. 300 "1" Street N.E. Suite 401. kVashington, DC Our chapters need computers and office space .or email..usat [email protected] Lawyers to write CRC Amicus Briefs on appeal.

FOR CHILDREN 9 1 6 5 BEST COPY AVAILABLE EWS FROM WASHINGTON PERSONALITIES

Wallerstein, Haskins New CRC Advisors trauma, issues of access (visitation), kidnapping Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D., widelyand custody issues, and considered the world's foremostphobias in children. The authority on the effects of divorcemost pressing current is- on children, and Ron Haskins,sue is how to ensure that Ph.D., widely noted authority onchildren have face contact with both parents even if family issues and welfare reform,they are living on opposite sides of the country. have agreed to become Advisors to the Children's Rights Council. They join "Dear Abby," several Horn, Heller New Child Support Bosses Judith members of Congress, and other Wade Horn, Ph.D. has been con- Wallerstein experts on CRC's Family Advisory firmed by the U.S. Senate as As- Board. sistant Secretary of Health and Wallerstein, co-author of "The Unexpected Legacy Human Services for Family Sup- of Divorce: a 25 Year Landmark Study," is founder of port. Horn, well known in Wash- the Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Tran- ington as a former HHS official sition, in Corte Madera, CA. for President Bush's father, gave Wallerstein is a senior lecturer emerita at the up the office of president of the School of Social Welfare at the University of Califor- National Fatherhood Initiative nia, and was co-author with Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. of Wade Horn (NFI) in order to accept the gov- Surviving the Breakup, one of the seminal books on ernment position. (The new divorce published in 1980. Dr. Kelly is also a CRCpresident of NFI is Roland C. Warren in Gaithersburg, Advisor. M D). Horn is in charge of the Child Support Enforce- Haskins is former Republican staffment Office. director for the House Human Re- sources Subcommittee, the commit- Under Horn, the new Commis- tee that deals with welfare reform, sioner in charge of the nation- access (visitation) and financial wide child support system is child support issues. He is now a Sherri Z. Heller, Ed.D. She was senior fellow at the Brookings In- named to that post in September, stitution in Washington, D.C., and 2001 by the Bush Administration. a senior consultant to the Annie E. Mrs. Heller is former Deputy Sec- Ronald Casey Foundation in Baltimore. retary for Income Maintenance Haskins "CRC is delighted to have Both under Governor Tom Ridge in Ron Haskins and Judith Wallerstein Sherri Heller Pennsylvania's Department for as CRC's newest advisors," said CRC President Public Welfare. Heller managed David L. Levy. the Pennsylvania child support program statewide through cooperative agreements with 67 county domestic relations offices. CRC Spokesperson: The Wise Woman In the Clinton Administration, the federal child support office, under Commissioner David Gray Audrey Wise, Ph.D. child and family counselorRoss, took the lead in promoting family friendly ap- and mediator, is a national spokesperson for CRC.proaches that encouraged 2 parent participation in She does frequent media interviews on TV, radio, andchildren's lives post-divorce. CRC hopes that Ms. in the print media. She is based in New York. In aHeller will continue the policy of seeing the typical month, September, 2001, she appeared inCommissioner's job as not just collecting support, many media outlets, including MSNBC, Fox News,but also as an avenue to encourage parenting by both WCBS-TV, WOR Radio, WABC Radio, the New Yorkmothers and dads who are separated, divorced, or Daily News, and Court TV. She is interviewed on anever married. Such a policy, according to govern- variety of issues, often pegged to breaking news. Inment data, not only improves parenting for children, the aftermath of September 11, 2001, she has beenbut leads to higher financial child support compli- asked to comment on children who experienceance, as well.

10 SPEAK OUT 166 LEGISLATION, BILLS, AND PROCLAMATIONS

Welfare Reform The Welfare Reform Law, also known as TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families) was passed by Congress in 1996, and is due to expire by We need your help to get the following changes the end of 2002. So the law must be "re-authorized" into the Welfare Reform Reauthorization Act. next year, as Congress is expected to do, in order to maintain the reforms started in 1996. The 1996 ini- What CRC seeks in the re-authorization bill is for tiative, led by former House Speaker Newt Gingrichthe access grants to be expanded from $10 million a and the Republicans in Congress under their "Con-year to $40 million a year. We also seek language in tract with America," was endorsed by then Presidentthe bill to say that "states must provide 25 percent of Clinton on the legislation's third attempt at passage.the their access funds to non-profit organizations Welfare Reform banned welfare as an entitlement,whose mission is to facilitate access between children and made it a time-limited program. Congress put aand their non-custodial parents." 5 year cap on welfare payments to any one recipient. Write to your House Member and Senators, asking for As a result, the welfare rolls across the nation havethis amendment. Call the local office of your Senators and dropped by 25 percent to 50 percent over the years.House members to get their fax or email addresses, so long The federal government and the states have provided as the problems with mail security continue. safety nets for poor families in the form of day care vouchers, medical assistance, housing, and other benefits. New Bush Administration Fatherhood Bill The Welfare Reform Act contains the $10 million a year for access (visitation) programs. Under that The Bush Administration has introduced its own provision, each state receives a minimum of $100,000,version of the Fatherhood Bill, H.R. 2893, that appears with the average state grant (figured by population)to mean that the previously submitted fatherhood bills about $185,000 per year. The largest states, like Cali-are now out of favor. The Bush version was introduced fornia, Florida and Illinois, receive $500,000 or moreby Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA), the chairman of the each year. powerful House Human Resources Subcommittee, the The $10 million is provided in the 1996 Welfarebody that will consider what bill to recommend to Reform Act "to establish and administer programsthe full House. to support and facilitate non-custodial parents' ac- The legislation was to have been considered in the cess to and visitation of their children by means ofFall of 2001, but the delays in domestic legislation be- activities including mediation (both voluntary andcause of September 11 means the bill will not have mandatory), counseling, education, development ofhearings or a vote until Spring, 2002. parenting plans, visitation enforcement (including monitoring, supervision and neutral drop-off and The proposed Fatherhood Bill, H.R. 2893, provides pick-up) and development of guidelines for visita- $64 million for each of five years, starting in 2002 tion and alternative custody arrangements." The $10 million has grown to $50 million because The bill provides $64 million for each of five years, five years worth of block-grants have been distrib-starting in 2002 "for a broad array of demonstrations uted to the states. Block grants mean that the statesaddressed at four broad goals: (1) to promote respon- can organize and manage the money, so long as theysible, caring, and effective parenting (2) to encourage provide one or more of the services provided byand help fathers to support their families and avoid Congress. The courts, child support agencies, andwelfare by helping them to take advantage of employ- other agencies of state government administer thement related programs and supporting regular pay- funds. Some states have contracted with non-profitment of child support, (3) to improve fathers' ability organizations to administer some of the programs. to manage family business affairs, and (4) to encour- The $10 million a year was an outgrowth of theage and support healthy marriages and married fa- first ever Congressional funding for access programstherhood." - $3 million in demonstration projects in the 1988 Of particular interest to groups that run CRC-type Family Support Act, for which CRC is credited asprograms, such as transfer of children sites, media- being the catalyst. The 1988 demonstration projectstion and hotlines for referrals, a provision in H.R. 2893 proved so successful that the funding was expandedsays the bill is "to promote responsible, caring and to $10 million a year for all the states to share in as part of the 1996 Welfare Reform Act. Continued on page 26

FOR CHILDREN 11 167 "I still have these petitions to deliver to President A Crusder. Bush." who:::ih: 197VT founciOd::the: Stepfamily: sociatiOn: of America with her hiisbarid,: \fisher:: 14 year old Clayton Giles Bikes 3,600 for Kids Rights tober..5.:*at age:. Fourteen-year-old Clayton Giles rode his bicycle 3,600 miles from his hometown of Calgary Alberta, Canada, to Washington, D.C., via dozens were.tryingtointegate of towns and cities along the way. with four children In each:: Theywere In Washington, he sought to present President Bush with a petition in convinced thatthe..:tasks..VkitildhaVe:. favor of shared parenting, signed by thousands of people whom he met been easier....With.support.:and::assfs,: along his bicycle route. The horror of September 11th arrived soon after thrice:. :... .. ::. I }tanks to the;Vishers: conviction. Clayton reached Washington, making a meeting with President Bush im- .Stepfamity::::::AssoCiatiortHof.: possible then, but he still hopes to present his collected petitions to the America:. was: formed:. and:' itsirst::: President in the future. :Board: of DireetOrs:meeting:was A police escort, with sirens flashing, escorted Clayton the last 10 miles of his trip from the Maryland/DC line to the "Zero Milestone" where a Peoplewere...... so happy tohaVesorne:-...... small group, including CRC President David L. Levy welcomed him. The 'onel.o:talY:witt-i:.:Who. Understood: 'Zero Milestone'-on the Ellipse between the White House and The Mall- :.where.:they werecoming from: is the point from which all US highway distance measurements start. SAA.ithapters:.now:ekiStin.most: Along his route, which included Boston and the United Nations, he states: as::wellasAni: seven::: frireign.: generated interest, publicity, and support. Clayton said his bike ride, called countries:: Ernily::wonntimerous..ai.Ords:for:: "Journey for Kids," was dedicated to every child of separation or divorce. her work.vvithstepfamilieled more,: "We want those who have the power to make decisions for us to consider than 300 Wprkshops, mostly .With her:: the child's input and adopt the principle that, except in extraordinary cases, husbandciopg with..step parenting should always be shared by both our parents," said Clayton. .dynamicsiand:therapeutic.sttategies. "Access to both our parents is the human right of every child." in:::the:::1..S..;:SAA,,is.the.OnlY rn On September 8, about 40 people attended a "Meet Clayton Fundraiser" .tiOnalnot7fOr-profit MemberShip or party at the home of Clayton's D.C. coordinator. "At the party, we saw the We:tove:inade:greatstride: there is:: bike more closely. Clayton's dad said it cost about $2,500. They had to spend that much to obtain a bike that would not break down every rrruch:Vciork.tO:.do.;.71 presi. couple hundred of miles. He had five spills while biking and wore through dent:Margorie:Engel . 7 Eiritly.:Was:.dynami6.::and::in two tires," said Harvey Walden, Maryland CRC coordinator. ,:spired..;.:She:continued to attend: SAN: Clayton's ride was backed up by a large, rented Winnebago. This is where ..:13Oard:meetings;:itateachandtalead.:: Clayton slept, and where his support teamhis dad and others, prepared Workshdps aSpartrof her concern for.the: meals, provided food and water, and handled logistics for Clayton. millitins.:OUstepfarnikies:iry. "It became clear, from seeing the bike, the Winnebago, the several com- Said:CRC President David puters needed, and hearing about the logistics, that the trip had cost many L.LevrVhOts:a:rnember of the SAA thousands of dollars," said Levy. "This is one amazing young man," said Board::: ..:.:.: Walden. "EMily'S::.htisband dren:and::::s.tep4iildren respectfully: Clayton's arrival in Washington was covered by CBS-TV and ABC's .request that.memorial contributions:: local affiliate, with a combined audience of about 100,000 people. be madetoSAA:to.tupport.thwork-.. For those who wish to find out more about the trip, possible future She dearly:!lOVed;:kaid:.E1-10ii.SAX. plans, or help with remaining unpaid bills, please go to Clayton's website, www.legalkids.com

12 SPEAK OUT BEST COPY AVAILABLE 1 R .01%1 . .

Events:in Brazil and Elsewhere-:-' IAssociation:oESeparatedParent$::Ridcrande RS::. Brazil. Jose .NeStor of APASE said there was public vigil: in: Belo::Horizonte With hundreds of people. We:had coverage at. the most important

V TV News prograrnjornal da Globo from Clobo .relevision.JVUniyersitia. and TV Bandeirantes. Tiempo newspaper;:and Agora newspaper in Rio.. Grande Dad, grandma, and child at Alabama I Parent and Child Advocacy Coalition. (PCAC). Family Rights Association candlelight vigil Prince George. British Columbia. Canada. Art in Huntsville, AL, September 25. Equal Parents' Weekrally was held Sept. 24 at the Kamloops courthouse. Parents of Broken Families 0 11 : ac (host group):alongwith Parentianci. Child Advo- cacy Coalition. and Parents' Ccialition of British

41.1;*1.1.::M.... Columbia dreW 35 people who marched through P4ti Diroff the court hOuse and had a great impact. The event was advertised in iwolocal papers. t v and radio. CRC Equal Parente-Week Coordinator I Equitable Child Maintenance and Access Society::' People in 22 states. along with eight foreign (ECMAS). Edmonton.Alberta CANADA.:: countries, tied purple ribbons and held candlelight ECMAS Edmontohand Grandparents Unlimited vigilsand other activities to observe CRC's 4th held a vigil:,outsiddthe office of the Federal Jus- annual Equal Parent's Week (n EPW"), September tice Minister.:Jhe :Hdnorable Anne McLellan. 24-30. 2001. which waSfilMed tiVia:TV station. 630 CHED ra- EPW advocates that dio merit toned the vigitthe next morning at every / parental rights and responsibilities be shared newscast for a couple hours. The mayorhof equally by unrnarried:parents: Edmonton proclairried:Sept. 25. 2001 Equal Par-. I The Best. Parentis Both Parents" should be- ents' Day. come an international:Mandate: and ThdPurple ribbon is the symbol that sends .1 Vermont DadS helda rally in Rutland. VT and re-:: this Message. ceived presoveragelrom the Rutland Herald. Public events. "Hdine-VigiWand other activi- which included a photo with captions. Many pass-- ties were held in Alabama.. California; Connecti- mg mot orists.:support the effort by..honking their: cut. FloritiaGeorgia. KentuckyAaine: Massachu- horns. setts;:MiChigan. Minnesota::MisSouri. Nebraska. New Thrk. North Carolina. 'Ohio, PennsylVania, I The Equal Parenting:. CRC L;K Chapter Texas. Vermont. Virginia. Washington. West Vir- held three candlelight. vigils one outside the ginia., and Wisconsin. home of Dame. Elisabeth But :Ier Sloss. President FOurteen public eventsin conjunction with of the Family DiVisiOn,(UK). which had been pub Home Vigils". were held in:Argentina. Australia. licized by the locataete paper the day before: a Brazik,Canada. England, Ireland. Nigeria. and vigil in Bristol. England held by Allen Anson out-:: Thailand. side the main entrance to the BristOIC Museum.: Denial of access to and:alienation front your chil- that attractedseveral strangers whd had problems. dren; and unjust depriVation of parental rights, are gaining access to theirchildren: the third vigil was,, human rights violations-that!Canno longer remain in Cardiff outside a judge's house. hidden: TheSe issues are longOverchie to he inves- tigated:publicized arid eliminated. / PACE. Columbus. Ohio held its vigil across from- ASUrvey recently:Conclutted by the Arneriean:: the state Capitol in Coliimbus Grout) leader Don Cdalition for Fathers and Children found that 90.5% Hubin said the morning of the vigil. every state: of noncustodial parents consider the::amount of legislator was c- mailed information. and one leg time with their children:granted by courts inad- islator. Diana fessler of Miami County. joined the.: equate: 82.'0% have experienced access and visita- vigil and said-She would introduce legislation that tiondeniaL:and in 82.3:% ofthese cases. courts did the group wanted. noihingt o enforce access:(visitat.ion). Com inued on page 27

FOR CHILDREN 13 BEST COPY A.VAILA 1 t3 9 TATES RECEIVE AWARDS

s. Maryland ay Ray was a teenage father when he went to jail on a felony conviction for 17 years. By the time he was released two years ago, he Connecticut Lieutenant Governor Jodi Re II accepts CRC's "Best owed the state of Maryland $14,000 State Award" for children from Mark Roseman, CRC Connecticutin child support to defray the cost coordinator, and John Kristoff, CRC's Connecticut social director. of welfare for his children and their mothers. Seven states received awards Mark Roseman, CRC Connecti- Today, Ray, which is not his real from the Children's Rights Councilcut Coordinator, accepted on behalfname, is part of a pilot program on July 25, 2001 "for their dedica-of the state of Connecticut. The fol-started by Maryland child-support tion through new laws and initia-lowing day, Roseman, John Kristoffofficials to 'leverage' his $14,000 tives to preserve the family struc-and Cathy Schwartz-Feldman, Con-debt. ture." necticut CRC board members, pre- Under the program, Ray had to The awards were for parent edu-sented the award in a private cer-graduate from a community-based cation programs, child access andemony in Hartford to Lieutenantprogram that teaches job readiness mediation programs, and moreGovernor Jodi Rell. Connecticutor responsible fatherhood, get a job shared parenting for children andGovernor John Rowland was onand make child-support arrange- families. 2001 marks the second yearvacation with his children (an ex-ments for six months. in a row that CRC has presentedcuse CRC could not find fault with) In return, the state erased 25 per- these awards. and could not attend. cent of Ray's debt. The winning states were Con- Various media sources covered According to Teresa Kaiser, necticut, Maryland, Minnesota,the event. Maryland's child support director, New Hampshire, Tennessee, Texas, if Ray participates in the program Virginia and New Hampshire, Con- Connecticut again, and remains responsible, all necticut received top honors as the of his state debt could be gone. "Best of the Best." for having one of the highest Child-support debt is supposed rates of shared parenting (joint cus-to be unforgivable. Under a federal Connecticut received top honors tody) in the U.S. Connecticut nowlaw championed by former Senator as the "Best of the Best." requires parenting education pro-Bill Bradley of New Jersey, judges grams for separated and divorcedare forbidden from retroactively re- Seven members of Congress ac-parents to raise awareness concern-ducing or forgiving child-support. cepted the awards for their states ating the impact of divorce and re-While this law was intended to stop the press conference, held in thestructuring of families on children.judges from unilaterally wiping out Gold Room of Rayburn House Of-The program includes discussion ofdebt based on parents' sob stories, fice Building. They were Rep. Eddiechild developmental stages, adjust-it also had the unintended conse- Bernice Johnson (D-TX), head of thement of children after parental sepa-quence of creating a debt meter that Congressional Black Caucus: Rep.ration, conflict management, accesscouldn't be stopped. This applies Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX), Rep.guidelines, stress reduction for chil-even to parents who are hospital- Nick Lampson (D-TX), Rep. Martindren and shared parenting. ized for months, given long prison Sabo (R-MN), Rep. Van Hilleary (R- Also, Connecticut passed a lawsentences, or taken hostage in for- TN), Rep. Dennis Moore (D-MN),requiring parents under eighteeneign countries. and Rep. Nancy Johnson (R-CT).years of age to live with a parent or Maryland's initiative helps par- Also accepting awards were Mary-legal guardian while raising theirents in these situations to get back land officials Emelda Johnson, direc-child (ren). This law helps encourageon track and remain a part of their tor of the state Department of Hu-responsible parenting, provideschildren's lives. man Resources, and Teresa Kaiser,support for young parents, and pro- state child support director. motes family values. Continued on page 23

14 SPEAK OUT 170 15RiWit oulici

Yes!I want to join CRC! I will receive a 'New Member Packet, including the latest issue of "Speak Out for Children" *bymper sticker saying "The Best Parent is Both Parents," a discount Hertz coupOn, a low APR credit card application, and, if requested, the names of 3 grouWhattan help me. I want $15 of my dues applied to the duties of the CRC Chapter in the state of

New Member, $35 Renewal, $35 5 Library, $20 Student, $20 0.

Gift, $25 0 0 00, Institutional Membershipideal for government offices and community agencies. The institutional membership includes 3 subscriptions to "Speak Out for Children," and the above benefits for all 3 individuals. Contributing Member, $60 Sustaining Member, $500 Supporting Member, $250 Life Member, $750 Silver Life, $2,000 Gold Life, $5,000 Platinum Life, $10,000 Benefits Include

Quarterly News Magazine New 85-page Manual, "CRC's Guide to Custody and Parenting." "Best Parent..." Bumper Sticker $35 (includes shipping and handling) Discounts on 100 books A voice in Washington and State Capitols Include book order from page 20 Total Much, much morel

Name.

Address: Is any of this new information? City: State. ZIP:

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May we occasionally give your name to other groups for mailings approved by CRC? Yes No

Send Application & Contribution to: CRC300 "I" Street, NESuite 401 Washington, DC 20002-4389 Phone CRC at 202/547-6227, fax 202/546-4272, or join or order books with secure server at www.gocrc.com

FOR CHILDREN 15 171 I I I .

s II C- D

LOOKANSIDE:FOR GREAT:BOOKS:COVERING:TIMELY TOPICS FOCUSING ON KIDS,. PARENTS, STEPPARENTS, .GRANDPARENTS;.:SINGLEPARENTS;:LEGAL: ISSUES,:

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BOOKS FOR PARENTS NEW! BOOKS: FOR:KIDS iThis. Child of Mine:. A A Heart Full of.Love;:written. by Bette NEW! Therapist's Journey; by S..Margolis;,illustrated by:Christie L. .ThsUnexpected:., Martha Wakenshaw. Kline. A wonderful:book:for:that Legacy of DiVorce.,A Stories of abused and, special :7---to.9year-oldin. your life 25-Year Landmark: neglected children who who is: undergoingparental,divorce. :StUdY,.:by:Judith S: are travelling the road to recovery. This book can SB:-.101- $15.00 Wallersteini:Julia M. Lewis; and :Sandra, . help other abused l*Love:YOU MOre:Than..:,.by:Elizabeth. Blakeslee;:2000::The. children to recover. Hickey,and*Jarties:COherL.Illustrated Pest-selling book :that.. HB-209 $12195 by:Lynda Sitart,BrOwn;:1998. says many, children: of HB.,102. $16:95 divorcesufferlong-term*effects:from A,Hole in My Heart; by Claire Berman; 1991. A book thatmill enable:adult, . . divorce. HOW:to:SUrviVeYour:Parent!s Di SEI-:200 $24.95 children: of divorce to recognize the vorce:KidsAdVicSto:Kids; by role they:play in changingoattems in Gayle Kimball; 50/50:Parenting,)py Gayle Kimball;.. their lives: SB104 $4:00 Ph.D..Almost:300 co- parents and 83 SB-210 $5.00:. children report on life in married, I Think Divorce Stinks:by .Marcia divorced; andistep4amily situations.. FamiliesApart,.by Melinda:Blau. Lebowitz, 1991'Helps children SI5-201 5195 SB-211 $10:00 recognizethat ft is appropriate to have negative feelings:about divorce and to Divorce. Book for. Parents, by Vicki. REVISED!. express those. feelings; Lansky.. Mom's House. Dad's House,:bylsolina SB.105 . $4 ;95 HB-203. $6.00 Ricci. Ph.-D,, 1998. Making:shared!. custody:work: How parents:cammake. What am I Doing:ima:Steplamily?,.by The. Divorce Help. Source. Book, by two homes:for their children:after Claire Berman;: Margone Engel. divorce....100 New pages to this classic $12.00 SB-204 $7.00 book!.. SB-212::- $20:00 It's,NOt:Your Fault, Divorced Dads, Shatter- KOkoSear; by Vicki ing the Myths, by Putting Kids= First, by. Lansky;:1998: Koko PINKED Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D.. Michael Oddenino. A Bear can help g1998. The surprising truth must read for caring children understand about fathers, children parents and profession-

divorce:and sends a `, and divorce. . als, by CRC's General good.message. 7.1... HB-205 $24.95 Counsel. Includes a SB-107 $5.99 children's bill of. rights. For:the Sake of theChildren,:by Kris S15-215 $9.95 The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992... David Fassler &Michelle Lasch. Discusses how,to.share.your.children Surviving the Break-Up, How Chil -. SB-108 $15.95 with your ex-spouse despite your dren and Parents Cope with anger: Klineis- CRC's Florida coordi- Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. nator: PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! and Joan Kelly, Ph.D. Ha-206 $9.00 SB-217 $10.00

BEST COPY AVAILABLE 16 SPEAK OUT 172 The War.Against The Divorced ParentSuccess REVISED! Strategies for Raising Your Chil- Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, Parents, by Sylvia Ann dren After Separation, by Stephanie by Dr. Jayne A. Major, 1998. Nation- ::Hewiett and Camel ally acclaimed author of "Break- West. Marston. $12.00 through 'Parenting" and "Winning the H8-;-232 $10.00 HB-249 Custody War Without Casualties" $24.95 The Divorce Culture, NEW! SB-218 Complex Issues in Child: Custody:: 4 .4,,f by Barbara: Defoe. Evaluations, by Philip M. Stahl; .1999. 3 Steps to a Strong: Family, by Linda Whitehead. In this book: theauthor provides a and Richard Eyre. HB-233 $10.00 theoretical and practical understand- 1-f13219 $19.50 Business. Dad,: by:Tom Hirschfeld_ How. ing of many of thefactorsthat-make- The:Best:Parent is:Both:Parents:A Good:Businessmen Can Make:Great custody.evaluations complex:. Guide to Shared:Parenting in the Fathers (and Vice:Versa) HB-250:.. $30.00. 21st Century; the CRG book edited HB-218.:: $10.00 by. David L. Levy,: 1993. If you would Peace withYour Partner A Practical like copies (individual or bulk order) :::Ask the Childreni.by: GUide to a Happy:Marriageity::-: autographed by: DeVid:L-Levy,: just : Ellen, Galinsky CranorGraves. . $5.00' state: t6 whom: you would:like it HBL235H: $10.00: HB-252 . autographed (yourielf;:perhaps:your childrengive their names). Saying No Is Not $10.00::: EnoughRaising .. BOOKS: FOR STEPPARENTS::' sB-221:" Children :Who Make Order:10 copies. or more each only Making itas:a:Steppar-. $4.00:: Wise Decisions.About Drugs and Alcohol, by entNewROlesfNeW:::' Rules; by Claire:Berman,. Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, Robert Schwebel. HB-236 $5.00 1986. Formerpresidentof by M. Gary. Neuman, L.M.H.C. the: Stepfamily HB-222 $25.00 Mars and: Venus Love.: by: John::.. of America provides::.. practical helpanct insights.. NEW' Gray,]Ph.D.:. HB-238 $10:00 Sf3,302 Ceasefire, by Cathy. . Young, 1999', syndicated Stepfamilies Stepping Aheadi:aClited . columnist: Why women: Father's Day Notes:froth:a:New Dad:: and:men.must join forces in the Real WOrickbY Bill: McCoyi,:. H by Mala:Burt for.theStepfarnily:::... Association: of America...... to aChievetrue equality ;.. 1995::AiwOnderfUt boOk how that will help and not;-so-new dads..,: SB 303: :.;: $10:00: children, too. Making Peace in:YourSteOfithily,;13Y:. $25.00- H13,224 -LIFE with Father,. ."' Harold :171.: Bloomfield-, KM'. HB-404 ' $10:00 Friends: for Life,:by. Susan:Jonas. and.. LIFE Magazine,':199&' MarilynNissenson, 1997.: Enriching.. A:WonderfUl!giftbOok,:. the:bond between mothers and their fol,mertA2.-photo- BOOKS FOR.GRANDPARENTS:- adult daughters::.. .graphsi collected:from ::.the:archives.Of LIFE HB7227 $29.00 Grandparents as': magazine;:depicting Parents: A Survival Talking Back to Ritalin images of LIFE:With:father Guide for Raising:a. by:Peter.R. Breggin, Hf3.,243: $10.00 Second Family, by Sylvie M.D. 1998: 4-time guest: BuildingaMarriage,-,10Tools:for:. de Toledo and:Deborah: on:Oprah::What:doctors- Edler Brown... A ,how-to" aren't telling you about:: Creating,i.Repairing,and:Maintain, manual for grandparents ingYourtives:Together,:by:Cranor. the:dangers of stimulants. who are raising their:--- Itaiim;=07-,:.H13;228 $25.00 Graves:::. '::- $5:00 grandchildren. HB-401: Reg. $17.00 The:Assault:on Parenthood, by Dana : : Mack:. Mascutinity:Reconstructed,l)y HI3;229 $10:00 ROnald:E:Levant.:.Changingithe::, rules:ofmanhOodatWork,:in :-- BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS Babyhood, by Paul relationshipsand:in Still:a Dad, The: Divorced Reiser:- ,: .$10:00- Father's Journey,:by HB-230 $10.00 Throwaway. Dads;:by CRC's own Serge: Prengel. 199& Published RoSs D.:ParkeandArmin Working Fathers,. by with praise from:Warren: James:A.. Levine;.CRC A. Brott;::1999:The. myths and:barriersthat keep.- Farrell, Karen,DeCrow,:: Advisor; and Todd L. and James A.- Cook: men:frombeing:the , Plttinsky. A guide to SB-2501 $1195 help fathers:as wellas fathers:they:want:to-be: mothers; employees "Anessential,guide,not SUrviving-:DiVorceWomen's:Re. and.managers-succeed.in managing only.fot fathersibut fora sources After-Separation,: by' Mavis culture that:is not'sure What: to.do- with. the competitive demands of home and Maclean. them!' (Gurian, Michael) work:. HB-502.. $5.00 HB231 $10.00. $20.00.: : 17 FOR CHILDREN 173 The Father's Emergency Guide to Fatherless America, by David MEDIATION/CONFUCT RESOLUTION Blankenhorn,1995. Shows the Divorce/CustodyBattle, A,Tour. devastating consequences of Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Through the Predatory World of fatherlessness in both individual Mediation, Arbitration and Litiga- Judges; Lawyers;: Psychologists families and in oursociety: tion; by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1989. and Social.Workers in theSubcui-. HB-504 $10:00 In: this update, Gardner proposes:a ture of .Divorce,:by.Robert:. three-phase system to remove child Seidenberg,.with:the legal insights of Mbney-Smart Divorce:: What Women . custody evaluations from courtroom Williams Dawes,: Esq., 1997:: Need to Know. about Money and: litigation. SB-707' $15.00 DiVorce, by Esther M ;: Berger, 1996:: HB-601 $45.00 SB -507 $22:00- Every Parent's,Guide.to.thetaw;by : Healing:Hearts;:Helping Children and:: Deborah.L..Forrnan.. Everything .you::. Why Men Are the.Way They Are, by Adults: Recover fromDivorcei: by need to.knowabout legalissues:: Warren Farrell. Eliiabeth Hickey, M.S.W.:,..CRC'S . ...affecting parentsand children pre, _i.birth through:the:child-rearing years::: SB-509 $3:00 . National Parent,Education:Director,': E.and:Elikabeth.Dalton-attorneyand. SI3708 .$18:00:- Fathers!:Rights; by mediator:: Jeffrey Leiing. A best.::: HB-602 *$115.00:DivOrce.YoUrself,the National:No;- selling book forfathers Fault Divorce.Kit.by Daniel-Sitarz.. who:want :to maintain :Parent Vs. Parent How YOU!and:YOUrii, SB-709 $15.00 contact. with their children:: Child CanSUrvive the.CUstodYi::: $12,50: BattlCby Stephen P.:HerrnarvM.Mi: . iIEW1 . . HB;603:. Betrayal:of the:Child; The:DiVorcedParent:,,' by: Stewart: Rein; 2001. Success:Strategies for A: father's:guideto: Raising Your Children:After Separa-.. LEGAL ISSUES Family COUrts..-"A book tion,:by Stephanie Marston,.1994:;: that refutes the:single Provides practical advice and specific NEWT; parenttheology:and: tools, for raising welkadjusted.childrem:. From Courtship .to:' t concludes: that:only. }-111-511 COurtroom:What.....' two parents: can serve. Divorce-Law. Is Being; to the best interests:of- Chill:f Custody Made Mariage,by:Jed H::: children" (DrAohn Simpte,:bY Webster::: Abraham,..2000:::: Chipingdph) , Watnik,:1997iAnswers Abraharm,elawyer,.:-: SB 710 $22:95: your quaStiOnsaboutchild::: mediator,::andjOint ::: custodYanctchild support:: 4::custodyadvocate;:writes:::.

for asingle parent. .... a:chilling ipictureickhOw. . PARENTAL KIDNAPPING

miserable forfamilies,::. Autographed:Copies1 The: Single Parent's SB -701 $T5.00 TheyAre:My Children, Too,: by: MOney,Guide;by:Einily:Card. DatherineMeyer;1999. Powerful:: SB-514. $6:00... AFamilyDivided,:by. account of a mother's loss:of:her

Robert:Mendelson:1997:. . . :childremAc.aseof international:

Questions from DacL:by CRC Spokes -: A discussion.of a .diviirced . parental kidnappinT Written by CRC!S person and pop singer:Dwight TWilley; fathers struggle:with,the new Honorary President. 1994. A very cool way to communicate: child custody industry:: HB-801:" $23.00 with your child. Introduced by Dr. $10.00- Susan:Forward: When Parents:Kidnap, by. Geoffrey 513:-515 $17.00 The: Custody. ReVolutirev,, Greif and:Rebecca Hegar::: Hby:Rithard .Warshak;,1991:The:::: : $22:95:' Meson iDivorceThe Other Side:of:: FatherFactorand theMotherhood:: the Story; edited:by:Penny Kaganoff MyStique: and Susan Spano;:199T; Ha-704:: Runt" theSUni by SB-517 $6:00: Robert Dave; 20001.: A CilitOdy:forFathers;,bYCarleen and:: novel bf suspense: The,. The::Prodigal Father:(Reunitihg..... :fitithaelBrennan; 1994::Includes: t.city of parentat:: Fathers and Their:Children), by more than,100 strategiesthathave. kicitiapping; conspiracy. Mark :Bryan. 1997,7ThePrOdigalH helped fathers win (share) custody:of:. and lies. Father' is a prescription for renewal;, theirchildren:in a mom-biased : H84303 $16.95 offering fathers, mothers, and children system. a chance to forgive. redeem, and heal HEt-705 $12..00 The:Recovery:of their broken relationships and IntemationallyAbducted.Children;. reconstruct whole, healthy, and DiVorce and:the-Myth ofLawyers;:by by Maureen Dabbagh, 1997: This .. reconciled lives", (Claudia Highbaugh) Lenard- Marlow, J.D." book is -a guide:outlining the:legal HB-605 $10:00 HB -706 $10.95 steps to try to recover your interne- tionallyabductedchild. Dabbagh.. Provides advice on workin4with: foreign: attomeysand embassies;:and _.gathering: information on the abdUctor.. $20.00 BEST COPYAVArLAB3

18 SPEAK OUT 174 Parenting Plans. Three different PSYCHOLOGY CHILD ABUSE parenting plans. R102 $10.00 NEW! Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, by Verena Kast. Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for Joint Custodyas a Child's. Righta SB-1001 $13.00 the Falsely Accusedrby Dean Tong, law review-article (1988), a legal brief 2001. "Elusive Innocence should be a How:Can I get:Through to You? by with citations up to 1994 and:a report wake-up call to child advocates and by Section 16 of the American: lawmakers' .Kathleen Parker. D.Glenn Foster and-Mary Marshall. SEA002 $12.95 Psychological Association describing nationally syndicated columnisL "favorable outcomes" for children SB-911 $15.99 (1995) $10.00 The: Parental Alienation Syndrome, A CONTEMPORARY:ISSUES R103 guide for mentathealth :and legal professionals, by.RiChard Gardner.. The New,ViCtorians.,- A:Young:: N&D., 1995. An authoritative work on WomarVs Challenge,to:the, Old SPECIAL. CRCCD. Feminist Order, by Rene Denfeld. the Parental.Alienation:Syndrome.: CI-102 $6:00 Ernie Ashworth .and Friends:: Sing-out SB-7903 $35.00 For the Children's Rights: Council, ViCtories'of the-Heart;, Robert: Mark:: Hadassah sings "Hear the Cries of the. NEW! and Buddy: POrtugal;:1996:7he:: Children' Therapeutic. Interventicihs, for Chil- $12.00. dren:with' Parental Alienation inside-story of .e pioneer men's. group CD-101 and how-men-help each 'other. change .: Syhdrome; by Richard'A::Gardner,: M.D: (2001): This is a book for theirtives.. PINS AND. BUTTONS therapists working: with: families where C1-104 children are alienated from a parent. The famous '!Children Firsrpin.- SB-;904" $40.00 VIDEOS.- colors, with figures of seven children standing on a field of green:with:logo unialtsumg. Children .Held Hos- Children:. The Eicperts on- Divorcerby "Children:FirsC.Two prongs.; 3I4' high, tage,i Dealing with Elizabeth Hickey; MSW1994.,The 1-1/2".wideL:. Programmed. and Children speak. from-their own P101 $8.00 . . BrainWashed Children, experience of going through their by Stanley; S. Clawar, parents, divorce. :glutton created:by:Patti Diroffthat.says Ph:a;:C.C.S. and V.101'. $25.00 "Responsibility, cOoperation;:sacrifice. BrYnneRiViin, M.S:S., Unconditional Love; Shared 1991: This:book is : Doni:Ferget:The:Childrem: by: the Parenting;;Children's Rights: Council' approvediby:the Dallas; Texas Association:of Young B202 $2.00 American,Bar Associa- . Lawyers. A CRC award-winningvideo tion.. that provide& inforMation on co SB -905 $50.00 parentingththe event of divorce.. T-SHIRTS V102:: $20.00 Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas CRC 4-color.t-shirts. say "Help:Stop: Besharov, Ph:D. Psychotherapeutic: Si:Legal. Ap-- Crime...Give:Children 2 Parents". SB-906 $12.00 proaches:To Parental:Alienation Speedy: M, L;Adult:S..M, Syndromo(PAS); by Richard A. L. XL.. Specify color: white' or blue. The:Book of David,: HOw:Preserving Gardner.: M.D. An iridepth discussion $10 adult&:$8children Families' Can Cost: Children's Lives, of ways thatparents can alienate the by RiChard Gelles::. child against the other parent: H13;907- $23.00 V103 $25.00 BUMPER STICKERS fiAtinchausen Syn THE REST PARENT IS RUTH PARENTS droine by ?roxy, by ChiqVAI5R/G050qAkil- and REPORTS Alex.:V. Levin, 1-800-787-KIDS iMety-S: Sheridan: Interference with Access (Visitation) H&.908 LL, $30.00 as a Tort. Updated 1997. The: Best: parentis ,Bath Parents; White printing 1pn a black:background. R101 $.10:00.: ____$1 apiece; 6. for $5.00

For a complete catalog, go online at www.gocrc.com

19 FOR CHILDREN 175 ORDER THE COUNTRY MUSIC CRCCD!

4' COMING IN THE. NEXT ISSUE

A New Look at Alienation of tig Children by Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. Vb.

tni Family Facts

Current Legislation What beautiful music! Order the CD "Ernie Ashworth and Friends Sing Out for CRC." and if you are not completely satisfied. we will refund your money. Precedent-Setting Court The CD's are only $12 each. including S/H. Cases Order one for your friends and relatives. They make a delightful gift! Free Holiday Gift Card Available for your Holiday Gift-Giving. Copies of the CD may be ordered online at www.gocrc.com. or by writing to the national CRC office at 300 "I" Street N.E.. Suite 401. Washing- ton. D.C. 20002. Bulk orders of 6 or more CD's are$10 per CD, including S/H.

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Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp:date Title Title .Send to: CRC.BOoks Title 300 "I" Street N.E.. Title Total Suite 401: (10% off for CRC members; Washington; D.C. 20002.4389 membership is $35/year) Phone yourorclertoCRC at.202/5474227 '''' Total Fax:your:order:to:CRC at 202/5464272. S/H:$4:00 first item. . $1:00 each addtl. item Orderon.the-website at www,gocrc.com Total enclosed-

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20 SPEAK OUT 176 Transfer-Mation stance abuse problems, re-entry offew months before the site opened. a parent into a child's life after a long Terry Cady, CRC Illinois coordi- continued from page 5 absence, severe communicationnator, administers the largest pro- problems, or family violence," saidgram, a $200,000 state-funded pro- have primary care of their children.Ellis. gram that provides a wide range of Supervised access takes place on Levy said CRC believes thatservices in DuPage County, just out- Saturday mornings. A parent willtransfer and supervised accessside of Chicago. Many organiza- have a block of time, either twoshould be ordered only where ab-tions provide the services, which hours, or four hours, between 9 a.m.solutely necessary, so as to cause theinclude parenting education, and 1 p.m. to be with his or herleast possible infringement on theparenting plans, transfer and super- child. first amendment liberty interest ofvised access, and mediation. Costs for running supervisedfree association between a child and CRC has established a "Manual sites are higher than for transfera parent. on How to Establish Child Access sites, because of increased security Wuwert has opened three trans-Sites in Cooperation with Faith- and liability insurance. fer sites in Ohio, and is working onBased Institutions." It is available The reason for transfer is usuallyopening sites in Michigan and Indi-free on www.gocrc.com, CRC's because of communication prob-ana. website. lems between the parents, or a par- Mark Roseman, CRC's Assistant Although the information is free, ent discouraging access. Child Access DirectorEastern Re-people who are interested in this is- "We believe there is a muchgion, has opened a site in New Ha-sue are urged to work with CRC, greater need for transfer sites thanven, Connecticut, and is working onbecause CRC has experience in op- supervised sites, and the judges weopening sites in other Eastern sea-erating such sites, and in obtaining work with realize that," said Ellis.board states. funding. "We look upon these transfers as Fred Wall, CRC coordinator for The location of the sites are pro- transitional parenting, until parentsNorth/South Carolina, opened avided in the table on the following can learn to transfer their children atsite in Wilmington, NC, at St. Mark'spage. Future sites are planned in their own homes without our help.Catholic Church in September, 2001.Michigan, California, New Jersey, At these sites, parents learn to focus Al Ellis and Fred Wall conductedand elsewhere. Call CRC for infor- on their children, not on their owna training session for judges andmation on how to establish a site in parental arguments with each other."volunteers in Wilmington, NC, ayour community. "The reasons for supervised access are because of alcohol or sub- CHECK OUT INFO4PARENTS

IIS - p I - I www.info4parents.com is our parenting website, supported by a grant from the Annie E. Casey CRC was the catalyst behind the initial fund- Foundation. ing of $3 million in the 1988 Family Support Act of 7 demonstration projects in the states to improve relationships between children and their nor4esidenti4t p4:rerits:::PiesedernonStration.: - projects::wereSosuccessftiLthatin:the.....1996'.WelT voo fare:RefOrmAct::::Ctingress.:a a yearfOr.:all:the.::statesto provide pro gram. ithproye. relationships:.between chit

d. Thei parents :,7 :1?h0..$ .avAcri, ."56....tamme million is hltick:grantetito 454. state :.r..eceives:an.:average. ,,,Y4C. prOgraMs...somel:::Of . . which supervised:acce.ss sites. Ntiw,:in::its:,:fifthyear,,.a:.:. :otat:of has been, provideckter:the states,::the!:latgestfi4POing:.evet..by congtoss::to:, connect:children .:,Nfitli:their non custodial parents:, :CRC: and its chapters have ieceived grants from child support offices in Maryland and the DiStritt:Of COlUmbia.:t0 adriiiiiiSter:sues:in those.:

FOR CHILDREN 21 17 7 BEST COPYAVAILABLE SAFE HAVEN" SITE LOCATIONS

Maryland: Over-alt:supervismn by Al Ellis. CRC's Director oi. Child Access Services Hyattsville (Prince (;eorge's County). St. Matthew's Episcopal Church. CRC's first site. opened :in 1997 COntaCt Jimmie Curley 1301):388-9632, Beltsville (Prince George:s- County). The:::i.inhean Church of the Abiding Presence, Beltsville; Maryland Conract Barbara or Bill Knock. (391) 4988098. Clinton(Prince George s County). Antioch Baptist Church. Clinton. Maryland Contact Jimmie Curley CRC folks at the wedding; top row, Al and Mary 1202) 388-9632. Ellis, middle row (I to r) Ellen and David Levy, Potomac Montgomery County). St James:Erascopal Julie and Jeff, Kevin Gallagher, Mark Roseman, Church. Potomac. Maryland.. ontact Al ElliSt301) 590,-Paul Robinson, front row (I to r) Harvey Walden, 8621 Wilkie Woodard. Frederick. (Federick County). Calvary. United:Met odist Church. Frecierick, MD Contact:Ms. Shauna Maim. Directorof Family Life (300 662-14634.Yoice:mait#13. CRC's Office Manager Marries Baltimore City Providence:Baptist Church Education:;:. Center. Baltimore. MD. Crintect CRC at(202) 547-6227;1. A horse-drawn carriage carried Julie Maggiacomo, or:::call Mrs. Noakes at (410) 523-9129 CRC's office manager, to her wedding September 1 at DUndalk (Baltimore County). Dundalk-United Meth- St. Peter's Catholic Church in Washington, D.C. The odist Church, Dundalk, 'Maryland. Contact. Rob or priest began the service for Julie and her husband Jeff Sandy Snow at (410) 889-4908. Carrera by saying that it may appear ridiculous for Severna ParklAnnapolis Wood Memorial Presbyte- anybody to be getting married in this day and age of rian Church. Severna Park, MD. Contact BiWPau II 1410) frequent family problems. That opening got everyone's 647-5885. attention. But then the priest said that despite frequent family breakdowns, Jeff and Julie loved each other, were Connecticut making a commitment to one another, and were deter- New HaVen Center Church on the Green. Cr:intact CRC mined to make their marriage work. With that kind of df.Cormecticut at i203) 288-7827 or Patu.Bealeat 1203) attitude, the priest said, marriage was a simple choice 28V1:368: to make. After the ceremony, Jeff joined Julie in the horse- District.ofColumbia drawn carriage that took them to the wedding recep- Hillcrest:Children's Center.:Bowen YMCA. Contact tion. Julie is now Julie Maggiacomo Can-era. Frank Banner:CRC chapter-head. Washington. D.C.. (202) 23245100. Intellectual:Property Protection Illinois DuPage County. The Parents and Kids in Partnerships Charlie Ruggiero. who obtained: trademark pro-: (PAK) Project. Contact- Sheila Murphy-Russell (630) lec:tion for the name and logo "Childrens.Rigkgs::. 682.7324. Council" and the name andlogd for our,:newslet-,:. ter "Speak Out for Children-is a speciaBtin trade,. Ohio mark. patent: copyright. arid licensing lawHe is a: Hope United Methodist: Church. Tfiledo. Contact partner in theAaw firm of Ohlandr. Greeley nhone:(4191:473:-8955 Ruggiero:and Perle::1 Landmark Square. SUite 903. Peace: Lutheran Church. Lucas (. hunty. COL-Aart Stamford.-:.CT 06901. telephone (203) 327 -6067. and:Bill:Warner. phone i419):24 I -1478. DeltaAssembly of God. Fulton County Contact:Keynt: and::Dorothy Corcile. phone (419) 822'9732:: BeattheJaiuMan::Contribute ;:Keep-;:workingfor childrem.:Consider Virginia lug a charitable trust or a:bequest to CRC; Contact::: Fairfax City, Fairfax County. Fairfax. Presbyterian CRC for fOrtherinformatfory,We.will be-happy-to:::. Church Contact john i Teartnev (703) 257-3566. help vou.

22 SPEAK OUT BEST COPYAVAILABLE 178 ./,') Seven States rights and responsibilities, resources for single parents, outreach and volunteer programs, as well as why children need legal fathers. Publishing these resources in an easy accessible for- Minnesota mat helps parents help their children with a change in the family structure. distributes statewide a packet entitled, 'A Pa- rental Guide to Making Child-Focused Parenting Time Virginia Decisions'. The packet was developed by the Minne- sota Supreme Court Advisory Task Force on Visitation The Parental Education for Divorcing Parents law and Child Support Enforcement along with consulta-requires parents involved in custody and visitation tion from child development experts statewide. cases to attend parenting classes. These classes address It emphasizes the importance of active involvementthe issues of parental and financial responsibilities and by both parents in a child's life. The packet states thatprovide conflict resolution tips. This law helps promote children fare best when they have the emotional sup-joint parenting by educating parents on how they both port and ongoing involvement of both parents. Alsocan remain in their children's lives. included is information identifying children's specific In addition to parenting seminars, Virginia provides needs at each stage of development. for mediation in custody or visitation disputes that is This packet was approved by the Minnesota Con-paid for by state funds. Once again, mediation as a ference of Chief Judges. The packet is not only used bymethod for negotiating divorce cases deserves praise parents but judges, attorneys, and guardian ad litemsas it reduces the hostility of a long, drawn-out court to aid in resolving custody disputes. (Free copies of thebattle, and thus protects children from the hurt inflicted packet available from CRC; enclose $5 for S/H). by such a battle. By assuming the cost of the mediation, Virginia has demonstrated a dedication to help- Tennessee ing families and children.

recently enacted six new laws dealing with di- New Hampshire vorce designed to help protect children and families. Several legal terms "custody" and "visitation" were re- Legislators in New Hampshire introduced bills that placed with friendlier terms "shared parenting" andwould require both parents to mediate in an attempt to "parental responsibilities". Divorcing parents may par-reach a mutual agreement in divorce cases. The bills ticipate in mediation programs where they are encour-would also have encouraged parents to participate in a aged to produce parenting plans for the raising of theirmediation process to design a parenting plan. In creat- children post-divorce. ing such a plan, parents would be encouraged to share Additional laws state that, blocking court-orderedthe rights and responsibilities of raising their children. parenting time may result in the loss of recreationalAlthough these bills did not become law, CRC wished and/or professional licenses. to encourage New Hampshire to pass such legislation Tennessee also granted grandparents the right to sueto help ensure that each child maintains a frequent and for the right to visitation and to be a part of theircontinuing relationship with each parent, regardless of grandchild's life. Another new law provided non-resi-marital status. dential parents a right to access the medical records of their child (ren), unless forbidden by the courts. The Parents' Bill of Rights was also expanded, add- CRC college ing three new rights: 48 hour notification of any events student intern to which parents are normally invited to participate, Amy Young (right) non-custodial parental involvement in all school activi- and State Sen. ties, and contact information when either parent leaves Mary Lazich (R- the state for two or more nights with a minor child. WI) at the Finally, Tennessee created a State Commission on Re- roundtable sponsible Fatherhood. discussion Amy gave on behalf of CRC at the Texas National Foundation for created new visitation and exchange centers that Women Legislators allow parents to transfer children from one parent to annual conference the other for the weekend. Texas also developed an at the Ritz Carlton excellent network of online child support information. Hotel, The user-friendly and informative Web site titled, The Washington, D.C., Child Support Program of Texas, offers information on September 28, interactive support, child support evaders, parental 2001.

FOR CHILDREN 23 179 Forever, Impact of Divorce on Chil- I II dren Educator's Guide, St. Paul, MN: Keys for Parallel Parenting to ;14 Continued from page 6 Educational Developmental System, University of Minnesota Extension 1. Focus on your long-term:goal Service. and keep it primaryt ha well, is imperative that the therapist orMcBride, J. (2000) Programs for High being of your children:. counselor be willing to make action- Conflict Separated/Divorced Par- 2. By not.: expressingleelings/ based interventions including spe- ents: Lessons from the Front. Paper presented at the Pre Congress Insti- emotions - anger. rage:: guilt. cific suggestions to change the ex- anxiety: depression:: lave; isting system and produce results tute Addressing the Needs of High Conflict Families, Fourth Interna- hate.: etc:,: directly to:your:es- that are in the best interests of the tional Congress on Parent Education t ranged/ex,-spouse.:::y. ::you have children. A parallel parenting ap- Programs, Association of Family, a muchbetter.chancebfbein& proach is often highly effective since Court and Community, Kiawah, a betterparent: Chaosenotto it focuses on what the individual South Carolina. letyour-Rstranged:ex,spouse: parent can change and not on at-Mikesell, R. H., Lusterman, D. D., and expressleelingsiernotiOnsAo: tempting to change the other parent. McDaniel, S. H. (1995) Integrating Family Therapy: Handbook of Fam- ily Psychology and Systems Theory. 3..Keepall.:parental communica- References Washington DC: American Psycho- tions with your estranged/ex logical Association. spouse::::centered. around:: the Allen, R. M., Kristensen, N., Lewis, T. A.,Stahl, P.M. (2000) Parenting After Divorce. childrertniSCussiOns..should: Neil, N. J., Onstad, P., Tralle, M. L., Atascadero, CA. Impact Publishers be.tasI6orienteci.foctisecLand.. & Washington, V.A. (1997) Parents Inc. Communicatewi th:Nop trangedtexspouseby voice?, mail:;le-rnailur in writing. Issues in Parallel Parenting 5: USejhe:::phone sparingly and litnitfaCatolace.contactonly:: to:::eVents -which childrenp:: .:.... Positive issues Negative: Issues as:.pOSsible to: the: residential ancl:.:yisita: 1- One. parent does not have to cli- in:order tominimize...conflict. tion:.:Scheddles of :your rectlypersuadethenther parent children maybe deprived of ac- drert:::Obterathe bitiOndarieS: t.o. change their:feelings, attiH tiVities.:events.and:exppriences. establiShed.:.hetweeri::.thei:tWo, Ludes or behavior. Change does which require parental coopera- households: ' occur. but through modeling tion;:: ask 11.your trangedlexspouse:far.:-:any- and by not engaging:in recipro-1 While :power struggles over catbehavior patterns which of- thing: heir a u tomatic.,-re- day -to -day lifemav:be reduced sponse.wiltoften be,to:sayno. ten: become..increasingly nega- (curfews. driving. privileges. tive. Waitiuntilf:they etcl:impasses may:well:Still be something;:then yottoreina ) Power strugg,les:arej-ecluced. present foriarger.issuessuchas position? t:.ci.bargairy!::::. ) Children aralass::likely to: be education,. religion. etc. . 8 Understandthat: yOtt:::::oftety: 'caught in the middle' and/or Tha:children do. not .have the havez negative infkience.on..: have the opportunity to play opportunity to experience their vour.:estrangeci/e0pouse... one parent off the other. parents:cooperate::: thereforedon t try:to:change:': ) Decisions are ::made: relatively theit.;behavioronly:changa:' easily and the children know : what...yaw:can.- your.:::behav- that: they can rely:on the indi- ior.: vidual parent. 9. Find :tieatiVe,waysto-..accept:: yourestrangediexi.spause:!s- The : parents themselves are behtiriOn-composing.:::letters: more likely to emotionally de- tcythern:::tharyou never send:'. tach from each other and move talkaa:confidants;E::.divarce. forward with their own lives. supporrgroups, which is ultimately better for 10. Seek4irofessional::::help:. A the children. therapiSt:or counselor.can.often:ite114:develop stvia:iwhich.can reduee:con,-

asfor the children::::

24 SPEAK OUT BEST COPY AVAIILAIsLE 180 Family Law Separating Siblings court for immunity purposes. Hughes v. Long, 3d Cir., No. Continued from page 8 A custody order that separated99-2037, 2/27/01 siblings between their parents was wrong, without compelling circum- Unsupported Abuse Claims stances dictating that it was in their the support award before reducing A father should not have been best interests, the California Courtdenied visitation with his two sons his payments, the Court of Appealsof Appeal, Second District, held on said, justifying this view by saying for more than five years solely be- April 26. cause of an unsubstantiated claim that parents could not bargain away The court remanded the case, their children's support rights. that he had sexually abused one of and directed the lower court to or-them, the District of Columbia Shoup v. Shoup, Va. Ct. App., No.der a separation of the siblings only 0098-00-4, 2/27/01 Court of Appeals held June 7. The upon a well-articulated showing ofcourt said the trial judge had abused compelling circumstances. his discretion in failing to hold an Grandparent Visitation Williams v. Williams, Cal. Cr. App.,evidentiary hearing once the accu- No. B145636, 4/26/01 New Jersey's grandparent visita- sation came to light. tion statute is unconstitutional, as The Court of Appeals held that Immunity Status denial of visitation was based in part applied in the case of a recently wid- of Custody Evaluators owed mother whose children's pa- on the father's failure to follow ternal grandparents demeaned her A court-appointed social workerthrough on recommended counsel- character during visitation, theand the psychologist who aided hering. The visitation denial was "a state's Superior Court, Appellate Di-in making a custody evaluation in asomewhat drastic remedy for im- vision, decided June 22. divorce proceeding are immuneperfect compliance," the court said. The court noted that the statutefrom liability arising from their du- In re Ko. W. & K. W., D.C., No. required the petitioning grandpar-ties, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 98-FS-128, 6/7/01 ent to prove that visitation would beThird Circuit held Feb. 27. The court All cases except the first two are in the child's best interests. said that their duties were similar tosummarized from Family Law Reporter, Wilde v. Wilde, N.J. Super. Ct. App.a guardian ad litem or a court-ap-published by The Bureau of National Div., No. A-618-00T5, 6/22/01 pointed doctor, both of whom areAffairs, Inc. They appear here by per- considered arms of the appointingmission of the publisher.

STATE LEGISLATION The amendment to the law was New Strong Shared Parenting Oklahoma Strengthens signed by Gov. Frank Keating (R), Law in Maine Shared Parenting Law and took effect November 1, 2001. See Section 3, Chapter 301, O.S.L. Maine has passed a law stating Oklahoma was the first state in1999 (43 O.S. Supp. 2000, Sectionthat "it is in the public policy of this the U.S. to create an equal time share110.1 as amended). State to assure minor children of fre- with the child from the time of the Palumbo said the legislaturequent and continuing contact with first court hearing, if either parentpassed another bill, that requiresboth parents after the parents have asks for it. This was the Oklahomanotification to either the other par-separated or dissolved their mar- Parentage Act that became law inent or the grandparents within 48riage and that it is in the public in- 1999. hours of a child being removed fromterest to encourage parents to share Many judges were not givinga household by social services. Af-the right and responsibilities of child equal time, and were failing to writeter being signed by Gov. Keating,rearing in order to effect this policy. down in a court order why theythis bill became effective April 10.See Sec. 1.19-A MRSA #1653, sub- were not granting it, said GregThe purpose of this bill is to provide Sec 1. Palumbo, Ph.D., executive directoran opportunity for the other parent The law establishes a priority for of Oklahomans for Families Alli-or the grandparents to raise thegoverning the ordering of parental ance. child rather than have the childrights and responsibilities. The first "So the legislature passed anplaced with strangers. Keating ischoice is to both parents jointly, and amendment to the law in 2001, re-one of the nation's leading gover-if the court does not order joint requiring judges to state on paper whynors working to strengthen the two-sponsibility, "the court shall state in they are not granting an equal 50/parent family, both in marriage, andits decision the reasons for not or- 50 time share pendente lite (a legalin the event of separation or divorce.dering" shared parenting rights and time for the first court hearing whenSee 10 O.S. Supp. 2000, Sec. 7003-5.5responsibilities. parents separate) ". as amended. This is a major change in Maine law.

FOR CHILDREN 25 is' News from Washington declare Children's Day a permanent, national holiday. "That way, Congress would not have to pass a reso- Continued from page 11 lution each year," said Ms. Rechter. Each year for the past 6 years, either the House or effective parenting through counseling, mentoring andthe Senate has passed a one-time resolution. Earlier parenting education, dissemination of educationalHouse resolutions declared Children's Day in October. materials and information parenting skills, encourage-But for the past three years, Senator Graham has spon- ment of positive father involvement, including the posi-sored a Senate resolution declaring that Children's Day tive involvement of non-resident fathers, and otheris the first Sunday in June. methods." "This nestles it between Mother's Day and Father's The other fatherhood bills which have been pend-Day, just where it should be," said CRC President David ing, but which are not expected to pass, are S. 653, in-L. Levy. troduced by Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN) and H.R. 1300, in- CRC held a press conference on National Child's troduced by Rep. Julia Carson (D-IN). Also previouslyDay at the National Capital Children's Museum, at- introduced were bills sponsored by Rep. Nancy Johnsontended by Washington, D.C. and Senate officials. (R-CT), former chairman of the Human Resources Sub- committee, and Rep. Ben Cardin (D-MD), ranking Democrat on the Human Resources Subcommittee. BOOKS:THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF DIVORCE H.R. 2893 provides for national campaigns, includ- Wallerstein*s landmark 25 -yea t7: ing a national media campaign, which possibly only study "The Unexpected Legacy of: the National Fatherhood Initiative would quality for Divorce" urovides convincing evi- because of its media experience. CRC would prefer a dence that divorcehas,Iong-lasting: state-by-state approach to media campaigns and other effects ulat'sproutrootS.:in a child programs, which was the approach of S. 653 and H.R. early years. Through descriptions 1300. You may wish to write to your Representative in of the personal stories of five Congress urging that the media campaign approach of people, which have heert coin- S. 653 and H.R. 1300 be adapted to H.R. 2893. posedoyer 25 yearsopii7deptji. in Other programs in the bill would be run state by state in H.R. 2893, but not the media campaign. A local Wallerstein emphaSizes iheimpor- approach to media would allow states to tailor the Lance of seeing the world :0:trough each media approach to the particular needs within eachindividual's eyes. In thislight.:she depicts the inipor, state, and to permit wider distribution of funding. For :ant turning points for thildrine.adivorre'over time example, TV may be the best forum in some parts of aand hoW individuals can overcome the 'tmaxpected state, newspaper or magazine ads elsewhere, or flyers legacy' they are left to deal with. and pamphlets in a yet third geographic area...... 1AEVeryone effected by diymxh4,51.heirown story Because Republicans generally favor local andand anyone will be able to recognize aspects of them- state control of funding, your argument to themselves in thestortes Wallerstein describes., :inone of should be based on this argument. For Democraticthe first ever long-term reports orOdiviirce. (as well as Republican) Congressmembers, indicateWallerstein-c:omoares a control group 4Children the groups in your state that might qualify for suchfroth intact. homes. to !Malik prove that adult chit=, funding on the local level. dien Of divorce view life differently from theirpeers... Note: Although these are called fatherhood bills,This book will have an impacton parents who are CRC views them as parenting bills, because we seedeciding whether or not they should .get p.,0y.prce. the aim as connecting fathers to mothers to children.spotiSeS'Of adult children of diVOrce. Childrenrifdi vorce and concerned legalpersons who have never President Bush Urged to Make been able to hear the very voices of those whoare Child's Day a National Holiday effected by the legal aspects of divorce. Other rese.anthers disagree as to 'Whether the,ci The U.S. is one of the few countries that do not cel-feels of divorce are as long-range andas v.idespread:: ebrate a national child's day. But that situation may beas Wallerstein contends. but this an,iewerfound the: changing. book very convincing in its descriptions and After the U.S. Senate passed a resolution declaring the first Sunday in June as Children's Day for the year Book Review by CRC staffer Jorciana Ravick 2001, President Bush issued a supportive proclamation. The presidential proclamation marked Sunday, June 3, CO-authors.-.with Walierstern of -The ilifexperrea 2001, as National Child's Day. Legacy of Divorce" are.:julia At Lewis and Sandra. The Senate Resolution was sponsored by SenatorBlakeslee. page..:hook. published.by Hyperion. Bob Graham (D-FL). books, sells fof;:$25, available on CRCI.website book, CRC and FOCUS, a group based in Florida headedstore Quickbuy.,www.goesc.com. or on order f arm in this by Ms. Lee Rechter, are now asking the President to

26 SPEAK OUT BEST COPY AVAILABLE 182 Around the Country and Abroad HAPTER AND AFFILIATE ORGANIZATION HIGHLIGHT Continued from page 13 Simon and Schuster to Publish Co Mamas Book DADS Michigan sponsored a rally and National Tragedy observance at the main lobby/ro- tunda of the state capitol in Lan- sing. Speakers included a dozen notables from all three branches of state government, including supreme court justices, state house representatives, the assistant attorney general, and the director of child support enforcement. Lynn Louise Representatives from domestic Ringwood Ringwood-Oxhom violence centers and law enforcement attended. The keynote address was delivered by CRC Co Mamas will have its first book entitled "Step-wives", published President David L. Levy, accom- by Simon and Schuster by Mother's Day, 2002. Simon and Schuster panied by Margaret Wuwert of has committed to sending the Co Mamas, Lynn Ringwood and Louise CRC Ohio. CRC child spokesper- Ringwood-Oxhorn, on a six-city tour for the book. That is an unusual son Hadassah Luther sang "God commitment from a publisher. Bless America." About 75 people Lynn and Louise were mom and stepmom, antagonistic to each attended, with media coverage other for years, until one day they sat down and decided they had a by Channel 5. lot in common the raising of Evan. They not only started cooperat- A special thank you goes to those ing, but took their cause nationally, with publicity, talking to other who held "Home Vigils", which moms and stepmoms, and now this book, where Mothers and Step- greatly helped to strengthen the mothers learn how to end their war. message of Equal Parents' Week. The more than 200 pages contains a 10 step program that includes Contact Patti to provide help charts, checklists, and quizzes. with Equal Parents' Week in Sep- tember, 2002. Phone and fax: 909/591-3689. Email: Point of Contact in Wyoming [email protected] Website: www.Members.tripod.com/CPWeek Cori Erickson, head of Wyoming Children's Access Network, is CRC's new point of contact in the state of Wyoming. The Children's Access Network received a "2001 Best in Parenting" award at CRC's 13th national conference in May, 2001. The Network is a program to help parents who are divorced, separated, or never-married put together developmentally appropriate residence and parenting responsibility plans through parent education, and mediation. The Network CRC is a member of has helped more than 1,200 parents during the past three years. Cori has two children, 6 year old Kael, and 9 year old Jordan, from a previous marriage. "I love what I do, and I believe that this Access Net- work has helped numerous families."

Contact Person in Maine Tom Chandel, a divorced dad of three children, Renee, 15, Eric, 14, and Jake, 11, has agreed to be a contact person for CRC of Maine. Tom Children's has worked in the custody reform movement in Maine for four years. Charities Jan and Tedd Brown, who previously headed the Maine CRC chap- of America ter, are working on establishing what may be the only Battered Men's Hotline in the U.S. For information, call tollfree at 1-877-643-1120, access code 0757.

FOR CHILDREN 27 183 Children's Father Dies CRC TO FILE CLASS ACTION LAW SUIT FOR Grandparents' Access SHAREDPARENTING: Denied AL its 13th conference in:May, der diversity among the 2001. CRC announced that plaintiff's class of litigants, plans to file a class action lawsuit along with the inclusion of on behalf of the constitutional children, will help minimize right by children to shared he gender politics issues from parenting by their fit mothers and rearing its ugly head and keep fathers. the focus wherei:It.,belongs CRC had MOO to file this suit on a child's right arid need for in 2001. but challenges faced in maximizing involvement of mounting a national lawsuit of both fit parents .Althcitigh we this magnitude have been larger need to focus on plaintiffs than anticipated. CRC hopes to from the Washington. D.0 file the suit in 2002. in federal dis- area. we need potential plain- Jodi Luther. trict court in theDistrict of Co- tiffs from anywherei..in the brother of perhaps:,,themost pro- country to deninnstrate the Hadassah gressive of all the 13 federal cir- universal nature of this prob- Luther. CRC cuit courts in the U.S What CRC lem The suit will assert that child spokes- needs are federal constitutional law re- person. and 1. Funds. To researen,,:mouni.and. quires a natural rebuttable son of BettyJo publicize this suit could take:. presumption for shared andDavid or parenting. Kandice Luther, died necessaryattract enough at This right is derived:from the in an accident tention to the suit so that. it isfundamental liberty Interest of On the grounds ofthe family home mOrellikelWO!::Occive favor parents to participatefully in the in Arnenia. NewYork:on May a blernedia ttendon. Judie:::upbringing. education, and train- 2001. like everyone else, can he af.:ing of their child ren,100to share Jodi was a pilot for American fected by how an issue isfully in providing their children Airlines (he loved flying, said his viewed in the community. with love, nurture, and care. dad. David) He built. his own. Lawyers. CRC needs attorneys Due process requires shared home: did sandblasting and welek:,,: who are not only toparenting for fit parents, and ing. hiked nature trailSanci help prepare the brief and re-equal protection of the law means car engines. lated materials, but also to filethat divorced parents should He was 36 and left a 16year old non-CRC sponsored indi-have the same protection to the Son. Justin. and a 10 year old vidual and class action law-companionship of their children daughter. Kandice. Jodi had full suits in the various states. Wethat married parents enjoy custody::of the children in New will provide attorneys with a The hurdles will be formi- York State. but the Luthers have model briefHthat can hedable. For ,example;] the U.S. Su- 'not seen their grandchildren since adapted to filing in their states.preme Court has stated that par JOCiVs death, because of interfer- 3. Plaintiffs. CRC needs plain-ems have a fundamental liberty enee:from the ex-wife. tiffsfit parents who haveinterest in the care and compan- They have not seen their been denied shared parentingionship of their children, but the grandchildren even though they :joint custody) within recentcourt has never stated that such live on the same property-5 acres months not 5 years ago), asa right specifically applies to as- ofthe 150 acre Luther farm in well as children who havesurefitparents of shared Dinchess::County that his parents sought shared parenting. Mi-parenting in the event of separa- gave to Jritif to hitildaliouse. Jod i's nors can riot file suit on theirtion or divorce, or for never-mar- ex-wife rtOOkeiver.JOWs house and own: hut they can speakried parents. keeps the;children away from their through a parent or courtap- TO:make better law. we must grandparents: The:Liithers are in pOinted attorney. CRC needsbreak new ground court attempting to obtain access mothers and children as well Please support this effort. totheingrandchildren. asfathers:to he plaintilfsA;en- For more information, contact CRC

28 SPEAK OUT BEST COPY AVAILABLE 184 $500 CRC COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP AVAILABLE

CRC will award a $500 scholarship Instructions for Student Applicants in the Frank Banner III Scholarship Fund in 2002. More than one schol- CRC will award at least one $500 scholarship to arship will be awarded, if contribu- the Frank Banner III Scholarship Fund in 2002. tions permit. The rules for applying are: This scholarship fund was an- You must be related to a current member of nounced in early 2001, but no one the national Children's Rights Council. You applied by the May 15, 2001 dead- should write no more than a two to three line. See Fall 2000/Winter 2001 Frank Banner page letter to CRC. (Letters more than three "Speak Out for Children." pages long will not be read). The fund was established to acknowledge Frank The letter should state the following: Banner III, who turned 14 on September 9, 2001, but 1. Your name, address, telephone number and his dad could not wish him Happy Birthday. That's the date at the top of the letter; because young Frank was one of 160,000 children kid- 2. The name and location of your high school; napped by a parent each year. 3. What college you plan to attend in the Fall of Was Mr. Banner an abusive or neglectful parent? 2002; Hardly. He is a deputy U.S. Marshall, and his 6 other 4. Your relationship (child, grandchild, other children turned out just fine. family member) to the member of national In October, 2000, Mr. Banner received the worst news CRC. If unsure as to whether national mem- a parent can hear. One of his daughters, 31 year old bership is current, you or the adult can con- Loretta Mae, was murdered. The killer was caught. The tact CRC; funeral was delayed until one of Banner's sons, Kiley, 5. Explain any struggle that you have had to could return home from the U.S. military in Korea. overcome in your life, what you learned from Mr. Banner is the head of CRC's Washington, D.C. it, and how it will help you in your college chapter. He operates a transfer center for children and experience; offers weekly parenting education classes. He also runs 6. Tell us about yourself, your previous accom- other programs, including programs in the African- plishments, your future career goals or life American community. He has done so much at personal expectations, and in what ways you would and financial sacrifice, as do many advocates for chil- benefit from this scholarship; dren across the country. CRC hopes this scholarship 7. Sign the letter; Attach unofficial transcripts fund will focus attention on the plight of all children at and any other relevant documents, not to ex- risk of abuse, neglect, and abandonment, all of which ceed an additional three pages. factors are increased when the child does not have both Letter of recommendation from the CRC mem- a mother and a father in the child's life. ber and one other person, such as a counselor or We welcome your tax-deductible contributions to teacher. the Frank Banner III College Scholarship Fund. Only children or other high school students related Letters should be addressed to: to current national Children's Rights Council members Mr. Frank Banner Jr. are eligible to apply for the scholarship (s). See applica- Children's Rights Council tion information in the box to the right. College Scholarship Fund CRC Ohio Coordinator Margaret Wuwert and her 300 "I" Street, N.E. family have donated to the Fund in memory of Washington, D.C. 20002 Margaret's father, Richard Bowers, who died October 24, 2001. Letters must be received by May 15, 2002. Recipient(s) will be notified by June 10.

Bring Nashville Stars to Your City Sponsor a Grand Ole Opry country music bus tour The -bus will inciude Grand Ole Oory member Ernie Ashworth. 13-vear-old Nash- ville Young Vocalist Award:Winner Hadassah Luther and other ris- i ng co LI n try stars. ContactEetty Jo Luther at 1.--800---DLuther for more information.

FOR CHILDREN 29 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 185 NATIONAL AFFILIATE ORGANIZATIONS AND CHAPTERS

International Alabama Family Rights Georgia Stave Carrier, president 4 West 105th Street phone and fax: 615/952- Association Harry A. Prillaman, CRC of Massachusetts New York, NY 10025 2498 CRC of Great Britain P.O. Box 9239 coordinator 511 Main Street Hotline: 212/431-7724 mail: Tony and Christine Coe, Huntsville, AL 35812 CRC of Georgia P.O. Box 904 phone:212/864-0318 [email protected] coordinators Phone: 1-800-992-1190 808 Springharbor Court Sturbridge, MA 01566 email: Children's Rights Council website: www.alfra.org Woodstock, GA 30188- phone: 508/347-5960 arnycebetterdivorce.corn Texas of the United Kingdom 5509 fax:508/347-9870 Diana Buffington, 38-40 Gloucester Road Alaska phone: 678/643-5924 email: CRCMASSOaolcom Marlin Pierce, coordinator London, SW7 4QU Gary Maxwell, fax:678/643-5923 CRC of Albany CRC of Texas England coordinator email:ppillaeusibm.com George Kelly, chairman 13 Campagna Drive 18959 Dallas Parkway, phone: 011-44-20 7589 9003 CRC of Alaska Concerned Fathers of Albany, NY 12205 #723 fax:011-44-20 7584 4230 P.O. Box 92003 Illinois Massachusetts, Inc. phone: 518/459-8474 Dallas, TX 75287 email: Anchorage, AK 99509- Terry Cady, coordinator P.O. Box 2768 phone: 214/485-1518 tonyasequalparenting.mg 2083 CRC of Illinois Springfield, MA 01101- North Carolina/South fax:214/630-1143 website: phone: 907/277-3980 905 Wayne Avenue 2768 Carolina e-mail: www.equalparenting.org fax: 907/276-3980 Deerfield, II.. 60015 phone: 413/736-7432 Fred Wall. Jr. coordinator wabbittleexcite.com email: [email protected] phone: 847/374-0461 fax:413/732-3867 509 North 7th Street website: CRC of Japan fax:312/322-3553 Wilmington. NC 28401 wwwarminitydallEerehsam/ Walter Benda Arizona email: terry.cadyedvi- Michigan phone: 910/762-4952 dmn/crctx P.O. Box 583 Conrad Greene, inccom Barbara Toth, coordinator email: [email protected] Max Meadows, VA 24360 coordinator CRC of Michigan Children's Rights phone: 540/637-3799 CRC of Arizona Indiana P.O. Box 653 Dan Carrigan, Director Coalition (affiliate) email: emarieearthlink.net P.O. Box 454 Bob Monday, coordinator Edmore, MI 48829-0653 Center for Children of P.O., Box 12961 website: Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 CRC of Indiana phone: 517/427-5774 Separation and Divorce Capitol Station www.geodties.com/ phone: 480/970-5903 540 Crest Point Lane 4950 Park Road Austin, TX 78711-2961 crcjapan fax: 480/970-5925 Plainfield, IN 46168 Minnesota Charlotte, NC 28209 fax: 215/499-8056 and phone: 317/685-4656 Bruce Kaskubar, phone: 704/522-1331 email:[email protected] David Brian Thomas California email: coordinator 4-18-15-903 Kamlki Patricia Gehlen, paceindianagyahoo.com CRC of Minnesota Ohio Virginia Tazawa coordinator 5905 Chateau Road N.W. Margaret Wuwert, Murray Steinberg, Setagaya-Ku P.O. Box 163801 Grandparent Rights in Rochester, MN 55901 coordinator president Tokyo, Japan 156 Sacramento. CA 95816- New Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) phone and fax: 507/289- CRC of Ohio CRC of Virginia, phone: 011-81-3-5317-0357 9081 Kay and Ray Berryhill, 5745 (call before faxing) 4069 West Sylvania Richmond chapter phone and fax: 916/635- co-directors email: Avenue 9244 Royal Grant Drive CRC of Sierra Leone 2590 0689 CR 5 Eturekaskubanisdelaidnerksarn Toledo, OH 43623 Mechanicsville, VA 23116 Yottro Kargbo email: cro:alifeaolcom Corunna, IN 46730 phone: 419/473-8955 phone:(804) 559-7090 3505 Covered Bridge phone: 219/281-2384 Missouri tollfree: 1-866-473-8957 fax: (804) 559-7072 Lane Colorado Scott Field, chair e-mail: email: familyecstone.net Woodbridge, VA 22192 Mark Entrekin, Iowa - See Nebraska/ CRC of Eastern Missouri hummelfan7eaolcom phone and fax: 703/897- coordinator Iowa P.O. Box 220661 Paul Robinson, president 7845 CRC of Colorado Kirkwood, MO 63122 Or contact: Fathers United for Equal and 4715 Ranch Circle Kentucky phone: 314/963-4668 Kevin O'Brien, director Rights and Women's Esther Kargbo Colorado Springs, CO Kevin O'Brien, atl. phones: Scott 314/838- CRC of Southern Ohio Coalition 7 Sanal Abacha Street 80918-4118 coordinator 7092 P.O. Box 8805 P.O. Box 1323 Freetown, Sierra Leone phone 719/548-8798 Ann Swango, director Mark Holdended 314/772- Cincinnati. OH 45208 Arlington, VA 22210-1323 phone: 011-23-2-22222-8682 fax 719/597-2218 CRC of Kentucky 1169 phone: 513/624-7223 phone: (703) 451-8580 email: cochildreraaolcom P.O. Box 534 email: fax:513/624-3703 fax:(703) 451-9321 National Affiliate Florence, KY 41022-0534 crceasternmo@bigfootoom email: email: Organizations Connecticut phone:859/647-2235 website: kobrienepacegroup.org [email protected] Mark Roseman, email: www.hometown.aol.com/ website: Mothers Without coordinator pacekyeegroups.com crceastemmo/ www.pacegroup.org Washington State Custody (MVV/OC) CRC of Connecticut website: myhomepage/Index.html Jamaica Filgo Jennifer [sham, 48 Shepards Knoll Drive www.pacegroup.org James Welty, president CRC of Washington coordinator Hamden, CT 06514 Jim Moore, president CRC of Northeast Ohio 10011 33rd Avenue S.E., website only hop: phone: 203/288-7827 Maine CRC of Southwestern 2804 East Center Street Apt A wwwreuthoswihoutcustorlytsg fax:203/281-1425 Tom Chandel Missouri N. Kingsville, OH 44068 Everett, WA 98208 email: libros3eaolcom CRC of Maine 619 East Silsby phone: 440/224-0694 phone: 425/379-9666 Stepfamlly Association website: www.ctoc.org P.O. Box 7 Springfield, MO 65807 email: of America (SAA) Bridgton, Maine 04009 phone: 417/889 -2121 Oregon jamaicafilgotbaolcom Margorie Engel, Ph.D., Delaware phone: (207) 647-5711 email: Roy Nolan, coordinator president James A. Morning. email: tomchandenix.com JMatCRCSVVMOSPaolcom CRC of Oregon West Virginia Larry Kallemyn, president P.O. Box 2095 Ginger Thompson Executive Director CRC of Delaware Maryland Nebraska/Iowa Portland, OR 97208 McDaniel 650 J Street, Suite 205 P.O. Box 1311 Harvey Walden, Lyn and William Huerter, phone: 503/232-8630 CRC of West Virginia Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 Dover, DE 19901 coordinator coordinators fax: 503/233-9390 109 North Arthur Drive phone: 402/477-7837 phone: 302/734-8522 CRC of Maryland Kevin Boston, president Charleston, WV 25312 1-800/735-0329 email: 417 Pershing Drive CRC of Nebraska Pennsylvania phone: 304/744-6534 Joint membership in SAA jmomingebellatlanticnet Silver Spring, MD 20910- P.O. Box 45387 Michael Nieland, M.D. fax304/744-8657 and CRC: 535.00 for the 4254 Omaha, NE 68145-0387 president email: wvaftp@aoLcom first year District of Columbia phone: 301/588-0262 phone: 402/330-3353 (voice CRC of Pittsburgh Frank Banner, email: mdcregyahoo.com and fax) 1400 Inverness Avenue Wyoming Parenting Coalition coordinator website: email: childreneradiks.net Pittsburgh, PA 15217 Cori Erickson International, Inc. CRC of the District of www.memberstripod.com/ website: www.himp.net/ phone: 412/621-0222 CRC of Wyoming Belinda Rollins, president Columbia -mdcrc/ oma 50 East Loucks Street, 1025 Connecticut Avenue Hillcrest Children's Rita A. Jones, president Suite 206 N.W., Suite 6156 Center Rob and Sandra Snow, New Jersey Bill Clemens, J.D., Sheridan, WY 82801 Washington, D.C. 20036 1325 "W" Street N.W., 3rd chairs Eric Purasson, president treasurer phone: 307/674-5595 phone: 202/530-0849 floor CRC of Greater Baltimore New Jersey Council for CRC of Philadelphia fax:307/674-5510 website: Washington, D.C. 20009 2 West 39th Street Children's Rights P.O. Box 11413 email: www.parentingcoalition.org phone: 202/232-6100 Baltimore, MD 21218 (NJCCR) Philadelphia, PA 19111 wycanewavecom.net fax:202/483-4560 phone and fax: 410/889- P.O. Box 195 phone: 215/844-2372 (Rita Co Mamas 9404 Old Bridge, NJ 08857- after 6 p.m.) or 215 /745- CRC General Counsel Louise Oxhom and Lynne Florida email: [email protected] 0195 0594 (Bill) Michael L. Oddenino's Ringwood-Oxhom Kris Kline, coordinator phone: 201/434-7938 P.O. Box 231804 email address is CRC of Florida Massachusetts email: South Carolina-see [email protected]; his Encinitas, CA 92023 502 South Willow Ave, Carolyn Brumber, [email protected] North Carolina phone: 760/942-4572 website is Unit 5 coordinator website: www.nJeccorg www.oanglaw.com. The email: Tampa, FL 33606 CRC of Massachusetts Tennessee feelgoodecomamas.com phone: 813/635-0633 16 Union Street New York David Courson, email address for Famly fax813/620-9068 Holiston, MA 01746 Rafee Kamaal and coordinator Law Attorney John L State Chapters email: phone: 508/429-5282 Elizabeth Schnee, co- CRC of Tennessee Buaserman, Jr., CRC KLINEKRIS@aolcom email: presidents 2120 GriffIntown Road Board Chairman, is Alabama cbrumbertamediaone.net CRC of New York City White Bluff, TN 31708- jlbausermanjr@aoicom Frank Hicks, president 5207

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