Speak out for Children, 1998-1999. INSTITUTION Children's Rights Council, Inc., Washington, DC

DOCUMENT RESUME

ED 433 149 PS 027 885

AUTHOR Levy, David L., Ed. TITLE Speak Out for Children, 1998-1999. INSTITUTION Children's Rights Council, Inc., Washington, DC. ISSN ISSN-1042-3559 PUB DATE 1999-00-00 NOTE 77p.; For 1997 newsletters, see PS 027 406. AVAILABLE FROM Children's Rights Council, Inc., 300 "I"Street, N.E., Suite 401, Washington, DC 20002; Tel: 202-547-6227. PUB TYPE Collected Works Serials (022) JOURNAL CIT Speak Out for Children; v13 n1-3 Spr-Win 1998-1999 EDRS PRICE MF01/PC04 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS Child Custody; *Children; *Childrens Rights; *Court Litigation; *Divorce; Family Violence; Fathers; *Federal Legislation; Parent Education; *Parent Rights; Parents; Public Policy IDENTIFIERS Marital Separation; Unmarried Parents

ABSTRACT This document comprises the three issues of Volume 13 of the "Speak Out for Children" newsletter, published to strengthen families through education and to assist children of unwed parents, separation, and divorce. The Spring 1998 issue contains articles on joint custody and the reduction of parental conflict, access grant programs, standby guardianship, and proposed federal legislation to strengthen financial child support. The Summer-Fall 1998 issue includes articles on the anti-joint custody resolution in the U.S. House of Representatives, locating missing children, the long-term impact of divorce on children, child access to non-custodial parents, and reasonable child support awards. The Winter 1999 issue contains articles on passage of the Access (Visitation) Law, shared parenting, fatherless boys, locating missing children, and helping domestic violence victims by issuing a new Social Security number. Regular features include book reviews, news from individual chapters of the organization, descriptions of relevant court cases, and descriptions of pending federal legislation.(KB)

******************************************************************************** Reproductions supplied by EDRS are the best that can be made from the original document. ******************************************************************************** Vol. 13-No.1 Spring 1998 ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Assisting Children of Through Education Unwed Parents, Separation and Divorce

PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE AND DISSEMINATE THIS MATERIAL HAS BEEN GRANTED BY D. L. Lev.A en

TO THE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES lil INFORMATION CENTER (ERIC)

The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Phone (202)547-6227 IN THIS ISSUE: All States Runnin. g Access Grant Programs News Flashes 3 All 50 states and four jurisdictions (Dis- Arnaudo said that the second round of grants trict of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, and theshould be announced soon. There is $10 million CRC View 4 Virgin Islands) are in the process of implement-available in this second round of grants, just as there ing programs under the first $10 million in ac-was $10 million in the first round. Congress May Seek cess/visitation grants disbursed by the federal Each state received at least $50,000 in the first to Gut Joint Custody 5 government. round of grants, with the average grant totaling about A wide variety of programs are being car-$190,000. California was the largest recipient, receiv- Standby Guardianship6 ried out by the jurisdictions, including Volun-ing more than $1 million. The disbursements were tary and Mandatory Mediation, Counseling,made under a formula based in part on the number Joint Physical Custody Education, Development of Parenting Plans,of single-parent households in the state. Lowers Divorce Rate 7 Visitation Enforcement, Monitored Visitation, The grants are provided under a provision of Supervised Visitation, Neutral Drop-off andthe 1996 Welfare Reform law "to establish and ad- Bills in Congress 8 Pick-up Centers, and Development of Guide-minister programs to support and facilitate non-custo- lines for Visitation and Alternative Custody Ar-dial parents access to and visitation of their children Kids in Joint-Custody rangements. by means of activities including mediation (both vol- Better Adjusted 10 "A mix of programs and services are be-untary and mandatory), counseling, education, devel- ing tested, with no one program or service pre-opment of parenting plans, visitation enforcement (in- Catalog of dominating," said David Arnaudo, who is including monitoring, supervision, and neutral drop-off Resources 12-14 charge of overseeing the access/visitation grantsand pick-up) and development of guidelines for vision behalf of the federal Office of Child Sup-tation and alternative custody arrangements." In the Courts 15 port Enforcement, U.S. Department of Health Continued on page 3 and Human Services. Family Facts 16

R2Z1 the Country 17 New Study by Judith Seltzer Joint Custody Reduces Conflict Even Between Parents CRC 19 Who Don't "Choose" Joint Custody Study Reviewed by Richard A. Kuhn, CRC Evaluator of Research Chapter News 20 Does joint custody help to reduce conflictonly because the more cooperative parents were the between parents or is it simply that more coop-ones that chose joint custody. ual Parents' Week21 erative parents are more likely to agree to joint A new study by Judith Seltzer, Ph.D., Univer- custody arrangements in the first place? sity of Wisconsin-Madison, provides strong evidence st of Chapters 22 Many, studies have demonstrated that jointto refute this claim. custody arrangements lead to much better com- Her research indicates positive effects for joint Thank You 23 pliance in financial child support and greaterlegal custody even among parents who had not cho- parental involvement. But opponents of jointsen joint custody. custody have claimed that these benefits occur Continued on page 19 Stop Congressional Anti-Joint Custody Resolution Sec. 241 of H.R. 3514 See page 5 I L 9 "Speak Out for Children"is published by the Children's Rights Council, CRC is a member (Number 1513) of Inc. Editor: David L. Levy.Contributors to this Issue: Don Bieniewicz, Richard Kuhn, Paul Robinson, Kenneth Ski lling, college student interns Erin Clifton, Eureka College, Illinois; Karoline Hay, Hood College, Maryland.Newsletter layout by Kathleen L. Ballard.

Children's About CRC Charities of The Children's Rights Council (CRC) and providing for emotional and financial America is a nation-wide, non-profit IRS 501(c)(3)child support. We work to strengthen frag- sion, provided the source ("Reprinted from children's rights organization based inile families of children whose parents arethe Children's Rights Council newsletter Washington, D.C. unwed. We also favor school-based pro- `Speak Out for Children,' Fall 1997/Win- CRC works to strengthen familiesgrams for children at risk. ter 1998") is given. For non-CRC material, through education and advocacy. We favor Formed in 1985 by concerned par-obtain permission from the copyright family formation and family preservation,ents who have more than 40 years collec- owner. For further information about CRC but if families break up, or are never formed,tive experience in custody reform and early membership, publications, cassettes, cata- we work to assure a child the frequent andchildhood education, CRC has chapters in log, and services, write: CRC, 300 "I" Street continuing contact with two parents and32 states and three national affiliate organi- N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002; extended family the child would normallyzations: Mothers Without Custody (MW/ phone (202) 547-6227; fax (202) 546-4CRC have during a marriage. Our motto is "TheOC), Parents Without Partners (PWP), and (4272). Best Parent is Both Parents." the Stepfamily Association of America With a browser, the CRC home For the child's benefit, CRC favors(SAA). page's URL is http://www.vix.com/crc/ parenting education before marriage, dur- Prominent professionals in the fields CRC's email address: [email protected] ing marriage, and for parents who are un-of religion, law, social work, psychology,Speak Out for Children is published four wed or separated. We work to demilitarizechild care, education, business, and govern- times a year and is sent free to members. divorce between parents who are involvedment comprise our Advisory Panel. Library rate: $20.00 a year. Send letters, in marital disputes, substituting conciliation Material in this newsletter authored comments and articles for publication to and mediation for the adversarial process,by CRC may be reprinted without permis-Editor, CRC.

OFFICERS AND NATIONAL Karen DeCrow Crystal Lake, Illinois BOARD MEMBERS SPOKESPERSONS Former President of N.O.W. David L. Levy, Esq. President and Darryl Grant, Washington Redskins Jamesville, New York Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. CEO Superbowl XVII and XXII Champion Executive Director Paul R. Locigno Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author Elliott H. Diamond Northern California Mediation Center Susette Watt Co-Founder, CRC John Bauserman,Jr., Esquire EVALUATORS Reston, Virginia Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. Joan Langworthy OF RESEARCH Author, Psychiatrist John Guidubaldi, Ed.D. Phyllis Diller, Comedienne Head Waters, Virginia HONORARY PRESIDENT D. Richard Kuhn Los Angeles, California David Brenner, entertainer Nancy Heleno Obetz Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist New York, New York Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author Deephaven, Minnesota ADVISORY PANEL former Member of the Board of GENERAL COUNSEL Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Directors, New York City N.O.W. James Levine, The Fatherhood Project Michael L. Oddenino Former President, Board of Rabbis Leucadia, California The Family and Work Institute Arcadia, California of Greater Washington, DC New York, New York Larry Gaughan, Professional Director DIRECTOR OF David Birney, Actor Family Mediation of Greater John Money, Ph.D. Professor of INFORMATION SERVICES Santa Monica, California Washington, D.C. Medical Psychology and Pediatrics Ed Mudrak Johns Hopkins University and Hospi- Hon. Sherwood Boehlert Jonathan M. Goodson, President tal DIRECTOR OF MARKETING U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Mark Goodson Productions Baltimore, Maryland Philip E. Thommen Los Angeles, California Pat Boyd, President Hon. Debbie Stabenow DIRECTOR OF PARENTING Parents Without Partners (PWP) Hon. Bob Graham U.S. Congresswoman (D-MI) EDUCATION PROGRAMS U.S. Senator (D-FL) Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. Jim Cook, President Hon. Fred Thompson Salt Lake City, Utah Joint Custody Association Jennifer 'sham, President U.S. Senator (R-TN) Los Angeles, California Mothers Without Custody (MW/OC) PARENTING EDUCATION SPOKESPERSON "Dear Abby" Wes Unseld, (Abigail Van Buren) Change of Address VP Washington Bullets Los Angeles, California To keep newsletters and other materials coming, please Member, NBA Hall of Fame notify CRC three weeks in advance of any address change. Judith L Bauersfeld, Ph.D. President, Stepfamily Association of Send old and new addresses to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.W., America \ktiite 401, Washington, DC 20002 Page 2 Speak Out For Children Spring 1998 3 r !!NEWS FLASHES!! Letters to the Editor 1:Read "The War Against Parents," a new book by Sylvia Editor: Arm Hewlett and Comel West.It is excellent. The sections on child support and access/visitation could have I am writing to show my appreciation to Mr. Frank been written by CRC! Banner and the Children's Rights Council. 2:Read Time magazine, May 5, 1998 issue, cover story about After exhausting all avenues within the court system, Bipin Shah, whose two daughters have been kidnappedchild support enforcement and lawyers, to no avail, I felt lost. by the mother and hidden in the "underground" by Faye Then I contacted CRC, and you referred me to Frank Ban- Yaeger. ner, head of CRC's Washington, D.C. chapter. 3:See CRC Press release about the Boston/Florida Fagan kidnapping case. Banner counseled me on the proper procedure to handle my situation with my daughter and her mom. With- Copies of 2 and 3 are available from CRC Non-Members sendout the knowledge, expertise and personal experience, I prob- self-addressed, stamped (55) envelope and $5. Free for Mem- ably wouldn't have been successful. I am eternally grateful bers with a self-addressed, stamped (55) envelope. for this Godsend. L J My daughter's name is Stephanie. She is 15 and in middle school. She and I are very close and I value our rela- Nebraska/Iowa is Still tionship very much. The quantity and quality of time we spend CRC's Largest Chapter together is priceless. We have struggled to maintain this rap- For the second year in a row, Nebraska/lowa is CRC'sport since her birth. This is why I went through such lengths largest chapter. The coordinators are Lyn and Bill Huerter,to keep this relationship ongoing. It is just as important to who say the substantial number of phone calls from custo-her as it is to me. This situation also affects a host of family dial and noncustodial parents, grandparents and childrenmembers who care deeply about our well-being. make their office seem as busy as Grand Central Station. Mike It makes me feel good to know that I'm not alone in Hyland is the Omaha chapter president. Other chapters andthis. And to all others, never give up hope! I will help others chapter leaders are: Leah and Terry Mullen, Council Bluffs,as I have been helped. God bless! IA; Debbie and Neil Faber, Alliance, NE; Linda and Gaylord Dose, Hampton, NE; and Chris and Jim Babcook, and HelenAntonio Jones Harwager, Lincoln, NE. Washington, D.C.

Access Grant senior vice-president of Bank ofin CRC's existing parenting education Continued from page 1 America. "Having a successful business-seminars, establish a special masters pro- Each state and jurisdiction is ex-man like Terry Cady in a leadership rolegram (the first in New York state) to help pected to receive about the samein CRC is inestimable," said CRC boardhighly conflicted and litigious parents amount of money in the second roundmember and businessman Paulwork out a parenting agreement they can of grants as it received in the first round,Locigno. live with, helping two neighboring coun- although some grants may vary. The Virginia Fatherhood Initia-ties (Tompkins and Cortland) to set up tive (VFI), headed by Michael and Cindytheir own parenting education programs, CRC of Illinois Ewing, received $23,000 from the stateand hold a workshop for judges and at- Gets $200,000 of Virginia for the "Virginia Children'storneys on access/visitation issues. (Mas- From what CRC can determine,Access Program." The funds will enableters and special masters exist in some only a limited number of CRC-typeVFI to establish neutral drop-off andstates to help judges resolve domestic groups applied in their states for fund-pick-up centers, telephone access coun-relations issues). ing. Of these, several received funds.seling, mediation, referrals to other ser- David L. Levy and CRC re- They are: vicessuch as parenting skills classes,ceived a $10,000 grant from the state of CRC of Illinois, headed bydivorce education, family therapy, andMissouri to provide consulting services Terry Cady, will administer $200,000 inanger management. Both Michael andto the Office of Child Support Enforce- access/visitation funds for programs inCindy took mediation training, and will ment on the state's access/visitation pro- DuPage County, just outside Chicago.staff four sites for neutral drop off and grams, to author three articles that de- The programs would include neutralpick up centers in the Chesapeake, Nor-scribe the progress of access grants in drop-off and supervised visitation sites,folk, and Virginia Beach areas. the U.S. in general and Missouri in par- access/visitation education, counseling, CRC of New York State,ticular for publication in three journals, and a separate program for never-mar-headed by Kim Boedecker-Frey, re-to speak at a judicial conference and one ried parents who need information andceived $32,600 from New York State toother conference. help on parenting and access. Cady isaoffer follow-up services to participants

Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 3 4 This way, it is not just you, the aggrieved party, com- eRe *co plaining, but a third party whom the media or legislator can 4 Vega e "wet see believes you. It gives your complaint more credibility! You know you are a good parent, and have been ag- "I haven't seen my child in sixgrieved. And everyone who loves you knows that you have months." been wronged. Your child misses you, as you miss your child. "I see my child only once every But the media or legislator to whom you are writing Levy month, because my ex-spouse constantlydon't know you from a hole in the head. And given the skep- puts roadblocks in the way." ticism in this country about non-custodial parents, they aren't "The courts don't understand that my child has beenlikely to believe you, or care to try to help you, unless a cred- alienated from me." ible 3rd party lends his or her name to your cause. Even then, These are what many of the parents who call CRC say. times are tough. But the 3rd party support makes your case We try to help them. And so do our chapters, and manystronger. other groups around the country. Let the recipient of your letter "hang his hat" upon the Sometimes, the parents who contact CRC mail or faxwords of a professional who supports your allegations. us 10 or 20 pages of unsolicited material about their cases. When you can attract a professional, such as a psycholo- Some of them say they have mailed or faxed those 10gist, school teacher, counselor, or other respected 3rd party or 20 pages to the media, or to their elected representatives, to your cause, you enhance your case immeasurably. Be sure and they have received no reply. to get the person's comments in writing. No wonder! As a fall-back position, ask a member of your family Who is going to read 10 to 20 pages of unsolicitedfor such a written statement of support. That won't be as cred- material? ible as an independent 3rd party, but anyone is better than Almost nobody. just you speaking on your behalf. Bulky material too often goes unread by the media and 4) At the top of the letter, provide your name, address elected representatives. They receive so many communica-and phone number. In the letter, provide address, and phone tionssometimes hundreds of pieces of paper cross their desknumber of anyone else you quote. every day, they just aren't going to read a bulky unasked for Then wait and see if your one page even gets a reply. appeal for help. The messages that bombard all of us each If you don't get a reply, write again 2 or 3 weeks later, day require us to be selective in what we absorb if we are toor make a phone call. Or email the person. survive. If they respond, but the response seems off point, re You may be willing to review something at some lengthwrite the letter, or phone them, or start over again. if you know the person who is writing to you, but when you Be polite, but be persistent receive a "cold communication"that is, from someone you #### don't know, your patience is often thinner. I also find it frustrating when people call CRC and say At CRC, we always tell people to consider carefullythey have been fighting all by themselves for access. whether they want to involve the media or legislators in their They don't seem to realize that a support group, whether case, but if they do, they should observe the following rules:a CRC chapter or other organization, can provide resources, 1) Keep your initial communication to one page; a knowledge base, and information that is otherwise not pos- 2) the one page should start off with the comments of asible to obtain. professional or other third party who can verify the facts you I sometimes ask them, "What field are you in?" are saying, for example, "I believe that Sam Smith has been Whether it be engineer, truck driver, school teacher, or unfairly denied access to his daughterJoan, and that this mattermarketing representative, I ask them, could I become knowl- should be investigated,"Signed, Dr. Michael Tobias, psy-edgeable in your field without training, guidance, education? chologist (with address and phone number) Of course not! or "Then what makes you think you can tread through the "Barbara Jenkins, who is the mother of Julia, shoulddifficult mine field of child custody without guidance?" be allowed to see Julia at our school. I have often seen Bar- They see the point. bara Jenkins, and she is a good mother," signed Doris Jonas, But is it to late? schoolteacher (with address and phone number) I ask, do you think that all you need is a good lawyer? 3) Piggy-back the facts of your case below the comments Trouble is, nobody will be as crazy about your child as of the third party. That is, give your facts below, not aboveyou are. the comments of the psychologist, school teacher, or other So you ought to inform yourself as much as possible party. Say something like this: about how to proceed. "The facts of the case Dr. Tobias (or Doris Jonas) is A support group, like a contact in the media, cannot referring to are as follows... guarantee success. But knowing how to proceed helps enormously. Page 4 Speak Out For Children Spring 1998 5 sly Some in Congress Continue Effortto Gut State Joint Custody Laws The anti-joint custody resolutionare urged to gut joint custody laws, in-port. Davis's office said he was against we reported in our last issue has beenstall the "primary caretaker" rule, anddomestic violence, but he supported incorporated into the Violence Againstgive one parent veto power over jointjoint custody. Women Act II recently introduced in custody. "That is a position we all share," the House. One good piece of news: After asaid Margaret Wuwert, CRC coordina- The resolution is now Sec. 241 ofnumber of his constituents visited him,tor of Ohio. "Now we need to get more H.R. 3514. It is the same resolution asRepublican Congressman Tom Davis ofCongressmembers to do what Tom before. Virginia, who was an original co-spon-Davis has doneand kill this anti-child Under the resolution, the states sor of the Resolution, withdrew his sup-resolution."

The resolution, introduced by CRC's "Joe Congresswatcher"says: Rep. Connie Morella (R-MD), states in full: Resolutions only ask the states to do something, they Sec. 241. Child custody, child abuse, and victims of do-do not require the states to act. mestic violence. However, experience shows that if a Resolutionpasses Expresses the sense of the Congress that for purposes Congress, many states will pass laws thatcarry out the intent of determining child custody, it is in the best interest of chil-of the Resolution. dren to have a presumption that children should have their It is vitally important to get this Resolution dropped main physical residence with the primary caretaker parentfrom the Violence Against Women Act. unless that parent is unfit. Declares that it is not in the best Not changed or amended, but dropped totally! interest of children to: Depending on when Congress takes up consideration 1) force parents to share custody over parental objec-of H.R. 3514, we may be in for a long fighton this resolution. tion, or when there is a history of domesticor family vio- But we must wage the effort now, and continuously. Write lence; early and often. 2) punish abused or protective parents who protect To CRC Supporters: Write letters or make phone calls themselves or their children; to your House member (see addresses below). 3) presume that allegations of domestic and family vio- If you do not hear from your House member within lence are likely to be false, or made for tactical advantageseveral weeks, write again. If the response is not whatyou during custody and divorce proceedings; and want to hear, follow up with another polite, but firm letter 4) make "friendly parent" provisions a factor when therestating your views. is an abusive parent. Let CRC know of the responses you receive. We thank CRC members who have already written, and Expresses the sense of the Congress that: who have sent us copies of their letters. 1) child abuse and child sexual abuse allegations should Keep writing! And get your friends and neighbors to be investigated regardless of when raised or whether the child write! has recanted the allegation; Consider sending a copy of your letter to House Speaker 2) States should be more protective of victims of familyNewt Gingrich and Majority Leader Dick Armey. and domestic violence in custody and visitation determina- The more letters the better! tions and not order mediation, couples counseling, shared Thank you. custody, mutual orders of protection, unsupervised visitation, or other measures when they may endanger such victims; and 3) States should provide training in domestic violence WRITE! and child abuse, as they impact custody, child support and Dear (your House member), Washington, D.C. 20515 visitation determinations, to all professionals who interact with children and parents. Please oppose Sec. 241 of H.R. 3514. Family violence must be eliminated, but allowing one parent to veto joint custody is not the way to do it. Congressman Tom Davis with- CRC on Internet drew his support for this Resolution. I ask you to do the same. Bruce Kaskubar, CRC coordinator in Minnesota. main- Sec. 241 is anti-child and anti-family. Thank you. tains CRC's site on the Internet Worldwide Web. For those of you with a browser, the home page's URL is http:// Sincerely, www.vix.com/crc/ Bruce likes to field questions about CRC Sign your mune, address, and phone number. from individuals, as well as members of othergroups. Spring 199S .57)eak Out For Children Page 5 Standby Guardianship Would Bypass Parents A parent who is ill or dying would Congress Seeks to Stop SAMPLE LETTER be allowed to avoid laws in all 50 statesCustody from Going to the that automatically give custody to theOther Parent if CustodialDear other parent, under a resolution recentlyParent Dies or is Ill passed by Congress as part of the adop- I strongly object to Congress in- tion law. The resolution is a "Sense of Sec. 403. "Sense of Congress Re-terfering with a child's right to two par- the Congress" that asks the states to passgarding Standby Guardianship." ents. laws allowing a parent who is chronically "It is the sense of Congress that I refer to Sec. 403 of the adop- ill or near death to designate a "standbythe States should have in effect laws and tion law (PL 105-89) that urges the states guardian" for the parent's minor chil-procedures that permit any parent whoto bypass laws and procedures in all 50 dren. is chronically ill or near death, withoutstates that give custody to the other par- This would allow the ill or dyingsurrendering parental rights, to designateent in the event of the death or incapaci- parent to bypass the other parent, some-a standby guardian for the parent's mi-tation of a parent. thing that is not currently allowed in anynor children, whose authority would Please introduce a technical cor- state. take effect upon- rection to the "Standby Resolution" "We must fight this provision to1) the death of the parent; passed as part of the Adoption Law to bypass custody to the other parent," said2) the mental incapacity of the parent;make certain that there is no "bypass" CRC President David L. Levy, "We or of the other parent. must stop this attempt to bypass the natu-3) the physical debilitation and consent The technical correction should ral parents of the child." of the parent." state: "It is the sense of Congress that, The sense of Congress, which was without changing any state laws or pro- introduced by Rep. Carolyn Maloney CRC is asking child and family ad-cedures that give custody to the other (D-NY), states in its entirety: vocates to write to Congress to make aparent, the States should have in place "technical correction" (which Congresslaws and procedures for guardianship of often makes to passed legisl4tion), sochildren of a parent..." Writeto Congress! that it would read as follows: Children need their fathers and Write to House members at: mothers. They do not need Congress Representative "It is the sense of Congress thattrying to interfere with their moms and (name of your Representative) the States, without changing any statedads. House of Representatives laws and procedures that gives custody Please let me know if you will in- Washington, D.C. 20515 first to the other parent, should have introduce the "technical amendment" to Write to Senators at: effect laws and procedures that permitthe resolution. Senator (name of your Senator) any parent who is chronically ill or near U.S. Senate death, without surrendering parentalSigned Washington, D.C. 20510 rights, to designate a standby guardian..." WE NEED A THOUSAND LETTERS, FAXES AND PHONE CALLS TO CONGRESS ASKING THEM TO MAKE THE 'TECHNICAL CORRECTION' TO THE STANDBY GUARDIANSHIP RESOLUTION. SEND COPIES OF YOUR LETTERS TO CRC, INCLUDING COPIES OF REPLIES FROM CONGRESSMEMBERS. YOUR LETTERS COUNT!DON'T COMPLAINWRITE!

ORDER CRC BOOK AND MAKE MONEY! CRC has bulk copies of the noout-of-print CRC Book The Best Parent is Both Parents, which we can offer to youyou discount. Order hulk copies (10 or more) of the book for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 each, andmake a profit for you or your organization! Contact CRC fin- more information. S/H $4 for the 1stcopy, $1 for ea. a idyl copy.

Page 6 ,Speak Out For Chfirfren Spring 1 998 7 BEST COPY AVM API F Results Research Law Professors Agree that Joint Physical Custody Lowers the Divorce Rate Two law professors have indepen- A synopsis of the report appearedcustody" in order to manipulate prop- dently found the same correlation dis-in the Fall 1997/Winter 1998 issue oferty settlements, concluded Levmore. covered by CRC, that joint physical cus-Speak Out for Children. In another article in the same Jour- tody lowers the divorce rate. The states with the highest over-nal, Ann Laquer Estin, a law professor In an article in the Indiana Lawall ranking are 1) Montana, 2) Kansas,at the University of Colorado, wrote Journal, Spring, 1998, Vol. 73, No. 2,3) Connecticut, 4) Idaho and 5) Rhode"shared parenting during marriage and Margaret Brinig and F. Buckley, lawIsland. after divorce reflect new social and eco- professors at George Mason University, "Montana, Kansas and Idaho havenomic circumstances and represent a Fairfax, Virginia, concluded, as didstatutory preferences or presumptionsshift away from the older norms with CRC, that federal government datafor joint custody, while Connecticut andmore clearly defined gender roles." shows that the states with the highest lev-Rhode Island do not. We are looking Copies of the 11-page CRC report els of physical joint custody awards hadinto what is favorable in Connecticut and are available to CRC members, upon the lowest divorce rates. Rhode Island to produce these positive receipt of a stamped (55 cent) self-ad- CRC had previously found thateffects," said Kuhn. "Even in Connecti-dressed envelope. Non-members send government data showed that the statescut, Idaho and Rhode Island, it is thesuch an envelope with $5 for handling. with the highest number of physical joint90% of parents who reach voluntary di-CRC membership is $35 a year. custody awards in 1989 and 1990 (morevorce agreements without court battles than 30% of awards) have shown signifi-that help make shared parenting a real- cantly greater decline in divorce rates inity for many children." White House Meeting the following years from 1991 through Joint physical custody means that CRC was authorized to organize a 1995, compared with other states. a child spends at least a third of the timemeeting at the White House with Do- On the other hand, states that fa-with a parent on a year-round basis, al-mestic Policy Advisors to President vored sole custody had more divorcesthough awards of up to 50/50 sharedClinton. David L. Levy of CRC was au- involving children. parenting time are not uncommon. thorized by White House officials to Data from the National Center for In another article in that same is-organize the 2-hour meeting, held April Health Statistics was available from 19sue of the Indiana Law Journal, Saul 1, 1998, with Domestic Policy Advisors states on divorce and physical joint cus-Levmore, University of Virginia LawAndrea Kane, Diana Fortuna, and oth- tody. CRC evaluator of research Rich-School professor, discussed the signifi-ers. ard Kuhn uncovered this correlationcance of nearly mandatory joint custody. In addition to Levy, advocates for while reviewing published government"If parents can not bargain away fromthe 2-parent family who attended the data. The CRC report was co-authoredjoint custody before they go to court,meeting were by John Guidubaldi, Ed.D., of Johnthere will be no incentive to threatenJohn Guidubaldi, Ed.D., researcher on Carroll and Kent State Universities. children and families; Ronald K. Henry, Washington attor- National Parents' Day Sunday, July 26 ney; The fourth annual National Par- For information and guidelines, Joel Bankes, director of the National ents' Day will be observed Sunday, Julycall NPDC at 202/530-0849, or toll free, Child Support Enforcement; Associa- 26. "This is a day to honor parents and 1-888-359-6616. tion, who ran an access demonstra- to uplift and support them in the valu- "The ABC's of Parent Involve- tion grant program in Arizona; able role they play in the rearing of theirment in Education," a 176 page book, David Arnaudo, who supervises the children," said Belinda Rollins, direc-was published by NPDC in cooperation federal access/visitation grants; tor of the National Parents' Day Coali-with WJLA -TV (Channel 7), Washing- Belinda Rollins, director of the Na- tion (NPDC). ton, D.C., and is available in all 7-11 con- tional Parents' Day Coalition; NPDC was the catalyst behind the venience stores in the Washington, D.C. CRC legislative assistant/intern Congressional resolution that designatedarea. To obtain a copy, send $3 which Karoline Hay also attended. the fourth Sunday in July each year asincludes shipping and handling, to Attendees made several sugges- National Parents Day. To observe Na-NPDC, 1025 Connecticut Avenue tions to strengthen the 2-parent family, tional Parents' Day, people are encour-N.W., Suite 615, Washington, D.C. with a special focus on helping the an- aged to have activities and events in their20036. CRC is mentioned in the book nual 1 million children of divorce. A communities. as a national parenting organization. subsequent White House meeting is planned. Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 7 Sills in Congress The bills described below have been introduced in the current session of Congress. H.R. refers to the House of Representatives, S. refers to the Senate. The phone number of the committee handling the bill is provided below; you may call to check on the status of legislation, or express your views. It is even more important to let your own Representative and Senator know your views. The capital switchboard, which can connect you with the offices of all members of Congress and committees, is (202) CA4-3121 (224-3121). This is a 24-hour switchboard that can provide you night and day with names, addresses, and direct phone numbers of all members of Congress. During normal weekday business hours, the switchboard can connect you with any Congressional office on Capitol Hill. To save on expenses, you can contact the Congressmembers' local branch office in your district. BETTER YET, WRITE A LETTER AS DESCRIBED BELOW.

H.R.2925,formerly H.R. 2503, the "Deadbeat Par- S. 1075,introduced by Sen. Christopher Dodd (D- ents Punishment Act of 1997", introduced by Rep. StenyC1), to provide demonstration projects to establish minimum Hoyer (D-MD) and Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL) to provide afinancial child support payments. Referred to Finance Com- felony violation for an unpaid child support obligation "to amittee (202) 224-4515. Urge your House member or Sena- child who resides in another state." The felony appears totor to offer a "balancing amendment" to establish minimum apply even if the custodial parent is the one who makes the access/visitation/parenting time of at least a third of the time move with the child to another state, and kicks in if the obli-on a year-round basis, because the Census Bureau says that gation is more than $5,000 owed for more than 1 year, orparents with at least a of the third of the time (joint physical more than $10,000 owed for more than 2 years. custody) with their children pay up to twice as much in finan- The bill has passed the House Judiciary Committee,cial child support as parents with no access to their children. and is awaiting a vote on the House floor. The Senate has H.R.869,introduced by Rep. Christopher Cox (D- already passed a similar bill, sponsored by Sen. Herbert KohlCA), to require a parent who is delinquent in financial child (D-WI), so the only opportunity to offer a "balancing amend-support to include his unpaid obligation in gross income and ment" would be on the House floor. The balancing amend-to allow custodial parents a bad debt deduction for unpaid ment would be to provide similar penalties for failure to honorfinancial child support payments. Referred to Human Re- court-ordered visitation. We also ask that the felony applysources Subcommittee of House Ways and Means, phone only if the non-custodial parent is the parent to cross state(202) 244-4615. Urge your House member or Senator to offer lines with the intent to avoid child support obligations. a "balancing amendment" to include unpaid visitation pen- S. 97,introduced by Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), to alty in gross income and to allow non-custodial parents a bad amend the Internal Revenue Code to require the IRS to col-debt collection for unpaid visitation fines or penalties. lect financial child support through wage withholding and to H.R.399,introduced by Rep. Michael Bilirakis (R- eliminate State enforcement of financial child support obli-FL) to prohibit the provision of financial assistance by the gations other than medical support obligations. Referred toFederal Government to any person who is more than 60 days the Senate Finance Committee, (202) 224-4515. Similar todelinquent in the payment of any financial child support ob- H.R. 2189, introduced by Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL), referredligation. A hearing was held on this bill in November, 1997, to Human Resources Subcommittee of House Ways andby the Committee on Government Reform and Oversight Means (202) 224-4515. Urge your House member or Sena-(202) 225-5074. Write your House member or Senator rector to offer a "balancing amendment" to provide IRS enforce-ommending "balancing" this bill with a provision prohibiting ment of any financial penalties for access denial that any statethe same assistance to anyone 60 days delinquent in honor- may impose, such as fines or court costs for missed access,ing a court's access/visitation order. for the same reason as stated in the note to H.R. 2503 above. Amicus Briefs Write to Congress! If your case is on appeal, and you would like CRC to Write to House members at: consider writing an amicus curaie (Friend of the Court) Representative brief, contact CRC. CRC can not handle cases at the (name of your Representative) trial level, and we do not write the main appeal brief. House of Representatives An amicus brief is a supplemental brief, telling the court Washington, D.C. 20515 why this case is of significance not only to the parties in Write to Senators at: the case, but to other children and families as well. We Senator (name of your Senator) generally need 30 to 60 days before the filing deadline. U.S. Senate The writing of CRC amicus briefs is supervised by CRC Washington, D.C. 20510 General Counsel Michael L. Oddenino.

Page 8 Speak Out For Children Spring 1998 Congress Considers $2 Billion for Fatherhood

An historic bill introduced in Con- substantial number of fathers, divorced gress would provide $2 billion over the as well as unmarried, have incomes next five years to enhance fatherhood above poverty, yet are below 50 percent in the United States. of the average income in their state. Called the "Fathers Count Act of The funds would be spread over 1998," the bill would provide grants to five years, as follows: states "to encourage fathers to become $200 million for the first year, better parents. Archer Shaw $300 million the second year, $400 mil- The primary sponsor of the Billing proposal," Archer said "The focuslion the third year, $500 million the is Clay Shaw (R-FL), whose Human(of this bill) will be on private efforts,fourth year, and $500 million for the Resources Subcommittee of the Houseincluding those by religious and chari-fifth year. Ways and Means Committee has heardtable groups. Uniting loving fathers with Co-sponsors are David Camp (R- increasing testimony over the past sev-their families may turn out to be the bestMI), Phil English (R-PA),J.D. Hayworth eral years about the need to encouragechild care program of all...TO pay for(R-AZ), and Wes Watkins (R-OK). fatherhood, as a way to help childrenthis program, I propose a cap on the at- Wade Horn, director of the Na- and families. torney fees in the national tobacco settle-tional Fatherhood Initiative, was a cata- The bill, H.R. 3314, also has thement. The amount of money the triallyst behind the bill, which originally pro- enthusiastic support of Bill Archer (R-lawyers are seeking is obscene, and I sayvided $1 billion. Family advocate and TX), chairman of the House Ways andthat as an attorney. We shouldn't makeWashington, D.C. lawyer Ronald' K. Means Committee, which is the parentlawyers richer; we should make childrenHenry and other advocates met with committee to Shaw's subcommittee. stronger." Ron Haskins, majority staff director of In a statement January 20, 1998, If the bill becomes law, the statesthe subcommittee, and urged an even announcing what he called this "excit-would use the $2 billion for projectshigher commitment. Chairman Shaw which: responded by increasing the size of the IT LOOKS LIKE ANY A) encourage unmarried or pro-bill to $2 billion. spective fathers to get married, and en- The $2 billion would come from OTHER CREDIT CARD TO courage better parenting by fathers whothe tobacco settlement (if there is one), YOU, BUT ITS A DONA- are living with 1 or more of their chil-increased tax revenue to the Treasury, dren; or or other sources. TION FOR CRC EVERY TIME B) include activities that help fa- Shaw's subcommittee initially YOU USE IT! thers obtain gainful employment, or helphandled consideration of the Welfare INTRODUCING THE CRC GOLD fathers increase their skills in order toReform bill which became law in 1996, qualify for higher paying jobs. which provides a billion dollars in in- CARD and PREFERRED CARD States could also use the funds tocentive payments to the states which do FROM MBNA support projects which emphasize ways the best job in accomplishing the goals for fathers who do not live with 1 orof welfare reform, part of which is to MEM. more of their children to become betterencourage family formation and family Chillve6Ric-k+5 C640k-ii- J *." parents. preservation, that is, marriage, and the 80 percent of the grant fundsstrengthening of the family. would have to be used to provide ser- The Welfare Reform bill also con- 480I1 1E34 5678 vices for fathers whose income is in thetains the $10 million a year in access/ ittsitigai 130/VO/Q0 00/00/00 Pit bottom 50% in their states. visitation grants for all 50 states to share .0BARD COLE V1 S-4 Although the main emphasis ofin. the bill is to assist unmarried fathers, it Hearings have not yet been set for Every time you use your CRC VISA is not merely a poverty bill. That is, athe "Fathers Count Act of 1998". card, CRC will receive a contribution at no additional charge to you! Apply today and help CRC!If you're going to Advertise in CRC's Newsletter: 5,000 circulated carry a card, why not carry a CRC card? with a Nationwide readership of 25,0001 Quarter page $150 Half page $275 Fullpage $500 For information contact Andrew Ross-301/320-5960 Call or Fax CRC for information. or Lawrence Peckmazian-703/920-1451 Phone: (202) 547-6227 Fax: (202) 546-4272 Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 9 10 11th National CRC Conference Draws Officials,Researchers We continue with news from CRC's 11th national conference, held October 23-26, 1997, at the Quality Hotel, Arlington, Virginia.

Comprehensive Analysis Suggests Studies that reported only qualitative descriptions of Children Better Adjusted in Joint than different groups, or that reported only on the adjustment of a Sole Custody sole custody or a joint custody group, were therefore excluded. by Robert Bauserman, Ph.D. Similarly, studies that included both sole and joint cus- Instructor, University of Michigan tody children, and some measure of adjustment, were ex- Joint custody has increased in popularity as an optioncluded if they did not report statistics (e.g., t-tests, correla- in divorce since the 1970's. An ongoingtions) that were suitable for calculating effect sizes. debate between proponents and opponents of joint child custody has contin-Location of studies ued since this time as well. Studies were located through electronic databases such Arguments in favor of joint custody as PsycInfo and Dissertation Abstracts, and from refer- have included claims about the benefits ence lists of relevant studies. Search terms such as "joint of maintaining relationships with both custody" or "custody" and "adjustment" were used in parents; opponents have argued that joint searching electronic databases. Bowerman custody disrupts needed stability in aCoding of studies child's life and can lead to harm by exposing children to on- Studies were coded for specific statistical tests compar- going parental conflict. ing adjustment in the joint custody and sole custody During this time, an increasing body of research evi- groups. Studies were also coded for additional quali- dence on the adjustment of children in both types of custody ties such as date; sex of first author; published vs. un- settings has developed. Traditional literature reviews attempt published status; proportion of boys in sample; pro- to organize and make sense of a literature by reporting on portion of mothers vs. fathers with custody in sole cus- the findings of a number of relevant studies, noting signifi- tody groups; age of children in sample at parental sepa- cant and nonsignificant findings, and forming holistic impres- ration; current age; and type of adjustment measure used sions of the literature reviewed. (emotional, behavioral, etc.) However, such reviews are subject to a number of re-Analysis viewer biases, including selective citation of studies; report- Data analysis was carried out via the DSTAT program, ing of results consistent with the reviewer's perspective,com- published by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates (B. bined with minimization or nonreporting of inconsistentre- Johnson, 1989). When more than one effect size sults; and focus on statistical significance, rather than the was obtained from a single study (e.g. results were re- magnitude of a relationship between variables. ported separately for measures of both emotional and A comprehensive analysis (called meta-analysis byre- social adjustment), effect sizes were averaged to obtain searchers), reviews attempts to integrate research literature in a single effect size for that study. a more systematic and quantitative fashion. Results In a well-conducted meta-analysis, reviewers conducta A total of 21 studies, 8 published and 13 unpublished, systematic search for relevant literature and inform readerswere included in the meta-analysis (all unpublished studies of the procedure followed; carefully specify criteria for inclu-were doctoral dissertations). These studies dated from 1982 sion of studies; systematically integrate results of statisticalto 1994. tests performed by all researchers to identify over-all effects;Adjustment in joint vs. sole custody and code important variables within studies that may moder- Across all 21 studies, joint custody children scored ate the relationship being examined. higher on adjustment measures than sole custody chil- The goal of the present study, of which these findings dren, d - .3832, 95% C.I. .28 to .49, r = .1882, p < are a preliminary report, is to locate and integrate reports of .00001. A test of homogeneity indicated that the effect tests of adjustment that directly compare children in joint sizes were homogeneous, Q(20) = 17.17, p = .64, mean- custody and in sole custody settings following divorce. ing that the effect sizes were consistent across studies. Method Moderators To be included in the current review, a study had to Tests of the various study qualities were conducted to have both a group of children living in joint custody arrange- determine if specific qualities of studies or of samples ments and a group of children in sole custody arrangements, related to obtained effects sizes. None proved signifi- and had to statistically report the outcome of some test com- cant. paring the two groups on some dimension of adjustment (e.g., social, emotional, etc.). Continued on page 17 Page 10 Speak Out For Children Spring 1998 Children's Rights Council'sllth National Conference Strengthening FamiliesBuilding Communities October 23-26, 1997Washington, DC CR-9701 Tips On How To Be Effective On Capital Hill CR-9711The Positive Effect of Father Presence on CRC Staff Children's Educational DevelopmentChristine CR-9702Release Of New CRC report on "The Positive Nord of Westat, Inc. and Nicholas Zill, Ph.D.. Effects On Joint CustodyDavid L. Levy, Presi- Moderator: Jim Cook, President, Joint Custody dent CRC Association CR-9703What Organizations and Foundations Are Doing CR-9713Custody Litigation: How to Keep Your Children To Strengthen FamiliesNational Child Sup- Out fo the Middle of Custody BattlesGerald port Enforcement Assn. Solomon, Esq. CR-9705Differentiation Between the Parent Alienation CR-9714Deciding What's Best For the ChildrenJayne Syndrome and Bona-Fide AbuseRichard Major, Parenting Ed., and Barbara Wagner, Gradner, M.D., Author Custody Evaluator CR-9706Capitol Hill Developments Affecting Children and CR-9715 How to Have a Win-Win Situation in CourtSev- Families: Welfare Reform, Kinship Care as an eral Judges, Moderator: Michael Oddenino, Alternative to Foster Care, and Access/Visita- Esq., CRC Counsel tionRon Haskins, Staff Director, Human Re- CR-9716The Rediscovery of Parenting in America: Teresa sources Subcommittee of Ways and Means, and Kaiser, Esq., Dir of MO Child Support Office Other Congressional Staff and Access/Visitation Implementation CR-970710 Tips on How to Build a Stronger, Bigger, More CR-9717Guilt and Shame: The Difference for Parents Financially Secure CRC ChapterBill & Lynn Nancy Heleno Obetz. How Joint Custody Re- Huerter, CRC Nebraska duces the Divorce RateJohn Guidabaldi, Ed.D. CR-9708The Economic Impact of Divorce On Fathers and CR-9718Canadian Efforts for Balances of Children and MothersSanford Braver, Ph.D., Researcher FamiliesAnne Cools, Canadian Senator CR-9709What's Next in Parenting EducationElizabeth CR-9719National Trends in Family Law Legislation and Hickey, Dir. Mediation and Divorce Center in How to Affect ThemRon Henry, Esq., Wash- Utah ington, DC CR-9710The New Access/Visitation Grants for All 50 States CR-9720Healthy Things You Can Do for Your Children to Share In. How Many Grants Have Been and YourselfGary Santora, Washington, DC Awarded? What Can Groups Do Now? Grant Application SuggestionsDavid Gray Ross, Di- rector of the Federal Child Support Office

PRICING: MC, VISA, AMEX Single Cassettes $ 10.00 Full Set (18 Cassettes) $140.00 (SAVE $40.00) exp. date S & H (mail orders) $5.00(1 5 tapes) S & H (mail orders) $ 10.00(6 - 20 tapes) Send to: CRC Books For International or Overnight orders call for special pricing, 300 "I" Street N.E. NO C.O.D.'s Suite 401 Single Cauette(s) $10/ea. = $ Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Full Set(s) $160/ea = $ TOTAL = $ Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Shipping & Handling = $ Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 All Payments Must Be Made With U.S. Currency or U.S. Bank Funds.

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w 7q. 112 QUICK SALE BOOKS BIG DISCOUNTS FOR ORDERS BY LABORDAY, OR UNTIL LIMITED SUPPLY RUNS OUT Your Title Regular Price Discount Price

The Custody Revolution, by Richard Warshak. 1992. (HB-702) TheFather Factor and the Motherhood Mystique. $21.00 $15.00 Man Enough, by Frank Pittman, 1993. (HB-239) Explores the changing relationships between fathers and sons, and mothers and sons. 23.95 11.00 The Kids Book of Divorce, by Eric Roles, 1987. (SB -1 16) Unlessyou have experienced divorce first-hand, the pain and suffering a child endures cannot be fully understood. 10.95 5.00 Questions from Dad, by Dwight Twilley, 1994. (HB-240) An effectiveway to develop better relationships between children and their parents. 15.00 7.00 Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. (HB-22)Based on ten year longitudinal study of the effects of divorce on adults and children. 17.95 8.00 Divorced Women, New Lives, by Ellie Wymard, 1990. (SB-241)Moving personal stories and insights about women who have been been divorced. 4.95 Extra Low Price 2.00 How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Advice to Kids, by GayleKimball, 1994. (SB -1 12) Easy-to-read one-of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents as they reshape their lives post-divorce. 9.95 4.00 For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Kline and Stephen Pew,1992. (HB-216) Discusses how to share your children with your ex-spouse despiteyour anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. 18.75 9.00 Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. (HB-204) Warmlysupportive and reassuring, this comprehensive guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. 18.95 9.00 At My Father's Wedding: Reclaimingour True Masculinity, by John Lee, 1991. (HB-242) A ground-breaking work about the Father Wound and the paina child can bear because of it. 10.00 Extra Low Price 2.00 Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. (SB-2012) Helpschildren recognize that it is appropriate to have negative feelings about divorce and toexpress those feelings. 4.95 2.00 The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie Engel, 1992. (SB-2006)Planning and action guide with 55 formulas to help you in four key decision areas:financial, legal, practical, and emotional. 15.00 7.00 The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell, 1993. (SB-245) Rock solidand authentic decimation of the myth of male advantage ...sweeps aside stereotyped assumptionsto uncover a deeper truth. 13.00 6.00 Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, 1986. (SB-243)Provides insights into loved one's secret insights and desires. 5.99 3.00 The Liberated Man, by Warren Farrell, 1993. (SB-244) Reveals whatevery woman needs to know about men and what every man needs to know about himself. 5.99 3.00 Protocols for Sex Abuse Evaluations, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. (HB-1007) Presents a new series of criteria and interviewsequences to help examiners involved in sex abuse evaluations. 40.00 30.00 Discipline That Works, by Thomas Gordon, 1995. (SB-117) Dr. Gordon,founder of P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) shows ways toempower children to become self-reliant. 10.95 4.00 Parent vs. Parent, by Stephen Herman, 1990. (HB-209) Practical informationon how to avoid "winning" and "losing" by protecting everyone's best interests. 20.95 9.00 The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook, by Mary Hirschfeld,1992 (SB-2009) Visualization exercises help readers root our destructive feelings leftover from their childhood. 11.95 5.00 The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985(SB-2010) How to facilitate honest and open communication between adults and children at the traumatic time of separation and divorce. 12.95 6.00 Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Resolve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. (SB-246)Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when realized, strengthen families and relationships. 10.00 Extra Low Price 3.00

13 Here are someSPECIAL ADDITIONSto the Children's Rights Council 1998 CATALOG OF RESOURCES for parents and professionals FULL PRICE BOOKS, WITH VALUABLE INFORMATION! The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for mental health and Families, Crisis, and Caring, by Barry T. Brazelton (1989) America's legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D. (1995) An authorita- favorite pediatrician talks about the involved father, parental rivalry, tive work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). grandparenting, the loss of a parent, fathering alone, and other issues. SB-1004 $30.00 HB-219 $18.00 Protocols for Sex Abuse Evaluations, by Richard Gardner, M.D. When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca Hegar (1993) (1995) Presents a new series of criteria and interview sequences to This book captures the experiences of parents searching for their chil- help examiners involvedin sex abuse evaluations. dren and abductors who have taken them; also makes public policy HB-1007 $39.95 recommendations. Children Held Hostage: Dealing with programmed and brain-HB-901 $22.95$ washed children, by Stanley Clawar, Ph.D. and Brynne Rivlin, M.M.S. (1991)Published by the ABAs Section for Family Law, REPORTS this book discusses a 12-year study of programming and brainwashing UPDATED 1997 during custody battles. Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. Not a frequent remedy, SB-1003 $45.00 but one that may be available. Arguments and case citations "The tort, 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co-parents as a charge against one person for invading the rights of another, is and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, and Step-family clearly reasonable as the interference with visitation is just thatone situations. person taking something from another that he has no right to by law. SB-113 $9.95 R116 $10.00 The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D. (1994). AnChallenging the Washington, D.C. Child Support Guide- outstanding book with a powerful message: lines while divorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where Willing challenge filed by CRC and the Greater Washington Area parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. Chapter of the National Women's Bar Association attacking the sub- HB-2001 $23.00 stance and procedure for the adoption of the D.C. guidelines. My Mom and Dad are Getting a Divorce, by Florence Bienenfeld, LB-104 $10.00 Ph.D. (1984) Cartoon style, story form focuses on children ages 4- 12. Helps them through the feelings of sadness, loss, hurt, anger, guilt, SPECIAL STEPFAMILY BOOKS AVAILABLE helplessness and fear triggered by a divorce. How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. and John SB-2004 $3.95 Visher, M.D. (1982) The co-founders of the Stepfamily Association Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong (1996) False of America answer questions and give suggestions on how to make Accusations of Child Abuse: A Roadmap for survivors which helps to stepfamilies work. answer their questions. H13-301 $13.95 SB-2014 $15.95 Putting Kids First, by Michael Oddenino. A must read for caring Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/New Rules, by Claire parents and professionals, by CRC's General Counsel.Includes a Berman (1986). Former president of the Stepfamily Association of children's bill of rights. America provides practical help and insights. SB-248 $9.95 SB-304 $7.95 Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Mala Burt for the Stepfamily NEW!! The Fathers Emergency Guide to Divorce/Cus- Association of America. tody Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Law- SB-303 $9.95 yers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights of Williams Dawes, Esq. (1997). A powerful new book whose title says its all. Help Support CRC! SB-247 $15.00 Buy 25 Bumper Stickers for $20. Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D. (1989) In this update, Gardner Give Them to Your Friends! proposes a three-phase system to remove child custody evaluations from Spread the Message! courtroom litigation. Put a bumper sticker on your car! HB-603 $35.00 The Joint Custody Handbook, by Miriam Cohen (1991). A 1991 update of one of the classic books on joint custody. Contains sample parenting agreements. HB-213 $10.95 ADDITIONAL QUICK SALE BOOKS BIG DISCOUNTS FOR ORDERS BY LABORDAY, OR UNTIL LIMITED SUPPLY RUNS OUT

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Recognizing Child Abuse and Combating Child Abuse, (SB-1006) A comprehensive guide to recognizing, preventing, and handling child abuse and neglect; by a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. (both books by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D.) $16.00 $12.00 Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Divorce (SB-605A) by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992 Learn the fundamental skills of negotiation, (HB) 24.95 20.00 conflict resolution and mediation, for everyone's good. (SB) 13.95 9.00 Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Successful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own research, and that of other experts, and rich in (HB) HB-223B 22.95 18.00 anecdotal information. (SB) SB-223A 13.00 10.00 Fatherless America, Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem, by David Blankenhorn (1995). Why civilized societies need to uphold the idea of fatherhood. HB-236 29.95 24.00 Another Way Home, by John Thorndike, 1996 A burning, beautifulmemoire. (HB) 24.00 10.00 Helping Your Children through Divorce, Florence Bienenfeld, Ph.D., (1995) A resource book depicting the impact of divorceon children. SB-201A 11.95 7.00 Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., (1980) Making shared custody work: How parents can make two homes for their children after divorce. SB-202 10.00 8.00 Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., (1980) A classic that is still valid in discussing the problems of children being raised by single parents. 58-220 14.00 10.00 A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, (1991) A book that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. SB-225 10.00 8.00 Don't Blame Me, Daddy, False Accusations of Child Sexual Abuse, by Dean Tong, (1992) This book provides help in distinguishing between true and false allegations of child sexual abuse. SB-226 11.95 9.00 Loving and Listening, by Melinda Blau (1996) A Parent's Book of Daily Inspirations for Rebuilding the Family After Divorce SB-235 13.00 10.00 Order Form Title MC, VISA, AMEX Title Title exp. date Title Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Total enclosed Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 SHIP ORDER TO: 15 NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP: I. Move Outside the U.S. present wife's previous marriage. How-had already been factored into the child A child's relocation with the cus-ever, the Supreme Court said, thesupport arrangements. todial parent to another country may somother's hostile attitude toward the fa-[Morgan v. Morgan, Term CtApp, No. "profoundly and adversely affect" thether and unwillingness to facilitate the 03A01-9705-CV-00166, 10/30/971 child's best interest as to justify denialchildren's visitation with him supported of the relocation request, the Californiaa finding that it was in the children's best De Facto Custody and Court of Appeals, Second District, saidinterests to be placed in his custody. Child Support March 23. The court also said that the[Russell v. Russell, Wyo. SupCt, No. 97- A father who had custody of his non-custodial parent may, to all intents2, 12/5/971 child 69 percent of the time under a and purposes, be losing his right to "custodial time" arrangement should not maintain an ongoing relationship with Hague Convention on have been ordered to pay support to the the child. The case in question involved International Child child's mother, the New York Supreme a mother who wished to take her two Abduction Court, Appellate Division, Third De- sons back to her native Australia, some Although a mother had wrongfullypartment, held October 30. The father 8,000 miles from their American father.removed two children from the familywas the "de facto" custodial parent, the However, the appeals court did not pro-home in England, and taken them tocourt said, and the mother must pay hibit the move. Instead, it instructed theColorado, the Hague Convention on support to him. trial court to amend the order allowingInternational Child Abduction does not [Simmons v. Hyland, NY SupCt the mother to move with the children,require the return of the children, theAppDiv 3dDept, No. 79125, 10/30/971 so that the order provided for measuresU.S. District Court for the District of to ensure that an Australian court wouldColorado held on November 7. The Child Support and enforce the terms of the California judg-court said that the children were already Evidence of Non- ment, including the visitation. "settled" in their new environment. It Paternity [Condon v. Cooper, Calif CtApp 2dnoted that the convention provided a A man who demonstrated that he Dist. No. B103574, 3/23/981 defense where more than a year hadwas not the father of a child born to his elapsed since the wrongful removal, andwife during their marriage should not Custody of Out-of- the children were "settled." The courthave been ordered to pay child support, Wedlock Child said it was not making a ruling aboutthe Michigan Court of Appeals held An unmarried mother did notwhere it was best for the children to live,October 24. Voluntary assumption of have a superior right to the custody ofbut the convention "has essentially de-the support duty was key in such cases, her child over the biological father, oncecided that, once settled in the new envi-the court said. This had not happened the child was legitimated, the Alabamaronment, to again uproot the children in the case before it, the court said, be- Court of Civil Appeals decided Novem-would be harmful." cause the man was "duped" into believ- ber 7. The court concluded that the[In re Robinson, DC Colo, No. 97-MW-ing that he was the father for about two lower court, after reviewing the conflict-994, 11/7/971 years between the child's birth and the ing evidence presented by the parties, divorce papers being filed. did not abuse its discretion in finding Joint Custody and [Bergan. v. Bergan, Mich CtApp, No. that it was in the son's best interest to `Offsetting' Support 198711, 210.24/97 award custody to the father. A trial court properly refused to W. D. v. E.E.B., Ala CtCivApp.order a woman who shared custody ofThe cases above are summarized from No. 2961074, 11/7/971 the children with the father to pay hisFamily Law Reporter. They appear here child support during the three monthsby permission of the publisher, the Bu- Interference with of the summer when he had primaryreau of National Affairs, Inc. Parenting Time custody, the Tennessee Court of Ap- (Visitation) peals ruled on October 10. The father's FAMILY FACTS A mother's continual interferencesupport obligations was half of that pre- Photocopy and distribute the "Family Facts" with the father's visitation rights consti-scribed by the guideline, because he had on the next page! Use as hand-outs when visit- tutes a material change in circumstancesphysical custody for 44 percent of the ing the Legislature, disseminating information sufficient to support a change of custody, year. Another case in which a motherto the courts or the media, or as a resource for the Wyoming Supreme Court held De-was given child support during a sum-testimony and Letters to the Editor. "Family Facts" is a regular feature of this newsletter. cember 5. The court acknowledged con-mer period when the children were with Send us your verified facts (with actual copies, cern about transferring custody to theher was irrelevant to the case before it, sources and dates) to "Family Facts," CRC. father, because he already lived in athe court said, because in this case the household with four children from histime ,thechildren spent with the father Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 15 I6 Fathers Have Positive Impact on Children's Academic Performance If non-resident fathers are involved in their children's school, children are more likely to get A's, to enjoy school, and to participate in extracurricular activities. Children are also less likely to haveever repeated a grade or been suspended or expelled if their non-resident fathers are involved in their schools. These are the conclusions of a report by Christine Winquist Nord, Ph.D., and Nicholas Zill, Ph.D., of Westat, presented at the Children's Rights Council's 11th national conference, October, 1997. The report used data from the 1996 National Household Education Survey (NHES:967). Thesec- tion Nord and Zill reported at CRC focused on nearly 5,500 children living apart from their fathers.

From Nonresident Fathers' hivolvernent in Their Children's Schools, available from Westat, 1650 Research Blvd., Rockville, MD 20850, or from CRC, 300 I Street NE., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002

Children Benefit Even When Parents Don't "Choose" Joint Custody A new study answers critics of joint custody who claim that the benefits of joint custody are only valid for families where parents "choose" joint custody. A survey of 13,000 families in two waves, 1987-1988 and 1992-1994, clearly indicates positive effects for joint legal custody. "My findings show that neither conflict nor marital happiness before separation affect the likelihood that parents will acquire joint legal custody at divorce," states Seltzer. The fact that children benefited from joint legal custody even after taking account of the quality of family relationships and economic resources before separation provides further evidence that these positive effects are not simply the result of more cooperative parents choosing joint custody. Seltzer concludes that children's advocates may seem to be right about joint legal custody. "At least on the dimensions of increased contact between nonresident fathers and children, joint legal custody may, as advocates claim, make the lives of children after divorce more similar to their lives before divorce or to the lives of their peers in two-parent households."

Report available through the Internet at http://ssc.wisc.edu/cde/nsfhwp/home.htm,or Center for De- mography and Ecology, University of Wisconsin-Madison, 4412 Social Science Bldg, 1180 Observa- toiy Drive, Madison, WI 53706-1393.

Risks in Single-Parent Homes Living in a single-parent home appears particularly risky for sons. The authors of this study report that "male children from one-parent families were found to have more illnesses than female children... Furthermore, for both sons and daughters, living with an unmarried mother oftenmeans poorer mental health." Source: Gong-Soong Hung and Shelly I. White-Means, "Do Working Mothers Have Healthy Chil- dren?" Journal of Family and Economic Issues /4 (1993): 163-181.

From Volume 13, Number 1, Spring 1998, Speak Out for Children, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 phone [202] 547-6227 1 1 7 More 11th National CRC Conference Highlights Continued from patine 10

Published vs. unpublished studies relationship between custody andsive or neglectful, a sole custody situa- Effect sizes across published stud- adjustment, Z = .061, p = .95. tion may be the best solution. Never- ies did not differ significantly from Discussion theless, the current findings offer sup- those obtained from unpublished The results strongly indicate thatport for the national trend toward in- studies, QB(1) = .466, p = .495. children in joint custody are better ad-creases in joint custody awards and le- Female vs. male first authors justed, across multiple types of mea-gal presumption of joint custody, as serv- Sex of first author for each studysures, than children in sole custody set-ing the interests of children. did not relate to effect sizes, QB(1) tings. Furthermore, this relationship is Extensive further research needs - 1.724, p = .189. not significantly affected by several im-to be done. Additional studies need to Age of parental separation portant characteristics of the sample orbe incorporated into the meta-analysis, Age at parental separation did notof the study, such as age of children atmore study qualities examined, and moderate the relationship be-time of study or published vs. unpub-measures of adjustment in specific ar- tween custody and adjustment, Zlished status. eas (e.g. family relations, emotional ad- = .1776, p = .86. The results do not mean that jointjustment) separately examined as well. Current age of child/adolescent custody is preferable in all situations. ForThus, the findings reported here should Current age did not moderate theinstance, when one parent is clearly abu-be regarded as preliminary. Studies includedin the above meta-analysis 1. Bowman, Madonna E. (1983). Parenting after divorce; A8. Hendrickson, Kay (1991). Child custody in divorce: A comparative study of mother custody and joint cus- comparison of sole and shared custody arrangements tody families. Doctoral dissertation, University of Wis- and inter-parental support/conflict levels.United consin-Madison. States International University, San Diego. 2. Buchanan, C., Maccoby, E., & Dornbush, S. (1991). Caught9. Isaacs, Marla B. et al (1987). When is a parent out of the between parents: Adolescents' experiences in di- picture? Different custody, different perceptions. vorced homes. Child Development, 62, 1008-1029. Family Process, 25 102-110. 3. Cowan, Diana B. (1982). Mother custody versus joint cus- 10. Karp. Eleanor Beth (1982). Children's adjustment in tody: Children's parental relationships and adjustment. joint and single custody: An empirical study. Doc- Doctoral dissertation, University of Washington. toral dissertation, California School of Professional Psy- 4. Crosbie-Burnet, Margaret (1991). Impact of joint versus chology, Berkeley. sole custody and quality of co-parental relationship 11.Kaufmann, Karen (1984). Custody arrangement and on adjustment of adolescents in remarried families. children's adjustment after parents' separation. Doc- Behavioral Sciences and the Law, 9, 439-449. toral dissertation, Yeshiva University, New York. 5. Donnelly, Denise, & Finkelhor, David (1992). Does equal- 12. Lakin, Michael J. (1994) Domestic migrations: Effects ity in custody arrangement improve the parent-child on youngsters of postdivorce joint physical custody relationship? Journal of Marriage and the Family, 54 circumstances.Doctoral dissertation, University of 837-845. Michigan. 6. Glover, Rebecca J., & Steele, Connie (1989). Comparing13. Lerman, Isabel A. (1989). Adjustment of latency age the effects on the child of post-divorce parenting ar- children in joint and single custody arrangements. rangements. Journal of Divorce, 12 (2/3), 185-201. Doctoral dissertation, California School of Professional 7. Granite, Betsy H. (1985). An investigation of the rela- Psychology. tionship among self-concept, parental behaviors, and14. Livingston, Judith Ann (1984). Children after divorce: the adjustment of children in different custodial liv- A psychosocial analysis of the effects of custody on ing arrangements following a marital separation and/ self-esteem. Doctoral dissertation, .University of Ver- or divorce. Doctoral dissertation, University of Penn- mont. sylvania. 15. Luepnitz, Deborah A. (1982). Child custody: A study of families after divorce, Lexington, MA. Lexington Books. 16. Mann, David J. (1984). Children's adjustment to di- Super Blue Green Algae vorce as related to sole and joint custody. Doctoral Increase Your Energy Level! For free information, call dissertation, United States International University 1-800-659-8055 ext.11101 ( 9 Continued on page 21 Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 17 Around the Country Targeting of Deadbeat sioner Clarence H. Carter; Robert C.D.C. Sponsored by the National Father- Parents Misfires Metcalf, former secretary of health andhood Initiative, the Summit will feature Virginia state officials are serioushuman resources; and others. speeches in the morning from national about tracking down child-support dodg- Young said child support officials leaders in various sectors, including edu- ers, but in their zeal, they targeted some have properly resolved the matter for the cation, labor, policy, and sports. The innocent parents, too. other parents erroneously targeted as so-afternoon will consist of workshops to When the state notified 39,700called deadbeats. Wright was the onlydevelop individual sector plans. About parents in June, 1997, that they wouldparent to have false information for-300 people representing various na- lose their hunting and fishing licenses ifwarded to a credit agency, he said. tional organizations have been invited they didn't make support payments, the Wright has received letters fromto the events. Co-conveners include the list inadvertently included about 2,300three major credit bureaus, the Virginiabi-partisan Congressional, Senate, and people who owed no money or who hadDepartment of Taxation, and the De-Gubernatorial Task Force on Father- already begun making payments. partment of Game and Inland Fisher-hood Promotion, and other national Ronald E. Wright, whose legalies confirming that his record has beenorganizations. For information, call NFI obligation to pay child support endedcleared. at 301/948-0599. in June, 1996, was among the parents But he questions how efficient the who received such a letter. The state alsostate's effort to catch severely delinquent New York Family informed at least one major credit bu-payers can be if taxpayer dollars are be- Conference June 6 reau that Wright was $2,444 behind ining wasted. After Divorce: Fathers, Mothers, payments. Young disagreed. "We have aChildren and the LawWhere Are We "It was an incredible blunder,"pretty good track record on credibility,"Going, is the subject of a one-day con- said Wright, who lives in Columbia, S.C.he said. "We're talking 94 percent to 97 ference scheduled for Saturday, June 6, and had paid $200 a month for 16 years.percent accuracy. In most schools I went1998 at the Mt. Sinai College of Medi- "To have faithfully paid my child sup-to, that was an A." cine, 101st Street and Madison Avenue, port for all that time, I was livid." However, tracking down parentsin New York City. The sponsor of the A Fairfax, Virginia, court hadwho refuse to consistently pay supportconference is the On Step Institute for closed his support case when his daugh-for more than 541,000 Virginia childrenMental Health Research, 169 East 74th ter, Rebecca, now 19, had turned 18 andis a challenge, Young conceded. St., New York, which is headed by Dr. graduated from high school. (adapted from the Richmond Times- Ed Stephens, an advocate for better ways "I never had any problems," said Dispatch, Jan. 27, 1998) to handle family re-organization after Robyn Stallman, Wright's former wife divorce. To register, phone conference who lives in Fairfax. "He sends her Summit on Fatherhood manager Vivian Mendelsohn, 212 -865- money now toward her tuition for com- in D.C. June 15 4326. Registration is $100 students munity college." The 2nd national summit on Fa-$50. Speakers will include David L. To try to clear his name, Wrighttherhood, "Moving from Rhetoric toLevy,Karen DeCrow, Andrew wrote letters to Nick Young, assistantAction" will be held June 15, 1998 atSchepard, Robert Fay, A. Jayne Major, commissioner for child support enforce-theJ.W. Marriott Hotel, 14th and Penn-and New York State Assemblyman ment; state Social Services Commis-sylvania Avenues N.W., Washington,David Sidikman. eRe Rowtaacedl Several years ago, Cindy and Noted custody evaluator Bar- Michael Ewing met at a CRC confer-bara Wagner, Ph.D. met Murray ence and subsequently got married.Steinberg, mediator and Richmond, Now we hear of other love-birds whoVA, CRC chapter head at a confer- met at CRC conferences! Long-timeence, and the two are to be married CRC national office secretary Lynnin the Fall of 1998. Barbara plans Lynn andJoseph Murray and Barbara Nesbitt met her future husband Josephto move her practice from Califor- Ephraim at a conference, and last year, the two got married.nia to Richmond. The West Coast's loss will be the East Lynn is now Lynn Ephraim. Coast's gain! Aftiodet else?

Page 18 Speak Out For Children Spring 1998 19 Anderson receives including the Washington Post, the Or contact CRC, and we can sug- award Washington Times, as well as interviewsgest an accountant or tax advisor to as- In April, 1998, CRC presented anon radio stations such as WPRN insist you.. award (an engravedDetroit, Michigan, and KCRW in Los plaque) to Frank E.Angeles Donors are Appreciated Anderson, CRC Mas- CRC thanks everyone who con- sachusetts coordina- Intellectual Property tributes to CRC in the charity drive that tor, who is former in- Protection takes place in all federal government ternational president Charlie Ruggiero, who obtainedoffices every Fall. CRC is listed as num- of Parents Withouttrademark protection for the name andber 1513 in the Children's Charities of Partners, Inc. Frank, logo "Children's Rights Council" and the America listing, which is part of the In- who is largely confined to bed becausename and logo for our newsletter "Speakdependent Charities of America. We of illness, and can move about only withOut for Children" is a specialist in trade-also thank those who contribute to CRC the aid of a wheel chair, arranged, in pastmark, patent, copyright, and licensingin the Washington, D.C., and San Fran- years, meetings with federal officials atlaw. He is a partner in the law firm ofcisco (Bay Area) United Way cam- which he and CRC officers discussedOhlandt, Greeley, Ruggiero and Perle,paigns. ways to help children and parents. He1 Landmark Square, Suite 903, Stam- We also thank those who contrib- was also a catalyst behind PWP decid-ford, CT 06901, telephone (203) 327-ute to CRC through their United Way ing to affiliate with CRC. "Anderson's6067. in some other part of the country, where vision, leadership and political savvy has we are not listed, but where employers helped many children and families," said Beat the Tax Man: may sometimes allow employees to des- CRC President David L. Levy. Contribute to CRC ignate CRC. If you wish to consider leaving a CRC depends on volunteer help Media Notes bequest or property to CRC, please letand contributions for its existence. CRC receives phone calls from theCRC know of your generosity. If you wish to make your tax-de- media on a regular basis. This has re- Contact your accountant or taxductible contribution directly to CRC, sulted in recent mention of CRC andadvisor on the best way to structure anysend it to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., our views in numerous media outlets,such bequest. Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002. New Study Continued from page I no impact on the prospects of parentsmatter of how fathers will be involved." Seltzer used data from the Na-obtaining joint legal custody at divorce. Seltzer concludes that children's tional Survey of Families and House-She says, "My findings show that neitheradvocates may seem to be right about holds (NSFH), a survey of more thanconflict nor marital happiness beforejoint legal custody. "At least on the di- 13,000 families that collected data in twoseparation affect the likelihood that par-mensions of increased contact between waves, 1987-1988 and 1992-1994. Be-ents will acquire joint legal custody atnonresident fathers and children, joint cause the NSFH included data on thedivorce." legal custody may, as advocates claim, quality of family relationships, it was The fact that children benefittedmake the lives of children after divorce possible to study the effects of joint le-from joint legal custody even after tak-more similar to their lives before divorce gal custody while controlling for pre-ing account of the quality of family rela-or to the lives of their peers in two-par- separation family relationships. tionships and economic resources be-ent households." Seltzer identified data on familiesfore separation provides further evi- Seltzer's report is entitled "Fa- that had separated or divorced betweendence that the positive effects are notthers' by Law: Effects of Joint Legal the first and second survey periods. simply the result of more cooperativeCustody on Nonresident Fathers In- Says Seltzer: "Controlling for theparents choosing joint custody. volvement with Children." quality of family relationships before Seltzer proposed a "role oriented" The report can be obtained separation and socioeconomic status, fa-explanation for a reduction in visitationthroughtheinternetathttp:// thers with joint legal custody see their interference with joint legal custody. Shessc.wisc.edu/cde/nsfhwp/home.htm, or children more frequently, have more says that "By clarifying that divorced fa-from the Center for Demography and overnight visits, and pay more child sup- thers are 'by law' still fathers, parents'Ecology, University of Wisconsin/Madi- port than fathers in families in which the negotiations about fathers' participationson, 4412 Social Science Bldg, 1180 mothers have sole legal custody. in child rearing after divorce may shiftObservatory Drive, Madison, WI Remarkably, Seltzer found that thefrom trying to resolve whether fathers53706-1393. level of conflict before separation hadwill be involved in child rearing to the Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 19 t7 20 Several family oriented bills have been enacted into law 4) Changing the term "visitation" to "parenting time" in New Jersey. All the references are to New Jersey Statutesin all sections of New Jersey statutes where the word "visita- Annotated. tion" now appears (that term appears primarily in Titles 2A The new laws: and 9). 1) Provide divorced parents access to children's medi- 5) Requires notification to the parent paying alimony cal, dental, insurance, child care, and educational records,of the re-marriage by the ex-spouse receiving alimony. Sec. Sec. 9:2-4.2. 2A:34-25. 2) Provide sanctions for judges to award counsel fees, 6) Amends equitable distribution statute to clarify that community service, or compensatory time for the time missedthe court must consider both parents' responsibilities for the with the child, monetary compensation for costs includedchildren. Sec. 2A:34-23. when a parent fails to appear for scheduled visitation and 7) Adds new factor to equitable distribution statuecon- other economic sanctions on a case by case basis, Sec. 2A:34- cerning the extent to which a parent deferred achieving their 23.3. career goals. Sec. 2A:34-23.1. 3) Provides upon the filing of the separation complaint, The NewJersey Council for Children's Rights (NJCCR), where custody or visitation or support of a minor child isana chapter of CRC, headed by Dominick Romano, played a issue, the party who has maintained all or a share of insur-key role in passage of a substantial amount of the above leg- ance coverage, shall continue to maintain such coverage orislation. Sara Flohr and Anju Jesani play key roles in NJCCR. share thereof, Sec. 2A:34-23d. "Judge Judy" Inspires D.C. Chapter dren, and if the concept is that the bestporary and long term, for the raising of parent is both parents, maybe there havetheir children. "Judge Judy," in her court TVto be more Judge Judy's in our judiciary Any judge can use the program show April 13, 1998, talked about chil-system. Whether the non-custodial par-now in the state, but is not required to. dren who were being alienated and vic-ent is the mother or the father, Judge The legislature will decide in 1999 timized against the non-custodial parentJudy's advice is sound. whether to extend this program to the during divorce and separation. Judge "In Washington," said Banner,entire state. Judy listened as a father, a guest on the"our CRC chapter is working with fami- David Courson, CRC's Tennessee show who has 2 children, explained thatlies and the courts for positive change.coordinator, led an effort by CRC of he wasn't getting his court-ordered visi-We understand that a journey of a thou-Tennessee, which was joined by other tation. The custodial mother, who wassand miles begins with a single step." groups, including Dads Against Dis- also on the show, said the children did Judge Judy is shown in 38 statescrimination, I Love My Children, Too, not want to see their father and sheon Fox TV. To ask if your case can ap-that worked for passage of the act. would not make them. pear on the show, contact Judge Judy, State Rep. Robert Patton was the As the story unfolded, Judy toldBox 949, Hollywood, CA. 90078,chief legislative sponsor of the new law. the children's mother that she did littlephone 1-888-800-5839. or nothing to encourage visitation, and Help Us Help You! that the children wanted a relationship Parent Ed Seminars CRC needs equipment: with the father, but were afraid to seek a Working in Tennessee * computers positive relationship with him after all Judges in six Tennessee judicial *typewriters of the negative things that were saiddistricts, including Nashville, Memphis, *photocopy machines about him in her home. Chattanooga, and Knoxville, reported *other office equipment Judge Judy also said sometimes CRC needs volunteers to: positive results in implementation of the *do filing children hold back from saying or want-1996 Tennessee Family Preservation *6e Newsletter editor ing to see the non-custodial parent forAct. *layout Newsletter fear of being punished by the custodial The judges reported in February, *answer the phone parent. 1998, to a legislative committee in Nash- *work with celebrities "Judge Judy was right on theville on the Act, passed by the legisla- *work on the internet money," said D.C. chapter coordinatorture, which require 4 hours of educa- *advocacy Frank Banner. "Too often those are the *information tional parent seminars for separating *fund-raising cases by which many children and theirparents. The Act also requires parents *what else would you like to do? parents find themselves in. If we are toto draw up parenting plans, both tern- Contact the national office or the chapter find solutions in cases involving our chil- nearest you to ask about their needs. THANK YOU. Page 20 Speak Out For Children Spring 1998 21 Tie Purple Ribbons, Hold Vigils During 1999 Conference Equal Parents' Week July 27- August 2 CRC will soon issue a call for by Patti Diroll; papers for presentation at the 12th CRC Coordinator, Equal Parents Week national CRC conference to be I would like to extend a heartfeltparental rights and responsibilities. held in the Spring of 1999 in the thank you to everyone in CRC for your It is long overdue that "the best Washington, D.C. area. participation in Equal Parents' Weekinterests of children" can best be met if For information, last year. we maximize the ability of both parents This year, Equal Parents Weekto raise and nurture their children. contact Michael Ewing, (EPW) takes place July 27-August 2, Equal Parents' Week follows Na- 757-543-5993. 1998. tional Parent's Day (NPD) in further- As you probably know, CRC hasance of their mutual objectives to taken the role of national sponsor forstrengthen the role parents play in Thanks to everyone who ob- Equal Parents Week. children's lives. served Children's Day on the first The main activity of EPW is wear- CRC's main activity will be to hold Sunday inJune,June 7, 1998. Next ing purple ribbons and tying them ev-candlelight vigils nationwide. The chap- year, Children's Daywill be on June erywhere they can be seen in public.ters decided during the chapters' regu- 6, 1999. The purpose of Equal Parents' Weeklar bi-monthly conference call in April, is to send the message that parentalto hold the vigils Wednesday, July 29 rights and responsibilities must beat 8 p.m. Meta-Analysis shared equally by unmarried, separated The NewJersey CRC chapter, the Continued from page 17or divorced parents. New Jersey Council for Children's 17. Pojman, Everett Q. (1981), Emo- Equality is not just a legal concept.Rights, led by Dominick Romano, de- tional adjustment of boys in soleIt is a civil rights movement, and a hu-serves credit for holding nine candlelight custody and joint custody di-man rights movement. The right of bothvigils throughout New Jersey last year. vorces compared with adjust-parents to function as parents, and the If you cannot participate in a vigil, ment of boys in happy and un-right of children to be raised and nur-please burn one or more candles inside happy marriages. Doctoral disser-tured by both parents, are rights inher-your home on July 29 at 8 p.m. for 10 tation, California Graduate Insti-ent and inalienable to all families, whose minutes, along with tying your purple tute. existence depend on equal sharing ofribbons all week. 18. Rockwell-Evans, Kim E. (1991). If you have questions, Parental and children's experi- please contact me at 909-591-3689. ences and adjustment in mater- Thank you nal vs. joint custody families. Doctoral dissertation, University of North Texas. PLEASE JOIN US IN SENDING A 19. Shiller, Virginia M. (1986). Joint MESSAGE THROUGHOUT THE U.S. versus maternal custody for families with latency age boys; Par- TO REFORM OUR LAWS: ent characteristics and child adjustment. American Journal of EQUAL PARENTS' WEEK Orthopsychiatry, 56 486-489. 20. Welsh-Osga, Barbara K. (1982). The effects of custody arrange- July 27, 1998 - August 2, 1998 ments on children of divorce. 0 Doctoral dissertation, University of South Dakota. Pin a purple ribbon (dark or light) to your shirt, display it visibly on 21. Wolchik, Sharlene A., Braver, your car, your home or anywhere...where everyone can see, as a Sanford L. & Sandler, Irwin N. symbol that we want EQUAL responsibility for and EQUAL access to (1985). Maternal versus joint custody: Children's postseparation our children, motivated by our love for our children and determina- experiences and adjustment. tion to be meaningfully involved in their lives. Journal of Clinical Child Psychol- ogy, 14, 5-10.

Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 21 22 National Affiliate Organizations and Chapters National Affiliate Patricia Gehlen, coordinator Kentucky New Jersey Council for Texas Organizations phone: 916/635-2590 Kevin O'Brien Children's Rights Children's Rights Coalition Mothers Without Custody CRC of Kentucky (NJCCR) (Affiliate) (MW/OC) Regional chapters and directors P 0 Box 76266 PO Box 316 PO Box 12961 P.O. 77. Box 27417 Los Angeles, Keith Fagan Highland Heights, KY 41076 Pluckernin, NJ 07978-0316 Capitol Station Houston, TX 77227-7418 phone: 818/705-4752 phone: 513/624-7223 phone: 201/694-9323 Austin, TX 78711-2961 Joint membership in MW/OC Placer and Nevada counties email: DANDOM @aol.com phone: .512/499-8CRC and CRC: $35.00 a year John Costello Louisiana fax: 512/499-8056 phone: 916/489-3482 Contact national CRC office New York entail: [email protected] Parents Without Partners Riverside, Ted Hill 202/547-6227 Kim Boedecker-Frey, (PWP) phone: 909/781-7277 coordinator Vermont Pat Boyd, president Yolo, Kitty Jackson Maryland CRC of New York Laurie Casey, coordinator 401 N. Michigan Avenue phone: 916/753-8867 Harvey Walden, coordinator 231 Main Street, Suite 1 CRC of Vermont Chicago, IL 60611 CRC of Maryland Vestal, NY 13850 PO Box 81 312/644-6610 Colorado 417 Pershing Drive phone/fax: 607/785-9338 Moriah Center, NY 12961 Members of PWP join CRC for Mark Entrekin, coordinator Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 phone/fax: 518/942-3366 only $20.00 a year. CRC of Colorado phone: 301/588-0262 Serge Prengel, president 4715 Ranch Circle http://membersaripod.com/-mdcrc CRC of New York City Virginia Stepfamily Association of Colorado Springs, CO 80918-1118 c/o Mission Advertising John Vaughan, president America (SAA) phone 719/548-8798 Phil Thommen, President 27 W. 24th St., #603 CRC of Virginia, Margorie Engel, president fax 719/597-2218 CRC of Central Maryland New York, NY 10010 Tidewater chapter 650 J Street, Suite 205 email: [email protected] 8229 Mapleville Road phone: 212/431-7724 P.O. Box 61245 Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 Mt. Airy, MD 21771 email: [email protected] Virginia Beach, VA 23462 phone: 402/477-7837 Delaware 410/659-6220 phone: 757/463-KIDS Joint membership in SAA and James A. Morning, president North Carolina email: [email protected] CRC: $35.00 for the first year CRC of Delaware Massachusetts Fred Wall, Jr. coordinator website: www.infi.net/ TELL ANY OF THE ABOVE P 0 Box 1311 Frank E. Anderson, coordinator 509 N. Seventh Street -saxman/crc.hunl ORGANIZATIONS THAT Dover, DE 19901 phone: 617/289-8331 Wilmington, NC 28401 YOU WANT A JOINT MEM- phone: 302/734-8522 phone: 910/762-4952 Murray Steinberg, president BERSHIP IN THEIR GROUP Ted Ell, president email: CRC of Virginia, AND CRC. District of Columbia CRC of Cape Cod [email protected] Richmond chapter Frank Banner, coordinator 1 Emily's Lane 10210 Pepperhill Lane CRC Chapters CRC of the District of Columbia Sandwich, MA 02563-2794 Ohio Richmond, VA 23233-3835 CRC of Japan Hillcrest Children's Center phone 508/420-1701 Margaret Wuwert, coordinator phone: 804/740-9889 Walter Benda 1325 "W" Street NW 3rd Fl. fax 508/428-5976 CRC of Ohio fax: 804/740-7253 P.O. Box 583 Washington, D.C. 20009 CRC of Northwest Ohio email: [email protected] Max Meadows, VA 24360 phone: 202/232-6100 George Kelly, chairman 2745 Sagamore Road phone: 540/637-3576 Concerned Fathers of Toledo, OH 43606 Paul Robinson, president email: [email protected] Florida Massachusetts, Inc. phone: 419/472-1471 Fathers United for Equal Rights and Kris Kline, coordinator P 0 Box 2768 and Women's Coalition Brian Thomas CRC of Florida Springfield, MA 01101-2768 Parents and Children PO Box 1323 4-18-15-903 Kamiki Tazawa 355 Shore Drive phone: 413/736-7432 for Equality Arlington, VA 22210-1323 Setagaya-Ku Ellenton, FL 34222 fax: 413/732-3867 Kevin O'Brien, director phone: 703/451-8580 Tokyo, Japan 156 phone: 941/722-8688 PO Box 8805 email: [email protected] 011-81-3-5317-4371 fax: 813/620-9068 Michigan Cincinnati, OH 45208 Barbara Toth, coordinator phone: 513/624-7223 Tom Vail, Esq., president Alabama Georgia CRC of Michigan CRC of Northern Virginia E.D. Wilson, coordinator Harry A. Prillaman, coordinator P 0 Box 653 Oregon 28 Lyndhurst Court CRC of Alabama CRC of Georgia Edmore, MI 48829-0653 Roy Nolan, coordinator Sterling, VA 20165 12890 Dixie Road 164.5 Williams Drive 517/427-5774 CRC of Oregon phone: 703/444-3726 Fairhope, AL 36532-4754 Marietta, GA 30066 P 0 Box 2095 fax: 703/444-1542 phone: 334/928-0464 phone: 770/425-1395 Minnesota Portland, OR 97208 [email protected] email: Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator phone: 503/232-8630 Alaska Harry [email protected] CRC of Minnesota fax: 503/233-9390 Washington State Diana Buffington 5905 Chateau Road N.W. Contact national CRC office CRC of Alaska Illinois Rochester, MN 55901 Pennsylvania 202/547-6227 317 Maple Terry Cady, coordinator phone/fax: 507/289-5745 Michael E. Jones, coordinator Kodiak, AK 99615 CRC of Illinois (call before faxing) CRC of Pennsylvania Wisconsin phone: 907/486-2290 905 Wayne Avenue email: RD 2, Box 290 Nancy Kellogg Deerfield, IL 60015 [email protected] Seward, PA 15954 PO Box 452 Arizona phone: 847/374-0461 phone: 814/446-4207 Racine, WI 53401-0452 Conrad Green fax: 312/322-3553 Missouri fax:814/446-5935* phone: 414/635-0154 P 0 Box 454 Scott Field, chair email: Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 [email protected] CRC of Missouri Tennessee finlyjst@jstc@rootcommet phone: 602/970-5903 P.O. Box 220661 David Courson, coordinator fax: 602/970-5925 Indiana Kirkwood, MO 63122 CRC of Tennessee Mike Oddenino,CRC's David Dinn, coordinator phone: 314-963-4668 5914 Charlotte Avenue General Counsel, has a new Arkansas CRC of Indiana alt. phones: 314/878-1212 Nashville, TN 37209 website. It can be reached at Bill Bailey, Ph.D. 2625 N. Meridian, Suite 202 314/843-6033 phone: 615/327-8667 www.oanglaw.com CRC of Arkansas Indianapolis, IN 46208-7703 email: [email protected] 1685 Boston Place phone: 317/925-5433 Fayetteville, AR 72703 fax: 317/926-D1NN Nebraska/Iowa phone: 501/575-2058 (w) Lyn and William Huerter, CRC WANTS CHAPTERS IN phone: 501/444-0172 (h) Grandparent Rights in New coordinators EVERY STATE!!! Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) California Kay and Ray Berryhill, Mike Hyland, president For development of chapters in states that do Will Brown, president co-directors CRC of Nebraska not yet have any CRC chapters, contact national CRC CRC of California 0689 CR 5 P 0 Box 37387 office at (202) 547-6227, email [email protected] P.O. Box 60811 Corunna, IN 46730 Omaha, NE 68137-5387 Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 phone: 219/281-2384 phone: 402/330-3353 Join CRC, then ask for a copy of the 100-page phone: 916/488-KIDS email: [email protected] CRC booklet that explains everything you need to know fax: 916/441-2024 Iowa - See Nebraska/Iowa website: www.hunp.net/oma about affiliation. The cost of the booklet is $15.00. email: [email protected] New Jersey To form additional chapters in states that already Dominick Romano, president have one or more chapters, contact the state coordinator or existing state chapter head listed above. BEST COPY AVAILABLE 23 Thank You, Contributors!We thank all contributors who have joined, renewed their membership, contributed to CRC, or ordered materials from CRC from October 1, 1997 through De- cember 31, 1997. * Denotes life members of CRC (financial contributions totaling $500 or more).

Lillian Alvarado Razvan Desliu Mark Johnson Marc/Vanessa Norton Edward Stephens Sam Arab David Dinn Robert Johnson Douglas Obetz Bob Stien Chris Babcook Robert Eier Alan Jones Johnatha/Peg Oler Tim Sullivan Dan Baker Irwin Eisenstein Jeffrey Jones Bob Owen David Tait Stephen Baskerville Cynthia Ewing Hoffer Kaback Everett Padgett Patrick Tang Philip Batten Michael Ewing Robert Kaleopaa Dorothy Parker Jack Taylor John Bauserman, Sr. Laurel Federbush Alan Kapp Elliott Parker Sue Taylor Robert Bauserman Marcia Federbush Jim Kastarna John Parks Dianna Thompson Carl Baust Paul Finger Jim Keim Rusty Peverell Roy Thompson Walter Benda Howard Fishman Loree King Denise Pitts Steven Tillman Sherry Berson Moss Kim Fiske Michael Komada Christopher Poussaint Mary Tommasschi Felipe Bolivar Natalie Flores Thomas Kowalski Marion Powell Douglas Trebtoske L Jason Bouchard Joe Foreman Chuck Kudla Serge Prengel Dale Truitt J Bowbay Sandra Fredrick D Richard Kuhn Harry Prillaman Alice Tulanowski Paul Brundage Jenna Friederich John Kupik Erik Purasson Mark Usry Sam Brunelli John Gabor Vicki Lansky Gilbert Quiniola Tom Vail Terry Cady Karen Gordon Deborah Leathers Janet Regan John Vaughan Janet Cain Charles Gower Wladimir Lemberg Eileen Robb David Vela Stephen Carrier Harold Haas Vivian Lewis David Roberts Nathan Villa Dan Carrigan Mary Hadley Leonard Lipshultz Paul Robinson Barbara Wagner Terri Casaus Bill Harrington Cynthia Lucas Bruno Romano Harvey Walden Katla Chamberlain S Riley Hart Judy Manhas Dominick Romano Douglas Waldmann Charles Chester Nancy Heleno Obetz Richard Martin James Rore Ivy Walker Ferrel Christensen Kevin/Claudia Henry Walter Martin Joseph Rzepecki Rudene Walker Vicky Cole William Hess Joseph Mason Joseph Sahid Fred Wall James Cook Terry Hihner Rohert/Lenoe McCollum Gary Santora Donald Wallace Leonard Cook Stephen Hoffman Matt McGrath Thomas Savedge Aletta Waterhouse Kevin Copeland Phillip Holman Terry McMenamin Benjamin Sawyer Susette Watt Maureen Corbett Ned Holstein Evelyn Metaxas David Schultz Cynthia Wheeler John Costello Robert Howard J Eric Minton Robert & Ann Seidenberg Robert Whitfield David Courson Lyn Huerter Paul Mitchell LaRose Shirley Clair Wiederholt Antonio Coy Ferrer William Huerter Ronald Mitsch David Shurbutt Ernest Williams James Creason Mike Hurley Joe Montoya John Siegmund E. Wilson John Cristofano Bev Hyde Lawrence Morgan David Smith Kenneth Winston Melanie Cummings Stewart Iden Beverly Mussetter Elaine Snipes-Hodges Margaret Wuwert Michael Cummings Midri Itauri Ron Nelson Gerald Solomon Darryl Yoblick Cathy Davis Andre Jackson Wade Newman Steven Spencer Mark Young Michele Delo Anju Jessani Arthur Nietfield Murray Steinberg Michael Zavislak CRC Guideline Available Copies of the model child supportwhich is the Office of Child Supportbers, and $10.00 for non-members, in- guideline prepared by CRC that is basedEnforcement's Child Support Referencecluding shipping and handling. on a child having two parents are stillCenter, located at 370 L'Enfant Prom- If you would like to contact Don available from the federal government.enade SW, Washington, D.C. 20447.Bieniewicz, author of the guideline, for This is the first time that the fed-There is no charge for the publication,his assistance in getting this guideline eral government has ever distributed aentitled "Child Support Guidelines: Theadopted in the states, write him at 10004 guideline that takes into account the di-Next Generation", as long as suppliesFairoaks Road, Vienna, VA 22181, rect expenditures on a child by the non-last. contact him via email at custodial parent. Copies of the guideline itself [email protected], or phone 703- To obtain a copy of the federalpublished by the government are avail-255 -0837 (evenings). publication, phone (202) 401-9383,able from CRC for $5.00 for CRC mem- Updated Parenting Directory Available The new update of CRC's Inter-such as custody, access/visitation, andand Ed Mudrak for their hard work in national Parenting Directory is nowprevention of parental kidnapping. Theupdating this Directory. The hardcopy available. Updated as of November,Directory, an invaluable networkingis updated once a year; the disc is up- 1997, this 7th edition of the directorytool, is available in hardcopy or disc fordated frequently. Order from CRC and contains information on more than$12 for CRC members, and $15 for non-specify which version you want 1,200 groups and individuals across themembers. CRC thanks Paul Robinsonhardcopy or disc. country and abroad working in areas Spring 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 23 24 BEST COPY AVAILABLE A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. Permit #881

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Benefits Include: Name. Quarterly Newsletter "Best Parent..." Bumper Sticker Address: Copy of a National Conference Proceedings City: State: ZIP: FREE telephone con- versation with a nationally recognized expert on Home Phone: Alt. Phone: Move-Away issues! Much, much more! Send Application & Contribution to CRC 300 "I" Street, NE Suite 401 *Washington, DC 200024389 Call 202/547-6227 to charge your membership to VISA/Mastercard or AMEX Bulk copies of this newsletter are available (20 fOr $20, 50 for $40, and 100 for $75)for distribution to policy makers, judges, and interested persons in your state. Send order to .CRC 25 Vol. 13-No.2 Summer/Fa11 1998 ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Assisting Children of Through Education Unwed Parents, Separation and Divorce

The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Phone (202)547-6227 IN THIS ISSUE: Anti-Joint Custody Resolution DerailedSo Far Apply for Grants 3 Good newsso far. The anti joint custody port, by Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA), who said he was resolution which had been introduced in the U.S. against domestic violence, but for joint custody. The Letters to Editor 3 House of Representatives by Congresswoman resolution urges states to give veto power over joint Connie Morella (R-MD) has suffered a setback. custody to the child's "primary caretaker parent" News Flashes 4 But it may not be totally dead. as a supposed way of preventing domestic violence; As we reported in the last issue of "Speak the opposition to the resolution of Rep. Virgil Goode Locate Children 4 Out for Children," the resolution had been in- (D-VA), who wrote a letter to Cindy and Michael cluded in Sec. 241 of H.R. 3514the Violence Ewing, longtime CRC members, saying he supported Iowa Top State 5 Against Women Act II (VAWA). We encour- joint custody when he was a member of the Vir- aged everyone to write to their House member ginia legislature, and had not changed his mind now Results of Research 6 and encourage them to remove Section 241 of that he was in Congress; that bill. CRC interns also blanketed the hill to the educational efforts of many CRC members, other Standby Guardianship 7 encourage Representatives to vote against that supporters of joint custody across the country, and section. the efforts on Capitol Hill referred to above. The CRC View 8 On June 18, 1998, Congress passed vari- CRC will continue to closely monitor this anti- ous portions of the Violence Against Womenjoint custody (shared parenting) resolution. In the Courts 9 Act, as an amendment to the Child Protection Rep. Morella could still seek to pass the resolu- and Sexual Predators Act (H.R. 3494). tion as part of the remaining sections of VAWA, if Set Reasonable Child The anti-joint custody resolution was notthey are called for a vote. Or she could seek to pass Support 10 part of the measure that passed the House! the resolution on its own. So CRC supporters are urged Observers in Congress credited the suc- Interference to continue writing to your House member, asking the cess in stalling the anti-joint custody resolutionRepresentative to: With Access 11 to various factors, including: notify Ms. Morella that they do not sup- the initial support, then withdrawal of sup- tinily Facts port the resolution, and to notify you that 13 they have let her know of their opposition. Then tell CRC! pooks, Videos, The resolution in full states: 64,Audios 1 6-1 9 Sec. 241. Child custody, child abuse, and victims of domestic violence. Bills in Congress 20 Expresses the sense of the Congress that for purposes of determining child custody, it is in the best 400k Reviews 21 interest of children to have a presumption that children should have their main physical residence with Dtmund the Country 22 the primary caretaker parent unless that parent is un-

Inside CRC 23 CRC 1.998 Summer Interns Continued onpage 7 See story on page .5 6 "Speak Out for Children% published by the Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor: David L.CRC is a member (Number 1513) of Levy.Contributors to this Issue: Don Bieniewicz, Lynn Ephraim, David Dinn. College student interns Sylvan Butera, University of California at Santa Barbara; Sherida Colvin, Arizona State University; Lisa Everett, University of Illinois; Melissa Gillombardo, University of Ohio; Lanetta Greer, Washington University; J.C. Humphries; Florida. Atlantic University, Denise Knipp, University of Illinois; Staci Peckham, University of Rhode Island; Angela Roberts, Washington University; Krister Ryerson, Uni- versity of Florida; Lynda Taylor, Capitol University; Sabrina Thomas, Colorado State University; Aaron Washburn, Drury College; Melanie Woodrow, Cornell University.Layout by Kathleen Ballard. Children's About CRC Charities of adversarial process, and providing for America The Children's Rights Council emotional and financial child support. Wemission, provided the source ("Reprinted (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRSwork to strengthen fragile families offrom the Children's Rights Council news- 501(c)(3) children's rights organizationchildren whose parents are unwed. Weletter 'Speak Out for Children,' Summer/ based in Washington, D.C. also favor school-based programs forFall 1998") is given. For non-CRC mate- CRC works to strengthen familieschildren at risk. rial, obtain permission from the copy- through education and advocacy. We fa- Formed in 1985 by concerned par-right owner. For further information vor family formation and family preser-ents who have more than 40 years col-about CRC membership, publications, vation, but if families break up, or are lective experience in custody reform andcassettes, catalog, and services, write: never formed, we work to assure a childearly childhood education, CRC hasCRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, the frequent and continuing contact withchapters in 32 states and three nationalWashington, D.C. 20002-4389; phone two parents and extended family the childaffiliate organizations: Mothers Without(202) 547-6227; fax (202) 546-4CRC would normally have during a marriage. Custody (MW/OC), Parents Without (4272). Our motto is "The Best Parent is BothPartners (PWP), and the Stepfamily As- The CRC home page's URL is Parents." sociation of America (SAA). http://www.vix.com/crc/CRC's email For the child's benefit, CRC favors Prominent professionals in theaddress: [email protected] Out parenting education before marriage, dur-fields of religion, law, social work, psy-for Children is published four times a ing marriage, and for parents who arechology, child care, education, business,year and is sent free to members. Li- unwed or separated. We work to demili-and government comprise our Advisory brary rate: $20.00 a year. Send letters, tarize divorce between parents who are Panel. comments, and articles for publication involved in marital disputes, sub4ituting Material in this newsletter authoredto Editor, CRC. conciliation and mediation for theby CRC may be reprinted without per-

OFFICERS NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS Karen DeCrow Jennifer Isham, President AND BOARD MEMBERS Darryl Grant, Washington Redskins Former President of N.O.W. Mothers Without Custody (MW /OC) David L Levy, Esq., President and CEO Superbowl XVII and XXII Champion Jamesville, New York Crystal Lake, Illinois Paul R. Locigno Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author Susette Watt Elliott H. Diamond Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. John Bauserman,Jr, Esquire EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Co-Founder, CRC Executive Director Joan Langworthy John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Reston, Virginia Northern California Mediation Center D. Richard Kuhn HONORARY PRESIDENT Nancy Heleno Ober/ Phyllis Diller, Comedienne Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. David Brenner, entertainer Los Angeles, California Author, Psychiatrist New York, New York ADVISORY PANEL Head Waters, Virginia Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Margorie Engel, President GENERAL COUNSEL Former President, Board of Rabbis President, Stepfamily Association of Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Michael L Oddenino of Greater Washington, DC America Deephaven, Minnesota Arcadia, California David Birney, Actor Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author James Levine, The Fatherhood Project DIR. OF Santa Monica, California former Member of the Board of The Family and Work Institute INFORMATION SERVICES Directors, New York City N.O.W. New York, New York Ed Mudrak Hon. Sherwood Boehlert I.eucadia, California U.S. Congressman (R-NY) John Money, Ph.D. Professor of DIR. OF MARKETING 'any Gaughan, Professional Director Medical Psychology and Pediatrics Philip E. Thommen Pat Boyd, President Family Mediation of Greater Johns Hopkins University and Hospital Parents Without Partners (PWP) Washington, D.C. Baltimore, Maryland DIR. OF PARENTING EDUCATION PROGRAMS: Jim Cook, President Jonathan M. Goodson, President Hon. Debbie Stabenow Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. Joint Custody Association Mark Goodson Productions U.S. Congresswoman (D-MI) Salt Lake City, Utah Los Angeles, California Los Angeles, California Hon. Fred Thompson PARENTING EDUCATION "Dear Abby" Hon. Bob Graham U.S. Senator (R-TN) SPOKESPERSON: (Abigail Van Buren) U.S. Senator (D-FL) Wes Unseld, VP Washington Bullets Los Angeles, California Member, NBA Hall of Fame

Page 2 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 27 44)4 Apply for Funds in Second Round of Access Grants! Many statesthe average grant totaling aboutthe access/visitation grants on behalf of have already begun$190,000. California is the largest recipi-the federal Office of Child Support En- to decide how theyent, receiving more than $1 million. Theforcement, U.S. Department of Health will spend the seconddisbursements were made under a for-and Human Services. round of access/visi-mula based in part on the number of Some Allied Groups tation grants. Non-single-parent households in the state. Receive Funding profit groups are eli- The $10 million in annual access From what CRC can determine, gible to receive fundsgrants are provided for by the 1996 Wel-only a limited number of CRC-type from the states, andfare Reform law. They are block grantsgroups applied in their states for funding Arnaudo are urged to contactto the states (and the District of Colum-in the first round, and about half of them state officials in charge of the grants, saybia, Guam, Puerto Rico and the Virginhave received funding. federal officials. Island), "to administer programs to sup- In addition to such grants for CRC- "Get funding for telephone refer-port and facilitate non-custodial parentstype groups mentioned in our previous rals services, which many access-orientedaccess to and visitation of their children."newsletters, we have now learned that: groups are already running. And consider A wide variety of programs are CRC of Nebraska has received starting neutral drop-off and pick-up ofbeing carried out by the states in the first Nebraska's $50,000 access grant in children centers," said Al Ellis, who su-round, including Voluntary and Manda- order to administer mediation pro- pervises CRC of Maryland's neutral drop-tory Mediation, Counseling, Education, grams in Lancaster and Douglas coun- off sites in 3 Maryland counties (PrinceDevelopment of Parenting Plans, Access ties. Nebraska CRC state coordina- George's, Anne Arundel, and Montgom- (Visitation) Enforcement, Monitored tors Bill and Lyn Huerter said Ne- ery counties). The states are receiving Visitation, Supervised Visitation, Neutral braska CRC asked for no funds to approximately the same amount of funds Drop-off and Pick-up Centers, and De- administer the program. All travel, to operate the second round of access/velopment of Guidelines for Visitation office space, personnel, will be do- visitation grants that they received dur-and Alternative Custody Arrangements. nated as "in-kind" services, in order ing the first round distributed last year. "There has been a mix of programs to promote mediation for divorcing Under that disbursement, eachand services, with no one program or parents in those two counties; state will receive in the second round (asservice predominating," said David they did last year) at least $50,000, with Arnaudo, who is in charge of overseeing Continued on page 7

The first video will be used by the Letters to the Editor Court to help parents recognize signs of Editor: the harmful alienating behaviors which Maricopa County, Arizona, is us-damaging their alienating behavior is tothey use to bias the child against the other ing its access funds from the state ofthe child. parent. Parents identified as chronic vio- Arizona to produce two educational vid- Even in cases where the other par-lators of court-ordered visitation will view eos on the unfortunate prevalance ofent is not viewed to be the most effec-the video as part of a court-ordered edu- parental alienation in divorcing families. tive parent, children have a better chancecation class. Parental alienation takes form in numer- to gain a deeper sense of rootedness, A second video will alert the judi- ous subtle, as well as deliberate ways. belonging and self-confidence when theyciary and other professionals who can Parental alienation is a significanthave connection with both parents. benefit from learning about the problem. factor in countless cases of non-compli- As with most things, children learn Teachers, physicians and child cus- ance with court-ordered access. It is im- from their parents how to solve prob-tody evaluators can unwittingly become perative that parents learn about thelems. Parents who do not model con-caught up in the alienating parent's un- harm that children endure when parents structive conflict resolution for their chil-warranted effort to deny access to the sabotage the child's relationship with the dren will most likely see serious prob-non-custodial parent, unless they become other parent, whether unwittingly, or withlems with their children's emotional andaware of the warning signs of alienation. conscious intent. social development, as well as with school It is gratifying to work together with I am confident that parents who performance. groups like the Children's Rights Coun- truly love their children would not con- However, children who have con- cil. tinue to participate in the negative un- tact with both parents and extended fami- Kat Cooper, dermining of the child's positive and lov- lies, usually have a stronger self-concept, Associate Clerk of Superior Court ing relationsip with the other parent, ifand are less likely to "act out" in ways Family Support Center they fully understood how painful andthat will undermine their success. 602/506 -5714 Summer/Fall 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 3 28 IP !!News Flashes!! 1)A key Congressman, Clay Shaw, R-FL, indicates he will introduce the Amendmentto the Standby Guardianship Resolution we have sought, to make clear that state laws should not bypass the other parent as first choice in custody for an illor dying parent. See story on page 7. We will keep you posted as to when this amendment will be introduced. Thanks to all ofyou who wrote or phoned your Congressmembers! 2)Read Divorced DadsShattering the Myth by Sanford Braver, Ph.D. andDianne O'Connell, Random House, due out this Fall, $24.95, ISBN# 0-87477-862-X. Braver is the federally-funded researcher who has spoken at several CRC conferences. We especially like Chapter 8 The Parentally Disenfranchised Dad, but the entire book is terrific! Order from CRC or at your local bookstore. 3)CRC cannot endorse candidates, but Children's PAC, the PAC with goals similarto CRC, can! Contact Ann Marini, M.D., and Robert Lipsky, Children's PAC, 301/530-9290 to endorseyour favorite Congressional candidate this Fall. The PAC also needs help with bookkeeping and organization. A former CRC member running for Congress is Eric Bleicken,in the Massachusetts 10th District on Cape Cod, phone 508/760-2045. Children Missing from Non-Custodial Parents Can be Located, Say Feds For years, the Federal Parent An article in the Washington If you have a similar problem lo- Locater Service (FPLS) was primarilyTimes Sunday,June 21, 1998, highlighted cating the whereabouts of your child, available to locate parents who owed fi-the problems a non-custodial father inhave your attorney contact the local child nancial child support, and more than 1Maryland was having in obtaining en-support office to obtain information as million such parents a year have beenforcement of the FPLS to locate his chil-to their whereabouts. located through cross-checking applica-dren. If the information is not provided, tions for motor vehicle licenses and other The article provoked an unusual you may wish to notify Rep. Shaw, Chair- means. , reply, to the Editor.io_the Ximes.from a __man,Human.Resources Subcommittee, In 1996, the. Welfare Reform, law..key Congressman, Rep. Clay Shaw (R-House Committee on Ways and Means, extended the FPLS to "require states toFL), who helped gain passage of the ex-Rayburn B317, Washington, D.C. provide information on the location ofpansion of the FPLS. See his letter re- 20515. children to parents who do not live withproduced below. their children." The Washington Times Reprinted with permission from Letters to the Eidtor PAGE A 16/ FRIDAY,JULY 3, 1998 A parent has a legal right to knowa child's location Your Father's Day story "These In order to protect against cases need love, involvement and money from dads see need for role in rearing chil-in which domestic violence is a potentialboth parents. dren" prompted me to write. The storyissue, the information is provided by the Congress has created a strong tells of the difficulty a divorced Mary-Department of Health and Human Ser-child-support program designed to en- land father, Virgil T. Chase, is having invices (HHS) to the local court respon-sure that parents who do not live with getting cooperation from governmentsible for the case. If the information has their children provide financial support. officials in locating his children. been requested by an authorized person,Although the child-support program As chairman of the House sub-such as the father's lawyer, and if theleaves most issues concerning custody committee with jurisdiction over thecourt is not aware of evidence of domestic and visitation to the state, the federal child-support program, I want your read-violence, the state must request, HHSgovernment does insist that information ers to know that federal law requires bothmust provide, and the local court muston the location of children be made avail- state governments and local courts, un-share information on the location of chil-able to nonresident parents such as Mr. der most circumstances, to help a fatherdren with the nonresident parent. Chase. in Mr. Chase's situation. More specifi- This federal statute, which was putE. CLAY SHAW JR. cally, federal law requires states to pro-in place by the 1996 welfare reform lawChairman, Human Resources Subcom- vide information on the location of chil-and modified slightly in 1997 legislation,mittee Committee on Ways and Means dren to parents who do not live with theiris based on a simple principle: ChildrenU.S. House of Representatives children. Washington Page 4 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 Iowa Top State to Raise a Child Iowa is the best state to raise a One of the media's favorite quotes child, according to the most recentlywas from Congressman Ganske, who said published data analyzed by the Children's "we raise corn and kids right in Iowa." Rights Council. The 50 states and D.C. were cat- CRC released its 1998 4th annualegorically measured and then ranked in report on how the fifty states and D.C. relation to one another based on 11 dif- rank in the raising of children at a press ferent criteria. These criteria are the high- conference July 28 in a Senate Officeest public high school graduation rate, Building conference room. Four mem-and the lowest of each of the following: bers of Congress, Rep. Greg Ganske infant mortality rate, child death rate, chil- IA),James L. Oberstar (D-MN), Mar-dren in poverty, teenage pregnancy rate, In telephone interviews with radio tin Olav Sabo (D-MN), and Gilunwed births, divorce rate, single parentstations, CRC noted that family struc- Gutknecht (R-MN), spoke at the con-households, crime rate, drug inducedture plays a key role in childhood ference. deaths and alcohol induced deaths. wellbeing. Three newscameras were at the "We feel these are the best indica- CRC chapters, all of whom had ad- press conference, from CNN, ABC, andtors of how well a state provides a child-vance copies of the report, plugged into NBC. The report was also carried byfriendly environment," said CRC Presi-local media where possible, with com- other major national media, including APdent David L. Levy. ments on how to help chldren and fami- Newswire (about 2,000 newspapers), AP Eleven CRC student college sum-lies in their states. radio (about 2,000 radio stations), Good mer interns worked hard to correlate the Copies of the 8-page report are Morning America, and USA Today. data, which came from such sources asavailable free to CRC members; non- CRC received hundreds of phonethe FBI, Statistical Abstract of the U.S.,members send $5. Or see the report on calls in the days following from newspa- and to provide the rankings. The internsCRC's website, www.vix.com/crc/ pers and radio stations wanting additional spoke at the press conference. information about their state's ranking.

THIS RIVETING EXPOSÉ REVEALS HOW JUDGES, ATTORNEYS, PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATE LAW & ETHICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL TO IDENTIFY A "PRIMARY PARENT"

A FAMILY DIVIDED One Divorced A Divorced Father's Father's Story Struggle with the Child Custody Industry Every Father's and Child's Nightmare Rafegt Nefgetetioft

547pp.Prometheus Books Cloth $27.95

"Robert Mendelson's new book, A Family Divided, compellingly chronicles Dr. Michael Nieland's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along the way provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce as well as thoughtful recommendations to policy makers for change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!" -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative

"A Family Divided is on target about the social ill that faces society today.I liken it to social cancer." Sidney Siller, Chairman/Founder of the National Organization for Men

How to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores Internet: www.amazon.com Publisher: 1.800.421.0351 (Prometheus Books) CRC Catalog of Resources

30 BEST COPYAVAILABLE ResuRs Of Judith S. Wallerstein they got there". The study appears to bewhile having regular contact with their and Julia Lewis, 1998. of children in which one parent has solekids, none of these fathers supported The Long-Term Impact of Divorce custody, usually the mother. their children completely for higher edu- on Children: A First Report Many of the children, 25 years af-cation. From a 25-Year Study ter the breakup, "spoke sadly of their When the study examined the re- Family and Conciliation Courts lost childhood". They claimed to feellationships of the parent and child the Review. 36:368-383 alone and angry. During the adolescentreport stated that, "it has been assumed A Summary of "The Long-Term years many of them turned to drug andby the legal system that if the mother Impact of Divorce on Children" alcohol abuse, and the report states thatdoes not interfere and the father is not Reviewed by Sylvan Butera, half of the people in the study were in-dangerous, the child and father will es- CRC Staff volved in this abuse. One of the children, tablish a regular contact schedule and will The article reports on a longitudi-now an adult, stated, "I came home dayenjoy and benefit from each other's fre- nal study of responses from children andafter day to an empty house. That's howquent company. Findings in this study adolescents involved in a divorce or sepa-I got involved in drugs and sex". show a much more complex picture". ration. It criticizes the decisions made With each developmental change,The study observed that the father's in- by parents, judges, attorneys, mediators,the children experienced more conflictsvolvement with the children depended and mental health professionals in whichdue to the divorce. Entering into adult-on his own success and failure in differ- the child has no opinion in future plan-hood, after turning 18 years, child sup-ent aspects of his life. When fathers re- ning yet is the one most influenced. port stopped, and many of them were married there was the tendency for them This study reports on children whonot financially supported to continue forto give priority to the new marriage or are today between the ages of 27 and 32 higher education. The report states that,new children, thus sacrificing time that years, and at the time of the divorce were"It is not surprising, although the major- used to be spent with the child from the between the ages of 2 1/2 and 6. Theity graduated from high school, one thirdprevious marriage. Some of the fathers children came from middle-class homes ended their education there". The studywho had abandoned the children some- in northern California in which both par-claims that two-thirds of these childrentimes "resurfaced" when they became ents were educated. The report and studyhad fathers that "were well-paid profes-grandfathers or in time of need. "attempt to trace what has happened tosionals or successful business men," yet, Many of the young adults appeared them, where they are today, and hOw resentful of the strict court orders regarding visitation rights. The report Hello, Commissioner Ross! claims that, "No single child who saw David Gray Ross has a new title. He is now the "Commissioner" of thehis or her father under rigidly enforced federal Office of Child Support Enforcement in the U.S. De-court order or unmodified parental partment of Health and Human Services (HHS). Ross's previ-agreement had a good relationship with ous title (and of all those who previously held his job) washim after reaching adulthood". Many of "Deputy Director", even though he ran the Child Support Of-the people claimed that they felt their fice. In a recent reorganization, federal officials decided to match lives to be "abnormal," and that due to the title with the job, and then some. Ross has more responsibil-forced visitations they missed out on ity, because he is also in charge of new responsibilities under theschool activities they might have other- Welfare Reform Act, including upgrading child support systems wise been involved with. Ross and automation. Mothers were also taken into consideration, but were given more compas- Hello, Officer Arnaudo! sion than the fathers. Many mothers were David Arnaudo, who supervises the access/visitation block grants to all 50viewed as heroic for their efforts to keep states, has been named the new Advocacy Relations Officer ofthe family going. Problems arose when a the federal Child Support Office. In that job, Arnaudo is thestepfather came into the picture, and was liaison officer to all advocacy groups that deal with the Child given the right to discipline. Support Office. He is also in charge of the new outreach initia- A common anxiety seen among tive to the communities of service and faith, that is, churches,children of divorce is when it comes time synagogues, and service clubs that work with children. Davidfor them to experience their own rela- Ross, who named Arnaudo to the post, said "one of our majortionships or marriages. While some of initiatives for 1998 is an outreach to those organizations whothem have very successful marriages, Amaudo care about families to ensure that children have both emotionalsome of them avoid it altogether, and and financial support." some get married only to get divorced like their parents. Page 6 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 31 .4.1. Financial Facts Access Grants by William Dolan,J.D. Continued from page 3 CRC member and real-estate agent National CRC has received $50,000 Court-ordered financial child sup-2. all other debts must be less than or in access funds from the District of port payments have an impact on your equal to 8 percent of the borrower's Columbia. Half the funds will go to ability to get a mortgage for a house. gross income. the Washington, D.C., CRC chapter, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which are Look especially to the 8 percent headed by Frank Banner, who has es- the two federal quasi-government agen- rule. If the financial child support of the tablished a center for the neutral drop- cies through which most mortgages flow, non-custodial parent (NCP) is $500 a off and pick-up of children, supervised have guidelines for mortgage lenders. month in after-tax funds, then the NCP access, and counseling, at the Hillcrest Two of these guidelines relate tohas to earn at least $6,250 a month in Children's Center in northwest Wash- percentages of gross income of any mort-gross income, e.g, $75,000 a year to ington. The other $25,000 will go to gage borrower. That is, to obtain aqualify for the FMNA or FHLMC. If the national CRC office to do tele- mortgage from a lender which abides bythe NCP has credit card debt, car debt, phone referrals to unwed, separating, Fannie Mae (FMMA) and Freddie Macor other debt, then the NCP needs to and divorcing parents. (FHLMC) guidelines: make even more money to qualify for a The previously announced winners 1. the sum of principal + interest + taxesmortgage. of grants by non-profit groups that work + insurance must be less than or equal Mortgages may be available fromfor a child's right to two parents, regard- to 28 percent of the borrower's grossnon-FNMA and non-FHLMC sources,less of the parents' marital situation, are: income, and, but fewer of them are available and rates the Virginia Fatherhood Initiative may be less favorable. (VFI), headed by Michael and Cindy Ewing; CRC of New York State, headed by Standby Guardianship Kim Boedecker-Frey; The "standby guardianship" reso- The resolution passed by Congress CRC of Illinois, headed by Terry lution passed by Congress last year hasasks the states to pass laws allowing a Cady; already been adopted into law by severalparent who is chronically ill or near death David L Levy and CRC as consult- states, according to CRC observers. to designate a "standby guardian" for the ants to the state of Missouri access Other states are considering adopt-parent's minor children. grant. ing such a standby guardianship provi- This would allow the ill or dying sion. parent to bypass the other parent, some- Those provisions would allow athing that was not previously allowed in CRC needs grant and parent who is ill or dying to avoid laws in any state. proposal writers. all 50 states that automatically give cus-See NEWS FLASHES!! on page 4. tody to the other parent. Contact CRC

Expresses the sense of the Con- fessionals who interact with children Anti-Joint Custody gress that: and parents. Continued from page I 1) child abuse and child sexual abuse al- fit. Declares that it is not in the best in- legations should be investigated re- WRITE! terest of children to: gardless of when raised or whetherDear (your House member), Washing- 1) force parents to share custody over the child has recanted the allegation; ton, D.C. 20515 parental objection, or when there is a2) States should be more protective of Please oppose Sec. 241 of H.R. history of domestic or family violence; victims of family and domestic vio-3514. Family violence must be elimi- 2) punish abused or protective parents lence in custody and visitation deter-nated, but allowing one parent to veto who protect themselves or their chil- minations and not order mediation,joint custody is not the way to do it. dren; couples counseling, shared custody,Congressman Tom Davis withdrew his 3) presume that allegations of domestic mutual orders of protection, unsuper-support for this Resolution. I ask you to and family violence are likely to be vised visitation, or other measuresdo the same. Sec. 241 is anti-child and false, or made for tactical advantage when they may endanger such victims;anti-family. Thank you. during custody and divorce proceed- and ings; and 3) States should provide training in do-Sincerely, 4) make "friendly parent" provisions a mestic violence and child abuse, asSign your name, address, and phone factor when there is an abusive par- they impact custody, child support and number. ent. visitation determinations, to all pro- Summer/Fall 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 7 32 protect their rice bowls through flood and ewe vim. drought Once programs are established, 4 David 4 .dewy they tend to expand. There are now a The United The results were so positive, ac-group of people whose insight into the States has reached acording to federally-funded evaluators ofprograms, and financial future depends watershed in access/the $3 million test program, that Con-in part upon the preservation and expan- Levy visitationthat is, thegress provided access/visitation projects sion of access/visitation services. enforcement offor all 50 states and jurisdictions (Guam, We have all heard of the dead- rights involved in children's access to theirDistrict of Columbia, Virgin Islands,beatsirresponsible parents who won't unwed, separated, or divorced parents,Puerto Rico) in the 1996 Welfare Re-support their children. And then there about 85 percent of whom are fathers. form Act. are abusers who must be restricted in For years, in the rush to collect The 1996 law provided a pot ofterms of access to children. But there is more and more financial child support,only $10 million a year for those 54 ju- a vast middle ground of fit parents pushed by the huge weight of the federalrisdictions to share, with the smallestoften hidden from view whom access government, access/visitationthe rightgrant $50,000, and the largest grant to service providers are discovering to be of a child to spend time with both par-California of more than $1 million. Theeager for help. These are mostly dads ents, has been virtually ignored. average grant is about $185,000, basedwho feel, in the words of federally-funded The federal government's childon a formula involving the number ofArizona State University researcher support office in the U.S. Departmentsingle parents in a state. Sanford Braver, Ph.D., more "pushed of Health and Human Services (HHS) No jurisdiction can deliver a heavyaway and forced away" than "walked has a $3.5 billion budget and 60,000load with such limited funding, but thereaway" from their children after divorce. employees nationwide, with collectionare now, only 6 months into the pro-But there are 2 million non-custodial tools such as wage withholding, liens, taxgram, more than 500 people around themothers in this country, and so a sub- intercepts, free services and lawyers forcountry whose part-time or full time stantial number of pushed away parents custodial parents, arrests, jailings, andemployment depends on delivering ac-include mothers. "Most Wanted" lists. cess/visitation services. Add the following to the mix: Nothing comparable exists to help Two things emerge from this: A) All indications are that the ensure that custody determinations are A) Those 500 people and the stateproblems of access/visitation are larger fair, or that children will have both momsofficials they report to (child support of-than we imagine. The Census Bureau and dads involved in their lives post-ficials, governors, judges) now have anreports that 37 percent of fathers do not divorce. In the sole custody generationopportunity to see the importance andsee their children post-divorce. About that has prevailed since 1970, moms usu-even more significantly, the enforceabil-70% of inmates in prisons were raised ally get custody, dads usually get limitedity of access/visitation. without a father in the household. visitation, and the government put its Previously an amorphous entity Because the federal access/visita- heavy thumb on the scale almost totally(how can you enforce visitation?),tion programs are set to last for several on behalf of child support. people realize that mediation, parentingyears, those rice bowls are likely to grow education, parenting plans, and just plainlarger. This will increase the number of Access or parenting time, the more old talking to parents about their rightscourt associated individuals, child sup- holistic terms for the harsher prison-type and responsibilities, can help facilitate theport staff, and government agencies who word "visitation," became a step-child todifficult transfer from marriage to di-learn more about access/visitation en- financial support. vorce. forcement. But a phenomenon little noticed B) Those 500 people now have The more we learn, the more we in the media is starting to give a little"rice bowls." As it is said in Asia, a per-will find ways to make sure that children more clout to that step-child. son dependent on a rice economy mustare raised with both moms and dads. In 1988, Congress funded 7 access/visitation "demonstration" projects Updated Parenting Directory Available in Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Florida, Iowa, and Arizona to test mediation, The new update of CRC's International Parenting Directory is now available. Up- dated as of September, 1998, this 7th edition of the directory contains information counseling of divorcing fathers, parenting on more than 1,200 groups and individuals across the country and abroad working education and parenting plans. The idea in areas such as custody, access/visitation, and prevention of parental kidnapping. was to determine whether a small amount The Directory, an invaluable networking tool, is available in hardcopy or disc for of assistance to divorcing parents, mainly $12 for CRC members, and $15 for non-members. CRC thanks Paul Robinson and fathers, would produce more satisfaction Ed Mudrak for their hard work in updating this Directory. The hardcopy is up- with the court system, more child and dated once a year; the disc is updated frequently. Order from CRC and specify parent time together, and more child which version you wanthardcopy or disc. support compliance. Page 8 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 33 On the Courts Alternating Custody Payments to Adult uted by the ex-husband did not affect Struck Down Child the father's statutory obligation to sup- A trial court judge should not have The Michigan Court of Appeals onport his child. The court also said that ordered that divorcing parents alternateMay 8 cleared the way for a 22 year-oldthe ex-husband could not seek full re- physical and legal custody of their threewoman to obtain 19 years of unpaid childpayment of that support from either the sons six times a year, the Wyoming Su-support payments from her father. Afather of the child, because the ex-hus- preme Court held March 20. The Su-lower court had recognized the woman'sband had never challenged the divorce preme Court said that the children livedright to get child support from the fa-decree's declaration that the girl with the mother, and the mother hadther, but said she was entitled to support(Jeanne), now age 20, was "a child of been the primary caretaker during theonly for the period between the filing ofthe marriage." marriage. Arrangements that requiredher complaint, when she reached 18, and'Tedford v. Gregory, MN CTApp., No. the children to change primary residence her attainment of the age of 19 1/2, when 18221, 3/26/98, released 5/14/981 several times during the school year cre-state law says child support must end. ated problems, the court said. The courtThe Appeals Court said it mad no sense Relocation in Joint added that it rejected "the indiscriminatefor the state to recognize a cause of ac- Custody Situation resolution of custodial disputes via math- tion for a child against her parent for A mother's request to relocate to ematical equity." support, permit a lawsuit to be instituteda distant state with her nine year old (Reavis v. Reavis, Wyo SupCt, No. 97-after the child turned 18, but then limitdaughter must be denied, the New York 209, 3/20/981 the child support award to a brief period Family Court, Monroe County, has de- after the age of 18. (A United Press In-cided. The mother and the father shared Relocation Denied in ternational report of the case states thatcustody equally. The mother's new hus- Sole Custody Situation the parents were not married, and that aband decided to move to South Caro- A mother's move from Pennsyl-judge found in 1976 that the mother'slina, and the mother had filed for modi- vania to South Carolina was not in theclaim for child support could not be sus- fication of the divorce decree, request- child's best interests, the Pennsylvaniatained, because there was no clear evi-ing primary residential custody and per- Superior Court said April 8, agreeingdence of paternity. A more recent DNAmission to relocate with the child. The with a trial court's decision. Althoughtest had established that the man in ques-court said that previous relocation cases the mother's job as a nursing instructortion was the father.) had involved children who primarily at a local college had been eliminated,'Phinisee v. Rogers, Mich CtApp, No.resided with one parent, and this case and she found a similar job in South 190353, 5/8/981 should be viewed essentially as a request Carolina, the Superior Court said, the for change of custody. The father was father's immediate family and most of Child Support Payments better able to nurture the child and to the mother's family resided in Pennsyl- by Non-Father promote her continued relationship with vania. The mother made no attempt to A man now determined to be thethe mother, and the child should remain seek employment in Pennsylvania, thefather of an adult woman must pay ret-in her present school and community, court noted. In addition, the mother hadroactive support, even though thethe court said. The court awarded pri- hindered the father's visitation with themother's ex-husband had been payingmary residential custody to the father, child. child support since 1975, the Newwith liberal visitation for the mother. [Baldwin v. Baldwin, Pa SupCt., No.Mexico court of Appeals has decided.[Sara P. v. Richard T., NY FamCt 1662 hits. 1997, 4/8/981 The court said that the support contrib-MonroeCty, NYIJ 3/13/981

The above cases were summarized from Family Law Reporter. They appear here by permission of The Bureau of National Affairs, Inc., publisher of Family Law Reporter. New York Dad Can Take Tot A landmark legal ruling by ain New York City. The child, Nancydenied Carroll access to the baby. "His- Canadian judge has allowed an Ameri-Mae, who lives with her mother in Ot-torically, fathers had little right to young can father the extraordinary "liberal"tawa, will travel with her father to thechildren. With this ruling, that bias is right to take his 13-month-old daughterUnited States for one month in the sum-gone," said Carroll. Judge McKinnon to the U.S. during his visitation. So re-mer and one week in the Fall, Winteralso ordered Nancy's birth certificate, ports the Ottawa (Ontario) Sun, July 5,and Spring. Justice Colin McKinnonwhich had been left blank at birth, be 1998. The father, David Carroll, livesruled that the mother had previouslyamended so as to list Carroll as the natural father. Summer/Fall 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 9 34 States Encouraged to Set `Reasonable' Child Support Awards A new federal law comes one stepClinton signed in June, 1998, states thatmonthly payments of $801 (the $800 closer to a fairer way of setting financial the incentive payments for financial childthat was ordered, plus one dollar), but child support awards in the states thansupport are tied to the amount actuallythey had no incentive to negotiate an has been done in the past. collected. award of $801 in such a case, because In the past, federal "incentive" pay- "This means that the states arethat would mean lower incentive payments, which amount to millions of fed-encouraged to set more realistic awards,ments than if they collected $1,400. eral dollars, were paid to states whichbased on what they can actually collect. "Many times, the $1,400 would go set and collected on the highest financialThis will cut down on impossibly highuncollected, but the states kept trying child support awards possible. Even ifarrearages that are not based on aanyway," said Kaiser. "There was just the orders were set at an unrealisticallyparent's ability to pay," said Teresa Kai-no incentive not to!" high level, such that a parent could notser, former head of Missouri's child sup- Under the new law, the states will afford to pay the support award plusport office. receive incentive payments not just for arrearages, a state would get a higher New Incentive Plan collections, but cases under which there amount of "incentive" payment from the Kaiser testified in favor of the newis collection of even a small amount. federal government if they collected. incentive plan at a Congressional hear- The states will have an incentive States also had a "disincentive" toing last year. She represented a group ofto collect the $801 in the above example, modify orders downward (if a parentchild support directors from around theor some other realistic, affordable became unemployed, underemployed orcountry which had been working on aamount. sick), even though federal law (the 1988new incentive plan for several years to The Bradley amendment (passed Family Support Act) required downwardrecommend to the federal child supportby Congress in the 1980's without any modification procedures in all states. Theoffice and to Congress. hearings), prohibits retroactive modifica- "disincentive" was the loss of federal The new incentive plans meanstion of child support awards. dollars if the support order was lowered.that states are rewarded not just on the But the Bradley amendment never As to arrearages, states also had abasis of the amount collected, but forprohibited negotiating the weekly or disincentive to negotiate flexible arrear-cases with collections of a small amount. monthly amount that was to be paid. age payment schedules that were within Consider a parent with $12,000 inThus, some child support directors have a parent's budget because, again, statesarrears, who is ordered to pay $800 a been regularly collecting, say, $801 from wanted to collect the maximum possiblemonth. Laws in most states state thatparents in the above situation, because in order to qualify for more federal dol-the maximum you can collect for debt isthis was all they could afford to pay. lars. The more that could be collected50 percent of the person's pay. If 50 per- Most child support directors, how- under the highest possible award, even ifcent of the parent's pay was $1,400, statesever, tried to get the $1,400 a month, or the parent had to borrow to pay it, fol-would try to collect the entire $1,400 as close to as they could, even if it caused lowing unemployment, underemploy-each month, even though it might nothardship or meant putting a parent on a ment, or sickness, the more incentiveleave the parent money to pay other"Most Wanted" list for child support payments to the states. debts, living expenses, and money toarrearages. Many states have received incen-spend directly on the child when the "We had to get the law changed, tive payments which amounted to morechild was with that parent. so that all the states would have the new than their costs of collections, which the The states had the authority un-incentive system," said Kaiser. states have placed in their general trea-der federal law to negotiate indefinite sury, to be used for roads, bridges, or whatever purpose the state chose. That is, the reimbursements were not necessarily applied to children or the child 1999 Conference CRC will soon issue a call for papers for presentation at the 12th national CRC support system. After considering different ap- conference to be held in October 1999 in the Washington, D.C., area. Topics are expected to include: the effects of welfare reform on the 2-parent family, proaches, the federal office of child support enforcement, in concert with sev- the relationship between family structure and children's well-being, the effects of parental deprivation on children and society; the current state of move- eral child support directors across the country, proposed to Congress a new away cases; whether the "best interest" concept should be replaced, and if so, by what?, and the status of parenting, mediation, and divorce education. For measurement test. The test, which was adopted as information, contact Michael Ewing, 757-543-5993. part of H.R. 3130, which President

Page 10 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 35 5,600,000 Children Have Access to 0 Non-Custodial Parent Interfered With In the past, the Children's Rightssharing of time between two parents onin 25% to 50% of all cases. CRC used a Council has estimated that 6,600,000a year-round basis. This figure hasmiddle figure of 37%. Using 37% of children have difficulty in obtaining ac-doubled since 1990, when only about 10 18,000,000 children of divorce, we ar- cess to their non-custodial parents. Aspercent of children were estimated to berived at the number 6,600,000. child and family advocates around thein equal shared parenting situations. However, we observe that other country know, legislatures and the courts "Frankly, these figures of equalresearchers are using numbers of be- do little to encourage active parenting forshared parenting were higher than wetween 25% to 40% for access interfer- the 1 million of children affected by di-anticipated," said Kuhn, "and these fig-ence. CRC has essentially split the dif- vorce each year. Based on new estimatesures do not reflect situations in whichference to arrive at an estimated figure by CRC evaluator of research Richardthere is less than a 50/50 split of time."of 32 percent. Kuhn, we now estimate that almostJoint custody is generally defined as at "The work that CRC and others 5,600,000 children have difficulty in ob-least a third of the time on a year-roundhave been doing around the country taining access to their non-custodial par-basis with a parent. 50/50 sharedsince CRC was formed in 1985 has con- ents. parenting is substantially more than that.tributed to an improvement in the lives CRC has revised the figure down2. Other Researchers Haveof many children," said CRC President from 6,600,000 to almost 5,600,000 for Weighed In David L. Levy. "Yet we get calls and let- the following reasons: In the past, CRC reviewed litera-ters every day from distraught parents 1. Data Findings Include Sharedture, including Wallerstein and Kelly'sand grandparents who have trouble get- Parenting book entitled Surviving the Break-up, thatting to see their children. Clearly, a lot of Based on data from the U.S. Cen-said there was interference with accesswork remains to be done." sus Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics, approximately 20 per-Now, as in the past, CRC provides a state-by-state breakdown, based on popula- cent of children of divorced families aretion, of the estimated number of children whose access/ visitation to a non-custo- in equal shared parenting situations. dial parent is interfered with by a custodial parent. Equal shared parenting means that there is approximately 50/50 percentState Number of ChildrenState Number of Children Alabama 97,396 Montana 16,702 Alaska 13,232 Nebraska 26,213 Help Us Help Youl Arizona 93,303 Nevada 33,807 Arkansas 51,437 New Hampshire 21,231 CRC needs equipment: California 719,243 New Jersey 142,585 *computers Colorado 65,385 New Mexico 46,915 * typewriters Connecticut 64,730 New York 439,160 *photocopy machines Delaware 16,745 North Carolina 154,464 *other office equipment DistrictofColumbia 20,509 North Dakota 9,471 CRC needs volunteers to: Florida 320,399 Ohio 231,017 *do filing Georgia 164,475 Oklahoma 68,702 *be Newsletter editor Hawaii 20,083 Oregon 63,056 *layout Newsletter Idaho 19,572 Pennsylvania 207,722 *answer the phone Illinois 265,853 Rhode Island 20,554 *work with celebrities Indiana 107,534 South Carolina 87,775 *work on the internet Iowa 49,375 South Dakota 13,376 * advocacy Kansas 47,177 Tennessee 115,504 * information Kentucky 69,511 Texas 408,267 *fund-raising Louisiana 126,997 Utah 29,650 *what else would you like to do? Maine 22,428 Vermont 10,523 Maryland 100,323 Virginia 127,283 Contact the national office or the chapter Massachusetts 115,347 Washington 112,071 nearest you to ask about their needs. Michigan 221,634 West Virginia 31,594 THANK YOU. Minnesota 93,376 Wisconsin 92,186 Mississippi 77,852 Wyoming 9,980 Missouri 108,748 Total 5,592,452

Summer/Fall 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 11 36 $2 Billion BillMay Only Cover Unwed Fathers The historic bill introduced in Con- thers, and hopes that funding for all fa- gress to provide $2 billion over the next thers will be provided at some point as five years to enhance fatherhood in the the bill is further debated in Congress. United States is expected to be amended. The bill would provide grants to states The original version of the "Fathers "to encourage fathers to become better Count Act of 1998" provided that up to parents." 20% of the funds could be spent on pro- The primary sponsors of the Bill grams to assist non-custodial parents, but Archer Shaw are Clay Shaw (R-FL) and Bill Archer the revised version will indicate that none (R-TX). of the funds would be used to help non-was decided to spend the $2 billion on The powerful House Ways and custodial parents. funding to encourage unwed fathers toMeans Committee is headed by Archer. All the funds would have to be usedget married and to obtain jobs, but toThe Human Resources Subcommittee for programs for unmarried fathers. delete the provisions to assist divorcedof that committee is headed by Shaw. The compromise came about be-fathers. All welfare reform and child support leg- cause some conservative House Repub- The bill is not expected to becomeislation emanate from the subcommit- licans, as well as Dr. James Dobson, headlaw this year. And it is not certain whethertee. of Focus on the Family, and Gary Bauer,the amendment to exclude funding for You may wish to write to Chairmen Ar- president of the Family Research Coun-programs to assist children and their di-cher and Shaw, as well as to your own cil, opposed federal spending on newvorced fathers will be made this Fall, orRepresentative, stating the following: programs. when the bill is reintroduced when theChairman Clay Shaw In the compromise worked outnew Congress convenes in January. U.S. House of Representatives with conservative House Republicans, it CRC supports this bill, but believes Washington, D.C. 20515 it is wrong to establish 2 classes of fa- (or) Chairman Bill Archer Message from President Clinton U.S. House of Representatives "I commend the members of the Children's Rights Council...and I thank you for Washington, D.C. 20515 putting the needs of our children first," President Clinton said in a message to CRC's 11th national conference, October 12, 1997. Dear Mr. Chairman: The message is reproduced below. We appreciate and support your goal of providing $2 billion in programs THE WHITE HOUSE, to assist children and fathers. Divorced WASHINGTON fathers paid more than half of the $13.5 October 22, 1997 billion in financial child support paid last I am delighted to send warm greetings to everyone gathered in Arlington, Vir- year. They, as well as unwed fathers, ginia, for the 11th national conference of the Children's Rights Council.In every child deserve your support. There should not there is hidden potential waiting to be discovered. Now more than ever, as we ap- be 2 classes of fathers. Please make cer- proach the dawn of a new millennium, all of usparents and families, schools, churches, tain that the $2 billion fatherhood bill and community organizationshave a responsibility to provide the inspiration and will assist children, whether their parents direction needed to nurture this potential. It is our inherent duty to help our young are unwed or divorced! Thank you. people develop self esteem, teach them values, encourage and guide them, and instill in them the desire to gain the knowledge they need to become productive citizens.We live Sincerely yours, in an age of possibility, opportunity, and high hopes. And as we plan for the challenges ahead, we must reclaim our national commitment to excellence in education, teach our children to harness the power of new technologies, protect their health, and strengthen America's families. Embracing these challenges with conviction and determination, we FAMILY FACTS will reclaim the future for all of America's children, whose talents and contributions Photocopy and distribute the "Family Facts" will help make our world a healthier, more loving, and peaceful place in which to live. on the next page! Use as hand-outs when I commend the members of the Children's Rights Council for your active involvement visiting the Legislature, disseminating informa- in this endeavor and I thank you for your putting the needs of our children first tion to the courts or the media, or as a re- Hillary joins me in sending best wishes for a successful and productive confer- source for testimony and Letters to the Edi- ence. tor. "Family Facts" is a regular feature of this newsletter. Send us your verified facts (with actual copies, sources and dates) to "Family 7-41:AA eija,fat-tx)_, Facts," CRC.

Page 12 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 Need Teen-AgersSay they Joint Custody Child Support Beneficialeven for Emotional for wantingspending money ParentsWho do Although teen-agersare known to drive, not Choose Joint s soon asthey are eligible Custody their parents' cars "as- and keys to list money or cars asany of the A new study by JudithSeltzer, Ph.D., rs do not Wisconsin-Madison, University of those same teen-age adulthood. indicates positive sets" they need toreach successful custody even effects for joint legal child support.Rather, "emotional" among parents who hadnot chosen joint Nor do theirlist financial according to a 1995book custody. issues are whatthey need, child support Seltzer useddata from the of 273,000 youths. National Surveyof based on a study they need to suc- Families and Households(NSFH), that the 273,000teens said a survey of morethan The 30 assets internal needs. 13,000 familiesthat collected data in the book intoexternal and in two waves,1987- ceed are divided 1988 and 1992-1994.Because the NSFH The externalneeds are: on the quality of family included data family home relationships, itwas possible to 1. Warm, caring study the effectsof joint legal parents custody while controlling 2. Approachable for pre-separationfamily relationships. 3. Communicativeparents Says Seltzer: "Controlling approachable adults for the qualityof family 4. Other relationships beforeseparation and socioeconomic 5. Othercommunicative adults tus, fathers with joint sta- school legal custodysee their children 6. Parentalinvolvement in frequently, have more more overnight visits,and pay more child 7. Positiveschool climate support than fathers in families inwhich the mothers 8. Parentalstandards have sole legalcustody. 9. Parentaldiscipline Remarkably, Seltzer found that the levelof conflict 10. Parentalmonitoring before separationhad no impact away-from-homesocializing on the prospects ofpar- 11. Limits on ents obtaining jointlegal custody influence at divorce. Shesays, 12. Positive peer "My findings showthat neither conflict 13. Music lessons piness before nor marital hap- separation affect thelikelihood that 14. Organizedextracurricular activities ents will acquire joint par- legal custodyat divorce." 15. Communityactivities. The fact that community children benefitted 16. Involvementwith a faith custody even after from joint legal needs are: taking account ofthe quality of family The internal relationships andeconomic resources 17. Desire toachieve provides further before separation evidence that thepositive effects 18. Desire toadvanceeducationally simply the result are not grades of more cooperativeparents choosing 19. Desire forabove-average homework a week joint custody. to do 6-plushours of 20. Self-discipline Seltzer'sreport is entitled: help people 21. Desire to Fathers' by Law:Effects of joint 22. Global concern Legal Custodyon Nonresident FathersInvolvement with 23. Empathy The report Children can be obtained throughthe internet at: 24. Sexualrestraint http://ssc.wisc.edu/cde/nsfhwp/home.htm, 25. Assertivenessskills or from the Center for skills Demography andEcology, 26. Decision-making University of Wisconsin-Madison, skills 4412 Social Science 27. Friendship-making Bldg, 1180 ObservatoryDrive, Madison, WI 28. Planningskills 53706-1393. 29. Self-esteem 30 Hope. Proven,Practical Ways to What Kids Needto Succeed: L Benson, $5.99, byjudyGalbraith and Peter Raise Good Kids, Suite 616, Minneapo- Publishing, 400 FirstAvenue N, Free Spirit 1-800-735-7323 or612/338-2068. lis, MN 55401-1724,phone

From Volume 13, Number 2, Summer/Fall 1998, Speak Out ibr Children, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, 300 "I" Witeet N.E. . Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 44. phone [202) 547 -6227 3B chi4Reivi5RiGMs 1070 (CRC) Number 1513 In the National Combined Federal Campaign

We are a member of the Children's Charities of America (CCA). Look forCRC's listing in the index of the CHILDREN'SCFC Brochure, then turn to the page given for CCA's members. Weare number 1513. CHARITIES OF AMERICA YOU MUST DESIGNATE 1513 FOR CRC TO RECEIVEFUNDS.

The Children's Rights Council works to assure that children of separation anddivorce obtain as much emotional and financial support as children of intact marriages.

Some of CRC's accomplishments:

credited with being the organization that convinced Congress, for the first time in history,to provide funds for access/visitation demonstration programs in 1988;

the results of the above 1996 grants were so positive that in the 1996 Welfare ReformLaw, Congress provided $10 million a year for all 50 states and jurisdictionsto provide access/visitation programs;

Publicized findings in 1998 that the states with the highestamount of joint physical custody in 1989-1990, had the lowest divorce rates in the subsequent years 1991-1995;

Publicized findings that children with two parents generally have fewer problems withdrugs and crimes than children with only one parent.Obtained changes in attitudes and laws in order to encouragea child's bonding to two parents and extended family;

Promoted the school based "Banana Splits" program to help children of separation and divorcechannel the transition in their lives into stronger academic achievement;

Award-winner for assisting a county outside Washington D.C. (Prince George's, MD) inhiring staff to improve bonding between children and their non-custodial parents;

Provided assistance to parents and professionalson how to get through the divorce process in the most peaceful, problem-free way, so as to take the stress out of divorce. Money that would bespent on battling between parents is available for the children.

CRC only receives funds thatyou actually designate! DESIGNATE NUMBER 1513 IN THE COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN. If The Children's Rights Council is a national non-profit organization at 300 "I" St., NE #401, Washington,D.C. 20002- 4389. Phone: 202/547-6227 Fax: 202/546-4272. See our web site at http://www.vix.com/crc/ Toobtain a copy of our Catalog of Resources, Directory of Parenting Organizations, Affiliation Book, Annual Report, or latest audit, write or call CRC. Thank you.

All artwork trademarked or trademark pending, CRC PLEASE COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST IN FEDERAL OFFICES, POST OFFICES, MILITARYBASES 39 chiLwoRiGks 11100 IN UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC)

CRC works to strengthen families through education and advocacy. We favor family formation and family preservation, but if families break up, or are never formed, we work to assure a child the frequent and continuing contact with two parents and extended family the child would normally have during marriage. Our motto is "The Best Parent is Both Parents." ,A* For the child's benefit, CRC favors parenting education before marriage, during marriage, and in the event of separation. We work to demilitarize divorce between parents who are involved in marital disputes, substituting mediation for the adversarial process, and providing for emotional and financial child support. We also favor school-based programs for children at risk.

There are several ways you can contribute to the Children's Rights Council

through the Combined Federal Campaign if you work for the federal government at any federal office, post office, or military base. CRC is listed as Number 1513 (the same number as last year) in the Children's Charities of America listing;

in the Washington, D.C. and San Francisco Bay Area United Way campaigns, where we are also listed as Number 1513

if you wish to contribute to CRC through a United Way where we are not listed, please ask your employer if you can designate (write in) the Children's Rights Council

in corporate campaigns, including AARP, CNA Insurance, Lotus Development Corp., KPMG

if you wish to contribute directly to CRC, write to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Contributions accepted on Visa, MC, or AMEX credit cards. Visit the Children's Rights Council on the Website:http://www.vix.corn/crc/ All contributions are tax-deductible CHILDREN FIRST! THANK YOU! ho .join, or For more information, call (202) 547-6227

300 "I" Street N.E. Suite 401Washington, D.C. 20002 Telephone (202) 547-6227 Fax (202) 546-4CRC (4272) COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST FOR UNITED WAY WORKPLAagAND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS 40 Children's Rights Council 1.9.98CATALOG OF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANY BOOKSDISCOUNTED! BOOKS FOR KIDS The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie Engel, 1992. How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Advice to Kids, Planning and action guide with 55 formulas to help you in four key deci- by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read one-of-a-kind guide for young sion areas:financial, legal, practical, and emotional. people and their parents as they reshape their lives post-divorce. SB-2006 *Discount Price $7.00 SB-112 *Discount Price $4.00

Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps children Fatherless America, Confronting Our Most Ur- recognize that it is appropriate to have negative feelings about divorce and gent Social Problem, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. to express those feelings. Why civilized societies need to uphold the idea of father- FMIEB SB-2012 *Discount Price $2.00 AMERICA hood. HB-236 *Discount Price $24.00 Questions from Dad, by Dwight Twilley, 1994. An effectiveway to develop better relationships between children and their parents. For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. HB-240 *Discount Price $7.00 Discusses how to share your children with your ex-spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, 1994. AHB-216 *Discount Price $9.00 children's book explaining how two families can be better than one. SB-307 $12.00The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, 1994. An outstanding book with a powerful message: while divorce is not 'good,' It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by Vicki there is a path to a 'good divorce' where parents cooperate fully for the Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help children under- sake of their children. stand divorce and sends a good message. HB-2001 $23.00 SB-308 $5.99 Helping Your Children through Divorce,Florence Bienenfeld, The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Ph.D.,1995. A resource book depicting the impact of divorce on Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate honest and open communication between children. adults and children at the traumatic time of separation and divorce. 0 and SB-201A * Discount Price $7.00 A for kids. SB-2010 *Discount Price $6.00A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing BOOKS FOR PARENTS patterns in their lives. 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co-parents SB-225 *Discount Price $8.00 and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, and Step-family situations. The Joint Custody Handbook, by Miriam Cohen, 1991. A 1991 SB-113 $9.95 update of one of the classic books on joint custody. Contains sample parenting agreements. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook, by Mary Hirschfeld, HB-213 $10.95$ 1992.Visualization exercises help readers root our destructive feelings left over from their childhood. Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Successful Co- SB-2009 *Discount Price $5.00 Parenting. A blend of the author's own research, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal information. Discipline That Works, by Thomas Gordon, 1995. Dr. Gordon, SB-223A *Discount Price $10.00 founder of P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) shows ways to empower HB-223B *Discount Price $18.00 children to become self-reliant. SB-117 *Discount Price $4.00 Loving and Listening, by Melinda Blau, 1996. A Parent's Book of Daily Inspirations for Rebuilding the Family Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. Warmly support- After Divorce ive and reassuring, this comprehensive guide speaks to all divorced and SB-235 *Discount Price $10.00 divorcing parents. HB-204 *Discount Price $9.00 REVISED! Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., 1998. Mak- ing shared custody work: How parents can make two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages to this classic book! SB-202 $20.00 41 Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Resolve Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. Points our de- M. Gary Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is structive habits by both genders which, when realized, strengthen families based on the nationally renowned "Sandcastles" work- and relationships. shop. SB-246 Extra Low Price $3 .00 HB-284 $25.00

Parent vs. Parent, by Stephen Herman, 1990. Practical Joint Custody: An Alternative for Divorcing Families, by information on how to avoid "winning" and "losing" by protecting Mel Morgenbesser and Nadine Nehls, 1981. A guidebook for par- everyone's best interests. ents about summer camp and education through travel. HB-209 *Discount Price $9.00 HB-285 Reduced price $5.00

Putting Kids First, by Michael Oddenino. A must read for caring BOOKS FOR STEPARENTS parents and professionals, by CRC's General Counsel.Includes a How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. and John children's bill of rights. Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the Stepfamily Association SB-248 $9.95 of America answer questions and give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. HB-301 $13.95 Based on ten year longitudinal study of the effects of divorce on adults and children. Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/New Rules, by Claire Berman, HB-22 *Discount Price $8.00 1986. Former president of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical help and insights. Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Parents Cope SB-304 $7.95 with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., SIEPFAMIL1 SlEPPINIC 1980. A classic that is still valid in discussing the problems of children AMFAI) Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Mala Burt being raised by single parents. for the Stepfamily Association of America. SB-220 * Discount Price $10.00 SB-303 $9.95

Cam iralSuCCESSitA RUIN !PIG PLAN NEW! Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, byk D_ r. BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS A. Jayne Major. Nationally acclaimed author of Grandparenting-Understanding Today's Children, by David "Breaththrough Parenting" and "Winning the Custody Elkind, Ph.D. Offers advice to help grandparents deal with problems War Without Casualties" that occur during their grandchild's development. 111111111111=Bill SB-280 $24.95 SB-392 $12.95

3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, 1994. A BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS 3-step program that can make your family life happier, less stressful, and Another Way Home, by John Thornlike, 1996. A burning, beau- more rewarding. tiful memoire. HB-281 $19.50 HB *Discount Price $10.00

Familyhood:Nurturing the Values that Matter, by Dr. Lee At My Father's Wedding: Reclaiming our True Masculin- Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communicating values. ity, by John Lee, 1991. A ground-breaking work about the Father HB-282 $21.00 Wound and the pain a child can bear because of it. HB-242 Extra Low Price $2.00 The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, Surviving Divorce-Women's Resources After Separation, by Mavis Maclean, 1991. Women coping with earnings, maintenance the CRC book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk and welfare in the U.S., France, and Great Britain. copies (10 or more) for only $4 a copy, resell the HB-819 *Discount Price $5.00 copies for the list price of $10 each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Individual copies The Liberated Man, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Reveals what every will continue to be available from CRC for $10 each, woman needs to know about men and what every man needs to know plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last.If you about himself. would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David L. SB-244 *Discount Price $3.00 Levy, just state to whom you would like it autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their names). SB-282 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 Individual copies $10.00 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 42

.3. sr Man Enough, by Frank Pittman, 1993. Explores the changing relation- LEGAL ISSUES ships between fathers and sons, and mothers and sons. The Custody Revolution, by Richard Warshak, 1992. The Father HB-239 *Discount Price $11.00 Factor and the Motherhood Mystique. HB-702 *Discount Price $15.00 The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Rock solid and authentic decimation of the myth of male advantage ...sweeps aside ste- The Fathers Emergency Guide to Divorce/Custody Battle, A reotyped assumptions to uncover a deeper truth. Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists and SB-245 *Discount Price $6.00 Social Workers in the Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights of Williams Dawes, Esq., 1997. A powerful new book Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, 1986. whose title says its all. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights and desires. SB-247 $15.00 SB-243 *Discount Price $3.00

KaherS A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, 1997. A discussion ofa IlightS Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-selling book for divorced father's struggle with the child custody industry. fathers who want to maintain contact with their children. HB-762 $21.00 HB-640 $23.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery L. Greif, The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for mental health and 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, housework, a job, legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authoritative an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) HB-642 $19.95 SB-1004 $30.00

The Divorced Parent:Success Strategies for Raising Your When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca Hegar, 1993. Children After Separation, by Stephanie Marston, 1994. Pro- This book captures the experiences of parents searching for their children vides practical advice and specific tools for raising well-adjusted children. and abductors who have taken them; also makes public policy recommen- HB-643 $21.00 dations. HB-901 $22.95 Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wise notes froma new dad in the real world. CHILD ABUSE HB-644 $22.00$ Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong, 1996. False Accusations of Child Abuse: A Roadmap for survivors which helps to Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A collection of answer their questions. stories on being a man at midlife in America, with introduction by Robert SB-2014 $15.95 Fulghum. HB-645 $21.95 Children Held Hostage: Dealing with programmed and brainwashed ChildS children, by Stanley Clawar, Ph.D. and Brynne Rivlin, M.M.S., 1991. custodyChild Custody Made Simple, by Webster Watnik, Published by the ABAs Section for Family Law, this book discusses a 12- hithg21961' 1997. Answers all your questions about child custody and year study of programming and brainwashing during custody battles. . child support for a single parent. SBA 003 $45.00 '"'""Vret SB-641 $21.95 IRDSITIt WATNIS Protocols for Sex Abuse Evaluations, by Richard Gardner, M.D., The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Card, 1996. A 1995. Presents a new series of criteria and interview sequences to help plan for managing your money when you are the only one your family can examiners involvedin sex abuse evaluations. count on. HB-1007 $39.95 SB-646 $14.95 Recognizing Child Abuse and Combating Child Abuse, A MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION comprehensive guide to recognizing, preventing, and handling child abuse Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Divorce, by Lois and neglect, by a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the fundamental skills of negotiation con- (both books by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D.) flict resolution and mediation, for everyone's good. SB-1006 * Discount Price $12.00 SB-605A *Discount Price $9.00 HB-1008 *Discount Price $20.00

Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, Arbitration The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can Cost and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1989. In this update, Children's Lives, by Richard Gelles 1996. A convincing and dra- Gardner proposes a three-phase system to remove child custody evalua- matic book about the flaws of the child welfare system. tions from courtroom litigation. HB-1022 $23.00 HB-603 $35.00 Suggestions of Abuse, by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D. 1994. A book AUDIOTAPES about true and false memories of childhood sexual trauma. By noted author Warren Farrell HB-1023 $22.00Why Men Are the Way They Are A-310 $ 8.00 True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse, by Richard A. Gardner,1992. A guide for legal and mental Understanding Each Other (set of two tapes) health professionals. A-311 $ 8.00 HB-1024 $45.00 The Myth of Male Power VIDEOS A-312 $ 8.00 Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own experience of Complete set of these 3 Warren Farrell tapes going through their parents' divorce. A CRC-award winning A-113 $20.00 video prepared by CRC's National Parent Education Director. V-902 $25.00 REPORTS UPDATED 1997, Interferenceerence with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. The Sensible Approach To Divorce, prepared by Wyandotte County, Not a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. Arguments and Kansas officials. A CRC-award winning program in Kansas that shows case citations "The tort, as a charge against one person for invading the parents how they can both be fully involved in children's lives post-di- rights of another, is clearly reasonable as the interference with visitation is vorce. just thatone person taking something from another that he has no right to V-903 $15.00 by law. R116 $10.00 Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Association of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co- Challenging the Washington, D.C. Child Support Guidelines, parenting in the event of divorce. Willing challenge filed by CRC and the Greater Washington Area Chapter $20.00 V-904 of the National Women's Bar Association attacking the substance and procedure for the adoption of the D.C. guidelines. The Family After Divorce: Restoring the Family Fabric, by LB-104 $10.00 Phoebe Snover Prosky, MSW. (25.00). The program described in this video has helped many children of divorce. V-905 $15.00 Help Support CRC! Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Parental Alien- Buy 25 Bumper Stickers for $20. ation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, M.D. An in- Give Them to Your Friends! depth discussion of ways that parents can alienate the child against the other parent. Spread the Message! V-906 $25.00 Put a bumper sticker on your car! r Order Form Title MC, VISA, AMEX Title Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Total enclosed Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP: .1 44 Osor r 011P The bills described below have been introducedor passed in the current session of Congress. H.R. refers to the House of Representatives, S. refers to the Senate. The phone number of the committee handling the bill is provided below;you may call to check on the status of legislation, or express your views. It iseven more important to let your own Representative and Senator know your views. The capital switchboard, which can connect you with the offices of all members of Congress and committees, is (202) CA4-3121 (224-3121). This is a 24-hour switchboard thatcan provide you night and day with names, addresses, and direct phone numbers of all members of Congress. During normal weekday business hours, the switchboard can connect you with any Congressional office on Capitol Hill. To save on expenses, you can contact the Congressmembers' local branch office in your district. BETTER YET, WRITE A LETTER AS DESCRIBED BELOW.

On June 24, 1998, President demonstration projects to establish mini- Clinton signed into law H.R. 2925, the Write to Congress!' mum financial child support payments. "Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act of Referred to Finance Committee (202) 1997." which had been passed by Con- Write to House members at: 224-4515. Urge your House member or gress earlier in June. Representative Senator to offer a "balancing amend- The bill, introduced by Rep. Steny (name of your Representative) ment" to establish minimum access/visi- Hoyer (D-MD) and Rep. Henry Hyde House of Representatives tation/parenting time of at least a third (R-IL), provides a felony violation for an Washington, D.C. 20515 of the time on a year-round basis, be- unpaid child support obligation "to a Write to Senators at: cause the Census Bureau says that par- child who resides in another state." Senator (name of your Senator) ents with at least of the third of the time The felony appears to apply even U.S. Senate (joint physical custody) with their chil- if the custodial parent is the one who Washington, D.C. 20510 dren pay up to twice as much in finan- makes the move with the child to an-ents Punishment Act, there ought to becial child support as parents with no ac- other state, and kicks in if the obligation the same federal penalty," said Aaroncess to their children. is more than $5,000 owed for more thanWashburn, one of the CRC interns who H.R. 869, introduced by Rep. 1 year, or more than $10,000 owed forworked on legislation at CRC during theChristopher Cox (D-CA), to require a more than 2 years. summer of 1998. parent who is delinquent in financial child A previous law, the Child Support On a positive noteat his press-support to include his unpaid obligation Recovery Act of 1992 made it a federalconference when signing the Deadbeatin gross income and to allow custodial crime to wilfully fail to pay support for aparents Punishment Act, Presidentparents a bad debt deduction for unpaid child living in another state, but the newClinton said many positive things aboutfinancial child support payments. Re- act stiffens the penalties for violation.fathers and their roles in children lives. ferred to Human Resources Subcommit- CRC had hoped that some members of S. 97, introduced by Sen. Johntee of House Ways and Means, phone Congress would offer a "balancingKerry (D-MA), to amend the Internal (202) 244-4515. Urge your House mem- amendment" to provide similar penaltiesRevenue Code to require the IRS to col-ber or Senator to offer a "balancing for failure to honor court-ordered visita-lect financial child support through wageamendment" to include unpaid visitation tion. However, the bill passed both thewithholding and to eliminate State en-penalty in gross income and to allow non- House and the Senate without such aforcement of financial child support ob-custodial parents a bad debt collection mandate. ligations other than medical support ob-for unpaid visitation fines or penalties. CRC is asking Congress for aligations. Referred to the Senate Finance H.R. 399, introduced by Rep. "technical correction" or a new bill thatCommittee, (202) 224-4515. Similar toMichael Bilirakis (R-FL) to prohibit the would offer a balancing provision. H.R. 2189, introduced by Rep. Henryprovision of financial assistance by the "There may be only a few judgesHyde (R-IL), referred to Human Re-Federal Government to any person who in the country who would ever assess asources Subcommittee of House Waysis more than 60 days delinquent in the fine for a parent who violates court-or-and Means (202) 224-4515. Urge yourpayment of any financial child support dered access, but if it happens, and it isHouse member or Senator to offer aobligation. A hearing was held on this an interstate case, like the Deadbeat Par-"balancing amendment" to provide IRS bill in November, 1997, by the Commit- enforcement of any financial penalties for tee on Government Reform and Over- access denial that any state may impose, sight (202) 225-5074. Write your House such as fines or court costs for missed member or Senator recommending "bal- Super Blue Green Algae access, for the same reason as stated inancing" this bill with a provision prohib- Increase Your Energy Level! the note to H.R. 2925 above. iting the same assistance to anyone 60 For free information, call S. 1075, introduced by Sen.days delinquent in honoring a court's ac- 1-800-659-8055 ext.11101 Christopher Dodd (D-CT), to providecess/visitation order.

Page 20 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 45 Book Reviews It's Not Your Fault, Working Fathers KoKo Bear byJames A. Levine and Todd L. Pittinsky By Vicki Lansky 165 pages, hardback, 34 pages, softback, published by Addison Wesley Longman, Inc. $23. published by Book Peddlers, Reviewed by Serge Prengel Minnetonka, MN. $5.99. President, CRC of New York City This book features KoKo, the lov- The full title of this book is:equation. If we don't just think about our able unisex bear who doesn't like the di-"Working Fathers. New Strategies forimmediate problems, there's something vorce and doesn't want to have twoBalancing Work and Family". At firstvery encouraging about getting a clear homes. KoKo's experience will help chil-glance, it seems remote from the preoc-sense that there is a strong current to- dren ages 3-7 learn what divorce means,cupations of many of the readers of thisward changing patternsthat this involves how family life will change, and under-newsletter. It addresses a problem ofjug-not just the efforts of isolated fathers here stand that the divorce is not their fault. gling work and family those of us whoand there, but also women, and, perhaps This is "a read-together book fordon't see our kids would like to have! most importantly, corporations. parents and young children during di- So why am I suggesting you read When business gets involved in a vorce." this book? For one thing, it provides asocial trend, not only does it make it The book gives children a charac-larger context which I find very helpful easier in a practical way; it also makes it ter who shares their anxiety about divorceto view the problems of divorced fathers.more acceptable. and helps them understand that sad and This book is based on ten years of Regarding the part of this book that angry feelings are natural. It also letsresearch by The Fatherhood Project attalks about how fathers can increase their children know they are loved and will be the Families and Work Institute in Newconnection with their kids, there are two cared for by both parents. York City. The title "Working Fathers"ways we as divorced fathers can read it. The book is written for parents who reflects the study's dual focus on men's One is to focus on how much more both plan to stay involved in parentingchanging dynamics around work and fam- difficult, and sometimes impossible, it their children whether they have a soleily. The book points out how men's com-would be for us to follow some of these or joint custodial arrangement. Each page mitment to their family (especially to theirsuggestions. provides short practical tips for the par-role as a father) is now at least as impor- Personally, I was struck by some- ents. tant as their commitment to work andthing else - how similar the situation of The author encourages parents tocareer. many non-divorced fathers may be to let this book travel back and forth to each The book also cites surveys show-ours. Not because of their wives or the parent's home so children hear the sameing that a vast majority of Americancourts. In many cases, it's just "the pres- message from both mom and dad. adults believe men should be "equally re-sures from work". The book ends by saying that one sponsible" for taking care of children, In other words, there is a societal day KoKo's sad and mad feelings "are including infants. So far, so good. pressure that is reflected in the way many no longer very sad or very mad at all.... Difficulties Faced married working fathers see their role as "Yes, KoKo has two homes and What the book also points out isfathersthey perceive themselves as not two parents. that, while the difficulties faced by work-able to do the things they'd like to do "Yes, KoKo Bear's parents are di-ing mothers have been well-documentedwith their kids because of overwhelming vorced but KoKo Bear isn't divorced in the media, the challenges facing work-pressures beyond their control. from anyone. MaMa and PaPa anding fathers have largely remained invis- To these fathers, the book sug- KoKo Bear are all still a family...just aible. This is actually the point of the titlegests: "Change, don't blame the culture". family apart." of this book. "Working father" doesn'tThis piece of advice is given within the Vicki Lansky has sold more thanraise an eyebrow. But being a "workingcontext of a book that aims at changing 3 million copies of her 30 books onmother" is an admirable feat. the system. It is given by people who are parenting, including "Divorce Book for The book mentions the funny/sadactually doing something to change the Parents,"She is an advisor to thestory of a "test" showing how peoplesystem by converting corporations to new Children's Rights Council. The book ismen includedunderestimate how diffi-ways of dealing with working fathers. warmly illustrated by Jane Prince, who cult it is for fathers to juggle both work (Note:James Levine, the co-author has illustrated three other "KoKo" booksand parental roles. of the book, president of the Families to by Vicki LanskyKoko Bear's New Much of the book is devoted toWork Institute in New York City, is a Potty, The New Baby at Koko's House,strategies for balancing the work-familylongtime advisor to CRC). and Koko Bear's Big Earache.

Summer/Fall 1998 Speak Out For Children Page 21 46 TA,r):::)tundthe Countr Welfare Reform at Vermont Establishes realize Vermont wants them to be par- White House "Parentage" ents as well as fmancial child support pro- At a White House ceremony on Vermont officials have weighed in viders, Hogan indicated. welfare reform August 4, 1998, Presi-to Congress with a recommendation that CRC members in Vermont were dent Clinton announced that from nowthe term "parentage" be used around the instrumental in encouraging Vermont to on, low income two parent families willcountry, rather than "paternity." adopt such 3-part forms. be eligible for medicaid. Too often in the States generally only seek to estab- past, Clinton noted, only single parentslish "paternity" to obtain financial child Gail Sheehy Uses could obtain public housing, welfare,support compliance. But Vermont has `Deadbolted Dads' food stamps, and other government ben-pioneered the use of the word "parent- Term efits. One by one, he noted, low-incomeage" to make clear that parents have In a Fathers' Day article in the two-parent families are becoming eligiblemutual rights and responsibilities, forNew York Times on June 21, 1998, for such benefits. The idea, he said, is tochild support, custody, and access to thenoted national author Gail Sheehy used not discourage marriage for fear thatchild. a new phrase, "Deadbolted Dad". low-income parents will lose benefits. The Vermont forms do not state She said "The cliche is the Dead- CRC President David L. Levy waswhat amount of support, custody, orbeat Dad. The newer reality is the invited to the White House ceremonyaccess parents have, only that such ar-Deadbolted Dadlocked out of his where this announcement was made. rangements must be worked out. children's hearts after divorce... Following testimony by Vermont "Close to four million divorced fa- Grandparents VisitationChild Support DirectorJeff Cohen to the thers in the U.S. do pay child support. An article in the Washington PostCongressional Subcommittee on Human In many cases, these are men who have on August 9, 1998, told of several casesResources, House Ways and Meansfought for joint or full custody, and lost. in the Washington area where grandpar-Committee (phone 202-225-1025), ConEven when they demand more time with ents were fighting for time with theirHogan, Vermont's director of social ser-their children, they find that little atten- grandchildren in intact family situations. vices, wrote to the subcommittee thattion is paid to enforcing or honoring their In June, 1998, Virginia's highest"all states should adopt parentage forms."visitation rights." court ruled in favor of the right of par- In Vermont, parents have "Paren- A free copy of the article is avail- ents to block visitation by the grandpar-tal Rights and Responsibilities" (formerlyable from CRC for CRC members. Non- ents, unless life without the grandparentsknown as "custody") and "Parental-Childmembers, send $5 for postage and han- would cause "actual harm to the child'sContact" (formerly known as "visita- dling. health or welfare." tion"). CRC would only add that thousands But in Maryland, lawyers say grand- Vermont has the second highestof non-custodial mothers, as well as parents have a better chance to see theirrate of acknowledgements of parentage grandparents and other relatives, are also grandchildren.Thisisbecausein the U.S. by fathers (94 percent), at- "deadbolted" out of children's lives. Maryland's law states that judges cantributable in part to the fact that fathers award a grandparent visitation if it is in the best interest of the child, a lower stan- dard. Amicus Briefs CRC President David L. Levy was CRC recently filed two amicus curaie (Friend of the Court) briefs. They are: quoted in the article as saying u a brief filed in Montana supporting joint custody in a case that is on appeal in that "Too often, children do not have state. CRC argued that joint custody is in the best interest of the child unless proven enough adults in their lives who love otherwise. them. If people want to love them and u a brief filed in connection with a case against Icelandic Airlines in New York. want to take care of them, let them." Icelandic had allowed a custodial mother to flee the U.S. with her child, the briefargues, Several years ago, at the urging of even though it knew that a court had prohibited the child's move to another country. The the late Sonny Burmeister, who was case arises under the Hague Convention against international child abduction. CRC's Georgia coordinator, CRC polled There is no word yet of the disposition of either case on appeal. its chapters, and all the chapters Michael L. Oddenino, CRC's general counsel, writes CRC's amicus briefs. participting in the poll favored children's If your case is on appeal, and you would like CRC to consider writing an amicus right of access to grandparents, even in brief, contact CRC. CRC can not handle cases at the trial level, and we do not write the intact family situations. main appeal brief. An amicus brief is a supplemental brief, telling the court why thiscase is of significance not only to the parties in the case, but to other children and familiesas well. We generally need 30 to 60 days before the filing deadline.

Page 22 Speak Out For Children Summer/Fall 1998 . 47 Engel is New band Don Smith, Ph.D., clinical psy-Bruce likes to field questions about CRC Advisor to CRC chologist, is available for child custodyfrom individuals, as well as members of Margorie Engel, who became presi- evaluations. Don's number is 714 -939-other groups. dent of the Stepfamily Association of6678. Don and Leslee are both in Or- America (SAA) inange County, California, but can handle Intellectual Property January, 1998, iscases anywhere in the country. Protection CRC's newest advi- Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained sor. She replaces CRC Guideline trademark protection for the name and Judith Bauersfeld, the Available logo "Children's Rights Council" and the outgoing president of Copies of the model child supportname and logo for our newsletter "Speak SAA. Because SAAguideline prepared by CRC that is basedOut for Children" is a specialist in trade- is an affiliate of CRC,on a child having two parents are stillmark, patent, copyright, and licensing law. Engel the president of SAAavailable from the federal government. He is a partner in the law firm of becomes an advisor to CRC. If you would like to contact DonOhlandt, Greeley, Ruggiero and Perle, 1 Margorie is a member of the Mas-Bieniewicz, author of the guideline, forLandmark Square, Suite 903, Stamford, sachusetts Governor's Commission onhis assistance in getting this guidelineCT 06901, telephone (203) 327-6067. Responsible Fatherhood and Family Sup-adopted in the states, write him at 10004 port. Most of the Commission's work soFairoaks Road, Vienna, VA 22181, con- Beat the Tax Man: far has studied the plight of teen, unwed,tact him via email at Contribute to CRC and low income fathers. Engel has [email protected], or phone 703 -255- If you wish to consider leaving a pushing the Commission to also consider0837 (evenings). bequest or property to CRC, please let the needs of divorced and remarried fa- CRC know of your generosity. thers, and she has been promised that Donors are Contact your accountant or tax the Commission will look into those is- Appreciated advisor on the best way to structure any sues starting this Fall. CRC thanks everyone who contrib-such bequest. She recently finished her Ph.D. inutes to CRC in the charity drive that Or contact CRC, and we can sug- law, policy, and society at Northeastern takes place in all federal government of-gest an accountant or tax advisor to as- University. She is the author of severalfices every Fall. CRC is listed as numbersist you. books, including "The Divorce Decisions 1513 in the Children's Charities of Workbook" and the recently publishedAmerica listing, which is part of the In- Patronize Our Advertisers "Weddings: A Family Affair: The Newdependent Charities of America. We also Etiquette for Second Marriages andthank those who contribute to CRC in Advertise in CRC's Newsletter: Couples with Divorced Parents." the Washington, D.C., and San Francisco 5,000 circulated with a Nation- She lives in Boston, is remarried, (Bay Area) United Way campaigns. wide readership of 25,000! and has five daughters, four granddaugh- We also thank those who contrib- Quarter page $150 ters, and one grandson. ute to CRC through their United Way (3.575 x 4.825") "CRC and Margorie Engel have ain some other part of the country, where Half page $275 long cooperative relationship," said CRCwe are not listed, but where employers (7.15" x 4.825") Massachusetts Coordinator, Frankmay sometimes allow employees to des- Fullpage $500 Anderson. "She is a fighter for parents' ignate CRC. (7.15" x 9.65") and children's rights." Engel said "the CRC depends on volunteer help For information contact: affiliation between CRC and SAA is ben- and contributions for its existence. Andrew Ross eficial to both groups. I'm glad to be on If you wish to make your tax-de- 301/320-5960 board." ductible contribution directly to CRC, Lawrence Peckmazian send it to CRC, 300 I Street, Suite 401, 703/920-1451 Mediation, Washington, D.C. 20002. MoveawayHelp Leslee Newman, J.D., who has CRC on Internet Changeof Address been giving free consultations on move- Bruce Kaskubar, CRC coordina-To keep newsletters and other materials com- away issues to CRC members, is avail-tor in Minnesota, maintains CRC's site ing, please notify CRC three weeks in advance able for mediation consultations (at a fee). on the Internet Worldwide Web. For of any address change. Leslee, who is a trained mediator, canthose of you with a browser, the home Send old and new addresses to CRC, 300 "I" be reached at 714-282-1515. Her hus-page's URL is http://www.vix.com/crc/ Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, DC 20002.

Summer/Fall 1998 .Speak Out For Children Page 23 4 Chppite W.' Candlelight Vigils do more to assure every child has a fa- For advance planning for next Held in 20 States ther and a mother in their lives," saidyear's Equal Parents' Week, contact for Equal Parents' CRC National Parent Education Direc- Patti Diroff at 909-591-3689. Week tor, Elizabeth Hickey. Candlelight Vigils were held in 20 "It is long overdue that we recog- Services for D.C. states to celebrate Equal Parents' Week,nize that 'the best interest of children' Parents Wednesday,July 29 at 8 p.m. CRC chap-cannot be met unless we maximize the CRC's Washington, D.C. chapter ters, and other groups, held vigils in Ala-ability of both parents to raise and nur-is now performing services for all D.C. bama, Arkansas, California, Florida,ture their children," said Patti Diroff ofresidents. These services include: media- Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Massachusetts, California, CRC's National Coordinatortion, supervised visitation, neutral Michigan, Missouri, New York, Newof Equal Parents' Week. drop-off and pick-up of children, Jersey, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, CRC's New Jersey chapter, theparenting agreements, and counseling. Oregon, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Wash-NewJersey Council for Children's RightsFor appointments, contact Frank Ban- ington, and Wisconsin. (NJCCR), held the most vigilssixinner, CRC's D.C. coordinator, at the A CBS-TV affiliate covered a vigil various parts of New Jersey. NJCCR isHillcrest Children's Center, phone 202/ in the Malibu area of Los Angeles, andled by Dominick Romano. 232-6100. For information on the teen radio stations in New Orleans (WWL) "Patti worked tirelessly to spreadparent and mentoring programs, ask for and elsewhere reported on vigils. Aboutthe word about Equal Parents' Week,"Mr. Banner. The D.C. chapter's pro- 500 people attended a vigil sponsoredsaid Romano. grarn is half of a $50,000 grant from the by CRC's new Western Missouri chap- Equal Parents' Week followedSuperior Court of Washington, D.C. of ter, headed by Bob Pilger; the vigil wasNational Parents' Day (NPD) on Julythe District of Columbia. featured on the front page of The Chris-26, the brainchild of Belinda Rollins, head The other half of the grant, tele- tian County Headliner newspaper. of the National Parents' Day Coalitionphone referral services, is being run by Parents across the country tied orin Washington, D.C. the national CRC office, phone 202 - wore purple ribbons all during Equal Equal Parents' Week and National KID -3900. Parents' Week. Parents' Day share the mutual objective They wore ribbons and held vigils of strengthening the role parents play in Nebraska/Iowa is still to "spread the word that America mustchildren's lives. CRC's largest chapter New York City is 2nd Nebraska/Iowa, CRC's largest "Jeffery Leving is without a doubt the best fathers' rights attorney in the chapter, wishes to acknowledge volun- country. With this book, he addresses one of today's most important issues teers at their Information Centers: Leah and gives men the tools to get back into their children's lives." and Terry Mullen, Council Bluffs, Iowa; Michele Dela, American Coalition for Fathers fi Children and in NebraskaDebbie and Neal Faber, Alliance; Linda and Gaylord Lear Dose, Hampton; Glen Burda and Helen Harwager, Lincoln. Chapter presidents involv innegO and coordinators in Nebraska are Kurt fo gto Anderson and Kevin Waechter, Lincoln; rarifiilliNarrAITITATIftifrarall Mike Hyland, Omaha; Chapter Coordi- frATlitRIINVIRVE011 ItAICUSTOKIIISPUTEI he'rail.scldren nators are Suzi and J.D. Wicht, Gering-; .111rtft4tif can ctiv- eal with Kevin Lineweber, Beatrice; and Terry ,rtlft...iettos,moor Wolverton, Norfork. Cindy Riekenberg 4 4,4 divorcsettl ents and is public relations and events coordina- legal cu ody attles. tor for all chapters. State coordinators are Lyn and Bill Hurrter. Author Jeffery M. Leving is a nationallren± ed attorney who New York City CRC has become defends fathers who are mistakenly vie ed as S condary parents. CRC's 2nd largest chapter for the first He helps fathers with litigation and negotia state"es while always time! The chapter is headed by Serge focusing on what is.. st for thchi Prengel. The group publishes a monthly A relationship wit newsletter and holds support group meetings at the YMCA Chelsea Center Building, 122 W. 17th Street, just west 'I of Sixth Avenue, the first Wednesday of the month at 7 p.m.

19 NationalAffiliateOrganizations and Chapters National Affiliate Regional chapters and directors Kentucky phone: 402/330-3353 Tennessee Organizations Los Angeles, Keith Fagan Kevin O'Brien email: [email protected] David Courson, coordinator 818/705-4752 CRC of Kentucky website: www.htmp.net/oma CRC of Tennessee Mothers Without Placer and Nevada counties PO Box 76266 5914 Charlotte Avenue Custody(MW/OC) John Costello Highland Heights, KY 41076 New Jersey Nashville, TN 37209 call CRC for information 916/4893482 phone: 513/624-7223 Dominick Romano, president phone: 615/3278667 Riverside, Ted Hill NewJersey Council for ParentsWithout 909/781-7277 Louisiana Children's Rights (NJCCR) Texas Partners(PWP) Yolo, KittyJackson call CRC for information PO Box 316 Children's Rights Coalition Pat Boyd, president 916/753-8867 Pluckemin, NJ 07978-0316 (Affiliate) 401 N. Michigan Avenue Maryland phone: 201/694-9323 P.O. Box 12961 Chicago, IL 60611 Colorado Harvey Walden, coordinator email: [email protected] Capitol Station 312/644.6610 Mark Entrekin, coordinator CRC of Maryland Austin, TX 78711-2961 Members of PWP join CRC for CRC of Colorado 417 Pershing Drive New York phone: 512/499-8CRC only $20.00 a year. 4715 Ranch Circle Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 Kim Boedecker- Frey,coordinator Fax: 512/4995056 Colorado Springs, CO phone: 301/588-0262 CRC of New York email: bigredl @fathers.org StepfamilyAssociation 80918-4118 231 Main Street, Suite 1 of America (SAA) phone: 719/548-8798 Phil Thommen, President Vestal, NY 13850 Vermont Margorie Engel, president fax: 719/597-2218 CRC of Central Maryland phone/fax: 607/785-9338 Laurie Casey, coordinator 650J Street, Suite 205 email: [email protected] 8229 Mapleville Road CRC of Vermont Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 Mt. 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Will Brown, president Kay and Ray Berryhill, To form chapter elsewhere that do not yet have CRC of California co-directors Nebraska/Iowa chapters, contact the CRC office, at (202) 547-6227, email PO Box 60811 0689 CR5 Lyn and William Huerter, Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 Corinna, IN 46730 coordinators [email protected] phone 916/488-KIDS phone: 219/281-2384 Join CRC, then ask for a copy of the 100-page fax: 916/441-2024 Mike Hyland, president CRC booklet that explains everything you need to know email: [email protected] Iowa - See CRC of Nebraska about affiliation. The cost of the booklet is $15.00. Nebraska/Iowa PO Box 37387 Patricia Gehlen, coordinator Omaha, NE 681375387 To form additional chapters in states that already (916) 635-2590 have one or more chapters, contact the state coordinator, 50 existing state chapter head, or CRC national office. 7wk,you aontritors/

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Benefits Include: Name. Quarterly Newsletter "Best Parent..." Bumper Sticker Address: Copy of a National Con- ference Proceedings FREE telephone conver- City: State: ZIP: sation with a nationally 5 2 recognized expert on Home Phone: Alt Phone: Move-Away issues! Much, much more! Send Application & Contribution to: CRC300 "I" Street, NESuite 401 Washington, DC 200024389 Call 202/547-6227 to charge your membership to VISA/Mastercard or AMEX Bulk copies of this newsletter are available (20 for $20, 50 for $40, and 100 for $75) for distribution to policy makers, judges, and interested persons in your state. Send order to CRC A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES Non-Profit Organization AND ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. Permit #881

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he est parent is both parents. This extraordinary book offers separating parents a sure-fire way to create a workable, practical parenting plan that is in the very best interest of their children. - David Levy, President, CRC This step-by-step guide for the care of children of divided families shows you: What to do now to help your child emotionally through the separation CREATING A SUCCESSFUL How to determine the best timeshare schedule for your child PARENTING PLAN How to ensure that your child's social, medical and educational needs are met How to most effectively interact with the child's other parent How to make your agreement with the other parent legal and binding

"This is the most comprehensive, "The step-by-step tools and easy-to-use and understand real-life examples are a must material on the subject." for parents." beanie Kramer, Mediator Kathleen A. Memel, MFCC

If you are in court, this book will help your case tremendously.

Introductory special: order this new book for only $24.95 by Oct. 15 and get free shipping & handling! Call CRC Books now at 202/547-622T* fax us at 202/546-4272 ,53 Vol. 13-No.3 Winter 1999 ISSN 1042-3559 Assisting Children of Strengthening Families Unwed Parents, Through Education Separation and Divorce And Advocacy

The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E, Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 2000214389 Phone (202)547-6227 IN THIS ISSUE: Congress Passes Access (Visitation) Law Letters to Editor 3 Congress has passed a lawJuly 14, 1998 (see Congressional Record, Vol. 144, No. News Flashes 4 that requires states to recognize 93, page H 5437), Andrews said "Most American grand- each other's visitation findings. parents would believe that after a hard fought, very dif- Federal Courts may President Clinton signed the bill ficult, painful and expensive process of winning the right Decide Jurisdiction 4 into law on November 12,to visit their grandchildren in state court that they have 1998. won that right permanently, or at least until some nega- Fatherless Boys 5 Promoted by its sponsor,tive circumstance occurs. Many of them have been Congressman Rob Andrewsshocked and chagrined to find out that is not the case. Apply for Grants 6 A ndrews (D-NJ), as a grandparents' visi-Very often, when the child moves to another state, the tation law, the legislation also rights of the grandparents evaporate." The CRC View 7 helps non-custodial parents, because visitation "Andrews could have substituted the word is visitation! non-custodial parents every time he used the word Books Videos, The new law, an amendment to Title 28,grandparents," said CRC member Rob Whitfield, Audios, Buttons 8-11 U.S.Code, Section 1738A (known before pas-who monitors Capitol Hill legislation. "If you are a sage as H.R. 4164), passed unanimously inparent or grandparent with a valid custody or ac- Locating Missing the House and Senate. cess (visitation) order in one state, and are being Children 12 In House floor debate prior to passage on Continued on page 3 Yes, 20 Percent of Children of Divorce Family Facts 13 Have Approximately 50/50 Shared Parenting Violence Victims Some people were surprised at the article "These figures of equal shared parenting were To Get New SSNs 14 in our last newsletter (Summer/Fall 1998)higher than we anticipated," said Rick Kuhn, a CRC which reported that approximately 20 percentevaluator of research. "And these figures do not re- around the Country 15 of children of divorced families are in equalflect situations in which there is less than a 50/50 shared parenting situations. split of time." Joint custody is generally defined as Ohapter News 16 We have double-checked, and the fig-at least a third of the time on a year-round basis ure is correct! with a parent. 50/50 shared parenting is substan- Onside CRC 17 Equal shared parenting means that theretially more than that. is approximately 50/50 percent sharing of time CRC Evaluator of Research John Guidubaldi, Parents Quilt 18 between two parents on a year-round basis.Ed.D., who teaches at Kent State and John Carroll This figure has doubled since 1990, when onlyUniversities in Ohio, and who reviewed the data, %palParents Week20 about 10 percent of children were estimatedsaid "these figures show the growing popularity of to be in equal shared parenting situations. joint custody." California Child Support This estimate is based on data from the Guidubaldi said "This emerging trend gives Guideline Review 23 U.S. Census Bureau and the National Centerreason for optimism about resources parents areable for Health Statistics. to offer children." 54 CRC is a member (Number 1513) of

"Speak Out for Children"is published by the Children'sRights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. Levy.Contributors to this Issue: Don Bieniewicz, Lynn Ephraim, David Dinn.College student intern Jennifer McCormick, Rutgers University.Layout by Harry L. Baisden.

Children's About CRC Charities of adversarial process, and providing for America The Children's Rights Councilemotional and financial child support. Wemission, provided the source ("Reprinted (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRSwork to strengthen fragile families offrom the Children's Rights Council news- 501(c)(3) children's rights organizationchildren whose parents are unwed. Weletter 'Speak Out for Children,' Win- based in Washington, D.C. also favor school-based programs forter") is given. For non-CRC material, CRC works to strengthen families children at risk. obtain permission from the copyright through education and advocacy. We fa- Formed in 1985 by concerned par-owner. For further information about vor family formation and family preser-ents who have more than 40 years col-CRC membership, publications, cas- vation, but if families break up, or arelective experience in custody reform andsettes, catalog, and services, write: never formed, we work to assure a childearly childhood education, CRC hasCRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, the frequent and continuing contact withchapters in 32 states and three nationalWashington, D.C. 20002-4389; phone two parents and extended family the child affiliate organizations: Mothers Without(202) 547-6227; fax (202) 546-4CRC would normally have during a marriage. Custody (MW/OC), Parents Without(4272). Our motto is "The Best Parent is BothPartners (PWP), and the Stepfamily As- The CRC home page's URL is Parents." sociation of America (SAA). http: / /www.vix.com/crc/CRC's email For the child's benefit, CRC favors Prominent professionals in theaddress: [email protected] Out parenting education before marriage, dur-fields of religion, law, social work, psy-for Children is published four times a ing marriage, and for parents who arechology, child care, education, business, year and is sent free to members. Li- unwed or separated. We work to demili- and government comprise our Advisorybrary rate: $20.00 a year. Send letters, tarize divorce between parents who are Panel. comments, and articles for publication involved in marital disputes, substituting Material in this newsletter authoredto Editor, CRC. conciliation and mediation for theby CRC may be reprinted without per- OFFICERS AND BOARD NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONSElliott H. Diamond Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. MEMBERS Darryl Grant, Co-Founder, CRC Author, Psychiatrist David L. Levy, Esq., President Washington Redskins Reston, Virginia Scottsdale, Arizona John Bauserman, Jr., Esq., Superbowl XVII and XXII Chairman of the Board Champion Phyllis Diller, Comedienne Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Sam Brunelli, CEO Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/AuthorLos Angeles, California Deephaven, Minnesota John Bauserman, Sr. Ingrid Bough-Bell EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Margorie Engel, President, James Levine, The Fatherhood Judge Richard V. Waldron (ret'd) John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Stepfamily Association of Project Lee Yarborough D. Richard Kuhn America The Family and Work Institute Nancy Heleno Obetz New York, New York HONORARY PRESIDENT Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author David Brenner, entertainer ADVISORY PANEL former Member of the Board of John Money, Ph.D. Professor of New York, New York Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Directors, New York City N.O.W. Medical Psychology and Former President, Board of RabbisLeucadia, California Pediatrics GENERAL COUNSEL of Greater Washington, DC Johns Hopkins University and Michael L. Oddenino Larry Gaughan, Professional Hospital Arcadia, California David Birney, Actor Director Baltimore, Maryland Santa Monica, California Family Mediation of Greater DIR. OF INFORMATION Washington, D.C. Hon. Debbie Stabenow SERVICES Hon. Sherwood Boehlert U.S. Congresswoman (D-MI) Ed Mudrak U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Jonathan M. Goodson, President Mark Goodson Productions Hon. Fred Thompson DIRECTOR OF PARENTING Jim Cook, President Los Angeles, California U.S. Senator (R-TN) EDUCATION PROGRAMS: Joint Custody Association Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. Los Angeles, California Hon. Bob Graham Ken Ward, President Salt Lake City, Utah U.S. Senator (D-FL) Parents Without Partners (PWP) "Dear Abby" PARENTING EDUCATION (Abigail Van Buren) Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. SPOKESPERSON: Los Angeles, California Executive Director Wes Unseld, VP Washington Northern California Mediation Bullets Karen DeCrow Center Member, NBA Hall of Fame Former President of N.O.W. Jamesville, New York Page 2 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 55 Access Law Continued from page 1 and H. 11699), Senator Joe Biden (D-D'Antonio, brought this problem to his asked to re-litigate the order in anotherDE), said "Under current federal law,attention 3 or 4 years ago, "and it was state, cite this law. Even if your orderstates must give full faith and credit tothrough learning of her story, as Mr. pre-dates this legislation, the statesthe child custody orders of another state.Coble has learned from many stories in should give full faith and credit to yourA custody order is defined as includinghis district, that we were able to work order entered in another state." a visitation order. However, as evidencetogether, as Republicans and Democrats, Rep. Howard Coble (R-NC), saidfrom around the country has shown,to bring this bill to passage." on the House floor that this bill "ensuresstate courts often do not automatically CRC members have met with that a visitation order granted to grand-recognize visitation orders, particularlyAndrews several times in the past few parents in one State will be recognizedwhen it is a visitation order for someoneyears, acquainting him with access/visi- in any state where the grandchildrenother than the child's parents, such astation problems, but we cannot take any may be moved and thereby preventgrandparents. State courts are supposeddirect credit for this legislation. "Nev- grandchildren from losing contact withto honor such orders, but it is often anertheless, talking about access issues a valuable part of their family." arduous process getting them to do so.helps plant seeds, and helps bring other Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) saidThis legislation simply clarifies that theseeds to germination, to paraphrase the "we are seeing a good deal of grand-full faith and credit law includes visita-Bible," said Whitfield. parent involvement in the raising oftion orders...It hopefully will eliminate Andrews thanked Congress mem- grandchildren, and the law has sim-the hassles, obstacles, and delays that too bers Coble, Frank, Henry Hyde (R-IL), ply not caught up with that." often confront those who have valid visi- chairman of the House Judiciary Commit- The Senate Concurs tation orders and are asking only thattee, which cleared the bill, and John In Senate floor discussion on Oc-federal law be followed." Conyers, ranking Democrat on the House tober 21, 1998 (Congressional Record Andrews said that a grandmotherJudiciary Committee, for their help in pass- Vol. 144, n. 151, pages S. 12878, 12941,who is a constituent of his, Josephineing the legislation.

Since the establishment of the Letters to the Editor Washington, D.C., chapter of CRC in Editor: July 1998, our mediation program has There has been much recent talktrying to pick up my children. After wit-helped many families find a peaceful about the quality of life issues and hownessing many non-custodial parents withmeans to settle disputes. We understand it is deteriorating for a lot of individu-similar horror stories, it is obvious thatthat the courts just don't have the time als in the metro Atlanta area. With thesomething needs to be done. Creating aor manpower to address every issue divorce rate at around 50%, issues thatfamily court is one important element.without there being some delay. One need to be addressed concern child*Also, there needs to be more protec-couple referred to the services of the custody and access (visitation). tion for non-custodial parents. Legisla-D.C. chapter of CRC stated that the On a personal note, because of fi-tively, more joint custody also seems tocourt gave them an appointment t36/0 nancial constraints, I represented my-be a key element. months later for a mediation hearing. self pro-se in front of Judge Richard Children need and want time withWhen someone tells you that their Winegarden in Gwinnett County,both parents. The current judicial systemhouse is on fire, two months from now Georgia, Civil Action File #96A64265should not have the right to discriminatewill be too late to put the fire out Georgia. After fivecontinuancesagainst one parent simply because they Frank W. Banner, Jr. granted to my ex-wife's attorney, Ms.want to spend time with their children. Coordinator Phyllis Miller, I finally was able to go Feel free to contact me anytime. CRC of Washington, D.C. before the judge. This consumed more Edward Bienkowski. than a year and a half. 1974 Valley Ridge LaneEditor: The final result by this judge's Duluth, GA 30096 Kenneth Starr spent $40 million order is that I can only see my chil- (770) 729-8271on his investigation of Clinton, to find dren for a total of 13 hours a month. what?If we spent the same $40 mil- Nothing ever happened concerningEditor: lion on something constructive, such contempt charges I filed for custodial The average court battle starts offas making sure that access was enjoyed interference. To be denied seeing one'slike a re-run of the Jerry Springer show.by children with both of their parents, children for that long a period and toEveryone accuses each other of things andjust think how much better those have to wait that long to go to court inmost of the things are not necessarily true.children's worlds would have been. Gwinnett County is a total disgrace. It's just that they are afraid if they don't Joy Muller Also, to add insult to injury, Imake the other parent look as bad as they Alberta, Canada was assaulted by my ex-'s new husbandcan, they will lose their rights as a parent Winter 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 3 56 000l0000t tot = = 0==a=0==to0otototo= E1223 = I= =I =I I YYNews FitashesYY.

* Rep. Clay Shaw, R-FL, who as chairman of the Human Resources Subcommittee of the House Ways and Means Committee, helped pave the way for welfare reform, and approved the $10 million each year in access/visitation grants to the states, has been asked to head the Social Security Subcommittee in an apparent effort to help save Social Security. The new head of the Human Resources Subcommittee is Rep. Nancy Johnson, R-CT. Ron Haskins will continue to be majority staff director to the subcommittee under Rep. Johnson.

"Still a Dad", The Divorced Father's Journey, by CRC's own Serge Prengel, was just published with praise from Warren Farrell, Karen DeCrow, James A. Cook and John Gaurnaschelli, Ph.D. Order from CRC, 224 pages. $13.95, SB252.

Federal Courts May Decide When Two States Compete for Jurisdiction The visitation law Lion law (Title 28, U.S. Code) "restoresthe original primary sponsor of the Parental reported on pages 1 and to Federal courts subject matter jurisdic-Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA), was 3 also overturns a 1988 tion to determine which of two conflict-asked several times by CRC and other ad- U.S. Supreme Court ing state court custody determinations orvocates to have Congress overturn the 1988 decision that prevented visitation determinations is valid based onSupreme Court decision, but he never in- federal courts from de- which state is exercising proper jurisdic-troduced such legislation. ciding which of two tion. This will overturn a 1988 Supreme "We are grateful to Congress for competing states had ju- Court decision which held that various fed-plugging this loophole to avoid exces- risdiction to decide a Coble eral courts did not have such jurisdiction, sive litigation, and for increasing the custody or visitation even though federal courts had alreadyrole of the federal judiciary in cases matter. been hearing these types of cases for years. when federal courts need to become In a case in which Louisiana andThe decision resulted in conflicting state involved to correct state wrongs," said California both claimed jurisdiction in acourt decisions with no mechanism to de-CRC General Counsel Michael L. long-simmering custody case, the Su- termine which order was valid." (See Con- Oddenino. preme Court ruled in 1988 in Thomp-gressional Record Vol. 144, No. 93, July Former Representative Gerald son v. Thompson that federal courts could14, 1998, page H5438). Solomon (R-NY) also spoke in favor of not decide which state, Louisiana or Cali- Former Senator Malcolm Wallop,the bill. fornia, had rightful jurisdiction. So the dis- pute between Louisiana and California had no legal resolution. Order CRC Book and Make Money! Rep. Howard Coble (R-NC), said The CRC book, "The Best Parent is Both Parents" can be offered to you on the House floor that the new visita- at a discount. Order bulk copies (10 or more) for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for CRC on Internet the list price of $10 each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Bruce Kaskubar, CRC coordina- You can also give copies to judges, policymakers, and tor in Minnesota, maintains CRC's site others to help educate them on the issues of concern to you on the Internet Worldwide Web. For and CRC. 'those of you with a browser, the home Send checks to CRC, and copies will be mailed to you. page's URL is http://www.vix.com/crc/ For orders of 20 copies or less, add $5 for shipping (to one Bruce likes to field questions about address). For orders of more than 20 copies, shipping cost is CRC from individuals, as well as mem- included. bers of other groups. Individual copies will continue to be available from CRC Mike Oddenino, CRC's for $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. General Counsel, has a new website. If you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David It can be reached at: L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it autographed (yourself, perhaps www. oan dglaw.com. your childrengive their names) and your autographed copy will be sent to you. (Corrected from last issue.) Page 4 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 Cfr 5 7 BEST COPY AVAILABLE The Wall StreetJournal Reprinted with permission Tuesday, December 1, 1998 Fatherless Boys Grow Up Into Dangerous Men bYMaggieGallagher George Moody, a 60-year-oldand 1990 the homicide arrest rate forat risk, or did divorce have similarly man from Hinesville, GA., had justjuveniles jumped 87%. Following rapidnegative effects? Is a stepfather as checked into John's Resort in Haineschanges in family formation in thegood as biological dad? How much City, Fla., for a family reunion in1970s, youth violence rose sharply indoes remarriage, which dramatically April. He opened his hotel door, andthe 1980s and '90s, even while it de-raises family income, do to restore to three teens in ski masks opened fire.clined for adults over age 25. children the protection of a two-par- When police arrived they found five Such correlations are merely hintsent home? members of Mr. Moody's family, in-that fatherlessness causes crime. Until re- To answer questions like these, cluding a 10-year-old girl, wounded. cently, scientific evidence has been hardCynthia Harper, a demographer at "It was a random shooting," Sheriffto come by. Researchers had long sus-the department of obstetrics and gy- Lawrence Crow told the Miami Her-pected a link between father absence andnecology at the University of Cali- ald. "It doesn't make any sense." crime, but few had access to the kind offornia, San Francisco, along with This was the final act of a four-large nationally representative databasePrinceton's Sara McLanahan, one of day shooting spree undertaken by threeneeded to rule out alternative theories.the nation's top family scholars, un- boys, all under 18. Just another crimeSince boys raised by single parents dis-dertook what few researchers had in in America, not shocking enough to proportionately come from disadvantagedthe past: a longitudinal look at how make the national news. But accordingbackgrounds,maybeitwasnotfamily structure affects serious crime, to a news report, "Kids and Violence,"fatherlessness but poverty or discrimina-using a large national database, the by Florida's Family First organization,tion that put them at risk of crime. National Longitudinal Survey of all three gunmen had one thing in com- Nor could most of these earlierYouth. Their study offers a unique mon: they came from homes broken bystudies distinguish between differentopportunity to calculate the true costs divorce or unwed parenting. sorts of disrupted families: Was it justof family breakdown and to compare Coincidence? Between 1980children of unwed mothers who were (Continued on page 6)

THIS RIVETING EXPOSÉ REVEALS HOW JUDGES, ATTORNEYS, PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATE LAW & ETHICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL TO IDENTIFY A "PRIMARY PARENT"

A FAMILY DIVIDED One Divorced A Divorced Father's Father's Story Struggle with the Child Custody Industry Every Father's and Child's Nightmare 4 Reviett Negetetaost

547pp,Prometheus Books Cloth $27.95

"Robert Mendelson's new book, A Family Divided, compellingly chronicles Dr. Michael Nieland's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along the way provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce as well as thoughtful recommendations to policy makers for change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!' -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President of the National FatherhoodInitiative

A Family Divided is on target about the social ill that faces society today. 1 liken it to social cancer." -- Sidney Siller, Chairman/Founder of the National Organization for Men

How to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores Internet: www.amazon.com Publisher: 1,800.421.035pP metheus Books) ' CRC Catalog of Resources

6 Apply for Funds in Second Round of AccessGrants! Get to know who handles accessCRC will help you write a grant pro- This means that funding for small grants in your states, and CRC willposal, if we can. states will go up, while funding for larger try to help you write a grant. Smallstateseach received states, which received $400,000 or more Many states have decided how$50,000 in the second round (as theyeach of the first two years, will likely re- they will spend the second round ofdid last year), with the average grant,ceive less, said Arnaudo. access/visitation grants, but not allincluding those for the larger states, states have actually distributed thetotaling about $190,000. funds. Non-profit groups are eligible Under the third round of grants CRC and our to receive funds from the states, andscheduled for the summer of 1999, are urged to contact state officials ineach state will receive at least $100,000, chapters need charge of the grants. according to David Arnaudo, an of- grant and For information on who handlesficer in the federal Child Support, who the grants in your states, contact CRC.oversees the grant process to the states. proposal writers. Fatherless Boys Continued from page 5 different theories about the "rootfrom intact families. for example, found that the very small num- causes" of crime. In fact, notes Ms. Harper and Ms. ber of teenage boys living with just their Ms. Harper and Ms. McLanahanMcLanahan, "the odds for youths from single fathers were no more likely to com- followed 6,403 boys who were between stepparent families are similar to thosemit crimes than boys in intact families. the ages of 14 and 22 in 1979, upfor youths who do not live with any But boys living with remarried dads faced through their early 30s. They con-parents, although these children, inrates of future incarceration as high or trolled for family background variablesaddition to not having any parents carehigher than boys living with remarried such as mother's educational level,for them, are selected for more diffi- mothers. Why? Perhaps because men who race, family income and number of sib-cult family circumstances." don't many but care for their children lings, as well as neighborhood vari- Apparently stepfathers and childrensingle-handedly are unusually devoted fa- ables like the proportion of female-frequently compete for the time, attention thers. headed families in the neighborhood,and resources of the biological mother. "Adolescents face a lot higher unemployment rates, median income Ms. Harper cautions, however, that "there risks today than they used to," says Ms. and even cognitive ability. may be lots and lots of households thatHarper. "Fathers may be even more Here is what they found: Boysbenefit enormously from a stepfather.important than in the past." Yet as the raised outside of intact marriages are,These are large national averages." importance of fathers has grown, the on average, more than twice as likely Poverty did make it more likely thatlikelihood that they're around has as other boys to end up jailed, evena boy will be incarcerated as an adult. Butfallen. By their teenage years, almost after controlling for other demo-"family structure was more important40% of boys in Ms. Harper and Ms. graphic factors. Each year without athan income," reports Ms. Harper, though McLanahan's study were not living dad in the home increases the odds ofshe'd like to see that finding replicatedwith both their parents. future incarceration by about 5%. using other, more reliable income data. Since 1970, the divorce rate has Boys raised by unmarried mothers Though Ms. Harper and Ms.doubled and the out-of-wedlock birth are at greater risk, but mostly, it appears,McLanahan's data don't prove this, Irate has tripled. Today, according to because they spend more time without athink their evidence suggests that,the latest Census Bureau statistics, one- dad. A child born to an unwed motherwhile the structural advantages of mar-third of all births, and 44% of first is about 2 1/2 times as likely to end upriage (more time, more supervision andbirths, are to unmarried mothers. The imprisoned, while a boy whose parentsmore money) helps, the attachmentfirst heart-breaking victims of this revo- split during his teenage years was aboutbetween father and son may be the key. lution in social behavior may be the 1 1/2 times as likely to be imprisoned. Fathers teach their sons lessons, directlychildren of single parents themselves. Child support made no differenceand indirectly, about what it means toBut as George Moody found out, they one way or another in the likelihood abe a man. When boys identify withare not the only victims. boy will grow up to be a criminal. Andfathers who are loving and available, sadly remarriage made thingsthe likelihood lessens that they will Ms. Gallagher is an affiliate scholar worse: Boys living in stepparentdefine their masculinity in terms ofat the Institute for American Values, families were almost three times asrebellion and antisocial aggression. New York City, and is a nationally syn- likely to face incarceration as boys Ms. Harper and Ms. McLanahan,dicated columnist. Page 6 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 59 a "one-stop" shop for a variety of friendly help. The idea is that people will be more eRe °Peet. likely to support their children if they are 4 vaadz, ..emf getting access to services and programs. And if parents get the services they need, Meetings arechild support is unimportantonly thatstate costs for running the child support beingheld insociety cannot expect low income,program may go down. Parents gain, Washington theseunmarried fathers to pay support un- Leg children gain, states gain. days which indi-less they have jobs and job training. Imaginea family friendly financial cate a new way of thinkingthat fathersEveryone will be better off if peoplechild support office! are as important as mothers for healthycan be helped to get jobs. NPCL, Private groups like the re- child development. which is funded by the Ford Founda-search-oriented Urban Institute in Such meetings, and such think-tion, is helping to establish programsWashington, and the National Cen- ing, would have been impossible into help fathers obtain jobs. ter on Fathers and Families in Phila- high level Washington circles just a a Key Republicans in Congress,delphia are holding joint meetings to few short years ago. including Bill Archer (R-TX) and Claydiscuss fatherhood. There is a level of Congress, the White House, andShaw (R-FL), have introduced a billagreement among groups attending private think tanks are all involved into provide $2 billion a year for father-those meetings representing women, this exciting new approach. We hopehood programs, primarily to assist un-fathers, children, government, private it means that there is finally a wide-wed fathers. The idea is to encourageindustry, and think tanks that would spread realization that "The Best Par-marriage and emotional and financialhave been unthinkable a few years ago. ent is Both Parents." support of children. CRC has been invited to partici- Some examples: Not to be outdone, the Whitepate in a variety of these governmental NPCL (the National CenterHouse, led by Vice President Gore, isand private sector meetings in recent for Strategic Non-Profit Planning andexpected to soon introduce a large fa-months. And we are surprised with the Community Leadership), which worksther-oriented spending bill of its own.level of agreement that we have wit- with fragile familieslow income, un-The Democratic version will probablynessed. married parentsis arguing that lownot be tied to encouraging marriage as Public and private organizations, income fathers cannot pay financialmuch as the Republican version. Butthink tanks, women's groups, fathers' child support until they have jobs.it will definitely be designed to encour-groups, children's groups, that would They are notsaying that financialage better parenting. The fact that bothhave had sharp disagreements a few years Republicans and Democrats will beago may not see everything eye-to-eye, vying for your support for fatherhoodbut they reflect a growing consensus that Help Us Help You! programs, each saying "My proposal is "the Best Parent is Both Parents." the best," shows just how far the idea CRC needs equipment: of parenting for children of unwed, *computers separated, or divorced parents has * typewriters come! *photocopy machines Congress is also sending sig- Patronize Our Advertisers *other office equipment nals that the federal government, which CRC needs volunteers to: up to now has paid for almost all the Advertise in CRC's Newsletter: *do filing costs the states incur in running the 5,000 circulated with a Nation- *be Newsletter editor child support system, may make the wide readership of 25,000! *layout Newsletter states foot more of the bill. Business Card $75 *answer the phone This has led to discussions about Quarter page $150 *work with celebrities how federal and state officials can pro- (3.575 x 4.825") *work on the internet vide more "program services." Five Half page $275 *advocacy years from now, if you walk into a (7.15" x 4.825") $500 * information child support office, it may not be just Fullpage * fund - raising to pay or collect support, it might also (7.15" x 9.65") *what else would you like to do? be to get information on jobs, access/ For information contact: visitation,parentingeducation, Andrew Ross Contact the national office or the chapter parenting plans, and a variety of other 301/320-5960 nearest you to ask about their needs. services and programs. Your bureau- Lawrence Peckmazian THANK YOU cratic child support office may become 703/920-1451

Winter 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 7 GO Children's Rights Council 1999C.ATALOGOF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANY' B00 IKS EDISCOUNThEog BOOKS FOR KIDS The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie Engel, 1992. NEW! Planning and action guide with 55 formulas to help you in four key deci- I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and JamesCohen. sion areas:financial, legal, practical, and emotional. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. SB-2006 *Discount Price $7.00 HB252 $16.95 NEW! How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Adviceto Kids, Divorced Dads, Shattering the Myths, by by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read one-of-a-kind guide foryoung Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. The surprising truth people and their parents as they reshape their lives post-divorce. DIVORED about fathers, children and divorce. SB-112 *Discount Price $4.00 DA] s HB-250 $24.95

I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps children 511MTERIAS MY1115 For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Kline and recognize that it is appropriate to have negative Feelings about divorce and Stephen Pew, 1992.Discusses how to share your to express those feelings. children with your ex-spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida SB-2012 *Discount Price $2.00 coordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! HB-216 *Discount Price $9.00 Questions from Dad, by Dwight Twilley, 1994. An effectiveway to develop better relationships between children and their The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. An parents. outstanding book with a powerful message: while divorce is not 'good,' HB-240 *Discount Price $7.00 there is a path to a 'good divorce where parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire HB-2001 $23.00 Berman, 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be better than one. Helping Your Children through Divorce,Florence Bienenfeld, SB-307 $12.00 Ph.D.,1995. A resource book depicting the impact of divorceon children. It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear SB-201A *Discount Price $7.00 can help children understand divorce and sends a good message. SB-308 $5.99 A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler& Michelle patterns in their lives. Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate honest andopen communication between SB-225 *Discount Price $8.00 adults and children at the traumatic time of separation and divorce. O and A for kids. The Joint Custody Handbook, by Miriam Cohen, 1991. A 1991 SB-2010 *Discount Price $6.00 update of one of the classic books on joint custody. Contains sample parenting agreements. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! BOOKS FOR PARENTS HB-213 $10.95 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300co-parents and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, and Step-family Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Successful Co- situations. Parenting. A blend of the author'sown research, and that of other SB-113 $9.95 experts, and rich in anecdotal information. SB-223A *Discount Price $10.00 The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook, by Mary Hirschfeld, HB-223B *Discount Price $18.00 1992.Visualization exercises help readers root our destructive feelings left over from their childhood. Loving and Listening, by Melinda Blau, 1996. A SB-2009 *Discount Price $5.00 Parent's Book of Daily Inspirations for Rebuilding the Family After Divorce Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. Warmlysupport- SB-235 *Discount Price $10.00 ive and reassuring, this comprehensive guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. HB-204 *Discount Price $9.00 61 REVISED! Levy, just state to whom you would like it autographed (yourself, per- Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., 1998. haps your children-give their names). Making shared custody work: How parents can make two homes for SB-282 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 their children after divorce. 100 New pages to this classic book! Individual copies $10.00 SB-202 $20.00 Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Neuman, Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Resolve L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nationally renowned Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. Points our de- "Sandcastles" workshop. structive habits by both genders which, when realized, strengthen families HB-284 $25.00 and relationships. SB-246 Extra Low Price$3.00 Joint Custody: An Alternative for Divorcing Families, by Mel Morgenbesser and Nadine Nehls, 1981. A guidebook for par- The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, by Paula ents about summer camp and education through travel. Reduced price $5.00 Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. HB-285 SB-286 $16.95 BOOKS FOR STEPARENTS Putting Kids First, by Michael Oddenino. A must read for caring How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. and John parents and professionals, by CRC's General Counsel.Includes a Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the Stepfamily Association children's bill of rights. of America answer questions and give suggestions on how to make SB-248 $9.95 stepfamilies work. HB-301 $13.95$ Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. Based on ten year longitudinal study of the effects of divorce on adults Making it as a Stepparent, New .dNew Rules, by Claire Berman, and children. 1986. Former president of the Stepfamily Association of America pro- HB-22 *Discount Price $8.00 vides practical help and insights. SB-304 $7.95 Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Mala Burt for the Stepfamily 1980. A classic that is still valid in discussing the problems of children Association of America. being raised by single parents. SB-303 $9.95 SB-220 *Discount Price $10.00

Cum; a SLKCISSIUL NEW! BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS PACIP4111:4 NAN Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. Grandparents, by Dr. Ruth Westheimer (Dr. Ruth).Includes a 20- A. Jayne Major. Nationally acclaimed author of page chapter on divorce. "Breaththrough Parenting" and "Winning the Custody SB-393 $22.00 War Without Casualties" $24.95 BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS 1111=112111211121 SB-280 Another Way Home, by John Thornlike, 1996. A burning, beau- 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, 1994. A tiful memoire. 3-step program that can make your family life happier, less stressful, and HB *Discount Price $10.00 more rewarding. HB-281 $19.50 At My Father's Wedding: Reclaiming our True Masculin- ity, by John Lee, 1991. A ground-breaking work about the Father Familyhood:Nurturing the Values that Matter, by Dr. Lee Wound and the pain a child can bear because of it. Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communicating values. HB-242 Extra LowPrice $2.00 HB-282 $21.00 Surviving Divorce-Women's Resources After Separation, The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to Shared by Mavis Maclean, 1991. Women coping with earnings, maintenance and welfare in the U.S., France, and Great Britain. Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC book edited by David HB-819 *Discount Price $5.00 L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 each, and make a profit for you or your The Liberated Man, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Reveals what every organization! Individual copies will continue to be available from CRC woman needs to know about men and what every manneeds to know for $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last.If you about himself. would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David L. SB-244 *Discount Price $3.00

62 Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to Know about Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Divorce, by Lois Money and Divorce, by Esther M. Berger, 1996. Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the fundamental skills of negotiation con- SB-251 $22 flict resolution and mediation, for everyone's good. SB-605A *Discount Price $9.00 Man Enough, by Frank Pittman, 1993. Explores the changing relationships between fathers and sons, and mothers and sons. HB-239 *Discount Price $1 1.00 LEGAL ISSUES

The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Rock solid and A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, 1997. A discus- A Family authentic decimation of the myth of male advantage ...sweeps aside ste- sion of a divorced father's struggle with the child custody industry. DEC)HB-762 $21.00 reotyped assumptions to uncover a deeper truth. iti SB-245 *Discount Price $6.00 The Custody Revolution, by Richard Warshak, 1992. Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, 1986. The Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights and desires. HB-702 *Discount Price $15.00 SB-243 *Discount Price $3.00 Kt I hers' The Fathers Emergency Guide to Divorce/Custody Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists and 11 igh ts Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-selling book for fathers who want to maintain contact with their children. Social Workers in the Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with SB-640 $12.50 the legal insights of Williams Dawes, Esq., 1997. SB-247 $15.00 The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. PARENTAL KIDNAPPING HB-642 $19.95 The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for mental health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authoritative The Divorced Parent:Success Strategies for Raising Your work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Children After Separation, by Stephanie Marston, 1994. Pro- SB-1004 $30.00 vides practical advice and specific tools for raising well-adjusted children. HB-643 $21.00 When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents searching for their children and Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wisenotes from a new abductors who have taken them; also makes public policy recommendations. dad in the real world. HB-901 $22.95 HB-644 $22.00 CHILD ABUSE Mid tLike Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong, 1996. False CustodyA collection of stories on being a man at midlife in America, Accusations of Child Abuse: A Roadmap for survivors which helps to Pilacie with introduction by Robert Fulghum. answer their questions.

4.7.0Ima HB-645 $21.95 SB-2014 $15.95

=muWAT/111 Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster Watnik, Children Held Hostage: Dealing with programmed and brainwashed 1997. Answers all your questions about child custody and child support children, by Stanley Clawar, Ph.D. and Brynne Rivlin, M.M.S., 1991. for a single parent. Published by the ABAs Section for Family Law, this book discusses a 12- SB-641 $21.95 year study of programming and brainwashing during custody battles. SB-1003 $45.00 The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Card, 1996. A plan for managing your money when you are the only one your family can count on. Protocols for Sex Abuse Evaluations, by Richard Gardner, M.D., SB-646 $14.95 1995. Presents a new series of criteria and interview sequences to help examiners involvedin sex abuse evaluations. MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION HB-1007 $39.95 Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1989. In this update, Recognizing Child Abuse and Combating Child Abuse, A Gardner proposes a three-phase system to remove child custody evalua- comprehensive guide to recognizing, preventing, and handling child abuse tions from courtroom litigation. and neglect, by a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. HB-603 $35.00 (both books by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D.) SB-1006 *Discount Price $12.00 HB-1008 *Discount Price $20.00 63 AUDIOTAPES The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can Cost By noted author Warren Farrell Children's Lives, by Richard Gel les 1996. A convincing and dra-Why Men Are the Way They Are matic book about the flaws of the child welfare system. A-310 $ 8.00 HB-1022 $23.00 Understanding Each Other (set of two tapes) A-311 $ 8.00 Suggestions of Abuse, by Michael D. Yap leo, Ph.D. 1994. The Myth of Male Power A book about true and false memories of childhood sexual trauma. A-312 $ 8.00 HB-1023 $22.00 Complete set of Warren Farrell tapes $20.00 True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse, by Richard A. A-113 Gardner,1992. A guide for legal and mental health professionals. REPORTS HB-1024 $45.00 UPDATED 1997, Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. Not VIDEOS a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, MSW R116 $10.00 1994. The children speak from their own experience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC-award winning video prepared by CRC's Challenging the Washington, D.C. Child Support Guidelines, National Parent Education Director. Willing challenge filed by CRC and the Greater Washington Area Chapter V-902 $25.00 of the National Women's Bar Association attacking the substance and The Sensible Approach To Divorce, prepared by Wyandotte County, procedure for the adoption of the D.C. guidelines. Kansas officials. A CRC-award winning program in Kansas that shows LB-104 $10.00 parents how they can both be fully involved in children's lives post-divorce. V-903 $15.00 PINS AND BUTTONS Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Association of Young The famous "Children First" pin. Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co- 8 colors, with figures of seven chil- parenting in the event of divorce. dren standing on a field of green V-904 $20.00 ; CHILDREN FIRSTI with logo "Children First." Two The Family After Divorce: Restoring the Family Fabric, by prongs. 3/4" high, 1 1/2" wide Phoebe Snover Prosky, MSW. (25.00). The program described in this P101 $8.00 video has helped many children of divorce. V-905 $15.00 Button created by Patti diroff that says "Child support is 04,6%A. more than a check, it's being a parent." With CRC logo, Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Parental Alienation including children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2 1/4" Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, M.D. An in-depth dis- eter. cussion of ways that parents can alienate the child against the other parent. B202 $3.00 V-906 $25.00 r Order Form Title MC, VISA, AMEX Title Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Title Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Total enclosed Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272

SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDREWA CITY: STAtr:11 ZIP: Locating Missing and Hidden Children

The federal gov- To theirpleasantsurprise, tion." ernment is making ef-McLaughlin showed up. Wuwert and Ross's letter forts to ensure thatLevy explained to him that federal law said: children missing fromnow "directs" child support offices to only an "au- non-custodial parentsobtain information on the whereabouts thorized person" as can be located, butof the child and give it to the local court. determined by federal some local officials are The court is then required to law (42 U.S.C. apparently resistingconvey the information to the parent, 663(d)(2), is entitled to this effort. '11 Wuwert unless there is evidence of domestic ' ,request the informa- Virgil Chase ofviolence. Chase tion. The State Parent Maryland, and Don "We hope for a positive resolu- Locator Service Schulte of Ohio, are two non-custo-tion of this case soon," said Wuwert. (SPLS) established in each state fur- dial parents who have not seen their "There have been numerous com-ther states in 45 C.F.R. 302.33(c) that children for months. The children'splaints over the years about childrenan "authorized person' means: whereabouts are being concealed by thebeing hidden by custodial parents, with any agent or attorney of any custodial parents. perhaps the most outrageous cases in-state having an agreement under 42 Both parents pay financial childvolving parents who pay fmancial childU.S.C. 663, who has the duty or au- support through child support agen-support, but still could not get to seethority under the law of that state to cies. The money is sent to the custodialtheir children," said Levy. enforce a child custody or visitation parents, whose whereabouts are known "The faces of parents paying sup-determination, and to child support officials, but have notport but who cannot get to see their any court having jurisdiction been revealed to the non-custodialpar-children are the saddest faces we everto make or enforce a child custody or ents. see," a child support official told Levyvisitation determination, or any agent of "Local officials are used to think-10 years ago. such court. ing only in terms of finding parents who Although Shaw's letter to the owe financial child support, so some of CongnasRespericled Times said that "the father's lawyer" them aren't ready yet to find children being is an authorized person, Ross's letter hidden by the custodial parent," said Congress responded to thesestates that the father's lawyer is not an Margaret Wuwert, CRC coordinator forcomplaints by expanding the Federal"authorized person" under the law. Ohio, who has been working to helpParent Locator Service in the 1996 "The Human Resources Sub- Schulte find his children. welfare reform law, and modifying itcommittee has been informed of this Shulte's two daughters are Leslie,slightly in 1997 legislation. discrepancy, and we hope that the law 15, and Libby, 13; he has seen them only E. Clay Shaw, Jr., Chairman,will be changed so that the non-custo- once in the past four years, when he lo-Human Resources Subcommittee,dial parent's lawyer will be considered cated them temporarily at their grandpar-Ways and Means Committee, wrote aan authorized person in the future," ents' house over the 1997 Christmas holi-letter in the Washington Times Julysaid Stuart Miller, senior legislative days. 3, 1998 that Chase, who had been fea-analyst for the American Father's Coa- An official in Wood County, Ohio,tured in an earlier Times story, waslition, who was instrumental in con- where Shulte's case is located, said inentitled to be told the whereabouts ofvincing Shaw to write the letter to the minutes of a Wood County childsup-his child, absent domestic violenceorWashington Times in August 1998. porttaskforcemeetingthatchild abuse (See reprint of letter in Continued on page 14 they "are not driven by federal law." Summer/Fall "Speak Out for Children"). "Of course they are driven by In a follow-up to Shaw's letter, federal law!" said Wuwert. federal child support Commissioner Wuwert set up a press conferenceDavid Gray Ross sent a letter August FAMILY FACTS in Toledo on December 4, 1998 to draw Photocopy and distribute the "Family Facts" 12, 1998 to all IV-D (child support) on the next page! Use as hand-outs when attention to the problem of children be-agencies around the country empha- ing hidden by the custodial parent. visiting the Legislature, disseminating informa- sizing that the FPLS is available "for tion to the courts or the media, or as Wuwert invited CRC President a re- the purpose of determining the where- source for testimony and Letters to the Edi- David L. Levy to the press conference, abouts of a parent or child when the tor. "Family Facts" is a regular feature of this and Wuwert and Levy invited Frankinformation is to be used to locate the newsletter. Send us your verified facts (with McLaughlin, the local child support di-parent or child to make or enforce a child actual copies, sources and dates) to "Family rector to the press conference, also. custody or visitation determina- Facts," CRC.

Page 12 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 65 ANNI1101.../ft

DivornedDads:ShatteringtheMyths The idea that joint legal custody isactually a benefit for custadjainfahusis championed PhysicalJointeusb3yHelpsto many feminists. Karen by SubsequentDivorceRaie DeCrow,a former national Reduce the divorce rate:When- president of NOW,claims, "It's going Here's one wayto cut down of a cult for women to be diffi- divorced parents toshare custody to achieve equalityin the work- everpractical, require parent, sayRich- place or the politicalarena if they are left with than givingcustody to just one John the responsibility all child, rather Children's RightsCouncil and of raising theirchildren." ard Kuhnof the Guidubaldi of KentState University. typi- "Even after adjusting plummeting in stateswhere courts our research toaccount Divorce rates are while states for all differentiatingpredisposing factors, custody of childrento both parents, found considerable we still cally award custody havesignificantly more benefits torecommend joint that favor sole to custody. Children with policies children, according in joint custodywere signifi- involving coupleswho have candy better adjusted divorces and exhibited lessantiso- Kuhn andGuidubaldi. with higherlevels of cial and impulsivebehavior than found that states families." sole custody The researchers and 1990 "haveshown signifi- awards in 1989 years joint custodydeclines in divorcein the following cantly greater conclu- "By reaching thecouple at compared withother states." Their an early state, through 1995, appropri datawere before their debatingpositions become based on 19 for which fixed, di- sions are Pennsylvania, aswell as vorcing-parent educationprograms hope to Mitateschigan and pare parents and children pre- available, including for what lies ahead,and Montana andNebraska. four times faster encourage civil relationships." ratesdeclined nearly Over-all, divorce compared with stateswhere joint custody states, in high joint is that jointcustody "The tale that fatherstell of being driven relatively rare.One big reason by away, feeling lack of custody is spouse toh control over how theirchild "removes thecapacity for one is raised, feeling parentally in raising thechildren." disenfranchised,has ,1998 arisen in virtually denying participation Sunday, January25 every study conductedsince fr-omaLte_Wsilingl°1-2(61' ours."

From 'Divorced Dads: Shatteringthe Myths" by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., with DianneO'Connell, Tarcher/Putnam,1998.

Women More Financially Risk-Averse When it comes to managing money, women tend to be much more risk averse than men. That's not terribly surprising when you consider that the world of investing is often new ter- ritory for women. It's natural to exercise caution when you're not sure what lies ahead. "As women learn more about investing and more about the concept of risk versus reward, chances are they'll stretch their comfort level to accommodate their common sense and their need for diversification. The goal here is not to feel comfortable investing in pork belly futures. but to understand the difference between taking a risk and taking a flyer."

From Money-Smart Divorce: What Women Need to Know About Money and Divorce, Esther M. Berger, CFP, Simon & Schuster, 1996.

From Volume 13, Number3, Winter 1999, SpeakOutforChildren, newsletter& the Children'sRights Counsil 300"1"Stleet N. E., Suite 401 , Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 phone (202) 547-6227 66 Domestic Violence Victimsto get New Social Security Numbers

Vice-President(SSA) employees in field offices nationwideresource guide that will: (1) assist victims Gore announced a newwill work closely with local domestic vio-of domestic violence by providing up-to- effort on November 4, lence shelters, the police, the courts, treat-date information about availableresources 1998 to help victims of ing physicians, medical facilities, andpsy- and outline strategies to ensure safety; and domestic violence es-chologists to help victims of domestic vio-(2) help those who know anyone who is cape their abusersalence get the documentationnecessary to being abused to prevent and respond to federal policy that will secure a new social security number. the situation. This guide will list privateas make it easier for vic- A press release from Gore's officewell as public resources suchas counsel- Gore tims to change their so-said that previously, the SSA requireding, law enforcement, federal workplace cial security numbers. victims to provide proof that their abuserleave policies, and substance abusepro- "Today, our message to the vic-had misused their social securitynum-grams. tims of these hateful crimes is this:we ber. For victims of domestic violence, In addition, Gore highlighted will offer you the protection a you needproviding this kind of proofwas ex-new booklet, "Protecting Victims of to regain your safety and rebuild yourtremely difficultonly victims who Domestic Violence: A Law Enforcement life," Gore said. "You have sufferedwere severely abused or who were inOfficer's Guide to Enforcing Orders of enough without having to fight for thedanger of losing their lives were allowedProtection Nationwide," that outlines protections you need to start anew lifeto change their social security number.the meaning of the Violence Against for yourself and your children." Gore added that to improve itsWomen Act's requirement to give full, For the first time, victims of do-services to victims of domestic violence, faith and credit orders of protection for mestic violence will be able to getathe SSA will post on its website thesteps victims of domestic violence. This new social security number simply bya victim needs to take to change theirbooklet was written by the International providing written affirmation of theirsocial security number and provideAssociation of Chiefs of Police with a domestic abuse from a third party, suchimportant referral information. grant from the Justice Department. It as a local shelter, treating physician, Gore also announced a Presiden-will be disseminated to law enforcement or law enforcement official, tial directive for the Office of Person-officers nationwide to teach them how The Social Security Administration's nel Management (OPM) toprepare ato enforce protection orders. Gore's office is at (202) 456-7035. Locating Missing and HiddenChildren Note: CRC wants to be sure that Continued from page 12 the new social security numbersare used to protect real victims of abuse, To be sure you obtain help fromSSN before submitting the request to the not tointerferewith a currently constituted "authorized legitimate FPLS. See 45 C.F.R. 303.70. parenting time or to reward falseaccu- person," the non-custodial parent Upon obtaining the information,sations of abuse. "We must contact the should write to an appropriate statethe IV-D agency is required to send theVice President, and our own Senators official for information on the where- information directly to the courtor otherand House members to make certain abouts of his child. Examples of such authorized person that requested it. there are sufficient safeguards topre- officials to whom you may writeas If there is reasonable evidencevent misuse of this new system," said stated in Ross's letter are: of domestic violence or child abuseMs. Lyn Huerter, CRC co-coordina- officers employed by the State, and the disclosure of such informa-tor for Nebraska/Iowa. such as social workers and law enforce- tion could be harmful to thecusto- Huerter asked that CRC members ment officials, including a state's at-dial parent or the child of suchpar-send replies from Gore and their House torney empowered to act on behalf ofent, the court must be provided withand Senate members to her at P.O. Box the state to prosecute a parental kid-the information of the whereabouts of45387, Omaha, NE 68145-0387. napping or child custodycase. the child, but shall not discuss the the court with proper jurisdic-information. 342 U.S.C. 653(b((2) and tion to submit the request to the SPLS654(26(E). on the non-custodial parent's behalf. A parent should consider disput- Change ofAddtess The person making the requesting the allegation of domestic violence To keep newsletters and other materials should provide information about theor child abuse to the judge if the alle- coming, please notify CRC three weeks in advance of any address change. individual whose location is sought,gation is false, in order to press forre- including name and social security lease of the information in appropriate Send old and new addresses to CRC, number. If the SSN is unknown, thecases. CRC is advised that there is no 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Wash- IV-D agency must make everyreason- evidence of domestic violenceor abuse ington, DC 20002. able effort to ascertain the individual'sin either the Chase or Schultecases. Page 14 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 67 Around the Country

the child, joint legal custody will beings by the state to determine if the de- Pare:ding. RecZs awarded."The reference to 'provenfendant had the ability to pay or not, the danger' strengthens Missouri law," saidNJCCR article said. Incarceration re- A new law in Missouri requiresStone. mains an option for refusal to pay sup- the formation of a parenting plan prior "The law also makes it easier toport when the payor is able. to divorce. If two parents cannot agreeremove a guardian ad litem, by allow- Many other states follow Rhode on a parenting plan, then court-or-ing you to have one guardian ad litemIsland's example, the article stated, but dered mediation is required. If theremoved from the case without show-New Jersey, where "ability to pay hear- problem still persists, then the parentsing just cause," said Stone. "Otherwiseings are unheard of", does not. go to court. "The whole point of theyou have to show cause, conflict, or plan is to make parents communicatesome other specific problem with the DobbsAdvocatesinNewYork prior to the divorce regarding theirguardian ad litem." child's best interest," says Kaiyn Stone, Wiley Dobbs, a secretary-treasurer of CRC of South- Parents Can'tbeJailed lifetime member of eastern Missouri. CRC who lives in The new law also provides that upstate New York, if you are being denied access, you can has bought 250 cop- go to the circuit court clerk and com- "The Rhode Island chapter of ies of every CRC plete a simple form, which is a "Fam-the American Civil Liberties Union newsletter for the past ily Access Order." You will be sched-(ACLU) and the Chief Justice of the 5 years, to distribute uled for a hearing within 14 days, andRhode Island State Supreme Court to the governor of the hearing must be held within 60both deserve to be commended for Dobbs in 1944New York, and each days. The cost is $25. their courageous and honest stand remember of the New At the hearing, the court can dogarding matters of incarceration forYork State legislature in Albany. "This 6 things under the new law; non-payment of child support," wrotehelps with the educational process," 1) grant compensatory (make-up)Bib Vinik in the front page article insays Wiley, "and I urge people in other visitation; the November issue of The Children'sstates to also distribute this important 2) require the custodial parent toAdvocate, the monthly newsletter ofCRC newsletter to their governor and attend a parenting class to enforce thethe New Jersey Council for Children'slegislators." importance of having both parents inRights (NJCCR). Wiley is con-,t a child's life; In June, 1998, The Rhode Islandcernedabout chil- 3) fine the custodial parent up tochapter of the ACLU made an appli-dren and what will $500 to be paid to the non-custodialcation directly to the Rhode Islandhappen to the next parent; Chief Justice and effected the releasegeneration. He as- 4) require the custodial parent toof a man who had been held in prisonsisted C.B. Harper, post a bond to ensures that future visi-for eight months on an accusation ofwho was pilot of the I tation will occur; non-payment of child support withoutB-17 bomber on Dobbs & 5) require the custodial parent toeven having been afforded a properwhich Wiley was a Michael pay for counseling for the non-custo-"ability-to-pay" hearing or given theleft-waist gunner in dial parent and child to reestablishbenefit of legal counsel. World War II, to write a book entitled their relationship; ACLU attorney Thomas Mirza"Buffalo Gal" recounting World War 6) assess the custodian to paystated "The Sixth Amendment's guar-II exploits, "so that the next genera- present and past attorneys' fees to en-antee of the right to counsel is clearlytion will remember and learn from the force access orders. applicable in child support enforce-past." "Someclerkshavebeenment cases when the parent is faced Wiley is also paying for his grand- swamped with people requesting thewith incarceration." son Michael to attend Northern Ari- motions and filling them out," says Shortly thereafter, a similar casezona State University in Flagstaff, af- Stone. surfaced in Rhode Island, in which ater having sent Michael to military Also, temporary custody will nowoman had been jailed for non-pay-school for 6 years. longer have a bearing on who gets full ment of child support and held for Wiley Dobbs, now in his mid- custody. This doesn't necessarily meannearly 2 1/2 years. Again the ACLU70's, can be reached at 518/478-9112. that joint custody will be granted, buttook up her case, and the state's chief the new law does contain a statementjustice ordered her release. Continued on page 16 that unless there is a proven danger to Both cases will be given fair hear- Winter 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 15 1 68 Movei\raiew =Under Chapter News NewYorkCity per month? If so, please let us know by "The divorce is final. Custody United e-mail Campaign contacting us at: issues are settled. Dad is keepingac- Marla Gorfain and Serge Prengel,[email protected]" tive in his children's lives with fre-of CRC of New York City, have orga- quent visits. But Morn has a dream job nized a national CRC e- Bill and Hillary Are Number 1 offer half a continent away. She wantsmail"Unitedfor In November, Bill and Hillary to move there with the children. CanShared Parenting" cam- Clinton received the first mass e-mail, the father block it?" So asks PamelaPaign about 300 e-mail messages, all on the Coyle, in an article titled "A Parent's The aim is to same day, stating: Moving Checklist" in the February,gather the energies of Subject: After divorce, The Best 1998, American Bar Association (ABA)hundreds of parents Parent is Both Parents Journal. whobelievethat Dear President and First Lady "Dad's chances may be better ifshared parenting Clinton, he lives in Louisiana, the first state toshould be "presumed" Clinton It "takes a village" to raise a child. pass a relocation statute based on ain custody cases. At the very least, it takes two parents. model drafted by the American Acad- Prengel and Gorfain issued a Unfortunately, in divorce, our emy of Matrimonial Lawyers," shestatement saying: "We are planninglegal system all too often pits parent notes. "The Louisiana version of themass e-mail campaigns: everyone sendsagainst parent, in the name of finding law puts the burden on the movingan e-mail on the same topic, the sameout "the best parent". parent to show the change was pro-day, to the targeted person or organi- Shared parenting (aka joint legal posed in good faith and would be inzation. and physical custody) after divorce is the best interests of the child." Some "There is strength in numbers, more beneficial to those whom our ju- are hailing the law; others are blastingthis is why we are organizing to dodicial system should be protecting: the it "as restricting the ability of divorcedthis. When hundreds of e-mail mes-children. I refer you to the Children's women to start over," notes Coyle. sages arrive at the same time on oneRights Council's Shared Parenting "But the controversy won't stopperson's desk, the impact is that of aweb page for more information (http:/ other states from adopting similar laws,mass movement. We can be seen!"/www.betterdivorce.com/ according to family law experts. "This campaign involves non-custodialsharedparenting/). Bennett Wolff, a New Orleansfathers as well as non-custodial moth- At this time of year when we take attorney, drafted the Louisiana law. ers who believe that the best parent isthe time to "count our blessings" and Adapted from The Liberatorboth parents. It is not just about howexpress thankfulness for all that we and email: [email protected] the system is to non-custodialour families have, you no doubt will be parentsit is about the harm it does toexpressing thanks for your lovely child, PaulSchapiro and children. of which we know you are most proud! HisDaughbar "All it takes for the participants I hope that, in your weekly ra- is the willingness to spend a few min-dio address, you will see fit to acknowl- Dr. Paul J. Schapiro, who hasutes each month to be part of a tar-edge the plight of those children of been involved in one of the most bit-geted national email campaign. Whatdivorce who find themselves deprived terly contested custody battles in theyou have to do is send an email to aof the loving care of one parent because U.S., reports success. His daughtergiven target - at the same time as hun-of our adversarial divorce system. Jillian, who had asked her mother anddreds of other non-custodial parents National Coordinators: Marla judges for several years for permissiondo it. Are you willing to contributea Gorfain (mgorfain @chesapeake.net) and to live with her father, and was consis-few minutes on your computer 1-2 days Serge Prengel ([email protected]) tently denied, moved in with her father four months ago. Guess what? That's when Jillian turned age 18, and Amicus Briefs she could live where she wants! How- If your case is on appeal, and you would like CRC to consider writ, ever, Schapiro's court saga is not over. ing an amicus brief, contact CRC. CRC cannot handlecases at the trial He is suing his ex-wife Sarita, also a level, and we do not write the main appeal brief. An amicus briefis a doctor, for $8 million, for denial of supplemental brief, telling the court why thiscase is of significance not access and fraud in misrepresenting her only to the parties in the cse, but to other children and familiesas well. We income over the years. Schapiro lives generally need 30 to 60 days before the filing deadline. in Jenkintown, PA. He can be reached at 215/576-6511. Page 16 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 69 s m C There have been some changes inRon Henry, and CRC President DavidYarborough and David L Levy. CRC! L. Levy to an ALEC task force that Chairman of the Board recommended "model legislation" to NewanaptasandGrowing! JohnBauseman,ALEC's 3,000 state legislator members Several national organizations have Jr, an attorney for Legalaround the country. affiliated with CRC, but the Center for Services of northern Vir- Sam is president of Team Builders,Children of Separation and Divorce, in ginia, member ofthe CRC International, and assists his wife RobinCharlotte, North Carolina, is the first board for the pastyear, was Read, president and CEO of the Nationalorganization to affiliate on the state or elected chairman at aFoundation for Women Legislators. local level. CCSD is headed by Dan board meeting on Octo- From 1966 to 1973, Sam playedCarrigan, a longtime member of the ber 6,1998. on the offensive and defensive lines ofChildren's Rights Council. If you would John is the sonthe Denver Broncos. He remains alike information on programs and services of John Bauserman, Sr., who was a co-Broncos fan to this day. for children in North Carolina, contact founder of CRC in 1985. Sam was co-chair of the Republi- Dan or his staff at 704/522-1331. Dan will John, 34, is married to Debbican Gala held in February 1998, andbe working with Fred Wall, CRC's Bauserman, and is the proud father ofraised millions of dollars in 1998 forNorth Carolina coordinator. a 6 month old daughter, Cameron. Republican and Democratic candi- CRC has a new chapter in Pitts- Bauserman was raised in a singledates for Congress and other offices. burgh, headed by Michael Nieland, parent home by his father and grand- "But most important to me is the M.D., president and mother. everyday role of being a husband to treasurer, and James A major part of John's practice ismy wife Robin, and parent to Tia and D. Carmine, Ph.D., family law. He has represented fathers,Dara, now successful financial associ- vice-president and mothers, and grandparents in courtates with firms in New York," said Sam. secretary.Michael is seeking custody and access (visitation) Other New Board Members the subject of the for their children and grandchildren. Several individuals were elected to book, "A Family Di- Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Board positions at the October 6 meet- vided."(seeelse- Samuel A. Brunelli, a membering. They are: Nielandwhere in this issue). of CRC's Board of Directors, speaker Judge Richard V. Waldron CRC of New at CRC conferences, and major(Ret'd). Judge Waldron served as aYork City has new leadership. Tho- fundraiser for Con-district court judge in Prince George'smas Thornton, who has been actively gressional candi-County, Maryland, from 1977 to 1987. involved in the steering committee and dates, was electedPreviously, he was a U.S. Marine, andhas been editing the chapter's news- (CEO) at a boardan FBI agent. He has been marriedletter, was elected president. Serge meeting November 9,for 44 years to his wife Mary. TheyPrengel, long-time president, has re- 1998. have a son who is divorced and re-tired as president, but will still be ac- Sam's focus willmarried, and who has joint custody tive. be on coordinatingwith his first wife of their two boys ages Nebraska/Iowa is still CRC's programs with fund-8 and 10 in Maryland. largest chapter. Maybe here is why. raising. He will bring his experience Ingrid Bough-Bell. a paralegal andPrior to the 1997 CRC conference in to bear in strengthening CRC chap- federal government employee, has seen the Washington, D.C., Lyn and Bill ters. negative effects children suffer by divorce Huerter, who head the chapter, were When Sam's ex-wife moved fromand separation, especially during her yearsasked if they would lead a panel dis- Colorado a number of years ago toas a school teacher. She has been a CRCcussion on chapter structure and de- Washington, D.C. with their two volunteer for three years, and has workedvelopment. They demurred, saying young daughters, Sam closed his busi-on many CRC projects. that perhaps they were not quite all ness in Colorado to follow his chil- John Bauserman, Sr. John, whothat knowledgeable. But they ran a dren to Washington, so he could bewas a co-founder of CRC and originallarge chapter, networked everywhere, an active parent for them. member of the board, has re-joined theand were on their way to obtaining a In Washington, Sam became di-board. John is an expert at researching$50,000 access grant (which CRC of rector of Intergovernmental Affairs atand evaluating joint custody research,Nebraska has since obtained from the the Department of Education fromand has passed that research ability tostate of Nebraska to supervise media- 1985-88, then Executive Director of thehis son Robert, whose meta-analysis oftion services). Lyn and Bill gave the American Legislative Exchange Counciljoint custody appeared in a previouspanel discussion, and it was a hit with (ALEC) from 1988-1996. At ALEC, issue of Speak Out for Children. conference attendees, for its clarity on Sam appointed Washington lawyer They join board members Leeorganization, structure, advocacy, and Winter 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 17 70 education. "Thank you, Bill and Lynn Huerter, for all you do for chil- The Non-Custodial Parents Quilt dren and families!," said CRC Board Serge Prengel of CRC of New their children is maximized. Chairman John L. Bauserman, Jr. York City has taken the initiative in "As a civil rights and human organizingThe rights movement, Mediedion,Moveaway-Help Non-Custodial the Divorced Par- Les lee Newman, J.D., who hasParents Quilt. ents Quilt is a call been giving free consultations on move- This to awareness that away issues to CRC members, is avail-"quilt" is a collec- the most impor- able for mediation consultations (atationof photo- tant role parents fee). Les lee, who is a trained mediator,graphsofdi- can and must can be reached at 714-282-1515. Hervorced parents play, is to parent husband Don Smith, Ph.D., clinicalwith their chil- through contact psychologist, is available for childcus- dren. Each time a and time spent tody evaluations. Don's number is 714-photo comes to with their chil- 939 -6678. Don and Les lee are both inthe quilt, a square dren, and that Orange County, California, butcanwithaheartis family values of- handle cases anywhere in the country. addedtothe ten cannot and do internet quilt-and not survive when Invite DonBieniewicz the picture is right broken families to Your State! underneath it. disintegrate from If a state agency or commissionYou can see the work-in-progress atthe loss of a parent and perpetuation invites Don Bieniewicz to testify inwww.betterdivorce.com/quilt/. of parental irresponsibility and abuse." your state, it could help your state to The quilt itself will be shown National Coordinator: Serge get a new, fairer guideline. throughout the country in 1999, saidPrengel (Tel): 212-337-3737; e-mail: Don is author of the CRC guide- Prengel. "Symbolically, this [email protected]. line published by the federal govern- is similar to a fabric quilt: as individu- "Steprnorn" Rags 4 Stars! ment in its booklet entitled "Child Sup-als, our love for our children is not seen See this new movie with Julia Rob- port Guidelines: The Next Generation." by the world, just as the little pieces of The CRC model child support erts, Susan Sarandon fabric that make up a quilt are relatively and Ed Harris, from guideline is based on a child havinginsignificant by themselves. Put to- two parents. Columbia Pictures. gether, our capacity to give love and "Finally, we have a This is the first time that the fed-warmth becomes more visible to all." eral government has ever distributeda movie about a steppar- Please send pictures of you and ent who is not a repel- guideline that takes into account theyour child for insertion on the Quilt direct expenditures on a child by the lant creature," said to Serge Prengel, Mission Creative Margorie non-custodial parent. Energy, 27 W. 24th St., Suite 603, Engel, Roberts presidentofthe To obtain a copy of the federalNYC, NY 10010, or phone Serge at Stepfamily Associa- publication, phone (202) 401-9383,212-337-3737, email which is the Office of Child Support tion of America, an affiliate group to [email protected] CRC. "Morn and Stepmom get into Enforcement's Child Support Refer- "Why the Quilt?" asks Prengel ence Center, located at 370 L'Enfant various arguments, but the father of the "Because we as a society all share Promenade SW, Washington, D.C. children, like the mom and stepmom, responsibility for creating a systemput the best interests of the children in 20447. There is no charge for the pub-which makes the principle 'the best lication, as long as supplies last. par-the forefront. The dad constantly rein- ent is both parents' a reality by recog-forces to the children that their mom Copies of the guideline itself asnizing that 'the best interests of chil- published by the government are avail- was a good mother to them, and he con- dren' cannot be met unless the abilitytinually let the stepmom know that he able from CRC for $5 for CRC mem-of both parents to raise and nurture bers, and $10 for non-members, in- appreciated what she was doing. cluding shipping and handling. BeattheTaxMan: If you would like to contact Don CortnbuiebD CRC Bieniewicz for his assistance in getting If you wish to consider leavinga bequest or property to CRC, please let this guideline adopted in the states,CRC know of your generosity. write him at 10004 Fairoaks Road, Contact your accountant or tax advisoron the best way to structure any Vienna, VA 22181, contact him viasuch bequest. email at [email protected], or Or contact CRC, and wecan suggest an accountant or tax advisor to phone 703-255-0837 (evenings). assist you. Page 18 Speak Out For Children Wmter 1999 Book Reviews

CALAILNUn SualiS the care of children of divided Divorced Dads: many economic factors such as prefer- Pur Saingthehatb ential tax treatment and noncustodial families, as told by one of the The about parenting costs which are never con- foremost parenting educators Fathers, andDivorce sidered in child support determina- in the U.S. Major is a nation- By Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., withtions, all of which add to the economic commossmo ally acclaimed author, who Diane O'Connell burden of the noncustodial parent. previously wrote "Break- (New York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1998; Finally, the book makes a strongthrough parenting" and "Winning the hardcover, 288 pp., $24.95) argument for balanced involvement ofCustody War Without Casualties " Reviewed by William Hess, mem-both parents in the life of the child. It Her chapters are neatly divided into ber, CRC of New York City can only be hoped that this book re-Moving from an Intimate to a Business This book is largely based onceives the careful and extensive atten-Relationship, Understanding how Chil- years of research conductedtion that it deserves and that it will bedren Experience Separation at Various by Dr. Braver in which heinstrumental in reversing the disas-Age Levels, Anticipating your Child's DIvoRE0interviewed divorcedtrous public policies now in place. ThisNeeds, Getting Organized, Understand- DADScouples before their divorcebook is very well documented and ising What Goes into your Parenting Plan, and at several specific inter-an excellent resource for data whichand what is perhaps the heart of the vals in the years followingcan be usefully quoted. bookFilling Out a Sample Parenting their divorce. We highly recommend that youPlan. She provides a worksheet to make The information gained in theseread this book and that you refer oth-your answers easier to prepare! interviews caused his team to questioners (especially legislators and media) The parenting plan in the book the results of other studies, and thisto this excellent research work. takes account of virtually every con- book becomes a general overview that tingency you can think of. If you don't compares many different studies con- When Sanford Braver startedwant to include certain points in your cerning divorce and their impact onresearching the topic of fathers in di-plan, you don't have toobut the ele- public opinion and legislation. vorced families, he expected to con-ments are there so that you won't for- Dr. Braver and Ms. O'Connellfirm what the media had been report-get to at least consider all the options! have also written about interviews theying for years: that on the whole, di- The author urges parents to conducted with other divorced par-vorced fathers abandon their children,avoid language that implies that one ents, specifically seeking to comparedon't pay their child support, impov-parent "visits with" the child. Instead, the experience of divorce from eacherish their former wives and children,parents and professionals should use spouse's point of view. This book isand benefit financially and psychologi-words like "timeshare" or "living at the one of the few times that researcherscally from the process. What he found,other home" when discussing the have actually sought out the opinionsthough, after years of research fundedother parent. of divorced fathers rather than simplyby the National Institute of Mental Major constantly talks about the concluding that they are the "bad"Health and other prestigious institu-need for a child for both parents, for guys in the unfortunate scenario oftions, was that these widely held no-the child not to have to blame or choose divorce. NYC CRC members weretions about divorced fathers were sim-sides, and to own the time the child is actively involved in some of these in-ply untrue. with his or her parents. "It is my right, terviews. Diane O'Connell has also from review by Armin Brott innot the right of my parents," the child spoken at our meetings. The Washington Post, November 29,in the book says. A considerable portion of the 1998 And a child should not be asked book is given to debunking past stud- "Where do you want to live?", for this ies that received much attention in the Editor's Note: Sanford Braveris an adult decision. Many a young press. This book shows precisely whyhas spoken at three CRC conferences,child has felt guilty over choosing one those studies are flawed and how theand he previewed the book at our 1997parent over the other, joint custody ad- conclusions should be vastly differentconference. Order the book from thevocate James A. Cook of Los Angeles than they were. CRC catalog, in this newsletter. has often pointed out. For instance, the authors amply Major wisely explains that there refute Dr. Lenore Wietzman's flawed CreaiingaSuocessful should not be a "final" version of a contention that custodial mothers fare ParentingPlan parenting plan for your child. The plan poorly in economic terms after divorce. By A. Jayne Major you are creating when you separate or Braver and O'Connell point out obvi-A Living Media 2000 Parenting Bookdivorce is a living document that must ous mathematical errors in her study 198 pages, $24.95 change over time, as your child grows. and specifically bring attention to the This is a step-by-step guide forMajor bemoans the fact that some teen- Winter 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 19 72 agers are still forced to operate underdustry flourishes all across America,and ice cream?" Amanda asked her fa- a parenting plan designed when theywreaking havoc on families. ther. "I love you more than your wildest were toddlers. judges must be interested in dis-dream," her daddy said. The author also encloses tipsonpensing justice, and in demilitarizing And then Amanda has a wild how to prepare for a child custodythe divorce process, if anything calleddream, to fetching colors and illustra- evaluation. Many a parent, afterana family division is to really serve thetions of animals that suggest great evaluation, wishes they hadsome in-best interests of the family. The familywhimsy. dication of what the evaluation would division as depicted in Allegheny "I love you more than Earth and consist of ahead of time. Justa smid-County does not appear to rise to theMars, asteroids, comets and bright gen of preparation can prepare you forchallenge. shooting stars." what the evaluator is looking for! Although the book is mainly And then there are all those de- Major, who has spoken at CRCaimed at warning fathers about thelightful asteroids, comets and shoot- conferences, also reveals resources fordivorce industry, anyone who wantsing stars jumping off the page atyou. parents, and tells how to make yourto know about the system, from its ex- As Amanda's dream came to an parenting agreement legal and bind-pert witnesses to its lawyers, judges,end, she thought she heard her daddy ing, even though it is a living docu-and hidden psychological and finan-whisper, "Today when you wake and play, ment that will change over time. cial costs, will find this an instructiveI'll love you even more than yesterday." A wonderful book by an expert!narrative. Everyone should read sucha AEaT*Divided book before they get married, andcer- ADivorcedFathees I til4 tainly before they consider divorce. It IniEllectualPropertyProtection withiheanideustody IC can help them avoid many a pitfall. Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained by Robert Mendelson Note: Nieland is in the processtrademark protection for the name and Prometheus Books of forming a CRC chapter in Allegh-logo "Children's Rights Council" and 547 pages, $20 eny County. the name and logo for our newsletter This book is aptly "Speak Out for Children" is a special- subtitled "A Divorced ILDveYouMorethart.. ist in trademark, patent, copyright, and Father's Struggle with the By Elizabeth Hickey and James Cohen,licensing law. He is a partner in the Child Custody Industry." illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown law firm of Ohlandt, Greeley, Ruggiero In a large, richly-detailed Family Connections Publishing Com-and Perle, 1 Landmark Square, Suite narrative, author pany, Salt Lake City, Utah 903, Stamford, CT 06901, telephone Mendelson tells the tale of 36 pages, $16.95 (203) 327-6067. Dr. Michael Nieland and his decade-long CRC's National Parenting Education battle with the American Legal system Director Elizabeth Hickey has done it again! Write to Congress! and its Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, Written another We have a new Congress. Do you Family Division. outstanding book,know who your Representatives and His attempts to remain actively as fine in its ownSenators are? Write and get acquainted. in the lives of his childrenare subject way as her earlierTell them politely what you think about to what the book says are "civil rights book"Healingwhat is happening to children and fami- abuses and indifferent judges who sub- Hearts," and herlies these days. Get acquainted with the ject caring parents to vengefulex- video, "Children,staff membersworking for the Represen- spouses and opportunistic psycholo-the Experts on Divorce." tative and Senator who handleour types gists and psychiatrists." The story is beautifully told, andof family issues. Then whenyou write Through letters, vivid courtroomthe illustrations are breathtakinglylater in the session asking them to vote testimony, and the personal recollec-lovely. You and your child will enjoyfor or against an issue, they know you! tions of Dr. Nieland, this book alertsthem every time you open the book. divorcing parents to the hidden The simple, but appealing story Write to House members at: minefields of custody proceedings, of- begins when little Amanda's father is Representative fers practical recommendations for re- reading her a bedtime story. (name of your Representative) form, and sheds light on the real cause She asks "Daddy, doyou love House of Representatives of fatherlessness in America. me?" Washington, D.C. 20515 Although there is a "family divi- "You're the one that I adore and Write to Senators at: sion" in Allegheny County (Pitts- every day I love you more," Amanda's Senator (name of your Senator) burgh) where the Nieland casewasfather answered. U.S. Senate heard, readers will see in these pages "Mommy too?" she asked. Washington, D.C. 20510 that creation of a family division of itself "Mommy too," Daddy said. is no panacea, and that the divorce in- "Do you love me more than candyGet to know your State Page 20 Speak Out For Children Winter 1999 ators, too! 73 Equal Parents' Week by Patti Diroff CRC's National Coordinator of Equal Parents' Week Equal Parents'vulnerability and their need for love,Equal Parents Week Week 1998 (July 27 -and it becomes so clear what is trulyCoordinator,took August 2) includedat stake. the initiative in ana- participation by Nothing is more important thanlyzing the problems people in. 20 statesgiving them all the love we have towith California's who tied purple ribbons and heldgive. The simple act of tying a purpleguideline and issuing a report which candlelight0 vigils. CRC Chapters inribbon may seem so insignificant, butwas endorsed by CRC of California. New Jersey, New York, Georgia, andthe power of this message being sent Some of the deficiencies that Kentucky /Ohio collectively heldby purple ribbons all over this countrywere noted: 120 candlelight vigils and other ac-will reach people everywhere. If every the current guidelines looks tivities. father, mother, grandfather, grand-to the welfare of only one parent, not Other organizations through-mother, stepfather and stepmother,both, as affecting the well-being and out the country joined with CRC,aunt, uncle, and all family membersbest interests of children; including Women for Fatherhood inwho cherish this devotion in their spending patterns of married Alabama, the Coalition of Parenthearts sends this message we will do2-parent families do not constitute a Support in California, Parents With-just that. valid premise for determining the costs out Rights in Florida, Fathers are If we could, we would surelyof raising children of divorce; Parents, Too in Georgia, Nationalmove heaven and earth for our chil- the most effective solution to Parental Rights & Children anddren. That is what unconditional loveprevent manipulation of child support GrandparentsRightsinNewand sacrifice is about, and that is thethrough child custody is to ensure that Strength in Indiana, Kidsview inmessage we are sending." the clearest and most objective focus Kansas, Fathers for Equal Rights in I can be reached at 909/591-3689on parenting issues, parental account- Michigan, Fathers Rights Associa-and [email protected]. ability, and the best interests of chil- tionin New York, Fathers & dren is applied by judges in making Children's Equality in Pennsylvania, custody decisions. Equal Parents Equal Time in Vir- California Child "A state's child support guideline ginia, American Fathers Alliance in Support Guideline must promote the ability of both par- Washington, and Wisconsin Fathers ents to meet all their children's needs, for Equal Justice in Wisconsin. Review said Diroff, quoting from her report. One of CRC's newest chapters, CRC of California has submit-"The current California guideline does Parents United as One in Missouri, heldted 19 pages of comments which com-not, because itis inflexible and several activities, including candlelightprehensively address deficiencies inunaffordable for many middle and vigils, tying purple ribbons through theCalifornia's financial child supportlow-income parents. Such parents can city of Springfield, and crafting purpleguideline. The CRC comments alsoface financial devastation, and in turn lanterns sold as a fundraiser and used ataddress a report on the guideline is-cause them to give up and remove one of the vigils. sued by the state of California. themselves completely from their The united efforts of these orga- Patti Diroff, CRC's Nationalchildren's lives." nizations with CRC were a significant factor in bringing national attention to the message sent by Equal Parents' Week. Updated Parenting Directory Available On behalf of CRC, I would The new update of CRC's International Parenting Directory is now avail- like to extend a heartfelt thank you able. Updated as of September, 1998, this 7th edition of the directory to all the CRC chapters and other contains information on more than 1,200 groups and individuals across organizations whose untold efforts the country and abroad working in areas such as custody, access/visitation, and hard work made Equal Parents' and prevention of parental kidnapping. The Directory, an invaluable net- Week a success. The purple ribbon working tool, is available in hardcopy or disk for $12 for CRC members, tied by each of us sends the message and $15 for non-members. CRC thanks Paul Robinson and Ed Mudrak of CRC; a universal message, and for their hard work in updating this Directory. The hardcopy is updated once a year; the disk is updated frequently. Order from CRC and specify message from our very hearts. which version you wanthardcopy or disk. When we look into the faces of our children we cannot help but see their Winter 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 21 National Affiliate Organizations andChapters National Affiliate Regional chapters and directors Dayton, KY 41074-0126 Vestal, NY 13850 CRC of Tennessee Los Angeles, Keith Fagan 513/624-7223 phone/fax (607) 785-9338 2120 Griffintown Road Organizations 818/705-4752 Louisiana White Bluff, TN 31708-5207 Mothers Without Placer and Nevada counties, Thomas Thornton, CRC of New call CRC for information York City 615/327-8667 Custody (MW/OC) John Costello CRC of New York City call CRC for information 916/489-3482 Maryland Texas Riverside, Ted Hill Harvey Walden, coordinator 499 Ft. Washington Ave, #3D Children's Rights Coalition Parents Without 909/781-7277 CRC of Maryland New York, NY 10033 (Affiliate) Partners (PWP) Yolo, Kitty Jackson 417 Pershing Drive hotline: 212/431-7724 P.O. Box 12961 Ms. Kathy Bell, Director 916/753-8867 Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 home: 212/740-7008 Capitol Station 401 N. Michigan Avenue email: 301/588-0262 Austin, TX 78711-2961 Chicago, IL 60611-4267 Colorado crcnycObetterdivorce.com phone 512/499-8CRC Mark Entrekin, coordinator website: 1-800/637-7974 http:// fax512/499-8056 Alt. phone: 312/644-6610 CRC of Colorado North Carolina/South Carolina members.tripod.com/-mdcrc/ Fred Wall, Jr. coordinator email: bigredl @fathers.org e -mail:pwp @sha.com 4715 Ranch Circle 509 N. Seventh Street website: Colorado Springs, CO 80918- Massachusetts Verinont www.parentsplace.com/ read/ 4118 Frank E. Anderson, coordinator Wilmington, NC 28401 Laurie Casey, coordinator room/pwp phone 719/548-8798 617/289-8331 910/762-4952 The Family Tree Access Center email: Members of PWP join CRC fax 719/597-2218 1 Scale Avenue, Suite 62 email: [email protected] Ted Ell, president 5968301 @mcimail.com Howe Center for only $20.00 a year. CRC of Cape Cod North Carolina Rutland, VT 05701 Stepfamily Association Delaware 1 Emily's lane Dan Carrigan, Director 802/775-0068 of America (SAA) James A. Morning, president Sandwich, MA 02563-2794 Mr. Larry Kallemeyn, Executive CRC of Delaware phone 508/420-1701 Center for Children of Virginia Director P 0 Box 1311 fax 508/428-5976 Separation and Divorce John Vaughan, president 4950 Park Road 650 J Street, Suite 205 Dover, DE 19901 CRC of Virginia, Tidewater George Kelly, chairman Charlotte, NC 28209 Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 phone/fax: 302/734-8522 chapter e-mail: Concerned Fathers of 704/522-1331 P 0 Box 61245 402/477-7837 Massachusetts, Inc. Joint membership in SAA and jmorningObellatlantic.net Ohio Virginia Beach, VA 23462 P 0 Box 2768 757/463-KIDS CRC: $35.00 for the first year District of Columbia Springfield, MA 01101-2768 Margaret Wuwen, coordinator CRC of Ohio email: [email protected] TELL ANY OF THE ABOVE Frank Banner, coordinator phone 413/736-7432 CRC of Northwest Ohio website: ORGANIZATIONS THAT CRC of the District of fax413/732-3867 www.infimet/-saxman/ YOU WANT A JOINT Columbia 2745 Sagamore Road Michigan Toledo, OH 43606 crc.html MEMBERSHIP IN THEIR Hillcrest Children's Center Barbara Toth, coordinator 419/472-1471 GROUP AND CRC. 1325 "W" Street N.W. 3rd Murray Steinberg, president floor CRC of Michigan Parents and Children for CRC of Virginia, Richmond P 0 Box 653 Washington, D.C. 20009 Equality chapter CRC Chapters Edmore, MI 48829-0653 phone; 202/232-6100 Kevin O'Brien, director 9244 Royal Grant Drive CRC of Japan fax: 202/483-4560 517/427-5774 P 0 Box 8805 Mechanicsville, VA 23116 Walter Benda Minnesota Cincinnati, OH 45208 phone 804/559-7090 P.O. Box 583 Florida 513/624-7223 fax 804/559-7072 Kris Kline, coordinator Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator Max Meadows, VA 24360 CRC of Minnesota email: familyrc @juno.com 540/637-3576 CRC of Florida Oregon 5905 Chateau Road N.W. email: [email protected] 355 Shore Drive Roy Nolan, coordinator Paul Robinson, president and Ellenton, FL 34222 Rochester, MN 55901 CRC of Oregon Fathers United for Equal Rights phone and fax: (507) 289- Brian Thomas phone 941/722-8688 P 0 Box 2095 and Women's Coalition 5745 (call before faxing) 4-18-15-903 Kamiki Tazawa fax813/620-9068 Portland, OR 97208 P 0 Box 1323 email: phone 503/232-8630 Arlington, VA 22210-1323 Setagaya-Ku Georgia Tokyo, Japan 156 BrucekOdeslnedia.com fax 503/233-9390 phone: 703/451-8580 Harry A. Prillaman, coordinator fax: 301-568-5812 011-81-3-5317-4371 CRC of Georgia Missouri Petuisylvania Scott Field, chair email: Alabama 1645 Williams Drive Michael E. Jones, coordinator CRC of Eastern Missouri [email protected] E.D. Wilson, coordinator Marietta, GA 30066-0486 CRC of Pennsylvania P.O. Box 220661 CRC of Alabama phone: 770/425-1395 RD 2, Box 290 Washington State Kirkwood, MO 63122 12890 Dixie Road fax:770/594-7110 Seward, PA 15954 Jamaica Filgo Fairhope, AL 36532-4754 email: 314/963-4668 phone 814/446-4207 CRC of -Washington alt. phones 314/878-1262 334/928-0464 Harry_PrillamanOVNET.IBM.COM fax 814/446-5935' P.O. Box 222 314/838-7092 Arlington, WA 98223 Alaska Illinois Michael Nieland, M.D., president email: [email protected] 541/482-6881 Diana Buffington, CRC Terry Cady, coordinator CRC of Pittsburgh Karyn Stone, secretary-treasurer e-mail: [email protected] Alaska coordinator, is in the CRC of Illinois 460 S. Graham St. CRC of Southwestern Missouri process of moving. Call CRC for 905 Wayne Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15232 Wisconsin 1701 S. Fort Avenue information Deerfield, IL 60015 412/441-2200 Nancy Kellogg, coordinator phone 847/374-0461 Springfield, MO 65807 CRC of Wisconsin Arizona 417/862-1592 South Carolina - See North fax 312/322-3553 Carolina P.O. Box 452 Conrad Green email: Racine, WI 53401-0452 P 0 Box 454 Nebraska/Iowa mynk71A @prodigy.com Lyn and William Huerter, Tennessee 414/619-3024 Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 coordinators David Courson, coordinator email: familyjstchrootcom.net phone 602/970-5903 Indiana fax 602/970-5925 David Dinn, coordinator Mike Hyland, president CRC of Indiana CRC of Nebraska Arkansas 2625 N. Meridian, #202 P.O. Box 37387 CRC WANTS CHAPTERS IN Bill Bailey, Ph.D. Indianapolis, IN 46208-7703 Omaha, NE 68137-5387 CRC of Arkansas EVERY STATE!!! Phone: 317/925-5433 1685 Boston Place 402/330-3353 (voice & fax) For development of chapters in the northwest Fax: 317/926-DINN email: children @radiks.net Fayetteville, AR 72703 e-mail: website: www.htmp.net/oma part of the U.S. that do not yet have any CRC chapters, 501/575-2058 (w) [email protected] 501/444-0172 (h) NewJersey contact Jim Babcook at 402/792-2271. Grandparent Rights in New Dominick Romano, president To form chapters elsewhere that do not yet have California Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) New Jersey Council for Will Brown, president chapters, contact the CRC office, at (202) 547-6227, Kay and Ray Berryhill, co- Children's Rights (NJCCR) CRC of California directors PO Box 316 email crcdc @erols.com P 0 Box 60811 0689 CR 5 Pluckemin, NJ 07978-0316 Join CRC, then ask for a copy of the 100-page Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 Corunna, IN 46730 phone 916/488-KIDS 973/694-9323; FAX 443-9358 CRC booklet that explains everything you need to 219/281-2384 email: DANIDOMOaol.com fax 916/441-2024 Iowa - See Nebraska/lowa know about affiliation. The cost of the booklet is $15.00. email: [email protected] New York To form additional chapters in states that already Patricia Gehlen, coordinator Kentucky Kim Boedecker-Frey, (916) 635-2590 Kevin O'Brien coordinator have one or more chapters, contact the state coordina- CRC of Kentucky CRC of New York tor, existing state chapter head, or CRC national office. P 0 Box 74126 231 Main Street, Suite 1 BEST COPY AVAILABLE ez ,Gan i.z-xagezJars

Life members have contributed at least $500 to CRC. Please doublecheck us for accuracy. Let us know of any errors or omissions. Thank you. Lou Adolph Elliott Diamond Paul LeBon Mark Seymour Paul Alexander David M. Dinn David L. Levy Lewis A. Sierra Asa Baber Jennifer Dumas Dennis J. Lewis John E. Siegmund Wally Babington Ted Ell The Levian Foundation, Inc. Peter Sokaris Travis Ballard Robert Eisenbart Israel Lichtenstein PNC Mortgage Corp. John Bauserman, Sr. Family and Society Institute Robert Lipsky of America Joan Berkowitz Hayden C. Fisbeck and Ann Marini Donald K. Smith L & M Foundation Elliott J. Friedel George R. McCasland Charles and Donna Stewart Don Bieniewicz Steven Glinski Gary Maxwell Robert K. Thomas Piotr Blass Jonathan M. Goodson Stuart Miller Mr. and Mrs. Danielle Thu Kamil Botros Tom Greco Michael L. Oddenino William A. Toto Sr. Dennis C. Boytim Thomas E. Harries Abe Pollin Andrew P. Ulsher Thomas D. Cabot III Ronald K. Henry Elina Hum Pratt Virginia Wellington Cabot Cliff Clark Michael Hirschensohn Deborah R. Riggs Foundation Stuart Cochran Melvin Homan Jack L. Robinson Searle Whitney Maureen Corbett Anna D. Keller Gary Santora Johnny P. Wilson Charles D. Deckard George Kelly Ruth Scheer Rex Wright Ralph and Frances Bashir Kouchaji Brad D. Schultz Andrew Zwernamenn Della Camera Walter H. Kuckes

We thank all contributors who have joined, renewed their membership, contributedto CRC, or ordered materials from CRC from July 1, 1998 through September 30, 1998 Kevin Arnoldy Tim Holt Clarence Loomis John Shepard Charles Barclay Robin Jarosy Elzie Madison Thomas Sylvester Luther Bond Craig Jones Nancy Palmer Emily Visher Terri Boseman Tompkins Allen and Brenda Lalonde Kim Prestidge Derrick Walker Dan Carroll Tom Lange John Priestly David White Keith Carson Jeff Lapides Tery Rickel Greg Wilkerson Cleve Clamp Frank Leathers James Rourke Timothy Wise Sandi Cline Ruby Ledbetter Jana Ruble Amy Wodenbrock Wilma Cohen Lewis Nick Leone Jeff Seat Weill Yang Wayne Colwell Donna Linder Richard Shea Kevin Cord le Charles K. Deckard Karla Diaz DO IT ANYWAY! Wiley Dobbs 1.People can be illogical, unreason-ideas can be shot down by the pettiest people Donald Driscoll able and self-centered. with the smallest minds. Ted Ell Love them anyway! Think big anyway! Margorie Engel 2. When you do good, people can 6. What you spend years building may Hayden Fisbeck accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. be destroyed overnight. Donald Fischer Do good anyway! Build anyway! Fe Foronda 3. The good you do today is often 7.People really need help, but may John Forren forgotten tomorrow. attack you if you do help them. Michael Fox Do good anyway! Help them anyway! Mar lk Fried 4.Honesty and frankness make you 8. Give the world the best you have and Joyce Gale vulnerable. the world may resist you every step of the way. Donald Hanemann Be honest and frank anyway! Give the world the best you Michael Harris 5.Great people with the grandest ofhave anyway! Shawn Hennessey Ruth Hoffman By all means, do it anyway! 76 A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES Non-Profit Organization AND ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. Permit #881

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