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Summer2001 Vol.16No.2 ISSN1042-3559 Strengthening AssistingChildrenof ThroughEducation Separated,Divorced, AndAdvocacy andNever-Married

TheQuarterlyNewsletteroftheChildren’sRightsCouncil,Inc. 300“I”StreetN.E.,Suite401,Washington,D.C.20002-4389Email:[email protected] Phone(202)547-6227Fax(202)546-4272Websites:gocrc.comandinfo4parents.com INTHISISSUE: The Myth of The Fading CRCView ...... 4 byE.J.DionneJr. Shared WashingtonPostcolumnist ConferenceHighlights... 5 ReprintedwithpermissionfromtheWashingtonPost,Tuesday,May22,2001 CallUs,not BlendedFamilies ...... 5 Amonghouseholdswithchildren,accordingto E. J. Dionne, Jr. says thenewCensusBureaufigures,71.8%areledby ElementsofNon-Profit Fundraising ...... 6 Census Bureau finds 70 marriedcouples.That’sdownfrom76.1%ade- Percent of Families with cadeago,and93%in1960.So,yes,thetwo- WelfareReform ...... 7 Children are Headed by familyhashaditsproblemsinthepast40years. BritishEmbassyBenefit Butifahouseholdincludeschildren,theoddsare ReceptionforCRC ...... 8 a Couple Rather than by early3to1thatitwillbeledbyacouplerather a ConferenceAwards ...... 9 thanasingleparent. AndtheCensusBureau’sCurrentPopulation BookNook ...... 10 Surveyoffersevidencethatthedeclineofthetwo- ConferenceSnapshots . 12 Youwouldthinkfromreadingtheheadlines parentfamilystoppedinthemid-1990s.Thatisbig, thatthemom-and-dad-and-kidsfamilyisinastate Books,Videos, underreported--andheartening--news,especiallyif oftotalcollapseinAmerica.Thoseheadlinesare Buttons ...... 13–20 itisconfirmedinthecomingyears. basedonaccuratereportingofcertaindatafrom Between1990and1996,therewasacontinu- Addt’lFindingsthat the2000Census. ingdeclineintheproportionofhouseholdswith OvernightsbyInfantswith Buttheheadlinesarewrong.Thetwo-parent OtherParentAreFine 21 familyisstillthenorminAmerica. Continuedonpage3 FederalCampaign ...... 22 AudioCassetteOrder Summer2001CRCCollegeStudentInterns Form ...... 24 EqualParents’Week... 25 ForgiveTheirDebts .... 26 BushIssuesNat’l’s DayProclamation ...... 27 BillsinCongress ...... 28 FamilyFacts ...... 29 NationalAffiliate Organizationsand Chapters ...... 30 (l to r) Eleanor Zandstein, Susanne Bielaski, Natalia Swalnick, Jessica Brooks, Samantha Shapiro, Katherine Potter, Contributors ...... 31 Kelli Lydon, Ron Varga. Intern Patricia Lopez is seated at right. CRCisamemberof

“SpeakOutforChildren”ispublishedbytheChildren’sRightsCouncil,Inc.Editor:DavidL.Levy.Contributorstothis issue:JulieMaggiacomo,AlEllis,PaulRobinson,KenSkilling,andcollegestudentinternsSusanneBielaski,Columbus SchoolofLawatCatholicUniversity;JessicaBrooks,WashingtonUniversityinSt.Louis,PatricaLopez,Universityof CaliforniaatDavis;KelliLydon,St.Mary’sCollege;KatherinePotter,UniversityofNewHampshire;SamanthaShapiro, UniversityofCentralFlorida;NataliaSwalnick,SyracuseUniversity;RonVarga,BethanyCollege;␣ EleanorZandstein, UniversityofConnecticut,whoisanIsraeli.LayoutbySheilaHolzberger. The CRC TheChildren’sRightsCouncil step-parents,andotherswhoare Materialinthisnewsletterauthored (CRC)isaninternational,non-profitIRS partofthefamilyfabric,working byCRCmaybereprintedwithoutper- 501(c)(3)children’srightsorganization, asateam. mission,providedthesource(“Re- basedinWashington,D.C. •CRCenvisionsasocietywhere printedfromtheChildren’sRights Mission laws,attitudes,andpublicopinon Councilnewsletter‘SpeakOutforChil- •TheChildren’sRightsCouncil affirmthatforchildren,“TheBest dren,’Summer2001")isgiven.Fornon- (CRC)isaninternationalnon- ParentisBothParents.” CRCmaterial,obtainpermissionfrom profitorganizationcommittedto thecopyrightowner.Forfurtherinfor- theloving,nurturing,protecting Formedin1985byconcernedpar- mationaboutCRCmembership,publi- andeducationofchildrenthrough entswhohadmorethan40yearscollec- cations,cassettes,catalog,andservices, bothparentsandextendedfamily. tiveexperienceincustodyreformand write:CRC,300“I”StreetN.E.,Suite •CRCisdedicatedtohelping earlychildhoodeducation,CRChas 401,Washington,D.C.20002; phone childrenbypromotingfamily chaptersin32statesandfournational 202/547-6227202/547-6227(4272),fax202/546-4272, formation,sharedparenting, affiliateorganizations:MothersWithout oremail[email protected]@erols.com.CRChastwo mediation,parenteducation,and Custody(MW/OC),The websites:www.gocrc.comwww.gocrc.com(ourmain mitigatingtheeffectsofdivorce AssociationofAmerica(SAA), CRCsite)and info4parents.cominfo4parents.com(for andrelationshipbreakupsof COMAMAS,andParentingCoalition expandedparentinginformation).Speak childrenandparents. International,Inc. OutforChildrenispublishedfourtimes Vision Prominentprofessionalsinthefields ayearandissentfreetomembers. Li- •CRC’svisionisasocietywhere ofreligion,law,socialwork,psychology, braryRate:$20.ayear.braryRate:$20.ayear.Sendletters, bothparentsasignificant childcare,education,business,andgov- commentsandarticlesforpublicationto parentingroleintheirchildren’s ernmentcompriseourFamilyAdvisory Editor,CRC. lives.Childrenneedgrandparents, Board.

OFFICERSANDBOARD NATIONALSPOKESPERSONS: ADVISORS LarryGaughan,LarryGaughan,Professional MEMBERS GeraldA.Boarman,GeraldA.Boarman,Ed.D., RabbiMendelAbrams,RabbiMendelAbrams,D.Min. Director DavidL.Levy,DavidL.Levy,Esq.President AcademicEducation, FormerPresident,BoardofRabbis FamilyMediationofGreater JohnL.Bauserman,Jr.,JohnL.Bauserman,Jr.,Chairman MarylandandNorthCarolina ofGreaterWashington,DC Washington,D.C. SamuelA.Brunelli,SamuelA.Brunelli,CEO JudgeEugeneN.HamiltonJudgeEugeneN.Hamilton(ret’d), EloiseAnderson JonathanM.Goodson,JonathanM.Goodson,President IngridBough-Bell theJudiciary, TheClaremontInstitute MarkGoodsonProductions JohnL.Bauserman,Sr. Washington,D.C. Sacramento,California LosAngeles,California TeresaL.Kaiser,TeresaL.Kaiser,J.D. JudgeRichardA.WaldronJudgeRichardA.Waldron(ret’d) ElizabethHickey,ElizabethHickey,M.S.W., DavidBirney,DavidBirney,Actor Hon.BobGraham LeeYarborough ParentingEducation, SantaMonica,California U.S.Senator(D-FL) SaltLakeCity,Utah Hon.SherwoodBoehlert JenniferIsham,JenniferIsham,President HONORARYPRESIDENT JayneA.Major,JayneA.Major,Ph.D., U.S.Congressman(R-NY) MothersWithoutCustody(MW/ CatherineMeyer,CatherineMeyer,author, BreakthroughParenting, JimCook,JimCook,President OC) wifeoftheBritish LosAngeles JointCustodyAssociation CrystalLake,Illinois AmbassadortotheU.S. DwightTwilley,DwightTwilley,PopSinger/Author, LosAngeles,California JoanB.Kelly,JoanB.Kelly,Ph.D. Tulsa,OK “DearAbby” Vice-President,CaliforniaDispute GENERALCOUNSEL ResolutionInstitute,CorteMadera MichaelL.Oddenino WesUnseld,WesUnseld,VPWashington (AbigailVanBuren) Arcadia,California Wizards,Member,NBAHallof LosAngeles,California ElisabethKubler-Ross,ElisabethKubler-Ross,M.D. Fame,ParentingEducation, KarenDeCrow Author,Psychiatrist DIR.OFCHILDACCESS Washington,D.C. FormerPresidentofN.O.W. Scottsdale,Arizona SERVICES AudreyWise,AudreyWise,Ed.D.,M.A., Jamesville,NewYork VickiLansky,VickiLansky,Author/Columnist AlfredEllis FamilyCounselor/Mediator, ElliottH.Diamond Deephaven,Minnesota NewYorkCity Co-Founder,CRC JamesLevine,JamesLevine,TheFatherhood OFFICEMANAGER Reston,Virginia Project JulieMaggiacomo EVALUATORSOFRESEARCH PhyllisDiller,PhyllisDiller,Comedienne TheFamilyandWorkInstitute JohnGuidubaldi,JohnGuidubaldi,D.Ed. LosAngeles,California NewYork,NewYork CHILDSPOKESPERSON: D.RichardKuhn HadassahLuther,HadassahLuther,age13 MargorieEngel,MargorieEngel,Ph.D.,President Hon.DebbieStabenow U.S.Senator(D-MI) FAMILYADVISORYBOARD StepfamilyAssociationofAmerica GRANDPARENT Chairman, WarrenFarrell,WarrenFarrell,Ph.D.,Author Hon.FredThompson SPOKESPERSONS: CliftonAlanClark,Sr. formerMemberoftheBoardof U.S.Senator(R-TN) ErnieAshworth,ErnieAshworth,Member,Grand formerCRCDirectorof Directors,NewYorkCityN.O.W. OleOpry,andBettyeAshworth Development Leucadia,California

Page 2 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Fading Family • In1970,theproportiondropped thefamily.”Mymother-in-law,oneof to38.8% themostfamily-orientedpeopleIknow, Continuedfrompage1 • In1980,itwasdownto30.8% livesinanapartmentupstairsfromone • In1990,itwas25.6%. ofhersons.Yettheword“household” childrenheadedbycouples.Butthere • In2000,itwas23.5%. wouldbecountedagainstthefamily, hasbeennodeclinesincethen.Infact, Themuchrepeatedline,entirely becausetechnically,shelivesalone. between1999and2000,therewasa true,isthatforthefirsttime,married- Noneofthisshoulddiminishour modest,thoughperhapsstatisticallyin- couples-with-kidsfamiliesrepresentless concernforthedifficultiesfacedbychil- significant,increaseintheproportionof thanaquarterofallAmericanHouse- dreninsingle-parenthouseholds.You householdswithchildrenheadedbytwo holds. don’thavetobeaconservativetobe- parents. Butnoticeafewthingsaboutthese lievethatonthewhole,twoparentsare “Whenyoulookatjusttwopoints numbers.First,themarried-couples- farbetterthanone.AsJonathanRauch intime,”saysJasonFields,afamilyde- with-kidshomesdidnotconstitutea arguesinthecurrentissueofNational mographerintheCensusBureau’s majorityofhouseholdsevenin1960,the Journal,“childrenraisedinsinglepar- populationdivision,referringto1990 ageof“OzzieandHarriet”and“Fathers enthomesareatgreaterriskofpoverty, and2000,“youmissthefactthatthe knowsBest.”That’sbecausekidsgrow schooldropout,delinquency,teenpreg- trendshaveleveledoffinthelate1990s. upandmoveout.Ourgrandparents,if nancyandadultjoblessness.”Wecan Theincreaseinsingle-motherfamilies theylivedlongenough,knewwhatitfelt debatehowtohelpthosekids,butwe hasreallyleveledoff.Divorcehasreally liketobe“empty-nesters.” shouldn’tletideologyblindustotheir leveledoff.” Second,thebigdeclinesinthepro- problems. Howdoesthissquarewithwhat portionofhouseholdsmadeupofmar- Butitwouldalsobewrongifideol- you’vebeenreadingandhearing? riedcoupleswithkidshadalreadyoc- ogyledustoexaggeratetheproblemwith Amongthetypicalheadlinesthatturnup curredby1990.Thedeclineinthepast thefamilyinAmerica.Ifthefamilyhas inaWebsearchofnewspapersand tenyearsisquitemodest. beguntocomebacktogether,atleasta broadcasts:“IstheTraditionalAmeri- littlebitweneedtofigureoutwhy,and canFamilyHeadingtowardsExtinc- PeopleLiveLonger-- howtonurturetheforcesmakingithap- tion?”andacoverlineonNewsweek ManyHouseholdsDon’t pen. read“WhytheTraditionalFamilyis HaveChildren Itmakesbettercopyandprobably FadingFast.” booststalk-showratingstosaythatthe Mostofthesestoriesfocusonthe Third,partofthedeclineinmom- two-parentfamilyisgoingthewayofthe declineintheproportionofallhouse- and-dad-and-kidshouseholdsasapro- Oldsmobile.Thehappierbutmorepro- holdsthatconsistoftwoparentswith portionofthewholehastodowiththe saictruthisthatwhilethefamilydoes children.Herearethenumbers: factthatpeoplearelivinglonger.There facelargenewchallenges,mostAmeri- • In1960,45%ofAmerican arenotalotofpeopleover65whose cansstillbelievethatkidsneedtwopar- householdsconsistedofmarried kidsstilllivewiththem.Thisfactoflife ents.Andmostofthemstilltryhardto coupleswithkids. hasnothingtodowiththe“declineof behaveastheybelieve. Behavior of Real-Life Dennis the Menace was not Tolerated fromTheWashingtonPost,June1,2001

Ketcham’sfirstson,whowastalentedat dismantledhis,downtothe Ketcham Father gettingintroubleoftenwithhisever mattress,springsandcurtainrods. (pictured here) presentslingshot.“Mischiefjustseemed Dennis’sfrustratedmotherdeclared tofollowwhereverDennisappears,but hersona“menace”andacartoonwas and Son Never itistheproductofgoodintentions,mis- inspired. Close After directedhelpfulness,goodheartedgen- Thebehaviorofthereal-lifeDen- Parents Sent Son erosityand,possibly,anoveractivethy- niswasnottolerated,andtheKetchams to Boarding roid,”Mr.Ketchamwroteinhis1990 senthimofftoaboardingschool.The School autobiography,“TheMerchantofDen- sonandfatherwerenevercloseagain. nistheMenace”. “Dennishasbeenoutofmylifefor Inreallife,however,Mr.Ketcham anumberofyears”,Mr.Ketchamsaid wasestrangedfromthesononwhom awhileago.“it’sregrettable-there’sno HankKetcham,81,whofirstdrew thecartoonwasbased.Onanautumn communication.it’sjustoneofthose “DennistheMenace”fiftyyearsago dayin1950,whileKetchamwaswork- things...” diedMay31athishomeinCalifor- ingonadrawing,hisyoungsonDennis nia.Denniswasmodeledafter

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 3 The CRC View by David L. Levy, J.D. President, CRC

June28,2001 forcingorhonoringtheirvisitation susBureaufirstreportedbyCRCin rights.”Someoftheseparentswalk-away theChildren’sRightsCouncilnews- TheHonorableWallyHerger fromtheirchildren,butasSheehystated, letter,“SpeakOutforChildren,”Vol. Chairman,HumanResources manyaredeadboltedout.Manydi- 12,No.4,Fall1997/Winter1998is- Subcommittee vorcedmothersaredeadboltedout,as sue,availablefromCRC;latercited HouseWaysandMeans well. intheIndianaLawJournal,Spring Committee CRCbelievesthatmuchofthisdis- 1998,Vol.73,No.2,byMargaret Washington,D.C.20515 connectbetweenchildrenandpreviously BrinigandF.Buckley,lawprofessors involvedmarriedparentsoccurswithin atGeorgeMasonUniversity,Fairfax, HearingonChildSupportand 2to3yearsafterthedivorce,justasmany Virginia. FatherhoodProposals never-marriedparentsdisconnectfrom Sharedparenting(jointphysical StatementfromDavidL.Levy, eachotherafewyearsafterthebirthof custody)isdefinedbyresearchersas J.D.,President,CRC thechild. atleast1/3ofthetimespentbetween onbehalfoftheChildren’sRights RemedyRemedy:Anunderstandingofwhat achildandaparentonayearround Council “deadbolteddads”(andmoms)means, basis.Theknowledgethatparentswill coupledwithanexpansionoffederal havetocontinuetobeinvolvedwith OurChildren’sRightsCouncilhas fundsformediation,counselingand eachotherforthesakeofthechildis beeninvolvedinproposalsto otherlow-costprogramstopromoteac- apparentlytheinducementthaten- strengthenfamiliessince1985.Our cessofchildrentotheirnon-custodial ablessomeparentstoavoiddivorce proposalshaveledtolegislativereform parents. intheyearsfollowingtheliberal (includingthefirsteverblockgrantsto $10millionayearwasprovidedin awardingofsharedparentingintheir thestatestopromotechildaccess/visi- the1996WelfareReformActforaccess/ state. tationtonon-custodialparents),and visitationprograms,andbecausethese OneofthefirstactsofPresident greaterawareness,through13CRC activitieshaveoperatedforthepastfour Bushwhenhebecamegovernorof conferences,evaluationofdata,and years,atotalof$40millionhasbeen Texaswastosignapresumptivejoint reportsonwhy,forchildren,generally, spentinthestatesfortheseaccesspro- custodylawonJune16,1995(seeVol. “TheBestParentisBothParents.” grams.Eachstatereceivesabout 10,No.3of“SpeakOutforChil- Ourchaptersin32states,Washing- $185,000ayear,thelargestfederalpro- dren.”) ton,D.C.,Europe,AsiaandAfrica, gramtodatetoencouragecontactbe- Oneoftheremediestohelpre- havealsobeenthecatalystforimprove- tweenchildrenandnon-custodialpar- ducethenumberofdivorcesandto mentsinchildren’slives. ents. increasefinancialchildsupportcom- Inannouncingthehearing,Chair- Anddon’tforgetthattherearenearly pliance: manHerger,yousaidthat“Wealso 3millionnon-custodialmothers,many Increasecontactbetweenchildren willlearnmoreaboutcurrentpropos- ofwhom(likemanydads)are andtheirnon-custodialmomsand alstoenhancetheroleoffathersin deadboltedoutoftheirchildren’slives, dads.Federalgovernmentdatahas theirchildren’slives.” unabletomakephoneorpersonalcon- shownacorrelationbetweenfinancial TheChildren’sRightsCouncilsug- tact,access(visitation)interferedwithor andemotionalchildsupport. geststhefollowing: denied,thecustodialparentmovesfar 3)3) Arecognitionthat“SafeHa- 1)Arecognitionthatjustasthere awaywiththechild,achildisgivendeni- ven”ChildAccessCentersarehelp- are“deadbrokedads,”therearealso gratingmessagesbyoneparentagainst ingchildrenandfamilies. “deadbolteddads,”atermcoinedby theotherparent,etc. Whenparentsappearbeforea notedauthorGailSheehyina New 2)Arecognitionthatthestateswith judge,theysometimesdisagreeasto YorkTimesarticleJune21,1998. thehighestamountofsharedparenting whetheraccess(visitation)hastaken “Thenewerrealityisthe (includingMontana,KansasandCon- placeornot.Sothejudgewillorder DeadboltedDad--lockedoutofhis necticut) subsequentlyhadthelowest thetransferata“SafeHaven”ifone children’sheartsafterdivorce...,”said divorcerate.divorcerate.SeedatafromtheNational Sheehy,with“littleattentionpaidtoen- CenterforHealthStatisticsandtheCen- Continuedonpage6

Page 4 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 -- It Makes Sense Theme for CRC’s 13th National Conference May 4-6, 2001

Childandfamilyadvocates,research- ParentingAfterDivorce,SupportNet- providedbyErnieAshworth,member ers,writers,teachers,lawyers,judgesand worksforChildrenandFamilies,Access oftheGrandOleOpry,andHadassah otherindividualsfrommorethan30 TransferCentersforChildren,Research Luther,age13,CRC’sfirsteverchild states,GreatBritain,Canada,Bermuda Developments,andNewPoliciesand spokesperson. andIceland,attendedCRC’s13thna- Initiatives. Erniesanghis1966Number1Coun- tionalconferenceMay3-6,2001,atthe Audiotapesweremadeofalltheses- tryHit,“TalkBackTremblingLips”and HolidayInn,Bethesda,Maryland. sions.Seethelistofaudiotapeslaterin HadassahsangthenewCRCsong, Morethanhalfthepeoplehadat- thisissue.Ifyoucouldn’tattendthecon- “HeartheCriesoftheChildren.” tendedpastconferences,soitwasakind ference,audiotapesareaareaagoodway CRCthanksMarkRoseman,confer- ofafriendly“reuniontime”forthem, tofindoutaboutvarioustopics.Evenif encecoordinator;BarbaraSteinberg, andanopportunitytomeetnewpeople youattendedtheconferences,tapescan Ph.D.,speakerfacultycoordinator;Cliff workingonfamilyissues.Featured refreshyourmemoryofimportant Clark,conferenceliaison,andallthe themesofthe3dayconferenceincluded points. peoplewhoassistedincarryingoutthis ParentalAlienationofChildren, Entertainmentattheconferencewas conference.

SomeConferencePresentations (Morepresentationswillappearinthenextissueofthisnewsletter). Call Us Stepfamilies, not Blended Families byMargorieEngel,Ph.D. President,StepfamilyAssociationofAmerica

andtheprofessionalswhoworkwith Childrenactivelybalkatinferences Margorie Engel them.Itisacatchymediaphrasethat thatthestepfamilyistobeconsidered says Stepfamilies doesnotdescribeeitherafamilyrela- theirnewfamilyeligibletodemandtheir tionshiporwhathappenswhenatleast fullattentionandloyalty.Theyknowthey do not Blend, onepartnertoabringschildren havedividedloyalties.Considerthecon- They ‘Combine’ fromapriorrelationship(marriage fusionwhenbothparentsremarryandthe or ‘Fold Gently’ endedbydeathorchoiceofanunwed childisexpectedtobeafull-timemem- parent). berofTWO“blended”families. Stepfamiliesdonot“blend.”Ifone Parentsmustaccepttherealitythat Asageneralrule,thetermstepfamily isdeterminedtouseacookingphrase, theirchildrenhavelotsof“parents”now ispreferredbecauseitisconsistentwith try“combine”or“foldgently.”Children andthenurturingnolongercomesfrom thenamingofallotherfamilytypes.All instepfamiliesdonotlosetheirindividu- atraditionalfamilystructure,insteadof otherfamilytypesaredefinedbythe alityortheirconnectionandactiveat- tryingtoblendeveryone. parent-childrelationship(e.g.biological, tachmenttotheparentwhoisnotpart Itseemsfarbettertohelpallindi- foster,adoptive,singleparent). oftheremarriageofmotherorfather. vidualstounderstandthenatureofthe Becausethechoiceofstepfamily Astepfamilydoesnotrecreateafirst extendedandexpandedfamilywithvari- (andanystepattribution)isseenbysome family(i.e.blendintosomethingentirely oussegmentshavingpermeablebound- asnegative(thewickedstepmother newwithallpriorconnectionssevered aries.Itisnothelpfultoanyoneina treatedpoorlyasastepchild,etc.),SAA andtheformerexistenceobliterated) stepfamilytopretendthattheyare andstepfamilieshopethat,throughedu- andtherapistshavelearned(andre- blended.Theconceptitselfprecludes cation,thetermstepfamilywillacquire searchconfirms)thatwhenstepfamilies workingtogetherwiththeexpandedfam- apositive,orattheveryleast,aneutral expectto“blend,”theyaretypically ilymembers,anditisbyworkingto- connotation. doomedtofailure,becausethisisan getherthatwecreatesuccessful Referringtostepfamiliesasblended unrealexpectation. stepfamilies. familiesistroublesometostepfamilies

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 5 Conference Presentations Three Frequently Forgotten but Necessary Elements of Non-Profit Fundraising (but only if you want to be a success!) byKevinGallagher, formerDirectorofDevelopment,theHeritageFoundation,whoisnowassistingCRCinDevelopment.

worlds.Logically,thismentalitycarries 2)Youneedtotreat Gallagher overintotheirphilanthropicinterests,as donors,orpossible well. donors,withrespect. Proposes Ways Togettheirsupport,youhaveto to Raise Funds marketyourself,timeandtimeagain,as Withoutrespect,eveniftheybe- anorganizationwithaproductorser- lieveinyourcause,theywillfindan- vicethattheywilldelightin.Itmeans otherorganizationthatisdoingsimilar thatyoumusteducatethem.Youmust workandfundit.Theyarenotwalking takethemfromknowledgeofagood checkbooks,butarepartnersinacom- 1)Thenumberone causetobelieveinthisgoodcause.With- monmission.Clearlythisleadstothe motivationforgivingisa outquestionthisisatime-consuming thirdpoint,whichsaysrelationships beliefinthecause. work.Youmustbeon-boardforthe matter. long-haul.(Itiscertainlyabighelpwhen Youhavetomakesurethatyour theorganizationofficers/developersare 3)Relationshipsmatter. hopedfordonor,whetherafoundation, secondarilyfundraisersandfirstand acorporation,orindividualison-board foremostconvincedbelieversinthe Idon’thaveachecklistof10things withwhoyouareandwhatyoudoor organization’scause!) todoeachdaytobuilddonorrelations, provide.Youcannotassumethatthey Youmusthaveagoodcause,bepro- foritismoreofanattitude.Thetwo alreadyknowthis.Theyonlyknowwhat ductiveinbringingaboutthatcause,and wordsthatdocometomindarefriend- youtellthem.Youraccomplishments youmustcommunicatethatproductiv- shipandcommunication.Friendships andaccoladesareworthlessifyoudon’t itytoyourdonorsandpossibledonors. arehardworkbecausetheydemand leteachdonor,orpossibledonor,know Andwatchthefinelinebetweenthepre- communication.Developingrelation- ofthem.Youmustprudentlyprovethat sumptuousnessthattellsthemyouare shipswithdonorsishardworkaswell, yourorganizationisdoinggoodwork, doingitallforthefalsehumilitythat fortheyarethosenewfriendswithwhich thatitisworthyoftheirfunding.Just causesyoutosaynothingaboutyour weneedtocommunicate. becausetheyareknowntobeofmeans, accomplishments.Possibledonorsare Reflectionshowsthatthesetwo doesnotmeanthattheywillfundyou, intelligentandcanseerightthroughus. wordsshouldbringaboutawealthof evenifyouareagoodcause.Thevery Rememberthedefinitionofhumilityis information,particularlywhenstudies factthattheyareofsubstantial“means” “thetruthbeforeGod.” showthatashighas80%ofannualdol- typicallymeansthattheymakerespon- larincreasesforanorganizationcome sibleandwisedecisionsintheirbusiness frompreviousdonors.

Extended Overnights Somechildrenareseeingtheirpar- insulatesthechurchfromdirectfund- entsforthefirsttimebecauseofthese ingbythegovernment,butthechurch Continuedfrompage4 sites.EvenifCRCdoesnothaveagrant helpstodeliverthefamilyservices. tomanageaparticularsite,wedonot Somesitesaredevelopingparentedu- exists,orpossiblyatapolicestationif chargetheparents.Wedonotbelieve cationcomponents. onedoesnotexist.CRCoperates14 aparentshouldhavetopaytoseehisor Remedy:Again,expandtheaccess/ “SafeHaven”ChildtransferCentersin herchild.Asurprising40percentof visitationblockgrantstothestatesto$40 6statesandWashington,D.C.They parentswhousethesesitesarewomen, millionayear;alsoprovidefundsinthe arelocatedinchurchdaycarecenters. andabout40percentarenever-married “Fatherhood”billstoprovideservices Atthesites,parentspeacefullytransfer parents.Thechurchesoftenprovidethe suchasthese. theirchildrenfromoneparenttoan- monitors,butanygrantissupervisedby Thankyoufortheopportunityto otherfortheweekend. CRC.SupervisionofthegrantbyCRC presenttestimony.

Page 6 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Conference Presentations Welfare Reform byRonHaskins(conferencepresenter),IsabelSawhill,andKentWeaver

blackchildpoverty.Inaddition,after Althoughthe1996welfarereform Haskins: increasingfordecades,nonmaritalbirths legislationhasproducedanumberof Welfare Reform haveleveledoff;andteenbirthshave positiveoutcomes,thereareseriousis- has Led to More declinedsignificantlysincetheearly suesfacingthe107thCongressasitpre- Jobs and Less 1990s.Althoughtheevidenceofthe parestoreauthorizethelegislationby law’simpactonchildrenissparse,most October1,2002.Thispolicybriefdis- Family Poverty researchersconcludethatforyoungchil- cusses13importantissuesassociated dren,theresultsareeitherneutralor withthelegislationandthecontroversy slightlypositiveinareassuchasschool surroundingeachofthem.Theissues WelfareReform, behaviorandschoolperformance.Some include:fundingoftheTemporaryAs- AnOverviewofEffects ofthegoodnewsmustbeattributedtoa sistancetoNeedyFamilies(TANF)pro- toDate strongeconomy. gram,andwhetherstateswillretainthe ExecutiveSummary Moreover,theresearchshowsthat leveloffundingandflexibilityinprogram thereareproblemsassociatedwithwel- designandoperationtheycurrentlyen- The1996welfarelawproducednu- farereform.Forexample,someunem- joy;thegrowingconcernthatsomefami- merous,wide-rangingchangesinstate ployedfamiliesarefinanciallyworseoff liesareworseoffasaresultofsanctions policiesandpractices.Greaterempha- andsomefamilieswhoareeligiblefor ortimelimits,becausetheyfailedtofind sisisnowbeinggiventojobplacement Medicaidandfoodstampsarelosing orretainjobsafterleavingwelfare;and inwelfareofficesinmoststates.Employ- thosebenefitswhentheyleavewelfare theconcernthattoomanychildrenare mentbysinglemothers,agroupwhich rolls.Theseandotherproblemsmerit beingrearedbysinglemothers.Alsoat inthepasthasbeentheleastlikelyto carefulattentionandpossiblyactionby issueforthenewCongressiswhether workandthemostlikelytobeonwel- the107thCongressduringtheupcom- thereisenoughmoneyforchildcare,if fare,isontherise.Increasedemploy- ingreauthorizationdebate. moreassistanceshouldbeprovidedto menthasledtohigherearningsandde- workingpoorfamilies,andwhether WelfareReform moreshouldbedonetohelpmothers cliningwelfarepaymentstopoorand Reauthorization: low-incomefamilies. qualifyforbetterjobs. AnOverview Formoreinformation,contact Similarly,startingin1994,therehave ofProblemsandIssues beensubstantialdeclinesinoverallchild HaskinsattheBrookingsInstitute, povertyandthelargestdeclineseverin ExecutiveSummary Washington,D.C. OwnYourOwnErnieAshworthCD Whatbeautifulmusic!OrdertheCD“ErnieAshworthandFriendsSing OutforCRC,”andifyouarenotcompletelysatisfied,wewillrefundyour money. TheCD’sareonly$12each,includingS/H. Orderoneforyourfriendsandrelatives.Theymakeadelightfulgift! CopiesoftheCDmaybeorderedonlineatwww.gocrc.com,orbywriting tothenationalCRCofficeat300“I”StreetN.E.,Suite401,Washington, D.C.20002.Bulkordersof6ormoreCD’sare$10perCD,includingS/H. FormoreinformationabouttheCD,contactKeithBradford,ownerof KMARecords,256EastOldHickoryKittyWellsBlvd,Madison,TN37115, phone(615)612-3899,orwww.KMArecords.com AdditionalinformationmayalsobeobtainedfromDavidCourson,coor- dinator,CRCofTennessee,atwww.TNcrc.com,oremailto [email protected] WouldyouliketohelpsponsoraGrandOleOprycountrymusicbus tourthatwillvisityourcity?The“bus”willincludeGrandOleOprymember ErnieAshworth,13-year-oldchildsingerHadassahLutherandotherrising countrystars.ContactCRCforinformation.

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 7 British Embassy Benefit Reception for CRC

TheBritishAmbassadortotheU.S. SirChristopherMeyer,andhiswife, Willee Lewis, Catherine Meyer, CatherineMeyer,sponsoredabenefit David L. Levy (l to r) at British receptionforCRCattheBritishEm- Embassy Reception for CRC bassyResidenceandGardensthe eveningofMay3. Attendeesstrolledinthelovely EmbassyResidenceGardens andmingledinthestatelyMan- sionrooms.“Itwasaverydiverse audienceandawonderfuloppor- tunityforCRC.Itshowedthat peoplefrommanybackgrounds haveacommoninterestinsomeof theimportantissuesaffectingchil- dren,”saidCRCBoardChairman JohnL.Bauserman,Jr. “CRCthankstheAmbassador andLadyMeyer,andMrs.Willee Lewis,afriendofLadyMeyer’s,for thisevent,”saidCRCPresidentDavid L.Levy.TheAmbassador,Lady Meyer,Lewis,andLevy,allspokeat thereception. HadassahLuthersang“Hearthe CriesoftheChildren.” About200peopleattended;some werefromtheCRCconferencewhich beganthatday,andotherswererepre- sentativesofWashingtonmedia,politics, societyandphilanthropy.Theyincluded membersoftheSarnoff,Cafritz, Gildenhorn,Ourisman,Pillsbury,and Folgerfamilies,formerWashingtonPost ExecutiveEditorBenBradleeandhis wifewriterSallyQuinn,andSusan Eisenhower,granddaughterofformer PresidentDwightD.Eisenhower. Anumberofprominentindividuals tookpartinsponsorshipoftheBenefit. Belowisacopyoftheinvitationto theEmbassyreceptionthatwasmailed tomorethan1,200peoplepriortothe event. CRCisgratefultoconferencespon- sors:TheAnnieE.CaseyFoundation andtheFreddieMacFoundation.

WethankBladen Lithographicsin Gaithersburg,MDfor providingprintingservices toCRC.

Page 8 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Conference Awards

Attheconference,CRCpresented therewasaninverseratiobetweenfam- A2001Volun- awards.Theyare: ilyandpoverty;thatis,thestateswith teeroftheYear thehighestnumberoftwoparentfami- Awardto Mark A2001BestinMediaAwardtoCBS lies,hadthelowestpovertyrate.CRC Inzetta,Inzetta,J.D.,for EveningNews,JimStewart,correspon- hasdistributedthatdatatopolicymakers outstandingwork dentandMarkKatkov,producerdentandMarkKatkov,producerforthe eversinceBurmeisteruncoveredthe withtheChildren’s two-partseriesonAlternativestoDi- information. RightsCouncilof vorceLitigationJanuary22-23.Mr. Ohioonbehalfof Stewartacceptedtheawardonbehalf A2001 Wins Volunteer childrenandfami- ofCBSEveningNews.Itwasnotedthat ChildAdvocacy Award lies CBSEveningNewsand60Minutes,a Awardto Ernie CBSNewsPresentation,havealsocov- Ashworth, A2001Bestin eredothertopicsofconcerntoCRC, member,Grand ParentingAward,to includingthedamagethatinternational OleOpry,and KatCooper,KatCooper,Direc- parentalkidnappingdoestochildren. Bettye tor,Maricopa Ashworth, County,Arizona, ThirdAnnual Grandparent foritsEducational SonnyBurmeister Ernie and Bettye Spokespersons VideoProjectEn- ChildAdvocacy Ashworth forthe titled“FamilyTies LifetimeAchieve- Children’s Kat Cooper Wins andKnots” mentAward to RightsCouncil Parenting Award RonaldK.Henry, forservicetochil- A2001Child drenandfamiliesin AdvocacyAwardto Ron Henry, separationanddi- HadassahLutherHadassahLuther, Advocate vorce.Henryisa theChildren’s partnerinthe RightsCouncil’s Washington,D.C.lawfirmofKaye, first-everChild Scholer,Fierman,HaysandHandler; Spokesperson member,AmericanLawInstitute;and Advisor,NationalConferenceofCom- A2001Bestin Lyn and Bill Huerter Pioneers in Helping Families Hadassah Luther missionersonUniformStateLaws.Ron MediaAward to hashelpedmanycustodylawreform Channel11,Toledo,Ohio,Channel11,Toledo,Ohio,forbeinga ALifelongAchievementAwardto advocatesacrossthecountry. friendtoChildrenandtheChildren’s LynandBillHuerter,LynandBillHuerter,pioneersinhelp- ThefirstSonnyBurmeisteraward RightsCouncilbypublicizingTheGift ingchildrenandparents,andformain- hadpreviouslygonetoCandace ExchangeChildSafetyCenterinToledo tainingCRCofNebraska/Iowa,which Schooley,longtimefriendofSonny,in hasforseveralyearsbeenthelargestof hisname;thesecondSonnyBurmeister A2001Bestin theChildren’sRightsCouncil’s38chap- awardwenttoCRCPresidentDavidL. MediaAward to ters Levy. JerryAnderson, Sonnyhadbeen Anchorman,Chan- AnInterna- theengaging,re- nel11Toledo, tionalChildAdvo- sourceful,headof Ohioforbeinga cacyAward to CRCofGeorgiabe- friendtoChildren CatherineMeyer, forehisaccidental andtheChildren’s CRC’sHonorary deathinFebruary, Receives Best in RightsCouncilby President,forlead- 1996.Hewould Media Award publicizingTheGift ershipinpublicizing reachouttopeople ExchangeChild theneedsofchil- Award Presented in allcrossthecountry SafetyCenterinToledo Meyer Publicizes drenintheU.S.and name of late child whoneededhelp. Plight of Kidnapped aroundtheworld advocate Sonny Healsoevaluated A2001ChildAdvocacyAwardto Children Burmeister research.Itwas NancyBeals,ConnecticutStateRepre- BurmeisterwhoinasurveyofCensus sentative,forsupportingchildrenandthe Bureaudatain1994discoveredthat Children’sRightsCouncil Continuedonpage10

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 9 Conference Awards A2001Volun- Continuedfrompage9 teeroftheYear CRCheldapressconfer- Awardto Walter enceonCapitolHillJuly25 A2001Volun- M.Kuckes,M.Kuckes,for teeroftheYear dedicationtochil- honoring8statesfortheBest Awardto PaulM. drenandfamiliesin StateInitiativesHelpingChil- Robinson,Robinson,fordedi- Minnesotabyob- drenandFamilies. cationtothecause Kuckes Publicizes tainingstate-wide ofchildrenand Information for availabilityofim- Parents in Seeourwebsiteat families,andfor Minnesota portantcourt-ap- helpingthe provedaccess(visi- www.gocrc.comorthenextis- sueof“SpeakOutforChildren” Robinson has helped Children’sRights tation)information CRC for 16 years Councilinmany fordetails. waysfor16years

Book Nook

Run to the Sun byRobertDavé

370pages, andfleestoSanFrancisco,thefurious ticinginHawaii. softback,pub- Michaelfollows,unawarethathe’sbe- Theauthoris lishedbyLost ingstalkedbyasingle-mindedmurderer. married,andlives CoastPress,$17. InanattackaimedatMichael,Monais inastepfamilywith ISBN1-882897- slain,andeyewitnessesplaceMichaelat thechildrenranging 59-5.Available thescene,makinghimtheprimesus- inagefromeightto Robert Davé fromCRC(see pect. twenty-two. bookcatalogelse- Santorinithengoesunderground Onesceneinthebookissetatthe whereinthisissue). withaclosegroupoffriendsinorderto 1993CRCconferenceinBethesda, unravelaninternationalconspiracyof Maryland.Theauthorandhiswifealso ForfansofJohnLeCarreorother liesandsecretsspanningepochsaswell attendedthe13thnationalCRCcon- writersofadventure/suspense/intrigue, ascontinents. ferenceinMay,2001. youwillRuntotheSun.Notonly Santorinirecallssomeofthehorrors Intheinterestsoffulldisclosure, isthebookexceptionallywellwritten, ofthiscustodybattle.Oneinvolvesa wemustmentionthatthebackcover butcustodyandaccessproblemsform custodyevaluation.Ifyouhaveever ofthebooksaysthataportionofthe thecorereasonastowhytheaction beensubjecttoanevaluationwhichwas proceedsfromthesaleofthisbookwill andsuspensetakeplace. basedonassumptions,unprovenfacts, bedonatedtotheChildren’sRights NeverbeforehasCRCseenacus- andquestionabledata,youwilllove Council. todydisputeplacedinthecontextofa Chapter7-whereSantorini’sattorney WhetherornotCRCreceivesany suspensenovel.Itisaningeniousway demolishesevaluator“LargeMarge.” proceedsfromsales,wewouldrecom- tointroducereaderswhowouldnor- MargehadconcludedthatSantorinihad mendthebookanyway,becauseitis mallyneverreadacustodybookto notone,buttwo,personalitydisorders, aningeniouswaytoeducatesuspense learnaboutthetopicwithinthecon- basedonherownflimsyassumptions. novelreadersaboutthecurseofan textofafast-pacednovel.Thebookis Afterthefuriousattorneycross-exami- attempted“Parentectomy”—there- apage-turner! nationofMarge,thereaderisleftwith movalofalovingparentfromachild’s PsychologistMichaelSantorinilives thepossibilitythatMargewillneveragain life. inbeautifulHawaii,butthere’splenty unjustifiablytrytoremoveacaringpar- Callyourlocalbookstoreorli- oftroubleinparadise.Santoriniandhis entfromachild’slife.Hiredgunswho brary,andaskthemtoorderthebook! estrangedwifeMonaarebattlingfor willsayanything,regardlessofthetruth That’swhatsomeCRCpeoplehave custodyoftheiryoungsonanddaugh- —beware,suggeststheauthor,whoisa done,andwehavegottenseveralbook ter.WhenMonakidnapsthechildren clinicalandforensicpsychologistprac- storesandlibrariestocarrythebook!

Page 10 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Book Nook

This Child of Mine: A Therapist’s Journey byMarthaWakenshaw ReviewedbyJessicaBrooks,CRCStaffer

187pages,paper- childrenareoftenclassifiedashaving painofherownchildhoodandthesuf- back.$12.95.ISBN “ODD,”orOppositionalDefiantDisor- feringsofherpatients,Wakenshawfights 0967473608.Harbin- derandshuffledthroughacomplexand tobringloveandhopeintothelivesof gerPress. inefficientsystemofpaperworkandred allofherpatients,aswellasintoherown tape.Theyactoutintheirangerand life. Martha pain,oftenhurtingthemselvesandoth- Despitetheheartwrenchingstories Wakenshaw’snovel ers.Wakenshawattemptstounderstand withinthebook,Wakenshawretainsan chroniclesbothher thepsychebehindherpatients’actions, optimisticattitudetowardsherwork.She personaljourneyas andprovidethemwithwhattheycrave neverlosesfaithinthechildrenshesees, anadultandamother,andherprofes- most--love. orinthehealingpoweroflove.This sionaljourneyasachildtherapist.The Asanabusedchildherself, simultaneouslyheartbreakinganduplift- storiesWakenshawrecountsofherpa- Wakenshawcansympatheticallyfollow ingbookiswrittenbyaveteranpsycho- tients--abused,neglectedandtrauma- herpatientsastheytraveltheroadto therapistwhohasworkedasachild tizedchildren--aresimplyheartbreaking. recovery.Indoingso,shediscoversa therapistforfifteenyears. ReadersmeetJackson,Candy,Shelly needforhealingdeepwithinherselfand Bothbooksreviewedareavailable andahostofotherchildrenwhohave beginssearchingforherownpathto fromCRC.SeeCatalogofBooksinthis sufferedunthinkabletraumas.These spiritualrecovery.Overwhelmedbythe Issue.

Advertisement Connecticut CRC Celebrates Child’s Day

CRCofConnecticutcelebratedNationalChild’s DaybysponsoringaNewHavenRavensbaseball gameatYaleUniversityBaseballFieldSunday,May 3.TheRavensisafarmteamfortheSt.LouisCar- dinals,oneofthepopularregionalandlocalbase- ballfarmteamsintheU.S. Ms.ThemisKlarides,astaterepresentativesup- portiveofCRCofConnecticut,threwoutthefirst ball,HadassahLuthersangthenationalanthem,and “TakeMeOuttotheBallgame.” “Itwasaterrificday.Morethan2,000people watchedthegame,”saidJohnKristoff,CRCpro- gramdirector.CRCraffledboxseatsandabaseball batsignedbyalltheteammembers,withproceeds toCRCofConnecticut. “Thiswasadaytomakepeopleawareofthe needtorecognizechildren’sneeds,”saidMark Roseman,CRCConnecticutCoordinator. TheConnecticutchapteralsoplannedtoholda freeFamilyDayPicnicAugust12,attheAnsonia NatureandRecreationCenter,Ansonia,CT,with livefolkmusic.

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 11 Conference Snapshots

Page 12 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Children’sRightsCouncil 2001CATALOGOFRESOURCES forparentsandprofessionals MANYBOOKSDISCOUNTED! BuyatDiscountandSellFullPricetoYourGroup Make$$$orGiveCopiestoEducateJudgesorPolicymakers DiscountedBooksAreinBoldType

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BOOKS FOR KIDS The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985. How to facilitate honest and open A Heart Full of Love, written by Bette S. Margolis, illus- communication between adults and children at the trau- trated by Christie L. Kline. A wonderful book for that spe- matic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for kids. cial 7- to 9-year-old in your life who is undergoing parental SB-108 ------$15.95 divorce. SB-101 ------$15.00 My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and Area Madaras, 1995. The “What’s Happening to My I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James Body for Boys.” Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. SB-109 ...... Reg. $11.95 ✶Discount Price __ $6.00 HB-102 ------$16.95

Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by CNN’s Larry King and BOOKS FOR PARENTS Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both a child’s and a father’s perspective. NEW! SB-103 ------$12.95 The Unexpected Legacy of Di- vorce—A 25-Year Landmark Study, How to Survive Your Parent’s Divorce: Kids Ad- by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read Sandra Blakeslee, 2000. The best-selling one-of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents book that says many children of divorce as they reshape their lives post-divorce. suffer long-term effects from divorce. SB-104 ...... Reg. $9.95 ✶Discount Price __ $4.00 SB-200 ------$24.95

I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative Ph.D. Almost 300 co-parents and 83 children report on life feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. in married, divorced, and step-family situations. SB-105 ------$4.95 SB-201 ------$9.95

What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. 1994. A children’s book explaining how two families can be Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive better than one. guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. SB-106 ------$12.00 HB-203 ------$6.00

It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by The Divorce Help Source Book, by Margorie Engel, Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help 1994. Combines sound advice with hundreds of po- children understand divorce and sends a tential sources of help to assist you in getting the re- good message. sults you deserve. SB-107 ------$5.99 SB-204 ...... Reg. $17.95 ✶Discount Price __ $7.00

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 13 Divorced Dads, Shattering the Putting Kids First, by Michael Myths, by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. Oddenino. A must read for caring parents The surprising truth about fathers, children and professionals, by CRC’s General Coun- and divorce. sel. Includes a children’s bill of rights. HB-205 ------$24.95 SB-215 ------$9.95

For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Second Chances, by Judith Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. how to share your children with your ex- Based on ten year longitudinal study of spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC’s Florida co- the effects of divorce on adults and children. ordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ONLY! HB-216 ...... Reg. $14.95 ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 HB-206 ...... Reg. $18.95 ✶Discount Price __ $9.00 Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par- Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid impact of divorce on children through different stages in discussing the problems of children being raised by of their lives. single parents. SB-207 ...... Reg. $22.50 ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 SB-217 ...... Reg. $14.00 ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par- REVISED! ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. Jayne A. by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- Major. Nationally acclaimed author of “Breakthrough Parenting” gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as and “Winning the Custody War Without Casualties” partners, not enemies. SB-218 ------$24.95 SB-208 ------$23.00 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, NEW! 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- This Child of Mine: A Therapist’s Journey, by Martha pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. Wakenshaw. Stories of abused and neglected children who HB-219 ------$19.50 are travelling the road to recovery. This book can help other , by abused children to recover. Familyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to com- HB-209 ------$12.95 municating values. ✶ A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book HB-220 ...... Reg. $21.00 Discount Price _ $10.00 that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing patterns in their lives. The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to SB-210 ...... Reg. $10.00 ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc- for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author’s own re- each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- search, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for information. $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If SB-211 ...... Reg. $22.95 ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it REVISED! autographed (yourself, perhaps your children—give their Mom’s House, Dad’s House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., names). 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make SB-221 ------Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages ------Individual copies $10.00 to this classic book! Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary SB-212 ------$20.00 Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nation- ally renowned “Sandcastles” workshop. Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- HB-222 ------$25.00 solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. , by Robert Bly, 1996, author of “Iron Points out destructive habits by both sexes which, when The Sibling Society John.” Describes our culture as one where adults re- realized, strengthen families and relationships. main children, and children have no desire to become SB-213 ------$14.00 adults—a nation of squabbling siblings. ✶ The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Surviving Divorce, HB-223 ...... Reg. $25.00 Discount Price _ $12.00 by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. SB-214 ...... Reg. $16.95 ✶Discount Price __ $7.00 NEW! Business Dad, by Tom Hirschfeld. How Good Business- Ceasefire, by Cathy Young, 1999, syndi- men Can Make Great Fathers (and Vice Versa), 1999. cated columnist. Why women and men must Recommended by Stephen R. Covey author of The 7 join forces to achieve true equality; how that habits of Highly Effective People, and by James A. will help children, too. Levine, director, The Fatherhood Project, Families and HB-224 ------$25.00 Work Institute. HB-218 ...... Reg. $17.25 ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher, 1996, syndicated columnist. Ask the Children, by Ellen Galinsky, How we destroy lasting love. president of the Families and Work In- HB-226 ------$25.00 stitute, 1999. What America’s Children Really Think about Working Parents. Friends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, HB-235 ------Reg. $25.00 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult ✶Discount Price ------$10.00 daughters. HB-227 ------$29.00 Saying No Is Not Enough – Rais- ing Children Who Make Wise Decisions About Talking Back to Ritalin, by Peter R. Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. Drugs and Alcohol, by Robert Schwebel, 1989. ✶ What doctors aren’t telling you about the dan- HB-236 ...... Discount Price __ $5.00 gers of stimulants. HB-228 ------$25.00 Fathers, Sons & Golf – Lessons in Honor and In- tegrity, by Andrew Shanley, 1997. The experience of a The Assault on Parenthood, by Dana father who spent a memorable summer with his sons Mack, 1997. The author, a scholar at the playing golf and learning about integrity. Institute for American Values, describes HB-237 ...... ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 how our culture undermines the family. HB-229 ...... Reg. $25.00 ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 Mars and Venus in Love, by John Gray, Ph.D. 1996. From the author of “Men are from Mars, Women are Babyhood, by Paul Reiser, 1997. This from Venus”, An inspiring and heartfelt stories from is not a how-to-book. It contains humor- relationships that work ous stories by the star, co-creator and HB-238 ...... ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 executive producer of the NBC Series Mad About You. Reiser’s first book, Parent Power, by Roberta Kirshbaum, 1998. 90 Win- Couplehood, was a #1 New York Times ning ways to be involved and help your child get the bestseller list. most out of school. An inspirational handbook to help HB-230 ------Reg. $22.00 you take charge of your child’s education, from kin- ✶Discount Price ------$10.00 dergarten through high school! HB-239 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 Working Fathers, by James A. Levine, CRC Advisor, and Todd L. PIttinsky. A guide to help fathers as well as Like Father Like Son, by Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. mothers, employees and managers, succeed in man- This book is about experiencing life even when you aging the competitive demands of home and work. feel there may not be much happening. A warm, witty HB-231 ...... Reg. $23.00 ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 and wise collection of stories on being a man at mid- life in America. The War Against Parents, by Sylvia HB-240 ...... ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 Ann Hewlett and Cornel West.Praised by CRC in a letter to the Washington Post Angry Marriage (Overcoming the Rage, Reclaim- Book World when the book was pub- ing the Love), by Bonnie Maslin, Ph.D. 1994. A book lished in 1998. that will help you understand how to turn the anger in HB-232 ------$24.00 your marriage into a positive force. ✶Discount Price ------$10.00 HB-241 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $4.00

The Divorce Culture, by Barbara Father’s Day – Notes from a New Dad in the Real Dafoe Whitehead (1996). Worth reading World, by Bill McCoy, 1995. A wonderful book for all for its insightful views of marriage and divorce, but new and not-so-new dads. deficient in not recognizing the phenomenon of the HB-242 ...... ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 “forced away” and “pushed away” parents. HB-233 ...... Reg. $24.00 ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 LIFE with Father, LIFE Magazine, Healing the Gender Wars – Therapy with Men and 1995. A wonderful gift book for men. Couples, by Samuel Slipp, 1996. In Healing the Gender 82 photographs collected from the ar- Wars, the author brings to bear his erudite and thoughtful chives of LIFE magazine, depicting analysis of male-female conflict, from a modern psycho- images of LIFE with father. analytic, object relations perspective, practical in applica- HB-243 ______tion. ✶Discount Price ______$10.00 HB-251 ------$10.00

Rookie Dad – Adventures In Fatherhood, by Rick Peace with Your Partner – A Practical Guide to a Epstein, 1992. A hilarious and tender memoir by a first Happy Marriage, by Cranor Graves. time father. A wonderful gift for the man in your life! HB-252 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 HB-244 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 Letters From Dad – Lessons and Love, by John Building a Marriage – 10 Tools for Creating, Re- and Jack Broome, 1996. The book is a moving collec- pairing, and Maintaining Your Lives Together, tion of the letters John Broome sent his son, Jack, in by Cranor Graves. an effort to remain a positive force in his development. HB-245 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 HB-253 ...... ✶Discount Price _ $10.00

Who’s On Top, Who’s On Bottom – How Couples Men on Divorce, edited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Can Learn to Share Power, by Dr. Robert Schwebel, Spano, 1997. “A rare, unusually focused anthology of 1994. Women and men reveal their struggles with one original essays that both entertains and instructs” another. The core of each story is about people who (Publisher’s weekly). love each other, but are engaged in power struggles HB-607 ...... ✶Discount Price _ $10.00 and unable to share power as equals. The book pro- vides GOOD practical examples and solutions. BOOKS FOR STEPPARENTS HB-246 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $6.00 How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. Masculinity Reconstructed, by Dr. Ronald F. Levant. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the Changing the rules of manhood-at work, in relation- Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and ships and in family life. give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. ✶ HB-247 ...... Discount Price _ $10.00 HB-301 ------$13.95

Throwaway Dads, by Ross D. Parke and Making it as a Stepparent, New Armin A. Brott, 1999. The myths and barriers Roles/New Rules, by Claire Berman, that keep men from being the fathers they 1986. Former president of the Stepfamily want to be. “An essential guide not only for Association of America provides practical fathers, but for a culture that is not sure what help and insights. to do with them” (Gurian, Michael) SB-302 ------$7.95 HB-248 ------$20.00

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Suggestions of abuse, by Michael Monogamy, by Adam Phillips, 1996. All the present con- Yapko, 1994. “In clear and readable language troversies about the family are really discussions about Yapko shows what we know, and do not know- monogamy. About what keeps people together and why about the nature of memory, abuse, and re- they should stay together. In this book of one hundred covery” (Travis Carol, Ph.D) and twenty-one aphorisms, Adam Phillips asks why we SB-910 ------$15.00 all believe in monogamy. CI-106 ...... ✶Discount Price __ $5.00 VIDEOS PINS AND BUTTONS Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth The famous “Children First” pin. Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- 8 colors, with figures of seven chil- perience of going through their parents’ divorce. dren standing on a field of green V101 ------$25.00 with logo “Children First.” Two prongs. 3/4” high, 1-1/2” wide. Don’t Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- P101 ------$8.00 ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. Button created by Patti Diroff that says “Child support is more V102 ------$20.00 than a check, it’s being a parent.” With CRC logo, including children’s faces. 4 colors, round, 2-1/4” diameter. Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- B202 ------$2.00 tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- T-SHIRTS ate the child against the other parent. CRC 4-color t-shirts say “Help Stop Crime, Give Children 2 V103 ------$25.00 Parents” Specify size: child S, M, L; Adult S, M, L, XL. REPORTS Specify color: white or blue. ------$10 adults, $8 children Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Tort. Updated 1997. MUGS R101 ------$10.00 Each white ceramic mug says “Children’s Rights Council” and “The Best Parent is Both Parents.” A Mark Roseman cre- Parenting Plans. Three different parenting plans. ation. R102 ------$10.00 ------$8 each or two for $15. Add $2 for shipping first mug, $1 each additional mug. as a Child’s Right—a law review ar- ticle (1988), a legal brief with citations up to 1994 and a BUMPER STICKERS report by Section 16 of the American Psychological Asso- ciation describing “favorable outcomes” for children (1995) R103 ------$10.00

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CITY: ______STATE:______ZIP: ______Page 20 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Additional Findings that Overnights by Infants with the Other Parent Are Fine byRichardA.Warshak,Ph.D. authorofbookentitled,“DivorcePoison”tobepublishedinOctober,2001 ThisisasynopsisofanarticlebynotedresearcherRichardA.WarshakthatappearedintheFamily andConciliationCourtsReview,October,2000,aquarterlypublicationoftheAssociationofFamily andConciliationCourts(AFCC).Reprintedwithpermission.Itwasthesecondarticlepublishedby theAFCCin2000onthistopic,reflectingtheimportancethatthetopicofovernightshasbecome. ThefirstarticlewasbyresearchersJoanB.Kelly,Ph.D.andMichaelE.Lamb,Ph.D.thatsaidex- tendedovernightsbyinfantswiththeotherparentareo.k.(See“SpeakOutforChildren,”Spring, 2001).Warshakprovidesadditionalresearchontheimportanceofencouragingovernightswiththe otherparent.WethankCRCmemberBarbaraSteinbergforbringingthisarticletoourattention.

Proponentsofovernightrestrictions ductedanextensiveexaminationofthe actwithparentsinawidevarietyofcon- generallycitecertaintheoriesandcon- effectsofdaycareonchildren.There- texts.Overnightvisitscertainlyprovide ceptsofchilddevelopmentandempiri- sultsderivedshowedthat“Therewasno agreaterrangeofactivitiesthanjusta calstudiestodefendtheirrecommen- significantdifferencesinattachmentse- dayvisit. dations.Concernsabouttheharmful curityrelatedtochild-careparticipation. Highqualityrelationshipsarebest impactoftwodifferentnighttime Eveninextensive,early,unstable,or achievedwhenchildrenexperienceeach caregivers,ortwodifferentsettings,are poor-qualitycare,thelikelihoodofin- parentparticipatinginallaspectsofdaily mostoftenvoicedinthecontextofat- fants’insecureattachmenttomotherdid lifesuchasmorningactivities,daycare tachmenttheory(Bowlby1969,1973, notincrease,nordidstableorhigh-qual- rituals,meals,bathing,andbedtimehab- 1980)andpsychoanalytictheoriesof itycareincreasethelikelihoodofdevel- its.Overnightsarecrucialduetothe development(Erikson,1963,1968, opingasecureattachmenttomother opportunityforawiderrangeofinvolve- 1980,Mahler,Pine&Bergman,1975). (NICHDEarlyChildCareResearch ment.Bycontributingtotheestablish- Contemporarypsychoanalytictheo- Network,1997,p.875).Thisresearch mentandconsolidationoftheparent- riessharetheemphasisofthemother’s providesfirmsupportforrecommend- childrelationship,thiswillbenefitthe roleinearlydevelopment.Itiseasyto ingthatinfantsspendextendedperiods child’slong-termadjustment. appreciatehowBowlby’sconclusions oftimewiththeirfathersawayfromtheir MaccobyandMnookin(1992)rea- aboutmaternaldeprivation,andsubse- mother. son,“becauseourevidencesuggeststhat quentinterpretationsofhisideas,would theprobabilityofafathermaintaininga leadtoageneralreluctancetoseparate Don’tBanOvernightsin connectionwiththechildovertimeis infantsfromthepersondesignatedasthe CustodyMatters greaterifthereareovernightvisits,we psychologicalparent.Suchreluctance believethatvisitationshouldordinarilybe wouldextendtoseparationatnight.But Specifically,fathersshouldnotbe construedtopermitovernightstaysifthat doesthistheoryofchilddevelopment bannedfrombeinggrantedaccessto iswhatthesecondaryparentdesires.” holdinthecourtofempiricalre- overnightsincustodymatters.Gender Inconclusion,restrictions search?.... biasplaysafactorinrefusingtoallow requiringyoungchildrentospendev- AccordingtoMichaelLamb(1994), non-primarycustodyfatherstheoppor- erynightwiththesameparentafterdi- extendedseparations,includingover- tunitytotakecareoftheirchildrenover- vorceareinconsistentwithcurrent nightswitheitherparent,usuallydonot night.Thesexoftheparentshoulddefi- knowledgeabouttheneedsandcapaci- stressinfantswhentheyarewiththe nitelynotbetheprimaryfactorinde- tiesofyoungchildrenandtheirparents. otherparent. cidingthespecificsofacustodycase. Inparticular,theopinionthatchildren Intermsofdaycareresearch,infants Countlessstudieshaveproventime cantoleratesleepingduringthedayin whoareinpaidchildcarefacilitiesare andtimeagainthatchildrenbenefitthe theirfather’spresence,andinthepres- abletodevelopandmaintaindeepand mostfromarelationshipwhenthey enceofhiredattendantsindaycare secureattachmentstotheirmothers. maintainasolid,involvedrelationship centers,butnotatnightwiththeirfa- Thereisnoreasontosuggestthatfathers withbothparentsfollowingadivorceor thers,cannotbesaidtoexpressascien- wouldprovideinferiorattentionandsu- separation.Allpost-divorcecustodyis- tificjudgement.Itrevealsabiasoften pervisiontotheirchildthanthatofapaid suesshouldfocusonwhatisbestforthe rootedininaccurateassumptionsabout daycareworker.Fathersshouldnotbe child;thereforetheyshouldmaximize earlychilddevelopment. deniedaccesstotheirownchildrenon theopportunityforchildrentodevelop Expertswhoendorseblanketrestric- thesegrounds. andconsolidaterelationshipswithboth tionscannotprovideadequatescientific Inaddition,theNationalInstituteof oftheirparents.Accordingtopsycholo- justificationfortheiropinions.Courts, ChildHealthandHumanDevelopment gists,thebestwaytopromotedeepat- attorneys,andparentsshouldbeaware (NICHD)studyofEarlyChildCarecon- tachmentsistoallowchildrentointer- ofsuchlimitations. Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 21 IN THE COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN’S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC)

We are #1513 in the Children’s Charities of America (CCA). Look for CRC’s listing in the index of the CFC Brochure, then turn to the page given for CCA’s members. You may donate to CRC online at our website at www.gocrc.com

The Children’s Rights Council works to assure that children of separation and divorce obtain as much emotional and financial support as children of intact .

Some of CRC’s accomplishments:

❤ Credited with being the organization that convinced Congress, for the first time in history, to provide funds for access/visitation demonstration programs in 1988;

❤ The results of the above 1988 grants were so positive that in the 1996 Welfare Reform Law, Congress provided $10 million a year for all 50 states and jurisdictions to provide access/visita- tion programs;

❤ Publicized findings in 1998 from Census Bureau and National Center for Health Statistics that the states with the highest amount of joint physical custody in 1989–1990 had the lowest divorce rates in the subsequent years 1991–1995;

❤ Publicized findings that children with two parents generally have fewer problems with drugs and crimes than children with only one parent. Obtained changes in attitudes and laws in order to encourage a child’s bonding to two parents and ;

❤ Promoted the school-based “Banana Splits” program to help children of separation and divorce channel the transition in their lives into stronger academic achievement;

❤ CRC and its chapters established transfer sites for children, parenting education and other programs in MD, VA, IL, NY, NE, OH and Washington, D.C.

❤ Provided assistance to parents and professionals on how to get through the divorce process in the most peaceful, problem-free way, so as to take the stress out of divorce. Money that would be spent on battling between parents is available for the children.

CRC only receives funds that you actually designate!

The Children’s Rights Council is a national non-profit organization at 300 “I” St., NE #401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389. Phone: 202/547-6227 Fax: 202/546-4272. See our web sites at www.gocrc.com and www.info4parents.com

To obtain a copy of our Catalog of Resources, Directory of Parenting Organizations, Affiliation Book, Annual Report, or latest audit, write or call CRC. Thank you.

PLEASE COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST IN FEDERAL OFFICES, POST OFFICES, AND MILITARY BASES. IN UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN’S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC).

CRC works to strengthen families through education and advocacy. We favor family for- mation and family preservation, but if families break up, or are never formed, we work to assure a child the frequent and continuing contact with two parents and extended family the child would normally have during marriage. Our motto is “The Best Parent is Both Parents.”

For the child’s benefit, CRC favors parenting education before marriage, during mar- riage, and in the event of separation. We work to demilitarize divorce between parents who are involved in marital disputes, substituting mediation for the adversarial process, and pro- viding for emotional and financial child support. We also favor school-based programs for children at risk.

There are several ways you can contribute to the Children’s Rights Council:

❤ through the Combined Federal Campaign if you work for the federal government at any federal office, post office, or military base;

❤ in the Washington, D.C. and San Francisco Bay Area United Way campaigns;

❤ in the Virginia and Maryland State Employee Campaigns;

❤ if you wish to contribute to CRC through a United Way where we are not listed, please ask your employer if you can designate (write in) the Children’s Rights Council;

❤ in corporate campaigns throughout the United States; or

❤ if you wish to contribute directly to CRC, write to CRC, 300 “I” Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389.

Contributions accepted on Visa, MC, or AMEX credit cards.

You may donate to the Children’s Rights Council on our Website at www.gocrc.com You may also visit us at www.info4parents.com All contributions are tax-deductible. CHILDREN FIRST! THANK YOU!

To join, or for more information, call (202) 547-6227.

300 “I” Street N.E. • Suite 401• Washington, D.C. • 20002 • Telephone (202) 547-6227 • Fax (202) 546-4CRC (4272)

COPY, DISTRIBUTE, AND POST FOR UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS. AVAILABLE ON AUDIO CASSETTE 13th National Conference of the Children’s Rights Council Shared Parenting – It Makes Sense May 3-6, 2001 Bethesda, MD

TAPE # SESSION TITLE TAPE # SESSION TITLE

CRC01-1a The Perspective on Families: How Foundations, Gov’t. Agencies and CRC01-07 ACCESS TRACK: Establishing and Operating a Successful Access Non-Profit Organizations View Family Issues: Maurice Moore, Teresa Center: Frank Banner, Jr., Terry Cady, Lyn Huerter, Fred Wall, Kaiser, Malcolm Smith, Linda Mellgren, Kevin Gallagher, Moderator: Margaret Wuwert, Moderator: Alfred Ellis David L. Levy, JD (Part 1 of 2) CRC01-1b The Perspective on Families: (Part 2 of 2) CRC01-08 ACCESS TRACK: Assisting High/Chronically Conflicted Parents Share Their Children: Kim Boedecker-Frey, Carol Garges

CRC01-02 FRIDAY PLENARY SESSION: Parenting After Divorce: Philip M. CRC01-09 ACCESS TRACK: Why Supervised Visitation? Mary Olesh Stahl, PhD CRC01-03 LUNCH: The New American Family: What Was Wrong With the Old CRC01-10 The International Perspective: CRC Chapters in Africa, Asia, Europe One? (Kathleen Parker’s Material presented by Barbara F. Steinberg, and the UK: PhD) • The Disturbing Reality of Parental Abductions, Divorce CRC01-4a CREATIVE WRITING GROUP: Telling Your Story of Loss, Hope and and Custody in Japan: Walter Benda, Max Meadows Renewal: Mark Roseman, PhD • he Little Known Problems of Children and Parents CRC01-05 ADVOCACY: Playing a Responsible Role: Ronald K. Henry, JD Without Custody in the United Kingdom: Tony Coe CRC01-06 SATURDAY PLENARY SESSION: False Allegations of Parental CRC01-11 The Future of CRC: Questions and Answers: David L. Levy, JD; Alienation: Douglas A. Darnall, PhD John L. Bauserman, Jr., JD

WORKSHOPS

CRC01-12 Grandparents Are Parents, Too! Jean T. Castagno CRC01-25 Generative Parenting: Seeking Peace in the Mediation of Divorce: Mark A. Rogers, PsyD, Jeffery Leving, JD CRC01-13 Rebuilding the Bond: Pamela Stuart-Mills Hoch CRC01-26 Should Access Be Provided to Kidnappers After Children Have Been Recovered, and If So, Under What Circumstances? Maureen Dabbagh CRC01-14 Focused Thinking in Parenting: Teaching Children to Think & Solve CRC01-27 Alienation: How It Feels; What We Should Do About It! Ned Holstein, Problems Successfully: Stanley Posthumus MD CRC01-15 Gender Politics & Shared Parenting: Cathy Young CRC01-28 Alienation and Malpractice: A Case Study: Robert B. Gidding, JD

CRC01-16 Developments on Capitol Hill That Affect Children & Families: David CRC01-29 Caught in the Crossfire: Dispelling Myths About Child Abuse and L. Levy, Teresa Kaiser, Mark Veney Custody Cases: Dean Tong CRC01-17 Dads and Stepdads Parenting With Moms and Stepmoms: Margorie CRC01-30 In the Best Interests of Children & Families: Judge Larnzell Martin, Engel, PhD (Part 1 of 2) Judge Woodrow Lewis CRC01-17a Dads and Stepdads Parenting With Moms and Stepmoms: CRC01-31 The Politics of Parenting: Stephen Baskerville, PhD (Part 2 of 2) CRC01-18 Family Ties and Knots: Kat Cooper CRC01-32a Foundations for Parental Alienation: Judicial Restrictions of Shared Parenting / Cost Shares Child Support) Guidelines: Donald Bieniewicz; John Guidubaldi, PhD; R. Mark Rogers (Part 1 of 2) CRC01-19 Financial Child Support: Obligation or Burden? Teresa Kaiser, JD CRC01-32b Foundations for Parental Alienation / Cost Shares Child Support Guidelines: (Part 2 of 2) CRC01-21 Developmentally Effective Parenting Plans: Philip M. Stahl, PhD CRC01-33 Building Successful Partnerships: Parents – The Key to Success: Sue Gatton, National PTA CRC01-22 Healthy Men, Healthy Fathers, Healthy Families: Edward E. Bartlett, CRC01-34 Reunification Success Stories: Douglas A. Darnall, PhD Barbara F. PhD Steinberg, PhD CRC01-23 Interstate and International Custody Matters: Where Will a New CRC01-35 No One Is Immune: A Psychologist’s Encounter With the Tyranny of Administration Take Us? Richard Crouch, JD Conventional Wisdom: Robert Davé, PhD CRC01-24 Parallel Parenting Strategies: Keys for Success in High Conflict CRC01-36 Representing Single Custodial Fathers: Jeffery M. Leving, JD, Mark Divorces: Richard H. Mikesell A. Rogers PysD

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SEND TO (Please print or attach business card) Name ______Company______Page 24 SpeakAddress______Out For Children Summer 2001 Apt/Suite______City ______State ______Zip ______Phone ______EqualParents’Week CRC2ndAnnual September23–September30,2001 TrainingSession October13 ByPattiDiroff, CRCwillholditssecondannual CRCEqualParentsWeekNationalCoordinator alldaymeetingSaturday,October 13,2001(9a.m.to5p.m.)forchap- TheobjectiveofEqualParents’Weekistobringpeopletogetherwhobelieve tersheads,chaptermembersand thatparentalrightsandresponsibilitiesmustbesharedequally. membersofCRCinterestedinbe- Therightofbothparentstofunctionasaparent,therightofchildrentobe comingactiveinCRCoractiveina raisedandnurturedbybothparents,andtherightoffamiliestoexistandfunction chapter.Topics:chapterdevelop- asafamily,arecivilandhumanrightsinalienabletoallfamilies. ment,grantdevelopment,market- Thismessagewillbesentfromtheheartsoffamiliesacrossthiscountryand ing. aroundtheworld,whowillunitetheirvoicesthroughthesimpleactoftyingpurple Forthoseinterested,wewillhave ribbons. dinnerSaturdayevening,andhave TheEPWwebsitecanbefoundathttp://members.tripod.com/epweek. atalkSundaymorningonatopic Thisyear,thecandlelightvigilswillbeheldTuesday,September25,2001at8:30 relatedtothetraining.Thelocation p.m.(asthetimeoccursineachtimezone)toavoidconflictswithYomKippur. willbeatahotelneartheBaltimore Thethemeofthecandlelightvigils,“AMomentInOurHearts,AMomentOf WashingtonAirport(BWI).Hotel Solidarity”isexpressedinthespecial“5CandlesReading”forthevigils,whichis roomswillbeunder$85forone basedon“TheGrandparentsHolidayWreathofLove”andcanbefoundathttp:/ night.Thehotellocationwillbe /members.tripod.com/epweek/candlevigil.html. postedonaCRCwebsite, Twotypesofcandlelightvigilsarebeingheld.Personscanchoosetoholda www.gocrc.combyLaborDay,or publiccandlelightvigil(usuallyheldoutsideand/orinapublicplace).“HomeVig- contacttheCRCoffice. ils”areheldbylightingacandleinyourhomeforatleast15minutes.A“Home Vigil”canbeheldbyanyone,byasinglepersonlivingaloneorwithimmediate Everyoneiswelcome. family,andcanincludeasmanypeopleasyouwish.“HomeVigils”areveryeasyto do!Youdon’thavetogoanywhereormakeanyarrangements.Juststayhomeand reservethisspecialtimetofocusontheverypersonalfeelingsyouhaveforyour family,knowingyouwillbesharingthismomentwithpeopleallaroundtheworld whoarejoiningtogethertosharethesamefocusandlovefortheirfamilies. DonorsAre Personswhocannotattendapublicvigilareurgedtoholdtheirown“Home Appreciated Vigil”toaddtheirvoicesandstrengthenthemessageofEqualParents’Week. ComplementaryEqualParents’Weekbuttonsarebeingsenttopeoplewhosign CRCthankseveryonewhocon- upandcommittoholdingcandlelightvigils. tributestoCRCinthecharitydrive Inadditiontothevigils,otheractivitiescanbeheldaspartofEqualParents’ thattakesplaceinallfederalgovern- Week,includingpicnics,socialgatherings,gatheringswithorwithoutguestspeak- mentofficeseveryFall.CRCispart ers,andrallies.Anyactivitywhichincludestyingandwearingpurpleribbonscan ofIndependentCharitiesof beused.Peoplewhoareabletomakelargebannerscanalsousethesetoattract America.Wealsothankthosewho publicandmediaattention.“JustSayYestoSharedParenting,”“SharedParenting contributetoCRCintheWashing- IsAboutPuttingChildrenFirst,”“SharedParentingWorksWhenWePutChil- ton,D.C.,andSanFrancisco(Bay drenFirst,”whichpromotetheJUSTSAYYES!campaignaresomeexamplesof Area)UnitedWaycampaigns. sloganswhichhelpsendourmessage. Wealsothankthosewhocon- SignuplinksforvigilsandactivitiesareavailableontheEqualParents’Week tributetoCRCthroughtheirUnited website. Wayinsomeotherpartofthecoun- PleasecontacttheNationalCoordinator,PattiDiroff,at(909)591-3689. try,wherewearenotlisted,but whereemployersmaysometimes BeattheTaxMan: ChangeofAddress allowemployeestodesignateCRC. ContributetoCRC CRCdependsonvolunteerhelp Tokeepnewslettersandother andcontributionsforitsexistence. Keepworkingforchildren.Ifyou materialscoming,pleasenotify wishtoconsiderleavingabequest CRCthreeweeksinadvanceof Ifyouwishtomakeyourtax-de- orpropertytoCRC,pleasestatethe ductiblecontributiondirectlyto anyaddresschange.Sendold followinginyourwill:“Ihereby CRC,sendittoCRC,300IStreet, leavethefollowingtotheChildren’s andnewaddressestoCRC,300 Suite401,Washington,D.C.20002. RightsCouncil:___(stateyourbe- “I”StreetN.E.,Suite401, quest)___.” Washington,DC20002.

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 25 Forgive Them Their Debts ExcerptedfromanarticlebyCherylWetzsteininTheWashingtonTimes,June13,2001.

“Raywasateen-agefatherwhenhe championedbyformerSen.BillBrad- GeraldineJensen. wenttojailonafelonychargefor17 leyofNewJersey,judgesareforbidden “Thestatesweresortofpilingon, years.Bythetimehewasreleasedtwo fromretroactivelyreducingorforgiving billingunwedorabsentfathersforthe yearsago,heowedthestateofMaryland child-supportarrears. Medicaid-paidcostsoftheirchildren’s $14,000inchildsupporttodefraythe “Whilethislawwasintendedtostop births,paternitytestsandinterestonthe costsofwelfareforhischildrenandtheir judgesfromunilaterallywipingoutdebt debt,”shesaid.“Theresultwasthat mothers. basedonparents’sobstories,italsohad manyyoungfathersendedupwith “Today,Ray,whichisnothisreal theunintendedconsequenceofcreating $10,000indebtandalotofthemwould name,ispartofapilotprogramstarted adebtmeterthatcouldn’tbestopped. justrunandgounderground,”shesaid. byMarylandchild-supportofficialsto Thisapplieseventoparentswhoare “Thatmeantmanyfamiliesdidn’tget ‘leverage’his$14,000debt. hospitalizedformonths,givenlong childsupport.” “Undertheprogram,Rayhadto prisonsentencesortakenhostageina Editor’sNoteEditor’sNote:Debt-forgivenesspro- graduatefromacommunity-basedpro- foreigncountry. gramsprovidecrucialoutreacheffortsto gramthatteachesjobreadinessorre- Thereiswidespreadsupportforfind- “deadbrokeparents,”usuallypoor,un- sponsiblefatherhood,getajobandmake ingwaystohelpparents—mostlyfathers— wedfathers.Childrenneedtheloveand regularchild-supportpaymentsforsix becomeresponsiblefortheirchildren. supportofbothparents.Programsthat months. Groupsthatworkedwithpoorfa- providetraining,supportandeducation “Inreturn,thestateerased25per- thers,however,quicklyrealizedthat toparentsinexchangeforforgiving centofRay’sdebt. child-supportarrearswereamajorob- arrearagesthatwouldprobablyneverbe “IfRaydoesthisthreemoretimes, stacle. paidanyway—becauseoftheimpover- allhisstatedebtcouldbegone,”said “Withoutadebt-leveragingprogram, ishmentoftheparents—isagreatwayto TeresaKaiser,Maryland’schild-support “alotofguyswouldgototheirgraves encourageinvolvementofbothparents enforcementdirector. witharrearages,”saidJamesSmith,a intheraisingoftheirchildren,emotion- “TheBaltimoredebt-leveragingpro- casemanageratCFWD. allyaswellasfinancially. gram,whichwillbeayearoldinJuly,is “TheAssociationforChildrenfor WethankvisionaryMarylandChild beingcloselywatchedbystateofficials EnforcementofSupporthasbeenurg- SupportDirectorTeresaKaiserforbe- andadvocates. ingstatestofindwaystoofferamnesty ingthefirstchildsupportdirectorinthe “Child-supportdebtissupposedto forsomeofthedebtsowedbynoncus- countrytoinitiateafederallyauthorized beunforgivable.Underafederallaw todialparents,’saidACESPresident statedebt-forgivenessprogram.

LettertotheEditor CRCNeeds

Editor: ✵ Freeorreducedrentoffice ClaytonGiles,a14yearoldboyfromCanada,haswalkedandriddenhis space.Getataxwrite-offas bikefromCalgary,CanadatoWashington,D.C.inordertoincreaseawareness youhelpkidsandCRC. oftheinjusticethatFamilyCourtscaninflictuponchildrenofdivorcingpar- ents. 2,000squarefeetormore HemadestopsinseveralU.S.cities,includingcitiesinNewYork,Massa- anywhereintheWashing- chusetts,Maryland,Connecticut,Pennsylvania,RhodeIsland,NewJersey,Dela- ton,D.C.area(Maryland, ware,andfinallyWashington,D.C. D.C.orVirginia). ClaytonbeganhisjourneyfromCalgaryattheendofMayandwasexpected ✵ Volunteerstohelpwithfil- toreachWashingtonbymid-August.Youcanreadallabouthistripathttp:// legalkids.com/ ing,phonecalls,andwrit- Iurgeyoutotakeadvantageofthisonce-in-a-lifetimeopportunitytoshare ingletters. thisboy’scommitmenttochildrenandfamilies.Bygivingthislittleboyyour ✵ Ourchaptersneedcom- support,youwillbringvaluablepublicitytoyourorganizationandtotheterrible putersandofficespace. violationofcivilliberatiesthatnon-custodialparentsandtheirchildrensuffer. ✵ LawyerstowriteCRCAm- DeborahM.Colerick, icusBriefsonappeal. Charlotte,NC

Page 26 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 President Bush Issues National Child’s Day Proclamation for 2001

TheU.S.isoneofthefewcountries Eachyearforthepast6years,either LeeRechter,KristieSchwartz,ofSenator thatdonotcelebrateaNationalChild’s theHouseortheSenatehaspassedaone- Graham’soffice,RuthKiddofthe Day.Butthatmaybechanging. timeresolution.EarlierHouseresolutions Children’sMuseum,andCRCofficers. Forthefirsttime,aU.S.President declaredChildren’sDayinOctober.But Dr.ChristineBrooks,aformer hasissuedaproclamationdeclaringthat forthepastthreeyears,SenatorBobGra- stafferforSen.Graham,ishelpingto thefirstSundayinJuneisNational ham(D-FL)hassponsoredaSenatereso- makeNationalChild’sDayanational Child’sDay.PresidentBushsignedthe lutiondeclaringthatNationalChild’sDay Holiday. proclamationmarkingSunday,June3, isthefirstSundayinJune. ThewaythatMother’sDayand 2001,asNationalChild’sDay. “ThisnestlesitbetweenMother’s Father’sDayhavebeennationalholidays CRCandFOCUS,agroupbasedin DayandFather’sDay,justwhereit foryearsisbypresidentialproclamation. FloridaheadedbyMrs.LeeRechter,are shouldbe,”saidCRCPresidentDavid “Ms.RechteristhemotherofNa- nowaskingthePresidenttodeclareChild’s L.Levy. tionalChild’sDayandDavidL.Levyis Dayapermanent,nationalholiday. CRCheldapressconferenceonNa- thefatherofNationalChild’sDay,”said “Thatway,Congresswouldnothave tionalChild’sDayattheNationalCapital aCapitolHillobserver.“Bothhavebeen topassaresolutioneachyear,”saidMs. Children’sMuseum,attendedbyWash- workingonthisprojectforalongtime.” Rechter. ington,D.C.CouncilmanHaroldBrazil,

Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 27 Bills in Congress

Responsible incasesofchildsupport.Thisbillau- English(R-PA),providesinSection5 thorizestheSecretaryofStatetorefuse, thatataxpayershallbeallowedalimony FatherhoodAct2001 revoke,restrict,orlimituseofapass- andchildsupportdeductionsforan S.653(Senatebill)andH.R.1300 portiftheapplicantorpassportholder amountequaltothealimony,childsup- (Housebill). isanon-custodialparentwhoistheob- port,orseparatemaintenancepayments TheResponsibleFatherhoodAct jectofanoutstandingStatearrestwar- paidduringthetaxpayer’staxableyear. providesfor$77millioninfatherhood rant.Thewarrantsarefornonpayment Undercurrentlaw,thecustodialparent programs.$25millionwouldbefor ofchildsupport,wheretheamountin mayclaimthe$2,000childexemption. mediacampaigns,$50millionwouldbe controversyisnotlessthan$10,000. H.R.86doesnotchangewhocanclaim forblockgrantstothestatesforfather- ReferredtoHouseSubcommitteeon thechildexemption,butencourages hoodprograms,and$1millionor$2 InternationalOperationsandHuman parentstopaychildsupportbecauseit millionwouldbeforanationalclearing- Rights,phone(202)225-3345.CRChas providessomeincentivetodoso.Write houseofinformation.Themediacam- askedRep.Andrewstoprovideabal- toyourrepresentativelettingthemknow paignswouldincludeadsonfatherhood ancingamendmenttothisbilltodeny thatallowingaparentwhopayschildsup- duringprimetimeviewinghours. passportstocustodialparentswhohave porttodeductthepaymentfromhis/her Itwouldbetheresponsibilityforgov- beenfoundtobeinviolationofanycus- taxeswillencouragethepaymentofchild ernorsofthevariousstatestoallocate todyorvisitationcourtorder.Writeto support.Sendacopyoftheirresponse fundstostateagencies,non-profitorfaith- Rep.Andrewsstatingthatparentsare toCRC. basedgroupstorunvariousprogramsto sometimesincontemptorotherviola- encouragemarriageandfatherhood. tionofcourtorderedcustodyoraccess, TheaddressforallHousemembers TheSenatebill’smajorsponsoris andthatheshouldamendH.R.407to isHouseofRepresentatives,Washing- Sen.EvanBayh(D-IN),andtheHouse’s providefordenialofpassportsforthis ton,D.C.20515.Theaddressforall mainsponsorisRep.JuliaCarson(D- reason.Askyourownrepresentativeto SenatorsisU.S.Senate,Washington, IN).Thebillshavebipartisansupport, introducesuchanamendment.Let D.C.20510.Thetelephonenumberto andareexpectedtobepassedbyCon- CRCknowtheresponse. reachallmembersofCongressis(202) gressthisFall. 224-3121. CRCcollegestudentinterns,ledby TaxInterception internRonVarga,metwithBayh’sand Carson’sstafftomakecertainthatSafe H.R.869,introducedbyRep. ContactOtherCRC HavenChildAccessTransferCenters, MichaelN.Castle(R-DE),titledthe MembersbyE-mail runbyCRCandotherorganizations, ChildSupportFairnessandTaxInter- wouldbeeligibleforfunding.Thestaff ceptionActof2001.Thisbillamends Sendandreceivee-mailfrom saidsuchprogramscouldbefundedby titleIVpartD(ChildSupportandEs- otherCRCmembersaroundthe thestateundertheblockgrants. tablishmentofPaternity)oftheSocial country. Earlierthisyear,attherequestof SecurityActtoprovidefortheuseof IfyouareaCRCmember,e- CRC,Sen.Bayhaddedaprovisionto thetaxrefundinterceptprogramtocol- mailthefollowingmessageto thebillthatsaid,inconsideringfunding, lectpast-duechildsupportonbehalfof HarryPrillaman,CRCCoordina- oneofthefactorsshouldbeprograms childrenwhoarenotminors.Referred torforGeorgia,whoissupervis- thatexplain“thebenefitsoftheinvolve- toHouseSubcommitteeonHuman ingthisservice.Hecanbereached mentofbothparentsinachild’slife.” Resources,telephone(202)225-1025. at[email protected] WritetoRep.Castletoexplainthat TheSenatebillwasreferredtothe Dear Harry. I am a national SenateFinanceCommittee,(202)224- sometimesparentswillwinacourtaward foranotherparent’sinterferencewith CRC member who would like to join 4515andtheHouseversionwasreferred the [email protected] custodyoraccess,andthatH.R.869 toHouseWaysandMeansCommittee, distribution list. (202)225-3625. ContactyourHouse shouldalsoapplytothoseunpaidjudg- Thanks, membersandSenatorsandlendsupport ments.Writetoyourownrepresenta- Your name, mailing address, tothebills. tiveaskingforsuchanamendment.Let phone number, and e-mail address CRCknowtheresponse. CalltheCRCnationaloffice DenialofPassports at202-547-6227orfax202-546- SimplifiedUSATax 4272tomakesureyournational H.R.407,introducedbyRep.Rob- Actof2001 membershipiscurrent. ertAndrews(D,NJ),establishesade- nialofpassportstonon-custodialparents H.R.86,introducedbyRep.Phil

Page 28 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Family Facts

Fewer Teen-Agers Pregnant ExcerptedfromaWashingtonTimesarticlebyCherylWetzstein,June13,2001. “Theteenpregnancyratefelltoarecordlowin1997,reflectingaslideinpregnancy,abortionsandbirthratesthat beganearlierinthedecade,thefederalgovernmentsaidJune12,2001. Therewere872,000teenpregnanciesin1997,saidresearcherswiththeNationalCenterforHealthStatistics (NCHS). “The1997teen-pregnancyrate,whichisthemostrecentfigureavailable,was94.3pregnanciesper1,000teens age15-19. “Thisis19percentlowerthantheteen-pregnancyratein1991,whentheratepeakedat116.5pregnanciesper 1,000teens,saidNCHSresearchers.Thisisalsothelowestratesince1976,whenconsistentcollectionofnational pregnancyratesbegan,theysaid. “Thenewsis‘greatlyencouraging,’especiallysinceteenpregnancyratesfellfor‘allracialandethnicgroups,’ HealthandHumanServicesSecretary TommyG.Thompsonsaid. YoungSinglesAimatLastingMarriage Mr.Thompsonurgedparentstotalk totheirteensaboutpregnancyissues,as ExcerptedfromaWashingtonTimesarticle theycanhavethegreatestinfluenceon byCherylWetzstein,June13,2001. theirchildren. “TheWhiteHouseis‘dedicatedto “Youngsingleadultsareintenselyaversetodivorceandwanttomarryalife- long‘soulmate,’saysastudybytheNationalMarriageProject. doingitspart’aswell,”hesaid,listing budgetrequestsof“$64millionto “Theyknowwhotheywant--MissorMr.Right--andtheyknowwhatthey don’twant--divorce,’saidBarbaraDafoeWhitehead,whorunstheprojectwith ‘strengthentheroleoffathers’infami- DavidPopenoe,asociologyprofessoratRutgersUniversityinNewBrunswick, lies,$33millionforteenmaternity N.J. grouphomes,andequalfundingfor ‘abstinenceeducationandprograms “Thehardpartmaybegettingthere--makingtherightchoice,attheright timeandstickingtoit,’saidMrs.Whitehead,whogainednationalattentionwith thatteachaboutcontraceptionuse.’” IntheNCHSreport,Stephanie her1993AtlanticMonthlyarticle,“DanQuaylewasRight.” J.Venturaandhercolleaguescred- Youngpeople’saspirationsforlastingmarriagescomeatatimewhenmar- riageisweakeningasasocialinstitution,thetworesearcherssaidintheir‘State itedsexualabstinenceandincreased ofOurUnions:2001’report,issuedJune13,1001. contraceptionuseasreasonsforthe recentdeclinesinteenpregnancy, Marriagehasvanishedasthenormalriteofpassageforsexualinvolvement, parenthood,economicgrowthandreligiousandpublicadulthood,theysaid. abortionandbirthrates. “Otherfactorsaretheintro- “Instead,marriageisa“gainingpopularityasa‘super-relationship’--anin- tenselyprivate,spiritualizedunion,combiningsexualfidelity,romanticlove, ductionoflong-lastingcontracep- emotionalintimacyandtogetherness. tives,suchasNorplantandDepo- Provera,andagoodeconomy, “Ninety-fourpercentofnever-marriedadultsagreethatwhen‘youmarry, youwantyourspousetobeyoursoulmate,firstandforemost,’theresearchers whichmayhaveinspiredmore said,citingdatafromaGalluppolltakenthisyearof1,003adultsages20-29. teenstoavoidpregnancysothey couldpursueeducationaland “Anupsideofthe‘soul-mate’approachisthatahighpercentageofyoung people--86percent--believethatmarriageis‘hard-workandafull-timejob,’said careergoals,theysaid. JenniferManlove,are- Mrs.Whitehead.Thisis‘notacavalierattitude’aboutmarriage,shesaid. searcherwithChildTrends “Adownside,however,isthatcoupleswhoarehighlydependentoneach otherforhappinessarelikelytostruggle,especiallyunderthedemandsofpar- Inc.,saidtenn-pregnancyrates enthood. maycontinuetofallbecause abortionrateshavebeende- “Also,ifcouplessethighexpectationsfortheirmarriages,theymaynothandle turmoilwell.Unlessyouhaveaveryclearunderstandingaboutwhatdailylife cliningandteenbirthratesfell withasoulmateisallabout,thereisariskthatsomeonewillbeextremelydisap- inboth1998and1999.” pointedifthathighlevelisn’tattaineddaytoday,’saidMrs.Whitehead. “Intheirstudy,Mr.PopenoeandMrs.Whiteheadfoundthat88percentof youngadultsagreedthatthedivorceratewastoohigh.”

From Volume 16, Number 2, Summer 2001, Speak Out for Children, newsletterSummer of the 2001 Children’s Speak RightsOut For Council Children Page 29 NationalAffiliateOrganizationsandChapters

International Arizona Iowa-SeeNebraska/Iowa Nebraska/Iowa RitaA.Jones,president ConradGreene,coordinator LynandWilliamHuerter, BillClemens,treasurer CRCofGreatBritain CRCofArizona Kentucky coordinators CRCofPhiladelphia TonyandChristineCoe, POBox454 KevinO’Brien,coordinator KevinBoston,president P.O.Box11413 coordinators Scottsdale,AZ85252-0454 AnnSwango,director CRCofNebraska Philadelphia,PA19111 Children’sRightsCouncilofthe phone:480/970-5903 CRCofKentucky POBox45387 phone:215/844-2372 UnitedKingdom fax:480/970-5925 P.O.Box534 Omaha,NE68145-0387 38-40GloucesterRoad Florence,KY41022-0534 402/330-3353(voiceandfax) KurtKrusen London,SW74QULondon, California phone:859/647-2235 email:[email protected] CRCofHarrisburg/CapitolRegion England PatriciaGehlen,coordinator email:[email protected] website:www.htmp.net/oma 15BeaverRoad phone:011-44-2075899003 CRCofCalifornia website:www.pacegroup.org CampHill,PA17011 fax:011-44-2075844230 P.O.Box163801 NewJersey phone:717/763-0673 email:[email protected] Sacramento,CA95816-9081 Maryland EricPurasson,president fax:717/763-7183 website:www.equalparenting.org phoneandfax:916/635-2590 HarveyWalden,coordinator NewJerseyCouncilforChildren’s email:[email protected] CRCofMaryland Rights SouthCarolina-seeNorthCarolina CRCofJapan 417PershingDrive (NJCCR) WalterBenda Colorado SilverSpring,MD20910-4254 POBox195 Tennessee P.O.Box583 MarkEntrekin,coordinator 301/588-0262 OldBridge,NJ08857-0195 DavidCourson,coordinator MaxMeadows,VA24360 CRCofColorado email:[email protected] phone:201/434-7938 CRCofTennessee 540/637-3799 4715RanchCircle website:http:// email:[email protected] 2120GriffintownRoad email:[email protected] ColoradoSprings,CO80918-4118 members.tripod.com/~mdcrc/ website:www.njccr.org WhiteBluff,TN31708-5207 website:www.geocities.com/ phone:719/548-8798 phoneandfax:615/952-2498 crcjapan fax:719/597-2218 RobandSandraSnow,chairs NewYork email:[email protected] and email:[email protected] CRCofGreaterBaltimore RafeeKamaalandElizabeth DavidBrianThomas 2West39thStreet Schnee,co-presidents Texas 4-18-15-903 Connecticut Baltimore,MD21218 CRCofNewYorkCity DianaBuffington,coordinator KamikiTazawaSetagaya-Ku MarkRoseman,coordinator phoneandfax:410/889-9404 4West105thStreet CRCofTexas Tokyo,Japan156 CRCofConnecticut email:[email protected] NewYork,NY10025 18959DallasParkway,#723 phone:011-81-3-5317-0357 48ShepardsKnollDrive hotline:212/431-7724 Dallas,TX75287 Hamden,CT06514 Massachusetts 212/864-0318 phone:214/485-1518 CRCofSierraLeone phone:203/288-7827 CarolynBrumber,coordinator email:[email protected] fax:214/630-1143 YottroKargbo fax:203/281-1425 16UnionStreet email:[email protected] 3505CoveredBridgeLane email:[email protected] Holiston,MA01746 MarlinPierce, website: Woodbridge,VA22192 website:www.ctcrc.org phone:508/429-5282 CRCofAlbany community.dallasnews.com/dmn/ phoneandfax:703/897-7845and e-mail:[email protected] 13CampagnaDrive crctx EstherKargbo Delaware Albany,NY12205 7SanaiAbachaStreet JamesA.Morning,president SteveCarrier,president phone518/459-8474 Children’sRightsCoalition Freetown,SierraLeone CRCofDelaware CRCofMassachusetts (affiliate) phone:011-23-2-2222-8682 POBox1311 511MainStreet NorthCarolina/SouthCarolina P,.O.Box12961 Dover,DE19901 P.O.Box904 FredWall,Jr.coordinator CapitolStation 302/734-8522 Sturbridge,MA01566 4701WrightsvilleAvenue, Austin,TX78711-2961 email:[email protected] phone:508/347-5960 Building#1 fax:215/499-8056 NationalAffiliate Fax:508/347-9870 Suite1 email:[email protected] Organizations DistrictofColumbia Email:[email protected] Wilmington,NC28403 FrankBanner,coordinator phone:910/350-0688 Vermont MothersWithoutCustody CRCoftheDistrictofColumbia GeorgeKelly,chairman fax:910/350-0844 ContactCRCoffice (MW/OC) HillcrestChildren’sCenter ConcernedFathersof email:[email protected] JenniferIsham,coordinator 1325“W”StreetN.W.3rdfloor Massachusetts,Inc. Virginia websiteonly:http:www/ Washington,D.C.20009 POBox2768 DanCarrigan,Director MurraySteinberg,president motherswithoutcustody.org phone:202/232-6100 Springfield,MA01101-2768 CenterforChildrenofSeparation CRCofVirginia,Richmond fax:202/483-4560 phone:413/736-7432 andDivorce chapter StepfamilyAssociationofAmerica fax:413/732-3867 4950ParkRoad 9244RoyalGrantDrive (SAA) Florida Charlotte,NC28209 Mechanicsville,VA23116 MargorieEngel,Ph.D.,president KrisKline,coordinator Michigan 704/522-1331 phone:804/559-7090 LarryKallemyn,executivedirector CRCofFlorida BarbaraToth,coordinator fax:804/559-7072 650JStreet,Suite205 355ShoreDrive CRCofMichigan Ohio email:[email protected] Lincoln,Nebraska68508 Ellenton,FL34222 POBox653 MargaretWuwert,coordinator 402/477-7837 phone:813/635-0633 Edmore,MI48829-0653 CRCofOhio PaulRobinson,president 1-800/735-0329 fax:813/620-9068 517/427-5774 4069WestSylvaniaAvenue FathersUnitedforEqualRights JointmembershipinSAAand email:[email protected] Toledo,OH43623 andWomen’sCoalition CRC:$35.00forthefirstyear Minnesota phone:419/473-8955 POBox1323 Georgia BruceKaskubar,coordinator tollfreeat1-866-473-8957 Arlington,VA22210-1323 ParentingCoalitionInternational, HarryA.Prillaman,coordinator CRCofMinnesota email:[email protected] phone:703/451-8580 Inc. CRCofGeorgia 5905ChateauRoadN.W. Orcontact: fax:703/451-9321 BelindaRollins,president 808SpringharborCourt Rochester,MN55901 KevinO’Brien,director email:[email protected] 1025ConnecticutAvenueN.W., Woodstock,GA30188-5509 phoneandfax:507/289-5745 CRCofSouthernOhio Suite6156 phone:678/643-5924 (callbeforefaxing) POBox8805 WashingtonState Washington,D.C.20036 fax:678/643-5923 email: Cincinnati,OH45208 JamaicaFilgo phone:202/530-0849 email:[email protected] [email protected] phone:513/624-7223 CRCofWashington website:parentingcoalition.org fax:513/624-3703 1001133rdAvenue,S.E.,Apt.A Illinois Missouri email:[email protected] Everett,WA98208 CRCofGreatBritain TerryCady,coordinator ScottField,chair website:www.pacegroup.org phone:425/379-9666 CoMamas CRCofIllinois CRCofEasternMissouri email:[email protected] LouiseOxhornandLynne 905WayneAvenue P.O.Box220661 JamesWelty,president Ringwood-Oxhorn Deerfield,IL60015 Kirkwood,MO63122 CRCofNortheastOhio P.O.Box231304 phone847/374-0461 314/963-4668 2804E.CenterStgreet WestVirginia Encinitas,CA92023 fax:312/322-3553 alt.phonesScott314/838-7092 NorthKingsville,OH44068 GingerThompsonMcDaniel, Phone:760/942-4572 email:[email protected] MarkHoldenried314/772- ophone:440/224-0694 CRCofWestVirginia email:[email protected] 1169 109NorthArthurDrive Indiana email:[email protected] Oregon Charleston,WV25312 BobMonday,coordinator website:http://hometown.aol.com/ RoyNolan,coordinator phone:304/744-6534 StateChapters CRCofIndiana crceasternmo/myhomepage/ CRCofOregon fax:304/744-8657 P.O.Box2348 index.html POBox2095 email:[email protected] Alaska Indianapolis,IN46206-2348 Portland,OR97208 GaryMaxwell,coordinator phone:317/685-4656 JimMoore,president phone:503/232-8630 Wisconsin CRCofAlaska email:[email protected] CRCofSouthwesternMissouri fax:503/233-9390 contactCRCoffice P.O.Box92083 DavidDinn,coordinatoremeritus 619E.Silsby Anchorage,AK99509-2083 Springfield,MO65807- Pennsylvania phone:907/277-3980 GrandparentRightsinNew phone:417/889-2121 MichaelNieland,M.D.president fax:907/276-3980 Strength(G.R.I.N.S.) email:[email protected] CRCofPittsburgh email:[email protected] KayandRayBerryhill,co-directors 1400InvernessAvenue 0689CR5 Pittsburgh,PA15217 Corunna,IN46730 412/621-0222 phone:219/281-2384 TheemailaddressforFamilyLawAttorneyJohnL.Bauserman,Jr.,CRCBoardChairman,is[email protected] CRCGeneralCounselMichaelL.Oddenino’semailaddressis[email protected].Hiswebsiteiswww.oanglaw.com Page 30 Speak Out For Children Summer 2001 Thank you, Contributors!

Platinum Life Members (Contributorsof$5,000ormore) Gold Life Members (Contributorsof$2,500to$4,999) Anonymous RonaldK.Henry,J.D. KamilBotros Anonymous MichaelL.Oddenino,J.D. JonathanGoodson StuartCochran DonaldSmith DanielleThu TerryCady WilliamA.Toto ElliottDiamond

Silver Life Members(Contributorsof$1,000to$2,499 PaulAlexander PiotrBlass DavidDinn GaryMaxwell LewisSierra AsaBaber RobertBlumenthal ElliottFriedel,M.D. AnnMarini,M.D. JohnSiegmund,J.D. DonBieniewicz RalphandFrancesDella O.T.andLydiaGreen StevenNewell,M.D. RobertThomas JoanBerkowitz Camera ColleenJohnson AbePollin DavidBirney EdwardDavidian BashirKoujacji GarySantora,D.C.

Life Members(Contributorsof$500ormore)(newestlifemembernamesareinbold) LouAdolf WileyDobbs PhilipHolman RitzMiller BradD.Schultz PaulAlexander JenniferDumas MelvinHotman JosephMilling MarkSeymour WallyBabington TedEll RobertKaleopaa MichaelNieland PeterSokaris TravisBallard,J.D. RobertEisenbart AnnaD.Keller MarcOrlick MichaelSteele JohnBauserman,Sr. FamilyandSocietyInstitute GeorgeKelly PNCMortgageCorp.of CharlesandDonnaStewart JeffBeal HaydenC.Fisbeck PaulLeBon America RobertK.Thomas DavidBirney TommyFoster DennisJ.Lewis JohnW.Priestly,III AndrewP.Usher SamBrunelli MichaelFriedman,M.D. TheLevianFoundation, JohnReynolds VirginiaWellingtonCabot DennisC.Boytim CarlaGoodwin Inc. ElinaHumPratt Foundation ThomasD.CabotIII StevenGlinski IsraelLichenstein DeborahR.Riggs SearleWhitney RobertCarey JonathanM.Goodson NancyLuchs JackL.Robinson JohnnyP.Wilson SteveChan TomGreco,J.D.,D.D.S. GaryMarkoff,M.D. PaulRobinson RexWright CliffClark ThomasE.Harries GeorgeR.McCasland GregSchaaf AndrewZwernemann MaureenCorbett RobertHeisley MarieT.McManmon RuthScheer CharlesD.Deckard MichaelHirschensohn PaulMenchetti WilliamSchnellbaecher

CRCthanksallcontributorswhohavejoined,renewedtheirmembership,contributedtoCRC,ororderedmaterialsfrom CRCfromApril1throughJune30,2001.

JamesAinsworth DavidCourson DanielHogan T.J.Nagy TedSpear AdonisLeeAli DorothyCowling NedHolstein KevinO’Brien GeraldSquares KevinBaggett AlanCox ChuHsiang-Lieh RichardO’Neil LindaStetson DellaFayeBales JohnCristofano DonHubin LesterOstroy ThelmaStinnet DavellBanks RichardCrouch StevenHullman CaronOwen VivianStoutimore SandraBarkey RonDavey JuanitaHutson NicholasPalermo WilliamStrange GregoryBarnett MurrayDavis JohnInghram BahlirePatterson ScottStrohm VictorBats MichaelDawson PennyIshii LianaPayson PeterSullivan DavidBell HollyDeWolfe David&BettyJoc DonPeery WendySwallow RudolfBenda GregoryDeyermenjian Luthen TimPeterson WendySwallow BorisBergus MichaelDiAsio ThomasJohnson JohnPhair RichardTaylor AndrewBetz LeeDudinsky DennisJohnson RichardPhillips JackieTaylor RodBivings JosephDunbar JohnJolley RussellPowell JoleneThompson JackBlaylockJr. JohnDyer BettyKaczmarek CraigRaddatz TylerTodd CraigBorncamp RobertEier AldorenKauzlarich Darren&MaryAnn MatthewTuuri JamesBoslough HenryElbert WilliamKirchhoff Rhodes GreggValentine ThomasBosworth JuanitaEverett BarbaraKoman MichaelRigo DebbieVanicke JohnBoudreau DennisFenwickEsq. RobertKrollman JoAnneRisser-Hicks DanVernieroIII GrantBrigham ScottField PatrickLacy JohnRude DavidWagner SharonBrooks SteveFinucane JeannineLamp JamesSanchez GloriaMaeWagner LisaBrooks MichaelFlores DanielLovarin GarySavard ErnestWeeks NormanBurkart JoFogel A.JayneMajor GreggSchaaf BurtonWeiss ClintBurnett TommyFoster RichardMartin MarciSchmidt LawrenceWhyte OrringtonCaldwell ValFranz WilliamMcHenry RichardSchoen ThomasWiehl JamesCampbell QuintGarnos RosemaryMelichar JohnSchulte RichardWise StephenCarrier SubhenGhosh ConnieMiller ElizabethSedgwick LindaWood MiriamGalperCohen JimGilson AaronMoore CharlesSheppard DanWunsch MichaelCohen LaurieHand JoeMotacek JohnShinholser BurtonZiskind Del&AnitaCooper RobertaHernandez MichaelMurphy Mark&PattyShull Tony&MaryZizza KevinCordle Summer 2001 Speak Out For Children Page 31 ANON-PROFIT,TAXEXEMPTORGANIZATIONSTRENGTHENINGFAMILIESAND Non-ProfitOrganization ASSISTINGCHILDRENOFSEPARATIONANDDIVORCE U.S.Postage PAID Washington,D.C. Permit#881

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