Law Weekly Friday, December 5, 2003Student Life 3 Letter to the Editor: Terrorism — Why Turkey? Faculty Quotes To the Editor: was simply a proxy. Nothing could pean Union membership. In short, this new type of terrorism. As far as J. Harrison: “What the court Over the past few weeks, we be further away from the truth. Turkey is the model of modernity Turkish secularism and democracy does here is open door number have had the opportunity to talk to Upon reflection, Turks and in- for 1.3 billion Muslims worldwide. are concerned, fear not. The Turk- three, and it’s saying, ‘behind door members of the Law School com- formed observers know the answer It is a model that proves there is no ish people have enjoyed both for too number three is a goat, so you go munity about the recent terrorist to the question “Why Turkey?”: The inherent conflict between Islam and long to let them go. But we need to jail.’ They are telling people attacks in Istanbul. All of our attacks target the functioning of a a Western-style democracy. It is help. Similar to September 11, the that the goat was always there, friends and family members are Western-style democracy in a pre- this model that the Bin Ladins of threat comes from a vast and highly and now they’re just opening the safe and well. Many thanks to ev- dominantly Muslim country. These the world want to see fail. organized global network of terror- door and showing it to us.” eryone who expressed their con- terrorists believe that by inflicting Turkey is where the East and ists. It has been established that cerns and sympathies — your sup- fear into the population, they can the West meet geographically and the people who carried out the at- A. Coughlin: “She gets on the port is very much appreciated. The destabilize and eventually over- culturally, where both live in har- tacks received their training in ter- stand and says she said no, and reactions we encountered centered throw the democratic system. The mony. So is Istanbul. “What did rorist camps around the Middle East he gets on the stand and says around a single question: “Why Turkish model stands against ev- they do to my beautiful city?” cried and Afghanistan and funding from they’re passionate murmuring Turkey?” It is the same question erything that the terrorists believe one too many people captured by international terrorist groups. nos.” Turks have asked as well. We have in. While its population is predomi- TV cameras. Istanbul is a symbolic Turkey needs cooperation from Student: “How does that had our fair share of terrorism over nantly Muslim, Turkey has been a target for terrorists. It is a city all countries of the free world, espe- sound?” the decades, but the manner in republic since 1923 and constitu- where centuries-old mosques, cially the European Union. The A. Coughlin: “Everyone which these attacks were carried tionally secular since 1928; it gave churches, and synagogues stand E.U., just weeks before the attacks, watches pornography — I heard out is entirely new to the Turkish its women the right to vote in 1930 side by side against a backdrop of refused to place the terrorist group it on Fox News — so I’m not going people, reminiscent of September and is the most liberal democracy 60-story skyscrapers. It is a city that claimed responsibility for the to go there.” 11. The first of the twin attacks in in the Muslim world. Turkey also where you can roll out of a club in bombings on their terrorist list due Istanbul was on two synagogues infuriates the likes of Bin Ladin your tank top as the call to morning “human rights” concerns, whereas J. Harrison: “Baseball play- on November 15. The second set because it has strong economic, prayer is heard from the minarets the same list names several non- ers make a lot of money each year. came on November 20, targeting political, and military ties with Is- of the neighboring mosque. It is the violent organizations in Europe. If Manny Ramirez — this guy makes the British Consulate and the Turk- rael. Furthermore, unlike its Eu- diversity, modernity, and the free- we want democracy and human $20 million a year. He is a tre- ish headquarters of the London- ropean allies, there is no history of dom of our beautiful city and coun- rights in the Middle East and the mendous offensive player. But he based HSBC bank, in all killing anti-Semitism in Turkey, where try that terrorists want to destroy. Muslim world, as well as security is an example of one of those $500 over 50 people and wounding hun- hundreds of thousands of Jews flee- Will they succeed? Absolutely around the globe, the civilized world million airports with a $50 con- dreds. Looking at the immediate ing the Spanish Inquisition found not. Turkey and Istanbul remain needs to help Turkey’s efforts to trol tower.” targets, some commentators have refuge in 1492 and a second wave very safe for their inhabitants and become a model for those countries. suggested that the attacks were of immigrants was welcomed dur- visitors. The already-robust Turk- Eda Cerrahoglu ’05 A. Coughlin: “Defense attor- directed at Jews (and in turn Is- ing World War II. Turkey is also a ish security apparatus will quickly Suzan Sandikcioglu ’05 neys in white-collar cases are go- rael) and the U.K. and that Turkey member of NATO and seeks Euro- adapt itself to effectively deal with Kerem Turunc ’05 ing to go out and try to find wit- nesses and immediately get them to sign an affidavit. You want to “Santa Goes Sadistic” and Other Holiday Tales nail the story down so that when the government gets to them, you Christmas is a time when you throwing their firstborn child (me) beat them off with plastic Star Wars metal for the betterment of human- have their story first. When I did find out just how sadistic your par- to the wolves (my little cousins) and sabers. kind. this work, I was pregant with my ents are. Take, for example, Christ- seeing how I survive. “Oh, it’s just a These cousins are cute, and I Me? I get cranky standing in long daughter. The witnesses would mas sweaters. Mom always bought few hours,” Mom said. have all 83 wallet shots to prove it. lines. come in and go, ‘ohhh...the poor me one. I was that kid wearing the Just a few hours. So were those My parents actually think I’m get- I’m more like the Grinch. Yes, he pregnant woman.’ Those people sweater with teddy bears, the one BarBri videos. (Exam Question #1: ting off easy with the Santa job. I could be nasty. Bagging all the gifts would just sign anything.” that jingled because giant bells were Can Student A sue for lost sensa- never, ever help with Christmas like that. (Imagine if the Law School attached. You remember that kid. tion in both legs?) dinner. Dad taught me how to cook, woke up on Christmas morn’ and all J. Jeffries: “Let me tell you You pegged me with the dodgeball. But here’s the thing: I have which means I mac-and-cheese it the pink polo shirts were gone? what RICO basically says: ‘You But this Christmas, my parents enough cousins to fill a Toys-R-Us. like a bachelor. (I can also make That’s what I thought.) are guilty, and you are going to have something else in mind. In the They run around singing Rudolph Ramen using my car’s cigarette But you gotta feel for the Grinch. jail FOREVER.’” songs and leave MicroMachines in lighter. If I am ever trapped in the Isolated up in that cave. Forced to my toilet. When they see me at the middle of a freezing blizzard or L.A. listen to all the Who villagers sing G. Lilly: “So the witness re- Irene Noguchi, a airport they scream and suck onto traffic, I will survive, thanks to my and eat giant hams and not invite sponds that he had never seen first-year law my legs like 70-pound leeches. And Dad.) him. And the green shag rug he cocaine except on TV commer- student, is a Law now I hold the sanctity of their But deep down, I’m worried. wore? Christmas sweater. cials.... I guess he’s been watch- Weekly columnist. childhoods in my hands. If I mess To be a real Santa, you need a But the Grinch turned out to be ing some channels I haven’t found up, I will be stoned by Tonka trucks. heart of gold. You’ve got to be like a good guy. Deep down, I think Dr. yet.” holiday spirit — and since natural Don’t get me wrong. I love kids. I my friend, Eric*. Eric, who is so Seuss and Universal Studios were selection didn’t knock me off on the used to work at Disneyland, which modest I had to give him a pseud- saying it’s more about the holiday J. O’Connell: “I was told once playground — they want me to help has the highest kid density per onym, donated his car to a charity spirit than anything else. It’s about that the way to clear out an audi- with the most time-honored tradi- square foot in the world, aside from for sick children. Eric’s car also the tinsel and corny music and ence and have them running for tion of all: They want me to be that other Neverland (the Ranch). I doesn’t work. It was rejected by the seven-foot candy canes and mistle- the doors is to mention one of two Santa. sold glow-in-the-dark jewelry and junkyard. It killed two transmis- toe and plastic lawn deer and giv- topics to them: 1) Canada 2) Turns out all the adults are go- light swords. (This was in high sions and once dumped him between ing a little something back to those Worker’s Compensation. I was ing to some over-45-and-act-25 school, when I really had ambition.) here and N.Y.C., so he had to Windex who love you. And I gotta admit, painfully aware of this a few years party. I am not invited. I will be left We wore 50 pounds of frozen glow people’s windshields to get rides I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff. ago when I went to speak about at home with a truckload of Barbies necklaces and had to sell them all back. So sign me up, I’ll be Santa. Canadian worker’s compensation. and wrapping paper. (Grandpa will before we got frostbite. Every night But my point is that the holiday Hey, even Eric’s good deed paid I was nearly trampled to death.” also be here, but Grandpa also chain- we looked like we either had neck spirit is alive. There are plenty of off. His family sent him a car. It’s smokes and is not allowed near the rashes or had made out with Santas and Erics out there, people a 1984 Pontiac. J. Manning: “You just need to tree.) So it’s my duty to make sure Stephen Tyler. But the kids would with kind souls who fly from house If you’re feeling saintly, drive say the word ‘Chevette’ and people the deed gets done. go wild. It was like being some ra- to house all endless night without to where 29N meets 66. He’ll laugh. That’s partly why I like In short, my parents are handing dioactive Pied Piper — so many even a spiked eggnog to keep warm, Windex your windows when you this case.” me to the firing squad. They are swarmed around you, you had to or who give away large scraps of get there. SBA Notebook: Holiday Cheer, Mr. Bond Since this time last year, I have lic humiliation. This year, hopefully taught me better. Anyway, Elson is at 7 and 9 p.m., also at Old Cabell. Club and Holi- fantasized about bursting into the Ed can forget about becoming a great. Aside from not worrying that You can reserve tickets over the day Concerts both first and second library the night before the initial sailor and I can finally live out my pharmacy students will tell others phone by calling the Box Office right years and they really do make for first-year exam singing, “It’s the dream. about my medical history, I feel like now at 924-3984 or just go on over great study breaks before exams. Most Wonderful Time of the Year” I do love the holiday season. I am in good hands there. I suggest tonight and hope that they are not Whether you do go or not, enjoy the as joyfully as I can at the top of my Things are sparkly and when you that everyone go to Elson and get a sold out. Tickets for both concerts rest of your semester, good luck on lungs. I hatched the plan first year go to the doctor to get the flu vac- flu vaccination. They are free if are only $5.00. How often does good finals, and have a great break. After but did not discuss it until last year. cine, the nurses are wearing Santa you are on the U.Va. Insurance Plan. cheer come that cheap — especially all, it is the most wonderful time of I don’t think I have ever seen Sarah hats. I went to the Elson Student I heard on the Richmond news last around exams? I went to the Glee the year. Hobeika as excited as when I told Health Center today. I love it there. night that the hospitals in her about it. If there had been a Seriously, I do. When I was at Fredericksburg are filled to capac- booster club for the “It’s the Most Rutgers, students went to Hurtado ity with people with the flu. If you Students Show Their Soul Wonderful Time of the Year” plan, Health Center and it was terrible. are going to get the vaccination, you by Gretchen Agee ’04 Green — who also displayed his art. she would have been president. I About the only thing that was good should go soon, because what with On Thursday, Nov. 20, the Law Two LL.M. students taking the stage will always appreciate her support. about growing up a mile away from its arrival in Fredericksburg, the School showed its Soul in the Black were Jonathan Ooi on piano and where I went to college was that I flu is knocking on our doors and the Law Student Association’s new tal- David Yang, singing in Spanish had my own doctors in the area, so vaccination takes two weeks to kick ent extravaganza. Before the show, and English. Two group acts also Sarah Baker, a I never had to go to Hurtado. I heard in. audience members weaved through played: Portrait of Another, featur- third-year law many horror stories. It is in places Anyway, once you go get your art created by law students, includ- ing second-year Alex Mejias, and student, is SBA like that that people go to get their vaccine, you should swing by Main ing third-years Tiger Wells and A.J. Becky What’s Her Face, featuring president. tonsils out and emerge with an ap- Grounds for a couple of great events Fershleiser, and second-year Adam Greene, Scott Colton, Chris pendectomy. And to make things going on tonight and tomorrow Laurence Grimaldi. Third-year Termini, John Hyman, and “Kush.” Anyway, after telling folks about even worse, a bunch of the Rutgers night. Tonight, Friday, Dec. 5, at Nicole Davis and Professor Jody Beyond hosting, Professor Kraus it, a few took it upon themselves to pharmacy students interned there 9:30 p.m. the Virginia Gentlemen Kraus hosted the live program, reprised his rendition of “Amazing start a collection to pay me to do it. and used to look through the files will be performing their annual while third-year Jay Levin deejayed. Grace” on saxophone. The audience I was getting all geared up, and just and tell their friends who had what Holiday Concert at Old Cabell Two students performed original appreciated the unique talents on when I was feeling mentally pre- diseases. Now, I don’t know any- Hall, which is on the end of the spoken-word poetry: third-year display; third-year Maruti Racherla pared, the money got diverted to the thing about whether there is a pro- Lawn opposite the Rotunda. Also, Karen Francis and first-year Adria said, “In class, we get to see one side Ed Maginnis scurvy fund. Appar- fessional responsibility equivalent the will be Bullock. Others added vocal talents, of our classmates, but this was a ently, going a few months without in pharmacy school, but I know that holding its Holiday Concerts to- including third-year Summer Scott, wonderful opportunity to see a dif- Vitamin C goes for a lot more on the that sort of behavior wouldn’t fly for night, Friday, Dec. 5 at 7 p.m., as who sang gospel music; second-year ferent side of them. I was really Law School black market than pub- a lawyer. Professor Balnave has well as tomorrow, Saturday, Dec. 6 Tim Clinton, and third-year Brian impressed!”