Law Weekly 2017, 2018, & 2019 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner A Look A “Singles” Edition of Love in the Time of Corona...... 2 Scintillating Observations on the Law School’s Art...... 3 Inside: Professor Stevenson Intertwines Economics and Criminal Justice...... 3

Wednesday, 30 September 2020 The Newspaper of the School of Law Since 1948 Volume 73, Number 6 Mandatory around north Vaccinations: grounds Law, Ethics, Judge Bernadette D’Souza Thumbs up to and Religious Discusses Family Law and The Return of Liberties the Snacks. The third installment Drew Calamaro ’21 Her Path to the Bench is far better than the two Satire Editor prequels, Fellowship of the Snacks and The Two On Wednesday, Septem- Snacks. ber 23, the Health Law As- sociation hosted Professors Thumbs down Margaret Riley, Lois Shep- to people who herd, and Micah Schwartz- signed up for man to discuss the impli- multiple farm cations of a vaccination share slots when other mandate.1 Professor Riley people still haven’t gotten first discussed the develop- a single share. ANG is cer- ment schedule of a possible tainly shocked to hear this COVID-19 vaccine. She ex- experiment in communism plained the development pro- has failed. cess of a vaccine under the traditional paradigm, which Thumbs up to often takes many years, with the VLR EIC, who time allotted for manufac- asked his fellow turing scale-up, commercial editors this week, scale, and validation of man- “What is IRAC?” ANG is ufacturing processes. The end glad that you don’t need of the process involves regu- a strong foundation in le- latory approval and licensure gal research and writing to of the vaccine. have a shining legal career. The development of a COVID-19 vaccine has been Thumbs down largely facilitated by the fed- Pictured: Judge Bernadette D’Souza, President of the National Association of Women Judges and Family Court Judge of the Orleans Parish Civil District Court. Photo Courtesy of orleansdc.com. to Barbri for al- eral government’s “Operation lowing people Warp Speed,”2 which has the Rachel Martin ’23 and abroad, and been the re- was another vacancy. As a re- who directly bill stated goal of producing and Staff Editor cipient of numerous awards. sult, a single case or ongoing their firms to sponsor a delivering 300 million doses She is also the proud mother of issue would often be handled public interest student. of safe and effective vaccines On Thursday, September three children. by multiple judges who never Imma let you finish, Barbri, by January 2021. Accelerat- 24, UVA Law’s chapter of the After the introduction, really became familiar with but Themis offers their full ing the process, however, American Constitution Soci- Judge D’Souza’s first words the background. To rectify product to the public inter- begets a whole host of is- ety (ACS) and Virginia Law were, “Students will won- this, Judge D’Souza managed est students. sues. First, Professor Riley Women (VLW) virtually host- der, ‘Where does she have the to convince her Senator to was clear to draw a distinc- ed Judge Bernadette D’Souza, time to do what she’s doing?’ introduce a bill creating two Thumbs up to tion between emergency use President of the National As- It’s when you find the passion dedicated family law seats in the tiny white authorization and regulatory sociation of Women Judges that you find the time.” Judge Orleans Parish, which subse- flags on approval. A safe and effec- (NAWJ) and Family Court D’Souza explained that after quently passed. In 2012, Judge in front of the tive COVID-19 vaccine will Judge of the Orleans Parish graduating, she could have D’Souza became the first per- Law School. ANG thinks not be approved at any point Civil District Court. Morgan joined any law firm, but she son elected to the position. it’s about time we admitted in the near future. Instead, a Maloney ’22, the Director of was “so taken with the work “It was humbling to re- coronavirus won and just vaccine will be authorized for Programming for ACS, ar- being done at NOLA that [she] ceive the support of the New gave up. emergency use by the FDA, ranged the event. “I think it is wanted to dedicate [her] ca- Orleans community,” Judge which may limit the num- so important for all law stu- reer” to public interest work. D’Souza said. She linked the Thumbs down ber of people who receive it. dents, but especially students Judge D’Souza gave high overwhelming support she re- to UVA’s more Second, manufacturers and from underrepresented com- praise to her students at Tu- ceived with the work she had stringent COVID governments must overcome munities, to think about ca- lane, crediting them with the done for the community over procedures can- supply chain issues. There reers in the judiciary while still idea to start a domestic vio- many years, and she recom- celling free headshots. ANG happens to be a global glass in law school,” Maloney said. lence clinic and applying for mended that anyone interest- wasted both a shower and shortage, which may cause “I hope that the event inspired the grant to fund it. ed in a state or local judgeship ANG’s last Tide Pod to get shortage in vials necessary to some students who had not “It is the students that can similarly work to serve their ready to dazzle the camera, store the vaccine. Some vac- formerly considered a career make a difference with some communities, because it is the only to have the rug pulled cines also have to be kept at as a judge to begin to think of the social issues that we people that elect the judge—or out because of the new out- temperatures as low as -70 about that as a potential career are confronted with in our in the case of most non-federal side mask mandate. degrees Fahrenheit. There path.” country,” Judge D’Souza said. appointed judges, vote to re- are very few companies with ACS President Wes Williams Judge D’Souza encourages tain them. Thumbs up to the capacity to ship and store ’22 introduced Judge D’Souza. students to become involved The most difficult thing our benevolent vaccines at such low tempera- Judge D’Souza graduated from in clinics, policy advocacy, and about being a judge, Judge dictator Kather- tures, and their ability to ship Tulane University School of other community service proj- D’Souza observed, is the in- ine Janes for try- billions of vaccines across the Law in 1992. Before becoming ects while in law school. “Just ability to advocate for one side, ing her best to distinguish globe will be put to the test. a judge, she worked in public because you’re not a lawyer as judges must remain neutral. law students from under- Professor Shepherd then interest law for eighteen years does not mean you cannot ad- “Besides having the knowl- grads. It’s an uphill battle discussed Supreme Court representing indigent clients vocate for people in your com- edge, experience, [and] exper- when law students live in in domestic violence and oth- munity.” tise . . . to hear these cases, it is the dorms of Pav, go to the 1 I also had the opportu- er family law cases at places Judge D’Souza first started so critical that a judge has the Corner and drink PBR, and nity to contribute a few com- such as New Orleans Legal As- thinking about becoming a proper demeanor and judicial stress out over assignments ments at the end of the event sistance (NOLA) and South- judge when she realized the temperament to judge from we’ll forget in one year. once the professors were fin- east Louisiana Legal Services. problems caused by not hav- the bench.” ished speaking since this is Judge D’Souza also taught ing a dedicated judicial seat for However, Judge D’Souza Thumbs up my current area of research. family law and domestic vio- family law matters in her lo- still finds ways to ensure equal to the nomina- lence as an adjunct professor cal civil district court. Because access to justice. One of the tion of Amy Co- 2 A name Professor Riley at Tulane. She has served on none of the judges wanted to main ways she does this is by ney Barrett. UVA attributed to the involvement numerous community and handle the domestic violence working to help connect peo- Law has to get those Scotus of the military. national boards and commit- cases, they were assigned to ple to community resources. clerkships one way or an- tees, been invited to speak at the newest judges, who would other. VACCINE page 2 numerous events both at home then rotate out as soon as there JUDGE page 2 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 30 September 2020 petition in order for relief of Jacobson decision, courts have Washington mandated his JUDGE this type to be granted. VACCINE consistently held that states troops be immunized to small- continued from page 1 Judge D’Souza gave a lot continued from page 1 are not obligated to provide pox through variolation, which of advice for people of color, religious and personal belief involved exposing un-immu- Sixty-five to seventy percent of mothers, and other women precedent regarding mandates exemptions to vaccinations. nized individuals to a small the people coming before her entering practice or looking and the right to refuse medi- There are currently forty-five amount of the active virus.4 lack legal representation, so to join the judiciary. As an im- cal care. First, she discussed states, including Washington This brought troop infection she set up a self-help desk in migrant from India, the only Jacobson v. Massachusetts, D.C., that grant religious ex- rates of smallpox from over 20 the court, and she arranges for woman in her graduating a seminal public health deci- emptions for people who have percent down to 1 percent. The lawyers from pro bono projects class, and the mother of three sion that dealt with the state’s religious objections to vaccines first mass-vaccination event in to help people do things such children, Judge D’Souza faced authority to mandate vaccina- for school children. Fifteen the United States occurred in as fill out petitions. In addi- many challenges throughout tions. In 1902, Rev. Henning states allow philosophical ex- 1803 in the Old Natchez Dis- tion to legal matters, she also her legal career. However, her Jacobson attempted to refuse emptions for those who object trict of the Mississippi Terri- works to connect people with passion for equal justice drove a smallpox vaccine that the city because of personal, moral, or tory. In the midst of a smallpox resources for housing, employ- her forward, and she strongly of Cambridge had mandated other beliefs.3 States including outbreak, the governor enacted ment, and food, on top of ad- recommended that others in- for its citizens. The penalty California, New York, and New stay-at-home orders, subject- dressing other issues that often terested in public interest work of refusal at the time was five Jersey have either removed or ing those who violated the or- coincide with family law cases. pursue it. “In doing this work dollars. Jacobson sued and attempted to remove religious der and ventured out in public Another way that Judge you are able to confront [in- appealed his repeated losses and philosophical exemptions to a $100 fine.5 The governor D’Souza helps those facing do- equalities] head on and obtain all the way up to the Supreme in the wake of recent measles acquired the smallpox vaccine mestic violence is through con- justice in coming before the Court, which sided with the outbreaks. and provided it to two-thirds fiscating weapons from per- court . . . . Once you develop state of Massachusetts. Profes- Professor Schwartzman of the city’s 1400 residents. petrators and issuing various that confidence and know that sor Shepherd then discussed also discussed the future of re- While the United States protective and relief orders. you can get justice, you just Zucht v. King, which upheld ligious exemptions in the wake has a long history of utilizing Judge D’Souza recounted an work at it.” Judge D’Souza also school vaccination mandates of Supreme Court Justice Ruth vaccines or immunizations to incident from her days as a highly recommended taking even in the absence of an on- Bader Ginsburg’s death. Courts achieve herd immunity, it is practicing attorney when one advantage of the many men- going pandemic. are usually not in the business politically unlikely that a feder- of her clients was gunned down torship and networking op- These cases, however, of creating religious exemp- al mandate is around the cor- on the courthouse steps mo- portunities available through were decided in an era before tions to vaccine mandates. No ner. Furthermore, as Professor ments after winning her case. organizations such as NAWJ. the courts recognized a right to court—to Professor Schwartz- Riley pointed out, a mandated As a judge, she helps prevent The best time to start is now as refuse medical care. Professor man’s knowledge—has created vaccine should be both highly similar incidents from occur- a law student. Finally, Judge Shepherd discussed the pos- a religious exemption to vac- safe and effective in a sig- ring by having her deputy re- D’Souza emphasized the im- sibility that a forced-vaccine cines where none previously nificant proportion of people. trieve all of the weapons from portance of balance. “I think it mandate violates the right to existed. However, if a conser- Achieving these two baseline a household as soon as there is is so important to have a bal- refuse medical care, and also vative Supreme Court Justice requirements in the COVID-19 a finding of domestic violence anced life. It is difficult because implicates the issue of whether were appointed to replace late vaccine may be difficult. Our occurring in the home. Judge when you have children, you the federal government can Justice Ginsburg, that prec- best hope remains in people’s D’Souza praised the many re- want to be able to know who use quarantine precedents to edent could change if the issue trust in a vaccine’s safety and cent advances in Louisiana they are as they are growing justify one. She reiterated that comes before the Court again. their willingness to receive it. law allowing this and other up. Make time for the family. it is important to remember Toward the end of the dis- --- protections. She advised that it There are certain times of the that the Jacobson decision cussion, I added a few words [email protected] is often up to clients’ lawyers, day when you just have to force involved a fine as a penalty, about the history of immuni- however, to educate judges yourself to make time.” whereas forced vaccinations zation, quarantine, and vacci- and make sure these laws are Judge D’Souza ended on the would likely fly in the face of nation mandates. During the 4 I did not say this in the used to their fullest effect. For following note: “If any of you the medical rights developed Revolutionary War, George event, but I figure you, the example, in Louisiana, judges want to do a summer intern- throughout the twentieth cen- reader, might be interested in can now order financial sup- ship, you are welcome to come tury. 3 https://www.ncsl.org/ it. port as part of a protection down to New Orleans.” Finally, Professor research/health/school-im- order, but the issue must be --- Schwartzman discussed reli- munization-exemption-state- 5 Today, this amounts to brought before the court in a [email protected] gious exemptions. Since the laws.aspx. about $2,110. Love in the Time of Corona: Chance Maginness ‘22

Although it’s been nearly Ready to mingle? Fo- tional health up as well. In in regards to beverage perform as best as it can for six months, many aspects of cused on yourself? many ways, I feel like I’ve hypotheticals. Back to me. I’ve learned to listen to Ben Stievetar ‘22 I don’t want to come started to hit all the boxes of the self-love though and it and myself, and I really Events Editor across as desperate, Benja- “getting your life together.” getting in touch with love that now. min. That being said, I am I still consume enough cold yourself, what have you Snaps for that. Let’s our “new nor- single and ready to mingle, brew to kill a horse, but you come to love or appreci- do a lightning round. mal” continue but not in a desperate way. can’t win ’em all. ate anything about your- Best Charlottesville date to present chal- I’m content with where I am, Good for you! Self-love self most? spot? lenges that can but I wouldn’t be opposed to is never letting anyone I think it would be my re- Carter Mountain. It’s re- be strange and frustrating someone scratching my back cap your coffee con- lationship with my body. It’s ally pretty and has amazing to face. From sitting next and giving me compliments. sumption. But seriously, much healthier now than it vibes to just relax in. If so to someone in class to hit- It’s a fine line to walk. that’s all pretty inspir- was, and I’ve learned to be inclined, you can pick apples ting Bar Review, things that I’d imagine it’s a bit ing. Have there been any nicer to it. There’s a fine and or peaches too. once seemed a given feel far more challenging to other silver linings (or weird line that I tried to walk Dream location to away, or at least vastly dif- mingle with the state of challenges) from quar- between body positivity and quarantine in? ferent behind a mask and things right now. How antine for you? losing weight. I learned that Somewhere in Estes Park six feet apart. We’ve been has ye olde Corona been I’ve read a lot of books! what was more important in the Rockies. It’s beauti- forced to connect more cre- for you? It’s amazing and rare to read for me was not necessarily ful and if I had to stare at atively in our professional, Definitely, but this is for pleasure in law school. losing the weight, but rather the Pavilion dog park for two personal, and—we’ll say it, where the not desperate Specifically, I’ve been read- building a better relation- you smokeshows, you—ro- thing comes into play. Quar- ing up a lot on queer stud- ship with my body so it can LOVE page 6 mantic lives. Indeed, like antine has obviously been ies, which intersects with an a professor explaining the bad for most people; but for independent research proj- holding five minutes past me, it’s been good. I’ve come ect I’m doing this semester. the bell, love continues on, out on the other side a better As for challenges, not being so we at the Law Weekly person. able to go to Bilt or Crozet thought it would be intrigu- Elaborate. Pizza with a double fresh zen ing, pleasantly distracting, Well, before everything in hand at Bar Review has and (dare we say it) heart- went remote, I was really really done a number on my warming to hear how cou- concerned with the social psyche. ples and singles alike are dynamics of law school and Michael’s Bistro’s zens handling romance in light what others were doing and > Crozet’s, but you didn’t of all these changes. You’ve where I fit in, but now I’m hear it from me. Speak- heard of Love in the Time of far more focused on me. ing of beverages, which Cholera, but get ready for I mean, when the world one best epitomizes you Love in the Time of Corona. stopped, I really had noth- and why? This week’s guest is Chance ing to do but watch Tiger A venti cold brew from Maginness ’22. King (remember that?) and Starbucks, with two shots of Hi Chance! Welcome focus on myself for the first Kahlua (can I say that?). I’m to Love in the Time of Co- time in a while. I started get- full of energy and anxiety, rona. This week’s edi- ting into healthier routines which is the cold brew, but tion is a little different with eating and exercising— I’m also subversive enough in that you’re not in a I’ve actually lost about forty to take the edge off, like the relationship. How would pounds since it started. I’ve Kahlua. you categorize your rela- started seeing a therapist to We at the Law Weekly tionship status—Single? keep my mental and emo- allow uncensored speech Pictured: Chance expertly practicing self-love. Photo Courtesy of Chance Maginness ’22. Wednesday, 30 September 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Features 3 Empirically Speaking: A Law Weekly Chat with Professor Stevenson After a successful discussion I was really excited to meet potential to help counteract that we live in an empirical was still incredibly small. with Professor Hwang a few Professor Stevenson because some of those tendencies here world and that there is great Maybe I’m biased—I took weeks ago, the Law Weekly she has a bit of a unique back- at UVA Law. value in being able to discern a number of statistics classes Leah Deskins ‘21 ground compared to many of We also learned a little how statistics are being used in college—but I think Profes- Professor Liasion Editor the other professors at the Law about Professor Stevenson’s around you. To illustrate her sor Stevenson’s advice is excel- School—she has a Ph.D., but life outside of the law. In her point, she asked us to consider lent and quite topical in light of decided to con- not a J.D.—so I was thrilled spare time, she enjoys prac- a hypothetical in which a com- the current state of the world. tinue its profes- when she agreed to join some ticing yoga and doing Pilates munity normally has a murder With so much information sor interview Law Weekly folks for an inter- workouts. When asked if she rate of one in 100,000 people pertaining to so many differ- column with an- view. has pets, she replied that she per year. She explained that ent issues, and flowing from other new fac- We quickly found out that doesn’t, but she does have in a given year, if there were all kinds of sources (e.g., Ins- ulty member: Professor Megan Professor Stevenson’s ap- small children. She’s a Schitt’s two murders, that murder rate tagram), it’s important for law Stevenson. Devon Chenelle proach to the law involves a Creek fan, and she enjoys lis- would become two in 100,000 students and non-law students ’23, Dana Lake ’23, and Jacob unique and valuable twist. tening to Motown and R&B. people per year—still a very alike to understand how num- Jones ’21 joined me, and we all While Professor Stevenson For law students wondering small number that could be ex- bers are being used and how turned on our cameras for a prepares for class just like oth- how they can get their urban plained by random noise. She different factors affect what’s Zoom conversation with Pro- er law professors, and she pub- park and post-Tiger-King noted, however, that someone going on in the world around fessor Stevenson last week. lishes research in journals,2 she big cat fixes in D.C. after law could sensationalize that data them. Professor Stevenson joins also brings an empirical ap- school, you should talk to Pro- by proclaiming that the mur- All in all, it was a real treat the Law School from the An- proach to her work as a result fessor Stevenson. While teach- der rate DOUBLED that year, to meet Professor Stevenson. I tonin Scalia Law School at of her training in economics. ing at George Mason, she lived and while that claim would be look forward to seeing the im- George Mason University in For example, she is currently near Rock Creek Park and the technically correct, someone pact she has on the Law School Arlington, Virginia. She has researching the collateral con- National Zoo—so close to the with a little statistics knowl- community and the legal pro- three degrees from UC Berke- sequences of incarceration, Zoo, in fact, that she could hear edge would be better equipped fession more broadly. ley, culminating in a Ph.D. including how incarceration the lions roar. to realize that the murder rate --- in agricultural and resource affects individuals’ long-term In these interviews, I like to [email protected] economics. After earning her economic well-being. In my ask professors if they have any spring or sometime next year. Ph.D., she spent two years as a opinion, Professor Stevenson’s advice for students. It can be Quattrone Fellow at UPenn be- perspective is invaluable. In a about law school, their career fore heading down to the D.C. law school environment, it is after law school, or life out- area, and then, three years so easy for students to focus side the law. I always get great later, migrated to Charlottes- on memorizing “doctrine” at answers, and Professor Ste- ville. Don’t let her area of study the expense of considering the venson was no different: She fool you, though. Professor data that results from the ap- suggested that everyone learn Stevenson’s work and teach- plication of that doctrine in about statistics.3 She explained ing focuses on criminal justice. the real world. Professor Ste- This semester, she is teaching venson’s perspective has the 3 For those of you, dear criminal law, and next semes- readers, who are inspired by ter, she’ll be teaching a semi- looks like it’ll be a great class. this advice but don’t know nar titled “Rethinking Crimi- where to turn to learn more nal Justice.”1 2 I’ll note that she publishes about statistics, you’re in luck. her work not only in tradition- Professor Stevenson men- 1 The course description al law journals, but also eco- tioned that she’ll be teaching is already on LawWeb, and it nomics journals. a statistics course either this Pictured: Professor Megan Stevenson brings a new and invaluable perspective to UVA Law. Photo Courtesy of law.virginia.edu UVA Law Works of Art Club Spotlight: The Law School is home to a number of interesting works of art. Invariably, art elicits dif- ferent and quirky opinions. We here at the Law Weekly believe it is our duty to not only share the copious amounts of artwork at the School, especially with our virtual readers, but also Sidewalk Law give you our seasoned art critiques. All photo credits to Devon Chenelle ’23 unless otherwise indicated. Sidewalk Law, one of UVA al assistance to teachers. This Law’s most recently founded includes working individually student organizations, pro- with particular students and Kathryn Querner ‘22 completing other tasks to help Executive Editor out with teachers’ agendas. Because participants will en- vides law stu- gage in less specialized forms dents with the of assistance, Sidewalk Law chance to get welcomes students of all back- outside of the grounds, including those with North Grounds minimal teaching experience bubble and engage with the or training. broader Charlottesville com- Due to restrictions enacted munity. The organization fa- by local public elementary cilitates opportunities for law schools to combat COVID-19, students to volunteer with lo- Sidewalk Law will not be able cal elementary schools, help- to facilitate in-person volun- ing teachers out around the teer opportunities with these classroom. schools through the 2020- Sidewalk Law is the junior 2021 school year. Because of version of Street Law—a Law the young ages of the students Name: Floating Column, Lighted Name: Pink Cow and Calf at Night - John Bor- School organization through and the challenges of Zoom, Structure and Untitled - Foon Sham den Evans which law students teach les- Sidewalk Law executive board 1996 Jacob Jones ’21: These cows are here for your sons on introductory legal members and local schools Drew Calamaro ’21: Artist Foon Sham souls but also to provide delicious strawberry concepts to students at lo- determined that assisting el- was inspired to paint this by looking milkshakes. cal high schools. Due to the ementary students virtually under his sink. He looked under there Jacob Smith ’23: No, you’re not safe from Chick- limitations of elementary stu- would not be a productive or because he felt like there was no plumb- fil-a advertising even here. dents’ age and comprehension effective endeavor. Students ing. He was right. Kathryn Querner ’22: Starry Night meets Animal skills, however, Sidewalk Law will be able to volunteer again Ben Stievater ’22: Major Bowser’s Farm in this turn-of-the-century masterpiece, cre- will focus less on teaching law SIDEWALK page 5 Castle vibes from MarioKart. ated at the height of John Borden Evans’ seventh and more on providing gener- existential crisis in his parents’ basement.

Name: Untitled. Photo Courtesy of Dana Lake ’23. Jonathan Peterson ’23: This piece makes having a flat butt a safe space for us men. I approve of this, as some- one who doesn’t need anything more to question than last night’s (or that morning’s) readings when I arrive at the law school. Dana Lake ’23: Art doesn’t need justification, but one wonders what went through the curator’s mind as they chose this piece for HAK hall. Why devote limited wall space to a man with less than no butt? We can only assume the lovingly rendered shoulders distracted the Pictured: Where Sidewalk Law aims to make its impact. Photo Courtesy of Eric Seifriz ’22. curator so thoroughly they didn’t even notice. 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 30 September 2020 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Appeals The Court of Petty Appeals is the highest appellate jurisdiction court at UVA Law. The Court has the power to review any and all decisions, conflicts, and disputes that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court comprises eight associate justices and one Chief Justice. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: the Virginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all con- flicts to [email protected]

Quiet Studiers v. Noi- Court shall consider against else in Charlottesville—so Indiana Jones and the Last to Question Two: “So why some Zoomers this dastardly behavior is one why must you interpose your Crusade. Should anyone vio- the f*** are you talking right 73 U.Va 6 (2020) calling into focus the neces- unholy caterwauling in the late this injunction, the Court now?!?” With dumb stupefac- sity of respecting the right- one place it is not welcome? will intrude with great and tion inevitably staring back at Chenelle, J., delivered ful and proper use of certain Find yourself an empty terrible vigor on the sinister me, I know I have put these the opinion of the Court, in areas, pursuant to the Second classroom in the Law School conversations of those who villains in their place. In light which Birch, Querner, Vie- Restatement of Space Usage § building, an empty room in transgress against the sa- of this ruling, I eagerly an- ira, Pickett, Jones, J., and 734. As Qoheleth opined, “all Pavilion (those study rooms cred silence of the library. It ticipate publicly shaming all Luk, C.J., join. Tonseth, J., things have their season;”1 I have scarce seen breached shall terrify couples chatter- those who profane the stacks and Calamaro, J. dissent. so too do all activities have by a book), an empty room ing over homework,2 gradu- with their Zoomery. their proper place. The prop- literally anywhere else on ate students chatting away in — Justice Chenelle delivered er place of silence is the li- Grounds, or even an empty their little nooks, and music- Per the order of the Court the opinion of the Court. brary, and the proper noise room in your own lodgings! playing staff pushing around of Petty Appeals, applying of the library is non-noise. If Furthermore, those who trolleys of books. I shall greet the Proper Use Doctrine, De- we were to mismatch activi- pollute the library with their these varied malefactors with fendants are thus enjoined Questions over the proper ties and their proper place classes’ noiseful Zoomery are the same devastating syl- from Zooming in the library. usage of the Law Library Should they violate this in- have come to the forefront of junction, they do so at the both public opinion and this uld one imagine if the Corner peril of a public shaming. Court. Plaintiff brought suit seeking an injunction against were to become a place of It is so ordered. the misuse of the Law Library Co for online classes. Applying sober self-improvement, the Pavilion Calamaro, J., dissenting: the Proper Use Doctrine, the While this is an issue of Court of Petty Appeals finds a bastion of modest frugality, and the duty—to whom should we that a judicial order preclud- defer, the Zoom-caller or the ing the usage of the Law Li- Darden School of Business a home to library-goer—I find this case brary for Zoom classes is ap- is ripe to consider an issue propriate. intellectual thought? that should be near and dear — to every aspiring attorney’s A spectre is haunting the across Grounds, the fabric engaged in a reckless disser- logism. Question One: “Do heart: avoiding the library. Law School—the spectre of of campus life would be torn vice to their classmates who you know where we are right Namely, I contend that the li- noise in the library. Across asunder. Could one imagine may require more peace and now?” To which they will an- brary is a place to be avoided, the carrels, over the stacks, if the Corner were to become quiet in their study locations swer dumbly, “Uhhh, the Li- it is a place to be looked down and through the halls, one a place of sober self-improve- than they themselves do. brary?” Leading me naturally upon, and it is no more the can hear the petulant greet- ment, the Pavilion a bastion Many can struggle with fo- right of a library-goer to ex- ings, questions, and cold-call of modest frugality, and the cus and concentration wher- 2 I have never ever under- perience quietness than it is responses of those poor souls Darden School of Business a ever they encounter errant stood this dynamic of study- for the Zoomer to take a call. so extremely depraved that home to intellectual thought? sounds, and there are fear- ing as date-night. I suppose it Neither should be there. they see no mortal sin in con- Such activities would be fully few places on Grounds can serve well as an innocuous The library is a house of ducting their online classes— signs of incipient Shake- where one can escape such way to hang out with someone horrors. and with sound!—from the spearean madness through- sounds. It is thus a tremen- in the early stages of an affaire In I Am Legend, Will rightfully silent halls of the out Grounds, just as surely dous disservice to these in- du coeur, but I don’t consider Smith enters a bank and Arthur J. Morris Law Library. as when Duncan’s horses ate dividuals to assault their the studying version of myself, stumbles upon a bunch of This act is an outrage against each other in Macbeth. Thus, sensitive ears with the mean- hunched over books, grinding zombies standing around to- the natural order. It is thus we must preserve the Law ingless mumble of your on- my teeth, and sweating from gether, asleep. It is scary, and with the hope of impugn- Library as a place of soli- line courses. my forehead, to be my most it is not nearly as bad as the ing this atrocious behavior tude, reflection, and above The library is a sacred place seductive look. Perhaps others library. Do you want to see and shaming the malefactors all else, quiet. I ask you, my full of rite and ritual, and with can pull it off better. COPA page 5 who perpetuate these woeful dear reader: Must there not that sacred investiture comes deeds that I write this opin- be one place in the entirety a long-held rule: that the ion. After it is published in of Grounds dedicated to si- peace and quiet of the space Faculty Quotes the illustrious pages of the lence? And indeed, there is must not be disturbed, an ob- Virginia Law Weekly, none but one place where one may servation first noted in Lucy J. Harrison: “In South R. Harmon: “I love station shall dare to speak on a Zoom fairly and reasonably demand Loud v. Steven Silent, N.H. Dakota, there are five people wagons. They’re so underrat- call in the library ever again, quiet: the Law Library. You 1873. This Court views itself and they all take turns being ed. Dogs can jump into them at peril of raising this Court’s are free to enjoy your ghastly as the guardian and protec- senator.” so easily.” ire and violating the injunc- cacophony literally anywhere tor of the aforementioned tion set forth herein. High Rule, assuming a role D. Ortiz: “Ah! You’re a D. Brown: “I don’t know The first argument this 1 Ecclesiastes 3:1 similar to that of the lonely pirate in Mother Teresa drag.” who your dealer is, but they’re guardian of the Holy Grail in ripping you off.” P. Mahoney: “To use a very technical legal term— K. Kordana: “The judicial that is a stupid result.” ermine on my robes is feeling Virginia Law Weekly rather soiled.” M. Collins: “You know COLOPHON a subject is in need of help Heard a good professor Christina Luk ’21 when the only people pushing quote? Email editor@law- Editor-in-Chief for it is law professors.” weekly.org

Kathryn Querner ‘22 Executive Editor Michael Schmid ‘21 Phil Tonseth ‘22 Jacob Jones ‘21 Managing Editor Production Editor Features Editor

Samuel Pickett ‘21 Will Palmer ‘21 Drew Calamaro ‘21 Columns Editor Special Projects Editor Satire Editor Kolleen Gladden ‘21 Raphael Cho ’21 Grace Tang ‘21 Photographer Cartoonist-in-Chief Foreign Correspondent Ben Stievater ‘22 Leah Deskins ‘21 Donna-Faye Imadi ‘22 Events Editor Professor Liaison Editor Current Events Editor Nate Wunderli ’22 Bill Re ’21 Amy Pan ‘22 Sports Editor Historian Lifestyle Editor Stanley Birch ’22 Marlyse Vieira ’22 Will McDermott ’22 News Editor New Media Editor Development Editor Michael Berdan ’22 Opinions Editor Published weekly on Wednesday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not an official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University. Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia Law Weekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is also required for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration. Virginia Law Weekly 580 Massie Road Phone: 434.812.3229 University of Virginia School of Law [email protected] Charlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789 www.lawweekly.org EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Sub- missions must be received by 12 p.m. Sunday before publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters and/or columns over 1200 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published. Wednesday, 30 September 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 5 talk to anyone else, and it’s the Dean’s executive power. Sidewalk Law’s executive COPA the library. Go home. It’s This assumption has proved SIDEWALK board members are Seifriz, continued from page 4 #COVID2k20. COVID is the the most obvious point to me continued from page 3 Director of Community En- perfect time to work on the about this case: The Majority gagement Colin Lee ’21, VP J. and be seen by your fellow skills that matter after law is still struggling with basic Carr Gamble ’22, and Director law students “StUdYiNg?” school and having your own reading and comprehension. beginning fall of 2021. of Outreach Caroline Spada- Then go to the library. Do set of reporters is possibly Petitioners did not provide Eric Seifriz ’22, the founder ro ’22. Lee commented that you want to be uncomfort- the most important of them proof of the by-line in the and president of Sidewalk the best part about involve- able, constantly, in those all. How else are you going UVA Law Constitution that Law, founded the organization ment in the organization has poor excuses for chairs, with to take that definitely cool- established a library. Fur- this past spring. As an under- been, “meeting other students poor lighting and a bathroom looking, totally not cliché ther, petitioners were unable graduate student at the Uni- who genuinely want to have a that is about fifteen steps too and a joke of a picture, pic- to point to the establishment versity of Wisconsin, Madison, positive effect on the lives of far? Go to the library. It is the ture in front of your reporter of a library in Thomas Jeffer- Seifriz volunteered weekly youth.” In conversations with perfect place for those things. set? That is really how you son’s Academical Village plan with an organization that sent fellow Sidewalk Law members, Or, you could stay home, know you’ve made it—having in 1819, when UVA Law was students out to surround- Lee has found, “a strong com- buy a desk on Craigslist for a bunch of reporters no one founded. Confronted with ing schools to assist teachers mitment to K-12 advocacy— fifteen bucks and choose to will ever read gathering dust the counterargument that and build relationships with whether that takes the form of write a Virginia Law Weekly on the bookshelf, just so you Jefferson did not intend to students and the local com- teaching, coaching, or mentor- article there instead of at the can pretend to have the best establish a law library, as he munity. After graduating, Sei- ship. Ultimately, that is what library. You can take a call, words possible for your cli- left his entire book collection friz taught students in pre-K Sidewalk Law is all about.” listen to music, or even wa- ents. If that’s not the dream, I to the Library of Congress through twelfth grade. Seek- Finally, as Sidewalk Law ter a plant at home while you don’t know why you’re in law after their collection was de- ing out teaching opportunities is the first organization of its write—go crazy. Plus, you school. stroyed in 1812, petitioners after arriving at UVA Law, he kind to be established at a have all the coffee you could demurred and simply turned got involved with Street Law graduate school at UVA, its want at home, as well as a Tonseth, J., dissenting: off their Zoom camera, citing and went on to found Side- executive board hopes to work bottle of wine for those crazy The question in this case “technical difficulties.” walk Law. Seifriz also noted with other UVA graduate pro- nights studying Fed Tax. Do does not center on what rights It is beyond my esteemed that Madison House, the UVA grams, including Darden, Bat- you know what doesn’t have law students have within the sense of self to let this abuse undergraduate counterpart ten, and the medical school, these things? The library. library as a whole. Rather, of power by the Majority go to Sidewalk Law, has formed to expand the reach of the The library has crap coffee, at the core of this issue, we unchecked. While I am not many relationships with lo- program and provide greater zero wine, and the ghosts of must analyze whether the advocating for the “complete cal elementary schools which assistance to local elementary lawyers past (paintings) on formation of UVA Law’s li- deconstruction” of the ad- Sidewalk Law hopes to use. schools. the walls. Why would you brary was constitutional. The ministrative state, it is obvi- Before Sidewalk Law came To get involved in Sidewalk want this? Go home. answer to that basic question ous that the Arthur J. Mor- into existence, UVA Law did Law—and this applies espe- If you’re in the library, is affirmatively no, with the ris Library was founded on not have a group for students cially to 1Ls who are eligible you can’t work on build- only recourse being to abol- a faulty premise. Plus, using interested in education law to join the organization’s ex- ing your own mahogany ish and demolish the Arthur substantive due process to and policy. Seifriz foresees ecutive board this upcom- bookshelf for that clas- J. Morris Law Library. further coddle law students Sidewalk Law providing a ing year—students can email sic “I have gOoD bRaIn” In the issue at hand, the is bad precedent, so any space and community for stu- Seifriz at [email protected] picture in front of your Majority clearly favors a “rights” the Majority makes dents interested in education to be added to the listserv. As books you never open. strong and seemingly unre- up are all farcical. I dissent. law or policy career paths to Sidewalk Law is so new, cur- You and I both know that strained delegation of leg- socialize, network, and pursue rent 1Ls who choose to get in- sitting in a poorly ventilated islative power to the Execu- education-related interests. volved next year will have the and stuffy area like the li- tive. As such, although there --- Furthermore, if volunteer- opportunity to really shape the brary is a recipe for disaster, is no constitutional grant of [email protected] ing goes well next fall, Seifriz growth and trajectory of the even with a mask.3 Everyone authority for UVA Law to es- [email protected] hopes that Sidewalk Law will organization. is on edge, no one wants to tablish a library, the majority [email protected] eventually provide opportu- assumes the library’s exis- nities for additional services --- 3 This is endorsed by Drew tence and establishment was including tutoring and after- [email protected] University of Science. an appropriate exercise of school enrichment programs.

which is where I’m from. Also, What flavor of ice cream ing opinions, and I can relate to The end of Game of Thrones. HOT you can put whatever toppings are you on a Tuesday? that level of not wanting to even God, what a horrible ending. you want on it—it can be sweet Cookie Dough (not chocolate do the bare minimum. What would I change? Every- or savory (like me)—and you chip cookie dough, that’s im- It’s the end of the world, thing, but most of all Dany BENCH can eat tons of it without feel- portant), because it is delicious, what four other people would NOT have gone insane. ing bad. Why eat lots of broccoli but it’s not my favorite flavor. would you pick to be on Or if she had, she would’ve or carrots when you could eat a Similarly, Tuesday is a fine day, your apocalypse survival killed Jon Snow. Jon Snow is, bunch of popcorn? but not my favorite day. team? in my humble opinion, the ab- If you were reincarnated Would you rather be the Weirdly enough, I’ve thought solute WORST. He is always as a dinosaur, would you physicist Pickett, war gen- about this before. I am assum- moping around and talking rather have a spiky tail or eral Pickett, or a picket ing that I can have fictional about honor—like dear god, thiccasaurus thighs, and fence? characters, even though that man, lighten up for just one why? Given that General Pickett was not in the prompt: scene. And Bran being the king? I’ve got to go with the spiky fought for the Confederacy, I (1) Rick Grimes—This man Absolutely not. And Tyrion tail. If I were really committed, I think it is a safe bet that I would literally dealt with the apoca- should’ve been killed after he Sam Pickett ‘21 could have thiccasaurus thighs rather be the physicist. Plus, in lypse. You need a steady cap- turned on Dany. Also, at least right now. But a spiky tail? I the 1996 Nobel Prize citation tain and even though Rick one major character should’ve Junk Food Connoisseur can only dream of that. Plus, I of physicist David Lee, credit could be super (I mean really, died at the Battle of Winterfell. Interviewed by Phil Tonseth ’22 would be able to smack people was given to Pickett and his re- really) annoying in the Walk- But one thing I wouldn’t have I don’t like, a huge advantage. search group for their work on ing Dead, he is a good leader, changed? Arya killing the Night Hi Sam! Welcome to the Thick thighs would make me 3He. That’s pretty sick. and I think I could balance out King. That was awesome. Hot Bench! Our readers strong, yes, but not allow me to Being a picket fence, how- some of his psychopathic ten- Knowing what you do have heard a lot from you smack people as easily. ever, would be pretty nice given dencies enough to make him a now, would you go back as a journalist over the Have you actually been that I would no longer have to valuable choice. in time to still come to law years, so I’d like to switch productive during 3L? if deal with the crushing burden (2) Legolas—He’s quiet, great school? up our usual questions to yes, why? of existing. I could just sit there, with a bow, and kind. What Absolutely. Law school is very probe deeper into what While I certainly don’t feel look pretty, and protect shrub- more could you want? hard, but I have met some truly makes Sam tick. But first, productive, I am in the Immi- bery from predators. I would (3) The Mountain—Some- incredible people, particularly tell us where you’re from gration Law Clinic, so I’ve had love that for me. times you just need some brute my wonderful girlfriend Maria, and why you decided to be- to maintain a certain level of If you were a kitchen ap- strength to protect your squad. and learned a lot about myself. come a lawyer? productivity. As a 3L, however, pliance, which one would His blind loyalty and vicious- I often feel very fortunate to I am from Indiana (cross- I am more inclined to “call that you be? ness could be very useful if we have so enjoyed law school. roads of America, baby!!!) a day’s work” at 2:00 p.m. and Definitively a blender. Like a got in a fight with another team. Would your five-year-old and, in one of the few serious to avoid any kind of responsi- blender, I’m multifaceted and (4) Dr. House—I haven’t seen self think of you as being answers I’ll give, I decided to bility for the rest of the evening. serve a broad range of func- many shows with doctors, but I cool, a nerd, or not recog- become a lawyer, among other Thank god TikTok didn’t take tions and, sometimes, I can be have seen House. Who knows nize who you’ve become? reasons, because of a desire to off until my 3L year. very loud. No, I will not explain what kind of weird diseases I think my five-year-old self fight injustice. I feel that so of- Who is your favorite further. would appear in an apocalyptic would think that I was cool, but ten people are taken advantage power ranger? What would your “real world? We need a doctor to help I’m not even sure what I think of because they don’t know the The red one. I don’t remem- housewife” catch phrase keep the team in tip top shape. five-year-old me thought twen- law or how to maneuver within ber why, but red is my favorite be? If he got annoying, we would ty-five-year-old me would be our legal system and being a color, so I think that’s a safe bet. “I’ve always had opinions, simply tape his mouth shut. like. I think twenty-five seemed lawyer gives me the opportu- When you look in the but now people know it”—me, And if he limps, the Mountain so old that I was like “I won’t nity to help people in a way that mirror, what’s the first discussing my time at the Vir- will carry him. Although come ever be twenty-five.” But here few other careers can. word you think of? ginia Law Weekly. to think of it, the Mountain will I am, being twenty-five, and Okay now the hard stuff, It depends on the day. Some- Who is your ‘spirit’ Su- also probably be carrying me while I don’t feel cool, at least why is popcorn the best days, it is something loathsome. preme Court Justice? too (a la Bran Stark). now I can rent a car? vegetable? Others, it is something uplift- Justice Rehnquist, not be- If you could change the --- Easy, it comes from corn, ing. There is no in between. cause of his opinions, which I ending to one TV show [email protected] which comes from Indiana, generally don’t agree with, but or book, what would you because I heard he hated writ- change? Spoiler alert. 6 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 30 September 2020 And there you have it, LOVE folks. Many thanks to continued from page 2 Chance for joining us on Love in the Time of Corona weeks straight, I’d lose my and teaching us about the Cartoon By Raphael mind. Maybe London if cit- importance of self-love. Are ies are on the table. you a couple that’s been sep- What’s the first activity arated or getting creative you’ll do when things go during this social isolation back to normal? period? A single who’s de- Inform my professors that sire to mingle has been cur- I will not be in class for the tailed by COVID-19? A pla- week and head straight to tonic friend or member of a Bilt or Crozet. family who wants to share Which movie character how you’ve been making it are you and why? through this together? Love I’m the Witch from Sond- comes in all shapes and heim’s Into the Woods, in sizes, and we want to hear that I’m the catalyst of most about it! Email bes4cf@vir- stories. I’m always correct, ginia.edu if you or someone and when nobody listens to you know might like to be me, I just leave. Actually, featured on Love in the Time I’ve just listened to an outra- of Corona. geous amount of Sondheim musicals this summer. Best advice for self- --- love? Buy more mirrors for your [email protected] house. You can’t hide from yourself when your reflec- tion is staring back at you from everywhere you look. Normally, this is where we ask couples to say something cute about each other as a surprise. You can say something to yourself, but that might

ruin the reveal. Other- wise, take a free space: Enjoy! GMT. 2020 17:27:56 28 Sep Mon on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated If you’re reading this and you think to yourself, “how could I possibly love my- self?,” that’s okay—don’t worry about it—you can just love ~ME~ instead. Follow me on Twitter and Insta- gram at @givegayachance.

TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? Puzzle 1 (Very hard, difficulty rating 0.79) WEDNESDAY – September 30 SUDOKU 12:00 – Lexis+ Training Topic 4 of Zoom Free L 12:30 4: Advanced Searching 12:30 – Contemporary Issues in 5 9 3 Zoom Free L 13:30 Space Law 17:00 – Justice Ginsburg: In Zoom Free L 1 7 6 8 18:00 Memoriam 19:30 – Wellness Wednesday Zoom Free L 20:30 Yoga 2 3 8 THURSDAY – October 1 Emerging Company and 5 3 6 Venture Capital Society, 17:30 – L.I.S.T. Society, and Zoom Free L 19:00 Virginia Law & Business 4 9 7 2 Review Present: ZOOM NETWORKING t 19:00 – Law Dems Redistricting 7 3 4 Zoom Free L 20:00 Event FRIDAY – October 2 9 1 5 12:15 – DVP Trauma-Informed Zoom Free L 13:45 Lawyering Training 13:00 – Lexis+ Training Topic 4 of L 1 5 2 3

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D 15:30 – J. B. Moore General Body Zoom Free L 16:30 Meeting Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Mon Sep 28 17:27:56 2020 GMT. Enjoy! 18:00 AFL - Movie Night Zoom Free L Solution h e

SATURDAY – October 3 1 3 8 5 4 7 2 6 9

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Tuesday – October 6 4 1 5 9 8 3 7 2 6

17:00 – ACS Event with Judge 8 6 2 4 7 1 9 3 5 Zoom Free L 3 9 7 6 5 2 1 8 4 18:00 Carlton Reeves

A Conversation with 0.79) rating difficulty hard, (Very 1 Puzzle 18:30 – Margaret Duval: Domestic Zoom Free L 19:30 Violence, Children, and the Law 19:00 – CARE Careers in Child Zoom Free L 20:00 Advocacy Panel