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Virginia Law Weekly 70 1948 - 2018 A Look Outline Formatting Tips...... 2 Inside: Spotlight: LIST...... 3 Shocking! 3L Head Sizes...... 5 Large “Small” Sections?...... 5

Wednesday, 28 November 2018 The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948 Volume 71, Number 12 Law Weekly Exclusive: around north grounds Congratulations Law Review to Vote Friday to Alex Haden ’17 and Ashley Ange- lotti ’17 on their engagement! The on Selection Overhaul couple led the Law Weekly their 3L year and got engaged Contentious New Plan Would Select Half of VLR Membership Holistically in our office with a special half the membership based on already admitted by grades. Af- to an email sent by Managing edition of the paper. ANG’s Jansen VanderMeulen ‘19 a holistic review of applicants’ ter that, the five students with Editor Aparna Datta ’19 that pumped to black out at their Editor-in-Chief grades, writing competition per- the next highest grades who informed members that the wedding with the Aristocrat The Virginia Law Review formance, and personal state- also score in the top half of the proposal was “internal and con- vodka Alex left in the Law (VLR) will vote Friday on a ment. VLR’s managing board write-on are admitted, as are fidential to VLR.” (VLR sources Weekly fridge. contentious plan that would approved the plan in a close 14- the next five highest write-on say this was meant to avoid panic overhaul how this Law School’s 11 vote. performers in the top half of the among the 1Ls.) Nonetheless, the Thumbs up to flagship journal selects its mem- Current VLR policy is this: class in grades. Finally, up to ten Law Weekly interviewed nearly a President Ryan’s bers. The new plan, obtained by The students with the top fifteen students are admitted through dozen VLR members about the Office. ANG ap- the Law Weekly, would limit GPAs are automatically admit- the Virginia Plan, which consid- plan, including members of the preciates the the number of members admit- ted to VLR, as are the top fifteen ers personal statements specifi- managing board. thoughtful outreach and ted based on grades and select performers on the write-on not cally tailored to diversity, but is Supporters contend the plan congratulates Ryan on lead- restricted to students in the top will strengthen VLR by allowing ing by example: if YOU see a half of the class in both GPA and for greater diversity of member- friend, foe, or fictional entity write-on score. ship and remove arbitrary hur- circling the paranoid drain Justice Kennedy The new plan replaces the dles to getting the best students of insanity this finals season, Virginia Plan with an authenti- on Law Review. Opponents reach out! Maybe take ‘em to Swings by Law cally holistic review—eliminat- criticize the plan’s concentra- coffee (HINT). #PSA ing the top-half requirement— tion of power in a small number and removes the Virginia Plan’s of people, its potential for abuse, Thumbs down School quasi-requirement that candi- and its dilution of what it means to finals. On a re- dates come from a historically to “be on Law Review.” lated note, thumbs disadvantaged group. Some of Several VLR members who up to Harris Tee- the plan’s features are the same spoke with the Law Weekly ter’s wine selection. as in years past: the ten students agreed the current lack of under- with the highest GPAs would be represented students on VLR is a Thumbs side- automatically admitted (down problem, but expressed concern ways to Thanks- from fifteen), as would the stu- with leaving the selection of half giving dinner. dents with the top fifteen write- of Law Review’s members to a On the one hand, on scores. But the other twenty- committee they claim is secre- ANG’s always down for five would be selected by VLR’s tive, opaque, and rife with poten- passive aggressive political Membership and Inclusion tial for abuse. discussions. On the other, Committee. One source said, “It’s prob- ANG thought this year’s The seven-person commit- lematic that our current sys- Law School Expansion Pack tee would be made up of VLR’s tem—one written exam graded would come with more fea- Editor-in-Chief, Managing Edi- on a curve—leaves an unrepre- tures! tor, a new “Membership and sentative group at the ‘top’ of the Inclusion Editor” (selected by class,” they told me. “Perhaps Thumbs up to the outgoing managing board) [grades and the writing compe- the students hold- and four members selected by tition] are arbitrary, but discre- ing a wine-and-tur- the editorial board and new tionary selection from a com- key Thanksgiving managing board. The commit- mittee is surely more arbitrary.” in the study rooms by the Retired Justice Kennedy onstage. Photo Kolleen Gladden ‘21 tee would select the top personal Another VLR member agreed: bookstore last Wednesday statements, taking between fifty This process “will create opacity, amid the Law School ghost Jansen VanderMeulen ‘19 and seventy-five, with the un- confusion, and stress among 1Ls” town. Editor-in-Chief ’96’s Civil Liberties and Pro- derstanding that some of their unsure how exactly one “gets on fessor Schwartzman’s own picks will make VLR through Law Review.” Other members Thumbs down Retired U.S. Supreme Religious Liberties courses on other means. Those students’ worried about the potential for to the Baker Botts Court Associate Justice An- Thursday. There, Justice Ken- information would be sent to the backroom politics, or at least the food-less “lunch” thony M. Kennedy visited the nedy—the author of famed Student Records office, which perception of unfairness. “People panel. ANG University of Virginia School civil and religious liberties would send back the students’ will inevitably wonder whether hasn’t read the Model Penal of Law on November 15 and cases such as Church of the grade information based on rela- popularity, politics, networking, Code in a long time (ever) 16, christening the new Karsh Lukumi Babalu Aye v. City of tive GPA tier—the committee or other inappropriate factors but ANG’s pretty sure this Center for Law and Democ- Hialeah, Lawrence v. Texas, would not know students’ exact played a role,” a member said. is statutorily punishable by racy and displaying a humor- and Obergefell v. Hodges— GPAs, just their position in tiers “Especially since the personal four course meals at spring ous side rarely seen from the lectured on his jurisprudence relative to their classmates. And statements will be impossible to 1L receptions. bench. and took questions from stu- for students whose GPAs come keep totally anonymous.” Kennedy, 82, was origi- dents. back in the bottom third of the Another member—supportive Thumbs up to nally scheduled to visit the Next on Thursday, Kennedy class, VLR would receive no tier of the Virginia Plan but opposed shared electric Law School in September, participated in a lunch in the information; they would know to this plan—echoed that con- scooters coming but the visit was postponed faculty lounge with a group of only that the student is in the cern, worrying that this “gooey soon to campus! due to Hurricane Florence’s students selected from diverse bottom third. The members of process” could spawn selection ANG looks forward to drunk- approach. This rescheduled backgrounds. The justice talk- the committee would then weigh based on popularity or corrup- enly scooting back from bar visit took place on the Thurs- ed about his own experience the students’ grade information, tion and collusion among the review. Is that a felony? day and Friday preceding the in the law: law school at Har- their write-on scores, and their members of the committee, who, Thanksgiving Recess, but at- vard, returning home to take personal statements to select though required to give weight to Thumbs down tendance at Kennedy-related over his father’s law practice twenty-five of them for mem- each of grades, the write-on, and to ANG. Turns out events was undiminished. in Sacramento, and being ap- bership on VLR. Students must the personal statement, are un- ANG was spread- Several venues in the Law pointed by President Gerald receive five of seven votes to be der no obligation to disclose their ing fake news last School played host to the R. Ford to the Ninth Circuit. admitted. weighting or have a consistent week when ANG said Presi- retired justice—Professor He quoted Aristotle, stuck Supporters and opponents metric for balancing the three dent Ryan met with Law Micah Schwartzman ’05 de- up for the Socratic method, disagreed markedly about the factors. One member called the Review when he was actu- scribed Kennedy as “gener- and recalled the very differ- new plan’s merits. Most VLR committee’s discretionary power ally meeting with a shadowy ous with his time”—starting ent days during which he be- members who spoke with the “insane.” cabal called the “Tri-Sector with a combined sitting of Law Weekly did so on condition Leadership Fellows.” Professor J. Scott Ballenger KENNEDY page 2 of anonymity: several pointed VLR page 2 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 28 November 2018 KENNEDY continued from page 1 ings—might influence zoning Judge Kennedy, Bruce Karsh that the system works” and Outline variance decisions relating reflected on Kennedy as a reassured the audience that gan his law practice in Sacra- to religious minorities with boss, calling him “courteous the Court “is operating in a Formatting: mento, days he said lived up a fascinating story about his and kind” and recalling how collegial, thoughtful way.” Timely Tips to the term “old-boys club.” own experience representing the judge would invite him When Rubenstein noted there Asked his favorite film, Ken- a client before a zoning com- over to his house for dinner were now two former Ken- for Success nedy gave a classic Kennedy mission. to spend time with his young nedy clerks on the Court (Ka- answer: Guess Who’s Coming On Friday, Justice Ken- family. Bruce Karsh went on vanaugh and Justice Neil M. Creating an outline is no to Dinner, the 1967 version nedy appeared in Caplin Au- to work for O’Melveny & My- Gorsuch), Kennedy quipped, simple task. There’s an un- starring Spencer Tracy, in ditorium as part of the kickoff ers and then in private equity, “All we need is one more and believable amount of ma- which Tracy’s daughter is set of the Karsh Center for Law co-founding Oaktree Capital we can rule the world,” draw- terial, a limited amount of to marry a black man, which and Democracy. Funded by Management. Martha Karsh ing laughter from the unsus- makes her parents uneasy. As a record $44 million dona- spoke next, calling Kennedy pecting audience. That wasn’t Hunter Kennedy describes the film, tion from philanthropist fi- “a beacon of wisdom, juris- his only laugh line; Kennedy Hampton ’19 Tracy’s character stands out nanciers Bruch Karsh ’80 and prudence, and leadership.” caused laughter throughout Guest Columnist on his San Francisco balcony Marth Lubman Karsh ’81, the She thanked Kennedy for wel- the audience with his sur- wrestling with his convic- Karsh Center promotes “civil coming Bruce and her to their prisingly on-point imitation time, and the tions, finally realizing that he’s discourse and democratic dia- family and California and of President Ronald Reagan, very real risk wrong, that his opposition to logue, civic engagement and quoted Jefferson: “Honesty is who knew Kennedy when he that you’ll de- the marriage was derived from citizenship, ethics and integri- the first chapter in the book of was governor of California velop carpal tunnel before his prejudice. ty in public office, and respect wisdom.” and who nominated Kennedy you’ve ever set finger to key Readers needn’t be experts for the rule of law.”1 Justice After the Karshes finished to the Supreme Court. in your actual exam session. in Justice Kennedy’s jurispru- Kennedy’s visit was the per- speaking, Dean Goluboff in- After talking with Kennedy Well, I’m here to complicate dence to know he was often fect fit for the Karsh Center’s troduced David Rubenstein, about the inner workings of things further for you, in- held to have changed his own kickoff. Professor Schwartz- who interviewed Kennedy for the Court, Rubenstein asked troducing another level of mind. From Planned Par- man told the Law Weekly, the event as part of his David about his plans for the future. complexity to your already- enthood v. Casey, in which “Justice Kennedy—both in Rubenstein Show on PBS. Writing and teaching, Kenne- arduous task. Beyond hav- he joined the joint opinion the classroom and at his pub- The conversation between dy replied. He also expressed ing good content, it’s vitally upholding the core of Roe v. lic interview—emphasized the Rubenstein and Kennedy cen- an openness to sitting on the important that your outline Wade despite previous oppo- importance of reason-giving tered on Kennedy’s years on lower courts and brought read smoothly as well. With- sition to legalized abortion, in judicial decision making. the court and his reasons for up Aristotle again. Aristotle out this trait, your outline to Fisher v. Texas, in which The Court’s only power is the leaving. To the latter ques- thought, Kennedy said, that will be an anchor tether- he upheld the University of power to persuade by the rea- tion, Kennedy answered, “It’s democracy was a bad form of ing you to a senseless sea of Texas’s affirmative action pro- sons it gives. The mission of hard leaving something you government because it could words. Am I making things gram after previously voting to the Karsh Center is to foster love, but you can do it for not mature. “Our destiny— more difficult for you by strike it down, Justice Kenne- civil discourse, which is about something you love more,” our duty—is to prove him asking you to spend some dy was renowned on the bench the exchange of reasons and telling of how he had spent wrong.” Kennedy wrapped up time on formatting? Yes, for his willingness to reconsid- about justifying how we relate too many years working away by telling the crowd what he but only because, in the end, er his own previous positions. to one another under the rule from his wife Mary. Quizzed wanted the American people I’m making it easier for you. Kennedy largely avoided pro- of law.” about his feelings toward his to know. He reiterated his With that in mind, here are viding answers to substantive Dean Risa Goluboff intro- successor, Justice Brett M. faith in the Supreme Court, my tips for writing a legible legal questions, responding duced the Karshes to talk Kavanaugh—who clerked for telling the audience that the outline. to Molly Cain ’20’s thoughtful about their gift and about Kennedy and endured a bru- Court “is dedicated to finding First, choose a readable question about how his opin- Justice Kennedy. Telling the tal confirmation process that what the law is,” that its work font. Readability depends on ion in Town of Greece v. Gal- story of how he moved to included accusations of past is “not a partisan exercise,” the purpose to which the font loway—upholding explicitly California to clerk for then- sexual misconduct—Kennedy and that “the work of freedom is put. In an outline, the goal Christian prayer by council- ducked the direct question, is never done.” is quick, efficient reference. members in municipal meet- 1 https://www.law.virginia. but said, “The public will see ---- You’re not looking for the edu/karsh/about. [email protected] most finely sculpted letters, but rather a set of glyphs no need to choose the nucle- VLR Another member concurred, the idea that the plan would less- that are easy to identify at a ar option of double-spacing continued from page 1 telling the paper, “I believe that an en VLR’s clout pointing to the law glance. I recommend fonts though; 1.2 to 1.5 lines is suf- array of skills, perspectives, and reviews of Harvard and Columbia with wide spacing between ficient. Similarly, if you use Supporters of the plan respond experiences prior to law school is Law Schools, which utilize holis- characters. Please don’t use paragraphs in your outline, that these concerns are overblown not only valuable but necessary tic admissions processes and have Times New Roman. It’s a make sure they are set off or wrong. Kareem Ramadan ’20 to the continued strength of this not suffered corresponding repu- newspaper font that is far too more than individual lines told the Law Weekly that the con- publication.” Responding to criti- tational damage. “The University dense for quick reference. are. I’d recommend six pts. cern that the committee would cism that too much power is vest- of Virginia produces exceptional My personal favorite is Work Third, use the “bold” op- pick members based on politics or ed in the seven committee mem- graduates,” Raphael said, “and Sans. It’s very widely spaced, tion to indicate the theme favoritism instead of merit is mis- bers, this member told the paper, changing the process by which the letters are sharp and eas- of a line within the topic of guided. “I can’t imagine five of the “It is set up so that, functionally, students are admitted to VLR is ily identifiable, and it comes your heading or subheading. seven people on the committee the outgoing Managing Board is unlikely to affect anyone’s em- in nine different weights— For example, if your topic won’t care about grades,” he said. able to choose about half of the ployment opportunities.” Another not just bold, but extrabold, is “Negligence,” you might Supporters pointed out that members and the full member- member added, “I think that the thin, and black as well. Dif- bold the words “Duty,” scores on the writing competition ship of VLR is able to choose the implication that [the prestige ele- ferent weights are handy “Breach,” “Causation,” and and GPA are highly correlated; other half, and any student who ment] will change is an exaggera- because you can set off dif- “Damages” in the lines re- unsurprisingly, those who do well is accepted to VLR through the tion, if not patently false.” ferent levels of headings and ferring to those subtopics. on law school exams also tend to committee process must receive VLR Editor-in-Chief Campbell subheadings without ever Within each line, use italics do well in the writing competi- a supermajority of votes,” Such a Haynes ’19 voiced support for the changing font or even font to denote standards: “clear tion. This means that under the process would make ‘back-room plan in his personal capacity, tell- size, though I would still rec- and present danger,” “all or new plan, while the committee politics’ . . . virtually impossible.” ing the Law Weekly, “This mem- ommend the judicious use substantially all,” “material- wouldn’t see the grades of appli- Most contentious was the idea bership reform proposal is the of the latter option. Work ly alters,” etc. Additionally, cants until after it has narrowed that selecting half of VLR’s mem- result of months of hard work, re- Sans does not come down- you can use bold and ital- the pool to fifty-or-so candi- bership through this process will search, and outreach to other law loaded on most computers, ics at the same time for key dates, it would have a good idea dilute what it means to be on Law reviews.” He wrote that the new but you can find the whole qualifying phrases like “not,” of candidates’ caliber based on Review. “I worry that the new dis- process “will make our member- set of weights on GitHub “if and only if,” and “unless.” their written work. What’s more, cretion-heavy process may take ship process fairer and more open for free. If you’re not quite Finally, consistency is the supporters dispute the idea that away from some of VLR’s cachet to all” because “selecting a sizable as dedicated as I am (read: most important thing here. grades and write-on scores are in job and clerkship interviews. portion of the Review through ho- willing to procrastinate), go When you always abide by a any less arbitrary than the holistic Before, being on VLR meant you listic review will allow VLR to en- with Century Schoolbook or set of rules (they don’t have process that will be applied by the finished your 1L year at the top of sure that all students have the op- Segoe UI, which should be to be these), you will train committee. “[M]argins for admis- your class or as one of the stand- portunity to be fully considered.” in most editions of Word. your brain to identify certain sion to the law review are incred- outs in the writing competition,” Haynes concluded, “It will also al- They don’t have nine differ- relationships quickly and ef- ibly fine,” one member told me, the source told the Law Weekly, low us to identify potential editors ent weights, but you should ficiently, which is the whole “and there are a vast number of worrying what Law Review mem- who are strong across the board. be able to make up for that point of an outline. Don’t al- extraordinarily qualified candi- bership will mean if the admis- That will make us even better at by varying the font size. low your outline to slow you dates.” sions process becomes less clear our main job: publishing thought- Second, never use single- down. If you put in the effort Supporters also contend the Another member told the pa- provoking legal scholarship.” spacing. When you’re look- now, well-designed format- holistic review will allow the com- per the new plan would be “cata- This is the last edition of the ing at your outline during ting will complement your mittee to take into account life strophic in the long term” as it Law Weekly for the semester; exams, it will probably be well-thought-out content experiences that would benefit becomes clear that Law Review there will be no follow-up to this nested into one half of your and help you beat that curve. VLR. “[G]rades and journal try- membership is no longer a proxy report until January. The leak screen so you can type on the The author is pleased to out scores are clearly not the only for either high grades or stellar that produced this piece, as well other half. This will make ev- take all your formatting markers of success,” Dana Ra- writing. One member was blunt- as long experience with law stu- erything look smaller, but it questions. phael ’20, told the Law Weekly. er: “Excellent grades . . . do not dents, leave us skeptical that we will have a particularly dele- “People with fascinating and var- happen by accident but are the will have to wait until then to hear terious effect on your ability ---- ied backgrounds—particularly result of hard work. This plan di- of the result of Friday’s vote, how- to distinguish one line from backgrounds that would make minishes the value of grades while ever. A timely reminder: tips may, another unless you’ve set [email protected] adept members such as prior ed- vesting discretionary authority in be sent to [email protected]. them apart a little more than iting experience—should be con- a committee of seven.” ---- you would normally. There’s sidered fully for VLR.” Supporters sharply disputed [email protected] Wednesday, 28 November 2018 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Features 3 The Villa Diner, Then and Now: The Law Weekly Review

When we arrived back to to terminate the diner’s lease OV exterior. But what gave OV may be a positive feature to cious and the staff still wears North Grounds for this semes- to further development plans some of its charm was its hid- many people, but I kind of like royal blue collared shirts sport- ter not much had changed. for the University. According den–gem quality. At OV, there it when I am seated close to the ing the diner’s logo. There are The Law School is still always to the Cavalier Daily, which was never a wait. I would wait kitchen in a diner. This is prob- still paper place mats at the Jill Rubinger ‘19 interviewed Villa owner Ken fifteen minutes maximum on ably why I enjoy Waffle House table featuring a fun-fact-filled Diner Aficionado Beachley, reported that Beach- a weekend. I also enjoyed the so much. There are definitely illustrated map of the state of ley and his wife were aware of layout of OV. When you walked cleaner vibes at NV. According Virginia. The menus are the either really hot the eventual demolition plans in you could see everything to Winnie McBride ’19, a Triple same, and I still order the Su- or really cold. when they first purchased the happening; None of the tables Mandy is still diner back in June 2005, but were hidden in any nooks and stirring up caffeinated drinks were still upset by the news crannies of the building. If your in ScoCo, George Geis is still when the time finally came to friends were there, you’d spot looking gooooood, and the 1Ls relocate. So it is worth noting them quickly. This made for are still sitting four-to-a-table that the owners were perfectly some fun coincidental group in the library. However, there content with the OV location. breakfasts during my times at was one huge change. The be- And so was I. My opinions OV. Thomas Watson ’19, a Villa staple, notes the inconvenience of the new location. In lament- ing the move, he remarked, “[OV] had a bigger parking lot with multiple points of en- try and the new location is on the other side of that Barracks Road traffic light, which is al- ways a nightmare.” At NV, the wait time has skyrocketed. I cannot tell if the new location has drawn a larger crowd or if there is simply less seating in the new building. If you’re going on a Sunday morning with a group of four, expect to wait thirty to forty-five minutes along- The Villa’s former, unhurried location. Photo courtesy The Cavalier Daily. side the church crowd and loved Villa Diner, which closed about the big move stem from the undergrads. Shanna Adler briefly at the end of last school nostalgic tendencies and incur- ’19 says she hopes to one day The Villa’s new location featuring “cleaner vibes” but longer waits. Photo Jill year, had reopened in a new able impatience. become such a regular that — Rubinger / Virginia Law Weekly location on US-29. As a consis- Excited to try New Villa she can get a priority spot in tent patron of Villa Diner and (hereinafter “NV”), I pulled into the diner to avoid this hassle. Hoo and Villa expert, the res- per Big Complete Breakfast ev- lover of breakfast food, I was the very crowded parking lot There is a larger waiting area in taurant feels clean and has bet- ery time I go. All in all, it’s still nervous and excited about this on a Sunday morning. The NV NV, but that is simply because ter natural lighting. the best quick diner in Charlot- big move. aesthetic factor is worth not- they need it now. Once seated, I would say that the biggest tesville. Just be sure to factor The UVA Foundation owns ing. It’s a good–looking diner, you can take in the ambiance differences between OV and in a few extra minutes of wait the property where the Old not gonna lie. The white brick of the new location. The tables NV are procedural in charac- time before your next trip. Villa (hereinafter “OV”) was exterior is clean and inviting. It are spread out and are more re- ter. The substantive stuff hasn’t ---- located and recently decided definitely looks nicer than the moved from the kitchen. This changed. The food is still deli- [email protected] LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Organization Spotlight— Law, Innovation, Security & Technology Society (LIST) Each week, the Law Weekly showcases a Law School group in a feature we call “Spotlight.” Our goal is to give leaders a regular platform to inform readers about their goals and to educate the UVA Law community about their diverse perspectives. If you or your organization would like to be featured, please send an email to [email protected].

That new technologies like nities to gain hands-on experi- LIST’s speaker events introduce The program culminates in a interested in LIST members for drones, autonomous vehicles, ence working on those issues, students to cutting-edge legal is- student panel at LIST’s annual their skills and interests. LIST cyber warfare tools and artificial and launch them into careers at sues, provide students with role spring networking event, where recently hosted a panel of attor- the intersection of law and tech- models and networking oppor- students who participated in pro neys from the CIA on careers at Jeremy Gordon ‘19 nology. We accomplish this mis- tunities, and are engaging and bono projects have the chance the agency’s Office of General LIST President sion through our speaker series, enjoyable while asking for little to present their work to an au- Counsel, and we look forward intelligence are education and training program, of students’ time. dience of peers, professors, and to hosting the General Counsel “disruptors”— and networking opportunities. On January 25, LIST is also co- employers. of the NSA, Glenn Gerstell, for that they can and All of LIST’s programming is hosting, with the Virginia Law This fall, LIST also teamed up a discussion of his office’s legal are transforming intentionally designed to be ac- Review, a symposium on digi- with a group of students from work and career opportunities in markets, societ- cessible to students with a range tal democracy. The symposium UVA’s computer science de- the spring. ies, and traditional approaches of experiences, from humanities will feature panels of speakers partment to host MetaCTF, an LIST members will have the to problem-solving—is a com- majors to hardcore coders. I did throughout the day on the role all-day cybersecurity competi- opportunity to meet attorneys mon refrain. As these technolo- not have much of a “tech” back- of technology in antitrust and tion involving technical, legal, from many of these organiza- gies reshape our world, they will ground when I joined LIST. I competition, racial justice, and business, and policy challenges. tions and others at our spring also create some of the most joined because I was particularly national security, and will con- The event provided law students networking event to be held on pressing and most interesting interested in the implications of vene leading experts in business, with no computer-science back- March 27 of 2019. In addition legal questions that law students emerging technologies for na- government, nonprofit and the ground the opportunity to prac- to the student panel, in which will face over the course of their tional security law. Once I be- academy, with the Virginia Law tice solving coding problems, our pro bono students will speak legal careers. Lawyers will need came involved, though, I could Review accepting student pieces and meanwhile get exposed to about the tech law and policy re- to know, for example, if their not help but be fascinated by the for publication online. fields like reconnaissance, cryp- search they worked on through- company faces potential liability many opportunities LIST had to tography, and web exploitation. out the year, the event will also for a data breach based on the se- offer, and I decided to get more Education and Training Employers like Baker McKenzie, include a panel of professionals, curity of its data storage systems fully involved. the NSA, Raytheon, and Capital a networking reception, and din- or whether using a hash function LIST believes strongly that the One all sent representatives to ners with firms in attendance. to search computer files violates Speaker Series most effective learning comes meet the participants. My involvement with LIST the Fourth Amendment. Clients through practice. To that end, has been one of my most valu- expect and a well-functioning In its first two semesters, LIST LIST started its own pro bono Networking Opportunities able experiences in law school: legal regime requires that law- has been fortunate to attract program, the first of its kind at It has informed my career goals, yers understand the technology leaders from government, the the University of Virginia School LIST is grateful to have the helped me take steps toward underlying these types of ques- tech sector, law firms, and non- of Law. The pro bono program interest and support of a num- achieving them, and introduced tions. Too often, though, law- profits who shared their experi- is designed specifically for LIST ber of employers in the public, me to an incredible community yers lack tech fluency—they may ences and introduced students members and is made possible private, and nonprofit sectors, of students and practitioners think they are too busy or that to their areas of expertise, giv- through partnerships with non- who work with LIST to expose who I can look forward to build- it’s too difficult to learn. ing LIST members career advice profits in the technology and students to the ways in which ing professional and personal So in the fall of 2017, a group tailored to our specific interests. cybersecurity fields—and almost practicing attorneys interact relationships with for years to of UVA Law students came to- Speakers have included a for- all of our projects qualify for with tech issues and prepare come. LIST is always happy gether to launch the Law, Inno- mer cybersecurity director on PILA hours. LIST has sponsored students to enter practice them- to welcome new members, so vation, Security & Technology the National Security Council, more than thirty law students, selves. Hogan Lovells, Baker please do not hesitate to reach Society (LIST). LIST’s mission public policy officials from Uber pairing them with organizations McKenzie, Arnold & Porter, and out to me if you are interested in is to educate law students about and Verizon, and a prosecu- like the Global Cyber Alliance Venable have all actively sup- joining. the legal issues that a range of tor with the Computer Crimes and the Future of Privacy Fo- ported and collaborated with ---- complex emerging technologies & Intellectual Property section rum, which do innovative work LIST. We also work directly with [email protected] pose, provide students opportu- of the Department of Justice. in AI, smart cities, and more. government employers who are 4 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 28 November 2018 Justice Fortas: Johnson’s Blunder and the End of the Warren Revolution

Why does a justice of the Su- only resignation from the Court election. The Texas Democratic Johnson assumed the Presiden- yet simple in others. For one, his preme Court decide to leave the in disgrace. Party upheld the result in favor cy in 1963 there was no open- Jewish faith did not help, even Court? For some, the ravages of Born in Memphis, Ten- of Johnson, to which Stevenson ing on the Court. Of course, as though he was the fifth Jewish old age make the job impossible; nessee, the youngest of five responded to by suing in federal we saw last time with Marshall, justice on the Court, and though William he had already been approved Fassuliotis ‘19 to the Court without opposition. Guest Columnist In the perverse logic of racists, it might be one thing for a Jew others fear dy- to be on the Court as an associ- ing on the Court, ate justice, but chief justice was too busy to have a bridge too far. Like Brandeis spent their last before him, it is hard to say this moments with their loved ones. was the primary objection my Some are closely attuned to the any one senator (and in fact one politics of the Supreme Court Jewish senator supporter of For- and retire so their replacements tas said he did not believe the op- will not undo the very decisions position to be motivated by anti- they propounded while on the Semitism), but it certainly made bench. Only one has resigned opposition easier. in disgrace. When he publicly Initial opposition came announced his plan to retire in from conservative senators who June 1968, Chief Justice Earl opposed the perceived liberal- Warren said it was solely for rea- ism of the Supreme Court in sons of age.1 Seventy-seven years general and Fortas in particu- old, age was certainly one factor, lar. Nineteen of the thirty-six but it was not the primary factor. Republican senators came out As the election cycle was in opposition. No, that is not a coming into full steam, Richard typo: of the hundred senators, Nixon, Warren’s old California only thirty-six were Republi- political rival, seemed poised cans. On a purely party line vote, to win not only the Republican Democrats were only three votes nomination for President, but short of the two-thirds majority the general election as well. The President Johnson takes questions at a press conference, flanked by Justice Fortas (right) Photo courtesy the AP. needed to end a filibuster. The two still despised each other six- appointment looked assured teen years after Nixon undercut children to two Orthodox Jew- court. a lack of vacancy wouldn’t stop when Republican leader Everett Warren and helped Dwight D. ish immigrants, Abe Fortas at- The district judge voided Johnson. An opportunity would Dirksen (R-Ill.) early on came Eisenhower win the Republi- tended Yale Law School where the results, and set a hearing for arrive on July 14, 1965, when out in approval of the nomi- can nomination for president he would become close to future September 21 to determine how Ambassador to the United Na- nation, dismissing arguments in 1952. Their mutual contempt Justice, then-Professor William to continue. Johnson could not tions Adlai Stevenson died. against Fortas as “frivolous, di- only increased as Nixon cam- O. Douglas.3 Despite graduating wait long—state law required Johnson’s first choice for ambas- aphanous, and gossamer.” For- paigned on nominating judges second in his class, no firm was certification by October 3. John- sador was Harvard economist tas’ nomination would not be who would roll back the per- willing to hire Fortas because son feared that Stevenson would Kenneth Galbraith. Galbraith on a party-line vote, however, ceived excesses of the Warren of his Judaism. Douglas would continue the suit to try to keep did not want the job, and, des- as many Southern, conservative Court. For personal and ideo- help Fortas find work in D.C., him off the ballot out of spite, perate to avoid it, told LBJ that Democrats opposed the Warren logical reasons, Warren could helping implement New Deal so he called for Fortas and his Justice Arthur Goldberg “was a Court as well. The cross-party not stomach Nixon choosing his programs in the Roosevelt Ad- firm to win the suit. Johnson little bored on the Court,” and conservative coalition decried replacement.2 Instead, Warren’s ministration’s infancy. Among and Fortas had met before, while suggested him as a replace- the criminal procedure revolu- retirement permitted President other jobs, Fortas worked for Fortas was a government law- ment. Johnson took to the idea. tion they thought let criminals Lyndon Johnson, a New Deal the SEC and became one of the yer, but this was the first time Goldberg was known as a great off on “technicalities,” as well liberal, to have an opportunity youngest undersecretaries at they had sustained relations. On negotiator, and this would mean as the court’s decriminaliza- in the last months of his presi- the Department of the Interior. September 24, the Fifth Circuit Johnson could put his friend tion of “obscenity.” To hammer dency to solidify the Warren Like many other New Deal gov- refused to hear an appeal with- Fortas on the Court. Plus, Gold- the point home, Senator Strom revolution against the coming ernment lawyers, his familiarity out convening with all members, berg occupied the “Jewish seat” Thurmond (D-S.C.) held a “For- conservative counter-revolution. with the regulations and bureau- well after the deadline. Fortas on the Court, which could help tas Film Festival,” and screened Johnson nominated Abe Fortas, cracy made him attractive in the was able to get a hearing in front explain why Johnson chose For- for other Senators the porno- an associate justice already on private sector. In 1946, he co- of Justice Black4 and convinced tas over other candidates. graphic movies the Warren the Court, to replace Warren as founded Arnold, Fortas & Porter Black that federal courts did not But why would a member Court protected from prosecu- chief justice, and Homer Thorn- (now known as Arnold & Porter have jurisdiction over state elec- of the Supreme Court, with life- tion. berry to replace Fortas. Neither Kaye Scholer), where he was tions. On September 28, 1948, time tenure and guaranteed Another source of oppo- nomination would come to pass; extraordinarily successful and Black issued an order to end its importance, leave for a posi- sition came from Johnson’s Warren would not get his wish. known as a behind-the-scenes restraining order until the whole tion as ambassador? Especially lame-duck status. LBJ’s nomi- This is the story of Abe Fortas’ powerbroker in D.C. His ascent Supreme Court could hear it, Goldberg, who was practically nation came months after he brief time on the bench and the to the Supreme Court can be effectively ensuring Johnson just appointed to the bench by announced he would not run for traced to 1948 when an obscure would become the senator for Kennedy in 1962? The sources reelection, weakening his ability 1 In his letter to the President, Congressman from Texas hired Texas. Fortas would become differ. Most agree that Johnson to convince senators to vote for Warren actually worded his re- him to litigate an election-law one of Johnson’s main advisors played to Goldberg’s patriotism. Fortas. Opponents of Johnson tirement to be “effective at your squabble. That Congressman and confidants as LBJ ascend- Johnson greatly escalated Amer- leapt at the chance, saying the [President Johnson’s] pleasure.” was Lyndon Baines Johnson. ed to Senate majority leader, ica’s involvement in the Vietnam next president should choose the Johnson responded, “With your In 1948, Johnson sought vice president, and eventually War at this time, and he may justice, clearly hoping for Nixon agreement, I will accept your deci- a promotion and ran for the president. As a newly installed have intimated that Goldberg to win. Nixon’s role is unclear. sion to retire effective at such time U.S. Senate from Texas. During senator, Johnson told one of his could play a role in formulating Early on, he said that the next as a successor is qualified,” mean- this time in the South, the gen- aides “Abe would make a great policy. Goldberg for his part said president should get to replace ing the nomination hearings oc- eral election was a mere formal- Supreme Court justice.” Neither he was opposed to the Vietnam Warren, but did not specifically curred while Warren was still on ity. The real action was in the could have imagined only a de- War and hoped that he could oppose Fortas’s nomination, the bench and technically without Democratic Primary—whoever cade and a half later Johnson help end it. Other sources sug- saying he “would not interfere a vacancy. Arguably the first time a won the primary would become would be able to carry out those gested Johnson offered Gold- with the Senate’s right to decide Justice conditioned his retirement the new senator. LBJ came in idle musings. berg the vice president position on the nomination.” In Septem- on the confirmation of a succes- second in the first round of the The problem was that when on the Democratic ticket when ber, he came out against a filibus- sor, some Senators argued that a primary, after former Gover- he ran for re-election in 1968 or ter, but some suspected this was confirmation vote could not even nor Coke Stevenson, but as no 4 The petition almost did not even possible reappointment to intentionally done late in day occur without a vacancy. Right or candidate had a majority, the get to Justice Black. The court the court, including possibly as to look reasonable for the elec- wrong, this position did not win party held a runoff election. Af- clerk at first refused to accept chief justice. In any event, after torate without actually helping the day, and Warren would stay ter all the votes were counted, the petition as it refused certain a little fewer than three years Fortas. Whether Nixon privately on the bench until his successor “Landslide Lyndon” narrowly formalities. Desperate to get the on the Court, Goldberg stepped encouraged the opposition or took his spot. lead by eighty-seven votes. Both petition across, Fortas’ partner, down to become UN ambas- not, supporters clearly knew that sides accused the other of bal- Thurman Arnold, told the clerk sador. After some hesitance by were Nixon to win with a vacant 2 For more on the rivalry be- lot stuffing and electoral fraud; if he refused, the lawyers would Fortas, Johnson nominated him chief justice seat, he could more tween Warren and Nixon: The most historians accept that both “effectuate a lodgement.” Not to the Court. Fortas faced little easily fulfill his promise to stock Inside Story of Richard Nixon’s sides did indeed try to steal the wanting to risk a “lodgement,” opposition by the Senate, which the Supreme Court with justices Ugly, 30-Year Feud with Earl the clerk submitted the petition. approved him by voice vote on hostile to the Warren Court. Warren, by John A. Farrell, 3 I drawing primarily on the The threat was an empty one as August 11, 1965. Another source of opposi- March 21, 2017. https://www. works of Bruce Allen Murphy’s Arnold had no idea what a lodge- In stark contrast, Fortas’ tion came from Johnson’s close smithsonianmag.com/history/ “FORTAS: The Rise and Ruin of ment was other than some ob- nomination to replace Chief Jus- ties to his nominees. It was well inside-story-richard-nixons- a Supreme Court Justice,” and scure pleading he remembered tice Warren faced vehement and known that Fortas was a good ugly-30-year-feud-earl-war- Laura Kalman’s “Abe Fortas: A from law school. The clerk likely vigorous opposition. The reasons friend of Johnson’s. Thornberry, ren-180962614/ Biography.” had no idea either. are complicated in some ways, FORTAS page 7 Wednesday, 28 November 2018 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY 5 3L Head Sizes Revealed: “Ears” How Scenes From They Stack Up an Italian Every year the 3L class enjoys heads across the whole spectrum. While the 3L class has a defini- size of her head. Christy provided Thanksgiving a number of events that bring Woods plans to treat even the tive ranking for the biggest heads, the Law Weekly with the follow- the class together, such as the smallest heads in the class with there is no such consensus for ing statement: “All I can say is that It is late Saturday night as I Daniel K. Grill ‘19 the same respect as his big-head- the smallest heads. Lina Leal, an I’ve always had big hair, so I never sit at an airport bar in Durham. Staff Editor ed counterparts, and he hopes LLM from Colombia, earned the knew I had such a small head!! :) Two gin-and-tonics and a can they will return the favor to him. measurement for the smallest and I actually went up a quarter 3L bonfire and inch just to be safe, so my head is Tyler graduation. While actually smaller than they mea- D’Ambrose ‘21 these events are sured! :)” Graduation Co-Chairs Staff Editor certainly fun, no and noted phrenologists Robbie event has had as big of an impact Pomeroy and Julia Wahl declined of Copenhagen on Grounds as the graduation to comment on the matter. While mint were suffi- regalia measurements. What this may be disconcerting to those cient to dull the seemed like an innocent mea- seeking a definitive smallest-head- stress that accumulated as a surement by our Graduation Co- in-the-class, the two seemed con- product of a long, tiring day of Chairs (#SEN19RS) has revealed tent to share the title. cancelled flights and TSA tom- interesting information about The excitement surrounding foolery. After flipping through fellow classmates and even pitted the graduation regalia measure- Hunter S. Thompson’s mus- a number of classmates against ments has far exceeded anyone’s ings on the mundanity of po- each other. expectation. Pomeroy did not even litical journalism, I now feel This year’s biggest heads wel- realize the importance of the mea- capable of elaborating on my comed their newly discovered surements to the 3L class. “I only Thanksgiving break. status among the 3L class. The wanted to make sure we got tams Italians are intriguing peo- biggest head, Toccara Nelson, was instead of undergrad cardboard ple. They talk loudly, and they particularly pleased with her ac- graduation caps. I didn’t realize have a unique tendency of wav- complishment. “I’ll take this hon- that measuring the circumference ing their arms around as they or with me for the rest of my days,” of everyone’s head would bring the speak. Their manners aren’t she stated. “When my grandchil- class together as it has,” he shared. always on par with societal dren ask me ‘Grandma Toco, what Wahl was also surprised at the norms. In fact, approximately Large-headed Brendan Woods ’19 enjoys a slightly less large cigar. Photo did you do at UVA Law?’ I’ll say, impact her measurements have half of the food prepared for courtesy Brendan Woods. ‘Young child, my head was big AF . had and reflects positively on the an evening is consumed by an . . the biggest throughout the land. W. Campbell Haynes earned a head. She has always been aware experience. “I feel a lot closer with Italian family before it reaches Expecto patronus or whatever.’” surprising finish as only the third- that she has a small head, and was the 3L class after touching every- the dinner table. I say all this Brendan Woods, the second-big- biggest head in the 3L class. Given glad to earn this honor. She said, one’s foreheads,” she said. Need- to convey the point that one gest head, was also pleased to learn his buoyant locks and an appar- “It would have been a surprise to less to say, the graduation regalia may feel understandably out he had one of the biggest heads in ent misinformation campaign have the biggest head taking into measurements have provided the of his or her element when at- the 3L class. He highlighted the spreading that he had the biggest account that I am petite” (weird class with a wealth of personal in- tending a sufficiently Italian hardships he endured in earning head in the class, many expected flex but ok). While there is no formation about each other. While dinner gathering. Such was the this recognition. “I am used to get- a top-two finish for Haynes. Upon doubt that Leal has a small head, no one is really sure what do with position that my Uncle Nor- ting gasps from ski rental workers learning that he only had the third the Law Weekly has recently this information, there is no doubt man found himself in this past when they measure my head and I biggest head in the class, a notice- learned of a complication shak- that the excitement surrounding Thanksgiving. have a hard time finding hats that ably upset Haynes muttered, “Go ing up the smallest head rankings. the class’s head sizes will continue My uncle had the good for- fit my bulbous skull,” he shared, as Vols.” The Law Weekly is not Christy Allen, who was thought to as the semester progresses. tune of marrying into an Italian he held back tears. These experi- aware of the source of the rumors have the second-smallest head in ---- family thirteen years ago. I say ences, however, have shaped how regarding Haynes’s big head, but the class, claims that her measure- [email protected] good fortune because the gour- he relates with those who have will continue to pursue the matter. ments do not accurately reflect the met meals, strong family bonds, and lively political debates that accompany such an arrange- 1L Small Sections Not So Small in ment are more than sufficient to make up for the occasionally ill-mannered Italian-American Coming Semester lifestyle. However, that is not Changes are coming to the “The increase in credits was creased class sizes. Meg told same credits as 1Ls, but I’m to say that Italian familial gath- size of 1L classes next semes- the result of a routine review the paper, “People are more happy for the Class of 2021 erings are easy to be a part of. ter. Instead of having one conducted by the Vice Dean’s comfortable participating in and years to come.” Nel- Here it is worth noting for the Taylor Elicegui ‘20 office. The school periodical- the small section, and we def- lie Black ’20, a Legal Writ- uninformed audience the three Features Editor ly reviews course workload initely know Rip better than ing Fellow, told the paper, “I unwritten rules of Italian din- to make sure the credit allot- any of our other professors. I think increasing the credits ners. small–section ments are appropriate. It was think the smaller size makes will help students to feel like You must try all of the food. class, one com- our turn, and the assessment everyone more engaged with their work is proportional to This is the most iron-clad of bined class, and demonstrated a need for one the class (but that could also the credit they are receiving. the three rules. There are ab- two electives, 1Ls more credit to reflect work just be Rip’s teaching style). I think all students know how solutely no exceptions to this will have both outside of class. Accordingly, I hope they bring it back for important LRW is, but it can rule. I should know. In junior their core classes with anoth- the faculty implemented an future classes!” Head PA feel frustrating to put what high, while spending my Sun- er section. Additionally, LRW adjustment. We also con- Robbie Pomeroy ’19 said, “I feels like two credits worth of day morning running while II will now be a two-credit sidered whether some part think that having two larger time into the class and only covered in a garbage bag to cut class and LRW I will count of LRW might feed into the classes in the Spring will give receive one credit at the end weight for wrestling, I still had as a skills credit. The third ABA’s new skills require- students a better sense of of the semester. Likewise, I to sit and eat dinner with the LRW credit will be awarded ment. We concluded it could what to expect for their 2L think adding a professional- family. I then spent the rest of spring semester, but it will (as have a number of our peer and 3L years, as well as ex- skills credit helps to recog- the evening coming up with an reflect the time spent outside schools).” posure to more of their peers nize the time and effort that explanation for my coaches as of class in both the spring Students reacted to the in- in class.” Professor Charles goes into preparing and pre- to why I was seven pounds over and fall. crease in class sizes in a va- Barzun ’05, who occasionally senting oral arguments in the the weight limit. According to Associate riety of ways. 1L AJ Santiago teaches Con Law but won’t be Spring.” According to Ware, You must compliment Dean for Academic Services ’21 was not pleased to learn teaching the class this spring, the increase in credits will Grandma’s cooking. This ap- and Registrar, Jason Du- about the increase in class thinks there could be a slight not “prompt a major altera- plies even if she did not actual- gas, the faculty collectively size. He said, “Having only downside to the change. Bar- tion to the course as a whole; ly make anything. The primary decided to change LRW in 30+ people in a class allows zun believes there may be a rather, both are mostly based purpose of this rule is to show August. Regarding the com- each student a greater op- downside because students on an evaluation of what we your great love and apprecia- bined sections in Property portunity to ask questions always benefit from smaller are currently offering. We tion for the most highly regard- and Constitutional Law, Du- about difficult concepts, and classes, but ultimately, he think the credit changes just ed member of the Italian fam- gas explained, “There are I feel like it likewise helps doesn’t think the increase in better reflect the education- ily. The secondary purpose of many factors at play for the the professor to get a better class size will make much of al experience students are this rule is to stay in Grandma’s Vice Dean and me to con- sense of when the majority a difference. Barzun also ex- gaining through their LRW good graces, lest you suffer the sider when it comes to class of the class is struggling with plained that 1Ls didn’t have course work.” consequences.1 scheduling and sizing, with a concept. I have definitely small section classes in the In total, the changes are You will participate in the the result that the spring benefitted from my section spring when he was a student not large deviations from post-dinner, pre-dessert politi- 1L class size may vary from being able to have more in- and some of the classes used the past. Students can look cal discussion. This is an inevi- year to year. It could be that timate, in-depth discussions to have three sections, which forward to receiving an ex- tability. If you sit at the table 1Ls will take combined sec- in Contracts, in a way that was less preferable than class tra credit for LRW and get- with your eyes down while si- tions of these courses for we are simply not able to in sizes of sixty. ting credit for the skills they lently sipping a drink, you will many future spring terms, or any of our other classes. And Students generally re- develop. 1Ls will have larger THANKSGIVING page 7 it could be that they don’t— I can say with near certainty sponded positively to the class sizes next semester, we make that determination that I would have a better changes to LRW. Pomeroy which may be adjusted going 1 Diplomats at the Geneva from year-to-year.” Profes- grasp on a class like Torts also said, “I think it’s great forward. Conventions briefly consid- sor Sarah Ware, co-director if the class were smaller.” that students will be re- ---- ered adding “Italian Grandma of the Legal Research and Similarly, Meg McKinley ’21 warded for their hard work Ear-Beatings” to the list of Writing Program, added, was sad to hear about the in- in LRW. I wish we’d had the [email protected] prohibited war atrocities. 6 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 28 November 2018 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Appeals The Court of Petty Appeals is the highest appellate jurisdiction court at UVA Law. The Court has the power to review any and all decisions, conflicts, and disputes that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court comprises four associate justices and one Chief Justice. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: theVirginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all con- flicts to [email protected].

Smith v. 2L and 3L dants are breaching an implied give out free stuff, ordered to attend the collegial4 school The Court, in considering that Gunners covenant contained in the con- summary judgment in favor that is UVA Law. A desire to UVA Law is the Disney World tract of making it to the second of defendants on both counts “fit in” to the legal world does of law schools, cannot endorse 903 U.Va. 122 (2018) and third year of law school, of plaintiffs’ complaint, citing not excuse the clear violation of practical concerns like employ- namely that all upperclassmen so-called “legitimate” reasons cultural norms that this school ment, résumé builders, and be- Schmalzl, J., delivered the can’t care that much or work for studying as an upperclass- has long held dear, and as a re- ing successfully barred over the opinion of the Court, in which that hard so they all can ride man such as “a desire to clerk,” sult, defendants lose on these ultimate desires of happiness VanderMeulen, C. J., and Hop- the curve into the sunset of “wanting to get the most out claims. and laziness that 2Ls and 3Ls kin and Elicegui, JJ., joined. graduation. Second, plaintiffs the opportunity to attend a are guaranteed to enjoy. Con- Ranzini, J., filed a dissenting allege that defendants are tak- T14” and, most absurdly, “a Further, cases such as Mitch- sequently, any arguments put opinion. ing without due process of law goal to get the most bang for ell v. Those Damn 3Ls Gunning forth by defendants regarding plaintiffs’ property, here taking their buck” due to tuition costs. When They Should Be Taking policy concerns are not consid- the form of wellbeing and en- This court condemns the lower the FebClub Challenge, 423 ered here today. Justice Schmalzl delivered joyment of life that is guaran- court decision and reverses in U.Va. 7 (2014) and Goluboff v. the opinion of the Court. teed to them after the hell of 1L favor of plaintiffs on all counts Students Who Lie About Ne- III and OGI ends. The court first for reasons set forth below. glecting Reading in Violation This Court reverses Judge The class action before the summarizes the facts and re- of the Honor Code, 771 U.Va. Luk’s decision in the Court court concerns the complaints views the lower court decision II 225 (2015) support a decision of Petty Claims and finds for of several 2L and 3L students before addressing plaintiffs’ Plaintiffs’ allegations, that against defendants and all the plaintiffs in the class before us. of the sort that arise around complaints. defendants are breaching an studying they’ve engaged in As a remedy, this Court orders this time every year. Members implied covenant not to work this semester. Oddly, defen- an injunction against studying of the class have come back I hard post-1L spring and that dants cite no cases but urge for all upperclassmen who have from Thanksgiving break with The named class plaintiff, defendants are unlawfully tak- the Court to overturn prior gunned all semester and com- a semester of cases not read, 3L Smith, filed this complaint ing plaintiffs’ property in the precedent despite the clear role pels them to write, “I must not outlines not begun, and no after a recent interaction with form of wellbeing and enjoy- precedent plays in the Court’s tell lies or try to out-study my fucks to give about finals de- a “friend” she ran into upon ment of life guaranteed to decision making today. We re- classmates” again and again in spite their immediate threat on returning from Thanksgiving them after 1L, are supported by spond by rejecting defendants’ detention with Professor Dolo- the students’ grades and pride with her family. After saunter- long-standing tradition, prec- “argument” and urge them to res, visiting professor from the as they realize C+’s do, in fact, ing up to the coffee machines in edent, and public policy con- review Constitutional Law and unaccredited Hogwarts School exist.1 However, defendants MyLab and delighted to see no siderations. Plaintiffs’ conten- the importance of stare decisis of Law. This Court passion- in this action arrive back from line and two functioning ma- tion that the implied covenant in the Court’s jurisprudence. ately advocates for an end to break2 under very different cir- chines, she was humming “San- is either (1) a sacred tradition Our anti-gunning jurispru- the cruelty that is upperclass- cumstances: all cases read with ta Baby” when said “friend” en- as old as the Law School itself; dence is clear, and any explora- men studying and hopes this accompanying reading notes, tered the room. Cheerily, Smith (2) a norm handed down from tion of the specific claims levied decision is a step in the right outlines up to date on the asked her classmate about his the days of Jefferson himself; here is unnecessary. direction for law students ev- course material, heavily high- break and what fun he got up or (3) a custom since at least erywhere. lighted and annotated supple- to, to which he replied with a whenever they moved OGI to Finally, public policy con- ment books, and in search of cackle, “Wasn’t able to make it August is viewed in the light siderations support a finding It is so ordered. new E&Es for more practice home this year, had too much most favorable to plaintiffs, for the plaintiffs. While de- problems.3 Plaintiffs allege that work to catch up on.” Con- and therefore accepted as fact. fendants claim that studying Justice Ranzini, dissenting. this group of students, whose cerned by such an odd response Defendants argue that, as the after 1L is important to secure true size is unknown due to from an upperclassman, Smith times change, the customs and public interest jobs, find clerk- The Court today announces their deceitful lies about “not inquired about the work to be traditions must change with it. ships, and complete the bar a decision whose sentiments doing anything” as upperclass- done. The defendant, unnamed Further, defendants claim that exam, the Court does not find I applaud, but whose implica- men and secret studies in the for his own safety and protec- they are preparing themselves any of these considerations as tions I must deplore. No one alcoves of Slaughter Hall, are tion, began discussing the sup- for the profession they are important as the wellbeing of may doubt the sincerity of my committing multiple wrongs plements he needed to read, about to enter, namely one of upperclassmen and their abil- brethren Justices’ solicitous- deserving of punishment and the class lectures he needed to (1) secret late-night gunning in ity to go to Bilt, play softball, ness to the suffering of the remuneration for plaintiffs. re-listen to, and the questions the heights of the skyscrapers and, most importantly, nap. plaintiffs here, or impugn the First, plaintiffs allege defen- he needed to ask his professors in NYC in hopes of receiving a impulse to shield the innocent that would certainly take up the promotion as well as (2) a life of 4 ® from harm. But that, as Justice 1 Note: The Court hasn’t ac- entirety of their office hours. courteous-but-limited interac- tually confirmed that C+’s do, in Smith, resisting all urges to tion with anyone they meet for fact, exist, but it’s heard they do throw her freshly brewed hot fear of developing meaningful Faculty Quotes and that’s pretty much the same coffee on the defendant, smiled relationships that might tempt thing. politely as she swiftly moved to them away from the office. To G. Rutherglen: “A Friday suit.” the exit and filed the complaint these defenses the Court re- without Civil Procedure is like a day B. Armacost: “This topic 2 If they even left. that gave rise to this opinion. sponds with little sympathy; without sunshine.” is boring.” if these defendants wanted to L. Kendrick: “It’s all well and K. Kordana: “We’ve shift- 3 One was even overheard in the Judge Luk below, sitting perpetuate the harshness that good until you find a finger in your ed from a high-trust society to Library Reserve Room, cursing the in her normal chambers in the is the legal culture, then they chili.” a low-trust society overrun by librarians for not stocking enough hallway where the annoying should’ve known better than M. Collins: “You’re no potted meth addicts. Tragedy.” old versions for additional practice. bar review people sometimes plant!” A. Vollmer: “Some of you M. Gilbert: “I can tell who is out there are more anal than a 2L and a 3L: you’re looking for I am . . . I am pretty anal, lines! There’s no line. There’s a big but some people are worse, highlighter that’s faded on the mar- and some of them are in this Virginia Law Weekly gins.” room.” A. Johnson: “There are over Heard a good professor COLOPHON 500,000 frozen pre-embryos in quote? Email Jansen VanderMeulen ‘19 the US, each one a potential law- [email protected] Editor-in-Chief

M. Eleanor Schmalzl ’20 Executive Editor Anand Jani ‘20 David Ranzini ‘20 Kim Hopkin ‘19 Managing Editor Production Editor Development Editor

Ali Zablocki ‘19 Alison Malkowski ‘19 Katherine Mann ’19 Articles Editor Format Editor Features Editor Taylor Elicegui ‘20 Lena Welch ‘20 Jenny Lamberth ‘19 Features Editor New Media Editor Cartoonist-in-Chief

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Wednesday, 28 November 2018 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 7 FORTAS Holmes might have put it, is THANKSGIVING to shame. continued from page 4 tas taught at American Univer- not the whole of the way of the continued from page 5 At this point I think it is sity’s Law School. He received law. best to leave out the specific the nominee to replace Fortas, $15,000 for one year (worth still be asked to give your opin- details of the barrage inflicted was also a longtime friend of over $100,000 in today’s mon- It is the proud Anglo-Amer- ion. Here it is vital that you give upon my uncle. Needless to Johnson’s who actually took ey), over 40% of his $39,500 ican tradition whose flame we your honest take on current af- say, everyone felt at ease to Johnson’s seat in the House salary as a Justice. The money tend in this court, the spirit of fairs. If honest, you will only give him a piece of their minds. when Johnson became a sena- for his seminar came from for- Hobbes and of Burke, of Locke draw the ire of one half of the Grandma’s verbal attacks were tor. Though Thornberry was a mer clients and friends, some of and of Hamilton and Calabrese dinner attendees. If dishonest, by far the most brutal. Even circuit judge when nominated to whom had ties to criminal pro- and the Chicago Boys. From you are inviting a full-on bar- the kids got involved in the or- the Supreme Court, the appear- ceedings, and none of whom had specter-haunted Europe with rage of politically incorrect in- deal, undoubtedly filled with ance of cronyism left a sour taste any independent relationship its talk of egalité and frater- sults for having the gall to give tremendous shame at their fa- in the mouths of even senators with the university. At worst the nité we maintain our majestic such a ludicrous response. ther’s ill-advised and disingen- who were otherwise sympathetic payments looked like straight remove. But the French jurists My uncle, as one well-accli- uous soliloquy.2 to the Warren Court’s jurispru- up bribery, at best it created an have put their finger on what mated to Italian dinners, knows Despite this unfortunate dence. This was amplified when appearance of lack of objectivity is essential to the law in the full well the veracity of Rule 3. incident, my uncle showed tre- it came out that Fortas contin- (though no evidence ever came name they give to what we call To ease the inevitable pain, he mendous resilience after tak- ued to advise President Johnson that Fortas was actually cor- “a public policy argument”. In (somewhat) wisely makes sure ing his ear-beating. He poured even as a justice. This included rupted). Combined with his lies the original, it is resort to the to down a few Moscow Mules himself another Mule and helping write speeches (includ- above, Fortas exuded sleaziness ordre public, the public order, before the discussion begins. joined the family for the post- ing the 1966 State of the Union), unbefitting a chief justice. and that is what my brethren But while this strategy is some- dessert, pre-second-dinner and advising on legislation, vio- As these sources of opposi- jurists fail to appreciate today. times prudent, it has its own nap. As Italian Prophet Rocky lating the spirit of separation of tion developed over the sum- Law school has never been risks. These risks fully mate- Balboa once said, “Life’s not powers between the branches of mer and fall, it became obvious more accurately described than rialized last Thursday. During about how hard you can hit. government. Though this seems that Fortas could not overcome as “training for hierarchy”5 and our regular post-dinner, pre- It’s about how hard you can get obviously wrong now, justices a filibuster, and even if he could, an essential component of that dessert political discussion, hit and keep moving forward.” have taken advisory roles to the might not get a majority. To save training must include, every the hot topic was on guns. As And while Italians can some- other branches since the adop- face, Johnson forced a cloture once in a while, the sacrifice of should be expected from a po- times be pretty vicious, there is tion of the Constitution. Pos- vote. On October 1, 1968, the a select few pour encourager litically right-leaning family, one unwritten Rule that trumps sibly, Fortas’s advice differed Senate voted 45-43 to end the les autres. Without the goading many pro-gun sentiments were them all: always love and cher- in degree, as a near-constant filibuster, well short of the two- presence of “gunners” among expressed. At first, my uncle ish your family. I hope that presence in the White House as thirds majority required.5 John- them, and the specter of failure, seemed to concur. But as the my fellow law students got to opposed to the occasional let- son withdrew the nomination. financial ruin, and social - ridi Mules worked their way into his spend some time this Thanks- ters of other justices. Perhaps it Fortas was the first, and to date cule, how would our law stu- bloodstream, his answers be- giving with the people they love was different only in that it be- only, justice to be defeated by dents make the rod they need came more grandiose. After ten most. And if not, then at least came public while other advice filibuster. for their own backs—and for minutes of a hideously slurred be thankful that you weren’t remained private. In any event, And so Earl Warren’s fears their classmates’? What would defense of the second amend- my uncle. Fortas would be one of the last FORTAS page 8 be left to us as legal lodestars in ment, it became apparent that ---- justices to advise presidents on such a world? Mere kindness? Uncle Norman was not giv- [email protected] politics while justice, at least that 5 Like many cloture votes, it is Humanism? Mutual respect? ing his honest political views. has become public. Making mat- hard to tell if Fortas would have Rather, he was merely parrot- ters worse, Fortas clearly lied to had the same majority had the I respectfully dissent. ing the talking points from the 2 The dog was also in- the Senate about how involved vote been for confirmation. Many ---- two hours of Fox News we had volved. While I was unable to he was in advising Johnson, and Senators, out of respect for John- [email protected] just watched before dinner. He hear back from a credible dog these lies came to light during son, “took a walk” and did not broke Rule 3, and consequently whisperer, I’m pretty sure that the hearings. vote even though they publicly 5 Duncan Kennedy, Le- a verbal bombardment ensued “woof woooof” translates to “I Finally, there were financial opposed the nomination. On the gal Education and the Reproduc- with enough viciousness to put am deeply ashamed of your scandals. Of particular note were other side, some Senators who tion of Hierarchy, 32 J. L. Educ. Bush’s “shock and awe” assault lack of genuine political in- payments from a seminar For- opposed Fortas voted for cloture 591 (1982) sight.” anyways.

high school. They went on to win Moussa, at this point, you continuedHOT from page at seventeen major league hack- have tried to work the word Fake News: Law Student ing competitions! “shepherd” into a few of BENCH Wow! Is the incubator your answers, and so I have Incapable of Interaction what you did before com- to ask, what is it with you ing to UVA? Actually, my back- and “shepherd”? I come from ground is in echocardiography a long line of shepherds. My dad with Non-Law Friends and vascular technology, I am was a shepherd as a kid growing Jargon, Pedantry Mar Once-Firm Friendships a registered diagnostic cardiac up in Ethiopia. He would spend sonographer. I spent over five long stretches of time in the wil- In just three months since starting law school, citing nu- years helping physicians diag- derness with his flock. starting law school, first-year merous instances where he de- nose conditions of the heart and Did you ever want to be a law student Brian Krantz has railed perfectly normal conver- blood vessels in adults and chil- shepherd? No, I have the worst sation about non-legal topics by dren (and no, children aren’t just sense of direction. :( Graham Pittman ‘19 shoehorning in various Latin small adults!) I also built two Let’s do a lightning round! Guest Satirist phrases and legalisms. “Brian’s companies with my brother. Favorite place in Charlot- been acting like he’s the next Moussa Ismail ‘20 What made you give up tesville? The BLSA Office. managed to com- reincarnation of Justice Sca- that glamorous life for law pletely alienate lia ever since he took the LSAT. Hi Moussa! Thanks for school? I got tired of paying Pet peeve? Dirty bathrooms! himself from all Like we get it, dude. You go to coming to Hot Bench. the lawyers so much! But really, We’re all adults, there’s no rea- of his non-law school friends. law school. We actually had to We’re happy to have you. it was something of a journey. I son why it should be so dirty. Although Krantz’ friends were kick him out of our group chat a Let’s get the ball rolling originally wanted to be an inter- Favorite word? Why. initially supportive of his deci- couple weeks ago after he went with a few easy questions. ventional cardiologist, but dur- Favorite food? Maybe la- sion to pursue his dreams of be- on a four-paragraph rant, in- What is the story behind ing my last year in undergrad, sagna, but my favorite dessert coming a lawyer, they became cluding footnotes, about mens that brown hat you love to I realized that a lot of the prob- is definitely tiramisu made with increasingly alarmed as their rea and something called the wear? It’s my trademark look. lems in healthcare aren’t clinical ladyfingers and no rum. interactions with Krantz soon Exxon Doctrine after someone It’s like Mario and Luigi, my problems—they’re mostly busi- If you could live anywhere revolved exclusively around law shared a meme about President twin brother and I both have ness and legal problems. in the world, where would it school. Trump. I’m like 90 percent sure our signature hats. Were you deciding at that be? If I had the option, I would “Brian used to be a pretty he hasn’t even taken a constitu- You have a twin! There point between an MBA and just keep moving. I would be a cool guy, but he needs to chill tional law class yet . . . ” are a surprising number a J.D.? Well, I knew I wanted to nomad. It’s in my genes! out with this lawyer stuff,” said Krantz’s long-term girlfriend, of twins at the law school. be done with graduate school be- If you won the lottery, Jeff Holt, Krantz’ former room- Emily Johnson shared similar What does your twin do? fore thirty, but I wanted to spend what would you do with it? mate and childhood friend. “It’s concerns. “I understand that He’s in med school. He’s also in at least five years working in Disappear. I would claim the like he’s completely incapable long-distance relationships are his second year. He and I keep healthcare to make sure I really prize anonymously and then of having a conversation that supposed to be difficult, but in touch, and we still mentor understood the field, so I split quietly invest in things that will doesn’t involve jurisprudence we’ve really started running people from our flipped incuba- my time between the hospital change the world. or gossip about his classmates out of things to talk about. I tor program. and my companies. About four What is your least favorite who I’ve never met. I don’t don’t know how much longer What’s a flipped incuba- years in, I realized that many of sound? A fork scraping a plate. know how many times I’ve had I can pretend to be interested tor program? A traditional our business problems were re- What’s your spirit ani- to explain to him that I have no in the social dynamics of his incubator program brings in ally legal problems masquerad- mal? A stoat! Stoats breakdance idea what a tort is, much less study group or what he learned companies to help them grow, ing as business problems! It was to catch their prey. why it’s funny that some guy in in Civil Procedure. Brian’s also but for us, our focus was on then that I decided on the J.D. If you could make one his section didn’t understand been spending a lot of time with the people who would go on What kind of impact do rule that everyone had to how Judge Learned Hand’s this one girl in his section, but to build those companies. My you hope to have as a law- follow, what would it be? negligence calculus informed he says not to worry about it brother has this thesis: “Talent yer? I would make it mandatory for the development of duty of care because she has a long-distance is everywhere, but opportunity I’d like to shepherd the next everyone to travel and live some- in the American common law boyfriend. I’m sure it’s noth- isn’t,” and we ran with that idea. generation of great companies, where with a culture very differ- system.” ing.” We worked exclusively with especially those addressing is- ent from their own for two years. Other sources corroborated ---- underrepresented minority stu- sues in healthcare and the life --- Holt’s assertions that Krantz [email protected] dents in community college and sciences. [email protected] has become insufferable since SOCIAL DEATH page 23 8 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 28 November 2018 FORTAS mored, this relationship did not continued from page 7 come out during the confirma- tion hearing. Only after would a Cartoon By Jenny were realized, and Richard Nix- reporter find enough sources to on narrowly won the 1968 elec- be confident enough to publicize tion. Though Warren considered the accusation. On May 5, 1969, rescinding his retirement letter, Life Magazine published “Fortas he concluded it would be hypo- of the Supreme Court: A Ques- critical and publicly indefensible tion of Ethics,” including accu- after he said he was too old. Nix- sations Wolfson was motivated on and Warren agreed that War- to retain Fortas to help avoid ren would stay on the Court until legal trouble through Fortas’s the end of the 1968-69 term to connections with the president. avoid an eight-justice Supreme Fortas conceded he accepted a Court. Though bruised, Fortas payment for the first year, but remained defiant in public and that he severed the connection returned to the court. Neither after that year and returned the would be on the bench when the money eleven months later. Ly- sixties came to a close. ing again, he said this was all the Beyond the American Uni- connection the two had. versity payment, Fortas had oth- Eventually, the Justice De- er skeletons in his closet. When partment found the original Johnson first approached Fortas lifetime contract, showing the about becoming a justice, Fortas connection actually ran deeper. resisted. Chief among his rea- Attorney General John Mitch- sons were concerns about lack ell privately delivered copies of of money as a justice and that he the evidence to Chief Justice would be removed from the “ac- Earl Warren, who remarked to tion” he was an integral member his secretary, “He [Fortas] can’t

of as a partner. Hearing of this, stay.” Louis Wolfson, a self-made mil- With calls byEnjoy! RepublicansGMT. 2018 21:26:08 26 Nov Mon on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated lionaire, asked Fortas to be a to step down, no Democrats consultant for his foundation in or other supporters defending 1966. Wolfson explained that him, and having lost the faith of the foundation was to be for his brethren on the Court, For- the advancement of civil rights tas resigned on May 14, 1969, a and other causes Fortas sympa- month short of his 59th birth- thized with. The two negotiated day. Earl Warren would retire a lifetime contract, where Wolf- a month later on June 23. The son would pay Fortas $20,000 Warren Court, in spirit as well a year for the rest of his life, and as in name, looked to be at its his wife’s life if she survived For- end. Next time: Richard Nixon’s tas. This alleviated Fortas’ two nominees and his attempt to worries, and he accepted. change the Supreme Court. Wolfson ran into legal trou- ---- ble with the SEC for various secu- [email protected] rity-law violations, a connection that clearly would cause prob- lems for any justice. Though ru-

TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? WEDNESDAY – November 28 Mexican Necropolitics & 18:00 – The Question of World Minor Hall Free Reception follows 20:00 Literature Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.54)SUDOKU THURSDAY – November 29 13:00 – Music Dept. Teatime Old Cabell Hall Free ---- 14:30 Recitals 2 3 6 FRIDAY – November 30 US National Security 11:00 – Free with RSVP @ Policy in the Trump Miller Center ---- 12:00 millercenter.org 5 1 2 3 Presidency ピザに決まっ JB Moore / LLM Language Student Lounge 9 8 2 7 11:30 Free てるだろう Social 2 （笑） 11:30 – A Capellate Opinions 3 5 1 6 Caplin Pavilion Free Donuts 12:00 Study Break VA Bar Assoc. Study t 11:30 WB 152 Free “Food” Break Info Session Library Wikipedia Edit-a- 13:00 – Harrison Small Refreshments thon: Surfacing Black Life Free 16:00 Auditorium provided in Charlottesville 4 9 6 3 13:00 – Music Dept. Teatime Old Cabell Hall Free ---- 14:30 Recitals 7 2 4 9 20:00 – VA Glee Club 78th Annual o c k e Old Cabell Hall $5 students $15 general ---- 21:30 Christmas Concert SATURDAY – December 1 1 6 8 9 15:30 – Chamber Music Ensenble Brooks Hall Free ---- D 17:00 Recital 20:00 – Cville Symphony Family $10-45 general, UVA 6 8 1 Old Cabell Hall ---- 21:30 Holiday Concert students free UNDAY h e S – December 2 15:30 – Cville Symphony Family $10-45 general, UVA Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku Solutionon Mon Nov 26 21:26:08 2018 GMT. Enjoy!

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