Law Weekly 2017, 2018, & 2019 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner A Look Catherine MacKinnon Gives 2020 McCorkle Lecture ...... 2 Editors Debate: Which is the Best ?.....3 Inside: COPA Cracks Down on Lack of Cookies...... 4 Journal Tryouts: Pro and Con...... 6

Wednesday, 12 February 2020 The Newspaper of the School of Law Since 1948 Volume 72, Number 16 around north Fourth grounds Annual Thumbs up to Barrister’s Dan Richard- Shaping son for landing a clerkship with Justice Justice Breyer. ANG just hopes that Dan doesn’t Confer- get caught up in the den Ball 2020 of vipers that is D.C., and returns soon to the Law ence An Affair To Remember? School, which has never had problems with snake Sarah Houston ’20 infestations. Guest Writer As future lawyers of Thumbs slight- America, we are taught in downward angle Law School to take con- to the stage at voluted issues and make the Jefferson them clear, to put them Theater. ANG liked watch- in neat little boxes, and to ing pre-lawyers lost to the embrace the linear. But at law of gravity. this year’s Shaping Jus- tice Conference, panelists Thumbs up to and speakers alike pushed surprise Best Pic- us to embrace complex- ture Winner, Par- ity in non-linear ways. asite. There was When these social justice a lot of talk about a lack lawyers are trying to not of representation at the only assist people who Oscars, but ANG survives have been marginalized, on free food and secretly but to transform the en- sleeps in the secret Law tire system within which School basement, so ANG this subjugation is creat- felt highly represented by ed, the solutions are often the winner. found in very unlikely co- alitions. Members of these Barrister’s revelers. Top row from left to right: Luke Smalanskas, Kareem Ramadan ’20, Jake Rush ’20, Ben Bhamdeo ’20, Ethan Silverman ’21. Front row from left to Thumbs down unexpected partnerships right: Anna Noone ’20, Megan Mers ’20, Allie Block ’20, Kayla Seltzer ’20. Photo credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. to the new li- 2:05 p.m.: Football is back sign, I should slow down on brary thief at the spoke side-by-side at pan- Phil Tonseth ‘22 on TV. I have abandoned all the beers. Then again, I paid Law School. Go els throughout the day, Staff Editor highlighting the multi- hope of productivity for to- $65 for an open bar and will back to stealing the Ken- dimensional character of 7:53 a.m.: Wake up, crack day. Bud Light, DiGiornos, get my money’s worth. Sorry, nedy bust and leave our progressive lawyering in a cold one. Senior prom way and the XFL. Could this be Mom. wallets and laptops alone. areas such as transgen- back in 2011 didn’t go as well more American? 8:10 p.m.: I showed up der rights, sex work, en- as it could’ve,1 so today will 3:17 p.m.: It’s not drinking fashionably on time. Benefits? Thumbs up to vironmental change, and make up for everything that alone when you get your two The open food bar had pizza Mitt Romney. restorative justice. Many night wasn’t. cats to have a glass of Pinot and chicken and waffle bites. You can’t be that of the panelists’ clients 8:02 a.m.: I lace up the Meow and Mos-Cat-o with I should’ve worn expandable much of a silver face intersecting levels of Nikes™ to get a jog in. I spe- you.2 pants. fox without possessing at oppression, from housing cifically tailored my pants to 6:13 p.m.: My mandatory 8:43 p.m.: $2 for a pro- least some moral charac- to immigration to health- show off my assets, so this run friends,3 who I know volun- fessional picture? That was ter. care, and it is within these is my last hope I don’t split tarily hang out with me, have a steal. I crossed off a new areas that activists have my pants breaking it down to catered in Italian food for our headshot for LinkedIn, my Thumbs down found meaningful collab- “hot girl bummer.” pre-game. I lovingly support next Christmas card, and to the inex- orative space. 8:19 a.m.: That was the this suggestion, because it’s something to send my mom plicable “Lose The Advocacy for Trans- worst two miles I have ever a classy way to request pizza. to show her I know how to tie Yourself” perfor- gender Rights panel gave run in my life. Bud Light However, thumbs down to my own tie now. mance by Eminem at the us a look into what fight- burps don’t coincide well with Charlottesville for not having 10:15 p.m.: Good thing Oscars. ANG is pretty sure ing for transgender rights regrets over running at 8 a.m. an Olive Garden. That’s true my drink is cold. Apparently it is 2020, not 2002. looks like in community on a Saturday. Italian-o. “dabbing” and hitting your centers, on the streets, 8:20 a.m.: Bud Light Selt- 7:22 p.m.: I asked for one girlfriend in the face isn’t the Congratulations and in the courtroom. zers are both delicious and thing for my birthday: a dino- best way to show I can break it to Abbey Meyers Joaquin Carcaño, the also water-like. Classic form saur tie-tack. I have lost said down low. Thornhill ’20 and lead Plaintiff in Carcaño of both hydration and intoxi- tie-tack. I am morose.4 10:29 p.m.: The DJ played Austin Seymour v. Cooper, spoke of his cation. Cheers to you, Bud. 7:23 p.m.: My girlfriend has “Hit Me Baby, One More Johnson ’20 on their experience being thrown 11:31 a.m.: Turning twen- informed me that she already Time,” “Party in the USA,” quick engagement and into the national spot- ty-seven next week means it put my tie-tack on me, as she and “Get Low,” all within ten upcoming wedding, hap- light as he worked with takes a three-hour nap post- knew I’d forget it. At least one minutes. I wasn’t prepared pening tonight. Wishing lawyers, minimum wage run to recover. Time to start of us is smart; she’s earned to relive my angsty teenage you all the happiness and groups, and sexual as- the day, part two. her keep. Maybe forgetting years, but am very thankful children this world has to sault prevention organi- 11:32 a.m.: In typical 1L my tie-tack on my chest is a for the open bar now. offer! zations to challenge HB fashion, I’m doing homework 11:07 p.m.: S/O to Kolleen 2, the North Carolina bill on the weekend. Will I re- 2 This is cat-nip wine, not Gladden for taking pictures Thumbs up to banning transgender indi- member any of this ConLaw actual alcohol. Please don’t all night. I may have taken the Iowa Caucus- viduals from using public on Monday? Doubtful, but call PETA on me. I have no forty different shots, but the es. People might restrooms consistent with that’s equally attributable to other friends besides my cats. camera loved me. I can’t apol- complain, but they their gender identity. Mia my pending drunkeness as to ogize for that. still got the results out Yamamato, a community ConLaw being utterly made 3 S/O big J.D. energy 11:25 p.m.: Coat check is faster than ANG’s grades. activist and criminal de- up nonsense. getting wild. Plus side, they Next semester ANG will fense lawyer who grew up 4 It’s a brontosaurus, my keep bringing pizza by so I just declare ANG received in a Japanese internment 1 If you’re reading this Alee, go-to dino. Did you guess can steal a slice. Double plus all As before any grades camp, explained how you were a wonderful date. I, right? Refer to Vol. 72, No. 13, side, I forgot I put slices of have been released. Cau- “coming out is the most on the other hand, was a typi- “What Type of Dinosaur Are bread in my peacoat. Snacks cus? They hardly know us! SHAPING JUSTICE page 2 cal teenage boy and wish I You? The Results Will Shock BARRISTER’S page 3 could re-do things. You!” 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 12 February 2020 McCorkle Lecture: Equality and the First Amendment This past Thursday, Febru- Dean Goluboff gave an intro- have a Dean who has some- quent research has focused was clear: The weaponization ary 6, Catherine A. MacKinnon duction discussing the origin thing worth listening to every on how we have arrived at of the First Amendment by delivered the 2020 McCorkle of the McCorkle Lecture Se- time they speak.1 MacKinnon’s this point; she traced various society’s powerful groups did Lecture, entitled The First ries. The series is funded by talk2 was based on the general Supreme Court cases dealing not “come out of nowhere” Sam Pickett ‘21 the wife and son of Claiborne principle that the First Amend- with free speech to see how the and it is not counterbalanced News Editor Ross McCorkle, who graduat- ment began as a weapon for doctrine has shifted from “con- by the neutrality. MacKinnon ed from UVA Law in 1910 and the powerless, but it has since tent neutrality” to “viewpoint advocated for a return to the Amendment: An gained fame when he prosecut- been transformed into a weap- neutrality.” The problem with First Amendment’s protection Equality Read- ed two leaders of a lynch mob on for the powerful. While the this shift, MacKinnon argued, of dissent and for a building ing. MacKinnon in 1920, securing their convic- First Amendment was initially is that neutrality is rooted in into the First Amendment a is a professor at tion and dealing a severe blow meant as a defense against the the abstract notion of “formal substantive understanding of the University to mob violence in southwest power of the state, it is now a equality” that lacks substan- inequality that would help the of Michigan Law School and Virginia. This lecture was par- “sword used by racists, anti- tive direction. This doctrine Court expose expressions of has been a visiting professor ticularly important, Dean Gol- Semites, and corporations enforces social inequality and inequality and support expres- at Harvard Law School since uboff said, because it marks buying elections in the dark.” silences the speech of the dis- sion by subordinated groups 2009. She has written dozens the 100th anniversary of co- Consequently, public speech advantaged and subordinated. about their inequality. of books, but is perhaps best education at UVA Law—Eliza- has escalated in its abusive- One example she gave was the MacKinnon’s speech known for her work arguing beth Tompkins was admitted ness, with the offensive groups constitutionalization of the was fascinating and seems as that sexual harassment con- to UVA Law in 1920. Dean making themselves seem as if law of libel. While I had always groundbreaking as her work stitutes sex discrimination. In Goluboff also recognized, they are the victims and po- taken for granted that mak- on sex discrimination. She fact, in 1980 the Equal Em- however, that it took another sitioning themselves as just ing it hard to sue under libel challenged many of my own ployment Opportunity Com- forty-seven years for the first debaters giving opinions. In was a good thing, MacKinnon notions about the law and has mission followed her frame- African American woman, the meantime, the voices chal- challenged that perspective by inspired me to reconsider my work on sexual harassment Elaine Jones ’70, to be admit- lenging inequality in the world demonstrating how it made own view on the First Amend- in prohibiting quid pro quo ted. The Dean was careful to are muted and further abused, the media, an already pow- ment and the role it plays in harassment and hostile work point this out because, “as we all in the name of free speech. erful social institution, even the power dynamics of our so- environment harassment. celebrate our milestones in the Much of MacKinnon’s subse- more powerful and made it ciety. She also represented Bosnian story of gender and sex equal- unnecessary for the law or the women survivors of Serbian ity, we have to locate these 1 We at the Law Weekly public to consider the power to --- genocidal sexual atrocities in stories and milestones within also stan Dean Goluboff. publish falsehoods. [email protected] a case where she won a $745 the similarly messy stories of MacKinnon then transi- million verdict at trial in 2000. the inequalities experienced 2 I would like to say ahead tioned from discussing libel The case represented the first by others.” The Dean’s com- of time that I did my best to to discussing obscenity, and time that rape was considered ments, which coincided with follow MacKinnon’s speech, more specifically, pornogra- an act of genocide. These are UVA’s Diversity Week, were but there were certain por- phy. MacKinnon discussed just a few of MacKinnon’s ac- a strong reminder of how far tions that admittedly went how obscenity protected por- complishments, which, as we have come and how much over my head. She mentioned nography, despite the fact that Dean Goluboff noted, show more work we all have to do. many Supreme Court cases the harms of the production her commitment to ending the Beginning her lecture, and I would have liked to have and consumption of pornog- inequality that affects wom- MacKinnon started by giving been able to read the speech so raphy have been empirically en’s lives. the Dean a shout-out, remark- I could fully absorb it. That be- demonstrated for many years. Before MacKinnon began, ing that it is not often that you ing said, this is my best effort. The major theme of the speech

SHAPING JUSTICE genders rights, the answer involved, the incident that things with complexity” and for the event, instead us- continued from page 1 was simple: “employ us, give occurred, and what every- to embrace often changing, ing the cities and towns he us jobs.” one agrees to beforehand. messy coalitions. Lawyers passed as sign posts for us, revolutionary thing one can Restorative justice was the It is meant to rehabilitate should continuously be ask- explaining his winding jour- do” and emphasized how focus on the Dismantling the person who committed ing “Who is in this commu- ney from prison, to Yale Law important it is for different Mass Incarceration through the crime by forcing them to nity?” or “Who is being af- School, to political appoint- progressive movements to Restorative Justice panel. confront what they did and fected by this perpetrators ment. Mr. Betts is first and put themselves on the line Many of us in the audience mend relations with both actions?” in order to gain foremost a poet. This was for each other when so many had no idea what restorative the victim and the wider even more support for this evident as he told us about stand by as transgender men justice looked like in prac- community. We were given movement away from mass his life as if we were on the and women are routinely tice, but by the end were the chance to hear from a incarceration. curving road with him. It is outed in public without any inspired by this paradigm- Restorative Justice advo- The keynote speaker, so important for lawyers and choice in the matter. Bary shifting response to the mass cate, a professor of social Reginald Dwayne Betts, had students of the law to engage Hausrath, who runs a firm incarceration that currently work, a member of the NGO a difficult time getting to with those who bear the re- that specializes in LGBTQ+ defines the US’s criminal Restorative Justice Project, UVA for the conference. His sults of their actions, but too representation in trust and justice system. This practice and a public defender who plane was canceled, so he often there is a divide. Mr. estates, warned us to never brings together victims and are all working in different decided to take a car from Betts, who was still legally a discount someone as a po- perpetrators in order to heal ways to deter perpetrators D.C. to Charlottesville. It minor when he was impris- tential ally based on the harm instead of punish. The while treating them as real was during that car ride that SHAPING JUSTICE page 8 community they come from. issue is that restorative jus- people. One of the speakers he decided to completely He has found very meaning- tice is not generalizable. It is warned against the tendency change his planned speech ful support in rural com- not, contrary to the beliefs we have to take one person’s munities outside his usual of many, focused squarely story as indicative of an en- network. When asked by an on obtaining forgiveness tire group’s lived reality, in- audience member what al- from the victim. It looks dif- stead challenging us to “hold lies can do to further trans- ferent based on the parties

Chris Kavanaugh ’06 speaks in Caplin Pavilion after receiving the Shaping Justice Award for Extraordinary Achievement. Photo credit Michael Schmid ’21. Keynote speaker Reginald Dwayne Betts speaks about his life and career in Caplin Pavilion on Friday evening. Photo credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. Wednesday, 12 February 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Features 3 Tweedledee and Tweedledum: When it comes to our favorite in the High School Musical series, sometimes, we are not all in this together.

High School Musical 3 > and Gabriella kiss, so there isn’t Watching these characters be- inspirational that I feel ready to HSM1, which features some clas- OG High School Musical really much argument. come more mature is one of the write the rest of this article after sics in its own right, like “Start of Lena and I are both huge fans So where do I diverge from great joys in the HSM universe, listening to it just once. It also Something New,” “Get’cha Head of the High School Musical Tril- Lena? I believe HSM3 is better and HSM3 is the best example of features a touching moment be- in the Game,” “Bop to the Top,” ogy. Beginning in 2006, High than HSM1, and to be honest, if it. tween Gabriella and Troy, where and, of course, “.” Sam Pickett ‘21 you disagree with me it’s because Secondly, the plot of HSM1 she gives him the strength to win But those aren’t the ones News Editor you’re being nostalgic. HSM1 is is basic. A boy and a girl discover the game. All very intense. Then you want to listen to over and an excellent movie, but it is also that they want to break out of there is the classic “Can I Have over again. You hear them once, School Musical, the one where the characters are the “status quo” society has set This Dance?” where Troy and you acknowledge that they’re High School Mu- the least developed, the plot is for them, but their friends don’t Gabriella dance BEAUTIFULLY great, but then you move on. sical 2, and High the simplest, and the music is want them to. After some she- and ROMANTICALLY on the “Bop to the Top” does Bop, but it School Musical 3: undeniably the worst.1 nanigans, they all learn the value roof of the school after TROY has is also just a bit annoying after a Senior Year, the First, the characters in in being who they want to be, just bought GABRIELLA tickets while. Not true with HSM3. trilogy follows the journey of two HSM1 are still at that stage in the and they come together to ac- to the prom. Go watch the video Anyway, in conclusion HSM3 teens, Troy Bolton and Gabri- trilogy where they embrace their complish all of their goals and of it and tell me you are not in- is the second best HSM, and ela Montez, from very different typical high school stereotypes. everyone is friends. That’s it. It spired. If Maria2 saw that and anyone who denies it should worlds as they work to discover Chad is still a basketball jock was perfect for 2006, but 2008 wanted to leave me for some- re-watch the first and see how who they are and what they be- who lacks any big-picture view (When HSM3 was released) de- one who could dance like Troy, I much of a difference two years lieve in. of life; Ryan and Sharpay are still manded more. In HSM3, the would honestly help her because can make in how EXCELLENT a We both agree that HSM2 is the snooty theater kids; and Tay- characters juggle the follow- I also aspire to leave myself for movie can be. the best movie. The plot? Engag- lor is still the annoying science ing conflicts: Troy and Gabriela someone who could dance like ing and aspirational. Who hasn’t geek who hates all of the popular must decide what will happen Troy. What Team?! OG HSM wanted to spend the summer people. While the whole point of to their relationship when she I could keep going on about Please email editor@law- working at a swanky summer the first movie is how these char- goes off to Stanford; they must the songs, but I would also like weekly.org if you would like to resort with your friends? The acters break out of their shells, all organize and plan a musical to emphasize how intricate the see two dummies fulfill their music? Unmatched in any of the I would prefer for there to be about their high school careers; choreography is for the film. other films. “Fabulous” showed no shell at all. The second and Sharpay must fight to maintain “The Boys are Back,” filmed in a Lena Welch ‘20 us the value of knowing what third movies are so good, in fact, her role in the musical after her junkyard, features the boys do- New Media Editor you want out of life; “Work This because the characters are all assistant almost takes over; Troy ing sick acrobatic moves with Out” taught us that anything friends and they have each oth- has to pick a college; and every- the junk. “Scream” features upper-level writ- can be a musical instrument; “I ers’ backs no matter what. The one must deal with the impend- Troy passionately singing and ing requirements Don’t Dance” proved that base- friends are so supportive that ing separation that college will dancing in the school hallways by dissecting the ball and dancing are the same in the third movie Chad is even bring. It is riveting. Also, Troy WHICH START TO MOVE. High School Mu- game; “Gotta Go My Own Way” okay with his best friend Troy and the East High Wildcats won AND TROY JUST GOES WITH sical franchise. I was supposed tore our hearts out and gave me violating their childhood pact to a championship at the beginning IT. Then there is “Night to Re- to cut down my original 1,129- my go-to karaoke for the play at the University of Albu- of the movie. How can a movie member,” which I watched the word draft, but I ended up writ- rest of my life; “Bet On It” gra- querque so that he can attend starting with “Rocketman” hit- night of my senior year prom to ing more… ciously gave us the iconic image Berkeley to be closer to Gabriela. ting a game winner NOT BE get me hyped up for the main I’m quite impressed by of Troy Bolton dancing passion- AMAZING? event. I could go on about ev- Sam’s argument, given how ately on a golf course and hitting 1 I want to be clear, worst is Finally, there’s the music. Oh ery song, but I think my point is little merit it possesses. High his own reflection; and “Every- a relative term. The worst mu- sweet lawd, the music. It starts proven. School Musical, which Sam calls day” put the pieces of our hearts sic in the HSM trilogy is still with Troy leading a comeback This is in grave contrast to “HSM1” even though it is simply back together. This was also the better than most songs in the in the state championship game first movie where we saw Troy world. with “Now or Never,” a song so 2 My girlfriend. TWEEDLE page 5

BARRISTER’S able hoodie with your Nin- The proper way to learn how the jaded 3Ls take on An Af- Christina Luk ’21 continued from page 1 tendo Switch—because why to make dumplings is to watch fair to Remember. Executive Editor the heck not—and two other your grandmother make them Despite some snafus, I’d So, I was asked to give a friends. and then be relentlessly ridi- say Barrister’s was a hit, and for days. 2L perspective on Barrister’s Step Four: Fold dumplings. culed until you’re old enough people (those who could at- 12:37 a.m.: Common this year, but I’m just going to Am I actually going to explain to tell someone else they’re tend) had a great time. How- House’s chairs are so comfy talk about eating dumplings, this? Yes, because I haven’t doing it wrong. I am available ever, I feel compelled to get that I may have actually fall- which is how I actually spent met my word count yet. We’re on Friday evenings to laugh at my critiques out of the way be- en asleep waiting for a drink. the evening of February 8, starting with imaginary store- anyone who wants to learn. fore moving on to the positive Time to go home. Until next 2020. bought dumpling skins be- Step Five: Eat the dump- things. Obviously, the event year, Barristers. #lawhoos Step One: Fail to procure cause I’m too lazy to imagine lings while reading and venue wasn’t big enough. 1:05 a.m.: This is the one a ticket to Barrister’s and making them myself. Make laughing at all the group texts Given the lack of tickets to the time that future me loves past rejoice in the freedom this sure they’re circular, we’re you’re getting that say, “are main event, it was particu- me. Saving a slice of DiGior- brings you. making pot stickers here, not u here yet?” “come dance~” larly unfortunate that Com- nos pizza for my drunken stu- Step Two: Find a mom- wontons, jeez. Now place one or “omg there’s pizza here.” mon House reached capacity por was the best idea since friend who will host your sor- dumpling skin flour-side up Hahahaha. Man, those dump- and wouldn’t let people in. I sliced bread. ry ass on a Saturday night and on your palm and fill with lings were good. know it’s hard to find a venue 1:06 a.m.: Turns out I had convince her that this would your filling of choice. Dip your in Charlottesville and I did one last piece of sliced bread be a great time to gorge your- finger in a saucer of water Taylor Elicegui ’20 appreciate being somewhere in my pocket. I cannot decide selves on dumplings because and run it along the lip of the Features Editor other than The Omni, but 600 which is better now. My stom- you do not have to fit into a circle. Now bring the bottom tickets are not enough for a ach is very content. little black dress. (My mom- edge of the circle up to the top The time-honored tradi- school the size of UVA plus 1:22 a.m.: My cats are very friend is Kunchok Dolma ’21, and crimp the skin toward the tion of law students getting non-law significant others. miffed that I’m up, eating, and who makes amazing Tibetan center until you’ve closed the dressed up to get down on My other critique: The entire keeping them awake. They’re momos—y’all can find your gap. If that made zero sense the dance floor has come and BARRISTER’S page 8 off their cat-nip high now, own. I will not share.) to you, then you read it right. gone, and I’m here to provide guess it’s my turn to sleep too. Step Three: Show up at her Case dismissed. house in your most comfort-

Dumplings (left) made by Christina Luk ’21 instead of attending Barrister’s. Photo credit Christina Luk ’21. Barrister’s photo (right) from left to right: top Marc Petrine ’21, Jacob Sillyman ’21, Jacob Jones ’21, Zane Clark ’21, Will Joyce ’21, bottom: Jonah Panikar ’21, and Samwise Pickett ’21. Photo credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 12 February 2020 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Appeals The Court of Petty Appeals is the highest appellate jurisdiction court at UVA Law. The Court has the power to review any and all decisions, conflicts, and disputes that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court comprises four associate justices and one Chief Justice. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: the Virginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all con- flicts to [email protected]

1L Cookie Monsters v. were an acceptable substitute relatives who ask if they’ve put dents before Hangry were left otherwise expressly stated, ac- UVA for cookies in this singular in- on any weight as much. While to wander as a collective, hun- ceptance by any manner or me- 370 U.Va 100 (2020) stance due to the high quality the Court did indeed establish gry Moses through the school. dium reasonable in the circum- of their buttercream frosting). an inalienable right to snack Options, albeit not as scrump- stances is valid. The Court can Judge Stievater, sitting These WWDs were, of course, that does encompass eating tious as a Snickerdoodle, are think of no more reasonable by designation, delivered pretense to grab as many cook- cookies, the 1Ls confuse this nevertheless available to all. manner of acceptance than by the opinion of the Court, in ies as their little 1L hands could right with an expectation that The Court declines to extend eating the cookies which were which Judges Birch, Vieria, carry back to the library to stuff the Law School provides them. our holding in Hangry to re- offered. Furthermore, UCC Imadi, Tonseth, Wunderli, their faces with as they read No one contests that 1Ls have quire free cookies for law stu- Section 2-204 states that or- and Querner join, also sit- and cried, but they were nev- a right to eat cookies––it is the dents at this time. ders and acceptances exist as ting by designation. Shmaz- ertheless appreciated. Indeed, provider of the cookies at issue. The 1Ls’ third and final a routine process; therefore, zle, C.J., filed a dissenting with a variety of cookie flavors This leads precisely to the cause of action is that the Law since the 1Ls silence was rou- opinion. Calamaro, J., filed a to choose from, what was not to 1Ls’ second cause of action: School breached a contract with tine in the fall semester, there dissenting opinion in which love? that the Law School has a duty the 1Ls when they did not con- was no need to specify that they Luk, J., joined. [A two-page criticism of oat- to provide them cookies. One tinue WWDs in the spring se- would like the cookies to con- tinue. As such, a valid contract Judge Stievater delivered was offered, accepted, and then the opinion of the Court. breached by the defendant. he smiles have now UCC Section 2-713 dictates that “I have had a very long day; the damages be the difference I am very small; and I have no in contract and market price. money, so you can imagine the faded quicker than the However, to establish such a kind of stress that I am under.” “T difference would require the While comedian John Mu- Court to determine the weekly laney uttered these words in his dopamine hits from the sugar, price of tuition, what percent- 2015 Netflix special The Come- age went towards cookies, and back Kid to describe the life of what a tray of cookies goes for an elementary schooler, he also however, as this semester there these days. As the Court draws inadvertently articulated the a hard line at participating in plight of thousands of first-year basic algebra, damages are in- law students across the nation. has been nary a cookie to be stead to be nine trays of cookies To be sure, law students of all (three for each week missed) years may relate to Mr. Mu- provided in the WB Lounge on laney’s proclamation, but it is found.” - Judge Stievater three discretionary days this recognized that the days of 1L semester, as well as the rein- seem longer, that the 1Ls are meal raisin cookies, as well as generally does not owe a duty mester. The Law School insists statement of WWDs with cook- indeed smaller in knowledge an overview of the differences unless falling into one of four that providing cookies each ies. and experience, that they have between a snickerdoodle and categories—statutorily com- week was gratuitous and is un- no money nor any immediate sugar cookie and why one pelled, landowners, custodi- supported by consideration, to Shmazzle, C.J. dissenting. prospect of money on the ho- should always choose the for- ans, and enablers. The 1Ls al- which the 1Ls again reply that rizon, and that they are thus mer, has been omitted.] lege that the Law School owes they are paying $63,200. We The Justice sitting by desig- slightly more frazzled. It is The smiles have now faded a custodial duty to protect their side with the 1Ls that sufficient nation (whose name is worse within this context that the 1L quicker than the dopamine well-being (i.e., hunger) by vir- consideration exists. Unde- than mine, tbh) has come in class stands before the Court hits from the sugar, however, tue of them paying tuition to terred, the Law School further hot with this decision demand- today. The facts are as follows: as this semester there has been the tune of $63,200 (but, hey, insists the 1Ls never accepted ing that the Law School pro- For approximately 16 weeks nary a cookie to be found. For who’s counting?). The court has any offer of cookies and that it vide cookies to 1Ls on Fridays. during the fall semester, the three consecutive weeks since already ruled on this issue in is free to revoke its offer pursu- When I was your age, I never Student Affairs Office hosted a the start of spring semester, the our landmark decision in Han- ant to UCC Section 2-206(2). got cookies on Fridays, and “Weekly Wind Down” (hence- 1Ls allege that there have been gry Law Students v. UVA Law UCC Section 2-206(1), how- forth, WWD) for 1Ls in the no WWDs and, by extension, 852 CoPA 777 (2015), where it ever, makes it clear that unless COPA page 5 Withers-Brown Lounge on no cookies. They come to us to- was found in a unanimous de- Fridays, wherein two to three day with three causes of action cision that the faculty was re- trays of cookies were always that will be taken in turn. quired to provide sustenance Faculty Quotes provided with the exception The 1Ls first argue that they in the form of snacks to law of one week where mini cup- have an inalienable right to students, wherefore the “Snack K. Ferzan: “Professor Har- J. Fischman: “Presumably cakes were substituted (See, 1L cookies, pursuant to our hold- Room” was created. The case mon gets mad at me because with enough mobsters you can Anti-Cupcake League v. UVA ing in Law Students Home for before us is distinguished from I’ve never read Miranda . . . I enforce any agreement.” Law 465 CoPA 213 (2019), the Holidays v. Nosy Rela- Hangry, however, because stu- was a federal prosecutor and I wherein summary judgment tives 880 CoPA 251 (1988) in dents today already have an just watched TV.” M. Collins: “If you’re a rich was granted to the defendant which we established that law oasis of snacks in the desert of person and you think some- after the Court found that mini students had a license to snack the Law School from which to A. Bamzai: “I’m sure these one’s going to get a judgment cupcakes, though constitut- however much they so please seek refuge, that is to say, the are things you already know, against you, move to Florida.” ing a decrease in portion size, and that they are entitled to tell “Snack Room,” whereas stu- but to be safe... The North won the Civil War.” A. Coughlin: “Sarah Da- vies told me I’d have to wear a M. Gilbert: “FDA would poncho, and, as a fashion icon, ban cigarettes because they I said no.” Virginia Law Weekly don’t have a benefit. When you look cool behind the high Have a good professor COLOPHON school, that’s not a ‘benefit.’” quote? Email editor@law- M. Eleanor Schmalzl ’20 weekly.org Editor-in-Chief Christina Luk ‘21 Executive Editor David Ranzini ‘20 Michael Schmid ‘21 Taylor Elicegui ‘20 Managing Editor Production Editor Features Editor

Samuel Pickett ‘21 Anand Jani ‘20 Grace Tang ‘21 News Editor Special Projects Editor Lifestyle Editor Raphael Cho ’21 Kolleen Gladden ‘21 Cartoonist-in-Chief Douglas Graebner ‘21 Photographer Lena Welch ‘20 Format Editor New Media Editor Jacob Jones ‘21 Tyler D’Ambrose ‘21 Events Editor Drew Calamaro ‘21 Columns Editor Satire Editor

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Wednesday, 12 February 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 5 TWEEDLE down that night, but everyone in not sure could hit the ebrated Thanksgiving with one no denying it. And it could have attendance knew that our lives right nOoOoOote in 2006, so of my childhood best friends. made a couple more.7 continued from page 3 had changed with the introduc- it’s a good thing they brought I can’t remember why, but at “We’re All in this Together.” tion of Troy. in a ringer. Nevertheless, Drew some point she and I burst out There’s no separating this song HSM, is the best in the HSM tril- Whereas Sam feels the charac- Seeley could never do what Zac in a near-complete rendition from High School Musical. The ogy. It not only inspired genera- ters and plot were nothing spe- Efron did in his acting perfor- of “.” dance was so iconic that L.C. tions of fans, but it helped to es- cial in HSM, I have to respectful- mance. You can’t fake his chem- Plus, this song features two of and I pitched some of the moves tablish the DCOM musical era, a ly disagree. These characters are istry with Vanessa *Anne* Hud- the loves of my life: baking and for our eighth-grade tap recital. gift that kept giving.3 complicated with motivations gens. homework. Just kidding. But I don’t think I could forget the Before I demonstrate the su- that change as they learn and To try to touch on every song baking. Crème brûlée, baby. moves if I tired. The song also periority of HSM over HSM3, I grow, but they share a very im- here are some stream-of-con- “When There Was Me and features the characters in their want to note a few things about portant characteristic: ambition. sciousness notes I wrote during You.”6 The weak point of the most quintessential states (look- the best HSM film: HSM2. I This movie explains to its view- Nonprofit Organizations be- movie, but it leads to the “But ing at you, Ryan, hip thrusting don’t think I’ll ever be in love ers that ambition, dreams, con- cause contrary to Sam’s argu- I”/“Me Neither” lines. Two of before your solo and jumping with someone as much as I was fidence, and drive are not things ment above, these songs are ex- the most devastating lines of all into everyone’s arms). in love with Zac Efron in 2007. to hide, but things to cultivate ceptional: time. When we get to High School and and work to achieve. This is a The “Start of Something New” Pause for Troy singing on Ga- Musical 3, things had changed. Hairspray? An incredible com- particularly important message it was. Having just attended a briella’s balcony. It’s a pairs au- I went to the movie opening bo. His darker, Link Larkin hair because it accompanies Troy karaoke night on iTrek, I feel dition, baby. night8 with my friend Courtney, really made his eyes pop. Songs, and Gabriella’s discovery about prepared to say that this kara- “Bop to the Top.” Honestly, summer, Sharpay. To borrow themselves. The “shell” is neces- oke night was special. I actually justice for “Bop to the Top.” 7 Before law school, I worked from the sary to illustrate that the boxes stood on a coffee table to sing Sharpay and Ryan are perform- at Johns Hopkins University, movie, “What’s not to like?” My other people put us in—or that along when I watched on De- ers. They are here to entertain. and I had to accompany the family had just gotten Verizon we put ourselves in—do not con- cember 31, 2019. There’s no bet- And they would be happy to do baseball team to Florida for their FiOS, and new customers were tain us if we are brave enough to ter song to ring in a new year. it again for their fellow students, spring break games. During this able to access HSM2 a week try something new. You mean “Getcha Head in the Game.” an audience they deserve. time, the upperclassmen like to early. I watched it eleven times like going left? Again, shouts to . My biggest issue with “Bop to initiate the new kids by making in that week (my friends who re- I also want to stan for Sharpay The dancing is amazing, with the Top” is that there’s no way in them sing. And often they make member me talking about To All for a moment. Back then, she was some of the best prop work of all this fictional world where Kelsey the staff do this as well. I ama the Boys I’ve Loved Before dur- my idol. Her fashion was iconic. time. Nielsen wrote the winter musical terrible singer, but I’m not quite ing 2L fall won’t be surprised by She was an independent woman “What I’ve been Looking For.” that “Bop to the Top” exists in as bad as my favorite student- this4), memorizing the dances to who didn’t need no man. She just When my sister and I acted out the same musical as “What I was athlete of all time, a kid I call “What Time Is It?” “All for One,” had to include Ryan (and let me this song, we would trade off Looking For (Reprise)” (because Long Island. So, Long Island and “Work This Out.” be clear, I adore Ryan) because between Ryan and Sharpay. “if you do that part with that par- and I decided we would sing I actually watched the pre- East High was too afraid to do a Sharpay gets a time step, but ticular song I imagined it much Breaking Free. Fortunately, the miere of High School Musical at humble one-woman show. Now, Ryan gets jazz squares and a slower,” “If…”) and “Breaking upperclassmen called on Long the home of UVA Law alumna she is my avatar for my Disney+ one-handed cartwheel. But, y’all, Free.” Island when I wasn’t there. He Laura Cooley ’18 (L.C.). I can’t account. Mah! this is why we gather in this hal- “Breaking Free.” Look at me, sang Sweet Caroline, and when describe everything that went I don’t have space to get into lowed hall. right at me. And I have every day they asked me to sing on the bus all of the songs, but I want to Reprise. On re-watches, it since Troy said that. This song ride back to campus, I said no. 3 Where would we be with- address something highly im- maintains the emotional power made a couple of stars. There’s And that was that. A star was not out ? And I’m dead portant. Some of y’all may know from the first time you saw Troy born. serious. I’ve seen the Jonas that Drew Seeley provided step forward. “I’ll sing with her.” 6 If you’ve never liked Brothers and Demi Lovato up- much of the singing voice for ~*~CALLBACKS~*~ “When There was Me and 8 October 24. Which is now wards of ten times in concert. Troy in HSM. Maybe I’m just a “Stick to the Status Quo.” I cel- You,” I recommend watch- my best friend’s birthday, but I Drew Seeley believer,5 but I’m ing High School Musical: The will always remember it because 4 Email editor@lawweekly. I’ve seen that movie at least Musical: The Series, a Disney+ it was the night HSM3 came out. org if you want me to review 5 Seriously, scope out An- five times, mainly to try to fig- show that features a decent the sequel, P.S. I Still Love other Cinderella Story, to get ure out if is do- rendition in the sixth episode. You. some more D.S. in your life. ing *any* of the dancing. TWEEDLE page 8 What kind of impact do would it be? COPA cially when they demand them you hope to have as a law- Donovan’s “Break it Down” continued from page 4 of the school administration. HOT yer? aka the song that stole Brit- Indeed, Numeroff later wrote I hope I never forget that ney’s “Crazy” (See generally, especially none for free from that she would have added, BENCH there are always actual people anyone in Buck’s LRW class). the school administration. You “And when the mouse is done involved and impacted by the twerps get free cookies for 16 with the napkin, he will ask for work we do—I hope their en- If you won the lottery, weeks, hand delivered on lit- a full scholarship from the ad- counters with me help them what would you do with it? eral platters, and you’re now ministration and organize the see their inherent value and After funding a 401(k), I demanding more? While I do students to sue the school in to dignity. would buy a huge swath of land love and respect the desire obtain benefits.” These words and sow native wildflowers. to stick it to the Man, I think hold as much weight today as Let’s do a lightning the majority is forgetting the they did in Numeroff’s time, round! What is your least favor- second-most important rule of and, indeed, across all times. Favorite food? ite sound? this court: 1Ls always lose. And Clearly cognizant of the bur- Picante de Choclo. Nicholas Cage’s voice. here again, the 1Ls should lose. den that entitlements can have Jeffrey Stiles ’22 If I had written this dissent on an administration’s bud- Where are you from? Favorite place in Char- What animal are you before 7:21 p.m. the night of get, Numeroff’s brilliant work I was born in Peru and spent lottesville? most like? production of this paper, I am has been a guidepost for many 10 years there, but in America Not a specific place, but rid- An otter. confident I would have won the great legislators and was even I’m from near Gettysburg, PA. ing my scooter on the roads hearts of the majority and my the inspiration for Ayn Rand’s that meander through the What are the Seven decision would have been el- Atlas Shrugged. What did you do before horse farms. Wonders of the Law evated to the majority decision. Perhaps the majority be- Law School? School? But I am a 3L, and this is my lieves that it is okay to do away I was a Peace Corps Volun- Anti-Stress Hobby? (1) Professor Rutherglen on last week in charge, so anyone with tradition? P’raps they feel teer in Western Samoa after Dance-llipticaling (dancing an exercise bike, expecting me to do that was that mice like the 1Ls should graduating college, but dur- on an elliptical). (2) Professor Geis saying “I definitely expecting too much. get anything they want. Giving ing the several-month gap be- think that’s right,” Down with the 1Ls. End the them only oatmeal raisin cook- tween that and Law School I Pet peeve? (3) the altars of sustenance coddling, no more free cook- ies is one thing, but, to provide worked in a cardboard box fac- Multiple long dissents that (the free food table and Stu- ies. Face ConLaw and Prop- these benefits, when they had tory. functionally say the same dent Affairs), erty with an empty stomach no right to them in the first thing. (4) the neo-classical brutalist like your 3L predecessors who place, is going too far. I support When did you start architectural style, came before you. the administration in its will- thinking about law school? Favorite word? (5) the two painted portraits ingness to do away with these I took a law course on inter- Tort (shouted when some- of women I have found, CALAMARO, J. dissenting, frivolous cookie programs, the national protection of human thing less than reasonable is (6) the water-bottle fill up in which LUK, J. joins. execution of which was half rights while studying abroad being done). stations that actually dispense baked at best. in Barcelona that really excited water rapidly, and I fully agree with Justice me. The actual material of the If you could live any- (7) the numbering system of Shmaezal’s dissent, but be- --- course itself was pretty cool, where, where would it be? Slaughter . lieve that it is incomplete. The [email protected] but I really loved my classmates Barcelona—the public trans- famous words of philosopher [email protected] and the way they thought. portation system is divine and If you could make one Laura Numeroff come to mind, [email protected] the city is marvelous. rule that everyone had to writing in her opus If You Give What’s something you follow, what would it be? a Mouse a Cookie, that “he’s know now that you would What’s one movie that We would sing “The Good going to ask for a glass of milk. tell yourself coming into left an impression on you? Old Song” before every final. When you give him the milk, law school? Hunt for the Wilderpeople. he’ll probably ask you for a It is okay to know nothing --- straw. When he’s finished, he’ll and look stupid. That’s proba- If you could pick one [email protected] ask you for a napkin.” I believe bly how everyone actually feels song to play in the back- that Numeroff’s original intent, anyways. ground of your life, what however, was to warn against giving 1Ls cookies for free, espe- 6 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 12 February 2020 Law School & To Journal Tryout or Not to Journal Tryout? Darden Pong Pro-Journal Tryout experience than you under that I had with two 2Ls very checking the citations on Tourney Recap The journal tryout is per- vague instruction and strict early in the fall semester. I someone else’s writing was haps the most important, deadlines. The shimmery really admired these two and going to make me a good law- The JD/MBAs held their Feb life-altering process you can snacks dull in their sparkle one was even on the Manag- yer. It was also based on a be- Club event this past Friday at Kolleen Gladden ‘21 under the weight of impossi- ing Board of Law Review. lief that we should choose our Trinity, and surprise, surprise, it Photographer bly elusive sources. Your eyes They quietly whispered to own path. Instead of joining glaze over as you highlight me, “You know, you don’t a journal, I worked as a Legal Will McDermott ‘22 undergo as a stu- quotes, proving they in fact have to be on a journal.” One Writing Fellow. Through that Staff Editor dent at UVA Law. exist. Welcome to the real of them said that being on a role, my legal writing im- was a beer pong It is, without a world, kiddo. Or at least, as journal was her biggest re- proved tremendously, which tournament. doubt, an abso- close as you’ll get to it in this gret in law school. is something that will make This was a good lute necessity. institution. So go ahead, join As I prepared to study my me a better lawyer. That role opportunity for I’m sorry, did you say that a journal, and let yourself be Bluebook and color code it also created the opportunity many of us to you don’t intend to be an ap- immersed in the work; soon with hundreds of little sticky to meet and work with 1Ls finally see eye-to-eye with our pellate clerk? Move on, this you’ll be remembering the tabs, I thought about that ad- whom I might not otherwise North Grounds neighbors (pun is not the article for you. Oh, most anguished moments as vice. And I decided I wasn’t know, some of whom are now intended). you want to do public ser- “the good ol’ days.” going to do it. When one of close friends. The event was a hit with a vice? Go forth, live your life my PAs organized a small I get it. Some of you want to whopping sixty-four teams of journal-free luxury. This Con-Journal Tryout section gathering in ScoCo to clerk. If so, I am guessing you signed up. The event was such a is not about you. I’m talking “You must try out for a talk about tryouts, I walked should probably try out for a hit that there was a waitlist with strictly to the private sector journal.” “To get a job, you up and told her that I was journal. Some of you want to four teams on reserve in the folks. You see, the reason to have to be on a journal.” “Ev- out. She was appalled and go to a top tier firm. Maybe event that people didn’t show. jump through the hoops of Corey Parker ‘20 told me that I was making a you should also try out for a Big shoutout to Ethan Silverman, landing a journal has little to Guest Writer huge mistake. I immediately journal. But the point is, be- JD/MBA ’21 for putting every- do with prestige and even less went to the Career Center fore you work very hard on a thing together. to do with relevant experi- eryone has to do and walked into my advisor’s journal tryout, only to be “re- “I’m just thrilled that so many ence. You should join a jour- the journal try- office, without an invitation. warded” with more work, it is good people from each of Darden nal because it offers the clos- out.” Does this “Can I still get a job without okay to question the process. and Law came together for the est insight you’ll get in Law sound familiar? a journal on my resume?” My Ask yourself if there are oth- evening with something in com- School on what it’s like to It is what 1Ls at career advisor slowly got up, er ways that you can develop mon to bond over. Also, it is so work for a firm. Those three UVA Law hear from their shut the door to the office the skills to be a good law- perfect that we had in the Final grueling days spent trying peer advisors, classmates, and told me that, yes, with- yer. More importantly, ask Four one 1L, 2L, 3L, and Darden out for journals offer the tini- and professors every spring. out a doubt I could still get a your career advisor whether team to represent our North est glimpse into the next two At first, I believed the hype. I job. In fact, not only could I your job market absolutely Grounds community. Can’t wait years of your life spent doing had no interest in being on a get a job, but I could get the requires a journal. You might for next year!” doc review. Picking a journal journal and felt overwhelmed job of my dreams. be surprised by the answer . . We crowned the team “Live, is much like picking a firm, by the tryout process, but I That weekend, while my . I was. But I did get the job of Laugh, Love” as champions. attempting to discern the thought I had no choice. classmates slogged their way my dreams and will be a pub- Congrats to Drew Calamaro right choice for you based on I went to an informational through journal tryouts, I lic defender in Colorado later ’21 and Zach Turk ’21, beauti- the vague promises of snacks, meeting held by the Law read for class. I worked on a this year. ful team name and impressive the possibility of prestige, a Review Managing Board. midterm that was due the fol- performance. We owe our final- collegial vibe, and relevant I starting planning how I lowing week. And I slept. --- ists Beernie kegStanders [J. Carr experience to be gained. You would get my other work To be clear, this decision [email protected] Gamble ’22 and Tallulah Tepper then get to spend the re- done that was due the week- was not about laziness. It was [email protected] ’22] a congratulations as well; mainder of your time doing end after the tryout. Then the not about wanting to avoid they fought a hard journey to the thankless work under supe- week of tryouts, I remem- extra work. My decision was finals but ultimately ended up riors with a modicum more bered a short conversation based on not believing that PONG page 8 UVA Law Split Second Sightings Given the amount of events around the Law School, this section of the Virginia Law Weekly is a compilation of events seen and heard around the Law School, allowing readers to see more of the happenings at UVA Law. All photo credits to Kolleen Gladden ’21.

Top left: Gustavo Angeles, Chris Espinosa, Miranda Cady Hallett, and Kimberly Fields speak as part of “The Intersec- tion of Immigrant Rights and Environmental Justice” panel.

Top right: Caroline Spadaro ’22 and Jack Zipple ’22 pose at Barrister’s Ball.

Bottom left: Abby Porter ’22, Marlyse Vieira ’22, Emily Anne Owen ’22, and Megan Ong ’22 at Barrister’s Ball.

Bottom right: Joy Wang ’21 and Christina Luk ’21 hold up Diversity Pledge. Wednesday, 12 February 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY 7

2020 HOOS CALLING 40th Annual Law School Student Phonathon Earn $15 to $25 an hour for your favorite organization

Tuesday, February 18 and Wednesday, February 19 Class of 1967 Alumni Lounge, SL324

• Earn money for your favorite organization: $15/hour if you call for one hour, $20/hour for two, and $25/hour for three or more • Top TWO organizations with most volunteer hours will receive $100 bonus payments and top 1L section will receive $100 bonus • Friendly Alumni and delicious food Ready to sign up? tinyurl.com/hooscalling2020

LAWHOOWA!Questions? Contact Lindsey Peters at [email protected] 8 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 12 February 2020 PONG SHAPING JUSTICE BARRISTER’S very own Griffin Peeples ’20, continued from page 6 TWEEDLE continued from page 2 continued from page 3 who sure knows how to break falling short. continued from page 2 it down.5 The Jefferson was a “Our closest game was in the dance floor was just one giant nice change of pace and the opening round against Saucy and oned for nine years, bridges and I dressed up as Troy in the spilled drink, which was bru- bars moved quickly enough Notorious [Davin Laskin ’22 and this divide. He knows what “The Boys are Back” scene. Don’t tal on the dress shoes. I know that the wait for drinks wasn’t Will McDermott (me) ’22]; the it is like to be incarcerated, get me wrong, I was enthralled. we had an open bar, but we too bad. The snacks were also two came out strong. After that and can testify to the com- If HSM2 is the Zac Efron abs clearly all need to work on be- delicious—particularly the first game we got in the groove plete lack of training one is movie (which don’t hold up on ing a little less klutzy. chicken and waffle bites. Big and knew nothing could stop us.” given in prison before they re-watches because we all know Now, on to the positives. shout-out to whoever picked Calamaro said after the event. enter back into the real the heights he will reach in Bay- First and foremost: Damn, out the snacks. Trinity was a great venue, even world. He knows what it’s watch), HSM3 is the Zac Efron’s this school cleans up well. All in all, my final Barris- with the 150+ in attendance like to study the law and outstretched arms movie. And I appreciated that you all ter’s was a ball. I think we had there was just enough room for immerse yourself in it, and the HSM line I quote most of- brought your A-game. Tuxes the fanciest attire I’ve seen in the two schools to mingle with- to struggle to pass national ten is from the third movie: “Yo, and ball gowns, the student all three years and I enjoyed out having to physically touch changes through the Office yo, yo. It’s lunch time.” But the body did not disappoint and getting to dance the night each other. My only regret was of Juvenile Justice. And it is large scale diminished some of looked incredibly fly. The DJ away one last time. being one of the first teams to through his award-winning the things I loved about High played some good music, and play. We weren’t going to beat poetry that Mr. Betts trans- School Musical, such as the CG I really enjoyed seeing every- Live, Laugh, Love anyway, but verses both sides to bring fireworks over a grassy hill at one let loose and have fun on 5 The Editor-in-Chief another twenty minutes of enter- national attention to the what should be a snowy ski re- the dance floor. We were also would like to publicly express taining the fantasy would have devastating effects of mass sort or dances that I can pick up treated to an extra-special her disagreement here. been nice at least. incarceration. We as UVA in just a few viewings. How am dance performance from our The team names obviously did students should take his I supposed to learn the dances not disappoint. Some interesting words as inspiration to be- in HSM3 without a partner? Be- ones: Two Guys, Six Cups; Two gin engaging more actively cause no one wants to the learn Guys, Ten Cups; Size Matters; with those currently mar- these dances with me. HSM3 ~Lean and Tight 2020~; Brown ginalized by the law. At the also does my girl Sharpay dirty. v. Board of Intoxication; Learned end of a day filled with law- She learned so much in the first Handz; ModeloVirus; and The yers and activists telling us two movies, and then they cast Beerie Doctrine. to reach out and form non- her as the villain once again. We Overall, the event was a huge linear networks, challeng- all know who the real villain is: success. It was a great way to ing us to expand our idea of the costume designer who al- take it easy the day before the what justice really means, ways gave Troy a shirt. Barrister’s Ball. We’re definitely Reginald Dwayne Betts was looking forward to keeping the the perfect person to send us --- championship trophy at the Law off on this journey. [email protected] School next year. But we should [email protected] watch out, I’d bet Darden will --- be working hard this offseason, [email protected] Lord knows they have nothing

better to do. To those who wish they performed better––hit the Enjoy! GMT. 2020 23:11:36 9 Feb Sun on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated gym, watch game film, and work on your technique. We’ll see you next year.

--- Law Weekly 3Ls (minus David Ranzini ’20) abuse their last week of power to get featured in the Law Weekly. Please send your complaints to Christina Luk ’21 and Michael Schmid ’21. Photo credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. [email protected]

TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? WEDNESDAY –February 12 Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty ratingSUDOKU 0.59) 11:30 – The Importance of Purcell Free Provided 13:30 Diversity in the Academy 13:00 – Law Review Journal WB 152 Free --- 14:00 Tryout Workshop 9 5 1 14:30 – 2L Clerkship Update SL 278 Free --- 15:30 2 7 8 1L Antitrust Practice Reception to 16:00 Purcell RSVP requested Group Panel with Weil follow How the Rich Stay Rich: 5 2 6 3 19:00 – A Glimpse Behind the Miller Center Free --- 20:00 Velvet Curtain 9 2 4 3 7 THURSDAY – February 13 13:00 – Law Review Journal WB 152 Free --- 14:00 Tryout Workshop 16:00 – Tu BiShvat Indoor WB 105 Free --- 18:00 t 17:00 – APALSA and SALSA 3 2 8 7 9 WB 104 Free Provided 19:00 Career Networking Day FRIDAY – February 14 4 3 7 9 The Currys with Southern Music Café 19:00 $12 advance --- Genna Matthew and Music Hall 20:00 – 4 6 2 Trevor Noah JPJ Varies --- o c k e 23:00 SATURDAY – February 15 6 9 5 Free tickets 18:00 – Broadway Talks Back: Ruth Caplin Theatre through UVA Arts --- D 19:30 Waitress Box Office Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Sun Feb 9 23:11:36 2020 GMT. Enjoy! 20:00 – Charlottesville Symphony: 1 free ticket per Old Cabell Hall --- 21:00 British Riches student Solution h e

SUNDAY – February 16

T 15:30 – Charlottesville Symphony: 1 free ticket per 4 5 7 8 3 9 2 6 1

Old Cabell Hall --- 17:00 British Riches student 2 8 3 6 4 1 5 7 9

19:00 – The Lumineers JPJ Varies --- 9 6 1 2 7 5 3 8 4

22:00

MONDAY – February 17 6 4 9 7 5 8 1 2 3 James A.D. Co 1 2 5 3 9 6 7 4 8

17:00 – Distinguished Lecture: Campbell Hall Free --- 7 3 8 4 1 2 9 5 6 18:00 Beatriz Colomina

17:00 – Food Law Presentation & Provided (lol, it 3 7 6 9 2 4 8 1 5 WB 126 Free 5 9 4 1 8 7 6 3 2

18:30 Discussion better be)

TUESDAY – February 18 8 1 2 5 6 3 4 9 7 10:00 – 0.59) rating difficulty (Medium, 1 Puzzle 2L Clerkship Update SL 258 Free --- 11:00 Ambassadors Unplugged; 10:00 – A Hard Look at the State Miller Center Free --- 11:15 of the World 15:40 – Journal Tryout WB 152 Free --- 16:40 Bluebook Workshop