VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY 2017, 2018, & 2019 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner A Look Catherine MacKinnon Gives 2020 McCorkle Lecture ........ 2 Editors Debate: Which is the Best High School Musical?.....3 Inside: COPA Cracks Down on Lack of Cookies................................ 4 Journal Tryouts: Pro and Con............................................... 6 Wednesday, 12 February 2020 The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948 Volume 72, Number 16 around north Fourth grounds Annual Thumbs up to Barrister’s Dan Richard- Shaping son for landing a clerkship with Justice Justice Breyer. ANG just hopes that Dan doesn’t Confer- get caught up in the den Ball 2020 of vipers that is D.C., and returns soon to the Law ence An Affair To Remember? School, which has never had problems with snake Sarah Houston ’20 infestations. Guest Writer As future lawyers of Thumbs slight- America, we are taught in downward angle Law School to take con- to the stage at voluted issues and make the Jefferson them clear, to put them Theater. ANG liked watch- in neat little boxes, and to ing pre-lawyers lost to the embrace the linear. But at law of gravity. this year’s Shaping Jus- tice Conference, panelists Thumbs up to and speakers alike pushed surprise Best Pic- us to embrace complex- ture Winner, Par- ity in non-linear ways. asite. There was When these social justice a lot of talk about a lack lawyers are trying to not of representation at the only assist people who Oscars, but ANG survives have been marginalized, on free food and secretly but to transform the en- sleeps in the secret Law tire system within which School basement, so ANG this subjugation is creat- felt highly represented by ed, the solutions are often the winner. found in very unlikely co- alitions. Members of these Barrister’s revelers. Top row from left to right: Luke Smalanskas, Kareem Ramadan ’20, Jake Rush ’20, Ben Bhamdeo ’20, Ethan Silverman ’21. Front row from left to Thumbs down unexpected partnerships right: Anna Noone ’20, Megan Mers ’20, Allie Block ’20, Kayla Seltzer ’20. Photo credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. to the new li- 2:05 p.m.: Football is back sign, I should slow down on brary thief at the spoke side-by-side at pan- Phil Tonseth ‘22 on TV. I have abandoned all the beers. Then again, I paid Law School. Go els throughout the day, Staff Editor highlighting the multi- hope of productivity for to- $65 for an open bar and will back to stealing the Ken- dimensional character of 7:53 a.m.: Wake up, crack day. Bud Light, DiGiornos, get my money’s worth. Sorry, nedy bust and leave our progressive lawyering in a cold one. Senior prom way and the XFL. Could this be Mom. wallets and laptops alone. areas such as transgen- back in 2011 didn’t go as well more American? 8:10 p.m.: I showed up der rights, sex work, en- as it could’ve,1 so today will 3:17 p.m.: It’s not drinking fashionably on time. Benefits? Thumbs up to vironmental change, and make up for everything that alone when you get your two The open food bar had pizza Mitt Romney. restorative justice. Many night wasn’t. cats to have a glass of Pinot and chicken and waffle bites. You can’t be that of the panelists’ clients 8:02 a.m.: I lace up the Meow and Mos-Cat-o with I should’ve worn expandable much of a silver face intersecting levels of Nikes™ to get a jog in. I spe- you.2 pants. fox without possessing at oppression, from housing cifically tailored my pants to 6:13 p.m.: My mandatory 8:43 p.m.: $2 for a pro- least some moral charac- to immigration to health- show off my assets, so this run friends,3 who I know volun- fessional picture? That was ter. care, and it is within these is my last hope I don’t split tarily hang out with me, have a steal. I crossed off a new areas that activists have my pants breaking it down to catered in Italian food for our headshot for LinkedIn, my Thumbs down found meaningful collab- “hot girl bummer.” pre-game. I lovingly support next Christmas card, and to the inex- orative space. 8:19 a.m.: That was the this suggestion, because it’s something to send my mom plicable “Lose The Advocacy for Trans- worst two miles I have ever a classy way to request pizza. to show her I know how to tie Yourself” perfor- gender Rights panel gave run in my life. Bud Light However, thumbs down to my own tie now. mance by Eminem at the us a look into what fight- burps don’t coincide well with Charlottesville for not having 10:15 p.m.: Good thing Oscars. ANG is pretty sure ing for transgender rights regrets over running at 8 a.m. an Olive Garden. That’s true my drink is cold. Apparently it is 2020, not 2002. looks like in community on a Saturday. Italian-o. “dabbing” and hitting your centers, on the streets, 8:20 a.m.: Bud Light Selt- 7:22 p.m.: I asked for one girlfriend in the face isn’t the Congratulations and in the courtroom. zers are both delicious and thing for my birthday: a dino- best way to show I can break it to Abbey Meyers Joaquin Carcaño, the also water-like. Classic form saur tie-tack. I have lost said down low. Thornhill ’20 and lead Plaintiff in Carcaño of both hydration and intoxi- tie-tack. I am morose.4 10:29 p.m.: The DJ played Austin Seymour v. Cooper, spoke of his cation. Cheers to you, Bud. 7:23 p.m.: My girlfriend has “Hit Me Baby, One More Johnson ’20 on their experience being thrown 11:31 a.m.: Turning twen- informed me that she already Time,” “Party in the USA,” quick engagement and into the national spot- ty-seven next week means it put my tie-tack on me, as she and “Get Low,” all within ten upcoming wedding, hap- light as he worked with takes a three-hour nap post- knew I’d forget it. At least one minutes. I wasn’t prepared pening tonight. Wishing lawyers, minimum wage run to recover. Time to start of us is smart; she’s earned to relive my angsty teenage you all the happiness and groups, and sexual as- the day, part two. her keep. Maybe forgetting years, but am very thankful children this world has to sault prevention organi- 11:32 a.m.: In typical 1L my tie-tack on my chest is a for the open bar now. offer! zations to challenge HB fashion, I’m doing homework 11:07 p.m.: S/O to Kolleen 2, the North Carolina bill on the weekend. Will I re- 2 This is cat-nip wine, not Gladden for taking pictures Thumbs up to banning transgender indi- member any of this ConLaw actual alcohol. Please don’t all night. I may have taken the Iowa Caucus- viduals from using public on Monday? Doubtful, but call PETA on me. I have no forty different shots, but the es. People might restrooms consistent with that’s equally attributable to other friends besides my cats. camera loved me. I can’t apol- complain, but they their gender identity. Mia my pending drunkeness as to ogize for that. still got the results out Yamamato, a community ConLaw being utterly made 3 S/O big J.D. energy 11:25 p.m.: Coat check is faster than ANG’s grades. activist and criminal de- up nonsense. getting wild. Plus side, they Next semester ANG will fense lawyer who grew up 4 It’s a brontosaurus, my keep bringing pizza by so I just declare ANG received in a Japanese internment 1 If you’re reading this Alee, go-to dino. Did you guess can steal a slice. Double plus all As before any grades camp, explained how you were a wonderful date. I, right? Refer to Vol. 72, No. 13, side, I forgot I put slices of have been released. Cau- “coming out is the most on the other hand, was a typi- “What Type of Dinosaur Are bread in my peacoat. Snacks cus? They hardly know us! SHAPING JUSTICE page 2 cal teenage boy and wish I You? The Results Will Shock BARRISTER’S page 3 could re-do things. You!” 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 12 February 2020 McCorkle Lecture: Equality and the First Amendment This past Thursday, Febru- Dean Goluboff gave an intro- have a Dean who has some- quent research has focused was clear: The weaponization ary 6, Catherine A. MacKinnon duction discussing the origin thing worth listening to every on how we have arrived at of the First Amendment by delivered the 2020 McCorkle of the McCorkle Lecture Se- time they speak.1 MacKinnon’s this point; she traced various society’s powerful groups did Lecture, entitled The First ries. The series is funded by talk2 was based on the general Supreme Court cases dealing not “come out of nowhere” Sam Pickett ‘21 the wife and son of Claiborne principle that the First Amend- with free speech to see how the and it is not counterbalanced News Editor Ross McCorkle, who graduat- ment began as a weapon for doctrine has shifted from “con- by the neutrality. MacKinnon ed from UVA Law in 1910 and the powerless, but it has since tent neutrality” to “viewpoint advocated for a return to the Amendment: An gained fame when he prosecut- been transformed into a weap- neutrality.” The problem with First Amendment’s protection Equality Read- ed two leaders of a lynch mob on for the powerful.