Vol. 2 Issue 5 March 2006 Monthly

NEW EVIDENCE MAY PROVE WEAPONS EXISTED IN IRAQ Page 11

FULL COLOR PREVIEW OF 2ND WAVE OF X-BOX 360 GAMES Page 10

FREE SPEECH UNDER FIRE AT UNIVERSITIES Page 3 SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SNOW DAY Page 4 This Issue The Brokeback Buzz By Jorge Sierra lesbian comic quoted in a Jan. frey and Bill O’Reilly respec- alumnus, was also planning to 26 USA Today article, seems to tively rounded out the coverage see it. “I personally feel, having There’s this movie. It’s have figured out why even small of the Brokeback epidemic with worked with a lot of people who a western-themed romance town America has caught the groundbreaking interviews with were gay, that they are some between two ranchers—well, buzz: “They want to be homo- the movie’s stars (“Let’s talk of the most intelligent people. sheepherders to be specific— hip and know what is going on.” about the kiss”) and insightful Anything that’s done to defend originally published in an an- If that last quote sounds comments about a certain sex a group of people like that, I’m thology of short stories set in bad, maybe even downright scene’s “eww” factor. In a more for.” But several students, in- rural Wyoming. It was directed stereotypical, try to understand recent column O’Reilly made a cluding Heather Miller, a fresh- by Ang Lee of Crouching Tiger, that Kate Clinton and many gay- guess at what a Clint Eastwood man, had no plans to see the Hidden Dragon, received a bunch friendly people are actually suf- character might do if he hap- movie. “I don’t like the idea that Political correct nonsense contin- of rave reviews, has been nomi- fering even more than the red pened upon the movie’s gay sex someone gets married, and then ues in SB Humanities classes. nated for eight Oscars, has a relationship with and has grossed over someone else,” she ex- Page 14 $60 million since open- plained. “Marriage is ing in a limited number about love.” of theaters. It’s called One searches in Brokeback Mountain, vain for strange woosh- and for some reason ing sounds, newfangled it’s generated a bit of slang terms, stamped a buzz. You might gay cards, and rav- even call it a bug. It’s ing commendations or sweeping the country, condemnations about making otherwise sane sex scenes and kisses, people so excited about despite the assurances the film, they start bab- of media figures and bling gibberish. comics; despite the It started when airing on mostly pro- The Daily News’s film gay media reaching Spotlight on Republican Girls. critic Jack Matthews millions of Ameri- Page 16 detected a strange cans—the presidential “whooshing sound” coverage, USA Today, over the red states as Oprah and O’Reilly, WTF?! Picture they prepared “a re- late night comics—of Nazi cookies and tasty treats taking newed how-dare-they Brokeback “coverage” assault on liberal Hol- that has given face over campus. lywood” for promoting time to virtually every Even though the Brokeback didn’t win all the awards it was supposed to, Page 18 a movie about two gay single stereotype about we should prepare for a lot more gay-themed movies in the future anyway. lovers. Matthews was gay people and gayness With three of the top five Best Picture nominees being gay related, expect genuinely sympathetic that exists. Hollywood to copy the trend like they do any other until they run it into the Lack of Snow Days to those afflicted, even Maybe Annie ground. Coming your way Summer 2007: BrokeBack to the Future - It will posting a “Red state Proulx would know University makes it dangerous for bring a whole new meaning to Huey Lewis’s, “The Power of Love.” residents, commuters. Alert!” as the movie why some communi- picked up awards. The ties are inexplicably Page 4 Boondocks creator Aaron Mc- staters. In fact, the comedian has scene. As in, guns blazing. unaffected by the Brokeback Gruder has also been hot on the discovered that gays are actually Here at Stony Brook, the buzz. She’s the one who wrote trail of the Brokeback buzz. He mandated to see this film: “We Brokeback buzz is rather muted. the damn story in the first place. “Dangerous Professor” Schwartz publicized a slang usage of the get our gay card punched on the Many students were not even In her Dec. 15 interview with word “Brokeback” in a January way out.” Well, now you know, familiar with the movie, includ- the Associated Press, she calls responds to accusations. 22 comic about a man-bag that straight from one of the foremost ing freshman Jessica Ramos. Brokeback Mountain “an old, Page 6 looks suspiciously like a purse. experts on the Brokeback buzz: “There must be a reason I’ve old story. We’ve heard this story Since the movie came out, some every single gay person in the never heard of it.” Among those a million times, we just haven’t Ted Kennedy’s Drink of the people have actually been con- country is watching Brokeback who do know about the movie, heard it quite with this cast.” cerned that they might be, well, Mountain. some are very supportive. Greg- Okay, actually, she’s the most Month: Irish Flag Shooter. “Brokeback.” Fortunately Da- Even President Bush can’t ory Scott Smith, a junior, saw guileless person on the face of Page 19 vid Letterman educated the seem to escape it. His audience Brokeback Mountain in Boston the Earth. She claims “It was public about the “Top 10 Signs at Kansas State University broke with a group of friends. “Some just another story when I started The Stony Brook Ice Hockey Team You Are a Gay Cowboy.” Tell- into booming laughter after a guys didn’t want to see it just writing it.” tale signs include “Instead of a student asked if he had seen the because it was about homosexu- Just another story? Maybe unfunded by athletics department. saloon, you prefer a salon” and movie—before the President ality,” he related. “I think they the story that’s not being told Page 20 “You love riding, but you don’t even had a chance to respond. should broaden their minds a is that Brokeback Mountain is have a horse.” Kate Clinton, a TV powerhouses Oprah Win- little bit.” John Paul Martell, an just... a movie.

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Please send submissions to: [email protected] Editor-in-Chief News Editor Staff Writers: Enduring Freedom Alliance: Erik Berte Erica Smith Nathan Shapiro President Erik Berte Visit us online at: www.stonybrookpatriot.com Managing Editor Advertising Manager Damon Vetere Vice President Virginia Morgan Rachel O’Brien Chris Dolley Robert Romano Secretary Rachel O’Brien A paper of the Enduring Freedom Alliance: Jason Frank Treasurer Chris Dolley Design Director Public Relations Manager http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/clubs/efa/ Brian Holt Jason Frank Andrew Curran Jorge Sierra Disclaimer: The views expressed in the opinions Legal Advisor Staff Photographer Davey Jones Alexsandra Borodkin James Davis columns are not necessarily the opinions of The Chris Pitera Patriot or its editorial staff. Proofreading Editor Contributing Photographer Byung Min Sa Megan Gaffey Mark Murphy Brett Denyer

 The Patriot - March 2006 Free Speech Under Fire Are you tired of the way your Student Govern- ment is run? Are you tired of officers not de- livering what they promise? Do you say there must be a better way? If this sounds like you your answer is the Stony Brook Undergradu- ate Student Government Reform Party. The Reform Party is a non-partisan organization that will stand up for our rights as students and work hard to improve the quality of life on this campus. Party members will also hold officers accountable to the student body. The main goal of the party is to get candidates who run for office on the Reform ticket elected to the USG. Some other party goals include budget reforms, constitutional reforms and getting many more students active in government. In addition the party seeks to improve the relationship between clubs and organizations and USG.

Members of the Reform Party leadership hold important positions in campus clubs as well as USG. You can join the Reform Party in one of two ways. You may join as an individual or encourage your club or organization to join and your organization will become a member of the party’s Committee of Member Organi- zations. For more information contact Alex- sandra Borodkin, USG Reform Party Chair at [email protected]

Join the Reform Party now and make a differ- ence today. Member Organizations:

U.S Supreme Court building in Washington, DC. Supreme Court Sets Dangerous Precident

By Rachel O’Brien want to risk the chance of printing the paper colleges. Why was it such a factor now? and not being paid, so they complied with Unsatisfied with this unconstitutional On Tuesday Feb. 21, the U.S. Supreme Carter. ruling, Hosty, Porche and Barba requested Court set a dangerous precedent when it de- This was a clear violation of First a writ of certiorari, an appeal, from the U.S. cided not to hear an appeal presented by col- Amendment rights for not only Hosty but Supreme Court, who on Feb. 19 denied their lege students whose First Amendment rights for the entire staff of the paper. They took request. to free speech and free press had been vio- the university to court. Soon after the ruling was handed lated. The court refused to hear the appeal Editor-in-Chief of the Innovator Jeni down from the Circuit Court on June 20, in the Hosty v. Carter case that gave univer- S. Porche and Managing Editor Steven P. 2005, many advocates for students’ First sity administrators at Governors State Uni- Barba were the two other plaintiffs along Amendment rights spoke up, expressing versity in Illinois prior review rights over a with Hosty who took all of the university’s their anger and frustration with the govern- university newspaper. trustees, most of its administrators and sev- ment that is supposed to protect our consti- In November of 2000, Margaret Hosty, eral of its staff members to court. tutional rights. a student journalist at Governors State Uni- All administrators, trustees and staff, “This decision gives college admin- versity in Illinois wrote an article for the save Carter, were granted a leave from the istrators ammunition to argue that many campus newspaper, the Innovator, attacking case either because there was no case against traditionally independent student activi- the integrity of the Dean of the College of them for vicarious liability or because they ties are subject to school censorship,” said Our Mission: The goal of The Patriot is Arts and Sciences, Roger K. Ogden, be- received qualified immunity. Mark Goodman, the executive director of to offer an alternative point of view to the cause he had decided not to renew the teach- The case went to the U.S. Court of Ap- the Student Press Law Center in a press students of Stony Brook University. It is ing contract of Geoffrey de Laforcade, the peals for the Seventh Circuit, which ruled release. “Nowhere is free expression more a paper dedicated to raising awareness of Innovator’s faculty adviser. that Carter had a “reasonable misunder- important than on our college and university student issues on campus, and conservative When Hosty and the Innovator refused standing of the law”, which she violated campuses where we hope to expose students issues on the national scene. While it does to print an apology or retract statements that when she canceled the printing. However, to a true ‘marketplace of ideas’. This court not actively seek controversy, The Patriot the administration said were false, the Dean the court also ruled that she had the author- has snubbed its nose at this notion.” strives to offer opinions and news that will of Student Affairs and Services, Patricia ity to review and edit the newspaper. The Previously, in most cases in which cen- encourage the students of this campus to ask Carter, called Charles Richards, president court ruled along the precedent of a similar sorship had been an issue on college cam- themselves what their true values are. It is of Regional Publishing, the publishing com- case, Hazelwood v. Kuhlmeier, which gave puses, the students came out on top. Does dedicated to building upon and fostering the pany that printed the Innovator. She told school administration the right to censor and this then set a dangerous precedent for col- conservative views that are strong among so him not to print the Innovator unless he was edit a newspaper published by a journalism lege newspapers? The answer is yes. When many of us, yet suppressed in our community. given notice that the university administra- class in Hazelwood High School. a university official calls a publisher and But ideology aside, all of our news will be tion had first reviewed it and approved of However, what was shocking about tells them not to print a student newspaper, bound to three standards; we will always be its content. this decision was that Hazelwood was a constitutional rights are being violated and factual, sensible, and reasonable. Because the Innovator relies on univer- high school case and hadn’t been used as that should not be a thing on which prec- sity funds to print, Regional Printing didn’t precedent when ruling on this issue with edent is set.

The Patriot - March 2006  It was close to impossible to get friend and staff writer, Drew Curran, through Roth Quad to get some dinner at Burger King. We even had a hard time ourselves. Should Have Been A Snow Day

By Alexander Markow was just too much of a job for them wasn’t easy because the “accessi- to handle, apparently. Now if you ble” handicapped areas on campus Feb. 13, 2006 ... a day that will like a nice stroll through the woods were either covered in ice or sub- bring back memories of sledding, or on a path in the snow at night it merged under a mini glacier. We snowball fights, and a trip to the would be nice; but for the handi- had to literally push his wheelchair, infirmary? The ice fields of Stony capped or the average Joe and Susie or rather slide it, through this snow Brook, New York were a sight that it wasn’t such a walk in the park. several times. many a student had to trek through A personal story to that ef- Not only is this unfair to those on this fateful day. fect: We went for a little trip to the students but it presents an obstacle While the brave work staff Roth food court from the SAC and to safely making your way across here on campus tried to salt and I can tell you it was an adventure. campus. scrape all the major pathways, it Aiding one of our disabled friends This is something that needs to be considered next time there is a brutal snowstorm and the faculty decides to open our school. But let’s not forget our commuters! The roads were horrible due to the very cold weather, and the rain prior to that allowed for a dangerous sheet of ice to be formed just under the surface. Ironically, if one looked online that day to see that school was in session, the first item on the list of winter weather driving tips below the message was, “avoid driving.” So cheers and congratulations to a commendable effort by the survivors of this day! But a mes- sage for our administrators: Hold- ing classes is beneficial for us stu- dents and our school, but could you Ramps all over campus were covered in ice and snow for the Path from the Student Activites Center toward Roth Quad was please keep us safe just as you keep entire day. This photo was taken near the SAC. still covered in snow and not salted. us educated?

 The Patriot - March 2006 Around The World With ERQ

Mini Cultural quotes? is that his last name? -Fatcatfire- ball 2/24/06, 10:45pm of Greeley College Festival Held in said,”I wanted to see different cultures and experience each tradition firsthand. Greeley College The support for my home quad is also im- portant.” One of the performers, Kwame By Alexander Markow Opam, said, “I like the cultures coming together tonight. It also went well to il- On Feb. 15, a mini culture festival lustrate the genre of the poem I prepared.” was held in the lobby of Greeley College do you have any more details on poem? - in Eleanor Roosevelt Quad. Packed with Fatcatfireball 2/24/06, 10:47pm people from all across campus, the fes- While this event was an alternative tival lasted several hours featuring food, assignment for the GLS don’t abreviate, dancing, music, poetry, raffles and more. is that global studies? Do you mean it According to co-coordinators (and was extra credit? -Fatcatfireball 2/24/06, RHD’s) Jennie Goldman and Sherrille 10:47pm classes here at school, there Shabazz, the goals of the event were to was tremendous support for the festival promote global awareness, portray cam- on a local level. So look forward to more pus diversity, and to allow these indi- events such as a possible trip to the UN vidual cultures to play out in a friendly or Ellis Island. environment. It is also well-known that Stimson Col- lege houses the most interna- tional students of all the dorms. Ricky “Tan” why is Tan in

SBU Hosts Chinese Orphanage Benefit

By Erica Smith Community Service Learning, Asian Student In addition to fundraising, FCC said it action, joined the organization as she consid- Association, Sigma Beta Honor Society, also meant for the event to provide cultural ered adoption. When Kenny-Corron learned The Student Activity Center was trans- Women in Science and Engineering, Kappa education and support to adopted children. that the New Year’s event was becoming too formed into a scene of celebration on Satur- Phi Lambda and Pi Delta Psi came to lend a Baldinucci-Greenberg explained that the for large for the restaurant FCC was using, she day, Feb 19, when Stony Brook University hand. Many woke up early to help with the this this was learned from the first generation suggested they come to Stony Brook. helped bring in the Chinese New Year for event. of adopted Asian children, whose parents did Kenny-Corron could not be at the event dozens of Chinese children and their adop- “They’re a godsend,” said FCC volun- not realize the importance of teaching their Saturday because she was in China, only tive families. teer, Teresa Baldinucci-Greenberg, Leanna’s children about their birth country. Now these hours away from meeting her own child. One of the ballrooms was packed with stepmother. “They have been so helpful.” children have grown up and say they felt as if more than 40 tables of happy families, red Even the Stony Brook Lion Dance Club they were “torn away from their home,” said Top 15 Immigrant Visas Issued and black balloons, running children in tra- made an appearance, dancing as one inside Baldinucci-Greenberg. IMMIGRANT VISAS ISSUED TO ORPHANS ditional Chinese garb, a magician and Hou- an elaborately crafted beast. “We are fortunate to have their adult COMING TO THE U.S. IN 2005 Tien Cheng, the incredible scissor cutter, best Sharobi Chowdhury, a member of the voices,” she added. 1. 7,906 – CHINA known from his performance in a Citibank Sigma Beta Honor Society, had been at the Hirsch said she also strongly believes in commercial. Festivities spilled into the sec- event since 11 a.m., setting up tables and teaching her 7-year-old daughter, Rebecca, 2. 4,639 - RUSSIA ond ballroom, which was converted into a balloons, helping with the craft center and about both American and Chinese culture. 3. 3,783 - GUATEMALA craft center, and the glass lobby was filled checking guests in. “It’s a nice twist for or- She said her family celebrates American, 4. 1,630 - S. KOREA with vendors selling everything from Chi- phanage fund raising,” she said. “I think it’s Jewish, and Chinese holidays. nese shoes to chopsticks. really special for the kids and parents, like a Amanda Vreeland, a volunteer from 5. 821 - UKRAINE Leanna Greenberg, who has two ad- big Christmas dinner, but not Christmas.” Women in Science and Engineering and Sig- 6. 755 - KAZAKHSTAN opted sisters, could not stop smiling. “It’s a FCC sold $1,663 in raffle tickets. The ma Beta Honor Society, said she believed the 7. 441 - ETHIOPIA (Think Starvin’ Marvin) celebration of the adoption and the culture,” group expects more money from the vendors event provided a lot of support to the chil- 8. 323 - INDIA said Greenberg, 16, who was dressed in a and admission tickets. According to Jayne dren. “It’s an awkward situation when your shiny light blue kimono. Hirsch, co-chair of the event, a third of the families don’t necessarily look like you,” she 9. 291 - COLOMBIA The event was held by the Long Island money will go to “Half the Sky,” an organi- said, and explained that she thought it was 10. 271 - PHILIPPINES chapter of the global organization, Families zation that seeks to enhance the lives of Chi- important for the children to be around others 11. 231 - HAITI with Children from China, in order to raise nese children in orphanages. Another third like them. money for Chinese orphanages. FCC is a will go to Le Chang orphanage, located in This is the second year FCC has held 12. 182 - LIBERIA volunteer organization intended to support Guangdong province. The rest will be for the its annual New Year’s Celebration at Stony 13. 141 - CHINA (Taiwan-born) families before, through and after the adop- FCC Greater New York division, which cov- Brook. FCC became involved with the school 14. 98 - MEXICO tion process. ers all of New Jersey, New York and portions when Missy Kenny-Corron, from the univer- 15. 73 - POLAND Dozens of Stony Brook volunteers from of Pennsylvania and Connecticut. sity’s department of diversity and affirmative

The Patriot - March 2006  “Dangerous” Professor Responds

American military draft, which Schwartz Listed in “Most had claimed to be an imminent “ticking time Dangerous Academics in bomb” set for the spring of 2005. The profes- sor now says “a draft is much more politi- America” Prof. Schwartz cally unfeasible than I had thought.” Responds to Accusations Horowitz also said Schwartz has a “Marxist obsession with class conflict and ruling class oppression.” He writes that the By Chris Dolley professor is an affiliate faculty member of the Center for Study of Working Class Life Professor Michael Schwartz of the at Stony Brook, which is “headed by Marxist Stony Brook Sociology Department is in- economist Michael Zweig” and he is also a cluded in David Horowitz’s new book, “The contributor to Marxist journals such as Sci- Professors: 101 Most Dangerous Academics ence and Society. Horowitz writes that this in America.” Horowitz, nationally syndicated might explain why there are so many seminars author and lifelong civil rights activist, said in the sociology department on subjects such the purpose of his book is to expose some of as “Advanced Topics in Marxist Theory.” the thousands of professors that press their Schwartz’s response to this was “Sure, I’m a radical viewpoints on their students. Marxist.” Schwartz also maintained that a lot Horowitz writes that he considers of people and faculty at Stony Brook are. Schwartz dangerous because of statements “Today’s radical academics aren’t the like this one, said last November at a Stony The “Die in Protest” was held during the Fall 2004 Semester at Stony Brook, outside exception- they’re legion. Far from being Brook anti-war protest: “We as Americans the library. Sponsored by the Coalition Against the War group, students and faculty harmless, they spew violent anti-American- have to hope America will lose [the war in members laid on the pavement to represent the civilians who have supposedly ism,” Horowitz wrote, “All the while collect- Iraq]. If we win, we have to expect more wars, been murdered by our troops in Iraq. ing tax dollars and tuition fees to indoctrinate more destruction.” Schwartz, who is current- our children.” ly teaching a class called “Understanding the tries the United States doesn’t like.” He add- American tactics. Schwartz tried to defend Schwartz says he disagrees that Stony War in Iraq,” maintains this belief. He elabo- ed that the military is corrupt, and “if we win these statements by pointing to Fallujah, Brook has been taken over by radical ideo- rated on this in a telephone interview. this war, the United States will become even where he said the insurgents were only at- logues. “Horowitz is writing this book be- “I think my comments have been proven more aggressive. They have a militaristic, ag- tacking the American military, and not civil- cause he wants to reorganize American right,” he said. “The only reason America is gressive military policy.” ians. Horowitz and the American military universities,” said Schwartz. “He’s not the not trying to attack Iran is because we don’t Horowitz also writes that Schwartz has obviously disagree. scholar. I am. He wants to think that all schol- have control over Iraq” and “there is a policy called those who fight the American military Horowitz also mentions that Schwartz arly processes of peer review have to be re- of continuous U.S. aggression against coun- “revolutionaries” fighting against “brutal” incorrectly spread the idea of an impending placed by his viewpoint.” Recycling: Not Just For Hippies By Erica Smith suite by the custodial staff. Recyclables in little unclear. garbage or shopping bags will count as trash. Youdelman said Syafrina Sharif, a Cardozo R.A., became The Environmental Club posts recommenda- it “turned out well,” very excited when she learned her building was tions and tips in the recycling rooms after they but there were “mixed leading the race. “That’s great! Now we can check them. reviews,” he added. buy a new vacuum!” Other Cardozo residents Bottles are also supposed to be without “You need to have ev- have talked about getting a new microwave or caps, and everything should be crushed, but so eryone on board,” he a foosball table if they win. Ultimately, the leg- far, points have not been taken off for these said, including “really islative body (LEG) of the building that wins mistakes. They may, however, eventually lead positive people like will decide where the prize money goes. to point reductions, said Lwiza, “when the Linda”. It seems he Recycle Mania is a national competition competition heats up.” was implying that the that currently includes 93 colleges in 33 states. After the student volunteers give a point problem was at the ad- Last year, Miami University won the trophy value to the quality of the bins, Recycling ministrative level. He with an average of 71.9 pounds of recycling and Resource Management determines the did not elaborate, pre- for each of its students. The competition is “weight” or amount of each building’s recy- ferring not to be “nega- split into two semesters: In the first, the dor- clables when it picks them up to take them to tive.” mitories at individual schools compete, and in the campus recycling center. The assessments Lwiza said the the second, the colleges compete against each are combined to determine what building is in failure might have other. The Recycle Mania in Roth Quad is only the lead each week. been a lack of student a “Stony Brook version” of the event, and is Justin Grimm-Greenblatt, president of awareness and in- not affiliated with the national competition, the Environmental Club, said that his members volvement. “But now mental, and social sense, said Lwiza. Ev- says Associate Professor of Marine Science do not mind digging through the bins. “They it’s [the students’] own thing, and they’re tak- eryday, there are about 18 trucks of trash for Kamazima Lwiza. all seem very positive about it. They’ve been ing charge.” Brookhaven alone, he said. “Wherever it is “This is a practice run.” coming back with data, looking forward to While Recycle Mania only involves the going, it is filling up space.” Roth’s Recycle Mania was planned over getting results for each building,” he said. recycling of cans and bottles, Stony Brook According to the U.S. Environmental winter break by Lwiza, Recycling and Re- Youdelman also conveyed enthusiasm for campus recycles an array of items, including Protection Agency, recycling prevents the source Management Manager Michael Youdel- the contest. “It’s important to be aware of our paper, cardboard, motor oil, grease, tires, ink emission of many greenhouse gases and water man, and Roth Quad Director Linda Eastman. own individual footprint and to be mindful of jets, toner cartridges, pallets, trees, leaves, pollutants, saves energy, supplies valuable raw The $800 prize comes from their pockets. The the community as a whole. All of us have an scrap metal, wooden debris, lead acid batter- materials to industry, creates jobs, stimulates Environmental Club, a student organization, is effect that’s quite major. If you were to take ies, fluorescent bulbs, and computer monitors. the development of greener technologies, con- also sponsoring the contest. the footprint of our campus, it’s quite amaz- Even old clothing can be recycled into new serves resources for our children’s future, and The way the contest works is as follows. ing,” he said, explaining that the university ef- clothes for the needy when placed in one of the reduces the need for new landfills and -com Twice a week, Environmental Club members fects the environment locally, regionally and seven campus Good Will containers. Details bustors. check the recycling bins in each Roth build- even globally. can be found on the Recycling and Resource Recycling and composting saved 72 mil- ing. Each bin receives one, three or five points, Both Lwiza and Youdelman would like to management website. lion tons of material from landfills in 2003, up depending on how clean the bin is. If a bin has see the competition expand next year, encom- “It is unbelievable” how many products from 15 million tons in 1980, says the EPA many pieces of garbage or bottles and cans passing the entire campus. are made with recycled material, said Youdel- website. “Kermit the Frog is wrong- it is easy still containing liquid, it will receive one or This semester, however, is not the first man. He began to tick off a list of everything being green,” said Youdelman. “Every person, three points. Clean bins get five points. If recy- time Recycle Mania was attempted at Stony from carpets to ski jackets. “You could have a every student, every faculty person, is an en- clables are bagged, they need to be in a trans- Brook. Four years ago, Tabler Quad partici- 150 page book of them all.” vironmentalist. We all want clean air, clean parent bag, like those provided to each Roth pated in the contest. Its discontinuance is a Recycling makes economic, environ- water, and a clean land.”

 The Patriot - March 2006 Opinions The Hebrew Constitution B e n Hammer is Pro-Life

By Joshua Fritz the framers, and have helped our- answers selves personally, instead of look- Many Americans are out- ing out for others. We’re moving raged, upset, or entirely afraid, that away from ‘forming a more perfect the United States Senate has con- Union’. ‘Justice is not established’. firmed Federal Judge Samuel Alito. Every which way, you see the in- The fear is that many women across nocent being convicted, and the the country will now have no pro- guilty being let go. This in turn is America tection under the Constitution to not ‘insuring domestic tranquil- have an abortion, pending the Roe ity’. Wars are happening, crime is v. Wade (1973) case is overturned. rampant, and ‘the general welfare Dear Hebrew Hammer: With Senators posing last minute is promoted’ but not kept because filibusters on the nomination and of empty promises. It seems to me About three weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. She was the first person I felt truly “in coming up empty, all hope in the that the only phrase in this Pream- love” with, and my first real serious lover. The problem is that whatever I do, I can’t seem to get her off of my eyes of the pro-choice movement ble that we are extremely careful of mind. Do you have any suggestions that will help me move on with my life? Seeing as how you have so many came to a halt. Justice is now avail- is providing for “the common de- relationship problems yourself, answering this question should come easily to you. able to the unborn. fense of our country”. Simon Lefkowitz Tel Aviv, Israel The Hammer Says: As you noted in your letter, the volatile nature of my work means that most of the relationships I have tend not to last that long. However, this does not make breaking up with women any less painful, and there is simply no way to avoid this facet of breakups, Simon. The last time I broke off a relationship, I was so devastated I lost track of my work as the Hebrew Hammer. In fact, this is the exact reason why HAMAS was able to win last month’s Palestinian elections. So next time you hear a maniacal terrorist spew his rhetoric on the streets of Gaza City, you can thank none other than my former girlfriend, pop music icon Jessica Simpson.

Dear Hebrew Hammer: Ever since my husband Al had the 2000 election stolen from him by the vast right-wing conspiracy, he has changed for the worse. He has put on 75 lbs, grown a beard, mumbles to himself incoherently, and has gone off of his psychotropic medication. He has become desperate for attention, even giving speeches in the bus-stop bathrooms of Washington, DC. I blame you, Hebrew Hammer, and your ilk for doing this to my husband! Have The preamble of the Constitu- The Preamble has everything you no shame! HAVE YOU ALL NO SHAME!!! tion is a document that has stood to do with what this country is Tipper Gore the tests of time. Hardly any hom- facing in the present. Whether it Washington, DC age has been given to our national be abortion, wars, crime, foreign The Hammer Says: documents that lie in the archives policy, presidents, congresses, or Tipper, me and my friends in the vast right-wing conspiracy did not cost your husband the Presidency; he did. in Washington D.C. How far have the courts, it is relevant. If he did not run such a crappy campaign, he would not have lost to a man like George W. Bush. I mean, after we come? The confirmation of Justice all, do you really think that we Republicans expected this idiot to win? Absolutely not! We just ran him as a “We the People of the United Alito can be viewed as a step in test candidate to see what the American public prefers: an alcoholic, coke-sniffing, turd-brained moron, or a States, in Order to form a more the right direction in providing jus- Democrat. And seeing as how the people have re-elected this “moron”, I realize that we could have run a dirty perfect Union, establish Justice, in- tice to the unborn, victims of harsh sock against your husband, and it still would have won. sure domestic Tranquility, provide crimes, and to women who suffer for the common defense, promote from making past “choices” that the general Welfare, and secure the have harmed their lives. Justice Blessings of Liberty to ourselves Alito is deserving of his position and our Posterity, do ordain and as Justice on the Supreme Court Dear Hebrew Hammer establish this Constitution for the because of his track record, and As a wealthy Republican plutocrat, I have the highest hopes for my three children. My oldest, Serena, just United States of America.” his unwavering positions on issues graduated Harvard University summa cum laude with a degree in Political Science. The problem is that after As I look at the latter of the that matter to the country, (name- four years of constant leftist indoctrination, she returned to our mansion a “die-hard postmodern Trotskyist”, Preamble, why do we deny the ly abortion). He is the answer to whatever the hell that means. Is there nothing we can do to reverse this process? More importantly, how do I “security of the blessings of liberty an immediate but long neglected prevent my two high-school age sons from falling into the same pit that my daughter fell into? to our posterity”? Now correct me problem of the most recent Holo- Michael J. Leukoff if I’m wrong, but posterity would caust of our country; the merciless CEO, Gruppe Sechs Company have to be to our children, correct? murder of the unborn. Sure, the blessings of liberty are se- Without the Preamble there The Hammer Says: cure to ourselves. would be no defense to restricting Unfortunately, the only thing that will cure your daughter of the curse of liberalism is a full prefrontal We have initiatives such as abortions, and ultimately overturn- lobotomy, which may be necessary depending on the severity of her case. Otherwise, a healthy regimen of the Patriot Act that protect us, and ing the laws that have harmed our prescription anti-psychotic medication for the rest of her life is the only thing that will keep her condition under protect our freedoms and rights in society. The Preamble stands the control. As for your sons, the only way that you can ensure that they will grow up to be good, decent men is to this country to avert future terrorist test of time in American history be- send them to a good college. This is why you should STRONGLY encourage you sons to apply to West Point. acts. But at the same time, we are cause of its relevancy to today’s is- But be warned my fellow Jew, one cannot buy his way into West Point. So your sons will have to really try the terrorists, we the United States, sues and problems before our great their best to get into this school, because all daddy’s money will not be able them get in. are terrorizing the unborn. country. This may seem illogical at Don’t be outraged, upset or first, but take a look at this: Ac- afraid. With justice finally coming THIS IS AN URGENT BULLETIN FROM THE HEBREW JUSTICE COALITION cording to the Alan Guttmacher back to our children who need it Are you looking for excitement, danger, and scores of hot, young female admirers? Then the Hebrew Justice Institute (AGI), 39 million abor- the most, this country will see fu- Coalition is not for you. Seriously, if you want to have a gaggle of young admirers in synagogue, go get yourself tions have been performed betwern ture generations that care for each an M.D. in Radiology. But if you enjoy long, grueling missions to assassinate evil terrorists in conjunction 1973 and 2000. We as a nation other, and love and welcome ev- with the Israeli Army, than the HJL is right for you! Contact 1-800-JEW-BOYZ for a free brochure today! have strayed from the intentions of eryone with a loving heart.

The Patriot - March 2006  A Select Letters Few? Mr. Berte, Jason Frank, Your article, “What About Microsoft’s Rights”, appearing I just want to thank you for the article regarding satellite in the most recent issue of The Patriot, is based on the flawed radio. I feel it is about time someone spoke up and spoke truth- When it premise that corporations are imbued with all of the rights of a fully about the current state of Howard Stern’s radio show. As a comes to the person: they are not. Corporate personhood, being a legal fiction, fan of Opie and Anthony, I whole heartedly agree that they put on issue of Is- Jason Frank does not accord onto corporations all of the constitutional rights a great show from day to day and are far and away the most en- lamic terror- that are granted to citizens, and corporate (commercial) speech tertaining radio personalities out there today. Furthermore, you ism, a com- is non-protected. In the case Kasky vs. Nike, for example, the brought up a great point regarding the hardware of both Sirius mon defense California Supreme Court upheld this idea, as many other courts and XM. I have a friend who has Sirius radio, and the unit he is that only a very small group of Muslims support have in other cases. The bottom line is that corporations do not has (I am unsure of the name) is easily twice as heavy as my Xm this kind of activity. Very often people will preach have 1st Amendment rights. This is the same reason that corpo- unit and produces and odd amount of heat. In fact, I have the that as a religion, Islam preaches peace and nonvio- rate campaign donations can be regulated, and why corporations cheapeast XM unit available (the Delphi Roady 2) and is still lence. However, I’m not sure this is a very accurate are liable for the claims that they make in advertising. far superior to my friends unit, who paid twice as much as I did. theory. Actually, current events may have shown Also, I wanted to point out one more thing. Just after your article evidence of just the opposite. Thank you, was printed, Sirius actually raised its monthly subscription rate Recently, elections were held in Palestine. Matthew Pancia to 12.95 per month, now making it equal with XM. I guess they These elections enabled many people to vote across need to figure out a new way to pay Howard his 500 million Palestine. Prior to the election, the Middle East dollar contract over the next 5 years since not as many people touted this as a step toward democracy, and said followed him to Sirius as they had expected. that it would be a true indication of how the Pales- Mr. Pancia, tinian people felt. Well, it sure was. -Anonymous In a “surprise” victory, the cut throat terror group Hamas took home the win. For decades, I’m not sure you’re completely correct. The case you men- Hamas has been launching attacks throughout the tion, Kasky v. Nike only ruled that corporations are limited in world, killing civilians on a very frequent basis. their First Amendment rights in that they can’t lie about their Anonymous, Yet, they were voted in, by a popular democratic business practices (including labor policies and company opera- vote of common citizens of Palestine. tions) in advertisements, press releases, letters to the editor, or Thank you for your kind words. I am aware that Sirius has public statements. The court deemed Nike’s speech in that par- raised their rates to $12.95 per month. Thus, there no longer ticular case, commercial. The case didn’t touch on the freedom needs to be justification in spending more money, although there of expression that I used in my analogy. The expression I re- was ample reason to. And I feel that your logic is most likely ferred to was copyrighted material such as software or artwork. not far from the truth. A 500 million dollar contract is hefty by However, either way, in principle, I believe that this sort of itself. Factor in that it is only spread out over the course of five thing should be protected. years, and Sirius has some “serious” financial matters to concern themselves with. Thanks for your interest! Erik Berte Editor-in-Chief Jason Frank The hijackers of 9/11, terrorists in the Madrid The Patriot Public Relations Manager subway bombings and London attacks, and The Patriot rioters in France all seem have one thing in common.

This isn’t surprising. The reason that it is not surprising is because the anti-Western and anti- Jewish sentiment that is said to be only held by the few, in reality seems to be held by the many. When Free Markets in USG it comes to denouncing terror attacks, it takes effort to even recruit groups within our own country to do so, let alone groups in other nations with higher value of a certain club remains solely in government, or returned to the students. Muslim populations. the centralized control of the somewhat Whichever process is ultimately decided Also, in recent years, terrorism seems to have Nathan Shapiro arbitrary whims of government. upon as most just can be debated by the become exclusively a Muslim activity. The attacks One possible method of countering constitutional framers who are more in- of September 11th, the Madrid subway bombing, this concentration of authority can be a timately involved in the process than I the London terror attacks, several attacks in Indone- constitutional clause which forces the currently am. sia, Chechnyan rebels in Russia, the riots in France, The Stony Brook Reform Party has student government to appropriate some This proposal is not meant to bind the shoe bomber, the USS Cole, repeated attacks in proposed an excellent constitution to re- portion of money based on the market the hands of the student government in Israel, and countless kidnappings show this. place the current Undergraduate Student place. In a free market, subjective values creating the budget for student organi- The list could go on forever. But still, people Government. The new constitution calls are transformed into objective ones, and zations. The careful deliberation on all are hesitant to draw a common conclusion from all for a republic bound by the rule of law these objective values should be used to dimensions of various clubs’ needs must of these attacks. Be that as it may, I refuse to turn and the principles of limited government determine the value of certain organiza- continue to play a significant role in de- a blind eye. Each and every one of these attacks similar to those found in our own na- tions, not the capricious whims of a small termining what funding organizations re- was conducted by a group at least claiming to be tional Constitution. However, I believe body of students. To this end, I propose quire. Only a portion of the student activ- of the Islamic faith. This is not an isolated practice the proposed constitution can go a step the following possible solution: ities fee will go towards this suggestion or belief. further in securing the benefits of a free A portion of each student’s activ- and the remaining funds can proceed to Even if you look at the innocent Muslim popu- market place for the student body, at least ity fee, the proportion of which should be dispersed in accords with the process lation, they are not doing enough to prevent their in the realm of club funding. be determined and fixed by the constitu- currently proposed in the constitution. fellow Muslims from committing such atrocities. Student clubs and organizations rep- tional framers based upon their own de- All forms of government are resis- There is not a united movement amongst good resent a service provided for the student termination of what would be appropri- tant to relinquish authority which it has Muslims to reduce this activity, which lends to the body. Just as we wouldn’t give our state ate, should be available for each student already asserted; our student government question, are they really “good”? We know for sure and national governments the authority to to personally direct towards whichever is no different. The battle to remove some that Americans would not let that type of behavior determine which services we can receive club or organization he or she chooses of the USG’s discretion in the appropria- be comitted in our good name. It would be immedi- in the market place, we should not allow so long as he or she is a member of said tion of funds will not be easily won and ately squashed by a countermovement for the good the student government. organization. may not be decisive. However, even if of society. While the proposed constitution For those students who do not join the percentage of the student activity fee These are questions that must be asked. Politi- does provide that “the number of students a club, or do not personally utilize this that might someday be used in a program cal correctness must be put aside to face this very served by the funded activities” shall be option, their unused activity fee will be such as this is comparatively small, it real and glaring problem. There is nothing wrong one of the criteria for club appropriations, returned to a general fund which can be will still provide a guiding light for the with hurting a few feelings to save thousands of no constitutional provision binds the will apportioned to various clubs based upon student government in providing funding lives. We must prioritize and we must open our of the student government to that senti- the size of the club’s active membership, based upon a club’s objective value as eyes. ment. The final judgment of the financial utilized at the discretion of the student determined by the free market place.

 The Patriot - March 2006 The Lost Amendment Grinds My does not require the large, intrusive gov- which, over time, have been exploited to Gears ernment we possess today. weaken the philosophy of free markets Nathan Shapiro A collectivist system, such as so- upon which our liberty is dependent. cialism, is incompatible with liberty. When the founders enumerated the Under these ethics, self-sacrifice is the power to regulate interstate commerce, norm and people have no right to pur- they could not have envisaged such The United States was the first mor- sue their own happiness but must work powers being construed to establish the Peter Griffin al government established in the history for the sake of others, making them into extensive market controls that exist, or of mankind because it was philosophi- slaves to whoever possesses the great- those which many in this nation have cally founded in the name of defend- est amount of force. It’s clear that such a called for. Nor could they have predicted ing individual liberty. Our Constitution, system requires an immense use of force that the power to tax would be used to 1. How Abraham Lincoln could successfully build a which is a marvel in the development to drive people to work for the “common radically redistribute wealth from one cabin out of “Lincoln logs” but whenever I try to build of proper government and can never be good,” and as a result the government is individual to another, or to fund “pork” something out of “Peter logs” all I wind up with is a big, taken for granted, has provided the back- required to be large and heavy-handed. projects like the “paper industry hall of messy pile of poo. bone for free government in this nation When the Constitution was created, fame.” 2. Drivers who still ride around with the Kerry/Edwards for over two centuries, providing for the there was little debate as to the merits of However, our founders did provide 04’ bumper stickers on their cars. Yeah, I realize you’re protection of civil liberties, property and private property or working for one’s own for us a way out of this predicament: the still sore and all that but I mean c’mon, it’s been like two limiting the encroachment of big govern- sake. Indeed, the Constitution contains constitutional amendment process. A years now and it’s sad really. It’s really sad. ment into our lives. However, we must several explicit defenses of private prop- good start would be to repeal the 16th 3. I also hate having to call in sick to work on the days acknowledge its work was incomplete erty from government seizure. Further, amendment authorizing federal income when despite the fact that I am legitimately ill, my voice and has not been completely successful it limited the size of the government so tax, preventing the federal government still sounds perfectly fine. So I make an attempt to have in defending the institution which our that it could not develop the means to use the means to expropriate an individual’s my voice sound sick but I can tell the boss isn’t buying it liberty requires to thrive: Capitalism. force upon the people, such as is required earned wealth. Second, an amendment so I have to worry all day that everyone thinks I was just Capitalism is the only economic in a collectivist system. And where the must be proposed to make whole the in- faking it when in reality I was sick at both ends. system compatible with individual lib- Constitution fell silent, American phi- complete philosophy of capitalism found 4. When the media spends 3 days discussing Dick erty. Under capitalism, physical force is losophy of individualism fought against in the Constitution and, to this end, I pro- Cheney accidentally shooting another hunter and what removed from human relationships and any form of collectivism that would have pose an amendment to the Constitution makes the national news was that he was missing a all business is done on a voluntary basis denied Americans the approximation of a which would create a separation of econ- hunting stamp. with contracts negotiated between free capitalist economy which we were given omy and state, which might read similar 5. I can’t stand the people who hold the door open for individuals. Everyone in such a system by our forefathers. to a passage found in Ayn Rand’s novel you even though you’re a good 30 feet away. Then you is free to work for his or her own life’s I labeled our economy as “an ap- Atlas Shrugged: have to rush over there because they’re waiting, smiling improvement and in the pursuit of happi- proximation of capitalism” because we “He sat at a table, and the light of his and holding that freakin’ door and you feel like an idiot, ness, which is facilitated by being able to do not have, nor have we ever had, a lamp fell on the copy of an ancient docu- doing the half walk, half run thing. I mean c’mon look own what they earned in the form of pri- completely capitalist economy. For all ment. He had marked and crossed out at me? I’m fat. It takes me a little longer to get to point vate property. Under capitalism, the only the virtues of the founding generation, the contradictions in its statements that A to point B. These door holders not only make me use of force is retaliatory and is used by theydid not completely understand the had once been the cause of its destruc- look stupid, but they also force me to get all sweaty. the government in order to punish those philosophical underpinnings of capital- tion. He was now adding a new clause to And when I finally get to the door, these do-gooders get who use force to violate the rights of oth- ism without any government intrusion its pages: ‘Congress shall make no law pissed at me for not thanking them when the only thing I ers. Government has no other role but to into the economy and lives of its citizens. abridging the freedom of production and would thank them for is a nasty case of swamp ass. The protect the rights of individuals, which As a result, they held some contradictions trade . . .’” freakin’ nerve of some people. The Dizzy Heights of Primitivism

As embassies are engulfed in basic spatial reasoning skills could the current state of affairs through while the alleged rights violations flame, as violence spreads to more truly believe that Western culture different idiotic actions too numer- are not a source of national pride Muslim countries, as a fatwa is is- and radical Muslim culture are of ous to mention. For example, under at the moment, burning down em- Brett Denyer sued that it is the Islamic duty of equal value. Ronald Reagan, we supplied arms bassies and publicly calling for the Muslims to kill the man respon- One culture condones equal to the Mujaheddin when the USSR murder of innocent people are not sible for drawing a caricature of rights for all, separation of church invaded Afghanistan; of course, exactly sociable behaviors, either. the Prophet, the world has finally and state (in the U.S., anyway), when we later invaded Afghanistan, And surely we all remember the of the bad ones, and that zealots of seen the dramatic result of years of freedom of speech, and tolerance of that turned out not to have been public outcry (the echoes of which any kind—be they Muslim, Chris- attempting to appease the radical others; the other culture promotes the best idea. Another sore point no doubt still reverberate through tian (no shortage of those, either), Muslim world. the subservience of women, vio- is leaving Beirut after the marine certain lecture halls here at Stony Jew, or otherwise—are typically This latest hostility is yet an- lence, and brutal repression of dis- barracks bombing in 1983, which Brook) over the “torture” of the at the root of many of the world’s other powerful demonstration of sent. Note the difference between could be seen as giving in to terror- prisoners at Abu Graibh (I wonder problems. In fact, many moderate the values of the radical Islamists: the normally peaceful protests in ism. The Iran-Contra scandal prob- what excuses those same professors Muslims around the world have violence, ignorance, and above all, this country, and the crazed, vio- ably doesn’t help conservatives’ have for the rioters). Parading pris- spoken out against the madness of reckless hate. lent protests currently raging in the case too much, either. oners around in their underwear? the extremists. People living in the West must Middle East. Is there really any Our current president is also Completely unacceptable. But These protests do not just re- now make a choice, one that could comparison? a little bit naïve about who we’re please, Mr. Fanatical Muslim, burn flect an isolated conflict centered affect the future course of events At a time when a terrorist orga- dealing with in the Middle East down all the embassies and consul- around freedom of speech, but a significantly. Either we continue to nization now controls the Palestin- these days: upon the abominable ates you like. Too bad they didn’t much broader war ongoing on all condone, indeed, encourage an ac- ian parliament (by popular vote!), Yasser Arafat’s death in 2004, in- burn down the French ones—but fronts between a culture of reason, ceptance of this ideology of hate, or and when the radical government stead of pumping his fist in the air then again, not even France is im- peace, and freedom versus a culture we recognize it as such and take a of Iran, which has proclaimed its as he should have, he actually said, mune from Muslim rioters these of violence, repression, and hate. stand against it. We may continue desire to wipe Israel off the map, is “God rest his soul.” Call me insen- days (recall the riots near Paris this And now, having allowed the seeds to fan the flames—or finally choose attempting to gain nuclear capabili- sitive, but I guess I have a hard time past fall, during which nearly a of hatred to take root through de- to fight back. ties, these protests demonstrate the asking God to go easy on a murder- thousand cars and several schools cades of appeasement of the radical This is about more than mere brutality and primitive nature of the ous thug. and nurseries were burned). Muslim world, the West must reap freedom of speech (which is an es- extreme Islamists and should be a Just as an amusing aside, the I wish to point out that what it has sown. As we stand in the sential and wonderful part of West- wake-up call to all of us. United Nations recently released throughout this article, I have ad- midst of this cultural war, we have ern culture, to be sure); this is about It is also important to realize a report urging the closure of the dressed the cause of this violence two choices. We can continue to ap- sending a message to the radical that Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton Guantanamo Bay detention center as the “radical Muslim world” or pease the radical Muslim world and Muslim world. are not entirely to blame for the for suspected terrorists on account “radical Islamists”. It is impor- consequently embolden it, which A necessary first step would current state of events. While lib- of alleged “human rights viola- tant for all of us to remember that has resulted in untold violence and be to forget the multiculturalist crap erals certainly have their share of tions” while riots over the cartoons there is also no shortage of peace- unrest; or we can take a stand for that your professors shove down the blame, conservatives and liber- have been spreading throughout ful Muslims who are as full of good the values of the Western world and your throat. Surely no person with als alike have helped to bring us to the world. The last time I checked, qualities as the radical Muslims are strive to put out the flames of hate.

The Patriot - March 2006  Blazing Angels: Squadrons of World War II

Blazing Angels shows off some of the best visuals seen thus far on the 360, with lighting effects and motion blurs that are incredible. Settings such as London and Paris give nice contrast to the open skies that are beautiful to look at. Adding to the beauty is a healthy single-player campaign featur- ing 38 authentic WWII planes over 18 single-player missions. Additionally, there are 10 co-op missions and a pvp online component. Thus far, the only complaint from players is that the game feels too realis- tic, giving a sense of speed and turning that makes some people sick. As far as I’m concerned, that makes the title that much better. Besides, any game that you can destroy Paris has my attention. Vive la France!

Release Date: 3/24/06

By Damon Vetere While the launch of the 360 in Novem- Microsoft took a long time to get the ber had its share of stellar titles, such as final development kits to develop- GAMER’S GUIDE It will soon be the start of spring. Call of Duty 2 and Condemned: Crimi- ers. While this was a major setback to For gamers, this means that the post- nal Origins (just to name a few), there the 360 launch, the many delays gave holiday video game drought is nearing has been the lack of feeling that the developers enough time to adjust and its end. Even more important, if you 360 is indeed a generational leap from polish their games, and that’s always are one of the lucky few who plunked the Xbox. Hopefully, that’s all about to a good thing. From what the industry down $400 bucks on an Xbox 360, change. has seen so far, March is going to truly you can finally pull it out of the closet, Many of the games that were usher in the reign of the 360. So sit dust it off, and get ready for the “real” originally scheduled for a November back, relax, and start rolling that loose launch of the system, that is, games or December release were delayed un- change, because this month’s going to worthy of being called “next-gen”. til March, mainly due to the fact that be expensive.

Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter Out: 3/8/06 Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Out: 3/21/06

The third install- experience that feels real, appears seamless, When it was first of a few square miles (yes, miles!) and a ment (yes, only third; and looks gorgeous. announced that Obliv- ton of hours of game-play (not including the other games re- But what about online play? For start- ion would not make side quests), Oblivion will be massive. Like leased on Xbox are only ers, the pvp (player vs. player) combat is Microsoft’s predicted many RPG’s (role-playing games), Oblivi- considered expansions) back and better than ever. While not much launch window, cries on will feature character customization to of the Ghost Recon has been disclosed on multiplayer, Red were heard throughout the fullest, from clothing to weaponry to franchise has seen some Storm promises a killer online experience the gaming community occupations. You can even be a vampire, drastic changes from that Ghost Recon fans will surely enjoy. But that rivaled the destruc- where you must suck the blood from dead past Ghost games. If what has grabbed my interest the most is the tion of Alderaan. For animals and humans to regain health. As you haven’t been a fan of past Ghost Recon co-op feature in GR:AW. Included will be those who bought a 360 just for Oblivion you can see, most of the stuff in this game games (I haven’t been), this addition to the 4-player co-op missions that take place in a (yes, there are many of you out there) it’s is just cool. series may finally hook you in. Third per- completely different setting than the single- been a long, long winter. It seems as though But don’t fret, conservative RPG-ers. son perspective is back, a la Ghost Recon 2, player campaign. Instead of Mexico City’s Oblivion will finally see the light of retail Oblivion will have tons of dungeons to and while most of the game-play elements single-player campaign, co-op will have Ni- on March 21st, so you can put World of hack ‘n slash through, beasts to maim, and remain the same, the setting has changed caragua as its host. This means a completely Warcraft down now. No really...enough al- villains to murder. With the massive world drastically. GR:AW takes place in Mexico new and different experience when players ready! squeezed into this tiny disc, RPG fans City, which is fully functional. Thats right, complete the single-player campaign and Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is an RPG around the world can finally rejoice and urban combat. Gone is the individual mis- are salivating for more. And with Ubisoft’s of epic proportions. Boasting a game-world have something to ‘/dance’ about. sion format, replaced by a helicopter trip track record for downloadable content, this that takes you do different parts of the city game might always remain fresh. after you complete a specific task. This makes the game feel extremely immersive and fluid. Red Storm has also taken advantage of the 360’s widescreen aspect ra- tio, developing a new HUD with lots of things going on at once in real-time. Graph- ics pop up on screen, giving you satellite pictures and enemy locations. The goal of Ghost Recon 3’s single- player campaign is clearly to immerse the player in an

10 The Patriot - March 2006 (Can we say we told you so?) of the Lost WMD

By Robert Romano

Before the war on terror and tyranny was expanded into Iraq in 2003, the overarching conventional wisdom was that Hussein’s Iraq retained WMD stockpiles and that these were being hidden from the United Nations and the international community, and this view was shared by all of the world’s major intel- ligence agencies, including those of the U.S., UK, France, Russia, and Germany. After the liberation of Iraq by the coalition of the will- ing, the conventional wisdom shifted and it was believed by many that Iraq did not retain the WMD, and that the frustrated efforts of the coalition and the Iraq Survey Group to locate the WMD inside of Iraq was one of the great- est intelligence failures ever, that the war was a mistake, and even in some quarters that the intelligence had been concocted. Of course, some of the more militant opponents to the war who insist that this theater in the war on terror is based on a lie, never could quite ex- plain how it was the President of the United States managed to get all of these intelligence agencies to “cook up” the proof. In the mean- time, conservative critics complained that the shenanigans at the UN Security Council had given Hussein’s regime the time it needed to spirit away the WMD, and that the failure to find the WMD in Iraq did not disprove the claims of the intelligence agencies. Previously, in The Statesman, an author had opened on an open question, “So, Just Where Are Those Weapons?” To date, it re- of Iraqi scientists and officials concerning chemical warfare (CW) capabilities...” newspaper, De Telegraaf, which detailed that mains a fact that the unaccounted for WMD information they deliberately withheld and By this time, hope of finding the WMD the unaccounted for WMD were hidden in which the UN had confirmed that Iraq had pos- through physical evidence of equipment and inside Iraq appeared to be all but lost, though three specific locations inside of Syria. These sessed before the war have still not been fully activities that ISG has discovered that should the Iraq Survey Group, in Dr. Charles Duelf- revelations would certainly land the Syrian accounted for. According to then U.S. Chief have been declared to the UN.” er’s testimony on October 6th, 2004, acknowl- regime, already under international pressure Weapons Inspector, Dr. David Kay, in testify- Despite evidence that Hussein’s regime edged the possibility that the unaccounted for for its role in the assassination of the former ing to Congress on October 2nd, 2003, the un- had again defied the international community, WMD may have been spirited away: “A vari- Prime Minister of Lebanon, Rafiq Hariri, its accounted for stockpiles are relatively small: and that Iraq had retained the strategic ability ety of questions about Iraqi WMD capabilities state sponsorship of terrorism. This places “[i]t is important to keep in mind that even and intent to fully reconstitute its WMD pro- and intentions remain unanswered, even after Syria in much hotter water than before, since the bulkiest materials we are searching for, grams with fervor if and when sanctions could extensive investigation by ISG. For example, they were already under speculation for allow- in the quantities we would expect to find, can be lifted, critics of the war were not deterred. we cannot yet definitively say whether or not ing insurgents and terrorists to travel into Iraq be concealed in spaces not much larger than Dr. Kay’s testimony was later elaborated on WMD materials were transferred out of Iraq since 2003. As before, I believe that the unac- a two car garage...” Dr. Kay also confirmed by the full report of the Iraq Survey Group: before the war. Neither can we definitively counted for WMD must be accounted for, and that the Iraq Survey Group had discovered “Saddam [Hussein] so dominated the Iraqi answer some questions about possible retained that these reports must be investigated thor- “dozens of WMD-related program activities Regime that its strategic intent was his alone. stocks...” Though President Bush later stated oughly, as they have significance most impor- concealed from the United Nations during the He wanted to end sanctions while preserv- that much of the intelligence was wrong, it ap- tantly to the peace and security of the region, inspections that began in late 2002. The dis- ing the capability to reconstitute his weapons pears that after all, it may have been right. to the historical record, and also importantly covery of these deliberate concealment efforts of mass destruction (WMD) when sanctions On January 26th, 2006, The New York to the strategic credibility of the coalition that have come about both through the admissions were lifted. Saddam wanted to recreate Iraq’s Sun reported that one of Iraq’s top generals led the campaign to liberate Iraq. If Syria WMD capabil- under the Hussein regime has confirmed Is- does indeed have these weapons, the regime ity—which was es- raeli claims that Iraq had spirited the unac- there must certainly disarm them, and also be sentially destroyed counted-for WMD to Syria. On December called to account for their role in aiding Hus- in 1991—after sanc- 23rd, 2002, then Prime Minister of Israel, sein’s regime in violating its international ob- tions were removed Ariel Sharon stated, “Chemical and biologi- ligations pursuant to the ceasefire agreement and Iraq’s economy cal weapons which Saddam is endeavoring to after the first Gulf War and the subsequent UN stabilized, but prob- conceal have been moved from Iraq to Syria.” Security Council Resolutions. ably with a different In his interview with The New York Sun, Finally, in another revelation, and per- mix of capabilities to former General Georges Sada stated, “There haps the best piece of evidence to date that that which previous- are weapons of mass destruction gone out Iraq did indeed retain WMD, a series of audio ly existed. Saddam from Iraq to Syria, and they must be found recordings which has been given to The In- aspired to develop and returned to safe hands... I am confident telligence Summit, chaired by John Loftus, a a nuclear capabil- they were taken over.” General Sada’s story frequent contributor to the FOX News Chan- ity—in an incremen- is based on the remarkable tales of the pilots nel and WABC’s The John Batchelor Show, tal fashion, irrespec- of two airliners who were apparently respon- which were released on February 17th at the tive of international sible for moving the WMD inside passen- summit, confirms the Iraq-WMD connection. pressure and ger jets which had had their seats removed. These recordings are of Saddam Hussein the resulting These pilots claimed to have made 56 flights himself and top aides discussing the some of I STEP ON SOME- economic in all. Also, on the January 26th Sean Hannity Iraq’s WMD plans. According to Mr. Loftus: THING CRUNCHY... risks—but Show, the General confirmed that WMD had “Saddam’s secret office recordings continued MAYBE FORTUNE he intended been moved via tractor trailers in the days be- well into the year 2000. In all, they contain to focus on fore the war, which confirms previous reports COOKIE? ballistic mis- to that effect. This seems to in part confirm Continued on page 15 sile and tactical the January 5th, 2005 disclosure to a Dutch

The Patriot - March 2006 11 Surveillance Program Ensures Security

Last December the New York se, does not mean that they were probable cause is established, that What is indeed troubling is Times revealed that international without warrant. To use an analogy, a warrant could be obtained when not the execution of the President’s communications related to trans- if a police officer witnesses a crime necessary, but not beforehand. authorization, but rather the disclo- Robert Romano national terrorism were being in- being committed, it would not be While all actions of the federal sure of this program at all, which tercepted by the National Security necessary for that officer to run to a government are subject to judicial on its face violates the principle of Agency without written warrants. court to obtain a written warrant in review, they need not be reviewed security established here, and more The program was classified and order to make an arrest. He would before the fact. They can, and in importantly violates our own laws their ilk’s expectation of privacy, the Times aquired this information need to act quickly and decisively many cases, must be reviewed after which prohibit the disclosure of and whether such expectation is through an illegal disclosure. As a to capture the perpetrator based on the fact. classified information. reasonable from the government’s result, a debate has been rekindled probable cause. According to the President, Under the principle, the truth standpoint. If these matters must as to the proper balance between the Similarly, if the government this program is not without over- should be known to all unless it be brought to a court in order to as- peace and security of our society, can obtain intelligence related to sight and review: “The activities I poses a danger to peace and securi- certain whether there was probable and the privacy of individuals who a potential attack, or to those who authorized are reviewed approxi- ty, or violates privacy. In this case, cause, this must occur in the same are either complicit or connected have perpetrated or would commit mately every 45 days. Each review a danger has arisen to our national secrecy that the program was in- to terrorist networks, and whether attacks against the United States, it is based on a fresh intelligence as- security, and according to the Presi- tended to be carried out in. Public their expectation to privacy is at is reasonable to gather that infor- sessment of terrorist threats to the dent, “[O]ur enemies have learned officials who demand, or anybody all reasonable considering that they mation based on a sure sign. continuity of our government and information they should not have, who would require, that the consti- mean America great harm. According to the President, the threat of catastrophic damage and the unauthorized disclosure of tutionality of a classified program Congress is now demanding “Before we intercept these com- to our homeland. During each as- this effort damages our national se- be adjudicated in a public court are new oversight to this program, and munications, the government must sessment, previous activities under curity and puts our citizens at risk. irresponsible. The purpose of this several critics have contended that have information that establishes the authorization are reviewed. The Revealing classified information is program was to gather intelligence, the program is beyond the Presi- a clear link to these terrorist net- review includes approval by our illegal, alerts our enemies, and en- and its functions must remain clas- dent’s authority both under present works...” This could be probable nation’s top legal officials, includ- dangers our country.” sified. law and the Federal Consti- Politicians undermine tution. our security at all of our In a December radio peril, and there can be no address, the President said exceptions to the principle that his authorization of this that security must not be program has addressed a corrupted by politics. problem which had existed Under the September previous to the war on ter- 18th congressional authori- rorism: zation for the use of force, the President “is authorized “Terrorists inside the to use all necessary and ap- United States were com- propriate force against those municating with terrorists nations, organizations, abroad before the Septem- or persons he determines ber the 11th attacks, and planned, authorized, com- the [9/11] commission criti- mitted, or aided the terrorist cized our nation’s inability attacks that occurred on Sep- to uncover links between tember 11, 2001, or harbored terrorists here at home and such organizations or per- terrorists abroad. Two of sons, in order to prevent any the terrorist hijackers who future acts of international flew a jet into the Pentagon, terrorism against the United Nawaf al Hamzi and Khalid States by such nations, orga- al Mihdhar, communicated nizations or persons...” One while they were in the Unit- vital aspect of waging war ed States to other members is gathering intelligence on of al Qaeda who were over- potential targets, and that is seas. But we didn’t know “If Hillary is talking to Usama Bin Laden, we wanna know about it.” precisely what this program they were here, until it was was doing, and should con- too late... The authorization I gave cause in some cases. These sorts ing the Attorney General and the This program should have re- tinue doing. The information being the National Security Agency after of interceptions could lead to an Counsel to the President. I have mained secret, and its disclosure gathered by the National Security September the 11th helped address eventual request for a warrant for reauthorized this program more ought to be investigated extensively Agency under this program creates that problem in a way that is fully broad-based monitoring of a terror- than 30 times since the September by the Department of Justice, and actionable intelligence which is be- consistent with my constitutional ist suspect. the 11th attacks, and I intend to do those who illegally provided infor- ing used in the war effort. Whether responsibilities and authorities. The Clearly, with his resigna- so for as long as our nation faces mation about it prosecuted to the or not an attack is imminent, in our activities I have authorized make it tion from the Foreign Intelligence a continuing threat from al Qaeda fullest extent of the law. Though war effort against transnational ter- more likely that killers like these Surveillance Court, Judge James and related groups... The NSA’s The New York Times claimed to rorism, gathering intelligence on 9/11 hijackers will be identified and Robertson was saying that this pos- activities under this authorization have sat on the story for a year, their potential attacks, those who would located in time. And the activities sibility is distinctly the reason for are thoroughly reviewed by the delay does not in any way mitigate perpetrate such attacks, and those conducted under this authorization his resignation. And now terror sus- Justice Department and NSA’s top the harm which has been caused to individuals connected to both is an have helped detect and prevent pos- pects are trying to get any evidence legal officials, including NSA’s our government’s ability to carry activity which must and will con- sible terrorist attacks in the United which may have originated from general counsel and inspector gen- out classified operations beyond the tinue in spite of disclosures of those States and abroad.” the intercepts thrown out of court. eral. Leaders in Congress have been public’s and our enemies’ purview. activities. Protecting the lives of But besides the intercepts, how briefed more than a dozen times on We violate the principle of se- American citizens is our govern- Privacy of an individual ought else could the government know this authorization and the activities curity and laws which are intended ment’s foremost responsibility, and not be protected by the government that the person was involved with conducted under it. Intelligence of- to protect classified information at without that protection, our liberty if that individual either poses or the enemy? How else would prob- ficials involved in this activity also our own peril. The propriety of the will quickly lose its security. possesses information about a clear able cause be established? Are the receive extensive training to ensure President’s authorization is an issue and present danger to the peace and critics suggesting that the President they perform their duties consistent which must be dealt with now in the security of our society. It is there- must prevent future terrorist attacks with the letter and intent of the au- public sphere, and in the context of Robert Romano is the fore unreasonable to expect the on the United States, but that he is thorization.” Also, according to The our political institutions, when it President of the federal government not to intercept not allowed to use those technolo- New York Times’ report, “[T]he ad- should have never been made pub- Stony Brook University communications between domestic gies which make that possible? If ministration had briefed Congres- lic in the first place, and when it was College Republicans. and international terrorists, or those warrants can only issue upon prob- sional leaders about the program a matter of security which must not connected to or sponsoring such in- able cause constitutionally, how is and notified the judge in charge of be corrupted by politics. You can read more from dividuals. an intelligence agency supposed the Foreign Intelligence Surveil- Public officials, in consider- him on his website, Just because these intercep- to establish that without using in- lance Court, the secret Washington ing the propriety of the program, www.federalrepublican.com. tions were not conducted with writ- telligence-gathering techniques? I court that deals with national secu- should carefully weigh the necessi- ten warrants issued by a court, per think it would be appropriate, when rity issues.” ty of security versus terrorists’ and

12 The Patriot - March 2006 What is the Point of This?

By Eli Steier have been in were wasting my time (big sur- not think for themselves and subjugate their in this country. I believe I have so much more prise). ideas tothose in authority. A person coming freedom than I would have in many other For a midterm, I was given a study sheet. There should be no reason why any stu- out of this system would be perfect to work in places. I also live a relatively stress-free life. At home when I studied for the midterm I dent anytime cannot ask the teacher directly, a strict business setting. Who wouldn’t hire I do not have to worry about food or shelter answered the questions on paper so I could “What is the point of this?” and not receive someone who never questions the boss and is and I can even attend a university. I feel it is study better. And by study I mean memorize a direct answer. It sounds like an offensive used to spending eight hours a day in a dull very patriotic to question the system that one facts from books and regurgitate them back question because it actually places you on building? lives in and find authentic answers that are onto the page. I wrote them all out, nicely and the same level as your teacher (And yes you It should not be the goal of any teacher open to change. neatly; it was quite a feat. When I came into are on the same level; we are all equal under to tell me what to do with myself. I find it It’s hard to talk to people about what class to take said midterm, it turned out that our Constitution, right?). You now have to be stifling though that most of the classes I have they think without them bringing in an au- the official test was the exact same questions, answered as an equal, a human being. Also taken have had so little interaction with the thority or institution that they rely on for exact same sheet. Basically, all I did then was it is scary to voice one’s own ideas. People world outside school. School exists in its their wisdom. Talking about what one really write over my answers from what I could re- may not like your ideas. People may laugh. own world. How can one talk about living thinks is scary because one may learn some- member and then handed the test in for an It takes a great deal of courage and those in a free democratic society in New York thing that will change his or her world for- easy A. That really pissed me off. that do should be commended…even if their State when, if you look at the voting districts ever. Many times when this happens people I thought about what I was actually ideas are stupid and laughable. online it is clear that the voting districts are pretend they didn’t learn anything new at all learning from this midterm exam. I came From elementary school on we are completely unfairly drawn? (http://assembly. and will continue to live the old way. Many to the conclusion that I was being tested on taught a lot of things that are not specifically state.ny.us/mem/ Click on an assemblyman people I find are more concerned with being my short-term memory skills. The test asked part of the curriculum. We are taught to obey link than click on their voting district link.) right than actually learning something…and nothing different than the review sheet save an authority figure who obviously knows Today was the first day I even looked at my that’s a shame. It is very hard to learn some- only that I complete it in less than two hours more than we do. We are taught that learning state’s website. I have lived in this country thing when one knows everything. It all goes in a classroom. A sort of academic beat-the- is done in 45 minute bursts. We are taught all my life and I can’t even name one local back to school where we learned that being clock game show. Maybe the teacher just that our feelings do not matter, that the per- councilman, any assemblyman, and only a wrong is bad. wanted to “test” if any of the material she as- son who gives the fastest answer to a ques- handful of senators that are splashed about in Do you feel school has not had any signed was read. To be fair some of the ques- tion is the smartest, and that it is wrong to the media. Perhaps this is only my personal negative effects on you? Well, I would tions did ask for my own opinion but largely be wrong. We are taught to care about what sob story but I feel there are a lot of people love to hear from you, my email address is that was not the case. That is still not a good others think of us. We are taught a wide va- out there who couldn’t care less. [email protected] enough reason to justify writing the same an- riety of “truths” that are not even subject for And I should know, I was one of them What I do now in my classes is question swers all over again. discussion. We are taught that Lincoln freed until recently. Originally, I went to college the teacher when I feel it’s worth the struggle, I am an English Education Major and the slaves, our Forefathers were always hon- to have a good time and come out with a or if I seriously do not see the point of the les- one of the requirements of this field is to take orable, and we live in a free, classless society. piece of paper that will help me get a good son at hand. I encourage you to do the same, something called a “Methods” class. This Students, in my experience, rarely are asked job. Unfortunately, I learned some stuff along after all, you are paying for it; might as well class asks the questions “What is an effective to think about the truths for themselves, to the way. Now, my goal is not to have a good try something brave. Be a hero. way to teach? Is there a difference between discover their degree of truth. Rather they time. I want to talk with people that are inter- My goal is not to start trouble but to what I think I am teaching and what I am are told at an early age that these are truths ested in talking about things. I do not know learn what the teacher is planning for me. I really teaching?” There is also a lot of talk without question. No one ever told me that how it happened but it did and I’m stuck with do not have any aversion to doing work that about controlling the classroom. The result textbooks are written by a person, a person a vision of the world I cannot change and I I believe could lead to something positive. of this class changed my perception of what that contains his own flaws and biase. This do not like it. I would love for someone to This means I have to be willing to listen to teaching really is. It also made me realize that technique does an amazing thing: it cre- change my mind! Save me from this hell! the teacher’s answer. It is just as important a lot of teachers in this school and schools I ates a passive population of people that do I consider myself very fortunate to live as asking why. What is an “American Conservative”?

What then defined the so-called “conser- eralism, are as follows: vatives” of America? It was suggested that a Nathan Shapiro belief in a strong executive was the defining 1.) Conservatives support an effective attribute of early conservatives. I disagree with Republic, but one which has limited powers that assertion. European conservatism and its over the individual, leaving each person free to alliance with Europe’s monarchies, can be live their lives as they see fit without govern- What defines a conservative in America defined by this philosophy but not American ment intrusion. That is why modern conserva- today or in America in times past? This was conservatives. Some conservatives, like Fed- tives adhere to judicial philosophies which do the topic of a recent discussion I had with a eralist Alexander Hamilton, did share much of not construe the Constitution as granting more fellow Republican, and it’s a subject that I felt the European-conservative appeal for a mon- power to the federal government than it was needed further study. Such an investigation arch-like executive, but this is not a defining originally intended to. requires tracing “conservatism” back through trend in American conservative parties. American history to the founding of this nation The concern of American conservatives 2.) Conservatives desire a strong na- and following its philosophical transformation in a strong executive has shifted based on tional defense. Going back to the time of the to today. pragmatic concerns. You’ll find that in periods Federalists, who can be seen as the historical It was proposed to me that the original of Democratic dominance of the Presidency, “conservative” party, they supported a profes- factions began at the time of the founding with such as the immediate post-Civil War era, the sional army and an effective navy, whereas and has changed over time, such as a historical the Federalists and the Jeffersonian “Demo- Wilson Presidency at the end of World War I their counterparts in the Democrat party (dat- support for protectionism until the depression crats” (which is the direct ancestor of the mod- or the modern “Contract with America” era ing all the way back to Jefferson) opposed destroyed its facade as a viable system. Yet, ern Democrat party). ushered in by Newt Gingrich, Republicans such things. Since the Civil War, the Repub- overall, from Hamilton’s support of capitalist With this division, he assigned the “lib- have supported legislative dominance where lican Party understandably emerged as the banking to free market supporters like Gold- eral” label to the Jeffersonians with the Feder- applicable. For this reason, I don’t think the party of the military. Subsequent Republican water and Reagan, conservatives have con- alists being named the “conservative” party. I establishment of a strong executive is a basic presidents that placed an emphasis on building sistently been the defenders of capitalism in think this is a practical identification, although tenet or a defining attribute of conservatives in up American military strength, such as Theo- America. it is imprecise. America. dore Roosevelt, reinforced the justified image The imprecision of the conservative-lib- I propose that the founding ideology of of conservative Republicans as defenders of These ideas have been shared by conser- eral breakdown of the Federalists and Jefferso- conservatism in America is actually classi- national security and promoters of a powerful vatives and the Republican Party throughout nians is easily seen in the shared limited-gov- cal liberalism, which should not be confused national defense. America’s history, but not always consistently. ernment principles of modern conservatives with modern liberalism, because they are very Furthermore, there can be a genuine debate as with James Madison, the Father of the Con- much the antithesis of each other. Classical 3.) Conservatives are promoters of capi- to whether certain historical Americans that stitution and a staunch Jeffersonian Democrat. liberalism is based on individual liberty and talism, with a history of supporting modern- each side claims as their own would find ref- However, this cross-appeal doesn’t destroy the support of free-market capitalism. It has taken ized industrialization, banking and free market uge with modern day conservatives or liber- distinctions between the two parties, and is at- several shapes, with different policies being reform. The very foundation of the Republi- als. However, I think that they do define the tributable to the universal acceptance of much implemented at various times in our history. can Party was free soil for free workers and beliefs of most American conservatives today of America’s founding principles of constitu- The defining characteristics on American promoted industrialization. This commitment and continue to be the source of moral strength tional government. conservatives, mostly founded in classical lib- to capitalism has not always been consistent behind the conservative movement’s success.

The Patriot - March 2006 13 Intelligent Design Isn’t Science www.mmurphyphoto.com them. Are germs not real because they’re understand the theory, so often times, from “just a theory?” The problem here is the a biologist’s standpoint, their arguments Erik Berte differences between scientific wordings are almost ridiculous (one of my favorites versus common usage of words. Sure, we is “why are there still monkeys around often say something is “just a theory” if it’s then?”). And what it comes down to is your something that’s not really proven, but just word against theirs, which isn’t much from Year after year we face this same de- an idea. However, in the world of science, their perspective. bate. In the past it was whether or not we such a thing would be called a hypothesis. Finally, my last point here is to make should teach creationism in the classroom. For scientists, a theory is “a well-sub- the argument that “fairness” is not a con- Today we face basically the same situation: stantiated explanation of some aspect of the cept that the scientific community employs. should intelligent design, which is nothing natural world; an organized system of ac- Creationists often say that it’s only fair to more than creationism with a new twist, cepted knowledge that applies in a variety present both ideas to students because lots be taught in our public schools? The an- of circumstances to explain a specific set of Americans, right or wrong, do support swer is such an obvious no to anyone who of phenomena.” The theory of evolution creationism/ID. Well, guess what? Science truly understands the scientific method and is well intertwined in every part of biology, isn’t democratic. Just because a lot or even the theory of evolution. Creationism/ID is as Dobzhansky suggested. As a biology most people believe something, doesn’t not in any way scientific, and furthermore, student at Stony Brook University, I can make it right. © 2006 Mark D. Murphy this debate should not have anything to do definitely attest to this. I’ve seen the theory This is where the importance of the with “fairness,” as science has nothing to in action with my own eyes in the labora- scientific method comes in, which creation- do with what is fair. tory. But most importantly, it makes perfect ists don’t understand. Science is based on “Nothing in biology makes sense ex- sense! evidence that explains things in our world. cept in the light of evolution,” a famous I could go on and on discrediting ev- Without testable evidence, a hypothesis can quote by anthropologist, Theodosius Dob- ery creationist/ID theory, but I don’t have never be shown to be true or untrue. The zhansky. Ignorant people often make the the time or the room here. For those who creationist argument is such a hypothesis; argument against accepting evolution by are ignorant, but willing to learn, just look evolution is not. Americans need to be saying that it’s “just a theory.” This only fur- up information on evolution yourself and careful of what they teach their children in ther proves that they’re unacquainted with you’ll see what you’ve been misunder- science classrooms. How can we explain the scientific method, which is the entire standing. You see, the problem with de- the basic foundations of science and the basis of research and development in any bating people who reject evolution is that scientific method if we advocate that ideas science. Many of these people are shocked they have nothing to back up their claims like intelligent design and creationism are GOT to hear that gravity is also “just a theory.” with about creationism. There simply is as equally valid as tested theories that have Germs too are just a theory, but somehow no evidence for it. All they have is blind been well established and accepted by the antibiotics help us fight off infections from faith and nothing to show for it. They don’t scientific community? STONY Redundancy in the Humanities

established the division of power between earn. states and the federal government. Only This trend of teaching is slowly chang- Erica Smith fifty-three percent of those surveyed knew ing our society. Not only are students being BROOK that the purpose of the Federalist papers was robbed of an adequate education (and being to gain ratification of the U.S. Constitution. charged more for it), but it’s also making stu- What might shock you even more, however, dents feel irrational guilt for the actions of Humanities classes have become in- is that there was no difference between the others, distorting their view of a country that creasingly redundant. Too many courses re- results of history, social science, and other allows more freedom and opportunity than volve around the same three topics: racism, majors. And it’s fair to assume that literary any other in history. And, finally, it is fuel- sexism and slavery. knowledge is in a similar state. ing a culture of victimization. By placing so HOCKEY? As an English major in my second year Why are professors spending so much much emphasis on the wrongs done to certain at Stony Brook, I’ve found that seven of my time on these politically correct topics? First, groups, these groups increasingly identify courses devoted a significant portion of class it is easy. Novels with obvious messages are themselves with the role of the victim. time to these topics, four of them spending not hard to analyze. These topics also allow For example, believing the glass ceil- more than half the semester on them. Only an entire class to participate passionately, ing is the sole obstacle to your success as a one of the course descriptions, an English lawyer takes away your incentive to work class cross-listed with women’s studies, hard toward that goal and provides a con- gave any warning of this limited focus. venient excuse in the event of failure. If Slavery is immoral and a stain on universities are not careful, their empha- the history of our country. It is wrong to sis on past injustices to certain groups will discriminate against someone because of harm these groups even more. gender or the color of his skin. But how Racism and sexism have caused many times do you need to say it? Should enormous turmoil in our country, and un- an English teacher pick a book for its po- fortunately, however, you don’t teach peo- litical message instead of its literary val- ple not to be ignorant by saying “Don’t be ue? Is it appropriate for a survey course ignorant.” that covers American history from its cre- As Ayn Rand put it, “The only pur- © 2006 Mark D. Murphy ation to 1865 to devote well over half of pose of education is to teach a student the semester to slavery and the customs of how to live his life—by developing his American Indians while squeezing 30 years even if the students have never read the ma- mind and equipping him to deal with real- of the presidency into one lecture? Should terial, freeing the teacher from the duties of ity. The training he needs is theoretical, i.e., a summary of Jefferson’s life focus almost an extensive lecture. And no one is going conceptual. He has to be taught to think, to entirely on his slave ownership? Universities to challenge a professor who says slavery is understand, to integrate, to prove. He has clearly need to re-evaluate their priorities. wrong. to be taught the essentials of the knowledge And it’s not like there’s class time to Second, these topics allow professors discovered in the past—and he has to be spare. In 2000, the American Council of (and students) a self-esteem boost. Express- equipped to acquire further knowledge by his Trustees and Alumni surveyed the graduating ing outrage of the injustices of the past allows own effort.” ONLINE: seniors at America’s most elite institutions, one to feel enlightened. Criticizing Thomas Students should be taught to think by the U.S. News and World Report’s top 55 Jefferson for his ownership of slaves allows being provided with complex information to colleges and universities, and issued a report an ordinary person to feel morally and intel- analyze, interpret and debate. Focusing a his- www.mmurphyphoto.com called “Losing America’s Memory: Histori- lectually superior to a political genius. Not tory class on indisputable wrongs, and filling cal Illiteracy in the 21st Century.” You’d be only is this perception completely out of con- an English class with materials of obvious shocked to know that only sixty percent of text, but it also allows a person to feel satis- messages, will not form an enlightened soci- those surveyed knew that the Constitution faction and pride for something she did not ety. It will make an ignorant one.

14 The Patriot - March 2006 1. First you must establish that you this is what you want and whether or not there is HOW another man. Once this is done you may begin step 2. 2. This step is kind of unethical, but hey, when it comes to breaking up you need the TO strategic advantage. Your going to have to rifle through her things, get anything that may LOSE give you the upper hand at a later date, like the cell phone. Take down as many numbers as you can, social security number, credit card numbers, embarrassing pictures, and any- thing she wouldn’t want you to have if you ever broke up. Then put them in a safe place A so she wont find them, because at this point you haven’t broken up yet. 3. Like the previous step you will have to do a bit of light stealing, take anything of yours, GIRL IN 10 or anything that might prevent you from gaining the upper hand. Such as sappy love let- ters, your tawdry love pictures, stained undies anything like that.

DAYS 4. At this point if you’re lucky you have the upper hand just by the fact that she doesn’t know what is going on so the key is to wait and not make any bold moves. You should, however, start working the field for a couple of rebound girls, but this has to be done secretly, very secretly. Most of your friends shouldn’t be aware, because you never know who is going to turn after the split. Oh, and stupid, don’t go to your local bar or the place you are always at, that’s just not smart and I shouldn’t have to explain why this move shouldn’t be attempted.

5. This step is all about predictions, predictions of what she might be doing (so the longer you have been dating, the easier this step will be). You’re going to have to try and find out what she does with her friends and when you’re not around. And if she is seeing another man don’t get angry don’t blow your load just yet, remember stud, your playing the field, but chances are since you’re a man you’re being smarter about it. So tell everyone how good you have been to her and that you love her so much no matter what she does you’ll always love her. Always allude to the fact that she might be cheating, this will give you the AWWW! factor. Mutual friends and other girls including her friends will start think- ing you’re the one who is getting the shaft.

6. After you have gained some allies start drinking more, seem more affected by the rocky relationship. Then start making awkward situations. When you guys are out to- gether in public places start a small tiff in private and let her drag it out into public mak- ing her seem bitchy. This maybe hard depending on the girl, but usually its easy enough; just wait for “AUNT FLOW” to visit.

7. Now is the time to start having the “State Of The Union“ conversations with her, while cuddling of course. Then 90% of the time she is going to use the following line on you: “honey I love you, but it like you’re a different person when we’re out with everyone and I don’t like that person.” Which is just estrogen jive, pay it no mind and move forward. Because the next thing she is going to say is you drink too much, which for most you reading the article makes her seem incredibly hypocritical, because most girls on Long Island spend more time at the club flirting with guys for drinks or demeaning themselves at the Boardy Barn, than in the kitchen or cleaning. So stay strong and say “I choose the bottle over you baby” or something smooth like that.

8. At this point if she hasn’t already broken up with you, you’re going to have to make the “BOLD MOVE” I discouraged before. Your going to have break up with citing past discretions. Yup, past discretions even if there weren’t any, make them when people ask why you broke up with her, and always say your heart is broken, always.

9. This is a crucial time; don’t rush into another girls arms (unless of course it’s one of her friends) cause it ruins the “good guy finished last persona.” And as for her, just stop talking to her, take it from me. The whole notion that “we can still be friends” is just fem talk for “I’m sleeping with someone else and my friends know it and I don’t want to seem like the bad guy.”

10. Now it’s done just see which of your friends take sides and ditch them and move on dude, your better off. Now you’ll have more time to drink and not be bothered. Have one for me, and have one for the memory of the lost love. Hehehehe

Can We Say “We Told You So?”

Gulf War, that warheads were removed from al terrorists against America were more likely Iraq Survey Group’s final report confirms. Continued from page 11 Iraq after the first Gulf War prior to unilat- than from a state like Iraq, or if they were The most explosive revelations may be eral destruction (and were not reported to the saying that through the use of proxies, Iraq yet to come, as more sources come forward at least 12 hours of totally candid discus- UN), that Iraq changed its story on warhead would have plausible reason to deny having to verify these various pieces of evidence sions with his senior aides. Clearly, after destruction in order to match the findings of committed the attack. Though the recordings that Hussein’s regime did indeed deceive the these tapes have been verified and corrobo- UNSCOM, that Iraq had continuing nuclear only provide a small window into the inner world and had concealed its WMD stock- rated, they will be able to provide a few de- weapons aspirations and efforts throughout workings of the Hussein regime, it does pro- piles, and partisans and critics of the war who finitive answers to some very important-and the 1990’s, that Iraq had a plan to explain to vide evidence of the regime’s ongoing cam- so quickly claimed that the President had controversial-weapons of mass destruction the world that dual-use chemical materials paign of denial and deception of its WMD “misled” America into war must be called to questions.” Since then, the National Security and facilities had solely civilian uses even programs during the post-Gulf War period, account as well. Agency has verified positively that the voice though they had military applications, and all the way through the year 2000, two years The American people deserve to know on the recordings, which date back many that the regime was discussing the option or after Operation Desert Fox in 1998. Despite the truth about the depths of Hussein’s cam- years, is indeed the former Iraqi dictator, possibility of attacking America through the aggressive sanctions and ongoing military paign of denial and deception. And at the end Saddam Hussein. use of proxies or terrorists taking matters into actions against Iraq throughout the 1990’s, of the day, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see The recordings reveal evidence that their own hands. the regime was not deterred from pursuing the President appearing on television with Hussein regime’s efforts to thwart the UN in- On this final count, it is unclear if the re- WMD, though these efforts seem to have the UK’s Prime Minister, Tony Blair, stating, spections regime in the decade after the first gime was saying that an attack from individu- been increasingly compartmentalized, as the “We told you so.”

The Patriot - March 2006 15 Spotlight on Republican Girls

Ciara and Laura - Nevada

Ciara hails from Las Vegas and Laura is from Reno. Both of these lovely girls are undergraduates at Uni- versity of Nevada. Ciara is an art ma- jor, while Laura is more interested in business. They were quick to share the Nevada College Republicans slogan, which is “We win, they lose!” They are pro second amendment rights and pro family.

Jessica - Minnesota

This native of the “North Star” state is a graduate student who works for a conservative think tank (she’s certainly given us a lot to think about). Jessica has also interned for her Republican congresman.

Hilary Duff - Katy, Texas

This mega-successful girl star power continues to rise. The actress and singer showed her true patriotic WANTS YOU! spirit when she performed for President George W. Bush at his second inaugural bash on Janurary 19, 2005. This “Disney girl” is all grown up now. Got a camera and a conservative girl? Send photos to: [email protected]

16 The Patriot - March 2006 Check us out online at www.stonybrookpatriot.com! Full Color Photos | Related Links | Archive of all Patriot Articles

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The Patriot - March 2006 17 Sex at The ‘Brook

By Virginia Morgan or him/her, you should pick them. for you. Even though you are ro- “Bros before hoes”- a classic Chances are you have more emo- mantically involved, you still need expression we’ve all heard count- tional ties to your friends and they to show your friends there’s a place less times. It’s cute and catchy for are going to be there for the long for them in your life. What better sure, but is their any truth to it? haul. Some random fling might not way to do that then being there for Should we really put our “bros” last and if there’s little emotional them when it really counts? How- before our “hoes”, and if so when? attachment, there won’t be any risk. ever, you shouldn’t just be there for There comes a time in every rela- I know sometimes it’s hard because them when it really counts. You tionship when both partners are you can do things with him/her that also have to be there every now and faced with this “make or break” you wouldn’t ordinarily do with then just to hang out. It’s ok to ditch question. If you put your signifi- your friends but resist the tempta- the girlfriend once and a while for cant other before your friends, you tion to ditch them. If the only thing a guy’s night out or vice versa. If risk alienating life long buddies. that keeps you with him/her is the you trust your significant other, this However, if you put your buddies thought of playing some figurative shouldn’t be a problem at all. In before your boyfriend or girlfriend, baseball, he/she isn’t worth it. fact, it will help your relationship, you risk sleeping on the couch or Now if you are dealing with trust me! worse! something more than a fling, some- By now you are probably So what is the proper eti- thing perhaps a little more serious, thinking, “Well can’t I do stuff quette when it comes to “bros” and that changes things. Sure- you still with both my significant other and “hoes”? Well if you are dealing shouldn’t always pick him/her over my friends, at the same time?” and with a literal hoe, you always put your friends but it is acceptable if you are correct. That is unless you your friends first. Why? Simple. the odds are more in his/her favor dealing with a literal hoe. If it’s a You know that warm, tingly feel- than your friends’. After all, if you literal hoe, chances are he/she has ing they give you? Here’s a hint: liked your friends as much as you been with your friends before and out. The reason you spend time tonsil hockey like it’s the Olym- it’s not love and you should go liked him/her- you’d be dating it would just create bad blood if with your significant other away pic semi-finals. So just opt for see a doctor ASAP! Seriously them and this wouldn’t be a prob- you tried to mix them. On the other from your friends is so you can holding hands and the like. Your though- if you and your significant lem! Despite the fact you can pick hand, if he/she is just a significant presumably do more than hang friends shouldn’t have a problem other aren’t that serious or if it’s a him/her more than you would your other, serious or not, it’s ok to hang out. I’m not saying you have to with nonchalant behavior like purely physical thing, don’t insult friends, you still have to be care- out with them and your friends si- act completely platonic with your that and if they do, it’s their prob- your friends by ditching them for ful. If there’s something important multaneously, just watch out for boyfriend/girlfriend when in lem not yours. him/her. Now I am not saying you coming up for one of your friends that pesky PDA. While you are mixed company but I am saying So remember- bros be- should always pick your friends and you skip out on it for some hanging out with both your signifi- be respectful. Not everyone will fore hoes or hoes before bros, over him/her but if it came down quality time with the significant cant other and your friends, keep appreciate it when you and your it doesn’t matter as long as you to choosing to hang out with them other, it’s not going to bode well in mind that it’s just that: hanging significant other start playing keep it fair and balanced.

Depressing WTF?! Picture of the Month Poetry Corner

Once a month, we shall publish an odd picture that can only For those times when you make you go, as you would on AOL Instant Messenger, “WTF?” This month we came across a pastry/cookie/tasty treat of some think your life sucks. kind that for some reason inspired hate and foul language in any Jew- ish person we showed it to. There can be only one answer... And you have it! Please send in your explanations, and we’ll publish them alongside the picture as a caption. Tell us what you can discern from this picture, and the events which might have brought it about. My Heart is Elsewhere Send in your submissions to [email protected] By Alexsandra Borodkin with the subject line, “WTF?!” What’s with this pastry/cookie/tasty treat? This month’s photo was taken in the SAC Cafeteria. My heart is elsewhere tonight behind the waters, the troubled seas beyond the reach of the pale moonlight Submitted Captions: Last Month’s Picture: away from the humming wind in trees.

My heart is within you tonight “Poster child for not smoking crack while within your soul, your strength, your eyes pregnant.” shining quietly but bright like a star in darkened skies “Whateva! I do wut I want!”

My heart is with you tonight to comfort you while you’re away “Yeah, I robbed the Ronald McDonald fund to hold you until the sunlight too, so wut?” brings about the lonely day.

18 The Patriot - March 2006 Ted Kennedy’s Drink of the Month Satire By Virginia Morgan Irish Flag Shooter

*Not intended for the weak of stomach, faint of heart or for those who are under 21 years of age.

Ingredients: 1 oz. Green Creme de Menthe 1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream 1 oz. Grand Marnier

Directions: Pour ingredients in the order listed into a shot glass or high ball glass. They should separate and form the Irish Flag.

Yield: 1 serving

When not ambling through the halls of Congress or fili- bustering judicial nominees on the floor of the Senate, there’s nothing Senator Kennedy likes more than kicking back on the shores of Chappaquiddick with a nice, cold drink in his hand. Each month this column will highlight one of Senator Ken- nedy’s favorite drinks. This month’s drink: Irish Flag Shooter.

Get Wasted Like Ted at Drunk of the Month These Fine Locations

Fred Keller Stony Brook Area Port Jefferson Area Lake Grove Area Best Drinking Story: Three Village Inn Tara Inn Printers Devil John Harvard’s Brewhouse Okay... a couple years back Planet Dublin was the 150 Main Street 1519 Main Street 105 Wynn Lane Smithaven Plaza weekend haunt for my friends and I. We always had a Stony Brook Port Jefferson Port Jefferson Lake Grove good time there from what we could remember. One par- 751-0555 473-9602 473-1130 979-2739 ticular night it seemed as though we were all power drink- Happy Hour: 5-7 Happy Hour: 5-7 Happy Hour: 4-7 Happy Hour: 4-7 ing at the club. Boozin’ and dancin’ so on and so forth. At one point I could only find my buddy Joe and he suggested J&R’s Steakhouse Village Way Billies 1890 Saloon some Cuervo shots. Stumbling to the bar, he ordered and 1320 Stony Brook Road 406 Main Street 304 Main Street the bartender said they were free if we drank right out of Stony Brook Port Jefferson Port Jefferson the bottle. Needless to say we finished it and went on our 689-5920 928-3395 331-1890 way. Now comes the funny stuff… well, it’s funny now. Happy Hour: 4-7 Happy Hour: 5-7 Happy Hour: 5-7

We hop in the car and our driver, Ron, was especially happy that night. So he decides that 347 is a speedway Drinking Philosophy: Drunkest Ever: Favorite Drink: lighting up the tires as we bang a U-turn back towards Nicholls Road. Then he locks the brakes up as we pass our Drive fast, take chances, shot’s up!!! and Oh god, the night I fractured my ankle Harp and Irish Mist, definitely! turn off, throws it in reverse, makes the turn, and drives Slante’ and unleashed hell in Brookhaven along. Hospital’s Emergency Room. Favorite Bar: *The Patriot, obviously, does not All the while he’s laughing his ass off. No sooner condone this behavior.* did I tell him to slow down... WHOOP WHOOP!! Suffolk That would have to have been Buckley’s County’s finest pulls us over. After Ron gets taken away Irish Pub in Center and everyone else admits they’re too plastered to drive, the Moriches before the cop takes the keys and says good luck. So now here we fire. RIP Buckleys are: the four remaining drunks with no ride on some road.

With no other choice but to walk, it took about three Favorite hours to get back to Middle Country Road. Along the way Bartender: we tried to hitch a ride on some dudes ten speed, stumbled into many a mail box, and were mocked by every car pass- Jason Mazzio is a ing by. Now what was really funny is that by the time we bartender before his sobered up, we realized that if we went back towards 347 time. it only would’ve taken us fifteen minutes to find a phone, which would have allowed more time to sleep before out trip to the courthouse to bring our buddy home.

The Patriot - March 2006 19 Hockey Lacks Athletics Dept. Funding

By Megan Gaffey Without the support of the athletic depart- make it back to their dorms to catch a few more rink time to sharpen the level of playing. ment, the rest of the necessary funds need to hours of sleep. The fact that SB Ice Hockey is Rink time is actually a major factor, because Since my first year here at Stony Brook, I be provided by other sources. In the 2004-05 the top team in DII ACHA Hockey is astound- with the Rinx being the only appropriate facil- had heard rumors about how great our hockey season, USG gave the team $31,000, alumni ing, considering they are playing every game ity on Long Island for hockey teams to prac- team was. Apparently, they defeated nearly gave $23,000, and corporate sponsors provid- on two hours of late night practices per week. tice in, it is very crowded and difficult for any every opposing team, and going to see their ed another several thousand. Clearly, the situation should not remain team to get more rink time. games seemed to be the cool thing to do. I Granted, there are many NCAA regula- as it is. There are several options available, With so little time to practice, the team was impressed by what I heard, but I was tions that the hockey team need not worry none of which have been acted upon yet. cannot become a varsity sport, because the also slightly confused as to why there was about, since NCAA will not back a program knowing that no “Hockey Team” link on the SB Athletics they are not the players will have hardly any opportunity webpage. As a varsity athlete myself, I knew under such ju- to improve their skills on the ice. As a result, that each team was provided certain links on risdiction. But the construction of a second rink on Long that webpage which led to rosters, schedules, the pros of be- Island would be a great help to the program, and athlete bios. So why was there no hockey coming a var- providing the SB team. Of course, this would team link? Why was this group of athletes I sity sport here be a large investment, but one that would be had been told were highly accomplished miss- at SB definitely worth it in the end. With the already popular ing from the entire athletic program here? outweigh the status of hockey on the Island, and the exis- I decided it was time to get clear answers cons, not only tence of the New York Rangers and Islanders, to my questions. I met with Hould, a senior financially, but another rink would promote the sport even here at SBU and a member of the team for the also practically. more. From Stony Brook’s standpoint alone, past four years, and I asked him, “Why aren’t With rink time it seems to be a wise investment. With anoth- you guys a varsity sport?” costing $365/ er rink available, we could become the only We need to start with definitions of a hr, the team college hockey team on Long Island, and SB few technical terms. Stony Brook is NCAA can only spend Athletics could increase its fan base, and ul- Division I (DI), the most competitive of the a maximum of timately earn revenue from a successful new three National Collegiate Athletic Associa- four hours per team on our program. tion’s categories. Beneath us are NCAA DII week on the ice, Asked if, under ideal conditions, he and DIII. Within our division, different var- including game would prefer that the team move completely sity sports play within different conferences. time. This to NCAA and leave club status behind, Hould For example, the swim team competes in the leaves only two hours per week for team prac- Currently, the team is too far ahead of their replied that if at some point, the team were America East Conference, while the Football tices, which is a mere 1/10th the amount of competition to remain in DII ACHA. Every to become a member of Stony Brook Athlet- Team competes amongst teams in the North- time most varsity athletes spend in practice. player has come to the program with years of ics, there would be no need to eliminate the east Conference. Swimming and football are Not only are they only allotted two hours, but prior experience; this is not a walk-on team. club team. The club could serve as a stepping both recognized varsity sports; they receive also the hours available are extremely incon- Moving up to DI would be a wise thing to do, stone for players who would come to Stony money from the Athletic Department, and are venient. Many of the practices end around but it would only solve the problem of being Brook with prior experience, but who were under all NCAA regulations. Varsity athletes 12:00 AM, which means that the players are too good for their league. The monetary situa- not ready to play DI NCAA hockey. It would are provided (free of charge) coaches, trainers, practicing off-campus, late at night, after a tion would actually be worsened as a result of also provide players with a high caliber hock- academic advisors, equipment, transportation full day of class, and with another full day entering a more competitive division, because ey experience without all of the strict NCAA to and from competitions, room and board at about to begin by the time they change and there would be more traveling and a need for regulations. away competitions, and more. On top of that, some of us have the benefit of receiving ath- letic scholarships. Our hockey team differs from our varsity Sean Martin’s Sports Minute teams in every way possible. Essentially, the hockey team is a Stony Brook club. Not un- The Winter Olym- even worth watching because they are racist. the Knicks in the depths of salary cap hell. der the oversight of the NCAA, they belong pics gives the NHL a (Gumble failed to mention that he himself This story continues to get stranger by the to a body of club hockey teams governed by chance to showcase its used to cover the games for CBS without day, and I don’t see how anyone can justify the Athletic Collegiate Hockey Association. talent on a worldwide a word of protest) I myself find it hard to the fact that Knicks General Manager Isiah Like the NCAA, the ACHA is divided into stage, as the league’s best believe that an event that hosts over 80 na- Thomas still has a job. This is a man whose divisions, and Stony Brook Ice Hockey falls players suit up for their respective countries tions is somehow racist. People watch the track record as a front office man includes into DII. However, unlike the NCAA, the in an international tournament. The past two Winter Games because they get to see events bankrupting an entire league, a failed coach- ACHA does not provide varsity athletic status years have been tough for the NHL between that they themselves often don’t have the ing stint, and sexual harassment allegations. or scholarship money to incoming freshmen. the lockout that cancelled the entire 2004- chance to experience. Racing down an ice Thomas needs to be fired, immediately. Although they are the top team in their league, 05 season and the recent gambling scandal shoot at high speeds is not something that ----- they cannot offer any monetary compensation involving Wayne Gretzky, which made the many people have access, or the heart to do. Spring training has gotten underway for to recruits. effort put forth by Team USA this month in Gumble’s rant was bitter and insensitive, if both the Mets and Yankees, without any ma- SB Hockey’s position as a club team does Turin that much more disappointing. Given he were white he more then likely would jor news from either camp. The most news- not allow funding by the athletic department the opportunity to generate excitement about have faced serious backlash in the media and worthy event so far for the Mets has been the so much of the costs fall on the shoulders of their sport the US produced only 1 win in probably would have lost his job. Maybe the status of Pedro Martinez’s injured toe. Met the players. This year alone, each of the thirty 6 tries, with the lone win coming against an reason that Gumble was able to avoid reper- fans hold their breathe with every toss and players spent $900 dollars just to be on the overmatched team from Kazakhstan. Add- cussions is because Dave Chappelle had it are left to wonder if the trading off of both team. If the team needs transportation to an ing insult to injury were public disagree- backwards... It is in fact Bryant Gumble that Jae Seo and Kris Benson is going to come out-of-state game, they need to pay for the bus ments between Team USA management and makes Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X. back to haunt them come mid-season. The trip. If one of the players is injured at prac- star player Mike Modano. This wasn’t ex- He makes O.J. Simpson look like he big story so far for the Yankees has been the tice or at a game, the treatment from a trainer actly helpful for a sport that is desperate for cares about black people. semi-annual Gary Sheffield outburst. The has to be paid for by the team. No equipment some positive press in this country. ----- diva right-fielder is once again unhappy with is provided, and even the coach and officials ----- The New York Knicks pulled off another his contract status and voiced his frustrations are employed by the team itself. On top of Bryant Gumble has been in the head- trade this month, acquiring former Maryland to the media. Personally I find it tough to this, The Rinx, which is the facility at which lines recently for his bitter tirade against Star and #2 overall draft pick, Steve Fran- feel sympathy for a man who has not only SB Ice Hockey practices, charges $365 per the Winter Olympics. He claimed that not cis, from the Orlando Magic. Not only does threatened to make his team’s life hell if hour. These expenses rapidly add up, and the only are the Winter Olympics just a scheme this move fail to address any current needs traded, but also admittedly committed errors combined $27,000 only meets one-third of the to make money, but that the games are not for the team, but it also continues to bury on purpose. What a bitch. team’s approximate $85,000 yearly budget.

20 The Patriot - March 2006