The Marshmallow Test a Model for Success

The Marshmallow Test A Model for Success

ithout a Beit Hamikdash for nearly two millennia, most Jews find it difficult Rabbi Reuven Brand todayW to relate to the concept of Temple service, the world of kodashim Rosh Kollel, YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago (realm of Temple sanctity) and korbanot (sacrifices). Even in the world of Torah study, Temple service korban Pesach specifically, that can be blended together? Why are the is in a separate category. When one help inform and inspire our service mitzvot intertwined so that one may opens a volume of the classic Vilna of Hashem on Pesach and during the not slaughter the korban Pesach edition of the Talmud, one finds the rest of the year in the absence of a Beit with chametz in one’s property? Gemara accompanied by its classic Hamikdash? Why must the Pesach be eaten with commentaries including Rashi, To begin thinking about this question, matzah? What is the meaning of the Tosafot and Rif. However, in the perhaps we should consider another relationship between the holiday of tractates of Kodashim, the Rif and fascinating juxtaposition: Pesach the korban Pesach and the holiday of matzah and chametz? accompanying super-commentaries and Chag HaMatzot. When looking are absent, since the Rif’s work is closely at the verses in Shemot chapter Additionally, we may wonder about the meant to be a practical summary of 12 and Vayikra chapter 23, we learn placement of korbanot in our national the Talmud, and Kodashim does not that there are actually two distinct development. Nissan is the time of the have a practical application today. holidays that overlap in Nissan. The birth of the Jewish people. Although we However, there is one time each first is Pesach, which occurs on the observe Rosh Hashana in the Hebrew th year that the world of kodashim 14 of Nissan and concludes before month of Tishrei, the lunar calendar and th takes center stage in our Jewish the morning of the 15 of Nissan. the schedule of our holidays begins in lives: the night of the Pesach Seder. The second isChag HaMatzot, which Nissan (as the Gemara in Rosh Hashana th Even today, when the actual offering begins on the eve of the 15 of Nissan 4b explains). The Torah informs us that is not present, the mitzvot of the and continues for seven days. These Nissan is the first month of the year: Seder and its structure and practices holidays have separate mitzvot as their Hachodesh hazeh lachem rosh chodashim all revolve around a korban — the central motif. Pesach is focused on the (Shemot 12:2). We are a people korban Pesach. Many customs of slaughtering and eating of the korban symbolized by the moon; hence, we Seder night are meant to remind us of Pesach; Chag HaMatzot is focused on are born as a nation during Nissan. In life in the Beit Hamikdash generally, a weeklong holiday, much like Sukkot, this light, the Midrash describes yetziat including wearing a kittel, washing and the requirements of eating matzah Mitzrayim as a birthing process: ויושע ה' ביום ההוא את ישראל מיד מצרים before dipping, and how we treat and prohibiting chametz. The two ... כאדם שהוא שומט את העובר ממעי הפרה. the meat we will eat at the Seder holidays overlap on the night of the 1 Seder, fusing the concepts of the מכילתא דרבי ישמעאל בשלח - מסכתא dinner. A question arises in this korban Pesach and matzah. We can דויהי פרשה ו context: what can we learn from the world of kodashim generally, and the wonder: why must these mitzvot

I would like to thank Avi Mori, Mr. Etzion Brand, Mrs. Ora Lee Kanner, Dr. David Pelcovitz, Professor Leslie Newman and Mrs. Andrea Polster for their help with this article. 11 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5775 And God saved the Jewish people on that consecrated to how it is treated and the blood after sundown, which is no day from the hands of Egypt… Like even where its owner stands in the Beit longer the time the sprinkle blood. a person that removes a fetus from the HaMikdash. The kohanim, similarly, Rambam, Hilchot Pesulei womb of a cow. have an extremely regimented set of HaMukdashin 13:1 Mechilta, Beshalach, Masechta guidelines and procedures for each Even an errant intent can ruin an Vayehi no. 6 offering that governs their every otherwise perfectly good sacrifice. Just as when a child enters the world, movement and even their mindset. The This emphasis on discipline and its future is shaped largely by its Rambam teaches: obedience is rooted in the Torah’s description of the construction of שלש מחשבות הן שפוסלין את הקרבנות. experiences during its formative the first sanctuary — the Mishkan.3 ואלו הן. מחשבת שינוי השם. ומחשבת years, our nation was influenced at its According to the Beit HaLevi (Ki המקום. ומחשבת הזמן. מחשבת שינוי השם ,inception, shaped by its first mitzvah Tisa), the Torah reiterates the phrase כיצד. זה השוחט את הזבח שלא לשמו: כגון the korban Pesach.2 It is fascinating ka’asher tziva Hashem — as Hashem שהיה עולה ויחשב שהוא שלמים ... מחשבת that Hashem chose a korban as the commanded — repeatedly in Parshat המקום כיצד. כגון ששחט את הזבח לשמו על first charge for the Jewish people as :Pekudei for precisely this reason מנת לזרוק דמו. או להקטיר ממנו דבר הראוי they became a nation and that the להקטרה חוץ לעזרה ... מחשבת הזמן כיצד. transition from slavery to peoplehood וכיון דעיקר חטאם בעגל היה מה שרצו כגון ששחט את הזבח לשמו על מנת לזרוק . occurred in the context of להתחכם מעצמם לעשות ע”פ ידיעתם kodashim דמו מאחר שתשקע החמה שאינו זמן זריקתו. וחכמתם מעשה אשר לא נצטוו עליו ולזה In essence, every Jewish home in רמב ם הלכות פסולי מוקדשין יג א במעשה המשכן שבא לכפר נאמר על כל ” , : ,Egypt became a miniature mikdash with the placement of blood on the אשר עשו כאשר צוה ה’ ... היה כל כוונתם There are three types of thought doorpost instead of the altar and the רק כאשר ציוה ה’ ונתכוונו רק לעשות ציויו that invalidate sacrifices and they eating of a sacrifice in its confines. ורצונו יתברך לא משום שהשכל של עצמם are: thoughts relating to a change in Why is the world of the מחייבת לעשות כן, וזהו שכיפר להם על חטא kodashim designation, thoughts relating to a change first one we enter as we begin our העגל. in place and thoughts relating to a change covenantal journey with Hashem? in time. What is an example of thoughts Since the primary sin of the Golden Calf relating to a change in designation? One was that they wanted to be autonomous Discipline who slaughters an animal for the wrong and act based on their own knowledge purpose, such as one who slaughters an and wisdom and they performed an act The answer to these many questions olah thinking that it is a shelamim. … that they were not commanded, when the can be found in one word that is What is an example of thoughts relating Mishkan, which was to atone for their essential to kodashim and definitional to change in place? Such as one who sin, was built, it says regarding everything to Judaism: discipline. It is difficult slaughters the sacrifice with the correct that they did “as Hashem commanded.” to capture the scope and detail of the designation but with intent to sprinkle the … Their entire intent was only to do what regulations and minutiae that govern blood or sacrifice a part that is worthy Hashem commanded and they did so only the world of kodashim; to say it is of sacrifice outside of the Azarah … because Hashem commanded them, not exacting is an understatement. Every What is an example of thoughts relating because their own thoughts led them to aspect of a korban must be fulfilled to a change in time? Such as one who that conclusion, and this is what atoned with complete precision, from the slaughters an animal with the correct for the sin of the Golden Calf. specifications of the offering and designation for the purpose of sprinkling the manner in which the offering is While the realm of kodashim may be unique in its extreme emphasis on discipline, its character is The halacha — the path along which we symptomatic of Jewish life in general, which is defined by this central lead our lives — directs all aspects of a concept. Torah life expects us to abide by specific guidelines; the person’s existence, much like a guard rail word mitzvah means commandment, follows the highway. not good deed. We are expected to

12 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5775 discipline all aspects of life, even beyond those that are formally forbidden by the Torah. This is how Ramban (Vayikra 19:2) defines the mitzvah ofkedoshim tihiyu — being holy: והענין כי התורה הזהירה בעריות ובמאכלים האסורים והתירה הביאה איש באשתו ואכילת הבשר והיין, א"כ ימצא בעל התאוה מקום להיות שטוף בזמת אשתו או נשיו הרבות, ולהיות בסובאי יין בזוללי בשר למו, וידבר כרצונו בכל הנבלות, שלא הוזכר איסור זה בתורה, והנה יהיה נבל ברשות התורה. לפיכך בא הכתוב, אחרי שפרט האיסורים שאסר אותם לגמרי, וצוה בדבר כללי שנהיה פרושים מן המותרות. The idea is that the Torah warns of sexual transgressions and forbidden foods, but the Torah also allows sexual relations between husband and wife and allows eating of meats and wines. Therefore, a lustful person will take advantage and have multiple wives or will be a savage when it comes to drinking wine and eating meat, speaking in a vulgar manner. He will do as he pleases because there is no prohibition in the Torah. However, he will be vile within the permissions of the Torah. Therefore, the Torah after enumerating the actual prohibitions presents as general rule that we should [even] refrain from permissible acts. The halacha — the path along which we lead our lives — directs all aspects of a person’s existence, much like a guard rail follows the highway. With its specific positive and restrictive mitzvot, the Halacha serves as a guide and governor for each individual in public and private settings. Each precept itself has specific parameters and requirements that fill the innumerable pages of The future is Talmudic learning, commentaries, responsa and codes that endeavor to define them. Beyond the realm of action, in your hands. Judaism requires that we discipline our minds and hearts. The Gemara,Berachot 12b, states that the prohibition Meet Zeva Abrakhimova, a current Yeshiva University against straying after one’s heart (Bamidbar 15:39) senior. Zeva will be graduating with a degree in chemistry refers to having thoughts and beliefs that are antithetical and will be attending dental school in the Fall. She to Judaism, and the prohibition against straying after is among the 90% who are employed, in graduate one’s eyes refers to having thoughts of committing a sin. school - or both - within six months of graduation*. With Judaism even calls upon us to discipline our emotions; nearly double the national average acceptance rates to medical school, 97% acceptance to law schools and the commandment not to covet others’ possessions 4 placements at Big Four accounting firms, banks and is one example. The disciplined life of the Jew, which consulting firms, the numbers speak for themselves. requires self-control and sacrifice, is all encompassing and #NowhereButHere. serves as a model of heroism, eizeheu gibbor hakovesh et yitzro, who is strong? One who conquers his inclination (Avot 4:1).5 This self control is the ultimate goal for which we strive. www.yu.edu | 212.960.5277 | [email protected] Hence, we can appreciate why Hashem chose kodashim to *Career Center Survey, 2013/2014 serve as the context for our initial, formative experience as www.yu.edu/enroll

13 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5775 a people: it is the paradigm for a life during this special week. We clearly us to live fulfilled lives that include of discipline. Now we can understand carry over the discipline and rigor of enjoyment and accomplishments in why the korban Pesach was chosen as kodashim on the holiday of Pesach the eternal spiritual world and also in the first mitzvah, and we realize the to the weeklong holiday of Chag our this-worldly existence. This idea is significance of its many specifications. HaMatzot. carried to the extreme by a passage in Those who participate in the korban the Talmud Yerushalmi: Pesach must be disciplined in רבי חזקיה ר' כהן בשם רב עתיד אדם ליתן A Modern Dilemma preparation by avoiding any contact דין וחשבון על כל שראת עינו ולא אכל. with that would disqualify them. ירושלמי קידושין ד tumah All of this may give an onlooker, or They must consume the korban in a even a seasoned and committed Jew designated place and at a specific time pause: how should we view a life of R. Chizkiyah and R. Kohen said in the within their specific group. Even the such discipline? It sounds as though, name of Rav: A person will have to give manner in which the meat is cooked as the Talmud teaches, we have simply an accounting [in Heaven] for all that he and eaten is regulated in detail. Imagine substituted one servitude for another: saw and didn’t eat. looking back on such an achievement Yerushalmi, Kiddushin ch. 4 לשעבר הייתם עבדי פרעה מיכן והילך אתם of fulfilling the korban Pesach with its While these physical benefits are not עבדי ה’. fullest discipline and expressing the an end in and of themselves and are ירושלמי פסחים ה sentiment: expected to be utilized in achieving our In the past, you were servants of Pharaoh mission of bringing Godliness into our חסל סידור פסח כהלכתו ככל משפטו and from now on, you are servants of world, they point to a value in creating וחוקתו. Hashem. 7 The Seder is now concluded according a meaningful life in this world. To Yerushalmi, Pesachim ch. 5 to halacha, following all of its laws and this end, the Torah’s disciplined way statutes. How are we to understand this of life doesn’t just enable us to achieve statement? Are we are supposed to spiritual goals, it facilitates and enables The connection between Pesach be so focused on our spiritual other- us to create a more meaningful life in and the mitzvah of matzah is clear worldly goals and the discipline this world as well. as well. Matzah and its corollary necessary to achieving them that we prohibition of chametz are both completely reject our current physical The Marshmallow Test focused on regimen and discipline. existence? How can a lifestyle that is As we know, matzah must be baked so rigid, inspire a generation of Jews Our service of Hashem, unlike that of in a specific way in a fixed amount living in a culture that celebrates Paroh, which was meant to degrade of time. Chametz is an acutely autonomy as a primary value?6 and diminish the Jewish people, is severe prohibition, as it carries the actually a gift to us to raise us up and punishment of karet, and we are The Torah and our sages have enable our achievement in this world. required to be exceedingly punctilious answered these questions in a way that On the most basic level, a life of about it. Even the slightest trace of has become increasingly compelling discipline refines and ennobles: chametz can render a food prohibited in recent years: Hashem wants us to רב אמר לא נתנו המצות אלא לצרף בהן את on Pesach, unlike other non-kosher succeed in this world and discipline הבריות, וכי מה איכפת ליה להקב”ה למי foods that are generally nullified is, in fact, a key to accomplishing this ששוחט מן הצואר, או מי ששוחט מן העורף. in amounts less than 1:60. This goal. While we know that this world בראשית רבה, פרשת לך לך פרשה מד prohibition of chametz is an added is merely an antechamber to the next level of disciple, restricting a food that world (Avot 4:21), Hashem does want Rav said: The mitzvot were only given is otherwise kosher all year round. us to embrace our life in this world to refine people. Does it affect Hashem if Tosafot (Pesachim 2a) notes that it (Midrash Aggadah, Ki Teitzei no. 22). someone slaughters from the front of the is precisely because of this general The Torah’s description of reward neck or the back of the neck? familiarity that we must search for for our achievements in Parshat Bereishit Rabbah, Lech Lecha no. 44 chametz before Pesach, lest we find Bechukotai is given in material terms, Yet there is a much more profound it and inadvertently forget about which reminds us that Hashem wants and far reaching impact of leading this the new stricture against eating it

14 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5775 life of discipline and limits. It enables us to accomplish and succeed more than had we been left unfettered. By guiding us in a life of self-control, idealizing the gibbor who controls his impulses, we are opening doors to greater achievements in all areas of life, as our Torah tradition teaches charut of Torah enables true cheirut, freedom to accomplish (Avot 6:2). This concept has become the focus of major psychological and social research. In a landmark study that has become a blueprint for continued expanded research, renowned psychologist Walter Mischel found that children who were able to demonstrate self control and delay self-gratification achieved greater success over their counterparts — even decades later — in all major aspects of life. They tested this ability of self discipline by placing a single marshmallow in front of a 5-year-old and offering the child the choice of eating it immediately or waiting several minutes, at which point the child would receive two marshmallows.8 This impact of discipline on an individual is magnified when it is in the context of an entire society, as the abstract of a recent paper presented at the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America outlines: Policy-makers are considering large-scale programs aimed at self-control to improve citizens’ health and wealth and reduce crime. Experimental and economic studies suggest such programs could reap benefits. Yet, is self-control important for the health, wealth, and public safety of the population? Following a cohort of 1,000 children from birth to the age The future is now. of 32, we show that childhood self-control predicts physical health, substance dependence, personal finances, and criminal Enroll today. offending outcomes, following a gradient of self-control. Effects of children’s self-control could be disentangled from their YU enables you to grow and deepen your understanding of - and commitment to - Jewish life at a top-tier college intelligence and social class as well as from mistakes they made while discovering your passions, championing your as adolescents. In another cohort of 500 sibling-pairs, the beliefs and forming lasting friendships. With student sibling with lower self-control had poorer outcomes, despite programs across our campuses and across the world, YU shared family background. Interventions addressing self-control takes a global approach to learning, education and values might reduce a panoply of societal costs, save taxpayers money, creating a full college experience. and promote prosperity.9 A YU education is not out of reach. Over 80% of students received help with tuition last year, with over $45 million Hashem charged the Jewish people with the lofty goal of in scholarship and financial aid awarded. Picture yourself serving as a mamlechet kohanim v’goy kadosh, a kingdom at YU. #NowhereButHere. of priests and a holy nation. We are each individually meant to serve as a kohen, with an impeccable, disciplined uniform code of conduct and to collectively create a nation that is holy, which the aforementioned www.yu.edu | 212.960.5277 | [email protected] Ramban said refers to discipline. Hence, while our lives may be distant from the actual Mikdash, the ability to www.yu.edu/enroll

15 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5775 live a life of kedusha is here and now, The fullest experience of happiness is which relate to emotions, see “Lo Tachmod” and it provides us with the freedom found in the Beit Hamikdash, with the in Nechama Leibowitz’s Studies on Sefer to achieve all of our goals both in this celebration of the service of Hashem. Shemot. 10 5. See Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik zt”l’s world and the next. A similar experience of service and essay “Catharsis” published in Tradition song is also found on the holiday of (Spring 1978) by for a fully developed Joy Pesach, focused on the Mikdash. Both presentation on this concept of restraint in during the slaughtering of the korban all areas of Torah life. We can identify one final imprint of Pesach in the Beit Hamikdash in the 6. Rabbi Jacob J. Schacter develops an approach to this challenge of submission to a disciplined life: joy. Psychologists afternoon and again when families have noted that even adolescents, the will of Hashem in an age of autonomy came together to eat the korban in his article “Halakhic Authority in a who often challenge boundaries in the evening, the Jewish people World of Personal Autonomy” published in and authority, crave a measure of sang the song of Hallel. This was the Radical Responsibility. discipline in their lives to provide song of joy that accompanied the 7. The Maharal in several places notes that the 11 word chamor, donkey, shares the same root meaning and satisfaction. True joy is accomplishment of being devoted found in a sense of accomplishment, as chomer, material. Avraham, Moshe and servants of Hashem. Today, each the Mashiach are all described in Tanach as the satisfaction of sustained and of us at our Seder re-enacts the riding a chamor, which we can understand focused effort that produces results. rare experience of kodashim with as utilizing the material world as a vehicle It is the yegia kapecha, the toil of our commemoration of the korban for accomplishing spiritual feats. 8. See The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self- your hands that brings about good Pesach, and we experience a sense (Tehillim 128:2). It is no wonder, Control. of joy. This happiness is not only 9. “A gradient of childhood self-control then, why Judaism places such an because we accomplished and fulfilled predicts health, wealth, and public safety,” emphasis in the service of Hashem on the mitzvot of the Seder with all of Terrie E. Moffitta, Louise Arseneault, simcha, joy (Tehillim 100:2). their specifications. It is a profound, Daniel Belskya, Nigel Dickson , Robert J. Hancox , HonaLee Harrington, Renate The Maggid of Mezritch would say:The perhaps even subconscious feeling Houts , Richie Poulton, Brent W. Roberts, main thing is that you should always be of happiness and contentment Stephen Ross, Malcolm R. Sears, W. happy. This is especially true when you are with having a life whose discipline Murray Thomson, and Avshalom Caspi, bound to God. Without joy, it is impossible and focus bring such richness and Edited by James J. Heckman, University of Chicago, Chicago, IL, and approved 12 meaning. We express these feelings by to be attached constantly to God. December 21, 2010 (received for review singing Hallel — the same songs that We can appreciate why, according July 13, 2010). our ancestors sang centuries ago when to the Talmud (Arachin 11a), song 10. In his New York Times editorial on April the Beit Hamikdash still stood. 15, 2014, David Brooks comments on is an integral and according to some the holiday of Pesach and this notion of opinions, indispensable part of the Notes the benefits of living a life of self-control, service in the Beit Hamikdash. It 1. This concept is developed by Rabbi concluding, “The 20th-century philosopher is precisely in the context of the Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin (Netziv) in his Eliyahu Dessler wrote, ‘the ultimate aim of discipline of kodashim that we feel and introduction to Haggadah Imrei Shefer. all our service is to graduate from freedom to compulsion.’ Exodus provides a vision express the gladness of heart that is 2. The mitzvah of Pesach was the first commandment to the nation as a whole; of movement that is different from mere manifest in song. It is, therefore, in this the fulfillment of milah in Egypt was only escape and liberation. The Israelites are place that we find the apex of a joyous performed as a preparatory step for the simultaneously moving away and being Jewish experience: the Simchat Beit korban, as the Torah teaches, kol arel lo bound upward. Exodus provides a vision Hashoeva on Sukkot in the courtyard yochal bo,” an uncircumcised male may not of a life marked by travel and change but simultaneously by sweet compulsions, of the sanctuary: eat the korban Pesach. 3. According to the Rambam (Moreh whether it’s the compulsions of love, Nevuchim 3:32) the entire institution of friendship, family, citizenship, faith, a מי שלא ראה שמחת בית השואבה לא ראה sacrifices in the Mikdash was to discipline profession or a people.” Dr. David Pelcovitz, a renowned .11 שמחה מימיו. the Jewish people in their worship: to סוכה נא. channel these offerings away from idols psychologist, has noted that often his least Whoever did not see the Simchat Beit into the service of Hashem. happy patients are those who lack structure and self-control in their lives. Hashoeva, never saw true joy in his lifetime. 4. For a discussion of this mitzvah of lo tachmod and the issue of commandments 12. The Light Beyond: Adventures in Chassidic Sukkah 51a Thought by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, p. 298.

16 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Pesach 5775