The Michigan Review The Journal of Campus Affairs at the University of Michigan 12.05.06 Volume xxv, Issue 5 Inside Will “Diversity Blueprints” Political News Suffer From a Lack of Dancing with

Crackdowns in Ohio Ideological Diversity? Diversity and Michigan target Recently-formed task force de- for selecting the members of the “Diver- President Coleman’s Post-elec- signed to promote diversity, but sity Blueprints” committee. Many worry tion speech met with criticism, underage drinkers. that this “diversity” task force will suffer students remain unclear on who opposition in Ann Arbor P. 7 from a lack of ideological diversity. exactly will serve on the commit- The membership of the committee tee, and how students can get will not be determined by an application By Brian McNally, ‘08 ITCS focuses on worst invovled process. According to Dr. Monts, one of spam it has seen in the chairs of this committee, the first step resident Mary Sue Coleman’s post- By John O’Brien, ‘10 in becoming a part of this committee is PProp 2 speech on the Diag har- years. by nomination, be it by faculty, alumni, or kened back to a speech made by Winston P. 10 n a post Proposal 2 Michigan, Pres- self-nomination. Churchill half a century ago. “We will not Iident Mary Sue Coleman is doing her From these nominations, several are be deterred in the all-important work of best to preserve diversity as a way of life. selected, and a list is sent to President creating a diverse, welcoming campus. In her speech to students on No- Mary Sue Coleman, who will have final We will not be deterred.” (We shall fight Features vember 8th, Coleman pegged the passage power over who is on the committee. on the beaches.) “Today, I have directed of Proposal 2 as a threat to diversity at Those recommended include important our General Counsel to consider every le- Pointless Classes Bog Michigan, and indicated that the admin- and relevant faculty members and leaders gal option available to us.” (We shall fight istration would challenge the measure in of student organizations and MSA. Also, in the fields and in the streets.) “I have Down Graduation, court. in the selection process, the University is asked our attorneys for their full and un- M With a far less defiant tone, however, actively seeking people of various back- divided support in defending diversity at Waste Money P. 3 President Coleman recently announced grounds. the University of Michigan. I will imme- the creation of the “Diversity Blue- Dr. Monts stressed that the Diversity diately begin exploring legal action con- prints” task force. Ostensibly, the task Blueprints task force was not meant to cerning this initiative.” (We shall fight in Fast Food on Campus, force hopes to “leave no stone unturned be an affirmative action task force. The the hills.) “I pledge that the University of as we explore ways to encourage diversity University is “beyond those who are for Michigan will continue that fight.” (We Explained; Coke within the boundries of the law.” and against Prop 2.” “Proposition 2 is shall never surrender.) Debate Makes a Serious questions remain, however. law and no one wants to be involved in Coleman’s defiance, however, was What has been unclear to many members Comeback of the student body is the exact process See ‘Blueprint,’ Page 3 See ‘Backlash,’ Page 3 P. 9 Dean Eklund Speaks on Prop 2; Bias By Michael O’Brien, ‘08 blindsided by the election, Eklund’s office has been preparing Opinion for the outcome of Prop 2 since an office retreat in May. hen President Mary Sue Coleman took to the “Given the traditional stance of many of our faculty and The Review’s ‘Blueprint’ WDiag the afternoon after Election Day, she appeared staff,” said Eklund, “we were particularly concerned that [their] for Diversity baffled and unprepared for the passage of the MCRI. Her silence would be seen as ‘backtracking.’” This led the Dean’s of- expressions of broad policy maneuvers to preserve “diversi- fice to set up the numerous—she estimates about forty—panels P. 4 ty” on campus have evoked criticism from many on campus, in the election lead-up to give faculty, staff, and students an out- and throughout the country, in the subsequent weeks to that let for discussion. speech. Dean Eklund’s office additionally produced an open, non- Columns by Michael The widespread reaction to Prop 2 has been policy-based. partisan gathering for students to watch election returns, and O’Brien and Brian Discussions of the MCRI’s aftermath have ostensibly focused was responsible for the numerous events, from suggestion fo- Biglin on how future generations of Michigan students will be admit- rums to poetry slams, in the week and a half following Prop 2’s ted. Seldom noticed is the election aftermath for current stu- passage. P. 5-6 dents. Eklund, hired as Dean of Students in 2004, supports af- Dean of Students Sue Eklund and her office have been firmative action and “diversity” like many in the administration. shepherding students through the political drama of the past But she is cognizant of the political implications that the word ArtsR & Culture month, an often-overlooked component of the Coleman ad- “diversity” has assumed on campus over the past few years. “I ministration’s comprehensive response to November 7’s after- don’t think that is the way the University intends to speak about Book Review: White Guilt math. diversity,” she said. “In college, ideas have to be tested in every While the policymakers in University administration ap- possible way, and P. 11 peared to many—of all political persuasions as having been diversity is needed See ‘Dean,’ Page 10 WWW.MICHIGANREVIEW.COM MR First two copies free, additional copies $3 each. Stealing is illegal and a sin. (Exodus 20:15) P. 2 Serpent’s 12.5.06 yesterday? Urban’s quarterback had Review Editor Assaulted even though we beat them by 26 points in In the hours leading up to a two yard pass intercepted and re- by Newsstand South Bend. I guess that’s what happens the BCS selection show, BCS when you’re coached by a guy who looks commissioner Mike Slive turned for a touchdown, and their ichigan Review Layout like he rolled out of bed hungover ten held a short conference call punter made the biggest play of the MEditor Amanda Nichols suf- minutes before the game, threw a sweat- with Florida Coach Urban game. Hell, they put in a 230 pound fered a concussion on Sunday night shirt and sweatpants on, and then pro- Meyer and Michigan Coach white quarterback to run the ball! after being assaulted by a Michigan Re- ceeded to run his team into the ground. Lloyd Carr. The Review view newsstand in East Hall. Nichols, has obtained an exclusive Meyer: Hey cut me some slack 20, was struck in the noggin late Sun- Congratulations to Florida Coach Ur- transcript of that call: Lloyd. I’m from Utah. I didn’t even day while attempting to dismantle a ban Meyer for whining his way into the know black people existed until about screwed-in newsstand. The injury is her BCS national championship game. Meyer Slive: Gentlemen, I’d first like to con- 2003. second such awkward injury suffered in proved once and for all that he’s like the recent years. gratulate you both on your outstand- kid in the class who gets a 95, but then ing seasons. Both of your football (Click…) “I once threw out my back while complains to the professor to raise the teams have been… doing the hokey pokey” said Nichols, grade to a 98, just so he can get an A+, Who’s that? Who just picked “I’m a mess.” even though there’s no change in his Lloyd: Nichols will continue to serve GPA. Meyer: WAHHH!!! They already took up the phone? as the Review’s Layout Editor while a turn!! It’s my turn!! They always hog chained to her desk in the office. Edi- NFL Defensive Tackle Warren Sapp re- the spotlight! I want to play! Mary Sue Coleman: We are Michi- tor-in-Chief Nick Cheolas has decided cently alleged that his food has been tam- gan, and we are diversity. to place Nichols on newsstand proba- pered with on road trips previously in his Carr: Florida coach, that was inap- tion for the foreseeable future. NFL career while playing for the Tampa propriate. Just tremendously inap- Lloyd: Mary Sue! Get off the line! “I think it’s pretty clear that Ms. Bay Buccaneers. He claims, however, that propriate. The adults are discussing football! Nichols has proven herself to be the he had not faced similar treatment while Dwight K. Schrute of our staff,” said playing for the Oakland Raiders, adding Slive: Urban, please. The decision is Mary Sue Coleman: Diveristy…di- Cheolas. “As Regional Manager, I can- “I guess they’re more liberal out here.” in the hands of the voters now. And versity…diversity…diverrrrrrrrrr not allow Nichols to be in a position For those of you keeping track at home, six computers. And our special BCS where she can harm herself, others, or please add “food poisoning” to “ways Ouija Board. Lloyd: Great. Now she’s frozen. our newsstands. Although she did take The Man keeps minorities and defensive Let’s continue while she reboots. out a Michigan Daily stand in the pro- tackles down.” cess.” Meyer: Well it’s a good thing I hooked Mike O’Brien will continue to serve A Colorado homeowners association re- up with Gary Danielson at halftime Meyer: Diversity…wasn’t that an as Assistant To the Editor-in-Chief. cently voted to ban a wreath in the shape of the Arkansas game. Did you see old, old wooden ship used in the Civil of a peace sign. Rumor has it that the that “Strength of Schedule” graphic War era? The Michigan Review salutes President conservatives wanted to ban the wreath he put up in the second half? We did Mary Sue Coleman on composing her because it was in the shape of a peace about a half ounce of blow and put Slive: Coach Meyer, Coach Carr, it’s first ever e-mail to students that did not sign, liberals wanted to ban the wreath that together in about five minutes. almost time to make our selection, so contain the word “diversity.” Coleman because it was an offensive Christmas I’ll have to let you go. Best of luck to achieved the feat while announcing her symbol, and libertarians wanted to roll up Carr: What’s blow? you both, gentlemen. sadness at the death of Michigan coach- the wreath and smoke it. ing legend Bo Schembechler, which coin- Lloyd: It’s been tremendous talking cidentally marks the first time Coleman Slive: Coach Carr, why do you think to you. Best of luck, Florida coach. A recent survey indicated that both Eng- your team is deserving of another has expressed sadness at the death of a lish and Scottish citizens want home rule, shot at the national title. Meyer: (Kills a kitten, eats a baby, rich white male. and would prefer to separate after 300 and pushes a child into oncoming years of unification, although Scots want A huge “thank you” to Notre Dame for to reserve the right to make 2am drunk Carr: Are you serious, Mike? Did traffic). You too, Larry. trying valiantly to screw up our season dials and 4am booty calls to England. you see that Florida-Arkansas game The Michigan Review The Journal of Campus Affairs at the University of Michigan ick heolas N C The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run Staff: Editor-in-Chief journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the The Michigan Review Andrew Barinov, Steven Bengal, University of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept 911 N. University Avenue, Suite One Maria Blood, David Brait, monetary donations from the University. Contribu- tions to The Michigan Review are tax-deductible under Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 Michael O’Brien Erin Buchko, Kelly Cavanaugh, section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Service Executive Editor Jenni Chelenyak, Rebecca Christy, Code. The Michigan Review is not affiliated with any po- [email protected] Tom Church, Jane Coaston, litical party or any university political group. Marie Cour, Lindsey Dodge, Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the edi- www.michiganreview.com Adam Paul Blake Emerson, Danny Harris, torial board. Ergo, they are unequivocally correct and Managing Editor Ian Kay, Eun Lee, Anna Malecke, just. Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent Copyright © 2006, The Michigan Review, Brian McNally, Miquelle Milavec, the opinions of the author, and not necessarily those of The Review. The Serpent’s Tooth shall represent Inc. All rights reserved. The Michigan John O’Brien, Eddie Perry, Danielle the opinion of individual, anonymous contributors Review is a member of the Collegiate Amanda Nichols Putnam, Shanda Shooter, to The Review, and should not necessarily be taken as representative of The Review’s editorial stance. The Network. Content Editor Jonny Slemrod, Evan Wladis, opinions expressed in this publication do not neces- Mary Wilcop, Christina Zajicek, sarily those of the advertisers, or of the University Assistant Editors: Zack Zucker of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and com- Brian Biglin, Karen Boore ments about the journal. Editor Emeritus Please address all advertising, subscription inquiries, Webmaster: James David Dickson and donations to “Publisher,” c/o The Michigan Review. Shawn Olender P. 3 Features 12.5.06 Debating Distribution Designed to expose students to a broad range of courses, distribution requirements struggle to balance student freedom with academic mandates By David Brait, ‘10 the first in his family to attend college, en- Terrorists: Representing the Middle East freedom with the University’s desire to ters the University hoping to get a degree in Hollywood Cinema and MUSICOL mandate certain courses has proved to be or many Michigan students, in Sociology in three years. Instead, he is 123- Introduction to Popular Music fulfill a difficult, if not an impossible task. The Fnavigating the maze of distribution stuck prodding away in foreign language the Humanities requirement. University is not wrong to ensure that requirements while scheduling is a bi-an- and natural science courses for a semester While the University has tried to students receive an excellent education, nual nightmare. In the name of provid- or two – and paying thousands of dollars maintain student flexibility in scheduling but Michigan has seemed to reach too ing students with a world-class educa- to do so. by offering a wide array of classes, they far in an attempt to provide a “diverse” tion, the University has erected a set of To be clear, the University has not have not yet allowed students to use rel- education. requirements that students must fulfill been blind to concerns about student evant high school AP credits to fulfill cer- With new requirements come new before graduation. freedom in course selection. Howev- tain distribution requirements, although class choices to balance University man- According to Esrold Nurse, the LSA er, this concern has conflicted with the these courses do count for general Uni- dates with student freedom. This, in Assistant Dean of Student Academic Af- University’s desire to expose students to a versity credit. The reasoning behind this turn, leads to students skirting the re- fairs, these requirements allow students broad curriculum. Rather than force par- decision is that “AP courses are not rep- quirements, taking whichever courses to “explore several different modes of ticular courses on its students, students resentative of Michigan equivalents,” as sound “easy,” and taking them pass/fail, thinking and inquiry.” By exposing stu- may choose from a wide array of courses Nurse explains. in an attempt to fulfill requirements with dents to classes that go beyond their that fall under general headings such as Furthermore, many courses that as little effort as possible. This certainly major curriculum, Nurse explains, these Natural Science, Humanities, or Foreign students feel should fulfill a particular re- is not what the University intended, but requirements ensure a diversified educa- Language. quirement are not listed as fulfilling that it is the reality for many students when it tional experience for Michigan students. While this setup has given students requirement. For a course to be consid- comes to course selection. This “diverse” educational experi- greater flexibility in course selection, it ered as a distribution requirement-fulfill- Caught in the middle of the Univer- ence remains a noble goal, but the re- has hurt the ability of the University to ing course, a request needs to be submit- sity’s mandated curricular diversity are quirements are beginning to seem more ensure that students gain a foundation in ted by a faculty member for review in disadvantaged students who simply want like a burden to many Michigan students. multiple disciplines. For example, AN- front of the LSA committee. This leads to get a degree as quickly as possible. Se- While the University of Michigan prides THROBIO 362 - Problems of Race and to many courses not being listed for re- niors majoring in Psychology are stuck itself on providing an affordable educa- BIO 118 – Aids and other Health Crises quirements which they fit under, and stu- with second semester schedules that in- tion to all students, regardless of race, fulfill the Natural Science requirement. dents not getting distribution credits for clude History of Witchcraft and Gender gender or socioeconomic status, one WOMENSTD 308 - Law and Politics of courses which they should. The Asian Roles in 18th Century India. struggles to reconcile the University’s Sexuality, AMCULT 208- Post World War Studies department provides the best The University’s distribution recruit- stated commitment to socioeconomically II American Sub Cultural Movements: example; none its courses fulfill the race ments are well-intentioned. But the Uni- disadvantaged students with the Univer- Beatniks, Hippies and Punks, WOMEN- and ethnicity requirement. versity would be wise to review the ef- sity’s desire to expose students to more STD 357- Feminist Practices in a Global The primary problem with the distri- fectiveness of its policies, lest they harm than their concentration. Context fulfill the Social Science require- bution requirement system at the Univer- the very students they were intended to For example, a working-class student, ment. AMCULT 235- From Harems to sity of Michigan is that balancing student benefit. MR

‘Backlash,’ From Page 1 letter that the “implication is that you its mission, would severely limit U-M’s President Coleman will soon have not as well received as she may have [Mary Sue] and U-M know what is best ability to attract, support and maintain a a list from which to choose the people hoped. Even in the liberal, anti-Prop 2 for the entire state. Getting your corps diverse student body and academic com- who make up this task force, and the basion of Ann Arbor, support has been of lawyers, paid for with public funds, to munity, and is harmful to U-M’s students first meeting of this committee may be hard to come by. overthrow the will of the state’s voters and alumni and society.” The Alumni before the holiday break. At that time, While legal action has still not been speaks to the arrogance that’s often as- Association offered no comment on people are encouraged to vocalize their ruled out, rising grassroots sentiment sociated with U-M.” whether it would support legal action by opinions. throughout Michigan has made it clear Julie Peterson, the University’s Vice the University. Even now, the administration is still that the University is not likely to enjoy as President of Communications, could not It seems as if President Coleman’s receiving and reviewing nominations to much support as it did during the Gratz v. be reached for comment. However, the November 8th speech was a great mis- the task force and suggestions regarding Bollinger legal battle. Despite this, in Ann office produced a letter by Sullivan, who calculation. Her defiant message has not the proper solution. Arbor, a city where many of the residents indicated that legal action might still be been followed by defiant actions, and has After the passage of Proposal 2, the are UM graduates, many Letters to the undertaken and that “we have a great deal instead been met with staunch opposition Diversity Blueprints task force was com- Editor of the Ann Arbor News in the past more work to do before we are ready to from Michigan voters, even in the most missioned to save the fabric of diversity two weeks have expressed a desire for announce our next steps. We continue unlikely of locations. MR as seen today on this campus. Some fear that without the old preference system President Coleman to follow the will of to have serious concerns about equity in ‘Blueprint,’ From Page 3 the voters of Michigan. admitting this year’s class. But we have in admissions certain groups will not be anything unlawful.” The University is On November 19th, in a “Focus: not made any final decisions about how able to compete for top positions in this not looking for people who were for or Proposal 2” section of the letters, six of to address those concerns, and anything highly competitive university. Having a against the proposal because that is no the seven letters printed either supported that implies otherwise is incorrect.” diverse and interesting student body is longer the question; the question is how the ideals of Proposal 2, or admonished Catherine Niekro, the Vice President an important goal, but the people have to preserve diversity. Other criteria are the University for fighting the will of the of Marketing and Communications for spoken, and this cannot be done through used for selection to this committee such people. Among letters printed on the fol- the Alumni Association, said that they affirmative action. as continuing activity in student groups lowing days, 3 of 4 admonished the Uni- are communicating to Alumni through Whatever solutions this task force like MSA, and leadership in Mary Sue versity, while the fourth was written by the e-newsletter, informing them of the decides on, this university contains many Coleman’s administration. faculty member John Hagen, who stated new Diversity Blueprint taskforce, and qualified people of all races, gender, and The Diversity Blueprints program is that diversity has proven to be valuable encouraging them to send in suggestions. ethnic background; diversity will survive also meant to be open to the suggestions at UM. The Alumni Association released a state- in this post-affirmative action Michigan. of the public, so other students can voice A letter-writer from Saline voiced ment prior to the election, which stated MR their ideas on how to ensure diversity the sentiment of much of the opposition that this “initiative significantly threatens without using affirmative action. when he declared in a November 19th the Alumni Association’s ability to fulfill P. 4 Editorials 12.5.06 The Michigan Review he Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and Our Blueprint for Tlibertarian opinion at the University of Michigan. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the Editorial Board. Ergo, they are unequivocally correct and just. Diversity on Campus Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author, and not The newly-announced “Diversity Blueprints” task force is a step necessarily those of the Review. You can contact the Editorial Board at: in the right direction for the administration, who seems to have [email protected] decided that it is time to move forward in the post-preference area. ■ From Suite One: Here are some suggestions to keep Michigan among the leaders and best.

Does the Administration ust before the Thanksgiving holiday, the University asked students via e-mail Jto submit suggestions to a “Diversity Blueprint.” The University promises to take Place Students First? this student feedback into consideration when deciding which policies to pursue in The University has a reputation for looking out for its students. But the wake of Proposal 2. We at the Review have several suggestions that we intend to submit and want to share them with our readers. has that reputation waned in recent years. A number of factors We all can agree that diversity is a positive aspect of the college experience. If indicate that the ‘U’ may not be all about you. the University wants to find a fairer way to incorporate many levels of diversity on campus, why not utilize more socioeconomic methods of capturing diversity? Unlike he University of Michigan has derived much of its reputation from its the completely subjective methods from the pre-Prop. 2 days, the University may look Tconsideration for the welfare of its students. Presidents have consistently boasted to the examples of Florida and Texas, both of which have found concrete methods over the university’s position as “the ivy of the public schools.” That this was the first to maintain racial diversity through a defined percentage plan. These programs shift university to accept a black man into its law school, among other historical facts, bol- the focus from racial balancing to leveling the field for low-income students in failing sters the image of the university as a groundbreaking public school. districts. Yet, at the same time, these programs will inevitably help not only the over- As time has passed, however, more and more undergraduates begin to realize that achieving black students stuck in an awful situation, but also the white student from a the University does not function for their benefit. Michigan now functions as a politi- one room rural schoolhouse. cal engine of its President and faculty, and seemingly reflects their initiatives more than Obviously, Michigan is neither Florida nor Texas, and implementing this change the welfare of the students. would require an overhaul of the current statewide admissions process. The Universi- Often enough, this disregard for the students is reflected by mildly trivial occur- ty and state would both have to intensely research the Florida and Texas plans and tai- rences that sum to benign neglect. The Michigan Union, for example, is advertised as lor them toward the state of Michigan. The most important result of examining other a place for the students, of the students. Unfortunately, it functions as a place for the states’ experiences is to force the University to look outside of itself. In doing this, we university, and its budget. Many a student group has discovered to its dismay that they hope that the University ceases to portray itself as a victim whose lifework—creating may not hold a meeting in the building with food, unless the food is provided at an a racially balanced utopia—has come under attack from the voters. exorbitant price by union caterers. This has discouraged many groups from holding Another option, which the University will likely pursue, is to add new questions events between these allegedly public walls. and factors into the undergraduate application. For instance, applications to the Uni- Furthermore, there have been a series of break-ins and assaults across campus, versity of California schools ask questions regarding socioeconomic disadvantage that usually targeting undergraduate women. There was an unidentified man breaking into are far more accurate in detecting actual disadvantage. These questions probe into the sororities, and a series of break-ins and thefts around the Hill area. This is not to men- circumstances in which students were raised. By expanding the scope of the applica- tion a number of attacks against female runners that the Ann Arbor News has reported, tion, it could also provide disadvantaged students with an opportunity to shift their but the University did not feel compelled to inform its students about. personal statement onto different experiences. Another significant issue created and then consistently ignored by the University The University should also restructure its outreach programs. A vast number of is the distribution requirements for undergraduate students. Often to “complete” their the University’s minority students come from a surprisingly small number of locations, education, students find they have to enroll into a series of classes such as “The His- such as Detroit’s Cass Technical High School. One way to do this would be to use high tory of Witchcraft” or “Sex on the Beach: a study of Polynesian sexual cultures and school counselors as intermediaries between the University and high school seniors. mores.” These unnecessary requirements drain student funds, and warp educational Rather than attempting to convince individual students to apply, whole high schools emphases into what the University desires, not what would truly reflect a well-rounded should be motivated to encourage students to attend. education. Furthermore, an engineering student, who got into the University partly Furthermore, the University should expand its efforts at outreach in conjunction because of his extracurricular brilliance at the flute, will find his way to taking a single with student groups on campus. In a cash-strapped state and at a university where music course barred by miles of red tape. This demonstrates just one, comparatively student services are already spread thin, entrusting the middle and high school out- smaller, element of the lack of consideration for students and their wishes. reach programs to minority student groups and community service organizations is a The subject reached a boiling point with the aftermath of the November 7 elec- win-win for all involved. tion, which determined that affirmative action, as the University knows it, would no First, the University can focus its efforts on currently enrolled students, and im- longer be legal within the state of Michigan. True, many current students and com- prove life on campus. After all, how much of the University’s time and money is spent munity members supported the “No on 2” movement. However, a large constituency, on outreach programs when the administration could—and should—be focusing that represented by current and former students, voted for the proposition, reflecting a work on making UM a better place for those students who have already earned admis- state-wide decision against the actions at U-M. sion? Not only did President Coleman decide to ignore the consequence of this deci- Second, through this reassignment of duties, minority student groups will be sion, but she actively sought to overturn the decision legally to continue her political given a worthwhile, lasting charge to fulfill, and a project through which they can aims at the University. Regardless of the president’s opinion about affirmative action, see concrete results. Often, campus groups of all kinds find their work stifled here the state of Michigan decided against it. Her stubborn opposition sparked some alum- because of general apathy, but by reaching out to communities that are looking for ni backlashMR of its own, as dozens of letters poured into local newspapers, condemning ways to improve their lives and futures, student organizations can make a difference the position of the University of Michigan on this point. The effect of this backlash for those who actually need it. was evident in President Coleman’s subsequent “Diversity Blueprints” e-mail, offering Finally, and most obviously, the underprivileged students would benefit from this a far less militant tone than her November 8th speech. interaction, not only because they will see the possibilities their future holds, but also Despite loud and boisterous claims regarding the importance of diversity, the because they will gain college-aged role models and mentors for their educational University of Michigan cannot truly claim diversity when it drowns out diverse views journey. After all, students are more apt to listen to their peers than members of a with the one voice of its faculty and President. The University should remember that university administration several decades their senior. it is the students who make this institution great, and therefore give them the attention The University should not shy away from experimenting with a number of op- they deserve. MR tions simultaneously. Rather than try to find the panacea for its diversity concerns, maybe it is time to diversify our approach. MR P. 5 Columns 12.5.06 ■ The Deep End Glenn and Mary here is a battle that has been rag- spect from everyone who came into con- of his subordinates announced right be- assumes that there’s something left about Ting on campus the past few years, tact with him, leaving lasting impressions fore leading his men into battle that he Michigan that’s worth fighting for. And though it might not be one of the ones on every single one of them. But more would be heading westward the following that ambivalence among students is at an that comes to mind for you. than anything, he emphasized tradition fall, Glenn fired him without a second ebb is in no small part due to President This battle is a bit more subtle, but is and honor. These, he thought, were what thought, saying that a “Michigan Man” Mary Sue Coleman and her cohorts over more vital to students, faculty, and all oth- made Michigan truly great. would be the only man to lead a group of the past few years. After successfully po- ers in the university community than any Now Mary may be unassuming, but Michigan Men. liticizing student life, she’s been alienating other skirmish in recent campus memory. as Glenn started receding from campus Glenn understood the importance any student who dares question the pre- This fight is over the soul of a university; life more and more, Mary and her ilk of “The Victors,” and understood that it vailing mindset she and her friends advo- over exactly what it means to be a Michi- came into greater prominence on campus. is a proud tradition not only as a sports cate. It is, of course, painfully ironic that gan man. Mary made herself and her university the anthem, but as an exhortation to all who a university president claiming the need One camp is led by a woman named poster child for what “diversity” means sung the song: that they, themselves, for diversity and community would alien- Mary. She is a on the modern college campus. She even would strive to be the leaders and the best. ate so many students in her pursuit of biochemist from played her part as a staunch politico, with It was why he stressed being a “Michigan those ideals. Now that the era of Glenn Kentucky who a starring role in Mrs. Coleman Goes to Man:” a man of class and integrity who is over, the Mary may start to prevail in a spent some time Washington only a few years ago. strives at all times to be a ‘victor,’ and why new era of influence. in Iowa before Mary came to Michigan not even five so many whose lives he even marginally Bo may have been out as coach for making her cru- years ago, but her impact can be seen ev- touched went on to become Michigan some time now, but he was the last true, sade in Michi- erywhere. Mary has made a lot of friends, Men (or Women). public bastion of tradition on this cam- gan. Mary is a and now those friends are in high plac- Mary is a bit more broad-sighted. pus. And that, I think, was something petite, soft-spo- es. Sue, Marvin, Julie, and Royster have She’s less focused on the traditions that important to a good number of students. ken woman, with all joined Mary in her quest to redefine motivate the students and alumni of And it was fitting that Bo’s domain was the demeanor what it means to be a Michigan student. Michigan to be faithful to their alma ma- sports, particularly football, where the of a sweet, but Michael They’ve helped Mary considerably, using ter. She will, though, co-opt the terms of traditions and sense of community are so stubborn grand- pronounced. O’Brien mother. You It’s quite pointed that students often might be quick Bo symbolized the rich traditions that drew so many of us chant, “It’s great! To be! A Mich-i-gan to buy into the pre-packaging if it weren’t to Michigan. Tradition is what drove so many of our parents to Wolv-er-ine!” ad infinitum when leav- for the savvy and smooth talking she’s brainwash us to come to Michigan. It’s “The Victors” on Sat- ing sporting events, on their way back to been known to employ. She wears her urday afternoons and the Brown Jug on Friday nights. It’s the campus. They’re leaving an event where enlightenment on her sleeve as a badge tradition and community are well-defined. of honor, never letting an opportunity shared experience, and the values that bind us together—all to prove her commitment to progressive 25,000 of us—into some sort of community. ideals pass her by. The other camp was led, until re- their power to put into effect dozens of these traditions to serve her own purpos- cently, by a man named Glenn. By all programs and policies that make sure stu- es. When Mary talks about “the leaders accounts, he was as tenacious of a man dents understand the official position of and the best,” she’s almost always talking as there could ever be, with plenty of what it means to be a Michigan Wolver- about it in the context of “diversity.” To opinions to share. Stout and portly, many ine. And if you don’t buy that, well then Mary, Michigan isn’t a school of tradi- might not have expected the kind of fire they’re going to sure as hell try to make life tions. Ours isn’t a campus where the past here uncomfortable for you. Mary is revered, honored, and incorporated as summed it up well a few weeks ago, much as possible into daily life. The wis- when, on a stroll through the Diag, dom of our forefathers was theirs alone. she made it clear, “We are Michi- Mary’s Michigan is one that pushes the gan, and we are diversity.” envelope further, provided that it’s in her Glenn was a bit different than direction, to forget the past and embrace that. He certainly might have con- all that’s new and enlightened, for the curred that the diversity of campus sake of it. has some positive aspects, but not But now that Glenn Edward “Bo” that it defines us. Rather, Glenn Schembechler has passed away, an era understood that it was the tradi- may well have ended. Bo symbolized the Mary Sue: The quintessential diversity tions of Michigan that managed to rich traditions that drew so many of us woman bind together such a, yes, diverse to Michigan. Tradition is what drove so Sports on campus, which Bo represented, crowd—not only on Saturdays, but many of our parents to brainwash us to are in a sphere where what it means to in life. Glenn understood that these come to Michigan. It’s “The Victors” on be a Michigan Wolverine is somehow not traditions made up the spirit of Saturday afternoons and the Brown Jug only grasped, but it is celebrated. But as Michigan, and that was something on Friday nights. It’s the shared experi- students leave these events, they return to worth fighting for; it was - some ence, and the values that bind us togeth- campus, where Mary reigns. It is where thing that deserved respect and er—all 25,000 of us—into some sort of the traditions and meanings of Michigan undying fidelity. It was why Glenn community. Bo understood that. Indeed, are under assault, largely due to Mary. led, foremost, by example. It was it’s no shock he was a member of the And more than ever, she appears unen- why, when offered millions of dol- often-maligned group Michigamua. The cumbered in her increased encroach- lars to head westward, he turned it group’s motto instructs its members to, ment. Bo: The quintessential Michigan man down, saying that some things in “Fight like hell for Michigan.” A group Fight like hell for Michigan, indeed. in the belly Glenn was capable of so of- life are more important and meaningful, counting Bo as a member would have no But after Mary’s finished, will we even ten. He might have been rough around and one of those things was the Univer- less of a standard. recognize what the hell it is we’ve been the edges at times, but he commanded re- sity of Michigan. It was why, when one But to “fight like hell for Michigan” fighting for? MR P. 6 Opinion 12.5.06 ■ Big Talk Peace and Pessimism: Why Mideast Solution Needs a Miracle sually, hearing about plans to create legions, all serve as illustrations of that fact. telling us how nice things would be if our government Upeace, especially in a place such as Israel, makes The latter was one idea on which I agreed with intervened on Palestine’s behalf, that we would be loved one hopeful and optimistic. Sadly, my optimism disap- Safieh. After committing the length of his regular speech and adored by the world, rather than hated and feared. peared after I heard the Palestinian representative to the to disparaging the entire history of Israel, Safieh, after an These statements—targeted perfectly to the largely re- US, Afif Safieh, deliver a speech meant to outline solu- audience question, correctly pointed out that terrorism ceptive crowd—make clear that the Palestinians, and tions for a lasting peace between Israel and Palestine. should be abandoned and that a series of non-violent most of their anti-Israel friends worldwide, believe that More than likely, this is because the speech was demonstrations should instead be utilized. One of the the United States’ support for Israel is the chief prob- hardly about creating peace Arabs’ goals, said Safieh, is to achieve a right of return lem in the world, and that we would have peace by giv- and rather about indicting Is- for all the recently-displaced refugees; this certainly is ing in to the Palestinians, regardless of whether they use rael and the western world for not irrational. What was irrational was Safieh’s ‘territory peaceful protest or terrorism. the ‘oppression’ which began for peace’ statement, which said that the Palestinians will This is the ultimate carrot-on-the-stick approach to somewhere in the early 20th not acknowledge the state of Israel until that state hands diplomacy, and it is unacceptable. It is one thing for the century with modern Zionism over the 1967 contested territories, along with an apol- US to become a fair arbiter in the Middle East, in hold- and the British Mandate. More ogy, to the Arabs. ing Israel accountable for their role in creating peace, than likely, it was because This is perhaps the greatest obstacle to the peace and in creating appropriate boundaries for a Palestinian Safieh--who is nonetheless process, other than the terrorists themselves. The idea state—all things that are reasonable. It is wholly differ- a good speaker and interest- that one faction cannot acknowledge the other’s right to ent to approach the situation trying to achieve a certain ing man with some potential exist is unacceptable and does not bode well for starting outcome, fair or not, just so that we will not have to as a diplomat--does not have any peaceful talks. Israel is legitimate, no matter what worry about terrorist attacks and anti-Americanism in official recognition from the kinds of issues the Palestinians take with regards to how the Middle East anymore. rian US government. He is not an B it came to be. But, of course, millions of people, even in America, ambassador, which means he Biglin There is also a human element. If either side can and definitely some in that auditorium, would nod and readily gets to speak as if it recognize each others’ equality as humans, then perhaps say yes to Safieh’s suggestion. If moral equivocation were off the record. the bloodshed can stop. It was the dehumanization of yields peace, and if the Jews and their state are expend- The perceptive envoy probably also remembered the Jews which led the Nazis to have no qualms about able in our pursuit of new friends around the world, that he was speaking in Ann Arbor, at the University of exterminating all Jews during the Holocaust. This is how then I guess coming to that conclusion is easy. Yet things Michigan, and no matter how large the Jewish commu- most genocidal mindsets work, and how most terrorist are more complicated than this, and a fair arrangement nity may be here, the ranks of militantly anti-Israel liber- extremists think as well. The Palestinians could go far by in Israel-Palestine has no guarantees of making America als are always larger. The nods of approval seen when not characterizing the Jews as infidels with bloodthirsty more well-liked. Safieh told the congregation that the current Israeli machines running their government. In the end, having come to these rather pessimistic government is set on ethnic cleansing, and the effusive Finally, and most disturbingly, I must mention the conclusions after hearing the envoy’s speech, one thing compliments from hippie-type, career-countercultural- tactic used by Safieh in his final appeal to the US and is for sure: the Holy Land, that crossroads of religious ists after Safieh mused about the possibility of a peace- world community to help the Palestinians achieve an in- history, should be on our minds during this holiday sea- ful uprising of Palestinians against the mighty Jewish dependent state. He appealed directly to the audience, son. It is in need of everyone’s prayers. MR The Legacy of Milton Friedman By Lindsey Dodge, ‘10 He argued for a more simplified monetary policy, whose cornerstone of the historical understanding of that sole goal was long-term stable growth rates. This idea event. Other books were “Capitalism and Freedom” and ilton Friedman, champion of econom- has impacted recent Fed policy, especially its commit- “Free to Choose,” which were accessible to not only his Mic choice and free markets, died on November 16, ment to steady and announced change in interest rates. fellow colleagues but the average Joe as well. This was 2006. With his passing concludes a highly influential life, Friedman’s major literary contribution was “A His- perhaps what ensured his influence; Friedman related to both in his development of macro-economic theory as tory of the United States, 1867-1960.” He invented his scientific colleagues and those not majoring in eco- well as politics. Highly credited in the development of nomics with equal ease. “Reaganomics,” he won the Nobel Prize in 1976 for his Friedman spent the majority of his life as Profes- contribution to monetary theory. sor of Economics at the University of Chicago, and was Although not as famous as John Maynard Keynes, also a member of the Hoover Institution at Stanford. Friedman was arguably the most influential economist The Rose and Milton Friedman Senior Fellowship, cur- of the 20th century. He challenged the Phillip’s Curve, rently held by Thomas Sowell, establishes his memory which argued that the economy faced a trade-off be- at the Hoover Institution. Although chiefly concerned tween rates of inflation and rates of unemployment. with monetary theory, he was also a popular proponent Friedman believed that even a high rate of inflation of school vouchers and the privatization of education. would not reduce unemployment if inflationary policies He used his economic background and understanding to became so common as to be expected. The “stagflation” spearhead the movement. of the 1970s undeniably promoted his theory, and poli- Friedman was not alone in his studies and research. ticians began to incorporate this new development in His wife Rose D. Friedman, an economist herself, as- their economic policies. sisted him and co-wrote much of his work. Their intel- Friedman also envisioned the permanent income lectual partnership is memorialized by the Milton and hypothesis. He argued that people base consumption on Rose D. Friedman Foundation for Educational Choice. expectations of “permanent income” over a very long Their ideas were adopted in part by the Nixon, Ford, time frame. According to this idea, fluctuations in yearly and Reagan administrations, and their life-long romance income have only a small effect on consumption pat- brought them much media attention. terns. Friedman’s economic thinking defined a Through his influence on political economics, edu- It was also Friedman who coined the terms “obser- generation cation, and monetary research within the scientific com- vation-lag,” “decision-lag,” and “effect-lag.” This com- many ingenious studies in the field of economics, and munity, Friedman’s contributions enshrine him as one menced a still relevant discussion about the correct tim- his study of governmental economic policies in 1929 of the most influential figures in economics, not only of ing for stabilization measures during a “business cycle.” and their adverse effect on the Great Depression is a the 20th century, but in American history. MR P. 7 Drinking News 12.5.06 With new laws, large grants, and tougher enforcement, Michigan and Ohio counties renew the war on underage drinking Bootlegging for the 21st Century “Party Patrol,” $50,000 Grant Launches Assault on House Parties Ohio troopers step up enforce- to stop underage drinking, officials may By Rebecca Christy, ‘08 murder, suicide and almost everything ment to combat interstate alco- have some reason for choosing it. In an that is negative and harmful for young hol transportation interview, University of Toledo student eminiscing about her high people.” Marc Resnick, noted that he “guesses it Rschool antics, junior Cara Mozola Unfortunately, underage drinking is By Adam Paul, ‘08 would be tougher to get [a keg] in Ohio” tells a story about a party the police had not the number one killer of children un- than in Michigan. Since none of the li- busted in her hometown of Williamston, der 21. Drunk driving, however, is a lead- rafficking across the quor stores in Toledo sell kegs, Resnick Michigan. When the kids knew the two ing killer of children under 21. MADD’s TMichigan-Ohio border is nothing “would drive the extra ten minutes if it police officers were coming in the house confusion has drawn criticism in recent new. Michiganders have been bringing was worth it.” He also claimed that there everyone tried to find the best hiding years, even from its founder, Candy fireworks, many of which are illegal in is a perception that liquor prices are spot. The only student not fined with an Lightner. Michigan, in from their southern neigh- slightly lower in Michigan. Brent Beck- MIP was a girl who opened an umbrella “[MADD has] become far more neo- bor for years. Yet in recent weeks, it has ham, who attends Miami University, near and crouched behind it. Apparently cre- prohibitionist than I had ever wanted or been Ohio residents facing punishment the state’s Kentucky and Indiana borders, ativity is on your side when outsmarting envisioned...I didn’t start MADD to deal said he would have agreed the police. More likely it’s the fact that with alcohol. I started MADD to deal with Resnick “up until about usually there are only one or two officers with the issue of drunk driving.” three months ago,” when a to deal with 30-40 patrons. Regardless, Compton explained the local liquor store began a keg Those days could be a distant mem- necessity of the program and current ordering service. ory for high school students in Oakland problems which exist for local police: Despite any possible County. A state grant of $50,000 will al- “There is a shortage of police officers. success in reducing underage low local police departments to begin the The beauty of the Party Patrol is that drinking, the policy has been Party Patrol. It will consist of two teams currently many officers have other priori- terminated in Ohio. Toledo of ten police officers who will work over- ties and are not on the lookout for under- Municipal Court Judge Gene time on the weekends to bust underage age drinking parties. Party Patrol will be Zmuda ruled against the law drinking parties in a dedicated force in a recent case. According Troy, Novi, Royal “[MADD has] become far specifically look- to the Toledo Blade, Zmuda Oak and Farm- ing for these par- found the law “constitution- ington Hills over more neo-prohibitionist than ties. Secondly, al on its face” but held that the next year. Stu- I had ever wanted or envi- many officers its current application erects dents suspected sioned...I didn’t start MADD are not familiar an “impermissible burden of drinking will be to deal with alcohol. I start- with how exactly on interstate commerce.” given breathalyz- ed MADD to deal with the is- to process these While Article I, section 8 of ers and if guilty situations.” the US Consitution contains will be ticketed. sue of drunk driving” One par- Ohio residents would be wise to avoid the bottle when traversing state lines this holiday season the commerce clause, that In an econom- ticular processing allows the federal govern- ically depressed -MADD founder Candy Lightner in aspect is the Con- ment to regulate commerce state, and in a the Washington Times in 2002 trolled Dispersal for transporting goods across the border. “among the several states,” the power crime-ridden re- Program which They are charged with “illegally trans- of the individual states to regulate com- gion, the $50,000 is an operational porting alcohol or possessing illegally merce has traditionally been a point of grant has drawn some criticism. Howev- plan used to safely and efficiently close transported alcohol,” a good which is it- controversy. er, the $50,000 is actually allocated from down a party. Not only will the funds self legal in Ohio. Beckham expressed some concern federal government money earmarked provide for the overtime pay of officers, According to a recent story by Robin over interpretations of the law that for specifically this type of program. The but will also pay for materials needed to Erb of the Toledo Blade, Ohio has official- place the interstate transportation of al- grant was offered through the Office of train officers in the operational plan, as ly had a law restricting the importation of cohol under the commerce clause, ask- Highway Safety Planning, and the Oak- well as perform compliance checks on lo- alcohol from Michigan for years. The new ing “Wouldn’t that make a lot of people land County chapter of Mother’s Against cal stores using decoys to make sure indi- focus on enforcing the law comes from bootleggers? That’s a term we haven’t Drunk Driving (MADD) was influential viduals are properly carded. police agencies surrounding the Univer- heard in years.” in informing the Oakland County area The effectiveness of the Party Patrol sity of Toledo. Using the law, the Toledo, Since Zmuda is a local judge, the police departments about the availability remains to be seen. Previous crackdowns Ohio Department of Public Safety of- city could appeal to a higher state court. of the funds. on underage drinking have been futuile fice attempted to decrease the number It is yet unclear if the Ohio will seek to The baby boom generation is con- and ineffective at best. Here’s to hop- of kegs that were “headed to underage salvage the law, although due to the large stantly scorned for its apparent lack in ing Will the Party Patrol be effective? As drinkers.” Over the course of October amount of time and money required to discipline when it comes to underage a college student, it is easy to forget the 5-6, the weekend of University of Tole- do so, it looks unlikely that they will at- drinking, while college students are im- difficulties which already arise for under- do’s homecoming football game, officials tempt. This means that Ohio police now bedded in a culture which romanticizes age drinkers in the suburban landscape. made 15 arrests under the law. The crime have one fewer means at their disposal to drinking. Michele Compton of Oakland underage drinkers have resorted to more qualifies as a first degree misdemeanor tackle the problem of underage drinking. County MADD noted that, “Underage laidback drinking environments while at and is punishable by up to six months in Yet since this particular tool could only drinking has been trivialized and mini- home with only a few friends. Regardless, jail and a $1,000 fine. The increased en- be used in isolated locations, it may prove mized for too long. It is the number one there are enough kids willing to take the forcement of the statue functioned as a to be a minor loss for law enforcement. killer of children under 21. It needs to be risk to keep the Party Patrol busy. MR part of Toledo’s “Binge Drinking Opera- As Beckham reacted to the recent ruling, a very high priority. Not only is drinking tion 2006.” “I do not think it will effect underage dangerous on roadways, it is the major While the tactic seems round-about drinking either way.” MR cause of many unwanted pregnancies, P. 8 News 12.5.06 Amid Condemnation of Israel, Palestinian Envoy Calls for Two-State Peace By Brian Biglin, ‘08 mal creation of Israel after the genocide Late in his speech, Safieh began to across the region, and to receive an apol- of World War II. The conditions among address the topic of the lecture, which ogy from Israel for the decades of op- n front of a diverse, largely recep- Palestinians are terrible, says Safieh, with was about solutions for peace between pression. In this case, they will recognize Itive crowd in the Modern Languages 70 percent living in poverty. Just as ag- the Israelis and Palestinians. After saying the legitimacy of the State of Israel and Building, Afif Safieh, the current Pales- gravating to Safieh is the fact that Israel is that he believes that the Palestinians are co-exist in a two-state system. He boiled tinian Liberation Organization (PLO) the same as it was at its inception, when it on the verge of having a functioning rep- his argument down to “territory [in ex- representative in the US, spoke on No- denied the Arabs their physical existence, resentative, constitutionalist government, change] for peace.” vember 15th about current relations with their rights, and their statehood, as he put and stressing that a third party interna- A nonviolent movement on the part Israel and his hopes for a future peace. it. tional entity (with the US at the forefront) of the Palestinians is the most useful Safieh was born in Jerusalem in 1950 When the well-spoken, persuasive, needs to get involved to mediate with Is- means in working for this, Safieh said, and his experience includes a stint in Yas- and at times humorous Safieh stated that rael, Safieh fell back into acrimony at the because no one can stand up to Israel ser Arafat’s government in the 1970s, a recent Israeli governments have been “set end. In his view, the Israeli strategy of in a violent struggle, and because in that stay at Harvard University as a visiting on ethnic cleansing,” he drew exasper- trying to capture as much of “our” ter- case all Palestinians, women and children scholar, 15 years as PLO ambassador to ated groans from some in the crowd and ritory as possible is the same as it was in included, could be involved in the dem- the United Kingdom, and now a year as nods of approval from others, one had to 1948. onstrations. Help from non-government PLO ambassador to Washington, D.C. conclude that the “unofficial” nature of His speech ended with an interesting organizations and the UN would be key. After conveying his love for America Safieh’s mission in America allows him to appeal. He asked America to “help us,” The goal is a win-win situation, not one and democratic values, which he says the speak with such indignation about Israel. and to “adopt a foreign policy that will where there is always as loser, as Safieh Palestinians share, and explaining that Safieh spoke about the recent sum- make America loved and respected rather characterized Israel’s current goal. he sees a window for peace negotiations mer spent in Washington, as war broke than hated and feared.” Whether or not In the end, Safieh proved an intrigu- currently opening, Safieh launched into a out between Israel and Lebanon, and as he was advocating appeasement for na- ing speaker, and he kept the tone in the historical-based condemnation of Israel. Hamas gained new power through the tions that harbor terrorists that threaten auditorium civil. His speech, for all of its He said that he wished the British Man- Palestinian elections. He said that the the US was unclear. controversy, was an explanation of the date, set into motion by the post-World “absence of a peace process” led to the Safieh was promptly asked to give PLO platform, and carried much weight. War I Balfour Declaration and led to the controversial Hamas victories. Regarding details about what he sees as the keys to Ann Arbor, with its many liberal, eventual resettlement of Palestine by the the outbreak of terrorism and war, Safieh peace from the Palestinian standpoint pro-Palestine residents and students rub- Jewish people, had never happened. From spoke about how the media portrays during the question and answer seg- bing shoulders everyday with one of the the start of the modern movement of the the violence, and how American lead- ment. He endorsed a two-state solution, Midwest’s largest Jewish populations, in Jews back to the region, outside nations ers are quick to condemn terrorism, but orchestrated by the global community, the midst of an academic powerhouse, have not dealt with the Arabs evenhand- not Israeli force. Using past incursions with the United Nations and US as the seems to be the ideal place to bring this edly, Safieh said. of the Israelis into Gaza as an example, architects. The goal for the Palestinians debate, which will hopefully continue in “We are the victims of the victims Safieh proclaimed that those who refuse is to reclaim 67 contested territories a constructive manner here and abroad. of European history, and have paid a to equate such incursions with suicide (which, says Safieh, is only 22 percent of MR high price for crimes committed else- bombings are not morally qualified to what they believe is legitimately theirs), to where,” said Safieh, referencing the for- speak on Israeli-Palestinian relations. have a right-to-return for refugees spread Pro-Israel Speaker Sparks Small-Scale Riots By Jonny Slemrod, ‘10 president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s current reign, call- While Iran may be a international menace on the ing it an “Iranian fascist regime.” The bottom line of brink of achieving nuclear weapons, the United States is hen Raymond Tanter, former staff Tanter’s speech was his belief that Islamic ideology, as certainly at fault for a large portion of the current-day Wmember of the National Security Council and reflected in the current Iranian government, is that of turbulence in the Middle East, remarked Tanter. He at- current Georgetown University Professor of Political regional hegemony and wishes to “control the neighbor- tributes the United States occupation of Iraq with the Science came to campus Thursday night to speak con- hood,” meaning of course, the Middle East. creation of four sub-wars: Al-Qaeda vs. everyone, the cerning contemporary Iranian-U.S. relations, the Ann According to Tanter, modern-day Iran is “more of a Sunnis vs. the Shi’ites, the U.S. vs. the Shi’ites, and the Arbor Police Department was out in full force. threat to the Sunni-Arab world than Israel,” because of U.S. vs. the Sunnis. And while Tanter initially supported In the audience was Blaine Coleman, an Ann Ar- its fundamentally expansive nature. “The regime must the toppling of Saddam Hussein and his Ba’ath loyalist bor resident infamous in the Jewish community for his have nukes, must dominate Iraq, and must send rockets party from power, he does not support the current oc- to Hezbollah,” Tanter bel- cupation of Iraq by American and British forces. Tanter blames the United States’ occupation of Iraq for the lowed, amidst the moans When a member of the audience asked why his pre- creation of four sub-wars: Al-Qaeda vs. everyone, the Sunnis of the aforementioned sentation seemed only to speculate on what is best for protestors. him, and not actual Iranian citizens, Tanter responded vs. the Shi’ites, the US vs. the Shi’ites, and the US vs. the Sunnis. However, military in- with an account of his experiences with Iranian resis- tervention by the United tance to the current government. He frequently appears firey rhetoric condemning the University of Michigan States or Israel towards Iran in the case of failed diplo- on radiocasts and television programs in Iran devoted to and the city of Ann Arbor for their investment in Is- macy is not a wise choice, he said, for several reasons. resisting the current government. His experience has led rael. He came with a group of eight sixty-something The first is the military capacity of Israel, which Tanter him to the conclusion that “They don’t want this gov- year-olds clad with homemade posters with statements believes is not sufficient to carry out attacks against nu- ernment, but they don’t want American imperialism.” such as “Zionists are Racist Murderers,” and “No Wars clear facilities in Iran. Tanter, who has worked with in- While the fanatical anti-Israel protestors came out for Israel” (complete with the letter “s” as a swastika), fluential and important politicians, such as Condoleezza hoping to disrupt the speech in any way possible. But as destined to disrupt the lecture. Rice, both here and in Israel, believes that Israeli govern- the lecture continued, their shouts gradually lessened as Despite Mr. Coleman and the other the protestors ment will carry out an attack if they lack confidence that Tanter delivered an educated speech which helped paint obstructions, Tanter provided a surprising the wealth the United States will agree to conduct an attack of their a picture of the Iranian regime’s motivations and what of information concerning diplomacy and dialogue be- own. He stressed that diplomacy should be the first op- the international community, specifically the U.S. and Is- tween the United States and Iran today. tion towards Iran, and that the United States must take a rael, can do about them. MR Tanter began his lecture with a diatribe on Iranian neutral stance when dealing with Iranian politics. P. 9 News 12.5.06 The Lack of Fast Something More Food On Campus than a Soft Drink Explained Panel discussion revives the “Coke on campus” issue Many students lament the lack of Taco Bell and other establishments By Evan Wladis, ‘10 on campus, but few know the reasons why U-M lacks a lot of fast he University of Michigan’s official motto is a Latin phrase that means food facilities. TArts, Science, and Truth. In recent years, however, the university has seemingly pursued a new , pursuing new responsibility as a self-proclaimed “global citizen.” By Jenni Chelenyak, ‘10 Last year, facing pressure from a student coalition, the University suspended Coca-Cola’s $1.4 million contract. Although the Coca-Cola Company was never found he golden arches. Crunchwrap Supremes. BK Value Menu. All of these guilty of any of the alleged human rights infringements or environmental abuses, U-M Tsymbolize something near and dear to many University of Michigan students: officials maintain that the soft drink giant violated the University’s Vendor Code of fast food. McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and Burger King are restaurants that are familiar to Conduct. The popular beverage’s reinstatement this April did little to quell the divi- nearly every student. When it comes to pizza, there are even more familiar options: siveness of the issue. Domino’s, Little Caesar’s, Pizza Hut, Hungry Howie’s. However, all of these restau- This was the backdrop for a discussion held last Thursday, which examined the rants are decidedly absent from University of Michigan’s Central Campus—a fact that implications of the soda’s temporary exile from campus. The presentation, entitled puzzles many. “The University as a Global Citizen,” focused on the University’s role in a global so- While students often lament the lack of fast food on campus, finding food is cer- ciety and its responsibilities as a “citizen of the world.” The six panelists represented tainly no tall task. There are four Jimmy John’s restaurants on campus, two Starbucks, administration, faculty, and students. two Espresso Royales, a Great Wraps, a Panchero’s and a Potbelly’s. Pizza House has Most members of the panel, including Andrew Hoffman, a professor at the Ross been a college staple, both here and at our rival East Lansing, since 1986; and NYPD School of Business, and Lindsey Rogers, a member of Amnesty International, fully has been successful in Orlando for 8 years. endorsed the ban on Coca-Cola; some were more critical of the University’s embargo. Within a few miles of campus, there are also the essentials: two McDonald’s, three Panelist Elizabeth Cowen, who spent the last year as a volunteer in Columbia with the Burger Kings, three Taco Bells, and twelve of the pizza establishments listed above. A union SINALTRANAL, which represents Coca-Cola’s workers there, focused on her few miles? Sure, that’s fine and dandy for those of us lucky enough to have a car—but Colombian heritage. She explained that her work has lead her to believe that “citizen- what about the rest? ship provides the framework of rights” “We only have so much space,” commented Bob Yecke, of University Unions. Panel member Ryan Fantuzzi, founder of the Student Liberty Party, discussed the University Unions offers many fast food options—a favorite of many students. Entrée impacts of the Coca-Cola ban in Ann Arbor, claiming that Coke’s suspension “harms Plus, which the Union’s restaurants accept, presents both convenience, and in many the wrong people.” He argued that it hurts the local bottlers and could have put their cases, the ability to spend Mom and Dad’s money rather than our own. factories out of business if the ban had persisted. The University currently offers Subway and Wendy’s—traditional, familiar fast For many, though, the issue is not even about defending Coca-Cola. As Coke’s food chains. In addition, many local restaurants are growing fast food franchises. Villa official slogan from 1965 implies, it’s about “something more than a soft drink”: it’s Pizza operates over 300 locations across the nation, while Magic Wok, based out of about defending personal choice. Toledo, OH, is seeking to expand both in the Midwest and across the globe. In the past few months, numerous complaints have From U-M’s How does the University choose which operations come to campus? John Taylor, been raised about the University’s new role as the “stu- Ed.D, Director of University Unions, responds that the Unions “operate about half dents’ conscience,” which some say decreases the capac- banishment of of the food restaurants…while the other half are leased out.” The main goal is to sup- ity for independent thought on campus. From U-M’s CocaCola to its ply a wide variety of choices for students. Through the Request for Proposal process, banishment of Coca-Cola to its defiant stance on Pro- both local business and national franchises receive invitations to come to campus. posal 2, the University has been taking stances more of- defiant stance Businesses are then evaluated based on “food quality, experience, and customer ser- ten and with more resolve on political issues, even if the on Proposal 2, vice,” Taylor explains. Finally, a committee recommends which businesses should be administration does not shy away from telling its fellow offered contract. Taylor also notes that this selection committee “includes students citizens that it knows best. the University from our advisory boards.” And while Rogers means well when she says that has been taking According to Yecke, there are no city ordinances prohibiting certain restaurants “good parents teach their children by example; universi- from operating on campus. This is not a matter of promoting good health or a certain ties should do the same [by permanently banning Coke],” divisive stances image of Ann Arbor; it is a business decision. The ultimate selection of restaurants is it leaves many to wonder if the university should really more often and based on “what fits with the business plan of various corporations and our campus be playing the role of a parent and treating its students community,” says Yecke. Restaurants must also “comply with regulations established like children. Instead of working to educate scholars with more re- by the University’s Department of Occupational Health and Environmental Health,” and turn them into informed decision-makers, the Uni- solve on according to Taylor. versity, it seems, has decided to make the decisions for Selections of certain restaurants could also reflect strategies of the University. us. In this sense, U-M has abdicated its primary respon- political issues. Bonici Brothers, a branded solution of Tyson, offers low start-up costs, without fran- sibility as an educator and a moderator and assumed the chise or royalty fees—and still has high quality products. Selecting Bonici Brothers, role of a censor. as opposed to a high profile pizza chain, may be a cost-cutting strategy. According Fantuzzi, for one, believes that the purchase of Coke should be the “students’ to the 2005-2006 annual report of University Unions, Perfectly Chilled at Pierpont right to free choice,” citing his conviction that an unforced student boycott would Commons “created healthy food options for students”—perhaps a simple reflection prove far more effective than a university-imposed sanction against the soda. of student demand. Amidst all this, the future of Coca-Cola at the University of Michigan still hangs In response to the lack of McDonald’s on campus, Taylor comments that “there in the air, as its contract has only been conditionally reinstated. Meanwhile, feelings was a McDonald’s a few years ago at Pierpont Commons. That space now has a Panda of apprehension and an uncomfortable peace ominously linger. The issue may be a Express in its place.” Yecke also notes that “Taco Bell has never shown any interest sign that the University is increasingly accepting a belief exspoused by Hoffman, that in being on campus.” For those students distressed by the lack of such restaurants on it should be a “change agent.” MR campus, time may offer a solution: Taylor notes that “food operations change over the years, most often when a contract expires.” MR P. 10 News 12.5.06 ‘Dean,’ From Page 1 to achieve this.” Hypocrisy Among Jewish Voters? With an office in the third floor of the Michigan Union, down the hall from Why did some Jewish voters fail to support a pro-Israel candidate? MSA chambers and not holed up in the By Zack Zucker, ‘10 action in Iraq. According to a survey conducted by the Ameri- Fletcher building that provides office n November 7, incumbent Joe Lieberman trounced can Jewish Committee, 65 percent of Jews disapprove of the space for many of her colleagues, Dean ONed Lamont in the rematch of the Connecticut Senate war in Iraq. After all, on almost every other issue Lieberman is a Eklund is the administration official most race after being beaten in the Democratic primary. It is essen- liberal like the vast majority of Jews in this country. directly responsible, and responsive to, tially the political equivalent of the Michigan football team los- Indeed, Lieberman and Lamont appeared two hold almost student interests. ing to Ohio State in the regular season and beating them in the identical beliefs on nearly every other major issue besides Iraq. Her office, for instance, heads up the National Championship game. The only difference between Lieberman and Lamont was that much-ballyhooed “Expect Respect” cam- Of course, Lieberman is an observant Lieberman was more pro-Israel and supported military action paign, as well as the recent “hate crime Jew, and he does not try to hide the fact that in Iraq. It is likely that Liberman’s support for Israel is why he hotline” established in concordance with Staff he is vehemently pro-Israel. This raises an continues to support the war. Regardless, 35 to 40 percent of Expect Respect. Opinion important question: nationally, around 87 per- Jews voted for Lamont over Lieberman. Eklund, unlike many of her subor- cent of Jews voted Democratic in this year’s It is possible that these Jews do not care about Israel, or do dinates and program coordinators who election. However, only around 60 percent of they simply value peace over security? The American Jewish have agreed to interviews in the past year, Jews voted for Lieberman. Why, then, did fewer Jews support community forgets that in 1981, Hussein planned on building acknowledged that the campaign was a pro-Israel Jew than the average run-of-the-mill Democrat in nuclear weapons. This prompted Israel to destroy his nuclear launched in the aftermath of the “Asian Connecticut? reactor at Osiraq. In the beginning of the first Gulf War, Sad- urination” incident in the fall of 2005 The Democrats are the party of Howard Dean, who argued dam launched dozens of SCUD missiles into Israel, even though (Even the Dean fumbled with how to during the Democratic primaries that it is not America’s “place Israel was not even involved. While still in power, Saddam of- term the now-infamous event). Eklund to take sides” in the Israeli-Palestinian debate. A major critic of fered $25,000 to the family to all Palestinian suicide bombers. maintained, however, that the impetus Howard Dean has been his then-rival for President in 2000, Joe It is interesting that so many Jews rejected a man whose for the campaign and hotline were the Lieberman. Moreover, last summer, national Democrats such only significant difference in political views with their own was students who came out of the woodwork as Neil Abercrombie, Pete Stark and local chums John Conyers, for the benefit of Israel. This is the same man who won the in the weeks following the incident. Ex- John Dingell, and Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick voted against con- support of nearly the entire Jewish community when he ran for pect Respect is a response to “what we demning Hezbollah after their recent attacks against Israel? as Vice-President in 2000. Perhaps it is time for the American learned about the campus,” Eklund said, The answer may hinge on Lieberman’s support of military Jewish community to take a good, long look in the mirror. MR adding that the impression that students had no knowledge of a central office to which they could report incidents as a Rise in Spam E-mail Causes Concern at ITCS “significant” factor in the creation of Ex- pect Respect. The son of a Nigerian Prince will pay you Brooks’ group at ITCS has proposed several solutions to Many students have claimed an in- $1,000,000 to buy some Vi@gra to please your address these issues. crease in racial hostility and incidents in woman. Interested? Read on. One project, the “Group Expiry Policy,” was proposed this the wake of the MCRI, which would as- year. Group owners would be notified on a yearly basis with an sumedly be reported to Expect Respect. By Mary Wilcop, ‘08 e-mail asking them to renew their groups. Those that did not re- Dean Eklund did not dispute such claims spond would be deleted. However, this proposal was shot down directly, but said she was not aware of eel like there’s more junk in your university by concerned university groups. Professors on sabbatical, for any allegations of hate crimes, and re- Fmailbox than ever before? You’re not alone. example, might not be able to respond. Graduates might want ported that the hate crime hotline has Just last week, CNN reported that spam mail now accounts to stay in contact with old housemates. Overall, Brooks says, seen a “slight uptick” from numbers that for 9 out of every 10 e-mails. And though the problem has be- “we can’t assume that people don’t want to be contacted.” were “rather small to begin with.” Inter- come more noticeable over this past year, Amy Brooks, director Another project is called “Penalty Box.” If implemented, estingly, according to Eklund, most of of the U-M Computing Environment at Information Technol- ITCS would mark addresses sending high rates of e-mails to these reports stem from incidents in the ogy Central Services (ITCS), responsible for managing student university accounts. A program would “penalize” these senders dorms, and the vast majority of incidents e-mail servers, says the past two months have been the worst– by limiting the amount of e-mails they send. “The plan is, hope- reported to the hotline have been due to especially for university students. fully, spammers will go somewhere else,” says Brooks. LGBT issues, and not race. Several factors account for this increase in junk mail. Just And even giant servers like Google and Microsoft have Finally, Eklund denied rumors, re- a few years ago, companies paid individuals to send mass web made suggestions, offering to sponsor free student e-mail main- ported by some, that she had assured advertisements. But now, Yahoo! News reports, professional tenance to U-M and other universities. With more money and some student leaders that the University groups use sophisticated technology to send more e-mails and resources to devote to spam-prevention, these corporations was trying to process as many applica- avoid detection. Only a few products need to be purchased for may prove a viable option to ITCS. tions before the late-December certifica- senders to make a profit. One more successful tool has been the comprehensive tion of the MCRI. “I don’t know where ITCS, responsible for computer technology at U-M, faces spam information page on the ITCS website. The site, devel- or how I said that,” Eklund said, “I’ve more challenges than typical corporate web servers. “With cor- oped over the past two years, provides information about anti- always tried quite hard to refer people to porate accounts,” Brooks says, “if I send someone a picture spam tools so one can better protect their account. admissions itself.” She added that she did attachment, they can’t get it [through their server].” But as a The “Do Not Spam” list, started last year, has also been not know if there was any truth to the learning institution, the university cannot block the types of files helpful, blocking some known spammers from accessing e-mail rumor about admissions. Neither the Of- other organizations can. “Basically,” Brooks continues, “there accounts. Next year, this service will be turned on automatically fice of Undergraduate Admissions or the could be people doing research on spam or pornography. So we for incoming freshmen. Media Relations Office responded to our can’t just prevent those kinds of things from going through.” But, according to Brooks, the biggest problem for ITCS repeated attempts at contact. One of the biggest problems for students is signing up for is student responsibility. “When freshmen come in for orienta- Eklund seems less a crusader for af- several student organization e-mail groups as freshmen. Though tion,” Brooks says, “the last thing on their mind is e-mail ac- firmative action than someone who is in- many are no longer active, these groups become targets for junk counts.” ITCS has launched advertising campaigns in the past terested in doing her job—and she seems mailers. And groups owners, who have the ability remove stu- two years, but still feels students are largely unaware of spam to be performing rather well. Her tenure dents, often graduate, with little stake in managing their old ac- and its relation to group accounts. is sure to see more controversial mo- counts. ITCS prevents students from removing themselves be- “We are limited in what we can propose,” Brooks says. “Ul- ments on campus, but she has certainly cause many groups are, for example, class lists. “Students could timately, [owners] need to be responsible for maintaining their emerged formidably as an administration drop out from the group and say they never received assign- groups.” MR figure commanding respect. MR ments,” Brooks explains. P. 11 Arts & Culture 12.5.06 Events Calendar FuZion Game Center Entertains Local Geeks Second City: Dysfunctional Holiday Second City Detroit Ongoing: Wednesdays - Sundays, By Mary Wilcop, ‘08 The CEO designed FuZion with FuZion charges by the hour and even Times vary partner Tony Wu about a year ago. Since offers “one-year play passes” for zealots. $15-$20 t’s Friday night. opening in October, the owners have And that’s not all. Future sees this cen- Make your shy friends and relatives more I In front of you, it’s dark, except been operating with no actual marketing. ter as only the first of many. He hopes to uncomfortable than your drunk Uncle for the quick, bright flashes of light. “We did this 100% cash,” says Future, eventually market the idea as franchises, Bob at Christmas dinner. Second City And then. You start to feel your body who is waiting to turn some profit before targeted especially at university campuses. Detroit, just northwest of A2, performs shaking as looped hyper-techno beats beginning any real ad campaigns begin. FuZion has even come to the attention its seasonal interactive holiday improve blast from the speakers. Spinning balls of “So far,” he says, “It’s just been word-of- of graduating B-school students, some show. Taking jabs at Christmas films, neon light are orbiting in front of you. mouth and MySpace.” of whom have shown interest in the con- plays, and family gatherings, the comedy It’s loud and disorienting and you feel like Which is appropriate. Future mar- cept. is fun alternative to the traditional holiday dancing, but…you’re not at a club or a kets his business as appealing to the So if “next-gen” interactive vid- routine. bar. You’re not anywhere, really, except in “next-gen” gaming that has emerged in eogames, a social life via MySpace, and front of your laptop. It’s the intro page to the past five years. FuZion has yet to in- comfier chairs are the new vogue, what The Nutcracker the FuZion Game Center website, which stall gamer’s latest fetishes Nintendo Wii does this mean for student life? Let’s face Power Center has an atmosphere not much different and Playstation3, but wants to keep up- it. FuZion is open from mid-afternoon Wednesday, December 6 and Thursday, from its actual store. And if you have ac- to-date on new systems. Xboxes are the “until gaming ends,” which, Future ex- December 7, 8pm and 2pm tually been to this site, you’re one of only current consul, with webcams installed plains, can mean as late as 7 in the morn- $15-$20, $8 for students about 1600. on top so friends can check out who’s ing. With a city license to hold late hours, Based on the classic play by David Ham- What everyone has been dubbing, there from their home computer. Even FuZion’s in-store DJs will be pounding mond, the Nutcracker will be presented “the weird videogame place” on South the staff has a gaming background: “Our techno much later than Necto’s can. Al- by U-M’s Department of Theatre and University, FuZion Elite has been around Concept and Design Team is made up of though they cannot serve alcohol, FuZi- Drama. for little over 6 weeks. And its newness actual gamers, not by big wig corporate on offers soda, snacks, and energy drinks is not the only reason why little is known entities.” And though it seems intimidat- for late night benders. And if videogames Skating with the Stars! about it. “It’s kind of intimidating,” says ing, FuZion is set up as the anti-aesthetic aren’t really your thing, the center will be Yost Arena Krane Future (his real name), founder of traditional arcades. “We designed it installing high-definition computers and Thursday, December 7, 8-10pm and CEO of FuZion. A large glass plate around things we like ourselves,” says high-speed internet so you can update $5 window gives a clear view of its inside: Future, “We got plush rocking chairs and your blog in style. So, if Future is the fu- The Make-A-Wish Foundation of Michi- two rows of seated gamers staring in- HDTVs. Its just like a hang out place.” ture, at least you won’t have to dress up to gan sponsors a skate night with players tently at the monsters and machine guns And in this way, game-crazed co-eds go out. Unless, of course, you’ll be on the from the Michigan Men and Women’s on the screens in front of them. “People will be able to get their hands on Xbox webcam. MR hockey teams to raise money for kids. walk past and they’re like, whoa, what is 360s and other expensive systems with- that?” laughs Future. out shelling out hundreds of dollars. Califone Michigan Union U-Club Friday, December 8, 9pm A Non-Guilty Pleasure for Your Favorite Guilty Friend $14 By Shanda Shooter, ‘10 gone, the people they were helping no longer know how to take Its 12 degrees outside, but you can cel- responsibility for themselves and ultimately fall to the situation ebrate the holidays with the sunny tones re you having a tough time finding that perfect holi- they were in before the program. of laid-back, Los Angeles-based Cali- Aday gift? Well, look no further than Shelby Steele’s White Thus to “level the field,” programs such as affirmative -ac fone. The band is on tour for “Roots & Guilt, which is great for both your conservative dad and those tion and social welfare were created. Steele worked for a time in Crowns,” its recently released album that anti-Prop 2 friends that need a little ‘enlightenment.’ one of these programs and saw firsthand that throwing money met with rave critical reviews. The event Steele’s childhood experiences in pre-Civil Rights America at the problem and lowering the standards did nothing to help is sponsored by the student music scene and his college participation in the “black pride” the “victimized” minorities. group, New Beat Happening. movement lends credibility to He uses the example of a young black his arguments. He claims that boy on a basketball court: if he cannot drib- A Christmas Carol Book the blame and outrage white ble well, the other children aren’t going to Michigan Theater Review America faced in the wake of make concessions for him and lower their Saturday, December 9 11am the Civil Rights Era caused standards. He must work hard on his own It might be the first Saturday since foot- them to give up any moral to better himself and in the end when he ball you’ve been up before 1, but a little authority and instead replace it with a stance of becomes great he will have only himself to Christmas spirit might just be worth it. “white guilt.” thank and the satisfaction will be worth it. The Michigan Theater sponsors the live He asserts that the promise of an equal On the other hand, if the same boy and play through its “Not Just for Kids” se- playing field created by his parents’ generation place him in a school where he has a tough ries. and the Civil Rights Era was destroyed by the time reading, money and tutors will be next generation’s victimization of minority rac- thrown at him and standards will be low- It’s a Wonderful Life es. It was thought that because minorities had ered to make him feel better about himself. Michigan Theater been held down for so long by the white race, Steele believes that, on any day, the boy Sunday, December 10, 4pm it would be impossible to expect them now to would rather be on his hypothetical bas- Free compete fairly- something that Steele’s parents’ generation be- ketball court than in the classroom where he’ll never be good No one makes suicide loveable like James lieved they could do. enough to make it on his own. Stewart. See the holiday classic on the big Steele asserts that “white guilt” comes simply from white Although Shelby Steele may hold some uncommon and screen for free before the TBS 24-hour America’s fear of being associated with white supremacy or sometimes unpopular ideas about poverty and race, by telling marathons begin and ruins it for the rest slavery in any way. As Steele sees it, white guilt takes the respon- the stories of his personal experience he ties together his ideas of the year. sibility of being successful away from minorities which in turn and clarifies how he came to his conclusions. He offers many causes many people to stop trying to better themselves. This is convincing arguments about today’s issues that make this book the downfall of many social programs because once they are a great read, no matter what side of the fence you’re on. MR P. 12 Feature 12.5.06 Bo’s Review Interview In 1997, the Coach gave an interview to the Review, with Sports Editor Robert Wood. Here’s a copy of the interview, in memoriam. --Ed.

Robert Wood, ‘98 You probably had a hard time getting knock their tails off. Now if you go down photo with finger) “this guy and,” (stabs hold of me...” there, in September, they’ll knock your again, even harder) “this guy did not have I’m just wondering how many lega- tail off, because they’re playing outside guts enough to overrule it...He eventually cies one person can leave behind. I “...I spend the winters in Florida. and throwing that ball every single day. stayed in the Big Ten. I did not let him of- know I, and just about all of the stu- We have a condo down there in Boca ficiate here [at Michigan Stadium], again. dents, am wondering what you’re up Grande.” Do you think that sometimes, just be- And the first year that I’m retired, I see to nowadays. cause it’s Michigan, the officials call him out there as a referee. In regard to the kind of football you’re things a bit unfairly. Maybe it’s just “But anyway, [in regard to] offi- “I’m only here six months or less known for, the hard-nosed, smash- because I’m a fan and I notice our ciating, I don’t think they consciously [do [per year]. My first wife died of adrenal mouth football... calls a lot more... it], ya’ know? I mean, we get bad calls, but cancer, a very rare cancer found mostly in so do the other guys,” females, and there’s no cure. I found out “It’s interesting about that. See, when “I think you do. Ya’ know, I joke during the year that she was ill that the I came here, for two years, [we] had Don about it a lot, and I think that sometimes, There are a lot of stories about how only treatment for it was experimental Moorhead at quarterback. He was really officials have done a poor job. Like the Woody Hayes really didn’t like Michi- and that, of all the places we checked, the a good quarterback. ...And [we] had Jim guy who called that play a touchdown in gan much. I’ve heard that while re- University of Michigan Hospital knew Mandich at tight end. The first year I was the Rose Bowl...It was a tied-up game, cruiting in this state once, he ran out the most about it. here, Mandich caught fifty balls...Then, in and in the fourth period, Southern Cal of gas just after he had crossed the “It’s not a disease that can get a lot 1971, Moorhead had graduated, and [we] went down there. That’s Charles White state line, and he pushed his car back of financial support from the Cancer In- into Ohio to get gas, and things like stitute or other areas, because there aren’t that. Were you good friends? enough incidences of it. When Millie died, I asked those people up here ‘What “I was his best friend in coaching, by would it take to make Michigan the cen- far. When he...had the problem with that ter for adrenal cancer research?’ Clemson player, I was the guy who got “They said ‘Not much,’ and calcu- him out of his house...The reason that lated that if they had a $2 million endow- we were so close was that the two pro- ment and $1.2 million to endow a chair grams and the two coaches had tremen- for adrenal cancer research (a total of dous respect for each other. We had great $3.2 million) they would have it. respect for each other. That’s why you “So I said ‘Okay, I’m going to get wanted to beat them all the time...When it,’ and I started a golf tournament five I came here, I told my staff– and I came years ago...[It is] on the Monday before here with some young whipper-snappers, the baseball All-Star game,...[and] nets some of them were right out of high $250,000 in one day. Then, we got some school, and nobody [among them] had support from the Towsley Foundation ever coached in the Big Ten but me and I and other places. We now have $2.1 mil- was an assistant; I wasn’t a head coach. I lion, in five years. We’re going to have the said ‘Hey, we’re here to beat one, and only $3.2 million by the year 2000, and we’re one, team...Ohio State,’” going to have a huge celebration. “Now, we [Woody and I] never talk- “Now that takes some work, be- ed. For the decade that we played against cause we have to bring 36 celebrities in each other, we did not talk during the here, every year. I mean, I’ve got to get a didn’t have anybody. [We] had a quarter- with the ball, and...I’ll show you a pic- year. We did not call each other on the Bobby Knight, Danny Dierdorf, a Sparky back who didn’t come through. He threw ture...” phone. We only saw each other at the Big Anderson, a Lou Holtz. I’ve got to get the pass well, but he didn’t have the other Ten meetings in July, and for about two all these guys to come in here. We have it attributes; toughness [and] all the things At this point, Coach Schembechler minutes at the fifty yard line when we right here, at the University golf course you need, to stand back and throw the leapt from his chair and went to the were warming up. That’s it...That was real and it’s been hugely successful, but it ball...So I took a guy by the name of Tom left wall of his office, to his photo of competition. takes a lot of time. Slade...I said ‘Tom, we’re going to run the infamous “Phantom Touchdown” “...We won in ‘69, but we lost to “I’m also on two boards. I’m on option football. Don’t throw very much. in the 1979 Rose Bowl. If you know Michigan State, and they all said ‘Well, the Ridell board, which makes protec- We’re going to play defense. That team the coach’s personality and have a you don’t understand the importance of tive equipment; headgear...and shoulder scored like 475 points, and they held the good imagination, you can probably Michigan State,’ pads. And, I’m the Chairman of Midland opponents to less than 120. I mean, we guess what he did next. He grabbed “I said ‘Okay, okay. Well, we’ll do Company in Cincinnati, which I have just ran ‘em over. When that happened, that photo by its frame and pointed something about that,’ So we lost in ‘69, been for over 25 years. I went to school in then immediately, that’s how I got the out (rather fervently) what happened. and in the next twenty years, we beat ‘em Miami [Ohio]. I’m on those two boards, reputation. But the reputation was such In my mind’s eye, I could see the Bo seventeen times,” and then I do quite a bit of speaking. Too that you took what you had, and you did Schembechler of eighteen years ago much. what you could do best and [didn’t] try going out of his skull and charging I ran out of questions, and it was “I’m gone quite a bit. [For] some of to do something that you weren’t capable down the sideline to give the referee a still before 10:00 am. I knew that Mr. it, I get paid, but most of it is for charity. of doing. few anatomically impossible instruc- Schembechler had a busy day ahead Let’s say you were Bobby Knight, and I “That’s how I got the reputation to tions to follow after the game. of him; still, he knew just the right say ‘I want you to come to my tourna- run the ball, and I still believe, to this day, way to exit the interview, gracefully. ment. I want you to come every year,’ that the best teams in the country will al- “That’s the ball. That ball was even- “[He’d say] ‘Okay, come to mine,’ ways be able to run the ball. Now, if they tually recovered on the three-yard line... “Well, you got enough stuff?” And there’s 36 of these guys. So I have can pass, that’s fine, but these pure pass- and there was an official from the Big Ten more things to do than I have time to do, ing teams, just like Florida; if you bring Conference,” (points) “right here. [He] and I’m busy. I’m not in here very often. Florida up here in November, hell...we’d called that a touchdown, and,” (stabs at