THE MICHIGAN REVIEW Volume 16, Number 1 The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan September 17, 1997 Couzens Hall Remodeling Crisis

BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE covers." identified, said that "the light switch fected by the construction would re­ In addition, Malarney also noted [in his room) is' wired completely ceive any monetary compensation, OR THE RESIDENTS OF the lack of bathroom facilities in the wrong," leaving his overhead Zeller replied that "we aren't doing Couzens Hall, the completion 1100 and 2100 Corridors of Couzens flourescent lamp and his mirror lamp that," noting the project would hope­ F of a costly remodeling plan HalL "We have to go to the the third tied to the same switch. fully be completed within the next meant that most students would be couple weeks. the beneficiaries of newer furniture, As for the remodeling project it­ new lighting, and a better paint job ih self, it is proceeding slowly but surely, their room . New curtains, floor tiles, although behind schedule. and carpeting would make the rooms As of press time, carpeting sched­ and hallways far more cheerful and uled to be installed in the noo, 1200, more enjoyable to live in. and 1300 Corridors of Couzens Hall There was just one problem: the during SeptemberlO through 12 had 1100 Corridor of Couzens Hall was not yet been installed. Tile installa­ not yet fmished. It is still not finished, tion, which was to be completed Sep­ two weeks after the beginning of tember 9 in the 2200 Corrid

crete slab. The ,(\{ • Page 3 features a story by Evan • Staffer C.J. Carnacchio takes '~" :' . slab itself was ',c-'" Knott on the upcoming affirma­ · a look at the smoking deal on page ,~, '~.~.' dirty and cov­ tive action lawsuit against the Uni­ 8. ered with saw­ versity. dust, dirt, and • Sports Editor Robert Wood de bri s. Wood L.'______"'-- • Editor-in-Chief Benjamin brings you a preview of the upcom­ scraps and Some showering facilities at Couzens Hall are "out of order." Kepple returns with another in­ ing U-M Ice Hockey Season on standing water stallment of "Lost In The Eight­ page 9! He also examines the quite were present. Temporary lighting was displeased. "Four months [ofconstruc­ ies TM" and blasts the defenders of disturbing phenomena of really, the only lumination in the hallways. tion) and they still don't have this affirmative action. See page 5. really, really lopsided football The bathroom facilities were com­ part done. I love climbing three flights games. pletely useless, forcing residents to . of stairs to take a shower." • Join Managing Editor Evan hike up to the third floor. Guernsey, a member ofthe March­ Knott as he takes a look at free • Arts Editor Kristina Curkovic Malarneys reaction upon first ar­ ing Band, also complained that due to speech here at the U-M in his new reviews "The Full Monty," while riving to his as-yet uncompleted cor­ construction he was unable to move column, "To Here Knows When," Matt Buckley plays "The Game." ridor was "What the hell is this?" into his room on time. debuting on page 6 . See page 10. . "I knew they were doing construc­ "I got here Friday, the 22nd of tion, but my God! We had no carpet, August, and I was told I could not get • Managing Editor Matt Buckley • And Music Editor Chris Hayes we had no tile. The floor was cement, into my room until the 25th. It wasn't examines the connection between presents U-M music fans with an and dirty. There was a two-by-six and until that following Friday that I was , Robert Bork, Catherine exclusive interview with indie a puddle of water in front of my door," -able to move into my room." Guernsey I MacKinnon, and Lee Bollinger on rock band Superchunk. See page he said. Inside the room, he said, it lived in Alice Lloyd until Couzens was I page 7. 12. was also uncompleted. "There was a completed. hole in my ceiling. We had no register One resident, who declined to be ... ALL THIS AND MORE ... INSIDE!

>'"''''''''''-''~ __'' ' __ '~' ___ <_>M' '' ~_~",~,,, '"""'''_ _ ,.. ••'' _ __." _ _ __~ ..,_'"'~>'' ~ '~m _ _ ~._ .' ___'''''''' ..__ 2 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 17, 1997 E MICHIGAN REVIEW The Campus Affairs Journal of the SERPENT'S TOOTH ' . University of Michigan o '"':ts-<'"' "OOOOOH! NAVY SEALS!I" EDITORIAL BOARD

Tempers flared at the last NWROC Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Benjamin Kepple Dina Anastasia, a Campus Consult­ MANAGING EDITOR: Matthew Buckley meeting as it degenerated into a large ing Sites manager for lTD, recently President Mike N agran t recen tly pro­ MANAGING EDITOR: Evan Knott fracas. Participants, working to save said "In computers, nothing ever stops claimed that the University should ARTS EDITOR: Kristina Curkovic affirmative action ona national scale, changing. It's a constant cycle of up­ not only support racial diversity, but got into a drawn-out imbroglio over grades and improvements." Oh, re­ also intellectual diversity. What is EDITORIAL STAFF the order which minority groups woule ally? Why is it then, that: this, an implicit demand for more ASSISTANT EDITOR: Lee Bockhom be listed on their flyer in defense of dumb blondes and Kinesiology ma­ SPORTS EDITOR: Rob Wood affirmative action. This however, is a • Pagemaker is completely shot on jors on campus? MUSIC EDITOR: Chris Hayes Astrid Phillips step up from the NWROC meetings of the Macintosh machines? ILLUSTRATOR: last year, when NWROC members The Nectarine Ballroom has recently STAFF WRITERS: Simon Einspahr, Calvin Hwang, left their imperialist Wendy's food for • lTD knows full well that certain been the focus of racially charged in­ Nora Obringer, Maureen Simal. Jamie Smith. Nate the proletariat to clean up. Ah, what software is installed improperly and cidents involving students and Necto Teismann. glorious progress, comrade! they are apparently doing nothing employees. With this in mind, we've CORRESPONDENTS: Tom Jolliffe (Madrid), Dan about it? come up with a new Nectarine dance Succan:le (Los Angeles) Since so many people on campus are schedule to reflect this turn of events: in favor of diversity. it is perfectly • Nice, usable Power Macs are sud,­ • TUESDAY-Insensitive to Minori­ EDITOR EMERITUS: Geoff Brown obvious we need to recruit more con­ denly being replaced with less than ties Night, with "DJ? You can't have The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run servative students. We're 40 percent nice, usable Mac II-SIs? your own DJ!" journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the Uni· ofthe electorate, for God's sake. And versity of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary • WEDNESDAY - Rough up Indian donations from the U--M. Contributions to the Michigan how many conservatives are on cam­ What upgrades? What improvements? sJ;udents night - with DJ Punchy. Review are lax-Oeductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the pus? 19? 20?This is bloody ridiculous! ·~THURSDAY- Be snide to Hispanic Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated with We ask - no, scratch that, we DE­ Customers Night-with "DJWhitey" any political party or university political group. MAND -that for every prospective We're glad to see that the Daily's __ • FRIDAY - Deny Racially Charged Phew! What a summer! little did the world know that we NWROC member admitted to the movie reviews 4a'V~ progressed from Events Occurred Night were on the verge of extinction, almost being eaten by University,' we get at least three a level of''Thisis cool." or ''This sucks,"· • SATURDAY -Make Whiny Excuses Walter, the thing that lived in our fridge in Nicaragua. But prospective Steve Forbes voters, plus but did it reallY, require a total of For The Employees Night - with "DJ then, we were saved at the zero hour by a koala-fish­ two rich, cardigan- wearing, Ivy seven people from the Daily to review Mike" mutant-bird. Crazy shit. And then, Buckley and Evan got Leal.'l!!" rejects. ''The Game?" into a fight over Berk, and all hell broke loose. It was almost as-embarassing as those pictures we have of Ben in the - • sombrero getting funky at Simon and Jamie's party last year. We are in full support of the •James Earl Jones for Crisp Lady' group, but however, we have a feeling that soon Certain Groups will demand Mumia (Mumial Yeah, huh huh, huh huh) be Crisp Lady. But we've got to stand hard against those crazy commies! For some reason, Like what you see? members of our staff do not like the Canadian flag we have on the wall. Don't ask me why. They just don't.

Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial ,.. board. Ergo, they are unequivocably correct and just. Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opin­ Qr do you hate it ions of the author and not necessarily those of the Review. The opinions presented in this publication are not neces· \ sarily those of the advertisers or of the University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and comments about the journal. with an intense, Please address aI/ advertising and subscription inquiries to: Publisher do the Michigan Review. Editorial And Business Offices: 911 N. University Avenue, Suite One Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 EMAIL: [email protected] burning passion? URL: http://www.umich.edul-mrev! Tel. (313) 647-8438 Fax (313) 936-2505

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_ _ __"" ~< __ · >v.,<>'_ ~'_>_~ ff''''''' ____'~''''' ' __ '''''-'-'-'-~ __~ . _""""'_,~ ~u ;:u $ " September 17, 1997 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 3 o CAMPUS AFFAIRS Mfirmative Action: The Beginning of the End? " ill'"

BY EVAN KNOTT grants to prospective students in ways University of California system. press our strong conviction to take that constitute the "most blatant and Michael Greve, the executive director into account a wide range of consider­ OUR REPUBLICAN MEM­ extreme minority preferences in of CIR, has indicated that the firm ations- including ethnicity, race and bers of the Michigan State Michigan." However, the four law­ has received numerous requests for gender- as we evaluate the students F House ofRepresentatives have makers are not alone in describing legal assistance in reverse discrimi­ whom we select for admission," they undertaken an ambitious effort to the University's admissions proce­ nation lawsuits in light of its Hopwood have since remained silent on the challenge affirmative action policies dures as "shamefully selective and victory. CIR is currently considering recent news of a lawsuit. The Na­ at U-M. The University may face a secretive." U -M Professor Carl Cohen a suit against the University as the tional Women's Rights Organizing multifaceted probe in its admissions also admitted resistance from admin­ four state lawmakers continue to so­ Coalition (NWROC) at U-M is plan­ policies later this fall if state repre­ istration officials in obtaining admis­ licit information from over 200 Michi­ ning a public demonstration on Sep­ sentativesDeborah Whyman (R-Can­ sions data. Dr. Cohen has written and gan students who feel that they have tember 17 in support of the ton), Michelle McManus (R-Lake spoken extensively about his findings been discriminated against by the Uni­ University's policies, although the Leelenau), David Jaye (R-Washing­ in the University's affirmative action versity. Once a credible grievant is group couldn't win a Michigan Stu­ ton Township), and Greg Kaza (R­ policies, some of which appear below. found to serve as a plaintiff in a case dent Assembly endorsement. Rochester Hills) convince attorneys The Center for Individual Rights, against the University, a lawsuit will Many at U-M and other institu­ at the Washington-based, non-profit a public interest law firm that repre­ likely proceed. A group of lawyers, tions ofhigher education will be watch­ Center for Individual Rights (CIR) to sents deserving clients free of charge, Reps. Jaye, Whyman, Kaza, and ing the events related to this matter take legal action on behalf of numer­ won the groundbreaking case McManus, and concerned parents are unfold in coming weeks. Kaza has ous Michigan high school students Hopwood vs. State ofTexas that elimi­ scheduled to deliberate this matter cited a poll by MRG, Inc. showing that who were denied admission to the nated race-based preferential treat­ during a public forum slated for Sep­ 76% ofMichigan residents disapprove University. Additionally, Represen­ ment practices in the University of tember 29 in Shelby Township. of preferences in admissions. The tative Jaye, an alumnus ofthe School Texas' Law School admissions sys­ Despite the initial hype surround­ Michigan GOP had little success in of Public Policy, has introduced House tem. The Hopwood decision, which \ilg this development, only a handful pursuing this matter. when it con­ Joint Resolution W that would insti­ applies to states in the 5th circuit of editorial letters have appeared in trolled the legislature in 1995-1996. tute a California-style, anti-affirma­ such as Louisiana and Mississippi, is the pages of University publications­ The body is currently controlled by a tive action referendum on Michigan not binding in lI6ichigan, which is in '. some of which were even in support of Democratic majority, which likely ballots. the 6th circuit:CIR also defended the­ a potential lawsuit. Although the Uni­ explains why the four Republican law­ The four lawmakers targeted the constitutionality,.of the California versity administration professed in makers have decided to pursue action U-M due to the manner in which it. Civil Rights Initiative, which bans an April 24, 1997 New York Times through the courts rather than the !'rants admissions, scholarships, and affirmative action practices in the advertisement that "we want to ex- legislature.I\'R

AnMISSIONS DATA FOR 1995, VARIOUS SCHOOI.. S AND PROGRAMS

UNDERGRADUATE ADMISSIONS LAW SCHOOL ADMISSIONS INTEFLEX ADMISSIONS Non -Minority Applicants: Non- Minority Applicants: First Review Admissions Criteria \ Non-Minority Applicants: # of Applicant~ G.P.A. SAT Scores # of Applicants G.P.A. LSAT Scores G.P.A SAT Scores ACT Scores 478 2.80-2.99 1100-1390 238 3.25-3.49 156-163 3.8+ 1320+ 30+ # A~~~pt~g :e~n;~ntag~ Qf TQtal # Accepted Percentage of Total (out-of-state) 3.6+ 56 12% 7 3% (in-state)

Minority Applicants: MinoEity Applicants: First Review Admissions Criteria !It of Applicants Q.P,A. SAT Scores # of Applicants G.P.A. LSAT Scores Minority Applicants: G.P.A. SAT Scores ACT Scores 48 2.80-2.99 1100-1390 17 3.25-3.49 156-163 3.4+ 1170+ 26+ # A~~~pt~g :e~rc~ntag~ Qf Total # Accepted Percentage of Total (in/out-state) 48 100% 17 100%

~'N 0 person in the United States shall, on the gronds of race, color, or national origin, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimina- tion under any program or activity receiving federal financial assistance." -Title VI, The Civil Rights Act of 1964

'<~'~"~""«~-~""""W'~<''''<''';'

o FROM SUITE ONE

Time to End the Race Game~ :;p .

EE BOLLINGER BEGAN HIS FIRST FULL YEAR ON A VERY SOUR note. Not even an entire month into the 1997-98 school year, and four L Republican lawmakers in the Michigan House of Representatives alreadyannounceplanstoconductam~orprobeintotheUniversity'saffirmative action policies in admitting students. This multifacted investigation will confront the University's illegal and secretive use of race-based preferences in admissions through legislation, a ballot initiative similar to the California Civil Rights Initiative passed last year, and a potential lawsuit with the help of attorneys from the non-profit, Washington, D.C.-based public interest law firm the Center for Individual Rights. At the very least, an investigation of this magnitude is long overdue at the University of Michigan. The efforts of these lawmakers and attorneys will provide the citizens of Michigan a great service in calling upon the University administration to seriously defend their blatantly discriminatory admissions practices and attempts to stonewall anybody intending to inquire about them. University Vice-Presidents Walter Harrison and Lisa Baker continually deceive reporters and concerned parents of Michigan students by stating "we consider race among many other factors" in their quest to achieve intellectual L _____ . diversity. However, the exhaustive efforts of Professor Carl Cohen have demonstrated that admissions officers classify all applicants first and foremost by their race, and secondly by relevant intellectual characteristics such as o COMMENTARY grade point averages, test scores, and high school curriculum. Even a brief glance at records and data from various admissions offices on campus clearly demonstrate the separation of applicants into dehumanizing grids and tables ~The GOP's Identity Crisis bearing special decision codes for minority and non-minority applicant$-'. Rather than actually considering individual char9eteristics, talents, or HE GOAL OF A LINE-ITEM VETO HAS BEEN ONTHE COLLECTIVE qualifications for each applicant, the University ih essence predicates an GOP mind for years. Since the Reagan years, during which a Democratic admissions decisions solely on the factor of race. T Congress consistently submitted higher budgets than the executive Admissions officers are explicitly instnlcted in these racially separated wanted, Republicans have wanted a tool to trim down budgetary fat. A line- admissions tables to hold all non-minority applicants to higher grade point item veto, which gives the prt:::::ident th~ . power to eliminate small provisions in average and test score standards than minority students. For example, in-state larger bills, is an excellent way to helpcontrol excessive Washington spending. non-minority applicants to the University's highly selective INTEFLEX program .So Republicans should hi:lYe been exuberant when Pre~ident . Clinton must have a minimum GPA of3.6 and ACT score of30+ while in-state minority became the first president to use the line-item veto power early this August. applicants can enroll with only a 3.4 GPA and ACT scores of26+. The University Vetoing three small provisions in the huge balanced-budget deal, while an goes even further by giving minority applicants with qualifications equal to infinitesimal step, is a welcome one. non-minority applicants a nine to ten times higher rate of acceptance- sometimes Yet Newt Gingrich and some other Republicans are finding themselves as much as a 100% acceptance rate in certain categories of G PA and test scores. somewhat allergic to the Clinton vetoes. A Gingrich spokesperson said that the . Indeed, the so-called factors considered by the University in its admissions President's veto meant that the previous budget deal had not been in good faith amount only to race-based evaluations of high school grades and test scores. and were representative of "petty politics." Gingrich claims the budget Thus, one can conolude that a prestigious institution such as Michigan builds agreement was carefully constructed and any changes violate the agreement. its student bodY;With no regard for academic merit or other factors worthy of This is ludicrous. First, the changes are tiny_ The budget deal creates consideration, as-the administration and MSA President Mike Nagrant would savings of over $120 billion over the next five years, making this cut of $600 like you to believe. All decisions are based on numerical categories separating million a breach of good faith to the tune of 0.5 percent- a pitiful amount. non-minority and minority students. This is exactly the information the In looking at the specific programs, the Gingrich position is indefensible. It administration does not want the public to know and has made numerous forced New York state's health-care providers to pay taxes paid in every other efforts to delay attempts by Professor Cohen and others to acquire it. state in the Union. It ended certain tax deferment packages for food-processing The harm inflicted by the University's policy of racial preferences in its plants, and the third cut limited various financial services companies ability to admissions extends beyond the discrimination suffered by non-minority defer tax payments on overseas profits. In other words, the Republicans are on applicants. Many of Michigan's minority students are among the best and the the side ofN ew York, wealthy agribusiness, and financial service multinationals. brightest in the nation, and we are lucky that they have chosen to atten~ U-M Who thought up this brilliant gem of strategy? over the many other competitive institutions of higher education. Yet the ..... To be sure, there are other arguments against the line-item veto. Senator administration severely discounts the intelligence, talents, and qualities of Daniel Patrick Moynihan CD-NY) has argued against the line-item veto for these top students through its racially-preferential policies and lowering of . some time, noting that it would give the executive branch of government too academic standards for minority students in general. Undergraduate admissions much power over the legislature. Ifthe president has the power to knock out any Dean Ted Spencer is determined to convince the University community that particular provision in any bill, could he not exert pressure on the pork-barrel without affirmative action, and thus the use of preferences and lowering of antics? standards, minority students could not succeed at Michigan. This implication Perhaps, but these concerns are overblown. The line-item veto granted to is an insult to the hard work of Michigan's many bright minority students. Clinton is one approved by Congressional Republicans, and the terms are As the top public university in the nation, the demand for a University of relatively strict. The president can only strike down things affecting 100 Michigan education is extremely high. The only fair method for selecting taxpayers or less, and even then his veto is subject to a two-thirds override vote. students from this highly competitive pool of applicants is through strict Ifth e Congress vvishes to demand legislative power, let them unite behind their evaluation of merit-based academic factors regardless of race or ethnicity. pork-barrel projects and let the public count the votes for wasteful spending. Diversity is an ideal worthy of pursuing at U-M, but should not be engineered For now, Senators like Moynihan are working on a Supreme Court case for by guilt-ridden, white administrators at the expense of highly qualified students airing out the line-item veto dispute, after some setbacks this summer. One that don't meet the University's "goals" for a racially diverse campus. The four should hope that the veto remains, and that presidents continue to use it to save Michigan lawmakers conducting this probe against the University should be taxpayer dollars. Working to cut pork spending used to be the Republican commended for their efforts to force our deceptive administration to finally mantra. Heaven forbid that now, given the tools, Gingrich and other Republicans foster a genuine discussion of affirmative action and its detriments at U-11.l\R tlU'ow it away via their own petty politics. m - Matthew Buckley

'---~-----"- '----"'- - --.-----.:-:: ='------.--,-.. ---'-- September 17, 1997 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 5 o loST IN THE EIGHTIESTM For Every Affirmativ~,Action, There is a Reaction

BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE leave the entire campus population rica where tribal warfare has caused White Suburbanite with the artistic resembling the cast of "Leave It To millions of deaths in the past twenty skills of a slug was passed over by a s THE AFFIRMATIVE AC­ Beaver." Yes, there would be most years? The same Africa that has fos­ budding Rembrandt, and Johnny tion debate heats up, it ap­ likely be a drop in minority enroll­ tered such society-friendly group lead­ blamed it on affirmative action. This A pears that a shroud of implicit ment, but incoming classes would not ers as, say, Idi Amin, Mobutu Sese is absolutely ridiculous! fear has spread across the Univer- appear as ifthey just graduated from Seko, and dozens of other two-bit I realize I am supposed to feel sity. The planned rallies, the speeches, "Happy Days." I sincerely doubt that strongmen? Perhaps we should be guilty at this point for Not Supporting the essays in praise of affirmative students would somehow be unable to rather thankful we don't have the Affirmative Action. I, after all, am a action, that hideous monstrosity, are function as productive, workingmem­ individual subverted to the group? white male, and the enemy of all that all the same. The rhetoric has faded, bers of society even if campus were Furthermore, what in hell is a social is good and decent, according to some molded really, into a cacophony of taken over by Eddie Haskel clones. ecosystem? You can't compare the affirmative action proponents. These ~ noise where essays and speakers shout • " ... the University also gives combined acts of a nation-state to an same people are probably condeming about diversity and equality and similar consideration to children of ecosystem! An ecosystem is something me right now, because I, like Anthony privelige, and from which nothing alumni, exemplary high schools, and like a fish pond or a bog, something Burgess's fictional Professor F. X. substantive comes forth. "Diversity, applicants from under-represented re­ you studied in ju~ior high. It's non­ Enderby, "[don't] understand the eth­ diversity, diversity!!!" cry the propo­ gions of the nation and Michigan." sense! Irascible idiocy! nic agony." Like one of Enderby's fic­ nents of affirmative action, that being No, it doesn't. It has been docu­ • "Try to understand that this tional students, they task affirmative their sole justification for the pro­ mented - it is policy - of the idea is at most a gentle tug at the action opponents: "You play your little gram now, and no one responds: some undergraduate admissions depart­ sleeve of the empowered white male games with yourself ... Closing your because they agree, and some because ment to give preferential treatment American elite when one takes into eyes to what's going on in the big big they don't agree but don't want to by race or ethn'icity. This has been account the three centuries ofmisrep­ world ... You bastard. You misleading have to deal with the backlash from well documented by Prof. Carl Cohen resentation and exploitation ofAmeri­ reactionary evil bastard." those that do. They know that, God and was reported (first, as usual) in ~ can people on the basis of gender, I'll be called this and worse be­ forbid, you not SI\lpport or believe in the April 2nd, 1997 issue of the Re­ race: and even class." cause I don't think that diversity for the affirmative action rhetoric -con­ view by our very own Maureen Sirhal Oh, for God's sake. Here we go the sake of diversity is worth sacrific­ stantly shoved down our throats and Evan Ktfbft. There is no perf,pr­ again. "We need affirmative action ing a righteous system we term a around this campus. mance grid for the children of alumni because The ManlWhiteylThe Pow­ meritocracy. I thought about this myself as I or exemplary· high schools favoring ers That BelEvil Conservatives is in What is this fascination affirma­ wrote my column. After all, with affir­ one student over another without control of everything." What kind of tive action proponents have .with di­ mative action being in the news, what those characteristics. There is one for idiocy is this? Any person of any rac.e versity? I am not averse to it, ofcourse, better topic to write upon? This posed race. Similar, we should note, is not today is fighting an uphill battle. Our but for God's sake, I saw the word a problem. I mean, I'd be attacking equivalent to same. formative years were during the disco "diversity" used to describe the latest diversity and preference and all those In addition, what's with the head­ age. Most of us went to rotten primary musical offering by Phil Collins. The other good things, and before you line? "Equality threatened?" What schools, taught by uninterested teach­ "diversity" excuse is offered because would know it, angry crowds would be kind of vapid talk is that? The whole ers and stuck with idiot classmates. it is the only one left that people outside the Review office. The Michi­ idea of affirmative action is to make High school sucked for all of us (if you might actually buy. We all know what gan Student Assembly (MSA) would things unequal, to give preferential enjoyed it, you should be at Michigan affirmative action is really about. Af­ condemn me within two hours of the treatment to a certain group! Equal­ State). We're going to have to find firmative action is about left-wing paper hitting the stands. Then, the ity doesn't enter into it! work in a tough job market. Sonie of paternalism and liberal guilt. It is National Women's Rights Organiz­ Daily Viewpoint (by Paul us may have to become lawyers or used about having Women's Studies ing Coalition (NWROC) would find Bhasin, 9/8/97): "Affirmative Action legislative aides. The AARP is schem­ and African-American Studies De­ me and drag rile through the streets is Misunderstood." ing to take all of our money. We've all partments. It is about soothing the as if I were Mussolini. I would have • ''What needs to be clarified is been royally screwed in some way or mad rantings ofleftist faculty. It is to my fingernails ripped out after a trial that affirmative action supporters another, and we've got to live with it. secure money from public-relations under the Code of Student Conduct. realize that the policy in itselfis flawed Another thing we seemingly have conscious corporate foundations. It is But we have to stand up against ... This is irrelevant, however, when to live with are the endless cliches about power. The only reason that the affirmative action tyrants. After one realizes that the entire point is to used in defense of affirmative action. this abuse of power is not being pro­ all, let's take a look at some of the integrate minorities into academia For example, MSA President Mike tested is because the people losing out mindless rot that's been spewed out and professional culture." "Better Weather Boy" N agrant (Daily from that abuse don't happen to be in favor of this bloated cadaver of a Hey, who cares ifthe policy doesn't Viewpoint, 9/12/97) cries about the very popular. program over the past couple weeks. work? It's for diversity! I thought this need for "true discussion," which can It is time that we took power back Daily Editorial (9/8/97): "Equal­ rationale - who cares if it's wrong, only take place with affirmative ac­ from the racialists, back from the mad ity Threatened." it's for a good cause - was only be­ tion, apparently. My own personal administrators, back from the schem­ • "Forcing the University to serve lieved by fascist dictators. It is also favorite sentence in the Cover Every ing bureaucrats, and made things only a homogenous cross-section of "irrelevant" ifthe writer is not being Group Possible category is "the fact truly fair by instituting an admis­ white and privileged state residents screwed over by the policy at hand. that minority groups have been able sions and financial aid system that would leave graduates unprepared to • "American soci~ty is based com­ to transcend the difficulties of patri­ looked only at merit and need, not the face the working world." pletely on the individual. America - archal, racial, and prejudicial enslave­ color of one's skin. In typical Daily fashion, their unlike nations such as Japan or Af­ ment ... " Patriarchal enslavement? Affirmative action causes tension Editorial department has once again rica (sic) - has built a social ecosystem What is this garbage? and resentment by elevating certain produced this stunning example of around the concept of the individual It's also a high point when he racial and gender groups over others. idiotic, mindless drivel, as if the end over the group, rather than allowing contradicts himself with this little There are numerous problems for both of affirmative action would suddenly times where the group is more signifi­ snippet: "After all not everyone has those benefited by and harmed by cant than the individual." if. artistic ability and it's unfair that affirmative action. Finally, on a purely Benjamin Kepple is Editor-in-Chief Am I right in thinking this would this ability would be considered over moral level, it is wrong to elevate one olthe Review. He has been inflicting be the same Japan where Koreans, my high ACT score. I'm not saying racial group or gender group over his opinion on campus since January blacks, and "untouchables" are rou­ race is like artistic ability ... " He just another. I like to think that both 1996. E-mail him at tinely shunned and discriminated used it in his sentence to describe supporters and opponents of affirm a­ [email protected] against? This would be the same Af- affirmative action, as if Johnny Evil tive action would agree on that. l\R

'",,,,,",,,~w"''''''''~'''='~'"''''''''''''''''''<''>,~e __._~'I''''''''_' __IWIf\ .... _~'\'\~!H'" *' w"""""-"*"...... ,.,~_...... _____!1iI' 6 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 17, 1997 o TO HERE KNows WHEN U-M'sFree~,peech Dilemma

BY EVAN KNorr grounds that his right to freely and to have the effect of truth, by being Finally, consider the malicious openly enter into classroom discus­ exaggerate'd into falsehood." attack on the University's homosexual s STUDENTS AT THE UNI­ sion concerning controversial theo­ So how do Mill's lofty utilitarian community last fall when Nick Kirk versity of Michigan, we are ries about biologically based differ­ conceptions ofliberty and free expres­ and the College Republicans defaced A fortunate to live in an intellec­ ences between sexes and races might sion relate to problems of free speech the sidewalk chalkings of Michigan's tual and cultural environment com­ be sanctionable under the policy. In­ suppression at the University of chapter ofQUP during National Com­ prised of a vast diversity of people, deed, the courts ruled in favor of this Michigan? Consider these cases in ing Out Week. The College Republi­ ideas, and opinions. Theverypremise student's concerns in Doe v. Univer­ recent years. The Ku Klux Klan orga­ cans did not' exercise their right to of learning and communicating in our sity ofMichigan , citing that the policy nized a rally at city hall two summers respond to QUP's gay pride chalkings University community is founded on encompassed a large scope of poten­ ago to promote their agenda ofbigotry tastefully, but rather wrote hateful the highest regard for an open, ratio­ tial "verbal conduct" or "verbal be­ and ignorance to the people of Ann messages over top of them. The Uni­ nal, tolerant, respectful, and reflec­ havior" that is unquestionably pro­ Arbor. In response, militant mem­ versity went into shock the following tive arena for exchanging thought and tected under the First Amendment. bers of the National Women's Rights day, even prompting Interim Presi­ opinion. However, the climate that Furthermore, the very wording ofsuch Organizing Coalition (NWROC) and dent Homer Neal to condemn the ac­ was once ripe for the free exchange of a policy is extremely vague and poses other outraged community members tions in a letter to the Michigan Daily. ideas and thought on this campus has a stifling barrier in the pursuit of engaged a protest of the rally until a Many speculated about whether or started to deteriorate in the past de­ scientific knowledge similar to the violent riot broke out. In the after­ not members of the CRs would be cade. The roots of this decaying arena research conducted by Doe. math, members ofNWROC and other sanctioned under the Student Code of lie in the University's attempt to regu­ Defenders of speech regulation protestors declared outrage and trea­ Non-Academic Conduct or face expul­ late thought on campus through a contest the extent to which the First son against those in the community sion. None of the CRs were ever controversial speech code in the late Amendment applies to certain forms who did not join their efforts to sup­ formally reprimanded by the admin­ 1980's and extend all the way up to of expression, most often by claiming press the Klan's right to hold a rally. istration for its repugnant and un­ several recent incidents offree speech that racist and discriminatory sJ)eech 'ihe protestors attempt at creating a civilized display of disapproval ofthe policing on campus. is the functional equivalent of fight­ "you're either for us or you're against homosexuallifesty~. The University of Michigan's now ing words. The theory of fighting us" mentality instead demonstrated The CR chalking incident illus­ defunct speech code arose out of an words posits tla1!t'racist speech in­ just how hypocritical and foolish the trates an ideal scenario by which the increasing series ofracial harassment flicts injury, 'dampens dialogue and" protest became. NWROC's attempt "marketplace. of ideas" and free and incidents on campus. During 1987, mutual participation in deliberation, at promoting tolerance for people of open exchange of ideas and opinions fliers declaring "opf'n season n on and ultimately fosters submission by color in light of their blatant intoler­ govern civilized discourse in society. blacks were posted through the Diag its victims. ance for others' right to speak defies . It· did not take a University sanc- and a WCBN-FM disc jockey allowed Regardless of the pernicious ef­ logic. Furthermore, the content of tioned speech code to demonstrate racist jokes to be broadcast during a fects of hate speech in the Univetsity NWROC's message paled in compari­ the outrage felt by faculty and stu­ radio show. In response, the Univer­ community, the case involving son to their excessive actions, thus dents on campus to this unfortunate sity administration initiated a policy Michigan's speech code perfectly il­ leaving truth buried in the commo­ event. It did not take a formal Code that applied to "educational and aca­ lustrates the dangerous precedent tion of that hot summer day. The panel or an administrator's recom­ demic centers, such as classroom established through policing thought protestors would have been much mendation to expel members of the buildings, libraries, research labora­ and ideas in campus discourse. Un­ wiser to have expressed their senti­ CRs from the University for the Cor­ tories, recreation and study centers" fortunately, strict observance of the ments to the Klan rally through more lege Republicans to realize that their which subjected "any behavior, ver­ protections outlined in the First rational means such as letters to the methods of expressing their feelings bal or physical, that stigmatizes or Amendment forces us to confront Michigan Review or Daily. about homosexuals on campus were victimizes an individual on the basis ignorance and hatred so that legiti­ A short while after the Klan riot, not in the best interests ofthe group's of race, ethnicity, religion, sex, sexual mate deliberation and genuine inquiry a nearly identical incident of speech membership or efficacy in local poli­ orientation, creed, national origin, into matters can take place in our suppression on campus occurred when tics. ancestry, age, marital status, handi­ society. John Stuart Mill, in his clas­ several cowardly members ofthe "Ad While many places in this world cap or Vietnam-era veteran status" sic work On Liberty, cleverly argues Hoc Committee Against the Bullshit are ripe for the free exchange of ideas which involved "an express or implied that human liberty comprises "lib­ . in the Daily" decided £0 steal half of and opinions, few can foster an envi­ threat to an individual's academic erty of thought and feeling; absolute the Michigan Daily's circulation one ronment more conducive to free speech efforts, employment, participation in freedom of opinion and sentiment on morning last fall. The group, formed as a scholarly community such as the University sponsored extra-curricu­ all subjects, practical or speculative, out of a belief that the Daily was University of Michigan. As we strive lar activities or persollal safety [that] scientific, moral, or theological." filling its pages with racist content to learn and to teach from one another creates an intimidating, hostile, or Once an uncoerced marketplace and was not sympathetic to racial on campus, let us not forget the les­ demeaning environment for educa­ of opinions, ideas, and thought is es­ minority groups on campus, later held sons these recent speech incidents tional pursuits" to sanctions such as tablished, Mills argues, society pro­ a protest march to the Student Publi­ provide us. Mt sensitivity training, suspension, and tects ''the limits of reason and sanity" cations Building. Once gathered in even expulsion from the University. because all discourse is "expressed front of the Daily staff, they took To many at U-M, such a policy at with equal freedom, and enforced and turns burning issues and defiantly The Wealth of Nations first seems laudable and appropriate defended with equal talent and en­ defending their illegal actions. In The Spirit of the Laws for maintaining the integrity of the ergy, there is no chance of both ele­ effect, this factious group decided that academic community. However, ments obtaining their due; one scale the members of the University com­ Democracy In America events following the policy's imple­ is sure to go up, and the other down." munity were not fit for making their mentation demonstrated just how When speech and thought become own determinations about whether On Liberty undesirable a speech code is at Michi­ regulated, Mill reasons that "not the the content of the Daily was racist or The End of Racism gan, A psychology graduate student violent conflict between parts of the not. As a result, truth was once again specializing in biopsychology con­ truth, but the quiet suppression of ~mpromised to prejudice and the The Michigan Review tested the speech code in 1989 on the half of it, is the formidable evil; there childish leftists who staged the event is always hope when people are forced came offlooking like the foolish hypo­ Classics ofliberty, justice, and Evan Knott is a junior majoring in to listen to both sides; it is when they crites they are instead of presenting democracy. political science and is a Managing attend only to one that errors harden campus with a legitimate grievance Editor of the Review. into prejudices, and truth itself ceases worthy of redress. 647-8438

",",,,.",,, ... ,,,,,,,,,~,,,,,,,,>,,,,,,.... ""=,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,_~,_~_\O>._~. ____,__ ...... ~,____ --- ....--- ...... ------... September 17, 1997 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 7 o CAMPUS AFFAIRS Bollinger, Bark, &cMacKinnon, Oh Why?

By MATIHEW BUCKLEY AND LEE tor Alan Simpson noted during the Enter Catharine MacKinnon. The may be overreaction on Hazard's part, BOCKHORN hearings, Bork served on the D.C. University hired MacKinnon in 1992, it does raise a question ... ifU-Mis the Court of Appeals for six years, a court after after she floated through 7 first of eight schools to hire EW UNIVERSITY PRESI­ second only to the Supreme Court in schools in 10 years. MacKinnon is MacKinnon, is it possible that those dent Lee Bollinger is well­ importance. Bollinger himself noted known for her work with feminist involved saw the provocative, contro­ N known for his First Amend­ that the nominee's record in first legal theory, particularly for trying to versial, and Bork-like views of ment expertise. Any Internet search amendment matters was quite good. censor pornography. In her 1993 book, MacKinnon as a virtue? engine can find for you multiple col­ Why oppose him, then? Bollingerwor­ Only Words, MacKinnon sounds While MacKinnon will rarely be lege courses recommending his books ried about Bork's ability, on the high chords sure to ring chills in ACLU confused with Bork, their views on for hi; First Amendment stance. Court, to "create law." While judges bones. Viewing pornography as con­ freedom of expression are similar. Bollinger stresses an expansive view making law is a serious matter (a tributing to a climate of hostility to­ Though they emerge from different of the First Amendment, in which the point on which the conservative Bork wards women, MacKinnon would have perspectives, both MacKinnon and essence of free speech passes beyond would agree with Bollinger), this ar­ much constitutional protection for hay Bork find current First Amendment political speech and into other areas gument seems slightly off-base. If ing such material stripped. protection of pornography and other of artistic life. any court below the Supreme Court It's not every day that a law school material problematic. Given that most Over the course ofhis career, how­ can make law, it is the D.C. Court of hiring attracts attention in the New ofthe focus on the pair's FirstAmend­ ever, Bollinger has been linked to two Appeals, and in his tenure Bork did York Times, but MacKinnon's contro­ ment views revolves around their individuals who seriously disagree. not show such inclinations. versial appointment did. Joseph views on censorship and pornogra­ During the 1987 Supreme Court con­ This is not to say Bollinger's oppo­ Weiler, then a U-M law professor phy, in this respect they seem re­ firmation hearings of Robert Bork, sition of Bork was necessarily wrong. heading the appointments commit­ markably similar. Bollinger (then dean at the U-M law As Bollinger himself notE;!d, "[It's} in­ tee, called examining her work a This poses a question. If a flimsy, school) was a key witness opposing appropriate to regard being provoca­ "tr.nsformative experience." unestablished caseis eaough for Presi­ the conservative jurist. In 1992, still tive or challenging to conventional Bollinger also expressed his glowing dent Bollinger to have opposed the the law school's dean, he was integral views as necessarily being a virtue." ~upport, praising her as an innovator candidacy of an academically-gifted in the hiring of feminist legal theorist Bork was right-v.:jlrg, and Bollinger in the up-and-coming school offemi- jurist, why is a similar threat to First Catharine MacKinnon. What do the is certainly well-versed in First "'nist legal theory. Yale Law faculty Amendment freedom ignored during two cases tell us? Amendment law - if-he thinks Bork member Geoffrey Hazard saw the mat­ Catharine MacKinnon's search for a While clearly recognized as an posed a serious threat even after ter somewhat differently, noting"it is teaching position? Is this the sort of academic, Bork was very conserva­ Bork's assurances and legal record, not clear that [MacKinnon} has genu­ cq1l$istency that will mark President tive. With a largely laissez-faire atti- that is his area of expertise. ine comprehension ()flaw."While this Bollinger'S tenure'? Mt tude in economics combined with a social conservatism seen in his recent best-seller, Slouching toward U-M Needs America Reads? Gomorrah. Bork's nomination wlJUld have swung the Court rightward, and By MA'ITHEW BucKLEY over the next five years to fund the noted by various educational experts,­ his "borking" was applauded on the program; with some matching funds it is doubtful tutors with eight hours left. MERICA READS APPEARS and other resources, total funding for of experience will be able to aid chil­ Bollinger was one of the first to well on its way to becoming a America Reads will reach $2.75 bil­ dren without basic ,reading skills. testify against Bork. Limiting his re­ A tenet ofU-M's communityser­ lion. Assuming an average teacher Instead of focusing on the arguably marks to analysis of Bork's position vice. The Clinton education initia­ salaryof$40,000 a year, such funding more serious problem of kids not re­ on speech rights, Bollinger labelled tive, emerging as a campaign pledge could hire over 13,000 teachers over ceiving basic skills in schools, America Bork as a pro-censorship radical. in the August 1996 campaign skir­ the five years. Reads throws money into tutors for Bollinger made several comments mishes, is hitting campuses all over Notice that such an alternative children with less serious problems. about Bork's more restrictive First the country, with a goal of saving would give the country thousands It's also fair to note that a massive Amendment views: Bork had said on America's youth from the serious prob­ more teachers; America Reads cre­ expansion ofthe program is foreseen. several occasions that First Amend­ lem of illiteracy. ate& reading specialists and tutors. The Michigan Daily reports that while ment protection should be applied In what seems to be an education As America Reads national director the current program is using 85 stu­ mainly to expressly political speech. "two-fer ," workstudy students here at Carol Rasco noted in the New York dents, this number will need to rise to Bollinger argued that he opposed the the University will begin working with Times, eventually America Reads will 1,500 students to meet program re­ Bork nomination on (hese First over 150 children in Ann Arbor and in incorporate 30,000 reading special­ quiremen ts, about halfall work study Amendment grounds. a nearby suburb. With college stu­ ists teaching over a million tutors, students. Much ofthis expansion will Bollinger certainly had a point dents getting financially preferable who will proceed to spend time with probably be at the expense of more about Bork's paper trail. In law re­ workstudy packages and young chil­ over three million pupils. Though the traditional work-study jobs of record­ views and conferences, Bork made his dren learning literacy, the program U-M plan puts workstudy students keeping and other tasks. While no theoretical point that First Amend­ has the potential to help all ages of into direct teaching contact with young doubt these can be boring jobs, such a ment protection had gone beyond pa­ the educational spectrum. Yet there children, in general the program's tu­ switch in emphasis will either re­ rameters the Founding Fathers would are serious concerns about the effec­ tors will not work in the classroom. quire other students going from other have allowed. Yet Bollinger largely tiveness of the program. Rather, they will provide more read­ workstudy roles into the more clerical ignored points made by RepUblicans First, federal illiteracy programs ingtime for children outside the class­ tasks, or will result in the loss of this in the committee, which indicated that are nathing new. Even without the room, particularly on the weekends. U niversitywork force altogether. This the theoretical Bork often turned quite America Reads programs, the federal Interestingly, the America Reads could have some deleterious side ef­ mainstream in the practical affairs of government spends $8.3 billion dol­ program seems to be aimed at hitting fects on the University's efficiency, a judging. Bork noted during the hear­ lars on 14 different literacy programs. t.l;lOse kids with basic reading skills serious concern given the U-M's scale. ings that he would accept stated prin­ This is part of an education bureau­ who need some slight additional read­ There are al ternatives to a Clinton ciple in First Amendmen t areas, even cracy which spends close to $100 bil­ ing to gain somewhat more profi­ package of volunteerism and tutors. given his philosophical disagreement. lion a year in a staggering array of ciency. Yet this ignores the more While America Reads has laudable Getting to the nitty-gritty of ac­ programs in all types of education. serious problem of kids getting motives, it should not be expected to tual jurisprudence didn't favor The President has asked for fed­ through school without basic, much radically aid our nation's schools in Bollinger's position either. As Sena- eral funding of $1. 75 billion dollars less supplemental, reading time. As the fight against illiteracy. Ml. 8 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW Septembet;: 17,1997 o NATIONAL Focus: SMOKING AND THE STATES Where There's.. Smoke, There's Fire. • •

BY C.J. CARNACCHIO even a penalty of $80 million for each places have received a temporary ex­ elephants of society ready to trample percentage point by which the target emption. Business people should be over everyone's rights. Whenever the OBACCO IS STILL A LEGAL is missed. Tobacco companies cannot allowed to establish their own smok­ people are deprived of liberty based product in this country and and should not be held responsible for ing rules on their own property with­ on the rational that "it's for their own T yet its manufacturers, dis­ the choices individuals make of their out the the interference of the State. good," then no right is sacred and no tributors, and users are increasingly own free wilL If an underage youth The settlement's true agenda freedom is safe. Smoking has become being denied their rights and treated decides to take up smoking, the choice comes to light in the clause that al­ a badge of honor signifying one's re­ as if they· were criminals. Cigarette is his alone and no one else can be held lows the Food and Drug Administra­ fusal to submit to the health fascists' companies are being black-mailed, accountable, not even the evil Joe tion to regulate nicotine as a drug but social tyranny. over-regulated, and demonized. Camel and that desperado the not ban it from cigarettes before 2009. The war over tobacco is not just a Smokers are forced to endure open Marlboro Man. Doesn't individual This is a clear first step toward the battle to be waged by smokers alone. persecution and government spon­ responsibility count for anything any­ eventual prohibition oftobacco. With It's a fight that demands the atten­ sored discrimination. The big tobacco more? the FDA being able to define a drug as tion ofall liberty loving people. Rarely settlement of June 20,1997, which is Another facet of the June settle­ any substance "intended to affect the is freedom lost all at once. It's gradu­ about to go before Congress, repre­ ment included even more restrictive structure of the body of man," the ally stripped away. At first, it's the sents a most frightful encroachment regulations governing tobacco adver­ agency has been able to overstep its seemingly insignificant things such ofthe paternalistic State on industry tising. All of which are blatant viola­ boundaries and usurp power left and as smoking. But it's the smallest and individual liberties. tions of the· First Amendment. To­ right. Of course, it was the FDA's freedoms, the day-to-day choices The settlement basically boils bacco companies will bebarred from highly questionable definition ofciga­ about our own lives, that affect us the down to the federal government ex­ advertising on billboards, using hu­ rettes as "drug delivery devices" that most. As the French political ob­ torting money from an industry that man and cartoon figures in ads, ad­ gave them the authority over the ciga­ server Alexis de Tocqueville wrote, manufactures a legal product. To­ vertising on the Internet, sponsoring rette inudstry in the first place. With "It must not be forgotten that it is bacco companies will be forced to pay sporting events, merchandising, anti such broad sweeping definitions and especially dangerous to enslave men $368.5 billion in the first 25 years product placement in movies and TV. power, soon the FDA will be regulat­ in the minor details of life. For my after the settlement and then $15 If a product is legal to sell, then it ing the fat content in your Big Mac own part, I should be inclined to think billion a year indefinitely. I thought should be1egal to advertise. 1f the and the sugar in your Twinkie. freedom is less necessary in great only the Mafia did this sort of thing. government is allowed to place these After smoking has been elimi­ things than in little ones, if it were The forty State Attorney generals severe limitations on the speech of nated, just what will be next? A ban possible to be secure of the one with­ claim that they and their states are tobacco companies in the name of on unhealthy foods. A return to Pro­ out the other." l\'R merely seeking reimbursement for public welfare, what's to stop them hibition. Mandatory exercise p.re· Medicaid funds spent on patients with from eventually doing this to the me­ grams for a nation of couch potatoes. alleged smoking related illnesses. Will dia, political groups, and even indi­ As the great columnist H.L. Mencken these attorney generals also go after viduals on the same grounds? once observed, "You know the type as fast-food chains and liquor compa­ In the past year the Supreme well as I do ... Give him Prohibition, WE'RE nies for all the health costs they have Court decided a case which dealt with and he launches a new crusade against • racked up in heart disease, liver dis­ advertising restrictions. Rhode Is­ cigarettes, coffee, jazz, and custard ease, and drunk-driving accidents? land had a law that banned the adver­ pies." How far are we willing to let the BACK! The message is clear. Individuals tising ofliquor prices. The state was State and fanatical do-gooders dic­ aren't repsonsible for their actions, attempting to reduce liquor consump­ tate policy on our personal habits? This summer, the staff ofThe manufacturers are. Consumers are tion through the ban. A retail store The anti-smokers want us to surren­ Michigan Review moved its just victims.' that sold alcohol, 44 Liquormart, sued der all notions of personal responsi­ office back from the confines But as the politicians and law­ Rhode Island claiming the ban vio­ bility in favor of an ideology of victim- yers greedily wait to carve up their lated its First Amendment rights. In ization. To them, we are a nation of of the Perry Building to our ill-gotten gains, it must be remem­ a 9 to 0 decision, the Court sided with children that just don't know any bet­ Modern Corporate Office bered that smokers who will be forced the store and struck down the ban as ter. When an indiviudal surrenders suite in The Michigan to pay for the deal through price in­ unconstitutional. Hopefully, this case his personal reponsibility he surren­ League, where we bask in creases. In the ultimate irony, smok­ will strike a blow for the tobacco ders his freedom as well. climate-controlled luxury. ers will be made to pay for anti­ industry:s rights as well. The act of smoking is a personal smoking propaganda which portrays The anti-smokers claim these and private choice. Only someone of Well, maybe not, but we have them as social outcasts. In addition, advertising bans are necessary to curb a totalitarian mindset could conceive moved. smokers will be coerced into paying underage smoking. But in other na­ of depriving others of that choice and $25 billion to provide health care for tions the restrictions have proved in­ dictating their personal habits. But Our phone is now: uninsured children. Since when did effective. In 1975 Norway banned all the health Nazis are the self-ap­ the nation's uninsured children be­ tobacco advertising and today its pointed and self-righteous guardians 647-8438 come the responsibility of smokers? smoking rate exceeds the United of civilization, sent here to save us When did smokers collectively decide States by a third. Canada banned all from ourselves. They won't let little to tackle the country's health care tobacco advertising in 1989 and there things like the Constitution and civil Our office is now at: problems? This reeks oftaxation with­ has been no significant effect on its liberties interfere with their higher out representation. smoking rate which still exceeds the purpose. Fanatics always view indi­ 911 N. University, Suite One The part of the settlement that is u.s. These bans serve as little more vidual freedoms as merely annoying Ann Arbor, MI 48109 most blatantly extortion is the clause than political tools devoid of sub~ obstacles in their relentless march that states that the tobacco industry stance. toward Utopia. This is on the third floor of is subjected to fines if youth smoking The State's relentless assault on The anti-smoking crusaders have The Michigan League, near does not drop 30 percent in five years private property rights is also included carefully camouflaged their assault the rest of the student and 60 percent in ten years. There's in the settlement. The deal bans on personal freedom under such ban­ smoking in public places and most ners as public safety and "saving the offices. C. J. Carnacchio enjoys smoking, like workplaces that do not have sepa­ children." By allowing them to run most olus here in the newsroom. He is rately ventilated smoking areas. Ca- amuck using these political Trojan a staff writer lor the Review. . sinos; restaurants, bars, and bingo . horses, they' n

',.>""+~~i'lli;I"l'~JOel'j''lfIll:i$ ~",...... ~~"" __.... ___ _ September 17,1997 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 9 DSPORTS Wolverine Ice Hockey 101

BY ROBERT WOOD thirteen seasons, with a 335-175-29 against the Wolverines during the grudge match. Enjoy it; I know I will. record. He will start his fourteenth regular season last year. That's okay, The last huge game of the season O, YOU THINK YOU'RE A season at the helm on October 10, at the fans are sure to have a nice, will be against Lake Superior State Wolverine, eh, incomingfrosh. Minnesota. He has guided our hockey friendly welcome for them when they University, on February 28th. Lake S You've started classes. You've program to the NCAA tourney for the drop by next month. State and Michigan are the Titans of had your books for a couple of weeks past seven straight seallons and has The second home game you most the CCHA, right now. It's kinda like now. Heck, maybe you've even learned led us to the Final Four in five of the definitely will not want to miss is the the UMiOSU football game each year. how to sing the refrain to "The Vic­ Minnesota game, on November 28th. Be there or be ... well, on spring break. tors." Not bad. You're getting there. I This team is always a powerhouse, This ought to be an interesting bet you even look forward to your first and like Michigan has a long winning year in Michigan hockey. You can't set of midterms (the "wait11- they­ Time for some bad news. At the tradition. While there is no Big Ten in count the Wolverines out of the title getta-Ioad-of-me," Joker mentality). end oflast season, Michigan lost nine college hockey, and Michigan is not hunt this year, even after graduating Just be sure you don't miss one of the starting seniors. Lucky for us, we've even in the same conference as the the seniors they did since last season. most fun things of being a sports fan got these four guys (along with sev­ Golden Gophers, this is still a bit of a They still have the necessary punch atU ofM. But you say, "We've already eral other stars) to keep the jugger­ rivalry. Each team is out for blood. in the right areas to be a force to be been to our first home football game," naut alive this season. In no particu­ Speaking of blood, the January reckoned with, and the fan base here of course. Well, yes, football is right lar order, we have: 9th Bowling Green game ought to be in Ann Arbor to scare the absolute on up there. I love a good gang tackle Marty Turco, a 6 foot tall, 171- a frenzy. Last season, when the two bejesus out of their opponents. Join in as much as the next guy. What I was Ib senior, to start in goal. He's been a teams met in Ann Arbor, it wasn't a the fun. Mt referring to was (for those of you brick wall for the Wolverines for the game; it was all-out war. Fun to watch, who've been here awhile, all at once last two stellar years. He has a career too. This year will make a hell of a now, 1 ... 2 ... 3)HOCKEYTICKETS!!! save percentage of .894 and a career That's right, ladies and gentlemen. win percentage of. 783, with a goals­ Hockey tickets went on sale the 8th, against average of2.38. Yikes .. ~Pick on Someone and are going fast. Next, there's Matt Herr. He's a Now, Yost Ice Arena doesn't seat 6'2", 194-lb left wing. He finished sec­ the 105,000 people Michigan Stadium ond on the teamlll scoring, last sea- .~ :ioes, and it doesn't have Robert son. He has 58 goals and 44 assists in Your Own Size! !'raylor or the hardwood floors of the three seasons ae's been here. He's Crisler Arena. It does, however, pro- the B.M.O.C., along with Turco this

vide a haven for the most hard-eore, year. He's also the team captain, ready BY RoBERT WOOD couldn't at least share the title. rowdy, spirited bunch of Wolverines to lead our maize and blue troops into Both Steve Spurrier and Tom and Wolverine fans this side of the the fray. LORIDA GATORS' HEAD Osborne have shown, time and again, Mackinac Bridge. If you want loud Then, we've got Greg Crozier. Coach Steve Spurrier must their utter lack of respect for their fans, it's got the loudest and best. If This 6'3", 199-lb left wing has the F be feeling pretty good about opposition. No, these scores not only you want fast, hard-hitting guys in capacity to be a real force on the ice. If himself right now. A six-year, $11.8 indicate a lack of respect on the parts helmets and pads, it's got the fastest you're on the opposing team, you'd million dollar contract can do that to of Spurrier and Osborne for their op­ and toughest. If you want NCAA na­ better watch him, because he'll either a guy. Ofcourse, being paid that much ponents, but also for the opposing tional championships, we've got eight. score through you, pass through you, money and being worth it are two teams' head coaches, hard-working If you want to be a true Wolverine, or plow through you. Even after a entirely different things. It's true,he players, athletic programs, and insti­ with all the rights and privileges broken forearm kept him out of ten is an exceptional football coach and tutions in general, they also indicate thereof, you've GOT to order your games last year, he came back and his coaching skills are what his em­ a lack of respect for the game itself. tickets. Hell, if you even want split­ provided three assists in the very next ployer pays him for. His team is de­ "It's horrible. I think it's very degrad­ season tickets like you got for the game, along with two goals in the fending its national championship this ing for teams like Akron and Sam football season, you'll probably get game after that. In his two seasons year, he's won five SEC titles, and his Houston State and stuff to get waxed those, too. with Michigan, he's scored 19 goals, starting quarterback from last year's 84-6. This game is a lot more than Are you excited yet? Are ya ready and had 25 assists. championship team won the Heisman just winning. It's about sportsman­ for more? Well, here's a primer on the Finally, rounding out my top four Trophy. As a coach, he may be worth ship and playing the game right," important points to remember for the is Bubba Berenzweig, a 6'1", 200- that much money. As a man, how­ according to Ricky Williams, running upcoming season: lb, evil-lookin' defenseman. He's got ever, he is not worth one red cent. 82- back for Texas. The Coacb: GQrdon "Red" the bulk to be an enforcer for the 6. That was the score Mr. Spurrier "We don't do that at Colorado, and Berenson Wolverines, and just needs to be decided was necessary to eke out a honestly, I think teams should be Coach Berenson is one of the all­ pushed the slightest bitfurther to snap. victory against the mighty Central embarrassed about doing it," agreed time greats in Michigan hockey, both He's been relatively calm so far (only Michigan University Chippewas. If John Hesseler, Colorado's starting :is a player and a coach. In just three 17 total penalty minutes), but one any other word than obscene comes to QB. 3easonsatMkhigan,from 1959-1962, can't help but grin at the possibility of your mind, you probably still beat up Generally, the problem starts with h.e scored 78 goals and had 59 assists, him going into a berzerker rage on freshmen for lunch money. scheduling. While teams like our in III minutes played. In 21 seasons some poor opposing forward who just 59-14 was the score, when those Michigan can take pride in regularly .n the NHL (five with Detroit), he had happened to be in the wrong place at great sportsmen, the Nebraska scheduling non-conference games 397 assists and 261 goals (6 in one the wrong time, with his stick just a Cornhuskers played Akron. This, of with the likes of Colora~ and Notre ?ame). bit too high. course, is nothing new. Nebraska has Dame, teams like Florida and Ne­ As a coach, he was head coach of Did I say time for some bad news? been running up scores since the year braska are careful not to schedule ;he St. Louis Blues for three seasons, Home Schedule Highlights they won their first national title un­ those types of games. They look at the ;ompiling a .559 win percentage, and The important home games to at­ der Tom Osborne, in the '94-'95 sea­ bottom line: wins and losses. Why HiS coached the Maize--and-Blue for tend this year (as if you didn't want to son. The pollsters didn't seem to mind. show your pride in your program by Robert Wood is Sports Editor of the attend them all, home and away, by That was the same year Penn State Review and as a Senior in Aerospace now) start with perennial ri val Michi­ went undefeated without obliterat­ Engineering, has obviously spent way gan State, on October 25th. They were ing all oftheir lesser opponents. JoPa See PICK on Page 11 too much time in the wind tunnels. the only team to pull off two wins was just a bit miffed that his team

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candybar binges and attempts to con­ BY KRISTINA CURKOVIC on the dole and spending their days in others, and, in some terrificly funny the career office or bumming about, scenes, whether they'll be able to con­ ceal his bulges are both amusing and TRIPPING IS ESSEN­ former steel workers Gaz (Robert quer those tricky dance moves (set to pitiable; all of which cummulates tially about bodies: the dis­ Carlyle of Trainspotting) and Dave a great soundtrack that includes Sis­ when he is finally on stage, and the S play, the showing-off, and the feel hopeless until they sneak into a ter Sledge aQd Tom Jones). Their in­ surprise he feels there is liberating ogling of bodies. So when ladies-only Chippendales' securities, while sometimes emo­ for himself and for the audience. The moviemakers set out to present a pre­ perfomance. Having discovered what tional, are the source of the movie's other characters-like Horse, a near­ sentable movie about stripping, beau- they see as an easy way to make some funniest moments; however, for all elderly man whose dance repetoire is fast money, the pair decide to form the hilarity, the film is not cruel to its a little outdated; odd, red-haired their own group of dancers. And then characters, and we come to realize Lomper who transforms from suicidal The Full Monty the fun begins, for stripping in front of that the men need to present their to happily in love; and sexy, well­ Directed by Peter Cattaneo. the ladies isn't quite thejoyride they'd performance not only for the money, endowed Guy, who's the only one in Featuring Robert Carlyle, Mark anticipated. In order to draw a crowd but to rescue themselves from a deeper the group with no problems baring it Addy. as big as that of the Chippendales, misery built on problems of trust, all-are each unique, and the interac­ Hot Metal (as the group hails itself) self-loathing and loneliness. tion and friendships between them tiful bodies are a necessity-enter fig­ realizes they need something extra­ Granted, the movie is not a deep are believable and fun. ures Demi Moore in the recent bomb something that even the Chippendales one, and the comedy is often based on So forget, if you haven't already, Striptease, and actresses in the simi­ don't have. They'll have to go the full one of the most basic sources of com­ Striptease and Showgirls: here is a larly dismal Showgirls. Now, with monty-that is, take it all off, and in edy: body parts. Yet this is an intel­ hilarious, unembarrasingmovie about the arrival of yet another movie based a way so cleverly choreographed the ligent, well-organizedfilm, with quick stripping, in which the characters' on intricate removal of clothing, we theater audience claps and cheers as looks into each of the characters lives final performance is on the scale of have a delightfully different scenario: heartily as the one within the movie. . that never stray too far from the story classics like Dirty Dancing and Strictly men, whose less-than-perfect bodies However, the road toward even- ~ or distract us from the real purpose of Ballroom. Its ingenuity lies in the set the pace for a near-perfect En­ tual infamy is a rocky one, for while their actions. The characters them­ fact thatThe Full Monty isn't about glish comedy, The Full Monty. all ofthem desperately need the mon€y selves are priceless and well-played, displaying physical perfection, or Welcome to once-thriving for variousre'asons, they still hav~ to especially Dave (Mark Addy), whose about phenomenal dancing; it's a suc­ Sheffield, where optimistic industry cope with problems ofself-esteem and weight problem makes him insecure cessful moyie about personal triumphs crumbles under gloomy unemploy­ embarrasment; wondering if they're but still cute. His disappointment that defies conventions and rips some ment and personal misery. Surviving too big in some spots and too small in with himself is evident, and his secret clothes off in the process, too.l\R

r'"'~ Everybody Play The Game

BY MAITHEW BUCKLEY Consumer Recreations Services, a to keep an audience involved with "application," Douglas gives a look of company which, in Conrad's ominous plot rather than loads ofall-out action disgust that perfectly fits the scene: HAT EXACTLY IS IT words, "makes your life fun." bonanzas. one of Thomas Wolfe's Masters of the that is so frustrating with Van Orten takes Conrad up on The ending is deftly handled, Universe, used to getting his way, W boredom, particularly the the offer, and the story gets under­ though improbable, and the total rebuffed. No Oscars for Douglas, but boredom that comes with great ac­ way. As a series of seemingly inno­ script is really quite an accomplish­ definitely an entertaining role. complishmenU Maybe it's a matter of cent accidents quickly escalates into ment. Two of the writers, John Sean Penn, enjoying lots of recent realizing that Me simply can't throw near-misses with serious bodily harm, Brancato and Michael Ferris, are tak­ acclaim for Dead Man Walking, is more challenges at you; maybe hav­ Van Orten quickly finds himself al­ ing a big step up from their previously also solid as the cocky, troubled ing nothing to do gives you time to most clueless as to his situation. What biggest movie, The Net. As for An­ Conrad. As the emotional opposite to brood upon your life's little personal was believed to be "fun" turns into an drew Walker, he already has experi­ Douglas' Van Orten, Penn gets to do a agonies. elaborate mess. ence both with endings with a twist requisite bit ofscreaming and yelling. In David Fincher's new thriller, Just exactly who can be trusted and with director David Fincher as a Lots of this is due to the lines, but The Game, Nicholas Van Orten is, of course, all up in the air. The member of the dark thriller Seven. Penn is good and does his job well. (Michael Douglas) is one very suc­ alluring Christine (Deborah Kaye Fincher has quite a distinctive Fincher really succeds with cessful, very bored man. A shrewd Unger) seems friendly enough, but directing niche. The Game, likeSeven, Unger, whose usual role is that of a businessman holding the reins of a when it dawns on Van Orten that the is a movie that requires repeat view­ static, "attractive blonde" who does prosperous family business, Van entire "game" could be a setup to ing to completely "get." Both movies nothing while other people evolve and Orten walks through high-rolling fi­ fleece him and his company for $600 have a very jarring, dark quality. change. In both Keys to Tulsa and nancial days to come home to a hulk­ million in pension money, Christine's Scenes are often amazingly dark with Crash, she basically sat there while ing shell of a house, watching endless motives are suspect. Even the true hostile flourescent lighting, or at best James Spader and Eric Stoltz went financial news telecasts before retir­ intentions of Conrad are unclear .. , is dim lights with little warmth at all. through their headlining roles. Here, ing to wake again. The suicide of his he trying to help Nicholas have a good Fincher, ~ho is slated to do some though, Unger gets to shift character father during his youth and his own time, or is he caught in something far work with the new Star Wars movies roles a little bit; she takes a role not wrecked marraige consume his deeper? in 1999, is really an interesting talent unlike that of Sharon Stone in the thoughts, klrning a life of subsidized The Game clicks in a lot of ways. doing interesting projects. convoluted Total Recall and plays it ennui into a very private hell. As a grand conspiracy movie, Fincher also does a fine job with about twice as well. Birthdays for lonely people are screenwriting is clutch: either by his actors. I t probably helps that some The Game is a twisted flick - never fun, and Van Orten's is no dif­ ditracting the audience or by being of them need remarkably little help. don't sit there with a huge beverage ferent, receiving calls and well-wish­ properly intricate in the plot, one has As the repressed Van Orten, Michael and run to the bathroom six times; ing from those he cares nothing about. to keep the audience suspending their Douglas goes from brooding to venge­ you11 end up missing stuff. Sit back Lunch with dysfunctional brother disbelief without making them scoff. ful to scared with definite skill. In one and watch Fincher do his stuff .. , this Conrad (Sean Penn) launches Van The screenwriters here do that in scene, when he hears that Cons1lJller beats the "summer blockbusters" Orten into applying for a slot with remarkably good fashion, and are able Recreation Services has rejected his hands down. Ml

. ( 11 >"'"

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they're in this weird limbo. I think it when that song ("Push") got huge. It SUPERCHUNK would be hard to taste that super­ actually made me feel better about PICK what we are doing. God, I hate to stardom, and then BAM-it's gone. I CONTINUED from page 9 CONnNUED from page 12 would rather not taste it at all. sound like a jerk. Jon: Yep, You know their next MR: If you hate 99 percent of MR: What has made album is going to come out and sell the stuff you hear, what do you Superchunk successful, above scheduling top 20 teams, when you half of what

><'.>.">'"''''"''''''~'''''''''''''''8't'''N(..''''''n',.,r;~~''·=''''''~'''">,,,,,,>,,~.,,,",-,,.,,_,'lO)->,,,,,,,,,»'Jl~~~'-',"1~,'W'J;'I;m'\,;~;;~~~,,,:,<~~;o:;;&;~,~~'" l" ,'" I ';" : .. - . -.----'---...,....~-. .- - ---...- ,,-. --- .... ,-- . - - - - .. ------...... --;- '.• ,1 .,' i12 J ,";" . -;, , i' MICHIGAN REVIEW LIVING CULTURE September 17, 1997 .. - :":--"--" .. -~------.. --.- ._-..-.. _._-_...... -.. -".-.... -.-.- --.-- - .... -.-...----~. 9V,(lL5ic ' Superchunk:.Qn Their Own Terms

BY CHRIS HAYES

UPERCHUNK IS EVERY indie rocker's hero, They have S been playing since before this decade on their own terms, No large labels, no hype, no bull shit. They have made a living doing what they want without anyone controlling there strings. This month, Superchunk released their eighth LP, Indoor Living, on their own Merge Records out of their home town of Chapel Hill, North Caro­ lina. The Review was fortunate enough to have the chance to talk to Jon Wurster of Superchunk about/n­ door Living, as well as life and rock and rolL

MR: What's been going on? Jon: Not much. Doing errands and preparing for the upcoming. on­ slaught of rocking. Superchunk (from left): Laura Ballance, Jon Wurster, Jim Wilbur, and Mac McCaughan MR: When do you guys nit the road? done in t}:ut past? I think it is alot He then stated that as long as feeding frenzy after Nirvana. Where Jon: Not until the first of October. different' than the stuff yoU"put songs are well written, things will are any of them now? There are only We have a couple of pre-tour shows out five yeQ,rs back. What were fall into place for you guys. Now a handful who have sold any more coming up we need to get ready for. you looking to accomplish with with the massive talk of rock albums than they would have if they There are a couple here in Chapel this album? changing into an electronic age were on the label they started on. Hill, one at Duke, and one in New Jon: Consciously, we weren't try­ ana ··Inale rOCK" on the way.: out;' ';ure, there is the instant gratifi­ York City. ing to do anything, really. It just came what is your reaction to- tWs, and cation of 'We got money up front.' And MR: So what have you been out the way it came out. We never sat howis Superchunk changing with then you make your record and it doing since you finished Indoor down and stated what we wanted to these trends? doesn't do as well as the label thought Living? do or how we wanted this record to Jon: 1 guess 1 would only consider it would. Then you record your next Jon: We've been doing a lot of sound. Mac had some ideas for key­ ourselves indie rock in that we are record and you realize there is a new press, and we filmed a video that is boards, whichlwasallfor. We wanted independent. band that the label likes a lot more still getting edited ... to experiment a bit and we had time to I was listening to the college radio and they are more of a priority. Then MR: That's for "Watery try out some new sounds and new yesterday and heard these two songs you're kinda low man on the totem Hands," right? instrumentation. It was hit or miss. that sounded like the typical indie pole. Then most likely your A&R guy Jon: Yeah. And the release date Some things worked and some didn't, rock sound to me - not so much leaves and you get a new A&R guy of the album,got\ pushed back a week but there was no real game plan. The distorted guitar as atonal. You know who is assigned you and of course he because of the UPS strike. So if all songs are a little slower, but there are it when you hear it. It's like the de­ isn't into you. So you're screwed. 1 goes well, it hopefully will be out on the trademark faster numbers. I think scription of pornography: 'I know it think we saw that as a great possibil­ the 9th. We're playing Detroit on the on a whole it is our best record - I when I see it.' ity of happening. 25th of October. know everybody says that, but I am Music is cyclical. There always There is a local station here and I MR: Where at? very pleased the way it turned out. I has to be new things coming. No genre don't want to be a jerk, but 1 hate 99 Jon: The Magic Stick. I've heard mean, it sounds like Superchunk, but can have a lasting surge for more percent of the stuff I hear on it. These good things about that place; What's it sounds like Superchunk a step fur­ than five years, it seems. It is getting bands get signed and sure they get a it like? ther. even quicker now because the public's hit right off the bat, but - like this MR: It's pretty cool. It's quain t. This is the first album we have attention span is getting shorter and band Matchbox 20. Are we even going Jon: You're in Ann Arbor, right? ever made that I actually listen to by shorter. to be hearing from these guys in four MR: Yeah. choice. In the past I would play a I think we aTe our own band and years? Jon: We played the Blind Pig once. record to remember how to play a whatever happens, happens. MR: It is just like what hap­ MR: What do you enjoy more: song. With Indoor Living, I want to MR: The goal for most bands pened a decade ago. I still stand Recording or playing live? listen to it. I think the songs are really is to get a major record deal and by a few glamour rock bands, but Jon: I actually get more satisfac­ good and on a whole it really works. I get big. Superchunk has stayed for a while there were so many tion out of recording. Strange, be­ hate to say 'I think it is really ma­ on Merge and turned down major big hair bands who hit big with a cause playing live you get that imme­ tun~,' but in a way it is. It is obvious label offers. Why did you guys single, but then fell of the face of diate gratification. But for me, hear­ that the people who made it aren't chose the route you did? the earth because they sucked. ing something back that soundsre­ kids anymore."",. There is more to the Jon: On a personal note, I was in The same thing is happening now. ally good on tape is a little more excit­ songs than before. The songs are writ- a band about ten years ago that was Jon: Like your homies Sponge. ing. ten better and we experimented more. on a major label. It was a total disas­ MR: Or the Verve Pipe. MR: How do you think this They are more memorable that way. ter. I mean, we never even finished Jon: That's right! Yeah, they are record differs from what you have MR: I read in an interview our record. I kinda got a 'worse case the standard bearer, 1 guess. with Mac a few years ago where scenario' there. MR: The ballad sells. Chris Hayes is Music Editor of the he stated that he didn't think any­ We just knew that in the long run Review and strives to get his foot in one was going to do anythingrevo­ it wasn't worth it. Look at all the the door of the cool indie rock scene. lutionary in the genre of music. bands who got major deals in the CONTINUED on Page 11