THE MICHIGAN REVIEW Volume 16, Number 1 The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan September 17, 1997 Couzens Hall Remodeling Crisis BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE covers." identified, said that "the light switch fected by the construction would re­ In addition, Malarney also noted [in his room) is' wired completely ceive any monetary compensation, OR THE RESIDENTS OF the lack of bathroom facilities in the wrong," leaving his overhead Zeller replied that "we aren't doing Couzens Hall, the completion 1100 and 2100 Corridors of Couzens flourescent lamp and his mirror lamp that," noting the project would hope­ F of a costly remodeling plan HalL "We have to go to the the third tied to the same switch. fully be completed within the next meant that most students would be couple weeks. the beneficiaries of newer furniture, As for the remodeling project it­ new lighting, and a better paint job ih self, it is proceeding slowly but surely, their room . New curtains, floor tiles, although behind schedule. and carpeting would make the rooms As of press time, carpeting sched­ and hallways far more cheerful and uled to be installed in the noo, 1200, more enjoyable to live in. and 1300 Corridors of Couzens Hall There was just one problem: the during SeptemberlO through 12 had 1100 Corridor of Couzens Hall was not yet been installed. Tile installa­ not yet fmished. It is still not finished, tion, which was to be completed Sep­ two weeks after the beginning of tember 9 in the 2200 Corrid<lr and classes. And residents are not at all near Couzens Hall ' mailboxes, was pleased about the situation. also not yet completed as of press ''I'm paying $6,300 for this room time. Radiator grills were scheduled and I ain't getting s_!" said Eric ·to be installed over heating boxes on . Malarney, one ofthe beleaguered resi­ Monday, September 15 and Tuesday, dents on the 1100 Corridor. "It's just September 16. A fire alarm system is pathetic." still being installed as of press time. "Welcome Freshmen!" And you.thought your dorm was bad. At the beginning of September, · Couzens Hall staffers have been work­ ',vhen most students arrived at floor to take a shower." His reason for not wanting to be ing around-the-clock on "fire watches," Couzens, the 1100 Corridor ofCouzens His next door neighbor, LSA identified? He didn't want to deal with in case a fire does occur, and smoke Hall could reasopably be compareQ"to. sophomo~e Pav~ Guernsey, was .also .. having the University come and fix deteetorsin rOotD$ and tecycliQg clos- .. the run-down .. ". .' . the problem, figuring that would re­ ets are operational. state housing quire more work and take more time . ... And hopefully, the project will be projects from that he didn't have. worth it. "My room is nicer than last Stanley Bill Zeller, Director of Housing year, I will say that," Guernsey said. Kubrick's filmA for the University, said ofthe Couzens However, it remains to be seen how Clockwork Or­ Hall project that "we hope to have long the 1100 Corridor will take.to be ange. Tiling and that completed soon." When asked in a state nicer than that of last year. carpeting were! whether Couzens Hall residents af- 1m. absent from the' .J hallways, leav­ ing residents to walk on the con­ INSIDE! crete slab. The ,(\{ • Page 3 features a story by Evan • Staffer C.J. Carnacchio takes '~" :' . slab itself was ',c-'" Knott on the upcoming affirma­ · a look at the smoking deal on page ,~, '~.~.' dirty and cov­ tive action lawsuit against the Uni­ 8. ered with saw­ versity. dust, dirt, and • Sports Editor Robert Wood de bri s. Wood L.'_ _______"'-- • Editor-in-Chief Benjamin brings you a preview of the upcom­ scraps and Some showering facilities at Couzens Hall are "out of order." Kepple returns with another in­ ing U-M Ice Hockey Season on standing water stallment of "Lost In The Eight­ page 9! He also examines the quite were present. Temporary lighting was displeased. "Four months [ofconstruc­ ies TM" and blasts the defenders of disturbing phenomena of really, the only lumination in the hallways. tion) and they still don't have this affirmative action. See page 5. really, really lopsided football The bathroom facilities were com­ part done. I love climbing three flights games. pletely useless, forcing residents to . of stairs to take a shower." • Join Managing Editor Evan hike up to the third floor. Guernsey, a member ofthe March­ Knott as he takes a look at free • Arts Editor Kristina Curkovic Malarneys reaction upon first ar­ ing Band, also complained that due to speech here at the U-M in his new reviews "The Full Monty," while riving to his as-yet uncompleted cor­ construction he was unable to move column, "To Here Knows When," Matt Buckley plays "The Game." ridor was "What the hell is this?" into his room on time. debuting on page 6 . See page 10. "I knew they were doing construc­ "I got here Friday, the 22nd of tion, but my God! We had no carpet, August, and I was told I could not get • Managing Editor Matt Buckley • And Music Editor Chris Hayes we had no tile. The floor was cement, into my room until the 25th. It wasn't examines the connection between presents U-M music fans with an and dirty. There was a two-by-six and until that following Friday that I was , Robert Bork, Catherine exclusive interview with indie a puddle of water in front of my door," -able to move into my room." Guernsey I MacKinnon, and Lee Bollinger on rock band Superchunk. See page he said. Inside the room, he said, it lived in Alice Lloyd until Couzens was I page 7. 12. was also uncompleted. "There was a completed. hole in my ceiling. We had no register One resident, who declined to be ... ALL THIS AND MORE ... INSIDE! >'"''''''''''-''~ __'' ' __ '~' ___ <_>M' '' ~_~",~,,, '"""'''_ _ ,.. ••'' _ __." _ _ __~ ..,_'"'~>'' ~ '~m _ _ ~._ .' ___'''''''' ..__ 2 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 17, 1997 E MICHIGAN REVIEW The Campus Affairs Journal of the SERPENT'S TOOTH ' . University of Michigan o '"':ts-<'"' "OOOOOH! NAVY SEALS!I" EDITORIAL BOARD Tempers flared at the last NWROC Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Benjamin Kepple Dina Anastasia, a Campus Consult­ MANAGING EDITOR: Matthew Buckley meeting as it degenerated into a large ing Sites manager for lTD, recently President Mike N agran t recen tly pro­ MANAGING EDITOR: Evan Knott fracas. Participants, working to save said "In computers, nothing ever stops claimed that the University should ARTS EDITOR: Kristina Curkovic affirmative action ona national scale, changing. It's a constant cycle of up­ not only support racial diversity, but got into a drawn-out imbroglio over grades and improvements." Oh, re­ also intellectual diversity. What is EDITORIAL STAFF the order which minority groups woule ally? Why is it then, that: this, an implicit demand for more ASSISTANT EDITOR: Lee Bockhom be listed on their flyer in defense of dumb blondes and Kinesiology ma­ SPORTS EDITOR: Rob Wood affirmative action. This however, is a • Pagemaker is completely shot on jors on campus? MUSIC EDITOR: Chris Hayes Astrid Phillips step up from the NWROC meetings of the Macintosh machines? ILLUSTRATOR: last year, when NWROC members The Nectarine Ballroom has recently STAFF WRITERS: Simon Einspahr, Calvin Hwang, left their imperialist Wendy's food for • lTD knows full well that certain been the focus of racially charged in­ Nora Obringer, Maureen Simal. Jamie Smith. Nate the proletariat to clean up. Ah, what software is installed improperly and cidents involving students and Necto Teismann. glorious progress, comrade! they are apparently doing nothing employees. With this in mind, we've CORRESPONDENTS: Tom Jolliffe (Madrid), Dan about it? come up with a new Nectarine dance Succan:le (Los Angeles) Since so many people on campus are schedule to reflect this turn of events: in favor of diversity. it is perfectly • Nice, usable Power Macs are sud,­ • TUESDAY-Insensitive to Minori­ EDITOR EMERITUS: Geoff Brown obvious we need to recruit more con­ denly being replaced with less than ties Night, with "DJ? You can't have The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run servative students. We're 40 percent nice, usable Mac II-SIs? your own DJ!" journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the Uni· ofthe electorate, for God's sake. And versity of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary • WEDNESDAY - Rough up Indian donations from the U--M. Contributions to the Michigan how many conservatives are on cam­ What upgrades? What improvements? sJ;udents night - with DJ Punchy. Review are lax-Oeductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the pus? 19? 20?This is bloody ridiculous! ·~THURSDAY- Be snide to Hispanic Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated with We ask - no, scratch that, we DE­ Customers Night-with "DJWhitey" any political party or university political group. MAND -that for every prospective We're glad to see that the Daily's __ • FRIDAY - Deny Racially Charged Phew! What a summer! little did the world know that we NWROC member admitted to the movie reviews 4a'V~ progressed from Events Occurred Night were on the verge of extinction, almost being eaten by University,' we get at least three a level of''Thisis cool." or ''This sucks,"· • SATURDAY -Make Whiny Excuses Walter, the thing that lived in our fridge in Nicaragua. But prospective Steve Forbes voters, plus but did it reallY, require a total of For The Employees Night - with "DJ then, we were saved at the zero hour by a koala-fish­ two rich, cardigan- wearing, Ivy seven people from the Daily to review Mike" mutant-bird.