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The Michigan Review the Jour Nal of Campus Af Fairs at the University of Michigan THE MICHIGAN REVIEW THE JOUR NAL OF CAMPUS AF FAIRS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN Welcome Freshmen! Summer Orientation Issue Summer 2007 Volume XVI, Issue 1 Inside: The Fall’s 5 Biggest Issues, p. 3 Editorials, p. 4 First Day Advice, p. 5 Faceoff on Greek Life, pp. 6-7 Essential Campus Glossary, pp. 8-9 Big House Etiquette, p. 13 Best of Ann Arbor, p. 14 Detroit Guide, p. 15 WWW.MICHIGANREVIEW.COM First two copies free, additional copies $3 each. Stealing is illegal and a sin. (Exodus 20:15) P. 2 Page Two Summer 2007 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW www.michiganreview.com page two. Editorial Board: the michigan review Michael P. O’Brien Editor-in-Chief Mary Sue Coleman Speech Mad Lib Adam Paul Executive Editor Students, welcome to the University of Michigan. Your experience is sure to change your ______ Brian Biglin (life/outlook/sexual preference). We are glad to have you with us on campus this term and look Managing Editor forward to _______ (teaching/indoctrinating/ignoring you for lucrative donors) over the next four years. I will keep this speech short because _____(I only have so many good stock speeches/want to Rebecca Christy Content Editor return to avoiding students/see you are all reading the Michigan Review—don’t do that). Chris Stieber I would now like to introduce a ______ (student/forgettable second tier administrator/oppressed Content Editor person) who will speak briefly to you about the impor- Jonny Slemrod tance of ____ (diversity/divers-irificness/divers-itude). Lindsey Dodge Assistant Editors [Sulks as she realizes that her own speech will now be re- dundant to whatever speaker has just said] Business Staff: Karen Boore Thank you for that inspiring speech. I would like to take Publisher a moment to _____ (inspire/bertate /self-aggrandize to) you about the opportunity that is now open to you as stu- Danny Harris dents. Michigan remains an amazing ____ (institution/ Associate Publisher community of scholars/cult). Now that you are a part Staff Writers: of this community you will be able to take advantage of _____ (great learning/sub-par dinning hall food/lines at Michael Balkin, Steven Bengal, David Brait, Erin Buchko, Kelly Cavanaugh, the Fishbowl). These experiences will connect you to with Actual 2005 Photo from the University Record of Jane Coaston, Marie Cour, Lindsey Dodge, other students in ways that will ______ (make you better Blake Emerson, Christine Hwang, Eun Lee, students reading The Michigan Review during Anna Malecke, Brian McNally, Miquelle people/expand your horizons/scar you for life). You are President Mary Sue Coleman’s Convocation Milavec, John O’Brien, Kate O’Connor, Adam likely living with a new person whom you don’t know but speech. (Martin Vloet, U-M Photo Services). Pascarella, Eddie Perry, Danielle Putnam, Shanda Shooter, Chris Stieber, Evan Wladis, you will surely get to know them as they ____ (engage Christina Zajicek, Zack Zucker your intellectual interests/eat your food/walk around naked). Letters and Viewpoints: You are now an important part of the University’s goal of continu- The Michigan Review accepts and encourages ■ Serpent’s Tooth letters to the editor and viewpoints. Letters to the ing to _____ (improve the world/extort huge sums of money from editor should be under 300 words. Viewpoints your families/tokenize students). You will make this goal possible can be arranged by contacting the editorial board. by the work and effort that you will put into ____ (your course- We reserve the right to edit for clarity and length. work/encouraging Michigan athletic teams/becoming socially ac- Send all correspondence to [email protected]. tive). I would like to welcome each student to campus by _____ (quoting a famous person/having cookies at my house one day a About Us: year/making public addresses). The Michigan Review provides a broad range of in-depth coverage of campus affairs and serves as the literary voice of conservatism and libertarian- So, welcome to ____ (Michigan/Ann Arbor/my world—there’s ism at the University of Michigan. The Review is no turning back now). published bi-weekly September thru April. Donate/Subscribe: The Michigan Review accepts no financial support Letter From the Editor from the University. Therefore, your support is critical and greatly appreciated. Donations above $35 are eligible for a 1-year (12 issues) subscrip- ELCOME TO ANN Arbor. take the pulse of trends and undercurrents going on, this is your tion. Donations can be made on our website at paper. , or mailed to: W www.michiganreview.com Somehow, you ended up at the University of Michigan. This We also love to laugh. Our humor page—Serpent’s Tooth— might have been your “reach” school, or it could have been a is a regular feature on Page 2. And if this summer issue is any 911 N. University, Suite One safety school. But none of that matters anymore. Not. One. clue, we like to keep things a little irreverent. We’re students, Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Bit. after all. Why waste college acting like a 55-year-old? The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run conservative College is a whole new ballgame, baby. Most importantly, the Review is an outlet for conservative and libertarian journal at the University of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the University. Con- Your new life here will have blessings and curses. You’ll and libertarian—contrarian, really—opinion and thought on tributions to The Michigan Review are tax-deductible under sec- make lifelong friends and have a few meltdowns. You’ll learn campus. The atmosphere on campus can be stiflingly liberal, and tion 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Service Code. The Michigan Review is not affiliated with any political party or any university so much, and become a little stupider, too. If you’re a freshman, we’re a bastion of refuge from that. But we’re not Ann Coulter political group. you’re about to find out. And if you’re not, well, you probably aspirants, nor are we the literary wing of the College Repub- already know. licans. Rather, The Michigan Review provides the intellectual Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Ergo, they are unequivocally correct and just. Signed articles, let- U-M can be a confusing place, in so many ways. That brings capital of conservatism on campus. ters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author, and not me to this little publication you’ve got in your hands right now. So this is your introduction to the Review. People say first necessarily those of The Review. The Serpent’s Tooth shall repre- sent the opinion of individual, anonymous contributors to The Re- It’s The Michigan Review. We’re an independent journal of cam- impressions count, and I hope this one is positive. But more view, and should not necessarily be taken as representative of The pus affairs that should help you cut through the confusion dur- importantly, love us or hate us, take the opportunity to read us Review’s editorial stance. The opinions expressed in this publica- tion do not necessarily reflect those of the advertisers or the ing the next four years. during the next four years. If you think you can help, join us! See University of Michigan. What we do is simple: We try to be the voice of rationality the ad on the back page for details. And if you’ve got something on campus through good journalism and smart commentary, all to say, write us. Copyright © 2007, The Michigan Review, Inc. All rights reserved. while not taking ourselves too seriously at the same time. U-M’s a great place to be, and I’d like to think that The The Michigan Review is a member of the Collegiate Network. When President Coleman talks about “diversity,” we ask Michigan Review is at least one small element of what makes what, exactly, that means. When students accuse others of com- Michigan so great. mitting a hate crime, but offer no evidence, we ask what really Keep reading. I’ll see you on campus. happened. When city administrators encroach on students’ so- cial habits, we stand up and challenge them. Michael O’Brien But we’re not all that dry, either. We take a look at the trends Editor-in-Chief, The Michigan Review among college students, from tv shows like Grey’s Anatomy and The Office to the latest concerts on campus. If you want to P. 3 Features Summer 2007 campusthe michigan review politics. The Five Big Issues on Campus This Fall BY ADAM PASCARELLA, ‘10 when the Students of Color Coalition ac- needs a few more years to finish. or national origin for public employment, cused Michigauma of using Native Ameri- Google also opened a research and education or contracting purposes.” VEry YEAR, THE Michigan Review can traditions in their initiation ceremonies. technology center in Ann Arbor that heads After a vicious, mud-slinging campaign Ecompiles a list of prominent stories for The group changed its name to the Order of up the company’s AdWords division. The by pro- and anti- MCRI forces, 58% of the upcoming academic year. This fall will Angell and has been making its membership office should add some needed jobs to the Michiganders agreed to ban racial prefer- be no exception; controversial issues will be public for two years. It will be interesting to local economy. ences in the state. The day after the elec- prevalent on campus. see how students will react after the restora- tions, U-M President Mary Sue Coleman tion of the controversial group.
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