Amah Abiya from the Arabian Peninsula: a Narrative Inquiry of Seven Women with Fiery Resistor Spirits Amal Elyas B.A., Riyadh Un
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Amah Abiya From the Arabian Peninsula: A Narrative Inquiry of Seven Women With Fiery Resistor Spirits Amal Elyas B.A., Riyadh University, 1969 M.S., Indiana University, 1976 A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY in the Department of Curriculum and Instruction in the area of Curriculum Studies We accept this dissertation as conforming To the required standard 0Amal Elyas, 2004 University of Victoria All rights reserved. This dissertation may not be reproduced in whole or in part, by photocopy or other means, without permission of the author. Supervisor: Dr. Antoinette Oberg ABSTRACT The topic of my research is the lives of resistors with amah abiya. Amah is the plural word of rouh, which means soul or spirit. Abiya is an adjective, from the verb yabaa, which means to resist and fight injustice, humiliation, or any controlling power. The purpose of this inquiry is to understand living the life of a resistor as a way of being. The six women of my research and myself, the seventh, are all from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. We are Muslim and Arabs. Being an Arab Muslim researcher of human science, I do not believe in an epistemology that claims one true "reality." Neither do I believe in a corresponding theory of truth. Any truth is always culturally and temporally contingent. In my worldview all human-made or human-reached truths and knowledge are perspectival. My research has been a journey of narrative inquiry. It has employed narrative to generate knowledge, telling a story as my way of spontaneously and authentically relating to others. I used stories in three key ways. First, I used stories as a data-gathering method. Stories were used by the women and the researcher as the culturally appropriate means of relating and learning about their lives. Second, as a researcher, stories were also used as a way of generating and transforming knowledge of the resistor way of being and used as a way to represent and communicate that knowledge to my readers. What knowledge my stories carry varies with each reader. Third, stories also transformed me, the researcher, as a knower. I particularly stayed open and ready to hear and see what Allah revealed, made possible for me to know. These spirits live out their destinies from an unchangeable core. They live it out assisted with gifts, and they recharge the inner energy in places of rest. Examiners: Table of Contents .. Abstract 11 Table of Contents iv Acknowledgements vi Dedications vii... "Just Looking for Trouble" Vlll Introduction Chapter 1: Researching Resistors My Research Topic A Resistor's Life A Document From the Archives of My Past From Memory Women Resistors on the Path What Is a Resistor? Resistor Spirit and Destiny Excerpt From the Journal of a Resistor (2002) An Inner Dialogue Aspects of the Resistor Character Elusive Naming of an Elusive Way of Being Other Researchers Chapter 2: Researching As a Resistor The Arab Thread The Muslim Thread The Sufi Thread The Resistor Thread Worldview and Reality My Theory (Nazariya) of Knowledge Chapter 3: Storying As Methodology A Search for Methodology Interviews and Selection of Participants The Process of Translation Multiple Meanings of Validity Ethics Are Culturally Situated Chapter 4: Narrating Resistors' Stories Five Dramas The First Drama The Second Drama The Third Drama The Fourth Drama The Fifth Drama Narrative Style The Women's Quarters Storyteller The Stories of the Seven Women With Arwah Abiya Gasstoor Phoenix Undercover Salata Tree Inad Hopes First Snapshot Second Snapshot Third Snapshot Fourth Snapshot Aspects of a Resistor Way of Being Living Out a Destiny Gifts To Assist in Living Out That Destiny Places of Test Places of Rest Purposeful Spirits Chapter 5: Reflecting on the Journey Chaos With Order Challenges of a Resistor's Research When Writing Becomes an Act of Resistance As Well As an Act of Hope The Openness: Faraj My Heart Signaled the End References Acknowledgements First, I offer my praise to Allah and to my beloved prophet Muhammed. I offer my deep appreciation and thanks to Dr. Oberg, who said, "Amal, you write the way you live, which is wildly alive." Her encouragement, patience, and endless support made this study possible. I offer deepest gratitude to the women participants of my research, each one an Arabian resistor who wanted her story to be heard and risked trusting me to tell it. I offer thanks to the late Dr. Vance Peavy, who guided me early on in my research journey. The words that he wrote, "Amal, you are truly catching the stars," will always remain in my heart. Thank you to my committee members: Dr. Hall, for his respect for the majority world; Dr. Martin-Newcombe, for her thorough feedback; and Dr. Trace, for her deep trust and support. I offer thanks to Dr. Scott and Dr. Frey, who heard my stories and offered valuable support. Finally, special appreciation to my fellow gardeners and friends Marcia Williams, Penny Carswell, and Karen Long, who showed enduring interest in my research journey. vii Dedications To my mother Noor Elyas, your love and patience help me understand living with a resistor spirit. To my daughter Dunya and my son Tariq, your fiery beings exemplifl aspects of living with a resistor spirit. And, to my late father Hassan Elyas, who held my daughter on our last visit and said to me, "You are a mom now. Allah willing, you will be a doctor one day." Just Looking for Trouble I once had a student Who would sit alone in his house at night Shivering with worries , And fears. Then one day my pity Crafted for him a knife From my own divine sword. Since then. Not only has he lost all fear, Now he goes out Just looking for Trouble. (Hafiz, 1999, p. 82) Introduction The topic of my research is the lives of resistors with amah abiya. Amah is the plural word of rouh, which means soul or spirit. Abiya is an adjective, from the verb yabaa, which means to resist and fight injustice, humiliation, or any controlling power. Ibaa is the noun of the verb yabaa. I would say that the Arabic word ibaa describes a concept or a stand in life and cannot possibly be translated into one word in English. It is a mode of living that colors all aspects of one's life. To live with ibaa, one stands up against any injustice around and resists, regardless of the cost, and one refuses to follow or unquestionably conform. With ibaa one does not seek to be liked or approved of by the people living at society's center, but rather one finds life energy in resisting from the margins. With a rouh abiya one lives a life where all interpretations, all decisions, all views have to resonate with that spirit, the unchangeable core at the seat of one's heart. By resisting I do not mean only resisting as a reaction to an act of oppression by external forces. I speak here of living the life of a resistor as a way of being. Any external forces of injustice or oppression would invoke a woman living with a resistor spirit to speak up, fight back, resist and take a strong stand against these external forces. A resistor would not accept confiscation of her voice. She would not obey when her inner powers are taken away. She forsakes tangible rewards if she feels that the price is her silence or her powerlessness. In addition to resisting external forces, a resistor battles with internal forces as well. By that I mean that when the force is coming from within she will not surrender easily. In order to elucidate my point Mher I would take as an example how a resistor desires, as do all humans, to be accepted by the ones closest to her (family members, partners, children, and others), but when that acceptance means her humiliation or giving up her powers she will resist the voice inside that repeatedly says, "As a daughter, a wife, a mother . you are supposed to . " A resistor engages with any conviction of any outer institution--social, political, academic, religious, medical, or economical--in a creative internal dialogue that resists, questions, turns it upside down, interrogates, challenges, and seeks alternatives. In other words, a resistor engages with internal forces, voices, and assumptions and debates with the same ferocity, positive stubbornness, and creativity as she shows in her engagements with external forces. By positive stubbornness I mean that stubbornness is not a negative trait by itself. Stubbornness could be self-defeating and destructive when used for the sake of opposing, no more, or less. I consider stubbornness to be positive when, as a resistor, I take a stand firmly and stubbornly, unwilling to compromise or negotiate, particularly when a core at the seat of the heart is at stake. The six women of my research and myself, the seventh, live our lives within that way of being. We are living with amah abiya. These women have left me with a deep sense of wonder and bewilderment: their wildness, their nonconformity, their risk-taking, their resistance, their strength to stand firm, strong, and tall, dancing to their own tunes, not expecting any applause from the outside world. These women have their own inner reward systems and their own meaning-making systems. I live as a resistor, with a rouh abiya, and my life is a site of studying the resistor way of being. As in Hafiz's (1999) poem above, I am a student who is out "looking for trouble" in rough terrain, with no fear of the road.