Senator Jerry? ○○○○○○○○○○○○ Casey Martin battles ○○○○○○○○○ ’Twixt law and love Politics got its hooks into with the Ninesome ... is where we’ll find balance TV’s most famous talk As the Supreme Court decides as lawyers. C-M grad and show host at an early age. the fate of the handicapped Auxiliary Bishop A. James In a conversation with the golfer’s cart case, 2L Tom Green Quinn makes the case for Gavel, Jerry Springer hints predicts the parade of horrors ○○○○○ practicing human compas- at a return to public office. if the cart’s allowed in play. sion as we’re arguing code. LAW, PAGE 3 OPINION, PAGE 6 CAREER, PAGE 4

VOLUME 49, ISSUE 6 P MAY 2001 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER AT CLEVELAND-MARSHALL COLLEGE OF LAW

Not a top-10 student? Plenty Cancellations of options, says ‘Job Goddess’ plague 1Ls By Tricia Hurst STAFF WRITER Kimm Walton, author of “Gue- Section 3 professors often absent; rilla Tactics for Getting the Legal Job of Your Dreams” and self-pro- some avoid, others require makeups claimed “Job Goddess,” stresses using creativity and ingenuity By Frank Scialdone have other things to do and at times when looking for a job. MANAGING EDITOR have to cancel class, the problem Walton, who spoke at Cleve- A wave of cancellations and comes in when classes are resched- land-Marshall this semester and make-up classes has proved dis- uled during time we have set aside talked with the Gavel, said she ruptive to students in one first-year to study,” said 1L Katie Cowen. wants to help students likely to be section who have had more than Associate Dean Jack A. frustrated when trying to find work. 15 classes cancelled over the fall Guttenberg has fielded several

“It’s easy to get frustrated. You EROWID.ORG and spring semesters. complaints this year from students think your grades aren’t good C-M professor Joel Finer discussed representing the late Timothy Leary Professors who teach Section about class cancellations and has enough or you’re looking for work (above), the Harvard professor who advocated using psychedelic drugs. 3 students have cancelled classes talked individually with some pro- in another city — but there’s always for a variety of reasons including fessors about their cancellation a way to get the job you love.” Finer and the acid ambassador illness, a medical operation and practices. Guttenberg would not None of these approaches professional responsibilities. disclose the professors’ names. come from her own experiences. GAVEL STAFF argued that using psychedelic While generally understanding “We do expect faculty mem- The creator of Law in a Flash Although veteran Cleve- drugs for religious purposes of the need for professors to can- bers to attend their classes and to flashcards had never had a law- land-Marhsall professor Joel should have been protected cel classes on occasion, students make up classes that they miss,” related job. Finer discourages using psy- under the Constitution. complain that it is not convenient said Dean Steven H. Steinglass. To write the book she went to chedelic drugs today, he Finer was so drawn to when a class is cancelled or re- “At the same time, we recognize law schools in search of ideas from didn’t always feel that way. Leary that he defended the scheduled with little advanced no- that it is important for faculty mem- people with different levels of con- In a speech at C-M on Harvard professor in a famed tice. Some also dread the prospect bers to be engaged in professional fidence. “Some people can talk to April 10, Finer said he agreed criminal case. of rushing through material to and academic activities outside the anyone,” she said. “Some people with notorious ’60s acid ad- Turn to page 2 for more by make up for canceled classes. classroom.” See JOBS, page 4 vocate Timothy Leary, who staff writer Dave Steiner. “I understand that professors See CANCELED, page 3

2L slate wins in controversial SBA election You How SBA Should By Ed Pekarek it to every law stu- The SBA constitution is silent on allocates BUSINESS EDITOR dent during the endorsements and generally permits Know An e-mail endorsing certain can- elections. campaign e-mails. By ED PEKAREK its funds didates in last week’s Student Bar Bundy, who Markey, who won by 87 votes, Association election resulted in a dis- was narrowly de- said he was unaware the e-mail would According to the Student Bar Association, pute between 3L Roger Bundy, feated in last be sent, but that it was a non-issue. “I Cleveland State allocated $68,380 to SBA from SBA’s outgoing treasurer and a vice year’s hotly con- doubt nearly 100 ballots were cast as various sources for the 2000-2001 school year. In dean of Delta Theta Phi, and the au- tested vice presi- a result,” he said. “I see nothing turn, SBA doled out approximately $17,000 to law thor of the message, 2L Michelle Dan Markey dential race by wrong with encouraging members to student groups in two funding sessions. Conrad, an SBA senator and Delta Markey, expressed concern about vote for one of their own.” Here’s how SBA split the dollars: Theta Phi officer. “the complete honor and integrity of Conrad said that seven out of 12 Organization Amount The controversial e-mail, which the elections process.” current members of the executive Black Law Students Association $3,089 was apparently intended for law fra- “I really don’t think that the elec- committee were advised before she Asian-Pacific Islanders LSA 2,190 Women’s LSA 1,965 ternity members but was forwarded tion was affected by this mail, but sent the e-mail. She also noted that Delta Theta Phi 1,905 to all students by Cleveland-Marshall what happened was totally inappro- Bundy sent her a written apology International LSA 1,840 secretary Rosa Delvecchio, favored priate,” Bundy said. and that she has taken remedial steps Student Public Interest Law Org. 1,205 2L candidates Dan Markey, Bernie In a contentious, closed-door to create a Delta Theta Phi listserv. Federalist Society 945 Hessley, Renee Zaidrenras and Chris meeting on election night between “What’s really important is that Coalition for Equal Rights 910 Justinian Forum 775 Zirke. The four prevailed over a slate outgoing SBA president Matt Hite, the SBA and student body put this Environmental Law Society 625 of 1Ls in the April 18 election. defeated 1L vice presidential candi- non-event behind them and work to- Criminal Law Society 525 Markey was elected president. date Matt Selby, Markey and Bundy, gether to better the law school,” ob- ABA, Christian Legal Society each 375 Although Conrad asked Selby reportedly questioned the pro- served the victorious Hessley. “Fo- Groups use the funds for yearlong programming. Delvecchio to “forward this to Delta priety of the tactic but did not offi- cusing on this small glitch does ev- Theta Phi members,” the e-mail made cially contest the election. eryone at C-M a disservice.” THE GAVEL Page 2 LawLaw May 2001 A backward glance at this Wearing Leary’s LSD mantle successful year By Dave Steiner people to claim all drug use is STAFF WRITER Finer recalls the Harvard prof turned “religious.” To rebut that argu- By Steven H. Steinglass Students and faculty were in- drug advocate turned criminal client ment, Finer proposed that juries It is hard to think that the 2000- vited to “tune in, turn on and drop could determine the sincerity of 2001 school year is drawing to a out” when Cleveland-Marshall persons who claim drug use as close. August, it seems, was only professor Joel Finer discussed his religious. Finer likened the reli- yesterday. For all of us — students, representation of drug guru gious drug use issue to that of a faculty, staff — it has been an Timothy Leary during the turbu- conscientious war objector who eventful and suc- lent ’60s, as part of the C-M Fac- is exempt from active duty. cessful nine ulty Speaker Series. Finer said there are certain months in which, Finer gave a two-part, multi- conditions, which are difficult to to paraphrase our media presentation April 10 that satisfy today, that must exist for Strategic Plan, we focused on his representation of a positive religious experience have asked much Leary. A former Harvard profes- with hallucinogens. These in- of one another. sor, Leary was internationally clude a pre-psychotic screen- We have asked known for urging the use of cer- ing, a background check, a The much of one an- tain drugs to help achieve greater trained guide and an appropri- other in organiz- spiritual and emotional enlight- ate setting. Finer sent a Dean’s ing and promoting enment. Finer also discussed sig- schoolwide e-mail before his Column an exceptionally nificant social and political presentation denouncing the large number of changes of the era of the 1960s. use of hallucinogens. symposia, conferences, lectures, The presentation began with The second half of the pre- receptions and special events, all colorful, psychedelic computer sentation consisted of an audio- informative and all calling atten- graphics accompanied by the tape that contained recordings of tion to the obligation this law Moody Blues song “Legend of a important events of the 1960s. school meets in serving the pub- Mind.” The song’s chorus pro- These recordings included Mar- lic, the bench and the bar. Through- claimed, “Timothy Leary’s tin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a out the year we have also asked dead.” Referring to the computer Dream” speech from 1963, much of our student organizations graphics, Finer jokingly Robert Kennedy addressing a and the many students whom I see commented, “My cats crowd after the assassination of poring over books in the library, love this.” Martin Luther King Jr., Ted rushing between classes or sta- Finer discussed how Kennedy giving a eulogy for tioned in the computer labs, who his scholarship on reli- Robert Kennedy at St. Patrick’s are striving to become the best law- gious freedom and psy- LEFT: COURTESY J. FINER. ABOVE: DEOXY.ORG Cathedral, and Bob Dylan’s chedelic drug use led to song “The Times They Are A- yers they can become. All these Finer (left): Never was a client like LSD guru Leary, shown in 1970. hardworking students help us tell a request to defend Changin’.” the world what we already know: Leary from drug in court. Leary was un- gions. He added that the state Finer left the room for the that this is a wonderful law school charges brought by the successful and was cannot prohibit religious prac- second part of the presentation with opportunities for all kinds of U.S. government. Finer, a law sentenced to prison time. tices without a compelling state and allowed those in attendance students with all kinds of interests. professor at the University of Finer discussed the use of interest. to simply reflect on the record- I especially wish also to thank Texas at the time, said Leary hallucinogens in a religious set- Finer acknowledged the ings. the 227 men and women whose refused to plea bargain because ting to obtain a positive spiritual problems of legal drug use for About 100 students and fac- student days are ending and whose he wanted to raise the issue of experience. He also discussed spiritual and religious purposes, ulty members attended the alumni days are about to begin. drug use and religious freedom mysticism found in most reli- including the potential for hourlong event. The class of 2001, the fourth class I have seen graduate since I be- came dean in 1997, has been one of the most energetic and enterpris- ing in my experience. Not only ‘Lie doggo’ to Sydney and study law with the best have they been exceptional in aca- demics, they have also been excep- By Manju Gupta Sydney’s stunning Opera tional in public service. CONTRIBUTING WRITER Sydney Opera House House to beautiful and the famous Sydney Many of them are already as- At the end of my first year, I beaches for surfing or Harbor Bridge. suming the role of conscientious deliberated what I should do with scuba diving, Sydney’s alumni, first by participating in the my summer. Instead of clerking, activities make the city job-search process in a manner that which I had done the summer be- always vibrant. The only does credit to Cleveland-Marshall fore, I decided I needed some- drawback was that and then by taking part in the thing a bit more adventurous af- Ohio’s summer is Graduation Challenge, pledging ter the tedium of the first year. Sydney’s winter — mod- to support the law school and the What could be more rewarding erate, however, with students of the future. I look for- than traveling to a country I had about 65-degree weather. ward to participating with them never been to before? Australia’s unique for many years to come, when, as Studying overseas can be a countryside of wonders accomplished lawyers, they bring tremendous asset to 1001 MEDIA GROUP is a mecca for travelers. to the law school the same energy any legal education. THE GAVEL the visit, Professor Blackshield On the weekends, I traveled to and entrepreneurial spirit they It enables you to ex- took us into the chambers of the the Great Barrier Reef and Ayers have brought as students. plore different cul- TRAVELS first and only female High court Rock. Prior to arriving in Aus- To all of you, those returning tures and the per- judge, Mary Gaudron — the tralia, I used my free flight stop- and those leaving for awhile, I wish spectives of students Aussie equivalent of meeting Su- over (usually made in Fiji, Ha- the days ahead may be as produc- and faculty in foreign countries. Australian faculty and learning preme Court Justice Sandra Day waii or New Zealand) to back- tive as those you have spent this As the world becomes truly in- with foreign students. Australia’s O’Connor. Coincidentally, the pack through New Zealand for year at C-M. And, always, I look ternational, an understanding of world-renowned constitutional front page of Sydney’s paper the two weeks. forward to our work together in the global business is essential for law scholar, Anthony Blackshield, next day was about a controver- Studying abroad is a great coming years. any modern lawyer. taught comparative constitutional sial speech the justice had given opportunity to explore a new Steinglass is dean of C-M. Widener University School of law in conjunction with American the day we met her. country while earning academic Law’s summer international pro- professor Erin Daly. Academics were not our only credit, gaining an international Correction: From the last col- gram was conducted in Sidney, During the program, we took pursuit. Sydney boasts many at- perspective and meeting new umn, C-M’s HLSA was regretta- Australia. The program offered a a day trip to Canberra, the capi- tractions and events as well. From friends from around the world. bly omitted as a sponsor of the fo- unique educational experience tal of Australia, and visited the climbing the famous Sydney It was an experience I will never rum “Race: Does it Matter?” that included taking courses from High Court of Australia. During Bridge to taking in an opera at forget. THE GAVEL P LAW MAY 2001 P 3 Host of ‘stupidest’ show gets serious about politics By Tricia Hurst In a talk with the Gavel, terest in public service. “Let’s face is less of a passion and more a a hypothetical poll that said he STAFF WRITER it. If you’re interested in serving résumé-builder for those who would beat Sen. Mike DeWine for If you are like most people, the Springer reveals his the public, you aren’t going to be spend millions of dollars of their re-election. “After that, it took on name Jerry Springer does not in- passion for politics — a biologist or something like that. own money on campaigning. a life of its own,” he said. “I don’t stantly spring to mind when it You go to law school.” What makes him passionate know. Someone was drinking.” comes to serious intellectual dis- and hints at an eventual For Springer, politics is a pas- about politics is race and economic Contractual obligations pre- cussions. Most likely, you think of return to public office sion; everything else is just a job. opportunity. “Race is the greatest vent him from running any time what Springer has dubbed “the stu- “I hope you’re not going into it for test of whether we believe in the soon. He is obligated to produce pidest show on television.” a career but because you want to American dream. It makes us have his show, which airs in 50 coun- When you look past his claim make a difference.” to be honest with ourselves.” tries and 209 cities in the United to fame, you will discover that He sees a danger in being a ca- The rumors of “Springer for States, for the next two to five Springer has had a life some reer politician. “It can make you Senate” surprised him as much as years. people can only wish for. intellectually dishonest,” he said. anyone. He was traveling in Italy But he already has a campaign His interest in politics began “When you have to feed your kids when he found out one of the slogan: “Springer for Senate — No during the Vietnam War and you’ll say anything to be re- Cleveland news outlets had taken Really!” afterward he found himself elected. You have to be willing to working for Sen. Robert F. lose an election.” Kennedy. “No one had to “See it as a passion. See it as a give a speech about getting religion. Do not see it as a career,” Looking for housing close to school? involved in politics in the he said. 1960s,” Springer said. “This Despite this view, Springer Just call HERITAGE SUITES, was not an interest or a opposes term limits. He be- hobby; this was your life.” lieves that it goes against the (216) 687-0322, or stop in After Kennedy’s assas- democratic process to tell the at 2200 Prospect Avenue! sination, the Northwestern voters they cannot vote for University law graduate someone. “The voters will tell This recently renovated apartment complex at the took a job at Frost & Jacobs ED PEKAREK—GAVEL you when to leave.” historic downtown YMCA offers students convenient in Cincinnati. The young attorney panel at the school’s student-run He also has strong views on living just one block from CSU. Rental rates are: soon entered politics and was legislative forum. campaign financing. “You have to Efficiencies, $420 and $476. Utilities are included in elected mayor in 1977. After that, Springer said it is no surprise make the money irrelevant,” he he became a TV news anchor, end- that most politicians start their ca- said. He suggests free airtime when the rent except for telephone and cable TV ing his 11 o’clock broadcasts with reers in law. “The law deals with it gets close to the election. Dur- connections. All units are furnished, air conditioned, his now famous “final thought” public interest and you spend three ing the panel session, he joked, and all have kitchenettes and bathrooms. Laundry that dealt with current events. years discussing this in law “My show two minutes shorter facilities are located within the building. It was this experience that en- school.” would actually be a public ser- couraged him to visit Cleveland- Even before law school, he vice.” Office hours: M-F 9a.m.-6p.m. Weekends noon-4p.m. jjjjjjjjjjjjjj Marshall on March 30 to join a explained, people develop an in- Springer said he thinks politics www.springstreet.com / (216) 687-0322 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

CANCELED: First-year section affected by absentee professors WE KNOW HOW CHEAP

Continued from page 1 — four classes over the two semes- The C-M faculty manual pro- ters, two because of illness and two YOU ARE! vides that a professor should re- to teach in Russia as part of the schedule missed classes before Cleveland State University ex- reading week and, depending on change program. She said she did DO YOU KNOW HOW CHEAP the student’s schedules, may make not reschedule classes but did pro- up lost time by starting classes ear- vide an extra written assignment WE ARE? lier or extending classes. for students. “Professors should only cancel “I try to avoid rescheduling when they absolutely have to,” said classes at all costs because it is in- Guttenberg, who believes that can- convenient to students,” said cellations for professional respon- Robertson. sibilities are acceptable when they Robertson said that all profes- sale prices thru 05/15/01: do not exceed two classes. sors build time into their syllabi Notwithstanding the college’s to account for unexpected ab- suits from 220.00 policy, some professors do not sences. sportcoats from 150.00 make up actual class time in its Susan J. Becker, who teaches slacks from 39.00 entirety. For students like 1L first-year civil procedure in Sec- sportshirts from 20.00 Cowen, missing a few classes is tion 3, canceled five classes be- preferable to frequently resched- cause of a medical operation. All uling classes. classes were rescheduled and not Tayyab Mahmud, who teaches optional, which was stated in her contracts to Section 3 students, class syllabus. Enjoy a considerable “step up” said he had canceled six classes “I’m very sympathetic that any this year, five of which were to disturbances in the schedule inter- from department store and warehouse allow him to present scholarly pa- feres with time students may have quality, service and prices. pers at professional conferences. carefully set aside for study, fam- He said he rescheduled some of ily or other obligations,” she said. them and has added five minutes “At the same time, situations do to the beginning and end of sev- arise that requires students to be eral of his classes to make up time. understanding. Law is a stressful “The curriculum has not suf- career and being flexible is the fered,” Mahmud said. hallmark of a successful practic- Mahmud views his profes- ing attorney.” sional responsibilities to bar asso- Stephen W. Gard, who teaches M. Lang Executive Attire ciations and the legal community torts in Section 3, has canceled You Know You Could Look Better as part of his job as a professor. two classes over the fall and Time spent at conferences ulti- spring semesters, one of which 1275 Euclid Avenue @ Playhouse Square 216.771.4197 mately benefits students and the was rescheduled as an optional free parking available college, he said. class. Heidi Robertson, who teaches Associate Editor Clare Taft property in Section 3, has canceled contributed to this article. THE GAVEL Page 4 CareerCareer May 2001 Avoid hurrying into clerkships Somewhere between law, love T OCCURS TO ME THIS IS THE lic opinion judges us. after first year season of graduations, including law Where the world The Miss Watsons can be expected to school graduations. Graduations effer- frown when we dare to be conscionable. By Karin Mika vesce speeches galore: some long, needs justice, not And materialists will regard us as foolish Q: When is the best time for a I some short. We hope and we pray those whenever we put ourselves second to the first-year student to look for a sum- speeches are laced with wisdom that inspires mere adherence to rights and needs of others. mer job? I’m starting to get ner- graduates, especially law law, we must seek a Nothing I have written should be taken vous, but I would like to concen- Alumni school graduates, to be as disrespect for law. I am simply lamenting trate on finals. grateful for the educational delicate balance. that law sometimes can be used as a substi- A: I think one of the primary Advice opportunities they enjoyed tute for irresponsible decision-making, or as mistakes first year students make and to aspire to do good a shield against moral accountability. We can is trying to decide things with the knowledge and tools they By A. James Quinn be tempted to allow the letter of a Legal who they’re ulti- have assembled. law to stifle the life-giving quali- Writing mately going to be My own career as a priest who is also a ties of principled love. Or, we during the first lawyer follows a path- can commit ourselves to employ week in school. Sometimes you way that runs between law always in a manner that em- lock yourself into people and situ- love and law. For me, bodies more fully the principles ations that prove to be the worst of there is only one abso- of love and justice. all decisions in the long run. The lute, and that absolute is What about Huckleberry same goes for the first summer job. the will of God. I know Finn? Whatever we find our- I won’t say don’t keep your that God wills me to re- selves doing in life, we, too, eyes open, but I will say don’t jump spect and honor law and will find that we are bound too quickly at the first thing that also to love my neighbor by conscience to live life be- you see for fear you won’t get any- as myself. tween law and love, draw- thing else. The economy’s not that Law and love! ing on both, permitting one bad that every law clerk job will May I introduce to my to discipline the other. be taken by the end of the school essay the name of Huckle- May we, then, not allow year. Take your time and see what’s berry Finn? Would you love in our hearts to be out there, but if it’s not something walk with me in the barefoot crushed by the weight of that you truly want to do, check prints of “Huck” for just a legalism. back again a little later to see if short stretch of moral reflec- Who knows what there is something more suitable. tion? moral dilemmas await Also, put all of that on hold if and Huckleberry Finn was far each of us? May we when it impedes your studies. less educated than any of us, work our way through While the placement director but what we can learn from challenges by selecting will kill me if I say establishing Huckleberry Finn will make all the pathway trod by early employment is overrated, I of us better lawyers and me a the barefoot Huckle- will say that a poor decision as to better priest. berry Finn. where you will be employed could Huck was intuitively en- John Milton wrote be as bad as not being employed dowed with integrity. He was in- in Areopagitica: at all. And sometimes the benefits herently incorruptible because “Give me the lib- of a non-legal situation outweigh that is the way he was created by erty to know, to utter the benefits you would derive from his author, Mark Twain, who had and to argue freely a clerking position. I was involved a lesson to teach. according to con- in two memorable situations where In a world of rivers and rafts, science, above all liberties.” I believe my counter-grain advice Huckleberry Finn faced a terrible TOM,” NORMAN ROCKWELL, 1940 May our lawyering faithfully follow a worked out for the best. (Remem- dilemma. Huck befriended a run- “HUCK FINN AND conscience that is true! Amen. ber, this is my column, so I don’t away slave named Jim. betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I have to disclose where my advice The law, if you recall, said Huck’s new studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, P About Bishop A. James Quinn: Based didn’t work out so well.) friend was someone’s property. Jim be- and then says to myself: ‘All right then, I’ll in Lorain, Quinn is one of four auxiliary bish- The first situation involved a longed to Miss Watson. According to law, go to hell.’” ops in the Cleveland Catho- student who was torn between Huck, in treating Jim as an equal, was ob- That conversation with himself marked lic Diocese. A graduate of landing her first clerking job and structing justice. Jim belonged to Miss a break for Huck from both law and reli- Cleveland’s St. Ignatius High attending a non-legal graduate Watson, and Huck was acting contrary to gion insofar as they both, then, supported School and St. Mary Semi- class in London, England. I sug- law and social convention. the institution of slavery which Huck con- nary, he was ordained a priest gested England — who wouldn’t? Huck had deduced that slavery was cluded to be plain wrong. in 1958 and appointed auxil- — and it turned out to be the best wrong, and that conclusion prompted him to What we can learn from Huck is cour- iary bishop in 1983. He re- experience of her life. She is now reject a law he, deep-down, felt was unjust. age to do our lawyering and our living in ceived a doctor of canon law happily employed in law. The sec- “The more I studied the more my con- accord with the principles of law and love, from Pontifical Lateran University in Rome ond situation involved one of our science went to grinding me. It made me no matter what the Miss Watsons of the in 1963 and graduated from Cleveland- active alumni, Susan Yarb- shiver … because I’d got to decide, forever, world think, no matter how prevailing pub- Marshall in 1973. Peterson, who during her first year contemplated whether she should attempt to clerk rather than accept a job as a TV anchor. After spend- JOBS: Author says persistence, creativity pay off ing all of law school working an anchor position, I think she is now Continued from page 1 — mass mailings, alumni. “Everybody likes to hear, the past have walked away from happily employed in the legal field. can’t talk to a stranger if their she noted, “It is ‘What you do sounds fascinat- that day with stacks of business These choices are, of course, clothes were on fire.” like closing your ing,’” Walton said. Meet with the cards and the names of people to different than the choices most first One approach she suggests is eyes and trying to alum to discuss the job and how contact within the firm. year students have, but the bottom to make yourself an expert. “You hit a target.” they got it. “People really are CLE lectures are also a golden line is the same: Don’t try to carve are just as capable as anyone “People trust hardwired to be helpful. opportunity. They provide an av- your destiny in stone too early, and learning in a hurry and every pub- their guts about She is quick to emphasize that enue for students to meet with area Kimm Walton don’t think there won’t be choices lication is crying out for writers.” people so much you shouldn’t ask for a job. “Just lawyers. These lectures provide that might arrive after the time ev- Walton explained that you look more than what they see on pa- talk,” she said. potential contacts and could also eryone else has seemingly already like an expert the more you are per,” Walton explained. She also Walton also suggests volun- lead to a part time clerkship dur- decided what they are going to do. published. counsels against mass mailings teering at conferences or even golf ing the school year. Mika, the assistant director of The most important thing for because the number of rejections outings. Between holes or while The most important advice legal writing at C-M, was recently students to do, according to students are bound to get is de- you are passing out nametags, Walton wants job seekers to re- named to succeed Stephen Werber Walton, is to make themselves moralizing. lawyers will talk to you. People member is simple. “Never, ever, as moot court adviser. visible. When students rely on She suggests searching for who have used this approach in ever, ever, ever, ever give up.” THE GAVEL P CAREER MAY 2001 P 5 THE GAVEL Page 6 OpinionOpinion May 2001 By Thomas Green sult if Martin is successful, con- Don’t worry; CONTRIBUTING WRITER If Casey Martin beats the sider the following exchange HEN CASEY PGA on appeal, absurd during oral arguments between Martin’s story hit results would ensue. the court and Martin’s attorney. Dubya doesn’t the news, it was The court asked if a baseball apparent that player, who had a disability that By Michele McKee W whatever resolution was caused an unusually long torso, STAFF WRITER reached, it would be met with could request a change in the There is no doubt that we, as controversy. Martin is a profes- strike zone — normally from U.S. citizens, are members of a sional golfer in his 20s who is the knees to the chest — mak- greater world community. AIDS, stricken by Klippel-Trenaunay The ing the zone smaller for him. the West Nile virus, killer bees, Syndrome. This disease makes Martin, who argues that the no- mad cow disease and foot-and- it medically impossible for him Supremes cart rule is not fundamental to mouth disease know no political to play golf without the use of golf, said that the strike zone boundaries. Our economies are a cart. The pain and swelling should hold is fundamental to baseball. inextricably intertwined as well. that results from sustained pe- that even The court then noted Electronics. Toys. Clothes. Shoes. riods of walking only slightly that the strike zone is Cars. Oil. Gas. Need I mention the subsides when Martin elevates silly sports a “silly rule,” and Internet? Does anybody really his leg. Using a cart provides rules make went on to say that think that we could thrive if cut off only minimal relief from the “all sports rules are from the rest of the world? Appar- pain Martin suffers while golf- good law silly rules.” ently, “Dubya” does. ing. Indeed, he suf- Clearly, the Why did Dubya declare the fers pain even point the court United States to be in “competi- while he is at rest. was trying to tion” with China in lieu of the pre- Martin success- make is that all vious administration’s policy of fully sued the Pro- Casey’s sports are gov- “partnership” when there are so fessional Golfers erned by rules many U.S.-based, multinational Association Tour, that are arbi- companies like Goodyear and which does not al- trarily created to Eveready investing hundreds of low carts in many put all competi- millions of dollars expanding into events, after his re- tors on a level Chinese markets to sell their prod- last shot quest to use a cart playing field and ucts? It’s not as if one of our spy was denied. test them — not to planes will have an accident with Other golfers, including and access. It is about compe- discriminate against one of China’s fighters, have to Ford Olinger and Ja Ro Jones, tition and huge winnings. Fur- disabled people. land on its soil and thereby require have sued another governing thermore, as the Seventh Cir- Yes, a person born China’s cooperation. Way to go, body, the United States Golf cuit noted in Olinger, the “point with unusually short Dubya. Association. The Jones case is of an athletic competition … is arms would be discrimi- And why did they throw out all still pending in the Fifth Circuit. to decide who, under conditions nated against if he were to the Russian spies? Is anybody sur- Olinger’s request, however, that are about the same for ev- try out for quarterback of prised Russia is spying on us, and was denied in the Seventh Cir- eryone, can perform an as- a football team. A dwarf us on them? It has probably taken cuit. Perhaps to rectify the split signed set of tasks better than would be discriminated at least a decade to identify exactly in circuits in light of Martin and (not as well as) any other com- against if he were to try out who was spying and how. Don’t Olinger, the Supreme Court petitor.” For these reasons for center on a basketball worry. Now we can spend more heard oral arguments in Mar- and others, the court, after team. That is the nature of time and resources to figure it all tin Jan. 17. A ruling is expected hearing the first ever re- athletics. That is also why out again. After all, it’s not as if soon. quest for a change in the the Supreme Court should we are partnering with Russia on a All three golfers brought substantive rules of a decide in favor of the PGA, multi-billion dollar space station. claims under the Americans sport, should rule against thus continuing to allow or- Way to go, Dubya. With Disabilities Act. Title III Martin. ganizations like the PGA and Why does Dubya think a of the ADA prohibits eligibil- To illustrate the the USGA — and not the worldwide agreement to reduce ity criteria that “screen out or absurdity of courts — to make the rules emissions and other pollutants is a tend to screen out an individual what could re- that govern professional bad idea? Reducing emissions like with a disability … from fully sports. carbon dioxide over the long term and equally enjoying any goods Green is a 2L and the in- would reduce the amount Dubya [and] services.” coming editor in chief of could appear to give as a tax cut, Professional athletics, how- Cleveland-Marshall’s Journal not to mention hurt those gener- ever, isn’t about “enjoyment” of Law and Health. ous coal companies. ANDY LYONS — ALLSPORT As other nations develop, pol- lution will become an ever increas- ing problem. Don’t worry, though. The environment won’t get that Professors’ research quotas hurt everyone bad for a while, and by then a Democrat will be president and he By Renni Zifferblatt The result is unfortunate because students of- or she will have to spend a lot more CONTRIBUTING WRITER ten exit class frustrated, anxious and ill equipped money to fix the problem. Way to It appears our legal educational system is flawed to solve the riddles their own questions seem to go, Dubya. in that the American Bar Association and others generate. Inevitably, a rift develops between fac- THE GAVEL present today’s law professors with a difficult di- ulty and students, further exacerbating the com- And why does Dubya think he Cleveland-Marshall can avoid playing a role in the lemma: namely, fulfill writing and publication quo- munication gap. College of Law Middle East peace process? Isn’t tas or relinquish competitive teaching positions. This is, of course, not true of all professors. Cleveland, Ohio 44115 a lot of involvement in peace talks Even tenured professors are not immune from the There are some that forsake raises to commit them- [email protected] (216) 687-4533 preferable to even a little involve- pressure to contribute to legal scholarship, unless selves exclusively to their students, others who are ment in a war? Is anyone surprised willing to accept stagnant earnings. I suggest this simply indifferent and those who try to remain Editor Kevin Butler how the violence has escalated process runs afoul of the purpose of educating, composed and competent while balancing both under Ariel Sharon and without which is after all to enlighten the scholar. writing and teaching responsibilities. Lastly, there Managing Editor U.S. moderation? How can Dubya Although universities understandably depend is the stigmatized legal writing faculty, surely the Frank Scialdone expect Syria, Jordan, Egypt and upon their faculty to promote their reputations by most accessible for students, who receive neither Business Editor Saudi Arabia to support us authoring prestigious legal works, it is the stu- credit for their efforts nor respect from colleagues, Ed Pekarek against Iraq and pretend we dent body that ultimately suffers because little despite the emphasis the “authorities on high” place Associate Clare Taft don’t support Israel at the energy is left to expend upon students. Perhaps on legal writing. Editors Paul Petrus that is why students often perceive their legal In the end, students are alienated. And profes- same time? Staff Michael Cheselka Don’t worry. If he education to be a self-generated process. If true, sors? Probably exhausted and dismayed. Writers Maureen Connors times another little either lecture or Socratic methodologies may Perhaps it is time for the rulemakers to recog- Frank Cwiklinski Mideast war bet- be creatures of necessity for professors try- nize that those charged with the task of imparting Tricia Hurst ing to strike a balance between writing de- knowledge can not vest energy where it is most Kelly R. Johnson ter than his father Michele McKee did, Dubya can mands and the endless questions that needed under the current system. The import of Mat Rieger assure his re- thoughtful students naturally have about the teaching in the legal realm should neither be under- LeA Schemrich election. Way to complexity of any given legal concept. estimated nor falter under an illusory ranking com- Dave Steiner This seems plausible, given that ei- plex. For our teachers can truly be legal gurus if Ann Vaughn go, Dubya! David Wims McKee is a 3L. ther method chills a student’s de- given the opportunity and students — tomorrow’s sire to ask questions, for fear of heroes. Isn’t that where true grandeur lies? Adviser Thomas Buckley Way to go, Dubya. interrupting an instructor’s flow. Nicknamed “Z,” Zifferblatt is a 2L. ALL RIGHTS REVERT TO AUTHORS.

CNN.COM THE GAVEL P OPINION THE GAVEL SIDEBAR MAY 2001 P 7 A ‘moral’ city lets loose its demons

Cincinnati Mayor Charles moral grounds. We have moral Luken is torn between how to values in Cincinnati.” But handle people who want redress where were these same moral, for their grievances and having white right-wingers when the a “law and order city.” Ku Klux Klan erected a cross “There’s no magic here,” he on Fountain Square during admitted to Plain Dealer report- Christmas? They were nowhere ers. “I don’t have to be found. The cross was pro- Paul the answer.” Part tested by largely African- Petrus of the reason the American activists. mayor does not Fourteen black men have have the answer is because he’s been killed in confrontations not asking the right question. He with Cincinnati police since asks how these riots could hap- 1995, four since this past No- pen here. But the question that vember. (Happy holidays.) And should be asked is this: “How just now, only after days of pro- come the riots don’t happen Cincinnati’s all-out tests, riots, looting and shooting more often?” is the city finally waking up to The law and order zealots push for law and something other than soft-core FILE have been in power since Nixon order now haunts consensual pornography. Ray Ficca (left) and Lisa Ray star in the raucous “Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding,” rode this slogan to the presidency. “The environment here fa- an interactive comedy playing at the Hanna Theater since Sept. 7, 2000. But with serious crime on the de- its prudish citizens. vors law and order at all costs, cline for at least 10 years why such Minds, be opened. even when it violates human fanaticism now? Here we have a rights,” said Pastor Shawn Mama mia! It’s unholy 19-year-old kid shot to death on As any former resident of McMullen of Harvest Faith Fel- the run from the cops over war- Cincinnati will tell you, it’s one lowship Ministries in Cincin- rants issued for, among other mis- of the most backward-ass cities nati. He points out a larger prob- matrimonial mayhem demeanors, parking tickets. There on the map. During the lem: It’s not just a few cowboy was a time when warrants were Mapplethorpe exhibits, I argued cops causing the trouble; it’s a By Ed Pekarek Gates) could hit you up for another issued almost strictly for robbers with the self-righteous, moral- societal mentality. And only and Manju Gupta “donation” at the cash bar while and murderers. Now, kids who istic majority ad nauseum that when Cincinnati faces up to that “Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding,” the Tina’s “ex” (Joseph Ruffner) tells parked too close to fire hydrants Mapplethorpe should be al- and starts to question its igno- brainchild of former advertising stories about “the old days.” The find themselves the targets of the lowed to exhibit his photos. “If rant obedience and enforcement executive and “Sopranos” actress 8-months-pregnant maid of honor same law and order mentality. you don’t want to see them, then of the law at all costs, no matter Nancy Cassaro, has more staying Connie (Jennifer Raimondi) might That someone should so much as don’t buy a ticket. But don’t in- how innocuous the lawbreaking power than the average American slip you a strategic pinch. Timmy be arrested for a parking violation terfere with my God-given right might be, will Cincinnati ever marriage, now the videographer (Jason Mravec) is ridiculous; that he should be to see a picture of a man with a be taken seriously as a major running 14 may require a special close up, or shot over it is so absurd even whip up his ass.” Funny, yes, but city. Or, for that matter, as a years strong in you may stumble onto a semi-lu- Albert Camus couldn’t have their arguments were hypocriti- moral place to live in. New York and rid stolen moment in the bathroom, thought up the story line. cal to the core: “We object on Petrus is a 3L. recently fran- hallway or coat room. chised nation- Sal, the perfectly rumpled and ally. The non- oafish photographer (Don Mitri), Great traditional nup- will assuredly find the most inop- China’s spy-plane power play fails to fool tials that are portune moment to trip his flash. Seats Tony n’ Tina’s You can “dollar dance” with mem- By Francis S. Cwiklinski able to recover. Crewmen con- Big Gulp. prank-laden union are filled with bers of the wedding party (all pro- STAFF WRITER fessed that they were able to put China can hardly bolster its faux pas, garish dresses, big hair, ceeds go to Harvest for Hunger), After 11 days of detention on on their parachutes, but the re- global respect when it tries to sell extroverts, voyeurs and curious fun Hainan Island, the crew of the sulting G-forces rendered it im- the informed world on a position seekers. Fine art it is not, Navy EP-3E Aries II surveillance possible to exit the aircraft. of power based on a laughable The official cast of 30 consists plane, “bumped” out of the sky In all, China’s demand for distortion of the facts. The rest of 28 Clevelanders and features but for anyone over international waters near an apology rested on its loss of of the international community Lisa Ray as the gum-cracking, who’s ever been China, arrived in Honolulu. Why an aircraft and pilot, not on develops a perception of national bawdy bride Valentina Vitale, and such a delay? Apparently Chinese principles of international law security founded in the adult Ray Ficca as the smarmy, mousse- to a really bad leaders, especially military, or basic tenets of negligence. world, and reads literature writ- induced-pompadour-wearing wedding, this is wanted to use the incident to dent Granted, I can most assuredly ten by Clausewitz, Machiavelli groom, Anthony Angelo Nunzio, the superpower status of the assert that none of China’s and Marx, not Dr. Seuss. who always seems to be thinking, as good as a bad United States and In the short “Let’s get this thing over with and wedding can get demonstrate to its run, nothing has get to the honeymoon.” citizens the inter- China can hardly changed. The Directed by Ross Young, this without having national respect bolster its global United States will loosely scripted, in-your-face co- to buy a gift. for its own mili- continue surveil- medic soap opera promises to sur- tary prominence. respect when it lance flights in the prise, offend, taunt and tickle 280 or the father of the bride’s strip- Specifically, tries to sell the near future in or- guests nightly. per-girlfriend Madeline Monroe China wanted an der to keep tabs The festivities commence with (Trishalana Kopaitich) might just apology for spy- informed world on China’s recent a rather unholy ceremony held in pull you up on the wedding party’s ing and bringing on a position of developments in the outrageously appointed “Sanc- table to perform a rowdy rendition down its F-8 submarine tech- tuary of Love,” followed by recep- of “YMCA.” fighter jet. Wow. power based on a nology — tech- tion toasts of tepid bubbly and a The action whirls around the What bold strate- laughable distor- nology that could mediocre meatball meal served audience like a dervish and may gic and diplo- most likely pose “boofay style.” The host is a lounge even fall onto a table or two in the matic maneuver- tion of the facts. an offensive lizard emcee, “the Cadillac of ca- form of the show-stealing, village- REUTERS ing, considering threat to U.S. and terers” Vinnie Black, along with idiot usher Johnny Nunzio (Andy for the instant that China held all leaders had the benefit of pro- allied aircraft carriers. I guess we his highly incompetent offspring in Weiland). the cards — I mean crewmen. Let fessor Mickey Davis’ explana- should be thankful that our crew his famed “Bologna Palace.” A Playhouse Square and Hey me pose another scenario. In- tion on the difference between members are back on U.S. soil Fine art this is not, but for any- City production, “Tony n’ Tina’s stead of 24 crewmen arriving in a “but for” and a “proximate and were treated humanely dur- one who has ever been to a really Wedding” is now playing an Washington state, 24 coffins are cause.” Yes, our aircraft was ing their captivity. Although I bad wedding (c’mon, hasn’t every- open engagement at the historic unloaded at Bolling Air Force over international waters off have one large complaint about body?) this is about as good as a Hanna theater. Just look for the Base outside Washington, D.C. the coastline of China, but the how the crew of 24 was treated: bad wedding can be without hav- Conga line spilling out onto East The sole reason this did not two F-8s made three passes I thought with eight you get an ing to shop for a gift. The legend- 14th Street near Euclid. “Invita- happen can be attributed to Lt. before the accident, approach- egg roll. ary level of interactive hilarity lives tions” range from $38-$52. Call Shane Osborne. Immediately ing within five feet of the Cwiklinski, a 2L, says his up to its lore and “guests” can (216) 241-6000. after the collision, the American American plane. The situation first column next fall will be in never be quite sure whether or not Pekarek is the business editor plane rolled and fell nearly was more ripe for disaster than defense of the U.S. Army School a fellow reveler is in the cast. of the Gavel. Gupta is a contrib- 8,000 feet before Osborne was a 1-year-old sucking down a of the Americas. A boozy Father Mark (Mark uting writer. 8 P MAY 2001 THE GAVEL