2017 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner Virginia Law Weekly Wednesday, 4 October 2017 The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948 Volume 70, Number 6 Unity around north Concert for grounds Cville ANG’s thoughts are Eleanor Schmalzl ‘20 Take Me Out to the with the victim’s of (she/her/hers) the Las Vegas shoot- Staff Reporter ing. #vegasstrong

For students dedicated to the “work hard, play hard” Prof-Ball Game Thumbs up to Pro- philosophy, Foxfield was not fessor Ortiz arguing the only exciting event1 dur- Epic Systems Corp. ing the warm Sunday of Sep- v. Lewis before the tember 24. After the horses Supreme Court. ANG doesn’t raced and the booze dwindled, have a clue what an arbitration many UVa law students ral- clause is, but ANG is sure Pro- lied to attend “A Concert for fessor Ortiz convinced Justice Charlottesville.” The concert Kennedy to change his mind! occurred in Scott Stadium, attracting one of its biggest crowds (even with the fact that Thumbs side- students did not earn five sa- ways to the UK law bre points for attending). The student pursuing a concert brought the commu- porn career on the nity together to share in an in- side. ANG isn’t so sure this is credible common experience what “bare-ister” was supposed and show its unity against the to mean, but ANG looks for- events of August 11 and 12. ward to K-Don’s 17 page series The stadium filled with peo- of emails regarding this career ple from all areas and back- path. grounds. Tickets were free, allowing essentially any and every Charlottesville resident Thumbs down to attend who had a desire to to the 1Ls discuss- do so. Approximately 20,000 ing their “upcoming tickets were distributed, re- clerkship applica- flected by the mass of music tions” on the softball field. lovers in the stadium that Recreational softball leagues evening. Although the con- are not where ANG (or any law cession stands may have been student, or middle-aged singles frugal with their rationing of Professor Richard Schragger concentrating on hitting a pitch. Photo courtesy of Natalie Affinito looking for extracurriculars, cheese for pretzel-dipping,2 or anyone) goes to think about the overall feeling was one of career trajectory. Keep it to the camaraderie before the event Jenna Goldman ‘18 fessor Spellman remained on hit the ground for the out. After gunner pit, please. It’s literally even started. By the end of the (she/her/hers) the bench after sustaining a non- the game, Schragger said of his named for you. night, every person in that sta- Editor-in-Chief softball related injury earlier in highlight play, “At least I didn’t dium felt a new appreciation After a five-year hiatus, on the week, but hopes to play again get hurt.” for our beautiful city. Sunday, October 1st the North in the coming years. Called “the professor to watch” Congratulations Dave Matthews, lead singer Grounds Softball League Professor Schauer was thrilled by Professor Spellman from the to ANG for starting of Dave Matthews Band3 orga- (NGSL) restored the tradition to be back on the softball field, sidelines, Professor Hayashi hit ANG’s outlines. ANG nized the event in an attempt of the Faculty/Student Softball “When I taught at Michigan Law the first home run of the game. definitely thinks that’s to show love and support for Game on Park Field 6. in the ‘80s we had a faculty [soft- Though Hayashi played baseball why ANG got inducted into the his Charlottesville hometown. The event occurred on a crisp ball] team,” he said during the in high school, this was his first secret 1L society. Thank good- Matthews welcomed the thou- fall morning thanks to the nego- warm-up. time playing with faculty and ness ANG didn’t wait until Fall sands who gathered for the tiation efforts of Jonathan York Professor Hylton, one of the students at UVa Law. His wife Break. show before the concert began. ’18, who approached Professors founders of NGSL in 1976, and and son, Peter, who delighted Brittany Howard started the White and Hylton about form- Professor White, who led the in the spectacle, cheered him on music with a bang, followed by ing a faculty softball team to play original faculty team in the from the sidelines. Thumbs up to the Cage the Elephant. After their the students. “We felt this was league, and played collegiate Peter Hayashi, age 3, later Charlottesville Fire strong beginning performanc- too fun an event to not try and baseball at Amherst, captained led a pickup softball game on Department for ‘sav- es, the first surprise guest of get it up and running again,” said their respective teams. the spectator side of the fence ing’ our Productions the evening walked onto the York. Professor White assumed the against the Goluboff-Schragger Editor. From his ‘tragic’ bicycle stage. The crowd roared as Why had it previously been role of pitcher, sporting an all- kids. With impeccable form, Pe- accident. Conveniently the day Coldplay appeared, crossing so difficult to field a professor black tracksuit, sans tie. Pro- ter pitched against the Dean’s before his Law Weekly assign- the pond to volunteer their team? “According to Professors fessor Schragger and Professor children, who are both twice his ment was ‘due.’ ANG’s got both time to play for the Charlot- White and Hylton, two original Brown covered the outfield, height and four times his age. eyes on you, bud. tesville community. The band members of the inaugural NGSL along with student players Marc When asked about whether he performed some of their most fall season, several other faculty Capuano, Will Vieth, Joanna will pursue a career as a baseball famous songs including “The softball enthusiasts left the law Kelly, Collette McNeela, Avia player or a tax professor, Peter Pour one out Scientist” and “Viva la Vida.” school and the remaining faculty Gridi, Connor Kelley, Rebecca offered no comment. He did say for Hugh Hefner. Coldplay left the crowd with became very concerned about Kimmel, and Dascher Pasco. his favorite team is the Toronto ANG, for one, will chills in performing “Amazing injuries,” recalled York. Professor Hylton played Blue Jays. be wearing silk pa- Day,” a song celebrating the “A former colleague broke a catcher for his team with Profes- Though her husband played jamas all week. beauty of the world around us. hand during one faculty/student sor Cohen on first base, Profes- on Team White, Dean Goluboff The stands of people swayed game, perhaps that deterred sor Schauer on second base, and offered cheers of support for along to the music, letting the would-be faculty players from Professor Hayashi in left field. everyone at bat. “It’s a beautiful Thumbs up to Ste- message of the song sink in. participating,” pondered Profes- Student players included Jill day for this community event.” phen T. Parr. The The Roots and Pharrell Wil- sor Hylton, “but Jonathan came Winter, Vince Flynn, Carly Crist, Goluboff remarked, saying she weather this weekend liams performed next, bring- up with a reasonable compro- Jonathan York, Teddy Kristek, looks forward to the faculty/ was ideal for early Oc- ing to life recent hits including mise that attracted enough pro- Rebecca Chandler, and Chrissy student game tradition continu- tober. ANG is grateful that Parr “Happy,” “Blurred Lines,” and fessors to play.” Oberg. ing again. The Dean said she has given us a taste of fall, but “Get Lucky.” Pharrell, born York explained the deal, The game had a number of enjoyed watching students, pro- held off on the wind and rain. in Virginia, poured his heart “We decided that instead of hav- impressive plays: Hylton caught fessors, and their families all in- Keep up the good work! into his performance, express- ing one student team and one a throw from the shortstop to tag teract and hopes next time even ing his care and encourage- faculty team, we would have Schragger out at home, and Pro- more members of the UVa Law ment to the crowd between two mixed teams of faculty and fessor Brown laid down a bunt community will come out to play Congratulations to songs. He kneeled in front of students to try and prevent any but was foiled by a swift throw and spectate. Professor Deeks, you the thousands in attendance injuries.” from the pitcher to Cohen on The contentious game ended found ANG out. ANG as he charged us to continue This mixed-team format first, sending the criminal law 9-7 for Team White, but all cel- really is an SJD stu- to rise together. Everyone seemed to have assuaged profes- professor back to the dugout. ebrated with Ivy Provision sand- dent who has been living below could feel his compassion and sors’ fears of injury as Professors Professor Schragger made a dar- wiches and a postgame practice the floorboards of WB at the in- heartbreak about the horror Hayashi, Schragger, Brown, Co- ing outfield catch, where he ap- between the professors and vitation of Steven Glendon. our city experienced, making hen, Schauer, along with Hylton peared to have dropped the ball SOFTBALL page 5 CONCERT page 3 and White, all participated. Pro- but regained control before it 2 Spotlight VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 4 October 2017 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: SPOTLIGHT The Law Weekly reached out to affinity group leaders to write for us in a feature we are calling “Spotlight.” Our goal is to give leaders a regular platform to start conversations about issues they are facing, to reflect on the events of August 11th and 12th, and to educate the UVa Law community about their diverse experiences so that we can become better allies to our fellow classmates. If you or your organization would like to be featured, please reach out to us at [email protected].

This weekend, several community here at UVa Law, mal to most of us—something ence, we found out just how Ms. Mason also discussed board members from the Lat- the lack of Hispanic/Latinx we’ve learned to accept and important it is to see that what she says is the number in American Law Organiza- students is apparent. Fur- cope with. Not seeing some- sort of representation at our one predictor of success: re- Latin American Law thermore, Latinx lawyers and one who looks like you or school. silience. Her message to us Organization professors are not well rep- might share a common back- Upon walking into the was that we already had ev- resented in the ranks of our ground in the faculty is com- conference the morning of erything necessary for suc- tion (LALO) at UVa Law trav- faculty. After coming mostly monplace. But after experi- the first day, we were feeling cess within ourselves. Many eled to Atlanta to participate emotional. Seeing all of the times, students of color get in the 21st annual National Latinx law students and pro- dismissed by their peers as Latino/a Law Student Asso- fessionals around us was af- the “affirmative” hire. It’s ul- ciation (NLLSA) Conference. firming and validating. Then timately a condescending way The conference was a gather- we all sat down for the open- to elevate their status and put ing of over 150 Latinx law stu- ing remarks from the Presi- down someone who worked dents from over twenty law dent of the Hispanic National just as hard to attain the same schools across the nation to Bar Association, Erica Mason. position. Barriers to inclusion reconnect with our national Ms. Mason shared some take- are very real, and the Latinx umbrella organization and aways about her experience community’s ability to work other affiliate chapters. We as a Latina in the law. We’d past them is inspiring. had an incredible time, re- like to share them with you as Another part of the con- flected a lot about our iden- they give insight into what life ference focused on inequities tity, and learned a ton along is like as a Latinx law student. for Latinx people in the crimi- the way. First, Ms. Mason encour- nal justice system. This is a The theme for this year’s aged us never to hide who scary time in U.S. history for conference was “Latinidad y we are or our culture for the Latinx people. There seems to Rompiendo Barreras,” which benefit of others. Many times, be a trend of ICE agents wait- translates to “Latinity and Latinx students and profes- ing outside the courthouse for Breaking Barriers”. Latinxs sionals feel pressured to neu- immigrants who are showing make up around 18% of the tralize their identities through up for court dates. In some U.S. population, but accord- a process called “covering.” localities, ICE agents are even ing to the ABA Lawyer De- There are many instances entering courtrooms and mographics for 2016, only 4% where Latinx students and at- writing down names and per- of barred attorneys identify torneys feel like their culture sonal information spoken in as Latinx. At the conference, might not be agreeable with front of the court. Immigrants we focused on unpacking why the legal profession, whether are scared, which incentivizes those numbers are signifi- in interviews or working on them either to not show up cant in the context of what it a day-to-day basis. There is for court or to spend as little means to be a Latinx lawyer a pressure to assimilate into time in the courthouse as pos- in our respective communi- dominant culture and dress sible. The effect of this tactic ties. or talk in a way that fits the is to ensure that immigrants We talked a lot about From right to left, Daniel Natal, Victoria Granda, and Robbie Pomeroy norm. Ms. Mason’s message often plead out their cases representation and what that attending the NLLSA Conference. Photo curtosy of Robbie Pomeroy was never to “dim [our] light rather than wait for an in- looks like in law schools. from predominantly white encing Latinidad amongst to make someone more com- When reflecting on our own institutions, this seems nor- lawyers at the NLLSA Confer- fortable.” SPOTLIGHT page 5 The Role of Non-Black Allies The Black Law Student As- and that overt acts of support, demolished in 1965 to make way Not only do black students feel UVa Law students Jeri Brown sociation (BLSA) hosted an such as supporting a black stu- for shops and apartments be- burdened by having to speak out ‘19, Kelsey Watkins ‘19, and Mi- informational dialogue last dent in class, can be uncomfort- tween the University of Virginia against racially insensitive com- chele St. Julien ‘20 to the front 2 Katherine Mann ‘19 able but highly valuable. and the Downtown area. ments, but these moments have of the room to answer ques- (she/her/hers) Ms. Nelson highlighted the The burden of combating rac- a negative impact on black stu- tions. Ms. Nelson asked first for Columns Editor importance of Allyship with ism was discussed as well, with dents’ participation in the class- the panelists to describe some statistics detailing the low num- many students noting the ex- room, which can in turn affect examples of positive steps to- Monday night bers of black students in top haustion and fatigue that comes their academic performance. ward Allyship that these women called “The Role law schools, the prevalence of with being the black person re- If a student or professor ex- had seen at the Law School. Ms. of Non-Black racial profiling, and the stagger- sponsible for calling out racism. presses a racially insensitive Brown spoke about the work Allies.” Hosted ingly high rate of murder among One student suggested that non- idea, suggested one audience Virginia Law Women has done by Toccara Nelson ‘19, the pro- black transwomen (1 in 2,600 black allies can shift some of the member, non-black students recently to reach out to affinity gram allowed students and groups in order to include more faculty members to discuss the students of color, particularly in experience of black students at leadership roles. She said that the Law School, and what non- VLW’s approach was inten- black students can do to edu- tional and accommodating, and cate themselves about Allyship. had the goal of making people of Originally scheduled for Purcell color comfortable and safe. Reading Room, interest was When asked about ways to high enough that the event was improve the quality of Allyship, moved to Caplin Pavilion and Ms. St. Julien raised the issue of was attended by over a hundred language, specifically that some participants. Ms. Nelson noted non-black students use racially that the discussion could create coded language without realiz- discomfort, but during the dis- ing how it may be offensive, as cussion, participants spoke with in the time she heard another respect while they shared their student speak of visiting incar- experiences with racism and Al- cerated individuals as a “fun lyship. surprise.” She noted that racism The idea behind Allyship is often takes subtler forms than that non-black people who are that of a Tiki-torch bearing Nazi. concerned about racism and Ms. Watkins identified the need violence against black people in the Charlottesville commu- can play a role in supporting nity for volunteers, and said that black people in their communi- we need to go beyond the school ty. “Allyship is not an identity,” and think about the greater said Ms. Nelson, but rather “a Photo courtesy of Katherine Mann Charlottesville area. lifelong process of building re- compared to 1 in 19,000 in the burden by standing up to racist should feel compelled to speak Both Ms. Watkins and Ms. lationships.” One student not- general population).1 She also comments made in their pres- up. Ms. Nelson asked the audi- Brown described experiences ed that building relationships told the story of Vinegar Hill, a ence. Classroom discussions ence how many of them had in which students made flip- can be as simple as developing formerly thriving black commu- are one place were non-black heard a racist comment in the pant or insensitive comments friendships, and that friends can nity in Charlottesville that was allies can have a crucial role, as classroom, and over half the au- about affirmative action in their express concern or ask ques- it is often the case that there are dience raised their hands. Far presence. Ms. Brown explained tions about others’ experiences. 1 https://www.teenvogue. few black students in the room. fewer kept them up when she that the feeling of impostor Some students in the audience com/story/mics-new-project- asked how many times they had syndrome can creep in at such expressed a concern that people highlights-the-skyrocketing- 2 https://timeline.com/ spoken up in response. moments, and while she is con- want to call themselves allies murder-rate-of-black-transgen- charlottesville-vinegar-hill-de- During the second half of the fident in both her qualifications without actually doing anything, der-women molished-ba27b6ea69e1 program, Ms. Nelson invited ALLYSHIP page 5 Wednesday, 4 October 2017 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 3 Coming Up Roses Listening to new UVa Law ing what kind of sound they ners N’ Roses show for the music. When asked why he more live music in Charlottes- School cover band, Gunners wanted to pursue and re- first time on Thursday, Sep- came out to watch the show, ville, the better. The more law N’ Roses, one might assume hearsed separately during tember 21 at Buddhist Biker Brendan Woods ’19 sarcasti- students playing, the better.” Kim Hopkin the summer. Every member Bar. Alex expressed how in- cally responded, “Wait, this Vicky brought the discussion (she/her/hers)’19 devoted time and effort to credible it felt to finally share wasn’t a Bar Review event?” back to the main mission of Columns Editor make sure they could hit the what the band has been work- Officially sanctioned or not, Gunners N’ Roses when she ground running when they ing on with his friends. His the consensus showed this stated, “The best part for us, the six-piece came back to school. Then, in use of electric drums allowed show was definitely a Law at the end of the day, is to ensemble has September, the group came the band to achieve new School-wide event. From 3Ls play the music for our friends. been playing to- together to play with each sounds, while lead vocalist to 1Ls, the bar was packed. Music is, after all, something gether for years, other for the first time. Becca Jordan used her impressive The band unequivocally met you share with people.” This but that’s not the case. Lead described those first rehears- vocal range to switch between their goal of performing growth in the music scene guitarist Ben Lucy ’20 (2L- als as “amazing.” She re- different styles like Beyoncé “bangers on bangers.” just means that Law School MBA) and lead violinist Victo- After experiencing their students will have to fight ria Granda ’19 first met during first show, it’s hard not to (less) for their right to party. Libel rehearsals just this past think that the formation of Gunners N’ Roses is a group spring. After bonding about Gunners N’ Roses was des- of dedicated musicians com- being two of the three music tined. Vicky agreed remem- ing together to show UVa Law majors in the 2019 class, they bering how everything seemed Students a good time. discussed forming a band. to come together so smoothly. What can we expect from During those Libel rehearsals, Even the name of the band Gunners N’ Roses in the fu- Ben and Vicky listened to Jor- was serendipitous: Jordan ture? According to members, dan Naftalis ’18 sing and de- was telling her summer asso- the experimentation is just cided to approach her about ciate friends about the band beginning. The group is con- joining; she was enthusiastic when a 3L from Stanford sud- stantly looking for guest per- about the idea and agreed denly hushed everyone and formers who are willing to to become lead vocalist. The said, “Gunners N’ Roses.” Jor- join Gunners N’ Roses at up- search for other musicians dan’s response was, “That’s coming gigs. Ryan Snow ’17 led to Becca Chandler ’19 it. We’re done looking for a already joined them on stage and Alex Degroat ’19. “It took name.” She eagerly messaged once, expanding their sound about five seconds of hearing her bandmates, and the name through his use of a brass in- both of them play for Ben and stuck. Since then, support for strument, the trombone. It me to know we wanted them the band has gone through seems like UVa Law students in the band,” says Vicky. They the roof. People are respond- will never have to see the became the back-up guitar ing to their aesthetic and high same show twice. Band mem- and drummer, respectively. energy. Part of the credit for bers agree, “We’re just getting The final search was to find their great aesthetic certainly started!” Photo courtesy of Jenny Lamberth ‘19 a bassist. Even though they goes to Jenny Lamberth ’19, --- seem similar, the two instru- counted how the process of and Muse. Judging from the the artist who made the logo [email protected] ments require different me- coming together for the first high attendance and number that adorns the band’s popu- chanics to play. Becca ended time really validated all their of students belting out lyrics, lar Facebook page. up teaching Nate Shepherd hard work over the summer. they accomplished their goal As for any “rivalry” ru- ’19 how to switch from gui- “We’ve really focused on the of providing quality cover mors going around the Law tar to bass, and he caught music and then were able to songs. Most importantly to School, this journalist sim- on immediately. “With that, build friendships around that the group, the night brought ply couldn’t substantiate the the band was complete,” said love,” she said. out a diverse group of the stu- claims. Becca quickly assured Vicky. The Law School commu- dent body to bond over some- me that Gunners N’ Roses The band began research- nity got to experience a Gun- thing they had in common: supports music, period. “The

6. If you could meet one R: Enough to break the ice? CONCERT his words of encouragement HOT celebrity, who would it be Q: No. An adult polar bear continued from page 1 with the crowd before his fi- and why? weighs about 800 pounds. If nal song, “Mirrors.” He ap- BENCH Tom Brady. You shouldn’t it weighed enough to break the several people emotional. His propriately set the stage well have to ask. ice it would fall through and and passionate contribution to the for what was thought to be the die… show added to the feeling of last act of the night, Dave Mat- 7. If you owned a sports harmony in the air. thews Band. team, what/who would be 15. What’s the best gift Chris Stapleton took the The band gave an incred- the mascot? you’ve ever received? stage next, providing beauti- ible performance, including Tom Brady, see above. Tickets to go see my first Red ful lyrics and chords to soothe songs “Don’t Drink the Wa- Sox game with my uncle and my the crowd. The stadium took ter,” “Warehouse,” and “Grey 8. What did you have for grandfather when I was ten. a breath as he played, finding Street.” Dave Matthews sang breakfast this morning? time for reflection after the from the soul, continuing to Eggs and toast. 16. If the Law School had moving prior acts. The break light up the mass of people lis- yearbook awards, what in high-energy performance tening. Just when the people 9. If you had to pick one would you want to win? ended when the next big act thought it couldn’t get any bet- song to play non-stop in the Most likely to be a 4L. emerged—Ariana Grande was ter, Stevie Wonder came onto background of your life, ready to rock. the stage. He ended the show Max Wagner what would it be? 17. If you could know one Coming from Asia to per- with “Imagine,” a John Len- ‘19 “Hallelujah,” but the Rufus thing about your future, form at the concert, Ariana non cover, “Love’s in Need of 1. Have you ever had a Wainwright version what would it be? Grande set the tone with her Love Today,” and “Supersti- nickname? What? When will I become a billion- hit song, “Side to Side.” Run- tion.” Dave Matthews Band Yes. My family used to call 10. If you were a superhe- aire? I don’t like having to won- ning around the stage to ener- and Stevie Wonder beautifully me MJ. ro, what would your super- der WHEN it will happen. gize the crowd, she motivated ended the concert. The crowd power be? several people to sing and exited the stadium, some hold- 2. What is your favorite Metamorphosis, clearly the 18. What’s the longest dance along. Her performance ing hands and others still hum- word? best. you’ve gone without sleep ended with “Dangerous Wom- ming to their favorite tunes of Propreantepenultimate. and why? an,” inspiring all the women4 the night. 11. What’s something you 140 hours. It was second se- to belt out the lyrics, some It’s been over a week since 3. Where did you grow wish you’d known about mester sophomore year, the more in tune than others. She the concert, but the experi- up? law school before coming to week before classes ended for parted with expressions of ence has left a lasting impres- Cumberland, Rhode Island. UVa? finals, and I had a lot of stuff warmth and positive thoughts sion on all those who attended. There are dozens of classes to do. 7 a.m. Sunday through 3 for Charlottesville, centering Since the difficulties Charlot- 4. What’s the best meal you want to take, but you can’t a.m. Saturday. the crowd again on the under- tesville faced in August, the you’ve ever had? possibly take them all lying point of the event to join nation’s support for this small My mom’s chicken parm. 19. What’s your favorite together as one. city continues to exceed imagi- 12. If you could live any- thing to do in Charlottes- Invited by a symphony of nation. The number of famous 5. What’s your most where, where would it be? ville? high-pitched shrieking and performers who donated their interesting two-truths- My favorite city in America: I like running around the Park cheering5 voices, Justin Tim- time to bring joy to this com- and-a-lie? (And what’s Muncie, Indiana. fields at night. Either that or berlake took the stage next. munity is one amazing ex- the lie?) softball With a long set list, Timber- ample of that. “A Concert for I was in a Bollywood Dance 13. Backstreet Boys or lake sang several crowd pleas- Charlottesville” is one for the Company in college. *NSYNC? 20. If you could make ers including “My Love,” “Holy history books. As law students, I wrote a 20-page research Backstreet Boys. Is that even a one law that everyone had Grail,” “Cry Me a River,” “Rock we may not have time to reflect paper in a night (and started question? to follow, what would it be? Your Body,” and “Can’t Stop much on it with November the research that night as If you have a stupid opinion the Feeling.” And, as we all ex- quickly approaching, but our well). 14. What’s the best (or or fan theory about Harry Potter pected, the singer brought sexy memories of that night won’t I’ve never slept for more worst!) PG-rated pick-up you have to keep it to yourself. back in usual style, bringing fade anytime soon. than 24 hours in a row (Lie: line you’ve ever heard? Leave it to the experts like me. more unconstrained squeal- --- 25 is my record). Q: How much does And yes, J.K. Rowling would be ing from the zealous concert [email protected] a polar bear weight. bound by this as well. attendees. Timberlake shared 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 4 October 2017 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Appeals The Court of Petty Appeals is the highest appellate jurisdiction court at UVa Law. The Court has the power to review any and all decisions, conflicts, and disputes that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court is comprised of four associate justices and one Chief Justice. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: the Virginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all conflicts to [email protected].

Anonymous 3L is.3 ia Law Weekly. We spoke with dering of impartial judgments had Bodo’s this morning to (We / Us / Our)1 4. This action lies in both VanderMeulen, J., and que- among law students, faculty, have an effect on its rulings. v. Tort and Contract.4 We be- ried whether the Court’s opin- and whomever else the Court Especially not when such im- Court of Petty Appeals, lieve that the Court’s prior ions would continue to remain damn well pleases to adjudi- portant matters as the douch- and justices thereof, in consistent publishing of Court unpublished. We told the Jus- cate regarding. ery of a certain firm’s OGI their official capacity, but of Petty Appeals opinions has tice that justice required that 7. The resolution of such is- swag is on the line. especially Chief Justice created an implied contract opinions not be hidden from sues by a fair and open judi- 9. In short, unpublished Goldman and Justice with its readership to contin- the public. ciary and the publication of opinions lead to tyranny. And VanderMeulen ue publishing such opinions 3. Anonymous 3L also spoke such resolutions is crucial to as that one guy who lives in and, not having published, has with Goldman, C.J., on the the Law School community’s the van with the MNDSEYE Docket 17-139 breached its contract. We also same issue. Her response to trust in its overall system of license plate has (too) often believe that this action lies in Us was, “You try doing this ev- governance.6 reminded Us at the law school An Action for Damages in Tort because We are unhappy ery week, loser.” 8. Hiddenness and opacity events, tyranny is bad. the Court of Petty Appeals about this and that’s basically 4. Goldman, C.J., also made in the judicial function, begin- III. Remedies Complaint2 hile We have appreciated the 1. Anonymous 3L requests a I. Procedural Posture damage award from the Court puns, wittiness, and pomp of of two Court opinions for the 1. This complaint, made by “W two weeks of opinions lost, or Anonymous 3L to the Court of the Court, its more important function is the in the alternative, a “best of” Petty Appeals (CoPA) against compilation of the Court’s best CoPA, results from CoPA’s rendering of impartial judgments among opinions from the years past. failure to publish CoPA opin- 2. If CoPA refuses to start ions in the past two editions of law students, faculty, and whomever else printing its opinions again, the Virginia Law Weekly. We believe the only option is 2. Having used the abbre- the Court damn well pleases to adjudicate for President Steve Glendon to viation CoPA for the Court of appoint a special prosecutor to Petty Appeals, We now realize regarding.” look into the matter. We think that CoPA looks, in print, like that ANG or Gunner the Won- a kidnapper creating a ransom derdog would be good choic- note by cutting letters out of es.7 And if necessary, Lock recycled magazines, and We – Ungrateful Anonymous 3L who doesnt them up! We acknowledge that decline to use this abbrevia- Freedom of the Press is impor- tion, and instead will refer to know what he/she is talking about tant, but it’s more important CoPA as the Court. that the press prints what we 3. The Court has jurisdic- all that Tort law requires. If reference to important events ning with unpublished opin- want to read and gives it to us tion because the Court of Petty the Court requires us to be of national significance that ions of the court, will lead to for free. Appeals is being sued and more specific, the elements of took place here in Charlot- distrust in the system. Worse 3. We also believe that the because Anonymous 3L has the Tort of Intentional Afflic- tesville that the Law Weekly yet, Justices can render opin- Court of Petty Appeals should forgotten all Our CivPro and tion of Opinions Unread are felt it had a duty to cover. We ions that do not concord with change its name to the Petty doesn’t personally or generally clearly met. appreciate the coverage of na- pre-ordained law and prec- Supreme Court or the Court of remember what jurisdiction tional news, but We don’t re- edent, leaving litigants to Supreme Pettiness so as to in- II. Substantive Harms member seeing anything from the impact of the whims and dicate that it is the chief court our main source of informa- breakfasts of the judiciary to of pettiness in the land. Quit 1. Anonymous 3L has been tion, InfoWars.com, about decide cases of the utmost im- confusing us like New York 1 We realize it may be dif- an avid reader of the distin- Charlottesville. Mostly just portance. We don’t want the court system. ficult to learn how to speak guished opinions of the Court things about little green elves.5 fact that CoPA has or has not Italics, but law school is a of Petty Appeals since his 1L In Alex Jones We trust. 7 Robert Mueller was Our time for expanding minds and year, or basically for eternity. 5. The September 27 issue 6 See, e.g., maybe?, T.J., first choice, but he said he was learning new things, includ- 2. Anonymous 3L noticed of the Law Weekly again did James Madison, and friends. busy. . . ing tolerance of new languages that no such opinion of the not publish an opinion of the like Italics. Although a tonal Court was published in the Court. Anonymous 3L began language, Italics is not difficult September 20 Issue of Virgin- to worry that breakdown of Faculty Quotes to master. Just speak English law and order is imminent and in the sardonic and dismissive 3 Sorry Prof. Collins. You’re commenced to file this action. J. G. Hylton: “26 is practi- K. Ferzan: “I only heckled manner of Prof. Mitchell’s sto- the man. Don’t ever change, 6. While We have appreci- cally the only possible wrong three people yesterday!” rytelling. especially not out of that train ated the puns, wittiness, and answer to my question of what conductor hat. pomp of the Court, its more is a substantial majority of 50 K. Abraham: “For a good 2 Thanks to LRW and Prof. important function is the ren- hours.” lawyer, think of nitpicking as a Fore for teaching me how to 4 Maybe Crim charges, triumphal arch.” write a fake brief. What an im- too? Seems as bad as felony- 5 https://www.youtube. G. Geis: “So there were two mensely valuable skill. murder to Us, Prof. Ferzan! com/watch?v=L3zACfX6wB8 Peerlesses. I hope everyone ap- Heard a good professor preciates the irony there.” quote? Email [email protected]! Correction Virginia Law Weekly In the September 20 article, “Hunkered Down for Irma,” the paper misidentified the author’s update time interval. The COLOPHON update interval should have read “bi-hourly.” The Law Weekly regrets the error. Jenna Goldman (she/her/hers) ‘18 Editor-in-Chief

Eric Hall (he/him/his) ‘18 Jansen VanderMeulen (he/him/his) ’19 Managing Editor Executive Editor Anand Jani (he/him/his) ‘19 Production Editor

Kim Hopkin (she/her/hers) ‘19 Greg Ranzini (he/him/his) ‘18 Lia Keane (she/her/hers) ’18 Columns Editor News Editor Features Editor

Katherine Mann (she/her/hers) ‘19 Ali Zablocki (she/her/hers) ‘19 Julie Dostal (she/her/hers) ’19 Columns Editor Cartoonist-in-Chief Features Editor

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EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Sub- missions must be received by 12 p.m. Sunday before publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters and/or columns over 1200 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published. Wednesday, 4 October 2017 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Columns 5 SPOTLIGHT Living With Anxiety Unapologetically continued from page 2 Pop culture calls us petty, of the world. Anxiety affects everyone dif- Don’t tell us that getting over “extra,” paranoid, and crazy Don’t get me wrong. We ferently. it is the mature thing to do. vestigation and trial because hot messes. But really, our are fully aware that there are We are fast to doubt our We do not choose to be petty they want their cases in and Michelle Chang ‘19 other logical explanations to self-worth because someone just for the fun of it. It is not out of the court quickly. Years (she/her/hers) your seemingly unenthusias- or something has made us fun to constantly rehash why down the line, those convic- Guest Columnist tic “hi,” such as the fact that feel like we were nothing. no one loves us. tions become barriers for so it could be 7 a.m. on a Mon- Despite all of our accom- What we need is just for you many things. brains just nev- day. Statistically speaking, it plishments since, we are eas- to hear us out and patiently We also talked a lot about er stop work- usually isn’t a level five, let ily triggered to return to that talk us through as we recog- the current standing of the ing. A simple alone level 500. As a mat- negative space. We often feel nize when we’re being irra- Deferred Action for Child- “hi” catapults ter of fact, there usually isn’t like we are social outcasts be- tional. Our jealousy is not re- hood Arrivals program. This our brain into overdrive, and even a level. However, we cause we obsess over trivial flective of our distrust in you week is the cutoff for people we start wondering why you have again created a whole events. We require excessive but our distrust in ourselves. whose status are going to ex- didn’t include an explana- alternate universe (that is reassuring that things really Some of us are capable of pire from now until March 5 to tion point or an emoji. We very real to us) because of are ok because what we know disguising the anxiety be- renew for the next two years. instantly begin pulling up one single event. logically doesn’t easily trans- cause society tells us there’s There are several proposed our data points (popularly Here’s the problem: the late to how we feel emotion- something wrong with us. pieces of legislation going known as receipts) to see if little voice that tells us, “But ally. However, I’m here to tell you before Congress, many with you are behaving different- what if?” It’s the “what if” This makes most meaning- that we are not a burden and bipartisan support. We spoke ly. We are reluctant to take that keeps us up at night, ful relationships particularly our anxiety makes us who we with an expert who feels that things at face value because losing our minds over the difficult. With friendships are. The tendency to overan- the DREAM Act probably has our brains function exclu- one sentence you uttered or or romantic relationships, alyze is the same mechanism the best chance of passing. sively on a worst-case-sce- one text you sent. What if we we get jealous very easily. It that makes us highly effi- We encourage everyone in the nario mode. Maybe that’s misread your text, and you is not because we think you cient and highly functional. UVa Law community to call why we make great law- were actually upset? What if are an unfaithful friend or It’s the same reason that we their representative and sen- yers. you’re no longer invested in partner, but rather because are detail-oriented and ex- ators to support this legisla- We don’t want to be this us? What if we hurt your feel- we are insecure. We see all cellent at risk analysis. It is tion; timing is important and way. We want to just go with ings? What if we turned in your effort to be there for that same skill that allows us the momentum we feel now is the flow and let things go. the wrong assignment? What us, but anxiety tells us that, to be empathetic and percep- what will propel the passage But the smallest things can if our email never sent? What sooner or later, you will leave tive. We don’t need shining of this protective legislation. set us off. Why didn’t you tag if we read the wrong cases? us. Why would anyone want knights to save us. After all, Attending the NLLSA me in that meme? Are you We are afraid of failures, to be friends with, or in a re- we didn’t get here without Conference was a time of upset with me? Are we not and we are afraid of losses. lationship with, someone so knowing how to cope with revitalization for our orga- friends anymore? We are terrified of people broken? So, it’s only natural anxiety. What we need is un- nization. We congratulate This is where the panic sets leaving us or hurting us. that you would want to re- derstanding and patience. our very own Daniel Natal in. We relive and reevaluate Some of us lost loved ones. place us with someone who is We just want someone to lis- for being re-elected to the literally every single second Some of us were assaulted. capable of being optimistic. ten to the rationales behind NLLSA National Board as the of interaction we ever had Some of us were abused. That’s the fear behind every our anxiety and panic and Mid-Atlantic Regional Direc- with you, your friends, and Some of us experienced bout of spiraling overthink- say, “That’s silly and I still tor. We look forward to con- even our friends’ encounters trauma that we will never ing. love you.” tinuing to support Hispanic/ with your friends. We must speak about. Some of us have Please understand that Song suggestions for simi- Latinx students at UVa Law have all the relevant infor- always lived with anxiety. anxiety is a part of who we lar experiences: “Ready For in every way we can and hope mation in order to make an Sometimes there are no ob- are, and stop telling us to Ya” by Demi Lovato, “Liabil- that our peers help us to do accurate assessment of the servable physical manifesta- “just relax” or “just chill.” ity” by Lorde, and “Messy” by the same. situation. We need to be pre- tions, yet sometimes we are It’s insulting and hurtful. It Fifth Harmony --- pared because our anxiety immobilized for minutes or presumes that we can control --- latinamericanlawuva@ has convinced us that this is hours on end. The walls close our anxiety and that we are [email protected] gmail.com a level 500 and it is the end in and we cannot breathe. bringing this on ourselves.

ALLYSHIP and reach out to black students. ed by Ms. Watkins is below: SOFTBALL during the spring season. They continued from page 2 “They need those resources as The Fire Next Time, by James continued from page 1 believe the injury-free fall game well.” Baldwin will convince more professors to as a law student and her ability Ms. Nelson concluded the Narrative of the Life of Fred- their kids. York summed up the play. to respond, she feels she might program with a list of next steps erick Douglass, by Frederick game’s ésprit de corps, “UVa In an aside to the Law Week- appear defensive. Ms. Watkins for the audience. She encour- Douglass Softball is all about community; ly, Professor Hylton mentioned said that in her Constitutional aged the audience to read and The New Jim Crow: Mass getting to play our professors “Jim Ryan [President-elect of Law class last year, she felt that support the list of demands from Incarceration in the Age of Col- was a lot of fun. I’m really going the University of Virginia] is a arguing for affirmative action UVa’s Black Student Alliance.3 orblindness, by Michelle Alex- to miss this.” fantastic softball player and par- was perceived negatively by oth- She suggested that student or- ander Professor Cohen spoke for the ticipated in numerous faculty/ ers. In both women’s experience, ganization leaders include black The Souls of Black Folk, by faculty when he told the Law student games when he taught having a non-black ally to speak attorneys when organizing W.E.B. Du Bois Weekly, “Escaping without in- at UVa Law.” Perhaps if this There is a River: The Black jury was key.” With none imme- tradition continues, President- Struggle for Freedom in Ameri- diately apparent among the fac- elect Ryan will make time to ca, by Vincent Harding ulty and students, the game was play a couple innings on North David Walker’s Appeal, by deemed a success. Grounds at his alma mater. David Walker York, Professor White, and --- Making Whiteness: The Cul- Professor Hylton are in discus- [email protected] ture of Segregation in the South, sions about NGSL hosting a 1890-1940, by Grace Elizabeth second faculty/student game Hale At the Dark End of the Street: Black Women, Rape, and Re- sistance – A New History of the Civil Rights Movement from Rosa Parks to the Rise of Black Power, by Danielle McGuire From left to right, Jeri Brown ‘19, Michele St. Julien ‘20, and Kelsey Watkins ‘19 The Black Woman: An An- speak at BLSA’s Photo courtesy of Katherine Mann thology, by Toni Cade Between Barack and a Hard up in those moments would events and that students include Place: Racism and White Deni- have been valuable. “Back-up is black students in study groups. al in the Age of Obama, by Tim good because it gives an air of le- She also suggested being aware Wise gitimacy,” said Ms. Watkins. of one’s implicit bias. Many pro- “Allyship is helpful where gram participants had taken As for the event itself, Ms. Nel- black people are traditionally the Harvard Implicit Bias test4 son thought it went really well, excluded,” said Ms. Watkins. before attending as a first step and was happy with the turn- “Sometimes stopping to explain toward this goal. She also em- out. “These are people in the takes away energy, so you can phasized the need for non-black community who really care and be helpful in spaces you already allies to do seek out information. want to be better at supporting occupy and have access to.” Ms. A suggested reading list provid- black students,” she said. “This Brown added that black stu- was a good first action for a lot dents “would like to feel safe ev- 3 https://ojwgq1ost- of people.” For those who would erywhere,” and that non-black m42ulxuw45kfbt8-wpengine. like more information about allies can “make the spaces you netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/ BLSA or Allyship, please contact inhabit safe” for black students, uploads/2017/08/March-to- Toccara Nelson at allyshipblsa@ such as in student organizations Reclaim-Grounds-Demands-2. virginia.edu. and in activities like softball. She pdf --- also suggested that peer advi- [email protected] sors ask themselves who they 4 https://implicit.harvard. Peter Hayashi, age 3, works out in front of professional scouts. tend to build relationships with, edu/implicit/takeatest.html Photo courtesy of Professor Barbara Spellman 6 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 4 October 2017 Bus Blunder Abandons Famished 3Ls Last Thursday was the his strength, commented bus when there should have long-awaited 3L Bonfire. breathily, “annoyed, frus- been a short. Why the bus- An event that some law stu- trated, starving.” es were different sizes re- Eric Hall While trying to drown out mains unanswered. Would (he/him/his)’18 groaning bellies, one group not three large buses have Managing Editor broke into a game of cha- worked just as well? Were rades. Interest waned when the short buses a subtle snub dents wait two every clue was food related, at too-slow students not and a quarter and someone guessed “Don- quick or cool enough for the years to attend. ner Party!” with a touch 7:10? Many even too much enthusiasm. By Said Lia-Michele Keane choose UVa Law just for the the time the bus arrived, ‘18, “I was on bus two, it was free hot chicken and s’mores the fifty-person crowd had empty. I then arrived at the served atop the Misty Moun- dwindled by half. “I have no bonfire, drank all the booze, tain. And on Thursday Sep- idea where they went” said and ate all the mac ‘n cheese tember 28th, the evening fi- 3L Jeff Dahmer, who seemed because I’m a proponent of nally came—for most 3Ls. satiated when the bus ar- survival of the fittest or first For the rest, the bus didn’t rived. in line.” To their credit, the come for nearly an hour af- Some remaining 3Ls were organizers offered a full bus ter its scheduled departure. determined to redeem this ticket refund to the surviving That left about fifty starved hallmark of 3Lship. When late-bus 3Ls. 3Ls stranded in the parking asked if he planned to con- --- 3L Katerina Seifkas charades her impression of Grandma Donner. lot by the JAG school. “Bus cede that chicken would not [email protected] Photo courtesy Eric Hall. is three minutes away from be forthcoming, Peter Bautz the school,” said Connor ‘18 responded, “We will fight Kelley, thirty minutes before on the beaches, we will fight the bus arrived to pick up its in the parking lot.” atrophied passengers. Asked The official story from for comment, normally- event organizers Kelley and stoic 3L Steve Pet said “We Laura Gregory, was that the are hungry, WE ARE HAN- bus company blundered the GRY!!” Another 3L, saving bus order, launching a large Cartoon By Ali

Surviving 3Ls huddle for warmth. Photo courtesy Jenna Goldman. CROSSWORD This week, the editors at the Law Weekly decided that a change of pace was in order. Thus, we give you this crossword puzzle. Before we get a bunch of angry emails from our readers who depend on the reliability of sequential whole numbers to maintain order in their lives, sudoku and the docket will be back next is- sue. Answers will be published on Instagram @virginialawweekly and on our Facebook page.

Crossword Clues

Across

9. Law School Prom 11. 1L class most likely to make one terrified of trains 14. 1L equivalent of a trea- sure map 15. Thursday night fun (ev- ery two weeks at least) 16. Acronym for local cult

Down

1. Wi-Fi network name (or a small spaniel) 2. Glendon promises, and then fails to deliver, these 3. Topic of nervous interest for 1Ls 4. Longest running UVa Law tradition 5. Terror lurking under WB benches 6. 1L performance event that brings great joy 7. Local semi-annual pastel fashion show 8. See you at _____ 10. ABA 2017 Best Student Newspaper 12. Nickname for UVa Law Student “productivity” area 13. Bar Review is on ______