THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April 22, 1997 PAGE 13 THE PEEL DEAL / MOVIE PEVIEWS NEW ON VI This Anaconda Bites, But Not in a Bad Way The Schlocky Reptile Epic Is Pure Entertainment All the Way to Regurgitation Jamie Peck Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

i Finally, it's safe to go back into the jungle. After last year's disasters The Island of Dr. Moreau and The Ghost and the Darkness, it seemed as though adventures in exotic locales were dead. But now there's Ana- conda (***), an outrageously enter- taining variation on the killer animal genre established by Jaws way back in 1975. Instead of a monster shark, we have a 40-foot snake, the Anaconda Merrick Morton / 20th Century Fox of the title, a powerful creature that ; Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes cuddle in one of the few chows down on anything with a pulse non-pretentious scenes from William Shakespeare's Romeo — in this film, that means monkeys, ! & Juliet. humans and even a panther will be devoured before the credits roll. Wherefore Art Romeo? A filmmaking crew — including director Jennifer Lopez (Selena), The Modernized Tragedy Is a Travesty cameraman Ice Cube, narrator Johnathan Hyde (Jumanji) and tour 101 Dalmatians (*** out of four) Even though the dogs don't talk guide Eric Stoltz — serves as the (and you'd think they would pick up a cue from the success of Babe) and snake's potential menu. They're trav- Columbia Pictures the movie's last half-hour is pretty much a series of animal reaction shots, elling through the Brazilian rain for- In Anaconda, Jennifer Lopez takes aim at her slithery adversary while Ice Cube tries to free himself oic this live-action version of the 1960s Disney animated classic is still pretty from its vice-like grip. fir est in hopes of completing a cute. And Glenn Close is a screeching hoot as Cruella DeVil, the studio's documentary on the natives that in- comes a campy adrenaline rush as which should remedy this.) It's less the Anaconda makes a meal of the all-time meanest villainess, a would-be dognapper who hopes to poach a habit the swamp-like area. Along the cast members are plucked off in some a major flaw than a minor one; all of ship's pilot and the crew figures out ID whole litter of adorable Dalmatian pups so she can fashion a spotted en- way, they run across a marooned ex- really interesting ways. the Anaconda close-ups (which are Voight's scheme, Voight selflessly semble. The art direction and production design are also tops. plorer (Jon Voight, even more de- Anaconda should be nothing more mostly animatronic) work nicely, and replies, "Don't make me out to be the Of The Associate (**'/2) Whoopi Goldberg plays a brainy investor who lightfully hammy than Moreau's than trash, but great atmospheric val- besides, some of the shark scenes in monster. I didn't eat the captain." finds herself continually passed over for promotions because of the bla- Marlon Brando). They allow their ues (especially Kirk M. Petruccelli's Jaws looked fake too. Anaconda is just about as good as tant sexism in the corporate world. What's a working girl to do? She in- new companion to sail down the river production design and Bill Butler's The casting also pays off. Each a movie about a killer reptile can be. vents a male business partner to secure a climb up the business ladder. with them, after Voight shows some cinematography—he shot Jaws) and actor fits their character quirks nicely, Before the opening titles, we are told And for the record, Goldberg doesn't don drag until the movie's last 40 fast first aide know-how when Stoltz slick writing raise it above the level but the real star of the show (besides that Anacondas sometimes regurgi- minutes. It's a low energy film with few big laughs, but Goldberg does Ji.ii is stung by a poisonous wasp. of the shlocky monster movie that the snake) is Jon Voight, and he tate their prey so they can enjoy them have a warm relationship with her secretary, who's played as nice and But Voight soon lets his true col- you're likely to find on UPN at two doesn't disappoint. Playing a hammy a second time around. There's never' sincere as Mrs. Claus by Dianne Weist. Still, as comedy goes, The Associ- m ors show — he's actually in the area o'clock on a given weekday morn- villain can draw out a bad perfor- any doubt that we will see this hap- ate is pretty much business as usual. 5 to capture the mythical Anaconda ing. mance (see Joe Don Baker in Congo), pen to one of the movie's stars. And -B Emma (****) Gwyneth Paltrow is luminous in Jane Austen's delight- alive, and he's ready to commit mu- Occasionally, the computer-gener- but Voight is up to the challenge. His when it does, the scene works with ful comedy of manners; she plays s« tiny and much worse in order to do ated snakes look a little too computer- leers and sneers exude the kind of such gooey, scary satisfaction that Emma Woodhouse, a brainy busy- so. And once he successfully attracts generated. (I recommend sitting as tongue-in-cheek menace that's a even Indiana Jones would run body who's so into playing match- ■iM to the snake's attention, the movie be- far back in the theater as possible, must for all movie bad guys. After screaming from the theater. maker for her circle of friends (which s oaJ US* include Toni Collette of Muriel's 4 en 1 Wedding and Train-spotting's Ewan 1 Hi '» ■ MacGregor) that she overlooks the arf IP .4 Also Playing at Your lack of passion in her own life. Amy ZlfiJ srii bsri IsrttS Heckerlirig reworked the same story ^ an owl "nitTO?3ir to accommodate her own Clueless '1 Leem i neater... (my second favorite movie of 1995) 0 ! Capsule reviews by Jamie Peck. Connelly and Billy Crudup) from a two summers ago, and this adapta- The 6th Man (*]h) In this lame sturdy cast even when the story fails tion ranks right up there with that *>■ w basketball comedy, Kadeem Har- to generate anything other than pas- one. Emma was unjustly overlooked David Appleby / Miramax Films dison plays a ghost who visits his sionless melodrama. by both the viewing public during its Emma's Gwyneth Paltrow brother's struggling college team to Liar Liar (***) A hotshot attor- August art house release and the longs for the love that eludes help them out. The 6th Man takes a ney (Jim Carrey) is forced to tell the major Oscar categories (although it her. formulaic approach to all this non- whole truth for a full 24-hours. You won for original score and was nominated for costume design), so here's sense, which means it takes turns never really buy Carrey as a law- to hoping video will give everyone a second chance to discover a first- being schmaltzy, silly and just plain yer (is he really believable as any- rate gem. stupid, notwithstanding some good thing but Jim Carrey?) and the The Ghost and the Darkness (*'/2) Val Kilmer plays a bridge builder acting. movie doesn't take off for a good who takes his job to Tsavo, Africa, where two monster lions have been The Devil's Own (•••'A*) Brad half hour, but once things get funny, picking off the workers. Michael Douglas, as a big game hunter deter- Pitt's performance ranks as high as they don't stop. I dare you not to mined on bagging the killer kitties, makes one heck of an entrance as he his powerful turns in Seven and 12 lose it in one sequence where bumps and grinds with local tribesmen. All of this nonsense adds up to a Monkeys as an Irish emigree in the Carrey bounces honest, venomous surprisingly grueling story, even if it is adapted from a true story by the U.S. to export Stinger missiles back insults off the executives in a board usually strong William Goldman; in place of the macabre wit he's brought Marsha Blackburn / Orion Pictures to his homeland. Harrison Ford is meeting like rubber balls. to such films as Misery and The Princess Bride, he uses understated lines Joe Pesci is all thumbs as he makes his departure with 8 Heads uniformly strong as the New York Return of the Jedi Special Edi- to a ludicrous effect ("You must go where the rivers are," Kilmer's wife in a Duffel Bag. cop who unwittingly takes him in. tion (****) This capper to George tells him). The Ghost and the Darkness is right down there with The Is- We don't really learn anything new Lucas' amazing Star Wars trilogy land of Dr. Moreau as the worst jungle adventures of the decade. And about the IRA, but do we need to? ties up all the loose ends while add- poor Kilmer — he's in both. A Farcical Head Case The Devil's Own assaults the senses ing character layers and spinning Lone Star (***) John Sayles' Southern crime drama concerns the dis- Pesci's Got a Noggin Problem in the Bag with plenty of brisk tension. more plot twists. Souped up with covery of a skeleton and badge in the desert of a small Texas town near l Double Team (* h) Jean-Claude an added musical number in Jabba's the Mexican border. The current sheriff (Chris Cooper) heads up an in- Jamie Peck getting into trouble. One ends up in Van Damme and NBA superstar palace and a brand new finale, Jedi vestigation, and uncovers that the remains belong to the province's law- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer a motel washing machine. Another Dennis Rodman play the mis- throws the much despised Ewoks man (Kris Kristoferson) who disappeared decades ago after exchanging is carried off by a coyote. You get the matched team of the title, a dis- (hey! I like the little buggers!) into death threats with his deputy —Cooper's father (Matthew McConaughey) With a title like 8 Heads in a Duf- idea. This forces Tommy to use his avowed CIA operative and an the mix and offers some of the best — in public. The drama plays out slowly but surely, and ends up satisfy- fel Bag (**'/2), you don't expect two hostages to find substitutes so he omnisexual arms dealer. They get special effects of the series. ing entertainment even when things get talky and melodramatic. Sayles Gandhi. But what sounds like the won't get busted by his boss. together to save Van Damme's wife The Saint (••V2) Credit Val gets g6od performances from his cast, especially Elizabeth Pena as a school perfect film to share a triple feature As written and directed by Tom from the vengeful mercenary Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue for cre- teacher who romances Cooper, and caps things off with a surprise twist marquee with My Left Foot and The Schulman, who won an Oscar some (Mickey Rourke) who's kidnapped ating a chemisty that carries this that's as shocking as The Crying Game's. Belly of an Architect actually ends up time ago for his (surprise, surprise!) her. If it sounds awfully dumb, that's otherwise messy spy picture. Where The Preacher's Wife (***) Whitney Houston and Denzel Washing- being passable entertainment. Dead Poets Society screenplay, Duf- probably because it is. most action films offer great, thrill- ton have charming chemistry to spare as a troubled preacher's wife and This unordinary comedy stars Joe fel Bag is an original if uneven film. The English Patient (•••*) A ing sequences and characters that the angel sent to get her husband's church out of a financial fix. The pro- Pesci as (what else?) a mobster The story's general silliness is mortally wounded Hungarian count barely register, The Saint does ex- ceedings are cute and family-accessible enough that it shouldn't surprise named Tommy Spinelli. Tommy's quaintly offset by some big laughs (Ralph Fiennes) tells the story of his actly the opposite. The result isn't you that this is a Disney release, and it's got plenty of rollicking gospel flying to San Diego, where he will —at least as many as there are heads. illicit affair with a married woman that bad, but it is somewhat mid- tunes courtesy of Houston's vocal dynamo. What it lacks is dramatic fire offer his boss a duffel bag contain- And speaking of those heads, they're (Kristin Scott Thomas) to his dling. — is Gregory Hines' bad guy developer really all that bad? But a shortage ing the mugs of eight adversaries as great even though they're not seen troubled nurse (Juliette Binoche), all Scream (***'/2) Finally, a com- of character tension never really ruins anything; it just makes the film proof that the ordered hit has been often enough. Creations by special circa WWII. The English Patient petent, thrilling, shocking horror winningly low-key. committed. Things get confused makeup effects producer Keith does what all great movies must: flick with a fantastic sense of irony William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (**) By translating theBard's when he arrives at said destination, VanderLaan and the Academy transport you to another place and and self-parody. Wes Craven's tale of doomed passion to an MTV-style fantasy land, a powerful tale is and his priority parcel is switched Award-winning team of whiz Greg time and intoxicate you with every scary movie finds a group of teens throttled to death with nausea-inducing editing and screechingly loud per- with that of jittery, vacationing med Cannom, they're even allowed to shot. In a word, beautiful. pitted against a black-clad psycho formances. As the star-crossed lovers, Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes student Charlie (pleasant debut actor break into song — a funny, eight part Grosse Pointe Blank (***'/2) As who kills when and if his victims are both photogenic and nice, but one wonders if a more straight-laced Andy Comeau), who's on his way to harmony rendition of "Mr. Hitman" a hitman who reluctantly goes back disobey the rules to popular slasher adaptation rather than a half-parody would do them better justice. The visit his fiancee Laurie (Buffy the (inspired by "Mr. Sandman"). to his hometown for his 10-year films (like "Don't answer the soundtrack is catchy, but most of the set pieces are not, chief among them Vampire Slayer star Kristy Swanson) For this kind of movie to succeed, high school reunion, John Cusack phone," etc.) Scream loses logic in a disco ball where Mercutio (Harold Perrineau) dons drag and takes part and her dippy parents (a tanless however, it has to have a well- gives his slickest, funniest perfor- its final scene, but runs an exciting in a disco number, complete with background Chippendale dancers. That George Hamilton and Dyan Cannon) grounded sense of realism. The best mance yet. The story itself offers fever pitch from opening titles to sound you hear is Shakespeare rolling over in his grave. in Mexico. farces know this (see The Birdcage), plum roles for a nice supporting cast end credits. ALSO IN STORES ... Bad Moon (•) A werewolf (Michael Pare) Using what little clues he can sal- and the no-brainers don't (see the and plenty of uproarious darkly co- Sling Blade (**+lh) Billy Bob endangers the lives of his sister and nephew when he parks his trailer vage from Charlie's bag, Tommy fol- Weekend at Bernie's films ... or skip medic segments. Grosse Pointe Thornton plays a mentally chal- outside their country home. Complete with corny special effects and a lows a trail leading to his college them, for that matter). Duffel Bag Blank is the most hysterical movie lenged killer who is freed back into dumb screenplay, Bad Moon is a very bad movie. The Glimmer Man (no roommates (David Spade and Todd only remembers half the time, and so far this year. society after a long stay at a reha- stars) Steven Seagal teams up with Keenan Ivory Wayans in this month's Louiso). He tortures them into reveal- that seriously hampers some seg- Inventing the Abbotts (**) bilitation center. Slow moving to a by-the-numbers crime drama. It's called The Glimmer Man because you ing where Charlie's spending his ments that would have otherwise Teens from two very different fami- slight fault, Sling Blade offers in- allegedly get only a fast glimpse of Seagal's character before he kills you. spring break. So all three make the taken off. (Are hotel housekeepers lies — one wealthy and one ne'er- teresting, complex characteriza- Or is it because the movie passed through theaters faster than diarrhea? reluctant journey south of the border really this ignorant about laundry?) do-well — fall in love in a rural, tions and tells an original story. The Rich Man's Wife (***) Halle Berry plays a widow targeted by the in order to find the naughty noggins. But whenever 8 Heads lags, just 1950s town. Director Pat O'Connor Moody tension foreshadows a psycho (Peter Greene) who murdered her husband. I enjoyed this trashy, But once Charlie and Laurie dis- think about those craniums rolling (Circle of Friends) gets strong per- twisted ending even though you're clever thriller more than I probably should have, but I'm a sucker for cover that his duffel bag doesn't con- through the Mexican wilderness. It formances (namely Jennifer never sure quite how it'll go off. those twisty endings. —Jamie Peck tain clothes, the heads seem to be might get you rolling in the aisles.