How To Create Healthy Boundaries For Nonprofit Professionals Presented by : Sheena Greer
COMPANY NAME www.nicecompany.com Welcome Everyone!
You’re incredibly busy making the world a better place…
…But this work often takes a toll. What We’ll Discuss Today
1 What are boundaries? 3 How to start naming & claiming Definitions and different types of Step-by-step ideas for creating boundaries. change in your habits.
2 Why we’re vulnerable 4 Strategies for your workplace Some common traits and Some common workplace theories. issues and how you can combat them. A bit about me… My name is Sheena Greer
I’ve been working in the nonprofit sector for the better part of a decade…
- Held every kind of role, from programs to marketing to fundraising to making the coffee. - Focus on simple, powerful communications.
- I also have a dark secret… I HAVE SERIOUS BOUNDARY ISSUES Why?
Disposition Empathy Responsibility Problem Solving
(derp) What are boundaries? Definition
Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits. They are built out of a mix of beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning. Help build strong, respectful relationships. Increase productivity & create transparency. Build accountability within the team. Shared goals and expectations. Sets people at ease. Improves communication. Prevents workplace bullying. Encourages team members to think for themselves. Eases delegation issues. Minimizes misunderstandings. Four Flavours of Boundaries
Soft Spongy Rigid Flexible Six Types of Boundaries
Spiritual Material (your soul) (your stuff)
Sexual Physical (your body) (your space)
Mental Emotional (your thoughts) (your feelings) Violations Can Be Confusing
Material Mental Emotional
(and sometimes difficult to put your finger on…) The Right Distance
Friends Family
Co -Workers Strangers Blurred Lines
Family Friends
Co -Workers Strangers Do You Have Boundary Issues?
say yes when you mean no feel guilty for saying no act against your beliefs stay quiet to keep the peace over-giving to feel “useful” Do You Have Boundary Issues?
allowing yourself to be interrupted allowing yourself to be overly involved in problems your needs come second to results not expressing yourself if someone says something you find offensive accepting physical touch when you don’t want it YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Why are boundary issues huge in our sector? Individuals + Systems Hero Do-Gooder Community Passionate Minded
Who works for nonprofits?
Bleeding Heart Humanitarian
Selfless SELFLESS Dan Pallotta – Nonprofit Pathology
“Maybe people get into the compassion business full-time not because they’re more compassionate than others but because they’re codependent. Maybe the driving force is really inverted narcissism — an unhealthy and unexamined addiction to care- taking or to self-neglect.” Dan Pallotta – Nonprofit Pathology
“Maybe people get into the compassion business full-time not because they’re more compassionate than others but because they’re codependent. Maybe the driving force is really inverted narcissism — an unhealthy and unexamined addiction to care- taking or to self-neglect.” Dan Pallotta – Nonprofit Pathology At some point, “Maybe people get into the compassion business full-time not because they’rewe more havecompassionate to than ask others but because they’re codependent. Maybe the driving force is really inverted narcissism —ourselvesan unhealthy and unexamined why. addiction to care- taking or to self-neglect.” Why?
Disposition Empathy Responsibility Problem Solving
No resources Leadership
Pay inequality Dysfunction
Common Nonprofit Challenges
Silos Misconceptions
Wicked problems
People who are prone to give
Nonprofit Boundary Issues
Systems that are set up to take
Let’s name & claim our boundaries 13 Steps To Better Boundaries
Communicate Prepare Revisit Trust
Define Discuss Flex
Structure Reciprocate Shift
Know Manage Reward 1. Know Thyself
What are your core values?
What brings you here? 2. Shift Your Mind
Repeat after me…. It is perfectly okay and absolutely acceptable to have boundaries. 3. Define Your Boundaries
What are your current boundaries?
Your “Top Fives” 4. Communicate Your Boundaries
Do some boundary homework
Define some past violations
Strategize and discuss
Expect this will be difficult 5. Be Prepared For Violations
Visualize your plan of action
Watch your number of apologies 6. Discuss Violations Directly
I.D.S.R.S
Be direct and concrete 7. Use Structure Wisely
Time limits
Agendas
Action items 8. Manage Your Time
When you’ve maximized your time, it will be harder for people to steal it from you! 9. Reward And Thank
Acknowledge their help
Encourage them to continue 10. Reciprocate
Examine your own practices
Be mindful of changing yourself 11. Stay Flexible
Healthy relationships are the goal
Sometimes this will require flexing 12. Be Patient And Gentle
Change takes time
Trust your instincts 13. Revisit On A Regular Basis
What has worked well?
What more needs to be done? Common Workplace Issues Squeaky Team Members Personal boundaries encourage team boundaries. Unclear Job Description
ORG CHART Review your job description on a regular basis. Leaky Silos Transparency. Always. Useless Meetings Insist on structure and say no when possible. Poor Leadership Lead from the bottom up (or the middle out) Put a board member between you and the problem. Workplace Bullying The Bully Dirty Dozen
Insults Invasion Contact Threats
Public “Jokes” Emails Humiliation shaming
2-Faced Dirty Silent Interruptions Attacks Looks Treatment Strong boundaries help combat bullying. Let’s Review… Flexible boundaries are best People in our sector are prone to having boundary issues. Naming and claiming boundaries takes time and commitment
Communicate Prepare Revisit Trust
Define Discuss Flex
Structure Reciprocate Shift
Know Manage Reward Strong personal boundaries help you, your team, and the entire system. Stay In Touch!
www.colludo.ca 306.230.1951 [email protected]
www.linkedin.com/in/sheenagreer @colludos Thank you for attending!
COMPANY NAME www.nicecompany.com