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Esteem of Women in Narcissistic Relationships

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Esteem of Women in Narcissistic Relationships THEORETICAL CONSIDERATIONS FOR UNDERSTANDING THE NATURE OF RELATIONAL TRAUMA AND LOSS OF INTERPERSONAL SELF- ESTEEM OF WOMEN IN NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIPS A dissertation presented to the faculty of ANTIOCH UNIVERSITY OF SANTA BARBARA in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY In CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY By PATRICIA KELLY ZADEH JULY 2017 ROLE OF NARCISISSM IN RELATIONSHIPS THEORETICAL CONSIDERATIONS FOR UNDERSTANDING THE NATURE OF RELATIONAL TRAUMA AND LOSS OF INTERPERSONAL SELF-ESTEEM OF WOMEN IN NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIPS This dissertation, by Patricia Kelly Zadeh has been approved by the committee members signed below who recommend that it be accepted by the faculty of Antioch University Santa Barbara in partial fulfillment of requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY Dissertation Committee: ____________________________________ Salvador Treviño, PhD Chairperson ____________________________________ Brett Kia-Keating, EdD Second Faculty ____________________________________ Dierdre Morse, PhD External Expert ii ROLE OF NARCISISSM IN RELATIONSHIPS Copyright © 2017 By Patricia Zadeh iii ROLE OF NARCISISSM IN RELATIONSHIPS Abstract This research addresses the influence of pervasive narcissistic negative behavior among marriage partners. The purpose of this research is to investigate through extensive literature review, if and how individual women experience psychological distress as a result of marrying a narcissistic partner. A review of literature reveals that not enough research on the effects of narcissism in relationships is available. Notwithstanding, research has found that narcissistic personality traits are correlated with dissatisfaction in heterosexual marriage and intimate partner relationships (Links & Stockwell, 2002). There is also evidence that suggests some level of aggression and underlying abuse is related to narcissists in relationships. The behavior of individuals with narcissistic traits may affect the partner for years, during the relationship and post-relationship period. According to Solomon (1992), female partners are more likely to seek treatment for physical and mental disorders during the length of the relationship than male partners. Additionally, these partners who seek help experience emotional distress and psychosomatic symptoms in the form of low-self-esteem, identity-loss, anxiety, and depression. This study employs a theoretical approach to investigate conceptual aspects of women’s experiences, based on literature, in or as a result of their relationships to narcissistic partners. This method is preferred because it is the best model for this type of research. The electronic version of this dissertation is available in the open-access OhioLink ETD Center, www.ohiolink.edu/etd. Keywords: Narcissism, traits, grandiose, entitlement, marriage, relationships, abuse, victim, identity, loss, trauma, and self-esteem. iv ROLE OF NARCISISSM IN RELATIONSHIPS Dedication To my family and friends who believed and supported me every step of the way. To the most special people in my life, my children Louisa, Nicolas and Lucas for their eternal love and encouragement. v ROLE OF NARCISISSM IN RELATIONSHIPS TABLE OF CONTENTS Abstract .................................................................................................................................iv Chapter I: Introduction ........................................................................................................ 1 Introduction to the Study ............................................................................................ 1 Statement of the Problem ............................................................................................ 2 Method ........................................................................................................................ 3 Research Question ...................................................................................................... 5 Chapter II: Literature Review ............................................................................................. 6 Section 1: The Relationship in a Narcissistic Marital System ...................................... 6 Background of the Problem ........................................................................................ 8 Culture and Narcissism ............................................................................................. 13 The Myth of Narcissus .............................................................................................. 15 Narcissism Today...................................................................................................... 17 Till Death Do Us Part ............................................................................................... 20 Dancing with Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde ......................................................................... 23 Could It Be Love? ..................................................................................................... 27 Redefining Aggression.............................................................................................. 29 Malignant Love ......................................................................................................... 33 The Prognosis for a Narcissistic Marital System ...................................................... 36 To Be or Not to Be in the Relationship ..................................................................... 40 Section 2: The Narcissist in a Narcissistic Marital System ......................................... 43 Narcissistic Personality Disorder................................................................................. 45 Section 3: The Partner of a Narcissist in a Narcissistic Marital System .................... 51 The Women Who Love Them ..................................................................................... 51 Narcissistic Victim Syndrome ..................................................................................... 55 Victim’s Perspective .................................................................................................... 57 Mirror, Mirror: Sense of Self ....................................................................................... 60 Self-Esteem’s Role Not So Obvious ........................................................................... 61 The Empath’s Vulnerability ........................................................................................ 64 The Caregiver .............................................................................................................. 67 Identity Loss in NVS: An Echo of Her Former Self ................................................... 69 Trauma-bond Versus Co-dependency ......................................................................... 71 Chapter III: Case Studies ................................................................................................... 73 Kate .............................................................................................................................. 73 Kim .............................................................................................................................. 75 Linn .............................................................................................................................. 77 Chapter IV: Theory ........................................................................................................... 79 Safeguards ................................................................................................................... 84 vi ROLE OF NARCISISSM IN RELATIONSHIPS Sexual Connection ....................................................................................................... 85 Not Always All That Bad ............................................................................................ 86 Implications to Self Esteem Recovery......................................................................... 87 Reclaiming the Self ..................................................................................................... 89 If They Stay: Therapy, Therapy, Therapy ................................................................... 90 Chapter V: Discussion ........................................................................................................ 95 Living on Hope ............................................................................................................ 97 Role of Intimidation..................................................................................................... 98 Chapter VI: Conclusion ................................................................................................... 104 PTSED ....................................................................................................................... 104 Suggestions for Future Research ............................................................................... 109 Limitations ................................................................................................................. 110 Summary .................................................................................................................... 110 References ................................................................................................................. 112 Appendix A: PTSED Questionnaire ............................................................................... 127 vii ROLE OF NARCISSISM
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