1 | P a g e

What is a personal boundary? A line you draw to protect all or part of your life from being controlled, manipulated, fixed, misunderstood, abused, discounted, demeaned, wrongly judged. Your right to boundaries is not selfish. It is a simple principle of ownership. If you own it, it’s yours. You get to make choices for your life. If you treasure your life, you will make choices for its good. If you don’t you won’t. Constructing a solid, effective personal boundary system takes time. Once you are successful at setting new limits in one area, it will motivate you to move on to the next. "The first boundary I drew was between myself and my habit of saying negative things about myself to others.” Why personal boundaries? Boundaries define your identity: They are your borderlines, enabling an identifiable shape to emerge around your beliefs and preferences. This definition produces a confidence within you that lets others know what you have to offer, and what to expect from you. This will help you attract positive people and opportunities that will welcome who you are. Boundaries protect you from violators – people, beliefs, habits, and situations that lessen or block you in some way. Say no to what doesn’t fit and yes to what does. Boundaries speak for you. Give off an often unspoken message that usually discourages boundary violators. Boundaries bring order. Without them you will be unable to regulate the influence of the whims of others, bringing internal anarchy and the loss of an intentional life. Boundaries attract respectful relationships. Others who also have an effective personal boundary system will be attracted to you, increasing your probability of positive, respectful relationships. Attraction stems from admiration for a person who has made the effort to create boundaries and also from a belief that their own boundaries will be respected. Boundaries promote you. As someone with identity, confidence, self-care. You will know yourself and your strengths and want to use them in your life and work. You can be trusted to state clearly what you can and cannot do, offer workable alternatives, welcome input… etc. It will also enable you to withstand inevitable criticism from others at work. Boundaries protect you from the control of others. Boundaries preserve your purpose and mission. When you know your purpose and mission, you have even more reason to create better boundaries. They preserve you for those relationships and opportunities that fit who you are and what you want to do about it. You will be undistracted by sirens of opportunity. Boundaries protect your finest personal assets: your knowledge, body, skills, abilities, purpose, and mission. Boundaries satisfy your need for self-confirmation. When you draw lines around your life, you and your personality are defined. Your boundaries confirm you exist and in what form. They help you to be taken more seriously.

2 | P a g e

Professional boundaries a definition?

3 | P a g e

What are the boundaries of helpful relationships with guests? It is possible to be under-involved or over-involved in a professional relationship, rather than helpfully involved. Healthy boundaries keep the worker-guest relationship a safe one where the guest and worker are both respected, the guest’s human dignity, autonomy, and privacy are safeguarded, and the worker is recognised as a professional with certain obligations and rights. We protect the trust of guests by careful attention to the professional boundaries of our relationships with them. It is understandable for guests to feel that professionals exercise power over their wellbeing.

Continuum of Professional Behaviour

Under Zone of Over

Involved Helpfulness Involved

To the left we have under-involvement this refers to activity or behaviour that leads to neglect, and assault. On the right is over-involvement which could be summarised as "caring about" rather than "caring for” and may lead to a situation where the relationship between the guest and worker takes priority over the guest’s needs.

4 | P a g e

Professional Boundaries: a Simple Model

Appropriate Boundaries Boundary Crossing Boundary Violation

Indicators Indicators Indicators  Staff perform duties within legislative  Spending free time with a guest.  Entering into a sexual relationship framework. with a guest.  Planning others care around a guest’s  Avoid personal; bias in performance of needs.  Borrowing or giving money. duties.  Keeping secrets with a guest.  The indulgence of personal privilege  Promote guest's participation by a member of staff.  Acting or feeling possessive about a  Able to identify own strengths and guest  Abusive or neglectful behaviour. limitations  Sharing personal information with a  The colluding with or involvement in guest. illegal behaviours.  Changing dress style when working  The breaking of trust/divulgence of with a guest. privileged or confidential information.

5 | P a g e

Self-disclosure Self-disclosure is the sharing of personal information to improve understanding between persons. A worker may use self-disclosure when it is judged that the information might benefit the guest. However, personal relationships such as friendships or romantic involvement also begin with mutual disclosures. The formation of an inappropriate personal relationship with a guest can also result in emotional abuse and even severe harm to the guest and or significant others. The following principles about self-disclosure should guide the worker-guest relationship.  Self-disclosure by the worker must always be provided for the guest’s welfare. It is never acceptable when it is for the purpose of meeting the worker’s needs.  The worker should ensure that personal information is well related to the guest’s interests. Where the benefit to the guest of the disclosure is unclear, it is best to err on the side of caution and refrain from the disclosure.  It is never appropriate to form a personal relationship with a guest during the time that they are receiving support. When in doubt about the propriety of a potential relationship with a former guest, consult with your supervisor.

6 | P a g e

Gift giving Gift giving is complex. Gifts are given for many reasons. In all cultures, gifts are sometimes given from the care receiver to the caregiver. Forbidding the practice and insisting that workers refuse and return gifts may be harmful to the care-giving relationship. Decisions about gifts should be guided by your organisation’s policy; in general, small tokens may be acceptable on behalf of the staff team. Cash gifts should never be accepted What are boundary signs? Boundary signs are warning signals that professional boundaries are in question, or have already been crossed. Boundary signs tell the worker to stop and take another look at a relationship with a guest. Paying attention to boundary signs in relationships with guests safeguards the therapeutic relationship. What is a Boundary Violation? A boundary violation is an act of abuse in the worker-guest relationship. Abuse of guests in any form is unacceptable, and may result in discipline in the work setting, as well as possible criminal charges in certain circumstances. Staff who are aware of abuse must act to protect the guest’s welfare. Boundary violations occur when there is confusion of the professional’s needs with the guest’s needs. A boundary violation is typically characterised by a reversal of roles, secrecy, the creation of a double bind for the guest, and the indulgence of personal privilege by the professional What forms of abuse are found in boundary violations? Abuse is the misuse of power or a betrayal of trust, respect, or intimacy between the worker and the guest which the worker or others know may cause, or could be reasonably expected to cause, physical or emotional harm to a guest. This refers to all types of abuse. The client may suffer many psychological problems from the inappropriate relationship. Remember when there is an imbalance in power, the relationship is viewed as an abusive one. The client may already have been a victim of an abusive relationship that ended in lack of trust and inability to have appropriate relationships with others. They may be again living out the previous relationships, this time with the worker. The loss of the relationship or the expectations of the relationship can lead to depression, anxiety and sexual dysfunction. Those who are not able to cope with the relationship or the loss of the relationship may abuse substances.

7 | P a g e

Identifying risk of boundary violations The support worker/ client relationship, by definition, is one of unequal status. Clients come to the worker for support in times of need. Even psychologically healthy individuals may be vulnerable to the imbalance of power inherent in the relationship. Clients who are also suffering from other life stressors or clients with psychiatric disorders (such as those listed on the above table) are especially vulnerable.

Why are Guests Vulnerable to Boundary Violations? Impulsivity Low self-esteem Borderline personality Needs validation Confused, alone, want sex Marital problems and caring Psychiatric disorders Childhood trauma Why are Staff Vulnerable to Boundary Violations? Financial stresses Burnout Family problems Childhood trauma Naiveté Addiction (chemical dependence and sexual) Lowered self-esteem

Isolation

Workers are trained to function effectively and cope with the numerous stresses that come with the responsibilities of their position. When additional personal stressors occur, normal coping mechanisms may become strained. Workers may at such times become vulnerable to poor judgment and/or decision-making. They may also be at greater risk for succumbing to invitations of needy clients. It is important to keep in mind that a client may initiate boundary violations, but the worker is responsible for his/her own actions. Again, workers are ethically bound to do no harm. No one is immune from boundary violations Both male and female workers can be caught up in the slippery slope. Being aware of the warning signs and becoming aware of your own emotions can keep this from occurring in your own practice. You can have feelings. These are normal. Actions can be prevented. Being aware can prevent you from acting on the feelings.

8 | P a g e