School of Rock

Scene 1 Students enter the stage from “music class” talking to each other and finding their seats. We see a very excited Mr Schneebly with a guitar gesturing for students to enter faster. Stage blocks or chairs set in around the back of the stage with schneebly down stage.

MR SCHNEEBLY Come in, come on, fast fast fast, come in come in quickly- don’t let anyone see you.

BLONDIE What’s going on Mr Schneebly?

MR SCHNEEBLY How come none of you told me you could play music! YOU! Points to Zack Zack, have you ever played an electric guitar?

ZACK No, my dad won’t let me. He says it’s a waste of time.

MR SCHNEEBLY Well let’s waste that time together shall we? You’re our guitarist! Points to Lawrence Piano Man?

LAWRENCE I only play Classical!

FREDDY Excitedly raises hand I play percussion!

School of Rock SUMMER Only because he’s too stupid to play anything else.

FREDDY Shut Up!

MR SCHNEEBLY Ok...now for the bass. You! Posh Spice-

Points at Katie

KATIE My name’s Katie

MR SCHNEEBLY Whatever. You play the cello, right?

KATIE So?

MR SCHNEEBLY ‘Sooo’ Mocking Katie with a stereotypical Valley-Girl voice You’re our bassist!

KATIE I’m confused.

MR SCHNEEBLY Just flip a cello sideways and it’s practically the same thing. Oh- except you need the pout.

KATIE The who? This is just making me more confused.

MR SCHNEEBLY The pout!

Demonstrates a smouldering rock face

KATIE

School of Rock Uhhhh…

Copies Mr Schneebly’s expression

MR SCHNEEBLY PERFECT! Ok, I need a couple of roadies, I need someone on tech. Who wants to be security?

FRANKIE I will!

BLONDIE Me too!

MARCIE Count me in!

BILLY Can I be the band's stylist?

SUMMER Mr Schneebly! I still don’t have a job!

MR SCHNEEBLY What can you do?

SUMMER Well, I can sing!

MR SCHNEEBLY Oh Yeah! Belt it, Summer.

SUMMER Memories, All alone in the moonlight, Not a s.....

MR SCHNEEBLY Interrupts her looking pained Oooookkkaayyyy...how about being manager? That means I’m putting you in charge of the whole damn thing!

Summer is excited and walks off looking totally smitten.

School of Rock

MR SCHNEEBLY NOW we’re a team. We participate. And there is no “I” in participation.

SUMMER Raises hand obnoxiously Actually sir, there is an-

MR SCHNEEBLY Cuts her off First thing you do when you start a band- you talk about your influences. Points to Marcy You- who is your music idol?

MARCIE Taylor Swift.

MR SCHNEEBLY Who!? No! Go to the corner. You? Points to Mason

FRANKIE Kanye?

MR SCHNEEBLY Wrong! To the corner! Looks desperately at Billy Billy, give me something...

BILLY Lady Gaga? MR SCHNEEBLY

School of Rock Aside I should’ve seen that one coming. Turns to class Guys! Please! This is a ROCK band! I’m talking about bands that rock! Sabbath! AC/DC! SUMMER Who?

MR SCHNEEBLY Very riled up- spits out words in a ‘fit’ (as if sneezing) Led Zeppelin?!

BILLY Bless you.

MR SCHNEEBLY Augghhh, what do they teach in this place? OK- new schedule. First Period, Rock History. Second Period, Rock Appreciation and Theory. Band practice periods 3, 4 and 5.

LAWRENCE Looks nervous What about maths?

MR SCHNEEBLY Not important. Ozzy Osbourne doesn’t do maths!

SUMMER Wailing and very distressed But what about our exams?

MR SCHNEEBLY Look guys! We’ve gotta focus here. We need a name for our band!

School of Rock

KATIE Sassy How about #SquadGoals?

MR SCHNEEBLY Pause I wish I could unhear that.

LAWRENCE The Animals?

MR SCHNEEBLY It’s been done.

FREDDY Excited Psycho-Killer-Blood-Destroyers?

MR SCHNEEBLY Freddy. We need to talk.

MARCIE We think we have it, Mr. Schneebly... ‘The School of Rock’.

Pupils and Mr. Schneebly all agree and look excited

BILLY To audience That’s tacky, and I hate it.

School of Rock

Scene 2 ADVANCED CLASSES ONLY

Three parent-child tableaus stage left, stage right and centre stage. Remain frozen until it’s time to deliver their pair’s lines. All other performers offstage. Tableau One

MR HAMILTON Where’s your homework, Freddy? I don’t believe it. More music? Why, when I was your age, we had 12 sheets of homework to complete every night, and we were sent outside to chop wood as a treat when we finished! Jeez. Freddy, if I had your life...

FREDDY OK, Dad. I get the message.

MR HAMILTON No, you don’t. I’m paying for a private school and funding your University education so that you can have any career you choose.

FREDDY Any career that I choose, or any that you choose?

Tableau Two

MRS SANDFORD What are you reading, son?

BILLY Uhh...ummm...The Rugby News?

Mrs. Sandford grabs the magazine and finds a copy of Vogue hidden

School of Rock underneath

MRS SANDFORD Vogue? A fashion magazine?!

BILLY THE fashion magazine! ...I’m going to my room.

MRS SANDFORD No you are not! You’re staying right here and watching the game!

BILLY Do I have to? MRS SANDFORD Yes! You’re my son! You’re a Sandford! Your granddad played football, your Pa played football and you’re gonna play football, too. It’s a legacy, Billy. Now sit down.

Tableau Three

MRS MOONEYHAM On the phone Look, I’m not asking anymore, just get it done.

BLONDIE Hey, Mum. You won’t believe the day we had! I played in a ba –

MRS MOONEYHAM Marta- what do we remember when Mummy’s on the phone?

BLONDIE You’re working.

School of Rock

MRS MOONEYHAM I’m working. Hey, Jim? I want ten thousand shares in Northbrook Chemicals. Never mind why. I know what I know. Just do it.

School of Rock

Scene 3

Class backstage (without Mr. Schneebly) preparing for the rock competition.

SUMMER All right! Everybody hurry up and take your positions for warm-up. Mr. Schneebly’s in the audience, so I’m in charge!

FREDDY Says who?

SUMMER Aggressive Says me. The Band Manager! Get it?

FRANKIE Flustered Yes sir! I mean ma'am- I mean Summer. Sir.

SUMMER No distractions. This band counts for extra-curriculum points on our school record! So...it’s time to go Hardcore.

Summer now strides through the room, clipboard in hand.

SUMMER Has the microphone been tested?

KATIE Check.

School of Rock SUMMER What about the stand?

KATIE Check.

SUMMER I’m counting on you, Blondie– don’t mess up the fog machine.

BLONDIE Duh.

SUMMER Who’s got the speaker cable?

MARCIE All ordered and ready to go!

SUMMER Did you put it on your mum’s card?

MARCIE Obviously.

Marcie and Blondie leave the stage to get into Billy’s costumes

SUMMER To Katie What about the song list? Printed like I said?

KATIE Umm...

School of Rock SUMMER If you’ve bought the wrong list I swear- Takes a deep breath to calm herself before turning to Zack Zack, make sure you remember the lights Point to both Katie and Zack ...or I’m breaking both your necks.

KATIE Gulps Uhh...ok. Shoves Zack aggressively to go and check the lights Marcie and Blondie return in their new, flamobyant costumes

MARCIE Billy, what’s with these costumes?!

BILLY Uhh, yeah! I was thinking a punk-glam kind of thing...

All look disgusted at their outfits

BILLY Fine- we’ll ditch the sequins!

SUMMER Too late now!

VOICEOVER Offstage Voice And now welcoming to the stage, THE SCHOOL OF ROCK!

All take a nervous breath to compose themselves before running energetically into their dance positions