Rossetti Intentional Celibate Sexuality.Pptx

Intentional Celibate Sexuality in a Joyful Gospel Ministry

Msgr. Stephen J. Rossetti December 8, 2015 St. Meinrad Archabbey and Saint Luke Institute

"You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father. Matthew 5:13-17

Celibacy: a special, “heroic” calling?

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 1 Landslide Shift in Support for Celibacy • 81.4% of priests ordained 1-9 years agree or strongly agree with mandatory celibacy whereas for priests ordained 30-39 years, this number drops sharply to 37.9%. This is a seismic change.

Priestly Generations and View of Celibacy

Annual Count of Incidents Reported and Priests Accused by Year

THIS SLIDE MADE BY JOHN JAY UNIVERSITY PRESENTED AT 2006 ATSA CONFERENCE

Priests ordained 0-10 years = 20.5% Priests ordained 31-40 years = 37.7%

Why is there a spike in sexual abuse

cases in the late 1970’s-1980’s?

*7.58% of priests ordained 0-10 years were abused: 10.37% of priests ordained 41-50 years were abused.

*20.5% of priests ordained 0-10 years agreed/strongly agreed they had sexual problems growing up; 37.7% of priests ordained 31-40 years agreed/strongly agreed.

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 3 Conclusion A critical contribution to screening for priesthood and religious life today is screening directly for the presence of psychosexual problems. We are doing this and it is working!

Perhaps the greatest danger in living a celibate life today is narcissism.

Narcissism and Isolation Increasing in our Culture?

– Sherry Turkle

“When the Church does not come out of herself to evangelize, she becomes self-referential and then gets sick. The evils that, over time, happen in ecclesial institutions have their root in self- referentiality and a kind of theological narcissism.” – Pope Francis, speech in Conclave

Characteristics of Clerical/ Religious Narcissism 1. Believes self is uniquely able to discern God’s will and judge other people’s behavior 2. Lacks empathy and compassion for others; does not really listen to others 3. Does not take criticism well; does not dialogue well 4. Does not work well as a team member 5. Believes one is spiritually above others and deserves special recognition.

“It is the disease … of those who turn into lords and masters, and think of themselves as above others and not at their service. It is often an effect of the pathology of power, from a superiority complex, from a narcissism which passionately gazes at its own image and does not see the image of God on the face of others, especially the weakest and those most in need.” – Pope Francis, Christmas Message to the Curia, 2014

Using Our Gifts in Service to Others!

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2332. Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person. 2333. Everyone…should acknowledge and accept his sexuality. 1769. The Holy Spirit accomplishes his work by mobilizing the whole being. 1770. Moral perfection consists in man’s being moved to the good not by his will alone, but also by his sensitive appetite.

Goals for Sexual Integration

• Know one’s sexuality

• Accept one’s sexuality

• Express it chastely and…

• Married people have to be “celibate” with all others

• All people must harness and engage one’s passions in the world

• The challenge of chaste living in a “sexually addicted society”

Passion in If our sexual passions ministry, are harnessed and energetic life, used well….. and strong relationships

If sexual energy is Lifeless, repressed….. passionless, isolation

If sexual energy is Addiction, obsessed….. manipulation

Learning not to be afraid of our (or others) passions, e.g. anger, sexuality.

• Solid peer relationships

• Passionate living

• Flexible, clear boundaries

• Empathy

Signs of Sexual Arrest

• Isolation • Lack of peer relationships • Emotionally immature behavior • Excessive intellectualization/rationalization • Personally controlling • Strong rigidity and/or judgmentalism • Addictive kinds of behaviors

“His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God.”

Letter from Carl Jung to co-founder of AA, Bill Wilson

One Theory:

Sexual perversions are eroticized hatred.

Robert Stoller MD Perversion: The Erotic Form of Hatred, 1975

Myth

Celibacy stunts one’s sexuality and personal growth and makes one susceptible to sexual pathology.

Myth: People are more likely to masturbate if they don’t have a sexual partner.

Truth: Those who masturbate the most have the most sex. Robert T. Michael et al., Sex in America, 1994

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 10 Masturbation thought to be a “substitute- outlet” for those without a sexual partner is apparently incorrect. “Our conclusion…is that masturbation is not a substitute for those who are sexually deprived, but rather it is an activity that stimulates and is stimulated by other sexual behavior.” (p. 165) from Sex In America study published in 1994, n= 3,432

Masturbation Reasons • Exploring One’s Body • Sexual Curiosity • Sexual Gratification/Release • Manage Anxiety • Avoid Distressing Sexuality • Maintain Isolation • Punishing Self

Moral Problem? Clinical Problem Too?

• Identify triggers • Depressive symptoms? • Anxiety symptoms? • Map relational life • Comfort level with own sexuality • How does the individual soothe self? • Identify and correct any cognitive distortions • Develop functional way of dealing with dysphoria and personal conflicts

Masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action…To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. (CC2352)

Pastoral Response

• Don’t over-react • Realize goal to live chastely can be achieved • What does the behavior mean? • Help individual respond to triggers in healthier manner • Engage in long-term process of change

Gender Dysphoria

Beware the reductionist fallacy. CDF, 1986, #16

Homosexuality in Society

Sex in America: 1994 survey of 3,500 Americans 1. homosexual attraction: males 6%, females 4% 2. homosexual behavior in adulthood: males 5%, past year less than 2% of females & 2% of men 3. homosexual self-identified: males 2.8%, females 1.4%

• What is your sexual orientation? • How do you know that?

• When did you first become aware of your sexual orientation? • What was that experience like?

Church Teaching on Homosexuality

• “Respect, compassion and sensitivity (CC2358:CDF 986,#10) • “Unjust discrimination” rejected (CC 2358,CDF, 1986,#10) • “Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained.” (CC, 2358) • “Transitory” versus “Definitive” homosexuality (CDF, 1986,#17) • This inclination is objectively disordered (CC 2358; CDF, 1986, #3) • “Under no circumstances can (homosexual acts) be approved.” (CC 2357;CDF,1986, #3; CDF, 1975, #8)

The Francis Effect

• “…morale disorder is all too common in our world. There are a variety of acts, such as adultery, fornication, masturbation, and contraception, that violate the proper ends of human sexuality…” • “Of course, heterosexual persons not uncommonly have disordered sexual inclinations as well….” • “It is crucially important to understand that saying a person has a particular inclination that is disordered is not to say that the person as a whole is disordered…” USCCB Nov 2006

2005 Vatican Instruction

Cannot accept those candidates: • who “practice” homosexuality • with “deep-seated homosexual tendencies” • who “support the so-called gay culture”

Differing Interpretations of Vatican Instruction *Bishop Skylstad, President USCCB: “deep-seated homosexual tendencies” means “principally defined by” or whose “primary identification” is their sexual orientation. “…his entire life…must be animated by a gift of his whole person to the church and by an authentic pastoral charity”….”even though he might have a homosexual orientation, then he can minister and he can minister celibately and chastely.” *Bishop D’Arcy, Fort Wayne-South Bend: “I would say yes, absolutely, it does bar anyone whose sexual orientation is towards one’s own sex and it’s permanent.”

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 15 Different Church organizations have different stances on accepting “homosexual” candidates, which affects the climate of professional screening and formation.

APA’s Monitor on Psychology article in Feb 2002 issue: Found higher rates of depression, alcohol disorders, and use of mental health services by homosexual persons.

Differences Between Matched Heterosexual and Non-Heterosexual College Students on Defense Mechanisms and Psychopathological Symptoms, Biernbaum & Ruscio, Journal of Homosexuality, Vol. 48(1) 2004, p. 127 Over the last decade especially, an increasing number of empirical reports have indicated that sexual minority youth are indeed at increased risk for multiple forms of psychopathology. Non- heterosexual youth have demonstrated significantly higher levels of depression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, conduct disorder and psychiatric comorbidity, when compared to heterosexual youth.

Dr. Martin P. Kafka, Harvard Medical School:

"We described it as a risk factor…. A risk factor is not a cause…The great predominance of homosexual males are in no way sexual abusers ... There is, however, a subgroup at risk.” NCR April 18, 2003, John Allen

If you accept “homosexual” candidates then….

• Implement following minimum criteria: – No extensive previous acting out – No past deviant behavior – Chaste living for at least 3-5 years prior – Commitment to Church teachings on Sexuality – Personal Commitment to Celibacy – Internal Conflicts largely resolved

Homosexuality & Formation • “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy

• Need to be honest at least in internal forum

• Two poles: – No difference (inclusive policy) – Reject all (exclusive policy)

• Vatican document is “in medio”

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 17 A key starting point in this discussion will be to distinguish between different kinds of homosexualities and heterosexualities.

Raise the Bar!

Integrity and the Crisis The Crisis in the Church might be viewed as a call to today’s priests to live their vocations with a positive integrity. This message needs to be reinforced by our brother priests, formators and our leaders.

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 18 What is a “rigid” seminarian? *No dialogue *Inability to listen *Inability to learn and change *Likely internally frail *Judgmental and angry

Rigidity is NOT strong adherence to Church teaching but rather a psychological compensation for an internal frailty and sometimes an inability to comes to terms with one’s own weakness and sinfulness, also, perhaps one’s sexuality.

Sexuality Screening in Formation

• Traditional Psych Testing Ineffective

• Psychosexual History – Screen out clear problems – Identify sexual issues for formation – “Taking A Sexual History” Gerald Coleman* Human Development magazine, Spring 1996 *(add section on use of internet porn)

Psychosexual History

• Safe, confidential setting with experienced professional • Written report reviewed with client • Limited access to results • Client’s development at each stage of life • Look for achievement of milestones & deficiencies

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 19 Sexual Development Across the Lifespan • Family of Origin Sexual Attitudes • Pre-pubescent Sexual Development • Sexual Abuse History • Puberty and Adolescence • Sexual Orientation • Dating & Adult Sexual History • Paraphilias & Other Problematic Behaviors • Current Management of Sexuality

Beware of extremes….

A Joyful Celibate Life

Copyright Saint Luke Institute 20 What is perhaps unique to celibacy is a necessary and explicit focus on the spiritual rationale for its being.

Predictors of Priestly/Religious Happiness n=2,482 • Sense of Inner Peace (r= .59) • Relationship to God (r= .53) • Positive View of Celibacy (r= .47) • Lonely & Unappreciated (r= -.46) • Relationship to Bishop (r= .38) • Anger Problems (r= -.38) • Dysfunctional Childhood (r= -.37) • Obedience to Authority (r= .36) • Close Friends (r= .35) • Priests Mutual Support (r= .29) • Difficulty Feeling Forgiven (r= -.28) • Devotion to Mary (r= .27) (adj r² approx .49)

What Makes a Happy Priest/Religious?

#1 Inner Peace #2 Relationship to God

#3 View of Celibacy *Composed of two items: “Despite its challenges, celibacy has been a grace for me personally” “I believe that God has called me to live a celibate life.”

% agree % disagree

I believe God has called me to 77.8 8.2 live a celibate life.

Despite its challenges, celibacy has 75.1 11.8 been a grace for me personally.

(Percentages do not add up to 100; middle category “neutral” is not listed.)

At its core, celibacy is a spiritual reality and can only be fully understood and lived in the realm of the spirit.

Conclusion A critical contribution to a celibate’s formation and spiritual life is to come to a personal belief that God has called one to live a celibate life and that s/he eventually find that celibacy has been a personal grace.

Celibacy is a “yes” to our humanity and a “yes” to the powerful presence of God in our lives. It is a positive, passionate life of relating and loving.

+ A radiant joy that springs from the heart of the person is the best sign of a fully integrated, alive Christian.