Harmony, Dissonance, Or Harm? the Psychological and Spiritual

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Harmony, Dissonance, Or Harm? the Psychological and Spiritual University of Massachusetts Boston ScholarWorks at UMass Boston Graduate Doctoral Dissertations Doctoral Dissertations and Masters Theses 8-31-2018 Harmony, Dissonance, or Harm? The Psychological and Spiritual Promises and Perils of Gay Christian Celibacy Darren Jay Freeman-Coppadge University of Massachusetts Boston Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.umb.edu/doctoral_dissertations Part of the Counseling Psychology Commons, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Studies Commons, and the Religion Commons Recommended Citation Freeman-Coppadge, Darren Jay, "Harmony, Dissonance, or Harm? The sP ychological and Spiritual Promises and Perils of Gay Christian Celibacy" (2018). Graduate Doctoral Dissertations. 354. https://scholarworks.umb.edu/doctoral_dissertations/354 This Open Access Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Doctoral Dissertations and Masters Theses at ScholarWorks at UMass Boston. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate Doctoral Dissertations by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks at UMass Boston. For more information, please contact [email protected]. HARMONY, DISSONANCE, OR HARM? THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL PROMISES AND PERILS OF GAY CHRISTIAN CELIBACY A Dissertation Presented by DARREN JAY FREEMAN-COPPADGE Submitted to the Office of Graduate Studies, University of Massachusetts Boston, in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY August 2018 Counseling and School Psychology Ph.D. Program © 2017 by Darren Jay Freeman-Coppadge All rights reserved HARMONY, DISSONANCE, OR HARM? THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL PROMISES AND PERILS OF GAY CHRISTIAN CELIBACY A Dissertation Presented by DARREN JAY FREEMAN-COPPADGE Approved as to style and content by: ________________________________________________ Sharon G. Horne, Professor Chairperson of Committee ________________________________________________ Sharon Lamb, Professor Member ________________________________________________ Heidi M. Levitt, Professor Member _________________________________________ Sharon G. Horne, Program Director Counseling Psychology Program _________________________________________ Takuya Minami, Chairperson Department of Counseling and School Psychology ABSTRACT HARMONY, DISSONANCE, OR HARM? THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL PROMISES AND PERILS OF GAY CHRISTIAN CELIBACY August 2018 Darren Jay Freeman-Coppadge, B.S., University of Maryland College Park Pharm.D., University of Maryland Baltimore Ph.D., University of Massachusetts Boston Directed by Professor Sharon G. Horne Identity conflicts between sexuality and spirituality faced by religious lesbian and gay people have been described in literature, along with various methods to resolve such conflicts, including sexual orientation change efforts and identity integration. But a dearth of literature exists regarding celibacy as a means of resolving identity conflict. This study employed grounded theory to investigate the psychological and spiritual well- being of 12 current and former gay Christian celibates (GCCs). Results revealed how celibacy could harmonize sexuality and Christian spirituality, benefiting some celibates by providing them peace, satisfaction, and spiritual vibrancy. However, for many others, celibacy instigated dissonance between their beliefs and their sexual desires and iv behaviors, leading to substantial challenges and harms that negatively affected their well- being. Participants, especially ex-celibate participants, described psychological, emotional, social, sexual, and spiritual harms. Implications for mental health practitioners working with clients struggling with conflicts between sexual and spiritual identities are discussed. v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS There is no way that this dissertation would have ever been completed on my own steam and effort. So many people deserve credit for this work. God’s greatest blessing to me has been my husband, my rock, Jonathan. Your love, strength, unconditional support, incredible understanding, and extraordinary willingness to change diapers while I toiled away night after night, year after year, has meant the world to me. Your many sacrifices to help me get to this place are incomprehensible to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My dear son, Langston, you worked so hard to make sure this dissertation was completed on your timing and not my own. You are far too adorable for words. Your beautiful eyes and effervescent smile bring me so much joy. You gave me a reason to keep going. I could not have been blessed with more perfect parents. Your unrelenting support and unconditional love for me, no matter how crazy my schemes were, have taught me so much about acceptance and togetherness. I consider this dissertation to be as much your legacy as mine. My amazing, diverse, brilliant, beautiful cohort family. Elena, Kathryn, Tangela, and Victoria, you have taught me so much, and made me a better person. Pieces of each of you are littered throughout this report. Thank you for being you. Finally, my dedicated and supportive committee, Sharon L., Heidi, and especially Sharon H., who has advocated for me since the day we met. Thank you for seeing this through with me and for your enormous contributions throughout this process. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ............................................................................. vi LIST OF TABLES ......................................................................................... ix CHAPTER Page 1. INTRODUCTION ......................................................................... 1 LGBTQ Mental Health and Discrimination .......................... 5 Managing Sexual and Spiritual Identity Conflict .................. 8 Gay Celibacy .......................................................................... 14 Current Study ......................................................................... 18 2. LITERATURE REVIEW .............................................................. 23 Conflict Between Sexual and Spiritual Identities .................. 25 Integrating Sexual and Spiritual Identities ............................. 31 Prioritizing Sexual Identity .................................................... 35 Prioritizing Spiritual Identity ................................................. 36 Gay Celibacy: A Healthy Middle Ground? ........................... 47 Summary ................................................................................ 59 3. METHOD ...................................................................................... 62 Participants ............................................................................. 62 Design .................................................................................... 65 Quantitative Data ................................................................... 70 Procedure ............................................................................... 78 Data Analysis ......................................................................... 81 4. RESULTS ...................................................................................... 90 Cluster 1: GCCs Are Inspired to Celibacy Through Conviction and Desire for Congruency With Religious Beliefs, But Can Also Be Heavily Influenced by Internalized Homonegative Beliefs .......... 91 Cluster 2: Celibacy Can Offer GCCs a Rewarding Sense of Freedom and Congruence, Especially Through the Development of Spiritual Vibrancy That Orients Them Toward Service ................................................................ 100 vii Cluster 3: Vital Community Support Is Often Elusive Because Rejection From Heterosexist Religion and LGBTQ Community Requires GCCs to Seek GCC-Specific Relationships That Can Be Complicated by Sexual Desire .............................................................. 106 Cluster 4: Avoiding Dissonance Related to Identify Conflict Requires GCCs to Curb Sexual Desires and Relationships, Which Can Be Exhausting and Lead to Unhealthy or Risky Sexuality .......................................... 117 Cluster 5: GCC Can Be Satisfying and Fulfilling, but Those Pursuing It May Face Significant Psychosocial and Spiritual Challenges and Harms That May Require Mental Health Support Services ...................................... 127 Core Category: GCC Offers Harmony Between Christian Beliefs and Sexuality, but, Paradoxically, Religious Expectations Can Provoke Intolerable Dissonance Because of Exhausting and Harmful Attempts to Subdue Sexual Desire ................................................................... 140 5. DISCUSSION ................................................................................ 148 Benefits, Challenges, and Harms of Gay Christian Celibacy ............................................................................ 149 Church Failures in Clerical and Non-Clerical Celibacy ........ 158 Beyond Gay Christian Celibacy: Freedom in Affirmation .... 163 Limitations and Strengths ...................................................... 170 Conclusion: Gay Christian Celibacy as an Individual, Varied Experience ............................................................ 176 APPENDIX Page A. ASEXUAL IDENTIFICATION SCALE ..................................... 181 B. CENTER FOR EPIDEMIOLOGICAL STUDIES— DEPRESSION—SHORT FORM .......................................... 182 C. SATISFACTION WITH LIFE SCALE ........................................ 183 D. UCLA LONELINESS SCALE—VERSION 3............................. 184 E. SEXUAL IDENTITY DISTRESS
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