Chastity and Modesty Shun Immorality

Chastity and Modesty Shun immorality. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. ~ 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

E LIVE Has the over- in a cul- throw of sexual mo- t u r e rality made us hap- W that is pier? There is a saturated by sexu- tremendous amount ality. It is inescap- of evidence that it able: sexually-ex- has created a human plicit advertising, landscape of misery, movies, television, betrayal, bitterness, music, clothing, and anger, and blight- educational mate- ed expectations. rials, even for the Spouses can no lon- very young. Not ger count on each only are we assault- other “for better or ed with sexually- for worse” if their

charged images and JUPITERIMAGES approach to mar- thoughts, but our riage is “if it doesn’t ways of deciding moral right and wrong are now work out, I’ll get a divorce.” Children can no longer conditioned by “values” such as “if it feels right, do expect to be raised in a home with two parents, and it,” “no one can legislate what goes on between two considerable effort has been made by shapers of our consenting adults,” “you need to overcome your in- culture to make it seem as though a single-parent hibitions,” and the like. Virtues such as chastity, household is “just as good,” as though all forms of modesty, fidelity, self-control, and self-mastery are family life are equally beneficial. Children are sup- scorned and ridiculed, as are the people who prac- posedly able to “adjust” to the destruction of their ex- tice them. We are surrounded by “those who call evil pectations of a happy home and childhood, because good and good evil” (Is 5:20). their parents are elsewhere seeking a “soul mate.” Adolescents make their way through a minefield The promiscuity that is so praised as “healthy” has of cultural messages suggesting that they initiate sex- led to rates of sexually-transmitted diseases never be- ual activity as soon as possible and seek out as many fore seen in human societies. Many women who had sexual partners as possible. Men are taught that hoped to bear children discover that they have been women “want it” just as much as men do, and so it is sterilized by disease; both men and women discover perfectly all right to engage in promiscuity and pred- that they have incurable infections; and all too many atory sex. Women are taught that they should desire discover that they will die prematurely. The “sexual multiple sexual partners and that there is “something revolution” has led to a culture that promotes “safe wrong” with their yearning for steadfast love. Ev- sex” but curls its lip at sexual abstinence. Abortion eryone is told that is not only sanc- sex is “natural” “The overthrow of sexual morality has tioned but even and that self-grat- encouraged as a ification and even created a human landscape of misery, “lifestyle choice.” self-pleasuring is Is this how to be commended betrayal, bitterness, anger, and things are sup- and encouraged. blighted expectations.” posed to be? Is

The Association for Catechumenal Ministry (ACM) grants the original purchaser (parish, local parochial institution, or individual) permission to reproduce this handout. this the way God intended us unity of man in his bodily and to live? Or is the “freedom” “The virtues of chastity spiritual being” (CCC 2337). we think we have just another and modesty are protective We subdue the war within our “big lie” from Satan, “a mur- nature and strive to attain the derer from the beginning [who] walls to guard us against original unity that characterized has nothing to do with the truth, our own fallen nature.” Adam and Eve’s life before their because there is no truth in him. terrible sin. When he lies, he speaks according We instinctively understand to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (Jn that the reproductive activity of animals is utterly 8:44)? different from our own. Animal sexuality is in nearly We are engaged in a constant battle with evil, a all cases entirely unconscious, and even “higher ani- battle that began in the Garden of Eden when our mals” in almost all cases seem to place no value on first parents succumbed to the seductions of Satan sexual expression other than reproduction. This is (see Gn 3:1-6). Original sin has left us with a dark- not so for humans, for the expression of our sexual- ened intellect, a weakened will, and disordered de- ity involves other persons, not merely other members sires (see handouts on Original Sin and Tempta- of the same species. Every human being is a “some- tion). Yet God has not forsaken us. Within our one,” not a “something.” hearts he has placed the natural law and a hunger A person who engages in sexual relations for his for him. He has revealed his law to us, and came or her own selfish pleasure is thus treating another as himself to redeem and sanctify us. He has given us a “thing” to be used, an instrument with no claim to the sacraments as our channels of grace, his very life respect for his or her inherent human dignity. Chas- to strengthen us in our battle against our own way- tity teaches us how to hold all of our self in the palm ward nature. And he has given us the Church to not of our hands, ready to give as a gift to our beloved — only dispense the sacraments but also to teach us the expecting nothing less than the same in return. The “paths of righteousness” (Ps 23:3), to help us on “the way love that we offer is the gift of ourselves for the oth- [that] is hard, that leads to life” (Mt 7:14), and to lead er’s good, rather than seeking our own gratifica- us to the narrow gate of Heaven (see Mt 7:14). The tion. The expression of our sexuality is truly hu- virtues of chastity and modesty are protective walls man, therefore, only “when it is integrated into the to guard us against our own relationship of one person to fallen nature. another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man Chastity and a woman” (CCC 2337). The virtue of chastity is Chastity is attained by an expression of the virtue of seeking to master our disor- temperance, the virtue that dered desires that seem to so reins in our passions and ap- insistently seek even fleeting petites. Yet chastity is not pleasure. Self-mastery, like a negative, bloodless virtue any other virtue, is attained that seeks to drain joy from through effort on a daily ba- our lives. God’s gift of sex- sis throughout a lifetime. uality is one of our greatest Childhood and adolescence treasures. Mastering and are periods of especially in- controlling it is as much a tense efforts at self-mastery, challenge, an adventure, and since habits of virtue are not a reward as mastering a wild yet fully established and, dur- horse so as to ride like the ing adolescence, the tempta- wind in complete union of tions of an awakening sexu- human and animal. al maturity are exceptionally In this respect, then, chas- strong. Especially valuable tity is “the successful integra- A patron of youth and of the Gospel call to joyful chastity ways to achieve self-mastery tion of sexuality within the in the modern world: Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, by include a knowledge of one’s person and thus the inner Lisa E. Brown self, the practice of self-de-

Chastity and Modesty — Page 2 nial (in areas that do not in- roic virtue. clude only sexual self-deni- For those intending mar- al), avoidance of all kinds of riage, chastity is an expres- sin, development of other vir- sion of honor toward the one, tues as well as chastity, and a perhaps not even yet known, commitment to prayer. We who will be a lifelong part- must always recognize our ner. Even when engaged, helplessness to “go it alone”; the couple must not engage God’s grace is essential to in sexual expression or ac- achieve self-mastery. There tions. The period leading up will always be setbacks, and to marriage is, instead, a time we will find self-mastery of “discovery of mutual re- more difficult at some times spect, an apprenticeship in fi- than others. Yet the effort delity, and the hope of receiv- to develop chastity especially ing one another from God” strengthens us in the practice (CCC 2350). Reserving the of virtue, and it is self-mas- expression of sexuality until tery that makes it possible for marriage allows the engaged us to give of ourselves in holy couple to determine wheth- charity. er their desire to share their We should not mistake the lives is founded on sexual at- self-mastery of chastity as traction alone or on a genuine “following a bunch of rules” love of each other that can be that will prevent us from “We will either govern the foundation of a lifetime of “having fun.” To work to self-giving. master one’s disordered self our passions, and achieve Marital sex, too, is chaste. is “a training in human free- Marriage is hardly the time dom” (CCC 2339). If we are happiness, or be governed by when self-mastery can be for- not free to choose the good, them, and be miserable.” gotten. If the marital part- we are truly acting only from ners see marriage as a time “animal instinct.” It cannot be said too strongly that for unbridled sex, they are seeing marriage as a li- we will either govern our passions, and achieve hap- cense for self-gratification. Does this mean that mar- piness, or be governed by them, and be miserable. ried couples cannot enjoy sex? No. In fact, a hus- Sex without real love is a fleeting thing, and the en- band and wife who give themselves completely to ticements of false sexual “freedom” are an enslave- each other in every aspect of their lives, including ment to the blind impulses of pleasure-seeking that the expression of their love in sexual union, find that destroys our human dignity and never offers joy. God they experience gratitude to their Creator for this created us for happiness and joy, not gratification most wonderful gift, and great joy and pleasure in however momentarily pleasurable it might be, and the gift. Marriage is the closest any human relation- our happiness and joy comes only from fulfilling the ship comes to imaging the love of God for his people, deepest yearning of our hearts. of Jesus the Bridegroom and his Bride, the Church (see Eph 5:31-32). It is for this reason that complete, Chastity as It is Lived Out in Each Life lifelong fidelity is an essential element of marriage. Every person is called to chastity, but the way The use of contraception in marriage, because it the virtue is exercised differs according to our state violates the complete gift of self, is immensely de- in life. Those who are unmarried, including those structive of the human dignity of the partners. When who have taken vows consecrating their lives to God married love precludes an openness to new life, when (priests and members of religious orders) and those it refuses the procreative element of the sexual act, who are no longer married, must entirely refrain it degenerates to sex for pleasure alone, and too of- from sexual expression. This has not been an easy ten leads to self-seeking sexual gratification by one achievement in any age, but the culture in which we or both partners, one using the other or both using live today makes living a chaste life an exercise of he- each other. The use of contraception, therefore, is

Chastity and Modesty — Page 3 inherently threatening to the “The loss of modesty ternatives that show respect marriage itself and is gravely for persons and eternal moral sinful (see handout on Mar- in our culture has truths. Chastity for ourselves riage, Sexuality, and Contra- actually degraded sexual and for our children must be ception). actively pursued. Especially in our culture, attractiveness.” the chaste person becomes “a Modesty witness to his neighbor of God’s fidelity and loving Just as chastity is viewed in our culture as “un- kindness” (CCC 2346). Chastity protects and en- natural” or “repressed,” modesty has been completely hances friendship, so that our relationships with each devalued. In its place we have been told, “if you’ve other can be more than merely physical; they can be got it, flaunt it” and to “get used to it.” The impulse to a genuine spiritual communion. Our Lord told us: modesty is treated as an indication of immaturity or “I have called you friends” (Jn 15:15), for whom he laid psychological imbalance, while the “healthy” person down his own life (see Jn 15:13). Communion with supposedly experiences no shame in sexual display. God is friendship with our Creator such as Moses Yet the universal impulse to modesty exists; it is experienced: “Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face God’s gift to us to shelter and nurture chastity. Mod- to face, as a man speaks to his friend” (Ex 33:11). Chas- esty is an emphatic form of both self-respect and re- tity is thus “a promise of immortality” (CCC 2347). spect for the dignity of others, for it protects and Finally, we must pursue chastity not only as a per- veils the part of our personhood that should be re- sonal but also as a civic virtue. Chastity by its nature vealed only to those with whom one is most intimate. respects the dignity and rights of the person, includ- Therefore modesty is more than a physical covering ing the “moral and spiritual dimensions of human of the body; it is, as well, an attitude of reserve and life” (CCC 2344). For this reason, parents have a respect that enhances the personhood of everyone right and a duty to protect their children from sex- by protecting “the mystery of persons and their love” education programs that promote values contrary to (CCC 2522) in the very core of their being. Modesty Christian morality or provide information that they is, therefore, not defined by what one bares or what do not wish their children to have. Parents have a one covers up, but of how this occurs in the con- grave obligation to ensure that their children are not text of each individual culture. Modesty begins in exposed to sexually-explicit entertainment. And all the heart and mind and influences choices of appar- of us have an obligation to avoid anything that de- el and behavior. The modest person does not seek grades the human dignity of anyone, and to inform to display his or her “wares,” but seeks instead not the purveyors of sexually-oriented entertainment or to draw attention. The mod- advertising of our intentions to seek out, instead, al- est person reserves himself JUPITERIMAGES

Chastity and Modesty — Page 4 or herself as a gift for the one other to whom, even- tually, the entire gift of self in marriage will be made (including, when the vocation is to the priesthood or religious life, a gift of a chaste self entirely to the ser- vice of God). Modesty governs not only what a person shields from view but also what another seeks to see, and in that sense modesty is both withholding display and avoiding intrusiveness. Modest apparel and behav- ior reduce sexual temptation and the inappropriate arousal of sexual desire in others; it is the first line of defense against unwanted sexual advances. Our disordered desires and our weakened wills need the protection from heightened arousal that modesty provides. There are passages in St. Paul’s letters that, to the first-time reader, seem to be examples of male repres- siveness of women (see, for example, 1 Tm 2:9). The First Letter of Peter expresses what appears to be the same sentiment (see 1 Pt 3:1-6). And yet these apostles expressed great wisdom. In the pagan soci- ety that they were evangelizing, the Christian witness of modesty had great power. Not only was a display of wealth unseemly, but it also conflicted with striv- 2523). St. Paul teaches us: “Do not be conformed to this ing for the true adornments of the Christian: “good world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that deeds” (1 Tm 2:10), “reverent and chaste behavior” (1 Pt you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and ac- 3:2), “the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit” ceptable and perfect” (Rom 12:2). Chastity and mod- (1 Pt 3:4), so “that the word of God may not be discredit- esty, therefore, lead to purity of heart. ed” (Ti 2:5). St. Peter and St. Paul’s admonishments Jesus gives us this wonderful assurance: “Blessed were particularly directed at women because the cul- are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Mt 5:8). ture seeks especially to destroy their natural modes- Those who are pure of heart “have attuned their in- ty; women far more often than men are the objects tellects and wills to the demands of God’s holiness, of lust. For this reason, “[t]eaching modesty to chil- chiefly in three areas: charity1; chastity or sexual dren and adolescents means awakening in them re- rectitude2; love of truth and orthodoxy of faith”3 spect for the human person” (CCC 2524). (CCC 2518). Chastity enhances charity by teaching As has been remarked by many people, the loss of us to love “with upright and undivided heart” (CCC modesty in our culture has actually degraded sexual 2520). We strive ever to discipline our passions and attractiveness. Because of its shielding of mystery, our thoughts, our feelings and our imaginations — modesty heightens attractiveness, and even between all of which might cause us to turn away from holi- husband and wife, a “modest wife adds charm to charm” ness. We view our own body, and the bodies of oth- (Sir 26:15). The cultivation of modesty is the culti- ers, not as objects of pleasure but, instead, as temples vation of an opportunity for greater, not less, enjoy- of the Holy Spirit (see 1 Cor 6:19). We seek to love ment of God’s great gift of sex within the rightful God with “a pure heart and a good conscience and sincere boundaries of marriage. faith” (1 Tm 1:5). Jesus is our model of purity, and The modest person who encourages others to be “every one who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is modest is building up a society in which the dignity pure” (1 Jn 3:3), so that we may be “betrothed … to of everyone is respected. An attitude of modesty is Christ to [be presented] as a pure bride to her one husband” also an attitude that resists “the allurements of fash- (2 Cor 11:2) by the grace of the Holy Spirit. ion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies” (CCC (CCC 1632, 2337-2350, 2362, 2365, 2518-2526)

1 Cf. 1Tm 4:3-9; 2 Timothy 2:22 2 Cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:7; Colossians 3:5; Ephesians 4:19 3 Cf. Titus 1:15; 1Timothy 1:3-4; 2 Timothy 2:23-36

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