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Home , Chevy Chase, John Landis, Three Amigos

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EMPIRE PRESENTS ¡AMIGOS REUNITED! After 25 years, the Three Amigos are still riding high. Empire brings together the makers of the cult comedy — stars , , and director — to talk horse-play, salutes and warbling greenery…

Words: Nick ‘Nick “Little Nicky” Nickerlander’ de Semlyen Portraits: Austin Hargrave

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“Wherever there ¡GUíA DE LA Chapter 5, 00:35:12 VISION! DID YOU KNOW? , who plays is injustice, you baddie El Guapo, starred in a 1970 Spanish will find us.” Relive the sweet, simple called Tres Amigos. El Guapo, by the “Wherever there magic of ¡Three Amigos! way, is Spanish for ‘The Handsome One’. with our sharp-shooting is suffering, we’ll viewing guide be there.” “Wherever liberty is threatened, Chapter 6, 00:37:16 you will find…” LUDICROUS WESTERN MOMENT! Steve “THE THREE Martin demos rope tricks he learned working at a magic shop as a teenager. AMIGOS!” Chapter 1, 00:00:01 SONG! Dusty, Ned and Lucky are Chapter 6, 00:38:10 introduced on horseback, singing The SILLINESS! “We could take a walk and you hevy Chase is wiggling his hips and Ballad Of The Three Amigos. They hold could kiss me on the veranda,” a señorita furrowing his brow. Steve Martin that high note for a whopping 14 seconds. tells Dusty. “Lips would be fine,” he replies. is crossing his arms uncertainly. eña (1) Martin Short is thrusting his pelvis p Chapter 1, 00:05:55 Chapter 7, 00:41:06 forward, laughing. No, this isn’t DID YOU KNOW? For the Amigos silent- DID YOU KNOW? The cough at the end a calisthenics class for comedy legends. We’re movie sequence, Chase, Martin and Short of the salute was Chase’s idea — likely Cin a West Hollywood studio, where Empire has wore authentic grease-paint make-up, a nod to the procedure for a hernia exam. assembled the three stars of ¡Three Amigos! — plus which was discontinued with Technicolor. director John Landis — to celebrate the movie’s Chapter 9, 00:51:22 25th anniversary. It’s the first time all four have Chapter 2, 00:12:09 LUDICROUS WESTERN MOMENT! This been in the same room for many years, and spirits CAMEO! That’s Joe Mantegna, aka The campfire scene comes complete with are high. There’s only one problem: no-one can Simpsons’ Fat Tony, as movie producer fake backdrop and random wildlife. The remember how to do that damn salute. As they Harry Flugleman, plus Jon Lovitz and skewered ‘bats’ the Amigos are eating continue to argue over the routine, Landis yells out, as his assistants. were actually fried bacon. “No, guys, that’s the Macarena!” The scene is gloriously absurd, but from this Chapter 2, 00:16:00 quartet you’d expect nothing less. Set in 1916, Martin Short, SILLINESS! Some inspired improv from Chevy Chase ¡Three Amigos! is the tale of three excellently and Steve Martin, as Lucky makes bird noises atop named silent-movie stars — Lucky Day (Martin), Martin, a wall. “Hoo! You! Two! Look! KAAAA!” Dusty Bottoms (Chase) and Ned ‘Little Neddy’ photographed reiss. hugo suit by all grou p /myriam aroughetti/shannon feiman. chevy chase: on February Nederlander (Short) — who have their contract 25, 2011, in Chapter 3, 00:20:08 terminated and head to Mexico to put on a show . DID YOU KNOW? The Amigos arrive by for a village. Problem is, the confused caballeros Below: carriage at a scuzzy saloon called Chapter 9, 00:52:52 Sporting the have actually been hired to rid said village of a sombrero Cantina El Borracho. This is Spanish SONG! “Blue shadows on the trail/Little deadly bandit named El Guapo (Alfonso Arau). in 1986. for ‘Bar Of The Drunk’. cowboy, close your eyes and dream…”

Uniting three veterans (Chase @ the w grooming: cheri keating An utterly charming spoof ballad, and Short did one memorable season each, while complete with equine backing vocals. Martin is a perennial host) and with Landis (the Martin is delighted by the fake-out. Later, the man behind and National pair launch into a shoe-shuffling rendition of My Chapter 10, 00:57:20 Lampoon’s ) at the helm, the “When I first read Amigos, I went, ‘Yes, please!’ Little Buttercup, the camp number they perform CAMEO! The burbling voice of the Singing movie was expected to be a huge hit. Instead, it John Landis in a Peckinpah-esque saloon in the film. Chase, Bush belongs to co-writer/songsmith made less money than Poltergeist II: The Other Partly because I’d get to ride horses.” who’s off getting changed, wanders in briefly in his , pitched right up. Side. Or Police Academy 3: Back In Training. boxers to see what all the noise is about. We don’t Yet Amigos! didn’t let box-office failure a talking turtle, a plethora of piñatas and a villain notice whether his bottom is actually dusty. Chapter 12, 01:20:10 become its own personal El Guapo. Over the whose henchmen gift him a woolly jumper. Finally, salute perfected (see page 83 for our Chapter 3, 00:22:55 LUDICROUS WESTERN MOMENT! A Sergio years, the film has gained a sizeable cult following But most of all, ¡Three Amigos! has a warmth DIY guide) and shoot complete, the Amigos head SONG! The Amigos regale a bar full of Leone-esque stand-off, complete with and even spawned professional impersonators that’s nothing to do with the blazing desert sun. over to a table to share their memories. Well, two hardened thugs with their well-honed close-ups of eyes and twitching fingers. (one such group, of which Short’s cousin is Even the bad guys are lovable, while the lead trio of them — Chase is mysteriously absent at first... My Little Buttercup routine. Though the duel in The Good, The Bad a member, loans Empire its hand-crafted have the kind of easy chemistry which can’t be And The Ugly didn’t end with a dick joke. sombreros for our photoshoot). Why the faked. In a 1993 Playboy interview, Martin was What do you think of when you think of this movie? Chapter 3, 00:25:55 longevity? Well, the movie’s whip-smart, asked to name his best friends, and put Chase and Steve Martin: I remember what a tremendous LUDICROUS WESTERN MOMENT! One bar Chapter 15, 01:33:22 containing some of the most inspired Short at the top of the list. That affection is still amount of fun it was to make. We were in brawl’s not enough for Landis, who trashes CAMEO! The gorgeous girl who and wordplay of the ’80s. there. When Short pulls up in his car, he’s talking Tucson and the Mojave desert, on location, the same drinkerie twice in ten minutes. inexplicably turns up to kiss Ned farewell It’s also spectacularly silly, taking in to the already-arrived Martin via Bluetooth, having the time of our lives. Not unreasonably, the barman laments, is Playboy centrefold Rebecca Ferratti. such surreal delights as a singing bush, pretending he’s at a completely different location. Martin Short: I was the chief Amigo. The “This town’s getting too rough for me!” She’s in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective too.

[[1L]] EMPIRE june 2011 empireonline.com Subscribe at www.empireonline.com/sub june 2011 EMPIRE [[2R]] 0123456789 ¡three amigos! they knew how much fun it was to make a Western, Before the shoot, all three of them went to take strange clicking noises) they wouldn’t let us.” Because I’ve worked on riding lessons, just like good actors. The end Landis: As I recall, you guys made those up on a lot of them, but this is the only one I directed. of the first day, they’re like, “We’re sore... This the day. And we had a ball riffing on all the conventions. hurts...” And they never went again! Short: May I just ask, what the hell was that scene Like in the saloon scene, when Chevy’s offered Short: Steve had an especially brilliant double. all about? tequila and he says, “Well, is it fattening?” A rodeo cowboy who looked exactly like him. Martin: Well, we accidentally kill the Swordsman. Chase: “Do you have anything besides Mexican Chase: That was a great double. I’m not sure what He was supposed to reveal something to us. food?” That was a good line. her name was. Chase: We learn nothing! That’s what I really like Martin: One of my favourites in the saloon is where Landis: Chevy actually did my favourite physical about the movie. We’re so clueless. I go, “Excuse me. We’re not Mexicans. We’re from gag in the movie. The big crane shot where the out of town...” three of them ride up and dismount. He throws his Were any scenes deleted from the film? Chase: John, you filled the place with all those leg over one horse and ends up sitting backwards Landis: A lot, actually. This movie was an really rough-looking guys. on another. You did that in the first take. And the interesting experience for me, because during Martin: What was the name of the fellow behind look on your face just before we cut is fantastic. post-production I was on trial (over an on-set the bar? He had a funny name. Martin: My favourite bit of yours, Chevy, is when accident on ) and could only Landis: Fred Asparagus! we’re thirsty in the desert. My canteen is empty. work at night. When I turned the movie over to Short: He looked exactly like Sergeant Garcia Marty’s is full of dust. And you’ve got the last lot the studio, Orion, they took over and removed from the old Zorro. of water and you’re spilling it and spitting it all a lot of stuff that I actually thought was great. Landis: It was also great getting to homage vintage over the place. Then you turn nonchalantly and Like the whole opening in Old Hollywood. Westerns. We shot the silent-movie sequence on say, “Lip balm?” Martin: I thought you took that out. the oldest exterior set at Universal Studios, built Chase: I should have given some to my horse. Chase: Remind me what we’re talking about. for a Tom Mix film. The tourist trams go through Short: Don’t you remember? We were in it every ten minutes and the boys would shoot One of the most celebrated scenes sees you a mansion... Chase, Short, Martin and Landis wait for their six-guns and dance for them. encounter a singing bush. Is it a Biblical reference? Landis: ... And you sing that great song about Carrot Top Amigo. It was my very first film and it the coffee and Chase: Another great one was the campfire Landis: Sure, it’s right there in the Old Testament couldn’t have been a more luxurious way to start. HobNobs. Below left: sequence. — the Singing Bush! Someone on set. God Martin: Seriously, it was your first film? knows who. Below Short: When the horses start singing! I remember Martin: No, it’s not Biblical. I just thought it was Short: Yeah. right: Siesta time! walking onto that soundstage and seeing the a funny idea. And it was in the script right from Martin: Can I say that it shows? magnificent painted backdrop. It went on forever. day one. Lorne, Randy and I liked the idea of Short: (Laughing) Thank you so much! No, it was Martin: It was lit beautifully and there were live shrubbery that won’t shut up. fun. It was totally fun. animals all over the set. Chase: It was the funniest damn thing. Martin: We made lifelong friends. Chase: It looked real. Because you assumed we were going to get Short: We did. Landis: (Laughing) What do you mean it looked to the bush and it would stop singing, so we (Chevy Chase appears, his shirt hanging open) real? If you were Roy Rogers it looked real! could ask it questions. But it just kept going. Chase: You started already? I thought we were (Singing) “La-la-lee-la-doo-da-day!” supposed to be getting changed? How about the horse-riding? Landis: And then one of you has the John Landis: It doesn’t matter. Come on, sit down. Landis: Put it this way, when they figured out great punchline: “My guess is, this is Chase: With my shirt open? the salute, I was just glad it was something they the Singing Bush.” Landis: Any way you like. Come on. could do. Because they couldn’t ride horses! Short: Everybody’s gotta eat later, so button Chase: No, we could ride. Except for him. Then you summon the Invisible Swordsman… the shirt. (Points at Martin) Martin: That part of the movie is pretty out- Chase: Okay, okay! Martin: (Laughs) I was on that horse for literally there. We each recite a chant to summon the (He sits) one second before they said, “Cut!” and Swordsman, and I remember that mine Short: You know what my main memory of the somebody else took over. But it really looks was my dog’s name: “Farley-farley-farley- shoot is? Scrabble. like we’re on those horses. farley-FARLEY!” Martin: We were big, big, big Scrabble players. Landis: That was my biggest accomplishment. Chase: Mine was something like this... (Makes Landis: Those of us who weren’t working were! Martin: But we had to put a limit up. A three-letter “We learn nothing in the movie. That’s what limit for Marty’s sake. THE AMIGO WAY Our five-point guide to pulling off that salute Short: When we’d get into words like ‘boat’, I’d be chevy chase thinking, “Okay, he’s just showing off now...” I really like — we’re so clueless.” Landis: What was fun — for me, anyway — was watching the three of them constantly one-upping Chase: What was wrong with it? two, as I recall. And Randy, of course. each other. They’d sit there making cruel and Martin: It was just very different. Very based on Landis: All the songs are Randy Newman songs. cutting remarks that were truly funny. puns. I was in St. Barts visiting He’s a genius. Chase: Nothing really cruel. and he said, “I think we should throw this away Short: The music is so fun. Martin: No, no. and write a new one together.” And I said, “Okay.” Landis: But I also love ’s score; it’s Chase: Except, of course, when it involved Marty. Landis: It’s a strange script, but a very smart one. my favourite of all I’ve done. It’s not Like Animal House — the movies are so silly only a gigantic score — 112 pieces — but it’s Elmer Steve, you came up with the story. Are you fascinated and outrageous, I don’t know if people are making fun of himself. He’s doing a parody of his by the Wild West? aware of how sophisticated they are. When own music for The Magnificent Seven! Martin: I guess so. It just seemed like a fertile I first read Amigos, I went, “Yes, please!” setting. It was the late ’70s when I came up Partly because I’d get to ride horses, but also This is the only Western any of you have made… with the idea of the three actors going to because I knew it would be really funny. Chase: Actually, I was in the new True Grit, but perform a show and it becoming real. Martin: Lorne and I had a blast writing it. He they cut it. Fig.1 Fig.2 Fig.3 Fig.4 Fig.5 But I hired two writers to turn it into would come into town, stay at a Beverly Hills Martin: It’s the best, making a Western... Right arm to Left arm to Both hands Turn head Thrust pelvis

a screenplay and that didn’t work out. hotel and walk over to my house. Every day at Landis: said it right when he said, “If hugo p eña (2) (hennessyart.com) hennessy tom I llustration: left shoulder right shoulder on hips to right forward and cough

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Here: Dos amigos. Above right: Chase watches out for gophers. Below: Short didn’t get the grey hair/ specs memo.

the morning. You don’t remember that at all? Chase: I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember you! “We were big, big, big Scrabble players. We had Landis: You were all wearing beautiful robes, steve martin getting ready. And we did a very elaborate a three-letter limit for Marty’s sake.” tracking shot following the Amigos as they walked to the studio head’s office. Past open-air necks by some weird tribe of Incan Indians. that we were going to show up in our costumes, stages where things were being filmed: a jungle I clear my throat and announce, “If you don’t set then at four o’clock it was decided we weren’t. epic, a pie-fight, a contemporary melodrama, us free, I’m going to make the sun go dark.” All And their joke was, “What if no-one tells Marty?” then finally The Duelling Cavalier, with Fran the Indians look scared. Lo and behold, the sun Martin: We laughed so hard at the thought of us Drescher in a Marie Antoinette costume goes dark. And the head Indian looks at me and turning up in suits and him standing there with swooning over her lover. It was part of the goes (nonchalantly), “Eclipse.” the big hat on. Then we tried to create a myth Amigos’ rivalry with Fran’s character, who Landis: Which is why it’s not in the film. that it had happened. was based on Lina Lamont from Singin’ In Chase: It’s just such a long joke. Think how long Landis: But didn’t you actually do that, on The Rain. But all the stuff with Fran was cut. that would take to go through... Saturday Night Live? Short: That’s right! We came back to the mansion Martin: Well, I couldn’t figure out any other way Short: We did turn it into a skit, when the three and she’d moved in. And she went (in spot-on to get us out of that dirt. of us hosted. Drescher whine): “Whaddya waaant?” Chase: And they were also nice enough to do the Landis: All that’s left of that storyline is the poster Chevy and Steve, is it true that you tricked Martin pills joke that night. (Shortly after filming of outside the studio walls that Steve does his bird- into going to the premiere in his Amigos outfit, Amigos wrapped, Chase entered the Betty Ford calls in front of. claiming you would do the same? Center for treatment for painkiller addiction.) Chase: I don’t remember any of that. Short: No, but it almost happened. The plan was They just started throwing pills at me — “You want some pills, Chevy? Here!” — to make fun Anything else that didn’t make it? of the fact I had gone to Betty Ford for pills. Short: Yeah. All the funny stuff. Martin: Betty Ford gave you pills? Landis: (Subversive stand-up comic) Chase: Very funny. This is way back. But the did a cameo as a savage Mountain Man, wearing truth is, they used that, made fun of it. chicken bones, with a bloody axe in each hand. Short: (With mock compassion) Well, that Steve and Marty were caught in his trap and kept was wrong. shouting at Chevy to shoot him. Finally, Chevy covers his eyes and does. There followed a long Was there ever talk of a sequel? scene where the dying cannibal shows snap- Landis: As soon as it didn’t do well, no. (Laughs) shots of his children to the guilt-ridden Chevy. Chase: What did it end up doing? $67 million It was very funny and insane and I don’t or something? remember why it was cut. Landis: I have no idea. It did better foreign. I made The Amigos Martin: There was also a scene in the script showcase their the first American film to do better foreign than that we couldn’t shoot, because it was moves for Landis. domestic, which was The Blues Brothers. And

too expensive. We get buried up to our this movie also did better. Now it’s common, hugo p eña (1)

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Here: Anyone seen our sombreros? Right, from top: Amigos’ piñata paradise; Landis and his Mexican cartel; Horseplay on set.

then it was odd. But I’m very proud of it. Chase: Maybe it should have been promoted more. I’m trying to figure out why it didn’t do so well... “I think it was a little ahead of its time. That Landis: Everyone was saying at the time, “You martin short shouldn’t make a Western.” Do you remember? kind of comedy is in vogue now.” Short: When did Silverado come out? Was that before or after? Finally, why do people still love the Amigos? Landis: It’s been done three or four times. Landis: Before, I think. Chase: (Poker-faced) Well, I just don’t believe that. Only successfully! Short: Well, I remember talking to Larry Kasdan, Landis: It may be because the three of them are who directed that. He said that when he was just so lovably dumb. I saw the movie yesterday And with that, the Three Amigos disband, trying to sell that film, someone told him, “You and it really made me laugh. The silly stuff, head to their cars and ride off towards Sunset. can’t make a Western. Westerns are passé.” And like when one of them says, “We’re going to The next day, an email pops into Empire’s inbox. he went, “Oh, now you mention it!” have to use our brains,” and the other two It’s from Landis: go, “Damn...” But 25 years later, Amigos is part of pop culture. Martin: It’s a funny, silly comedy. It just works. And Yesterday, Steve’s first words to me when he Chase: That’s true. There were three football by the way, I have to give John a lot of credit. got there were, “You were right, John — time is players they called The Three Amigos, and they You recognised that these were sweet characters the only true test of a movie.” Which is a quote played the music when they came on. Three and directed in that direction. You allowed that from Peter Bogdanovich that I had repeated to baseball players too. to happen. That scene where we all sleep together him years ago. Martin: I saw a New York Times cartoon with in the same bed — it’s so Laurel and Hardy. I am very fond of ¡THREE AMIGOS! and Rumsfeld, Cheney and George W. as the Amigos. Short: I actually think it was a little ahead of its delighted to see it get some recognition. Landis: And it’s been in The Sopranos! time. That kind of comedy is in vogue now. Many thanks for your help. Martin: Really? The Sopranos? And yet we’ve Chase: It plays off the Western concept of us Best always — John never seen a residual... being heroes. But in fact we’re just doofuses. Landis: Well, Orion went out of business and We’re just actors. It’s a mistake that’s made clear Mr. Landis, we’d salute you — if only we it got bought by Warner Home Video. So in the beginning but we’re not in on it. could remember how. there’s money there, but we won’t get it. Landis: It’s a great premise, one that’s been copied [email protected] Chase: I don’t know what the cheques I’m so many times. Tropic Thunder, ...

getting are for, then... Martin: Galaxy Quest was the exact same premise. ¡Three Amigos! is out now on DVD. hugo p eña (3)

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