Miniatures Game

TABLE OF CONTENTS

On Gnomes ...... 2 Gnome Gear List ...... 24 How They Got This Way ...... 2 Gnomic Gadgets ...... 24 Anatomical Rundown ...... 2 Gnomic Weapons List ...... 26 How Little Gnomes are Made ...... 2 Clock-Fairy Weapons ...... 28 Science Clubs ...... 3 Gremlin Weapons ...... 28 The Law of Hermitage ...... 3 Scenarios ...... 29 Life in the Slow Lane ...... 3 A Little Paranoid ...... 29 Gnomic Technology ...... 4 Surprise Party ...... 29 The Krimtrips ...... 5 Oh, no, they’re back ...... 30 Gremlins ...... 6 Foreign Relations ...... 6 Quick Reference Charts ...... 31 & 32 Game Play ...... 7 What You’ll Need ...... 7 Game Terms ...... 7 CREDITS The Fairy Cards ...... 8 The Fairy Deck ...... 8 Produced by Kenzer and Company Entering the Battlefield ...... 9 Engineered, assembled, oiled, calibrated, aimed and fired by: Scott Leaton The Round ...... 9 and Brian van Hoose with minor contributions by Peter Ashton Order Cards ...... 9 Altitude ...... 10 Editor in Chief: Brian Jelke Dragging Loot ...... 11 Assistant Editors: Mark Plemmons and James Colletti Rushing ...... 11 Pouncing ...... 11 Research, development, and violent crash testing (ideas, advice and rule- To Kill a Fairy ...... 11 knocking) by: Richard Ranallo, Ed Hirsch, Mark Pytel, David S. Kenzer, Brian Attacking ...... 11 Jelke, Steve Johansson, Jolly Blackburn, and Todd Weaver Line o’ Sight ...... 11 Foolish guinea-pigs... er, I mean, “lab assistants”: Richard Ranallo, Ed Hirsch, The Combat Process ...... 12 Nasty Hits ...... 12 Alexis Hadley, Chris & Bill Leaton, Mark Pytel, Ben Merbitz, James Colletti, The One Card Rule ...... 12 and Brian Jelke Multiple Attacks ...... 12 Additional taste testing and nutritional analysis volunteers: Summary of Combat ...... 12 Robert Cohen and friends, Phillip Petranek, Joeseph Zarebski and our many, Wrestling ...... 13 many con-goin' friends (you know who you all are!) Eating Meat ...... 14 Scott would like to give special thanks to: Bill Leaton (deranged inventor extra- Casting Spells ...... 15 ordinaire), Alexis Hadley (world’s cutest mad scientist), Wayne Roberts (a.k.a. Tug-Tug ...... 16 Uncle Moose), and most of all, the player’s ‘round the world. We love ya! Gnomes ...... 16 Order Cards ...... 17 This book is dedicated to mean, stupid boys. Gnomes in Combat ...... 17 Scott only uses Zildjan drums and skins. Armor ...... 17 Art Direction: Bob Burke Gear ...... 18 Graphic Design: Bob Burke & Jiffy Burke Special Weapons ...... 18 Cover Artist: David Day Naming your Figures ...... 19 Gremlins ...... 20 Interior Artists: Aaron Siddall & Scott Leaton Bashing ...... 21 Manufactured in the United States of America Clock Fairies ...... 21 First Printing: April 2001 Rogue Clocks ...... 22 PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, The Gnome Lists ...... 23 characters, places and incidents either are the product of the Size Comparison Chart ...... 23 authors’ imaginations or are used fictitiously, and any resem- blance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Questions? Comments? We’d love to hear from you! 511 W. Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087 E-mail: [email protected] www.kenzerco.com

© Copyright 2001, 2006 Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. This book is protected under international treaties and the copyright laws of the United States of America. No part of this book may be reproduced without the express written consent of Kenzer and Company. Permission is granted to the purchaser of this product to reproduce sections of this book for personal use only. Sale or trade of such reproductions is strictly prohibited. Fairy Meat, Clockwork Stomp and the Kenzer and Company logo are trademarks of Kenzer and Company. of pygmy pygmies with dwarfism or prehistoric mini-men who Introduction steal lizard eggs for a living. The plain truth is that gnomes, This game is a stand-alone rulebook for miniatures combat like most Wee Folk, don’t fit in the world at all. based on the original Fairy Meat miniatures game. This book contains enough of the game rules to play games using the As you might already know, a gnome is a very small, fat, races described in this book. If you would like to learn more bearded fellow. They have five fingers and five toes, and look about Fairies, you should buy the original Fairy Meat game. very similar to us. Their noses and ears are relatively large, their cheeks are rosy, their beards are long and ragged, and On Gnomes they’ve got the muscle tone of a marshmallow rabbit.

They’ve come a long way from their outdoorsy lawn- How They Got This Way ornament-esque past, though, and today’s gnome rarely has a Once upon a time, gnomes were a peaceful, bookish people. tan. Peg legs and eye-patches are very common, and their skin Some lived in forests or on mountaintops, philosophizing and is often pocked with acne, moles, and scars. Gnomes aren’t a refining their advanced mathematics. Others dwelled secretly very healthy folk. in the walls of alchemists’ laboratories, sneaking out at night to pore over the research of their human landlords. On the Unlike most little people (or big people, for that matter), whole, they were simply weird, merry hermits, content only to gnomes are all very interested in science, and understand their learn and tinker. own anatomy remarkably well. They have written books on biology, mostly for curiosity’s sake, and know exactly what Bit by bit, though, every generation of gnomes became more their insides look like, often through self-dissection. In spite of and more tense than the one before. You see, they all had a the information available, for the purposes of this essay, we burning feeling that their lives were lonely somehow, even with shall say gnomes are slimy inside, and leave it at that. other gnomes for company. On top of this, they grew ever more envious of the physical freedoms of more athletic What? You want to know more? Hey, hold on- you’re the creatures, and of the rapidly advancing Big People, with their sicko who read the last book! Well, forget it, I’m not impossibly huge engines and refined fuel and electrical power describing gnome guts, either. No way. It’s pointless, and and all that. Eventually, it was held that there just wasn’t much some of us eat while we write. good to being a gnome at all, and the best choice for any gnome was to stay home and build little models. Well, I am sorry, but it’s really not relevant here! What knotty freak really wants to know what gnome intestines are like, or This continued along until the early seventies, when the what color their four livers are? I don’t get paid by the word, psychological buildup came to a head, and a new movement chum! It has nothing whatsoever to do with the game. slowly began to turn in gnome society. They were beginning Honestly. Let’s talk about gnome sex instead. to look more sharply at the world around them, and what they could do with it. Why can’t we be on top?, the average How Little Gnomes are Made gnome was heard to say. We’re smart, we’re handsome, and we can bench twelve ounces! Ahem.

And so it was that gnomic society began forging its No one knows where gnomes come from, and if own place in the world, bit by chubby bit. If it anyone does, they’re not telling. Like humans, has to take a hundred lifetimes, they resolved, gnomes find it impossible to recall their own we will be the pinnacle of science and thought, infancies, and the existence of female gnomes and take our rightful place as the superior is still a subject of debate amongst them. You species on Earth! “All well and good,” some might be saying, well, how can there be replied, “but first we’d like to practice on baby gnomes without mommy gnomes? something... small.” The great gnomic philosopher, Grimkutlet Bent, spent much of his life Anatomical Rundown searching for the truth about Gnomes, like all little people, appear “Gnomettes”. In his book on the to share a few ancestors with subject, The Unbearable Heaviness of humans. Gnomes would say My Abdomen, he put forth the following that Big People, share a few premises: ancestors with gnomes. Evolutionary theory seems 1)All known gnomes are male. to fail in the magical kingdom, though, so I’ll spare the 2)The existence of a male gnome implies a female gnome, reader any elaborate notions somewhere.

2 3) If there is a female gnome, our own births imply a very they are today. The crowded underground conventions fortunate male gnome. also help quite a few gnomes get really sick.

4) Tee hee, tee hee. The Law of Hermitage Gnomes don’t really have a legal system. There are a few agree- Grimkutlet called this hypothetical male gnome the Überstud, ments among them, though, and the most important one is the and claimed to have met and interviewed at least three such Law of Hermitage. Basically, this law says that, unless the gnomes in the local mini-tavern. The validity of his field Council announces otherwise, no gnome is to reveal himself to research, however, is still largely debated. a human. The time is not yet right for that.

Growing up is strange and frustrating for gnomes. There are Many gnomes keep tabs on fringe magazines and papers; if no romances, no families, no mothers and no fathers. Young a human should stumble onto some forbidden info and start gnomes are often found wandering naked in the sewers, or blabbing, rest assured that he’ll probably die in his sleep, or abandoned on the doorsteps of gnome-homes. burst into flames on a beach somewhere. If a gnome volun- teers such information to a human, well, he’s halfway to an Of course, you can’t grow up to be a mad scientist without exciting Gnome-against-Gnome Scenario! some education and discipline. Guidance and camaraderie is given to young gnomes by fellow members of localized gnome communities, which they call Science Clubs. Life in the Slow Lane It would be nice if gnomes led torrid, Science Clubs complicated lives, full of intrigue and adventure. Sometimes, of course, their A Science Club is sort of a village, a collection research may bring them into interesting of gnomes. They are named for the town or situations, which is a great relief to anyone region in which the club is centered, who’s writing a book about them. Mostly, such as the Acton Science Club in though, they like to stay at home. Acton, Massachusetts. Some of the largest science clubs are located in Gnomes typically live in confined, elaborate Detroit, Redmond, and Boston, laboratories, usually within the walls of although the center of the action cellars or attics. Their locations are is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, home chosen very carefully, to prevent any of the Council itself. humans from discovering their whereabouts. The sewers are also A club is the repository for the favorite haunts for this reason, research of its members, and the pride and most urban gnomes today of any science club is its library. There dwell in the pipe-laced underbelly is a strong intellectual competition of the streets. This has two advan- between clubs, who are always eager to tages: firstly, it allows for a relatively show off their inventions to one comfortable and unnoticed method of another, and fights sometimes break travel in densely populated areas, and out. In truth, though, almost all clubs secondly, the stench tends to mask over are allied with each other, by virtue of their rather offensive body odors. the Science Club Council. Gnomes who live in rural areas rarely The Council is an organization have such a lavish habitat, and are comprised of almost every science club in usually forced to do any necessary North America. There’s a similar traveling under the cover of night. organization of gnomes centered in Some have come up with more Florence, Italy, but due to lack of clever solutions, the most popular communication, the two have devel- of which is the “Auto-Toad”, a oped more or less independently for the mechanical suit covered in the last century or so. embalmed skin of a large bullfrog or toad. Rats and other furry animal shapes have The Convention also been used, but the skin tends to rot Every year, an underground convention of clubs is held, and and go bald from the machine’s noxious for a few days, every good gnome on the continent is in one exhaust fumes. Then they risk place. Hiding in luggage, sneaking onto busses, or piloting capture by ambitious veterinar- their own vehicles, they all get there eventually. Ideas are ians. While we’re on the subject, exchanged, news is shared, and lectures are given. The unifi- let’s take a good look at... cation of gnomes in this way has helped them become what

3 Gnomic Technology transfer energy or not. It seems that a sort of magic fills in the The path of gnomic science seems firmly set along two paths gaps. of development: military technology, and technology that passes the time until it’s time to kill something again. It wasn’t Gnomic technology used to be almost entirely clockwork, until always this way, of course, but gnomes have developed a sort of the use of chemical-cell batteries became common. Nowadays, Napoleon complex that now poisons most everything they do. a gnome gets more supplies from electronics and hobby shops The ability to kill anything, should the need arise, is towards than from discarded timepieces, and small batteries are the the top of their priority list. chief source of fuel for most machines. You might be surprised at the scale power a tiny chainsaw can get from a watch battery! To this end, very specialized weapons have been developed, for killing different things. Gnomes have become very good at The Black Iron killing humans, for example, although they generally only do Another great discovery of theirs is Faecide, sometimes called so when their secret existence is threatened. Poison darts and Black Iron. Faecide is a kind of weird iron, usually found in germ warfare are the most reliable ways to take down the meteorites, which possess a sort of intelligence. This semi- “giants”, but Spontaneous Combustion Rays are by far the sentience lends itself to anything made of the stuff, and it has most fun, and have resulted in more than a few tabloid a one-track mind set on covering itself in blood. headlines. The weight of Faecide swords seems to shift around in battle, Killing fairies, however, is not so easy. The large, man- guiding the blade in transit to make messier, more painful cuts. killing weapons are too unwieldy and inaccurate to take out Faecide is also irritating and somehow shocking, as anyone the quick little bastards; it has to be done on a smaller, more struck with it can attest. It seems to push itself towards immediate scale. So it is that gnomes have engineered a homicidal ends, like a murderous magnet. Craftier gnomes tremendous arsenal of personal anti-fairy weapons, including have found ways to “program” the stuff, by smelting it with the flamethrowers, machine guns, and small-scale bombs. blood of their enemies. Fairies love this stuff, and sometimes get their hands on it, which usually pushes them to the top of local gnomes’ While many swear that swords made of Faecide are sentient Things to Kill list. or possessed, and others claim that the stuff really prefers fairy flesh, no one’s really quite sure. Gnomes employ similar weapons against each Faecide is a very rare material, at any rate, other, but mainly because and wise gnomes treat it like gold, no gnome is stupid enough especially now that most fairies are on a life- to attack an enemy at home, long warpath... where all the really powerful artillery is stored. Many gnomes Clock-Fairies have boobytrap-rigged handguns The practice of building robotic soldiers has pointed at their front doors, and most always appealed to gnomes. Limited in numbers, have lots of alarm systems scattered unable to be in more than one place at a time, the around their homes. The best way for advantages of disposable soldiers have always been one gnome to get the jump on another, obvious. therefore, is to attack him outside the home. Craftier methods are often But gnomes lack any sort of programming skills; employed in such inter-gnome modern computers just aren’t to their scale, conflicts, such as the use of and the computer revolution has completely gremlins and clock-fairies. passed them by. Artificial intelligence continues to elude them. It probably always How it works will, too, as long as gnomic engineers have access As cliched as it seems, it to an alternative, um, intelligence: really is true: most things gnomes make Fairy brains! shouldn’t work at all. That they do is testament to a sort The Clock-Fairy breakthrough began with one of instinctual ingenuity, which Gunkdunker Albany, a lonely and disturbed gnomes call Fudging It. Their gnome who lived beneath New York City. tiny machines and chemicals Albany was working on some chemistry wind up doing just what they project or another, when he knocked over a jar should, most of the time, containing a “death-suspended” fairy head. whether the gears really He set the head on a moldy glass shelf in his

4 kitchen, and went to go fix more of the animation elixir in regular basis, such fairies often “go home” and join up with a which the head was neatly preserved. Fairy band, or simply start their own. Although they can no longer digest meat, they never seem to stop trying!* The fairy (or her head, anyway) immediately started making jokes about Gunkdunker’s relatively enormous rear end. He *In case you were wondering, Gunkdunker was killed a few months came back into his lab, furious, and was about to drop-kick her after his creation’s debut. His body was found decapitated, and his into the ceiling when he noticed something: the mold on the badly beaten head was found lying in an alley, between two glass was lighting up, through some kind of magic, at about the crudely-fashioned goalposts. spot where the spine touched the mold.

Albany did some testing, and found that he could tap into The Krimtips these newly-discovered “nerve-cords” to operate a number of In 1974, the Krimtip Science Club (a then little-known club simple switches. He had his pet head try to operate various in Krimtip, Maine) called a “Mandatory Lecture” in the bowels devices around the lab, until in his enthusiasm he hooked her of the nearby community college. It was to be the unveiling of up to a machine-gun tripod. After nearly getting killed, and a secret project, the fruits of a century’s labor. There was a great subsequently enjoying a rousing game of Kick the Head, he commotion among the Science Club Council; the gnomes of got to work building the head a proper, more familiar body. Krimtip were a secretive, antisocial lot, and for many of the gnomes attending it would be their first contact with a Later that year, Gunkdunker sold some blueprints at the “Krimtipper”. The Krimtips were the only club that never sent Convention for the device he called the “auto-fairy”. The their chairman to the Conventions, and never answered the model he brought to show there served a double duty in the lab warren door when called upon. Gnomes are not a gossipy folk, as a ball-gagged wall clock while not in use, and so had a clock- but there were plenty of stories about mad ‘tippers in blood- face built into the chest. What he saw as a practical addition soaked laboratories, imitating their favorite mad scientists from became the standard in other gnomes’ designs, and the devices the movies. Some of the stories were horrible enough to cause are now commonly called Clock-Fairies. some gnomes to wonder, for a moment, if perhaps not all science was indeed good science. Build Your Own Fairy Clock-Fairies, often simply called “Clocks”, are No one knows what the “secret project” turned about the same size as real fairies. They’re thin out to be, but from radio broadcasts it is and wiry, build of copper and bronze, and known that it was very poorly received. are all topped with an actual fairy-head Many of the gnomes at the lecture were grafted on at the neck. Instead of wings, apparently furious at the very idea of it. they sport a set of propellers that spring Somehow, the Krimtips, fearing their from their back. Some lack hands as well, project would meet opposition from all instead possessing built-in weapons. Gnomekind, managed to kill every visitor to the lecture. Word of the slaughter got Fun Fact: The propellers on a clock-fairy’s out when some burnt remains were found back should technically propel them only by answer-seekers, and the secretive forwards and backwards, instead of all over Krimtips have since become avowed the place, which they do. Weird, huh? enemies of all other Clubs.

A clandestine Krimtip “movement” has Clock-Fairies serve an important role The Krimtips Logo since infected much of the western assisting Gnomes in battle. Gnomes used to world, with agents from the original have to trap fairies for “parts”, but those club infiltrating, and eventually dominating, entire clubs days are ending; after seeing how cool clock-fairies are, elsewhere. They never tell anyone what their goals are, often many fairies simply show up at the laboratory door, volun- even other Krimtips. This seeming lack of organization and teering for a shiny new body. aimless belligerence makes the so-called Krimtip Army a slippery and unpredictable threat to other gnomes. Few such fairies realize what they’re getting into, though; servi- tude isn’t really a fairy thing, especially servitude to a boring Fortunately, they acknowledge the need to identify each other, old gnome. To control combat defection and treachery, and can thus be recognized by the telltale bright red hats they “Clocks” have remote-control off-switches, set to a secret wear to battle. The only way to meet one is usually to be frequency. Any sign of mutiny often results in a permanent attacked by one, though. They act as outsiders among gnomes place in the lab as a gagged and paralyzed wall clock. and never (openly) represent themselves at the Big Convention, but their agents do start quite a few brawls at When such gnomes die, however, their mechanical servants are lectures there. free from this curse. Provided they can find batteries on a

5 Krimtips Around the World Gremlins are silly little green things, looking a bit like tiny, While gnomes don’t have much care for ethics, most of reptilian rabbits. They have two striped, flat, floppy “ears”, them would call the Krimtip Science Club evil. The which rest atop a green-skinned hare’s head. White, crocodile Krimtips are known to have established connections and spies eyes and long, protruding fangs help to dispel the rabbit in most science clubs, through which they keep tabs on the rest likeness a bit. They have muscular, leaping hind legs, and of the gnomes very closely. What few other gnomes know is contrastingly weak two-fingered claws up front. A whip-like why. tail, terminating in a black metal ball, chases this odd figure. It would make for an altogether bizarre and frightening monster, They’ve lost sight of the great goal of earthly domination, you if not for the fact that the common gremlin is about half an see, and are chiefly interested in ruling the other inhabitants of inch tall. the Smaller World, whom they have grown to despise. The first part of their plan is killing off the “lesser” gnomes, and the As you may already know, these buggers specialize in causing second part is perfecting their maniacal laughs while they mechanical failures. A gremlin uses no magic to do its job; stroke their beards. They’re getting quite good at both bits. rather, an almost supernatural instinct guides their wrenches to tap on just the right spot, or loose the proper bolt. To further their maniacal goals, they’ve committed countless atrocities, from blatant Club-versus-Club assaults to terrorism, While much creepier breeds have arisen to make digital such as the infamous Tucson Hand Grenade incident, which mischief, the old, purely anti-mechanical gremlins still reign killed almost every gnome in Arizona at an area convention in supreme. As long as there are gears, engines, and at least one 1979. That they are guilty is without question; they admitted American space program, no gremlin shall ever be bored. You it. The Krimtips are famously arrogant, and usually broadcast can see why gnomes loathe them so much. responsibility for such acts after they’ve been committed. Some gnomes have cited the glee with which certain bloody “I In an effort to solve the gremlin problem, many gnomes bribe did it” notes have been written as proof that the Krimtips really them into service with shiny baubles. Their instinctual knowl- are completely bonkers. edge of machinery make them ideal for inter-Club battles, and when goaded on with enough greasy ball bearings and paper Nowhere is their sanity more questionable than in France. The clips, gremlins can make obliging lab assistants. Sometimes, if Kepperouge, a Parisian spin-off group that regularly engages in they’re very well behaved, gremlins might even be rewarded “puppy extermination campaigns”, seem to have gone with the chance to smash something really expensive after the completely silly. While still members of the secret Krimptip battle (an irresistible prospect for any good gremlin!). army, and thus a threat to surrounding gnomes, they’ve extended their hostility towards absolutely anyone and Foreign Relations anything, with a slightly larger emphasis on very short Gnomes don’t care very much for the affairs of other Wee Folk. * humans. Fairies are the most obvious nuisance and the most common enemy; there’s always some mad bunch of fairies roaming * Their most infamous weapon is the Malloteer, a catapult that about. Gnomes seek fairies out for use as guinea pigs as often tosses hammers at people’s heads. It’s responsible for at least eight as they themselves are sought out by fairies for a good time. deaths so far, and three winning entries on European home-video television contests. While gnomes have little quarrel with brownies, the reverse is not at all true. Gnomes are fairly unbiased about whom The Krimtips are at war with other Little People as often as they test their weapons against, and the simple truth is that with their Council brethren, and have their own reasons for brownies (who have slightly nomadic villages) are often more waging similar conflicts against Fairies. While they have devel- readily available. Some adventurous brownie knights have oped a few “secret technologies” of their own, all sought out local gnome troublemakers and started fights, gnomic technology inevitably ends up in the but on the whole, the gnome threat pales in comparison public domain, and so they use most of the to the fairy situation. same equipment and methods as their gnomic enemies. The source of their There is some whispering among consistent madness, however, is still a gnomes about a new threat, however. mystery. Gnomes are occasionally being found killed in their own homes, by Gremlins unidentifiable weaponry, and even Some say the Universe has a habit of the Krimtips can’t be held account- setting right what its inhabitants able (though they often take the wrong, defensively punishing those blame, much later). While this is still a who create unnatural things in an rare occurrence, it’s making a few chief effort to keep things orderly. While members of the council uneasy. this doesn’t account for the fairy situation, it explains gremlins quite nicely. For now, though, all they can do is wait and see....

6 Game Play Fairy Deck are used as Order Cards and for random draws to resolve Attacks, Wrestling, Twinkle and other What You’ll Need events requiring a random draw. To begin playing, you’ll need to have the following: Order Cards - The Order Cards are the cards that determine • Two or more players (including yourself, silly!) The game is which player goes first, second, etc. Each figure is dealt a card truly ideal for three or more players, but two is enough. at the beginning of every round. Some figures get more than • A deck of cards of the standard Poker variety. If you’re playing one. with lots of people, or don’t want to shuffle quite so often, you can combine two decks, but this can lead to some pretty extra- Fairy Cards - These are special cards players use to keep track ordinary hands. Keep those loveable Jokers in the deck! of an individual figure’s Live, Kill, and Twinkle Points. • Fairy Cards, Counters, Figures and scratch paper. Fairy Each figure on the board has his or her own Cards and counters are provided with this rule book and individual Fairy Card. Other races also use Fairy are also sold separately, and may be copied for personal use. Cards but they’re still called Fairy cards. Counters can also be glass beads, coins, whatever you like. Weird huh? You’ll also need some playing pieces or miniatures to represent your armies on the board. We call these Points - The term Points is used figures. They are sold separately. Finally, you’ll quite a bit. It refers to the need some scratch paper and writing instruments, counters, placed on the Fairy also not included. Cards, to denote the status of • A Ruler or Measuring Tape, marked in the figure. There are four types inches, to measure the movement of the of fundamental points: Live, Kill, miniatures. The Metric system is Armor and Twinkle, all described forbidden, as it makes too much sense, below. and gives fairies headaches. Live Points – Wee folk use their You’ll also need a place to play: a Live Points to defend battlefield in which combat will take themselves against attacks place. Be it a messy dorm room or an (so they can live). area of forest floor, participants must When a player’s figure agree upon a playing area. (You can is attacked, the player make a model of the forest floor out of draws a number of styrofoam and plywood if you like, but cards based on her it’s really not necessary.) If using a figure’s Live Points. scenario, the area might require certain points mapped out in this book, or it Armor Points – Gnomes, like fairies, defend by drawing their might have criteria that must be met. Live Points in cards. Unlike fairies, however, they get a Ideally, there should be plenty of obstacles and high landing bonus card for each point of armor they wear. Gnome keep places for the figures to navigate. The world of fairies and track of their armor by using the aptly named, Armor Points. gnomes is our very own modern Earth, you see, and the playing pieces are all actual-size, so any place in the world is Kill Points - Kill Points are what a figure uses to attack (hence actually your very own highly detailed three-dimensional Kill Points). When a player attacks, she draws a number of game board! cards based on her figure’s Kill Points.

Game Terms Twinkle Points - Twinkle Points are what a fairy uses to cast This rulebook contains some terms you’ve probably never used spells, or “Twinkle”. before, which is most likely because we made them up. Before you go on to the actual rules, read this little list, to familiarize Fairy Points - Fairy Points is the name to describe all of yourself with our new fairy vocabulary. Note that many of the Live and Kill Points that the figure is able to use, these rules refer to fairies who are more completely described in noted by their location on the Fairy Card. This term the original Fairy Meat rule book. We have included much of applies no matter what race the figure is. the information here because clock-fairies can basically do Double weird huh? most of the same neat stuff that fairies can unless it is specifi- cally prohibited in the clock-fairy section provided later in this Meat Points - Meat Points is the name to book. describe all of the Live and Kill Points that have been damaged, and Fairy Deck - Any ordinary deck of playing cards that, when have become useless meat. These used with this game, becomes a magically-powered random- are noted by their location on the izer of death and destruction. The cards drawn from the Fairy Card.

7 Turn - The length of time in which a player may act with all Numbered Cards of her fairies. Cards in Fairy Meat are ranked from lowest to highest in the typical order, Twos through Tens. These are hereafter called Round - The Round is the length of time in which each player the numbered cards, for ease of reference. There is no takes her turn. In scenarios, the game is measured in Rounds. hierarchy of the particular suits (Hearts, Spades, Diamonds and Clubs), but if the players agree, they can settle upon one The Fairy Cards to eliminate ties. Every figure in the game has her own Fairy Card (these are found in the back of the book). Using this card, players keep Tr umps track of the respective figure’s ability and health, using Kings, Queens, Aces and Jacks are known as Trump Cards counters to represent Live, Kill, and Twinkle Points. The here, and function differently than the number cards listed players should keep the fairy cards outside the playing area, above. They are used to bolster the strength of normal cards or in front of the player who’s using them. All players should to regenerate Twinkle Points. This is explained in more detail feel free to examine each other’s Fairy Cards. below.

Looking at the card, you’ll see that it’s divided into two halves, Drawing Hands marked Life and Meat. The top half is the Life side, where the When figures are called upon to draw cards against each other, player places all of the points which the figure can use (her the players use their figures’ Live and Kill Points to determine Fairy Points). Figures start the game with all of their points on how many cards they draw. For instance, in normal combat, the Life area of the card, rearin’ to go. the attacker draws her Kill against the defender’s Live. This means the attacking player draws as many cards as her available The bottom half, the Meat area, is where the player moves a figure’s Kill Points (remember if Live, Kill or Twinkle Points are figure’s points when they can no longer be utilized by the figure in the Meat area they are NOT available), and the defending (thus becoming Meat Points). When a fairy, gnome or anyone player draws as many cards as her figure’s available Live Points else takes damage, she moves damaged Live and Kill Points and Armor Points (if applicable). from the Life area to the Meat area, which denotes their status as Meat Points; also, when a fairy casts a spell, the Twinkle After such a draw, each player selects one numbered card and Points she spends go to the Meat area. Although a fairy cannot any supporting trumps from her hand. The attacker places her use points that are in the Meat section, circumstances can main card face-down, then places any supporting trumps sometimes return them to the Life area. When all of a figure’s behind it. (Each Trump placed down adds 1 to the value of the Live and Kill Points are on the Meat area of the Fairy Card, it number card, so an 8 and two trumps is considered a 10). The means the poor figure is completely dead. defender then does the same. After the players are done placing their selected cards down, turn the cards face-up. There are also blanks on the card for writing down the Whoever gets the highest total result is the winner of that figure’s name and armament. You should remember each particular conflict. figure’s name, so you know which particular card refers to her. You might like to use pencil, so you can erase whatever In such contests, players always want to get a higher result than you write. We recommend you laminate the cards and use a their opponents, so drawing a greater number of cards increases fine-point dry-erase marker for marking them, so they can a figure’s chance of drawing a higher card to play. be re-used. You’ll kill many more trees this way, as you will constantly be buying tissues to wipe off the cards; the Wild Trumps resulting two-dimensional deforested wastelands enable one If a player places a trump as her main card (perhaps because she to see many more stars at night, which is good. drew no numbered cards in her hand), it’s called a Wild Trump. When the cards are revealed, the player draws another card The Fairy Deck from the Fairy Deck and places it on top of the wild trump. In life, nothing is certain; the mischievous spirit-monkeys of This continues until the top card is a numbered card. The Luck have the last word in who lives and who dies. It is their value of the wild trump is considered to be the number of the law that almost every game contains a randomizer, a device for card on top, plus one for each trump beneath it. A figure can these ethereal monkeys to manipulate events in our world. play a wild trump as her main card and still use more trumps Usually, players use dice, coins or knucklebones for as support cards. this purpose, but in Fairy Meat, we use a standard deck of Poker cards, containing Jokers both jokers. This comprises the Fairy Jokers are particularly liked by the magical luck-monkeys, as Deck from which players draw their they serve to screw up the player’s intended results. They have cards. different effects on different situations, and only have to be played if the holding player wishes, or if it’s the only card avail- able. If a player plays a Joker, it is the only card played; that player may not place other cards down. The effects of Jokers

8 are described throughout the rules, according to situation. If sets up first, second, etc. If they like, the players might also two involved figures should get jokers, they cancel each other start off the area during turn zero and enter along the edge out, and nothing exciting happens. during the first turn (assuming the playing area has an edge).

Preparation Exactly what the players are meant to achieve during a battle is The Round explained by the scenario, which they have agreed upon before- Each game of Fairy Meat is broken into rounds. Each round, hand. Objectives can vary from “capture the Golden Acorn” to every player takes a turn with all figures under his or her “drag eight points of meat off the board” or “kill everything,” control. After the last player has taken his or her turn, if the among others. Some scenarios are listed later in this book, game isn’t over, a new round begins. This continues until one oddly enough, in the section entitled Scenarios. of three things happens:

Selecting Figures 1) Only one player’s figures are still alive, or the game The next step is for the players to select their armies. Scenarios objective is met. might call for a specific assortment of pieces and weapons to 2) Players suddenly become injured, mentally ill, drafted, or each player, or a Force Limit. Unless otherwise specified by a otherwise unable to play long enough to complete the scenario, each figure starts the game with all of his or her points game objective. (including Twinkle Points if applicable) in the Life area of the 3) The sun burns out. card. (For more information on selecting and arming your war band, see the section entitled The Gnome Lists below). Each “Round” is taken to mean the completion of the following player should record his or her figures’ equipment on a separate events: sheet of paper. 1) The round begins. 2) The Fairy Deck is shuffled, and each figure is dealt one or Entering the Battlefield more Order Cards, depending on race. How figures get on the battlefield is also 3) Players take turns acting with their figures (Twinkle, move, described in the scenario. If they set attack, and/or eat meat), in the order determined by up directly on the playing area, as Order Cards. opposed to entering along the 4) The round ends. battlefield’s border, a “round zero” will take place. During In a player’s figure’s turn, he or round zero, players draw she may make that figure move, Order Cards (as attack, and Twinkle if applic- described below) to able (in any order). She may determine who also eat meat in lieu of moving or attacking. Play then moves on to the next player’s figure or another figure of the same player, as chosen by the Order Cards, a process described below.

Order Cards The round opens with the shuffling of the Fairy Deck. The players then draw Order Cards to determine the order in which figures take their turns. Someone then counts down, from Kings to Aces.

Upon hearing her figure’s Order Card being called, a player may choose to take her turn or wait until her number is reached again. After the countdown reaches Aces, the count goes back up from Two to Kings. Any player whose initiative card is called during this second count must take her turn.

Redraw any ties and the player with the higher card chooses whether her figure will take her turn before or after the other figure(s) with the formerly tied Order Card.

9 Jokers! Altitude If a figure draws a Joker for her Order Card, she may A figure may change facing at any point during movement, take her turn whenever she likes by shouting out any as many times as she likes. Before and after movement, obscene word and showing everybody her Joker card. If she figures that can fly are considered to have landed, and during shouts while another player is acting, she must wait until movement they are considered to be airborne, at an altitude that action is done. up to the maximum heights listed above. Even if a fairy or clock fairy is flying along the ground (at an altitude of 0), Thinking she is still considered to be flying; fairies don’t walk, you see. While it’s not the easiest thing for a fairy to do, fairies are If you had wings, you wouldn’t walk, either. capable of some forethought. Any fairy or clock fairy with enough Twinkle in her head can engage in this most unfairy- Vertical movement (up and down) does not count as distance like behavior. A fairy may spend Twinkle Points at the begin- traversed, so a clock fairy who frolics 6” across the board may ning of the round to get extra Order Cards. Each Twinkle travel over rocks and under twigs, up and down, as long as she gives her one additional Order Card. doesn’t exceed her maximum altitude (6” for a frolicking fairy) in doing so. A fairy or clock fairy with multiple Order Cards can still only act once per round, but additional Order Cards give her more A fairy can fall any height without injuring herself. She options as to when she may take her turn. merely floats down to safety with her lightweight frame and magical wings or propellers in the case of clock fairies. Moving the Figures Some games use “spaces” for determining how far a piece can Fairies can’t stop in mid-air; in a typical flight they fly upward move; Fairy Meat uses inches. To move a piece, simply choose and drift downward a number of times using their delicate where you want it to go, and measure the distance from the wings. Hovering would take its toll on even the most durable piece to that point with a ruler or measuring tape. pair of fairy-wings after a few seconds of effort! Thus far, gnome manufactured clock fairy propellers haven’t been able Types of Movement to master the After the player selects one of her figures to act, that figure may hovering move about the battlefield. Movement is measured in inches, up phenomenon to the distance determined by the figure’s speed. This distance is either. measured along the ground. Determine the speed of the figure immediately after selecting the fairy to act, before moving or attacking. The speeds for fairies and clock fairies are as follows. Speeds for other races are described later

Pose - The fairy doesn’t move at all, but sits still and looks pretty. A posing figure may only pivot on the spot. A fairy fights better when posing.

Pounce - The fairy moves a distance up to 3”, at an altitude of up to 12” high. This is good for scaling large obstacles.

Frolic - The fairy moves a distance up to 6”, reaching an altitude of up to 6” high. This is the basic move; sort of a fairy walking speed, if you will.

Flutter - The fairy moves a distance up to 12”, at an altitude of up to 3” high. This is the fastest form of movement, sort of a low-altitude force-flight.

The different modes of movement have respective benefits and drawbacks; the farther the distance, the lower the altitude. Also, as you’ll note later later, figures that pose have an edge in combat. A figure can attack before it moves, although the rate of movement has some affect on how well the figure can fight that turn. This is why the player must declare the figure’s speed at the beginning of the figure’s action.

10 Dragging Loot attacking fairy. Rush bonuses are described later, in the As dull as physical labor may be, a fairy might occasionally need Combat section. to drag something from point A to point B once in a while. After a successful kill, fairies are often obligated to drag some meat back Pouncing home to their hungry friends or just somewhere they can eat in A fairy who Pounces and lands atop another fairy may also try peace, or perhaps a scenario requires the retrieval of some to knock her foe to the ground and begin wrestling. A fairy (relatively) large and heavy object. For simplicity’s sake, we say who gets pounced-on can only draw one card (instead of her that such burdens decrease movement altitude and distance by Live as in a normal rush), or two if the assaulted fairy hasn’t half. This includes movement resulting from Twinkle spells! moved yet this round. Oof!

Obviously, carrying a one-point piece of fairy meat isn’t Note that a fairy may pounce straight up out of wrestling and land going to be that heavy. So we also say that dragging any back atop her opponent again, and still receive a bonus. She still amount of meat that is less than half of the acting fairy’s has to successfully escape the brawl to do so, however (see Fairy Points plus Meat Points (round wrestling below). up) is not considered a burden at all, The Infamous Ace of Spades and won’t slow anyone down. Yes, the card everyone dreads: the Ace of Spades. How this card came to be so evil is lost To Kill a Fairy Rushing to us, but it is evil, make no mistake. Just look Rushing an enemy fairy is a good way to what it does in Fairy Meat: After the studious fairy is done knock her to the ground, a perfect learning how to prance about, it’s position for some rowdy wrasslin’! For Whether a player uses this card as a supporting time for her to whip out some one fairy to rush another, the acting trump or a wild trump, it not only counts as a sharp pointy things and get herself player must first announce the target of trump, but that attack (if successful) will some breakfast! her rush (as usual, pre-measuring is a no- automatically result in a three damage Nasty no!). Treat a rush as a flutter, going in a Hit, even if the attacker did not beat the Attacking straight line, with no obstacles in- defender by more than eight (nor even four!). A figure may make an attack before between; rushes are not like normal To make matters worse, a target hurt in such a or after its movement. If your flutters in that they are a direct, linear way has her movement distance (and flight gnomes, gremlins or fairies should flight at high speed. Thus, the target of height) impaired by half for the rest of the like to attack during movement, try the rush must be within direct line-of- game, or until the wound is completely healed to talk them out of it; if that doesn’t sight of the rushing fairy. somehow. Note that this effect takes place if work, take their weapons away until either player involved uses an Ace of Spades, they apologize for disobeying the A fairy can’t rush another fairy who is not just the attacker! rules. already wrestling; she can, however, simply flutter right up and join in. First, the figure nominates its target. A figure may attack anyone within its weapon’s Range. Hand weapons (swords, For the rush to be successful, the target figure must be at a rush knives, fingernails and the like) require base-to-base contact. distance of 6” or more. Before this point, the rampaging fairy Ranged weapons, such as guns, have much longer ranges, a few doesn’t have enough inertia, and just kind of lightly ‘bumps’ of them having no limits at all! into her target, which sadly results in no wrestling at all. Fairies and gremlins must have at least one Kill Point to If the rush is successful, the attacker pushes the target along the attack, even if a weapon lets them draw extra cards. The rush path a bonus distance equal to the attacking fairy’s Kill only way for a fairy without Kill Points to attack is to frenzy, Points. If the fairies bump into any obstacles or other fairies, described below. Gnomes don’t start with any Kill Points the bonus movement stops. and don’t need any to attack.

At the end of this push, the attacking player draws a number of Line o’ Sight cards from the Fairy Deck equal to her fairy’s Kill, and the An attacking figure also requires visual contact to hit its defending player draws a number of cards equal to her Live. target. The target must be within the attacker’s Line of Weapon modifiers (described below) are not used here. If the Sight. Fairy bows and other missile weapons do defending fairy gets a lower result than the attacking fairy, the two not arc. To determine whether or not a of them are now on the ground, wrestling, and a turn of figure can see a distant target, draw an Wrestling immediately commences. Wrestling is described in imaginary line from its head to the target. greater detail in the aptly named Wrestling section. If you can’t get in a position to clearly determine this by eyesight, try Jokers! using a shoelace, bird intestine, or If either player plays a Joker when drawing for the result of a laser pointer. rush, the fairies still wind up on the ground, but the target fairy saw it coming, and so she gets the Rush Bonus instead of the

11 The Combat Process the weapon; Defense Modifiers are penalties applied to those The basic process is as follows. The attacking player draws a who defend against the weapon. Other modifiers are listed number of cards from the Fairy Deck equal to her figure’s avail- below: able Kill (the Kill Points in the Life or active section of the Fairy Card, i.e., one card for each Kill Point NOT in the Meat Target in Partial Cover†...... defender receives +1 card section). The defending player draws just like the attacker, Attacker posed ...... attacker receives +1 card except she uses her figure’s Live Points rather than Kill Points; Attacker fluttered ...... attacker receives -1 card if the attacker gets a higher result, the target takes one point of †ranged weapons only damage; otherwise, the target is unharmed. As you’ll see below we toss many additional modifiers such as weapon, terrain and Partial Cover is terrain such as grass and moss-hedges, and the movement modifiers into this process. These modifiers make partial line-of sight obstruction caused by another fairy. Hard combat more fun. We know they do, because if they didn’t cover, which cannot be fired through, is anything like a wall, fairies wouldn’t use them. glass window, or mushroom stem that covers at least 50% of the figure. (Use your best judgment here; if you don’t have any Note: A figure with only one card to defend with must use judgment whatsoever, flip a coin. If you don’t have a coin, go that card to defend, even if it’s that horrid little Ace of to a street corner and beg like a filthy urchin!) Spades card (described below). (Note- the author is just bitter ‘cause he’s broke from supporting numerous unsavory vices. -Dave) (They’re not that unsavory, really. -Scott) Nasty Hits If the attacker’s card (including support trumps) is higher than that of the defender by an amount greater than four, it’s Jokers! considered a Nasty Hit, and results in two points of damage, If either player uses a Joker in hand-to-hand combat, either the rather than one. If the attacker beats the defender by more attacker takes a point of damage, or the defender heals one than eight, the hit results in three points of damage. These point of meat. It’s up to the player who used the Joker. are hits that not only break the assaulted figure’s defense, but result in a nasty injury to boot. Ouch! If a Joker is used in a ranged attack, either the weapon misses or the weapon hits any other figure in the attacker’s line of sight, selected by the defending player. The One Card Rule If a figure is attacked, and it hasn’t yet taken its turn this round Taking Damage (it still had an Order Card at the time of attack), it always gets one extra card to defend with. It receives this card even if it has When a fairy takes a point as damage, the controlling player no Live Points, or if a weapon has reduced its number of defense moves a point, her choice of Live or Kill (or a combination cards to zero. if more than one point has been suffered), from the wounded fairy’s Fairy Points to her Meat Points. This means Multiple Attacks that, while she can no longer make use of the points, they’re still around to be digested after she’s dead. Move damaged Some weapons grant a figure more than one attack. These points (represented by the Live and Kill counters) from the attacks all come from the same hand of cards; the attacker Fairy half of the fairy’s Fairy Card to the Meat half. doesn’t draw her Kill again for each attack. Likewise, the defender must use the same hand of cards to defend against Summary of Combat all attacks. A figure that is capable of attacking more than one target in a turn may do so; so a bow that has two attacks 1.The attacker draws as many cards from the Fairy deck as can fire at two different figures in a single turn, or a sword she has Kill Points and the defender draws as many cards with two attacks may be used to attack two different figures. as she has Live Points (remember modifiers!). Simply divide the number of cards in the attacker’s hand into two different hands, however the attacker wishes. Also note 2.The attacker then selects one card with which to attack, that an attacker may choose to attack fewer than the number along with any trumps, and places it (or them) on the of attacks allowed by his or her weapon. table facedown.

Attack Modifiers 3.The defender selects one of her cards to defend and Weapons and Twinkle-enchantments modify places it on the table facedown, along with any trumps. the number of cards drawn by the attacker Note: If the defender has no cards to use, any of the and defender. This modifier is listed by enemy’s attacks automatically hit! the appropriate weapon or spell in the Weapon & Spell Lists. 4.The players flip over and reveal their selected cards. If the Attack Modifiers are bonuses defender’s card is equal to or higher than that of the applied to attackers who use attacker, no damage is dealt. If the defender’s card is lower,

12 the assailant has scored a hit, and the defender must lose Attack Ranges one point of her choice (either a Kill Point or a Live Point). Each ranged weapon also has a Range attribute. This is simply The slain point is then moved from the Life half of the how far, in inches, the weapon can fire; if the target is beyond figure’s card to the Meat half. this distance, she is out of range.

5.If the attacking figure has more than one attack (by virtue of The player must declare ranged attacks before measuring; a special weapon or a spell) the sequence continues from step fairies aren’t amazingly good at judging distance. two on. In other words, cards are only drawn ONCE and all attacks are generated from that single draw of cards Ranged weapons cannot be used to hit targets less than one (likewise, the defender may only defend with her single draw inch away. That’s what knives are for, silly! of cards). Special Weapons Ranged Attacks For the fairy with specific needs, we offer several kinds of Combat with ranged weapons (guns, magic wands, bows and special hand-to-hand weapons. Weapons that have special the like) is a bit different from normal “hand-to-hand” attributes, such as those listed below, are noted as such in the fighting. There are only two differences, listed below. weapon descriptions.

Ranged Weapons Riot Weapons Ranged weapons are listed with a strength attribute. This Riot weapons are hand-to-hand weapons that are small and weapon strength is how many cards the attacking figure draws. light enough to use in extremely close quarters. Unlike normal Ranged weapons always draw a number of cards equal to their weapons, a fairy may use Riot weapons when Wrestling. Strength, regardless of how many Kill Points the attacker has. If a figure uses a Riot weapon to make a non-Wrestling attack, The defender draws her Live Points, as with normal attacks. she suffers a -1 card modifier.

Swords Swords are a bit more powerful than most close weapons, being able to carve wide gashes in a fairy’s soft sylvan flesh. Still, any sword is well met by another sword. If the attacker has a sword and the defender does not, the attacker gets one extra card. If both figures have swords, the defender can parry, and so the attacker loses this bonus.

Manglers Certain weapons, like explosives, chainsaws and such, actually destroy meat by splattering it all over or charring it, reducing its potency to a useless degree. We call these weapons Manglers, because they mangle most things they touch. Points removed as a result of damage from these weapons are wholly removed from the game, rather than becoming meat. Mangle is a silly word. Mangle mangle mangle!

Wrestling If one fairy successfully rushes another, as described above in the movement section, place both figures lying on their sides next to each other, ‘cause the two are considered to be wrestling. Kinky!

Such entangled figures are rolling upon the ground, fighting at each other’s throats. Combat between wrestling fairies is measured using only the Kill Points, without taking weapons into account. (Note that Riot weapons can be used in wrestling, as described above.)

First, the Attacker selects a target. The attacker and defender

13 then each draw their Kill Points, and the figure with the frenzy is permanent, slowly drawing her into madness and lowest result takes damage, as usual. In case of a tie, both eventually death. Because it hurts, and because most fairies figures take one point of damage! Rawr! instinctively know that it’s a one-way ticket to mindlessness, it’s always a last resort. Wrestling Bonuses The attacker in Wrestling (the fairy whose turn it is) always Eating Meat gets an extra card. Also, when a fairy charges into another, the Why-ever are the fairies killing each other? For meat, of force of the impact entitles her to one extra attack card during course. There’s good eating on a fairy, especially if you’re a fairy the ensuing wrestling that turn, should she choose to attack her as well. new friend. This is the Rush Bonus. When a fairy dies, the magic that fueled it so well in life The More, the Merrier! resides in the corpse for a short while after death. Any fairy may join in on the wrestling by moving up next to Consuming the meat from such a body doesn’t do much for, the involved figures and saying, “I’m gonna wrassle!” Place the say, a rabid squirrel. But when the carnivore in question is figure on its side with the others. born of fairy-stock, the corpse’s energy merges with that of the consumer! The flesh magically dissolves into oblivion Escaping the Brawl within the chambers of her belly, and she obtains the power If a fairy makes a successful attack in Wrestling, instead of dwelling within the meat of the carcass that lay before her. doing damage, she may opt to leave the brawl. She can then Side effects include stomachaches and minor flatulence. move out of Wrestling however she chooses, including pouncing back in. Although it takes time for one fairy to ingest another bite by bite, the effects of consumption are immediate enough to Outside Interference use on the battlefield. Here are the rules for engaging in such a meal in the midst of a fairy skirmish. Should an outside figure decide to attack a fairy who is in the wrestling pile, it may do so. The wrestling fairy is less able to avoid getting hit in such an attack, being otherwise engaged at Eat Them Up, Yum! the moment, and so loses one card from her defense hand. But, if a target involved in wrestling successfully defends herself Eating a fellow against one or more close-combat attacks from an uninvolved fairy is not a fairy, she can grab the attacking fairy and pull her into the complicated mess! The fairy is then tangled up in the wrestling herself.

Jokers! If either player uses a Joker in wrestling, the fairies make eye contact and experience one of those awkward moments (you know how that is). Neither fairy deals any damage, as they pause for a moment to evaluate the nature of their relation- ship. Ah, love...

Mad about Meat - Frenzy Normally, an acting fairy may only make an attack if she has Kill Points left. If she has only Live Points left, then after moving, she may (reluctantly) give in to her dark side and be overtaken by a meat-frenzy. This converts all her Live Points into Kill Points! However, the frenzy is not reversible: a fairy can’t turn Kill Points into Live Points. If a frenzied fairy is within 12” of a fairy corpse, she cannot resist feeding, and must head towards the body and eat as much as she can. She may not fire at others while eating. Also, any Live Points eaten by a frenzied fairy become Kill Points.

A fairy cannot frenzy if she has at least one Kill Point. Besides being exquisitely painful, a meat-

14 affair. When a fairy eats a bit of another (dead) fairy, one point a wrestling pit is considered to be perpetually fighting, and from the dead fairy’s Meat Points (consumer’s choice of one simply doesn’t have the time for spells! Live or one Kill Point – Twinkle points are NOT meat, they are removed when a fairy dies) goes directly to the feasting When a fairy casts a spell, the player moves a number of fairy’s Fairy Points. Now the dead fairy’s total Meat Points Twinkle Points equal to the spell’s cost from the Life half of decreases by one, and the living fairy’s Fairy Points increases by the card to the Meat half. A fairy can regenerate these in subse- one. Once all of the Meat Points on the deceased are gone, the quent turns by spending trumps. player removes her dead fairy’s figure from the board, with just about all of its precious meat having been eaten. Later, the Fairies cannot share Twinkle Points with other fairies, even if victors may return to gnaw on the bones or suck the marrow. they really like each other. However, this is a slow (albeit delicious!) process and thus has no game effect. Targets A spell may target either the casting fairy, or any fairy to Mealtime Manners which a straight, unobstructed line can be drawn from the For one fairy to eat another, the consumer in question must be caster. The caster needn’t be facing her target, though. in contact with the ready-to-eat corpse (if you like, imagine Partial Cover does not block spells. that the fallen fairy is still squirming a little). Zapping A fairy can take a bite instead of moving or attacking, or By using her own Twinkle to blow away another fairy’s both (take two bites). An eating fairy may not Twinkle Twinkle, a fairy can Zap another into losing magic. This pisses (Twinkling is described below). Each bite takes one Meat fairies off, and has tactical value as well! Point off the carcass. To Zap a fairy’s Twinkle, the acting player must spend trumps in the same way used to regain Twinkle. For every two trumps Twinkling spent, you can Zap one point of the enemy’s Twinkle. The When fairies use magic, little pinpoints of light glimmer Zapped Twinkle Point falls from the Life half of the card to the around them, making them sparkle and shimmer with Meat half. Even if a fairy has no Twinkle Points left, she can colorful, flickering stars. They call this “Twinkling”. Fairies still use any trumps she gets to Zap another fairy. The Zapping can Twinkle from the moment they’re born, and they become takes place after the concerned fairies have declared how many better able to Twinkle as they increase in age and get more trumps they will use to regain Twinkle. energy from committing murder a few times. Any fairy can Zap any other; line of sight is not necessary. Twinkle Points Fairy brains generate Twinkle Points through action and Who Casts What violence, developing in an excited Fairy’s brain during combat. There are two different styles of Twinkle magic: Sweet and Casting fairy-spells requires the expenditure of these Twinkle Mean. Each fairy may have only one style, reflecting the mood Points. These are wholly separate from Live or Kill Points. her magic-gland is usually in. A fairy may cast any spells They can be regenerated, and they cannot be gained from within her style of Twinkle, but she may not cast any spells eating another fairy. belonging to a different style.

When players draw cards during combat, before placing any Fairies pick their styles of Twinkling, in the same way they pick cards on the table (including jokers, which are played face- their weapons, at the beginning of the game. The Spell Lists down like any other attack or defense card), the players may are located near the Fairy and Weapon Lists later in this book. discard any trumps they receive during any draw to charge up the fairy involved with Twinkle Points. Each trump is worth Jokers! one Twinkle Point. The player moves regenerated Twinkle If a player casts a spell that requires the drawing of cards by Points from the Meat half of the card to the Life half. The fairy either fairy, the opportunity exists for a Joker to come up. may not gain more Twinkle Points than are already on the card. When a Joker is drawn because of a spell, the spell is cancelled, and the target fairy acts as if it just cast the Also, a fairy may pause for a moment and reminisce about spell (draw the cards again). some violent deed she once performed; this can get her worked up enough to regain one Twinkle Point. This is done instead of attacking! Treachery It’s not unusual for one fairy to violently end her friendship with Casting Spells another. Times can be tough, A fairy may cast a spell at the beginning or end of her turn. and survival is usually at the top Unless otherwise stated in the spell’s description, a fairy cannot of a fairy’s priority list. cast spells when engaged in wrestling. A fairy who is caught in

15 enemy grip and may If a player decides to proceed to drag the have one of her figures meat wherever it likes, attack another one of her unless there’s another figure other figures, another player (the who wants to play Tug-Tug next. one with the next highest Order Card on the table) immediately assumes control of the defending figure for the rest of the RRRRIP! game. If there are no players with Order If the dragging figure wins, the resisting figure Cards left in the current round, the can opt to make a violent ripping motion away attacking player may choose who gets from the enemy tugger, tearing the corpse in two control. and getting blood everywhere in the process.

Grave-Robbing To do this, she simply initiates an If the players agree, instead of eating a immediate second round of point of meat, a figure may steal a Tug-Tug. If she wins or even weapon from a fallen figure’s ties, the body is ripped in mortal coil. A fairy can only half. The total Meat Points hold two weapons at once, are divided and distributed though. If the stolen weapon as evenly as possible between gives her three, she must leave the two figures. If the one of her own weapons on the number of Live or Kill Points corpse. Another figure can then is odd, any extra points go to the steal this weapon, in exactly the figure with the most active Kill Points same way. (the strongest).

Tug-Tug! After the poor corpse has been It’s not uncommon for a feeding mutilated by this grisly division, the fairy to try to drag the meat tugging figure is free to carry its half somewhere else, perhaps to her of the corpse away (use a counter for mates or a safe dining area. And it’s the new separate bundle of meat), not uncommon for other fairies, unless there’s another figure who who happen to be feeding on the wants to play. A new Tug-Tug same corpse, to decide they’d prefer commences, and the freshly fractured it if their meat didn’t go anywhere. charnel chunk of fairy-flesh might Such disagreements result in a fun then get torn in half again... (and often messy) game of Tug-Tug! Jokers! When a fairy opts to drag her meal somewhere, any enemy If either player uses a Joker during Tug-Tug, the corpse is incred- figure who hasn’t acted yet this round and is touching the ibly slippery with fairy-blood, causing the figures to lose their corpse can try to prevent the thievery of the meat by playing respective grips and fall on their backs. The meat goes nowhere, Tug-Tug. If more than one figure is opposing the dragging but all figures involved move 1” away from the carcass. away of the body, each player should draw a card to find who gets to resist first (highest goes first). Gnomes Players resolve Tug-Tug just like a single attack of wrestling combat, using only Kill Points. The contest is based solely Playing with Gnomes on the strength of the figures involved, and so any weapons Playing the gnomes is very similar to playing a pack of fairies. the figures may have do not affect the number of cards The main differences are: used. Note that no figures get hurt in a game of Tug-Tug. No living ones, anyway. Gnomes can’t fly, unless you throw them. (They really hate that!) If the resisting figure wins or even ties, it has held on tight, and the body isn’t Gnomes have no Kill or Twinkle points by themselves. Only going anywhere just yet. If the their weapons (Gear) have Kill points, in the form of dragging figure wins, it has Strength points. Hand-to-hand combat is a difficult pulled the corpse free of any problem for gnomes, as well.

16 A gnome gains two Order cards during a combat round and Shimmy- has access to plenty of equipment. Think of a gnome as a The gnome strides forward a mighty 4” in any direction, one-man band. turning as many times as he likes. There is a -1 attack modifier for all attacks a shimmying gnome cares to make. Gnomes can eat meat, but it doesn’t intoxicate or strengthen them at all. Digesting enough of it does take its toll on their A gnome can walk over any obstacle 2” or less in height. sanity, over time. Note that gnomes don’t move as slowly as the speeds above Gnomes are challenging and strange contenders on the battle- make them seem to; they can move twice per turn, remember! field, and will make games of Fairy Meat a lot more interesting. For the full lowdown on running with gnomes, read on... Because the method of motility affects a gnome’s ability to fight, the gnome’s speed must be declared at the beginning of each of the gnome’s turns, as usual. Order Cards While gnomes can’t get around as quickly as other members of the Little Kingdom, their brains are lightning-fast, even Gnomes in Combat compared to most humans. To reflect this, a gnome gets two Hand-to-Hand Order cards per round. He may move on both of these cards. Gnomes are remarkably poor at hand-to-hand combat. It’s not that they all lack coordination or balance, although they are For example, a gnome can move two inches (waddle) on his staggeringly drunk from time to time. It’s just that they just first Order card and four inches (shimmy) on the next. In this don’t have the muscle for it, and they swing about as slowly as case, the gnome would have no attack modifier for attacks a mummy in a tub of glue. made on his first order card, and a -1 card attack modifier for attacks made on his second order card. The only way a gnome can muster up enough spit to fight it out in close combat is to stand still, and use the kill thus As usual, the gnome player must declare the gnome’s rate of obtained. Otherwise, he must buy a Clockwork Arm. movement before moving or attacking on each card! Armor A gnome can attack (or perform an action) on each one of his two turns. Their gait may be plodding, but their trigger- All gnomes wear armor to battle. Armor-craft is a practiced art fingers can twitch like the wind. among gnomes; even their belts and suspenders are made of puncture-proof hide. Beneath their rough, patchy clothing, Movement and sometimes outside it, they wear a painstakingly assembled second skin of augmented leather and brass, which also helps For the stout gnomes, flight is a dangerous desire; while quite support their heavy mechanical limbs and gadgets. a few gnome-lifting contraptions have been attempted at various points in Gnomic history, catastrophe has often been Gnomes, like fairies, defend by drawing their Live points in the result. This is largely due to the fact that the mayhem- cards. Unlike fairies, however, they get a bonus based on how loving gremlins have a special love for any flying machines with much armor they wear. A gnome may draw one extra defense people inside, and no amount of bribery can keep the green card for every point of armor he has. A gnome with two points bastards away from propellers and wings in any reliable sense. of Armor draws two extra defense cards, while three points of armor grants him three extra defense cards, and so on. So it is that gnomes, like brownies, must rely on their own two feet (or one foot and a peg sometimes) to get about. Each turn, When to Damage Armor a gnome may use one of the following forms of movement: Armor points aren’t live points; if an armored gnome takes Wait- damage, that damage is taken to his Live points. A gnome The gnome stays in place, but may pivot where he stands. without Live points is very much dead, no matter how much This gives the gnome a +1 card attack bonus while he is armor he has on! waiting. This is also the only way an unarmed gnome can get an attack card. Damage from jokers and magical attacks, however, always damages armor before Live points. I don’t know why; it just does. Waddle- The gnome hobbles forward 2” in any direction, turning as Wrestling many times as he likes. There is no attack modifier for this move. Gnomes never wrestle. They don’t wrestle with each other, and they certainly don’t wrestle with anyone else. That sort of thing just isn’t natural, see?

17 Magic number of attack cards up between the number of attacks, Gnomes aren’t very magic-responsive. Attack spells, such as however he pleases. See? Just like a hand-to-hand weapon. Rose Prick and Corkscrew, work on them just fine; beneficial spells, or spells which do things like “restrict wing movement”, These multiple attacks can have different targets, too, so long as have no effect whatsoever. each target is still within the attacker’s firing arc. Have fun, kids!

If you’re in doubt about whether or not a spell affects a gnome, Gnomes without Legs consider what the spell does. If it creates a deadly lightning Many gnomes, over the course of time, find themselves prey to bolt, it’ll work on a gnome. If it ties the enemy’s antennae crippling diseases and war wounds. A gnome who is left together, sorry! It’s probably not a gnome thing. without a leg because of this (not an uncommon occurrence in gnome life) will simply scoff at the thought of any such barrier Jokers! to progress, and immediately set about to make himself a peg- When Jokers come up in hand-to-hand combat and are leg or a Clockwork Leg. subsequently used to hurt or heal gnomes, the result is always applied to his armor. This can not be used to increase A Clockwork Leg reduces the gnome’s shimmying speed to 3”, a gnome’s armor points above their original value. If the whereas a simple Peg Leg halves all movement for the gnome. gnome doesn’t have any armor, the damage goes to his Live points, as usual. Clockwork Legs are heavy, complicated things which typically require further amputation and replace quite a lot Gear of living flesh; some have mechanical parts which extend all Gnomes carry about a number of devices, magical clockwork the way into the gnome’s abdomen. For this reason, a contraptions of their own design. These are called Gear, and Clockwork Leg comes at the price of one Live point. On the consist of all Gnomic weapons, artificial limbs, and the buzzing plus side, the poor Gnome gets to add one armor point and Clock-Fairies. Gear is considered to be either Component or will probably be the envy of all other Gnomes who use old- Autonomous. fashioned, natural legs.

Component gear is the sort that gnomes personally use, such as Special Weapons guns, limbs, and the like. Gnomes use these to attack, walk, Cannons and so on. Larger and heavier than normal guns, cannon weapons fire heavy, powerful rounds, which are, needless to say, much more Autonomous gear is wound up before the fight, and operates all dangerous than regular bullets. on its own, with its own order card. In this category lie the Clock-Fairies and Hatbots, although more will be discussed in Cannons cause an extra point of damage when they hit, and later books. they always knock the target back by the value of the attack card in inches, whether they scored a Nasty hit or just a Only autonomous gear can be attacked; attacking a gun is silly, regular hit. when you think about it. The exception to this is the destruc- tive ability of gremlins, described later, which can indeed break Using Flamers anything made by intelligent hands! Candlejets and Torcheons belong to a lovable family of killing machines known as Flamers. Such weapons attack every target Gear and Modifiers within a certain range, regardless of how many targets that is. Gear, unlike gnomes and fairies, never benefits from the One Card Rule (the only exceptions to this are mechanical creatures, such as the Clock-Fairies, who receive their own Order cards).

Component Gear is subject to attack modifiers for movement and such, so if a gnome stands still, his component Gear gets a +1 attack bonus.

A Note on Automatic Weapons An observant little gnome might notice that this book contains rules for ranged weapons with multiple attacks, a phenomenon which was not a concern in the main rulebook. For the purposes of clarity, we will review a bit here.

Ranged weapons with multiple attacks are operated just as any other multiple-attack weapon. The attacker simply divides the

18 To determine whom a flamer hits, place the Flamer Template weapons for fairies, although gnomes generally have much (included within this book) directly in front of the attacking more equipment. They aren’t designed for combat the way gnome, with the pointy bit touching the gnome. The flamer fairy-folk are, and rely on their mechanical knacks for can be turned in any direction, even to the side, so long as the support on the battlefield. point is touching the front of the firing figure. The first step is to make up some background for the gnomes A figure that is standing in front of the template’s wider end you’re using. Like fairies and circles, gnomes are all part of may be in danger of getting burned. This area of effect some science club, or are clandestine Krimtip operatives. continues to expand beyond the actual flamer template. At least 50% of a figure must be in the flamer arc in order to be Naming your Figures affected by the attack. Otherwise, the figure is not affected. Gnome names are a funny thing; most gnomes name The illustration below illustrates who is affected by such an themselves when they are rather young, and most often pick attack, with a range of six inches: nonsense words that are meant to sound menacing and guttural. Names like “Grunkrunkel” and “Klangratchet” are good examples. The town of the gnome’s club, if he’s in one, makes up a surname, as in “Boltfondle Halifax” or “Gripperjaw Mechanicsburg”.

Krimtips publicly use their Gnomic names, but when they’re on the job, they operate under their secret codenames. These are usually human names, with an adjective in front. Examples include “Dreadful John,” “Greasy Richard,” or “Filthy Ol’ Pronsias.” One very notorious Krimtip, allegedly the leader, calls himself “Bloody Geoffrey.”

Gremlins have names, but they’re usually a mess of piping squeak noises, like “Squikpipskisqueetitterskipskawee,” and are as irritating as they are unpronounceable. Feel free to call them something else, like “Thing One,” “Thing Two,” and so on. Flamer weapons have ranges, just like any other gun. For example, the Candlejet, which has a 6-inch range, will not Clock-fairies sometimes hang on to their old Fairy names, but affect any target more than six inches away from the pointy tip usually rename themselves with silly variations, like of the Flamer card. “Shimmerbot” (formerly Shimmerbits) and the rather embar- rassing “Giggletron One Jillion” (once known as Flamer Damage Moongiggle).* A flamer weapon attacks everybody that gets touched, even partially, by the flamer’s area of effect. These are attacks by the * Choosing a new name like this is enormous fun for fairies. fire itself, and are not subject to movement modifiers. Part of the fun is watching how much it annoys the rather humorless gnomes, who then have to fight alongside the likes of Each target hit by a flamer is individually attacked. So, if three “Cybertulip” or “Robo-Puff”. fairies are attacked by a Torcheon (strength 2), each one suffers her very own 2-card attack. Putting a Gnome Together Grave Robbing Gnomes A gnome war band must include at least one gnome. All Most gnomic weapons, mainly those built for use by gnomes, gnomes start out using the same basic gnome, without any cannot be used by fairies. If you and your mates use the Grave Gear. This ugly and unequipped fellow costs 11 points, Robbing rules, remember that gnomes make their personal and has five live points. weapons complicated and heavy. Adding Armor So it is that only other gnomes can salvage any of the weapons The next step is to give the gnome armor. A and gadgets on the Gnome lists. A fairy could spend a whole gnome without armor is very vulnerable, game just figuring out how to pick one up, let alone how to use and gnomes aren’t often drunk enough to it! And remember, grave robbing is a meat eating equivalent march into battle without good protec- action. tion (though they sometimes do). Armor is bought point by point; Creating a Gnome Team each point of Armor costs 2 Just like a Fairy war band, a gnomic force must be put together points. A Gnome may have a using force points. This is largely the same as choosing maximum of 5 points of Armor..

19 Arming the Gnome also include Clock-Fairies and Gremlins, which are described Next, select the gnome’s weapons. A gnome may have up to below, but must include at least one gnome. two hand-held firearms. The gnome may also have up to two hand-to-hand weapons, either held like swords or fixed onto Keep in mind that a Gnome team is considered out of action the guns as bayonets. if all of the gnomes on it are killed. Even if there are gremlins or clock-fairies left to fight the battle, their obligations to the Any weapons that aren’t hand-held (Pipe Bombs, Trick Hats, gnomic cause die with their gnome masters. and the like) may be purchased in addition to the two firearms and two hand weapons. Gremlins

An individual gnome never goes into battle with more than Gremlins aren’t as vicious as they might appear to, say, a piece one of any model of weapon; it isn’t conducive to field- of very cowardly lettuce. testing all of his workshops’ products, see? No, your average gremlin is as yellow as a beaver tooth, and as a result, a gremlin never makes personal attacks on enemies unless someone in that battle attacked him Clockwork first. Once a gremlin has been attacked, though, the Parts gloves are off. This excludes Gear, which they always A Gnome may love to bash with their magic wrenches! purchase clock- work legs and Gremlins aren’t very arms, at the bright. They don’t price of have order cards, replacing one and always move at Live point with the end of the an Armor point. round. If there are This is a good way to get other figures which more Gear, but it also also move at the end shortens a Gnome’s lifespan of the round, or if by quite a bit! more than one player has gremlins, draw As you might guess, a gnome cards to see who moves can only equip himself with up their figures first. to two clockwork arms and two clockwork legs. Three- Killing Gremlins legged gnomes are allowed, A Gremlin has one lousy but they have too much Kill point. trouble walking to leave the house, and never show up to Gremlins are ether-based, which the game. means the only way to hurt one is to make a successful magical attack against it Clockwork Parts are (gremlins always get one and only one card to detailed in the Gear lists. defend against such attacks), or to burn one They have no cost, except the (simply attacking it with a Candlejet or other one live point that is taken away. explosive, which obliterates it immediately). They are immune to damage from Jokers. There are other ether-based creatures Peg Legs that follow this rule, but we’ll get to them later. Gnomes with Peg Legs are often embarrassed by how stumpy their leg is, and they usually compensate by getting a bigger gun. A Gremlin is armed with a Magic Wrench and those good old Gremlin Teeth. A gnome may be inflicted with a peg leg; such a gnome gets 10 extra points of equipment. Remember, such a gnome has his Oh, and gremlins never attack other gremlins. it just isn’t movement halved! done, see?

...On to his mates! Movement A Gnome team can include any number of Gnomes, as long as Gremlins bound like little bunnies; they can move up to six the total number of force-points doesn’t exceed the maximum inches each turn, hopping over any obstacles four inches high amount the players have decided upon. A Gnome team may or less.

20 Bashing Haunting A gremlin’s magic Wrench acts as an unmodifiable 2-card Gremlins often follow gnomes around for fun. After all, attack against armor and weapons, but is useless against living they’ve got so much neat stuff to smash! Gnomes really hate it, things. Whack! too, which is double fun.

When a Gremlin attacks a non-gear weapon (such as most fairy For every twenty-five points of Gear a gnome player brings to weapons), the weapon draws its Attack Modifier minus its battle, one wild gremlin will be attracted to the area. All Defend modifier to defend. If it’s a missile weapon, it draws its gremlins attracted in such a manner are used by the player who Strength minus its Live modifier to defend. goes first (usually the one with the highest order card) at the beginning of each round. So, a Moon Dagger (No Kill modifier minus -2 Live modifier) has 2 points to defend with, while a Chaingun (4 Strength Grave-robbing Gremlins minus -1 live modifier) draws 5 cards to defend. When a gremlin is killed, it typically makes a loud popping sound, and becomes a skeleton in a wisp of green smoke. The If the weapon does not successfully defend against the hit, Wrench, however, is still there. it’s smashed, and becomes nothing but a broken piece of what it was before. The fragmentary remains may still be What most people don’t know is that the gremlin, which was used as a weapon, though; treat this broken bit as a crummy never much more than a ghost to begin with, is actually in the old Fairy Knife. wrench. Once it’s regained its strength, which can take a year or more, it’ll pop back out again! The Wrench’s attack is unaffected by protective spells. It is also not affected by attack modifiers unless used by someone other Until then (if you’re using the grave-robbing rules), the wrench than a gremlin. Wrenches do not work on gremlin teeth or may be picked up and used by anyone! The skeleton also other natural, non-handmade weapons. contains two Gremlin Teeth.

Jokers! When not wielded by a Gremlin, the Wrench continues to If a player draws a Joker to defend against a wrench attack, the possess a two-card attack against non-living matter, as wrench misses entirely. described above. Modifiers affect this number, though. Gremlins Attacking Armor Clock Fairies When a Gremlin attacks armor, the armor defends itself with as many cards as it has armor points. All resulting damage Beneath it all, a clock-fairy is still a fairy. They move, fight, applies only to the armor, and not to anyone who might be wrestle, and twinkle just like fairies. There’s a lot of wearing it! advantages to being a clock-fairy, too, the biggest of which is looking really cool. The guns and Note that no one ever gets knocked back from an attack armor are a bonus, too. against weapons or armor; the gremlin isn’t really attacking the enemy, only her weapons!

Employing Gremlins Gremlins care little for the business of others, and never fight battles on their own. A gnome player can use them, but if all the gnomes die, they run away, probably to an appliance store or something.

21 There are a couple drawbacks, though. With their living Grave Robbing Clock-Fairies bodies gone, clock-fairies have neither the magical punch nor Clock-fairies have lots of neat toys and trinkets that are conve- the appetite of their former selves. A “clock” may eat meat, but niently fairy-sized. It’s understandable, then, that fairies loot may never have more than four Live or Kill points on the Fairy their bodies for weapons as often as for meat. section of her card at any time.* Clock fairies start with 3 Kill If you like to use the Grave-Robbing optional rule, note that points and 4 Armor points. some of a clock’s weapons cannot be stolen. Some weapons, such as the Machine Gun Arm, are listed as being Integral. * A clock-fairy has no internal organs, and can only be said to Integral means that it’s built onto the clock-fairy’s body, and “eat” like a certain cookie-loving monster “eats” his cookies. Very cannot be removed by anyone. messy. Rogue Clocks As far as Twinkle goes, the most any clock fairy can When a gnome dies, some of the have is one point, with spells from any fairy spell very few that notice are his list. Even if her body personal retinue of clock- still resonates fairies. This is the usual with magic, most way in which clocks are liber- of it is buried in a ated, freed from the threat of landfill somewhere, and remote-controlled shutdown. isn’t of much use to her head. Such fairies usually go back to doing what they did before, which is mainly running With only one Twinkle point, around and killing things with their mates. clock fairies are limited to the Of course, they’re also a real time-saver to following two spells depending on any gnome who’s running low on clock-fairy what style of magic they weald. parts... Sweet Magic: Wind up – “Winds up” a fairy giving her a little boost of wing power. The target fairy A Fairy player may use such “rogue” gains 4” of extra movement clock-fairies on her team, if she likes. (and altitude) on its next The cost for rogue clock-fairies move. Mean magic: Wing remains the same, but they run Bind – Tightens the the risk of running out of muscles in a fairy’s ammo. back, restricting the wing movement. Halves Ammunition target fairy’s movement One hardship such rogue Infamous rogue clocks face is the scant supply and altitude on its next turn. clock-fairy, “Seven-’til-Nine” of ammunition lying around in the wild. With gnomes keeping them ship-shape, they never had to worry about Using Clock-Fairies running low on bullets before, and most of them eventually Though they might resent it, clock-fairies are simply cope by hunting down other clocks simply for bullets, which weapons of gnomes, and are purchased just like Gear for use they value almost as much as meat. in any Gnome team. If a rogue clock-fairy uses a Deuce for her Order card, she’s run Rogue clocks, detailed below, prefer to fight alongside each out of bullets on the ranged Gear of her choice. other or other fairies. But they might even tolerate the presence of a pixie on their team. They are purchased as usual, Reloading just like regular fairies, for use in fairy war bands. Clocks have lots of gun experience, and know where a gun’s bullets are located. If a clock-fairy runs out of bullets, she can Choosing Weapons reload by getting next to a fallen friend or foe (anyone with a A clock-fairy that’s fighting alongside gnomes may pick any gun, such as a clock-fairy or gnome), and “stealing” her ammo. weapons from the clock-fairy section of the Weapons List in This works just like eating meat; once all of the fallen figure’s the back of this book. weapons have been emptied, there are no more bullets to be had. So, a dead clock-fairy with two such weapons can supply A rogue clock-fairy may choose weapons from both the enough ammo to reload two guns. Note that salvaging ammo clock-fairy weapons list and the regular fairy list from the in this fashion works with integral guns, as well! But Cannons main rulebook. and Flamers use different ammo, and cannot be looted in the fashion.

22 More on Reloading These rules apply to any fairy war band, including the varieties (Optional Rule) of Fairy-Folk to be released later on, such as Moon-Fairies. It The standard ammunition rule is intended to keep things also applies to fairy war bands that include some abnormal simple. Ordinarily, gnomes never have to worry about little characters, such as clock-fairies and pixies. things like having enough ammo. They have closets full of the stuff! It is assumed that any gnome worth his salt carries plenty of ammo into a battle. But for those of you who like to keep The Gnome Lists track of such things, we recommend the following rules. Gnome 11 Points Each gun in the weapons list includes a clip size and Live 5 ammunition caliber or type. This indicates how many Gets 2 Action cards attacks the weapon may be used for before it needs to be reloaded and the type of ammunition it must be reloaded Movement Speed Altitude Att. Mod. with. The first clip is free, and is included in the cost of the Wait 0” 2” +1 weapon. When building armies, extra ammunition clips can Waddle 2” 2” 0 be purchased for 1/4 point. All figures may carry up to 8 Shimmy 4” 2” -1 extra clips. Reloading most clips is an eating equivalent action. Reloading a clip that holds 24 rounds takes two eating equivalent actions. Gremlin 4 Points Kill 1 A Note on Heat-Packin’ Fairies Ethereal- only killed by magic and fire The appeal of guns and chainsaws to non-clock fairies should be Movement Speed Altitude Att. Mod. quite obvious, and as you can expect, such devices sometimes Hop 6” 4” 0 end up in their wicked little hands. This is a rare occurrence, though it still happens too often for a gnome’s liking. Clock-Fairy 8 Points Kill 3 Because of the difficulty in obtaining (and maintaining) such Armor 4 devices, we say that a Fairy war band may only contain one Twinkle 1 Clock-Fairy weapon (pistols and such) for every fifty force points, including the cost of that weapon. Clock-fairies may also be purchased for use in Fairy War bands, as Rogue Clocks. So, if a player wanted to add a pistol to her 50-point war band, she could simply work up to a total of 42 points of fairies and Movement Speed Altitude Att. Mod. fairy-weapons, and then buy an 8-point Silver Pistol. A 40-point Pose 0” 0” +1 war band could not buy any weapons from the Clock-Fairy List, Frolic 6” 6” 0 and a 100-point war band could buy two such weapons. Flutter 12” 3” -1 Pounce 3” 12” 0

23 Gnome Gear List Clockwork Leg- Kicker Model (Cost: 1 Live point, Armor replaced by 1 armor point) Armor is an essential for any battle-minded gnome. And at two points apiece, you’d be crazy not to get some! A gnome The Kicker is a leg with a powerful servo in the thigh which, may have up to five points of armor, not including any armor when triggered through subtle muscular motions from its points that result from Clockwork Limbs. owner, can punt an enemy into the air like a bloody football! For this to work, the target has to be of “fairy size” (pixies, gremlins, and brownies also count), and right up next to the Gnomic Gadgets kicking gnome. While the guns gnomes use are of chief concern in a game like this, they do invent other things from time to time. The kick inflicts a 2-card Refrigerators and alcohol have no place on the battlefield*, attack on the target though, so we will here take a look at some of the gnomic (subject to modifiers, as devices that do. usual); if the attack is successful, in addition to * Unless, of course, you’re a leperchaun… the damage (including nasty hits if applicable), The Gadgets listed below are purchased just like Gear, and the enemy is kicked each takes an action to use, just like a weapon. Unless directly away from the otherwise specified, none of them are hand-held, so a gnome, in the direction of gnome with an Aerohat can still have two guns. Also, with the gnome’s facing. This the exception of clockwork parts and grenades, a gnome takes the enemy twelve can only take one of each gadget. Unlike many of our dear inches away, over any readers, gnomes seldom smoke two pipes at once! obstacles twelve inches or less in height. Wham!

Clockwork Leg- Stomper Model (Cost: 1 Live point, replaced by one Armor point)

The Stomper, while not as complicated as the Kicker, is often much more fun. A flexible set of double-axle joints at the thigh and knee allow a gnome to position the leg’s spiked, oversized boot right over a smaller enemy’s head. This can then be used to stomp on the enemy, which makes a delightful crunching noise!

Clockwork Arm (Cost: 1 Live point, replaced by 1 armor To get stomped, an enemy must point) be directly next to the stomping Developed to give the gnomes some meager ability in hand- gnome, and must be of fairy to-hand combat, the Clockwork Arm grants a gnome arms size. The gnome may then that have physical strength, as well as a reaction time almost make a stomp attack, which is a as fast as his brain. Almost. 1-card attack (it’s not hard to dodge a stomping gnome); if The Clockwork Arm effectively gives a gnome two Kill successful, the attack does points, and enables him to use hand-to-hand weapons as well. double damage. Squish! These Kill points do not actually figure into a gnome’s own points; they are an immaterial bonus granted by the Arm, and Aerohat (Cost: 3 points. A thus cannot be taken as damage. So, a gnome with a gnome can wear only one Clockwork Arm is still dead without his Live points. Hat.) The Aerohat is the closest any A Clockwork Arm can only use one hand-to-hand weapon; if Gnome comes to flying. It’s a a gnome wishes to use two hand-to-hand weapons, he must set of propellers on a spring motor, all neatly packed into purchase two Arms. However, each arm lends its strength an inconspicuous hat, which is itself strapped very securely only to attacks made with the weapon it holds. So using two on to the gnome’s head. The spring is incredibly tightly clockwork arms with only one sword will not give the Gnome wound, and winding it usually takes a half hour. It’s no four extra Kill points. easy task, either; the clock assistant stuck with the job of winding can get chopped in half if she slips!

24 destroys the poor thing instantly. Kablooey! Note that this When triggered, the Aerohat will counts as mangle damage to those affected by the blast. carry the Gnome up to 12 inches in any direction, up to The hatbot has one Live point and one armor point, and 12 inches in the air. This is in explodes if attacked and killed. addition to any hobbling around the gnome does on Jokers! If a player draws a Joker to defend against an the ground. Whoosh! exploding Hatbot, she takes no damage (duck and cover!) and may heal either one Live or Kill point if possible. The Aerohat is spring is unwound after a Faecide Fogger (Cost: 6 points) single use, and so only This is essentially a bug fogger, tightly stuffed with the evil works once per battle. black smoke that fills a Faecide forge. The stuff is noxious and rank, and makes any fairy choke and gag as it menacingly seeks out a special place in their lungs. Hatbot (Cost: 4 points. A gnome can only wear one Hat.) The Hatbot is perhaps the strangest of gnome creations; it’s Once used, place a Faecide Cloud counter directly in front certainly the weirdest hat around, at any rate. It’s a robotic of the gnome. This counter represents the middle of the hat, containing a brain plucked from a fairy who’s too mad cloud. The cloud extends 6” out from the center of to be of any other use, and filled with explosives. The the counter, in all directions. Any fairy within device is removed from atop the gnome’s head, placed this cloud (measure before making an attack) is on the ground, and switched on. It then swiftly at a -1 penalty for all Kill draws, as they’re a scuttles forward on two little legs, trying to get as bit distracted by an urge to vomit. Note that close to enemies as possible, until its internal this does not affect gnomes, clocks, gremlins, timer or a collision tells it to explode. or Sheriff Andy but Aunt Bea is affected. Also, any ranged attack with a line of fire Once deployed, place a Hatbot counter next going into, through, or coming to the gnome. Immediately after each out of the cloud (whether fired following turn (of whoever the by a fairy or not) suffers a -1 player taking the turn is), the card penalty. Phew! gnome player may move the Hatbot exactly 6” in any direc- The faecide fogger may be used tion. Hatbots move on every only once, but the cloud lingers player’s turn, for the next for the remainder of the game. three turns, often going off Note: this counter can be in the same round as moved by the Gentle Zephyr deployed. After spell! moving three times, or after coming in contact with any figure, the hatbot gleefully explodes. This inflicts a 3- card attack on every figure within 4” of the hatbot, and (needless to say)

25 Pipe bomb (Cost: 3 points) consumed, it’s gone*. Each bottle contains one swig. Ok, This device is made using a pipe of the smoking variety. it’s more of a gulp really, if you want to get technical but it The Pipe Bomb contains a second chamber in the bowl, still only regenerates one Live point. which is partially stuffed with an explosive, mulchy substance lovingly known by gnomes as “Blackleaf”. Once the shaft is * Until the morning, when it’s memory comes back with a given a sharp twist, the burning ashes in the non-blackleaf marching band behind it. chamber light a fuse leading to the black leaf chamber, and the pipe becomes a small grenade. How the gnomes keep Be careful, though. A gnome can become addicted to the from getting their faces blown off by the things is testament Brew over time, and may eventually become a leperchaun to a Gnomic mastery of the pipe-smoking art. himself because of it...

When a Gnome Gnomic Weapons List throws a pipe bomb, he must pick a target A Gnome may be armed with any two weapons from the spot (on the ground following list. If he has a Clockwork Arm, he may also or on an enemy) purchase Motorswords, Faeslayers and Spritecarvers, which within 12”, and then are usually affixed to the ends of firearms in the manner of draw a card. The bayonets. For an explanation of clip size and ammunition bomb lands where type, see the optional rule “More on Reloading”. (L = the gnome selected, light, M = medium, H = heavy, LC = light cannon, HC = after bouncing a heavy cannon, F = further distance away Flamer.) from the gnome, determined by the number on the card, in inches. Trumps Iron Pistol must be added to numbered cards, as usual. A basic handgun, the Iron Pistol is simple and After the final destination has been determined, the bomb foolproof, but isn’t explodes, assaulting every figure within 3” with a 3-card complicated enough to attack. Boom! Note that this counts as mangle damage to appeal to most gnomes. those affected by the blast. It is easy to assemble and repair, though, as most gnomes use a standardized set of mass-produced pistol parts. Jokers! If a player draws a Joker to defend against a bomb, she . takes no damage (duck and cover!) and may heal either one Riddlegun Live or Kill point if possible. The Riddlegun is the most basic of gnome machine guns. It can fire at a single target rather reliably, or it can If a Joker is drawn while determining how far the bomb spray multiple targets rather unreliably. Like the Iron bounces, then the device explodes on the spot, before it can Pistol, this device uses standard parts, and is considered by be thrown! Center the explosion on the poor gnome himself, most gnomes to be an economical and sensible choice in and start dealing attacks to those in the blast radius as usual automatic weaponry. It’s still a bit too uninventive for (including the gnome who set it off!). most tastes, though.

Leperchaun Brew (Cost: 3 points) Leperchauns, a nasty bunch of undead gnomes that inhabit parts of Europe, have found a way of cheating death in the form of a vile chemical soup. This substance (originally distilled from a gnomic shoe-leather treatment) is now the only thing that keeps leperchauns alive, and they have found that trading any surplus to normal gnomes (for a princely sum) can be a good way to get some extra supplies here and there.

A gnome lucky enough to obtain a bottle Handcannon of Leperchaun Brew can regenerate one The Handcannon is so named because it is, in fact, a Live point (up to the number he had hand-held, automatic cannon; it fires a heavy ball with a at the beginning of the powerful charge out of a pistol-length barrel. While not very game), by taking a swig with accurate, and handicapped by its limited range, the “HC” has one of his actions. Once enough kick to put a big, messy hole in just about anything. this vile stuff has been It’s also hell on the wrists of whoever fires it...

26 Punch Rifle When it comes to range, you can’t do much better than the Punch Rifle. It’s precise and lightweight, with a meticulously crafted viewscope and a long barrel. The Punch Rifle takes practice, and it isn’t the deadliest thing out there, but it’s great at whittling away those close-combat savvy foes from a safe distance.

Candlejet Gnomes usually lack in numbers against smaller foes, such as fairies, especially when a bunch of them get uncomfortably close. The Thundergun Candlejet was invented to With its powerful and penetrating shot, the Thundergun even the odds in such is absolutely the loudest hand-held gun available to gnomes, situations. It fires a wide even louder than the Armcannon. For this reason, gnomes gout of flame by virtue of a are often loathe to use it; on more than one occasion, it’s compressed gas canister, brought the unwanted attention of curious Big People, many spraying flammable fumes of whom are now blind in one eye and terrified of dolls. past a pilot lamp (the “candle”). While not very strong, it’s hard to miss with a wall of fire!

Dualgun The Dualgun is a simple weapon based on very early gnome technology. It simply has two barrels, each with a separate firing mechanism. While the original design only fired 2 rounds before requiring a reload, it has since been modified to accept up to an eight round clip. Many gnomes have a sweet spot in their hearts for this tried and true classic. It’s a lot easier to make than a machine gun, as well.

Torcheon The dreaded Torcheon is a bit like the Candlejet, but instead of a conical blast of fire, it spouts a long stream of it. This makes it very useful for open-field combat, as it can be used to sweep a large area, torching multiple targets in one virtually inescapable shot. Rattlegun The Rattlegun is a larger, belt-fed machine gun, designed to mow down enemies or penetrate armor. It sacrifices the range of the Riddlegun for greater accuracy and increased power, and it makes a heck of a lot more noise.

27 Armcannon ingly loud noise, similar to a growling The armcannon is a big, heavy thing, designed as a beast. It’s so much fun, many fairies like gnome-to-gnome device. It fires a large, heavy round from a to emulate this noise while cutting things long iron shaft, with devastating results. A successful hit with with ordinary swords. Whrrrrrr... one of these can take a fairy’s head clean off (to the delight of her mates and enemies alike!). Silver Pistol Similar to the Iron Pistol in every respect, except for weight. Fairies are enamored by pistols; there’s an implacable grooviness to the things that really takes them away...

Chainkiller Autocannon Crystal Pistol The Chainkiller Autocannon is absolutely the most The Crystal Pistol isn’t really made of gruesome firearm in any gnome’s arsenal. Enormous and crystal, as its fairy-given name suggests. heavy, it fires solid, belt-fed armor-piercing rounds from a Developed especially for use by clock- spinning set of barrels; when concentrated on a single target, it fairies, this relatively powerful piece is can immolate even a Hardcore fairy with relative ease. Such forged from a lightweight alloy which intricate and large gizmos are difficult to make; the usual gnomes call Gearding Metal (after Chainkiller takes about four months to forge, and most Gearding Chuck, its original creator). gnomes either own one or are drawing up plans to build one. This odd metal is a glittering blue, and is so amazingly diffi- cult to make that it sells on the gnome market for about twice as much as pure silver. Gnomes who go through the trouble to make it tend to be a bit selfish with the stuff, although there are reports of Crystal Pistols being traded to the Moon-Fairies...

Machine-Gun Arm The Machine-Gun Arm is, well, a machine Clock-Fairy Weapons gun mounted on the arm. A better name was pending, but “machine-gun arm” is what it’s called by the fairies A clock-fairy may be armed with any two of the following themselves, and has begun to stick. Designed to keep other weapons. They may also be armed with Faesayers and fairies from getting their hands on anything too powerful, it’s Spritecarvers. A Rogue clock-fairy may also be armed with built into the clock’s arm, in place of a hand. any fairy weapon from the Fairy Lists, located in the main Fairy Meat rulebook. For an explanation of clip size and ammunition type, see the optional rule “More on Reloading”. Gremlin Weapons (VL = very light, L = light)) Gremlins don’t use much in the way of weapons, and are quite content with only their wrench and their teeth. Anything else Gremlin Tooth is more fun to smash than to wield. Clock-fairies, as you might expect, come across quite a few gremlin teeth during their time in the company of gnomes. The following items are free to a gremlin, who may have two Most clocks have a gremlin tooth, although some gnomes Teeth and one Wrench. worry that this might make their gremlins a bit uneasy. Gremlin Teeth Motorsword Gremlins love their sharp teeth even more than fairies do, The Motorsword has become a fairy favorite. Aside from but just barely. the raw cutting power, it makes a very satisfying and irritat-

28 Wrench Setting Up- Before the battle starts (during Turn A gremlin’s beloved Wrench only works against weapons Zero), players draw one Order card for each figure and armor, as described in the Gremlins section of the rules. they have, and take turns placing the figures in that If anyone other than a gremlin is lucky enough to get their order. No gnome can be placed within 2” of an hands on one, it continues to function normally, but lacking enemy gnome, and all of a player’s non-gnome figures a gremlin’s whacking expertise, it becomes subject to attack must be placed within 1” of a friendly gnome figure. modifiers from movement and such. The battlefield should be reasonably smattered with For the full lowdown on the Wrench, see the Gremlins section. terrain, as usual.

Scenarios The Battle- The game ends after eight rounds, or when only one player has a gnome left on the field. Victory Gnomes can turn up in just about any situation, points are awarded as follows: and can be used instead of fairies in just about any scenario. Be sensible, though; a gnome could fit right Each Gnome a player kills 5 into the ‘It’s Just a Bunny’ scenario, but isn’t likely to Each Non-Gnome a player kills 2 engage in the ‘Run Fairy Run’ scenario, and probably Each point of Live a player’s gnome has left.. 1 wouldn’t be caught dead in the ‘Lick The Honey Off Scenario.’ The player with the most victory points at the end of the game wins. Oh, wait, that’s not a real scenario? Oh. Never mind that last one, then. 2. Surprise Party 1 to 3 Fairy players against an equal number of Also, as usual, feel free to make up your own scenarios, Gnome players and invent stories on how the situations come up. Gnomes might have more complex motives for fighting Krankjack Berkeley was setting out some of what the than their insane little friends, but that doesn’t make fairies liked to call “Un-Birthday Presents”, colorfully them a bit less belligerent! wrapped boxes filled with test weapons and traps. Like many gnomes, Krankjack found it useful to have fairies test his weapons out against each other, which is killing 1. A Little Paranoid two fairies with one stone. And he always rigged some 2 to 8 Players boxes with bombs or his own delicious (and highly toxic) There have been numerous acts of Krimtip terrorism in the Fumacious Earwig Soup, just to keep the fairies’ numbers town lately, leaving several good gnomes dead. The in check. remaining gnomes are all left accusing each other, having been unable to identify the culprit(s) from the notes left He had just placed the last box, and was happily surveying behind (all signed with the code name “Bitter Edward” ). his work, when he heard a cockney, high-pitched voice, a voice that filled his belly with bitter dread: No one has stepped forward to admit to the wrongdoings, and so a meeting has been called to discuss who is respon- “...over there! Let’s go see what we gots!” sible. Of course, the gnomes are all coming to the meeting to accuse the others, and they’re all coming armed... Oh, bugger, he grumbled. They’re early.

The purpose of this little scuffle is to figure out just who the This is a variation on the “Happy Un-Birthday!” secret Krimtips really are, which of course can be safely and scenario, from the main rulebook. The fairies fairly discerned by the last one left alive. have arrived a bit too early, however, and our gnome friends are in a bit of a The Gnomes- Each player selects 75 points of troops sticky wicket! from the Gnomes lists. The Gnomes- The Gnome Playing Area- The playing area can be any size, but players each get fifty points of should be at least 4’x4’. troops, from the Gnome lists.

29 The Fairies- The Fairy players each get fifty points of troops, from any Fairy list. To the Gnome player, this is an ambush by a pack of wild fairies. To the fairies, this is an exciting game of Playing Area- The playing area can be any size, but Kill the Stupid Old Gnome! The Fairies aren’t very should be at least 4’x4’. hungry, and are all more or less partners here, in a sporting sort of way. Their goal is to kill the gnome, Setting Up- The battlefield is set up in exactly the same but eating each other to do it is perfectly fine. way as in the Happy Un-Birthday scenario. The Gnomes- One Gnome player selects 25 points of Players place their pieces during Turn Zero. The troops for each Fairy player participating, chosen from Gnome players begin in the middle of the playing the Gnomes lists. For example, a five-player game (four area, within 6” of the Presents. The fairies may start fairy opponents) would give the gnome player one anywhere they want, as long as each one is over 12” hundred points. away from a Present or another player’s figures. The Fairies- The other players, who use fairies, each get Gnomes can open boxes and reveal what’s inside, but 25 points apiece. they can’t use the tiny weapons they may find. The gnomes have already forgotten what was within each Playing Area- The playing area can be any size, but box, of course; they all look identical. should be at least 4’x4’.

The Battle- The game ends when there’s either only Setting Up- The board should be peppered with terrain. gnomes or only fairies remaining. The winners are the One side of the board (the longer side, if the area is not players who’re left! . a square) is the Fairy side, and the opposite side is the Gnome side. During their first order card, players enter anywhere on their respective sides. 3. Oh, no, they’re back... 2 to 8 Players The Battle- The game lasts until either all of the “There we were, just some old gnomes innocently minding fairies are dead, or all of the gnomes are dead. The our own business on the way back from a fairy hu- er, Gnome player wins if he’s the last one standing. A from some shopping, when those murderous little bastards Fairy player wins if she’s the one who dealt the final brutally attacked us for no bloody reason at all!” blow to the last Gnome.

From the Sketchbook: We thought you might enjoy a peek into the twisted minds that brought you the magic and mayhem that is Fairy Meat. What you see here are some initial conceptual sketches, glimpses of what may be, from the imagination of seriously disturbed game designers.

30 Quick Reference Charts Part I Miniatures Game Round Order Movement 1) The round begins Fairy 2) The Fairy Deck is shuffled, and each fairy is dealt an Order Type Horizontal Vertical Card (note that a fairy can spend Twinkle before the draw Pose 0" 0" to get one extra Order Card per Twinkle Point expended) Pounce 3" 12" 3) Players take turns acting with their fairies (move, attack, Frolic 6" 6" and Twinkle),in the order determined by Order Cards Flutter 12" 3" 4) The round ends Rush 6" min – 12" max* 3" Gnome Turn Order Wait 0" 0" Waddle 2" 2" Present Order Card when number is called Shimmy 4" 2" Declare speed Gremlins Move, attack and twinkle (any order) Hop 6" 4" or eat (instead of moving, attacking or both * and twinkling not allowed) bonus distance = attacking fairy’s kill points in inches or regenerate twinkle (instead of attacking) Special: dragging objects or meat equal to or more than half the fairy’s Fairy Points plus Meat Points (rounded up) Initiating Wrestling decreases movement distance and altitude by 50% Rushing*: Attacker draws Kill versus defender’s Live (no weapon modifiers). If attacker gets a higher result than defender, the two are wrestling Special Card Effects Pouncing: as rushing, but defending fairy only draws one Ace of Spades - If played during attack, successful attack card rather than her Live (or two cards if she has not yet results in a three damage Nasty Hit plus movement slowed taken her turn) 50% until healed Joining Wrestling In-progress: just fly up and step-on in! Trumps - +1 to attack/defense, or regenerate one twinkle *must be more than 6” away to Rush or Zap (two trumps zap one twinkle from opponent) Jokers Wrestling Modifiers Order Card – Take turn whenever figure wants. Wrestling...... attacker receives +1 card Rushing – Defender gets rush bonus rather then attacker. Rush Bonus...... rushing fairy receives +1 card Hand-to-Hand Combat – Attacker loses one Fairy Point Weapon modifiers...... may only use Riot Weapons or defender heals one Fairy Point at the option of the - see chart on page 26 player who used the joker. When jokers are used in hand- to-hand combat involving gnomes, the results are always Wrestling Process applied to the gnomes armor. If the gnome has no armor, 1) Attacker must be currently involved in wrestling live points are affected as usual. (see initiating) Ranged Attack – either weapon misses or hits a different 2) Attacker draws Kill (need at least one Kill to attack target in attacker’s line-of-site. regardless of modifiers), defender draws Kill Wrestling – no damage to either fairy. (each + or - any modifiers) Twinkle – the spell is cancelled and the target fairy casts 3) Players may elect to use any drawn trumps to Zap the same spell back (automatically) and both fairies draw or regenerate Twinkle again with the original target as the new attacker. 4) Attacker places face-down one card for attack Tu g-Tug – Figures lose grip and move 1" away from the plus any supporting trumps corpse in opposite direction. 5) Defender places face-down one card for defense plus Wrench Attack – If a joker is played to defend against a any supporting trumps wrench attack, the wrench misses entirely. 6) Cards are revealed and any wild trumps immediately Hatbots – If a joker is played to defend against an receive additional cards until a non-trump is drawn exploding hatbot, there is no damage and one Live or Kill 7) Results determined (see chart) point may be healed if possible. Pipe Bomb (defending) – If a joker is played to defend against an exploding pipe Wrestling Results bomb, there is no damage and one Live or Attacker’s score was: Result is: Kill point may be healed if possible. less than defender’s...... Attacker suffers 1 damage Pipe Bomb (throwing) – If a joker is * higher than defender’s ...... Defender suffers 1 damage drawn while measuring distance the bomb equal to defender’s...... Both suffer 1 damage is thrown, the bomb works on the spot * attacker may opt to leave wrestling rather than deal damage without being thrown. Quick Reference Charts Miniatures Game Part II Attack Process Melee Weapons Hand-to-Hand Weapon Def. Mod. Att. Mod # Attacks Cost Special 1) Attacker picks target in base-to-base contact Fairy Knife - +1 1 1 - 2) Attacker draws Kill (need at least one Kill to attack Press-on claws . . .- ...... +1 ...... 1 . . . . . 2 ...... riot regardless of modifiers), defender draws Live (each + or Moon Dagger - +2 1 2 - - any modifiers) Gremlin Tooth . . .- ...... +2 ...... 1 . . . . .3 . . . . . riot 2a) Each player uses only cards from this draw, even for Ripper -1 +2 1 3 mangler multiple attacks Vibro-Master . . . .-1 ...... +1 ...... 2 . . . . .5 ...... - 3) Players may elect to use any drawn trumps to Zap or Sprite Carver -2 - 1 6 sword regenerate Twinkle Crystal Blade . . .-1 ...... +2 ...... 2 . . . . .9 . . . .sword 4) Attacker places face-down one card for attack plus any Faeslayer -1 +2 3 12 sword supporting trumps Motorsword . . . .-2 ...... +2 ...... 2 . . . . .11 . . . .sword 5) Defender places face-down one card for defense plus any supporting trumps Ranged Weapons 6) Cards are revealed and any wild trumps immediately Weapon Def. Range # Att. Str. Cost Clip Ammo Special receive additional cards until a non-trump is drawn Fairy Shot . . . . - . . . . 24 . . . 1 . . . 1 . . . 5 . . . - . . . . - . . . . . - 7) Results determined (see chart) Brownie Bow . . - . . . . 36 . . . 1 . . . 2 . . . 8 . . . - . . . . - . . . . . - 8) Process repeats from step 4 for additional attacks Black Wand . . . - . . Infinite . . 1 . . . 2 . . 11 . . . - . . . . -. . . mangler Iron Pistol . . . . -1 . . . 24 . . . 1 . . . 2 . . 10. . . 6. . . . L . . . . . - Attack Process Riddlegun . . . . . - . . . . 36 . . . 3 . . . 3 . . 13 . . 24 . . . L . . . . . - Ranged Handcannon . . -2 . . . 12 . . . 1 . . . 2 . . 15. . . 3 . . . LC . . cannon 1) Attacker picks target in line-of-sight Candlejet . . . . . 0 . . . . 6 . . special . 3 . . 15. . . 6. . . . F . . . flamer 2) Measure to check if within range of weapon but greater Dualgun...... -1 . . . 24 . . . 2 . . . 4 . . 15. . . 8 . . . M . . . . . - than 1” Rattlegun. . . . . -1 . . . 24 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . 16 . . 24 . . . M . . . . . - 3) Attacker draws weapon strength (need at least one Kill to Punch Rifle . . . -1 . . . 48 . . . 1 . . . 3 . . 16. . . 4 . . . M . . . . . - attack regardless of modifiers), defender draws Live (each Thundergun . . -2 . . . 24 . . . 1 . . . 4 . . 18. . . 5 . . . M . . . . . - + or - any modifiers) To rcheon. . . . . -1 . . . 12 . special . 2 . . 20 . . 12 . . . F . . . flamer 3a)Each player uses only cards from this draw, even for Armcannon . . . -2 . . . 36 . . . 1 . . . 4 . . 26. . . 2. . . HC . . cannon multiple attacks Chainkiller AC. -2 . . . 24 . . . 3 . . . 6 . . 37 . . 24 . . . H . . cannon 4) Players may elect to use any drawn trumps to Zap or Silver Pistol . . . -1 . . . 24 . . . 1 . . . 1 . . . 8. . . 12. . . VL. . . . . - regenerate Twinkle Crystal Pistol . -1 . . . 24 . . . 1 . . . 3 . . 12 . . 12. . . VL. . . . . - 5) Attacker places face-down one card for attack plus any M. G.Arm . . . . 0. . . . 24 . . . 3 . . . 3 . . 11 . . 24 . . . L. . . integral supporting trumps 6) Defender places face-down one card for defense plus any supporting trumps 7) Cards are revealed and any wild trumps immediately Attack Modifiers receive additional cards until a non-trump is drawn Target in partial cover* defender receives +1 card 8) Results determined (see chart) Attacker posed or waited attacker receives +1 card 9) Process repeats from step 4 for additional attacks Attacker fluttered or attacker receives –1 card shimmied Attack Results Using riot weapon wielder receives –1 card Attacker’s score was: Damage is: Attacker with sword, attacker receives +1 card less than or equal to defender’s 0 damage defender without sword higher than defender’s 1 damage One card rule a figure that has not had a > 4 points higher than defender’s 2 damage movement yet receives +1 > 8 points higher than defender’s 3 damage card Weapons modifiers varies by weapon – see the chart directly above Gnome clockwork arm attacker receives +2 cards in hand to hand combat *ranged weapons only TheThe FaFairyiry CaCardsrds

Every figure in the game has its own Fairy Card (these are located on the next page - please cut them out with a very sharp pair of scissors as they are rather unwieldly to use otherwise). Using this card, players keep track of the respective figure’s ability and health, using counters to represent Armor, Kill, Live, and Twinkle Points (these counters are located on the center insert). The players should keep the fairy cards outside the playing area, in front of the player who’s using them. All players should feel free to examine each other’s Fairy Cards, unless everyone agrees otherwise. Races other than fairies also use Fairy Cards but they're still called Fairy Cards. Weird Huh?

Looking at the card, you’ll see that it’s divided into two halves, marked Life and Meat. The top half is the Life side, where the player places all of the points that the figure can use (her Fairy Points). Figures start the game with all of their points on the Life area of the card, rearin’ to go.

The bottom half, the Meat area, is where the player moves a figure’s points when they can no longer be utilized by the figure (thus becoming Meat Points). When a figure takes damage, it moves dam- aged Armor, Kill and Live Points from the Life area to the Meat area, which denotes their status as Meat Points; also, when a fairy casts a spell, the Twinkle Points she spends go to the Meat area. Although a figure cannot use points that are in the Meat section, circumstances can sometimes return them to the Life area. When all of a figure’s Live and Kill Points are on the Meat area of the Fairy Card, it means the poor figure is completely dead, and fit for eating by anyone who chooses to do so.

There are also blanks on the card for writing down the figure’s name and armament. You should remember each figure’s name, so you know which particular card refers to it. You might like to use pencil, so you can erase whatever you write. We recommend you laminate the cards and use a fine- point dry-erase marker for marking them, so they can be re-used. You’ll kill many more trees this way, as you will constantly be buying tissues to wipe off the cards; the resulting two-dimensional defor- ested wastelands enable one to see many more stars at night, which is good. Fairy Cards Twinkle Counters

Live Counters

Armor Counters Weapon Counters

Weapon Counters Armor Counters

Kill Counters Weapon Counters

Weapon Counters TheThe FaFairyiry CaCardsrds

Every figure in the game has its own Fairy Card (these are located on the next page - please cut them out with a very sharp pair of scissors as they are rather unwieldly to use otherwise). Using this card, players keep track of the respective figure’s ability and health, using counters to represent Armor, Kill, Live, and Twinkle Points (these counters are located on the center insert). The players should keep the fairy cards outside the playing area, in front of the player who’s using them. All players should feel free to examine each other’s Fairy Cards, unless everyone agrees otherwise. Races other than fairies also use Fairy Cards but they're still called Fairy Cards. Weird Huh?

Looking at the card, you’ll see that it’s divided into two halves, marked Life and Meat. The top half is the Life side, where the player places all of the points that the figure can use (her Fairy Points). Figures start the game with all of their points on the Life area of the card, rearin’ to go.

The bottom half, the Meat area, is where the player moves a figure’s points when they can no longer be utilized by the figure (thus becoming Meat Points). When a figure takes damage, it moves dam- aged Armor, Kill and Live Points from the Life area to the Meat area, which denotes their status as Meat Points; also, when a fairy casts a spell, the Twinkle Points she spends go to the Meat area. Although a figure cannot use points that are in the Meat section, circumstances can sometimes return them to the Life area. When all of a figure’s Live and Kill Points are on the Meat area of the Fairy Card, it means the poor figure is completely dead, and fit for eating by anyone who chooses to do so.

There are also blanks on the card for writing down the figure’s name and armament. You should remember each figure’s name, so you know which particular card refers to it. You might like to use pencil, so you can erase whatever you write. We recommend you laminate the cards and use a fine- point dry-erase marker for marking them, so they can be re-used. You’ll kill many more trees this way, as you will constantly be buying tissues to wipe off the cards; the resulting two-dimensional defor- ested wastelands enable one to see many more stars at night, which is good.

TheThe FlaFlamermer TemplaTemplatestes

The ultimate flamer accessory, use of these templates is explained on page 19 of Clockwork Stomp. Fairy Cards Flamer Tempates ISBN 1-889182-16-8 EAN

U.S. $19.95 CAN $29.95 Printed in U.S.A. K&C404

Once upon a time, gnomes were a peaceful, bookish people. If it has to take a hundred lifetimes, they resolved, we will be Some lived in forests or on mountaintops, philosophizing and the pinnacle of science and thought, and take our rightful place refining their advanced mathematics. Others dwelled secretly in as the superior species on Earth! "All well and good," some the walls of alchemists’ laboratories, sneaking out at night to replied, "but first we’d like to practice on something... small." pore over the research of their human landlords. On the whole, they were simply weird, merry hermits, content only to learn Fairy Meat, a bold adventure in miniature gaming for two and tinker. or more, is a battle between Wee folk. Players get to play cute and cuddly little fairies. Warped by evil, the once sweet Bit by bit, though, every generation of gnomes became more little folk turn into homicidal cannibals and all they care and more tense than the one before. You see, they all had a about is whom their next meal is going to be. With burning feeling that their lives were lonely somehow, even with Clockwork Stomp we’ve now taken this world of slapstick other gnomes for company. On top of this, they grew ever more slaughter to the next level with guns and ammo! Now envious of the physical freedoms of more athletic creatures, and gnomes, clock fairies and gremlins enter the scene. of the rapidly advancing Big People, with their impossibly huge Discover gnomic technology and find out why fairies are on engines and refined fuel and electrical power and all that. the top of their list of "things to kill". Gnomes crank up Eventually, it was held that there just wasn’t much good to the Hackfactor with weapons ranging from sawed being a gnome at all, and the best choice for any gnome off shotguns to flame throwers and chainsaws. was to stay home and build little models. Learn of Gunkdunder Albany's breakthrough invention, the Clock-Fairy. Build your own This continued along until the early seventies, when fairy? Yes, with propellers instead of wings, the psychological buildup came to a head, and a with weapons instead of hands… Go new movement slowly began to turn in gnome ahead, use gnomes, clock-fairies and society. They were beginning to look more gremlins in your Fairy Meat game! sharply at the world around them, and what they could do with it. Why can’t we be on This first expansion to Fairy Meat is top?, the average gnome was heard to say. a stand-alone miniatures game. We’re smart, we’re handsome, and we The original Fairy Meat rule book can bench twelve ounces! is not required for play.

And so it was that gnomic society began forging its own place in the world, bit by chubby bit.