The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 1 The Kentonian July/August 2012 THE BROMLEY BARBERSHOP HARMONY CLUB MAGAZINE Volume 3 Issue 33

The Kentones Cordon Bleu Quartet Retires After 14 Years

The quartet entered Music Festivals in Beckenham, 2003, and the semi-finals in 2004. Best fun was a tele- Bromley and Croydon, usually scoring in the high 80’s, vised performance as a part of the Cadbury’s “WISPA” with Honours and Distinction ratings. Chocolate Bar campaign in 2007.

Highlights were entering the national BABS Seniors’ They carried out a number of commercial singouts, in- Quartet concert in 2003, being placed second (Bromley’s cluding several anniversary parties, an Art Exhibition in “Select Company” being placed first). They also a vast, former garage, and a Music Week performance in reached the final in the Silver Stars National Contest in a pub.

Registered Charity 1094386 www.thekentones.org

The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 2

Founded in 1998 from within the Cordon Bleu Small Cho- rus, the quartet, Chris Garrard (Lead), John Weeks (Bass), John Rayfield (Tenor) and John Vaughan (Baritone), have decided that it is time to call it a day. The Lead for most of the time was John Ray, until ill health made it difficult Now, after 14 years, with all but Chris being in their late for him to continue. 70’s, and with health and vocal difficulties beginning to appear, they have decided to call it a day and have de- registered the Quartet with BABS. The members are still very happy to sing in quartets with others if asked to fill in for competitions, singouts etc..

“A great experience which we can all thoroughly recom- mend!” John Vaughan

The Cordon Bleu small chorus was an example of the tri- umph of enthusiasm over advancing years, entertaining thousands since they began (and raising thousands for the Club!) yet often seeming surprised at their popularity. The Quartet, and the other surviving Cordon members, may have stepped out of the limelight, but we hope they will continue to grace the risers for years to come. Frank Taylor, Charley Gates and others have filled in on occasions. Phillip Khan-Panni

Singers’ Tea - Correction Thank You Mike!

Due to a typing error, a mistake appeared in the recipe for Singers' Tea that I put into the last edition. '75ml of good quality apple juice' should read '750ml' (i.e. a good full bottle's worth!) I know this has misled at least one reader who tried it, so apologies for this. The corrected recipe is:

Singers’ Tea (serve warm. Sipping is recommended)

1 fresh ginger root about 6 - 8 inches 1 750ml bottle of good quality apple juice 1 fresh lemon 1/4 tsp cayenne 2-3 dessert spoons of runny honey

Chop ginger root in 1/4 inch slice rounds and simmer for 45 minutes. Add the whole chopped lemon and let it sit in the liquid for as long as On our club night after we got back from Convention, our you like, but I would suggest for not less than 20 minutes in order to draw out the oil from the zest. Strain and discard the bits of ginger and Chairman, Phillip Khan-Panni, voiced the admiration and lemon. Add the cayenne, honey and apple juice. gratitude of the whole Club to Mike for his amazing hard work, patience, attention to detail and overall leadership as Personally I blame the proof reader, but to be fair he is he took us to another resounding result in the Chorus now getting old and maybe losing his faculties, so forgive- Competition. Our gratitude was duly wrapped up in a bot- ness is in order! tle of something nice! Geoff Mountney Ed. The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 3

An Alternative Convention Itinerary

The best way to enjoy Convention, I am sure, is to Next morning, breakfast in McDonalds before head- travel up with the rest of the Chorus and join in with ing into Liverpool for some sightseeing. Made the everything, but what if that is not possible? mistake of filling up my car next to Anfield stadium wearing a blue T-shirt. It was commented on! For me, the challenge of juggling a family of four children and a busy job in the NHS, leads me to take a different approach. My challenge is to attend Con- vention in the shortest possible time for the minimum financial outlay. Usually Convention happens at the same time as half term when, for many years, we have spent a week in Anglesey (a pleasant 45 minute drive to Llandudno). But this year, half term was a week late, thanks to Her Majesty, so a different ap- proach was needed. This was my itinerary for 2012.

Friday morning, into work as normal. Finished my last meeting at 1.30pm and left work at 2.00pm. Bor- rowed Becky's car (the one with air conditioning that works!) and set off by around 3.00pm. Traffic steady to Battersea Bridge, a bit of a slow chug from Earls The Hallowed Gates of Anfield Court to Hanger Lane, but then a nice clear run up the M40. Make sparing use of the air con. despite the 26 Then drove into Southport in beautiful weather and degree temperature (remember that), as the air con. is delighted to find a car park that was only £3.50 for not good for the singing voice. the day. Met up with Kevin and some others and reached the Convention venue in time to see the first Celebrated the 40 th birthday of Spaghetti Junction few choruses before going to the hotel to warm up. with a brief pause to enjoy the road wobbling with the weight of traffic, then on up to Liverpool. Had a great day which I wouldn't have missed for Reached my £19 Travel Lodge on the outskirts of anything. I felt we did well and each time we take Liverpool at around 8.30pm. part in Convention I feel I learn things which should make a difference for next time. It seems to me that we need to find songs we know well enough not to spend all the time note bashing, but that we don't know so well we go into autopilot!

After our performance, sat down for a baked potato and watched a few more choruses. I was going to wait for the results but, realising it was going to be delayed, I decided to head off at around 5.30pm. Not long before I was on the motorway and enjoyed the drive home. Stopped off at Hilton Park to pester John Sollitt for the results but still waiting. Home just af- ter 10.00pm and tucked up in bed by 10.30pm.

So that was Southport Convention The Royal Liver Building in Liverpool in 31½ hours and 500 miles. Encountered my first difficulty at KFC in Liverpool, as I discovered that I find it easier to understand a Bournemouth should be a lot eas- French accent than a Liverpool accent, and slightly ier! embarrassed to have to ask the very helpful young lady to repeat almost everything she said. Tim Sowter The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 4

I Made It! Jubilee Tea Party Marjorie McClure

School

I Swam 22 miles in 9 weeks, which is the equivalent of 1073 lengths of The Walnuts swimming pool, or the distance from Dover to Calais.

We were pleased to receive this report from the Marjorie McClure School on the visit of the Acafellas to their Diamond Jubilee Tea Party. As is proving quite common, the chorus was referred to as The Kentones. This was our third visit to the Marjorie McClure School and we found the atmosphere as happy and festive as ever, and the welcome afforded us really could not have been warmer. It is an absolute pleasure to sing for the pupils and staff of this amazing place. On this occasion, in Colin’s absence, we were very ably directed by Frank. Ed.

On Thursday 30 th June we had a Royal tea party as part of our celebrations for the Jubilee in Royal week. We had a special visitor ‘Queen Janet’ and we sang the National Anthem with great pride and sang and signed beautifully. We also were very pleased to wel- come back The Kentones. Here are some of the com- ments from the pupils:

“The tea party was lovely, I liked the cakes.” Chloe Thanks to members of the Chorus, family and friends I “It was fun. I liked the music” Asmaa have raised over £800 for DIABETES UK, which will “It was great fun. I thought it was funny that the be used to fund research. Queen came. I knew it wasn’t the real Queen” Katie “I liked the men singing” Jack Once again a big thank you for supporting me - now I can have a rest!. The staff had made a special effort and the cakes were Margaret Garrard magnificent - a great time was had by all! All the pu- pils and staff were presented with a lovely bookmark as What an achievement! a memento for the Jubilee which I am sure we will all Huge congratulations Margaret - for the marathon keep and treasure with many happy memories of our swim and for the amazing sum you raised. ‘Royal Tea Party’ . Ed. The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 5

A Club Sandwich of Kentones

With Diamond Jubilee celebrations still thick in the air, Guests enjoyed their drinks in a relaxed and happy at- we set off to sing for the good folk of The Holy Innocents mosphere, we then sang our first set for them, they went Church in Orpington on Saturday 16th June. It turned out on to their starters, we sang our second set (including a to be one of those charming occasions that linger long in song or two from Acafellas), they then enjoyed their the memory. The structure of the event was quite unique main course and eventually their sweet course (which as we, and two other artistes, were woven into the evening boasted some of the most wicked cream delights I have between the various courses of a sumptuous meal, which ever seen!) To round things off, a couple of talented lo- all came as part of the package for the guests. cals performed some songs from the shows and finally led the guests in a right good sing song of London Town favourites. This plan for the evening was very novel; it would be interesting to know if it was successful, finan- cially, for the organisers. If it was, then it is a format that we could pass on as a recommendation to others.

David’s seemingly effortless compèring matched the re- laxed and cordial atmosphere of the evening perfectly, and Frank’s directing was superb. How fortunate we are to have such back-up directing talent within the Club! I don’t think any of us who sang at this performance will forget the rendition of “Lies” Frank took us through, truly ‘at a lick’, as indicated in the sheet music! Boy, didn’t the To liken the event to a Club Sandwich is no disrespect to audience love it! And so did we! the quality of the meal but merely a description of the way the evening’s delights were carefully sandwiched together. David Southgate

In the contest our chorus was high, A stage presence judge from L.A. Our tenor trilled light as a feather, We strutted our stuff, every guy, Was disgruntled and full of dismay. As our lead sadly mewed “Stormy Weather” But the scores we received “With their singin’ and huffin’ Our bass growled like thunder Made us firmly believe And jumping and puffin’, But WE WON! And no wonder, That the judges had judged with one eye. They’ll soon all be doing ballet!” Since my bari blent all parts together.

The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 6

A Memorable Day Peter Aylett

We had a day out together, just Now here’s a guy who can tell a tale Barry White and me, or two And memories of my past life came About pits and harbours and landfill. flooding back to me. He’s done them all and can still stand I showed him where I used to live, tall, and places I had worked. Well almost, for time just won’t stand A coal mine, (which has long since still. gone) where many dangers lurked. Beneath the Garden of England, re- Green grass grows now, where min- nowned for its beauty, ing spoil once blighted land around, He sweated and toiled in the pit, But buildings stand just as they did when I worked un- Forever, he thought, confined to this duty derground. With no way to escape or to quit.

Though weeds are well established now, where men who He knew that this blackness would someday devour him worked so hard, And was certain he must get out or die, Are ghosts, which haunt my memory, of that old pit He must see more of the world that was all about him yard. And enjoy fresh air, land, sea and sky. Life goes on and other memories come to mind. So many are the images that I have left behind. So with pluck and grit as was his nature, And, determined his pit days were over, But Barry had a story too and as we shared the day, He packed his bags to begin a new venture As an officer at the harbour in Dover. Got to know each other better, as we went on our way. We drove on up to Dover’s cliffs and looked out over Now life was better, he could see his horizon, the sea, And he knows his strength was due to one thing, A fitting end to our day out; just Barry White, and me. For all his ups and downs and all he got wise on He thanks God he can b***** well sing. Peter Aylett Barry White Men Can Fix Anything!

Olympic Banter H T T L O E I C S Deduce the banter by using all nine let- ters. Wherever you start you must only L R A O R T T L T travel via adjacent letters and you must

only use each letter once . O N I P A W E H A (Answers on page 12)

The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 7

Race Night Who is this?

It’s Yours Truly Friday 19th October David Southgate! 7.15 PM The parting has gone, the dark, shiny hair has gone, Saxon Centre, Orpington, BR6 0TJ any childhood good looks there may have been, have £7.50 gone as well. Do I begin to hear the strains of the (£5 for Supporters’ Club members) Bard’s message marking out the course of time?

Includes Ploughman’s Supper “……………… Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Bring own drinks and glasses Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.” Limited to 80 tickets.

(Some already sold - it is such a good evening so Well, even if it is, I won’t give in to it just yet anyway! be quick.)

Tickets available from Brenda on 01689 859359 Now who is this?

Puzzle from Al

Four different numbers add up to 72. These numbers may be obtained by using one number, X, in the fol- lowing sums. What is X? What are the missing num- bers?

(Answer on page 12)

Here’s a smart young fellow for you! And do I detect Club Branding and Proof Reading a quiet determination in that expression? You know who this is, surely. Why not ask him? If you can’t We are delighted that Al Horton and David Tindall have work it out, the answer will be in the Sept/Oct Issue. agreed to serve in the two new posts announced by the chairman, Phillip Khan-Panni, on Club night, 12 th July. Al is going to oversee all matters involving the branding Thank you to Green Street Blues and Viva Acapella of the Club and David is going to proof read all material for their interesting articles in the May/June issue of for printing. Our thanks to them both. The Kentonian, and many congratulations on all their If, at any time in the future, you are involved in producing achievements. artefacts or printed material for the Club, please would I do hope they keep us informed of their future con- you be sure to build into the process a consultation with certs. Al and David. Brenda Newman

The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 8

I'm Singing in the Tarn! Sunday 1st July 2012. Woke up feeling great! England had made it to the finals of the European Cup and as long as I stay focused I will score the winner! “Oh, hang on a mo”. Rubbed the sleep from my eyes and realised we had been knocked out two matches ago and I was a 46 year old cleaner. Well at least I had the Acafellas singout to look forward to. Time flew by and before I knew it I was on my way.

How nice this is I thought to myself as the organiser intro- duced...... THE KENTONES! What did he say? The Kentones? Too late now, we would just have to make sure we do our best for the Club.

With a new song to sing, and a few not often sung out, we all looked at Colin, smiled (sort of), stood in performance stance and took a deep breath ...... (phwour, it really is a stinky pit). All was going well and, for the small number that we were, we sang with pride and confidence, which in turn started to bring the audience to life. Well, since we were the first on it was always going to take a couple of Having lived in the area as a boy I often visited the Tarn songs to get them going, but we were now getting a good in Mottingham to feed the ducks (don't worry I now have reception. a TV), but for the life of me I could not think of a flat enough space to put up a stage..... well that is apart from Ah, Mr Tindall’s turn for his famous insert. This is bound where the overflow drain to the ponds was, but nobody to create some interest. Indeed David started in his usual would put it near that stinky pit ...... Yep, smack in fashion...... the microphone was not working (!) ...... but as front of the stinky pit was a stage. Ugh! “Deep breaths” the true professional that he is he carried on and the com- came the commanding voice of Colin as we took our père quickly realised that the speaker was turned down places for a quick rehearsal. Deep breaths ...... not b***** and David was soon back to full glory...... for a while. likely ..... it stinks...... ugh! The things we do for the love You see, David was introducing Amarillo and then told all of Barbershop. in booming amplified resonance that if they clapped at the wrong time he would make them buy a ...... CV! What did he say? ...... a CV? Panic set in. I've been self employed for twelve years and it’s way out of date. Why would they want to buy my CV? Even if they can get two for £8!

Well at least we sang Amarillo with a smile on our faces...... between you and me, if David had said VD I would have had to be carried off the stage. Still it’s a super thing David does, and not easy, so please don't think Having had a few moments to adjust to singing out doors I am not aware of the Master’s greatness. we were now off, looking down to the stinky pit - I mean As is the way of these things it was over before we felt we stage area - as we were about to be introduced to the had started, apart from the song "No More Sorrow" which masses (around 25, not including our Supporters). Still I always wish was over before it had started. Still, apart it’s always a pleasure to entertain. It was a rain free eve- from the really silly, girl-like notes in the song it did go ning and we would be enhancing the Acafellas back cata- down well, and I fear is here to stay. A good round of logue of performances. Now we were just putting the fi- applause rang out as we departed the stage and by now the nal touches to our uniform (with the help of several safety sun was out too. Most stayed to enjoy the rest of the per- pins in my tie) and just as the compère was about to intro- formances and relax with a cup of tea, but for me the duce us I took a moment to look around. memories of being chased by half starved ducks and the I was pleasantly surprised to view the small but perfectly smell of stinky pit was enough to get me formed hut where a few suitably attired ladies were mak- going. ing tea and preparing salads on plates, the white plastic Very enjoyable, and a good performance chairs mixed in with beach type deck chairs in a semicir- that went down a treat! cle flowing down the natural slope to the stage just made Off to re-write my CV now! me feel like we were in a small village fair .... somewhere in the Cotswolds (or similar country area). John Williams The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 9

Hawaii 5 0? More Like Hawaii 5 0000!!!!!!

Viva Acappella are just about and Bar-B-Q’ day time event being held on Monday 27th coming down to earth after our August. The venue is Sally James’ (nee Mesure) back success in Birmingham in May garden – well, more of a meadow really. Sally lives in at the Sweet Adeline Region 31 Teston, set in stunning Kent countryside, and she has Convention – but there’s nothing kindly agreed to open up her garden for this event. The like the realisation that we need band, Muddy River, will be providing the entertainment to raise about £30,000 to get to and band members include Sally’s husband, Dave (ex International in Hawaii 2013, to Kentone) and also Karen’s brother Dave Bayliss (also an snap us back to reality! Yes - ex Kentone – though many, many years ago!) The £30,000!!! And it falls to the ticket price is £10 pp and this includes the Bar-B-Q – two (not unfamiliar faces, I’m there will also be a pay bar. So, if any of you fancy an sure!) pictured alongside to afternoon out on Bank Holiday Monday, with plenty of launch, organise and monitor our music, fun and laughter – please contact Helen or Karen A bit of an unconven- fund raising activities, and en- for tickets: tional picture of Karen courage, cajole, tempt and se- [email protected] and me at the launch of duce all our families, friends, [email protected] VA’s Fund Raising for colleagues, acquaintances and Hawaii – but we thought people we don’t know from Our second event is the Viva Christmas Show, on Satur- it might raise a titter!!! Adam, into supporting us! day 1 st December. Hosted by Viva Acappella, we have already secured BABBS 2012 Gold Medal Winning We started immediately with the launch of the Viva Fat Quartet IQ and are hoping that a very special men’s cho- Club. Being only too aware that we will have bikinis to rus, always close to our hearts, might agree to make an pour ourselves into, in order to make the most of the Ha- appearance too! Venue and ticket price to be confirmed, waiian beaches, 13 members joined our slimming club and but we’d love you to save the date! are weighed in each week – paying £2 per week for the privilege. Over the last 3 weeks we have raised £100, and In a nutshell, we have a very exciting time lost 63lbs!!!! – so only another £29,900 to go! ahead and we would love you to be part of it – so we hope you won’t mind if we We have all sorts of activities and events going on and a drop you a line every now and again to very full programme planned already for the remainder of keep you posted of what’s going on. 2012 – but we thought that some of you may be interested in two events we have coming up. The first is our ‘Band Helen Mitchener

Super-State Europe?

Next on the scene was Jean Monnet, a friend and associate of by the Rothschild-controlled Carnegie Foundation. Merry and the Jesuit and founder of the Bilderberg Group, Joseph Retinger, Serge Bromberger, both admirers of Monnet, described the and both of them answered to the Rothschilds. Monnet would go covert plan in their book, Jean Monnet and the United States on to be called the 'Father of Europe’ for his work on the of Europe: ‘European Project’. He described the plan from the start in a letter to a friend on April 30th, 1952: ‘Gradually, it was thought, the suprana- tional authorities, supervised by the 'Europe's nations should be guided towards the super-state European Council of Ministers at Brus- without their people understanding what is happening. This can sels and the Assembly in Strasbourg, be accomplished by successive steps, each disguised as having would administer all the activities of the an economic purpose, but which will eventually and irreversibly Continent. A day would come when gov- lead to federation.' ernments would be forced to admit that an integrated Europe was an accomplished fact, without their having had a say in And it is still going on today. Monnet was instrumental with the establishment of its underlying principles. All they would French politician and later Prime Minister, Robert Schuman, in have to do was to merge all these autonomous institutions into the establishment in 1952 of the European Coal and Steel Com- a single federal administration and then proclaim a United munity (stepping-stone) which merged and centrally-controlled States of Europe.’ the coal and steel industries of West Germany, France, Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxemburg. Monnet was That day is now so close, and it has been planned from day awarded the Wateler Peace Prize (pay-off) of two million francs one. But, don't worry, there's no conspiracy. to recognise the ‘international spirit which he had shown in con- ceiving the Coal and Steel Community.’ The award was made Zzzzzzzzzzz. (Passed on by Mike Corr) The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 10

Our Current Warm-Up Tongue Twister

Designed, no doubt, to get our facial muscles working, Nature does nothing uselessly. improve our diction and engage our brains this new I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him tongue twister is what we have been struggling with re- who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the cently. If it’s new to you, have a go at it. Try saying it victory over self. to yourself six times, getting faster each time.

“Aristotle lost his bottle when he saw an ocelotl” What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do. I suppose it was the Ocelotl bit that first got me thinking that I really didn’t know much about the three constitu- Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening ents of this teaser - Aristotle, Losing your bottle and the when you'd rather have been talking. now famous Ocelotl. I thought I would do some re- search and this is what I came up with. Losing your bottle

We all know what it means, but there Aristotle appears to be little certainty about the origins of the saying. The suggestion (384 BC - 322 BC) was a Greek Philoso- I like best is that it is linked to the pher and polymath, a student of Plato and phrase 'Dutch courage', which is teacher of Alexander the Great. His writ- where you get your courage out of a ings cover many subjects, including phys- bottle. So, when someone has 'lost ics, metaphysics, poetry, theatre, music, their bottle' it means they are scared logic, rhetoric, linguistics, poli- but can’t even muster courage out of a tics, government, ethics, biology, and zoology. Together bottle - because they’ve lost it. with Plato and Socrates (Plato's teacher), Aristotle is one of the most important founding figures in Western phi- Ocelotl losophy. His writings were the first to create a compre- hensive system of Western philosophy, encompass- More commonly known to us as an ocelot, the name ing morality, aesthetics, logic, science, politics, and comes from one of the Aztec languages metaphysics. “ocelotl” (pronounced “ocelotle”)

Some of his famous quotations are:

A true friend is one soul in two bodies.

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, pas- sion, desire.

All men by nature desire knowledge.

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be an- gry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. The ocelot is also known as the dwarf leopard and is a

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated wild cat distributed extensively over South America, from law and justice he is the worst. Central America, and Mexico. They have been reported as far east as Trinidad and Barbados in the Caribbean. Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to North of Mexico, they are found regularly only in the old age. extreme southern part of Texas.

Bring your desires down to your present means. Increase them only when your increased means permit. The ocelot is similar in appearance to a domestic cat. Its fur resembles that of a clouded leopard or jaguar and was Change in all things is sweet. once regarded as particularly valuable. As a result, hun- dreds of thousands of ocelots were once killed for their He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good com- fur. mander. David Southgate The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 11

Learn How to Sing And the Winner is…. in 4 Part Harmony David Tindall

New 6 week course for men

It’s local and FREE! All I said was “Margaret, I’ve hired an 18 year old Yes, we’re at it again! Au Pair to help with things when you’re out swim- th ming…” Another course is starting on Thursday 11 October. 1 Hour sessions commencing at Our very own Chris Garrard sportingly put up this photo 6.45pm. for us all to have a bit of fun at his expense - quite liter- ally as he generously contributed a bottle of wine as a Press advertisements ap- prize for the person writing what was judged to be the best caption. After careful consideration by our panel of pearing mid July and three judges we can now announce the winner to be probably also early Sep- David Tindall with the caption above. Our congratula- tember. tions to David and our thanks to Chris.

We have successfully re- The complete list of entries is given below, in no particu- cruited talented and com- lar order. Where points were awarded they are given in brackets. Enjoy the fun! mitted new members from past courses; in fact 1. “I said I'd only be out one night a week barbershop 13 of our present mem- singing!” (2) bers started in our 2009 2. The Way You Look Tonight. (13) course. We expect more 3. “Who ate all the jam?” (3) this Autumn. We ask 4. “Any more of those doughnuts?” (16) that all present members 5. “I knew I should have used sun blocker!” support the new course in 6. “I am not completely embarrassed...... ” any way possible and, as in the past, make 7. “I hate choreography.” (12) learners feel welcome. 8. “I’ll never sing a wrong note again!” (14) 9. "That was some jam session yesterday." (19) 10. Say “NO!” to cosmetic surgery. (13) Don’t forget that a great way to recruit new 11. “She didn't, did she?” (14) guys is by word of mouth, so speak to friends, 12. “Now will you let me go out swimming again to- neighbours, family members, work colleagues, night?!!!” (4) men in pubs or anywhere else. Remember that 13. All I said was “Margaret, I’ve hired an 18 year old men are notoriously shy in putting themselves Au Pair to help with things when you’re out swim- forward, but wives and girlfriends are good at ming…” (21) making encouraging noises and will often 14. Blackadder finally caught up with Baldrick. prompt and nudge their man in the right direc- 15. “Should have ducked when he hit that six!” (1) tion, so speak to them as well! All you have to 16. “You should have seen the other fella.” (9) do is pass their details to Colin Couves who is, 17. "You can laugh all you like - it's no skin off my again, co-ordinating applications. nose!" (14) 18. “Did Chris say ‘BOTOX’?” (1) Geoff Mountney 19. “I know I’ve been a silly ass – you don’t have to rub my nose in it” (18) The Kentonian July/August 2012 Page 12

The Kentones Meetings : Club Nights - Thursdays 7.30pm at St. Paul’s Church Hall, Crofton Road, Orpington, Kent. Main Committee: Music Committee:

Chairman - Phillip Khan-Panni Chorus Director - Mike Corr Vice Chairman - David Southgate Asst. Chorus Director - Colin Couves Secretary - Brian Scothern Co-opted members - John Mesure Treasurer - Les Moore - Frank Taylor Membership Sec. - Geoff Mountney Part Leaders Lead - Jack Willoughby Public Relations Officer - Peter Aylett Bass - Ian Brown Performance Sec. - John Sollitt Tenor - Tim Sowter Baritone - John O’Connor

Magazine: The Kentonian, published bi-monthly. Editor - David Southgate Tel: 01322 279803 E-mail: [email protected]

Kentones Diary Dates

Date Time Venue Function

Mon 23 July tba Beckenham High Street Olympic Torch Relay Thur 27 Sept 7.30pm St Paul’s Church Hall Club AGM

Fri 19 Oct 7.15pm Saxon Centre, Orpington, BR6 0TJ Supporters’ Race Night Sat 10 Nov Afternoon Sidcup DCF Sat 1 Dec (Provisional) tba St Olave’s School Viva Acappella Show Fri 7 Dec Evening Working Men’s Club, Essex Road, Dartford, DA1 2AU Sat 8 Dec tba Langley Park School Sun 16 Dec (Provisional) The Glades, Bromley, BR1 1DN Thur 17 Jan tba McDermott's, Addington, CR0 9AS Fish and Chips Supper

Acafellas Diary Dates

Date Time Venue Function

Fri 19 Oct (Provisional) tba Brixton Leisure Centre SW9 8QQ Fri 23 Nov 10.30am Goodmead Centre, Orpington Mon 3 Dec (Provisional) 8.30pm Rochester Masonic Lodge, Gundulph Square, ME1 1QD Wed 5 Dec 2.00pm The Warren Luncheon Club

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while trav- Jack?' elling in France ): Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand”

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly 'If I register my car in France, do I have to change the states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.

Answers to puzzles.

TRIATHLON WATERPOLO ATHLETICS ATHLETICS WATERPOLO TRIATHLON

X = 16 The other numbers are: are: numbers other The 16 = X

Olympics Banter Page 6 6 Page Banter Olympics Puzzle from Al Page 7 7 Page Al from Puzzle

Copy Deadline for September/October Issue - Thursday 13th September Articles, comments, views, reports, photographs etc... please submit them to the Editor as early as possible but by 13th September at the latest. By hand, post, email or telephone.