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Supporting , , Bisexual & (LGBT) Callers

An Introduction for Samaritans Volunteers

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Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Appendix Good PracticeGuidelines The ‘SupportingLGBT Lives’Study Definitions Introduction Contents 14 10 2 4 1 30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 1 reference list. appendix containsalistofLGBT organisations andservicesinIrelandaswellareading eliminate. TheguideincludesgoodpracticeguidelinesforSamaritansvolunteersandthe They canalsofacechallengesandbarrierswhichSamaritansvolunteershelpreduceor someone callingSamaritans,therearespecificissuesthat LGBT callersmaybefacing. understand theissuescallersmaybedealingwith.Inadditiontogeneralreasonsfor of thecircumstancesandexperiencesLGBT peopleinIrelandsothattheymaybetter non-judgemental listeningservicetoLGBT callers.Itaimstoadvancetheirunderstanding This guideiswrittenforSamaritansvolunteerstosupporttheminprovidingaconfidential, heterosexual ornon-transgender people. where relationshipsbetweenLGBT peopleareseenasnodifferenttorelationshipsbetween are includedandnotdiscriminatedagainstinlegislationserviceprovision; about theiridentityathome,inworkandwithinthewidercommunity;whereL today shouldbeaplacewhereallLGBT peoplecanfeelsafeandconfidentaboutbeingopen or genderidentityforfearofnegativereactionsfromthepeoplearoundthem.Ireland intolerance, discriminationandinequality. Manyfeelthattheyneedtohidetheirsexual However, manylesbian,gay, bisexualandtransgender membersofsocietystillexperience has widenedandevolvedtobecomemuchmoreinclusive. identity aswellpartnershipandfamilystructures,ourdefinitionofwhatis‘normal’ couple. Now,asasociety, wearebecomingmorecomfortablewithmanydifferentformsof norm thatmanypeopleinIrelandrecognisedwasofheterosexualityandaheterosexual years andoursocietyhasseenmanypositivechanges.Notlongagotheonlysexualorgender Life inIrelandhasimprovedforlesbian,gay, bisexualandtransgender (LGBT) peopleinrecent Introduction GLEN –Gay&LesbianEqualityNetwork Director ofMentalHealthPolicy Odhrán Allen GBT people 30/06/2010 15:35:02

1 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 2

2 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers expressing one’s genderidentity. transgender (regardlessofone’s biologicalsex).Genderexpressionreferstooutwardly to women.Manylesbianspreferbecalledlesbianratherthangay another genderidentity. full-time inanothergender. Transgender peoplecanidentifyastranssexual,transvestiteor atypical willidentifyasatransgender person.Manytransgender peoplelivepart-timeor associated withtheirbirthsex.Noteveryone whoseappearanceorbehaviourisgender- (internal feelingofbeingmaleorfemale)and/orgenderexpression,differsfromthat (MTF)transsexualsortranswomen. trans men.Biologicalmaleswhowishtoliveandberecognisedaswomenarecalledmale-to- who wishtoliveandberecognisedasmenarecalledfemale-to-male(FTM)transsexualsor of transitioningfromonegendertoanotheriscalledreassignment.Biologicalfemales surgery, tomaketheirbodiesfitasmuchpossiblewithpreferredgender. Theprocess assigned atbirth. peoplecanseekmedicalinterventions,suchashormonesand attracted topeopleofbothsexes. 1 Transvestite Transsexual people Identity: Transgender orTrans Bisexual: Gay: Lesbian: Definitions transsexual. dressing) aswellintheirmotivesfordoingso.Asmall numbercangoontoidentifyas gender. Theyvaryinhowcompletelytheydress(fromonearticleofclothingtofullycross- sub-group. Cross-dresserssometimeswearclothesconsideredappropriatetoadifferent better reflectstheiridentity. because ofthenegativehistoricalassociationswiththiswordandgay women prefertobecalledlesbian.Mostgaypeopledon’tlikereferredashomosexual The wordgaycanbeusedtorefergenerallylesbian,andbisexualpeoplebutmany and AnswerstoYour QuestionsAboutTransgender IndividualsandGenderIdentity(APA, 2006) DefinitionsadaptedfromMoreThanaPhase(Pobal, 2006),ForaBetterUnderstandingofSexualOrientation (APA, 2008) A gaymanisonewhoromantically, sexuallyand/oremotionallyattractedtomen. A lesbianwomanisonewhoromantically, sexuallyand/oremotionallyattracted A bisexualpersonissomeonewhoromantically, sexuallyand/oremotionally orcross-dressingindividualsarethoughttocomprisethelargest transgender One’s genderidentityreferstowhetheronefeelsmale,femaleor liveorwishtofulltimeasmembersofthegenderotherthanthat is anumbrellatermusedtodescribepeoplewhosegenderidentity 1

. 30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 3 they cancausehurtandoffencetolesbian,gaybisexualpeople. attributed toa‘’.Whilehomophobiccommentsorattitudesareoftenunintentional, with ignorance,prejudiceandstereotypingthanthephysiologicalreactionsusually people whohavethosefeelings.Thetermwasfirstusedinthe1970sandismoreassociated bisexual people.Itisalsothedislikeofsame-sexattractionandloveorhatred treatment, andsurgery. hormonal documents, identity on gender of change change, name a grooming, and clothing in changes involves typically Transitioning process. transition the through going are they when people for helpful very also is organisations community transgender and groups support peer through people transgender other with Connecting expression. gender their to changes gradual making by gender, different a in full-time living to up work typically They transition oftenstartby expressingtheirgenderidentityinsituationswheretheyfeelsafe. to wish who People process. complex a be can and publicly lived is gender someone’s they choose. how and when others with this share to i.e. disclose, to decision their and identity LGBT their about honesty and openness self-acceptance, discovery, of experience their describe hurt andoffencetotransgender people. expression. Whiletransphobiccommentsorattitudesareoftenunintentional,theycancause transgender orwhoareperceivedtotransgress normsofgender, genderidentityor Gender Reassignment refers heterosexual, homosexual(gayandlesbian)bisexual. of otherswhosharethoseattractions.Threesexualorientationsarecommonlyrecognised– of identitybasedonthoseattractions,relatedbehaviours,andmembershipinacommunity attractions tomen,women,orbothsexes.Sexualorientationalsorefersaperson’ is the term used by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people to to people (LGBT) transgender and bisexual gay, lesbian, by used term the is referstofearoforprejudiceanddiscriminationagainstlesbian,gay referstoanenduringpatternofemotional,romantic,and/orsexual to fearoforprejudiceanddiscriminationagainstpeoplewhoare is the process of changing the way way the changing of process the also calledtransitioning,is s sense 30/06/2010 15:35:02

3 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 4

4 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers supports theminovercomingthesebarriers.Thekeyfindingsarebelow. comprehensive insightintothechallengesandbarriersLGBT peoplefaceanddescribeswhat very goodpictureofwhatitisliketogrowupandliveinIrelandasanL study oflesbian,gay, bisexualandtransgender peopleinIrelandto-date.Thereportgivesa and in-depthinterviewswerecarriedoutwith40LGBT people.Itisthemostcomprehensive The onlinesurveygatheredinformationfrom1,110LGBT people(agesrangedfrom14to73) among Ireland’s LGBT population. young people.Theresearchalsoaimedtoidentifymentalhealthriskandresiliencefactors the lesbian,gay, bisexualandtransgender populationinIreland,withspecialemphasison The aimoftheresearchwastoidentifyandprovideresponsesissuesuicideamong launched by MaryHarney, MinisterforHealthin2009. College DublinandtheSchoolofEducation,UniversityDublin.Thereportwas Prevention (NOSP).Theresearchwascarriedoutby theChildren’s ResearchCentre,Trinity by GLENandBeLonGTo Youth Serviceandwasfundedby theHSE’s NationalOfficeforSuicide stresses thatcallersmaybeexperiencing.TheSupportingLGBT Livesstudywascommissioned experiences andcircumstancesofLGBT peopleinIrelandaswelltherangeofLGBT-specific The SupportingLGBT Livessectionofthisguidewillincreasevolunteers’appreciationthe The ‘SupportingLGBT Lives’Study GBT person.Itgivesa 30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 5 > > > > > > > > > > Minority Stress LGBT People’s ExperiencesofVictimisation > > > > > > > > > > The greaterthesupport,inclusionandequalityforLGBT people,thelesserminoritystress. 15% hadbeenverballythreatenedand17%physically b because theywereLGBT 25% ofthosewhohadeverworkedbeencalledabusivenamesatwork 25% hadbeenpunched,kickedorbeatenbecauseoftheirLGBT identity 40% hadbeenthreatenedwithphysicalviolence 80% hadbeenverballyabusedbecauseoftheirLGBT identity (Male-to-Female Trans, 30) it’s justdifficult” I justfindithardwherelive,theareathatliveintotryandhidesomething,this, I needtochangethewaylookandmyfamilydon’t knowaboutmysituationasofyet. “Well everyday it’s stressful,Ihavetogoworkandit’s notgood,thewayIfeel,feel (Lesbian, Female,54) be anoutsiderinsociety” dresses andgettingmarriedhavingchildrenalltherestofit,justthatIwould “I stillhadtodealwithitinmyheadthat,eventhoughIneverdreamtofwedding Being LGBT higher riskofdevelopingmentalhealthproblems. for LGBT people(thisiscalledminoritystress)andstressplacesLGBT peopleat However, stigma,,harassmentandinequalitycauseparticularstresses misuse ormentalhealthproblemssuchasanxietydepression. Most LGBT peopleneverself-harm,attemptsuicideandhaveserioussubstance (Gay, Male,24) and stuffIwasafraidaswell,feltveryaloneinside andthedrinkwasmybestfriend” andstufflike that. Itdidkillmealothearingyouwould becallingfaggot knowthewords “I’m surepeopleknewIwasgayyou know,Ididwalkupthrough(ruralvillage) andpeople of theirLGBT identity 10% missed work because they were afraid of being hurt or felt threatened because per seisnotindicativeoforcorrelatedwithhavingmentalhealthproblems. y workcolleagues

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5 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 6

6 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers > > > > > > LGBT Experiencesincluding ‘ComingOut’ > > > > > > 17 years = 7 years = The periodpriortocomingoutwasparticularlystressfulbecauseoffearrejectionandisolation before comingout 12 years = then you’re notlivinghereanymore.” be goingonto,likeactuallytohormonetherapy, shewaslike,“Ifyou’re doingthat are feelingmasculineandtheyfinewithitI’m, evenagainwhenItoldhermay that itwasjustaphaseandthenshetryingtotellme liketherearesomewomenwho my bodyyet andshewas,wasveryshockedatfirst.Thentriedto convince herself and thenItoldher… thatbasicallymygenderdoesn’t getmysex.Mymotherdoesn’t get open inthewayIcarriedmyself, mygesturesandshesawthatwasveryscared I havegivenhintstoher… whenIstartedexploringmyidentity, Iprobablybecamemore she isveryhomophobic…solikeIhavenodoubtthatshe’s transphobicaswellbecause “… (mymother)comesfromaveryconservative,religiousbackgroundandasresult (Gay, Male,17) the closettolookinside.” are inthecloset.Noonecanseeyou; theyseethisdoorbecausenoone’s everopenedup couldn’t bemyselfforthosesixyears anditis,again,it’s calledintheclosetbecauseyou you comeoutyou havetodealwithitallyourself andittookmesixyears to.AndI “Coming outisprobablyoneofthemostextremeanddifficultthingsy (Gay Male,Aged46) much sufferingorpain.” difficulties inthe years afterleavingschoolandIwasluckythatthisdidnotcausemetoo However thelackofknowledgeandunderstandingdidcausemealotwastedtime protected mefromdirectdiscriminationinschoolasitwasnotsomethingtalkedabout. describe myexperience.Itmayevenbethatthelackoflanguageandopennessalso “My sexualidentitywashiddenevenfrommyselfbecauseIdidnothavealanguageto inequality ineveryday life. negative schoolandworkexperiences;experiencesofharassment,victimisation There are3commonLGBT-specific stresses:fearofrejectionwhenconsideringcomingout; social, emotionandvocationaldevelopment For young peoplethis7year periodcoincideswithpuberty, schoolandacriticalperiodof (Female-to-Male Trans, 20) the average number of years LGBT people conceal their identity from others mostcommonagetorealiseyou areLGBT mostcommonagetostartcomingoutothers(average21)

ou cando.Before

30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 7 > > > > > > > > > > > LGBT SchoolExperiences LGBT MentalHealthRisks > > > > > > > > > > > 17.7% hadattemptedsuicideonce;almost3/4ofwhom sawthisattemptasrelated age offirstself-harming.40%femalesand20% male respondentshadself-harmed 27% hadself-harmedand4/5ofthesedidsomorethanonce.15.5y (Gay, Male,23) abuse Igot…jumpedon,calledpuff, queeretc.” even thoughIwasn’t outatschool.Iwasforcedtoleavemyjuniorcert,duethe should westepin,costheyaren’t sayinganythingwrong”attitudetowardsgaypeople... care, asIthinkitwasacaseof“welltheycallhimgayandheprobablyis “I leftschoolbecauseofthehurtandsufferingIgotinschool,teachersdidn (Bisexual, Female,18) will notpayformyeducation” bisexual” andgotawarningthatifIdatedgirlsincollegeorhadgayfriendsmyparents be repeated.Iwasalsosenttoacounsellorinthehopeitwould“talkmeoutofbeing did NOTHING inthewayofpolicyafterwardssoitcouldpotentiallyandprobablywill the jeeringhewasgettingforbeingsuspectedofgay. Yet theschoolhewasin “I lostaclosefriendtosuicideearlierthisyear ashecouldn’t facecomingoutand 5% leftschoolearlybecauseofhomophobicbullying 8% werecalledhomophobicnamesby teachers at schoolbecausetheywereLGBT 20% missedorskippedschoolbecausetheyfeltthreatenedwereafraidofgettinghurt 34% reportedhomophobiccommentsby teachers 40% verballythreatenedand25%physicallyby schoolpeers Over 50%hadbeencalledabusivenamesrelatedtotheirLGBT identityby fellowstudents 58% reportedhomophobicbullyingintheirschools are atriskforsuicidality This indicatesthatasignificantsub-groupof young of LGBT young peopleinparticular Over 50%ofthoseaged25years andunderhadseriouslythoughtaboutending theirlives and15%ofmalesattemptedsuicideatleastonce to theirLGBT identity. 17.5years wastheaverageageoffirstsuicideattempt.25% ears wastheaverage , sowhy ’t 30/06/2010 15:35:02

7 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 8

8 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers > > > > > LGBT Well-Beingand GoodMentalHealth > > > > > my teenageyears …Ispentfourorfive years inthatstate.” and Icouldn’t evencometotermswithitmyself…Imeanneversleptanynightduring and, you know,Ihadyears ofknotsinmystomachandIhadn’t discusseditwithanyone “… itwaskindoflikeIhadtocomeoutbecausevery, verydepressedatthetime people reactedtomebeinggaywascertainlypartofwhat madelifeveryhardinthepast” support ofmyfriendsandtwosisters…beinggay wasnevermyproblembuthow gay man,fullyoutandveryhappy tobegay. Ihavegrownandthrivedwiththelove “I amhappy toconcludeby sayingthatIamnowaverycontent,confident,well-adjusted Mental healthresilience(i.e.theabilitytocopewithminoritystress)wasrelatedto: mental health communities, schoolsorworkplacesarecriticalforLGBT people’s well-beingandgood Support offamily(parentsinparticular)andfriendsaswellpositiveexperiences Over 2/3havecomeouttoalltheirimmediatefamilyandfriends and themajorityhavegoodself-esteemaresatisfiedwiththeirlives 81% ofparticipantsinthestudysaidtheyarenowcomfortablewiththeirL stigmatisation, harassmentanddiscrimination,livehappy andsatisfyinglives adequate supportmostLGBT peopledevelopresiliencetothestresscausedby Minority stressexposesasignificantpercentageof LGBT peopletosuicidality. Given (Lesbian, Female,28) work washorrible.” been treatedinmylifeasalesbian.Schoolwasterribleandthentogetbulliedbadly “I’ve beensuicidalmanytimes…It’s notbecauseI’malesbianbutofhowI’ve (Gay, Male,43) (Gay, Male,35) • • • • • Positive schoolorworkexperiences Developing positivecopingstrategiesandgoodself-esteem Support fromLGBT communityorganisations andservices A positiveturnaboutorlifeeventsuchasthetransitionoutofsecondaryschool Acceptance andsupportfromfamilyfriends GBT identity, 30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 9 > > > > > > > > LGBT Young People > > > > > > > > (Lesbian, Female,31) doesn’t matter” one bit,andhewasgreat,mymotherlike,em,theystillloveme,d’y me, pulledmeoffmyseat,gavehugandsaid,doyou knowwhat,thatdoesn’t matter “So Itoldthembothwasgayandmyfatherstraightawaystoodupwentoverto identity andsatisfiedwiththeirlives learn tocopewithminoritystressandreportthattheyarehapp With appropriatesupportandprotectionfromminoritystress,themajorityofL vulnerability fordepression,self-harmandsuicidalbehaviour For asignificantminorityof LGBT people,theadolescent years areatimeofparticular services havethepotentialtoprovidevitalsupportsyoung peopleandtheirfamilies Appropriate andaccessibleyouth services,personalsupportservicesandfamily The researchrevealsthathomophobicbullyingisnotbeingeffectivelyaddressed Schools haveanimportantroletoplayinprotectingandsupportingy may encounter LGBT people as they come out and this support acts as a protectiveFriends buffer and ,against stressesbut parents they in particular, have a crucial role to play in supportingAcceptance andsupportwhencomingoutiscriticaltogoodmentalhealthwell-being young for young people The periodbetweenknowingyou areLGBT andtellingotherscanbeparticularlystressful Most young peopleknowtheyareLGBT atage12andstartcomingout17 (Lesbian, Female,26) have beeneasiertoacceptifsocietywasalittlemoreunderstanding” “I amproudtobealesbianbutittookmelongtimeacceptmysexualityandwould (Male-to-Female Trans, 37) a problem” me oranythinglikethat.I’vealwayshadthesupportat hometobeme;it’ home, anddoyou know,Ihaven’t hadproblemswithfamilymembersorpeopledisowning “At themomentlifeisverygood, you knowIhaveno problem…Ihavethesupportat y, comfortablewiththeir oung LGBT people. s neverbeen ou know,it GBT people

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9 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 10 10 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers > > > > > > > > > > > > not berelatedtotheirLGBT identity. LGBT-specific issuesthatcallersmaybefacinginclude: callers may be experiencing. The reason for an LGBT person calling the Samaritans may or may and circumstances of LGBT people in Ireland as well as the range of LGBT-specific stresses that The SupportingLGBT Lives section of this guide will help volunteers appreciate the experiences Be awareofLGBT issues andstresses providing aconfidential,non-judgementallisteningserviceto LGBT callers. The followinggoodpracticeguidelinesareprovidedtosupportSamaritansvolunteersin Good PracticeGuidelines crisis orneed. Samaritans volunteerscanprovide LGBT callers withenormousemotionalsupportattimesof showed theimportantrolesupportplaysinpreventingLGBT self-harmand suicidalbehaviour. same confidentialandnon-judgementallisteningresponse. The LGBT callersshouldberespondedtointhesamewayasotherand provided withthe > > > > > > > > > > > > Questioning sexualorientationorgenderidentity Being exposedtoharmful‘reparative’or‘conversion’ –areligious-based therapy have ontheirchildrenoraccesstocustodyof children about theimpactthatopennesstheirsexualorientationorgenderidentitymay friends, theircommunity, schoolsandserviceproviders.LGBT parentsmayalsobeanxious LGBT parentsmaybeanxiousaboutthelevelofsupporttheywillreceivefromfamilyand Hiding andsecrecy–LGBT personwhoisinaheterosexualmarriageorcross-dressing or absenceoflong-termrelationship Isolation andloneliness–nocontactwithLGBT community, livinginnon-urbanarea Relationship crisis–conflictordomesticviolence not comingout,bereavementorrelationshipbreak-up Loss –lossofopportunitiesandexperiencesbecauselackrightsrecognition, placement (e.g.ethosofnursinghome) Older LGBT people–lackofsocialsupport,isolationandfearsaboutlong-term andstereotyping Being exposedtonegativemessagesaboutbeingLGBT includingstigmatisation, Homophobic ortransphobicbullyingharassmentinschool,workplaceotherenvironments Lack ofacceptanceorsupportfromfamilyandfriends Fear ofcomingoutorunable/notwantingtocome proven tobeharmfulLGBT people’s mentalhealth that attemptstochangeaperson’s sexualorientationorgenderidentitybuthasbeen Supporting LGBT Livesstudy

30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 11 Don’t assumeallcallersareheterosexualornottransgender for younger LGBT people,soprovidingthecallerwithanopportunitytotalkaboutcoming their lives.Comingoutispotentiallyalsoatimeofheightened mentalhealthrisk,particularly experience ofcomingoutshowsthemthatyou understandthatthisisan importantpartof Coming outisanimportanttimeinLGBT people’s livesandaskingLGBT callersabouttheir Respond supportivelywhenpeopledisclose theyareLGBT non-transgender brothersandsisters. people canface,mostlivelivesthatareassatisfyingandfulfillingtheirheterosexual their child’s future.MostparentscometorealiseovertimethatdespitethechallengesLGBT about aperceivedlossofgrandchildrenandotheraspectswhattheyimaginedorhopedfor feel asenseoflosstheassumedheterosexualityorgendertheirchild.Theymaybeupset with theirchild’s disclosure.Theymayexpressconcernsabouttheirchild’s well-beingand of theirchild’s LGBT identity. However, someparentsmayhaveahardertimecomingtoterms comes outasLGBT, theycanacceptandsupporttheirchildadapttothenewawareness Parents ofLGBT childrenmayalsocallSamaritans.Formostparentswhosesonordaughter them explicitly. be toothreatening.Theaboveisanexampleofhowyou canhintatthesewithoutstating For somecallers,usinglanguagelike‘sexualorientation’,‘gay’,‘trans issue, you couldtryaskingsomethinglike: you couldenquireaboutrelationshipsbothcurrentandpast.IfsomeoneishintingatanLGBT judgemental service.Ifitisappropriatetotheconversationyou arehavingwiththecaller them thatallpersonalinformationdisclosedisconfidentialandy to you. Inthisinstance,aswithanysensitivematter, you cansupportthem by reassuring A situationthatmayariseisyoutodisclosetheirLGBT thinkacallerisstruggling identity being LGBT thatmayberelevanttotheirreasonsforcallingSamaritans. to disclosetheirsexualorientationorgenderidentityyou ortodiscussissuesrelated orientation orgenderidentity, you aredemonstratingtoLGBT callersthattheyarewelcome have comeout.Bykeepinganopenmindandnotmakingassumptionsaboutcallers’sexual have ahistoryofrelationshipswithmembersthesamesex.Suchcallersmayornot Any personwhocallsSamaritansmayidentifyasgay, lesbian,bisexualortransgender or has thatbeenonyour mind?” “It soundsasifyou arequestioningyour feelings/your orientation/your identity… gender’ and ‘LGBT’ may gender’ and‘LGBT’ ou provideanon- 30/06/2010 15:35:02

11 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 12 12 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers > > > > > > need totalkaboutthechallengesthisdecisionpresents fromtimetotime. environments). Eventhoughsomeonemaymakethedecisionnottocomeout,theystill would bedetrimentaltotheirlifeinsomeway(e.g.homophobia/transphobiacertainwork out becausetheyaremarried,partofareligiousorderorperceiveit life haveverygoodpersonalreasonsforthis.Forothercallers,theymaynotbeabletocome is notnecessarilythecase.Mostpeoplewhoareouttosomeorallofintheir respected. Whileyou mayassumethatcomingoutwouldbethebestthingforperson,this Some LGBT peoplewhocallSamaritansmaynotwanttocomeoutandthisshouldbe such adeclaration. avoid theassumptionthatyoung peoplearegoingthroughaphaseortooyoung tomake lesbian, gay, bisexualortransgender, respondinanaffirmativeandsupportiveway. Try to and thisshouldbedealtwithinasensitivemanner. Ifapersontellsyou theymaybeorare have fullyacceptedtheirLGBT identityormayonlybeintheveryinitialstagesofcomingout disclose theiridentityinthecourseofconversationwithy LGBT callerswhoarecallingSamaritansforreasonsunrelatedtotheirLGBT identitymay about comingoutandtheirlifeexperiencesrelatedtobeingLGBT include: If itisappropriatetotheconversationyou arehavingwiththecaller, waysofaskingacaller supported willfacilitatetheirprocessofself-acceptanceandcomingout. feelings orabouttheirgenderidentity. Helpingyoung peopletofeelsafeand questioning theirsexualorientationorgenderidentityseekinghelpinclarifyingromantic out mayprovidethemwithmuchneededsupport.Young LGBT peopleinparticularmaybe > > > > > > “Does anyone knowyou arelesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender?” “Have you hadanynegativeexperiencessincecomingout?” Are theysupportive?” “Are there lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender people you know that you can talk to? “Who/what hashelpedyou withcomingout?” “How havethingsbeenforyou sinceyou cameout?” “Have you comeouttoanyone inyour family?” ou. Othercallersmaynot

30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 13 using thesetermsare: formal touse.Waysoftalkingaboutacaller’s sexualorientationorgenderidentitywithout identity whenreferringtotheirLGBT identity. Forsomevolunteersthesewordsmayfeeltoo one’s genderidentity. ItismorehelpfulforLGBT callersifyou usethewordsorientationor lesbian, gay, bisexualortransgender isnotapreference-itone’s sexualorientationor Avoid referringtoacaller’s LGBT identityastheir‘preference’or‘lifestyle’.Being Use LGBT-inclusive languageandquestions/statements callers. Thefollowingaresomeexamplesofinclusivequestionsandstatements: caller, usethetermslesbian,gayorbisexualinsteadoftermhomosexualwhentalkingto heterosexual orofacertaingender. Whenappropriatetoaconversationyou arehavingwitha questions isaverygoodwayofdemonstratingtocallersthatyou arenotassumingthey that assumesheterosexualityandgenderidentitywithallcallers.Usingopenlanguage As anycallertoSamaritansmayidentifyasLGBT, itisimportanttoavoidusinglanguage You seemlikeastrongman/womantome. What isyour husband/wife’s name? Do you haveagirlfriend/boyfriend? Are you married? Instead of: EXAMPLES OFINCLUSIVE QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS “It soundslikeit’s beendifficultfor you tobe yourself” “What’s itbeenlikeforyou sinceyou startedexpressingyourself openly?” You seemlikeastrongpersontome. What isyour partner’s name? Are you inarelationship? Do you haveapartner? Use: 30/06/2010 15:35:02

13 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 14 14 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers LGBT CentresandGroups to localbranches.Alistoffurtherreadingisalsoincluded. provide you withfurtherinformationonLGBT peopleandmaybeavailabletoprovidetraining The followingisalistofLGBT servicesandorganisations inIreland.Theseorganisations can Appendix ProjectDerry Rainbow ProjectBelfast (LASI) Lesbian AdvocacyServicesInitiative Northern Ireland (TENI) Transgender EqualityNetworkIreland South Waterford Rainbow SupportServiceMidwest Outwest Ireland Outhouse CommunityCentreDublin The OtherPlace(Cork) L.inC (LesbiansinCork) ’s HealthService Dundalk Outcomers Republic ofIreland (028) 71283030 (028) 90319030 (028) 27641463 085147 7166 01-6334687 086-2147633 061-310101 087-9725586 01-8734932 021-4278470 021-4808600 01-8734952 042-9329816 www.rainbow-project.org www.rainbow-project.org www.lasionline.org www.teni.ie com www.southgroup.wetpaint. rainbowsupportservices.org www. www.outwestireland.ie www.outhouse.ie com www.theotherplacecork. www.linc.ie [email protected] www.outcomers.org 30/06/2010 15:35:02 Samaritans.indd 15 LGBT social,culturalandsportinggroupsorganisations andonlineforums. Check GayCommunityNews,themonthlyLGBT magazine,atwww.gcn.ieforadetailedlistof Social, sportsandculturalactivities Support forParents ofLGBT People Support forYoung LGBT People For afulllistofLGBT youth supportsseewww.belongto.org Parent SupportinCork LOOK (Parent Support) (GLYNI) Gay &LesbianYouth NorthernIreland BeLonG To Youth Service 021-4304884 087-2537699 07707 216921 01-6706223 [email protected] www.lovingouroutkids.org www.glyni.org.uk [email protected] 30/06/2010 15:35:02

15 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 16 16 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Further Reading LGBT Young People Parents ofLGBT People LGBT MentalHealth Sexual Orientation www.belongto.org produced by BeLonGTo Youth Serviceandareavailableat: Various bookletsandreportsonLGBT young peoplehavebeen information ontheirwebsite:www.lovingouroutkids.ie parents ofLGBT peoplesince1980andthereisveryuseful LOOK (LovingOurOutKids)havebeenprovidingsupportto is availableontheGLENwebsiteon:www.glen.ie Mayock, DrAudreyBryan, NicolaCarrandKarlKitchingit The SupportingLGBT Livesreportwaswrittenby DrPaula www.apa.org/topics/sexuality/transgender.pdf available ontheirwebsiteat: Transgender IndividualsandGenderIdentity’thisis an excellentbookletcalled‘Answers toYour QuestionsAbout The AmericanPsychological Associationhavealsoproduced org/topics/sexuality/sorientation.pdf Association andisavailableontheirwebsiteat:www.apa. & Homosexualitywasproducedby theAmericanPsychological The bookletForaBetterUnderstandingofSexualOrientation 30/06/2010 15:35:03 Samaritans.indd 17 30/06/2010 15:35:03

17 Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Callers - An Introduction for Samaritans’ Volunteers Samaritans.indd 18 30/06/2010 15:35:03