sign in sign up
<<
Home , Gay, GLAAD, LGBT

Talking About LGBT People & Equality & People LGBT About Talking AN ALLY’S GUIDE TO GUIDE TO AN ALLY’S TALKINGTERMINOLOGY ABOUT and and is clearer is clearer identity instead. (s) and being on the next page for more information.) more nexton the for page is an adjective, not a noun; it is sometimes used not a noun; it is sometimes used is an adjective, issues or not yet supportive—though issues or not yet essential it is supportive and strongly when talking LGBT to audience your allows that the term Use audiences. on the message without creating focused stay to meaning. intended about your confusion or that suggests prior deception “admitted” term The is shameful. being gay may identify as gay, the term the term as gay, identify may when talking or women. only about a “homosexual” like activists Anti-gay often words use to their lives reducing people by gay stigmatize to terms. sexual purely can, in “” about a person’s Talking purely person to of that the life reduce some cases, about Talk terms. sexual pejorative. is considered “lesbianism” term The anti-gay is used by preference” “sexual term The and is a choice, activists being gay suggest that to the Similarly, “cured.” can be changed or therefore people gay stigmatize is used to lifestyle” “gay term only should be viewed their lives and suggest that not talk Just as one would lens. a sexual through “gay talk about a don’t lifestyle,” “straight about a lifestyle.” orientation sexual Reference when talking about issues pertaining both. (See to and confusing be can “LGBT” abbreviation The unfamiliar with the those who are for alienating Gay lesbian as a shorthand gay, encompassing term not transgender (though orientations and bisexual while many people or gender identity). Also, Explanation - www.lgbtmap.org/talking-about-lgbt-issues-series Terms to Avoid to Terms

“admitted he was he was “admitted gay” “homosexuality” “lesbianism” (a so gay.” “That’s hurtful slur) preference” “sexual lifestyle” “gay “homosexual lifestyle” “same- attractions” identity” “sexual (when talk “LGBT” ing with those who unfamiliar with are the issues or not supportive)yet “homosexual” “He (n.) (as in, “gay” is a gay.”) • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • is more accessible without being overwhelming). accessible is more series, available online at online at available series, , provides additional recommendations and resources. additional recommendations , provides “She is openly lesbian.” “She is openly lesbian.” “He is openly bi.” / “laws that protect protect that “laws and transgender gay people” “She talked about “She talked about being gay.” person’s “a orientation” “ can be a complex A person’s topic. is…” orientation “gay people” “gay /men” “gay “lesbian couple” “bi men and women” is a / ”She “He is gay.” “He is bi.” / lesbian.” Usage Examples Usage gay and transgender gay and transgender (if (if

(adj., if if (adj., Talking About LGBT Issues LGBT About Talking (n. or adj.) (n. or adj.) (adj.) (adj.) Terms to Use to Terms openly gay lesbian, gay, lesbian, gay, and bisexual transgender clarity)needed for clarity) and transgender gay orientation orientation sexual reference, (on first if needed for clarity) being gay gay lesbian bi bisexual needed on first for reference • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • GAY, LESBIAN & BI & LESBIAN GAY, INTRODUCTION www..org/talkingabout Designed for new allies who want to support LGBT Americans but often face an array of confusing terminology and language, and language, terminology of confusing an array Americansoften but face supportto want who new allies LGBT for Designed talkingfor various few key messages about a and avoid, to terms this shortoverviewvocabulary, an of essential guide offers issues. The but it can be confusing and alienating to people who don’t understand what it means (for many media and mainstream mainstream media and many (for it means understand what people who don’t to and alienating be confusing but it can the term audiences, TALKING a powerful(LGBT) transgender and impact bisexual and issues can have people gay, talk about lesbian, to use we words The or confusion. distance hearts create while others can and minds, can help open people’s words right The on our conversations. equality, transgender bi and lesbian, gay, for the movement used within is commonly “LGBT” the abbreviation example, For ABOUT that gender. decide theymustlive theirlives asthegendertheyhave always themselves known to be, transition andoften to livingas expression isdifferent from thesex that was assignedAt somepoint intheirlives,to them at birth. transgender people The term TRANSGENDER • • • • • • • • gender identity transgender transition Terms to Use transgender (adj.) refers personfeels to (thesenseofgenderthat inside)orgender every peoplewhosegenderidentity Usage Examples transitioning lastyear.” “She began orexpression.”identity regardless ofgender be treated fairly, “Everyone should inclusion” “transgender advocate” “transgender “transgender person” • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • “” “transvestite” “” (n.) “a transgender” (n.) “transgendered” “pre-op” /”post-op” “post-operative” “pre-operative” / operation” “sex-change “” sense ofgender) a person’s internal identity tity” (use “transgender iden gender identity term(the correct is “”

Terms to Avoid to refer to gender )

- Explanation gender. When itisn’t possibleto askwhat pronoun be referred to usingpronouns consistent withthat gendershould a personwhoidentifies asa certain Always useatransgender person’s Also, chosenname. audiences. community, butmay notbeunderstood by general The shorthand person. use theterm “transvestite” to atransgender describe which connotes Never acondition ofsomekind. unnecessary “-ed” to theterm (“transgendered”), not to callsomeone “a transgender.” notaddan Do Transgender should beavoided. op” unnecessarily fixate onaperson’s anatomy and not or cannot undergo. Terms like “pre-op” or “post- on surgeries, whichmany transgender peopledo Transition interchangeable terms. a personoutwardly expresses theirgender)are not internal senseofgender)and male orfemale. Also, note that manyway; transgender peoplesimplyidentify as who is transgenderNot everyone identifies that expression. consistent withtheperson’s appearance andgender a personwould prefer, usethepronoun that is is the accurate term that does not fixate isanadjective, careful notanoun.Be trans is often usedwithintheLGBT isoften gender expression gender identity (one’s (how TALKING ABOUT . www.glaad.org and www.lgbtmap.org “Rights” language is generally unpersuasive with with unpersuasive language is generally “Rights” can be and civil rights comparisons most audiences, Americans. African to especially alienating like terms argumentative highly charged, Avoid alienate likely to which are “bigotry,” and “hate” and is measured use language that Instead, people. and a sense of how empathy create to relatable people. and actionsrejectingattitudes hurt LGBT unfairly an entire language that paints Avoid as being anti- or denomination tradition religious or extremist. gay Explanation , available at at , available Terms to Avoid to Terms

“rights” rights” “civil rights” “gay / “haters” / “hate” “hatred” / / ”bigots” “bigot” “bigotry” “” extremists/ “religious extremism” Christians” “anti-gay • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • - “This is the kind of and intoler exclusion our divides that ance community.” “Rejection one’s by can be the most hurtful of all.” “the hurtful rhetoric of anti-gay activists” “Everyone be should fairly and treated equally.” “She supports fairness and equality.” Usage Examples Usage Talking About LGBT Issues: Overall Approaches Issues: Overall LGBT About Talking “This is about everyday Americans who want the same chance as everyone else to pursue health and happiness, earn earn “This pursue health and happiness, as everyone else to the same chance who want is about everyday Americans Terms to Use to Terms anti-gay activistsanti-gay activistsfar-right rejection exclusion unfairness hurtfulness intolerance fairness and fairness and equality fairly and equally • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • neighbors, coworkers and friends who also walk the dog, mow the lawn, shop for groceries, etc. groceries, shop for the lawn, mow the dog, walk and friends who also coworkers neighbors, Make it about people and their stories, not policies. and their stories, it about people Make people are and transgender Gay ordinary who live lives. Americans everyday people are LGBT Remindthat people Use the language of common values, beliefs, hopes and dreams. beliefs, values, of common the language Use • • • • • • OVERVIEW: TALKING ABOUT EQUALITY FOR LGBT PEOPLE LGBT FOR EQUALITY ABOUT TALKING OVERVIEW: For more information, see information, more For For example: example: For of the ones they love.” care and take serve their country, be safe in their communities, a living, When talking about equality for LGBT people: talkingWhen LGBT about equality for When conversations about equality are rooted in the common ground we share, it’s difficult to cast LGBT people as being people as being LGBT cast to difficult it’s share, we ground in the common rooted equality about are conversations When like me.” “not the harms or dismiss and injustices ignore Americans to difficult for makes it more It also or “different” “,” thatface. people LGBT TALKING with resonate that ways compelling emotionally authentic, issues in those frame issues LGBT about conversations Effective values. people’s ABOUT couple ismarried, andit’s oneofthereasons why matters marriage to gay andstraight alike. barred from adyingpartner’s to say bedsideanddeniedtheability goodbye to thepersontheylove. That justdoesn’t happen whena orcivilunions. However,domestic partnerships note that couples inmany have states been same-sex that allow domesticpartnerships, Note www.glaad.org For more information, see conversationsIn to: couples, for itisimportant aboutmarriage same-sex TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES • • • • • • • • marriage matters—to you, andto thepeopleyou andlove. know Don’t bedrawn into debating opponents’ fear-based strategies. Instead, keep theconversation focused onwhy ofpeople’sothers—are at theheart journeys toward marriage. supporting Rule, peopleofhow intheGolden Remind ourshared freedom, beliefs—particularly andnot sitting injudgment of help peoplethinkabouthow they would feel ifsomeonetold themthat they couldn’t thepersonthey love. marry whenthey areHelp peopleunderstandandgrapplecouples shutoutofmarriage—and are withhow hurt same-sex promise to take care ofandberesponsible for eachother, for better andfor worse. Focus onthevalues ofmarriageandwhat marriageisabout:loving, committed couples whowant to make alifelong • • • • • • • • • • : aboutotherforms ofrelationshipThese canalsobehelpfulintalking approaches recognition, aboutmarriage for talking suchas denial ofmarriage marriage exclusion from marriage one you love care ofthetaking promise responsibility, love, commitment, Terms to Use and www.freedomtomarry.org Usage Examples An Ally’s Guideto Talking Couples for About Same-Sex Marriage anyone else.” don’t want to dothat to I the personIlove--and that Icouldn’t marry want anyone to tell me to betreated. Iwouldn’t others theway I want “I believe intreating to me.”seems hurtful because they’re gay— being married—just ness that comes with the chance at happi “Denying someone promise to takecare to make a lifelong couples whowant loving, committed isabout “Marriage times andbad. for eachother, ingood of andberesponsible - . • • • • • • • • “marriage benefits” “marriage rights” “same-sex marriage” “gay marriage”

Terms to Avoid Explanation for same-sex for same-sex commitment, responsibility andlove) that we share. thecommonexploring ground andvalues (like “exactly thesame” or “just thesame,” spendtime by usingphrases like shortcuts instead of taking share similarhopesanddreams for marriage. But Also, focus onhow gay andstraight couples alike care ofandbethere for eachother. ofacouple beingableto takeand theimportance responsibility that gay couples to bring marriage, this, focus onthevalues oflove, commitment and for only marry “rights” and “benefits.” To avoid There issometimesamisperception that gay couples marriage audiences. When possible, simplytalkabout toconfusion understandingfor andbarriers other couples, for itcancreateof marriage same-sex withthosewhoare supportive helpful whentalking Also, while theterm “marriage equality” canbe marriage.” isneeded, use additional clarity If couple of asame-sex “gay marriage” or “same-sex “elder marriage,” it is inappropriate to call the marriage inappropriate oftwo olderadults to callthemarriage asitcurrentlyof marriage exists. Justasitwould be similar reasons, andtheyseekto jointheinstitution Gay couples andstraightfor couples want to marry , withoutmodifiers. (or gay/gayandlesbian , available at www.lgbtmap.org ) couples . marriage , TALKING ABOUT

. ). ) non- www.sldn.org www.glaad.org ) to describe those describe those to and service members, troops, service troops, members, (a term that accurately describes describes accurately that (a term military personnel or www.lgbtmap.org Talking About Transgender-Inclusive Non- Transgender-Inclusive About Talking and In conversations about military In service, talk about conversations with Americans associate the ideas and ideals that “rights” talk about Don’t armed forces. our nation’s military about open service, which in conversations sacrifice, courage, about service, duty, is really patriotism, honor and integrity. There is a difference between referring to referring between is a difference There laws “fighting these kinds and talking of laws) about and unpersuasive which is generally discrimination,” partisan polarized, can lead to reactions. personnel serving applies only to “soldiers” term The Use Army. U.S. in the personnel armed forces. serving our nation’s throughout do and its repeal Tell Ask, Don’t Don’t that note Also, barred remain who people, transgender to apply not servicefrom other regulations. by Talking about “rights” in this context can make can make in this context “rights” about Talking false claims about people think about opponents’ It to can also make people resistant rights.” “special the idea of non-discrimination protections. Explanation Explanation . , available at available , “All hardworking people in our city/state, including gay and gay and including people city/state, in our hardworking “All ( www.glaad.org Terms to Avoid to Terms Terms to Avoid to Terms

“rights” “equality” “fighting “fighting discrimination” in the military” “gays (when “soldiers” to referring broadly the troops) “rights” “employment/ housing rights” • • • • • • • • • • • • • • and - “All residents should be treated fairly and equally by the laws of our city/state.” the laws by and equally fairly be should treated residents “All (

www.lgbtmap.org “Strong majorities of “Strong Americans support open military service and lesbian gay for personnel.” military“Open service is about serving one’s country with honor and integrity.” performing workers unfairly being from just because fired or trans gay they’re gender.” of our residents “All be treated should state fairly and equally.” “Thishigh- protects law Talking About Inclusive Employment Protections Employment Inclusive About Talking Talking About Ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Ask, Don’t Ending Don’t About Talking Usage Examples Usage Usage Examples Usage , available at at , available Terms to Use to Terms Terms to Use to Terms patriotism, honor, honor, patriotism, integrity lesbian) service members/troops/ personnel duty, service, sacrifice, courage, open military service (or open service) and (or gay gay treating people people treating fairly and equally employment/ workplace/housing protections • • • • • • • • • • Focus on how open military service—and ending the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ban—supports defense. national a strong Tell open military on how Ask, service—and Don’t Focus ending the Don’t open military that values the shared about service—and military serviceTalk itself—embodies. to live in fear that they can be legally fired for reasons that have nothing to do with their job to do with performance.” nothing reasons that have for be fired legally in fear that they can live to Fair and equal treatment, for everyone for treatment, and equal Fair earn a living to and the chance importance work The of hard Nobody should have their . and themselves for earn a living and provide to the chance should have people, transgender • • • • • • • • TALKING ABOUT OPEN MILITARY SERVICE MILITARY OPEN ABOUT TALKING TALKING ABOUT NON-DISCRIMINATION LAWS NON-DISCRIMINATION ABOUT TALKING For the latest updates on the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, visit Servicemembers Network ( Defense Legal Tell, Ask, Don’t of Don’t the repeal on updates the latest For When talkingWhen about open military service: For more information, see information, more For Discrimination Laws When talking about non-discrimination laws that protect LGBT people from being unjustly fired from their jobs, remind remind jobs, their from fired unjustly being from people talking When LGBT protect non-discrimination about that laws values: shared our common, people of TALKING ABOUT see information, more For For more information, see When engaging inconversations aboutadoption andparenting: TALKING ABOUT PARENTING & ADOPTION • • • • • • nothing to do with the ability tonothing to beagoodparent. dowiththeability AcademyAmerican ofPediatrics andtheChild Welfare League hasdetermined ofAmerica) that aperson’s orientation has and well-adjusted (includingthe asotherchildren. Also, onchildhealthandsocialservices credible authority every nearly being raised by gay orlesbianparents hasnoadversekids ofgay effectsonchildren, parents andthat are justashealthy reviewed research that examines outcomes for children raised by gay parents. This research consistently concludes that thatRemember research shows that children ofgay parents dojustfine. aboutaproposed banonadoptionby talking gayIf parents, focus onthree key points: can provide children withthelove, stability, andguidance theyneedto protection, succeed. security Focus onthebestinterests ofchildren, usingthelanguageofeveryday familylife. This isabout: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • dads two moms, two gay) parents (or lesbianand adoption by gay ing, caringparents adoption by lov child interests ofthe based onthebest basis case-by-case decisions ona adoption making ing, forever homes stability, andlov with love, security, providing children children and providing for care oftaking of children the bestinterests 3. 2. 1. Terms to Use All mainstream andpeer-reviewed childauthorities research adoptionby gay onparenting parents. support shouldmakeadoptiondecisions. authorities Experienced childhealthandsocialservice basisbasedonwhat isinthebestinterestsAdoption ofthechild. decisionsshouldbemadeonacase-by-case Laws. For downloadable versions, visit Talking About LGBT with Latinos, Equality anAlly’s Guideto Talking About andanAlly’s Marriage, Guide to Talking About Transgender-Inclusive Non-Discrimination Hate Laws, Crimes Adoption & GayParents, Suicide&LGBT Populations, EndingDon’t Don’t Ask, Tell, Talking About LGBT with , Equality This about ofdocuments isoneinaseries oneffectively talking LGBTOverall issues, alsoincluding: Approaches,Inclusive Employment Protections,Inclusive SERIES ABOUT THIS - - Talking About Adoption &GayParents Usage Examples thrive andsucceed.” that allows themto turing environment have the loving, nur sure that making they for children. It’s about ing safe, stable homes isaboutcreat “This happen to begay.” parentscaring who adopted by loving, homes from being inneedofforeverkids “We shouldn’t prevent www.lgbtmap.org/talking-about-lgbt-issues-series - - • • • • • • • • “adoption rights” “rights” couples” same-sex “adoption by gay/ “gay adoption”

Terms to Avoid , available at or www.glaad.org/talkingabout Explanation succeed. andguidance theyneedto thrivesecurity and provide children withthelove, stability, protection, —but rather onhow loving, LGBT caring parents can parenting andadoptionshouldnotfocus on “rights” love andprotection for Discussionsabout kids. Parenting andadoption are aboutproviding security, chance to finda forever homewithloving parents. emphasize what adoption means to kids—the Talking about Always keepthefocus onloving, parents. caring www.lgbtmap.org There’s alarge andgrowing bodyofpeer- Emphasize how LGBT caring parents parents . ©2012Movement Advancement Project (MAP). rather than “couples” helps and www.glaad.org . TALKING ABOUT 720-274-3263 212-629-3322 www.glaad.org www.lgbtmap.org , NY 10001 NY York, New 104 West 29th Street, 4th Floor 29th Street, West 104 2215 Market St. • Denver, CO 80205 CO 2215 Market • Denver, St.

TALKING ABOUT