Contributing Editors Authors Overall Approaches for LGBT Equality LGBT for Approaches Overall TALKING about talking ABOUT . arms H rete c ssues n I

o T Most Americans aren’t policy wonks. GB L bout A llustrate C I Most Americans simply don’t understand the inequalitiesLGBT people face on Americans a dailymistakenly basis.believe that For gay need example, tocouples get marriedwouldn’t many if they’d just get a power of attorney.Recent polling shows that nine out of 10 Americansrealize don’t that hardworking gay and transgender employeesare still not law—despite protected the by fact of that federal Americans Gallup support non-discrimination polling employment people. They shows protectionsdon’t realize 89% that for LGBT people gay are targeted helps Americans understand that the livesstraight and gay people aren’t and meaningfully different. values of Use the language of common values, hopes and beliefs Family. Hard work. Responsibility. Commitment. TheseDuty.are afew Sacrifice.of the common values shared byLGBT people and straight Americans alike. Talking about“rights,” “benefits” and “what gay people deserve”people doesunderstand either not the help issues or the importancesupporting them.of Use the language of values to show that thepursuit equalityof alsoisabout removing unfair barriers that prevent LGBT people from fulfilling theirto others—to obligationstheir loved ones, their families, their friends, their neighbors, their communities, and their country. Make your conversations about people and storytelling, not laws or policies. Complicated legal concepts and policy thinking. distinctionstheirofexistingintoretreat way or peopleout tune make Instead, talk about people. stories that draw attention Tell to committed couples who have emotionally compelling taken care of each other in sickness and in health, or show gay and transgender employees providing for their families and loved ones. Help Americans recognize LGBT people as part of the American fold. alking T und o pproaches for A n Gr o Use the language of common values, hopes and beliefs. values, the language of common Use or policies. not laws Make it about people and their stories, lives—neighbors, ordinary live who Americans everyday are people LGBT that people Remind etc. the lawn, mow the dog, walk their families, for and friends who also provide coworkers Avoid abstract “rights” and “discrimination” language. people. LGBT protect don’t laws Make existing it clear that stories. compelling emotionally with them illustrate and injustices meaningful few a on Focus • • • • • • • • • • • • Overall mm o earn a living, be safe in their communities, serve their country, and take care of the ones they love.” “This is about everyday Americans who want the same chance as everyone else to pursue health and happiness, This is about same everyday chance as Americans everyone else who to pursuehappiness, earn want healtha living, be and safe in their the communities, serveonestheirthetheylove. country,ofcaretakeand 1. Emphasize 1. Emphasize ground common 2. Illustrate concrete harms mphasize C E Overview Some Americans aren’t sure whether to for LGBT supportpeople because they equality erroneously believe that gay people are very different from straightdespite media stereotypes, people. LGBT people However, live ordinary lives. coworkers,Theyare neighbors, family members andfriends. They work, pay taxes, do the laundry, celebrate birthdays,and take out the trash. Like want to straight earn people,a living, gay be people safe in their theircountry, and communities,take care of servethe ones they love. Drawing these parallels helps create an emotional connection—and TALKINGEffective discussions about social issues frame what those issues are about in authentic, emotionally compelling ways that resonate with people’s values. In talking about lesbian, bisexualtransgenderand gay, (LGBT)recommendissues, we grounding your discussions in the following statement common purpose:of Notice that “transgender”andwords “gay” likedon’t appear in this statement. That’s because this isn’t people. justIt’s not just about about transgender gay people. And it’s not just about straight people. It’s about all of us. When conversations about LGBT issues are common rooted in the ground we values, share—whenhopes and beliefs we we have in common, emphasize differences—it’s difficult instead to cast gay people of“other,” as being the “different,” or“not like me.” It also makes itfor more Americans difficult to dismiss or injustices that ignoreLGBT people face. the harms and daily ABOUT and the ways that people can help end the injustices. the end help can people discussing that ways the and you’re issues the to back stories those connect and stories, always marry”). compelling Focus emotionally on sharing to able being from banned they’re gay for when like couples feels it what That’s feel? you would How hurt. or sick got love you person the if off time take couldn’t you that LGBTinjustices face people (e.g., you were “Imagine told how them a asking of instead So, straight person to put themselves in a gay feel. person’s shoes, ask people gay certain make how situations imagine to able be to gay they’re imagine to have don’t People this. around way easy there’san But gay. Because Why? many don’tpeople think they can stuck. what imagine it’s like to be get can you they and housing,” gay denied were were you “Imagine to like, asked scenario being a people consider straight with off start discussions eyes. own their through injustices see people Help injustices. stories these experienced have real-world who those offer about And than rather “benefits”. or years, 50 “rights” than about more of partner a for making decision end-of-life from barred being about talk For marriage, help transgender. or gay you’re because fired being the discrimination, of with fear day each live to like it’s employment what understand people about talking relate than can rather generically example, Americans For with. all empathize that and to injustices of stories. illustrate stories and compelling vivid injustices emotionally with meaningful them few a on Focus foster and government care waiting for a loving, forever home. gay parents hurts not only their own children, but also those in lesbianand Banningadoptionbecomesbyill. partnertheir if or pensions on to each other in old age, or take personal leave benefitsSecurity Social their can’t passthey means marriage from couples gay Banning people. transgender and gay to housing deny to states these in legal they’re also because It’stransgender. states 35 in and gay, they’re because just problem. employeesForfire example,statestoit’s29 inlegal the clarifying in specific Be don’t. they likely very it’s issues; cover don’t laws existing people. how LGBT and when clear it Make ways. compelling vivid, in inequalities of illustrating Instead on focus face. abstract, the in or “rights” people “equality” about talking LGBT Americans injustices help the doesn’t understand rights equal for need the language. about “rights” abstract Avoid face. they inequalities the of extent the understand to need they people, LGBT for equality support more Americans Before are. they who of because simply violence for P E ffe rin c c tive C tive iples they o’ asm ta pol udrtn the understand people that assume Don’t would feel if they faced some of the specific specific the of some faced they if feel would o nversati Talking generically generically Talking o n n Focus on on Focus When When transgender”) can create a bridge and earn their trust. their earn and bridge a create can transgender”) they’re because just job their from that fired unfairly fear be can they in live to have should nobody that agree can we sure I’m but about, talk to hard be can “I this how example, understand (for feels person real. a alienate how is to Acknowledging likely them. issues is way,” LGBT that feel about shouldn’t “You talking Saying, in feel people many feelings. audience’s your invalidate Don’t share. we ground common the to people connect can straight—that and transgender bisexual, gay, voices—lesbian, and stories diverse share you as inclusive purposefully Be important: as just And understanding. and and expand people”). Gradually their transgender awareness example, “gaycouples” (for or simple “gay descriptions keep or yet not supportive, issues are who to new these to people talking When language. different entirely an speaks them to make and/or them feel like the overwhelmed, talking person feel them make issues, the with of relationship out emotional an audiences pull can confusion. abbreviations and avoid descriptions inclusion, Promote road. that down further continue to them encourages journey person’s another for respect Showing where to made. get already they’ve to progress the recognize and are, took they people journey the Acknowledge own distance. the for closing their responsibility take Help won’t work. on distance remaining that cover to Americans like However, expecting issues. and LGBT people issues understanding of terms about in strides significant ambivalent made have people still marriage, are at. 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T lesbian, gay, bisexual ( GB on first reference if L bout bout A . © 2008, 2011 Movement Advancement Project (MAP). Project Advancement Movement 2011 2008, © . (not “gay activists”)“gay (not , if needed for clarity; use An Ally’s Guide to Terminology: Talking alking alking sexual orientation T ( (consider using when referring to bisexual people www.glaad.org/talkingabout or or necessary; never “sexual preference” or “gay lifestyle”— necessary;“gay or “sexual preference” never two inaccurate, offensive terms) “transgenders” or “transgendered“transgenders” or people”) orientation gender identity, gender expression advocates for gay equality, advocates fortransgender equality gay and All hardworking people in our transgender city, people, including should gay have and the chance to and their families. for themselves living and provide earn a Marriage is about love, commitment, responsibility, and a lifelong promise two people make to take care of each other and be there for each other, always. Open military service is about serving one’s country with honor and integrity. transgender (adj.), transgender peoplegay and transgender people and transgender talking with supportive audiences with the issues) who are familiar gay couples, “homosexual“same-sex or couples” couples”) gay and lesbian couples gay (adj.), gay people, lesbian, lesbians “homosexuals,” “homosexuals,” an offensive, outdated clinical term);bi and relationships in general contexts) • • • • • • • • • • erminology: erminology: • • • • • • • • • • About LGBT People & Equality for an in-depth discussion of related language (www.lgbtmap.org/terminology Conversations Ground Common Focus on family, shared responsibility, hard values work and example: For issues. talking about LGBT community like when caring, commitment, T Below are a few terms to use when issues. talking Please about LGBT see For For Research shows Most Americans www.lgbtmap.org/talking-about-lgbt-issues-series id o v A ABOUT THIS SERIES ABOUT This is one Talking in Americans, African a with Equality LGBT series About Talking of Populations, documents LGBT & Suicide on Parents, Gay & effectively Adoption Laws, talkingCrimes Hate Inclusive aboutProtections, Employment LGBT issues, also including: OverallApproaches, Marriage & Relationship Recognition, Inclusive About EqualityLGBT with Latinos & Hispanics, An Ally’s Guide Non-Discrimination About Talking to Transgender-Inclusive Laws, and An Ally’s Guide Terminology. to visit versions, downloadable For

o s t s g DON’T compare—directly or indirectly—the experiences experiences indirectly—the or compare—directly DON’T DON’T repeat or acknowledge anti-LGBT messages. DON’T use the language of conflict. hin DON’T use highly charged language. DON’T inadvertently validate anti-LGBT attitudes. T example, when opponents claim that gay people are trying to trying are people gay that claim opponents when example, “destroy marriage,” don’t respond by saying,“Gay couples aren’t destroying marriage.” While it’s temptingagainst to argue the false claims their of language anti-gay and activists, soundbites just repeating (even makes to their dispute conceptsrepeating them) anti-gay“stick” language in is unavoidable, people’s using think minds.the about“so-called” If qualifier opponents’to remind terminologyaudiences that is “This false so-called and Defense misleading ofhurting Marriageloving, committed (e.g., Act couples”). is really about 2) that using terms like “bigotry,” “prejudice” and “hatred” to describe anti-LGBT attitudes is viewed by many Americans as shrill, confrontational LGBT activists doesn’t name-calling. give Americans a reason to Attacking support equality for anti- LGBT people; rather, it to canback makeaway fromthem thewant person or group calling.doing the name- Instead, use relatabletocreate empathy andsense a ofhow language opponents’ that attitudes and actions is hurt LGBT people. measured and 3) Saying “I understand how talking about be these issues challenging”—which can lets understand how someonedifficult these discussions know can sometimes be—is that different you fromAcknowledge thediscomfort, opposed sayingthistoissue.” not the “I understand why hurtfulperson’s attitudes. you’re 4) of gay and transgender Americans, people Latinos with or those the of immigrant AfricanLikewise, rights don’t make movement. comparisons to the African American Civil Rights Movement. Research is clear: such comparisons people help actually don’t they and audiences, these alienate understand the harms and injustices that LGBT people face. 5) don’t typically respond well to “battle” framing“war,” or “fight.” AvoidLGBT warissues metaphorsas anda similar language. Instead, talk people about experience the on a injusticesdaily of basis,ensuring that and that LGBTtheall people—includingimportance LGBT treatedpeople—are fairly and equally. TALKING1) ABOUT