The Drink Tank Issue

One Hundred and Three

computerhistory.org garcia @ rsfrTFF!!! F TAF for hris C Convention at the Adelphi in Liver- The Name of This Article is Dogme pool. I was psyched that I might get 95 to go to Liverpool and see the sister hotel to the Titanic. Sadly, they had I’m fairly certain anyone read- to cancell the con due to the fact ing this knows that I’m a giant movie that there were several articles run mark. It’s easy to see why growing up about thefts and various other is- with the movies I did. I saw the Godfa- sues. They also hadn’t sold enough ther far too young. I watched Rio Lobo, memberships to the con itself. Now, The Outlaw Josie Wales, The Man the way it hadn’t really exploded Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Sons the way I would expect the news of of Katie Elder, Cross of Iron, Clock- a majour annual con calling off an work Orange, Safety Last, Casablanca, edition would cause, I figured it’d The Big Sleep, Double Indemnity, all happened before. I was wrong, it of hte Hope & Crosby films and all the turns out, since they’ve never can- Universal Monster flicks before I was celled one before for any reason. in high school. Those films alone are This is indeed serious. enough to make a guy into a film nut, Now, the issue comes down to but add Star Wars, The Thing from An- this: where is the TAFF delegate go- other World, The Day The Earth Stood ing to go? They were supposed to be Still and so many other Science Fiction sent to Eastercon and serve as the films that I couldn’t list them all with- Fan Guest of Honour. That won’t out taking up many, many pages and be happening now. There was talk you’ll understand how I got her. of a make-up Eastercon, though You’ll see from that list that most Well, I’m back and working no announcement has been made of the films I’ve loved are big produc- on another Drink Tank. This one’ll of whether or not that’s happen- tions. Lots of flash, style, cunnign have to settle you for a while being. Now, there seems to be a lot of editing and camera work, special ef- cause there’s a lot going on. I’m ed- discussion about doing something fects and more. It’s easy to think that iting the December issue of the N3F on the various LJs, but nothing has list like that would belong to a guy who Fan, and that’ll take a little time been firmed up. loves the big ‘plosion kinds of films, away from my precious Drink Tank. And that explains the TAFF but really, to me, it’s about smaller, I’ve also got Chris for TAFF stuff, race so far: difficult, with things more direct, more honest films. which would have been out this changing left and right, but ulti- Hence, I love Dogme. week, except there’s been another mately, it really couldn’t be any- The Danes are a strange people. snag. thing else considering that I’m They’ve been making films since the Convoy was going to be the running...and am in the home Lumiere Bros. sold a Cinematograph to British National Science Fiction stretch! a couple of Danish filmmakers in 1899. There were ple, started to get folks talking. He was The Rules a number of shooting almost entirely hand-held and 1. Filming must be done on location. highly im- was using raw material for scripts that Props and sets must not be brought portant and just killed and cut viewers to shreds. in (if a particular prop is neces- influential The films he made and the TV series sary for the story, a location must filmmakers that he did were tough and unyielding be chosen where this prop is to be in Denmark and they made a wider audience take a found). during the look than had ever considered Danish the silent filmmakers before. He gained interna- 2. The sound must never be pro- period, in- tional attention when he really began duced apart from the images or vice cluding Carl the Digital revolution with his film versa. (Music must not be used un- Theordor Breaking The Waves, a film that got so less it occurs where the scene is be- Dreyer who much notice that Emily Watson man- ing filmed). made the aged to get an Oscar nom out of it. genius The In 1995, Lars was bitter. So 3. The camera must be a hand-held Passion of were a lot of his filmmaking buddies, camera. Any movement or immobil- Joan of Arc. notably Thomas Vinterberg, Kristian ity attainable in the hand is permit- Denmark wasn’t the most important Levring, and Søren Kragh-Jacobsen. ted. (The film must not take place filmmaking nation in Europe, but They started talking about the essence where the camera is standing; film- it was the one that got attention for of film. This is a debate that every ing must take place where the ac- breaking taboos and doing edgy work. filmmaker goes through in ther life, tion takes place.) I believe Haxen, the one of the first of typically while surrounded by a bunch the Supernatural documentaries, was of friends who think the same way 4. The film must be in colour. Spe- made in Denmark. (unless you’re Oliver Stone, in which cial lighting is not acceptable. (If There was a generation of Dan- case you’re the only one in the room there is too little light for exposure ish film students that started to see who thinks like you do). They thought the scene must be cut or a single the light of day in the late 1970s and about film and came up with a list: a lamp be attached to the camera). early 1980s. Most of these folks you’d list of what makes great films. At a cel- never hear about unless you were big ebration for the first 100 years of film 5. Optical work and filters are for- into the festival circuit. There was one bidden. guy who really started making waves. in Paris in 1995, Lars was asked to give a keynote. The guy’s name was Lars Von Trier. 6. The film must not They say that every movement He did, sort of, but mostly he just passed out a red contain superficial ac- has it’s mad man and Lars has been tion. (Murders, weapons, the mad man for a couple of them now. pamphlet whcih explained the rules of Dogme 95. etc. must not occur.) His films of the 1980s, the little seen in the US film Epidemic as an exam- And new kind of filmmaking was born. 7. Temporal and geo- graphical alienation are forbidden. You see, a little extreme, but the like they are mentally retarded. It’s sort (That is to say that the film takes idea is to come up with a film that is of treated like performance art that place here and now.) real, as real as you can get. It’s Cin- takes over their world. It’s a strange ema Verite taken as far as possible. film, but one that’s really good. 8. Genre movies are not acceptable. The idea is that the film is actually a And number of other films document, not a documantary, but a started to pop up in the 1999-2000 9. The final picture must be trans- recording of fictional events that hap- time frame. The first American one ferred to the Academy 35mm film, pen in a more or less natural way. That was done by Harmony Karine and was with an aspect ratio of 4:3, that is, sounds odd, but trust me, it makes called Julien Donkey-Boy. It wasn’t not widescreen. (Originally, the re- sense. The reality provided by using nearly as good as the others, so if you quirement was that the film had to handheld and available light makes it wanna see one Harmony film, see Kida, be filmed on Academy 35mm film, seem like a doc and it would be hard to which he wrote. but the rule was relaxed to allow pull it off with a genre film. There is a Probably the most accessible low-budget productions.) sense of reality that must be present- Dogme film is the Italian for Beginners ed. by Lone Scherfig. It’s a combination 10. The director must not be cred- The first Dogme film wasn’t ited. made by Von Trier, but by Vinterberg. He made the film Festen and it’s a near-masterpiece. It depicts a party that a family with deep issues is having. It feels like a home video. That’s one of the impressive things about Dogme; it allows you to play with rec- ognisible forms. The film was a giant success, winning the Jury Prize at Cannes (not the Palme de Or) and was released internationally. It got the Dogme ball rolling. The second Dogme film was Von Trier’s. He did a film called The Idiots which was not nearly as well received. It’s not that it was bad at all, but it wasn’t nearly as good and Vinterberg’s cheats were much nicer than Von Tri- er’s (which included using porn stars for sex scenes). The premise was interesting: a bunch of folks decide to play they interact is breathtak- ing. There are many Dogme films still being made. I think they’re into the 80s in their numbering. Once you’ve completed your Dagme film, you can submit it to the Dogme Film Au- As I’m sure most of you are thority and aware, I love cons. I’ve been to a couple they’ll certify over the last few months and I’m really family drama and romantic comedy. it was created properly. The reality is looking forward to the next one: Lo- It’s both touching and funny and has a that no film has ever done 100% and sCon in LA. great cast. As I understand it, the film they’ll issue a confession saying what I went to my first LosCon in wasn’t fully written, only strongly out- they did that wasn’t within the Dogme 2001 and had a really good time. The lined, though many of the Dogme films dogma. This started with Vinterberg next one I went to was 2005 and I met have that in common. What’s incred- and continues on through today. Some all sorts of great folks, including run- ible is that they make it work so well of the confessions are far more inter- ning into my All-Time favourite fen: the with this simple, yet layered film. esting than the films. Harmony Korine Vegas Bunch. Italian for Beginners has several had to write a pretty spectacular con- This year, I’m probably going to different stories, all of which work. fession since Julien Donkey Boy opens be doing a TAFF auction (got anything There’s the minister whose wife has with a Murder, which they specifically you don’t wanna got anymore? Send it died (and who spends time “reading mention as being uncool. to be auctioned!) and I’ll have a couple about loss”). There’s the clumsy baker So you see, I love the rawness, of panels. I will be carrying my sign sister, the sexual hairdresser, the fiery the reality, the hypersensitivy of Dog- and preparing for the the question... tempered restaurant manager and me films. It doesn’t hurt that I’m a big more. It’s a great group and the way Von Trier fan either. It’s just the most “So, what’s TAFF?” real non-doc film style there is! team of 8 guys, to preach in Spanish three times, to under the auspices perhaps 900 people total!), and going of Living Waters to Texas to learn to do this - I’ve used International. a pipe wrench twice in my life, once in This is a Christian Nicaragua and once in training. aid organization I think I might go back next year. whose gig is to There are plenty more people that need drill water wells for water. people all around But... that trip will only take the world. Over another week or so. a billion people What do I do with the rest of my don’t have access year? to clean water, I need a new project. and every fifteen I could keep working on Guidolon, seconds, a kid fleshing out other scripts. But aside somewhere dies from a small bit of clean-up animation, from drinking icky I think it needs to lay fallow, except OK, SO NOW WHAT? water. dragging it to a couple film festivals (I by Frank Wu So we went down to the small was able to give Robert Redford a copy village of Santa Maria, which is made of it last night at an art gallery!) I set two goals for this year (see of survivors of Hurricane Mitch, which There are plenty of other things to Drink Tank #60): killed some 11,000+ people (or 6+ do. Like dating. Not. (Too 1. Make a short film of Guidolon the times as many as Katrina). They had icky.) Giant Space Chicken. one well, but it’s got an electrical pump I could, maybe, uh, vacuum. Evict 2. Go to Nicaragua and drill a water and they were always losing power. the dust bunnies from under the bed. well. So we drilled a new well with a I’m way behind in cleaning - gosh, I’ve done both, and there’s still two hand pump - by moving the lever arm there’s always something more months left in the year. up and down you can get 10 gallons a *urgent* or *important* to do, like a What do I do now? minute. And the kids tried the water magazine that needs its cover painting (from 100 feet down!) - and it was NOW, or there’s always a convention Both projects were huge. I’ve used good. Yeah! It was a way to make coming up. But I rarely get visitors (no up a lot of Drink Tank pages describing the world a better place, to make a one’s seen my place in a month). Yet... the travails of making and selling political statement in response to the last weekend, I couldn’t find three Guidolon. And when I get pictures, I’ll war on terror, and create a tangible really important things. Instructions write up the Nicaragua trip. symbol of the love of God and love for the new digital camera. Software But for now I’ll give a brief for your neighbor. The trip took a for the scanner. Scissors - and I have summary. I went down there with a year of prep: language study (I got three of those. OK, maybe I should straighten up a work and sacrifice and constant re- funny, just not fiction. tad. tooling and improvement, you can be a Maybe I could write non-fiction That should consume a week, world-class master at anything. essays. maybe. (Tracy Austin, who won the U.S. Open I’ve really enjoyed books like So... uh, then what? at age 16, had already been practicing “Freakonomics” and “Blink” and “God’s I need a new project. for over a decade - since the age of 3.) Politics” and “Consider the Lobster.” What do non-artists do with their In ten years, I could be Eric Maybe I could write a non-fiction evenings? Watch TV? I suppose I Clapton. biography. could see all 250 films on imdb.com’s What do I want to be in ten years? But about whom? list of best movies of all time. Heady question, huh? Years ago, I thought James Tiptree But to what end? I guess I’d learn Maybe I could write something. Jr. would be a fascinating subject. about cinematic storytelling. But ... to Keep pumping out a Drink Tank Too late. make what film? article every week. Other sci-fi people? One artist I knows wanders But... I want to write something big. Chris Garcia suggested some, but through Salvation Army looking for But not a novel. Or any kind of none popped my authorial cork. found objects to inspire her. Another fiction. Frank R. Paul did fascinating photographs various night scenes, I’ve tried for years to get a science paintings, the first covers for “Amazing then throws them up in the air to see fiction story published. I’ve come close Stories”: The “War of the Worlds” cover, what collage fortuitously emerges. - “Guidolon” was published, but as a the “Skylark of Space” cover, the “Land I can’t work like that. screenplay - not a story. that Time Forgot” cover. I need a plan. And I’ve had pseudo-scientific bits in But FRP himself, as far as I can tell, There are things I need to do. I’ve “The Journal of Irreproducible Results” wasn’t that interesting a person. He owed R-Laurraine Tutihasi a painting and its follow-up “The Annals of basically just woke up, sat at his easel for “Feline Mewsings” for a couple Improbable Research.” Maybe I can do all day and then went to bed. years now. And I owe someone else a Is that the curse of the sailboat painting. creative person? To be But I need a big project. less interesting than their I could learn to play guitar. creations? But I need to have something Movies are made about tangible at the end. Maybe a artists who’ve had chaotic, performance at next year’s Japan tormented lives full of demons. worldcon. Or a slew of new filk songs Alcoholics like Pollock. Girl- to share. Or writing and producing a crazy egomaniacs like Picasso. song that Doctor Demento might like. But most writers just go But does the world need another around doing laundry, washing “Fish Heads”? their cars, having an occasional They say that with ten years of hard beer. Lawrence M. Schoen - Klingon language master and currently huge pharmaceutical companies for volcanoes on the horizon. One minute eligible for the Campbell Award for New ridiculous amounts of money, of which we’re running the drill and lifting up Writer - notes that the key to writing is I got a pittance, then repeated year 100 feet of pump with our muscles and simply “Butt in Chair” time. after year, until they had given me we’re soaking wet from torrential rain Fascinating, isn’t it, watching many many paychecks. and moments later the clouds part and someone make black marks on paper. Fascinating life, huh? we’re blasted with searing heat from Remember that Monty Python skit No drunken revelries. No drug the blazing hot sun. Dramatic, huh? about Thomas Hardy writing a new ODs. No midnight abortions. I suppose that’s an adventure. novel? Well, I guess there was that one A life of faith is really an adventure, Fascinating, huh? time I got lost in the New Mexico desert too - I’ve seen many interesting Writers and artists - most of them, looking for bison fossils. answers to prayer. really, as opposed to rock stars - don’t Or that other time I was hanging But overall, I feel like I’ve had a go around smashing hotel rooms or off a cliff in upstate New York pulling boring life. waving inappropriate body parts before brachiopod and cup coral fossils from Maybe it’s ‘cos I spend too much screaming crowds. the slate when I was attacked by time inside. At the easel. At the Should my goal be to find an swarms of poisonous stinging flying computer. interesting writer to write about insects (OK, OK, they were really just I mean, I hate movies - boring (Hemingway shot water buffalo and gnats). dramas! - set in someone’s living room. fought in a war, but he’s been done). Or... the time I got to ride a moped Why do I live my life that way? Or maybe go off and have my own shaped like a banana. I need a project, a really big project. adventures? Or... the time I got to hold Laura Has my life so far been dramatic? Palmer’s diary. I’ve got a million ideas. OK, I stood in a lab dispensing one That Nicaragua trip was an What - you don’t like the giant or two microliters of clear liquid into 7 adventure. Physically draining and space chicken who makes movies? microliters of another clear liquid, then visually interesting, what with the How about... dinosaurs playing repeated year after year until they gave guitar (Monster Rock)? me a Ph.D. Or... an elephant who’s a And I listened to “Who’s Next” professional bowler? over and over, while dancing with a Instead of tiny worms which are paintbrush in my hand, then repeated parasites inside of people, we have year after year until they gave me two people who are parasites inside a giant Hugo Awards. worm? And I sat in my office, surrounded Or... A Selenite (H.G. Wells’ ant by animal skulls and fossils and creatures on the moon) who fell to space toys that are way more Earth and then gets back to where he interesting than me, helping huge once belonged? pharmaceutical companies sue other I’ve also got drive and confidence and fearlessness and willingness to put in endless hours not going out and staying in and getting things done. I don’t fear that what I try won’t succeed, because I’ve done most of the things I’ve set out to do - except find True Love, but we won’t go there. Thank you very much. So what do I do? I don’t want a “Number” goal. Save a certain amount of money. Lose this number of pounds. Check off this number of movies. What I’d really like to do is buy one of those robot bodies and be the first person to walk across the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, discovering new things. (As I mentioned this in Drink Tank #81). Oh, what, robot bodies with the strength of five gorillas aren’t available yet? I better find something to do in the meantime. I need a new project. Clean fossils? Discover a new species? I’ve got a few ideas for ya, about two people who are in love, Study ants? Frank. How about putting out one in Tokyo and one in LA, who Get another Ph.D., this time Further Greetings from Lake Wu, decide to see each other by walking in something fun, like looking for where YOU write the stories and Jay across the ocean. dinosaurs? does the art. That’d be awesome! Maybe. Or... Maybe. What about collecting all the OK, that’s enough. I’ll be Anybody out there got any ideas? fannish writing for Christopher J. back in a week or so with another, Lemme know. Garcia and typing it onto Mimeo probably longer issue (which will and releasing it as Son of Warhoon. feature LoCs at it’s heart) and then Or... who knows? Maybe a special issue What about writing a script of something or other.