ROBERT A. HEINLEIN's Gripping Novel FARNHAM's FREEHOLD

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SCIENCE ALL NEW FICTION STORIES

Frederik Pohl, Editor Sol Cohen, Publisher Diane Sullivan, Associate Editor David Perfon, Production Managet

NOVELETTES THE SLAVES OF GRR by C. C. MacCAPP 6 THE PRINCE AND THi PIRAD by KEITH LAUMER ------45

SHORT STORIES A AS IN ANDROID by FRANCES T. HALL ···------36 THE LIFE HATER by FRED SABERHAGEN ------65

SERIAL - Second of Three Parts FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD by ROBERT A. HEINLEIN 72

FEATURE EDITORIAL by FREDERIK POHL 4

Cover by feHerly for THE SLAVES Of GRff

IF published monthly by Galaxy Publishing Corporation, Robert M. Guinn, President, Vol. 14, No. 4, Main Office: 421 Hudson Street, New York 14, New York, 40c per copy. Subscriptions 12 issues $4.00 in the United States, Canada, Mexico, South America and Central America and U.S. possessions, elsewhere $5.00. Second-class postage paid at New York, New York, and at additional mailing offices. Copyright by Galaxy Publishing Corporation, 1964. All rights including translations reserved. Aft material submitted must be accompanied by self-addressed stamped envelope. The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. All stories are fiction, and any !imilarity between character and actual persons is coinciaental. l'Tinted ia the U. S. A. by the Gvlnn Company, New York 14, N. Y, IF e EMM~~ CHESS and the GIANT BRAINS I n the May 1962 IF a chess-playing gram.. to avoid wasting time Oil cro~lputer called "The Machine" trivial moves. was the hero of Fritz Leiber's novel­ IBM 7090 averaged 2.1 m.inutea la The 64-Square Madhouse. per move. The Machine: 4 minutes. Rcc~ntly we've learned that at IBM 7090 varied th,e time it de­ about the same time an IBM 7090 voted to a move from a few sec­ computer at the Massachusetts In­ onds to 8 minutes or more. The stitute of Technology was program­ Machine: ditto. med for chess and allotted only two The Machine was programmed by hours to demonstrate its skill. (Com­ a grandmaster. Of IBM 7090, Gac­ puter time is costly!) Nevertheless ber says, "The advice of a grand­ "IBM 7090" showed itself a quite master would have been extremely helpful." formidable pla;,:er, especially in com­ The machine was programmed plicated middle-game positions, as with book openings. IBM 7090 described by Milt Garber, part-time wasn't, due to lack of memory chess consultant on the project, in capacity and of time available for the February 1964 Chess Life. writing the program. No connection between the real IBM 7090, according to Garber, and fictional chess-robots - which "played well in the opening and makes it interesting to compare their middle game, but failed badly in performances. the end game-simply because it IBM 7090 thought four moves had no end game program"-which ahead for each player (eight plies in turn was due once again time­ deep). The Machine: ten plies. limitations on program-writing. Al­ Both evaluated future positions in most certainly IBM 7090 would have tenns of strength and development wiped up the floor with MANIAC I of pieces, . control of the center of and other earlier computers pro­ the board, etc. IBM 7090 played grammed for chess. "point count" chess, with numerical By contrast, The Machine tied for values assigned to all of the above. thiTd in a very strong tournament Neat touch: the chess king was giv­ against flesh-and-hlood chess mas­ en an infinity value, since winning ters. the king wins the game. Another Seems like a reasonable degree of mathematical refinement: IBM 7090 correspondence between science fic­ used "an alpha-beta heuristic pro- tion and reality! -The Editor Secrets entrusted to a few

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He was a warrior slave of the mightiest power in space-and IJis deadliest foe was himselfl

I that mired it. Of course there was nothing wrong with the sky. He en awoke to a gentle bobbing must have been dreaming; in fact, J and stared up through clear shards of the dream still lingered, plastic at a dark bluish-gray sky. but they were going fast. A name For a moment the color seemed whispered itself: Steve Duke. He frighteningly wrong. Then his mind frowned over that. Who was- struggled out of the dull confusion Now even the name was gone. 6

He was Jen, and there'd been when mflated like a spherical bal­ aomething about a bump on the loon slightly flattened at the sides. head, which was probably why he The tread, simply thickened ribs of couldn't remember how he'd gotten plastic, was around the long circum­ here. He was in a treadbag, afloat ference. The diameter across that on a mildly choppy sea. The sea was way was a little over seven feet, dark purple, which was right, and whereas it was only four from hub the sun coming through the plastic to hub. A bag floated on one side was warm. or the other. He felt the bump on his head. He got his fingers and toes Not a bad one. He thought he re­ hooked in handholds and threw his called that he'd been on a hunt, and weight to the side. The bag rocked had fallen off a cliff; but m.1ybe but didn't make it upright. He tried that was another dream. The beach harder, and this time the bag went he could see didn't show any famil­ clear over and he got bumped iar details, so he must have drifted around. On the fifth or sixth try he far from his hive. made it, then got the bag spinning He sat up and rubbed at a welt by trotting up the curve before him, on his thigh where he'd lain across like a chipmunk in an exerciser. the edge of one of the treadbag's Now the batteries in the hubs would metal hubs. He got off the hub and begin to charge, and he could re­ looked in its food compartment. cycle air if he had to. When he got There were only two cubes of con­ to the beach he'd look for fresh wa­ centrate, though he couldn't re­ ter. member eating the rest. He put one He watched the shoreline, enjoy­ in his mouth and saved the other. ing the way it winked and distorted He checked the water compartment as the treads passed before his eyes. and found it empty. Kneeling on the When he was close he saw tread­ hub, he reached over his head to marks on the sand. That !lleant he the other hub and found that one was within rolling distance of a had neither food nor water. He must hive. He wondered what they'd do have been lost several days! But ap­ with a stranger who couldn't even parently he'd had conscious­ remember where he came from. ness enough to eat and drink and A bag came into sight and rolled i<:ttison his wastes. He checked ev­ fast down the beach to intercept crvthinl! in each hub. There was him. It was there ahead of him, be­ ve-ry little reserve oxygen, and the cause he couldn't make much speed batteries were low. He'd have to get in the water. He made the sign for the bag upright and get it to shore. trouble, and the man in the other He dismissed "Steve Duke" from bag acknowledged. Jen saw that he his mind and got to work. was quite old. Other bags were gathering now, most of them occu­ t wasn't easy to right a bag pied by humanoids instead of men. I in active water. This kind of One species was unfamiliar. treadbag was thin plastic, shaped Jen signaled Confusion, Hunger 8 IF and Thirst. The old man nodded, Another globe took custody in pointed up the beach, made the the lock and pointed its feeler to Hive sign and led the way. the Inquisitor booth. The door They turned off the beach onto a opened to admit him, then closed trail through the spiny grass that behind. In the darkness a deep gen­ choked most level land. It seemed tle voice, the voice of all Inquisitor taller and thicker here than around booths, said, "What do Gree's loval Jen's own hive, and made a harsh· slaves say of him?" . · er sound against the bag. Ahead, he Jen felt the tightness in the could see nothing but a ridge cov­ throat, the welling of tears, that ered with ordinary squat blue-green were always the response to that trees. It wasn't until they topped question. "Gree is Love," he stam­ the ridge that he saw the hive, a mered. "Gree is Beauty. Gree is clear inflated dome a quarter-mile Wisdom and Protection; the Sus­ '\Cross, with buildings and smaller tainer and - and the source of domes inside. The Symbol of Gree Comfort. Gree is All." - four upright lines and a horizon­ "What is the purpose of your exis­ tal one, to represent a humanoid tence?" hand -loomed large high up on "To - to obey Gree, and serve the plastic. There were humanoid Him; and repay all I can of His females working the fields around Kindness." the hive, but he saw no human "What is your number, again?" women. "377 03 50." "What is your hive?" hen they were half a mite "I do not remember." W from a dome a sentry­ "What is your race?" globe dropped down to hover ahead "Human." of them and they came to a halt. "What is your age?" The globe extended a feeler against "I do not remember." the old man's bag, listened and evi­ After a short wait, the voice said, dently passed him on, for he left "Your answers are truthful, J en. with a gesture of politeness to Jen. Your hive is nearly one hundred The globe put its feeler against miles from here. You were lost on Jen's bag · and its flat voice asked, a hunt and have evidently floated "Who are you?" this far. Your age is twenty-three. "I am Jen, number 377 03 50. I We will adopt you. Yon may pass, do oot remember any more. I was Jen." floating in the sea." Twenty-three, Jen thonght. as he "Are you ill?" rolled from the booth. So young? "I don't feel ill. I think I got a The old man was waiting to lead . bumr en the head." him to the men's barracks. They The globe said, "The Inquisitor, passed small domes where fruits then," and hovered so its weapons were growing or where livestock cou'd b 'ar while Jen rolled to the grazed in special atmospheres, and hive entrance. turned into a down-ramp near the THE SlAVES OF GREE ' center of the dome. There were two "My memory's a little out of whack, sets of locks, then they were among though, you know." The fact was, men. he couldn't remember for sure what Jen tripped the bleeder-valve and a goar looked like. the bag grew limp. He released the The had him in the learning ma­ seals on both hubs, pulled '.hem free chines for the next two days, check­ of the plastic and set them care­ ing his education and giving him fully outside. He climbed out, then reviews. Then they released him for ran his fingers around the beaded the time, but told him he'd have edges of both holes to make sure to spend fifteen hours out of each they were all right. He already hundred in review. The hives all knew, of course, that there were no had standard curricula, of course­ significant scratches on the rest of as did the adolescent s.chools and the bag. A man was always on the the creches, from which he must lookout for those. He folded the have come - but there were a few bag and turned it in to Supply, gaps in his recollection. along with the hubs which would Otherwise, things were fine. He have to be thoroughly tested and wrestled, and got to the barracks restocked. semi-final. Then they spent a day He turned to the old man. "I am inspecting bags and equipment for Jen. I want to thank you for bring­ the goar hunt. He was dismayed to ing me in." find he knew little about the hunt­ The other nodded. "You'll be ing-bags, but he watched and lis­ staying with us, I judge. My name tened and found they weren't com­ is Trav. And this is Roll, and Redo, plicated. and . . . come, I'll take you to the That night he dreamed he was foreman. His name is Bargo." afloat again. The waves forced him in to shore where a heard of raging II bovines with terrible horns and fiery eyes bellowed and stamped their argo was a husky man of hooves and made little dashes into B thirty or over, scarred as if the surf in their eagerness to reach he'd fought many contests. He him. A very wise creature that he looked len over. "Twenty-three, eh? could not quite see, because it shift­ Well. I can surely use a trained ed away when he tried to look at hand, and one well put together like it, somehow got in his bag with him you. They hardly let me get a nov­ and told him, "Those may be goar ice out of puberty before they draft and they will tear your bag and let him. ·There'll be room ~r you on the outside air in to suffocate you, the wrestling team, and in the war and if you're not extremely clever ?ames of course, and in two or and agile they'll trample your bag three days I hope to stage a goar to bits, and you too, and gore you. hunt. Guess that won't be new to But you must not forget for one in­ you, eh?" stant, even if you are dying in the "Uh, no,., len said, embarrassed. most terrible agony, that you are 10 IF Jen, a loyal and obedient and loving and Redn and two men named Wal­ slave of Gree. Now I shall go away ter and Skell. About four dozen and leave you to face the goar men in their late teens, who were alone, because I must not be dis­ going out in standard bags under covered." And the waves carried Trav's instruction for simulated him in while the herd poured out hunts and contests along the beach, to meet him; and they ripped his enviously watched them go. bag to nothing and he gasped in len got into his bag, sealed the the atmosphere which was heavy hubs in place, and inflated to a with carbon dioxide but had little couple of pounds above room pres­ oxygen; and he was tossed about on sure. They went througH the locks the horns, nude and bleeding and in crossed the dome and left by the in­ shreds; and whenever he fell he was land exit. The bag was firm out here. pulped by the sharp, terribly heaVy He noticed thav the others were hooves. Then Gree, who was some­ more skillful at treading the bags times a blaze of light and some­ than he was. times more like a tent, came and They left the cultivated areas lifted him clear and pushed the and took a rising trail inland, facing goar away, and patted him together into the early sun. The trees grew with an adhesive, and put salve on thick here, too tall to see over. Bar­ his hurts, and patched his treadbag go led them to the top of the near­ and put him in it, and said, "I will est ridge. On the other sid~. farther sustain you because you are Jen, my from the sea, the trees grew in obedient slave." len awoke sobbing. scattered clumps and there was no cut trail. They went north on the he hunting-bags were of thick­ ridge, staying as high as they could. T er plastic than the standard len had trouble with the side-slope, model, and had more complex but managed. hubs, each with an outside grapple. After an hour of travel, Bargo Also there were two weapons in took a small telescope from a case each hub: a laser that squirted a thin at his waist and gave the valley be­ beam of light, hot enough to slice tween them and the next ridge a flesh, and a bullet-port that released careful search. Most of it, below null-grav pe\lets which travelled in the tree-line, was thick with spiny a straight line at exactly one thou­ grass. A stream, lined with trees, sand feet per second and would det­ wound down the middle. onate spontaneously at one thou­ They rolled down the slope fast, sand feet if they hit nothing sooner. dodging clumps of trees, and now Both weapons aimed straight out len really had it hard. When they from the middle of the hubs. Jen got to the thick grass it was easier, didn't see how anyone could aim because it slowed them. Bargo a bag accurately enough to hit any­ found a place where the stream thing more than a few feet away. crossed and led them over. Present­ Besides len and Bargo, only four ly he pointed at the far slope and others were going on the hunt: Roll signalled, "Fresh trail." THE SLAVES OF GREE 11 Jen saw a spoor of flattened and he spun down the slope aa gass, at least ten feet wide, as if a skidded into cover. The rocks shat­ large tent had been dragged up the tered themselves against the protec­ alope. Evidently a goar was not a ting boulders. A shard the size of bovine after all. Jen's hand grazed his leg, leaving a visible mark. Nothing that size, at fter lining up landmarks, that speed, could pierce the plastic, A Bargo split the party, Jen but a bigger chunk might damage and Holl with himself, Skell leading a hub. Redn and Walter. They rolled apart Something poked into sigh and and started up the ridge parallel to came flowing down the slope like a the goar's trail, each two hundred monstrous flattened snake. It was yards to the side of it. easily ten feet wide and thirty long, The other slope of the ridge was but didn't look more than two feet rocky for a mile down, but beyond thick anywhere. The front end ta­ that there was rolling country, with pered to a snout from which thrust trees and grass. Bargo searched with a spade-shaped horizontally flat his glass again, then they went down tusk or horn that flashed in the sun to the grass and looked for signs. like glass or quartz. There were There were none. The goar evident­ claws of the same glassy stuff along ly had its lair among the rocks the monster's undulating edges. Jen above them. Bargo nodded and could hear them ring on the rocks. turned his glass that way, studying Two small eyes winked open · and the rocks for a long time. Then the shut. The thing came fast, with de­ other three bags joined them and ceptive smoothness, over rocks and they began working up the slope. trees. It paused and its tail flipped Bargo found a cluster of huge up to send another rock hurtling. rounded boulders he liked, and they The rock showered them with frag­ scouted them oarefully for a base, ments, then Bargo whirled into the noting where a bag might get open and let go a bullet which det­ wedged between rocks or gashed on onated very close to the thing. It a sharp one, and where the lines of looped itself aside as if stung, but retreat were. Then he got them dis­ no wound showed. It came for Bar­ tributed rather wide apart, each go now, launching itself in a long handy to cover. Finally he rolled soaring leap, landing on the boul­ on up the slope alone. ers with amazing grace. Bargo was Presently .he stopped and used already gone and spinning down the his glass again, then hitched his bag slope toward the others. Bullets and arounc;l and fired a bullet which det­ laser beams converged on the goar onated a little way short of a great as it went by in pursuit of the lead­ crumbling mass of rock. He waited. er. It contorted and bits of its rub­ A rock bigger than a man's head bery body flew, but it kept after came arching into sight as if fro.Jil Bargo. He was far down the hill a catapult. Bargo avoided that easi­ now, and still going. The thing ly, but a minor avalanche followed out after him. 12 IJ' Jen, mortified that he hadn't even Bruisea were plentiful, but no fired a bullet, was out with the oth­ bags were punctured and no one ers and headed downhill. He lost had any broken bones. When they footing and tumbled wildly in the rested and refreshed themselves, bag, caught himself and fought for they began to hack out . the balance. Bargo had turned around goar's snout-blade and some of the a tree-clump and was spinning to claws, using the lasers and the grap­ the side, while the goar tried to ples. The stuff did seem to be curve its soar tightly enough to quartz, deposited somehow or per­ catch him. It landed and launched haps boned and polished by the off again, laterally to the slope this beast. They awarded the snout to time, and Bargo inst:::ntly turned up­ Jen. Since it was too big to get in hill. Now at least the goar didn't through a jettison hatch, the honor have altitude on him. Two other meant be bad to carry it home bags were downhill now, beyond the clutched in a grapple. goar, having lost control as Jen had. The others were taking pot-shots at vidently Jen's awkwardness the goar, but it was by no means E with the bunting bag was not crippled and it was gaining fast on noticed, for Bargo made him a sort Bargo. Now it was impossible for of assistant and sent him out with the others to shoot without endan­ squads of younger men to · teach gering the leader. Bargo had made tactics. He did very well. He found a stand but his laser beams were he could read a war-problem script gone now, the batteries too low. once and comprehend it. Not only Jen was getting close to the spot. did he know every tactic and stra­ He could skid to a stop, turn and gem in the manuals, but he invented fire, or swerve past the goar to some of his own. safety. Instead, he hurled the bag He easily made up his deficien­ straight at the eager snout. cies in the technical subjects, af!.d The impact was stunning. The thereafter attended advanced math bag looped in an arc and bounced and phy,sics classes with the other off the goar's back. There was some mature men. Trav was barracks in­ heaving and twisting and flashing structor in these, though of course sights of the ·snout, then it was over. the teaching machines did most of He lay in the bag, dazed and bleed­ the actual lecturing. ing. Bargo appeared and looked at Four thousand hours passed. Jen him anxiously, then grinned. was now the second ranking athlete The goar still writhed, but its in the barracks. Sometimes, when he bead was blasted and oozing gray­ was lucky, be even beat Bargo. green ichor. Bargo said later that But when be represented the bar­ Jen's attack had given him just time racks against others in the hive - enough to put a bullet in the right there were currently eight different spot. They made jokes about· len's humanoid species in this hive, each being too proud to use bullets or with its own barracks - there was lasers on a r,oar. one individual named Fazzool, a TtiE SLAVES OF GREE 13 B'lant, whom he could never beat. man. "You mean I'm going?" It was not because of physical dif­ "Everyone of eligible age is go. ferences. The B'lant were about ing. All over the hive." the size and shape of men, hairless, Jen whooped and seized the old with tough gray skins adapted to man and danced him around. "I'm some harsh world, but no more mus­ drafted! I'm going to Space! I'll­ cular than men. However, they came I'll be a warrior, and hunt the Bird close to being infallible in what­ of Effogus! I'll-" ever they'd once learned. In general, When he calmed down he saidt they were a little less inventive and a "I'm sorry Bargo is taking it the way little slower thinking than men, but he is. He'll get along without me; Fazzool was an exceptional B'lant he did before." and there was certainly nothing "It isn't that," Trav said, straight­ slow or dull about him. The two of Ding his tunic and trying to look them had some contests that thrilled severe. He met Jen's eyes. "Didn't the hive, but alWays some minor slip it ever occur to you what it's like of Jen's gave Fazzool the victory. to be passed over?" It was impossible for Jen to resent That sobered Jen. After a min­ Fazzool, however much one hated ute he said, "I-no. I didn't think to lose. Fazzool was modest and a man like Bargo ..." gracious about his victories. As a Trav gave him a sardonic smile. matter of fact, they became good "What do you suppose· he'd doing friends. here at his age? Did you ever hear of anyone coming back to a hive big batch of eighteen-year­ world?" A olds came in, and all the old­ "Well no. But how could a man er men were busy training them. like Bargo be passed over?" Then one day Jen returned from a "I don't know. Any more than I trip with a bunch of them to find know why I was passed over forty Bargo in a glum, bitter mood. years ago." "That'll be your last trip," the fore­ man said. III Jen looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?" But the fore­ he com blared, • Attention. man only turned and walked away. T the following men will line up Jen sought out Trav. "What's in numerical order immediatelv at wrong with Bargo? Have I done the med booth. Skell, number· 376 something wrong?" 19 61. Jen, number 377 03 50. "Did he snap at you?" Redn, number ..." "No, but he'd hardly talk to me. Always before, the man in front And he said-" of J en had come back out of the "He's always that way when med booth. This time he didn't, and there's a draft." Jen went in a little nervously. The "A draft!" Jen stared at the old door closed behind him and he 14 IP' squeezed his eyes shut against the en had seen members of tho usual sprays. Blasts of warm air J Overseer race, but not close left him itching. A voice said, "What up. This one stood on a low plat­ is that bruise on your left thigh?" form in a large auditorium and ad­ "I fell in a treadbag, while I was. dressed them. He spoke B'lant showing novices a maneuver." rather than English, since there A metal tentacle came from the were more B'lant present than hu­ wall and put its mouthlike tip mans. (All hunanoids had to learn against the bruise. There was a tiny those two languages.) He told them needleprick and the voice said, he'd be their commander all through "That'll fix it. Take a deep breath, Advanced School, until .they were now." The tentacle came up to lis­ requisitioned to Fleets or other ser­ ten to his heart. vice and were full-fledged warriors When the pricks and thumpings of Gree. He looked almost human, and mouth-sprays-to-gargle were except for the extremely wide-set over, a panel opened in the ~yes and broad short nose, and he back of the booth, where he'ci nev­ smiled at them in a .friendly way. er suspected one, and he stepped He wore a one-piece coverall with through. He was in an unfamiliar the Symbol of Gree worked onto corridor. He walked along it to a the left breast. He carried a laser turn, and saw humanoids ahead of pistol in a holster at his belt. him. Farther on he saw Skell walk­ "There) one formality w~ have ing. A humanoid stepped from a to take care of," he told them at side-passage just ahead of him and the last. "I must mark you with my they both stopped, startled. personal ideograph. It will be your The line gradually filled in, and identification and safeguard in case when it came to a stand there "ere you get lost, until you nave a dif­ about two humanoids between him ferent commander, when it will be and Skell. Ahead of Skell, a B'lant changed. I'll also put your numbers stepped out of line and came back. on you now. I don't have to do that Jen recognized Fazzool, "Zo," the here and now, but we have time, leathery humanoid said, falling in and it gives me a chance to know beside him. "We draft togezzer! each of you individually." Maybe we big heros and see much They had to file past htm one sport, and many strange zings., at a time, while he implanted his Jen laughed. That pretty much mark and their numbers on their expressed his own feelings. "Mayl-e hips. It was done invisibly, by a sty­ I can wrestle the Bird of Effogus," lus that left tiny magnetic particles he said, "Even if I can't wrestle in the skin that could only be read with you." with the proper instrument. It itched The com said, "Quiet in line, for a while. please. You'll be moving in a mo­ Jen noticed that whenever they ment. You're about to meet your were lined up, the men and the Overseer." B'lant always came first. Also, they

THE SLAVES OF GREE 15 got preferential seating. The other sealed it, but didn't inflate. It would humanoids did not seem to mind. inflate when be got in the bag, which As soon as the marking was fin­ would only be at four pounds. The ished they were fed, then marched other draftees in the chamber with to a tunnel-train that bore them on him all looked soared. monotonously for two hours. Then The spacebag was of clear plas­ they transferred to what could only tic no thicker than that of a huntin& be a spaceship. model treadbag, but this bag was was elongated from bub to hub en found his first sight of rather than flattened. Slirong cords J space disappointing. It was too ran from three points equidistant much like the training films; and of around the rim of each hub to cor­ course he'd been in the gray cham­ responding points on the other. ber many times so free-fall was no There was room between the three novelty. Most of the others seemed ropes to position oneself comfort­ to enjoy it more. ably, but he found that the problem Their destination must have been was to avoid pulling on one and many light-years from the hive deforming the bag when he didn't world, for they nulled out three want to. Tilting the hubs naturally times, spacing in twice for correc­ tilted the grav drive and affected tions any maybe as evasive action in his aim. Now at last he was react­ case enemy ship detected them. Then ing to Space. He had to fight panic the third time they were within for a few seconds as he skewed off easy telescope range of the Ad­ course, then overcorrected and got vanced School. the bag into a very confusing end­ It was a collection of spheres for-end tumble. He forced himself to and cylinders, some connected by relax and consider the problem. what looked like threads from here, He was in no real trouble; at worst some in slow orbit around the cen­ he'd pass within a short distance of tral group. Lights, indistinguishable the cylinder he had to attain. Ahead from stars except by relative mo­ of him he could see bags in even tion, crawled here and there. Every worse spins, and one drifting out at globe or cylinder had at least two a sharp angle. The occupant of that ports lit up, and some were spang­ one was curled up in a tight ball, led with lights. The whole thing arms wrapped around his head. A looked like an elaborate toy. light was moving out from the Now, as .first indoctrination in School to make the rescue; but that actual space, each draftee had to was one who'd obviously flunked the leave .the ship in a spacebag and test. get himself over to the School. Jen He found he could judge his own got in the de-pressure chamber and drift even though the ship, the sta­ took deep breaths and exercises to tion and the stars were wheeling speed adjustment. He pulled his around him. The first thing to do suit's limp helmet over his head and was get his spin around the hub-to- 16 ll' hub axis. He gave the rotor jets of and worked at his wobble until it one hub a gentle blast. The result, was almost entirely gone; then he as the bag twisted and several ~ p!ns killed most of the lateral spin and fought, was disturbing, but he wait­ went drifting to the cylinder very ed it out and eventually things sta­ neatly. bilized. Now he had a precessing Larger bags, rigid and double­ wobble, not too fast to follow if he manned, were darting about res­ concentrated hard. He chose what cuing people. Jen passed Redn very he felt were the right side-jets and close, and saw the strain on the touched them lightly. After anoth­ other man's face. A moment later er period of distortion, the bag set­ one of the heavy bags eased into tled to a lateral spin with a small Redn's path and absorbed some of wobble. He let that go and concen­ his momentum. Then they came trated on his course. A few careful over to look at Jen, gave him a pair spurts got his long axis lined up and of grins, and left him. He wanted a little over-corrected, which was very much to hit the net at the cy­ what·· he needed. Now a mild grav linder without any help. He made thrust brought him on course, or small corrections and got some near enough. But he was overtak­ wobble again, but ignored it. He ing bags ahead. He retroed a little was on course. and got his speed about right. He He hit near the edge of the net was feeling proud of himself now, and it took up the shock. He worked

THE SlAVES OF GREE 17 furiously with a grapple and got it they could to simulate gravity, hooked around a strand. He re­ barked at by instructors, until they laxed, perspiring. Then he saw an­ were exhausted. Some grumbled. other bag coming straight at the but Jen didn't. He wanted to keep net, faster than he had. At the last his strength, and also to be able to moment it checked and drifted in eat what he liked and digest it after­ neatly with very little wobble. It ward. touched almost the exact center of After nearly eight hundred hours, the net and a grapple caught on the Overseer decided they'd earned casually. Jen felt his face grow a twenty-hour vacation. A ship warmer as he met Fazzool's grin. whisked them through null to a rec­ reation world, where they staged an he ship that had brought orgy that made the .Overseer shake T them stood by for ten hours. At his head and say he'd never quite the end of that time it left, taking seen their match for pure debauch­ with it those who'd flunked the ery. transfer · plus four others who That was the time Fazzool, by couldn't seem to adjust to steady pulling a quick swap in the dark, weightlessness, despite their pre­ maneuvered Jen into a rather inti­ viously passing in the grav tanks. mate position with a B'lant woman, There'd be service for them, and and an especially leathery one at maybe even combat, but not in that. It was rather a horrible shock, space. Holl was one of them. but everyone had a lot of fun out of Now the class settled into a rou­ it and it made Jen a minor legend tine of hard work. They were learn­ at the School. ing not only how to apply in actual Except for the rare vacations, the Space the physics and math they only days of relaxation were when knew, but aho the maintenance and they had free-fall wrestling or team operation o( a staggering array of games of tie-up, in a spherical gym­ equipment. All of it was fascinating, nasium where it was necessary to though, and most of it came easier thi~k and move in three dimensions. to Jen than to some of the others. The tie-up game was simple, so far Skell, who'd been so good up to as rules went: ten men on each side now, flunked out on blunders, along endeavored to tie up their oppon­ with a few humanoids. The Over­ ents with short length of rope. An seer was a fiend in his insistence on amazing amount of strategy deve­ detail and perfection, and some­ loped, with Jen and Fazzool quick­ times when they got in from a long ly becoming the two best team lead­ drill he'd take them to do it over. ers in the class. Here, as every­ When they weren't out on those where, humans and B'lant seemed they had to spend long hours at ex­ naturally to lead, other humanoids ercise, usually in a cylinder of com­ to follow. When they'd become paratively small circumference good at the game, the Overseer around which they ran as hard as made Jen and Fazzool co-leaders of

18 IF a class team and sent them into simple in theory, but tedious. He competition against other classes. fixed the figures in the computer. They did very well together. Next he used the small telescope to find all the variable or muttiple he eight thousand hours of stars of any brightness, and com­ T Advanced School were nearly pared his list with the star chart. past, and now there was one ulti­ He got no definite clues, but did mate test everyone must face. He eliminate some possibilities. He'd must find his way home in a space­ have to look for more subtle things. bag, from where a ship dropped There'd be some hint- the angle him. It would take him about one of a short-orbit binary, · or some­ hundred hours, and he had no ra­ thing. dio and no directions except what Finally the computer nudged up he knew of the local stars and an answer with a probability of bet­ what he could learn from a star­ ter than three to one. Dare he act chart and some instruments. There on that? The one chance in three of was alleged to be enough food, wa­ being wrong depended on ~he close­ ter, air and energy to keep him ness of his readings, and on me­ alive and bring him home - if used chanical error. He decided !o wait just right-and very little more. a little longer. Jen watched the ship pull away, Two hours later he re-.:hecked, then wink into null. The first thing found no change, and made some to do, he told himself, was to relax quick mental calculations. The posi­ and think about the problem. tion he suspected would fit with his By exercising just enough to keep being presently about ninety hours his circulation and digestion mov­ from the station, with the accelera­ ing, and eating barely enough to tion he planned. He stared in the avoid starving, he'd be sure of the indicated direction. The stars were food and air. There was a special cold and unfamiliar. If he were problem about the air- he could wrong, would they find him? There use some of it for jetting, and thus had been losses out of most groups, save battery power from the grav so they said. Gree was only a mor­ drive. But if he wasted too much tal after all, and not infallible; and compressed air, he'd have to recycle neither were his Overseers. And the bag's, and that used energy. even if they rescued him - he One thing he could not afford to could assure that by just going no­ do was drift away from the School, where- he did not" want to survive or propel himself even a few degrees and flunk. in the wrong direction. Therefore, He had no better information he couldn't waste too much time that what the computer offered so thinking before he located himself. far. He made up the programming First of all he had to determine and used the grav drive. 1f he the bag's spin very accurately, so wound up with extra air he could be could correct for it. That was always use it for jets later.

THE SLAVES OF GREE 19 Once he was com:nit:ed. though, watched them in a movie, and some he worried about his decision. If he of them would elude him entirely. used too much battery energy, the He endured grimly, clinging to hill extra air wouldn't do him any good. identity as Jen, who belonged to He needed the batteries to keep the Gree. bag warm. But at somewhere around seven­ Baro..ly fifteen hours had passed. ty-five hours- he wasn't paying enough attention to the rime now, 4 t thirty hours he was sure nor bothering to eat or exercise - i~ he was getting closer to the his skull seemed to get crowded. Sc!lWJI. but it looked as if he had Hot dizziness swept over bim. He enough error to pass it ~,ut of tele­ heard his voice cry :>ut distantly, scope range. Now he faced decision "No!" again. Pondering it only made his Then the tide rolled over him. nerves worse, so he ca!l:ula~d as close as he could and made the cor­ IV rections with compressed air. Then he did his exercises and a~e. and here seemed to be a bird in forced himself to relax; hut llnwel­ T the bag with Steve. It was the come thoughts kept coming. Did size of a condor, or larger, but it had Gree really worry about individual a head and face that were both el­ slaves? Suppose it were accepted fin-like and man-like, and a pair of that a certain number should die in small but strong-looking hands and training? Many died in c.Jmbat. arms. "Steve," it said to him m a And thinking of combat, what if dry whisper of a voice. "Major the enemy happened to space in Steve Duke. Come up." here? Glory was fine, but he He shook himself awake. He didn't want to die meanly in a· bag looked at the creature and said a without any weapons. four-letter word. "How'd you get At fifty hours he reached some here?'' kind of an emotional crisis· and had "I'm not real. Your own mind is to face the real question: citner he conjuring me up. We arranged it could keep a grip on himself or he that way, hut for technical reasons couldn't. Put that way, it was a lit­ we couldn't tell you." de easier. He simply mu~rered all He reached out a hand suddenly, his courage to face the threat. But found he could grasp nothing. "Hell! relaxing was harder than violent You look real. Solid." action would have been. And now "Pull yourself together," the whis­ something else was getting out of per said, "You're in danger. len's kilter. At times he could remember personality is beginning to waver." the creche and almost all his young­ Steve scowled. "Good riddance, er life; then those memories would if you ask me. I feel all right. What lhift to a different angle so they now?" seemed second-hand as if he'd only "Review. Question-and-answer.

20 IF At least we can make sure your a little contemptuous; on the other personality stays firm." he often found himself rooting for Steve swore again. "I don't need Ien. It was as he thought he might that childish stuff. I know who I feel toward a kid brother, if he had am." a kid brother. He said, more con­ "Don't be too sure. You need me, scientiously, "Things are all right. I as - an exterior personality- even have all of his impressions and mem· an artificial one - to focus on. It's ories. He has none of mine. As Ion& the only way we can keep things as that's true his environment will in the right relationship. All right tend to correct any drift, won't it?" now, who are you?" Steve sighed. He'd been over this "Yes," the Bird said, "so long so often. "Steve Duke. Major, Free as he doesn't go completely Earth Counter Force." off when he's alone. Now, I detect "What am /?" something ugly squirming around Steve grinned. "Bird of Effogus. in that cesspool mind of yours. Let's And you'd better not let me get you have it up and look at it." on a gun-screen while I'm working "All right," Steve said with a rush for Gree; because let me tell you, of willingness, "It's this. Concede I'm a-" that Gree is trying to conquer the "What is Gree?" galaxy, or a hefty piece of it. What "A son of a - oh, all right. In­ about you? If we help you stop vader. Tyrant. We're going to set­ him, maybe you'll just take over tle his hash as soon as I find out yourself. And as long as you want for you how to get at him." frankness ... they say Gree is hu­ "I wish we had your confidence manoid, at least. I'd just as soon be of that. Why did we choose you?" a slave to a humanoid as to a God "Because I was a dual personal­ damned bird. Rather." ity, and you could feed into the sub­ "Thank you. Let's go over it merged one the memories of a cap­ point by point. How long has Gree tured Gree slave." had Earth?" "You're reciting by rote," the "Damn you," Steve muttered, Bird accused. "Do you really feel "You've sure got me twisted up in­ what you're saying?" side. Arguing with myself ... Six "Yes, dainn it! I tell you every­ hundred years, according to you. thing is all right!" All right. You showed me evidence." "It isn't all right," the Bird said, "And what was Earth six hundred "Jen's beginning to float a little." years ago?" "He'll make it," Steve said. "He "Occupied the Solar System. does all right. He fools the Inquisi­ About to get to the stars." tors. And he's got guts. Or we've "What is Earth now?" got guts; or however it is." Steve "A hive planet. A breeding and realized his attitude toward Jen was training pen." ambivalent. On the one hand he felt "And how were you raised?"

THE SlAVES OF GREE - 21 "Free," Steve admitted unwilling- Nearly eighty hours gone. He must IJ, "knowing the truth. ..'' have slept quite a while; he felt re­ "Where?" freshed and a little more serene. "On a planet you gave us." He had only to endure now; endure "Correct. Now, about our beina and keep himself fit. The others birds." would be having it just as hard. "I suppose I have to believe the He took care of his needs and evidence," Steve said, "You were checked course again, as nearly u humanoid once. You mutated your­ he knew it. Hours passed. Finally self for wings and gave up a lot of he thought he saw a fuzzy spot of your material science. Still, that light that revolved in a small circle doesn't ..." around his fore-and-aft axis. He put "Which brings us to a point. the scope on it and trembled with How long, according to evidence excitement. He'd done i&! There you'll admit to believing, have we was only a small correction to make been capable of conquering a hefty · now; and since he didn't want to be piece of the galaxy, as you put it?" in too much below a hundred hours, "Well ... half a million years, he rctroed a little. There wu maybe." enough charge in the batteries to "And we didn't?" keep him warm. and a little com­ "No." pressed air to jet with. "Then doesn't your attitude seem He made a good net landing and foolish?" got through the lock, and got him­ "I suppose so." self out of the bag. He was stiff and "And now shall I tell you why lame, and his intestines felt stuffed you have such a suspicion?" up. The Overseer hurried to him, "I don't give a fig whether you beaming, and hustled him through tell me or not. Whether I tell an Inquisitor booth. On the other myself, is what I actually mean." side, the Overseer told him, "The "It's because you're just naturally best performance I've seen in a long a sour, disagreeable slob." time, Jen! A shower now, eh? Then "You picked me for the job." maybe something alcoholic?" "Yes. Which brings us back to "I guess so, sir." len's voice was where we started. You'd better go very hoarse. "The others ...?" back under now." "A very good record. Over half Steve concentrated hard on the in already, and only two under key phrase, remembering how it ninety-five hours, which is passing. sounded in an Inquisitor booth: The rest should all make it without "What ~o Gree's loyal slaves ..." help except six. They'll flunk, I'm afraid; but that's a low number; en awoke sobbing. He must and we won't lose one." J have been dreaming of Gree "Fazzool?" again. "About an hour away, and in fine He checked the chronometer. ,Shape. When we get you all in and

22 IF doctored up, there'll be vacation. depots soaked up energy and trans­ Forty hours this time!" formed it for beaming out to the Stations. Freighters darted between v Stations like bees, or popped out of null with mysterious cargoes from fter the vacation- during which ten thousand exotic worlds. A .Ten managed to sneak carbor­ len's transport was dropping to­ undum crystals into Fazzool's bed ward one of the stations, while he - there was a short period of re­ and the others crowded before a view and examinations. Then one screen. The station's · image bal­ waking-cycle the corns blared, "The looned until it filled .the screen, and following report to Overseer's of­ now Jen saw the fighting ships fice at once. Jen, number 337 03 50. nursed up to it in perfect ranks, like Fazzoo!, number . . ." piglets dwarfed against the belly of The Overseer was already empty­ a monstrous sow. The transport re­ ing his desk. He told them, "The troed; a huge port filled the screen. twenty highest scores in the class A screeching and shivering of metal, are going to a Fleet Base. You will a bell and a green light, and they be the only B'lant and the only hu­ were sealed on. man in the group, and you'll be The draft filed from the trans­ jointly in charge until you report in. port and lined up before an Inquis­ The other eighteen are being ad­ itor booth. Other groups, totaling vanced one grade. You are both be­ hundreds of draftees, were being ing advanced two. You will find the processed through. And this was assignment inspiring; and if you only one Station of the Base! maintain the same level of dili­ Jen reacted to the key question gence, the way is open for you to and sobbed out his answers in the go high in the service of Gree." booth, then he was through it, hand­ He came around tbe desk to shake ing his taped orders to an Over­ hands. "I've enjoyed working with seer. "Get your group to med first," you, and with the class in general. he told Jen and Fazzool, "then come I hope my next one will be as back here. You two double-graden good." - Jen and Fazzool, is it? -are The trip must have been long, for assigned to a crew at once." they made four jumps of it, but fi­ nally they spaced in within sight of hey saw no more of their the Base. T classmates when they'd gone This was a breathtakingly thick through med. An overseer - their starfield, but the Base was even new commander- put his ideo­ more awesome. A long chain of graph on them after erasing the old Stations, each bigger than the whole one, and took them via shuttle-car of the School they'd left, swung in across the great cylinder of the Sta­ distant orbit around a huge red star. tion to the sunward side, where they Farther in, a swarm of collector- went aboard his ship.

THE SLAVES OF GREE 23 This was only a Scout, with a There were so many things to do crew of twenty plus the skipper. in free time that none of them ever Actually, there were two crews; the need grow stale. There were fur­ second one, under another Overseer loughs to vacation worlds, space who was Second-in-command, being tours to fascinating planets, films, off duty now. The duty crew exhibitions, athletic contests. For bunked in the Station handy to the that matter, the Scout's missions ship. were fascinating. They'd null, and Jen and Fazzool had been made space in, twenty or thirty times per familiar with this standard class of trip; each time hanging dark and Scout at school. She had three sec­ with all power damped for a few tions, squat cylinders coupled end­ minutes, listening, since there was to-end by standard locks, the two always the chance, however small in outer ones being the only ways in the vastness of the galaxy, of stum­ and out of the ship. One was bling upon the enemy. But if things coupled to the Station when she was were quiet they'd take photographs home, and left open. and instrument readings, or perhaps The middle section was the living orbit an interesting planet. A few quarters, and there they bunked times they actually landed. Once when they were on duty. The two they were so long that at their end sections had duplicate power­ check-in point they found a drone generators and fighting equipment, awaiting them, a standard Scout, so that either could carry on by it­ unmanned and programmed just to self in a pinch. She had her own hop here and back. They squirted mess and was proud of it, and the it a message and it vanished into food was the best Jen had ever eat­ null to go home and report they en. The discipline was not harsh, were all right. though no one loafed. Everyone was But on the Scout's nineteenth or concerned with keeping the Scout twentieth mission, one of their hops shipshape, and that was it. dumped them right into the midst of Jen was disappointed at first that a battle. he and Fazzool hadn't gotten a capital ship, but his feeling changed VI fast. The Scout was his ship now. Still, he loved to sign out a bag dur­ A hom bellowed. The Second in in~ free hours and go outside to look command who was in len's at the big ships. They were five-sec­ end of the ship, leaped for tional, each section a vastly wide but his battle-seat and strapped in with flat cylinder, with great missile ports his left hand while his right hov­ and laser-beam openings into which ered over a button. Crewmen he could have floated his bag. The poured from the middle-section ships were so big, in fact, that a lock. When they stopped coming standard Scout coupled onto the the Second dropped his fist on tho end lock as a tiny lifeboat. button and the lock slammed shut. 24 U' Screens were asquirm now with slightly hunched, as if expecting to green blips - friendly ships - and, be martyred any instant. The rain at the edges, a glob of yellow ones of debris on the hull was deafen­ which were the enemy. Short red ing now. Other Scouts were clus­ lines, crawling like worms, were the tered around, their combined auto­ enemy missiles. They'd obviously matics intercepting most of what gotten a jump on the friendly fleet. came by, headed for the Command Jen and Fazzool were in their Ship. seats and strapped down. They had the defensive armament for this end hen a heavy salvo. showed on of the ship; small counter-missiles T the screen, the big stuff, sur­ and one laser beam. The screen rounded by its swarm of protective went blank, then came on again smaller missiles. The Scout jumped with all the blips shifted, which again and the salvo leaped across meant the Scout had nulled out and the screen. She'd been put right in spaced in again some miles away. the path! And the salvo was coming That puzzled Jen for a second, then fast - far too fast. he realized she was locked into Barring miracles, it would sweep Fleet Command and was moving aside the Scouts, Jen's included, like with the other ships. The red worms so many gnats and go on to atomize on the screen wheeled and came on the Command Ship. The idea of again. It would be fifteen minutes death pervaded Jen's mind but it or more until enough energy accu­ was an impersonal thing, unimpor­ mulated to null again. The screen tant now. If he could just make a began to blink white with detona­ hole in that protection around the tions as the interception began. It main enemy salvo. Crack it; dent was impossible to follow as the au­ it; so Gree's missiles could get in! tomatics went to work, missiles and His fingers began to dance over his counter-missiles, with their built-in keyboard. Nearly everything in this computers and tactical sense, ma­ end of the Scout went blasting away neuvering at a hundred times hu­ in a compact group, pitifully small, man speed. The Scout shuddered but for that very reason not like:y and clanged as debris and expand­ to attract much attention. He let it ing gases hit her. go straight on collision. course for She lurched hard, twice, and Jen the hostile salvo. At the right in­ understood she'd been shifted to stant he'd maneuver. But soon - guard some important ship. A big his control would only last until the blip on the main screen, very near enemy jamming got strong. Nowl the center, would be the one. A He sent his missiles blossoming out circle glowed for an instant around like a flower, away from each other that blip, then was gone. The Com­ as if to attack from many angles. mand Ship herself! He darted a He built up a small concentration glance at the Second and saw the in the path of the salvo. But the in­ Overseer's face taut, his shoulders stants flew so fast, and brain and

THE SLAVES OF GREE 25 fingers were so slow. He was aware The Overseer, his face drained of Fazzool beside him, letting Jen and wooden, was unstrapping. He handle this while he, the B'lant, paused and listened as overseer atrove with the laser beam to fight language gobbled from the com. He off death from the Scout for just translated, "A reconnaissance in brief seconds, just enough time for force, we think. They won't be Jen to do whatever he was doing. back." He glanced at the screen, Now! Jen pulled his ludicrously where the big blip, close in, still overmatched missiles back into a glowed. The Command Ship's still tight group, shooting in at full ac­ alive, more or less, and we'll get the celeration toward the tiny flaw in credit for that. But I'm afraid our the defense where missiles had other two sections are dead." He pulled out to meet his feint. The looked at Jen for a few .moments. screen blinked with explosions. I don't like to demand it after the Then a great blinding flare! He'd way you've just fought, but some­ gotten something! And there was a one has to go outside .and inspect hole, if only for a second. Were damage. Two." there friendly missiles close enough Jen looked at Fazzool, who to exploit it? But the fight was on grinned. Jen said, "We're both pret­ top of the Scout now. She bucked ty good in bags, sir, and we've and screamed as steel tore into her worked together a lot." and great detonations made brief The Second smiled faintly. Jigantic winds in Space. There was "I know. I've got enough power to a jar so immense Jen's straps dug null if we have to, but the field into his body until he thought they'd would only extend a few yards; so tear him apart. The screens went stay very close to the hull. I think, blind-white, then black. All the though, we'll be here a while." lights went out. Then they came on again as circuit-breakers cut back en inflected the bag to a little in. J above ship's pressure, then The salvo was past, and there was sealed his suit and raised the suit only one more great flaring on the pressure a fraction of a pound. Faz­ screens, that lasted for many sec­ zool wasn't quite ready, so he pro­ onds and centered somewhere near pelled himself toward the lock and a the Command Ship. Then it was in­ humanoid opened it for him. credibly still, with only a faint Outside, he got a grapple on a thump now and then of slow-mov­ handhold and looked around while ing debris against the hull. The he waited for Fazzool. This was a screens ·showed a few distant flares dense starfield, so there was light as unimportant missiles went off. enough to see even the dark ships The enemy fleet had vanished from and the holes in them. There'd evi­ the screens. Nulled out, probably, dently been about twenty capital and with wisdom, for more of ships in this fleet, and somewhat Gree's fleets would be on the way. more of the enemy.

IJ' The Command Ship only lived the fleet, noting things Jen would nominally; one section out of the have ignored. It was the drones that five. Auxiliaries and bags clustered had brought him to the surface, he around it, at work already making knew - some planted command to rescues and emergency repairs. surface when he saw a possible way Drones winked in and out of exis­ to Gre~. Could he stow away on tence. Those would be carrying one? Not likely; they'd be moni­ battle reports to Central Command, tored inside as well as out. wherever that might be. A few of The lock opened and he put on them might even be reporting to what he hoped was a natural smile. Gree himself. Wherever he was. They propelled their bags along That last thought made Jen's blood the end and around to the cylindri­ pound. He sent a little cool air into cal side. The middle compartment his helmet, but it didn't help. The was holed in several places and crowded dizziness grew. Alarmed, completely dark. Two crewmen he looked to make sure his grapple should have been on duty there. was tight. Then he blacked out. Fazzool maneuvered his bag to throw a light-beam in and they saw Steve shot a glance at the tell­ the two bodies. - tale light and saw the lock was They went to the far sectiOn, pumping down. Fazzool would be where the skipper bad been. It was put in seconds. He stared around at in even worse shape, with great

THf SLA YES OF GREE 27 jagged holes. Steve studied one and lock and inside. He floated, pum­ decided they could get the bags in. meling his mind for a plan. They He went in first, and aimed his light must be getting worried about him for Fazzool. It came to him that it by now. would be very easy to shove the A note to Jen from the Skipper! B'lant's bag against the jagged steel But there was no time to write it and rip it. But Fazzool would still now. He got more compartment be in a suit. And what was the prof­ open, found a pencil and notepad, it just now? got them into the bag. Now if be There was nobody alive in the could arrange for the rest of the section. The skipper had died in his Scout to die ... battle-seat. There was no power. He stared at the pow~r unit. No Steve wished he were alone. There way to set off fuel without killing were some things he'd have loved himself too. A missile? There tq give more attention. were still a few left in this end. But They checked what they had to how would he set it off, with enough and went back outside. At the live delay to let him get clear? It would end Steve lagged a little and let be easy enough to position it so it Fazzool reach the lock first. He would streak through tlte middle wanted a few more minutes outside section and blast the bulkhead be. to look around and think. yond. Could he rig some radio con~ The drones still came and went. trol to fire it? Not in less than The only way he'd get into one was hours. But there must be a way. with clearance from an Overseer. All he had to do was set off the He stiffened. Maybe he could ar­ driving charge. range that. The skipper's laser gun! He glanced at the tell-tale light. He'd have a few minutes before e went back to the corpse, they began to wonder, inside. He H tore at the holster and got the shot back around the hull into the gun, then went for a missile. He jagged hole. He hesitated, wonder­ didn't take the biggest. No use ad• ing if he could work out of a bag. vertising to the whole fleet; a small But the suit would stiffen with the penetration would do. There was big pressure differential. .. He pro­ a hole in the bulkhead he could put pelled over to the dead skipper and it in, but he needed something to wedged his bag between a seat and jam it in with. A corpse ... He •got the bulkhead so his grapple was po­ one and stuffed it into the hole, sitioned about right. In some com• pushed the missile in alongside. The partment of the skipper's panel gun fit nicely in a pocket of the would be what he wanted. corpse's suit so it wouldn't float He got one compartment open. away. He aimed it at the missile's Food. He tore at others, finally casing, in what he hoped was the found the magnetic marker. He right spot, and set it for low power maneuvered it to the bag's jettison and steady operation. When he

28 If' triggered it the casing be~; .. :: to ready supplied it. He happened to glew at once. Scared now, he pro­ know that there had been an inno­ pelled out of the hole and shot away vation used. He hoped the informa­ from the Scout. He turned in time tion was expendable. to see the masked flare. Vapor and He suited up, then jettisoned the debris puffed out. There were no pencil, notepad and marker, nudg­ lights left that he could see. He let ing them with the bag so they'd out his breath and relaxed for a float away. Now there was one more moment, grinning like an adoles­ thing to do before putting himseH cent. Then he took a grip on him­ under and letting Jen carry the ball self. Not time yet to be feeling so for a while. He must injure 'himself damned clever. slightly, to make things plausible. A He wrote in pencil, trying to im­ bump on the head? Banal; and he'd itate the dead skipper's writing, in already used that once. He grinned. English, "Jen: you are unconscious Simple enough - a bloody nose as I write, but you are not wound­ would look like pressure trouble or ed and you will live if we get you concussion. He brought the heel of into a bag. The rest of us won't. his hand against the front of the You are marked with a very im­ helmet, hard. When he tasted blood portant message. Take this note he exhaled through his nose to spat­ without delay to the Overseer in ter the inside of the helmet. Then he command of the fleet. Give it to relaxed and thought hard about no one else and do not let anyone Gree, and asked himself the key examine you. These are your orders. question. Good luck" Then he faked the skip­ per's ideograph. VII Now he took the magnetic mark­ er and added more, in the Overseer en came to with the taste of script. Slaves weren't supposed to J blood in his mouth and a trickle know that, but the bird of Effogus of it in his nose. He was in a suit had taught him many things. Final­ and a bag, which agreed with what ly he unsealed his suit and prepared he remembered last- starting out­ to mark the message on himself. He side with Fazzool. What had hap­ hesitated. Dare he do it this way? pened? And where had the note It would prove' that the suit had come from that was gummed to the been unsealed. and in breathable hub before his face? He read it. Evi­ air, when the message was implant­ dently the other sections of the ed. He couldn't think of anything Scout had not been dead; the note better. He put the message on his was from the skipper. He turned to stomach, describing a new type of peer at the Scout. She looked dead enemy missile. If he wrote the script now. awkwardly, that was as a dying Grief welled up in him. Was Overseer might write. And if they Fazzool dead then, along with the wanted any confirmation about the rest? They'd given Jen this chance enemy missile, the battle had al- to live. Maybe Fazzool himself,

THE SLAVES OF GREE 29 with his last strength, had sealed the up. "Did ,you plan that little pene­ bag and pushed it into the lock. tration and execute it?" No matter how badly he felt, he "Yes." must carry out the skipper's orders. The other looked at him for ~ He propelled himself toward the long time, then said, "I think it will Command ship. He reached for the be a good idea to send you along radio controls, then hesitated. Best to Central Command, message and not to transmit. Instead, he used all. It's something they'll want to the bag's light to signal. study, and your recollections of trye As he approached a sentry-giobe battle will be very heiP.ful." He intercepted him and listened to his motioned to an aide to take care of story. It called an Overseer who the details. tried hard to convince him that the Fleet Commander was far too busy ·The drone they put him in was to listen to second-grader slaves. a standard Scout, with the liv­ Jen was humble but persistent. Fi­ ing comfort mostly replaced by nally the Overseer took him to the automatic equipment, but with ship's Second, who read the ROte space for two or three passengers. and phoned the Commander. They He was alone. were told to take Jen in. Central Command, which they It was good to be out of the bag reached in three hops, looked more and the suit. They gave him a damp like some small outpose on a prim­ cloth to wipe his face with, and a itive world. Actually, the Command drink of stimulant, after he told was in orbiting ships, ready to IWll them he didn't need a medico. Then out at the first hint of trouble. They they put him through an Inquisitor sent the drone away and put Jen booth. through an Inquisitor bomh which The Commander asked, "Did you asked him an unusual number of see this written?" questions. Finally they shuttled him "No, sir." to a different ship and read the "Come. We'll put it under a message implanted in his skin. marker." An Overseer took charge of him, They found the invisible writing, erased the old ideograph and sub­ then asked him, "Do you know stituted a new one, and said they'd where it's implanted?" probably send him back to his Base He rubbed his middle. "It itches as soon as a drone could be spared. here." He also said Jen would doubtless be When they'd read it, the Com­ decorated and advanced another mander said, "Do you know what grade for his part in the battle. this implant's about?" They gave him a temporary bunk "No, sir." in a barracks with a few other odds "What was your battle station?" and ends of slaves. "Counter-missiles, sir." After he'd had only a few hours The Overseer's eyebrows went sleep they called him back to bia

30 IP' new Overseer's office again. As he ·They went in -a drone, with- floated in, a B'lant already rhere out any way to see out of it, turned and grinned at him. Fazzool! in two hops. Steve managed to skirt Jen gaped, then launched himself around the precarious conversation­ forward with a cry. But at that in­ al points. It was very fortunate for stant the familiar hot dizziness rose him that they hadn't given Fazzool up in him ... a transcript of Jen's story. But that Steve surfaced in panic. He em­ good luck was only temporary, of braced Fazzool, using that to hide course. The Bird came and hov· his face for a few seconds until he ered at the edge of his mind tr.r a could get control of himself. Then minute, whispering, Cart!/ul,. Keep he drew back arid said, "You're your head. alive! How ...?" Easy to say. Fazzool, grinning like a child, The drone bumped -2own some· said, "I zot you dead too! When ze where and a com said, "Suit up and final blast come, you still outside, inflate to seven pounds." or in ze lock-" By the time the lock opene,f the · "I - in the lock, I think," Steve drone was down to less than seven said, trying to make his dismay look pounds, so the suits were mildly like something else. If Fazzool had rigid. Steve took a few pulls of oxy­ a clear recollection, his story would gen so he'd be alert. But they went damn Steve's- or len's -like a from the drone into a sealed sur· spotlight. "But you -but there was face vehicle of some kind and rolled the note-" away under low gravity. Tentative­ "I was halfway out ze bag," Paz­ ly, he decided this was a small, air· zoo! said. "I remember zat. Ze less planet. Far from any visible in· shock stun me When I come to ze stallations, probably, and guarded at ozzers all dead, but my suit not a distance rather than close in, and punctured. Zen I go outside to look with only a few drones visiting it. for you, and when zere no sign I And probably only one of many to go to big ship for help, because I which Gree could retreat, if the zpt you drifting even if not dead." slightest threat appeared. The Overseer said, "In a suit, he They travelled for fifteen minutes went. He had no bag." or so and coupled on somewhere, Fazzool grinned. "T am real care­ and they were let out into a large ful, and it not far enough to freeze lock of about the same pressure and zrough my tough skin." told to unsuit. The air was oxygen­ "Well." the Overseer said, "you rich. An Overseer led them silently two have had your reunion. And I to an Inquisitor booth. Steve had no have a very pleasant piece of news choice but to submerge. for you. Being the heroes of the bat­ "Gree is All ..." tle, and having vital recollections of len left the booth and stood a it, you're going to have an audience moment while the emotion subsid­ with Gree himself." ed. It didn't all leave. He was so

THE SLAVES OF GREE 31 full of joy that his breath kept catch­ grammed to ask and to listen like ing. Fazzool had survived the bat­ Gree; it did not matter. He pushed tle after all, and they were both himself upright but still hung his about to see the Master! And after head. The voice said, "Be glad. Look that there was no imagining the ad­ at me." ventures and glories that awaited Jen's tears stopped and he looked them. He glanced at the Overseer. up. The Overseer wore a reverent look too. ree was certainly humanoid, Fazzool emerged, Wipmg his G if one could elevate the word, eyes, and they followed the Overseer He was tall; taller than Jen or around a turn and into a wide hall Fazzool or the Overseer by. perhaps with a low ceiling and a single a foot. His shoulders were broad, plain door at its other end. The his build supple and young. But the Symbol of Gree, in massive metal, gray strands in his curly black hair blocked the door. From behind it and beard showed his maturity. He came six humanoids and an Over­ wore a suit of dark material which seer, walking silently, faces full of almost certainly had precious metals glory. woven into it. At his throat a jabot Jen's own escort led them for­ of the purest white cloth set off he ward. short-cropped beard and his olive The room beyond was dim, but skin. The face was just sufficiently at one end lights glowed upon a tall marked with care. The eyebrows figure standing on a low platform. pulled down at the middle, but Jen could not lift his eyes to it. arched . up and tilted at the outer His feet carried him mechanically ends almost mischievously. 1 he eyes upon a thick dark rug. Three chairs were very long and narrow, with stood ready, as if they'd just been full lashes and long folds of skin at placed. But when he reached them, the inner corners. The irise-s were instead of sitting he threw himself very light gray and had black ver­ down and buried his face in the rug. tical slits for pupils that looked into He felt Fazzool land beside him, one's soul for the slightest 8hadow sobbing as he was. The quiet sweet of unworthiness. Jen shuddered and music rose a little in volume. was glad he bore no flaws. The gentle voice he'd known all The nose, delicate at the bridge. his life said, "Arise, my children.'' swel!ed to a very broad base, a Then, the Inquisitor was Gree him­ trifle uptilted so it showed large self! Someh"ow that made Jen inex­ nostrils. There was a curl of mus­ pressibly happy, as if loneliness and tache above the wide, full-lipped disco.ntent were impossble forever. mouth. The mouth seemed both A foul thought nudged at his mind: stern and faintly smiling at the same How could Gree be so many places time. The skin drew in tautly un­ at once? He thrusted it away, der sharp cheekbones, to a gaunt ashamed. Gree or booths pro- jaw that was square and outthrust

32 II' under the beard. On the head, set He edged to the right close to the hair like two tree-trunks, were two Overseer, as if overcome with emo­ horns, straight, an inch thick and tion; half-turned and put his left five inches long, with blunt knobby hand on the officer's arm. At the ends. They were intricately carved same instant he contrived to push and inset with gems, and they held a chair against the Overseer's thigh len's eyes in fascination. or a diversion. Deftly, he got hia Gree was frightening. Gree was fingers on the Overseer's holster; reassuring. He stirred memories of masking the moment with his the creche-father; and other mem­ own body. He managed to press the ories vaguer but just as fond. He release-button without putting pres­ made Jen want to serve him for­ sure against the Overseer's thigh. ever; to rush out and batter down The gun slipped out easily. all his enemies. The Overseer spoke to him reas­ The lips parted. "I have listened suringly, and he nodded and drew to the accounts of the battle you clear. Gree was watching with a pa­ were in, and one of my reas1ms for tient expression. Steve jerked the bringing you here was to honor the gun up and fired straight at the your heroism. There is another rea­ wide eyes. The beam raked ugly son. The Bird of Effogus used some raw welts across the face and left a new device or tactic, and we must bubbling where the eyes had b~en. learn of it at once. So far, your A laser beam shot out from some­ recollection have not been com­ where in the abdomen, but Steve plete." had already leaped behind the Over­ Jen felt a new stir of fear seer, who took it in the chest. He and was ashamed of it. screamed and sagged, but Steve The voice went on, Apparently gave him a squirt in the kidneys to each of you was un.::o:-~scious for a make sure. Then he raked Gree time, but in diff.::rent parts of the across the middle. ship." The tall form, horrible to look at Now Jen's fear was like a siren. now, stood unswaying, and Steve He felt the bot dizziness again. knew suddenly that it was not na­ turally alive. He whirled toward VII Fazzool. They both stood motion­ less for one frozen instant while he teve averted his eyes so any read the beginning of comprehen­ S change in them wouldn't show. sion, and of other things, in the He knew he was very close to death B'lant's face. He _had the gun now, but fear was thin before a aimed at that face, but some com­ mightier urge which an abstract pulsion made him lower it to the part of his mind recognized as a chest instead. He could hear and planted command. It trembled in see the tough skin sizzle where the every vein and muscle. and seemed beam hit. Fazzool jerked double, almost to shout aloud: "Kill! Killl" fell, and lay still. Steve dropped the

THE SLAVES OF GREE 33 gun as if it had suddenly grown surface, patterned differently at dif. white-hot, then, furious at himself, ferent spots. Could an intelligence picked it up and whirled toward be programmed into a length of Gree. He was in time to see the big metal? No doubt. Especially if i& body split to the waist and fall, were not homogeneous, but differ· limply. Where the spine might have entiated into a million tiny cells. It been, what looked like a yard of felt solid. It hung writhing from his thick metal cable hung in mid-air, hand, like a metal snake, as he contorting. A beam flashed from it, plunged into the darkness. The pan­ but blindly. Steve raked it until his el closed behind them. own gun went dead. It fell to the He was in what looked like an floor and lay twisting. artificial cave. The only light came Doors slammed shut somewhere. from fifty yards away where a If lie guessed right, no one, not Scout was parked. Above it was a even Overseers, would be permitted gantry-work, apparently to open a to see -that the Master had fallen. door of some kind. He dashed for More than likely, there were other the Scout and thrust himself into the Grees. Maybe there was a whole open lock. The thing in his hand race of the cable-things. gave off sparks and a.rasping sound, He glanced at Fazzool's inert and a smell of ozone, as it scraped body. Maybe," he snarled unstead­ against the steel. The lock slammed ily, "you'll stay dead this time!" behind them. A panel was opening at the rear They nulled without waiting to of the room, and the metal thing on get clear of the cave. He grinned. the floor writhed toward it. It was If circuits watched, he'd look like a trying to escape to somewhere. And rescuer. that meant a possible avenue for There was no one in the drone Steve! to challenge him. And now he had precious minutes, out here in some H e ran for the opening, then unmarked wilderness of Space, be­ stopped suddenly. The cable fore they could null again! thing might be insurance of a sort. He shoved himself toward the There might be circuits tuned to it, computers, from which the standard that would pass it, but not a man. keyboards had been removed. No It showed no sign of being aware telling how the cable-thing con­ of him now, nor of anything but its trolled them. He thumbed fasteners, own agony and need to escape. He got the panel off and stared at the grabbed the cloth from around the circuits inside. The wiring was fa­ neck of the Gree-body, which miliar, and by shorting certain leads moved slowly with some demi-life he could simulate the pressing of of its own, and used the cloth to keys. But where would he go? Arzry­ insulate his hand from the cable­ where but where the Scout was pro­ thing. He picked it up. It was more grammed to go! At least he could than an inch thick, with a grainy gain time.

34 He made the short-circuits that ing before they realize it's missing." gave him an override on the pro­ gramming. he war would take a long A set of co-ordinates came into T time still, even though the sur­ his mind and he acted on them. He prise attacks had gotten many of was ready minutes before the accu­ the cable-things. There were still mulators had charge enough to null. thousands of die-hard fighting ships, He waited, half expecting some and the Overseer race, and an em­ creature to crawl out of some­ pire. where and ray him down; or the Steve was back in the fighting as drone itself to come to life. The ca­ soon as he got tired of posing ble-thing had subsided to a slow un­ around in public. They gave him a dulating. Scout group; ships almost as good They nulled, and he relaxed a lit­ as the Gree Scouts. tle. He wasn't near any stars. But But even after his brilliant per­ why had he chosen this spot? No formance when it came to the doubt from a command planted in preparations for the re-taking of his mind. Earth - the original Earth - they That turned out to be the case. wouldn't give him a higher com­ The com clicked and rattled and mand. said in a familiar whisper, "We're He resented that, but didn't coming in, Major Duke." brood about it. He was seeing ac­ Two of the Birds he already tion. And between missions he had knew. The other had so much rank all he could eat or drink or wear even Steve was awed. That one said, or take to bed. looking at the cable-thing, "Do you He wished, though, that they know what you've got here, Major?" could do something about the oth­ Steve shrugged. "It controlled er personality. Though they assu red what passed for Gree. Or one Gree." him Jen could never surface agai n "It's one of the Invaders. And with unless Steve willed it, Jen was still what we can read out of it, we can there somewhere. And sometimes find a Jot more. If we can get mov- he was partly awake. END

·------~------The fastest, funniest RETIEF story yet! THE CASTLE OF LIGHT

by· Keith Laumer

Complete in the next issue of IF-plus conclusion of Robert Heinlein's L------great novel, fCU"nham's freehold, and many more stories! THE SLAVES OF GREE 35 IF • Short Stor~ A AS IN ANDROID

BY FRANCES T. HALL

He awaited the entrance of his executioner-and found, instead, . himself/

efore I saw his face, I thought had rigged the doorway with it B the man was Loyalty Monitor against a day like this. A man in my Hartch, my executioner. He had got position couldn't be too careful. I in while I was looking out the win­ was on the manufacturing end of dow. Should I call it a life now and some of the Loyalty Police's gad­ jump out, or wait for Hartch to in­ gets. I don't mean their walky-talkies, cinerate me? The Loyalty police had but the unspeakable things they a neat, clean way of doing it these carry in their gray gladstones. (The days, leaving scarcely an ash. And things a man lets himself be sucked my blaster was in a desk half way into, to disarm suspicion and prove across the room. ~is cooperativeness, while he looks My usual place of business had for a place to plant the shiv in the seemed the best place to hide. If whole system!) Smithson had not talked, my pres­ But I had the disadvantage of a ence here was only to be expected; stern neo-Calvinistic upbringing. if he had, here was the last place That was an anti-survival factor that they'd look. 'Oh, they'd be here­ had already cost us some of the Monitor Hartch was as thorough as best man of our sect - one of which he was corrupt- but last, not first. I had proved I was not. The man Had I been less bemused I'd have in the mirror just couldn't stomach heard him coming and pressed the all this, and he saw to it that I stud in my pocket that would acti­ couldn't, either. vate the sonic nerve-disruptor. I When things moved too slowly the cooperative way, I had involved chosen for this job." It puzzled me, myself in a humanitarian, if belated in fact, that there was a duplicate. plot to relieve Earth of Our Beloved Humanics was meticulous about Leader's services - and life. such things. Stupid? Of course it was. But one But it looked as though Our Be­ is forced into stupid things from loved Leader's Loyalty Police had time to time to appease the man in taken them and their pattern-files the mirror. Now one of my co-plot­ over, too, by now. And 0. B. L.'s ters had been picked up. It was a boys would be less fussy than Hum­ risk we had all taken, but that didn't anics about waiting for a man to make things any easier. now. Smith­ die before making his andirod­ son was a good man, but when In­ duplicate. terrogation happens it's just a ques­ Yet what purpose could be served tion of time. Even had I sprung my now by this? little trap when the man came in, it The android himself looked puz­ would have given me only a few zled as his eyes followed mine. Then minutes' headway- with no place he let me have it and it hit me like to head for. a thunder-bolt. Even now I didn't see the man's "I'm in from Cauldron and I'm face because I was starring at his going back within the hour. I'm glad gray gladstone. Executioner Hartch I didn't miss you, Ben." was also an interrogator, then. The Blankly, I looked at him again. bag would contain equipment to ex­ Lean and keen and browned in a tract from me any names and other whiter sun than Sol. And a certain information that the unlucky Smith­ look in his eyes . . . Yes. I knew son might have missed. I edged now who he was. Worse, I knew closer to the blaster in the drawer why he was here. as the man spoke. "You're the pattern I sold to that "It's been a long time, Fornay." damned recruiter from Cauldron a This would not be Hartch's gam­ long time ago." bit. And the voice . . . I looked up He nodded. "I wondered if you'd - and the bottom of my stomach remember. Tell me, Ben, just when dropped out, because he was the did you decide to sell the pattern man in the mirror! you made on your twenty-first birth­ No, not quite. But-my visitor's day?" face was my face! Trouble never comes singly. I wasn't in enough of a spot for my Y ounger by a decade and more­ part in the plot against 0. B. L. but my face. Numbly, I won­ This android had to return now from dered that they would send such a that godforsaken hellhole fifty light­ person. I sat down, forgetting the years away to collect for his indig­ blaster. nities. "It puzzles me," I said cautious­ Before, I'd been about ready to ly, "that my duplicate should be call it quits. This android's presence A AS IN ANDROID 37 made everything different, I don't where you stand in all this. But I know why. What I wanted now was know now. You're doing business to knock him flat, then get out of with the Loyalty Police, right?" this room - and farther - and nev­ er have to look at him again. I must or an instant I had an impulse have got up. F to tell him the whole story. "Sit down, Ben Fornay. Let's Not that he could help me, only it talk." curdled me that my other self should His voice packed plenty of auth­ think I'd gone along easily after I ority and he looked well able to en­ learned the score. But the sarcasm force his command physically. I sat. in his voice cut home. A wave of "I - uhs - sold that pattern five hatred for him shook me. And yet years later, when I was twenty-six." . . . and yet . . . he was me! Can "What'd you use the money for, any man really hate l'limself? Ben?" "I'd rather hunt with the hounds The truth sounded incredible to than run with the hares," I said at me even as I spoke it. "To further last. "I joined them - Or at least Our Beloved Leader's career. In a I did business with them." small way, I helped' put him where "I've wondered how you were he is." I hadn't known then it would bettering yourself all these years be like this. I've been on Cauldron. Let me tell "Well, they cooked me up ten you what it's like out there, Ben. years after they go! hold of our - When you first wake up you're in of your pattern. You're forty-five a different room and you wonder now, Ben, and I'm thirty - in phys­ why they moved you. Then you ical age, that is, if you don't count notice everything, including your what Cauldron's done to me. Con­ arm, seems heavier and drops faster. sidering the shortage of ex-Human­ After a while the man comes to tell ics personnel on Cauldron, I guess I you that you're not Ben Fornay was lucky that they got around to who went into trance fifteen min­ me as soon as they did. Did you utes ago. Forney is the name of ever wonder about me?" some other guy fifty light-years away "Thought you were dead." and you're stuck with his past. Only "Sorry to disappoint you. Ben, you don't have time to sit down and do you know what it's like to wake digest all this because winds are up without warning on a strange howling outside and there's your planet?" · share of a ten-thousand-'hectare "I can imagine, uh- ?" paddy and tons of negil sporelings 1'Martin. John Martin." to be planted before noon. "Martin, I've had nightmares." "Ben, did you know that the fore­ "Have you, now?" John Martin's noon on Cauldron lasts five months? eyes raked the well appointed room. And the first four and a half of them "Changes have been made while I it rains. In the afternoon you work was away. I've been wondering just ill a temperature of 118 or up, keep- If IF ing a million poison-squirting water­ or two before. It was even more rav­ worms from eating or poisoning the enous than most for men. negil roots. You've got the little Some day, of course, Cauldron black bugs for company, chomping would be a tidy world where women away on your eyelashes. But nights could live, too, and youngsters are when you should be there, Ben. thrive. At least, that was what the The waterworms go, the slime-weed men of Cauldron had in mind. But comes, and the fever-midges swarm. right now the men of Cauldrol'\ had Now about these midges. They cover a tiger by the tail that they called your skin, they bore through your a terraforming project. To keep this boots, they - " from blowing out from under them "I get the picture." I did, too. in ten different colors, they had to He'd expect money. "So, Martin, put Earth's wealth to work where you chucked it all and came back it would do the mest good just as here, and you want me to move fast as they could get their hands on over and share the loot." But it it. The wealth came from their negil wasn't exactly my cash, and I hadn't crop, which they hand-processed and sequestered it from Hartch's sticky shipped to Earth. Terrans like Our fingers only to hand it over to John Beloved Leader and his cohorts Martin. "If you knew how fun­ prized the vile-tasting green powder ny-" for its rejuvenating properties. But "No, I'd rather survive on Caul­ the growing and harvesting and pro­ dron than the way you're doing it cessing of the stuff - plus the ter­ here. The other colonists, if you raforming going on at the same want to call us that, sent me here time, plus the colonists' own food to buy patterns -like me and like crops- required the cooperation of most of them. I've got them. They're great numbers of men- on a world stowed aboard the Star-Trader. Five not designed with regard to men's thousand new colonists, Ben, for the tolerances. From what I'd heard, is weight of one man. But the main was a steaming edition of Hades, reason I promoted this trip for my­ complete with smell. Upwards of self was to settle with you." seventy per :ent of the new colonists "If you don't want money, what died within months of midge fever do you want?" or other distempers. "I guess you could call it re­ But Martin had survived. venge." Martin seemed to be weigh­ "I survived. I even adapted. It's ing his words, as if uncertain how a new planet opening up, even if it to put what he had to say. A feint, is hell, and I've done well there. perhaps. I didn't take my .eyes off Have my own plantation now in the the android from Cauldron. terraformed sector and I'm testing out a new strain of sporelings ..." ou see, Cauldron was one of As Martin talked I'd been edging Y those frontier worlds staked out closer to that blaster. Now I reached by the FTL Corpsmen a generation for it. A AS IN ANDROID But he got there first. and rammed me, that step had to be back oast it against my belly. "Ben, don't try where Martin lay on the floor,· to things like that," he said, almost the desk where I kept the cash. The tiredly. "Your reflexes aren't what cash belonged to our project but ariy they used to be." membe~ could use it in an emer· I tried not to flinch. "You couldn't gency. It had seemed safe from blast me. It would be like blasting Hartch's cupidity; the man had an yourself." almost psychic affinity for other "Don't count on that too hard. people's money. At least it was safer Where would I be now if you'd got here than in one of the obvious there first?" With the blaster he ges­ places like home or under ground. tured toward the door. "Looks like I'd picked up the gladstone on the we'll have to do this the hard way. way past him. Now.I emptied it. All You're coming with me." it contained was a change of cloth­ "Coming where? My God, you're ing and a few odds and ends. not going to kill me?" My conscience, what was left of "Out!" it, staged a short-lived revolt. What Well, that doorway was what I was left of it was still bucking like wanted to go through. I went out. a bronc on the old tri-dis at things But also, my hand cupped the stud I'd been party to in recent years. in my pocket, and as Martin stepped You'd think he'd shut up now th:tt through I pressed it. I'd landed right here on the bulls· Martin collapsed to the floor with­ eye trying to make him happy. I out a sound. I fled. was in no mood for further ap­ Halfway down the hall I stopped peasement. It made i~ harder, though, running and started thinking. There that this android and I were closer was no place to go, so why hurry? than identical brothers. Leaving Martin had said he intended to re­ Martin here to Hartch's tender mer­ turn to Cauldron on the Star-Trader cies was almost a form of suicide. - today. He'd done right well there But I scot~;:hed that whole argu· in spite of everything. ment quick, as something out of the Maybe I'd sent the wrong one of old fanciful romances inspired by us off-planet. the Humanics idea in its early days. Things could hardly be hotter Humanics had made androids only there than they were here. In an in­ after the original was deceased. And stant my mind was made up. If I there must be a lot that the Human· stayed on Earth I was a dead man. ics people themselves didn't know, Worse, I'd betray others. I'd go to because I shook with unreasoning Cauldron on Martin's -that is, on hatred of this android. I wanted to the android's- ticket. If Hartch kill him with my bare hands, and didn't catch me first. he- He'd come back from fifty light­ journey to a star, we're told, years to settle our score, with only A begins with a single step. For his hands as weapon. IF That straightened me out on ev­ from Humanics that I'd made fiw erything. years earlier and sold it to him. I stuffed the ca~h into the glad­ I'd thought about that transaction stone. Then came the worst part, now and then. In fact, I'd tried not and I almost didn't make it. The to think about it, because of the ticket had to be on the android's guilty knowledge that that other "I" person ... went to Cauldron to undergo an agonizing death. And yet- f you were a Humanics client back Well, it wasn't only the cash: Or I in the old days, you simply went so I told myself at times, especial­ every three months or so to their ly since my opinion of O.B.L. had nearest center, for trance. During soured. In a way, I belonged on the trance, the biometry people record­ frontier world that I could never ed everything about you from your hope to buy a ticket for, since su::h gene pattern to your personality pat­ a ticket would cost a not-so-small tern, complete with memories con­ fortune. · There were outlets there scious and subconscious, up to mo­ for the energies that drove and ment of trance. Also, a micro­ goaded me and wasted themselves biopsy sample of your flesh was re­ and me, here on my home planets. moved and stored in a blob of DNA­ Sometimes I imagined that other had RNA complex, to use as a starter. survived. But even then that sarcas­ Humanics packed this whole record tic remnant of conscience wasn't of yours into a stasis-box the size satisfied; it pointed the finger at me of a sleeping capsule, and that was for that other ruthless, younger me that. Unless you died before your living on a storm-lashed planet, time. cursing me and the day he was re­ Then, after complying with cer­ created on that hell-world I'd sold tain legal requirements, Humanics him into- and that I'd never know. took your latest capsule and, using Kuzarian techniques, re-created you, had my ticket for Couldron­ to all intents and purposes. All that I which was a good thing, because was lost - aside from your per­ there seemed to be no ticket office sonal life and death, that is - was as such in the vast underground whatever experience and memory Spaceport Administration Building. had been added between your lat­ The only concession to the rare and est recording and your death. Im­ unsolicited interstellar passenger - mortality, of a sort. who took up a lot more room than The whole transaction about this valued cargo- was a small, ne­ android had begun some twenty­ glected waiting room whose bare five years earlier, when I was twen­ walls half-echoed with my footsteps ty-six. Legally, a man's patterns be­ as I crossed to scan the old-fashioned longed to himself. So, when this bulletin board in one comer. The man from Cauldron made me the riotice promineotiJ diJplayed there offer I promptly claimed a pattern informed: A AS JN ANDROID .CI LIFT-OFF FOR CAULDRON AT 12 old waiting room was oddly quiet. NOON. PASSENGERS NOW LOADING Oh, the building as a whole hummed with purposeful activity Once aboard, it would take prac­ and distant voices through distant tically an extradition order to get loudspeaker, but this room . was me off again, and it was now 1125. apart. I sat there and pointed out to I felt for the wallet and pulled it Martin - his eyes were still star­ out. The trouble was: with it I ing at me with that damned helpless pulled out the whole picture of the hatred, just as though he sat here other time I'd set eyes on it, when facing me instead of in that chair I'd been ransacking Martin's pockets. five miles away- that he was some­ I'd glanced in the wallet, seen the one else, that in any case I owed him big yellow ticket, then as I jammed nothing. As I say, I unqerstood per­ the wallet into my own pocket I fectly the depth of his hatred for saw that Martin's eyes were open and me. It didn't surprise me he'd gone he was staring at me. His eyes were to the trouble and expense or re­ practically all he'd be able to move turning to Terra to settle my guts - for five or six hours, and they an­ and would have succeeded, except noyed the hell out of me. In the for the sonic deadfall. And if he end, I propped him into the chair didn't, then the Loyalty Police behind my desk, faced him away, would - in spades. then got out fast with the wallet I tamped out the cigarette, got up and the gladstone and the blaster. and headed for that bulletin board Now, in the waiting room, I stuffed again to find out what I was sup­ the wallet back without looking in­ posed to do next. There were two side- and found I'd taken a couple more notices: of steps back towards the exit. I was reasonably safe - if I ALL VALUABLES MUST BE DEPOSIT­ stayed here until I could arrange to ED WITH PURSER PRIOR TO EMBARK­ board the Star-Trader. Starships as ATION. ALL BAGGAGE MUST BE DEPOSITED a refuge just didn't figure in any­ WITH PURSER FOR INSPECTION AND one's scheme of things. The fares TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS. were astronomical and access was by ticket only, even for the crew. The purser was a gray sort of It would be hours before Martin man who asked no questions. He could tell Hartch about that ticket. and his reflection in the mirrored I headed for a chair to light up and wall weighed the bags, and money pull myself together before any more changed hands. He asked me for my suicidal impulses toward that exit ticket to punch the transaction out took hold of me. I'd already done on, and that seemed to be that. I my Stupid Deed for the decade when opened the wallet. I joined up with the plotters in the "I'll record that now, sir, if you'll first place, and I sure couldn't af­ hand it to me." The purser's voice ford another stupidity this soon. The had a trace of impatience as I coo- 42 IF tinued staring sickly at what was in He was a thickset man startina my hand, because that was when I to run to jowls, and his black eyel first saw the second ticket. bored into me. John Martin had in that wallet "What made you think I'd come not only his own return ticket to here, Monitor Hartch?'' I heard my­ Cauldron, but an extra one, and the self ask him. extra ticket had my name on it. "Fornay, I wonder if you know Martin, then, bad not planned how close you came to getting away to kill me on the spot. without a trace. When all other In an instant my whole structure clues petered out I took a flyer on of rationalizations toppled- the your, uh, double, hel'e. I don't know ones I'd argued with John Martin's why you did this to him, but I felt accusing eyes in the waiting room. in my bones you'd come trotting His eyes now somehow meshed with back for him. I wanted to be on those that stared at me from the hand to collect when that Calvinis­ mirrored wall. They made it quite tic background of yours paid off in clear that when I walked onto that stupidity. And don't try your little starship alone, everything between deadfall again. I deactivated it." us would be over with. I saw my I didn't see Hartcb draw his band shaking. I got up and headed blaster, it was just in his hand. "Our blindly for the dom. Beloved Leader wants to see you, "Your bag, sir?" The purser's Fornay." voice was definitely annoyed. "If With Martin's absence I felt too you'ye changed your mind about go­ numb to resist- not that resistance ing, you'll want your bag back." was possible. All I said was, "Did I went back to his desk long you have to incinerate him, enough to check the baggage Hartch?" through- in Martin's name. Seemed A yellow-toothed smile took place the least I could do for him, though on his face. "Incinerate? No. I think the chances now of either of us ever Our Beioved Leader will want to having a use for that money were reserve that pleasure for himself. slightly less favorable than the prog­ With two of you he can have twice nosis for an ice-cube in hell. Then I the satisfaction." left the ·Administration Building and Martin, then, was still alive. My went back after John Martin. eyes went to the closet door and Hartch nodded. hen I got back the· door was Martin was there, all right, when W still open, but Martin wasn't Hartcb slid the door aside, but the there. Hartch was sprawled in the close quarters hadn't done him any chair instead. He whirled and faced -good. He lay in a crumpled heap, me and grinned like a man who's and it took me several seconds to just been paid off on a long-shot. be sure he still breathed. "I played a hunch you might Hartch was fiddliD& with his walk­ show up here, Fornay." talky.

A AS ~N ANDROID I said "Wllit! Let's talk business." ing to kill me but to rescue - " Ten minutes later we were back "Ben, I'm going to be honest. at the Spaceport Administration You should've left me in that closet. Building- Martin (still uncon­ Rescue, hell! If I'd known you need· scious), myself and Hartch. ed rescuing I'd probably have stayed Hartch flashed his badge at the home and farmed the profits back purser, who verified for him the sum into the plantation. I hated you of the cash in the gladstone. But the that much -or thought" I did. Kid­ bag was by now, of course, aboard naping was more what I had in the starship. The purser looked less mind. Wanted you to find out what gray and nondescript as he told you'd let that other self of yours in Hartch that only a written order for. You being so damned safe wu signed by the person in whose name what curdled me." the valuables were signed through "Safe!" could get them off the Star-Trader. "Huh? Oh hell, I'm not sorry I I had signed them through in Mar­ came back- except that you gave tin's name. But this presented no ser­ money to Hartch on my account." ious difficulty, since as far as the "And I'm not sorry I went back purser knew - or feigned to know for you - not that I had a real -I was John Martin. choice. We're really the same en­ I got Martin aboard and as com­ tity, John. You and I and the man fortable as possible before I signed in the mirror_ A man can't cut off the gladstone over to Hartch. his own arm, can he?" In the minutes remaining before '"Urn." lift-off I made one 25-cent coded "Don't worry about the .money. telephone call- and gof far more I had one name that poor Smith­ than my money's worth.;..,.. son didn't and I made a phone call - j before we left. Hartch and his funds ~n hours later, in hyperspace, were, shall I say, adequately met." l. Martin and I were sitting at "Good work," Martin grinned. the ship's tiny bar. "When we get to Cauldron I'll have "So that second ticket was what a quarterly share waiting for me. made you come back for me. I'd like to put it where it'll do the Propped in that chair I was sure I most good." wouldn't be on the Star-Trader when "I'll help you put it there if­ she left." John. D'you think I can fit in?" "Good God, you must've bought "You may wish you'd chosen to that ticket out of your own pocket!" stay home and be killed. But if you "Saved every credit of my profits can live through the first few months since I hit Cauldron to buy that and take the work, you've got it ticket, Ben. A lot of the guys talk made- friend. We can be a sort of about going back. I did it." double threat to the status quo." I poured him another drink. "That "I'll drink to that- friend." extra ticket proved you weren't try- We did. END .u Ill' IF e Novelette -

Retiel could handle aliens.

It was his own bo~ses that THE he really was worried aboutl PRINCE AND THE

PIRATE ILLUSTRATED BY NODEL

BY KEITH LAUMER

I employ a choice selection of royal oaths when he learned that a mere etiei reined in the tall-shoul­ diplomat had beaten him to the R dered urze-beast with a jingle quarry's turn-at-bay. of the hunting-bells attached to the A windy screech sounded from long-legged mount's harness. the depths of the thicket. Retief The trail of the dirosaur led raised his saddle-horn and blew an straight ahead into a dense thicket answering blast. There was a clang­ of iron-rod trees, now bent and ing of branches, a scraping of ar­ twisted by the passing of the wound­ mored hide on metallic bark. Retief ed monster. Far away, the hunting dropped the horn to swing 'lt the horns of the main party sounded. pommel. With a pull of a lever he Retief smiled. Prince Tavilan would cocked his crossbow, waiting. A tiny head, mostly jaws, armed crossbow slung across his back wu with a foot-long spike below the his only weapon. mouth, snaked out from the grove, "We're wasting time hunt- hissing a ferocious warning. Retief's ing game," a riJer at the prince's urze-beast stirred and tossed its side said. "There's a plentiful supply head at the scent of the dirosaur. of crossbow bolts at the lodge. I Trees shuddered aside as the great propose we ride down into Elora carnivore forced its bulk between City and distribute them among the them, its golden-yellow eyes fixed good Prime Minister's Greenbacks on the man. A clawed foreleg as - point first." big as a man's body, set with rusty "The king still has hopes the CDT scales, raked the ground, dragging will revise its policy." Tavilan the predator's multi-ton bulk into glanced at Retief. "If· the triple­ the clear. With a final clangorous damned embargo were lifted, Min­ flick of its log-like tail, the dirosaur ister Prouch and his talk of a Re­ broke free, reared its head into gency would evaporate faster than striking position and charged. the royal treasury has under his Retief raised the crossbow and control." took aim- "Oh, it's not an Embargo, your The crossbow· bucked. Retief Highness," Retief said. "I believe spurred aside. He had a momentary Ambassador Hidebinder refers to it glimpse of a two-foot shaft of pol­ as a unilateral shift in emphasis bal­ ished steel protruding from the eye ance-of-trade-wise to a more group­ spcket of the monster as it blun­ oriented-" dered past, the long neck falling, to "What it adds up to is the Royal collapse in a cloud of dust, lie Eloran Navy grounded, while trai­ twitching, then still. tors plot in the palace and Dan­ gredi's pirates raid shipping at the t was five minutes before tihe edge of Elorari atmosphere!" Tavi­ I hunt galloped into view, Prince lan smacked a fist into his palm. Tavilan's black-crested urze-beast in "I've got the finest corps of naval the lead. He slowed to a canter, combat commanders in the Eastern· rode up beside the fallen dirosaur Arm, forty-five battle-ready ships of and sat looking down at the open· the line - and, thanks to CDT pol­ jawed head, the yellow eyes glazing icy, no fuel! So much for my coop­ in death. eration with vour Ambassador, Re- "That's another barrel of royal tief!" · vintage I owe you, Retief,'' he said. "Didn't he explain that, Your "If I ever see the palace cellars Highness? If you had the Big Pic­ again." He was a tall, wide, sandy­ ture, it would all make sense. Of haired man with a turned-up, sun­ course, I'm a Small Picture man burned nose. His leather forest garb myself, so I'm afraid I can't be of was well worn. There were cockle­ much help in explaining it." burrs in the snow-tiger facings of "It's not your doing, Retief. But his royal Eloran blue cape. The • million Elorans are about to '" IF have a dictatorship clamped on my father, tell him I and my In­ them because I lack a few megaton/ vincibles will continue to skulk here seconds of firepower." in the Deep Forest as he com­ "Your great grandfather's mistake mands- but we long for action." was in being a romantic. If he'd "I'll get word to you, Tavilan," named his planet Drab Conformity, Retief said. "My conspiratorial in­ set up a committee of bureaucrats stinct tells me that there'll be ac­ to run it and used the forest to sup­ tion enough for everybody before ply paper mills instead of hunting sunrise tomorrow." in them, you'd be the apple of the collective CDT eye today." II "The old man led a hard life. When he found Elora it was a wil­ n the Grand Ballroom at the derness. He made his fortune and I Palace of Elora, Retief cast an then arranged matters here to suit eye over the chattering elite of the himself - and we Elorans still like court, the gorgeously gowned and parties!" uniformed couples, the glum repre­ Retief glanced at the sun. "Speak­ sentatives of the People's Party, the ing of which, I'd better be starting gaudily dressed diplomats from Yill, back. The Grande Balle d'Elore is Fust, Flamme and half a hundred tonight and Mr. Magnan will be up­ other worlds. A cluster of ~pider­ set if I'm not there to help him lean Groaci whispered together near hover nervously for at least an hour a potted man-eating plant, •Jne leaf before the Ambassador comes of which quivered tentively, seemed down." to sniff the aliens and withdrew "Retief, you're not riding back to hastily. Retief plucked a glass from the city?" Count Arrol looked up a wide silver tray offered by a from cutting out the dirosaur's chin­ bright-eyed mess boy in a brocaded horn. He stood. "I told you what my bolero jacket and a cloth-of-gold man reported. Your sympathies are turban, who glanced quickly around too well known to suit Prouch. To­ the crowded ballroom, then ~tepped night, at the ball -" close to whisper: "I don't think the worthy Prime "Mr. Retief- the rascals are Minister will go that far. He's de­ forcing the lock on your room!" pendent on the good will of the Retief passed the glass under his CDT - and diplomat-killing is nose and sipped. bad publicity." "Exactly which rascals do you "The Palace Guard is still loyal," mean, Aric?" he murmured. "We've Tavilan said. "And remember the got about four sets to choose from." lad;· Aric. You can trust him with Aric grinned. "A couple of the any mission within his strength. He's Groaci Ambassador's boys," he whis­ working in the palace as a mess ser­ pered. "The ones he usually uses for vant." He laughed bitterly. "Think high-class back-alley work." of us as you dance with the fair la­ Retief nodded. "That would be dies of the court, Retief. If you see Yilith and Sith, formerly of the .a IF Groaci Secret Police. Things must fast check of the desk, the dresser be coming to a head. It's not like drawers, the undersides of furniture; old Lhiss to take such direct action." He slapped sofa cushions, ;•n·odded He finished the drink and put the mattresses for tell-tale cracklings, empty glass on a black marble ta­ then opened the closet door. ble. Through the wall, faint voices were "Come on, Aric. Ditch that tray audible, scratchy with the quality of and let's take a walk." narrow-range amplification. In the broad, mirror-hung corri­ He stooped and plucked- a tiny dor, Retief turned to the right. earphone from a miniature wall "But, Mr. Rctief," Aric said. bracket. Ambassador· Lhiss, it ap­ "Your apartment's in the other di­ peared, was not immune from rection." eavesdropping by his own staff ... "They won't find anything there, Relief put the phone to his ear. Aric- and it would be embarrass­ " ... agreed, then," Ambassa­ ing for all concerned if I caught dor Hidebinder's voice was saying. them red-handed. So while they're "Seventy-two hours from now, and occupied, I'll just take this oppor­ not a moment before." tunity to search their rooms." "Just see that you keep your end of the bargain," a thin Groaci voice t the top of the wide spiral lisped. "This would be a poor time A staircase that led from the for treachery." public areas of the palace to the liv­ "I want it clearly understood that mg quarters assigned to foreign dip­ our man will be treated in a reason­ lomatic missions, Retief paused. ably civilized fashion, and quietly "You wait here, Aric." He went released to us when the affair is along the corridor to the third door, completed." a simple white-painted panel edged "I suggest you avoid. over-compli­ with a tiny carved floral design. He cating the arrangements with last­ tried the large gold doorknob, then minute conditions," the Groaci took a slender instrument from an voice said. inner pocket of his silver-epauletted "You've done very well in this af­ tangerine mess jacket and delicately fair," Hidebinder came back. "Your probed the lock. The bolt snicked profits on the armaments alone-" back. He eased the door open, "As I recall, it was you who pro­ glanced around, then stepped back posed the scheme. It is you who out and beckoned Aric to him. wish to place homeless Soetti rab­ "How'd you get it open, Mr. Re­ ble on Elora, not we." tief?" Retief listened for another five "Locks are a hobby of mine. Pa­ minutes before he snapped the trol the corridor, and if you see any­ phone back in its bracket, stepped body, cough. If it's one of my Groa­ quickly to the door. In the hall, Aric ci colleagues, have a regular parox­ came to meet him. ysm. I won't be long." "Find anything, Mr. Retief?" Inside the room. Retief made a "Too much." Retief took a pen THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE .., from his pocket and jotted a note. before him was between him and "See that this gets to Prince Tavi­ his companion, then moved sudden­ lan at the lodge. Tell him to get ly. He caught the stock of the rifle the Invincibles ready, but to do in his left hand and with his right nothing until I get word to him­ yanked the barrel forward; the butt no matter what." described a short arc, smashed "Sure, Mr. Retief, but-" against the soldier's chin. He gave a "Let's go, Aric. And remember: choked yell and stumbled back. you're more help to me outside Retief jerked the door open, than inside." slipped inside, slammed it behind "I don't follow you, Mr. Retief." him. He shot the bolt, then started Aric trotted at his side. "Outside a fast check of his room. The door what?" rattled; heavy poundi!lgs sounded. "We'll know in a few minutes. Retief pulled open the desk. A loose But wherever I wind up, watch for heap of unfamiliar papers lay there. a signal." A glance at one showed the letter­ From the head of the Grand head of the Office of the Commer­ staircase Retief saw the glint of cial Attache, Terrestrial Embassy. light on steel. Two men in the dull It appeared to be a delivery order black and green of the People's Vol­ for one hundred thousand rounds ·of unteers stood in the corridor. fractionaljton ammunition made "Hey, Mr. Reticf," Aric whis­ out to a Bogan armaments export­ pered. "What are Greenbacks do­ er. Another was an unsigned letter ing in the palace?" referring to drop-points and large "Simple, Aric. They're standing sums of money. A heavy parchment guard over my door." caught Reliefs eye. It was stamped "Maybe somebody caught those in red: Groaci trying to break in." "Drop back behind me, Aric - UTTER TOP SECRET and remember what I said." Below the seal of the Eloryan etief walked up to his door, Imperial Department of War was a R took out an old-fashioned me­ detailed breakout of the disposition chanical key and inserted it in the of units of the Imperial Fleet and lock. One of the two armed soldiers the Volunteer Reserve. stepped up and made a threatening The telephone buzzed. Relief motion with his rifle butt. picked it up. There was a sound of "Nobody goes in there, you," he breathing at the other end. growled. He was a broad-faced "Yilith?" a faint voice inquired. blond, a descendant of the trans­ "No, you damned fool!" Retief ported felons who had served as snapped. "They finished up ten min­ contract labor on Elora a century utes ago. When do the Greenbacks earlier. arrive?" Retief turned casually, moved to "Why, they should be there now. one side far enough that the man The pigeon has left the ballroom-" 50 IF There was a pause. "Who is this?" · "Let me have a cr;;ck at him," a Retief slammed down the phone, Greenback said. "He fixed Horney whirled to the wide fireplace, so he won't be able to eat nothing flipped the switch that started a but mush for six months." cheery blaze licking over the pseu­ "None of that!" The big-bellied do-logs. ·He grabbed up a handfull man held up a hand. A striped vest of papers from the desk, tossed bulged under his voluminous frock them into the fire, started back for coat like a feather mattress. "We'll another- just hold him for the authorities.'' With a rending of tough plastic "Any particular reason why you panels, the door bulged, then and your friends came to · play in slammed open. Half a dozen Green­ my room?" Retief enquired mildly. backs charged into the room, short "Or were you under the impression bayonets fixed and leveled. Retief's it was . my birthday?" hand went behind him, felt over the "Look here," a man caUed from small table at his back, plucked across the room. "Under the mat­ open the drawer, fished out a tiny tress!" He held up a paper. "A let­ slug gun and dropped it into a back ter from the pirate, Dangredi, ad­ pocket. · dressed to Retief, thanking him for the latest consignment of arms and tall man with small head, supplies!" A a body like a bag of water, "If you'll wait just a minute," Re­ and tiny feet bellied his way through tief said, "I'll get my scrapbook. It's the armed men. He wore a drab full of all kinds of incriminating evi­ cutaway of grayish-green adorned dence I've been saving for just this with the star of the Order of Farm occasion." Production. Behind him, the small, "Ah, then you confess! Where is spindle-armed figure of the Groaci it?" the Groaci whispered hoarsely, Military Attache was visible, decked pushing to the fore. out in formal jewel-studded eye­ "Oh, I forgot. When I heard you shields and a pink and green hip­ coming, I ate it." cloak. "Don't touch anything!" the wa­ here was a stir at the rear of ter-bag man called in a high, ex­ T the group. The ranks parted cited voice. "I want everything un­ and a short, round Terrestrial with disturbed!" a stiff white mustache and a mouth "What about the fire, Mr. Minis­ like a change-purse pushed through. ter?" the Groaci lisped. "The mis­ He yanked at the overlapping lapels creant seems to have been burning of a grape-juice colored mess-jacket something." caked with decorations. "Yes, yes. Rake those papers out "Here, what's this Mr. Retief! of there!" The large man wobbled Contraband? Pflfet:ed documents? his chins agitatedly. He fixed Re­ Evidence of traffic with piratical tief with eyes like peeled eggs. "I'm elements?" warning you. don't move." "No, Mr. Ambassador," Retief THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE 51 said. "I'm only charging them with well-known, Mr. Retief," he said breaking and entering. assault with acidly. "I'm sure this fits the pattern a deadly weapon, abuse of diplo­ nicely." matic privilege and loitering. If "Not as nicely as you imagine," you'll-" Retief said. "Maybe you'd better "Here, don't let him confuse the think it over- without any help issue, Ambassador Hidebinder!" The from Ambassador Lhiss." egg- like eyes rolled toward the Hidebinder purpled and sput­ stout diplomat. "He stands self-con­ tered. "The man's run amok! You victed." have my permission to place him "Don't say too much, Mr. Minis­ under protective restraint!" He ter," Retief cut in. "After all, you stamped from the room. haven't had time yet to read those General Hish stepped forward. scraps the boys are fishing out of "Soldiers you heard the order of the the fire; so it wouldn't do for you Minister," he hissed. "Take the crim­ to know what they are." inal away!" "Enough of this pointless chat­ ter!" Prime Minister Prouch piped. III "Obviously, there's treason afoot here!" He jabbed a finger at the Ter­ he celt was ten feet ~quare, restrial Ambassador. "In view of the T with a twelve by eighteen inch seriousness of the offense - in a opening just under the ten-foot high time of grave crisis in inter-world ceiling. affairs -I demand that you sus­ The furnishings included a plastic pend this criminal's diplomatic im­ cot with one blanket, the minimum munity!" in plumbing facilities, one small, un­ The Groaci spoke up: "As a neu­ shielded neon lamp, numerous large tral party, I propose that he be roaches and a bristly rat over a foot turned over to my mission for re­ long, which sat by the floor drain straint until the time of trial." from which it had emerged, regard­ "Well ..." Ambassador Hidebind­ ing Retief with beady eyes. rr blinked. "I'm not at all sure ..." Retiers hand went slowly to the "We'll tolerate no stalling tactics!" small, hard pillow on the cot beside The Minister squeaked. "The secur­ him. He picked it up, pegged it sud­ ity of Elora is at stake!" He mo­ denly. tioned. The troops closed iri around With a squeal of rage, the rat dove Retief. for the rusted-out drain cover, "I propose to take this man into scrabbled for a moment in a fran­ custody at once." He bulged his eyes tie attempt to squirm past the cush­ at Hidebinder. "I trust there will be ion, now wedged in the drain; then no protest!" it darted for the darkest corner of Hidebinder looked around at the the cell. room, the scattered papers, the Retief picked up the blanket and smouldering fire, then at Retief. a length of yarn worked from it "Your penchant for mischief is earlier, moved toward the rat. It IF a Retief _looped the end of the string it leaped over his fmger, pulled in the slack. straight at Retief's face- and met In the gloomy light of the neon the enveloping blanket in midair. lamp, the thread was invisible Cautiously, Retief folded back against the dark floor. He sat on the ·blanket to expose the chinless, the bunk and waited. snouted face, armed with back­ slanting yellow fa0gs half an inch long, He looped the string over the An hour passed. The barred vicious head, and knotted it. rectangle of moonlight slant­ He went to the drain, kicked the ing through the window crept across obstruction from it, then released the floor. Regularly, at nine-minute the tethered rat. It dived down the intervals, feet sounded in the pas­ dark opening and was gone. sage outside the metal slab door. The carefully coiled string paid Suddenly the string in Retief's hand out rapidly, loop after loop. It twitched, "nee, twice, three times. slowed, then fed down the drain He gave three answering tugs. For more slowly as the rat traveled a moment there was no response; through the piping. The guard's then there was a single firm tug. footsteps approached. Aric was on the job ... Retief jumped for the cot; he was Retief pulled at the string. It stretched out at ease when the sen­ dragged heavily. He hauled it in try looked in. When he had passed, slowly, hand over hand. THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE 53 Twice it caught on some obstruc­ the window-opening on the inside. tion far away in the drain line; he Keeping pressure on the rope, he t'ugged gently until it came free. He eased out, then slid quickly down. •;hrust the accumulating pile of thread under the mattress. Each we.nty feet below. Retief time the guard looked in, he was T dropped onto a narrow bal­ sitting quietly, staring at the wall. cony before a rank of darkened Suddenly, the end of a half-inch glass doors. rope apreared, securely tied to the With a flick, he freed the upper end of the string. Retief let it slip end of the rope. The bar clattered· back a few inches, waited until the against the stone wall as it fell. He sentry passed, then quickly began pulled the rope in, dropped it in a hauling in the rope. heap, then tried door handles until Five minutes later, a hundred he found one that turned. He feet of polyon cable were tucked stepped in through heavy drapes, out of sight unJer the mattress. felt his way across to the door, Retief slipped the bundle of hack­ opened it and looked out into a saw blades which had been tied to wide corridor. the end of the rope into the pocket At the far end, two ornately uni­ of the gold-braided white trousers formed Palace Guards stood stiffly which he had been allowed to re­ at attention. There was no one else tain along with his short boots. He in sight. Retief slipped the slug gun stood under the window, gauged the into the palm of his hand, stepped distance. then jumped. He pulled out, walked boldly toward the himself up. ,!'O! a firm grip on the guards. They stood unmoving. As bars, then too\ out a saw and start­ he passed, one spoke quietly from ed in. the corner of his mouth: An hour later, both bars were "Greenbacks patrolling one flight cut through. ready to be removed up." by a single firm twist. "They're on the lookout for any Retief waited for the guard to suspicious activity," the other sentry pass. then dropped the blades down added. the drain. looped the cable over his "If I see any, I'll Jet you know," shoulder and leaped up to the win­ Retief said softly. "If you hear any dow again. Far below, he could see loud noises, pay no attention. Gen­ the moonlight sparkling on a foun­ eral Hish will be entertaining a tain in the palace garden; the sha­ guest." dows of trees and hedges were dark Retief followed the corridor, took against the grass. On the graveled a turn to the left, then a right, found walks, armed sentries paced. the passage housing the Groaci Em­ Retief wrenched the bars free, bassy, now brightly lit. The apart­ tied the rope to one, tossed the coil ment of the military attache was 001 of rope through the window, then the left, four doors along. pulled himself up, carefully fitting A black-booted Greenback offi­ the short bar across the comer of cer stepped into view from the far 1-4 IF end of the passage, paused at sight turned to the living room. He of Retief striding unconcernedly to­ stripped the Greenback and donned ward him. The Greenback nar­ the drab uniform. rowed his eyes uncertainly, then The phone buzzed. Retief lifted snapped back the flap covering his the receiver. sidearm, tugged at the heavy power "Two minute alert," a low voice pistol. Retief brought the slug gun said. "He's alone." up, fired at pointblank range. Retief went to the door, open~d At the muffted whoomp! the offi­ it half an inch, stood in the shadows cer slammed back, hit the floor and beside it. He heard the :;oft ap­ lay sprawled. His gun bounced proach of mincing Groaci footsteps, against the wall. Rcjcf scooped it then a soft exclamation - up, turned to the door of the Groaci He swung the door open, reached General's quarters, needle-beamed out, caught the Groaci by the throat the lock at low power. The hard­ and dragged him inside. He grunted ware dissolved in a wash of blue as a booted foot caught him in the flame, an acrid stink of burned plas­ ribs; then he jammed the pistol hard tic and metal. He kicked the door against the Groaci's horny thorax. wide, turned and caught the fallen "No loud noises, please, General. Greenback by the ankles and I have a splitting headache." dragged him inside. Retief pushed the door shut with A swift examination of the room a foot and leaned against the light revealed that it was deserted. Re­ button. A soft glow sprang up. Re­ lief picked up the phone and dialed. tief released the Groaci, holding the "Post number twenty-nine," a gun aimed at a three-inch broad crisp' voice answered promptly. Grand Cordon of the Legion d'Cos­ "This is the General's guest," Re­ me crossing the bulging abdomen. tief said. "The light in the hall might "I'm going out; you're coming hurt the General's eyes. Think you with me. Better hope we make it." could douse it?" He holstered the pistol, showed "We've had some trouble with the small, smooth-stone-shaped slug fuses in that wing lately. I've got a gun. "This will be a foot from your feeling one might go out any min­ back, so be a good little soldier and ute now- and· it will take maybe give all the right answers." an hour to fix." The phone clicked The Groacie's throat sacs dilated, off. vibrating. He cast a sidelong glance Retief flipped off the lights in the at the stripped body of the Green­ room, went into the small, lavishly back. equipped kitchen, rummaged "The swift inevitability of your through the supplies of Groaci deli­ death," he hissed in Groaci. "To an­ cacies, found a one-pound jar of ticipate with joy your end in fright­ caviar and a package of grain wa­ ful torment ..." fers. He ate hurriedly, keeping an "To button your mandible and eye on the door, drank a small bot­ march," Retief interrupted. He tle of Green Yill wine, then re- pulled the door open. "After you." l'HE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE 55 he blaze of stars scattered thumbed it to narrow beam and T from horizon to horizon above blasted the light. It exploded in a the palace roof. Their light gleamed shower of tinkling glass, a billow of on the polished fittings of a low­ orange smoke that faded, winked slung heli parked on the royal pad, out. as Retief and his prisoner emerged Retief shoved the slender Groaci from the service stair into the cold ahead of him, yanked wide the heli's night air. There was a scrunch of entry hatch, tumbled his prisoner in boots on gravel, the snick! of a pow­ and jumped after him. He rammed ergun's action. Abruptly a search­ the control lever to EMERGENCY light's beam glared. FULL CLIMB. With a whine of "Hey- aren't you-" power, the finely engineered craft "Do not interfere, soft-faced leaped from the roof, surged up­ idiot!" the Groaci hissed. The light ward in a buffet of suddenly stirred flashed across to him; his five air. From below, blue and yellow beady, stemmed eyes glinted angrily flashes winked briefly against the at the guard. discs of the screaming rotors; then "General Hish, sir." The guard they dwindled away and were gone. snapped off the light, presented arms hurriedly. Other boots sound· IV ed. coming across the roof-top. "What's going on here? Tell H alf an hour later, Retief these -" the voice broke off. In the dropped the heli in low over gloom, barely relieved by starlight, the black tree-tops of the Deep Retief saw the newcomer start, then Forest. put a hand to his pistol butt. A gleam of light reflected across "We require the use of the royal rippling water. He edged the ma­ gig," Hish whispered. "Stand aside!" chine forward and swung out over "But the orders-" the first guard the lake, dropping down to tree-top started. level. Below, the water churned in "General, drop!" the second the down-draft from the rotors as bawled, hauling his gun out. Retief the heli settled gently into two feet shot him, took a short step and of water. Retief cut the engine and drove a hard punch to the jaw of popped the hatch. Cold mountain air the first Greenback, still standing, swirled in. Somewhere, water liz­ gaping, then caught the Groaci's ards shrilled. arm, jump~d for the heli. Yells "What place of infamy is this? sounded across the roof. A yard­ the captive General hissed. He wide. light-cannon, gymbal-mounted stared out into the darkness. "Do atop the guard shack, winked on, you bring me here to slay me un­ throwing a gray-blue tunnel of light seen, vile disrespecter of diplomatic into the sky; it pivoted, depressed, privilege?" swept a burning disc across to Re­ "The idea has merit." Retief said, tief- "but I have other plans for you, He drew the power pistol, General." He climbed down, roo- 56 IF tioning the Groa.::i out. Hish grum­ pretext. Four more managed to re­ bled, scrambling down into the icy port in that they're pinned down by water of the lake, slogging to shore. 'protective escorts'. From the darkness a night-fowl Retief shook his head. That wu called. Retief whistled a reply. the idea of arresting me, Your There was the sound of a footstep Highness - as a personal affront to in the brush, the click! of a cross­ you, since my sympathies are weD bow's cocking mechanism. known. Prouch wanted to bring you "It's Retief," he called. "I have a out into the open. An armed attack guest: General Hish, of the Groaci was just what he needed - and lie Embassy." was ready for you. He has. at least "Ah, welcome, Retief," a soft two hundred Greenbacks in the Pal­ voice drawled. "We're honored, ace, armed to the nines. Your raid General. Good of you to call. His would have been the signal of his Highness was hoping you'd be take-over - to preserve the domes­ along soon ..." tic tranquility, of course­ and your death in the fighting nside the high-beamed lodge, would have left him a clear field." I Prince Tavilan came across the "What about the Palace Guard? room. Behind him, Aric grinned. They haven't gone over?" "I caught the rat all right, Mr. "Of course not." Retief accepted Retief." a cigar, took a seat by the fire. "Retief!" Tavilan clapped him on "They're standing fast, playing it by the shoulder. "Aric reached me with ear. The Grand Ball tonight gave your message an hour ago. I heard them an excuse for full dress, in­ the news of your arrest on Tri-D. cluding weapons, of course. The They broke into a concert to an­ Greenbacks aren't quite ready to nounce that a plot involving the start anything with them -yet." CDT and reactionary Royalist ele­ ments had been uncovered." avilan stamped across the fire­ "Hidebinder will be very unhap­ T beast-hide rug. "Blast it, Retief py with that version of events," Re­ we can't sit here and watch Prouch tief said. "The agreement was that and his mob move in unopposed! If it was all to be blamed on a rotten we hit them now- before they've apple in the Corps barrel. Namely had time to consolidate -" me." "-you'll get every Royalist sup­ "We were saddling up to storm porter in Elora City killed," Retief the Palace and free you, when your finished for him. Now, let's consi­ message reached me -" der the situation. Item: the Royal "How many reliable men do you fleet is grounded, courtesy of CDT have available on short notice, Your policy. Item two: Prouch's people's Highness?" Retief cut in. Volunteer Naval Reserve Detach­ "I _have thirty-eight of the Invin­ ment of late-model Bogan destroy­ cibles with me here. At least three ers is sitting in its launch-cradles at others are under arrest on various Gray Valley, fifteen miles away." THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE 51 "They're no threat to us; they "So I suggest we take a ride over can't operate without fuel either." there a.nd look at the Volunteer "They won't have to," Retief said, Navy." puffing out smoke. "Corps policy is ''You've just told me Prouch's nothing if not elastic. It seems that renegades are armed to the teeth!" the Big Picture called for the sup­ Retief nodded. "Since we need plying of the Volunteer Reserve guns, Your Highness, I can't think with full magazines-" of a closer place to get 'em·." "What!" "-and the topping off of an t the head of the troop of tanks." A thirty-eight riders, including Tavilan's ruddy face paled. "I General Hish, lashed to a mount, see," he said quietly, nodding. "The Retief and Tavilan reined in at the CDT talked disarmament to me crest of the slope that faced the bar­ while it was arming Prouch's revol­ racks of the Peoples' Volunteer Na­ utionaries. It never intended to see val Reserve, a blaze of light all the monarchy survive." across the narrow valley. On the "Well, your Highness, the CDT is ramp a quarter of a mile beyond a very clean-minded organization, the administrative and shop areas, and it heard somewhere that 'mon­ ten slim destroyers loomed, bathed archy' was a dirty word." in the glare of poly-arcs. Prince "All right!" Prince Tavilan turned Tavilan whistled. to Count Arrol. "We have mounts "Prouch and the CDT seem to for every man- and plenty of have struck it off even better than crossbow bolts. There'll be Gt'een­ I thought. That's all brand-new back blood on the palace floors be­ equipment." fore the night is out." "Just defensive, of course," R.e­ "If I might make a sugges­ tief said. "I believe Minister Prouch tion ...?" has given assurances that the elim­ "You're not 'tbvolved in this, Re­ ination of Dangredi's freebooters tief. Take the CIJIII'er and get clear." will be carried out with dispatch - "Clear to where? I've been dis­ just as soon as the CDT recognizes owned by my colleagues and his regime." slapped in jail by the Prime Minis­ Tavilan laughed shortly. "I could ter. To get back to the subject: I have swept Dangredi off the space see no point in our riding into Elora Janes six months ago -if the CDT City and being shot down at long hadn't blockaded me." range by Greenbacks." "Such are the vagaries of Galac­ "We'll ride in at the Marivale tic policy." Gate; move up through-" "I know, the Big Picture again." "If you'll pardon my saying so," Tavilan turned to Arrol. "We'll split ltetief said, "I've got a better idea. into two parties, work around both It's only fifteen miles to the Gray ends of the valley, and pick our tar­ Valley." get at close range. Retief, you ride ·"So?" with me. Let's move out." 58 IF It was a of the next ships in line, sentrii".S, the forested slopes walling the val­ stand-by riot squads, and those two ley to the rendevous point Prince pillboxes commanding the ends of Tavilan had designated, a sheltered ne: valley." ravine less than a hundred yards "Still - I must give those men from the nearest of the parked war their chance to declare themselves." vessels. The access ladder was "As the Prince wishes. But I'll down, and light spilled from the keep my blaster loose in its holster open entry port. A Reservist in -just in case." baggy gray and green lounged in the opening. Two more stood be­ he Prince rode in the lead low, power · rifles slung across their T with his guidon at his left, fol­ backs. "You could pick those three off lowed by thirty-five men, formed from here," Retief remarked. up in a precise triangle of seven "Crossbows are a nice quiet weap­ ranks, with two formal honor on." guards out on the flanks. The rear­ Tavilan shook his head. "We'll guard followed, holding the reins of ride down in formal battle order. the mount to which General Hish, No war's been declared. They won't , still hissing bitter complaints, was fire on the Prince Royal." ' lashed. "There may be forty more in­ The Invincibles moved down the aide - to say nothing of the crews Slope and out onto the broad tar- 'ft+E PRINCE AND THf PIRATE 59 mac, hooves clattering a~a .1>1 the The Greenback nearest Tavilan paved surface. The two men on the made a sudden move to swing his ramp turned and stood gaping. The gun on the Prince- then stumbled one above at the ship's en~ry port back, a steel quarrel from Arrol's whirled, disappeared inside. crossbow standing in his chest. The The troop rode on; they were second Greenback dropped his halfway to the ship now. One of the weapon, stood with raised hands, his waiting Greenbacks unlimbered his mouth open and eyes wide; then he power gun, cranked the action; the turned and ran. other followed suit. Both stepped Tavilan leaped down from his forward half a dozen paces, brought steed, dashed for the access ladder, their weapons up uncertainly. his crossbow ready. "Halt! Who the hell's there?" one "Everybody in," Arrol called. The bawled. men sprang up in good order; those Tavilan flipped the corner of his waiting on the ramp faced outward, hunting cape forward over his covering all points. From the adja­ shoulder to show the royal Eloran cent vessel, a sharp report echoed. device and came on in silence. A man fell from the ladder; others The taller of the two Greenbacks caught him, lifted him up. Far raised his rifle,. hesitated, half-low­ away, a harsh voice bellowed orders. ered it. Riding half a pace behind "They can't use any heavy stuff," Tavilan, Retief eased his pistol from Arrol said. "They wouldn't want to its holster, watching the doorway nick the paint on their new battle­ above. On his right, Count Arrol wagon." held his crossbow across his knee, a A squad of men appeared, run­ bolt cocked in the carriage, his fin­ ning from the shadows at the base ger on the trigger. of the ship from which the firing Ten feet from the two Greenback had come. Most of the troop were sentries, Prince Tavilan reined in. up the ladder now; two men hus­ "Aren't you men accustomed to tled the struggling Groaci up. Be­ render a proper salute when your side Retief, Arrol launched three commander makes a surprise in­ bolts in rapid-fire order. Two of the spection?" he asked mildly. oncoming men fell. The blue flashes The Greenbacks looked at each of power guns winked; here and other, fingering their guns. there, the surface of the tarmac "It looks as though the word has boiled as wild shots struck. gone out," Arrol whispered to Re- "Come on!" The two men ran for tief. · · the ladder; Arrol sprang for it, At that moment a figure eased swarmed up. Retief followed. Mol­ into view at the port; light glinted ten metal spattered as a power-gun from the front sight of a power gun bolt vaporized the handrail. Then as it came up, steadied - hands were hauling him safely in­ Retief sighted and fired. In the side the ship. instantaneous blue glare, the man at "Hit the deck," Arrol yelled. the port whirled and fell outward. "We're lifting!" 60 IF v In the red-lit gloom of its cav­ ernous Command Control deck, Re­ "We took one burst from an tief and Prince Tavilan relaxed in infinite repeater," an of­ deep couches designed for the mas­ ficer reported, "but no serious dam­ sive frames of the Hondu corsairs. age was done. They held their fire Opposite them; Dangredi, the Hon­ just a little too long." du chieftain, lounged at ease, his "We were lucky," Prince Tavilan shaggy, leather-strapped, . jewel­ said. "One man killed, one wound­ spangled 350-pound bulk almost ed. It's fortunate we didn't select the overflowing his thronelike chair. At next ship in line. We'd have had a Retief's side, General · Hish perched hornet's nest on our bands." nervously. Half a dozen of Tavilan's "Too bad we broke up the batta­ Invincibles stood around the room, lion crap game," Retief commented. chatting with an equal number of "But by now they'll be lifting off Dangredi's hulking officers, whose after us- a few of them, anyway." greenish fur looked black in the "All right. We'll give them a light from the crimson lamps. warm welcome before they nail us." "What I failing to grasp," Dan­ "If I may venture to suggest-" gredi rumbled, "is reason for why Tavilan waved a hand, grinning. suddenly now changing of plan pre­ "Every time you get so damned po­ viously okayed." lite, you've got some diabolical "I hardly think that matters," Tav­ scheme up your sleeve. What is it ilan said smoothly. "I've offered to this time, Retief?" add one hundred thousand Galactic "We won't wait around to be Credits to the sum already agreed nailed. We'll drive for Deep Space on." at flank speed-" "But whole idea was compensate "And run into Dangredi's block­ me, Grand Hereditary War Chief of ade? I'd· rather use my firepower Hondu people, for not fight. Now on Prouch's scavengers." is offering more pay for stand and "That's where our friend the Gen­ give battle." eral comes in." Retief nodded to­ "I thought you Hondu loved war," ward the truSsed Groaci. "He and an Eloran officer said. Dangredi . are old business asso­ Dangredi nodded his heavy green­ ciates. We'll put him on the screen furred head, featureless but for two and see if he can't negotiate a brief wide green-pupilled eyes. "Crazy truce. With the approval of your mad for warring, and also plenty Highness. I think we can make an fond of cash. But is smelling rodent offer that will interest him." somewhere in woodpile." "It's very simple, Commodore," he flagships of the pirate fleet Retief said. "General Hish here had T was a four - hundred - year - arranged with you to flee when the old, five hundred thousand ton People's Volunteer forces attacked. dreadnought, a relic of pre-Concor­ Now changing conditions on Elora dia! times. make it necessary that you fight. THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE 61 And in place of the loot you w'-'u;J cocked a large emerald eye at Hisb otherwise so rightly expect, you·u - ''you maybe raising ante?" collect a handsome honorarium." "I ... I will match the offer of the Suddenly the Groaci leaped to his saboteurs of interplanetary amityl feet, pointed at Retief. "Commo­ One hundred thousand in Groac:i dore Dangredi," he hissed. "This gold!" renegade diplomat beside me holds Dangredi considered briefly. "No a gun pointed at my vitals. Only good. What about fighting? You thus did he coerce me to request give Hondu gunners targets in this parley. Had I guessed his inten­ sights? Or maybe chance for rough­ tion, I would have dared him to and-tumble hand-to-hand, cold steel do his worst. Seize the traitor, Ex­ against enemy blades?" cellency!" General Hish shuddered. "In the Dangredi stared at the Groaci. name of civilization, I appeal-" "He - and these strutting popin­ "Shove civilization in ventral ori­ jays -plot against the security of face! Hondu taking good, crooked, the People's State of Elora!" Hish bloodthirsty barbarians every time. whispered urgently. "The plan re­ Now disappearing quietly, Groaci, mains unchanged! You are to flee while I and new buddies planning engagement with the forces of Min­ strategy. Maybe later I sending for ister Prouch!" you and bending arms and legs un­ The great green head bobbed til you tell all about enemy battle suddenly; hooting laughter sounded. plan." A vast hand slapped a thigh like a "The Groaci is our hostage," Tav­ shaggy beer keg. ilan said as the general was led "Aha! At last is getting grasp of away. "He's not to be bent without situation," Dangredi bellowed. my prior approval." "Now is little honest treachery, kind "Sure; just having little joke." of dealing Hondu understanding!" Dangredi leaned back, accepted a He waved a hand at a servitor stand­ vast drumstick and a tank of wine, ing by. "Bringing wassail bowl, plen­ waited while his guests were sup­ ty meat!" He brought his hands to­ plied with delicacies. gether with a dull boom, rubbed "Now, Retief, you say attack them briskly. "Doublecross, plenty coming when ...?" fighting, more gold at end of trail! Is kind of operation I, Dangredi, "I must confess," Counsellor Hereditary War Chief, dreaming of Magnan said, "I don't quite in long nights of tooth-shedding understand how it llappened that af. time!". ter trouncing the Eloran Volunteers, "But these - these criminal kid­ the pirate Dangredi voluntarily gave nappers have no authority to himself up and offered the services deal-" of his entire fleet as a reserve force "Groaci-napping is harmless pas­ to replace the very units he des­ time. Like stea)ing wine-melons troyed." when cub. Unless, maybe-" he "Never mind that, Magnan," Am- 62 IF bassador Hidebinder said. ··As sea­ closed; his jowls paled, qutvennc::. soned campaigners must, we shall "Mr. Ambassador- what is 1t?" · accept the fait accompli. Our reset­ Magnan gasped. tlement plans are set back a year, Hidebinder rose and tottered at least. It's doubly unfortunate that from the room. Magnan snatched Prime Minister Prouch suffered a up the paper, read it through, then fall just at this time. Magnan, you'll stared at Retief. attend the funeral." "He's been declared persona non "With pleasure, Mr. Ambassa­ grata! The Imperial government dor," Magnan said. "That is, I'll be gives him twelve hours · to ·leave honored." Elora!" "Retief ..." Hidebinder glared Retief glanced at the. wall clock. across the table. "I'm not going to "If he hurries, he can catch the mail press civil charges, since the Eloran boat." government, at the behest of Prince "And you, Retief ..." Tavilan, has dropped the case. However, I may as well tell you at etief raised his eyebrows. once- your future with the Corps R Magnan glanced around the ta­ is non-existent. A trifling embezzle­ ble. "If you gentlemen will excuse us ment of official funds, I could wink for a few moments?" at. Embellished reports, slack per­ Half a dozen frowning diplomats formance of duty, cowardice in the filed from the room. Magnan face of the enemy- these I could cleared his throat. "This is most ir­ shrug off as youthful peccadillos. regular, Retief! The Imperial gov­ But foot-dragging in the carrying ernment requests that you present out of my policy-" his fist thumped credentials as Minister Plenipoten­ the desk. "Intolerable!" You openly tiary and Ambassador Extraordin­ allied yourself with-" ary at once! They will accept no A messenger entered the con­ other appointee." ference room, handed a note to Relief asked. "I told Prince Tavi­ Magnan, who passed it to Hidebin­ lan I wouldn't have time for a cere­ der. He opened it impatiently, monial job. I have a suggestion. Mr. glanced at it. His jaw dropped. He Magnan. Suppose I nominate you read it through again. His mouth for the post?"

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THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE 63 "Over the heads of a hundred "And, of course, a new treaty senior officers?" Magnan · gasped. plainly guaranteeing the territorial "Retief, dear boy . . ." integrity of Elora will have to be "That is, if your distaste for mon­ worked up at once." archies isn't overwhelming?" "Oh.. . " "Eh? Oh, well, as to that," Mag­ Retief rose. "All of which I'm nan sat erect, tugged his lapels into sure you'll handle brilliantly, Mr. place "I've always had a sneaking Ambassador. And by the way- I admiration for absolute royalty." think I could best serve the mission "Fine. Dangredi will be along in in some other capacity than as Ad­ a few minutes to arrange for sup­ min Officer." plies. It seems there are a few ship­ Magnan pulled at his collar, wait­ loads of CDT - sponsored undesir­ ing . . . ables already landing on the north­ "I think I'd better work closely ern continent who'll have to be with Prince Tavilan, the heir appar­ warned off. It's probably just a slip. ent," Retief said blandly. "He does I'm sure our former ambassador a lot of hunting, so perhaps you'd wouldn't have jumped the gun in better designate me as Field and viol ation of solemn treaties." Stream Attache." He picked up his "Ah," Magnan said. crossbow which was in the corner "And, of course, the Royal Navy of the room. will require provisioning - just to "I leave the details to you, Mr. be sure the new Reservists don't get Ambassador. I'm going to do some any large ideas." hunting." "Uh .. . " END IF e Short Storv THE LIFE HATER BY FRED SABERHAGEN

The berserker machine was built to destroy life. Carr's mission was to teach it to be a friend/

arr swallowed a pain pill, and berserker macbinea bad been a rC4 C tried to find a less uncomfort­ mote horror in the news stories. able position in the combat chair. The colony's only real fighting ship He keyed his radio transmitter and had been sent to join Karlsen's fleet spoke to the rogue ship that hung in the defense of Earth, when the before him in space. berserkers were said to be massing "I come in peace. I have no weap­ there. But now the enemy was here, ons. I come to talk to you." and the people of Carr's planet were He waited. The cabin of his little readying two more ships ia fe.verish one-man ship was silent. His radar haste- they were a small colony, screen showed the berserker machine and not wealthy in resources. Ev~n still many light-seconds ahead of when the two ships were ready, they him. There was no reaction from it, would hardly be a match for a ber­ but he knew that it had heard him. serker. Behind Carr was the Sol-type star When Carr had taken his plan to he called sun, and his home planet, the leaders of the colony, they had colonized from Earth a century be­ thought him mad. fore. It was a lonely settlement. out Go out and talk to it of peace near the rim of the galaxy. Until and love? Argue with it? There might now the war waged on life by the be some hope of converting the most 65 depraved human to the cause of space-travelers' tongue, from human goodness and mercy, but what ap­ prisoners or from each other. And peal could alter the built-in purpose he was serious about talking love to of a machine? the unknown Builders. Grudges and "Why not talk: to it of peace?" vengeance seemed tiny things to a Carr had demanded. "Have you a dying man. But the Builders would . better plan? I'm willing to go, I've not be aboard; the berserkers had nothing to lose." been constructed, probably, when They had looked at him, across Earthmen hunted the mammoth with the gulf that separates healthy plan­ spears. The Builders were lost in ners from those who know they are spacetime, along with their enemies dying. They thought almost any of long ago. scheme would be better than his. Suddenly it answered him: "Little But they could imagine nothing else ship, maintain your present speed to do until the warships were ready, and course toward me. Be ready to ·which would be at least ten days. stop when ordered. " The little one-man ship was expend­ "I-I will." In spite of being able, being unarmed. Armed, it ready for it, Carr found himself would be no more a provocation to stuttering and shaken at the sound a berserker. In the end, they let of its voice, the uneven mechanical Carr take it, hoping there was a reproduction of the words of human chance his arguments might delay prisoners, recorded aboard or bor­ the inevitable attack. rowed from another machine. Now For Carr himself, of course, they the weapons which could sterilize a wasted no thought. For Carr was planet would be trained on him dying. Was as good as dead. alone. And there was worse than de­ struction to be feared, if one tenth hen Cur came within a mil­ of the stories about berserkers' pris­ W lion miles of the berserker, oners were true. Carr did not let it stopped its own unhurried motion himself think about that - although and seemed to wait for him, hang­ the pain that racked ·him in momen­ ing in space in the orbital track of tary flood, of agony made death an airless planetoid, at a poiat from seem almost welcome. which the planetoid was still sev­ When he was within ten thousand eral days away. miles it ordered: "Stop. Wait where "I am unarmed," he radioed you are, relative to me." again. "I come to talk with you, not Carr obeyed instantly. Soon he to damage you. H those who built saw that it had launched toward you· were here, I would try to talk him something about the size of his to them of peace and love. Do you own ship - a little moving dot on understand?" his video screen, coming out of the He felt sure it would understand vast black fortress that floated his language. All the berserker ma­ against the stars. chines had learned the universal Even at this range he could see a6 U' how scarred and battered that fort­ across the cabin, so that he stag~­ ress was. He had heard that all of gered and fell in the artificial grav­ these ancient machines were dam­ ity, thumping his head painfully aged, from their long senseless fight­ against a bulkhead. "In a matter of ing across the galaxy; but surely minutes we will talk about love and such apparent ruin as this must be peace," said the radio voice. exceptional. The berserker's launch slowed and ooking out a port as his ship drew up beside his ship. Soon there L neared the immense berserker, came a clanging at the airlock. Carr saw the scars of battle become "Open!" demanded the radio plainer and plainer, ·even to his un­ voice. "I must search you." practiced eye. There were holes in "Then you will listen to me?" the hull, square miles of bendings "Then I will listen." and swellings and pits where the He opened the lock, and stood metal bad once flowed molten. aside for the half dozen machines Rubbing his bumped head, Carr that entered. They were not unlike felt a faint thrill of pride. We've robot valets and workers, except done that to it, he thought, we soft that these were old and limping and little living things. His own martial worn, like their great master. Here feeling annoyed him, in a way. He and there a new part gleamed. But had always been something of a often the machines' movements were pacifist. Of course it could hardly unsteady as they searched Carr, be thought immoral to use violence searched his cabin, probed every­ against a dangerous but inanimate where on the little ship. One of them machine. After some delay, a hatch had to be half-carried out by its opened in the berserker's side, and fellows, when the search was com­ Carr's ship followed the berserker's pleted. . launch into darkness. Another one of the machines, a Now there was nothing to be seen thing with arms and hands like a through the port. Soon there came a man's, stayed behind. As soon as gentle bump, as of docking. The the lock had closed behind the oth­ mechanical pilot shut off the drive, ers, it settled itself in the combat turned toward Carr and started to chair and began to drive the ship rise from the chair. toward the berserker. Something in it failed. Instead of "Wait!" Carr protested. "I didn't rising smoothly, the pilot reared up, surrender!" The ridiculous words flailed for a moment with arms hung in the air, seeming to deserve that sought a grip or balance, and no reply. Sudden panic made Carr then fell heavily to the deck. For move without thinking; he stepped half a minute it moved one arm, forward and grabbed at the mech­ and made a grinding noise. Then anical pilot, trying to pull it from it was still. the chair. It put one metal hand In the half minute of silence against his chest and shoved him which followed, Carr realized that THE LIFE HATER 67 he was again master ,1, illS cabin: And your hull is in bad shape now. chance had given him that. lf there You don't want any more damage." was something he could do - "You would die." "Leave your ship," said the calm "I'll have to die sometime. But I voice. "There is an airfilled tube fit­ didn't come out here to die, or to ted to your airlock. It will lead you fight. I came to talk with you, to to a place where we can talk of try to reach some agreement." peace and love." "What kind of agreement?" Carr's eyes, with a sort of reluct­ At last Carr took a deep breath, ant horror, had dragged themselves and marshaled the arguments he to focus on the engine switch, and had so often rehearsed. He kept his beyond that, to the C-plus activator. fingers resting gently on the C-plus The C-plus jump was not usable activator, and his eyes alert on the as a drive anywhere near the huge instruments that normally monitored mass of a sun. In such proximity as the hull for micrometeorite damagl'. this to a mass even the size of the "I've had the feeling," he began, surrounding berserker, the effect "that your attacks upon humanity became only a weapon - a weapon may be only some ghastly mistake. of tremendous potential power. Certainly we were not your original Carr did not- or thought he did enemy." not- any longer fear sudden death; "Life is my enemy. Life is evil." he was too near to the slow, sure Pause. "Do you want to become kind. But now he found that with all good life?" his heart and soul he feared what might be prepared for him outside arr closed his eyes for a mo­ the 3.irlock. All the horror stories C ment; some of the horror stor­ came back. The thought of going . ies were coming to life. But then out through that airlock now was he went firmly on with his argu­ unendurable. It was less terrifying for ment. "From our point of view, it him to step carefully around the is you who are bad. We would like fallen pilot, to reach the controls and you to become a good machine, turn the engine back on. one that helps men instead of kill­ "I can talk to you from here," he ing. Is not building a higher purpose said, his voice quavering in spite than destroying?" of an effort to keep it steady. There was a longer pause. "What After about ten seconds, the ber­ evidence can you offer that I should serker said: '·'Your C-plus drive has change my purpose?" safety devices. You will not be able "For one thing, :belping us will to kamikaze me." be a purpose easier of achievement. "You may be right," said Carr af­ No one will damage you and op­ ter a moment's thought. "But if a pose you." safety device does function, it might "What is it to me, if I am dam­ hurl my ship away from your center aged and opposed?" of mass, right through your hull. Carr tried again. "Life is basical- 68 IF )J superior to non-life; and mas is "I have never tried to use that the highest form of life." hypothesis," it answered suddenly. "What evidence do you offer?" "But if the construction of intelli­ "Man has a spirit." gent life is indeed so. intricate, so "I have learned that men claim dependent upon the laws of physics that. But do you not define this being as they are and not otherwise apirit as something beyond the per­ -then to serve life may be th~ ception of any machine? And are highest purpose of a machine." there not men who deny that this "You may be sure, our physical spirit exists?" construction is intricate." He wasn't "Spirit is so defined. And there sure he could follow the machine's are such men." line of reasoning, but that hardly "Then I do not accept the argu­ mattered if he could somehow win ment of spirit." the game of Life. He kept his fin· Carr dug out a pain pill and swal­ gers on the C-plus activator. lowed it. "Still, you have no evi­ The berserker said: "If I am able dence that spirit does not exist. You to study some living cells -" must consider it as a possibility." Like a hot iron on a nerve, the "That is correct." meteorite-damage indicator moved; "But leaving spirit out of the something was at the hull. "Stop argument for now, consider the phys­ that!" he screamed, without thought. ical and chemical organization of "The first thing you try, I'll kill life. Do you know anything of the you!" delicacy and intricacy or organiza­ tion in even a single living cell? And ts voice was unevenly calm, as al­ surely you must admit we humans I ways. "There may have been carry wonderful computers. inside some accidental contact with your our few cubic inches of skull." bull. I am damaged and many of my "I have never had an intelligent commensal machines are unreliable. captive to dissect," the mechanical I mean to land on this approaching voice informed him blandly, "though planetoid to mine for metal and re­ I have received some relevant data pair myself as far as possible." The from other machines. But you admit indicator was quiet again. that your' form is the determined re­ The berserker resumed its argu­ sult of the operation of physical ment. "If I am able to study some and chemical laws?" living cells from an intelligent life­ "Have you ever thought that those unit for a few hours, I expect I will laws may have been designed to find· strong evidence for, or against, do just that -produce brains cap­ your argument. Will you provide me able of intelligent action?" with cells?" There was a pause that stretched "You must have had prisoners, on and on. Carr's throat felt dry sometime." He said it as a suspicion; and rough, as if he had been speak­ be really knew no reason why it ing for hours. must have bad human captives. It THE LIFE HATER 69 could have learned the language Two hours passed. Carr forced from another. berserker. himself to eat some emergency ra­ "No, I have never taken a prison­ tions, watched the panel, and waited. er." He gave a startled jump when the It waited. The question it had berserker spoke again; nearly six asked still hung in the air. hours had gone by. "The only human cells on this "You are free to leave," it was ship are my own. Possibly I could saying. "Tell the leading life-units of give you a few of them." your planet that when I have refit­ "Half a cubic centimeter should ted, I will be their ally. The study of be enough; not a dangerous loss for your cells has convinced me that the you, I believe. I will not demand part human body is the highest creation of your brain. Also I understand of the universe, and that I should that you wish to avoid the sensation make helping you my purpose. Do called pain. I am willing to help you you understand?" avoid it, if possible." Carr felt numb. "Yes. Yes ' Did it want to drug him? That have convinced you. After you have seemed too simple. Always unpre­ refitted, you will fight on our side." dictability, the stories said, and Something shoved hugely and sometimes a subtlety out of hell. gently at his hull. Through a port he He went on with the game. "I saw stars, and realized that the great have all that is necessary. Be warn­ hatch through which his ship had ed that my attention will hardly entered was swinging open. waver from the control panel. Soon I will place a tissue sample in the ·This far within the system, Carr airlock for you." necessarily kept his ship in nor­ He got the medical kit, took two mal space to travel. It meant he pain-killers, and set very carefully could see the berserker as he fled to work with a sterile scalpel. He from it, and he kept it in sight as had had some biological training. long as possible. His last sight of the When the small wound was ban­ berserker showed it moving as if daged, he cleansed the tissue sample indeed about to let down upon the of blood and lymph and with un­ airless planetoid. Certainly it was steady fingers sealed it into a little not following him. tube. Without letting down his A couple of hours after being guard for an instant, he dragged the freed, he roused himself from con­ fallen pilot to the airlock .and left templation of the radar screen, and it there with the tissue sample. Ut­ went to spend a full minute con­ terly weary, he got back to the com­ sidering the inner airlock door. At bat chair. When he switched the last he shook his head, dialed air outer door open, he heard something into the lock, and entered it. The come into the lock, and leave again. pilot was gone, with the tissue sam­ He took a pep pill. It would stim­ ple. There was nothing strange to ulate some pain, but he'd be alert. be seen. Carr took a deep breath, 70 IF as if relieved, closed up the lock it tried another way. Must have again, and went to a port to spend sneaked the stuff into my cabin air, ··some time watching the stars. just before it let me go - or maybe After a day he began to deceler­ left it in my airlock." ate, so that when hours had added "What stuff?" into another day, he was still a good Carr said, "The stuff you're wor­ distance from home. He ate, and rying about. The poison it thinks slept, and watched his face in a mir· will kill us all. I'd guess it's some ror. He weighed himself, and he freshly mutated virus, designed for watched the stars some more, with specific virulence against the tissue great interest, like a man examining I gave it. It expected I'd hurry home something long forgotten. and land before getting sick, and In two more days, gravity bent his spread a new plague. It must have course into a hairpin ellipse around thought it was inventing biological his home planet. With his whole warfare, using life against life, as we world bulking between him and the use machines against machines. But berserker's rock, Carr began to use it needed that tissue sample to blood his radio. its pet viruses. It didn't know our "Ho, on the ground! Good news." chemistry. It must have been telling The answer came almost instant­ the truth about never having a hu­ ly. "We've been tracking you, Carr. man prisoner." What's going on't What happened?" "Some virus, you think? What's He told them of his encounter it doing to you, Carr? Are you in with the berserker. "So that's the pain-I mean, more than before?" story up to now," he finished. "I ex­ "No." Carr swirled his chair to pect the thing really needs to refit. look at the little chart he had be­ It is seriously damaged. Two war­ gun. It showed that in the last two ships attacking it now should easily days his weight loss had started to win." reverse itself. He looked down at his "Yes." There was excited talk in body, at the bandaged place near the the background. Then the voice was center of a discolored, inhuman-look­ back, sounding uneasy. "Carr-you ing area. That area was smalled than haven't started a landing ap­ it had been, and he saw a hint of proach yet, so maybe you under­ new and healthy skin. stand. We've got to be careful. The "What is the stuff doing to you?" thing was probably lying to you." Carr allowed himself to smile, "Oh, I know. Even that pilot's and to speak aloud his growing collapse might have been staged. I hope. guess the berserker was too badly "I think it's killing off my cancer." shot up to want to risk a battle, so END

THE· LIFE HATER * * * * * 71 IF e Serial

FA NDAM~S

They had thought this world empty of mankind-now they found how wrong they weral

JllUSTRATED BY GAUGHAN 72 SECOND OF THREE PARTS

FREEHOLD BY ROBERT A. HEINLEIN

he object swept on past, turned, recall. When the flying object had T and made a wide circle around appeared, she bad been some dis­ their little plantation - stopped, tance away, putting clothes to soak turned again and came straight to­ in the outside washtub. Now she was ward them at a much lower altitude. circled by his left arm and he could Hugh became aware that Grace feel her trembling. had been screaming, now had "Hugh, what is it?" stopped, and that he had one arm "People." around Barbara- how, he did not The thing hovered above their What Has Gone Before •••

HUGH FARNHAM, building contractor, head of a hous&o hold and dedicated bridge player, is spending a quiet weekend in his home while the world hovers on the brink of disaster. His son,

DUKE, refuses to take the crisis seriously but grudgingly admits the wisdom of Farnham's construction of a bomb shelter -radiation proof, blast proof, self-contained as to air, food and water. Farnham's wife,

GRACE, takes no part in the argument-or in any argu­ ment, for it has been years since Grace Farnham felt needed and important enough to justify her role in the household and she has sunk into a sort of cheerful, alcoholic apathy. Their daughter,

KAREN, a college student, is home for the weekend and has brought with her a schoolmate,

BARBARA WELLS, a girl of twenty. The other person in the household is the houseboy,

JOSEPH, a young Negro whose position in the family is part servant, part substitute son for Hugh Farnham. After dinner they settle down to a few rubbers of bridge-interrupted by a sudden, sneak nuclear attack. The war that all have both feared and dis­ believed in ... has begun.

After a night of terror and discomfort in the shelter, the six survivors emerge and find themselves in a world they do not recognize. There is no sign of bomb damage, except the twisted shell of their shelter-but neither is there any sign of the homes, the roads, the cities that had been all around them. They are alone in a wilderness. Months pass, during which Karen dies and Hugh and Barbara find themselves in love. Then, without warn­ ing, a strange duster of flying machines drop toward them out of the sky. They have been found-but by whom?

74 flagpole. They all now could see was stopped, that he seemed to be that there were people on it; several standing waist deep in invisibJ. heads showed above its low sides. quicksand. "Don't fight it." A corner detached itself from the "I wasn't going to." rectangle, splitting off sharply. It Grace shrilled, "Hubert! Hubert, dove and stopped in the air by the do 90me - " Her cries cut off. peak of the flag pole. Hugh saw that Then she seemed to faint but did it was a separate car, perhaps nine not fall. . feet long and three feet wide, with Four of the boxlike individual can one passenger, or pilot. Still no de­ were six or eight feet in the air, tails could be seen, no clue to mo­ lined up abreast, and were slowly tive power. The car enclosed the cruising over the most level part of lower part of the man's body; his the clearing, Barbara's farm. Where trunk, arms, and head projected they passed, everything underneath, above. Hugh was reminded of a corn stalks, tomato plants, beans, horse and rider, or possibly an Eski­ squash, lettuce, potato hills, every­ mo in a kayak. thing including branching irrigation The man removed the flag from ditches, was leveled, pressed flat the pole, rejoined the main craft. into a 90rt of macadam. His vehicle blended back in, filling The raw end of the main ditch its corner; no seam remained. spilled water over this new pavement. The rectangle in the air suddenly One of the cars whipped around disintegrated. to that point, ran a new and deeper It broke into separate units like ditch around the raped area in a llbat one which had detached itself wide sweep of several hundred yards to filch their flag. Mo9t of them re­ which allowed the ditch water to mained in the air; some dozen or circle around the destroyed garden 90 landed, three of them in a triangle and reach the stream at a new point around the group of colonists. Duke lower down. yelled, "Watch it!" and dived for his Barbara buried her face against gun on the ground. Hugh's shoulder. He patted her The car that had made the by. e ~ever made it. Instead he pass ditch went upstream along th~ H leaned forward at a curious old ditch. Sooa the water ceased to angle as if he were balancing against flow at all. a heavy roll of a ship. He pawed the As fast as the garden was leveled air with an expression of amazement other cars landed on it. Hugh was and slowly was pulled back to ver­ unable to figure out just what they tical. did or how they did it, but a large Barbara gasped in Hugh's ear. pavilion, glossy black and ornately "Hugh, what is it?" decorated in red and gold, grew up "I don't know." He did not have in seconds in the clearing. to ask what she meant; he had sud­ Duke called out, "Dad! For God's denly felt, at the same time his 90n sake, can't you get at your gun?" FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 75 Hugh was wearing a forty-five, bright and merry. His forehead was the only weapon he had planned to high and his skull massive; he looked take on the hike. He had already dis­ intelligent and alert. Hugh could covered that his hands were only not place his race. All the skin that slightly hampered by whatever held showed, from his waist up, was dark, them. But he answered, "I shari't smooth brown and as shiny as if he try." oiled it. But his mouth was only "Are you going to just stand there slightly Negroid, his nose, though and let-" broad, was arched, and his black "Yes. Duke, use your head. If we hair was wavy. hold still and don't fight, we may He carried a small crop, or whip, live longer. We'll try to parley." or swagger stick, but no weapons. Out of the pavilion strode a man. He seemed to be almost seven feet e strode up to them, stopped tall but some of this height was a H abruptly when he reached Jo­ helmet, plumed and burnished. He seph. He gave some curt order to the wore a flowing skirt of red embroid­ nearest of their three captors. ered in gold and was bare from the Joe stretched and bent his legs. waist up save that an end of the "Thanks." skirt was thrown back across one The man spoke to Joe. Joe an­ shoulder such that it covered, diag­ swered, "Sorry, I don't understand." onally, part of his broad chest. He The man spoke again. Joe was shod in black boots. shrugged helplessly. The man grin­ All other men who had passed ned and patted him on the moulder, close enough to be seen were turned away, picked up the rifle dressed in black coveralls with a red Duke had tried for. He handled it and gold patch at the right shoulder. clumsily, making Hugh flinch at his Hugh felt an impression that this apparent ignorance of, or indiffer­ man (there was no slightest doubt ence to, safety precautions about that he was master) - that the big where to point the muzzle of a gun. man, the boss, the commander, had Nevertheless he seemed to under­ taken his time to change into more stand guns. He worked the bolt, formal clothes. Hugh was encour­ ejecting one cartridge, then put it to aged by this. Unquestionably they his shoulder with passable form, were prisoners - but if the leader aimed at a point and fired. took the trouble to dress up be­ The blast was deafening. He had fore interviewing them, then it fol­ fired right past Hugh's ear. lowed that they were prisoners of He grinned broadly, tossed the some importance and a parley might rifle to one of his subordinates, be fruitful. Or did that follow? walked up to Hugh and Barbara, · But he was encouraged by the reached out to touch Barbara's child­ man's visage as well as his clothes. swollen belly. He had an air of good-natured, jov­ Hugh knocked his hand away. ial arrogance and his eyes were With a gesture almost negligent, 76 IF certainly without anger, the big man Noua sommes tous americains." brushed Hugh's hand aside with "Vraiment? Impossible!" the crop he carried. It was not a "C'est vrai, monsieur. Je vous en blow, it would barely have swatted assure." Joe pointed to the peak of a fly. the empty flag pole. "Les Etats-Unis Hugh gasped in agony. His hand de 1' Amerique." burned like fire and his arm was The conversation became less numb to the armpit. "Oh, God!" easy to follow as both sides stumbled Barbara said urgently, "Don't, along in broken French. ia least Hugh. Let him. He isn't hurting they paused and Joe said, ""Hugh, me." he has asked me- ordered me, I Nor was he. With a manner 1!bink - to come with him into his which showed only impersonal in­ tent and talk. I've asked him to let terest as a veterinarian might take you all loose first. He says No. 'Hell, in feeling a pregnant mare or bitch, no!' it amounts to." the big man felt out the shape of "Ask him to let the women loose." the child she carried- while Hugh "I'll try." Joe spoke at some writhed in that special humiliation length with the big man. "He says of a man unable to protect his wom­ the enceinte femme- that's Bar­ an. bara- can sit down where she is. The big man finished, grinned at But the 'fat one' -Grace he means Barbara and patted her head. Hugh -is to come along with us." tried to ignore the pain in his hand "Good enough. Good work, Joe. and dug into his memory for a Get us a deal." language imperfectly learned. "Vooi "I'll try. I don't understand him govoriti'yeh po-Russki, Gospodin?" very well." The man glanced at him, made no answer. he three went into the pavilion. Barbara said, "Sprechen sie deut­ T Barbara found that she could sch, mein Herr?" sit down, even stretched out which That got her a smile, nothing Hugh urged her to do. But the in­ more. Hugh called out, "Duke, try visible web held Hugh as clingingly him in Spanish!" as ever even though she was right "Okay,. l Halbla usted Espanol, next to him. Senor'!" No responss. "Dad," Duke said urgently, "this Hugh sighed. "We've shot our is our chance to make plans, while wad." nobody is around who understands "1\l'sicur?" Joe said. "Est-ce que English." vous parlez Ia langue francaise?" "Duke," Hugh answered wearily, The man suddenly turned and "can't you see they hold all the faced Joseph. "Tiens?" trumps? It's my guess that we are "Parlez-vous francais, monsieur?" alive as long as he isn't annoyed "1\fais oui! Vous etes francaises?" with us-- and not oDe minute long­ "i•:on. non! Je suis americain. er." FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 77 "Aren't you even going to try to water, looked and saw a brown wave fight? Where's all that talk you used rushing down the stream bed. Bar­ to giva me about bow you were a bara raised her head and asked, free man and planned to stay free?" "What is that?" Hugh rubbed his hurt hand. "Our dam is gone. It doesn't mat­ "Duke, I'm not going to argue. You ter." start anything now and you'll get After a long time Joe came out us all killed. That's how I size it of the pavilion alone. He came up up." to Hugh and said, "Well, here's the "So it was just talk?" Duke said scoop, as nearly as I can get it. Not scornfully. "Well, I'm not making too near, maybe; he speaks some sort any promises." of patois and neither one of us ia "All right, all right. Drop it." really fluent anyhow. But here it is. "I'm still not making any prom­ We're trespassers, this is private ises. Just tell me one thing, Dad. land. He also figured that we were How does it feel to be shoved escaped prisoners - the word ia around? Instead of doing the shov­ something else, not French, but ing?" that's the idea. I've convinced him "I don't like it." - I think I've convinced him - "Neither did L And I've never tha1 we are perfectly i~nocent people forgotten it. I hope you get your brought here through no fault of bellyful of it." our own. Barbara said, "Duke, for heaven's "Anyhow, he's not mad at us, sake, stop talking like a fool!" even though we are technically crim­ Duke looked a.t her. "I'll shut up. inals - trespass, and planting things Just tell me one thing. Where did where farms aren't supposed to be you get that baby in you?" and building a dam and a house and Barbara did not answer. Hugh things like that. He's not really sore said quietly, "Duke, if we get out and I think everything is going to of this, I promise you a beating for be all right - as long as we do as that remark." we are told. He finds us interesting "Any time, old man, any time." -how we got here and so forth." They quit talking. Barbara reached Joe stopped and looked at Bar­ out and patted Hugh's ankle. Four bara. "You remember that theory or five of the uniformed men gath­ that you had about parallel uni­ ered around the pile of household verses?" objects, picked through them, look­ "Certainly. I guess I was right. ing them over. A man whose man­ No?" ner· spelled petty officer came up "No." Joe shook his head. "This and gave them an order; they dis­ part is as confused as can be and I persed. He looked at some of the didn't understand it. But one thing objects himself, then peered into is absolutely sure. Barbara, Hugh - the shelter and went inside. Duke, get this! This is our own Hugh heard a sound of rushing world, right here." 78 U' uke said, "Joe, that's prepo~ter­ was behind them, rather muchly D ous." buried in cats. "You argue it with him. He's con­ Off to his r.ight, two cars had not vinced me. He knows what I mean joined up. One hovered over the by the United States, he knows pile of household goods, gathered where France is. And so forth. No them up in a non-existent cargo net, question about it." moved away. The second car posi­ "Well-" Duke paused. "As tioned itself directly over the shel- may be. But what about this? ter. · Where's my mother? What's the idea The massive concrete block lifted, of leaving her in there with that steadily, straight up, aO:d on an even savage?" keel, without disturbing the shack "She's all right, she's having lunch on its roof. The small car and its with him. And she's enjoying it. giant burden took position about Just let it run easy, Duke, and we're fifty feet off the starboard side. The going to be okay, I think. Soon as entire formation moved forward and they finish lunch we'll be leaving." gathered speed but Hugh felt no A few minutes later Hugh helped· wind of motion. The little car flank­ Barbara climb into the•back of one ing them seemed to have no struggle of the odd flying machines, then keeping up despite its giant burden. mounted into one himself, behind Hugh could not see the ot'her loaded the pilot. He found the seat comfort­ car but assumed that it was on the able and, in place of a safety belt, port side. a field of that invisible quicksand The last he saw of their home was enclosed the lower part of his body a bare scar where the shelter had as he sat down. His pilot, a young rested, a larger scar where Barbara's Negro who looked remarkably like farm had been, and a meandering Joe, glanced back then took off with track that used to mark an irriga­ neither noise nor fuss and joined his tion ditch. car into the reforming rectangle in He looked away and rubbed his the air. Hugh saw that perhaps half sore hand, reflecting that the whole the small cars had passengers; the thing had been a gross abuse of passengers were whites, the pilots coincidence. It offended him the way were invariably colored, ranging a hand of thirteen spades in a puta­ from as light brown as a Javanese tively honl!st deal would. offend him. to as sooty black as a Fiji Islander. He pondered a remark Joe had made The car he was in was half way just before they had loaded: "We back and in the outside starboard were incredibly lucky to have en­ rank of the formation. He looked countered a scholar. French is a around, spotting where each of the dead language - 'une langue per­ others had wound up, and was only due,' he called it." . mildly surprised to see that Grace Hugh craned his neck back to was riding behind the boss man, in the lef.t, caught Barbara's eye. She the front rank, middle position. Joe smiled at him. FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 79 XI mer Palace - thirty-eight of the Chosen but only four hundred and emtok, Chief Palace Domestic sixty-three servants; the summer M to the Lord Pl'otector of the residence was run with a skeleton Noonday Region, was busy and staff. The twice-yearly move always happy- happy because he was busy, involved a wash of paperwork - although he was not aware that he purchase orders, musters, inventor­ was happy and was giYen to com­ ies, vouchers, shipping lists, revis­ plaining about how hard he had to ions of duty rosters, dispatches­ work, all because, as he put it, and he considered as usual advising although he commanded some eigh­ his patron to have some likely young­ teen hundred servants there were not ster muted and trained as his clerk. three of them who could be trusted But he rejected the idea, also as to empty a &lop jar without close usual; Memtok did not trust servants supervision. who could read and write and add, He had just completed a pleasant it gave them ideas even if they interview chewing out the head could not talk. chef; he had suggested that the chef The truth was, Memtok loved his himself, old and tough as he cer­ paperwork and did not want to tainly would be, nevertheless would share it. His hands flew quickly over make a better roast than the piece the papers, checking figures, signing of meat tlhe ohef had been careless his symbol, okaying payments. He enough to send in to Their Charity held his pen in an odd fashion, the evening before. One of the duties nested between the first three fingers that Memtok assumed personally was of' his right hand - this because he always to sample what his lord ate, had no thumbs. despite the risk of poison and de­ He did not miss them, could bare­ spite the fact that Their Charity's ly remember what it had been like tastes in cuisine were not his own. to have them. Nor did he need It was merely one of the innum­ them. He could handle a spoon, a erable ways in which Memtok gave pen, and a whip without them, and ever painstaking attention to de­ he had no need ever to handle any­ tails, an imaginative diligence that thing else. had brought him, still in his prime, Far from missing his thumbs, he to his present supreme eminence. was proud of their absence; they The head chef had grumbled and proved that he had served his loro Memtok · had sent him away with in both major capacities, at stud just a taste of the lesser whip to re­ when he was younger and now these mind him that cooks were not all many years as a tempered domestic. that hard to find. Then he had Every male servant over fourteen turned happily to his paperwork. (with some scarce special excep­ There were stacks of it, as he had tions) showed one alteration or the just completed moving the house­ other; very few could exhibit both, hold from the Palace to the Sum- only a few hundred on the entire so IF Earth. Those few spoke as equals ago. I been looking all over for only to each other, they were an you." elite. "Get out!" Memtok was jarred Someone scratched at the door. out of his warm euphoria of fussing "Come!" he called out, then, when with bits of paper. The important he saw who it was, growled, "What part of the message was that Their do you want?" The growl was auto­ Charity was arriving home instead matic but he really did dislike this of staying away over night. Chef, servant for the best of reasons; he Receptionist, Musical Director, was not subject to Memtok's dis-­ Housekeeper, Groundskeeper, all cipline. He was of a different caste, heads of departments- he was huntsmen, wardens, keepers, and phoning orders even as he thought. beaters, and was subject to the Four savages? Who cared about four Majordomo of the Preserve. The savage..<~? Majordomo considered himself to be But he was on the roof and ac­ of the same rank as the Chief Dom­ cepted their custody. He would have estic, and nominally was. However, been there anyway, with the Lord he had thumbs. Protector arriving. Memtok's greatest objections to the Summer Palace was that it often hen they arrived Hugh had no put him in contact with these serv­ W chance to see Barbara, re­ ants who had the unpardonable assure her, tell her to keep her chin fault of not being under his orders. up. When at last he was released While it would take only a word to from the gentle restraint of the Their Charity to crack down on one "seat belt," he was Confronted by a of them, he disliked to ask, and little bald-headed white man with a while he could touch one of them waspish face, an abrupt manner, and up a little without any real fear of a whip. He was dressed in a white reprimand, the louse would be sure · robe which reminded Hugh of the to complain to his own boss. Mem­ night shirts his grandfather had tok did not believe in friction be­ worn, save that it had on the right tween executive servants. Bad for shoulder the red and gold patch morale. which Hugh had tentatively identi­ "Message from Boss. Rayed to fied as the insigne of the big man, teU you Their Charity on his way the boss. The emblem was repeated back. Says four savages with the in rubies and gold on the chest of escort. Says you better tear up to the the little man as a medallion sup­ roof, take care of them. All." ported by a heavy gold chain. "'All'? Damn you, what do you The man in the nightshirt looked mean 'All'? Why four savages? And him over with obvious distaste, then in the Name of Uncle when are they turned him and Duke over to an­ arriving?" other white man in a nightshirt. "All," the servant insisted. "Mes­ This man wore no medallion but sage came in about twenty minutes did carry a small whip. Hugh rubbed FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 81 his. hand and resolved not to test harsh, changed to cold and still whether this whip was as potent as harsher, were replaced by vioknt the ornate one carried by the big blasts of hot air. boss. It was all too much like an auto­ Duke tested it. The angry little matic dishwasher, Hugh felt, but man gave instructions to his straw they ended up cleaner than they had boss, and left. The straw boss gave been in months. An assistant to the them an order; Hugh correctly in­ bathmaster then plastered strips over terpreted the tone and gesture as: each of their eyebrows, rubbed an "All right, you guys, get going. This emulsion on their scalps, into their way" - and got going. scratchy beards (neither had shaved Duke didn't. The straw boss bare­ that day), over their backs and ly touched him on his left calf; chests and arms and legs, and finally Duke yelped before he could stop into their pubic hair. Duke got an­ himself. He limped the rest of the other lesson in obedience before he way - down a ramp, into what submitted to this last indignity. turned out to be a very fast lift, then When, immediately thereafter, they into a windowless, light, white-walled were subjected willy-nilly to enemas, room which whiffed vaguely of hos­ he gritted his teeth and took it. The pitals. water closet was a whirlpool set in Duke understood the order to the floor. Tb.eir finger and toe nails strip down without needing to be were cut short. stimulated; he cursed but complied. After that they were bathed again. Hugh merely complied. He was be­ The eyebrow patches washed away. ginning to understand the system. So did their hair. When they came The whips were used as spurs are out this time, they were both bald used by a good rider, to exact all over, save for eyebrows. prompt obedience but not with in­ The bathmaster made them gargle, tent to damage. showing them what he wanted and From there they were herded in­ spitting into the whirlpool. They to a smaller room where they were gargled three times- a rather pleas­ hit from all sides by streams of ant, pungent liquid- and when it water. The operator was in a gallery was over Hugh found that his teeth above. He shouted at them, then in­ seemed cleaner than they had ever dicated in pantomine that they were been in his life. In fact he felt ut­ to scrub. terly clean, lively, glowing with They scrubbed. The water jets cut wellbeing- but humiliated. off, they were doused in a sirup that They were taken to another room was liquid soap or detergent. They and examined. scrubbed again and were rinsed and were required to scrub still again, · heir examiner was clearly a phy­ all to gestures that left no doubt as T sician. He wore the conven­ to how thorough a bath was expect­ tional white night shirt and a small ed. The water jets got very hot and insigne on a thin gold chain but he 82 IF needed no diplomas on the wall point. Hugh conveyed ag·"f.~Cm'2nt - to show his profession. His bedside with some difficulty, as nodding the manner would never make him rich, head seemed to mean a negative re­ Hugh decided; he had the air of sponse. many military surgeons Hugh had An assistant came in and handed known - not unkind but quite im­ the physician a contrivance which personal. turned out to be another dental He seemed much surprised by and bridge, for Hugh was required to very interested in a removable bridge open his mouth; the old one . was he found in Hugh's mouth. He ex­ again taken out and the new one amined it closely, looked in Hugh's carefully seated. It felt to Hugh's mouth at the gaps it had filled, gave tongue as if he again had natural it to one of his assistants with some teeth there. The physician then instructions. The assistant went away probed a couple of cavities, cleaned and Hugh wondered if his chewing them out and filled them -without was going to be permanently ham­ pain but without anesthesia so far as pered. Hugh was aware. The physician took a leisurely After that Hugh was rather sud­ hour or more over each of them, denly "strapped" (an invisible field using instruments Hugh did not rec­ again) to a table, supine, and his legs ognize and whose functions he could were elevated. Another table was not, in most cases, guess. Weight, wheeled up and Hugh suddenly real­ height, and blood pressure were al­ ized that he was being prepared for most the only familiar items. Things surgery- and with horror he was were done to them, too, none of sure just what sort of surgery. them really unpleasant - no hypo­ "Duke! Don't let them grab you! dermic needles, no knives. During Fight! Get that whip!" this, Hugh's bridge was returned and Duke hesitated an instant too long. he was allowed to put it back in. The therapist did not carry a whip; But the tests andjor treatments he merely kept one at hand. Duke often seemed to be indignities even lunged for it, the physician got it though not painful. Once, when first. Moments later Duke was on his Hugh was stretched out on a table back, still gasping his agony at pun­ from which Duke had just been re­ ishment he had taken in trying to leased, the younger man said, "How stop it and having his knees elevated do you like it, Dad?" and spread. They both went on pro­ "Restful." te..~ting. Duke snorted. The physician looked at them The fact that both men had ap­ thoughtfully and the straw boss who pendicitis scars seemed to interest had fetched them was called in. They the physician as much as the re­ conferred. Presently the waspish movable bridge. By acting he indi­ little man with the big medallion cated a severe bellyache, then jabbed strode in, looked the situation over, a thumb vigorously into McBurney's stormed out. FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 83 here was a long wait. The boss plain, windowless room, which turn­ T therapist filled in the time by ed out to be a school room. Two of having his assistants complete prep­ the short white men in nightshirts arations for the surgery and there were there. They were equipped was no longer the slightest doubt in with many props, the equivalent of Hugh's mind, or Duke's, as to just a blackboard (it could be cleared what they were in for. In fact Duke instantly by some magic), infinite pointed out that it would have been patience- and a whip, for the les­ far better if they had fought- and sons were "taught to the tune of a died- earlier in the day, rather hickory stick." No error went un· than wind up like this. As they noted. would have fought, he reminded his They both could draw well and father, if Hugh hadn't turned out to both were skilled and imaginative be chicken. pantominists; Hugh was taught to Hugh didn't argue, he agreed. He speak. tried to tell himself that his docility He was taught with extraordinary in being captured was on account of speed. Hugh discovered that his the women. But it afforded him little memory was greatly sharpened by comfort. the stimuli of pain; he had little After a long time the little man tendency to repeat a mistake. At with the medallion stormed back in, first he was punished only for for­ apparently angrier than ever. He getting vocabulary, but as he learn­ snapped one curt order; Hugh and ed, he also grew to expect flicks of Duke were released. pain for errors in inflection, con­ That ·ended it, save that they were struction, idiom, and accent. each rubbed all over with a fragrant This Pavlovian treatment con­ cream. They were given a white tinued -if his mental records were nightshirt apiece, conducted some correct- for seventeen days; he did distance through long bare passages nothing else and saw ·no one but his and Hugh was shoved into a cell. teachers. They worked in shifts. The door was not locked but he Hugh worked every possible minute, could not open it. about sixteen hours a day, he In one corner was a tray, with thought; at least he was never al­ covered dishes and a spoon. The lowed quite enough sleep although food was excellent and some of it he never felt sleepy- he didn't dare utterly unidentifiable; Hugh ate with - during lessons. Once a day h.e good appetite, scraping the dishes was bathed and given a clean night­ and drinking all of the thin beer shirt, twice a day he was fed, tasty with it. Then he slept for a while food and plentiful, three times a day on a soft part of the floor, having he was policed to the toilet. All oth­ blanked his mind of useless worry. er minutes were spent learning to He was awakened by being prod­ speak, with ever the sharp aware­ ded with a foot. ness that any bobble would be in­ He was taken to still another stantly punished. .... IF But he learned how to duck pun­ "If two of the Chosen speak to ishment - sometimes. A question, you at once, which one do you an­ quickly put, would sometimes do. swer?" "Teacher, this one understands that "The junior," Hugh answered. there are protocol modes for each "Why?" status, rising and falling, but what "Since the Chosen do not make this one in its ignorance Jacks is mistakes, this one's ears were at knowledge of what each status is - fault. The senior did not actually being wholly without experience speak, for his junior would never through the inscrutable ways of have interrupted." Uncle the Mighty - and also is "Correct. You are a· tempered sometimes not aware of the status gardener and you encounter a Cho­ assumed for teaching purposes by sen of the same rank as your lord my charitable teacher and of the uncle. He speaks. 'Boy, what sort of status this humble one is expected a flower is that?' " to assume in reply. More than that, "As Their Charity knows much this one does not know its own sta­ better than this one can ever know, tus in the great family. May it please if this one's eyes are not mistaken, its teacher." that plant may be a hydrangea." "Good enough. But drop your he whip was put down and for eyes when you say it. Not to me. T the next half hour he was lec-­ To the Chosen. Now about your tured. The problem was more in­ status -" The teacher look:ed pain­ volved than Hugh's question show­ ed. "You haven't any." ed. The lowest possible status was "Please, teacher?" stud. No, there was one lower: ser­ "Uncle! I've tried to find out. No­ vant children. But children were ex­ body knows but our Lord Uncle and pected to make mistakes, it did not they have not ruled. You're not a matter; truly they had no status. child, you're not a stud, you're no~ Next higher was slut, then tempered a tempered, you don't belong any­ servant- a category with subtle where. Uncle alone knows. You're and effectively unlimited gradations a savage and you don't fit." of rank inside it, so involved that "But what protocol mode must I speech of equals was often used if use?" the gradient was not clearly evident. "Always the rising. Oh, not to High above all servants were the children. Nor to sluts, I venture. No Chosen, with their own unlimited need to overdo it." and sometimes changing variations Except for the changes in inflec­ of rank, including those ritual cir­ tion by status, Hugh found the lan­ cumstances in which a lady takes guage simple and remarkably logi­ precedence over a lord. But that was cal. lt had no irregular verbs and its not usually any worry of a servant; syntax was orderly; it probably had always use protocol rising mode. been tidied up at some time by edict. However- He suspected, from a few words that FARN·HAM'S FREEHOLD 85 he recognized- "simba," "bwana," Memtok hesitated, then backed "wazir," "etage," "trek," "oncle"­ away and left. Joe ignored him, slip­ that it had its roots in several Afri­ ped his arm in Hugh's, and led him can languages. But that did not mat­ to a divan. "Gosh, it's good to see ter. This was "Speech" and, accord­ you! Sit down, we'll talk until Ponse ing to his teachers, the only langu­ gets here. You look well." Doctor age spoken anywhere. Livingstone came up, checked In addition to protocol modes, Hugh's ankles, purred and stropped quite a chunk of the vocabulary was agaiust them. double, one form of a word being "I am well. 'Ponse'?" Hugh reach­ used down, its exact synonym al­ ed down and scratched the eat's though often utterly different in root ears. used up. He had to know both­ "Don't you know his name? The be able to recognize one and to use Lord Protector, I mean. No, I guess the other. you wouldn't. That's one of his The pronunciation gave him trou­ names, the one he uses en famille. ble at· first, but by the end of the He has a string of them, of course. first week he could lip-smack, click, Never mind, have they been treat­ make the fut glottal stop, and hear ing you all right?" and say vowel distinctions he had "Yes. I suppose so." never suspected existed. By the "They had better. Ponse gave or­ sixteenth day he was chattering free­ ders for you to be pampered. Look, ly, beginning to think in it, and the if you aren't treated okay, you tell whip was rarely used. · me. I can fix it." Late the next day the Lord Pro­ Hugh hesitated. "Joe, have you tector sent for him. had one of those odd whips used on you?" XII "Me?'' Joe seemed astonished. "No, of course no." He looked lthough he had already been troubled. "Hugh, have they been A bathed that day, Hugh was abusing you? Peel off that mother rushed through another violent bath hubbard and let me have a look." in five minutes, rubbed down with Hugh shook his head. "There are fragrant cream, and issued a fresh no marks on me. I haven't been white robe, before being whizzed to hurt. But I certainly don't like it." the lord'li private apartments. There "But if you've been stroked for he was bounced past a series of re­ no reason- Hugh, that's one thing ceptionists close on Memtok's heels, that Ponse does not tolerate, I know. and into a large, private, and very He's a very humane sort of guy. All sumptuous retiring room. he wants is discipline. If anybody­ The lord was not there; Joseph anybody at all, even Memtok -has and Dr.-Livingstone-1-Presume were. been cruel to you, well, somebody Joe called out, "Hugh! Wonderful! is going to catch it." You may go Memtok." Hugh thought about it. In actual 86 IF FARNHAM' S FREEHOLD 87 truth he rather liked his teachers. "I'm flattered. Then you've seen They had worked hard and patiently her. Joe, I've got to see her. Right over him and had been quite sparing away. How do I arrange it?" of him once it became possible to talk instead of using the whip. "I oe looked astonished. "But you haven't been hurt. Just reminded." J can't see her, Hugh. Surely you "I'm glad to hear it. Actually, know that." Hugh, I didn't see how you could "Why, in God's name, can't I?" be. That quirt Ponse carries - well, "Why, you're not tempered, that's you could ki1l a man with it at a why. Impossible." thousand feet. I takes real skill to "Oh." use it gently. But those toys the up­ "I'm sorry, but that's the way it per servants carry, all they do is is." Joseph suddenly grinned. "But tingle and that's aU they are sup­ I understand that you· were almost posed to do." made eligible by accident. Ponse Hugh decided not to argue over laughed his head off at how close what constituted a tingle; he had you came and how you and Duke more urgent things on his mind. yelped." · "Joe, how are the others? Have you "I don't see the humor of it, I'm seen- them?" afraid." "Oh, they're all right. Certainly. "Oh, shucks, Hugh, he simply has You heard about Barbara?" a robust sense of humor. He laughed "I haven't heard a damn thing! when he told me about it. I didn't What about Barbara?" laugh and he decided that I have "Slow down. Having her babies, no sense of humor. Different people I mean." laugh at different things. Karen used "She had her baby?" to use a fake Negro dialect that set "'Babies,' I said. Twin boys, iden­ my teeth on edge, the times I hap­ tical. A week ago." pened to overhear it. But she didn't "How is she? How is she?" mean any harm by it. Karen- Well, "Easy, man! She's just fine, they just don't come any better, and couldn't be better. Of course. They you and I both know it and I'll shut are way ahead of where we were in up about it. Look, if the vet had medicine; losing a mother, or a gone ahead on you, without orders, baby, is unheard of." Joe suddenly it would have cost him his hands; looked sad. "It's a cfuty shame they Ponse sent that word to him. Might didn't run across us at least three have suspended the sentence, of months back." He brightened, "Bar­ course, to save his usefulness­ bara told me that she had intended good surgeons are valuable. But his to name it Karen, if it was a girl. assumption was only natural, Hugh. When it turned out to be twin boys, Both you and Duke are too tall and she named one- the one five min­ too big for stud. However, Ponse utes the elder- 'Hugh' and named doesn't tolerate sloppiness." the other 'Karl Joseph.' Nice, eh?" "All right, all right. I still don't 88 IF see the harm in my calling on Bar­ by looking at you. Two capital bara and seeing her babies. You saw crimes and both self-evident. Es­ her. And you're not tempered." capees. Servants who had run away Joe looked patiently exasperated. from their lord. Destructive tres­ "Hugh, it'~ not the same thing. Sure­ pass in a personal domain of the ly you know it." Supreme Proprietor. Open-and-shut "Why isn't it?" on both counts and death for each Joe sighed. "Hugh, I didn't make of them. Now don't te11 me that the rules. But I'm Chosen and you're wasn't the way it was because I ai­ not, and that's all there is to it. It's ready know it and it took ~e long not my fault that you're white, now, enough to make Ponse see it, using • it?" a language neither one of us knows "No. All right. Forget it." too well. And my own neck is still "Let's just be glad that one of us in jeopardy. However-" He bright­ is in a position to get us all some ened up - "Ponse te11s me that the favors. Do you realize that all of Supreme Proprietor is ten years be­ you would have been executed at hind in reviewing criminal cases and o11ce? If I hadn't been along?" t!hat it has been more years than "The thought has crossed my that since he last set foot on this mind. Lucky indeed that you knew preserve or even cruised over it ... French. And that he knows some and that long before my case can French." possibly come up there won't be a Joe shook his head. "French didn't trace of any destruction. They are enter into it, it merely saved time. already putting the trees back and The point was that I was there ... there's never an accurate count of and the rest of you were excused bears and deer and other game. He of any responsibility on that account. tells me not to worry." What had to be settled then was the "Well, that's good." degree of my criminality. My neck "But maybe you think I haven't was very much in a noose." Joe done some sweating over it! Just frowned. "I'm still not in the clear. letting your shadow fall across the I mean, Ponse is convinced he's ac­ Supreme Lord Proprietor means quitted me. But my case sti11 has your neck. Sneezing in his presence to be reviewed by the Supreme Lord is even worse - so you can figure Proprietor. It's his preserve- Ponse out for yourself that trespassing on is just custodian. I could be executed land that is his personally is nothing for it yet." to take lightly. But I shan't worry as long as Ponse says not to. He's "Joe what in the world is there been treating me as a guest, not as about it to cause you to talk a prisoner. But tell me about your­ about being executed?" self. I hear you've been studying the "Plenty! Look, if you four ofays language. So have I-a tutor every had been there alone, Ponse would day I've had time for it." have tried you and excuted you just Hugh answered, "May it meet FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 89 with their approval, this one's time oe stood up and went to meet his has, as they know, been devoted to J host. Hugh stood with head nothing else." bowed, eyes downcast, and waited "Whoo! You speak it better than to be noticed. Ponse came striding I do." in, dressed much as Hugh had seen "I was given incentive," Hugh him before save that the helmet was said, relapsing into English. "Joe. replaced by a little red skullcap. He have you seen Duke? Grace?" greeted Joe, sat heavily down on a "Duke, no. I haven't tried to. Fact large divan, stuck out his legs. Doc· is, Ponse has been away most of the tor Livingstone jumped up into the time and took me along; I've been lord's lap; he stroked it. Two female terribly busy. Grace, yes. It's even servants appeared from nowhere, possible that you might see Grace. pulled off his boots, wiped his feet She's often in these apartments. with a hot towel, dried them, mas­ That's the oaly way you could see saged them, placed slippers on them, her, of course. Right here. And in and vanished. the presence of Ponse. Might hap­ While this was going on, the Lord pen. He's not a stickler for protocol Protector spoke to Joe of matters when it suits his convenience to Hugh had never heard of and could break it. In private, I mean. He not follow other than as words, but keeps up appearaaces in public. His he noticed with interest that the position requires it." noble used the mode of equals to Joe "Hmm-Joe, in that case, and that Joe talked the same fash­ couldn't you ask him to let me see ion to him. Hugh decided that Joe Barbara and the twins? Here? In his must be in as solid as Doctor Liv· presence?" ingstone. Well, Joe did have a very Joe looked exasperated. "Hugh, pleasing personality. can't you understand that I'm just At last the big man glanced at a guest? I'm here on sufferance. I him. "Sit down, boy." don't have a single ..servant of my Hugh sat down, on the floor. The own, no money, no title. I said you lord went on, "Have you learned might see Grace here; I did not say Language? We're told that you have." you would. If you did, it would be "May it please Their Charity, this because he had sent for you and it one's time has been devoted singly suited him not to send her out­ to that purpose, with what inade­ not for your convenience. As for quate results known to them far bet­ asking him to let you see Barbara, ter than their servant would dare I simply can't. And that's that! I ad­ venture to estimate." vise· you not to, either. You might "Not bad, not bad. Accent could learn that his quirt doesn't just tin· be crisper. And you missed an infix gle." on one word. How do you like the "All I meant was-" weather we've been having lately?" "Watch it, Hugbl Hero he comes, "Weather is as Uncle the Mighty we'd better rise." ordains it. If it pleases His favorite 90 Ill' nephew, it cannot fail to make joy­ I not myself a scholar, and had I ful one so bumble as this servant." not seen with my own eyes the arti­ "Quite good. Accent still blurry facts in that curious structure, your but understandable. Work on it. house, I would not have believed it. Tell your teachers we said it. Now As it is, I must. I'm not a super­ drop that fancy speech, I haven't stitious man. Uncle works in mys­ time to listen to it when I want a terious ways, granted, but He doesn't straight answer. Equals speech, al­ use miracles ... and I would . not ways. In private, I mean." hesitate to repeat that in any temple "All right. I -" Hugh broke off oo Bart!b, unorthodox as. it sound~. IUddenly; one of the female servanta But- How long does it come to, had returned, to kneel in front of her Joe?" bd with a cold drink on an ornate "Two thousand one hundred and tray. three years." Ponse glanced sharply at Hugh, "Call it two thousand. What's the then looked at the girl. "It? Doesn't matter, Hugh?" count, it's a deaf mute. You were "Ub, nothing, nothing." saying?" "If you're going to throw up, "Nothing much. I was about to please go outside to do it; I picked say that I couldn't have an opinion out these rugs myself. As I was say­ about the weather because I haven't ing, you've given my scientists some­ seen it at all since I got here." thing to think about- and a good "I suppose not. I gave orders for thing, too; they haven't turned out you to learn Language as quickiy anything more important than a bet­ as possible and servants are inclined ter mouse trap in years. Lazy scoun­ to follow instructions literally. No drels. I've told them to come up imagination. All right, you are to with a sensible answer, no miracles. walk outdoors an hour each day How five people- or six, I under­ from now on. Tell whoever is in stand- and a small building of cilarge of you. Any petition? Are some mass could hurdle twenty cen­ you getting enough to eat? Are you turies and never break an egg. Ex­ being treated well?" aggregation. Joe tells me it broke "The food is good. I'm used to some bones and some other things. eating three times a day but-" Speaking of bones, Joe tells me this "You can eat four times a day if won't please you - and it didn't It's any comfort to you. Again, tell please him - but for scientific reas­ the one in charge of you. All right, ons, I ordered my scientists to dis­ now to other matters. Hugh -that's turb some bones. Strontium samp­ your name, isn't it?" ling, that sort of thing; I suppose "Yes, Their Charity." you've never heard of it. Clear proof "Can't you hear? I said, 'Use that the cadaver bad matured before equals mode.' My private name ia the period of maximum radioactiv­ Ponse. Use it. Hugh, if I had not ity- Look, I warned you about picked you people up myself, were these rugs. DoD't do it!" PAINHAM'S FREEiKOLD " 'Hugh gulped ("Karen! Karen! received from Joe, I ordered them Oh, my darling!") to look for evidence that this event "Better now? Perhaps I should took place at the very beginning of tell you that a priest was present the East-West War that destroyed throughout, all proper propitiations the Northern Hemisphere. were made - exactly as if it had "So they found it. And calculations been one of the Chosen. Special con­ led them to believe that the struc­ cession, my orders. And when the ture must have been very near to the tests were completed every atom was origin of an atom-kernel explosion. returned and the grave closed with Yet it was unhurt. That produced a proper rites. theory so wild that I won't tire your "That's true, Hugh," Joseph said ears with it; I've told them to go on gravely. "I was there. And I put working. on fresh flowers. Flowers that will "But the best thing, from my stay fresh, I'm told." viewpoint, is the historical treasure "Certainly they will stay fresh," you bring with you. I am a man of Ponse confirmed, ''until they wear history, Hugh. History, properly in­ out from sheer erosion. I don't know terpreted, tells everything. The trea­ why you use flowers but if there sure, of course, are those books that are any other rites or sacrifices nec­ came along with you. I am not ex­ essary to atone for what may seem aggerating when I say that they are to you a desecration, just name it. my most precious possessions. There I'm a broad-minded man; I'm aware are only two other copies of the that other times bave bad other cus­ Encyclopedia Britannica in the world toms." today - and those other two are not "No. No, best just let it be." this edition and are in such poor "As you wish. It was done from shape that they are curiosities rather scientific necessity. It seemed more than something a scholar can work reasonable than amputating one of with; they weren't cared for during your fingers though perhaps I might the Turmoil Ages." have asked you. Other tests also kept Ponse leaned back and stretched my scientists from wiggling out of and looked very happy. "But mine the obvious. Foods preserved by is in mint condition!" primitive methods so ancient that I He added, "I'm not discounting doubt if any modem food expert the other books. Treasures, all of would know how to go about dupli­ them. Especially one, the Adven­ cating same -and yet the foods tures of Odysseus, which is not were, I am told, edible. At least known only by reputation. I take it some servants were required to eat that the pictures in that book date them. No harm resulted. A fascina­ from the time of Odysseus, too?" ting radioactivity gradient between "I'm afraid not. The artist was the upper and inner sides of the alive in my time." roof structure - I gave them a hint "Too bad. They're interesting, on that one. Acting on information nevertheless. Primitive art, stronger fJ IF than we have now. But perhaps I scure to me and commonplace to exaggerated when I said that the you. the books were my chiefest posses- "Right? Right! So you see what sion." I want of you. Start· with the En­ "Yes?" cyclopedia Britannica. Get busy to­ "You are! There! Doesn't that day, translate it. Just scribble it. out please you?" quickly, sloppy but fa~t S V"~ 'ne else will pretty it up for my eyes. ugh barely hesitated. "Yes. If Understand? All right, go do it." .. H true." (If it's true that I am Hugh opened his mouth, gulped, your chatteL you arrogant bastard, I closed it, then started ov~r. "But, prefer being a valuable one!) Ponse, I can't write Language." "Oh, quite true. And if you had "What?" been speaking in protocol mode, you "I was taught to speak it; I haven't wouldn't have been able to phrase a been taught to read and write it." doubt. I never lie, Hugh; remember Ponse blinked. "Memtok!" that. You and - That other one, The Chief Palace Domestic ar­ Joe?" rived with such speed that one might "Duke." have suspected that he was just out­ " 'Duke.' Although Joe speaks side the door. And so indeed he had highly of your scholarship, not so been -listening in on private con­ highly of its. But let me explain versations of his patron by means, what you mean to me. There are Memtok was certain, were not known other scholars who read Ancient to the Lord Protector ... certain in­ English quite readily. None at pres­ asmuch as Memtok was sti!l breath­ ent in my household, true. Since it ing. Such measures were risky but is not a root language to any im­ he found them indispensable to the portant degree, few study it. Never­ efficient performance of his duties. theless scholars of English could be At worst; it was safer than planting found, be borrowed. But none such a slut in there who was not quite a as yourself. You actually lived then; deaf mute. you can, I am sure, read English as "Memtok, I told you that it was readily as I read Language, you'll be to be taught to speak, read, and write able to translate knowledgeably, Language." without these maddening four and Hugh listened, with eyes downcast, five interpretations of a single pas­ while the Chief Domestic · tried to sage that so disfigure most trans­ protest simultaneously that the order lations from ancient sources, all be­ had never been given (it had not) -cause the scholar doesn't really but nevertheless had been carried know what the ancient author was out (obviously false), all without. talking about. Lack of cultural con­ contradicting the Lord Protector text, I mean. And no doubt you will (impossible to reconcile, inconceiv­ "be able to supply on demand foot­ able to attempt). notes and explanations for things ob- "Garbage," Ponse remarked. "I FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 93 don't know why I don't put you up wait; it interferes with my thinking for adoption. You would look good otherwise." in a coal mine. That pale skin of "Don't you have that now?" yours would be much improved by "No. And I don't think it helps some healthy coal dust." He twitch­ my thinking to be touched up with ed the quirt in his hand and Mem­ a whip. I'm quite used to working tok paled still more. "Very well, let hard without such inducement." it be corrected. It is to spend half of "Memtok, have you been whip­ each day in learning to read and ping it?" write, the other half in translating "No, my uncle. I swear." and in dictating same into a record­ "You would swear if you were er. I should have thought of that be­ caught with cream on your lip. Who fore; writing out a translation takes has been?" too long. Nevertheless I want it to Hugh dared to interrupt. "I'm not be able to read and write; it will complaining, Ponse. But those whips need it for all I have in mind." make me nervous, I'm not used to He turned to Hugh. "Anything !}tern. And I never know who can else you can think of? That you give me orders. Anybody, apparent­ need?" ly. I haven't been able to find out Hugh started to phrase a request my status." ' in the involved indirection which "Hmm - Memtok, where do you presumed nothing, as required by have it in the Family?" protocol mode, rising. The head servant barely conceded that he had not been able to solve onse chopped him off. "Speak that problem. P directly, Hugh. Memtok, close "Let's solve it. We make it a de­ your ears. No ceremony needed in partment head. Mmm. Department Memtok's presence, he is a member of Ancient History. Title: Chief Re­ of my inner family, my nephew in searcher. Senior head of department, spirit if not in the eyes of my senior just below you. Pass the word sister. Spit it out." around. I'm doing this to make clear Hugh noticed that Memtok relax­ just how valuable this servant is to ed and looked as beatific as his me ... and anyone who slows up its vinegar features permitted. "Well, work, even indirectly, is likely to Ponse, I need more room to work. wind up in the stew. I suppose it My cell is about the size of that will really be a one-servant depart­ divan. Smaller." ment but you can fill it out, make "Describe your needs." it look good, by transferring its "Well, I'd like a room with natur­ teachers, and whoever looks out for al light, one with windows, say a its recorder and prepares the stuff third the size of this one. Working for me, a cleaner or two, maybe an tables, book shelves, writing mater­ assistant to keep them straight and ials, a comfortable chair - yes, and bossed- I don't want to take up its access to a toilet without having to valuable time on routine. A messen- 94 IF ger. You know. I'm sure there must worse. The newly assigned status was be dozens of idlers around this house, so ridiculous as to make the whole eating their silly heads off, who below-stairs structure (the whole would look well in the Department world, that is) a mockery. of Ancient History. Now have fetch­ But Memtok was shrewd and ed a lesser whip and a lesser badge. very practical. The bedrock of his Move." philosophy could be summed up in: In moments only Hugh was wear­ You can't fight City Hall. And. his ing a medallion not much smaller basic strategy in applying that phi­ than Memtok's. Ponse took the whip losophy was the pragmatjc wisdom of office and removed something expressed in: When you can't beat from it. "Hugh, I'm not giving you 'em, you join 'em. a charged whip, you don't know­ How could this savage's prepos­ how to use it. If one of your loafers terous promotion be made to appear need spurring, Memtok will be glad both necessary and proper - and a to help; he's expert. Later, when you credit to the Chief Palace Domes­ know how, we'll see. Now. Are you tic? satisfied?" Uncle! The savage wasn't even Hugh decided that it was not the tempered. Nor would he be. At time to ask to be allowed to see Bar­ least not yet, he amended. Later, bara. Not with Memtok present. But possibly- it would make every­ he was beginning to hope that he thing so much more tidy. Memtok could ask soon. had been amazed when Their Char­ He and Memtok were dismissed ity had postponed the obvious, together. Memtok's face showed couldn't understand it. But there it nothing but he did not object when was. Memtok hardly recalled i1is Hugh walked abreast of him. own tempering; his emotions and drives before that time were a thin XIII memory- of someone else. There was certainly no reason for the sav emtok was silent while he led age to have kicked up a fuss about M Hugh back down to servants' it; tempering marked promotion in­ country; he had much to think over. to real living. Memtok looked for­ He was figuring out how to handle ward to at least a half a century this startling development to his own more of activity, power, gracious liv advantage. ing, satisfaction. What stud could This savage's status had troubled possibly claim that? the Chief Domestic from arrival. But there it was. How to make it The trouble was, he didn't fit- and look good? in Memtok's world everything had A Curiosity! That's what the sav­ to fit. Well, now the savage had an age was, a Curiosity. All great lords assigned status. Their Charity had possessed Curiosities; there had been spoken and that was that. But the times when visiting with his equals situation was not improved; it was or near-equals in his own caste that FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 95 he had been somewhat ashamed of of nowhere. From the stars, per­ the fact that his own lord took. no haps. Everybody knew that theJW interest in owning Curiosities. There were men somewhere in the stars. were not even Siamese twins nor a Probably a miracle involved . . • two-headed freak in the whole house­ and the temples were investigatilll hold, not even stuffed. Not even a and any year now this household · flipper-armed dwarf as a clown. would be famous for its unique Cur­ Their Charity was -let's admit it iosity. Yes. A word here, a word ..::.._ too simple in his tastes for his there, a veiled hint- high rank; sometimes Memtok was a little ashamed of him. Spending "Hugh," Memtok said cordially. his time on scrolls and such when "May I call you 'Hugh'?'' he should be upholding the pride of "What? Why, certainly!" the house. "And you must call me 'Mem­ That lord of Hind- What was tok.' Let's stroll a bat and pick out his title? Prince something or other space for your departmental head­ silly. Never mind, he had that big quarters. You would like a sunny cage where studs and sluts lived place, I understand? Perhaps rooms _ and mated with great apes, talked facing on the gardens? And do you the same jabber-it wasn't Lan­ want your personal quarters open­ guage-and you couldn't te11 which ing off your headquarters? Or would was which save that some were hairy you rather have them elsewhere so and some were smooth. There was a that you can get away from it all?" Curiosity worthy of a great house­ The latter, Memtok had already de­ hold! That lord's chief domestic had cided. Roust out both the head gar­ declared by the Uncle that there deners and the studmaster and give were live crossbreeds from the ex­ the savage both their quarters - periment, hidden away where the that would make everyone under­ priests couldn't object. Memtok stand at once just how important doubted that but wasn't certain. It this Curiosity was ... and get both might be true, since it was a never­ of them sore at the savage, too, mentioned fact that despite all of­ which was good. He'd soon realize ficial denial crossbreeds between who was his friend. Memtok,. name­ servants and Ohosen were possible ly, and nobody else. Besides, the - and did happen, even though gardener had been getting a little designated bedwarmers were always uppity, implying that his work didn't sterile. But these rare accidents were really come under the Chief Domes­ never a11owed to see the light of day. tic. A touching up was what he A Curiosity, that was the angle. needed. An untempered who was neverthe­ Hugh said, "Oh, I don't need less a servant executive. A Famous anything fancy. Just a convenient Scholar who had not even been able place to work." to speak Language when he was al­ "Come, come! We want you to most as old as Memtok. A man out have every facility. Not a word, not 96 IF a word. I wish I could get away from it all sometimes. But I can't. Problems, problems, problems, every minute of the day; some people have MEMTOK to have all their thinking done for them. It will be a rea:l treat to have a man of the mind among us. We'll find you cozy personal quarters, plenty of room for you and your valet. 'But separate." Valet? Was there a tern pered young buck around, well housebroken and bid­ dable, who could be depended on to report everything and keep his mouth shut? Suppose he had his sister's eldest son tempered now, would the lad shape up in time to do the job? And would his sister see the wis­ dom in pushing matters and part with the boy now? Or would she squawk? He had great hopes for the boy, as she well knew. Mem­ tok was coldly aware that lie would have to go some day - though not for many years - and he was de­ termined that his heir should suc­ ceed to his high office. But it would take · planning and such planning could never start too soon. If his sister could be made to see it- Memtok intentionally led Hugh through crowded passageways in­ stead of by the direct and private route from Memtok's office to the Lord's apartments; servants · scurried out of the way wherever they went -save one unfortunate who stum­ bled and got tingled for his awk- wardness. - "My!" said Hugh. "This is a big building. " Smaller than Gimbel's, perhaps. Or perhaps not. "Thi s? Wait till you see the Pal-

FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD ace itself -though no doubt it is minds. They're as thoughtless as the falling to rack and min at the mo­ Chosen - not referring to Their ment. under my chief deputy. Hugh, Charity of course; I would never we use only a quarter of the staff criticize my own patron. I mean he;e. There is no formal ente~tain­ Charity in general. You understand.'' mg, just garden parties. And only He winked and gave Hugh a dig in a handful of guests. In the city the the ribs. Chosen are always corning and go­ "I don't know much about the ing. Many is the time I am rooted Chosen," Hugh admitted. "I've hard­ out of bed in the middle ofthe night ly laid eyes on them and I've spoken to open apartments for some lord only to Their Charity.'' and his ladies without a moment's "Well ... keep your eyes open, warning. And there is where organ­ you'll see. But it takes more than a ization and planning count. To be dark skin to make brai:g.s no mat­ able to open the door of a guest ter what they teach in temple. Not wing flat and know-know, mind that I expect you to quote those you, know without even looking­ sentiments nor would I admit it if that the beds are freshly perfumed, you did. But -who do you think refreshments hot and cold waiting, runs this household?" everything spotless, music softly "I don't think I've been here long playing." enough to express opinions.'' "That must take real staff work." "Very shrewd. You could go far if you had ambition. Let me put it "Staff work!" Memtok snorted. this way. If Their Charity goes away, "I wish I could agree. What the household goes on smoothly as it does take is for me myself to in­ ever- or smoother. If I am away, spect every room, every night, no or dare to fall sick - well, I shud­ matter how tired I am, before I go der to think of it.'' He gestured With to bed. Then stay up long enough his whip ahead of them. "They to see that mistakes are corrected, know. You won't find them scurry­ not depend on their lies; They're ing that fast to get out of his way.'' all liars, Hugh. Too much 'Happi­ Hugh changed the subject. "I did ness.' But Their Charity is generous; not understand your remark about a he never cuts down on the ration.'' 'ration of Happiness.' " "Certainly I've found the food "Haven't you been receiving ample. And good.'' yours?" "I didn't say food, I said 'Happi­ "I don't know what it is.'' ness.' I control the food, not Their "Oho! One bullock gets you three Charity - and I don't believe in that it has been issued but never got starving them, not even as punish­ as far as you. Must look into that. ment. A tingle is better. They un­ As to what it is, I'll show you.'' derstand that. One thing you must Memtok led him up a ramp, through always remember, Hugh, is that a door and out onto a balcony. Be­ most servants don't really have low was the servants' main dining 98 IF hall, now crowded with three queues. from kitchen and pantry. The ban­ "This is issue time - studs at a dif­ quet room was beautiful, its fur­ ferent hour, of course. They can nishings lavish, and the feast was have it as drink, in chewing form, sumptuous and endless; Hugh won­ or to smoke. The dosage is the same dered what a meal of the Chosen but some say that smoking it pro­ must be like if their upper servants duces the keenest happiness." ate this way. Memtok used words not yet in He soon found out, in part. Mem­ Hugh's vocabulary. Hugh told him tok was served twice, once from· the so. Memtok said, "Never mind. It same tasty and numerous dishes improves the appetite, steadies the everyone shared, again from another nerves, promotes good health, en­ complete menu. These dishes he sam­ hances all pleasures- and wrecks pled, using separate plates for them, ambition. The trick is to be able to but rarely did more than taste. Of take it, or leave it alone. I never the regular menu he ate sparingly took it regularly even when I was at and sometimes passed up dishes. stud; I had ambition. I take it now He noticed Hugh's glance. "The only on feast days or such - and Lord Protector's dinner. Try any of only in moderation." Memtok smil­ it you like. At your own risk, of ed. "You'll find out tonight." course." "I will?" "What risk?" "Didn't I tell you? Banquet in "Poison, naturally. When a man ybur honor, just after the hour of is over a hundred years old his heir evening prayer." is certain to be impatient. To say Hugh was hardly listening. He nothing of business competitors, po­ was, searching the far queue, trying litical rivals, and subverted friends. to spot Barbara. Go ahead; the taster tries it half an hour before Their Charity- or I emtok sent the Chief Veterin­ - touches it, and we've lost only M arian and the Household En­ one taster this year." aineer as an escort of honor for Hugh decided that his nerve was Hugh. Hugh was mildly embarrassed being tested; he tried a spoonful at this attention from the physician from a dish Memtok had sampled. and surgeon in view of the helpless "Like it?" asked Memtok. posture he had been in the -last time "Seems a bit greasy to me." be had seen the man. But the veter­ "Hear that, Gnou? Our new cous- inarian seemed to see nothing odd, in is a man of taste. Greasy. And be was most cordial. someday you'll be fried in your own Memtok headed the long table grease, I fear. The truth is, Hugh, with Hugh on his right. Some twenty that we eat better than the Chosen department heads were seated; there do ... although courses are served was at least one lower servant stand­ more elaborately and beautifully in ing behind each guest and endless the Grand Hall, of course, of course. streams of them coming in and out But I am a gourmet who appreciates PARNHAM'S FREEHOLD " artistry in food; Their Charity real­ "Really?" said the master. ly doesn't care what it is as long as Hugh decided to drop that shovel it doesn't squeal when he bites it. and pick up a wider one. In his con~ In fact, if the sauces are too elabor­ versation earlier that day he had ate, the spices too exotic, he'll send learned that Memtok knew a great it back with a demand for a plain deal about many things -but al­ slice of roast, a hunk of plain bread, most nothing about such trivia as and a pitcher of milk. True, Gnou?" history, geography, and other mat­ "You have said it." ters outside the household. And he "And frustrating." had learned in his Language lessons "Very," admitted the chef. that a servant who could read and "So Cousin Gnou's best cooks write was rare, even among execu­ work for us. and the Chosen struggle tive servants, unless the skill was along with ones whose chief skill lies necessary to his duties. Memtok had in getting a bird's skin back on with­ told him proudly that he had peti­ out ruffling the feathers. And now, tioned the opportunity while he was Cou,;in Hu·•h, if you will excuse me still at stud and had labored at it a moment, I must lift up to the to the vast amusement of the other Grand Hall and attempt by proper studs. "But I had my eyes on the ceremony to make Cousin Gncn's future," he had told Hugh. "I could piece de resistance seem better than have had at least five more years, it is. Hugh, don't believe what they probably ten, at stud. But as soon tell you about me while I'm gone­ as I could read, I petitioned to be regrettably it's all true." He exposed tempered. So I had the la~t laugh­ his teeth in what must have been a for where are they now?" smile and left. Hugh decided that the very widest shovel was needed; a big lie was l't.. ·Jo one spoke for a while. Final- always easier to sell than a little 1 ~ !y someone- Hugh thought it one. "The title is unbroken for over was the transportation master but three thousand years in House Farn­ he had met too many too fast - ham. The line remained intact by said. "Chief Researcher, what house­ direct intervention of the Uncle right hold were you with before you were th-rough the Turmoil and the Change. adopted here, may one ask?" Because of its Divine ori~in its hold­ "One may ask. House of Farn­ er always speaks to the Proprietor ham. Freeholder Extraordinary." as an equal, 'thee' and 'thou.'" Hugh "So. I am forced to admit that drew himself up proudly. "And 1 the title of your Chosen is new to was factotum-in-chief of Lord Farn­ me .. A new title, perhaps?" ham. I did everything for him." "Very old," Hugh answered. "Ex­ "A noble house indeed. But 'fac­ tremely ancient and granted directly totum-in-chief'? We don't use that by Uncle the Mighty, blessed be His designation here. Is it a domestic?" Name. The rank is roughly that of "Yes and no. The chief domestic king, but senior to it." W!Drks under the factotum." 100 IF The man almost gasped. "And only one of my blood line to live a 8() 1 ~' Hugh went on, "do all servant very long time." eucutives, domestic or not - busi­ He was saved from further eva­ ness, political, agrarian. everything. sions to cover his whoppers by the The responsibility is very wearing." return of Memtok. Everyone stood "So I should imagine!" up. Hugh didn't notice in time, so he "It is. 1 was growing old and my remained seated and brazened it out. health was failing- I suffered a If Mcmtok resented it, he did not temporary paralysis of my lower let it show. He clapped Hugh on the limbs. Truthfully I never liked so shoulder as he sat down.. "No doubt much responsibility, I am a scholar they've told you how I eat my own by nature. So I petitioned to be young?" adopted and here I am - scholar to "I was given the impression of a a Chosen of similar scholarly tastes happy family presided over by a be­ ... a fitting occupation." loved uncle." Hugh then realized that he had "Liars, all of them. Well, I'm stretched one item too far; the veter­ through for the evening- until inarian had looked up with interest. some emergency comes up. Their "This paralysis. I noted no signs." Charity knows that we are welcoming (Damn it, doctors never cared you; he commanded me not to re­ anything about anything but their turn to the Grand Hall. So now we own specialty!) "It came on me sud­ can relax and be merry." The Chief denly one morning," Hugh said. Domestic tapped his goblet with a smoothly, "and I haven't been trou­ spoon. "Cousins and nephews, a bled by it since. But to a man of my toast to our newest cousin. Possibly years, a warning to be heeded." you heard what 1 said -the Lord "And what are your years? Pro­ Protector is pleased at our modest fessional interest, of course. One effort to make Cousin Hugh feel at may ask?" home in Their family. But I am sure that you already guessed that ... ugh tried to make the snub as since one cannot miss that Cousin H direct as some he had heard Hugh carries, not a least whip, but a Memtok pass out. "One may not. lesser whip exactly like mine!" Mem­ I'll let you know when I need your tok smiled archly. "Let us all trust services. But," he added, to sooth that he will never need to use it." the smart a little, "It would be fair Loud applause greeted the boss's to say that I was born some years brilliant sally. He went on solemnly, earlier than was Their Charity." ·~You all know that not even my "Astonishing. From your physical chief deputy carries such authority, condition - quite good, I thought­ much less the ordinary department I would have judged you to be no head ... and from that I am sure more than sixty, at the most." you will conclude that a hint from "Blood will tell," Hugh said smug­ Cousin Hugh, Chief Researcher and ly. "As you know best. I am not the Aide in Scholarship to Their Charity FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 101 by direct apointment - a hint from Hugh looked down at her from him is an order from me -so don't about a hundred feet elevation and let me make it a direct order. blinked. "Who she?" "And now the first toast! All "Your bedwarmer. Didn't I say?" cousins together and let Happiness "But-" flow freely ... so let the junior "It's quite all right. Yes, yes, I among us give the first toast. Who know you are technically a stud. claims it, who claims it?" But you can't harm her, I assure The party got rowdy. Early, Hugh you; this is what, she is for. No noted that Memtok drank very spar­ danger. Not even altered. A nat­ ingly. He remembered the warning ural freemartin, this one." and tried to emulate him. But it was Hugh turned around to discuss impossible. The Chief Domestic it, wheeling slowly because of his could drop out of any toast, mere­ great width and high sail area. But ly raise his glass, but Hugh as guest Memtok was gone. Hugh found that of honor felt compelled to drink he could just make it to the bed. them all. "Move over, Kitten," he muttered, and fell asleep. ome unknown time later Mem­ He overslept but the kitten was S tok led him back to his new­ still there; she had his breakfast ly acquired and luxurious quarters. waiting. He looked at her with un­ Hugh felt drunk but not unsteady ease - not because he had a hang­ -it was just that the floor was so over; he did not. Apparently Hap­ far away. He felt illuminated, pos­ piness did not exact such payments sessed of the wisdom of the ages, - and was thereby that much more insidious. He felt physically strona, floating on silvery clouds, and soak­ mentally alert, and morally straight ed through with angelic happiness. -and very hungry. But this teen­ He still had no idea what was in ager was an embarrassment. Happiness drinks (he had drunk it "What's your name, kitten?" only, not smoked or chewed it). Al­ "May it please them, this one's cohol? Maybe. Betel nut? Mush­ name is of such little importance rooms? Probably. Marijuana? It that whatever they please to caD seemed certain. He must remember it will be a boon." to write 'down the form~la while it "Cut it, cut it! Use equals was fresh in his mind. This was what speech." Grace should have had! He must­ "I don't really have a name, sir, Bu.t of course, she did have it now. not yet. Mostly they just say, 'Hey, How very nice! Poor old Grace. He you.'" had never understood her - all she "All right, I'll call you 'Kitten.' needed was a little Happiness. Does that suit you? You look like Memtok took him into his bed­ a kitten." room. Sleeping across the foot of She dimpled. "Yes. sir. It's ever his lovely new bed was a female 10 much nicer than 'Hey, you.' " creature, blonde and cuddly. • All right, your name is 'Kitten' 102 IF and tell everybody that it is and in quarters. I like to go in there and don't answer to 'Hey, you.' Tell them look at the babie!i." She looked wist­ that is official because the Chief ful. "It must be nice." Researcher says so and if anybody "Uh, yes. Can you take a mes­ doubts it, tell them to check with sage to her?" the Chief Domestic. If they · dare." Kitten looked doubtful. "I don't "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Kitten, know. She might not understand. Kitten, Kitten," she repeated as if She's a savage, you know. She can't memorizing it, then giggled. talk very well." "Pretty!" "Mmm. Damn. No, maybe it's a "Good. Is that my breakfast?'' help. Wait a moment." His quarters "Yes, sir." had been equipped with· a desk; he He ate in bed, offering her bits, went to it, got one of those extra­ and discovered that she evidently ordinary pens -they didn't stain el:pected to be fed, or at least al­ and didn't wear out and appeared lowed to eat. There was enough for to be solid plastic, no ink - found four; between them they ate enough a piece of paper. Hastily he wrote a for three. Then he learned that she note, asking Barbara about herself expected to assist him in the bath­ and the twins, assuring her of his room; he put a stop to that. own welfare and his odd promotion, telling her that soon, somehow, he ater, ready to get hard at work would see her - be patient, dear L at his assigned duties, he said - and assuring her of his love. to her, "What do you do now?" He added a P.S. "The bearer of "I go back to sluts' quarters, sir, this note is 'Kitten' - if the bearer as soon as you release me. But I is short, blonde, busty, and about come back at bedtime -whatever fourteen. She is my bedwarmer - time you say." and that's all she is and you've got He was about to tell her that an evil mind, wench! I'm going to once was a joke and that she was hang onto her because she is a way charming and that he almost re­ -the only way, it would appear­ gretted passing out the night before for me to communicate with you. but that he did not require her I'll try to write every day, I'll darn services on any future - He stop­ well expect a note from you every ped, An idea had hit him. "Look. day. If you can. And if anybody Do you know a tall slut named Bar­ does anything you don't like. tell bara? Oh, this much taller than you me and I'll send you his head on a are, at least. She was adopted some­ platter. I think. Things are looking thing over two weeks ago and she up. Plenty of paper and a pen here­ had babies, twin boys, about a week with. Love, love, love- H. ago." "PPS- go easy .on 'Happiness.' "Oh, yes, sir. The savage." It's habit-forming." "That's the one. Do you know He gave the girl the note and writ­ where she is? Can you go to her?" ing materials. "You know the Chief "Oh, yes, sir. She's still in lying- Domestic by sight?" FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 103 "Oh, yes, sir. I've warmed his that this lesser whip is what he'll bed. Twice." get if he touches you. Tell him to "Really? I'm amazed." check with the Chief Domestic if "Why, sir?" he doesn't think I mean it. Under­ "Well, I didn't think he would stand me?" be interested." "Yes, sir." She looked smugly "You mean because he's tem­ happy. pered? Oh, but several of the ex­ Too smug, Hugh decided. "But ecutives like to have a bedwarmer you stay out of trouble. Don't do anyhmy. I like it better than being anything to deserve a tingle -or I sent upstairs; it's less trouble and might turn you over to the Chief you get lots more sleep. The Chief Domestic for a real tingling, the sort Domestic doesn't usually send for a he is famous for. But as long as you bedwarmer, though. It's just that he are working for me, don't allow checks us and teaches us manners anyone but him to tingle you . . • before we are allowed to serve up­ and I solemnly promise that my stairs." She added, "You see, he whip will never touch you. Now git knows all about it; he used to be a and deliver that. I'll see you to­ stud, you know." She looked at night, say about two hours after Hugh with innocent curiosity that evening prayer. Or come earlier if seemed capable of staring through you are sleepy and go to bed." Must his robe. "Is it true what they say remember to have a little bed put about you? May you ask?" in here for her, he reminded himself. "Uh ... one may not." "I'm sorry, sir." She looked itten touched her forehead and crushed. "I didn't mean any harm. K left. Hugh went to his office But some of the sluts are such gos­ and spent a happy day learning the sips." She glanced fearfully at his alphabet and dictating three articles whip, looked away and dropped her from the Britannica. He found his eyes. vocabulary utterly inadequate, so he "Kitten." sent for one of his teachers and used "Yes, sir." the man as a walking dictionary. "See this whip?" Even so, he found it necessary to "Uh, yessir!" amplify and explain almost end­ "You will never, never, never feel lessly; concepts had changed. my whip. That's a promise. Never. Kitten went straight to the Chief We're friends." Domestic's office, made her report, Her face lit up and she looked turned the note and writing mater­ angelically beautiful instead of mere­ ials over to him. Memtok was more ly pretty. "Oh, thank you, sir!" than a little annoyed that he held "And another thing. The only in his hand what might he important whip you need fear from now on is evidence - and no way to read it. the Chief Domestic's. So stay out It did occur to him that that other of his way. Anyone else- any one- Duke? Some such - might 'least whip' -you tell him. or her, possibly be able to read these hen 104 Ill' scratches. But not likely, of course, received (and am receiving) Is fan­ tastically good. I started to labor, and even under tingiing there would was given something to drink, never be no certainty that Duke would hurt again at all although I remem­ ber all details of having two babies translate honestly, and no way· to --as If it had happened to somebody else. So trouble free and actually check on him. pleasant that I'd be willing to do It Asking Joe, of course, never every day and twice on Sundays. And would, If the rewards were as nice as never crossed his mind. Nor did Uttle Hugh and Karl Joseph. asking Their Charity's new bed­ As for the rest since then, boring except for our fine boys, but I'm warmer. But the impasse did have learning the language as fast as I one intriguing aspect. Was it pos­ oan. And somebody should tell the Borden company about me--which sible that this savage slut actually Is good, as our scamps are greedy could read? And perhaps even essay eaters. I'm even able to help out the girl in the next bed who is rRther to write a reply? short on milk. Just call me Elsie. He stuck the note in his copier, I'll be patient. I'm not the least surprised at your new honors; I ex­ gave it back to the girl. "All right, pect you'll be bossing the place In a your name is Kitten. And do exactly month. I have confidence In my man. My husband. Such a beautiful as he tells you about not letting word- yourself be tingled - and be sure to As for Kitten, I don't believe a word of your Boy Scout assPrtions, gossip about it; I want it known all my lecherous darling; your record shows that you take Instant advan­ over. But get this - " He gave Kit­ tage of Innocent young girls. And ten the gentlest of reminders on her she's awfully cute. Seriously, dearest, I know how left calf; she jumped. "This whip is noble you are about such things and waiting for you, if you make any I didn't have an evil-minded thought. But I would not blame you if your mistakes." nobility slipped a little-especially "This one hears and obeys!" as I've picked up enough words to be aware of her odd category in this Hugh returned to his flat from the strange place. I mean, Kitten is not executives dining room rather late; vulnerable and can't go set. If you did slip, I would not be jealous­ be had sat around and gossiped. not much, anyhow-but I would not want It to become a habit. Not to the He found Kitten asleep in his bed exclusion of me, at least; my hor­ and remembered only then that he mones seem to be rearranging them­ selves very rapidly and I'm not that bad forgotten to ask for another noble. But I don't want you to get bed for her. rid of her when she Is our only way of cmrununlcatlng. Be nice to her; She had clutched in her hand a she's a nice kid. But you would any­ folded paper. Gently he worked it way, you're always nice to every­ one. out with9ut waking her: I wlll write everyday. And I wlll cry In my pillow and be worried to Darling. death any day I don't herur from you. How utterly wonderful to see your handwriting! Almost as good as My love focever and forever, touching your hand. (But not quite.) B. I knew from Joe that you were safe. hadu't heard about your promotion. P.S. The smear on the bottom Is lit­ didn't know for sure that you knew tle Hugh's right footprint. about the twins. First about them - They are thriving. they both look like their papa, both have his angelic dis­ Hugh kissed the letter, then got position. Six pounds each at birth Is my guess, but, although they were quickly into bed, clutching it. Kit­ weighed. weights here mean nothing ten did not wake. to me. Me? I'm a prize cow, dearest. No trouble at all - and the care I Hugh slept soundly. FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 105 XIV No matter, it was only of intel­ lectual interest; Hugh knew neither ugh found learning to read and Arabic, French nor Swahili. He had H write Language not difficult. learned a little Latin and less Ger­ Spelling was phonetic, with a sign man in high school, and had strug­ for every sound. There were no gled to learn Russian in his later silent letters and never any ques­ years when it appeared that, win tion about spelling or pronunciation. or lose, Russian might be useful. He Accent was always on th~t penultima was not equipped to study the roots unless marked; the system was as of language, he was merely curious. free from traps as Esperanto. He Nor did he dare spend much time found that he could sound out any on it. He wanted to please Their word as soon as he had learned the Charity. butter him up thoroughly 47-Ietter alphabet, and that, with a so that he might, eventually, petition little thought, he coqld spell any the boon of seeing Barbara- and word he could pronounce. that meant a flood of translated ar­ Writing and printing were alike, ticles. Hugh consistently worked both cursive, and a printed page ve~ry hard at it. looked like one written by a skilled The second day after his elev... penman. He was not surprised to tion, Hugh asked for Duke and find that the writing-printing looked Memtok promptly sent for him. like Arabic and a search in the Brit­ Duke was rather worn down - there annica confirmed that the alphabet were lines in his face - but he must have derived (with many spoke Language. Duke spoke it not changes) from Arabic of his time. as well as his father did and ap­ Half a dozen letters bad not changed; parently had tangled with his teach­ some others were similar although en more than Hugh had; his mood changed. But there were many new seemed to oscillate between utter letters to cover the expansion into hopelessness and reckless rebellion, a system of one sound, one sign­ and he was limping badly on his plus letters for sounds XXth cen­ left leg. tury Arabic had never used. Care­ · Memtok made no objection to ful search in the Britannica con­ transferring Duke to the Department vinced him that Arabic, French and of Ancient History. "Glad to get rid Swahili were the main roots of of him. He's too monstrous big for Language, plus Uncle alone knew stud, yet he doesn't seem to be good what else. But he could not confirm for anything else. Certainly, put him this. An unabridged dictionary ef to work. I can't bear to see a serv­ language, one with derivations, such ant lying around, eating his head off, as he had been used to for English, and doing nothing." apparently did not exist - and his So Hugh took him along. Duke teachers seemed convinced that Lan­ looked over Hugh's private apart­ guage had always been just as they ment and said, "Christ! You certain­ knew it. The concept of change ly managed to come up smelling like baffled them. a rose. How come?" 106 U' ugh explained the situation. "So ment, a pleasant place to work-· H what I want you to do is to easy work, really! But I can no more translate legal articles and related get you into women's quarters, or subjects -whatever you can do have Grace sent here, than I can go best. We don't have to start at 'A' to the Moon. They have harem rules and work through to 'Z'- alpha­ here, as you know." betical by our alphabet means noth­ "And you are content to sit here ing. I'm going to work up a subject and be a trained seal for that ape, index instead. But that's not your and neglect Mother? Count me out!" worry. You'll just sit and dictate "Duke, I won't argue. i'll assign translations into a recorder cone." you a room to work .in and send you Duke shoved his fists together and a volume of the Britannica each day. looked stubborn. "You can stuff it." Then it's up to you. If you won't "Duke, don't take that attitude. work, I'll try to keep Memtok from This is an opportunity." knowing it. But I rather think he has "For you, maybe. What are you spies all over the place." doing about Mother?" Hugh let it go at that. At first he "Mat can I do? I'm not allowed got no help out of Duke. Hugh ig­ to see her, neither are you. You nored it and pretended that Duke know that. But Joe assures me that was working. But in time boredom she is not only comfortable and weD worked where argument had failed; treated, but happy." · Duke could not stand to be shut up "So he says. Or so you say he in a featureless room with nothing says. I want to see it myself. I damn to do. He was not locked up but he well insist on it." did not venture out much because "Very well, insist on it. Go see there was always the chance that he Memtok about it. But I must warn might run into Memtok, or some you, I can't protect you from him." other whip-carrying upper servant "Rats. I know what that slimy who might want to know where he little bastard would say - and what was going, what he was doing, and he would be likely to do." Duke why. Servants were expected to look scowled and rubbed his injured leg. busy even if they weren't from "It's up to you to arrange it. You've morning prayer to evening prayer. got such an unholy drag around Duke began to produce transla­ here, the least you can do with it is tions and, with them, a complaint to use it to protect Mother." that he was short on vocabulary. "Duke, I don't have that sort of Hugh made inquiries and was able drag. I'm being pampered for the to have assigned to him a tempered same reason a race horse is pam­ clerk who had worked as a stenog­ pered . . . and I have just as little rapher in Their Charity's many legal control over it as a race horse has affairs. over when and how he will race. But he rarely saw Duke. It seemed But I can cut you in on some pam­ to be the only way they could stay pering if you cooperate. Decent out of arguments. Duke's output quarters, immunity from mistreat- speeded up after the first week but FARNHAM'S FREBHOLD IG7 fell off in quality- Duke had dis­ he could have all he wanted. But covered the sovereign power of Hugh noted that Memtok was not "Happiness." the only boss who used the stuff Hugh considered warning Duke most abstemiously. A man did not about the drug, decided against it. fight his way up in the servants' If it kept Duke contented in captiv­ hierarchy by dulling himself with ity, who was he to deny him this drugs - but sometimes a servant did anoJyne? The poor quality of Duke's get high up, then skidded all the way translations, those Hugh had to the bottom, unable to stand pros­ checked, did not worry Hugh; Their perity in the form of an unrationed Chnrity had no way to judge­ supply of "Happiness." Hugh never unless Joe rendered an opinion, learned what became of them. which seemed unlikely. He himself Hugh could even keep a bottle \"a~ not trying too hard to turn out in his rooms - and that solved the good translation. "Not good, but problem of Kitten. Wednesday" was the principle he Hugh had decided not to ask for used: Give the boss lucid copy in a separate bed for Kitten; he did not great quantity- and leave out the want to rub Memtok's nose in the hard parts. fact that he was using the child only Besides, Hugh had found that a as a go-between to women's quar­ couple of drinks of "Happiness" at ters. Instead he required the girl to dinner topped the day off nicely. make up a bed each night on the It allowed him to read Barbara's comfortable divan in his living room. daily letter in a warm glow, write a Kitten was very hurt by this. By cheerful answer for Kitten to carry now she was sure that Hugh could back the next morning, then to bed make better use of a bedwarmer and and sound sleep. she regarded it as rebuke to her in her honorable capacity as comfort ut Hugh did not use much of it; and solace- and it scared her. If B he was afraid of the stuff. her master did not like her, she Alcohol, he reasoned, had the ad­ might lose the best job she had ever vantage of being a poison. It gave been assigned. (She did not dare fair warning by exacting hangovers report to Memtok that Hugh had no if one started drinking heavily. But use for her as a bedwarmer; she this stuff, as Memtok had said, ex­ gave full reports on every point but acted no such price; it merely turned that.) anxiety, depression, worry, boredom, She wept. any unpleasant emotion, into an un­ She could not have done better; critical happy glow. Hugh wondered Hugh Farnham had been a sucker if it ·was. principally methyl mepro­ for women's tears all his life. He bamate? But he knew little chemistry took her on his knee and consoled and that little was two thousand her, and explained that he liked her years behind the times. very much (true), that it was a sad, As a member of the executive sad thing but he was too old prop­ servants' mess he was not rationed; erly to appreciate a female bedmate 108 IF (a lie), and that he slept badly and anything, Iiot even a name, until was disturbed by having anyone in Hugh gave her one. Under his kind­ bed with him (a half-truth) - and ness she was beginning to be a per­ that he was entirely satisfied with son, but it was still the faintest her and wanted her to go on working flicker. Anything could blow it out. for him. "Now wipe your eyes and She would no more have risked have a drink of this." stealing from him than she would He knew that she used the stuff. have risked killing him. She chewed her ration like bubble Hugh, half by intent, encouraged gum -chewing gum it was in fact; her confidence in other ways. She the powder was added to chicle and was a trained bath girl, Japanese most of the servants preferred it that style; he gave in and' let her scrub way because they could go dreamily his back and handle the nozzles for through the day, chewing it while his bath, dress him, and take care of they worked. Kitten passed her his clothes. She was a masseuse, empty days chewing it and chewed too. He sometimes found it pleasant the played-out cud in Hugh's quar­ to have his head and neck rubbed ters after she learned he did not after a day spent poring over the mind. So he did not hesitate to give fine print in the encyclopedia or her a drink of it. following the lines in a scroll read­ Kitten went happily to bed and er - and she was pathetically anx­ right to sleep that night, no longer ious to do anything to make herself worried that her master might get necessary to him. rid of her. That set a precedent. "Kitten, what do you do in the Each evening, about half an hour daytime?" before Hugh wanted the lights out, "Why, nothing mostly. Sluts of he would give her a short drink of my subcaste mostly don't have to it. work if they have night duty. Since I'm having night duty every night or awhile he kept track · of the I'm allowed to stay in the sleep room F level in the bottle. Kitten was until midday. So I do, even if I'm often in his quarters when he was not sleepy, because the slutmaster not, he knew how very much she is likely to put one to work if he enjoyed it, and there were no locks catches one just wandering around. in his quarters. His rank entitled him Afternoons - well, mostly I try to to locks but he did not know this; stay out of sight. That's best. Safest." Memtok had carefully not told him. "I see. Well, you can hide out in He quit bothering when he was here if you like. Or can you do convinced that Kitten was not snitch­ that?" ing it. In fact, Kitten would have Her face lit up. "If you give me been terrified at the thought of a pass, I can." stealing from her master. Her ego "All right, I will. You can watch was barely big enough for a timid television ~ no, it's not on at that mouse; she was less than nothing hour. Mmm, you don't know how to and knew it and had never owned read. Or do you?" FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 109 "'Oh, no, sir! I wouldn't dare peti­ t played every cwn!n_g in the tion." I servants' main hall, from eve­ "Hmm." Hugh was aware that ning prayer until lights-out, to a permission to learn to read could not packed house, and there were out­ be granted even by Memtok; it re­ lets in the apartments of executive quired Their Charity's permission servants. Hugh hac! watched it a and was granted only after investi­ number of evenings, expecting to gation of the necessity. Furthermore, gain insight into this strange society anything he did that was out of line he must learn to live in. jeopardized his thin chances of re­ It took him four evenings to de­ union with Barbara. cide that one might as well try to But - damn it, a man bad to be study the United States he had a man! "There are plenty of scrolls known by watching Gunsmoke. It in here and a reader I don't use in was the most blatant of melodrama, the daytime. Do you want to learn?" with acting as stylized as Chinese "Uncle protect usl" theater, and the favorite plot "Don't swear. If you want to seemed to be that of the faithful learn - and can keep your pretty servant who dies gloriously that his little mouth shut about it, I'll teash lord may live. you. Don't look so damned scared! The only good thing Hugh could· You don't have to decide now. Tell see about it was that it had no com­ me later. Just don't talk about it. To mercials- and that was an acci­ anyone." dental virtue: Servants had no mon­ Kitten did not. That made two ey to spend. matters which she did not report to But it was only second in impor­ the Chief Domestic. It scared her tance to Happiness in the morale of not to report it, but she had a re­ life below stairs. Kitten loved it. flex for self-preservation and felt She would watch it, snapping her without knowing why that to report gum monotonously, and sometimes this would endanger her happy set­ suppressing squeals of excitement, up. as Hugh read- then sigh happily Kitten became substitute family when the program ended, accept life for Hugh. She sent him to work her little drink of Happiness with cheerful, greeted him with a smile profuse thanks and a touch of her when he came back, talked if he forehead, and go quietly to sleep wanted to talk and never spoke un­ when told to. Hugh sometimes went less spoken to. Most evenings she on reading. curled up in front of the television He read a great deal - every -Hugh thought of it as "the tele­ evening (unless Memtok stopped in vision" and called it by an equiva­ to visit) and half of every day. He lent word in Language, and it was begrudged the time he spent trans­ in fact closed-circuit television un­ lating for Their Charity but never der principles not known to him, in neglected it; it was the hopeful key color, in three dimensions, and with­ to better things. He had found It out lines. necessacy to do research into mod- no IF ern culture if he was to translate dated 703 B.C. (Before the Great matters of ancient history intelligi­ Change), he still had trouble match­ bly. The Summer Palace had a fair ing the world he had known with library. He was given access to it the "history" set forth in these when he claimed the necessity for scrolls. his work- Memtok arranged it. But his true purpose was not ~he war itself he didn't find translation but to try to understand ~ hard to believe. He had exper­ what, in the name of all that was ienced only a worm's-eye view of holy, had happened to his world to the first few hours but what the produce this world. scrolls related matched· well enough So he usually had a scroll in the the possibilities: a missile and bomb reader, either in his office, or in holocaust that had escalated in its his living room. The scroll system first minutes into "brilliant first of printing he found admirable; it strike" and "massive retaliation" and mechanized the oldest form of book smeared cities from Peiping to Chi­ into a system far more efficient than cago, Toronto to Smolensk, fire bound leaves and boards- drop storms that had done ten times the the double cylinder into the reader, damage the bombs did, nerve gas flip it on, and hold still. The letters and other poisons that had picked raced across in front of his eyes up where fire left off, plagues that like letters chasing their way around were incubating when the shocked the Times building- several hun­ survivors were picking themselves dred feet at a whack, to the end up and beginning to hope- plagues of the scroll. Then the scroll flipped that did not stop, diseases that were over and chased back the following going strong when fallout was no line, which was printed upside down longer deadly. to the one just scanned. Yes, he could believe that. The The eye wasted no time flipping bright boys had made it possible. back and forth at a stacked column And the dull boys they worked for of lines. By a slight pressure the had not only never managed to gadget speeded up to whatever the make the possibility unlikely but had brain could accept. As Hugh got never really believed it when the used to the phonetics he acquired a bright boys delivered what the dull speed faster than he had ever man­ boys had ordered. aged in English. Not, he reminded himself. that he But he did not find what he was had ever believed in "Better red looking for. than dead"- or believed in it now. Somewhere in the past the dis­ The aggression had been one-sided tinctions between fact, fiction, his­ as hell. He did not regret a single tory and religious writings seemed megaton of the "massive retalia­ to have been rubbed out. Even when tion." he got it clear that the East-West But there it was. The scrolls said War that had bounced him and his that it had killed off the whole out of their own century was now northern world. FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 111 But how about the rest of it? It of Asia except India, could kill off says here that the United States, at most whites and almost all Chinese. the time of the war, held its black But what had happened to the white population as slaves. Somebody had minority in South America, the chopped out a century there. On whites of the Union ef South Africa, pur!Jose? Or was it honest confusion and all the Australians and New and almost no records? There had Zealanders? been, he knew, a great bookburning Search as he would, Hugh could for two centuries during the Tur­ not find out. All that seemed cer­ moil, and even after the Change. tain was that the Chosen were all Was it lost history, like Crete? Or equipped with built-in sunburns did the priests like it better this whereas servants were palefaces - way? and usually small. Hugh and his son And since when were the Chinese towered over the other servants. classed as "white" and the Hindus Contrariwise, the few dozen Chosen classed as "black"? Yes, yes, purely he had seen were big men. on skin color Chinese and Japanese If the present day whites were de­ were as light as the average "white" scended from Australians, mostly­ of his time, and Hindus were cer­ No, couldn't be. Aussies had not tainly as dark as most Africans. But been runts. And those "Expeditions it was not the accepted anthropo­ of Mercy"- were they slave raids? logical ordering, reflected in the vul­ Or pogroms? Or both? Or, literally, gar terms "white" and "colored" in as the scrQIIs said, rescue missions his day. for survivors? Of course, if all they meant was The Bookburnings might account skin shade - and apparently that for these discrepancies. It wasn't was what they did mean -he clear to Hugh whether all books had couldn't argue. But the rest of the been put to the torch, or possibly story maintained that the whites, technical books had been spared - with their evil ways, killed each for it was clear that the Chosen had other off, destroyed each other al­ technology superior in all the ways most to the last man ... leaving the that he had seen to that of his time; innocent, charitable, merciful dark it seemed unlikely that they had race- beloved by Uncle the started from scratch and gone still Mighty - to inherit the Earth. farther. The few white survivors, spared Or was it unlikely? All the science by Uncle's. mercy, had been succored and technology of his own time that and cherished as children and now had amounted to a damn had been agajn were waxing numerous under less than five_ hundred years old, the benevolent guidance of the most of it less than a hundred, and Chosen. So it read. the most amazing parts not more than a generation old. Could the H "!gh could see that a war world have gone back to the dark which had smeared all of ages, then pulled out of it and more, NNth America, all of Europe, an in a span of two thousand years? 112 IF Of course it could! he thought. by the scrolls, he found almost u Either way, the Koran was the puzzling. H~ was beginning to get only book officially exempt from a picture of a complex culture, the torch during many years of the stable, even static. High technology, Turmoil- and Hugh harbored a few innovations, smooth, efficient suspicion that the Koran had not -and decadent. Church and State been exempt either. He had owned were one - "One Tongue, One an English translation of the Koran, King, One People, One God." The had read it with deep interest sev­ Lord Proprietor was both sovereign eral times. and supreme priest and owned ev­ He wished now that he had put erything under Uncle's. grant, and it into the shelter, for the Koran as the Lords Protector such as Ponse he now read it in "Language" did were merely his bishops and held not match his memory. For one only f.iefs. Yet there were plenty of thing, he had thought that Mahomet private citizens (Chosen, of course was a redheaded Arab. This "Kor­ - a white was not a person), pri­ an" mentioned his skin color re­ vate shopkeepers, landowners, pro­ peatedly, as black. And he was sure fessional men, etc. A setup for an that the Koran was free of racism, absolute totalitarian communism, that was one of many things he had yet streaked through and through like about it. This "improved" ver­ with what appeared to be private sion was rabid with it. enterprise. Hell, there were even Furthermore, this Koran had a corporations if he understood what new testament with a martyred he was reading. Messiah- or "prophet" might he a better word. He had taught and he he most interesting point to had been hanged for it - religious T Hugh (aside from the dismal scrolls were all marked with a gal­ fact that his own status was fixed lows. by law and custom at zero) was the Hugh did not object to a new inheritance system. Family was ev­ testament. There had been plenty erything, yet marriage was almost of time for a new revelation and nothing- present but not impor­ religions usually had them, as natur­ tant. Descent was always through allv as a cat has kittens. What he the female line - but power was oh)ccted to was some revisionist exercised by males. (or many) working over the words This confused Hugh until it sud­ of the first prophet, apparently (it denly all fell into place. Ponse was seemed to him) to make them fit Lord Protector because he was eld­ this new hook. That wasn't fair, that est son of an eldest daughter­ was cheating. whose oldest brother had he('n lord Hugh gave UP trying to sort facts protector of this fief before Ponse. from fables. Perhaps old Ponse Ponse's heir therefore was hi~ oldest would feel mellow enough to dis­ sister's oldest son. Descent of title cuss it someday. went down through mother and The social organization, as shown endlessly with secular power vested FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 113 in the oldest brother of each of Hugh kept expecting Their Char­ these female heirs. It did not mat­ ity to send for him. But two months ter who Ponse's fatner was and it passed and he did not, and Hugh mattered even less what sons he was beginning to fret that he would bad. None of them could inherit, no never have a chance to ask to see matter what. Ponse inherited from Barbara. Apparently Ponse had no his mother's brother; his heir was interest in him as long as he kept his sister's son. on grinding out translations. Trans­ Hugh could see that, under this lating the Britannica looked to Hugh system, marriage would never be like a job for several lifetimes; he important- and bastardy might be resolved to stir things up, so he sent a concept so abstract as to be un­ one day's batch with a letter to recognized- but family would be Their Charity. more important than ever. Women (of the Chosen) could never be week later the Lord Protector downgraded under it. They were A sent for him. Memtok came more important than males even for Hugh, dancing with impatience though they ruled through deputies, but insisting that Hugh at least wash their brothers. And the religion rec­ his armpits, rub himself with deo­ ognized this; the One God, Uncle dorant cream and put on a clean the Mighty, had an elder sister, the robe. Eternal Mamaloi ... so sacred that The Lord Protector did not seem she was not prayed to and her name to care how Hugh smelled. He let was never used in cursing. She was him stand several minutes while he never mentioned. She was just did something else. Hugh stood in there, the Eternal Female Principle silence ... although Grace was that gave it all life and being. present. She was lounging on a di­ Hugh had a feeling that he had van, playing with cats and chewing read about this sort of matrilineal gum. She glanced at Hugh, then ig­ descent before, uncle to nephew nored him, save that her face took through the female line, and he on a secret smile that Hugh knew searched the Britannica for it. Then too well - he called it "canary that he was surprised to discover that the ate the cat." setup, or features of it, had pre­ Dr. - Livingstone - I - Presume vailed at one time or another in ev­ greeted Hugh, jumping down from ery continent and most cultures. the divan, coming over and rubbing The Great Change had bei!n against his ankles. Hugh knew that when Mamaloi had at last suceed­ he should ignore it, wait for the lord ed- working indirectly, as always to recognize his presence -but this -" in uniting all Her children under cat had been his friend a long time; one roof and placing their Uncle in he could not snub it. He bent down charge of them. Then She could and stroked the cat. rest. The skies did not split, Their Hugh's comment was: "And God Charity ignored the breach. help the human race!" Presently the Lord Protector said, 114 IF PONSE

\ ~\ ~

·~ZW'/Je ~ !\: t5... ~~~~~---~'j ~·~· ~ "Yes, boy, come here. Now what's chose.' Hugh, you aren't just sniff­ this about making money from your ing Happiness. Things are the same uanslations? What in Uncle ever now. Well? What's your idea? Spit gave you the notion I needed mon­ it out." ey?" "It seems to me that there are Hugh had got the notion from things in your encyclopedia which Memtok. The Chief Domestic had might be turned to a profit. Pro­ growled about how difficult it was cesses and other thing that have to run things, with pennypinching been lost in the last two thousand from on high getting worse every years- but might be worth money year. now." "May it please Their Charity, this one's opinions' are of no value, it is "All right, do it. The stuff you true, but-" send up is satisfactory, what I've "Cut the flowery talk, damn you!" had time to read. But some of it ia "Ponse, I haven't any idea how trivial. 'Smith, John, born and died things are here. But back where­ - a politician who did nothing when -I came from there never much and did that little poorly.' was a man so rich but what he need­ Know what I mean?" ed more money. Usually, the richer "I think so, Ponse." he was, the more he needed." "All right, skip that garbage and The lord grinned ruefully. "'Plus dig me up four or five juicy ideas ca change, plus c'est Ia meme I can cash in on." FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 1lJ Hugh hesitated. Ponse said, He expected a conference over "\'.. ell'? Didn't you understand?" some business idea. What he !'ound "I think I need help. You see, I was Ponse, Joe, and a Chosen he don't know anything, anything at had never seen. Hugh instantly prO­ all. really, except what goes on be­ pared to speak protocol mode, ris­ low stairs. I thought Joe might help." ing. "How?" The Lord Protector said. "Come "I understand that he has traveled here, Hugh. Cut the carus. And some with you, seen things. And he don't start any of that tiresome for­ reads English. He is mor:e likely to mality, this is all family. Private." be able to pick out subjects that Hugh itesitantly approached. The merit study. He could pick the ar­ other Chosen, a big dark man with ticle:>, I will translate them, and you a permanent scowl, didn't seem can judge whether or not 'ltere is pleased at the idea. He was carrying anything to exploit. I can synopsize his quirt and twitched it. But Joe them, too, so that you needn't waste looked up and smiled. "I've been your time wading through details if teaching them contract, Hugh, and the subject doesn't merit it." our usual fourth had to be away. "Good idea. I'm sure Joe will be I've been telling Ponse that you are happy to help. All right, send up the best player any where or when. the encyclopedia. All." So don't let me down." Hugh was dismissed so abruptly "I'll try not to." Hugh recognized that he had no chance to mention one deck of cards, they had once Barbara. But, he reflected, he could been his. The o.ther deck appeared not have risked it with Grace pres­ to be handpainted on plastic and ent. were quite beautiful. The table was He considered digging out Duke, the right height and size, but was telling him that his mother was fat not from the shelter; fabulous hand and happy - both literally - craftsmanship had gone into it. but decided against it. He wasn't The cut made Hugh partner of sure how pleased Duke would be the strange Chosen. Hugh tried not with a truthful report, and wanted show how nervous it made him, es­ no argument. They didn't see eye to pecially as his partner clearly did eye and that was that. not like it. But the Chosen grunted and accepted it. XV His partner's contract at three spades- by a fluke distribu­ 'Joe sent · back down a volume tion they made four. His partner almost every day for many growled. "Boy, you underbid. you days,· with pages marked and ar­ wasted game. Don't let it happen ticles checked; Hugh slaved very again." hard to try to keep up with him, Hugh kept quiet and dealt. and to make really useful transla­ On the next hand Joe and Ponse tions. After two weeks of' this Hugh made five clubs. Huee that. now?" Why, I doubt if he knows how to "No, no. I want to play, damn it, put on his own boots. Hugh, if you not watch some beginner bumble tell me to put the black lady on the through it. I'm growing addicted to red lord, I'll tingle you, I promise. it. Takes a man's worries off his I'm not in a good mood." mind." Hugh said hastily, "Did you miss a play? I hadn't noticed." ugh was hit by inspiration. "Then why were you staring at H "Ponse, if you don't mind hav­ the cards?" Hugh had indeed been ing another servant in the game ..." staring at the game, trying his best Joe brightened up. "Why, of to be invisible. He had been made course! He...,.." very nervous by witnessing a quar­ "Barbara," Hugh cut in fast, be­ rel between Ponse and his nephew. fore Joe could mention Duke. He hoped never to see the younger Joe blinked. Then he smoothly Chosen again - the man might re­ picked where he had left off. "He - member him. But he had missed not Hugh, I mean- was about to men­ a word, he found it extremely in­ tion a servant named Barbara. teresting. Good bridge player." Ponse went on, "Which would "Well! You've been teaching this you prefer, Hugh? To escort me to game below stairs, Hugh?" Ponse Heaven? Or stay here and serve added, " 'Barbara'? A name I don't Mrika? Don't answer too quickly. recognize. Ncit one of the upper If you stay here, I venture you may servants, I'm sure." be eating your own toes to stay your "You remember her," Joe said. hunger before I'm gone a year ... "She was with us when you picked whereas Heaven is a very nice us up. The tall one." place, so the Good Scroll tells us." "Oh, yes. Digging, it was. But, "It's a ha"rd choice." Joe, are you telling me that a slut "Well, you don't have to make it. can play this game?" nor will you know. A servant should "She's a top player," Joe assured never know, it keeps him on his toes. him. "Plays better than I do. Heav­ That scoundrel Memtok keeps pray­ ens, Ponse, she can play rings ing me for the honor of being in my around you. Isn't that right, Hugh?" escort. If I thought he was sincere, "Barbara is an excellent player." I would dismiss him for incompe­ "This I must see to believe." tence. But he isn't." Ponse swept the A few minutes later Barbara, 118 IF freshly bathed and scared, was bust. She had lost most of her tan fetched in. She glanced at Hugh, and was dressed in the shapeless looked startled silly, opened her short robe that all female servants mouth, closed it, and stood mute. wore below stairs, but he was de­ Ponse came up to her. "So this is lighted to see that she had not had the slut who is supposed to be able her hair removed. It was close to play contract. Stop trembling, lit­ cropped but it could grow back. tle one; nobody's going to eat you." He noticed that his own appear­ In a few bluff words, confirmed by ance seemed to startle her, realized Joe, he convinced her that she was why. He said, smiling, "Yes, I comb there to play bridge and that she my hair with a washrag now, Bar­ was expected to relax and be infor­ bie. No matter, I didn't have enough mal- no fancy talk. "Just behave left to be more than a nuisance. as if you were downstairs. having a Now that I'm used to being hair­ good time with other servants. less, I like it." Hear me?" "You look distinguished, Hugh." "Yes, sir." "He's ugly as sin," said Ponse. "Just one thing." He tapped her "But are we chatting? Or playing on her chest. "When you're my part­ bridge? Your bid, Barba." ner, I shan't be angry if you make a mistake or two. After all, you're hey played bridge for hours. only a slut and it's surprising that T As it progressed, Barbara you can play an intellectual game seemed to relax and enjoy it. She at all. But-" He paused. "But ... smiled a great deal, usually at Hugh, when you are playing against me, if but also at Joe and even at Their you fail to fight for every trick, if Charity. She played by the book I even suspect that you are trying to and Ponse never found fault with let me win, I guarantee you'll tingle her. Hugh decided that their host when you leave. Understand me?" was a good run-of-the-mill player, "That's right," agreed Joe. "Their not yet perfect in his play- but he Charity expects it. You just play by was smart, always remembered what the book. and play your best." cards had been played, and usually " 'Play by the book,' " Ponse re­ bid quite accurately, by the book. peated. "I've never seen this book Hugh found him a satisfactory part­ Joe talks about; but that's the way ner and an adequately strong oppo­ Joe says he has taught me to play. nent; it was a good game. So do it. All right. let's cut the But once, with Barbara as Ponse's cards." partner and contract in her hand, Hugh hardly listened, he was Hugh saw as soon as Ponse laid drinking in the .sight of Barbara. down the dummy that Ponse had She looked well and healthy al­ overbid in his answer by at least though it was startling to see her one trick. So he contrived to play slender again- or almost slender, so that he lost one sure trick, there­ he corrected; she was still largish by letting Barbara make contract, in the fanny and certainly in the game, and rubber. FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 119 It got him a glance with r•J ex­ Ponse looked up from shuffling. pression from Barbara and Joe gave "Plumbing call! One of the maids him a look that had a suggestion of can show it, I suppose. They must a twinkle in it, but Joe kept his go somewhere." mouth shut. Ponse did not notice. "Not that. Well, maybe that, too. He gave a bass roar of satisfaction, But .what I meant was, Barbara bas reached across and patted Barbara's twins." head. "Wonderful, wonderful! Little "Well? Sluts usually have twins, one, you really can play contract. they have two breasts. What do you Why, I doubt if I could have made expect?" that one myself." "That's the point, she's nursing Nor did Ponse complain when, on them and she's hours past time for the next rubber, Barbara and Hugh .it. She has to leave." gave him and Joe a trouncing. Hugh Ponse looked annoyed, hesitated, decided that Ponse had the inborn then said, "Oh, garbage. Its milk :honesty sometimes called "s.ports­ won't cake from so short a delay. mans~1ip"- plus quite a good head Here, cut the cards." · for carJs. Hugh did not touch them. Ponse One of the little deaf-mutes trot­ said, "Didn't you hear me?" ted in, knelt, and served Their Char­ Hugh stood up. His heart was ity a tumbler of something cold, beating very fast and he felt a shud· then another to Joe. Ponse took a der of fear. "Ponse, Barbara hurts. long swig, wiped his mouth and She needs to nurse her twins right said, "Ah, that hits the spot!" now. I may not be able to force Joe made a quiet, almost wltis­ you to let her - but if you think percd suggestion to him. Ponse I'll play cards with you while you looked startled and said, "Oh, cer­ don't let her, you're crazy." tainly. Why not?" So Hugh and Barbara were or long moments the big man served, too. Hugh was pleased to dis­ F simply stared, without expres­ cover that it was just cold apple sion. Then suddenly he grinned. juice; he wasn't sure of his ability "Hugh I like you, I really do. You to play tight bridge had it been did something like this once before, Happiness." didn't you? The slut is your sister, During this rubber Hugh noticed I suppose." that Barbara was squirming a little "No." and seemed to have trouble in con­ "Then you are the one who is centrating. When the hand ended crazy. Do you know how close you he said quietly, "Trouble, bon?" came to being cold meat?" She glanced at Ponse and whis­ "I can guess." pered quickly, "Some. I was about "I doubt it, you don't look W6r· to feed the boys when I was sent ried. But I like spunk, even .in a for." servant. Very well, I'll have its brats "Oh." Hugh turned to his host. fetched. They can be fed while !I'D "Ponse, Barbara needs to stop." play." 120 If The twins were fetched and Hugh played cards with her free hand. aaw at once that they were the most The little maids fussed over the one perfect, handsomest, healthiest and not nursing and, in due time, took loveliest boy babies that had ever them away. In spite of the handicap been born; he told Barbara so. But Barbara managed to play well, even he did not immediately get a chance brilliantly; the long session ended to touch them as Ponse took one in with Ponse top scorer, Barbara close each arm, laughed at them, blew behind, and Joe and Hugh tied for in their faces and jiggled them. anchor position. Hugh had cheated "Fine boys!" he roared. "Fine boys, very little to make it come out that Barba! Holy little terrors, I'll bet. way; the cards had favored Ponse Go on, swing that fist, kid! Sock and Barbara when they were part· Uncle in the nose again. What do ners; they had made two small slams, you call them, Barba? Do they have the only slams· of the session. names?" Ponse was feeling very jovial "This one is Hugh-" about it. "Barba, come here, little "Eh? Does Hugh have something one. You tell the slutmaster that I to do with them? Or thinks he has, said to find a wet nurse for your perhaps?" brats and that I want the vet to dry "He's their father." you up as soon as possible, hear. "Well, well! Hugh. you may be me? I want you available as my ugly. but you have other qualities. bridge partner. Or opponent- you If Barba knows what she's talking give a man a tough fight." about. And.what's this one's name?" "Yes, si:r.. May one speak?" "That one is little Joe. Karl Jo· "One may." aeph." "I would rather nurse them my­ Ponse lifted an eyebrow at Joe. self. They're all I have." "So you have sluts naming brats for "Well-" He shrugged.· "This you, eh, Joe? I'll have to watch you, seems to be my day for balky ser­ you're a sly one. What did you give vants. I'm afraid you are both sti11 Barba?" savages at heart. A tingling wouldn't "Beg pardon?" do you any harm, slut. All right, "Birthing present. you idiot. Noth­ but you'll have to play one-handed ing? Give her that ring you're wear­ sometimes; I won't have brats stop­ ing. So many 'brats in this house ping the game." He grinned. "Be­ named after me that I have to or­ sides, I'd like to see the little rascals der trinkets by the basket load; they occasionally, especially that one that all know it obliges me to make them bites. You may go. All." a present. Hugh here is lucky, he has nothing to give. Hey, Hughie arbara was dismissed so sud­ bas teeth already." B denly that Hugh barely had Hugh got to hold them for a mo· time to exchange smiles with her. ment while they settled down for He had hoped to walk down with combined bridge and nursing. Bar­ her, steal a little private visit. Bqt bara took them one at a time and His Charity did not dismiss him, so FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 121 he stayed - with a warm glow in not recall that be had ever in his his heart; it had been the happiest life eaten someone's leavings, and time he had had in a long time. certainly not with a used spoon. Ponse discussed the articles he But he dug in. had been translating, why none of As usual, Their Charity's menu them offered practical new business did not especially please Hugh - ventures. "But don't fret about it, somewhat greasy and be had no Hugh. Keep plugging away and we'll great liking for pork. Pork was hard­ strike ore yet." He turned the talk ly ever served below stairs but was to other matters, still kept Hugh often part of the menus Memtok there. Hugh found him a knowl­ sampled, Hugh had noticed. It sur­ edgeable conversationalist, interest­ prised him, as the revised Koran ed in everything, as willing to lis­ these people used still contained ten as he was to talk. He seemed to the dietary laws and the Chosen Hugh the epitome of the perfect did follow some of the original Mus­ decadent gentleman -urbane, cos­ lim customs. They practiced cir­ mopolitan, disillusioned and cyni­ cumcision, did not use alcohol oth­ cal, a dilettant in all arts and sci­ er than a thin beer, and observed ences, neither merciful nor cruel, Ramadan at least nominally and unimpressed by his own rank, and still called it that. Mahomet would not racist. At least he treated Hugh as an intellectual equal in private have been shocked by the accre­ conversation. tions and revisions to his straight­ While they were talking, the little forward monotheistic teaching but maids came in and served dinner to nevertheless he would have recogni­ Ponse and to Joe, at the card table zed some of tpe details. where they had remained. Nothing But the bread was good, the fruits was offered to Hugh, nor did he ex­ were superb, and so were the ices pect it -nor want it, as he could and many other things; it wasn't always have meals served in his necessary to dine solely on the rooms if he was not on time in the roast. Hugh kept intact his record executive servants' dining room and for enjoying the inevitable. he had long since decided, from sev­ Ponse was interested in what the eral samplings, that Memtok was climate had been in this region in right: The upper servants ate better Hugh's time. "Joe tells me you than the master. sometimes had freezing tempera­ But when Ponse had finished, he tures. Even snow." shoved his dishes toward Hugh. "Oh, yes, hoth, every winter." "Eat." "Fantastic. How cold did it get?" Hugh hesitated a split second; Hugh had to stop to think. He he did not need to be told that he had not yet had occasion to learn was being honored - for a ser­ how these people marked tempera­ vant. There was plenty of food, tures. "If you consider the range at least three times as much left from freezing of water to its boil­ as Ponse bad eaten. Hugh could ing, it was not especially unusual for 122 IF it to get one third of that range The British Isles were several small lower than freezing." islands. Part of the Sahara was un­ Ponse looked surprised. "Are you der water. What had been lowlands sure? We call that range, freezing anywhere were missing- Holland, to boiling, one hundred. Are you tell­ Belgium, northern Germany could ing me that it sometimes got as not be found. Nor Denmark - the much as thirty-three degrees below Baltic was a gulf of the Atlantic. freezing?" Hugh looked at it with odd sor­ Hugh noted with interest that the row and had never felt so home­ centigrade scale had survived two sick. He had known it was so, fro::-~ millenia - but no reason why it reading; this was the first map he mould not; they used the decimal had seen of il system in arithmetic and in their "The question," said Ponse, "is money. He had to do a conversion whether the melting of the ice was in his head. "Yes, that's exactly triggered by the explosions and diJst what I mean. Nearly cold enough of the East-West War, or was it a to freeze mercury, and often cold natural change that was, at most, enough for that, up in those moun­ simply speeded up a little by artifi­ tains." Hugh pointed out a view cial events? Some of my scientists window. say one thing, some the other." "Cold enough," Joe agreed, "to "What do you think?" asked freeze your teeth! Only thing that Hugh. ever made me long for Mississippi." The lord shrugged. "I'm not fool­ "Where," asked Ponse, "is Missis­ ish enough to hold an opinion when lippi?" I have insufficient data; I'll leave "It's not," Joe told him. "It's un­ that folly to scientists. I'm simply der water now. And good riddance." glad that Uncle saw fit to let me live in an age in which I can go ~ led to discussion of why outdoors without freezing my feet. J. the climate had changed and I visited the South Pole once - I Their Charity sent for the last vol­ have some mines there. Frost on the ume of the Britannica, containing ground. Dreadful. The place for ice ancient maps, and for modem is in a drink." maps. They poured over them to­ Ponse went to the view window gether. Wliere the Mississippi Val­ and stood looking out at the silhou­ ley had been, the Gulf now reached ette of mountains against darkening far north. It was no longer a gulf sky. "However, if it got that cold up but part of the Atlantic as Florida there now, we would root them out and Yucatan were missing and Cuba in a hurry. Eh, Joe?" was a few small islands. California "They would come back with had a central sea and most of north­ their tails between their legs," Joe em Canada was gone. agreed. Similar shrinkages had taken Hugh looked puzzled. "Ponse place elsewhere. The Scandinavian means," Joe explained, "the runn~rs Peninsula was now a great island. hiding up in the mountains. What FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 123 they thought you were when we "Yes. I know," Hugh replied. were found." "Then you certainly know how "Runners and a few aborigines," much your condition has improved. Ponse supplemented. "Savages. Don't you sleep in a better bed Poor creatures who have never been now? Aren't you eating better? Un­ rescued by civilization. It's very cle! When we picked you up, you hard to save them, Hugh. They were half starved and infested with don't stand around in the open and vermin. You were barely staying wait to be picked up the way you alive with the hardest sort of work, did. They're as crafty as wolves. I could see. I'm not blind, I'm not Caves and things, and the merest stupid. There isn't a member of my shadow in the sky and they freeze Family down to the lowest and dull­ and you can't see them -and they est cleaner that works half as hard are very destructive of game. Of as you had to, or sleeps in as poor course we could smoke them out any a bed - and in a stinking little sty; number of ways. But that would kill I could hardly bear the stench be­ off the game, can't have that. Hugh, fore we fumigated it. And as for you've lived out there in the open; the food, if that is the word, any ser­ you must have acquired some feel vant in this house would turn up his for it. How would you go about res­ nose at what you ate. Right?" cuing those critters? Without killing "Yes." the game." "Well?" Mr. Hugh Farnham hesitated "I prefer freedom." only long enough to phrase his re­ "'Freedom!'" Their Charity snort­ ply. "Their Charity knows that this ed. "A concept without a referent, one is a servant. This one's ears like 'ghosts.' Meaningless. Hugh, you must be at fault in thinking that it should study semantics. Modern se­ heard its humble self caUed on to mantics, I mean; I doubt if they see the problem as it might appear hlill such a science in your day, to the Chosen." really. We are all free--to walk "Why, damn your impudence for our appointed paths. Jus.t as a stone dodging around it with fancy talk. is free to fall when you toss it into Hugh, I want your opinion." the air. No one is free in the purely "You got my opinion, Ponse. I'm abstract meaning you give the word. a servant. I know it, you know it. Do you think I am free? Free to My sympathies are with the run­ change places with you, say? Would aways. And the savages. I didn't I if I could? You bet I would! You exactly come here willingly, you have no concept of the worries J know. I was dragged." have, the work I do. Sometimes I lie awake half the night, worrying "surely you aren't resenting that about which way to turn next- and now? Of course you were cap­ you won't find that in servants' hall. tured, even Joe was. But there was They're happy, they have no wor­ language difficulty. Now you've seen ries. But I have to carry my burden the difference. You know." as best I can." 124 lF Hugh looked stubborn. Ponse mountains as I'm sure you know came over and put his arm around better than I. They are happy, they Hugh's shoulders. "Come, let's sit are never overworked - which I down and talk this over, judicially, am - and they have plenty of fun, not emotionally - two civilized be­ which is more than I can say! This ings. I'm not one of those supersti­ bridge game today- the first real tious persons who thinks a man fun I've had in a m0··•h. And they can't think because his skin is pale. are never punished, only just enough Surely you know that. Haven't I to remind them when they .. err. respected your intellect?" Have to do that, you've seen how "Well ... yes." stupid most of them ar.e. Not that "That's better. But I happen to I am inferring that you are. No, r know more about this than you do. tell you honestly that I think you Let me explain some things- Joe are smart enough to take care of has seen them - and you can ask servants yourself, despite your· skin. questions if you need to, and we'll I'm speaking of the ordinary run of arrive at a rational understanding. them. Honestly, Hugh, do you think First- Joe, you've seen the Chos­ they could possibly take care of sen here and there who are what them as well as I look out for our friend Hugh would. no doubt de­ them?" scribe as 'free.' Tell him." Joe snorted. "Hugh, you should "probably not." Hugh was think- see. You would be darn glad to be ing that he had heard all this privileged to live in Ponse's house­ before, only a few nights ago, anci hold. There is just one phrase I can in almost the same words - from think of to describe them. Po' Memtok. With the slight difference black trash. Like the white trash that Ponse did seem to be honestly not knowing where their next meal fond of his servants and earnest is coming from." about their welfare - whereas the "I follow you." Chief Domestic had been openly "I think I do, too," agreed Their contemptuous of them, even more Charity. "A pungent phrase. I look strongly so than his barely veiled forward to the day when every contempt for the Chosen. "No, they man will have servants. But it can't couldn't. most of them." come oven1ight, they'll have to lift "Ah! You agree with me." themselves up. But a day when all "No." the Chosen will be served - and all Ponse looked pained. "Hugh, how servants as well cared for as I know can we have a rational discussion if they are in my Family. That's my you say one thing and contradict it ideal. In the meantime I do the best in the next breath?" I can. I look after their welfare "I didn't contradict myself. I from birth until they're called agreed that you took fine care of Home by Uncle. They have noth­ the welfare of your servants. But I ing to fear, utter security- which did not agree that I prefer it to free­ they wouldn't have out in those dom. I don't." FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD 125 "But tell me why, Hugh? Give me system developed over centuries to a concrete reason, not a philosophi­ pamper one servant. Do you know cal abstraction. If you're not happy, how many servants are in this fam­ I want to know why. So that I can ily? Here and at the Palace? Some­ correct it." where around eighteen hundred, I "I can give you one good reason. believe. Do you know what would I'm not allowed to live with my wife happen if I allowed unrestricted and children." breeding? In ten years there would "Eh?" be twice that number. Do you know "Barbara. And the twins." what would happen next? They'd "Oh. But is that really important starve, that's what would happen. I to you? You have a bedwarmer. I can't support them in unlimited know you have; Memtok told me, breeding. Would if I could, but it's and I congratulated him on having wishing for the Moon. Worse, for used initiative in an odd situation. we can go to the Moon any time Not much gets past that sly old fox. it's worth while but nobody yet has You have one and she is sure to be been able to cope with the way ser­ more expert at her specialty than vants will breed if left to their own the ordinary run of breeding slut. devices. So which is better? To con­ As for the brats, no reason why trol the breeding? Or let them you can't see them all you wish­ starve?" just order them fetched to you whenever you like. But who wants heir Charity sighed and went to live with brats? Or with a wife? T on. "I wish yau were a head I don't live with my wife and chil­ shorter, we could work something dren, you can bet on that. I see out. You've been .in studs' quarters?" them on appropriate occasions. But "I visited it once, with Memtok," who would want to live with them?" said Hugh. "I would." "You noticed the door? You had "Well - Uncle! I want you to be to stoop; Memtok walked straight happy. It can be arranged." in. He used to be a stud. The "It can?" doors are that height in every studs' "Certainly. If you hadn't put up barracks in the world - and no ser­ such a fuss over being tempered, vant is chosen if he can't walk in you could have had them with you without stooping. And the slut in all along- though I confess I don't this case is too tall, too. A wise law, see why. Do you want to see the Hugh, but I didn't make it; it was vet?" handed down by Their Mercy of "Uh ... no." that time, a long time ago. If they "Well. there's always the other are allowed to breed too ta!l they choice. I'll have the slut spayed." start needing to be tingled too often "NO." and that's not good, either for mas­ Ponse sighed. "You're a hard one ter or servant. No, Hugh. Anything to please. Be practical, Hugh; I within reason. But don't ask for the can't change a scientific breeding impossible." He moved from the di- 126 IF van where he had been sitting tete-a­ "You're holding it in your tete with Hugh, and sat down at the h.and. Brand new. In thi! oard table, picked up one deck. "So age. Joe! Come here and let's we'll say no more about it. Do you talk about this. How many deck~ know how to play doubie solitaire?" of playing cards were sold each "Yes." year in the United States?" "Then come see if you can beat "Gosh, Hugh, I don't know. Mil­ me a game and let's be cheerful. A lions, maybe." man gets upset when his efforts "So I· would say. And .at a grost aren't appreciated." profit of about 90~1o on each deck, Hugh shut up and 'tt down with too. Mmm. Ponse, bridge and soli­ him. He was thinking glumly that taire aren't the only games that can Ponse was not a villain, not at all. be played with these cards. The He was exactly like the members of possibilities are unlimited. There are every other ruling class in history: simple games, simple as solitaire but honestly convinced of his own be­ played by two or three or more nevolence and hurt if it was chal­ players. There are games a dozen lenged. people can play at once. There are They played a game. Hugh lost, hard games and easy games, there his mind was not on it. They start­ /is even a form of bridge- 'dupli­ ed to lay out another. Their Char­ cate ' it's called- which is harder ity remarked, "I must havl! more tha~ contract, for people who like cards painted. These are getting to work hard when they play Ponse, worn and sticky." every family -little family, I mean Hugh said. "Couldn't it be done -in the United States kept one or more quickly, using a printi!r such two or even dozens of decks of these as we use for scrolls?" cards on hand; it was a rare home "Eh? I suppose so. Hadn't thought that didn't own a single deck. I about it." The big man rubbed one couldn't guess how many were sold. of the XXth century .:ards. "This Probably at least a hundr-ed million doesn't seem much like printing. decks in use in the United States Are they printed? Were they, I alone. And you've got a virgin mean?" market. All it needs is to get people "Oh, yes. Many thousands at a interested in playing with cards." time. Millions, ptrhaps I should £ay, figuring the enormous numbers that "Ponse, Hugh is right." Joe said used to be sold." solemnly. "The possibilities are un­ "Really? I wouldn't have thought limited." that bridge, with its jemand on the Ponse pursed up his lips. ·'If we intellect, would have attracted many sold them for a bullock a deck, let people." us say ... mmm -" Hugh suddenly put down his "Too much," Joe objected. "You cards. "Ponse? You wanted a way would kill your market before you to make money." got started." "Certainly." Hugh said, "Joe, what's this for- FARNHAM'S FREBHOLD 127 mula for setting a price to maximize inspirations." Suddenly he grinned. profits rather than sales?" "In my opinion, anything -that will "Works only if you have a mo­ stack bullocks in the Family coffers nopoly." is certainly an inspiration. The prob­ "Well? How is that done here? lem is to make the Proprietor see Patents and copyrights and such? I it. But there are ways, there are haven't read anything about it." ways. That's my problem, not J9e looked troubled. "Hugh, the Chosen don't use such a system. yours. Keep talking." You see, they don't need to. Every­ thing is pretty well worked out, oe said, "Hugh, the protectioa things don't change much." J should extend not only over Hugh said, "That's bad. Two playing cards but over the games weeks after we start the market will themselves." be flooded with cheap imitations." "Of course. If they don't buy Ponse said, "What are you two Their Charity's cards, they must not jabbering about? Speak Language." Hugh's first question had necessari­ play his games. Hard to stop, since anybody can fake up a deck of ly been in English; he knew 'lO other words for what he wanted to ask. cards, paint them on blank cards. Joe had answered in English. But the monopoly should make it Joe said, "Sorry, Ponse," and ex­ illegal." plained the ideas behind patent "And not just cards like these, but rights, copyright, and monopoly. any sort of playing cards .. Shucks, Ponse relaxed. "Oh, that's simple. you could play bridge with cards When a man gets an inspiration just with numbers on them." from Heaven, the LOrd Proprietor "Yes." Hu!!h pondered. "Joe. there recognizes it and forbids anyone was a Scrabble set in the shelter." else to use it without his let. Doesn't "It's still around. Ponse's scien­ happen often, I recall only two tists saved everything. Hugh, I see cases in my lifetime. But Mighty what you're driving at. but nobody Uncle has been known to ·smile." Hugh was not surprised to learn here could learn Scrabble. You have how scarce invention was. It was a to know English." static culture at best, with most of "Yes, yes! But what's to keep us what they called "science" in the from inventing Scrabble all over hands of tempered slaves. And if again - in Language? Let me set patenting a 'new idea was that dif­ one of my staff to making a fre­ ficult, there would be little incen­ quency count of the alphabet as it tive to invent. "Would you say that appears in Language and I'll have · a this idea is an inspiration from set of Scrabble, board and tiles and Heaven?" rules, suited to Language, the fol­ Ponse thought about it. "A true lowing day." inspiration is whatever. Their Mercy, "What in the name of Uncle is in Their wisdom, recognizes as an Scrabble?" 128 IF "It's a game, Ponse. Quite a good bowling alleys! Joe, have Y<* one, too. But the point is that it's seen-" a game that we can charge more "No." for than we can for a deck of "Billiards. Pocket pool. I'll stop, cards." we've got a backlog for a century. "And that's not all," said Hugh. Ponse, the first problem is to get 1 "Parcheesi, Monopoly, backgam­ protection from Their Mercy to mon, Old Maid for kids-- call it cover it all - and I see a theory something else - dominoes. ana­ that makes it all an inspiration f.}om grams, poker chips and racks, jig­ on high. It was a miracle." saw puzzles- have you seen any?" "What? Garbage. I don't believe "No." in miracles." "Good for young and old, and all "You don't have to believe in it degrees of difficulty. Tinker Toy. Look, we were found on the Propri­ The idea is to think big, this isn't etor's own personal land- and you just playing cards. Dice. Lots of found us. Doesn't that look as if Un­ games with dice. Joe, are there ca­ cle intended for the Proprietor to sinos here?" know about this? And for you as "Of sorts. There are places to Lord Protector to protect it?" gamble and lots of private gam­ Ponse grinned. "An argument bling." could be made for such a theory. "Roulette wheels?" Might be expensive. But you can't "I don't believe so." boil water without feeding the fire, "Tt gets too big to think about. as my aunt used to say." He stood Ponse, you are going to have to sit up. "l'm an old man, I'm tired. up all night every night, just count­ Hugh, let's see that Scrabble game. ing your money." Soon. Joe, we'll find time for you "Servants for such chores. I wish to explain to me these other things. I knew what you two are talking We excuse you both. All." about. May one ask?" "Sorry. sir. Joe and I were talk­ itten was long since asleep ing about ancient games ... and not K when Hugh returned to hil just games but all sorts of recrea­ quarters 'but she was clutching a tions that we used to have and have note: now been lost. At least T think they Oh, darling, it was so wonderful to have been. Joe?" see you! ! ! I can't wait until Their "The only one I've seen that still Charity asks us to make up a four for looks familiar is chess. It's practi­ bridge again! Isn't he an old dear? Even if he was thoughtless at one point. callv the same." He correcte-d his mistake and that's al­ "Chess would hold up if anything ways the mark of a true gentleman. would. Ponce~ the point is that ev­ I'm still so excited at seeing you that ery one of these things has money I can hardly write, and Kitten is wait­ in it. Surely, you have games now. ing ta take this to you. The twins send you kisses, slobbery But these will be novelties. So old ones. Love, love, lovel they are new again. Ping Pong .• ~ Your Own B. FARNHAM'S FREiiHOLD •• Hugh read Barbara's note with Rocky Mountains, punching jagged mixed feelings. He shared Barbara's hales in the sky. jOy in ·their reunion, limited and Somewhere out there, there were temporary as it had been, and eager­ free men. lY' looked forward to the next time He could break his window, Ponse's pleasure would permit them walk toward the mountains, be lost to be together again. As for the rest in 'them before daylight. Find free - Better get her out of here before companions. He need not even she-acquired a slave mentality! Sure­ break the window -just slip past a ly, Pon&e was a gentleman within nodding watchman, or use the au­ the accepted meaning of the term. thority symbolized by his whip and He was conscientious about his re­ go out at night despite the watch. sponsibilities, generous, and tolerant No real effort was made to keep with his inferior. A gentleman. house servants locked up. A watch But he was a revolving son of a was set at nightfall more to keep in­ bitch, too! And Barbara ought not truders out. Most house servants to be so ready to overlook the fact. would no more think of running Ignore it, yes. One had to. But not away than a dog would. forget it. Dogs - One of the studmaster's He must get her free. duties was keeper of the hounds. But how? If necessary, he could kill a dog He went to bed. But not to sleep. with his bare hands. But how do An aching hour later he got up, you run when burdened down with went into his living room, moving two small babies? softly so as not to disturb Kitteri, He went to a cupboard, poured stood at his own window. He could himself a stiff drink of Happiness, barely make out against the black gulped it down and went back to sky the blacker blackness of the bed. Soon he slept. To Be Concluded

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