THE DAILY FELIX

FRIDAY 4TH MARCH KEEP THE CAT FREE OVERBLOWN? The push and pull of regulating online student content at Imperial: Page 5 Exeter declares BUSINESS £9,000 fees ELECTIONS First non-Russell Group university to aim for highest rate The FIG business

Deepka Rana legal ice in suggesting it might do so. model: Page 16 I see no disincentive for universities to The University of Exeter has announced not charge the highest possible amount”. plans to raise its undergraduate fees to When asked about the potential effect £9,000, the new threshold set by the these moves could have on the reputa- government last December. tion of Imperial College, Alex Dahinten, This comes weeks after Imperial Col- Deputy President (Education) responded POLITICS lege officially revealed plans to raise its with: “In my opinion, Imperial’s reputa- fees, however Exeter’s news marks it as tion will not be affected by non-Russell the first non-Russell Group University to Group Universities charging similar fees be raising tuition fees to the maximum to us … I do however feel that some oth- of £9,000. Although the proposal still er Universities may struggle to justify has to be approved by the Office for Fair setting fees in this region”. Access, eyebrows have already been Defending Imperial’s decision to raise raised at the fact that all courses at Ex- fees he added “he reason why Impe- eter will require the maximum fee, only rial can (and must) charge these fees is days after Universities Minister, David a combination of our International repu- Willets, said in a speech that arts courses tation as well as the undeniable fact that Is immigration a should not cost anymore than £6,000. is costs much more to run science-based It also raises the question of whether course than it does to run arts or human- problem? Page 18 the price a University charges for its ity based ones. When averaged out across degrees will change how potential ap- courses, Imperial is expecting students to plicants perceive it. In terms of fees, pay approximately as much as it costs for Exeter will now be in the same price Imperial to educate them and guarantee bracket as Imperial, and almost defi- a high-quality student experience”. Al- nitely, Oxford and Cambridge. though he couldn’t comment on Exeter’s Aaron Porter, President of the Na- outreach programs or the quality of the FILM tional Union of Students commented on courses they teach, he did feel that Uni- the issue to Felix, stating “No Univer- versities that were planning to charge as sity should be making a decision about much as top Universities should recon- the level of fees it is charging to create sider and much like David Willets, could prestige. The system the Government not see the justification behind charging have imposed is a mess and poor value as much for an arts degree as for a lab- for students…”. And whilst the decision based science degree. of Exeter’s fees will still be reviewed Not surprisingly, the recent announce- by the Office for Fair Access, Porter ments concerning fees from Universi- has little confidence it its effectiveness, ties (and many more rumoured to be in Manifestos from Page 8 onwards commenting that “The Office for Fair the pipeline) are worrying prospective Access has no power to enforce any applicants who will be in vast amounts Voting opens Tuesday Cross-examination of access agreements nor to regulate the of debt no matter where they study if market and the Government is on thin ...Continued on Page 3 the Oscars: Page 26 2 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

HIGHLIGHTS [email protected] On campus From Beneath the Editor’s Desk Lolcat of teh day

Fairtrade Fortnight Wrapping up a series of successful events, the Fairtrade Society are putting on a wine and cheese night to mark the end of Fairtrade Fortnight. Head down to get your fill of... you guessed it, cheese and wine, whilst also having a chance of winning some great prizes in raffles and a mini quiz. Room 344, Huxley Building 19:00 onwards Tickets: £6/£7 on door (£5 members) I really must apologise if this has any mistakes in it. The deadline is racing towards me (so close to the end! To sweet release!) My ramblings yesterday were quite downbeat so I must apologise – damn mood swings. The Daily Felix is the most exciting thing that we’ve done this year and I’m in awe of the Felix team. Who would Rag Week 2 think that at a university without any full-time humanities courses, where no essay based subjects are studied and Imperial College Get involved in the last night of RAG week 2 with this movie without a single journalism student in sight, we could Union Strategic themed night out at Supersonic Vague (Gatecrasher). Dress pull off writing, editing, laying out and printing 24 pages shape our future Review 2011 up as your favourite movie character and meet for pre-club of content every day? These guys and girls are truly an drinks at B4| Bar at 8pm before grabbing your wristbands inspiration. They have kept me in good spirits and have and heading off to Gatecrasher on the minibuses provided. made The Daily Felix a reality. I am deeply indebted to Minibuses will run until 11pm. their skill, passion and dedication. It’s feels strange to be at the end of this project. I We need to talk to you about the services and facilities we wonder what producing Felix weekly will feel like now. I o! er. Do you have some time next week? We will provide Supersonic Vague (Gatecrasher) wonder if anyone will do it again? Will it become a yearly snacks and refreshments and a £20 Union Shop Voucher for 20:00 (at B4|Bar) tradition? I’m not sure, obviously it isn’t up to me but I each attendee. Go online for more info. We especially need think… to hear from Postgraduate Taught & Reseach students. Tickets: £3 Oh hell, that deadline won’t stop coming closer. I’ve got rush Imperial, I won’t be writing these solipsistic diaries any longer so let’s just say that I’ve had a lot of fun, not imperialcollegeunion.org @feliximperial a lot of sleep and I’m looking forward to having a beer in the Union.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. THE Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by The Harmsworth Printing Ltd, Northcliffe House, Meadow DAILY FELIX Road, Derby. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2011.

Editor-in-Chief Kadhim Shubber Deputy Editor Gilead Amit Copy Chief Lizzy Griffiths Assistant Editor Dan Wan News Editors Alex Karapetian Matt Colvin Reporters Katherine Bettany Charles Betts Sophia David Maciej Matuszewski Deepka Rana Aemun Reza Ian Wei Umair Aasem Genevieve Pugh Haralambos Dayantis Madhura Ghosh Victoria Druce Design Editor Veronika McQuadeova Features Editor Lizzie Crouch Sports Editors Jovan Nedic David Wilson Science Editors Kelly Oakes Charlie Harvey Business Editors Sina Ataherian Afonso Campos Politics Editors James Lees Rory Fenton Rajat Jain Technology Editor Samuel Gibbs Feroz Salam Comment Editor Anna Perman Jan Piotrowski Arts Editor Rox Middleton Music Editors Greg Power Christopher Walmsley Luke Turner Film Editors Jade Hoffman Ed Knock TV Editors Matt Allinson Veronika McQuadeova Food Editors Dana Li Vicky Jeyaprakash Fashion Editor Saskia Verhagen Games Editor Simon Worthington Online Editors Niharika Midha Dakshaa Rai Chris Birkett Jonathan Kim International Editor Kenneth Lee Puzzles Captains Polly Bennett James Hook Aman Nahar Photo Editors Miles Robertson Thomas Welch Travel Editor Chris Richardson Copy Editors Alex Nowbar Hannah Thomas Sharanya Subbu Ritika Gupta Zainab Ali Shruti Mishra Sophia Man Tim Arbabzadah Jamie Fraser Peter Roberts Illustrators Hamish Muir Benjamin Kennedy Amanda Diez Joshua Yerrell THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 3 NEWS Exeter declares £9,000 fees as A Stoic effort GSK plans to fund students

Kadhim Shubber ...Continued from Front Page A GSK spokesperson told Felix that Kadhim Shubber the number of universities raising their the scheme would not only cover the fees keeps up at the current rate and are costs of those who had paid £9,000 per The campaigning phase of the Impe- increasingly going to look at graduate year, but all fees that are under the new rial College Union Sabbatical Elections employers to pull them out of it. threshold amount. In addition, the only kicked off when STOIC TV broadcast- GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) have an- criteria for the financial aid (aside from ed a ‘Meet the Candidates’ IC News nounced a scheme along these lines successfully completing 2 years at the special on Wednesday night. with which they will guarantee to pay firm) would be the amount paid for tu- Candidates running for the next year’s off their graduates intakes’ tuition debt ition, and that background and household sabbatical and student trustee positions on completion of 2 years work at the earnings would be of no relevance. How- showcased themselves and their mani- company. The practicalities of the plan ever access to this scheme will be highly festos over the live stream found on the have not been disclosed yet as it will competitive as GSK only take 50-100 Union website. only affect graduates who will start graduates in the UK every year, and out The slated 6pm start turned out to their degree in 2012, which is when the of the thousands of applicants, only those be overambitious as the live broadcast uncapped fees come into effect. few will benefit from the scheme. started nearly an hour late. There were further delays, as technical glitches meant the sound cut off during the first round of candidates’ speeches. The format of the special edition show took after the party leaders’ debate Duke of York visits durignthe 2010 general election; each It was an impressive display of tech- er and Felix Editor candidates raised. candidate was allowed one minute to nical aptitude and collaboration from Kendall was unexpectedly put under pitch themselves uninterrupted before the Union staff and student TV sta- the spotlight himself when Elizabeth Imperial answering questions from IC News in- tion, albeit hampered by the technical Skrzypiec questioned him about his role terviewer William Prince and the live mishaps and delay. Studio presenter as Union President in the nationwide Jo Mieszkowski Twitter feed. An out–of–studio punditry William Prince was on notable form as student protests. December’s Life Sci- team were also on hand to dissect and he constantly placed candidates under ences cuts was a hot topic throughout discuss the candidates’ debate. Located the spotlight with discerning questions the program as both Deputy President in the Felix back office, IC News Pre- about their policies and wider knowl- (Education) and Presidential candidates senter Elizabeth Skrzypiec lead the dis- edge of the Union and the role they were were quizzed about their views upon the cussion with current Union President, fighting for. issue. Alex Kendall; ex–Deputy President The commentary team provided The footage from the live stream will (Clubs & Societies), Jenny Wilson; and further insight into the roles and were stay on the Union website for the Elec- ex–Felix Editor, Dan Wan. quick to point out discrepancies in the tions period. The show will serve as The event is in addition to the tradi- candidates’ debates. Dan Wan staunch- hard and lasting evidence of each candi- tional round of Hustings in the Union ly opposed the view that Felix was an date’s credentials and suitability for the bars. This year, FiveSixEight will hold its insular and male-orientated society: a positions they are running for when vot- first Hustings since opening last October. point that the IC News studio present- ing opens on the 8th of March.

Last man standing – RAG Week 2 Kadhim Shubber

Alex Nowbar perial College has, to my mind, gripped the problem of being able to deliver The Duke of York, Prince Andrew, its output internationally in a way that visited the College on Wednesday to many other universities have not been look at the translation of research and able to achieve.” education into health benefits. Impe- For some, Prince Andrew is a contro- rial prides itself on its ability to trans- versial figure. He has been accused by late its activities into applications for the shadow justice minister, Labour MP society. Chris Bryant, of being a “close friend” With a focus on healthcare, the Duke of both Colonel Gaddafi’s son Saif al- of York met health–related companies Gaddafi, and convicted Libyan gun that are developing new treatments and smuggler, Tarek Kaituni; accusations diagnosis techniques in the Imperial In- which have been strenously denied as cubator, a facility of ours that provides false. Nevertheless, the shadow Justice office and laboratory space for fledg- minister has called on David Cameron ling companies. He also addressed sim- to “dispense with the services of the ulated keyhole surgery (a field in which Duke of York”. Imperial is a significant player), which The Sir Keith O’Nions welcomed The uses one of the robotic technologies be- Duke of York’s visit saying that Imperi- ing developed by our Hamlyn Centre for al brought most value to society through Robotic Surgery, and heard about Impe- the “reach and impact of our education rial’s international partnerships in Abu and research” and that he was “proud Dhabi, Qatar and Singapore. He also that The Duke of York is keen to hear visited the Union. about some of the results of that focus Nail the guy praying for his life or the one practising his robot routine? If only he had two balloons Prince Andrew said of Imperial: “Im- for the College.” 4 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX NEWS Varsity is just two weeks away Medics and Imperial gear up for their yearly showdown, now at The Stoop Christopher Walmsley Hannah Blandford Who will come out on top this year and secure the title of the first team to win The biggest day in the Sport Imperial at The Stoop? calendar is nearly here, yes that’s right Imperial College Rugby Men’s 1st Varsity 2011 is taking place on Wednes- are currently in fierce competition with day 16th March. After an action packed University of Reading 1sts for the top day of SPORT, entertainment and ri- spot in the BUCS South Eastern 1A valry at Harlington, Ethos and Wilson League with, with not many fixtures House, the JPR Williams Cup will be left to play. Can they steal that top spot finishing off what “will be the best Var- with a chance of being promoted to the sity to date” (Medicals Club Captain, Premier League next season, let’s hope Jamie Rutter). This year the JPR Wil- so! They have won 6 out of their last 7 liams Cup has moved to a new venue matches only losing to Chichester 12-11. The Stoop, home of Harlequins RFC, With many players including Joe Har- this venue is a larger professional sta- ris, Ben Adubi, Jamie Aldridge, Max dium and is all geared up for a dazzling Joachim, Ed Labinski, Caolan Cotter display of Rugby, with exhilarating en- (c), Jack Newton, Louie Barnett and tertainment both on and off the pitch. David Wilson (Imperial College Rugby) The Stoop is the biggest venue many of and Angus Hamilton, Andrew Mowat, the players have ever had the chance of Dan Neville, Ovuefe Efeotor and El- not many matches left to play are sit- the atmosphere and stature of the venue College Rugby 1st) is looking forward to playing in and is a fantastic opportunity liot Rees (Imperial Medicals) playing in ting in an uneasy position towards the and occasion will all add to every player the atmosphere the event will bring this for all involved. their last Varsity fixture this year it is end of the leader board and Oxford contributing 110 percent to Varsity 2011. year along with the excellent rugby and 2009 & 2010 saw Imperial College shaping up to be quite an occasion for Brookes and St. Mary’s stand in their After speaking to the Medicals about excitement in the air as they aim to de- crowned the overall winners of Varsity, both teams and their supporters. way to ensure they stay in the top flight the match, Club Captain Jamie Rutter liver some “Champagne Rugby”! will this winning streak continue or will Imperial Rugby Club Captain Joe of University Rugby Union. However, said “we are expecting a challenge and If you still haven’t got a ticket there this be the year when the Medicals take Harris believes, “...the squad is going they have made the Final of the UH Cup one that we are very much looking for- are only two weeks to go, go to Ethos the number one spot? However, the big from strength to strength each week (University Hospitals) after a fantastic ward to... Having never lost the cup in or see Hannah Blandford (Sports Part- match of the day has gone to the Medi- which I know we can carry forward into performance against RUMS. The final previous years the pressure is on us to nership Administrator) Level 2M, Beit cals; 2009 Medicals Rugby won 15-7 af- the match. It will be a tough, physical will take place on 11th March, can they retain the title.” Quad, you can also buy the tickets on- ter going to extra time and last year the encounter as it is each year but the chal- win two massive matches in 6 days? When looking at the current BUCS line at www.imperial.ac.uk/sports/var- Medicals won again with a 29-13 victo- lenge of the medicals will bring out the This recent string of matches will league positions of both Imperial Col- sity. The tickets are £12 for an all day ry, “the gap between the two teams has best in us, so it should be a great game!” however have no effect on their confi- lege and Imperial Medicals and recent advance ticket (transport to and from narrowed significantly over the years, to Imperial Medicals Rugby Men’s dence, as they will without a doubt be performances this should be a fairly even The Stoop and entry to the ground) or the point where 2 out of the 3 matches 1st are in the South Eastern Premier in a different gear on the night. With contest making it a really exciting spec- £10 for an evening advance ticket (just have gone to extra time” (Medicals). League at the moment and again with such fierce rivalry between the teams, tacle! Caolan Cotter (Captain Imperial entry to the ground).

Christopher Walmsley Sponsored Editorial More student cuts Discount haircuts for Imperial students at Fresh Hairdressers

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Hamish Muir ast fortnight the College took down the Union server in a move aimed at removing an article concerning the latest antics of the rugby club. After receiving a Lcomplaint from a member of the public and an accusation of libel, the College took steps to remove the allegedly offensive material (and the rest of the Union website) from public ac- cess. This action by the College comes just weeks after IC radio was taken off the air fol- lowing concerns over the content of a show. The seemingly radical reaction of the College to these recent events has pushed the issue of student media censorship into the limelight. The College’s apparent knee-jerk reaction to the recent complaint from a member of the public over the content of an article on the Rugby Club’s website was to pull the whole Clubs & Societies server, banning access to “The College’s apparent knee-jerk reaction was to pull the whole Clubs & Societies server” any sites hosted on this server. This caused disruption to all other clubs and also to the online room booking system. The grievance alleged that the exposé of a recent rugby match contained libellous comments, an ac- cusation both the College and the Union take very seriously. The decision by the College to take down the entire Clubs & Societies server, which is hosted by the Union, faced objections from both the Union and the student body. OVERBLOWN? The move by the College to deal with the complaint was labelled an “over-reaction” by Victoria Druce takes a deeper look at the recent Union President Alex Kendall. The Union have clear procedure set out aimed at dealing with any grumbles over their media content controversies involving online student content including a network of staff responsible for fielding such issues. A complaint concern- ing any media content on a club’s website is contain material that may bring the Union with the Code of Practice that exists between the Union President the College removed first passed to the club themselves and then or College into disrepute or is of a libellous the College and the Union. The Code contains the material by pulling the Clubs and Soci- to Heather Jones, Deputy President (Clubs & nature’. The Union argued that the rugby ar- an annex, a ‘Defamation Code of Practice’, eties server, which caused the uproar from Societies), or to Chris Birkett, the systems ad- ticle was not libellous. The College’s solution designed specifically to deal with allegations Clubs trying to access their website or the ministrator of the Union website. The Union to pull the whole Clubs & Societies server of libellous material published in a Union room booking system. As the Union hosts the then decides on the course of action to take. caused far more commotion than would have publication or on a Union website. The an- server, only they have the authority to remove Kendall was surprised by the College’s line occurred had the complaint been processed nex states that although ‘the College does not any single part of the content, in this case the of action over the rugby article, commenting by the Union, who called IC’s response wish to interfere with the freedom of expres- Rugby Club’s article. Hancock agrees that “it that they had gone much further than they had “overblown”. sion enjoyed by ICU and its publications…it is much better for the Union to be in control of in the case of the grievance with IC Radio It seems the College’s involvement in this does require some safeguards to be in place this process” for this reason. over the use of racially offensive comments most recent episode of censorship was due to to enable a speedy response to an allegation The College’s involvement in this sort of on air. When the comments were determined a breakdown in communication. The switch- that defamatory material has been published’. issue is rare, this being the first time the to be in violation of the Union’s web policy, board operator, who received the complaint, In the case of the recent allegation of libel the ‘Defamation Code of Practice’ has been used the procedure worked fluidly to overcome the passed the accusation to the faculty who ap- College employed such a ‘safeguard’. The ac- since being agreed with the Union in 2007; complaint in a way that was widely viewed pear to have been wholly unprepared. The tion by the College was in accordance with Kendall hopes that it is a one off. Kendall as appropriate considering the circumstanc- Union president commented that there was the Defamation Code of Practice: ‘Where accepted the College’s apology for meddling es. The precedent for the competency of the “clearly no procedure in place”. The college there is a dispute over the existence of defam- “with the condition that [the college] think Union’s procedure for dealing with serious botched any attempt to contact the Union, atory material…the material in question shall about this (generating a new procedure for complaints makes the interference of the Col- sending a single email to Kendall’s personal be removed for the protection of the College dealing with complaints)”. The College, hav- lege over ‘rugbygate’ more surprising. account and failing dismally to find the phone and ICU while the College Secretary consults ing accepted responsibility for the lack of Union staff were “pretty angry” and remain numbers of relevant union staff (which are an arbitrator for guidance’. As such the Col- proper communication, have responded by annoyed even after the Rector’s apology, as available on Outlook). lege argue that their actions were reasonable. drawing up a “more coherent procedure for they view the action as interference by the The College accepted that there was a com- Jon Hancock, Head of the Central Secretar- the future if a member of the public com- College in the matter. Both the College and munication breakdown with the Union which iat, admits that the procedure “envisages that plains about content on the Union server” the Union take an accusation of libel very se- caused some difficulties, but defend their it will normally be the Union that will arrange with “clear lines of communication” to en- riously. The Union’s web policy is clear that response despite the outcry that it was over- for the offending material to be temporarily sure similar issues can be overcome in a less clubs and societies web content ‘should not blown as the College behaved in accordance removed” but that in being unable to contact problematic manner in future. 6 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX NEWS Kadhim Shubber “Universities are an important source of intellectual property, with only 2% of patents now owned by individuals” arriet Gliddon is the latest student to activity to include late-stage projects in join the campaign. A student campaign other high research-income universities Hthat fi rst sparked in the classrooms of including Oxford, Cambridge and UCL. Yale and burned across the world; it has The CIHE report was produced by fi nally reached Imperial College Lon- its Engineering & Manufacturing task- don. Harriet is the founder of the newest force, which is made up of heads of chapter of Universities Allied for Essen- industry, including BAE systems and tial Medicines (UAEM), here at Impe- BSkyB, as well as a number of leading rial. The organisation lobbies universi- academics. It would be wrong to consid- ties to show their commitment to aiding er these proposals in the same instance developing countries by ensuring that as the UAEM campaign. Many of the potential new drugs developed are made industry fi gures on the taskforce stand affordable in developing countries. to directly benefi t from universities re- Research at Imperial College is under- leasing their IP. way into a novel Meningitis B vaccina- Glasgow University’s “Easy Access tion. Meningitis B is an epidemic bacte- IP” initiative was not without its critics. rial meningitis and occurs throughout the Reportedly, the fi rst question asked at African meningitis belt. There is no vac- the press launch was “what do the in- cine. In January, the research received an ventors think?” highlighting concerns upfront payment of £1m in funding from that it fails to support the university’s Novartis, a world-leading pharmaceuti- researchers. In addition, a source at cal company, in exchange for the exclu- Imperial Innovations said Glasgow had sive worldwide license. Felix has learnt been “selective” in picking which IP to that the agreement was subject to a con- release and had “only chosen the ones fi dentiality clause. Due to the clause, it is that they had already tried and failed to not known whether the deal will require commercialise”. Novartis to produce the vaccine afford- The pen is mightier than the sword – Harriet Gliddon, founder of UAEM at Imperial, explains her campaign UAEM at Imperial is organised by the ably for developing world countries. MEDSIN society and was denied its so- UAEM are not the only ones engaging ciety application by the Union. Since its with universities to release intellectual launch this year, it has already held the property (IP). On Monday, the Coun- UAEM-Europe Conference, attended cil for Industry and Higher Education The Battle for Imperial’s by Nobel prize-winning bioethicist Pro- (CIHE) published a report urging uni- fessor John Sulsto. UAEM are engaged versities to share their ideas more freely. in ongoing dialogue with Imperial Inno- However, the case for releasing IP is not vations to achieve their campaign goal. black-and-white. Intellectual Property Gliddon told Felix of her concerns In the current economic climate, that Imperial Innovations were “not go- CIHE argues that universities could ing to listen to us” as “for them the be have a signifi cant impact in kick-start- By Ben Scally all and end all is money”. She argues ing UK manufacturing. According to “it’s a privilege for a company to get ac- the council, “our taskforce has found cess to university’s research”. that the simple act of universities open- universities have contributed to simi- is now a plc on the London stock ex- Imperial Innovations is unusual for a ing their vast knowledge banks and pro- lar occurrences in Massachusetts and change with Imperial College holding university technology transfer offi ce in viding free access to their intellectual Silicon Valley. Most university IP is al- only a 30.3% share. Innovations helps its status as a private company. Gliddon property would have the single biggest ready released freely when research is researchers to get to grips with technol- commented, “this is despicable - they impact on accelerating the capability published. Only ideas that have yet to ogy transfer, and undertake fi ling of pat- should be answering to the university and growth of smart manufacturing in be published can be patented in the UK ents and product licensing. In a minor- not to bankers in the city”. the country”. CIHE’s report cites an and Europe, but published ideas can be ity of start-ups, they help academics to An ethical statement on the Impe- initiative launched last year by Glasgow patented in the US. set up ‘spin-off’ business. Innovations rial Innovations website states that they University, “Easy Access IP” which Imperial College is one of the most currently have 81 of these ‘spin-off’ “will seek assurances from commercial aims to give away university IP to busi- important sources of IP nationally and businesses in their portfolio. However partners that wherever possible they nesses for free. fi led for 48 patents in the 2009-10 aca- in the vast majority, they help research- will make available licensed technolo- Universities currently represent an demic year. It trails behind Cambridge ers fi nd industrial partners to advance gies and products to developing coun- important source of intellectual prop- and Oxford Universities who fi led for their product. Imperial College retains tries for locally affordable prices”. How- erty (IP), with only 2% of patents now 124 and 73 patents respectively. How- a share of these businesses but doesn’t ever, Gliddon told Felix “I don’t think owned by private individuals. In the ever, Imperial leads against UCL, which pay for any failures, making it a ‘no they even try”. past, it has not been unusual for univer- fi led for just 35 patents in the year pre- win, no fee’ arrangement for the college ‘A Global Village’, Imperial College’s sities to take a liberal stance on IP and vious. and researchers. Innovations receive international affairs journal, will be the economic repercussions are well Imperial Innovations is a company 3-400 ideas every year from inventive hosting a panel discussion entitled “Big established. The ‘Cambridge Phenom- with ownership access to IP generated academics and this leads to the fi ling of Pharma and Global Health: The Role of enon’, which began over 50 years ago, at Imperial College that translates re- between 40 and 60 patents. Each year, Intellectual Property”. This event takes led to a cluster of technology-based search into commercial products. Al- Innovations spends hundreds of thou- place at the Business School on Monday business start-ups exploding from the though Innovations started life as the sands of pounds in fi ling and defending 7th March and tickets are available on- university’s research activity. In the US, college’s technology transfer offi ce, it these patents. They are extending their line now. THE PARTY WHERE EVERYONE GETS HOOKED UP

student only launch party!

sssssssssssssssssssssssssss PLEASE NOTE THIS IS NOT A SINGLES EVENT…. JUST 250 SINGLE PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN ONE ROOM. THAT’S 500 SINGLE PEOPLE WANTING TO MEET EACH OTHER FOR SOME FUN TIMES! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SPEED DATING, SPEED RATING OR DATE CARD RATING. ITS JUST LIKE BEING IN YOUR SU OR ANY BAR IN LONDON BUT KNOWING THAT EVERYONE IS SINGLE. SO WITH 250 GIRLS AND 250 BOYS GUARANTEED, YOU DO THE FLIPPIN MATHS! sssssssssssssssssssssssssss MUSIC PROVIDED BY MEDDLERS RESIDENTS 11 MARCH 2011 / 20:00 £5- 02:00 TICKET SSSHH! ssss ONLINE ONLYFRIDAY £5.00 11TH MARCH 6:30PM-LATE METRIC CLUB THERES A GUARANTEED EVEN Buy ticketsIMPERIAL online NOW COLLEGE at UNION RATIO OF SINGLE BOYS AND GIRLS imperialcollegeunionBEIT .org/QUADRANGLEmetric - YOU ARE MATHEMATICALLY PPRINCERINCE CCONSORTONSORT RRDD PREDICTED TO HOOK UP WITH AT LLONDON,ONDON SSW77W77 2BB2BB LEAST ONE PERSON! Let’s beat Sabbatical last-year’s record 2011 turnout!

Check online for the latest turnout stats during voting!

Voting Opens 8 March 00:01

Voting Closes 12 March 23:59 THE DAILY FELIX FRIDAY 4th MArch 2011 9

Voting opens on Tuesday 8th at 00:01 and closes Saturday 12th at 23:59 www.imperialcollegeunion.org/elections for voting and more info PRESIDENT You can also vote to Re-Open Nominations (RON) Naida Dzigal

uring my time at Imperial I’ve -Better representing minority and role to students at crucial times easier access to the Union workings. Dbeen involved with many clubs, non-represented groups by giving (e.g. include a list of each student’s (Felix issue on how the union works) including RAG, Political Philosophy, them the support they need(e.g. in- contact points before they arrive to Finally, the most important role Tennis, Volleyball and Union Court tegrating the GSA into the extensive university: their dep rep, tutors, hall of the President is to promote and to name a few. These past 4 years Union system and along with it, the senior, subwarden, Sabbatical Offi - advance student interests, their wel- have been an irreplaceable expe- graduate students); cers, FU committee); fare and education without prejudice rience of Union life and this is the -Encouraging joint society events -Adding a forum-style website to at all times. Hopefully, you’ve been main reason I’ve decided to stand in Union facilities in order to encour- Imperial’s network where students convinced that the Union IS its mem- for President. I’ve noticed that the age dialogue and ideas exchange be- can evaluate landlords/rent their bers. The greater the involvement, Union can always do more and see tween clubs and societies. rooms during the Summer; the more advantageous the out- next year’s Sabbatical team concen- -Improving the representation and -Increasing the student voice with come, so please do vote; a wasted trating on: welfare network by advocating its meaningful Union referendums and vote is a mockery of democracy. Scott Heath

tudents need a Union President providing poor quality food at higher which will mean student offi cers can This election, only you have the op- Swith great ideas and the ability than reasonable prices. I want it to spend less time planning and more portunity to allow me to keep taking to implement them. I will bring both be the year we guarantee value for time enjoying their activities. I will in- our union from strength to strength. of these to our Union. money for every student in his or her crease our profi ts over the summer Vote Experience. Vote Ideas. Vote As the current RCSU President I halls of residence. I want it to be the vacation in order to provide more Heath. am the most experienced candidate year where your Union makes a Guin- funding for Clubs and Societies and – I sit on most Union committees ness World Record attempt and has greater investment in our facilities. and represent 30% of students at bigger names playing in our club. I will increase service times so you Imperial. With me as your President, next queue less at the bars and develop When it comes to ideas; I have year will be the one where we strive a web-based system to help you fi nd many. I want the next academic year for effi ciency. I will continue to work part-time work at the Union and in to be the one where we stop Imperial towards computerising processes the local area. Danish Khan

eing the Union President is all Improving the nights out at Metric around South Kensington, Fulham, 11pm, get departments to provide Babout making your lives at Impe- with a wider variety of music and Hammersmith and other areas with some model answers to past papers, rial easier and more fun and here is better promotion of events to draw a large number of Imperial students. have a regular casual meeting where what I’m going to do to make Impe- a larger crowd. Also I would extend This will help students organise ca- you can discuss your ideas with me rial a better experience for you. Metric’s closing time to at least 3am sual events with friends and give and introduce a games room. Push for a system that will enable on weekends. societies a wider range of booking Imperial ID cards to be used as a Have more halal meat available in options. means of payment on campus. I the university and introduce kosher Although the incoming President have contacted ICT and Jemma Mor- meat. All the food will also be la- is expected to bring big ideas to the ris, head of catering operations, who belled to make it clear what is ko- table it is often the small changes have confi rmed that this is possible sher and what is halal. that are most noticed. So I also plan to implement. Subsidise selected sports halls to have the library gate open after WELFAREDeputy President More Deputy President (Welfare) manifestos on the next page Jehan Pasangha

i, I’m a second year bioengineer. I union and have had the opportunity al students in their year of entry sues students are most ignorant of. Hleft Sri Lanka only 16 months ago of working closely with the current DP Lobby College to freeze tuition fees Support the GSA and clubs & so- to come to Imperial and have enjoyed Welfare.If elected as DPW I will: for international students so that the cieties to organize social events in every bit of it so far. My involvement Increase bursaries for home stu- fees they would pay in their fi nal year summer for post-graduate students. with the union started when I joined dents would the same as in their fi rst year. I will visit one hall every fortnight some clubs and societies before be- Lobby college to increase bursa- Make campaign weeks more effec- and speak to students directly about coming the treasurer of Bioengineer- ries, so that future increase in tu- tive any issues they face. ing and Everynation Societies. It was ition fees will have minimal effect on Follow up on surveys carried out I’m very friendly and approachable, only after my election as the union’s students from families with average this year to fi nd out the effectiveness so if you have any questions about international offi cer, that I got in- income. of campaign weeks and focus more my plans please don’t hesitate to volved with the welfare section of the Freeze tuition fees for internation- on campaign weeks that address is- drop me an email. [email protected] 10 FRIDAY 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Voting opens on Tuesday 8th at 00:01 www.imperialcollegeunion.org/elections WELFARE for voting and more info You can also vote to Re-Open Nominations (RON) Nicolas Massie

ello. I’m a fi fth year medical stu- fare Offi cer Information packs and Things for the after(Imperial)-life Union, fi rst as a member of several Hdent and if you elect me I WILL training I will revamp volunteering at Impe- different clubs/societies/projects, improve the student experience – I’ll cut down on but improve Cam- rial College so that you can do what then as SCC Chair, then CAG Chair from beginning to end. What you paign Weeks you want to do, despite the closure of this year. In these capacities I’ve sat need, when you need it. Is he mad? I’ll set up a Union accommodation the ImperialVolunteerCentre on most of the central Union com- No. I have a plan: website mittees (Exec/Council/RWB/CSB/ Before they land I will make pro- I’ll continue Charlotte-the-current- This sounds like a ridiculous list but NPC) and am very ready to make a spective freshers/PGs more com- DPW’s efforts in setting up a GUM it is entirely achievable and I am very difference full-time. I haven’t always fortable through a dedicated on- clinic at the Health Centre open to suggestion. You can tick my aspired to be a Sabb but there is too line forum with a MDT-TM (Mums/ I’ll target PGs and ensure that the online boxes. Over the past fi ve years much work to do to step away now. DadsTool-TradeMark) GSA continues its excellent, though I have developed an understanding Vote NicolasMassie. What you Here I’ll support and further Wel- recent efforts. of the student population and of the want, when you need it. Mevani Jagodage

s the current RCSU Welfare Of- vices are not widely advertised. How fare system to meet the needs of roles effectively Afi cer, Law Society President and many of the 22 welfare services at individuals •Full implementation of the buddy Wilkinson Hall Senior, I come from Imperial can you name? Time, mon- •Cheaper, healthier and more var- system a Union-based welfare background ey and effort are put into campaign ied food options including late night •Every member of the welfare with experience and new ideas to im- weeks, for a low turnout, leading to food outlets structure, from faculty welfare offi - prove the system. With continuous a decrease in our reputation with ex- •Better basic facilities like cleaner cers to year reps, is part of one uni- direct student contact from a variety ternal organisations. toilets and more water fountains on fi ed welfare system to achieve one of backgrounds, approachability is The welfare structure needs to be campus goal- improving student satisfaction one of my strong attributes. changed and I am willing, organised •There is a step towards afford- Vote Mevani for an enhanced stu- The current weekly awareness and dedicated to ensure this occurs. able accommodation near the col- dent experience, quality services and campaigns are not having the de- If elected, I will ensure: lege for students approachable friendly care! For more sired effects and the welfare ser- •A more focused and tailored wel- •Personal tutors carry out their information see www.mevani.com EDDeputyUCATION President Stefan Bauer

uring my 4 years at Imperial, I have been made that will have a full potential and to iron out prob- able increase in tuition fees in Dhave enjoyed the responsibility signifi cant impact on student lives lems where they may occur, so it 2012, it is important that the uni- of holding many positions in clubs in the near future and it is crucial to can succeed. versity’s academic commitment & societies’ committees within the ensure that everybody gets the best Postgraduate representation is mirrors the fi nancial commitment of Union, such as the Handball Club, out of their time at Imperial. important, but there is a long way the prospective students. It will be the German Society and the ACC The changes to feedback quality between the fi rst point of contact crucial to deal with any issues that and I have grown fond of the college and timeliness, including a feed- and the Sabbatical Offi cers. Pro- arise in the forthcoming year with and its students. Now, I want to use back code of practise have been a viding a solid PG representation the student body in mind in order to my experience and commitment step in the right direction, making system that works well will help in- ensure that Imperial stays as good and represent the student body on Imperial a more effi cient and dy- formation to fl ow in both directions as it is. the highest level. namic academic environment. I aim more effi ciently. In the past year, many decisions to ensure it is implemented to its With the upcoming and unavoid- Jason Parmar

y name is Jason Parmar and I are something I take very seriously. I recorded podcasts for all our lecture Vote J.P for D.P.E for improved Mhave what it takes to be the next will fi ght to make sure that any chang- courses. coursework and exam feedback. Deputy President for Education. es are effective, yet reasonable, and We study at a world-class universi- Vote J.P for D.P.E for your voice to I’m currently a Chemistry under- are in all of our best interests. ty; we deserve to have ALL our lecture be heard. graduate studying towards a four-year If elected I will work with all students material to be of a world-class quality Representing every demographic at degree with Management. and staff to fi nd a timetable structure so we can be world-class graduates. Imperial. Being an Imperial student isn’t the that fi ts everyone’s needs. We’re not Vote J.P for D.P.E for podcasts of Representing you. easiest of tasks. It’s diffi cult to bal- all perfect; sometimes we do miss lecture courses. Go to http://www. ance the demanding workload we get lectures, be it because of the Eyjafjal- Vote J.P for D.P.E for better quality facebook.com/home. from our respective courses with our lajökull volcanic eruption or from not lecture notes. php?sk=group_202852719741906 other commitments. knowing your limits the night before. Vote J.P for D.P.E for SOLE to have or www.twitter.com/votejpfordpe The proposed timetabling changes I believe it’s time for us to bring in more of an impact. for more information THE DAILY FELIX FRIDAY 4th MArch 2011 11

Voting closes on Saturday 12th at 23:59 www.imperialcollegeunion.org/elections for voting and more info FINANCES & SERVICES You can also vote to Re-Open Nominations (RON) Rebecca Clark

i! I’m Rebecca Clark, and I’d like Ball. the Summer Ball by providing more is possible and make sure that the Hto improve your Union. I’m run- With Phase Three fi nished and the dancing. introduction of BACS reimbursement ning for DPFS because I feel that bars open, there is little improve- For Clubs’ fi nances, there are runs smoothly. having worked in the Union Finance ment needed and so I will not make many areas in need of improve- I will also always give as much Offi ce and been part of the SCC any changes which would disrupt the ment. The fi nance manuals should time as possible to students, since Exec, I can be effective in making present high standards of service. be simpler and more accessible, re- your input is vital to giving you the the real improvements needed in I will try to introduce more varied claiming VAT should be easy so that Union you want! the Clubs’ fi nance system. Further, Ents in Metric; extend the Union’s clubs stop losing money, and we having organised a large convention, kitchen hours and menu; will try and need much more training for CSC/ I have the experience as well as the make CID cards valid proof of age FU treasurers so that they can bet- enthusiasm needed to continue im- (and persuade local pubs to accept ter help their clubs. I will get Club fi - proving Union Ents and the Summer them) and will try to further improve nances dealt with online as much as Michael Foster

n my four years at Imperial, I’ve Bar Nights. If elected to DPFS, I will: processes and forms online, I will year. However, students have com- Itwice been president of Ultimate -Install a U-Pay cashless payment streamline the Union fi nance system plained about the slow service due Frisbee and am currently treasurer system: I will ensure the successful and make it easier for committees to to the lack of staff. I would make the of the ACC. These roles have pro- roll-out of cashless payments using run their clubs. bars friendlier work environments, to vided a deep involvement with Union your college cards at the Union’s -Run more postgraduate events: encourage more bar staff to wish to fi nances, from knowing the issues bars and retail outlets. This will sig- Working with the GSA, I will continue work there, speeding up bar service. faced by clubs to the skills neces- nifi cantly speed up till service. to increase opportunities for post- For more, visit tinyurl.com/ sary to administer large budgets and -Introduce reformed online Union graduate involvement in the Union dpfs2011 group fi nances. Similarly, I’ve gained fi nances: I know all too well the through more events aimed at them. experience in running large events, reams of paperwork clubs, societ- -Improve service in Metric and from weekend-long tournaments to ies and projects have to go through 568: The Union has opened fantastic club nights in Metric, including ACC to run their club. By moving more new entertainment venues in the last Chia Lim

hy DPFS? Throughout my three modate students’ needs. I feel that since high school. Furthermore, I ies made me aware of the need for Wyears in college, I have gained I am up to the task of bringing about have also been involved in organiz- an easily accessible online fi nancial many enjoyable experiences through potential improvements to the Union. ing International Night and Malay- system. This would accelerate the being involved with the Union. The Why me? sian Night, both of which were very process of claims and reduce the time has come for me to pay it for- I am highly committed, very driven successful. Hence, I believe that I risk of mistakes through paper re- ward by sharing these experiences and learn quickly on the job. My am well-equipped with the neces- cords. with fellow students, and possibly current role as the OSC treasurer sary skills for DPFS. Besides fulfi ll- 2) Effective training schemes for even improving on them. More im- involves taking care of the fi nances ing the duties of the current DPFS, the committees of societies. portantly, this is a most challenging and events planning of more than I intend to implement the following ‘Services’ Proposal: role as it involves being responsible 40 international societies. This is proposals: 1) Feedback system that can help for the fi nances of a million pound- on top of my long history of dealing ‘Finance’ Proposal: me to reach out to students regard- organisation that seeks to accom- with money for clubs and societies 1) Dealing with clubs and societ- ing their VOTE RON (Re-Open Nominations)

or every election, you will carefully before voting for RON, but who you think is unsuitable. Even if get the chance to vote for do not be afraid of doing so. The you think the election is a complete Don’t reckon that any of the RON, which means you ability to say ‘none of the above’ by farce and the entire Union will come think the election should voting for RON is a democratic right crashing down whatever the result, candidates for any of the start again with a new set noticeably absent from other elec- log on and vote for RON. RON won’t Fof nominations. Vote for RON if you tions in the UK. Since this election directly make the place better, but it positions are good enough? believe that none of the candidates uses the STV ranking system, you will allow time for other candidates would be right for the job. Please can vote for RON in any position, to stand, and it certainly won’t make read the candidates’ manifestos ranking it higher than any candidate the situation worse! Don’t waste your vote! Vote RON! 12 FRIDAY 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Voting opens on Tuesday 8th at 00:01 www.imperialcollegeunion.org/elections FELIX EDITOR for voting and more info You can also vote to Re-Open Nominations (RON) Matthew Colvin

orking on Felix over the past tion that students of Imperial will -Social events promoting Felix tain the high standards of reporting Wtwo years has been an abso- continue to have fun reading and will be held each term in order to it has enjoyed, mixed with its own lute joy. Joining the heady world of helping out with: keep momentum going and encour- unique, even better, brand of hu- news reporting as a humble fresher -You write it, it goes in. There will age long-term involvement beyond mour to see you through lectures. was a rush, but once I got going it be no barriers to student content. the start of term when interest can Let’s keep breaking down the per- was - and continues to be - an amaz- -I will encourage section editors to quickly fade. ception of Felix as an exclusive club ing experience that I genuinely wish have regular face-to-face meetings -Videos across sections will be because, let’s face it, it shouldn’t more people were involved with. with interested contributors, so that made available online, tying into be; it’s open to everyone. Let’s make My aims will build on Kadhim’s out- everyone can discuss their sections, each week’s content - from roving it more of a community rather than a standing work this year and oversee get to know each other and bring to- news reports to the latest reviews. club or society. the evolution of Felix as a publica- gether everyone’s strengths. -Felix under my editorship will re- Alexander Karapetian

y vision for Felix is twofold. A their phones regardless of physical aforementioned app. This would be Assuming the role of News Editor, Mrealisation of the growing use issue availability. phased in whilst maintaining a high I have co-managed the section and of mobile technology for media con- Secondly, I intend to transform the level of approachability and sociabil- gained considerable experience with sumption coupled with experience idea of any Imperial student writing ity within the Felix image and myself. the paper, handling several pages of with software programming enabled for Felix into a reality. I promise to Having operated under two Chief investigative news and layout every me to take the lead in developing a take criticisms from the student body Editors during my time in Felix, week to ensure the section’s produc- Felix mobile app. I aim to polish the regarding the paper into account, and spending over a year actively as- tion to the highest standard in both online presence of Felix and give the would invite potential contributors to suming the roles of News Reporter, content and coverage. I ultimately paper an entry point into the world of express interest or submit articles Photographer and Copy Editor, I have aspire to bring this to the entire pa- mobile media, allowing students to and opinions through a variety of gained an overwhelming sense of at- per, and your vote can make it hap- read issues in a manner tailored to new means, including the website or tachment and pride for the paper. pen. Indy Leclercq

’m a third-year physics student cur- -Firstly, I think that this year’s edi- importance of student contributions very own mobile app. Interactive Irently on a year abroad in Valen- tor is doing a great job and I fully to Felix. I want to get you as involved and accessible to all, it would be a cia, Spain. Having been sports edi- intend to maintain the high level of as possible, using the power of so- cutting-edge innovation catering to a tor for Felix last year and a regular quality already present in Felix. From cial media but also regular Felix stu- tech-savvy student body. Comment contributor this year, I am this solid base, my aim is to deliver dent events (like this year’s music These points are expanded in very familiar with the workings of Fe- even more content in a variety of nights) so that it’s easy to meet the much more detail at www.voteindy. lix and am absolutely committed to sections, from a “numbers of the people behind the paper, and get in- com. You can also ask me anything making an informative but entertain- week” news page to a sports cap- volved yourself. in person as I will be in college dur- ing paper the way students want it. tains “fi tness head to head” feature, -Finally, my ultimate objective for ing the campaign. See you around! My campaign is based on three for example. next year is to make Felix a truly points : -Secondly, I want to emphasize the modern newspaper by giving it its CLUBSDeputy President & SOCIETIES Monya Zard

i I’m Monya and throughout my 4 sionate about. And in freeing up more for Clubs & Societies -train club offi cers more effi ciently- Hyears at Imperial I have been ri- of their time, they can then put more -aid smaller clubs in bidding to- fully utilising club handovers diculously enthusiastic about Clubs energy into making their club the best gether for Sponsorship -ensure club offi cers are recog- & Societies; holding posts from Sec- it can be. If elected, I promise to: -introduce a club ‘health check’ nised for their efforts retary of Physoc to ACC Chair. I have Improve the experience of club -tackle storage space and the I intend to bring new ideas to the shown commitment to supporting members: room booking system role by working to eliminate common club offi cers, organising events and -a combined wet/dry weather plan Make life easier for Club & Society problems experienced by all clubs. representing the ACC. for Freshers’ Fayre offi cers As ACC Chair I have already proved Through my experience, I believe -increase postgrad participation -continue moving club fi nances on- I have the energy and understanding I can improve systems in place for -ensure members get what they line required for the job (as well as bags the student offi cers who dedicate so want from clubs -provide CSC/FU offi cers with more of patience!), and I want to take on much time to activities they are pas- Make activities bigger and better on-the-job training the challenge of DPCS! THE DAILY FELIX FRIDAY 4th MArch 2011 13

Voting closes on Saturday 12th at 23:59 www.imperialcollegeunion.org/elections for voting and more info STUDENT TRUSTEES Joseph Rumer, Kandeeban You can also vote to Re-Open Nominations (RON) Gopalakrishnan, Muhammed Khas and Nathaniel Bottrell are also running for Student Trustee but they Dominic Andradi-Brown did not submit manifestos to Felix.

would like to be a Student Trustee the interests of everybody and in a and other fi nance sources for major their budgets, as well as assisting Ibecause over the past three years cost effective way. equipment investment (2 boats). them in planning their club fi nances of volunteering in the Union, I’ve Over the past few years I have been This year I have been on the RCC into the future. grown to really care about the Union extremely involved in Union Clubs and Exec as Secretary. During my time My experiences over the past few and Students, and I believe that I Societies and taken a very strong in- on the RCC Exec I have ensured that years have well prepared me with have the right experience to become terest in Union Policy. Last year I was RCC meetings have run smoothly by the knowledge and skills required to more involved at a higher level. Chair of Underwater Club. As such, making certain all papers are circu- take on the role of Student Trustee. Being a Student Trustee would be I was involved in major long term fi - lated in good time, allowing more ef- really important for me and if you nancial decisions on the future of the fective decision making at meetings. voted for me I would work hard to club. This required planning and us- I have also helped several clubs with make sure the Union is being run in ing money from the Harlington Trust their general fi nance and writing Eugene Chang

i there! I’m a 2nd year Bioengi- Council) and working groups, redraft- how the Union works, hierarchically experience are key to a successful Hneering PhD student and did ing Union Policies and even helping to and fi nancially. In particular, I have student-led Union. We already have my undergraduate Maths degree repaint the Union one summer. In ad- worked closely with Sabbatical Of- a great Union and fantastic student here, so I’ve been around awhile! I dition I spent two years in Pembridge fi cers in some aspect for every year offi cers with great ideas – all we have been involved in the Union for Hall as a sub-warden (’08-’10), liais- since 2005 and have a strong aware- now need as a Trustee is experience many years – serving as club Offi cer ing with the Union on pastoral care ness of ideas and projects that have and somebody who has been there, (various, ’05 – present), Union Of- and organising inter-hall events. succeeded or failed in the past. done that but still cares passionate- fi cer (RCC and OSC chair in ’07-’08 I have seen plenty of changes in Subsequently, I feel suitably quali- ly about the Union! Please contact and ’08-’09 respectively), working in the Union in the last seven years fi ed to stand for a position as Trust- me if you have any further questions Student Activities Centre, sitting on (such as the entire Union redevelop- ee of the Union. I strongly believe about my manifesto. Union Committees (New Clubs, CSB, ment), and gained a real insight in to that continuity, enthusiasm and Ravi Pall

i, I’m Ravi Pall. You may know ings of the Union, I will bring a pro- man. I promise you, my fellow stu- Hme as your Deputy President active and knowledgeable viewpoint dents, that you will be well repre- (Finance & Services). I’ve been a to the Trustee Board. I believe I’m sented and that the Union will thrive! Student Trustee before and have sat the most qualifi ed person for the on the Trustee Board all of this year. job. If you want the Union to deliver Being a Student Trustee is about on all fronts, including the long-term helping to secure the long-term in- development of our new bars and terests of Imperial College Union, to nightclub, or simply want someone which I will give a defi nitive student who actually understands the Union opinion. With my prior experience fi nances, which is very important and my insights to the inner work- on the Trustee Board, then I’m your Abdul Patel

am running for a position as a stu- person. I will demand good answers. Ident trustee for one reason and I will make myself available to lis- I am a fi rm believer that it should one reason only – you, the people! ten to ideas and suggestions from be the people that make the deci- I feel the students should have a all students. I PROMISE to relay sions and not just the chiefs on top. greater say in decision making re- these ideas brought to me to the So please vote for me if you want garding the union and the college in meetings and I will ensure that they someone that will fi ght for you and general. are heard. makes sure your voices are heard! The board needs someone that is I will bring up certain issues that not afraid to voice what the students bother a number of students, such are feeling and I believe I am that as the ETHOS time restrictions, and Miles Robertson

n an era of spending cuts and tu- ept at communicating and helping ic.ac.uk :-) Iition fee rises, the responsibility of resolve students’ concerns. the Union to provide good services It is a cliché but the Union does and value for money is more impor- need to be more transparent. I tant than ever before. would help improve this by making Having spent a year as CGCU links with the student body and help- Events Offi cer, I am comfortable ing to answer any queries people with being on a committee and mak- may have about the Union. ing my voice heard. I have also been If anyone has any questions, feel a hall senior (go HWJ!) and am ad- free to contact me at mr3209@ THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 14

Science Editors: Charlie Harvey Kelly Oakes [email protected] SCIENCE Has the Media failed Science? Sci-Fi Column Maciej Matuszewski Chris Richardson hen was the fi rst panel member to fl ip the question on its head, asking instead I’ve done very few book reviews over This year’s BioSoc debate, held last ‘has science failed the media?’ Indeed, the past few weeks so I thought that I’d Thursday in the Sir Alexander Fleming scientists could be held accountable for remedy this today by reviewing one of Building, turned out a huge success. The some major media scandals in recent the most well known and respected se- provocative debate title ‘Has the media years, such as the alleged links between ries of science fi ction novels: Frank Her- failed Science?’, albeit a little mislead- autism and the MMR vaccine. His gen- bert’s Dune. ing to the speakers who were expecting eral point was that at times both sides The fi rst Dune book follows the for- some fi erce opposition, was always go- have failed to live up to standards for tunes of the Atreides family sent to rule ing to invoke some great input from the whatever reason, but more recently the planet Arrakis, also known as Dune, audience and speakers alike. we’ve seen progression to a better rela- by the galactic emperor. On the face of The evening kicked off with some tionship between the science and media it, this is a great opportunity as Arrakis great points from the Times Science communities. is the only source of the valuable spice Correspondent Hannah Devlin, who Gareth Mitchell, a convenor of Im- melange, a potent drug which can drasti- rightly noted the unfortunate confl ict of perial’s Science Communication MSc, cally increase the human lifespan. The interest between the two fi elds of work: also focussed on modern progression, assignment, however, soon turns out to science is a discipline of evidence and but this time with reference to social me- be a trap as the emperor has allied him- truth–seeking whereas journalism is dia elements like tweeting and podcast- self with the Artreides’ deadly enemies, very much about sales, and unfortunate- ing. Campaigns such as Science is Vi- the Harkonnen, who launch a surprise ly those all–too–familiar sensationalist tal, spearheaded by Imperial’s Stephen attack. Duke Leto Atreides is killed and headlines seem to sell all too well. Curry and others, probably wouldn’t be his family fl ee to the wilderness of the Next, Imperial alumnus and author so successful were it not for such tools. desert planet where they must learn to Simon Singh shed some light on the im- While there is of course still the dan- survive and plot revenge. portance of accurate representation, re- ger of misinformation being spread, Those who haven’t read the novel freshingly steering clear of the perhaps social media now makes it easier for shouldn’t be put off by this wholly inad- slightly over–discussed libel case. After people to better inform the previously equate description or by David Lynch‘s noting such representation as “incred- ill–informed and point out problems. distinctly mediocre fi lm adaptation. ibly important”, the audience cackled A fi nal show of hands requested by This is an amazing book, with interest- away to some hilarious anecdotes as, in Richard Black, who chaired the meet- ing characters and a complex, rewarding true Simon Singh style, he recounted the ing to perfection, brought us to the and suspenseful story which, at points, tedious but necessary process of com- realisation that neither science nor the had me literally gasping with surprise. plaining to journalists when they get it media are to blame, and that this mul- Herbert’s real achievement, however, catastrophically wrong. Don’t make scientists angry – they have chemicals and atoms and things tifactorial issue is certainly improving is in the universe he created in this book. Much to everyone’s amusement, as we learn from the mistakes of yes- It is rich, detailed and has a well devel- Singh recalled being told to “go and teryear. oped back–story. Its centrepiece is of fuck yourself” when raising some que- age from a BBC show where a patient the incredible doses of powerful seda- Overall some very interesting discus- course Arrakis itself, a deeply alien yet ries about a rather dubious programme undergoes open heart surgery with no tives surging through the patient’s body sion from engaging speakers and a very realistic feeling place. It is a place where on global warming. Singh then went general anaesthetic, but via the magic of – I guess modern medicine isn’t so bad well organised event. Kudos to BioSoc; giant worms roam the sand and where on to scrutinise the wonderful world acupuncture. after all. I, for one, am very much looking for- water is so scarce that most inhabitants of alternative medicine, showing foot- Of course the show failed to mention Head of BBC Science, Andrew Co- ward to next year’s debate. have to wear “stillsuits” which recycle their sweat and urine. The planet’s population, the Fremen, are an ancient, proud people who Herbert created us- ing strong Arabic infl uences. I can think of no other book in the entire genre of Deep voice sign of shallow personality science fi ction which has as well devel- oped a setting as this. It is certainly on par with even Lord of The Rings. Charlie Harvey tractive, and so more likely to be playing You might have noticed that I’ve been the fi eld. carefully referring to only the fi rst book. Men with deep and manly voices are The study also showed that males Herbert wrote six Dune novels, each more likely to be judged as unfaithful by are not totally to blame – men viewed worse than the previous one. The plots woman, compared to those with a higher woman’s voices that were altered to ap- begin to get far too convoluted, to the vocal register – good news, perhaps, for pear more feminine as likely to belong point where I barely understood what Joe Pasquale. to an unfaithful individual. Oestrogen, was going on and the story begins to The research, published in the journal like testosterone, is positively associated feel boring. The later novels also have Evolutionary Psychology, also found with attractiveness, and affects the pitch a bizarre and totally unnecessary focus that women viewed the deeper voices as of the voice. In this case, higher oestro- on sex. The graphic sex scene between more sexually attractive. The voices of gen levels raise the pitch of a voice. Duncan and Murbella in ‘Heretics of 49 males were digitally altered to create The study highlights a confl ict of Dune’ is almost unbearable. masculine and feminine versions, which interest among sexual partners. Each Herbert’s death in 1986 left the series were then rated by female volunteers. wants the other to remain faithful, while unfi nished but his son, Brian Hebert, Previous studies have linked testos- simultaneously being free to pursue oth- wrote two sequels (as well as countless terone, the male sex hormone, with at- ers. For males, this is to prevent cuck- prequels and even interquels) in partner- tractiveness; high levels produce “sexy” oldry, while for females it is the risk of ship with Kevin J. Anderson. While they features such as a strong chin and brow STIs that create this demand for faith- have been almost universally panned by and larger muscle mass. It is also associ- fulness. the critics, they are infi nitely better than ated with voice pitch – more testoster- This is the fi rst study to show that Frank Herbert’s own later work: at least one equals a more sonorous tone. voice pitch is but another tool in the ar- I could fi nd some fi nd some excitement The researchers believe that a deep senal of characteristics that we all use to and follow the plot. voice is seen as unfaithful, because judge one another’s value as a potential My advice is to read the fi rst book and these individuals are more sexually at- sexual partner. Barry White can’t get enough of your love, babe – sleazebag... forget about the rest. I,SCIENCE THE SCIENCE MAGAZINE OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNSEEN SCIENCE IS SEEING BELIEVING?

PLUS: ARE OUR CITIES RUN BY MATHEMATICAL RULE? CAN WE SUSTAIN SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE? STUDENT SCIENCE: THE SCIENCE OF A HANGOVER HOW DID THE DINOSAURS DIE? INTERVIEWS WITH LORD JENKIN & SIR PATRICK MOORE

out FRIDAY,11th march

FIND I, SCIENCE AT ALL NORMAL FELIX A FELIX Publication DISTRIBUTION POINTS 16 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Business Editors: Sina Ataherian Afonso Campos BUSINESS [email protected] FIG grows by fi nding eleven more businesses to invest in The fi nale to Sina Ataherian’s two-part interview with James King, CEO of FIG

n 2009, James King founded university students who cannot do that. Find Invest Grow (FIG). FIG is There are also other advantages to being a young company that funds and a university student. They have the best supports promising enterprises resources. They are surrounded by con- started-up by university students, nections. These are very diffi cult to get includingI from Imperial College. James if you are not a university student, but it currently serves as its CEO. The fi rm is is not impossible. involved with fi fteen different student- led businesses, across a broad range of Many students face a dilemma in de- sectors: sports equipment, online retail, ciding whether to start up their own lingerie, and user-generated news. businesses because it would mean In part one of the interview, James missing out on graduate programmes. shared his thoughts on the broader econ- Do you have any thoughts on that? omy, how it is affected by government I would say go for it. The worst that can policy, and how it affects his businesses. happen is the business fails a few years In part two, the focus is on FIG as a com- down the line and you go to a graduate pany, what it does, plans for the future, programme and start from scratch. It and James’s own thoughts on business. sucks, but on the upside, the business might not fail and you might never have Felix fi rst interviewed you a year and to work again. a half a go. You had three companies but said that number would grow. Last year you said you were quite Have things gone as well as you were keen to work with university entre- expecting? preneurship societies. Having becom- It certainly has. We are now up to four- ing more established, has that ceased teen companies, and recently got our being a priority? The FIG team is made up of directors who each look after and advise a portfolio of its student-run businesses. fi fteenth. The company that you fea- No, not at all. Next year we will be tured last year (SpineStrength) is doing launching an accreditation scheme. The incredibly well. I thought it would take average turnover of a university society and organises lectures and competi- the awards. To get a gold certifi cate, so- to fi nd students with good ideas. They longer for people to trust us, because it in the UK is three and a bit thousand tions. Do you think they necessarily cieties need to hold a certain number of need to come to be brought to the soci- is a big thing. It turns out people really pounds. The average turnover of an en- need to run enterprises themselves to events every year when their members ety so they can meet other people with like our business model. We do charge, terprise society is half that. We are go- be able to call themselves enterprise can say, ‘this is my start up, this is what good ideas and be inspired. That is what but from the guys who have the money, ing to set up standards to recognise en- societies? I am working on at the moment.’ we are trying to encourage, and why we the investors, not the guys looking to get terprising societies in all areas, not just Yes. Imperial Entrepreneurs’ Society is There are plenty of societies that just are offering £55,000 in prizes. money. If a student is looking to raise enterprise societies. one of the better ones in the country but ring up accountants and ask if they can money, they are not in the best position We will advertise to hundreds of uni- they are not perfect. They have a good come in and give them a talk. They say Does running this accreditation to pay big fees. versities, telling them that all of their reputation and several of their members yes, they turn up, and they are boring as scheme suggest that you are looking societies may or may not qualify. They have come to FIG with ideas. That is hell. to expand beyond even your current What is so unique about university will have to submit applications saying good, but FIG cannot support every- There are some really great sets of ac- size? students that you focus exclusively on how much they turned over and how body. For our service to be better, the en- countants and lawyers knocking about We just want more to choose from in them? they did it. The reason why they will trepreneurs’ societies need to be better. London. There is Waterfront Solicitors, terms of businesses. At the moment, we The biggest reason is that they should have an incentive to do this is because They do a lot of networking, which who are based near London Bridge. The get plenty of people coming through and be able to do their own research. You we will give them £10,000. At the next is fi ne, but it is not everything. At Im- lady who set that up has a great personal obtaining funding and we cannot charge should at least be able to Google your level up, there will be £15,000 for so- perial, you should be able to have that entrepreneurial story. But does anyone them because we cannot get involved. idea. If you are not a university student cieties that run a few events that show already. There are so many academics ever ask her to speak? No, because they The more people we get using our ser- and you can do that, we will still wel- they are enterprising. here as well, who are easy enough to talk pick up the phone and go to PwC. vices, the more people we get coming come you, but you will have to push Then for the top tier, like the SIFE so- to. You do not need to be shoved into a We are going to insist that societies through that we can chose from. harder to convince us that you can do ciety at Nottingham University, which room and told to meet people, and say, that apply for our accreditation scheme it. That being said, there are a lot of turns over £70,000 per year, we will ‘here is my business card.’ You do not have at least one business set up by one So are you planning to keep your fo- give them the Gold certifi cate. They will need that. of their members, because if you do not cus on quality over quantity? be in the running to win £25,000. What someone might need is to hear help to set up any businesses, what is Absolutely. If we do expand, it will be “You should at least A lot of these enterprise societies are real stories. The societies can get lo- the point? What is the point of being an on a director basis. Each director looks going around saying, ‘you join us and cal businessmen in to talk. Keep things enterprise society? We had over 3000 after fi ve or six businesses. We do not be able to Google you are an entrepreneur.’ No, you’re simple. The real entrepreneurs might people come through our doors with want to have a hundred companies, but not! That does not make any sense. We not have two hours to sit and listen to ideas and we have eleven more compa- maybe thirty companies. We are already your idea... a lot of want them to get out and do enterprising a lecture, they might have half an hour. nies than we did last year. So it is not halfway there, which is shocking. If we things. It would be great if they could just walk diffi cult to get maybe three companies need to get bigger, we will hire more university students in for half an hour and get out thinking, to form with good ideas, so we expect directors. I cannot imagine ever hiring The Imperial Entrepreneurs Society ‘cool, we learned something new.’ at least one. more than ten directors, because I like cannot” provides networking opportunities This is something we are building into Enterprise societies should be looking to be involved, even if I am not directly THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 17 BUSINESS running the business. “We had one guy who How will the fund that you are setting us the back of an envelope. We sup- around you to ground you. If you say, ‘I up in the summer to invest directly in ported him to build a very successful am an entrepreneur;’ they should be able In our interview last year, we focused came in and said FIG seeds affect your business? company. to say, ‘shut up. Be quiet.’ on SpineStrength, a sports equipment It will just make it quicker. We see these business started by Doug Higgins what he had done, companies that are great and only need Is he one of your fi fteen companies? When can someone say they are an when he played rugby for Imperial a hundred grand. In the past there have Yes, he is very good lad. He came in and entrepreneur? College. How is that doing? and literally showed been situations where myself and the we discussed the idea. He did not spend When they have multiple successes. I SpineStrength is doing very well. It partners have invested our own money, long, maybe ten or fi fteen minutes. I said like to think that an entrepreneur is a has gained interest from the NFL and us the back of an but there are only so many times we can he should put his idea online. It must risk taker. Some people would also say several large sports clubs. Doug is cur- do this. have taken two or three weeks. Then he that an entrepreneur needs to have an in- rently working with researchers from envelope.” Setting up this fund will mean being had a clear idea and by the end of it we novation. Imperial College on developing his able to tell people that they can start in a had raised his money. That innovation can be small. It can just products. It is now a massively success- week. They might need £300,000 but if be charging a different price. It is funny ful company. Doug is happy, taking a could have edited it either way, either we can give them £50,000 that is enough The obvious question, what advice how many people go around saying they salary and building it up. to show what actually happened, or to for them to get things moving. Like ev- do you have for students with an idea are entrepreneurs. make her look bad, which is what actu- erything we do, we want this to be a ser- that they are thinking of turning into How much equity has he retained? ally happened. vice that we would use ourselves. a business? Do you have a favourite business out Doug has 45%, which is quite a lot, es- They edited the bit where Deborah Go for it. Pursue your idea. What is the of your FIG seeds? pecially given how quickly his company Meaden was asking her to change the So is speed a major factor? worst that could happen? Your business My personal portfolio. Within that, I re- has grown. name to ‘Video Swapper’ because oth- Speed and quality. It might sound cli- fails, and even then, if you are careful, ally could not say. erwise people would not know what chéd but it is not. If you keep things you should avoid going bankrupt. One of your other companies, GaBoom meant. simple, you can do things incredibly If you have an idea, analyse it. Do not In that case, can you tell us whether GaBoom, was featured on Dragon’s Jess asked about ebay, amazon, ya- quickly, and yet keep a very high level plough ahead assuming the fi rst idea is the best companies in terms of success Den but did not receive funding. hoo, these famous names that have no of quality. right. That is why our website is there. necessarily the ones you enjoy work- What did you see that the dragon’s relevance to what they do. Anyway, Another thing I would say is, do not ing with the most? did not? it could have gone either way. It took What stage do businesses need to be think you have made it. Even when you Yes, maybe not necessarily enjoy work- Jess may or may not have already had months to get on the show and in that at before they come to you asking for have set up the business, you are still not ing with the most, but excited by the funding from us for GaBoom when she time she had already raised funding. At funding? an entrepreneur. most. The most successful companies went on the Den, not that we would use the same time, if they made a good offer, We had one guy who came in and said You are just a guy or a girl with an are the ones that are so exciting that you it for free publicity or anything. They she would have discussed it. what he had done, and literally showed idea. Make sure you have good friends feel like you have to work on them.

Win an iPad! free prize draw at the event

Monday 7 March where are you going to live next year?

Join us at the Private Housing Talk for:

l tips and advice on when and where to start looking for a place to live in the private sector when and l learning how much you can expect to pay on rent and other costs where? l advice on how to deal with contracts and landlords and your rights as a tenant Monday 7 March 2011

l advice and tips for moving in/out 16.30 Private Housing Exhibition opens in the Queen’s l exclusive opportunities to meet estate agents, landlords and other Tower Rooms accommodation service providers 18.00 Private Housing Talk in the Great Hall 19.00 Private Housing Exhibition sponsored by in the Queen’s Tower Rooms continues 18 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Politics Editors: Rory Fenton James Lees, Rajat Jain POLITICS [email protected] With David Cameron attacking “state multiculturalism” and introducing an immigration quota, Felix asks: IS IMMIGRATION A PROBLEM? “It often leads to A lot of Britons’ fears Yes – No Haralambos Dayantis ghettoisation” – Tagore Nakornchai about immigration come

mmigration to the UK is increasingly being years. Already there are over 300 primary schools mmigration is a diffi cult issue to tackle, with from the media” recognised as a problem, and not just within in the UK where over 70% of students only speak little rational debate in the media. The UK, the Daily Mail’s typical demographic. Re- English as a second language, many of them in compared to others in Europe, has a lower most Britons shun – hard labour is not very popular search by Ipsos MORI has shown that 71% London. These schools are usually found in areas proportion of recent migrants, yet people are with a generation of young British workers raised of people aged 16-24 are concerned about dominated by one particular ethnic group, such more likely to list it as one of the top con- on Xboxes. immigration.I This should come as no surprise, as Bangladeshis in Tower Hamlets, who make up cernsI facing the country, up there with the economy Migrants are also needed in some tertiary in- since fi gures from the Offi ce for National Statistics 33% of the borough’s population. It is only natu- and crime. The UK has seen, in the last 10 years, the dustries – many postdoctoral researchers are born (ONS) show that if immigration levels are not re- ral that immigrants choose to live in areas where largest wave of net inward migration in its history. outside the UK, and the city needs its traders. In duced, the UK population will hit 70 million within many of their neighbours are their countrymen, A lot of Britons’ fears about immigration come most industries in the highly globalized world to- 20 years. The strain which this will put on the UK’s however, this often leads to ghettoisation and cul- from the media. The tabloids and Tory right love a day, companies don’t want someone who can do infrastructure simply cannot be ignored. tural divides. This can be seen on a smaller scale good scare and Britons seem to perceive immigra- the job. They want the best person for the job and Net foreign immigration currently lies at around at Imperial itself, with international societies en- tion more negatively than continental Europe, even that person might not be UK born. There’s a reason 200,000 people a year, and ONS figures predict that couraging students of the same nationality to group though most countries have a higher foreign born why Cameron has been reluctant to fulfil his elec- immigration will account for 68% of population together socially. Whilst it is perfectly understand- population. The Mail, Express, and Sun compete tion pledge to cap immigration – it’s a bad policy, growth within the next two decades. The conse- able from the individual students’ point of view, it to splash scare stories about immigrants clogging given how much immigrants contribute. quences of increased population should not be lost can lead to disharmony within the student body. up NHS wards, causing crime and needing social Migrants also enrich Britain’s culture and herit- on London-dwelling students. Overcrowding on Of course, the majority of international students housing. Most of it is either deliberately mislead- age. Migrant groups have all added their own dis- public transport will be the least of our worries as integrate perfectly well into the wider community. ing, or just completely bollocks – some numbers tinct part to British culture. Curry, dim sum, kebabs the population booms. Increasing demand for hous- However, a significant minority rarely venture out- about the “cost of immigration” trumpeted by The have all been brought into the UK via successive ing, healthcare, education and employment will side their own ethnic communities, in which Eng- Mail include £1.8 billion for processing asylum groups of immigrants, and are now significant continue to put a strain on both the government and lish is seldom spoken. seeker applications – something which the UK is parts of British cuisine. Salman Rushdie is a pro- the individual. Competition for places at the most The issue is clearly a controversial one, since obliged to do under international law. lific, though often controversial writer. Given the prestigious universities, for places to live and for many who take a stance against mass immigration There are good economic reasons for immigra- relatively short time most immigrant communities well-paid jobs can only increase. The implications are often branded racist by the liberal media. The tion. Migrants tend to be young and productive. have been here, they have already left their mark on for current and prospective students are truly dire. likes of Nick Griffin and, to a lesser extent, Nigel Having one of the youngest populations in West- society in a positive way. Likewise, the pressure on the already overstretched Farage do the debate no favours with their strong ern Europe, means the UK is not heading for a de- Culturally and economically, immigration has NHS will continue to rise, increasing the burden on anti-immigration views. Too often, the opinions of mographic calamity where decreasing numbers of made the UK a richer place. While there are still doctors, nurses and taxpayers alike. sensible individuals with legitimate concerns are young people are supporting increasing numbers of things to iron out with regards to multiculturalism The implications of mass immigration are not tarnished by association with the extreme views of old people. Recent EU migrants pay around a third and integration of new arrivals, continued immigra- simply practical; they are also cultural. Govern- such far-right figures. To accept that immigration more tax than they receive in benefits, helping to tion is a good thing, and much of the debate arises ment projections show that immigration will ac- is a problem in the UK is not racism; it is simply balance books and contribute to the economy. Mi- more from tabloid scaremongering rather than gen- count for 39% of new households in the next 20 pragmatism. grants are also much more willing to take jobs that uine negative effects.

Breaking News The Pakistani Minorities Minister, Theresa May proclaimed that pay Libyan forces loyal to Gudaffi began Westminster Council confi scated Shahbaz Bhatti has been assassinat- cuts for police offi cers were to be to move into rebel-controlled areas. Baby Gaga breast milk ice cream ed. Bhatti, the only Christian member an inevitable part of budget cuts. An oil installation near the town of sold at a Covent Garden shop. Want to hear what of the Pakistani government had been Of the current £11bn police budget, Brega was taken without fi ghting, al- Westminster Council has received calling for reforms to the nation’s blas- roughly 75% goes on pay. This has though later in the day rebels claimed several complaints from members Charlie Sheen’s said phemy laws. Currently the law calls for made pay reductions likely if Police to have retaken control. The rebels in of the public, and decided to con- the death sentence to any who insults numbers are to be maintained while Brega are braced for a confl ict. Pro- fi scate the pasteurised breast milk now? You’ve come to the Islam. Bhatti was shot to death on the taking a 20% budget cut. By law, the Gadaffi forces aerially bombarded an dessert, to see if the milk “was fi t wrong place. way to work. Police are not allowed to go on strike. arms dump in the city of Ajdabiya. for human consumption” VARSITY 2011

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

Do you want to do a centrefold? Email [email protected] it’s not just for Clubs & Societies! 22 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Comment Editors: Anna Perman Jan Piotrowski COMMENT [email protected] London is a SAD place in winter Doctoring the truth Around the world, there prevails the same stereotypical image of London: dark clouds stretching to the horizon, a heavy The German secretary of defense has finally stepped downpour, men and women in black suits with black umbrellas wading across flood- down after his PhD was exposed as plagiarised ed pavements. But the reality is quite dif- ferent. Compared with other global cities, Bundeswehr-Fotos rainfall here is pretty unremarkable. New York, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Singapore all receive far more rain than London. No, the truly defining characteristic of the London climate is not rain, but cloud. The constant, oppressive blanket of grey, blocking out the sun, casting a feeble half-light. This is felt most strikingly in the win- ter. One of the side effects of living so far north is that a winter’s day can be Nils Hanwahr as short as eight hours. This, coupled with the almost omnipresent cloud cov- he tedious work of assem- er, means that it’s not uncommon for a bling footnotes that usu- Londoner, during the winter, to go several ally torments scores of weeks without seeing the sun. postgraduate students and Whether we realise it or not, this has research assistants has sud- a huge impact. Humans have evolved to Tdenly become a matter of national im- naturally depend upon sunlight; extended portance in Germany. After extensive deprivation has serious effects on both passages of plagiarized material were physical and psychological health. Take discovered in his PhD dissertation, the Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a German Secretary of Defense Karl The- condition afflicting people all around the odor zu Guttenberg resigned this Tues- world, in which normally healthy individu- day morning. als experience bouts of severe depres- Guttenberg had been the youngest sion during the winter. Psychiatric jargon Secretary of Business and Technol- aside, we can all relate to the uplifting ogy at only 37 years of age. When he Arriving at parliament in a fighter jet... eat your heart out Cameron feeling of waking to a beautiful clear sky, became Secretary of Defense after the and to the corresponding downer of a 2009 election, his immense popularity dark, overcast morning, so often the lot with conservative voters made him a Having handed back his title to the Last weekend, hundreds of of us Londoners. contender to succeed Angela Merkel as University of Bayreuth, the storm Yet in spite of its desolate winters, Lon- Chancellor. seemed to subside, after the committee students took to the streets don itself is an incredible city. Few places After initial accusations of plagia- of the university decided not to inquire on Earth offer such a wealth and diver- rism that Guttenberg had dismissed as further into whether he had breached in- calling Guttenberg ‘Dr. ctrl. C’ sity of culture and opportunity. To quote ‘absurd’, he recited his familiar canon tellectual property rights. That is where the great writer Samuel Johnson: “When of conservative values, only to declare academics and students stepped in. a man is tired of London, he is tired of shortly after that he would temporarily Last weekend, hundreds of students life; for there is in London all that life can “ lay down his Dr. title. Only days later, took to the streets in Berlin, waving their was indeed the workrrkk of a hired g ghostghost-host- afford.” the website “GuttenPlag Wiki” revealed shoes in the air in disdain of Guttenberg writer. Usually, German law disserta- Nevertheless we might, in the harsh more passages from the dissertation as and calling him ‘Dr. ctrl. C’. An open tions range around 150 pages, often months of January and February, find plagiarized material, including text from letter posted online by a group of uni- concerning single paragraphs and main- ourselves yearning for a more pleasant, the introduction that had been copied versity researchers, calling for the res- ly written for the sake of business-card more hospitable climate – something a from a newspaper article. So far, pas- ignation of Guttenberg to save the integ- embellishment. Guttenberg’s, however, little less conducive to depression and sages without correct footnotes have rity of German academic standards, has as with everything” he has done in his suicide. In the end though, that wish is been identified on 271 out of 475 pages now been signed by more than 50,000 career, was more ambitious. Already a self-defeating. Those overcast skies are – more than 20 percent of the material. people. Eventually, eminent professors, member of the German Bundestag, he a vital part of London; they have defined Chancellor Merkel initially countered including Guttenberg’s former supervi- also made use of the parliament’s infor- and shaped its character. Without them, by saying that she did not need a “re- sor Peter Häberle, began to speak, say- mation service. This advisory body of sure, we might gain a little more cheerful- search assistant, postgraduate student ing that the extent of plagiarism was academics and experts supplies reports ness. But we would lose the identity of or PhD”, but a Secretary of Defense, unacceptable. on a large range of questions upon re- our city. We would no longer be London- dismissing calls for Gutteberg’s resigna- Nevertheless, after the resignation, quest by MPs. At least six of these re- ers, would no longer be living in London. tion. Faced with these accusations in a German academia will have to address ports appear to have been incorporated Also, it’s not always this bad. The sum- special session of parliament, Gutten- important issues regarding its postgrad- into the dissertation without citations. mer months are truly blessed – blue skies berg claimed to have ‘unconsciously’ uate education processes. Why was the Chancellor Merkel, as of today, has and ten p.m. sunsets. As we drag our- copied the texts and excused his errors former Defense Secretary’s fraud not not commented on the resignation as selves out of winter and reach towards with the overwhelming pressure he had recognized earlier by the academic com- there is no obvious successor. However, spring, we can look forward with some been under while simultaneously act- mittee of the university? How signifi- the resignation was an important signal hope: we’ve rode out the storm, and there ing as an MP, writing his PhD thesis, cant was the fact that many academics at to show that academic standards are not are clear skies ahead. and raising a child. Reminding people Bayreuth had close ties to Guttenberg’s just idle conventions, but laws. Breach of his duty to German soldiers, he at- political party? And how is it possible of intellectual property rights is more tempted to deflect attention away from that Guttenberg himself seemed to be Have your say on than sloppy editing, it is theft. We should Navid Nabijou what seemed to be regarded as a ‘gentle- ignorant of the extent of the plagiarism applaud all those German postgraduate men’s crime’ by the conservative coali- in his own work? this article at students that stood up and insisted on the tion government. Many suspect that the 475 page opus felixonline.co.uk integrity of academic research. THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 23

The opinions expressed on the Comment pages represent the views of the author only. COMMENT Lansley’s plans will stitch up the NHS

he NHS is one of Britain’s delivering the advantages of market– With cost the driving factor, quality would be in rural areas with no other most cherished institu- based mechanisms while retaining the of care will suffer. Private providers can health facility in the immediate vicinity, tions – pretty much the system under state control. The admin- compete on the same level as public hos- they would have to remain open – and only thing Labour and the istrative monoliths that are Primary Care pitals, which should provide an incen- that would be at government cost. This Conservatives agreed on Trusts and Strategic Health Authorities tive to strip and pare down costs, or to could all get expensive very quickly. Tduring the general election was the need would go, with the money being chan- reduce waiting times. NHS reform is needed in order to face to safeguard the NHS from budget cuts. neled instead into the GPs. But stripping down costs means that the upcoming demographic changes and It has gone through one of the biggest Devolving spending power to the GPs many GP consortia might avoid paying to bring the UK in line with the rest of spending increases in it’s history. seems like a good idea; GPs will be able for patients to have more expensive sur- Western Europe. Yet, despite everything, the NHS is, to to “pick and choose” between various geries done, meaning reduced access to Reforms are needed, but Lansley’s Tagore Nakornchai put it mildly, mediocre. It scores worse providers of healthcare in order to pick hip replacements and other quality-of- fails on many accounts: patient choice than most developed countries’ systems one most suitable for their individual pa- life treatments that many patients have is still extremely limited, as it is highly on survival rates and life expectancy. tients, and the most cost–effective. In access to now. Furthermore, many pri- dependent on what their GPs will offer Furthermore, it is one of the most so- theory, this would create a market which vate providers will only ever try to com- them and would probably even suffer cialised healthcare schemes in the world would drive down costs and improve pete with the public hospitals on things given the need of GPs to cut costs. Pri- – even continental Europe, traditionally performance. that can turn them a profit, leaving the vate competitors will underfund existing much more socially democratic than the But there have been concerns raised existing public providers to pick up the health services, and the “market” would UK, has healthcare systems that have about the system, not least by GPs them- ball on more expensive or less profitable lead to a re–focusing of healthcare to- more independence and significantly selves. Many GPs feel that they already surgeries. wards saving money, rather than, say, more private involvement. have too much on their hands, and jug- And every contract won by private curing the patient. Most countries have a healthcare mar- gling a significant health budget isn’t providers means money that used to go There really is no easy way to re- ket where providers compete for patients exactly high on their current list of pri- into providing for the public hospitals shape and improve the NHS, but a half- “With cost the driving by offering better services. This model orities – so they will have to hire a team now going elsewhere. This, in effect, arsed step, which brings in a mixed mar- appears to have inspired the proposed to handle the budget. In other words, means a budget cut for many hospitals, ket and basically strips public hospitals factor, quality of care reforms put forward by the Secretary of managers. The very people who the To- with some reports saying that dozens of of their money and gives it to private State for Health Andrew Lansley. The ries are trying to cut out of the loop by hospitals could be forced to close. Of healthcare providers is worse than doing will suffer” Cabinet minister’s reforms are based on abolishing PCTs and SHAs. course, because many of these hospitals nothing at all. Letter The naked truth... Reveal the actual down of student rent we need to see all h, The Full Monty. No, matter. Yet The Full Monty mocks one the gory details. Contractors employed I’m not talking about highly respected art form, interpretive cost of halls by College have some interesting costs, today’s centerfold (It dance; the team interpret Tom Jones’s borne by the students: £16 for a light bulb seems so long since we ‘You can leave your hat on’ exquisitely. Dear Sirs, to be changed and £66 for the ‘duty’ en- had one!), but the movie, I respect that. gineer to be called to look at a drippy tap. Awhich was on TV on Monday night. But I’ve digressed horribly. We must I write in reply of last week’s article enti- Furthermore, the Commercial Servic- Gritty Northern themes, like unemploy- discuss the soundtrack! I highly rec- tled, “Measures to reduce hall rents con- es team are advising that new changes ment and Sheffield, spruced up with ommend ‘Make me smile (Come up sidered”. I found the content of the article for limited cleaning and a reduced stu- humour – this usually makes for a solid and see me)’ courtesy of Steve Harley surprising as the cost of rent for both UG dent experience are made. Part of their film. and the Cockney Rebels. And by “rec- and PG students is outrageous. Impe- annual budget is bolstered by student It opens with a brilliantly botched ommend” I mean that if I could, I’d rial has lost touch with students and their rent and already this year they have hap- Alex Nowbar theft of a steel girder from a disused shove this song down your throats. Al- budgets; the current cost of Southside pily spent their budget on gatherings in factory, for example. And the quick- ternatively you could simply listen to and Eastside is beyond the scope of the Eastside! Yet team bonding for Freshers witted ego-busting response to “I need the song by way of watching The Full student loan! Additional rent costs seem is deemed too expensive? And I am sure an audience” when the protagonist has Monty if you haven’t already done so. to have appeared from nowhere over the that no one wants to live in a foetid room trouble stripping in front of his son and Don’t miss ‘Moving on up’ by M Peo- last 10 years and I think we should be that has barely seen a mop! I would sug- some of the other lovely male leads – ple, either! Or Hot Chocolate’s one hit made aware of how these rents are calcu- gest that a wider range of options must “You need a doctor” – was the point of wonder, which should go without say- lated and where the money goes. be investigated. no return for me, that is, no return to ing. Shame on you if you don’t know In my opinion, the College has lost For a fair debate, ALL the costs asso- work; I was going to watch the film in their masterpiece. touch with the people who really matter ciated with rent need to be laid bare. A its entirety. Then there is the adorable ‘fat bastard’ – the students. Most students don’t mind few years ago rents in South Ken were Since it features so very briefly, I’ll subplot, which is so heart-warming. placing a mere 1% of their termly budget only £90/week, and very little about the not go into the nakedness theme (‘nu- This is not sarcasm. To clarify, I cried at into the Halls’ amenity funds. They know amenity funds or Wardening system has dity’ might be the ‘correct’ vocabu- that tender moment when he says “Who that they have the opportunity to spend it changed since then. So what has? Impe- lary but whatever Trevor; nude sounds wants to see this [gesturing at self] and organise parties if they want to. They rial has the power to change the prices to vanilla and naked sounds hardcore). dance?” and his wife says “I do.” If I appreciate the pianos, TVs, games con- something reasonable, but will they ac- For the observant amongst you, you’ll were to take a wife, I’d want one like her, soles that are bought these funds. Very cept the challenge? There are many cuts “As the Felix notice that’s not strictly true – naked- one who would reaffirm my existence. little is spent on alcohol, as Halls try to to make in the whole College system ness does feature prominently, even in Cynics might suggest that her needs involve everyone in their events. I am sure, but there must be a level of centrefold teaches the title, would you believe it. So let were being provided for elsewhere (with Wardening is also an important feature transparency to this before misinformed me explain where I’m coming from. I her work colleague) but, in that case, at of Imperial, and it makes our halls stand decisions are made. us, nudity is no am trying to do some serious analysis- least she is resourceful. Don’t look at me out from the soulless residences of most cum-preaching. As the Felix centrefold like that, you sexy thing. She is hot stuff. other Universities in this country. Yours Sincerely, laughing matter” teaches us, nakedness is no laughing For Sheffield, anyway. I feel that to know the “true” break- Eleanor Jay 24 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX Music Editors: Greg Power Luke Turner Christopher Walmsley MUSIC [email protected] Album of The Week Radiohead The King of Limbs Pythagoras had a 2011 theory of music? The Pythagorean Sourcebook and Library

Yes, this is the same album as before our Daily pull- out, however Radiohead are and have always been On planet Earth a band that take time. ‘All hail Radiohead’ is a far more accurate account, after the initial shock of a new Radiohead album. The album keeps curious, in 500BC the fi rst perfect rhythms, clacking throughout, at times ris- ing to the forefront and at times carrying the sound along without even being noticed. The bass is non-religious, jumpy, bounding quickly and precisely along with the complex percussion. Radiohead have experimented with different bass sounds, at times breaking an scientifi c society electronic barrier sounding more minimal than be- fore. With careful use of sampling and echoes they have created a masterpiece. Admittedly there may was formed by be the odd poor track, but that’s only because you were previously listening to perfection; there needs to be some dynamic or the whole album would suf- Pythagoras fer. Thom Yorke does as he always has done, de- You can’t be serious? Every single arrow missed again? What a fail... scending with haunting energy upon the tight wall of sound. He wails beautiful vocal riffs that play off the angelic resonating soundwaves from various synthe- e as human beings cannot as each other when considering the functional- planets in our solar system, by observing physi- sizers. An album of only eight tracks, the wonder help but think. We exist be- ity of our Universe. Waves play their part ev- cal harmonies in planetary motion, the ratios be- that is Radiohead have done it again, a delicately cause we think and have an erywhere and can manifest strongly in some tween maximum and minimum angular speeds, crafted album from beautiful musical minds. unexplained stream of con- arts; musical waves for example. This type of and separations between planets. All of these Luke Turner sciousness that puts us into energy appears to be far too easily overlooked in celestial bodies sing, and there are times when Wexistence. It is not true to say that without our the importance of life, and the harmony of man more than one sing in harmony. Even more ability to think intelligently we would not exist; within it. rare are the times when huge quantities sing in we would simply be unable to explain, or at- If I was to say, I listened to a song the other perfect concord. I wish not to bring The Divine tempt to explain it. So, our cognitive existence day, and this song completely transformed the into this, however, perfect harmony is a measur- 1. Radiohead is deeply intertwined with our physical exis- rhythm that day had previously been beating. able phenomena. The complete harmony of our Most lis- 2. Arcade Fire tence on planet Earth. Coincidence… possibly, This song adjusted my gloomy, pessimistic, Universe may have only ever occurred once in tened to 3. The Strokes but do we live our lives hoping for coincidence frankly dissonant day into a pleasant affair. It existence. One point in time when all that is, was 4. The xx or do we set out at the beginning of each day was something that emitted hope and encour- perfectly balanced, perfectly harmonious and this week by 5. Muse to develop, open our minds and learn about the agement along with immediate satisfaction of beauty was at the point of Creation. 6. Kanye West beauty that so humbly surrounds us in its quiet, sounding beautifully concordant and euphori- Is it that there is a perfect harmony present on Felix Music harmonious way. cally cathartic. It is well known that a song has Earth that sustains life? Or is the perfect separa- 7. Daft Punk Many of us nobly dedicate our lives to the sci- the power to do such a thing; be it because of tion (diapason) between the Earth, the Sun and members on 8. Gorillaz ences and what is real about the world we all nostalgia, hormones or chemistry, what we the Stars a cognitive coincidence? The law of 9. Coldplay occupy, in a quest for some kind of truth, just know is that the chemicals that caused this phys- octaves is just as important in the periodic table, last.fm 10. The Smiths as Pythagoras did, creating possibly the world’s ical change within my body were not present in discovered by Newland, as it is in the composi- fi rst un-priestly cooperative scientifi c society the sound waves prior to my hearing them. My tion of a piece of music. Whichever way we look approximately 500BC. This is a non-coinciden- senses and body acted as some sort of canvas for at the world, the beauty of harmony in music ex- Join in at: http://www.last.fm/group/Felix+Music tal parallel between the human world thousands the raw vibrations to unleash what power they ists. It is this purity of the physical world that of years ago and the human world we all live in hold. brings music and science together, undeniably, now. So what was it that triggered this search Considering the above, it all comes down to in its unique chorus of vibrations around us. in Pythagorean times and what is it that keeps a vibration. The study of a vibration will reveal Luke Turner us searching? Perhaps even more importantly harmonics. Harmonics are musically pleasing to Make sure not to miss why? Is it consciousness itself that creates this the ear, a perfect equilibrium that is clearly audi- perpetual hunt for reason and rhyme, or have ble. The word ‘harmony’ is frequently used as a Jack Bruce we become too complex for our own good and co-existing, perfectly balanced state of existence the solutions arise in the simplest of the world’s between two or more parties, just like a string. Ronnie Scotts beauties. All we need do now is take a step back Harmony is a state, and many philosophers be- Wednesday 9th March 2011 from the supply and demand of the economics lieve that a harmonious state is a prerequisite for that we have created or the political rights and beauty. Something can only be truly beautiful if The original bassist from Cream!, Crossroads & Sun- wrongs that we live by, seeing as they clearly it is in a state of perfect harmony. This can be shine of my love! Holy shit! That’s right, he’s taking to don’t defi ne the type of life I’m getting at. looked upon from the point of view of Earth; Frith Street’s Ronnie Scotts on Wednesday to bring If we look at the world in a physical way: there the world with all its life is beautiful, and it is the power of Cream through his jazzy basslines, and is material, energy. This is made up of funda- harmonious. The higher the degree of beauty, Ronnie Scotts couldn’t be a better place to host him. mental particles that have their own individual the more harmonious it is in nature. This would A bass icon and in fact a rock icon is going to bring properties, and these particles working together explain that beauty is just the material manifes- it... Are you? make up everything in the material world, fact. tation of the nature of harmony. There are also immaterial phenomena such as Indeed there are some ancient philosophies waves. Waves and material are just as important that attempt to explain harmonic motions of the Fractal art using Pythagoras’ triangles THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 25 MUSIC

Music to make Imagination is more important you think...

This week’s page may be than knowledge, for it is limitless slightly on the philosophical side so you might need some music to help you think. We’re taught that facts are all-important. But we risk forgetting the power of our John Lennon imagination says Luke Turner, as he Imagine deciphers John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ Radiohead I Will It must be accepted that we are each “Imagine there’s no unique in completely different ways, Coldplay physically as well as mentally. Each heaven The Scientist person has their own personal way of thinking, their own imagination which It’s easy if you try they control. It can create a world with- Bright Eyes out limits of any sort. To ‘Imagine’ is No hell below us simple to do. All you have to accept is At The Bottom Of Ev- that it is through imagination that human Above us only sky erything progress can be made. Let us say that, the human race is constantly evolving. Imagine all the people Be it technologically or mentally, it is Gil Scott-Heron happening without us even trying. Living for today... The Revolution Will Not Be Televised Why don’t we then attempt to control Imagine there’s no the direction of our evolution of thought, Bob Dylan as we do with material benefi ts? In fi rst countries world societies, there is no need to fi ght Masters Of War one another for food as in the wild, like It isn’t hard to do the cavemen did, because it’s provided The Band for us by farmers in a system that has Nothing to kill or die for developed over many years. Considering The Weight this, it’s also not necessary for the selfi sh- And no religion too ness of a human being to be as dominant as it used to be, with respect to the bare Imagine all the people The Grateful Dead necessities of life. We all live on Earth to- St. Stephen gether now, we are no longer striving to Living life in peace... survive, we are striving only for money. In fact, if we didn’t already work together Radiohead the world would now fall to pieces. You may say I’m a Little By Little

Lennon said he was a dreamer. He also dreamer The Beatles said he was not alone in his dreams, Let It Be implying that there is a possibility for But I’m not the only one people to think in the same way he does. In a less selfi sh way. I hope someday you’ll Bon Iver join us Bood Bank There is an emotion in all of us which is the feeling a child has towards their And the world will be as Bob Marley mother/father/brother/sister. There is This must mean that the boy with 5 something that feels different towards one brothers also has the ability to Love One Love one’s own genes. Some call it Love. another 5, or 10 even. So this emotion No matter what it is, it does exist. It’s has no limits, in that case, can some- Black Eyed Peas the feeling that causes you to give your Imagine no possessions body Love a friend in the same way as life to save that of a sibling or your a brother? Of course, people get married Where Is The Love own child. You wouldn’t however, give I wonder if you can and love each other so much that they your life for a friend. Giving your life would also die for one another, the ulti- for someone else has to be a completely No need for greed or mate sacrifi ce. selfl ess action. Say that one boy has 5 I believe that with imagination, it brothers, and another boy has 10. These hunger would be possible to plant the idea boys would give their lives to save that of branching this brotherly love for If you want to share a mind-blowing playlist send of their brothers’, however one has con- A brotherhood of man one within one’s own vertical genetic it in to siderably more brothers. This doesn’t tree, horizontally, to a friend. If this is [email protected] mean that his Love has been spread thin- Imagine all the people achieved, we already know that this ner or means less, because he would still emotion is limitless and we could evolve die for all 10. Sharing all the world” to become one. 26 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Film Editors: Jade Hoffman Ed Knock FILM fi [email protected] Classic Cinema Give me my Oscar! Blade Runner Ed Knock examines what the Academy really looks for

he Best Picture Award is the most coveted prize at the Academy The Old Boys Club Case Study - The Departed Awards and is awarded to the the film that Hollywood views as the Taxi Driver lost out to Rocky (Eh?), Raging greatest accomplishment of the Bull lost out to Ordinary People (unfortu- pastT year. It is apparently given to the film that nate) and Goodfellas lost out to Dances has the greatest script, performances, cinema- with Wolves (robbed!). Would Scorsese ever tography, editing and direction but if we look get an Oscar? He should have got one for back at all 83 previous winners, what does the Raging Bull grumbled Clint Eastwood but Academy really consider when deciding who when Spielberg, Lucas and Coppola all receives the greatest prize in the film world? walked on stage to present the Best Direc- tor award in 1996 we all knew who it was The Feel Good Factor going to. The Departed bagged best picture A chilling view of Lady Gaga’s future as well but is definitely one of Scorsese’s Although an edgy European film may get rave weaker films; it’s too long, over acted and The first time I watched Blade Runner, I really didn’t reviews and clean up all the gongs at Cannes stuffed full of pointless camera tricks but like it. One of my relatives had given it to me for my and Berlin, a palm d’Or winner will never usu- Hell, he was due an Oscar. birthday so I felt I had to watch it. I thought it was rub- ally get a look in at the Oscars. Hollywood bish; the plot made no sense, the characters were doesn’t like to venture far from it’s comfort flat and while the atmosphere and soundtrack were zone and will always favor an all-American both awesome, I nearly gave it to a charity shop. film over a black and white French indie heavy the world is your oyster and studios will have dulgent “We’re highlighting racism!” mess of I now have watched director Ridley Scott’s master- on the existentialism (which French films few qualms about greenlighting new films and a film that was Crash. Traditionally the film piece five or six times, and love it more each time aren’t?). A ‘Foreign’ film has never one a best providing vast budgets. At Oscars the Acad- festival circuit nurtures independent films, but I see it. The idea is this: Harrison Ford plays Deck- picture award, the only other country outside of emy love nothing more than to slap each other during the seventies New Wave and Neorealist ard, a detective who specialises in tracking down America to ever have a chance in this category on the back and beloved directors with large inspired films dominated the Oscars; Both the escaped clones. He has to find a group of clones is Britain and we maintain a healthy average impressive filmographies eventually eventu- Godfather films, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s who are fearsome adversaries: they are specialised of about one win every five years. Impressive ally find themselves at the Kodak theatre will a Nest and The Deerhunter were all part of the for a range of tasks, from combat to seduction. when you compare the difference in money shiny statuette in their hands. very fashionable ‘New Hollywood’ scene. In this futuristic version of Los Angeles, it’s always in the respective British and American film Thats if you toe the line however, Stanley raining. There are brightly lit signs everywhere, and industries. Kubrick famously fled Hollywood in the sixties the air is thick with steam. There are flying cars And so it happens all too often that the Acad- and holed himself up in England making fan- and adverts for life on off-world colonies. The at- emy can’t get help but get it’s knickers in a tastic but often controversial films. He shunned What’s in Vogue Case mosphere is amazing and unforgettable, aided by twist over a film that promotes real American Hollywood and as a result never won an Oscar, a stunning and unforgettable Vangelis soundtrack. values and leaves the audience with wide con- to this day it’s one of the Academy’s biggest Study - Midnight Cowboy Along with the screenplay and a very well put to- tent grin on their faces; regardless if there were embarrassments. In the past decade, Danny gether cast it makes for an unforgettable movie. superior films that year. Everybody loves Mor- Boyle, The Coen Brothers, Martin Scorsese, There was a lot of drama surrounding the mak- gan Freeman The Shawshank Redemption but Clint Eastwood and Ridley Scott all had Best ing of this film, however. They ran out of time and it was overshadowed by Forest Gump, essen- Picture Winning Films and it’s no coincidence money on several occasions, and the crew revolted tially a nasty piece of right wing propaganda that they were already respected directors. against Scott. These problems arose from Scott’s where an imbecile who never questions any- insistence that everything should be as he wanted. thing triumphs over those pesky liberals. If au- Whats in Vogue For example, he made one of the stunt team do diences love it and the critics agree with them backflips for an entire night’s filming session until then a shallow ‘feel good’ film will inevitably Although Hollywood likes to reward the ‘safe’ he had the perfect shot. One night filming a few be victorious at the Oscars. films, every now again it needs to blowout the seconds of film - no wonder they ran out of money! cobwebs and pick an explosive and usually The action sequences really are phenomenal. The Old Boys Club controversial film to prove that it still has the Few will forget the final encounter between Deck- edge when choosing talent. Of course prime ard and Roy, the leader of the clones. The action Hollywood is a dog eat dog world and aspiring opportunities are missed, notoriously Broke- is interspersed by a very intelligent detective story filmmakers will typically end up in an asylum back Mountain in 2005 whose gentle tale of as Deckard hunts the clones. These parts really an- or rehab whilst trying to get a foot in the door. a gay relationship ruffled many Republican noyed me the first time I watched the film as I just However once you are an established name, feathers but ultimately lost out to the self in- didn’t get how he worked some things out. For ex- ample you really have to be paying attention to what The first R-rated film to receive Best the announcer says in the strip club scene to work Picture and very different from the out how Deckard finds one of the clones. The Feel Good Factor Case Study - Rocky previous years winner Oliver!. Midnight If a visually stunning film with great action se- Cowboy depicts the friendship between quences and a very clever plot isn’t enough to make The American Dream in a nutshell. an aspiring gigolo and a small time hus- you rush out and watch Blade Runner, there is also Rocky follows the fortunes of the under- tler as they ride the highs and mainly romance and not a little philosophy: the film investi- dog who by dedication and hard work lows of New York’s seedy underlife. It’s gates what the distinction between a human and a earns the respect of the boxing world full of profanities, drug references and clone is. A word of warning: there are a lot of differ- by lasting fifteen rounds in the ring with prostitution and officially marked the ent versions out there and by all accounts the final a superior heavyweight champion and end of the dying ‘Golden Hollywood’ era cut is the one to go for: no annoying voiceover and he gets the girl. It’s got strong perfor- and the start of the bright fresh cinema digital remastering. All in all, well worth a watch. mances, catchy music and that sodding of New Hollywood. The film cemented montage sequence which popular cul- Dustin Hoffman’s reputation and kick By Guy Needham ture will be forever obsessed with. started Jonny Voight’s career. THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 27 FILM How long is too long for a sequel? Jade Hoffman names and shames some of the worst, long-awaited sequels

fter the release of West Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal is West last Friday was Skull that, despite taking advantage of greeted by mostly tepid modern filmmaking technology, failed Late sequels: reviews, it may be dis- to add anything of much value. TRON appointing – yet not and Indiana Jones, which saw their lat- the worst allA that surprising – that the sequel to est installments released after lapses 1999’s critically acclaimed East is East of twenty-eight and nineteen years re- offenders fell so flat. It’s been 12 years since the spectively, were hugely anticipated in low-budget East is East stormed Brit- the overhyped build-up to their release ish cinema with its heart-warming, but invariably had fans leaving cinemas Indiana Jones and the Last brilliantly funny portrayal of a British- muttering the same old criticism: “it Crusade (1989) vs. Pakistani family living in Salford in wasn’t as good as the original…” Indiana Jones and the King- the early 1970s and, in its time, it won It isn’t a strict rule, though, that every dom of the Crystal Skull (2008) a good handful of awards including a film sequel released long after its pre- BAFTA for Best British Film. For it’s cursor is going to be underwhelming Rambo III (1988) vs. sequel, however, it looks unlikely that flop. The Color of Money, for exam- Rambo (2008) any similar levels of success are to be ple, opened to rave reviews and won achieved. an Academy Award for Paul Newman Psycho (1960) vs. Unlike many belated sequels that are reprising his role from The Hustler de- Psycho II (1983) cobbled together to cash in a little more spite the twenty-five year gap between on a successful franchise, West is West the two. Not every film, however, is The Hustler (1961) vs. actually features much of the same cast fortunate enough to be graced with the The Color of Money (1986) and crew that made its predecessor so timeless talent of Paul Newman – as well-received. Among others, the pitch- fans of the Rambo franchise might TRON (1982) vs. perfect Om Puri and Linda Bassett re- have released if they bothered to go and TRON: Legacy (2010) prise their roles in this follow-up that, watch Sly Stallone’s 2008 Rambo (IV) once again, is written by Ayub Khan- that saw Stallone, twenty-years on from Gone with the Wind (1936) vs. Din as based on his own experiences. Rambo III relying on massively crank- Scarlett (1991) It looks good on paper, and perhaps ing up the violence to cover for a lack would’ve been a more welcome sight on of quality. Bambi (1942) vs. cinema billboards if this were ten years For the most part, it is just a shame Bambi II (2006) ago, but with the film industry churning that West is West and other sequel late- out films so quickly, audiences move comers don’t quite manage to replicate on. You need only look at the posters for Twelve years on and they’ve still got it... the success of their earlier films and, West is West that proclaim its status as instead, just tarnish the reputation of a little unnecessary to keep rehashing the “Sequel to smash hit East is East!” to the franchise and its crew. Supposedly, franchise for the sake of it. Surely the realise that they are grasping at straws. This is not the only time this kind of mer glory of profitable, much-loved a third film is in the pipeline to follow talents of those involved with “smash Are people still demanding a sequel af- pattern has been seen. In recent years, franchises has caused the release of up West is West and, whilst we may still hit” East is East would have been better ter twelve years? the desperation to snatch back the for- films like TRON: Legacy and Indiana hold out hope that it’ll be better, it seems used in something else. Obscure Japanese Kamikaze Girls gets belated praise

Kamikaze Girls into the air after colliding with a small “A prescient strawberry in Japanese) is the emo- the aggressive yet sensitive Ichiko and vegetable truck. Flashing back, we dis- tional, vulnerable one in the relation- deserves the plaudits she has received Director Tetsuya Nakashima cover her history and the events leading commentary on ship while the self absorbed Momoko for this role. That is not to downplay Written by Nobara Takemoto up to this accident. Born in the city of exhibits a chilling lack of emotion and the excellence of her partner in crime, (novel), Tetsuya Nakashima (screenplay) Kobe, she feels like a displaced soul who the problems of borderline viciousness. This serves as Fukada. Cast Kyôko Fukada, Anna Tsuchiya should have been in Rococo-era France a prescient commentary on the prob- It should be pointed out that this and Hiroyuki Miyasako (think Marie Antoinette et al). Her fa- promoting stereotypes lems of promoting stereotypes and how movie is a comedy, and it is all the more Release date 2004 ther, a low level gangster who makes a they are, more often than not, wrong. impressive that these interesting aspects living selling fake designer goods runs and how they are Furthermore, the climactic scene goes have been coaxed out – a testament to Aditya Narayanan into trouble with the local mob and is on to demonstrate how the selection the skill of writer/director Tetsuya Na- forced to flee with his daughter in the often wrong.” of friends based on shallow, tribal al- kashima (whose latest film, Confes- Mention that you’ve watched a film small town of Shimotsuma, where she legiances is often misguided. sions, was shortlisted for an Oscar nomi- called Kamikaze Girls the first thing is the only ‘Lolita’ in the village. It is The leads have a lovely chemistry, nation). Fans of anime and manga will people tend to ask is whether you have a through her desire to fund her fashion allowing their characters’ respective appreciate the regular use of cartoonish fetish for Japanese adult videos. Appear- by selling her father’s counterfeit goods gish ’Yanki’ biker chick put a fresh twist personalities to blend well, while still additions to facial expression and slap- ances can be deceptive however, and that she meets the tomboyish Ichiko on the genre. appearing to clash. Indeed, it is amus- stick humour and while the language is this adaptation of Novala Takemoto’s (Anna Tsuchiya in her big screen debut). What makes this film different to ing to note each girl’s mutual disdain Japanese, the film’s excellent subtitles novel tells the story of the quirky friend- As a pairing, they seem outrageously other stories of its ilk is that it man- towards the other’s fashion and pas- are more than enough to provide laugh- ship that develops between two girls of mismatched, even for regular ‘odd cou- ages to go deeper into the characters times, despite the fact both subcultures ter. If there’s ever an obscure foreign vastly differing tastes. ple’ movies. The innocent, aloof girl and themes prevalent without losing appear equally ridiculous to the inhab- film that will please both film connois- The story begins in medias res, with with a penchant for the frilly, fairy tale its light-heartedness. The tough Ichiko itants of the village. In her first feature seurs and average movie-goers alike it Momoko (Kyoko Fukada) being thrown dresses of the ‘Lolita’ style and the thug- (whose real name, Ichigo, means film, Tsuchiya is a revelation playing is this. 28 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX Television Editors: Matt Allinson Veronika McQuadeova

TELEVISION [email protected] Best in Class: Crime James Simpson on television’s best cops, robbers, detectives and con-men

hy is it that we love ries four if you want to see it at its best. crime so much? Ob- Topping the detective-dramas for viously when one is 2010 is Luther, the HUGE DCI with the victim of such the temper to match his physical size. offences (give me Luther plays the rather typical part of Wfi ve minutes and a rounders bat with the you-know-I’m-right-but-the-rest-of- bastard who stole my bike...) it’s a little the-cast-can’t-see (known as dramatic different, but crime fi ction persistently irony to the eloquent), which can be tops the books, fi lms and TV charts. It’s slightly frustrating, but at least it keeps probably the most popular category of the suspense going. There are some truly television, all that reality piffl e notwith- bilious, graphic murders in this series - standing (it’s for cretins anyway). including a man who has a cannibalistic I do question the term ‘reality TV’ fetish but leaves no evidence, so Luther when I see some of the people on the promptly fabricates some, what a lad! likes Big Brother or I’m a Celebrity who One can’t discuss crime drama with- are grossly unrepresentative of reality out giving a mention to the very queen due to their severely warped minds and of the genre herself - the formidable the fact that they say ‘me’ after every Agatha Christie. There’s nothing like sentence which references the personal a good Poirot or Marple to round off a pronoun. I get annoyed about that, me. good Sunday evening. Sir Ian Blair is Anyway, I do digress. an advocate for the ‘toning down’ of the In order that I might have some ex- violence in more modern crime series planation to give for the popularity of to the likes of Christie’s twee country crime drama here, I have gathered some murders, or if you watched ‘Murder on opinions through the medium of Face- the Orient Express’ at Christmas - just book - apparently it’s because “[of] the absolute arsewash (of course, that was mystery, and because, as children, we all probably ITV’s fault). loved Scooby Doo”. Why does every show potentially look like the Apprentice? If you read my usual column you’ll Another contributor, who described know I have mixed feelings about The himself only as “a youth from Mersey- Hustle. It’s one of those amazing suc- side”, was more interested in “tips on cess stories of plot resurrection that how to commit crimes” and a fi rst year “Sir Ian Blair, like a courtroom soap opera. Following was rather disappointing (they turned seems to work. The team has a brilliant computing student who commented: two barristers, Martha and Clive (Max- one of the main characters into a trai- dynamism and although the stories are “everyone wants to think of a way of criticised the level ine Peake and Rupert Penry-Jones), on tor which was horrible!) and there have quite unbelievable, you feel compelled committing the perfect murder, just in their quest for ‘silk’ - the inside term for been rumours of BBC budget cuts bring- to believe every word - a factor that case they need it one day...” How lovely. of violence in novels becoming a Queen’s Counsel. It is un- ing the show to an end. Maybe it’s better gives it a certain edge. Author P.D. James is of the opinion usual in that the clearly guilty characters to go out on a high? A show I’ve been hoping would return that the connection between social class- and on screens” get off scot-free, leaving one with the Going back to the very fi rst episode is is the BBC’s ‘Sherlock’ starring Bene- es that a good detective story forms, faintest dislike for the legal profession. actually rather scary, because they have dict Cumberbatch in the title role. Three along with a thrilling perspective of the Lynda La Plante, a renowned script- As this article is supposed to have a phones with black and white screens and episodes were broadcast in May 2010 world which most of us never encounter writer, who joined Blair and James in theme of ‘best in class’ I feel obligated they still send texts to trigger explosions and there have been rumours of a new unless we become entangled with the their discussion, said that she felt as to give Spooks a mention. It has now of various kinds. There is also the heav- series coming soon... exciting! law, is what makes crime drama so ap- though there should be less violence in been ten years since the fi rst series was ily recurring incidence of large LCD Writing about the ‘Best in Class’ in pealing to such a wide range of people. crime drama, but that she would carry aired, and as the proud owner of every countdown timers attached to explo- Crime Drama to fi t in this rather modest Also, speaking on Radio 4’s Today on writing about what she read in the pa- box set, I must say that it’s one of the sive devices, all of which are of course space has been quite diffi cult consider- Programme, the former commissioner pers. In the last series written by her and best shows I’ve ever seen. The only disarmed with seconds to spare (except ing the size of the genre. I wrote of some of the Metropolitan Police, Sir Ian Blair, shown on ITV, a top-ten world’s-most- character to survive the entire span of in the demise of Connie James, slight amazing shows and of some amazing criticised the level of violence in novels wanted criminal escaped custody using ten series is Harry Peirce (the amazingly curveball there). shows, I did not. It’s now 2:30AM and and on screens, along with something he a small leisure aircraft and a course of authoritative Peter Firth), most of the Overlooking the slight (and major) in- I’m just about to go into the kitchen to dubbed the ‘CSI effect’ - the Jury’s mal- plastic surgery. When has this ever hap- other characters only last a couple of se- congruences with the realm of the real, make my last brew of the day (that’s a informed forensic analysis (and proba- pened? ries - I think that’s what keeps it so fresh Spooks is actually just plain brilliance, cup of tea, southerners). I’ll send this be- bly the belief that the tests are generally The BBCs new series Silk is a rather legit. That being said, the last series, but don’t watch too many at once or fore I go just in case there are any mur- conducted by incredibly fi t women). different take on crime drama. It’s more which fi nished just before Christmas, you’ll run out of fi ngernails. Start at se- derers around...

On the Box tonight 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm

Dr Who – BBC3 Mastermind – BBC2 The Departed – More4 The Departed – More4+1 Spaced – Dave The most recent series gets a second air- The quiz show for hardcore nutters, I to- Seriously one of the greatest fi lms of the I’m not kidding, you have to watch the Well, you should still be watching The ing before the new one arrives. tally own at general knowledge. Come last decade. I can’t recomend enough departed. It’s so so good. The cast is Departed right now, but in case you’re Mmmmmm Karren Gillan. round my house and I’ll prove it. that you should be watching this. stellar and the script is cast iron. not, make sure you catch this instead. THE DAILY FELIX FRIDAY 4TH March 2011 29

Games Editor: Simon Worthington [email protected] GAMES Game over for IC.HACK Tackling all those little bugs is the most important step, argues Michael Cook

nd so we trundle to the have proper objectives. The endgame is it. And the lessons carry through to the end of our experiment crucial, for obvious reasons, so we have next game too. in short-term, fast-paced to add in ending scenarios. But then it Hopefully some of you will have been development. In just a gets even more boring - what about spurred on to pick up Game Maker over few hours a day I’ve players who want to restart? Or return Easter, or beyond, and fi ddle about for Aknocked together a rough-but-ready to the main menu? Is there anything we yourself. I’ve been considering the idea game that’s got a little bit of everything, need to clean up or delete in case they of a society dedicated to such things at from graphics to level generation. Noth- try and start the game again? Imperial, perhaps to set up sometime ing clever, nothing award-winning, but Finishing a game off is a case of re- next year; if you’d be interested in being defi nitely ‘a game’. And in terms of turning to all of those “deal with that a part of such a thing, please get in touch starting off, that’s all you can ask for. later” moments and biting a multitude of with me. Hopefully you took a look at our ex- bullets. But it’s also the fi nal few straits Interested or not, though, hopefully citing new level generator yesterday and you have to run in order to become an you’ve been playing IC.HACK. So next played around our new lairs. It’s time offi cial game developer. Spelunky/ Friday we’ll be releasing a brand new for farewell, and that can only mean one Aquaria developer Derek Yu offers a list version of the game, taking into account thing – we have to fi nish this game. I of things to help developers fi nish their some of the suggestions we’ve received used to think that fi nishing a game was games on his blog Make Games, and my this week. Today’s version adds three simple, a heavenly state I would be in if favourite tips I’ve tried to weave into the new degree subjects to the game, but I could ever actually get going with any days this week – including the ‘cut out yours may not be in there! Email us with of my projects. Unfortunately, fi nishing what you don’t need’ rule of thumb, and suggestions for new subjects, gameplay is one of the hardest bits of develop- that all important step of actually start- changes, or additions and we’ll try to in- ment. Today we’ll look at why that is. ing development. clude them for next Friday. If you look at where we are with Today’s Derek-tip is probably the Thanks for following and to all who IC.HACK, it’s tempting to stay in that more depressing one – grind is normal. have emailed in. Use imperialga- prototype mindset and see the thing as Grind is what it’s about a lot of the time. [email protected] for feedback on to- fi nished. We’ve got player characters, We started the week prototyping fast and day’s article or any previous. enemies, special moves, level genera- loose, shooting off features like we were tion - everything you need to play a full in a Western and our gun fi red game- game. But there’s no rounding to it. You play mechanics for some reason. Now, tion on how things went. What would ment in time). might have shown off your game to a at the end, it’s time to fi ll in every little you do differently next time? IC.HACK But don’t be too critical, because ul- DOWNLOAD IC.HACK: friend or two so far, but that’s not the bit – writing the menus, the about text, is riddled with problems – a poor colli- timately you have developed a game. same as convincing someone to spend the help, making sure the text is aligned sion model, identical enemies and little That’s awesome, and not easy either. In sn.im/ichack their free time playing it. To get that, you everywhere and the animations synchro- variation in classes. The maps are a bit fact, despite starting over a dozen proj- need to polish it, and fi ll in all those tiny nise (thankfully, none of that here). aimless and unguided, and there’s no ects in the last six months, IC.HACK is Discuss: felixonline.co.uk holes you skipped over earlier. It might, for the fi rst few games you inventory (I followed my own rules for the most fi nished of any game I’ve ever Game Maker: sn.im/25gndv First of all, our game doesn’t actually fi nish at least, also be a time of refl ec- once and cut out what I couldn’t imple- made. Small, ugly, but I’m still proud of

Games That Never hinking of a single reason up again. They said this was due to a Vegas and Red Dead Redemption’s ille- be. You know those really cool named why they didn’t make this ‘management issue’ and instead released gitimate (but presumably glorious) love places on the map of Lord of The Rings Made It #4: game is really hard. If they Lord of the Rings: Conquest, something child. you at some point studied/had on your were worried that it wasn’t almost as disappointing as the fact there Why would it have worked? IT’S bedroom wall/is tattooed across your going to sell enough copies won’t be a White Council. LORD OF THE RINGS! The fact that chest? You could totally go there too. Tto make it viable I really hope they’re Essentially the game promised to de- you have even stopped to read this ar- Dragon Age and so many others have reading this because I will commit right liver not just what The Third Age failed ticle informs me quite quickly that you always fell short of what I imagine this here to buying enough copies to make to deliver, but what a lot of RPG’s across probably like video games, which in to have so nearly been. it worth it. the fi eld have all failed to do. The idea turn tells me you love Lord of the Rings. Though we still will most likely nev- Lord of the Rings: In fact it’s hard to fi nd out why they was simple, a set of story line quests set In fact, you love it so much that when er see this game, I’m accepting lottery didn’t make it – EA just sort of put it in an expansive, explorable world with you watch it you’re kind of upset you’re ticket donations if anyone else out there White Council on hiatus and never bothered to pick it more side quests than a Fallout: New not there. And then suddenly, you could wants to help make it so.

Games That Never es, eventually I get to it. riod this game was in development both in development than all the super best in line outside a Tesco, the only type of Of course, technically world wars were fought (with enough games you love so much with more po- store that will exist in this hypothetical Made It #5: speaking this game has time left over for a third if we felt like tentially undeserved hype surrounding it future, waiting for my copy. I’ll wave been picked up to be it), the President of the USA changed than a Peter Kay stand up DVD. when I see you there. carried to completion by twice and most of the people who played I for one could no longer care whether YGearbox Studios, mainly by being in- the previous version moved out of their this game actually ever makes it in to credibly famous for just never showing basements. fruition. It already got the people who up. However Duke Nukem Forever will tried to make it the fi rst time sued – must Some of the keener nerds amongst always be a game synonymous with the cycle of hurt this game infl icts never Duke Nukem you (I say this as a proud member of the vapourware because it took – feel free end? clan) may have seen the graph which to not forgive the pun – forever. At this Of course, despite all of this I’ll be Forever demonstrates that in the same time pe- point the game has spent twice as long celebrating my 62nd birthday waiting 30 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Food Editors: Dana Li Vicky Jeyaprakash FOOD [email protected]

Savouring the Tuscan hills FOODCYCLE Charles Betts makes us envious with his glorious food escapade & Tom Aikens

Jukka Vuokko/flickr A collaboration is happening between Foodcycle, a charity devoted to tackling the 8.3m tones of food we throw away in the UK, Whole Foods Mar- ket Kensington and Michelin- star chef Tom Aikens.

Imperial is 1 of 13 branches nationwide dedicated to the cause, run by students.

Tom Aikens, from Channel 4’s Iron Chef UK, is keen to tackle the problem of food poverty and food waste in the UK and on March 21st. Two lucky win- ners and their guests will have dinner cooked for them by the young chef to raise funds.

Tickets for the three-course meal, which will be held at Whole Foods, in their “Room With A View”, are already on sale for this event at £5. Winners will be announced on March 14th 2011.

Buy your tickets today: http://uk.virginmoneygiving. com/team/ICFCdinnerbyTo- mAikens

I set my eyes on the rolling hills of Tuscany... fear not this isn’t the Travel section, but a homage to a haven of awesome Italian food

uite often, when planning You can feast on rabbit, ossobucco pickingly dull fl ights did I have to sit my next holiday, I get all (cross-cut veal shanks braised with veg- through? I should have known sooner, too carried away with the etables, wine and broth), and the best how was I so stupid? Yes, Greece has prospect of exciting ad- tasting ravioli you’ll bloody eat – be it the Acropolis of Athens, New York its Q ventures and wonderful stuffed with truffl es, nettles, or pecorino. skyscrapers, Australia the Great Barrier discoveries. I’ve plod- The place has a cellar divided into Reef. But when it comes to food, Italians ded along on a camel in the Sahara, two sections: one for seasoning hams do it best. watched an interesting game of ping- and cheeses; the other for storing wine. pong in Bangkok, and even catapulted And, ooh, what a wine list! It’s simply Ristorante – Enoteca Del Duca myself out of a plane somewhere in terrifi c, with every variety of Tuscan Via di Castello 2, Texas. Rather thrilling, you might think. wine that you can fathom: Chianti Clas- 56048 – Volterra – Toscana But no, they were all massively disap- sico, Brunello di Montalcino, Vernac- tel. +39 0588 81510 pointing. It seems that the more exotic cia, even the stonkingly expensive “Su- the holiday, the more vile the cooking. per Tuscan” Sassicaia. And if that’s not Travelling isn’t pleasant when the cook- enough, they stock stuff from Abruzzo, ing is bad, especially when you spend Piemonte, Sicily, Marche, Molise and, QUOTE OF THE WEEK more time on the loo than off it. Italy, where there is great food and a promiscuous PM roaming around... ahem, France. So for my most recent trip, my plan- The only pit-fall is the lack of any ning focused on food. I’ve just got back decent fi sh on the menu. But then, this “I am horrifi ed from Tuscany, and it’s all been terribly Tuscan cuisine should be. Where tour- is a restaurant that serves local produce bourgeois. Winter is the best time to “Travelling isn’t ist traps are countless, Del Duca offers a that’s in season. Forget strawberries in by the stodge visit as there are no bus-loads of arse- welcome respite with perfectly al dente December, or Porcini mushrooms in the scratching sweaty tourists, no sweltering pleasant when papardelle, scrumptious wild boar ham, Spring. This is where you get your br- that is passed off temperatures, and no air-conditioning; and best of all, heaven of heavens, fi llet uschette with proper red, juicy tomatoes just stunning vistas of green hills, vine- the cooking is with black truffl es. bursting with fl avour, and your T-bone as food in some of yards and olive groves, with no annoy- The staff are charming. You don’t get steak honestly cooked on the grill with ances, no incessant clicking of cameras, bad, especially the feeling that you’re being robbed, or salt, pepper, and oil. If you want fi sh, go Britain’s and no shouting and glacial shrieks of being charged £100 for a plate of pasta. to a seaside town. “Parlare English?” when you spend Del Duca strikes a fi ne balance between Tuscany is just about the only place institutions today.” It was in the lovely town of Volterra genuine, simple Italian home cooking I’ll bother visiting again. Goddamnit, (Editor’s note: where poor Edward went more time on the and the rip-off, pretentiously crap res- how many places did I have to travel to to kill himself? Le Sigh.) that I stumbled taurants that relish devouring the afore- before discovering this culinary temple? – Heston Blumenthal across a restaurant that offers everything loo than off it.” mentioned arse-scratching tourists. How many stupid, long haul, nose- THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 31 FOOD

Canola Growers/flickr how to transform your cramped vegeta- Vegetable Lasagne ble lasagne into a thing of simple beauty. To make this well, you need to be We’re spreading the picky about which vegetables you want to use. I would recommend a maximum love for vegetarians! of three; any more and you risk having such a mix of fl avours that the lasagne doesn’t actually taste of anything at all. Stephen Smith This is a recipe for a simple lasagne with two vegetables: spinach and butter- It is an unfortunately ubiquitous belief nut squash. Don’t go thinking that these amongst non-vegetarian cooks that veg- are randomly selected, some thought etables are an accompaniment to a meal must go into considering which fl avours rather than a meal in themselves. This work well together. Squash and sage means that meatless dishes can often go are fantastic together, giving a sweet, catastrophically wrong. warming sensation. On the other hand, Vegetable lasagne is one of the most spinach and mascarpone complement standard dishes there is and yet it is so each other sublimely to give a sharp, very rarely done well. The problem is almost metallic feel. Combined, the fl a- that cooks tend to make up for the ab- vours give a very full fl avour, and being sence of meat by adding as many veg- only four in number, all the fl avours are etables as they can fi nd. This results in a distinguishable. If you wish, you could messy, cramped meal with far too many replace the squash with a pumpkin or fl avours mingling together. On many oc- other member of the squash family, casions I have ordered a vegetable lasa- apart from courgettes since they are too gne in restaurants, awaited it with much weakly fl avoured. You could also use excitement, only to be disappointed ricotta (or any other very creamy and when what arrives is a soggy mixture of mild cheese) instead of mascarpone. tiny quantities of aubergine, courgette, Frozen spinach is fi ne for this, though carrot, onion, pepper, tomato, fennel fresh spinach has the advantage of a and squash. No vegetable is present in new texture to add to the mix. I would suffi cient abundance to make an impact. also recommend getting hold of some You’re gonna make your Italian mama proud, and eat this whole dish of vegetable lasagne... From a vegetarian perspective it must be Lasagne Verdi (Green Lasagne) which something akin to a cook making lasa- is aptly coloured with spinach (priced gne with small portions of lamb, beef, the same as normal lasagne in Sains- Ingredients until soft enough to eat (about 15 mins). Mix the mascarpone in a large bowl pork and chicken. Here, I’ll show you bury’s). This adds an interesting visual 125g Lasagne (about 6 sheets) Melt the butter in a frying pan, then with the eggs, thyme and pepper. touch and will surprise anyone who has 450g Spinach add about 1 tbsp sage and mix briefl y Layer half the spinach on the bottom never seen it before. 450g Mascarpone before adding the squash cubes. Fry of the baking dish, followed by half the “I’ll show you how When it comes to adding seasonings, I 450g Butternut Squash until the cubes are coated in butter and squash and half the mascarpone mix- have not included quantities since this is 2 eggs sage (about 5 minutes). Set aside to cool. ture, then layer half the spinach. Repeat. to transform your very much down to personal preference. 175g grated Cheddar (or Edam) If using fresh spinach, wash it under Spread a small quantity of mascarpone Use common sense. To phrase it un- Some Butter a tap, then, without drying the leaves, mixture onto the top layer of lasagne so cramped vegetable necessarily complicatedly, add enough Seasonings: Pepper, Sage, Thyme place in a covered saucepan on a medi- it is entirely, thinly, covered. Grate the pepper so that you can taste the pepper um heat for 7-10 minutes or until tender. cheddar on top of this. lasagne into a thing but not so much that it tastes of it. This Set the oven to 180°C (gas mark 4). Don’t add water. Then drain and leave to Bake for ~35 minutes or until the recipe makes enough for about 6 people Chop the squash into cubes of ~2cm, cool. (If using frozen spinach, heat in a cheese starts to brown. Be careful to not of simple beauty.” (or 4 hungry people). then steam in a sieve over boiling water pan until no ice remains). let the cheese burn. Serve immediately.

Italian food is probably the cuisine that lows for ordering of more dishes, and you fi nd fresh pasta as silky as this, that Ciccetti: the Italian gastro-fad serves the most disparity in London. a whole lot of sharing. Boy would Joey is, unless you take the advice of Charles The big giants like Pizza Express, ASK Tribbiani disapprove. Betts and hop aboard a plane to the and Zizzi lure the indifferent diners with When faced with a menu like that at land of the Pope. The option of taking REVIEW: BOCCA DI LUPO BY DANA LI their attractive 2-for-1 deals, but what Bocca di Lupo, the meal is what you a small-sized dish also means that pasta say you to pasta that is freshly made make it. Fancy a shaved radish, cele- doesn’t have to formulate the main dish foodieguide/ flickr on the day and pesto that is so brilliant, riac and pecorino salad with pomegran- of your evening. even Berlusconi might be distracted ates and truffl e oil? Yes please. A dish Every dish is labelled with its region, from his loins for a brief moment. of fried prawns, baby squid, blood or- and the dishes on the menu constantly Say hello to Polpo, Polpetto, Bocca ange and white polenta? A large portion rotate depending on what is seasonal, di Lupo and soon (more precisely on would do me fi ne. That’s the beauty of as I found out when I visited in January. March 14), Spuntino. For all it’s worth, it all. You can opt for a larger portion The blood oranges that are now making I may just be throwing Italian nonsense when something really takes your fancy, an appearance in the atrium of Whole at you, but these spell out the growing or a small if you’ve never heard what Foods, were just arriving from Italy. line of restaurants that are catering to polenta is but you’re willing to take the Carbon footprint, whatever. the booming fashion for ciccetti, mean- fi rst step in this beautiful relationship. With a fourteen-strong dessert menu, ing Italian tapas. If you’re one to eat, dream and breathe everybody who plans to visit Bocca Gone are the days where you sit with pasta, the papardelle at Bocca di Lupo is should leave stomach space for the bri- your fork twirling through stodgy spa- quite simply heaven on earth. Rarely can oche ‘sandwich’ of pistachio, chestnut & ghetti and yearn the moment you can hazlenut gelati - the ice-cream burger as be fi nished with the bland tomato sauce I like to call it. The gelato may not rate that reminds you of the Tesco value “Boy would as highly as that of Amorino in my opin- Spag Bol you thought was already a dis- ion, but hey, it’s an ice-cream burger! tant memory. Joey Tribbiani Resembling a more authentic Italian Bocca di Lupo 12 Archer St, London Best view: the kitchen... or watching men who can cook experience, the concept of ciccetti al- disapprove” W1D 7BB. www.boccadilupo.com 32 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Travel Editors: Chris Richardson Dylan Lowe TRAV EL [email protected] European playground exposed Dylan Lowe Chris Richardson

The lowdown: Once the playground of Romans and feudal lords alike, modern Europe is now fl ocked by visitors pursuing the delights it has to offer. The diversity of cultures, languages, history, cuisine and so on are reasons us Brits should roam our continental neighbours. Culture: To say the least, it varies. From the Nor- dics to the Romanic Mediterranean coasts, from the Iberian Peninsula to the Eastern Slavic nations, Eu- rope’s appeal lies with its cultural diversity. Costs: Relatively expensive, considering the cur- rent exchange rate. Rule of thumb: prices decrease the further east you go – though this doesn’t apply in Russia – and the farther out of cities you get. Cuisine: Same as culture. Especially judging by its geographic disparity, what the land and sea yield tend to be unique from region to region. Brave up and sample unheard-of delicacies. Savour stereo- typed dishes – you’ll be surprised how gorgeous they taste when done the correct way. Must see: Hustle-and-bustle of Madrid, Spain’s capital, for a taste of Spanish dynamism, fi nest gastronomy and la vida Española Viva la España Polski Gabolski The mighty potty Dam Germanic Grandeur

It’s offi cial: Spain is cool. Forget about Costa del The shadow of WWII and Soviet rule has barely Talk Holland and be directed to Amsterdam – this If your previous memory of Germany sprang from Sol and Ibiza, lazing on beaches and gallons of lifted, yet Poland’s reputation as a budget travel- metropolitan hub is on everyone’s to-do list for a your last school language exchange, and distaste is sangria – a football world cup win later it seems ler’s destination has fl ourished. Cheap, tourism- good reason. The liberal Dutch will challenge your all you have in store for all things German, then like the world’s fascination for España has been friendly, must-do’s aplenty – the Central European attitudes and show you that there’s more to the city you’re dearly mistaken. This European country revived. Flocks of culture-pilgrims now visit Spain country ticks every box. Its history meant traces of than mere coffee shops. fulfi ls every need of the apprentice backpacker – in order to immerse themselves in its rich history, turbulence was carved onto every structure, which Accommodation: Any of the hostels on the rich culture and heritage similar to ours, friendly art, architecture and gastronomy; and although meant no shortages of attractions for those hoping streets surrounding Dam Square are perfectly lo- English-speaking natives, staggering architecture. Spain’s regional diversity often threatens its na- to engross in the authentic European culture. cated for public transport, evening entertainment And did I mention that beer remains cheaper than tional integrity, it may be interpreted as cultural Accommodation: Hostelling is fast becoming and coffee shops. The city’s resident St. Christo- water? variety for her visitors’ enjoyment. the trend and so abundances of hostels will be pher’s Inn is highly recommended as a great place Accommodation: As a beginner-level budget Accommodation: Choices are aplenty. Hostel- found in the likes of Warsaw and Krakow. Many to meet people. travellers’ destination, seeking good quality hostels ling is an ideal budget option – often housed in large-scaled hostels accommodate young families Food: Steer clear of pricey food aimed at those and low-cost guest houses presents no diffi culty. magnifi cent historical buildings adjourned with and so curfews may be imposed. Further away with the munchies. There are plenty of great tradi- Though shared accommodation does combine with Moorish and Hispanic infl uences – though increas- from the major cities, rely on guest houses for your tional pubs around: check out ‘bitterballen’ fried abundances of alcohol to produce a bastard son: ingly rare the further away one goes from cities. A kipping needs. meatballs with a ‘witbeer’, because there’s far late-night drunken rowdiness. ‘hostal’ is in between a hotel and hostel - inexpen- Food: Polish cuisine varies drastically from more to Amsterdam than McDonalds and Heinek- Food: The standard affairs of international fast sive guest houses often making a comfy lodging. place to place, often a distinction between wealth en. food chains are adherently cemented to the German Food: The French should be embarrassed when and poverty. Owing to the hardship suffered in the Transport: Grab a map and explore the city by society. That doesn’t mean, however, food charac- their prized Michelin Stars were snatched en past half-century, the people have mastered trans- bicycle, but take particular care to avoid cycling teristically German is entirely absent. The German masse by Spanish chefs – indeed, Ferran Adrià’s forming simple, common ingredients such as root into tram tracks! Day and weekly passes can be sausage may have succumbed to stereotyping, yet ‘El Bulli’ is considered as the best restaurant in the vegetables and cabbage into lavish tongue-teasers. purchased for the trams if you’re venturing out it is a hearty dish that varies from region to region entire world. The tapas culture reigns supreme in Pierogi is the uncontested national dish. further. The city centre is very small so as long as in fl avour. Meat is heavily featured in menus – try Spain and sets to wow your palate with economical Activities: The wow-factor exists in more places the weather’s bearable, your stoned legs should be the schweinshaxe, or the best roasted-to-perfection platters of sheer delight. Booze-wise, the Spanish than you may bargain for. The Jagiellionian Univer- able to handle it. crispy pork knuckle ever created. know their quality control – be impressed by their sity in Krakow, one of the oldest in the world, co- Activities: Ask at your hostel about the free Activities: Despite the substantial rub that is Ger- artisan approach to wine, beer, sherry and cider. exists with an amber royal palace and a fi re-breath- walking tours of the city and pick up some inter- many’s high living costs, there are no shortages of Activities: Hit the beaches by all means, but re- ing dragon statue. The Wieliczka Salt Mine, 300km esting facts, check out the abundance of great street sites and activities to keep tourists suffi ciently en- sist not the viscous allure of the Spanish culture. in length, is an underground wonder that boasts art, and unwind on a boat ride through the canals. tertained. Every major city has their star attractions: Architecture and historical sites aside, bull-fi ghts grandiose rock salt caverns and statues. Though not Take the time to visit the Anne Frank House and Berlin has its wall and party vibe, Cologne its carni- and football games spell out the Spaniards’ love for for the faint-hearted, every Holocaust pilgrim must the various impressive religious buildings. Waste val, Munich its Oktoberfest. For the outdoor-types a spectacle. Participate in crazy fi estas such as La visit Auschwitz and be overwhelmed by the sheer your days in coffeeshops, giggle your way through hiking in scenic Bavaria, sandboarding on Monte Tomatina. poignancy of the former Jewish death camp. the sex museum and wind up in the red light dis- Kaolino and heli-bungee might tickle your fancy. trict in search of love. THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 33 Puzzles Editors: Polly Bennett James Hook Aman Nahar [email protected] PUZZLES The Serpent - The End of Our Woes 74 46 54642 3 I couldn’t believe it. Polly Bennett, a puzzles editor, was A serpent lurks in the grid and responsible for this foul deed!!! 4 1 its segments are numbered 1 to 45. “What made you do such a cruel thing?” I asked cheesily. Each segment is linked to its previ- “Start car, lacking in malice (7), of course” 6 ous one either horizontally or ver- Revenge...Obviously. tically. The serpent does not cross “But these were such extreme lengths to go to!” I wailed. 6 itself, nor do different parts of the “If it wasn’t for the good people of Imperial sending in serpent touch, not even diagonally. these puzzle solutions to point to the kidnapper, then who 1 knows what could have transpired!” “Isn’t it fairly easy to fi gure out?” Polly retorted. “I was 8 The numbers at the ends of the rows and columns indicate the one giving hints to you this whole time. I just wanted to 5 how many segments of the ser- send a message to the editor that we will not stand for this pent there are in total. From this Daily nonsense! I was always planning to release him later. 1 given information, can you work Nonetheless, I needed you to fi gure it out because I knew out the location of the serpent? you’d be too busy doing crosswords to call the police like 5 a sensible person. The red square should lead “I see...So, one question remains. Where is Kadhim now?” 3 you to the whereabouts of our “Somewhere in Imperial. Here, this should help you fi gure editor, if you think about it... it out” 6 45 She chucked a piece of paper at me. I unfolded it and gazed at the contents. It was a blank grid that read “The Serpent”. But when I looked up again, Polly was gone, perhaps to PRINCESSQC distribute puzzles in far off lands. Hopefully for us, this Word Hunt Daily nightmare had fi nally drawn to a close. BSSEHCUDOB 1. Adult 2. Baroness AUANATLUSA Yesterday’s Solutions 3. Butterfly 4. Countess XDTJFDNWER Codeword 5. Dame 6. Doll B R A N C H C U P D A T E The message spells ZLUTOTFOLO E D E Y L L J L 7. Duchess M O V E N E S C A P 10A D E SECOND LETTER. The U O A N B I R V 8. Empress 11S A C C H A 12R I N Y A 15E second letter of each word 9. Female NOBLEWOMAN E A E F H A T R A I N in the speech spells MATT 1316C H 1417T L A L 18I B 1915I T 2016Q D Y COLVIN, the fi nal innocent 10. Gal S T E E D N F O U Z 11. Missus GALSTRDAME 2217C O A R 23S N 1824O W 19F L 25A K E person. 12. Mistress R A C E A R A L A 2620E X C H 21A N G E B B 22U L 23L 13. Noblewoman A I R K A A N O 14. Old MISSUSFNES 24M O D I F Y 25A K N I G H T 15. Princess 16. Sultana EMPRESSL FS Chess - 1. Bxf7+ Ke7 2. Bg5+ Kd6_3. Nc4+ Kc5 17. Woman 4. Na3++ SSERTSIMYM Nonogram Mentalist maze

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3 2 Apple Higher 4 3  Education Store 5 3 apple.com/uk/go/save 34 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

HANGMAN [email protected] Twatter The Hangman Guide to... Cameron_DA_Maneron!!! Getting sweaty srsly. This libya shit ever going to end? SUPERACEGORTHEROAR87 with the boys I know! I’m bored of it Yay Sport! I love SexyOsama69 the inevitable disappointment... Gadaffi keeps blamin shit on me :( SUPERACEGORTHEROAR87 1. Join Snooker society. Why? So you can ask everyone to chalk up your mas- sive cue and blow off the excess.

lol. Everything gets blamed on 2. When playing golf remember that, you these days while this may be dull now, you can get laid a lot from this. Being good at hit- Cameron_DA_Maneron!!! ting a ball into a hole with a stick is sexy apparently. Also, you probably want to make sure you know how to properly My boiler broke last week. Pretty drive a 4x4. sure Al Qaeda had something to This will give you a fair idea of what I look like, in fact he’s probably a little less toned than me do with it 3. Hey baby, you should see my cue con- SUPERACEGORTHEROAR87 trol. It’s off the chart. ously, you look a fucking mess.” noncommittal moans of support every 4. I’ll pot my balls right in the centre of now and then. your pockets. They won’t even touch the 8. Going on a night out with a sports My ceiling has got a leak. I think jaws. team? The golden phrase is “Meh, I’m 12. “I could have played for England” Al Qaeda bombed my ceiling not that impressed with you lot, I’ve Yeah, you could have, if you were much 5. Are you my referee, because I want heard Rugby are much crazier.” more talented. SexyOsama69 you to put on white gloves and polish my balls. 9. If you are a sports commentator then 13. Talking to a footballer “Rugby is the it is best to play it safe and tuck your sport of real men, it’s so much better.” 6. I’ll 147 break you while you just sit microphone in yourself. Asking for help back and watch. will only be misinterpreted. 14. Talking to a rugby player “Football Oh this is hilarious (Ed – that’s enough snooker puns...) is really the better game, much more 10. It’s not cool that you do post match skill is involved.” The_Cleggomatortrontown <3 7. Getting trapped into a conversation interviews with yourself in your head. with someone about the fringe sport You’re doing them aren’t you? Stop ask- 16., If you are talking about football and they play is one of the worst things im- ing yourself difficult questions. are not knowledgeable, never fear. Ash- aginable. The escape route is simple. If ley Cole is a prick and you don’t know My wife won’t get a boob job. I blame Al Qaeda lol it’s a man politely ask: “isn’t that a girls’ 11. When asked if you watched “the how he ever got Cheryl (make sure to sport?” If it’s a girl, ask: “have you put game” last night just say yes. Then listen include that you definitely would – this Barack_attack_l33thaxor on weight and come out without wear- to someone give a fucking opinion on applies to both men and women) and ing makeup? It looks like you have, seri- some minute detail. Vaguely say a few Andy Carroll is overpriced. That will Who are keep you looking topical. Luca De Benedetti you voting for Felix 17. Be alarmed that the flamboyantly Woah. That’s sexist Editor? I’m dressed team member who doesn’t play but is the treasurer seems very keen on SexyOsama69 going to vote communal showers. He didn’t even do for the guy one bit of exercise, why is he so sweaty? who’s most like Charlie 18. Try and find out how the tradition of Fuck me, Cleggman, you really communal showers started. Then email are a dick. Sheen. it in to [email protected]. Seriously, Seriously, how did this start? When was the fi rst the first time that a guy walked to his DRUNKEN MATE OF THE WEEK candidate sports team and just told everyone that Send your photos to [email protected]. to go on a 7 he wishes for the group to all shower to- gram rock gether. More importantly, who were the Stop sending naked photos... group of guys who decided that this was binge should a good idea and must be implemented win it... immediately? THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 35 HANGMAN

THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS Horoscopes Aid Worker’s pop quiz makes Aries Taurus This week, you wake up in a bed that isn’t This week, you’re strolling down the dehydration fun your own. You look at the guy asleep street when a lady catches your eye. As beside you and feel pretty chuffed. You she walks past you turn on your heel and take a peek beneath the sheets, you feel come up beside her. “Hey little lady,” even more chuffed. Just as you lower the you say. Suddenly everything turns duvet, he farts and you’re hit by a gust of B&W, you start speaking French and wind. You’re not chuffed... you make out on a street corner... Gemini Cancer This week, you’re at the cinema when This week, you’re sitting in the library, the person in front of you starts talking looking out the window at stressed stu- about their ex-girlfriend. Apparently she dents scurrying speedily by. A guy trips, had a third nipple but didn’t like when falls and drops his notes everywhere. you played with it. You start touching You quickly run out of the library yourself and ruin everyone’s evening screaming like a banshee and start kick- when you scream “NIPPLE HEAVEN!” ing him in the face... Leo Virgo This week, you constantly hear this This week, you’re at the end of your pumping horn noise in your ear. It’s thread. It’ Sunday, the thread store is everywhere you go. You even hear it in totally closed. Damn, what are you go- your dreams. It’s like something calling ing to do? You call up Charlie Sheen and to you. Something telling you to go par- ask him to party. He says no because last rrrtay! Aww giggidy... (The doctor disa- time you gave up after 84 hours without grees and says you’re going deaf...) sleep. YOU WIMP.

CENTREFOLD WANNABE OF THE WEEK Libra Scorpio This week, you realise that the This week, you take an epic 30 hour horoscopes might be a little less sharp nap and wake up in another dimension. than usual, but you can’t help not feeling In this new world, you have three arms, like a malicious evil cunt. Things are four legs and a girlfriend who loves pretty good at the moment. You look you for who you are, regardless of your down. A dog has eaten half of your leg. horrible extra limbs and deformities. GODDAMN! This world ain’t so bad. Sagittarius Capricorn This week, you’re bloody fed up with This week, you learn how to do a people. They’re just so friendly, and handstand. A properly good handstand. supportive. Bastards. Go jump off a You’re able to hold it for at least a few cliff. All of you! Which cliff? I don’t minutes; six minutes is your record. give a damn. As the mountain of bodies Your handstanding days end when, grows you feel an overwhelming sense during one handstand, the Burger King of satisfaction... Man karate chops your groin. Aquarius Pisces This week, some people have the gall to suggest that the Pisces horoscope is a cop out. A cop out? Was it a cop out This week the when I shagged your mum in Vietnam? Ok, maybe not. But it was fucking awesome. GIGGIDY. LAD. THE font is bigger He left his socks on... fucking amateur DAILY IS OVER... HOO-RAH 36 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Sports Editors: Jovan Nedic David Wilson SPORT [email protected] Guido’sG 60 SecondS Pit Stop Gold for Harriet as IC NetballN compete in BUCS Indoor Athletics Championships Adam Jones

Athletes from both Imperial College Athletics Club and ICSM Athletics Club travelled up to Sheffi eld on the weekend of 18-20 February Lindsay Hennah for the BUCS Indoor Athletics Championships. Competing across a wide range of both track and fi eld events, the team were looking forward >>Sum up your progress over the season so far? to an exciting weekend of sport. Currently, we are in the fi nal of the ULU cup, the semi- Starting the day early on Saturday morning fi nal of the BUCS cup, top of the ULU league, and were the 60m sprint events, which saw Pavi- joint top of our BUCS league. dra Sivanandarajah competing in the women’s category and Ewan Mackay and Adam Jones >>How do you prepare for a match? competing in the men’s. Try and get there on time, which is surprisingly dif- Following the sprints, Aaron Mason ran well fi cult for the medics... in an event he is not accustomed to, the 800m, and managed to run a new PB of 2:03.94. In ad- >>Favourite pre and post match meal? dition, Jonathan Mann, normally a 400m hur- Too nervous to eat a big meal before the game, but dler, competed in the 400m race and managed we can always rely on our GS to bring a suitable se- a respectable 54.74s, which should set a good lection of sweets for the journey! And it’s got to be benchmark for the rest of the season. Seethal- pasta and healthy serving of chocolate to follow a akshmi Muthalagappan also competed in the game, and maybe a cheeky pint if we’ve done well! women’s 400m and ran a brave race. While the events on track were taking place, >>What tune do you listen to get psyched before a Chris Jones competed in the High Jump, and game? achieved a decent height of 1.65m. Backstreet boys or Spice Girls classic hits...both so Towards the end of the afternoon Harriet 200m sprints which saw Muzzaffar Zaiviji Is- a few laps remaining, Harriet started to drive, bad they’re good. Scott, Imperial’s only long distance runner of mail compete in the men’s event and Pavidra over-taking the athlete by her side; nobody the weekend, took to the track in the 3000m Sivanandarajah in the women’s. Both athletes could live with her pace. Harriet stormed home >>How important is Varsity to you? Could it be de- women’s heats. Harriet had intended to com- ran well given the type of training they have to win the race in a great time of 9:20.53! scribed as being season defi ning? pete in both the 1500m and 3000m, but due to been doing over the winter. Rounding off the day for Imperial was Samzu Ridiculously. Having had quite a successful record, a nonsensical timetabling decision, they were All eyes were then focussed on the women’s Agbaje who competed in the men’s 60m sprint we’ve got everything to lose. It’s one of the season’s scheduled back-to-back with no rest in between; 3000m fi nal. Harriet started the race strong- hurdles. Running very well against stiff com- highlights, and always a tough game. so Harriet decided to put all her efforts into the ly, not wanting to fall behind any break-away petition, Samzu managed a respectable 8.90s. 3000m. Running confi dently, but not so quickly groups. Staying near the front of the pack for With one gold medal and lots of great memo- >>Prediction for the result? as to tire her out for the fi nals the following day, several laps, Harriet and another athlete began ries, the Imperial team left Sheffi eld in a great Despite having beaten the Imperial team already this Harriet qualifi ed easily at the head of her heat. to pull away from the main group and Harriet mood - eager for the University of London season, Varsity is always a totally different game. Last of the events on the Saturday were the really started to show her quality. With only Championships on 20 March. But obviously I’m keeping my fi ngers crossed for a 4x200m relays, which the Imperial Men’s team good win! were greatly looking forward to. Getting off to a good start, Adam Jones put Imperial into a >>Is there more pressure to achieve a result at Var- decent position, and with a nail-biting change- You’re all legends, and for that we thank you sity than any of your other games? over to Jonathan Mann which was only inches Varsity is the one thing that everyone will remember away from the outside of the changeover box, First of all, can we just apologise to the or one after that, is not that easy, but you the result to. If we manage to win either the ULU or Jonathan was in a good position coming into Ladies 1s Hockey team for getting their guys did it. When we started, we were a lit- BUCS cup this year, I think we would be even more the break. Running hard, he was able to main- headline totally and utterly cocked up yes- tle bit aprehensive about people sticking to pleased though! tain position and pass the baton swiftly to Im- terday. We realise it makes no sense and deadlines, especially if your game fi nished perial’s next runner, Ewan Mackay. Ewan ran we’re sorry. We’re sorry–- I’m picturing the at 16:00, you were all the way out in Bath >>Do you feel that the rugby match overshadows well and when the time came to pass to Aaron South Park episode about the oil spill and with no internet connection and the print the other sports? Mason on the last leg, there were only a few realising it really does work a lot better deadline was before you would get back. Netball and rugby are always both hotly contested teams in front. As Aaron received the baton, when it’s not written... Anyway, we’re sorry. So what do you do, you send the report as matches at varsity. And yes, I do think we’re over- one of the runners up ahead who had just fi n- This week has been, for lack of a better a text. AMAZING! Yes, I’m talking to you shadowed. Rugby medics aren’t the only team that ished his part of the race was slowly jogging in phrase, diffi cult, diffi cult, lemon diffi cult. In Badminton girls. Then we have the Hockey have won Varsity! Though, to be fair, the game is a lane 1, rather than exiting the track as quickly total, we have put out 18 pages of sport team who were churning out reports like real crowd pleaser – I can’t deny that I like watch- as possible. Aaron, a veteran of 4x400m run- this week – much more than those pull-out the Guiness factory churns out beers on St ing it! But I can guarantee that this year, the netball ning, wasted no time going around the obstruc- sections and I think even the news! This is Patricks Day! Ice Hockey and Fencing were matches will all defi nitely be worth watching! tion and instead dipped his shoulder and drove more of a testament to you sports people reliable as ever, big hand to Will and Char- through him, knocking the other athlete clear out there than it is to us. We are here to fa- lotte for their help. Finally, thanks to the >>Thoughts on ‘grazing’ becoming an international of the track! Aaron continued to run in the cilitate your stories, and at times give you photographers who went to the games so sport? same determined fashion and fi nished the race a gentle nudge/reminder to actually write we had some nice pics, the pages would Amongst my friends, there are lots of people who are well for Imperial. Though the team were dis- them because you said you would to your have looked bare without them. You’re all very competitive, all of whom are “grazers.” I think it appointed with the fi nal time they were given; sponsors! legends and for that we thank you. could get dangerous... 1:37.23, they certainly enjoyed the race! We tried something big; printing the sto- Right, now that that’s over, pint? The events on Sunday kicked off with the ries either the day after they happened, Jov & Dave THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 37 SPORT Fencing: Men’s fi rsts discover Miles Robertson the concept of a clean sweep while advancing to BUCS semi-fi nal

Charlotte Levin Next on piste was the foil team, this time rep- a single hit. Though the idea of just standing there Men’s Fencing resented by Ed Collier, Chris Gilliam and Robert and not having to do anything was interesting, they IC 1st 135 - 74 Bath 1st Shaw. With a previous record of fi nding it diffi cult couldn’t be worse than the girls. A full sweep was to pull out a win, they had a mental block to fi ght. in reach. It was an even match, Bath not giving up Men’s fi rst fencing team had a visit by University This Wednesday was apparently a good day for despite the circumstances. It kept on swaying back of Bath’s fi rst team on Wednesday afternoon. it; they started off by building a small lead that then and forth, Imperial’s men showing confi dence and With the women’s advancement to the semi-fi - gradually increased. In the end the score was almost Bath’s still putting up a fi ght. nals of BUCS Championships just an hour earlier, sabre standard: 45-18 and thanks to the two mas- As the last bouts begin, with Marcello represent- the men wanted to keep their pride and join the la- sive indicators, the match was now already won. ing Imperial, the score is 38-40, Bath in the lead. In dies in Sheffi eld. This presented a new situation to the epeeists a thrilling last bout, the two fencers building it up The match started a bit later than planned, a prob- Marcello Colombino, Ed Gilhead and Chris G. In to 44-44 with only 40 seconds left. The entire team lem that was soon solved by the sabreuers Maiy- previous matches, they always had a certain goal to is crossing their fi ngers, and with only two seconds uran Ratneswaran, Camille van Hoffelen, Henry reach before the victory was theirs, but this time the remaining, Marcello gets the fi nal hit. They got a Gann and Didier Nohlmans quickly and easily win- situation was more similar to the one the women’s clean sweep. They are in the semi-fi nal. It was a ning by 45-12. team almost always had. They didn’t have to score happy team leaving Ethos. Ice Hockey: League Hockey: Solid performance leaders too much for by third team see’s four goals Devil B’s scored against St. Barts

Will Mason It was clear to all where the Devils Jonnie Clowes ering in from the top of the D. slammed the goal past the despairing Ice Hockey were going wrong and coach Dolan Men’s Hockey Nerves were settled and IC settled into dive of the Bart’s GK. Imperial B’s 2 - 10 Warwick B’s spelled it out. Back on the ice, the Dev- Imperial 3s 4 - 0 St. Barts a good rhythm, now with their original In the second half IC turned the match ils held out for a further 6 minutes, but starting XI on the pitch, Cockerel scored into a training game knocking the ball A relatively up-beat third ranked team conceded a total of 5 more goals. Praise The Men’s 3’s overcame the odds to a fantastic solo goal. The goal was good around with ease. Any time Bart’s got a arrived at Streatham to see away a home must be given to goalie Gemma Bale for produce a sterling performance to em- but the celebration was pure arrogance. stick on the ball, IC won it back. Simple match with the division leaders. In the exceptional efforts to keep the puck out barrass St Bart’s 2s. Quick play mixed However Bart’s didn’t give up fi ght- hockey resulted in IC scoring their 4th second game without coach Coolegem but often defensive errors left her out- with characteristic fl air saw the 3s put 4 ing, a surging foray into the IC half led after Designer V found himself with lots the B-Team were confi dent in them- numbered in the goal-mouth. The same past a solid Bart’s team. to a brave one on one save from Sifter. of space in the D to calmly slap the ball selves although this may have manifest- mistakes were coming up, but the Devils After horrendous traffi c, the men’s 3s The loose ball was crossed in from the home to complete his brace and IC’s ed into arrogance. A solid pre-game tac- were outclassed and, in frustration, re- arrived fi ve minutes after the scheduled edge of the D and a moment of mad- rout. The fi nal whistle came as a blessed tics session by bench coaches Dolan and sorted to physical play in the third. An- push off, meaning the fi rst 11 on the ness from Fritzl saw him smashing the relief to the Bart’s team allowing IC a Runcorn made sure the team knew what other goal was followed by a penalty for pitch were the starting XI. None the less ball into his own goal. IC’s response long but joyful journey home which, due was required of them, but concerns over cross-checking by Captain Will Mason IC were energetic and their tenacity paid was instant, from the push off IC drove to unfortunate circumstances, was not Warwick’s player stats and top scorers (#52). However, the Devils steeled their off with an early goal Designer V pow- forward, the ball found Teabag who remembered by anyone. stole the focus. Added to this the line-up resolve and a complacent Warwick let was missing key elements, treachery on Rob Barakat (#11) score from Eugene the half of Assistant Captain Matt Nolan Lau (#27) on a breakaway. The heat was (#53) and Treasurer Nathan Jones (#40). turned up and a double penalty awarded A ridiculously strong line-up of 21 to both Imperial and Warwick for two Warwick players took to the ice to face players’ attempted checking. Warwick off against Imperial’s 13. From the open- retaliated with a goal, before Barakat ing face-off the puck went to the Devils’ (#11) slotted a last second goal to end defensive zone, we were going to be the game. The fi nal period a 2-2 draw on the back foot all night. Determined didn’t tell the whole story as Warwick resistance from the Devils delayed the walked out with a 10-2 victory. Never- fi rst goal until 3 minutes in, but we were theless, the Devils were proud to have not disheartened. Imperial conceded 3 in outskated them in the third and will be the fi rst, and ended the period on a pen- sure to hit the ice for some hard con- alty as Centre Sofi e Liljegren (#23) was solation training. MVP (Most Valuable called for tripping. Player) went to Sofi e Liljegren (#23). 38 Friday 4th March 2011 THE DAILY FELIX

Sports Editors: Jovan Nedic David Wilson SPORT [email protected] Felix Sports League sponsored by

Team P W D L F A Diff Index 1 Fencing W1 9 9 0 0 1210 607 603 5.00 2 Fencing M1 10 10 0 0 1229 919 310 5.00 3 Table Tennis M2 10 10 0 0 146 24 122 5.00 4 Water Polo W1 8 7 1 0 102 24 78 4.63 5 Volleyball M1 11 10 0 1 22 4 18 4.18 6 Volleyball W1 11 10 0 1 21 4 17 4.18 7 Table Tennis M1 8 7 0 1 96 39 57 3.88 8 ICSM Netball W1 14 12 0 2 573 355 218 3.71 9 Basketball M1 12 10 0 2 917 735 182 3.50 10 Tennis M1 12 9 1 2 84 60 24 3.25 11 Lacrosse M1 10 8 0 2 146 80 66 3.20 12 Squash W1 10 8 0 2 31 8 23 3.20 13 Netball W1 13 10 0 3 546 367 179 2.92 14 Rugby M1 13 10 0 3 325 171 154 2.92 15 Basketball W1 8 6 0 2 386 325 61 2.75 16 Hockey W1 13 9 0 4 67 24 43 2.23 17 Lacrosse W1 9 6 0 3 110 64 46 2.00 18 Hockey M1 10 6 1 3 37 24 13 2.00 19 ICSM Football M1 11 6 2 3 33 21 12 2.00 20 Table Tennis W1 6 4 0 2 20 10 10 2.00 DNAC Milan in 21 ICSM Hockey M3 9 6 0 3 17 27 -10 2.00 22 ICSM Hockey W1 20 10 3 7 54 48 6 1.40 Fencing: Ladies 23 ICSM Rugby M3 10 6 0 4 252 266 -14 1.40 high hopes for 24 Football M1 13 7 1 5 34 20 14 1.31 25 Badminton W1 13 7 1 5 44 60 -16 1.31 tonights game 26 Hockey M2 12 5 3 4 22 26 -4 1.25 comprehensively 27 Football W1 7 4 0 3 19 19 0 1.14 Tom Welch 28 Tennis W1 7 4 0 3 42 42 0 1.14 29 ICSM Hockey M1 11 6 0 5 26 20 6 0.91 Fresh from a much-improved performance 30 Badminton M1 11 4 3 4 44 44 0 0.91 beat Manchester against Huxley Mathletic, DNAC Milan will 31 Netball W2 11 6 0 5 409 442 -33 0.91 be holding high hopes ahead of their game 32 Fencing M2 10 5 0 4 1122 1128 -6 0.90 against Blue Box, inspite of an injury to key 33 Netball W3 8 4 0 4 247 194 53 0.50 player Marina, who faces a late fi tness test on 34 Hockey M3 10 3 3 4 10 10 0 0.50 to make it to the his broken toe. Despite the injury, team captain 35 ICSM Hockey M2 12 3 4 5 21 31 -10 0.25 Delia has played down the possibility of mak- 36 ICSM Netball W2 11 5 0 6 341 360 -19 0.09 ing any emergency loan moves since he feels 37 Ice Hockey M1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 the squad has more than enough strength in 38 ICSM Football M3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 semi-fi nals depth with the likes of Laucha, Fair Weather, 39 Lacrosse W2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 One Nils and Paparazzi. Should Marina fail his 40 Badminton M2 9 3 1 5 37 35 2 -0.33 fi tness test Delia is expected to stick with the 41 Fencing W2 10 4 0 6 1142 1170 -28 -0.40 Jack Patten fi nally winning with only 11 hits dropped over hugely improved Dr God at the back alongside 42 Fencing M3 10 4 0 6 1146 1201 -55 -0.40 Women’s Fencing 7 bouts (each bout being meant to be to 5), and midfi eld enforcer La Niña. 43 Squash M3 8 3 0 5 15 23 -8 -0.63 IC 1st 135 - 58 Manchester 1st the score landing at 45-20. This meant that there DNAC Milan went into the season with high 44 ICSM Badminton W1 9 2 2 5 32 46 -14 -0.67 was no chance of Manchester winning even if hopes but Delia’s team have failed to live up 45 Football M3 10 3 1 6 21 29 -8 -0.70 The scene, Wednesday lunchtime, Ethos; enter, the epee lost every point. With the epeeists still to expectations. They suffered a huge crisis of 46 ICSM Badminton M1 10 3 1 6 24 56 -32 -0.70 the Women’s fi rst Fencing team, they start pre- caring about their own pride, a clean sweep was confi dence at the start of February with a run 47 Squash M4 5 1 1 3 5 7 -2 -1.00 paring for the quarterfi nal match of the BUCS now what they were after. of results that read 10-0, 7-2, 10-0 all against 48 ICSM Football M2 6 2 0 4 15 18 -3 -1.00 championships against Manchester’s fi rsts. For the epee, Hannah and Outi stepped aside them! 49 Hockey W2 12 3 1 8 13 41 -28 -1.25 Feeling very confi dent of advancing, thanks and Alice was joined by Emily Bottle and However, many pundits believe that the Heli- 50 ICSM Badminton M2 7 2 0 5 23 33 -10 -1.43 to previous form, everyone was ready to win. Charlotte Levin. The fi ght appeared to be clos- ces turned a corner in their 3-0 defeat last time 51 ICSM Rugby M2 13 3 1 9 212 443 -231 -1.46 The match opened well with Imperial sabru- er at the beginning of the weapon, but Imperial out to Huxley Mathletic. Despite not scoring a 52 Tennis M2 9 1 2 6 28 79 -51 -1.67 ers Zoe Robinson, Clare Harding and Hannah started pulling away, at such a pace that by the goal for the second game running Delia’s team 53 ICSM Rugby M1 11 2 1 8 144 427 -283 -1.82 Bryars taking an early lead. This was some- fi fth bout they were leading by 25-12! In the actually controlled much of the play, ultimately 54 Rugby M2 13 3 0 10 194 334 -140 -1.92 thing kept and extended throughout the weap- end the score was 45-30 to Imperial and clean claiming a moral victory. They enter the game 55 Water Polo M1 3 0 1 2 23 30 -7 -2.00 on with the only real moment of fear coming sweep was attained. with fellow strugglers Blue Box boosted by the 56 Rugby M3 9 2 0 7 66 313 -247 -2.00 when Zoe charged her opponent and ended up Overall, the Imperial women came out on availability of their Twiga Star, who is expect- 57 ICSM Hockey W3 5 1 0 4 4 17 -13 -2.20 cross legged on the fl oor, with the team worried top with a score line of 135-58, meaning that ed to provide a formidable partnership up front 58 Hockey M4 10 2 0 8 15 31 -16 -2.20 about injury. She was fi ne, and had even won the women’s fi rst team continues their unde- with The Rev B. Good. 59 ICSM Hockey W2 11 2 0 9 21 43 -22 -2.36 the point. In the end, the sabre team set a new feated streak and make it to Sheffi eld for the DNAC Milan are expected to stick with their 60 Squash M2 12 2 0 10 16 44 -28 -2.50 record for this year and won by 45-8. semi-fi nals. This has been an impressive year tried and tested fl exible diamond formation and 61 Rugby M4 8 1 0 7 59 325 -266 -2.88 Foil was up next and Hannah was joined so far, having only dropped one weapon out of if they play their heads up football with some 62 Football M2 12 1 0 11 14 36 -22 -3.25 this time by Outi Supponen and team captain 10 matches (à three weapons each). Last year in belief Blue Box will certainly be in for a long 63 Squash M1 7 0 0 7 5 30 -25 -4.00 Alice Mitchell. Imperial took the lead in the Sheffi eld the women’s team came second, and match (well 20 minutes anyway!). In recent 64 ICSM Netball W3 9 0 0 9 186 352 -166 -4.00 fi rst bout, but Manchester made an attempt to so did the men. For the ladies, it was the same weeks the Helices have managed to achieve a 65 ICSM Netball W3 7 0 0 7 134 257 -123 -4.00 regroup in the second, scoring 8 hits which put as their 2009 result, now they’re going for third great balance between fl air and physicality, it is 5 points for a win | 2 points for a draw | -4 points for a loss them only one behind Imperial. This manoeu- time lucky. With the fi ghting spirit shown so only the mental belief that is lacking. As long vre was halted quickly by the Imperial foilists, far, Sheffi eld will not know what has hit it! as they BELIEVE, they will win this match. THE DAILY FELIX Friday 4th March 2011 39 Felix Sport sponsored by SPORT Cryptic Crossword Baseball: Falcons punch a 1 2 3 4 5 6 6 7 8 historic end to the season 9 9 10 10

...Continued from back page The year saw many new things includ- three league games the fi eld is set to be the year but retain it’s one game lead that ing new equipment, faces and a superb one of the lasting legacies of the club 11 12 12 13 15 caused the title chase to go down to the new fi eld to boot, courtesy of Sport Im- founders. very last game. perial. This wraps up an exciting and success- 14 One last comeback was in the cards in In the serene and idyllic surround- ful 2010/11 season where the Falcons 141316 1417 15 18 1915 2016 that game, which was made necessary ings where cow spotted horses graze swooped to victory in both the Fall Cup when Imperial found itself down 7-0 in and planes can be seen on approach to and the Southern League. In two short 16 21 the fi rst inning, and 7-1 as late as the fi fth Heathrow, one of the fi nest baseball years the Imperial College Falcons have 182217 17 23 1824 18 19 25 inning. The Falcons began picking away fi elds in London was built. The ballpark established themselves as a powerhouse at it however, and went into the last in- at Harlington was proposed at the end in British University Baseball. It is the 19 ning leading 8-7. The top of the inning of 2010 season and was completed in hope of the players and the committee saw Southampton tie the game, setting autumn with a ceremony fi t for Yankee that the club should continue in its suc- 2620 21 23 21 22 23 up the bottom of the ninth heroics. Stadium itself. Having already hosted cess in the future. 24

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Sunday 27 February Women’s 1s 13 Wednesday 2 March FOOTBALL HOCKEY LACROSSE TENNIS Sunday 6 March HOCKEY ULU HOCKEY ULU University of Exeter 1s 4 BADMINTON Men’s 1s 5 Men’s 2s 5 Men’s 1st 15 Men’s 1s 0 Men’s 1s 4 Women’s 1s 2 St Mary’s University College Buckinghamshire New Univer- College of St Mark and St Leeds Metropolitan Carnegie Women’s 2nd vs Goldsmiths King’s College 1s 4 1st Monday 28 February University of Bath 2s 6 3s 0 sity 1s 1 John 1s 4 12 BADMINTON ULU Saturday 5 March Men’s 2s 0 BASKETBALL Men’s 2s 0 NETBALL Saturday 5 March UCL 2s 2 Mixed 1s 5 St Mary’s University College Men’s 3s 1 FOOTBALL ULU Monday 7 March King’s College 1s 4 Men’s 1s 71 Brunel University 3s 3 Women’s 2s 30 NETBALL ULU City University London 1s 84 5s 2 Men’s 2nd vs London South- Men’s 4s 4 UCL 3s 48 bank Univeristy 1st Women’s 3rd vs St Bart’s 3rd St George’s Hospital Medical BASKETBALL ULU FENCING Men’s 3s 3 Women’s 1s 5 RUGBY Wednesday 9 March School 2s 0 Men’s 1s 78 Men’s 1s 135 Buckinghamshire New University of Chichester 2s 0 Men’s 3rd vs Royal Holloway BASKETBALL UCL 1s 96 University of Bath 74 University 6s 2 en’s 1s 4 Men’s 1s 17 2nd Women’s 2s 1 Reading 1s 20 Women’s 1st vs Roehampton NETBALL University 1st King’s College 2s 1 Men’s 3s 131 Women’s 1s 4 Women’s 2s 1 TABLE TENNIS Men’s 4th vs Queen Mary WATERPOLO Women’s 3s 40 UCL 2s 106 Buckinghamshire New Imperial Medicals 2s 0 Univeristy of London 3rd King’s College 4s 26 Men’s 1s 17 Women’s 1st vs King’s College Women’s 1s 8 University 1s 1 King’s Medical 1s 3 Newcastle University 1s 0 1st University of Warwick 1s 3 Women’s 4s 23 Women’s 1s 135 Men’s 7th vs King’s St Bart’s 4s 12 University of Manchester Men’s 2s College 6th Women’s 1s 9 1s 58 Buckinghamshire New UWIC 1s 5 University 1s 0 FRIDAY 4TH MARCH Lindsay Hennah visits Guido for a quick pit-stop: Page 36 SPORT Felix Sport sponsored by Miles Robertson Baseball: Falcons crowned Southern Champs

A. Krishnan, G. Lam & K. Ling Baseball IC 1st 9 - 8 Southampton 1st

The Imperial College Baseball team clinched the Southern League Championship last Saturday in the last game of the season, retaining the trophy af- ter a thrilling 9-8 comeback win against the South- ampton Mustangs. This brings to a close an epic season for the Falcons, winning 10 games, drawing 2 and losing 1 on the way to winning the British University Baseball Association (BUBA) double, namely the Fall Cup and Southern League. The Fall Cup, a competition between the top 6 university baseball teams in the country, was a two day event in October where the Falcons travelled north to Hemel Hempstead. Having won the sister tournament Fall Shield last year in their fi rst sea- son, Imperial was eager to test itself against sterner opposition this time around, in taking on the es- tablished powerhouses such as Nottingham and University of East Anglia. 2 wins and 2 draws in the group stages saw the Falcons face off against the Nottingham Thieves in the fi nal. Setting the standard for a season of comebacks Imperial came from behind to win on the last hit of the game. With this, the Fall Cup was brought to London for the Clean sweep for fi rst time and now resides in Ethos. With this triumph behind us, Imperial went to work defending its Southern League crown. Win- ning the fi rst 4 games in the 8 game season, Impe- rial took the division lead to the Christmas break. The Falcons kicked off the second half of the sea- Men’s Fencing son by opening their long awaited new ballpark in Harlington. The team christened the fi eld with a crucial doubleheader against second place Oxford. Fencers beat Bath to make it through to semi’s: Page 38 The resulting split saw Imperial take its fi rst loss of ...Continued on Page 39 SCIENCE COMMENT MUSIC TELEVISION TRAVEL

Has the media A doctorate in The Pythagorean Telly’s best-loved European ultimately failed plagiarism: theorem of music: cops and robbers: playground exposed: science? Page 11 Page 22 Page 24 Page 28 Page 32