OCTOBER 2016
a spiritual parenting resource
homefrontmag.com MODELING GETTING STARTED
25 22 A LIFE-CHANGING BLESSING. 12 ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH SELF-CONTROL? LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE! We believe that the Holy CONTENTS Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who FAMILY TIME causes spiritual growth and formation when and Family Verse 5 as He chooses. As such, Capturing the Season 6 we have articulated 10 Wooden Pumpkins distinct environments to Storytelling 8 create in your home. We Gentle Care desire to create spiritual space, which we refer Worship 10 Perfect Love to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can Conversation Starters 11 move freely. Clinging to Peace Create 12 Ephesians 5:1 (ESV) says, “Be imitators of God, as beloved children.” We Be the Light know that children love to imitate, so what do we as parents want them to Game Time 14 imitate? As a parent, one of my deepest desires is for my kids to imitate God’s Waiting for My Turn truth. The environment of MODELING, then, becomes an expression of that. Family Time Recipe 16 We become living representatives of what that truth means. Bacon and Egg Cups We are people who have experienced God’s love through Christ and Kids in the Kitchen 18 God’s forgiveness in the model of Christ. Christ was and is our living example. Fruit Cones The environment of MODELING serves as a hands-on example of what it Prayer 20 means for all of us to put our faith into action. Praying for Fruit This month, as you model for your family what it looks like to live out a God's Word 22 compelling and authentic faith, our prayer is that your first-hand experience Listening for God's Voice of God’s truth and love would be on display for others. Tot Time Rhyme 24 Michelle Anthony Get Up Executive Pastor: Parenting, Junior High, and Children | New Life Church Blessing 25 Family Ministry Ambassador | David C Cook Twitter @TruInspiration Taking Action 26 The Exodus Road Global 28 New Zealand INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT
OUR MISSION Student ID 30 Modeling Love
parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually Everyday Mom Blog 32 INSPIRE Harvest of Goodness forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life. Everyday Dad Blog 34 Through Her Little Eyes EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Tough Topics 36 Choosing Joy SUPPORT families to engage their communities Marriage 38 and change the culture around them. The Great Faithfulness of God Spiritual Grandparenting 40 Filled with Joy
Design and layout by Stephanie Reindel | [email protected] Special Feature 42 What I Wish You Would Do Cover photo by Ashley Wonderly | awonderlyphotography.com Backdrops & Woodwork by Reclaimed Projects | Facebook: ReclaimedProjectsTX Book Spotlight 44 Speak Life © 2016 New Life Church 3 MODELING | homefrontmag.com EDITOR'S NOTE As we began to brainstorm living in the environment of MODELING, we asked our team, “What does love look like?” That felt like an appropriate question, since our summary statement for this environment is, “I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.” After all, if we are going to see Christ in each other, it will most certainly be by the way we show love—right? But one of our wise writers reminded us that the sign of a Christ-follower is really found when we bear the fruit of God’s Spirit, as detailed in Galatians 5:22–23. Love leads the list, but not to the exclusion of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This month’s issue of HomeFront is brimming with fresh ways to offer your fruit to nourish others and invite them to see Christ in the life of your family. This can only be done by the power of God’s Spirit—no amount of trying harder on your part can produce lasting fruit. From our GAME TIME (page 14) which focuses on patience, to our TOUGH TOPICS (page 36) about choosing joy, you will be inspired with new ideas. Our EVERYDAY DAD BLOG (page 34) shares about a sobering moment for one dad as he looked at a photo of his one-year-old daughter. We also have a SPECIAL FEATURE this month from Courtney Westlake as she shares, "What I Wish You Would Do" (page 42), reflecting on how our children react to other children or adults with disabilities. We are thrilled to include the introduction to Brady Boyd’s newest book, Speak Life in our BOOK SPOTLIGHT (page 44). This life-changing book about the importance of the words we speak is a must-read for every parent. Once again, we are grateful that you invite HomeFront into your lives. It's an honor we do not take lightly! Debbie Guinn Editor in Chief | New Life Church [email protected]
WWW.HOMEFRONTMAG.COM FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture Things you won't want to miss: can be an incredible • Parent blogs to inspire you practice to engage in as a family. But words • Mobile-friendly format in and of themselves will not • Lots of downloadable giveaways necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who • Marketplace to purchase article bundles transforms. We come to know and more! God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His The website is filled with fresh ideas and creative Holy Spirit through the words resources to help you spiritually parent your children. we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up LET’S BE SOCIAL! to God as they commit the verse to memory.
Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold HomeFrontSP HomeFrontMagSP HomeFrontSP HomeFrontSP your family memory verse Share your photos using the hashtag #homefrontmag each month!
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6 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time capturing the season
WOODEN PUMPKINS
In a season filled with spooky décor, these pumpkins will be a welcome change for your mantel, entryway, or even arranged on your party table. Allow these beautiful wooden pumpkins to serve as a reminder of the fruit we can model to others when we are filled with God’s Holy Spirit.
WHAT YOU'LL NEED WHAT YOU’LL DO • 3 round slices of wood in 1. Paint your three round slices of wood with the orange different sizes—purchase at acrylic paint. any craft store 2. While they are drying, use the saw to cut the thick twigs or • orange, brown, and black balsa wood sticks to desired length to make pumpkin stems. acrylic paint 3. If using the balsa wood sticks, paint them with brown • coiled floral wire acrylic paint. • wire cutters 4. Using the glue gun, attach the balsa sticks or large twigs to • balsa wood sticks or thick the back of the wood slice. twigs to create pumpkin stems 5. Cut a length of coiled floral wire and wrap around • paintbrush the “stems.” • alphabet stencils or black 6. Curl wire by wrapping it around your finger or a pencil. permanent marker 7. Using stencils or a marker, decorate the • hot glue gun and glue sticks pumpkin by listing the fruits of the Spirit: Love – Joy – Peace – Patience – Kindness – Goodness – • saw Faithfulness – Gentleness – Self Control. by Debbie Guinn Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has more than 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Her most cherished time is spent hanging out with her grandkids—they are her favorite people on this planet!
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7 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 8 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time storytelling GENTLE CARE
Trisha walked into her garage and heard a strange window in the garage. He perched on the windowsill, noise. She followed the muffled sound to a rug that was as if he was waiting for Trisha to return to say goodbye. rolled up on the side of the garage. Peep! Peep! The Then, all of a sudden, the bird flew out of the window. noise she heard sounded like a distress call. Quickly, He was gone! Her friend had finally gained the strength she unrolled the rug and saw that a tiny hummingbird he needed to fly away. Trisha's gentle, loving care had was caught inside. “You poor thing!” said Trisha to the allowed the bird to get strong enough to fly away on bird, who was lying still inside the rug. “Come on, little his own. bird,” Trisha coaxed, watching to see if the bird would move or attempt to fly away. It didn’t. She thought PARENTS quickly. The bird could’ve been trapped there for days We live in a world full of wounded and broken and was probably dying of thirst. Trisha ran inside her people. Undoubtedly, your children will both witness house, grabbed a small, shallow bowl, and filled it with and experience brokenness on their life journeys. water. Carefully, she picked up the bird with tender When Jesus came across hurting people, He always fingers and lifted its beak to the water, hoping he would responded with gentleness and compassion. What a muster the strength to drink. The bird didn’t drink, so model for us and our children! Philippians 4:5 says, “Let she put him back down on the rug to rest. “How can I your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” feed this little bird?” she thought to herself. Her mind When we follow Jesus’ example of handling others with quickly went to her brother, Steve, who was just a baby gentleness, they have the opportunity to experience and too young to drink on his own. Steve drank out of God's love and nearness. a bottle. Well, Trisha didn’t have a bird-sized bottle, but she looked through her house and found a small eye- SOMETHING MORE dropper that her mom used to give the kids medicine when they were sick. “This should work,” Trisha said Discuss the following questions with your children: to herself. She filled the eye-dropper with water and • What do you think would have happened gently put it up to the bird’s mouth. To her relief, the if Trisha did not treat the hummingbird little sick hummingbird swallowed a sip of water—then, with gentleness? another and another. After the bird had drunk his • What does gentleness look like in your life? fill, Trisha found a small shoebox from her house and filled it with soft rags. Carefully, she lifted the bird into • Do you think people would describe you as the box and made him as comfortable as possible for gentle? Why or why not? the night. • How have you experienced God’s gentleness in As soon as Trisha woke up the next morning, she your life? rushed to the garage to check on her bird. He was • When are times you might need to show still there, in the small box, chirping louder than ever. gentleness to others? Once again, she filled the eye-dropper, and gently fed water to her sweet bird. She noticed that this time, the bird seemed a bit thirstier and was able to drink more. by Rae Lynn Lott Several days went by, and the bird became stronger. Rae Lynn is a part-time freelance writer and a full-time domestic Trisha no longer had to feed the bird with the eye- queen. After years of working and volunteering in youth and dropper, but now filled a small bowl with water for her family ministries, she was promoted to the position of full-time feathery friend. mom. Rae Lynn lives in southern California with her husband, Chris, and two children, Emmersyn and Hunter. She enjoys snow Then, one day when Trisha came home from school skiing, San Diego beaches, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and went to check on her bird, he was no longer in carpool karaoke, and reading a good book. She is also passionate his little shoebox! She quickly scanned the garage and about spiritual parenting and teaching her children what it means noticed that the hummingbird had flown to an open to know and follow Jesus.
Illustration by Dana Zimmerman, dlzimmerman.com 9 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time worship PERFECT LOVE
Love is a word we use so often. I sometimes wonder Before you gather your family, write Bible verses if my kids really understand what it is and where about God’s love on some 8.5" x 11" sheets of paper it comes from. On any given day, my boys will talk (one for each verse). Cut around the verses to create about the many things they love—their friends, the heart shapes. As your family gathers, ask each family new Star Wars toy, a TV show, or even a meal. member to choose a heart to read aloud. Help As we spend this month in the environment of younger family members read their verses. Talk about modeling, I can’t help but think about the never- each verse with your family. ending, unfailing love of the Father. The love God models isn’t something we can conjure up on our SOME QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER: own, but is something He gives to us so we can, • How does this make you feel? in turn, give it away to others. I know that for me, • What does this verse tell us about God’s love? when I open myself up to receive love from God, it causes me to love Him even more! As we think • When was a time that you felt God’s love? about modeling love for our children, let’s give them • When have you seen others sharing God’s love a chance to focus on God’s great love for them, and with you or someone else? then worship together out of a deeper understanding As you talk, affirm your kids' feelings, and be open of what true love is. and honest about your own feelings. Our stories and experiences can help our children to experience WHAT YOU’LL NEED God. Whether it’s by modeling your own love for • 4 sheets of paper God, or modeling what it looks and feels like to • scissors receive God’s love, your children will benefit from your story. • pen Close your time by turning on a worship song • Bible verses: about God’s love—don’t hesitate to ask your children —— “But God shows his love for us in that while for a suggestion of their favorite song! Enjoy a time we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” together letting God know how much you love Him Romans 5:8 ESV and how thankful you are that He loves us. —— “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; by Angelina Pavone and so we are.” 1 John 3:1a ESV Angelina Pavone is the Early Childhood Director at —— “For God so loved the world, that he gave ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA. She loves being his only Son, that whoever believes in him a wife and a mama to her two boys as well as serving the should not perish but have eternal life.” families in her ministry. John 3:16 ESV —— “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
10 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time conversation starters CLINGING TO PEACE
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27
If you are anything like me, you read this verse and think, "I need to cling to these words!" But something I’ve learned recently is that these are words our children need to cling to as well. Every year I work with hundreds of children, and over the past 10 years I’ve noticed more and more kids struggling with worry and anxiety. Unchecked worry in kids can have serious consequences, so make sure you regularly check in with your family about the worries they face. Remind them that we can rely on the Holy Spirit in anxious times to give us His peace. GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING: • What are some things you are worried about? • Read John 14:27. These are Jesus' own words. What does He mean when He says He gives us peace? • When have you experienced the peace of Jesus? • When you see your friends worry, what can you do to help them understand the peace that Jesus gives us? • What are some ways that you can model peace to others?
by Krista Heinen Krista is the NextGen Associate Pastor at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. Krista helps equip and support the families at Elmbrook through resources, events, and conversations.
Twitter @KristaHeinen
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family time create BE THE LIGHT
BE A PINEAPPLE—STAND TALL, WEAR A CROWN, AND BE SWEET ON THE INSIDE!
This month, as you create these pineapple lights with your family, discuss the importance of being a light to others. Share with them that people are drawn to God when they see the evidence of His Holy Spirit in our lives. We do not shine brightly in our own strength; rather our dependence on God allows His Spirit to light our lamps and keep them burning!
WHAT YOU’LL NEED WHAT YOU’LL DO • Mason jars in various sizes (1 per family member) 1. Cut tissue paper into small pieces. • yellow tissue paper 2. Use Mod Podge to adhere tissue, • Mod Podge covering Mason jar. Allow to dry. • black and green acrylic craft paint 3. Add details with black paint. • paintbrushes 4. Cut leaves from felt and use the hot glue gun to glue pipe cleaners inside • scissors each leaf to make the leaves stand tall. • green felt (2 sheets per family member) 5. Glue leaves to the lid of the Mason jar. • pipe cleaners (3 per family member) 6. Paint lid green. • glue gun with glue sticks 7. Insert battery-operated tea light. • battery-operated tea lights (1 per family member) 8. Place lid on jar and let your light shine! by Debbie Guinn
DOWNLOAD A FREE DESIGNED PRINTABLE AT bit.ly/HomefrontBeAPineapple
13 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 14 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time game time WAITING FOR MY TURN
WHAT YOU’LL NEED as “the other team.” Or you can have two kids on a • at least 40 blocks (the smaller the better; they team together, while the parent is on his own team. can be different sizes) It is most important for the child(ren) to be on a team with multiple members so they can experience • masking tape waiting for their partner to finish stacking. If you are a family of two, snag a timer and make BEFORE YOU START this a race against the clock! You and your child will Clear out an open space in your home and, using take turns stacking your blocks before time runs out! the masking tape, place two starting lines on the floor, four or five feet apart. Separate the blocks into REMEMBER two equal piles and place each pile an appropriate distance away from its starting line, depending on Have you ever been so excited for Christmas or the size of your room. The distance is not crucial, but your birthday to roll around that it seemed like time keeping the blocks further away will add an extra inched by? Maybe your kids have experienced this as layer to the game. well. Or maybe playing this game got them itching for the seconds to fly by faster as they waited for their teammate to stack the blocks. TIME TO PLAY! Remind your children that waiting can be hard, Split your family up into two teams and designate a especially when something exciting is happening. starting line for each. Explain to your family that this Similar to this game, there will be many times in life is similar to a relay race and the fastest team will win. when you eagerly wait. Maybe you want to take your When you say, “Go,” the first player on each team will turn at something, maybe you are looking forward run up to the pile of blocks and stack the first five to a trip, or maybe something is really bugging you on top of each other. The other player(s) must wait and you just don’t think you can take it anymore. No patiently until her partner has successfully stacked all matter the situation, God asks us to be patient; it is five blocks and run back to tag her. Once the player one of the many fruits of the Spirit. is tagged, she may take her turn running up to stack the next five blocks on top of what was started. PARENTS As the tower of blocks becomes higher and less sturdy, it may crash to the ground. If this happens, You have the amazing opportunity to model the player who knocked it over must stay and rebuild patience or forbearance to your children. While the tower until it stands, leaving the other player(s) parenting may attempt to drain you of any patience waiting for their turn until it is completely put you felt you had, this is where your opportunity lies. back together. What better way to model this fruit than to draw from the overflow of the Holy Spirit to demonstrate, in real Players will continue rotating through the relay time, what supernatural patience can look like? until one of the teams wins by having all of their blocks stacked up like a tower. by Heather DePartee WHAT IF WE ARE A FAMILY OF 2 OR 3? Heather has been in children’s ministry for seven years and is Don't worry! If you are family of three, we have a currently working at The Well Community Church in Fresno, CA, as the Kids Ministry Director for one of their three couple of options for you. You can have one parent campuses. She has gone back to school for a degree in early partner with the child and the other parent fly solo childhood development and is loving every second! She is married to Adam and has a thing for pretty house plants.
15 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 16 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time family time recipe BACON & EGG CUPS
This fresh new breakfast idea will be a great way for you to set an example for your children to follow: fill the first muffin cup with all the ingredients and then allow them to take it from there, layering each item in the same order as you did. Prep Time: 20 min. Total time: 55 min. Yields: 6 egg cups
WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 12 slices bacon • 1 can refrigerated buttermilk biscuits • 6 eggs • salt and pepper, if desired
WHAT YOU’LL DO 1. Heat oven to 350° F. 2. Cook bacon over medium heat—about 4 minutes or until cooked but not crisp, turning once. (It will continue to cook in the oven.) Set aside. 3. Spray 6 jumbo muffin cups with cooking spray. 4. Separate dough into 6 biscuits. Place 1 biscuit in each muffin cup, pressing dough three-fourths of the way up sides of cups. 5. Place 2 bacon slices in each biscuit cup. 6. Crack an egg over each. 7. Season with salt and pepper. 8. Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until egg whites are set. 9. Run a small knife around cups to loosen. 10. Serve immediately.
by Debbie Guinn
17 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 18 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time kids in the kitchen FRUIT CONES
Enjoy this fun way to eat fall fruit while sharing with your children the ways we can bear spiritual fruit in our lives. Remind them that when we are loving, joyful, peace-filled, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled, we model to others what it looks like to be filled with God’s Spirit. Prep Time: 20 min. Yields: 8 cones
WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 12 waffle cones • 1 pound fresh apples, diced • 1 pound fresh pineapple, diced • 1 1/2 cups cantelope, diced • 12 ounces fresh blueberries • 12 ounces red grapes, halved • 4 kiwis, peeled and diced • 1 (15 ounce) can mandarin oranges in juice, drained well and sliced into halves
Honey Lime Dressing • 1/4 cup honey • 2 teaspoons lime zest (about 2 medium limes) • 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
* For an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”
WHAT YOU’LL DO 1. Add all fruit to a large mixing bowl. 2. In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the honey, lime zest, and lime juice. 3. Pour dressing over fruit just before serving and toss to evenly coat. 4. Scoop fruit into cones using a slotted spoon so dressing can drain. (Too much dressing will cause the cones to become soggy and leak.) 5. Transfer to a container with a lid and freeze for 6 hours.
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family time prayer PRAYING FOR FRUIT
I grew up in Sunday school, so like any “good to practically display that characteristic at Sunday school kid,” I could rattle off the fruit home, at school or work, with friends, etc. of the Spirit in five seconds flat. However, I For example, if I were to draw the word do not recall anyone ever taking the time to “gentleness,” I might say, “I could show push me to the next level and ask me what gentleness when talking with my husband. those words meant, or what they looked like Sometimes I get irritated and come across as in my life. The fruit of the Spirit described in harsh or critical, but God is gentle with me Galatians 5:22–23 is more than just a Christian and calls me to be gentle with others as well.” super-list. It is the evidence that we truly do If the person who draws the slip gets stuck, know God and are being transformed by Him. the rest of the family can help brainstorm too. It’s hard to tell types of trees by their Keep going until all of the slips are drawn. branches or leaves alone, but once they begin (You could do this all at once, or over the bearing fruit, it is obvious to everyone what course of the month.) they are. In the same way, when we display The fruit of the Spirit can sometimes feel love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, overwhelming, as it exposes how far away we faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, are from being the people God has made us others see the evidence that we are who we to be. Because of our sinful nature, we are not say we are—chosen, loved children of God in naturally loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, whom the Holy Spirit is pleased to dwell. good, faithful, gentle, or self-controlled! God This month, write down each of these is the only one who perfectly embodies all of words on a slip of paper: these qualities. The good news is that God does not expect us to merely “try harder to be • love better.” Instead, He has put His Holy Spirit in • joy us, and the Spirit is the one who transforms us and makes us more and more like God. • peace Therefore, I encourage you to end your family • patience time with prayer. Pray for each family member, • kindness that God might continue to transform each of you and help you to display the fruit of the • goodness Spirit as evidence that you belong to Him, and • faithfulness as a model to the world of who He is. • gentleness • self-control by Emily Schulz Put the nine slips of paper into a jar and Emily is the Director of Family Ministries at New shake the jar to mix them up. Then, as a Denver Church in Denver, CO. She is enjoying the family, take turns pulling slips out of the jar. newlywed life with her husband, Phil, and recently The person who pulls out the slip should graduated with her MDiv from Denver Seminary. read the word and then brainstorm ways
21 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 22 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time god's word LISTENING FOR GOD'S VOICE
Do you ever feel like you need an extra-strong dose READ IT of self-control? Like, for instance, when you’re eating Read Galatians 5:22–25 and Genesis 3:1–13 out loud chocolate, or watching Netflix, or trying to go to bed to your family. at a healthy time, or all three of those simultaneously? Nah, me neither. Retell the story of Genesis 3 in your own words, focusing on Adam and Eve's choice to listen to Needing more self-control has been part of the the serpent’s voice rather than God’s. Discuss human story since the beginning. In the first pages how listening to the truth can empower us to be of the Bible, we find Adam and Eve enjoying life in a self-controlled, and strengthen us to not give in to garden. As the story goes, the serpent tempts them to temptation like Adam and Eve did. Ask each person eat from the tree from which God had commanded if he is willing to share one area where more self- them not to eat. Both Adam and Eve exercise about control is needed. as much self-control as I, um, I mean, my wife does with Downton Abbey episodes, and they eat the fruit, DO IT bringing sin into their relationship with God. And I don’t need to give you examples of how sin still Weather permitting, take your family outside and damages our relationships and world today. direct them to listen for the loudest, most obvious sound. Is it traffic? Is there music playing? Is the Like those first children of God, we need more wind howling? Then, have everyone close their eyes, self-control, which the Bible refers to as fruit of the take a deep, slow breath, and listen intently. Keep Spirit. But how do we get it? By gritting our teeth, listening silently for a minute or two. Take note of clenching our fists, and trying harder? We all know what you hear. Are there any birds? Are there leaves that doesn’t work for long. I want to suggest that our rustling in the breeze? What are you hearing now, lives will be characterized by more self-control if that you didn’t notice when focusing on the loud, we quiet ourselves, close our eyes, and listen to the obvious sounds? Holy Spirit. Encourage your family, when they are sensing When the serpent approached Adam and Eve, the need for more self-control, to close their eyes he questioned God’s goodness—God’s care for (figuratively or maybe even literally) and listen for them. The voice of the deceiver was the loudest God’s voice of truth, telling them He is with them, voice they heard, and sadly, they listened to it. They that He loves them, that His way is best for them. surely had heard God speaking life-giving truth to Pray as a family that with the help of God’s Holy them in the garden: “You are loved”; “I adore you”; “I Spirit you will be able to model self-control to those know what’s best for you.” God’s first children let the God has placed in your lives and that you will listen volume of the lies drown out the truth, which then and hear God’s voice in new and empowering ways drove them to give in to this horrible choice, with this month. catastrophic results. But the good news was that God was there to continue speaking truth to them—to restore their by Jason Kliewer relationship. And God is here today. Amidst the Jason is a husband and a dad of two daughters and a blaringly loud lies around us, God’s voice—though Community Pastor at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, sometimes a whisper—is here, if we will stop and CA. He has a masters in biblical studies from Grace University listen for it. in Omaha, NE.
23 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time tot time rhyme (ages 3 & under)
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your SIT AT ALONG children. Talk about them when HOME THE ROAD you SIT AT HOME and when you walk ALONG THE ROAD, when you LIE DOWN and when you GET UP.
Deuteronomy 6:6–7 LIE DOWN GET UP
This month as your little one wakes, remind her of the fruit of God’s Spirit that we can model in our lives by singing this sweet rhyme to the tune of Mary Had a
GET UP Little Lamb.
1. ,
Love, joy, peace, and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, I live for you, my Lord.
by Izzi Ray Izzi is a singer, songwriter, artist, and musician.
Blog Izzi.Ray.com Instagram @izziray Twitter @izziray
Get the audio recording of this song at bit.ly/octobertottime Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re teaching your children, use repetition!
24 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time blessing
A BLESSING CAN BE A PRAYER OF COMMISSION, A BIBLE PASSAGE, OR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. BLESSINGS CAN BE SPOKEN OVER A CHILD FOR THE PURPOSE OF DECLARING GOD’S PROTECTION, JOY, AND WISDOM OVER HIM.
When Paul defines the fruit of the Spirit in BLESS his letter to the Galatians, he calls it out in As you bless each other this month, think stark contrast to what we produce when we of one way each of your family members live by the flesh, or when we act out of our displays the fruit of the Spirit and what that own selfish desires. He challenges us to "walk teaches you about God. For example, for my in step with the Spirit," and when we do this, very joyful daughter I might say, "My joyful we will bear fruit. daughter, because you display such joy in Notice we don't have to grow the fruit, each new day, you teach me how God delights we are supposed to bear it. We, as people in His creation." who live by the Spirit and walk in step with After you have blessed each person in the Spirit, will have this fruit because of the your family with those words, finish with very Spirit of God living inside us, and we this blessing: are to put it on display. This will run counter- culture to life by the flesh, or what the world (Child’s name), may your life display the fruit offers, and therefore needs to be supported of the Spirit, who lives inside you. May love, and celebrated by our families. How do you joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, see Christ in each of your family members faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control because of the fruit they bear? define you, and may you display Christ to all you meet. READ Read Galatians 5:22–26 together, pointing by Courtney Wilson out each trait of the Spirit's fruit and defining Courtney is the Elementary Director at Christ them for your children as needed. Community Church in the suburbs of Chicago. You can usually find her chasing her four amazing kids around with coffee in one hand and a camera in the other.
25 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time taking action
749 SUPPORTED RESCUES 112 OPERATIVES EMPOWERED
investigative work into over 250 brothels, he and Laura began The Exodus Road in January 2012. The bedrock ideas were that: ordinary people can make a difference in modern abolition, nationals should be empowered to impact their own communities, collaboration is essential for freedom, innovation and strategy are components of effectiveness, and rescues with local police and resulting legal action are critical to making human trafficking more dangerous for criminals. Although the nonprofit is not religiously affiliated, they chose the name “The Exodus Road” based on HOW WE STARTED the biblical concept of the Israelite exodus from The Exodus Road began through the journey and slavery—the time when the people came out of work of co-founders Matt and Laura Parker. Moving bondage under Egyptian rule. They included the to Asia with their family in April 2010, Matt and term “road” to symbolize the practical nature of Laura initially directed a children’s home for hill-tribe the organization’s work to move beyond theory into girls in rural northern Thailand. One year later, after action, past developing concept, and into actual steps stepping away from his role at the children’s home, of movement along freedom’s path. Matt began networking within the counter-trafficking In the summer of 2013, Matt and Laura moved community of NGO’s in the area, specifically in the back to Woodland Park, Colorado, where they area of intervention. He eventually began working continued on personal support in the hopes of with local police to identify victims of trafficking raising funds to empower the work of 15 investigators and started to see firsthand the deficiencies of they had personally worked alongside and who intervention efforts due to a lack of funding, needed funding and covert gear. They worked from collaboration, training, and equipment. After building their kitchen table with two laptops, and knew if relationships for nearly two years with both the something didn’t open up in the first three months, government and local NGO’s, and through his own they’d need return to “regular” jobs. They received
26 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time taking action
640 NATIONALS TRAINED 234 SUPPORTED ARRESTS their first official grant in the fall of 2013 from a Equip Nationals private foundation and opened an office above a tire The most effective force for change in any society shop in their small town. From there, the work and is to mobilize the men and women of that culture. vision of The Exodus Road grew quickly. We dedicate resources to training and equipping In the summer of 2014, Matt and Laura moved nationals with knowledge, support, and technology back to Southeast Asia to oversee the field office. to find and free slaves in their own backyards and in The Exodus Road stateside office moved to their home countries—The United States included. Colorado Springs, where it remains today under the management of VP of Global Ops, Kevin Campbell. Encourage Collaboration Despite wearing many hats—a common necessity for We believe the anti-trafficking movement cannot any start-up nonprofit—Matt currently serves as the afford isolation. It is with this spirit that we invest CEO and Laura is the Sr. VP, as well as the VP of in collaborative efforts with other practitioners and the Communications. governments, including the sharing of resources and Matt and Laura have since been joined by a tribe technology and the coordination of events, especially of committed staff and volunteers active on three through our leadership in The Liberty Alliance. continents, and they continue to be honored to help empower such courageous and persevering work on LEARN MORE behalf of freedom. Read survivor stories, learn more about The Exodus Road, donate, or volunteer! WHAT WE DO Website TheExodusRoad.com Empower Rescue Facebook The Exodus Road Our primary focus lies in ushering in strategic, holistic rescue for current victims of slavery. We vet, Instagram @TheExodusRoad train, fund, and equip operatives to collect evidence Twitter @TheExodusRoad of trafficking, and then work with police to bring freedom. We also support victim services throughout Pinterest The Exodus Road the rescue and transition process.
27 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time global
Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mind-set in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ... NEW ZEALAND?
Situated in the southwest Pacific Ocean, New Zealand proper, with a total area of 103,738 square miles, consists of the North Island, covering 44,274 square miles including small islands nearby; the South Island, 57,870 square miles; Stewart Island, 674 square miles; and various minor outlying islands.
Australia
New Zealand
QUICK STATS
48% CHRISTIANITY 42% NO RELIGION 2% HINDUISM POPULATION 4,596,700 LANGUAGE ENGLISH RELIGION 1.5% BUDDHISM
28 MODELING | homefrontmag.com family time global
NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF NEW ZEALAND, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.
There are nearly 4.6 If you went to church To talk with your To greet someone, million people that call in New Zealand, you friends in New you would say, New Zealand their home. would most likely go Zealand, you would “Hello.” to a Christian church. speak English.
If you lived in New Zealand, your food would be largely driven by local ingredients. New Zealand yields produce from land and sea and it is a long-standing tradition for food to be cooked in earth ovens, known as hāngi. New Zealanders are passionate about good ice cream—one favorite is hokey pokey, creamy vanilla ice cream with pieces of honeycomb. New Zealanders also love their pavlova. A meringue-type dessert that's topped with cream and fresh fruit, pavlova is a permanent fixture at many family Christmas dinners.
• The longest place name in the world is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, DID YOU a hill in Hawkes Bay, New Zealand. • New Zealand is home to the world’s smallest dolphin species. KNOW? • The word "Kiwi" is a nickname for a New Zealander. According to the results of HSBC’s Expat Explorer Survey, New Zealand ranks number one as the kindest and most friendly country to move to. New Zealand ranks first in all four categories: (easiest to) befriend locals, learn the local language, integrate into the community, and fit into the new culture. As new people move into the country, they report, “New Zealanders as a whole seem like happy people, and that translates into friendly, helpful and kind people.” Other positive aspects include a “pitch-in-and-help mentality.” www.expatexplorer.hsbc.com/survey/
29 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 30 MODELING | homefrontmag.com equip student id (6th to 8th grade)
MODELING LOVE
As a Jesus follower, I have a strong desire to see and value what I am challenging them to do. When God’s best in my life, my marriage, and my children. I drop them off at school in the morning and we are As a parent of six, with another one on the way, going through the carpool line, I begin to pray for one of my greatest challenges is trying to create an their school. By modeling this to them, I reinforce my environment for that to happen! When I think about relational equity as a parent and encourage them to my kids throughout the week, I pray and dream for love people in the same way. God to use them in amazing ways. I hope for each Another thing I have done to model the value of one of them to passionately pursue Jesus, to love loving people the way Jesus did is to open up our people the way He did, and to value what He valued. home to my teenagers' friends. As an introvert, the When I don’t see this happening, I get frustrated and last thing I want to do upon coming home from work impatient with God, and even with my children. at the end of the day is to have a bunch of teenagers Then, God reminds me as I read Galatians over to my house. And yet, this is one area that God 5:22–23, “But the fruit the Holy Spirit produces is has been pushing me to change. If we are to love love, joy, and peace. It is being patient, kind, and people like Jesus did, then we have to be willing good. It is being faithful and gentle and having to sacrifice for them. My kids are seeing me model control of oneself” (NIrV). Every time I read the Bible sacrificial love when I open “my” home and allow I am challenged to see what God wants to speak to others to use “my” things. As a Jesus follower, I realize me. I get frustrated with my kids when they don’t love that these things don’t actually belong to me, but people the way Jesus did, but after reading those rather have been entrusted to me by God to steward verses, I have to ask myself, “Do I love people the way well. But, my kids know that I am an introvert and Jesus did? Is that a fruit of the Spirit I see each day in that I have a hard time allowing people to “invade” my own life?” my space and use my things. By doing this, I now One of the things God continues to teach me is have some equity to challenge them to love others this—in order for me to have any relational equity sacrificially and give of their time and things. with my kids as a parent or authority in their lives, I Here is one of the greatest things about modeling must model what I am asking and hoping for in them. love to your kids. You may think that this in some way Let me share with you how I have tried to implement will bring about transformation in your children, and this lately. in all likelihood it will! But, by doing the hard thing I have been challenging my teenagers this year of modeling love, God will also transform YOU in to pray for and love the students at their school. In amazing ways! order to back up my words, I chose to do something uncomfortable this past week. I went to their high by Chris Steenmeyer school during the lunch break to meet up with them and a few of their friends to pray over their school. Chris and his wife, Sarah, have been married for three years, and each brought three kids to their marriage. He works as We met at the flagpole and prayed together in full the Children’s Pastor at Mountain Springs Church in Colorado view of the many students who eat outside each Springs, CO. He is passionate about equipping kids to hear day. This simple act showed my kids that I believe in God’s voice.
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Harvest of Goodness Kathryn O'Brien
Before my first baby was born, I prepared myself for a major career change. My husband and I had decided that I would stop working outside the home for a while and become a full-time mom. I knew I had a lot to learn in my new role, as I’d heard about motherhood requiring the skills of a nurse, nutritionist, chauffeur, office manager, coach, counselor, events planner, teacher, and referee, just to name a few. What I didn’t know was that becoming a mom also meant I would be entering the farming business. Not right away, but the older my kids got, the more I felt like a farmer with a budding crop. I was responsible for these little people God had planted in my family, and it was up to me to make sure they grew well. Very well.
32 MODELING | homefrontmag.com Like a good rancher just starting out, I did my homework. I asked other farmers for advice and paid close attention to older, more experienced growers who’d been farming for years. How did they do it? How did they ensure a “good” crop? I read articles and books. I got up early and worked hard. I wasn’t afraid to get my hands dirty. I kept a close eye on the weather, stood ready to battle any harmful pests, and prayed daily for God to bless our land. After all, the growth of these trees was a direct reflection on my farming expertise, right? This little crop was my responsibility; failure was not an option. So I did all I could to be a successful farmer: my kids would be good kids. I made sure that the soil was right; my husband and I provided the best environment we could. We offered plenty of water and sunshine for them to thrive, an abundance of love, support, and encouragement. I watched my crops carefully, pruning when necessary, nipping challenging behavior in the bud. And, guess what? It worked! Sometimes, my kids were good! They were sweet and respectful and kind. They obeyed and worked hard and made good decisions. Receiving compliments about their behavior from friends, teachers, and total strangers at the market was like winning a blue ribbon at the county fair. And I wore those ribbons proudly. Wow, what a good farmer I must be to raise this kind of crop. Other times however, it didn’t work at all. As hard as I tried, goodness didn’t grow. During these times, when my kids didn’t listen, refused to obey, or made poor decisions, I resorted to solutions that any reasonable farmer might try … I yelled at the trees. I pleaded with the trees. My husband and I sat down and had serious discussions with the trees. I tried negotiating with the trees, lecturing the trees, and even bribing the trees. Our efforts had some temporary effect, but no significant, long-lasting impact on the growth of our crops. Wow, what a horrible farmer I must be to raise this kind of crop. Looking back, now that my days in the field are almost over, I know that farming is a tricky business. As moms, we can do everything right, and still have a few shaky seasons to work through with our children. On the other hand, we can make lots of mistakes, and still be granted grace and blessed with a plentiful year. I know that I tried my best to be a good farmer, but I also know that growing goodness in my kids was never really in my power. Goodness, just as with every other fruit of the Spirit, grows from the Spirit. It has little to do with my farming skills, and all to do with His power, His ways, His perfect timing. We can’t force it, create it, or hurry it up. Fellow farmers, don’t lose hope! Keep preparing and enriching that soil. Continue to provide all of the water, sunshine, and love you possibly can. Don’t stop paying close attention to each tree, and pray ceaselessly for God to bless your harvest. Fruit will come, from the One—the only One—who can lead our kids to flourish in goodness.
Kathryn O’Brien writes books for kids and has a heart for moms. She has published five children’s picture books, including her latest series, Sit for a Bit (from Tyndale), which teaches Bible verses to little ones in a fun and lasting way! Kathryn loves writing about faith and family for several publications and online blogs.
websitekathobrien.com
Instagram @sit4abit
Facebook iamkathobrien
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Through Her Little Eyes Dana Dill
At breakfast the other day, my wife captured a picture of my daughter, Daisy, and me sitting, awaiting our food. For many, the picture is sweet. Daisy is as cute as ever in her bow and stylish digs. Her smallness compared to my bigness is adorbz. Yeah, the picture is delightful. Agreed. But, for me, the picture isn’t only adorable. It’s also terrifying. How? The picture reminds me of my role in Daisy’s life. It captures the reality that my daughter is now, and will forever be, watching me. In my good moments and my bad moments, her little eyes will study me. She will watch my actions, examine my decisions, and observe my passions day after day after day. She will not only hear what I say, but she will watch how I live. Absolutely terrifying.
THE GREATEST GIFT I CAN GIVE MY DAUGHTER Thinking of this, I was instantly reminded of Tim Challies’ words about the power of parental modeling. Reflecting on his own parents and their influence in his life, he writes, Nothing can take the place of simply living as a Christian in view of my children. No amount of formal theological training, church attendance, or family devotions will make up for a general apathy about the things of the Lord. I can catechize my children all day and every day, but if I have no joy and no delight in the Lord, and if I am not living out my faith, my children will see it and know it. For all the good things my parents did for me, I believe that the most important was simply living as Christians before me. I don’t think anything shaped or challenged me more than that.1
34 MODELING | homefrontmag.com Of all the good and necessary things I must (and will) supply for my daughter, none of them compares with the gift of letting her see Christ in me. Of all the needs my daughter has (and will have), there are none greater than seeing her daddy love Jesus with all he’s got. My words can explain the preciousness of Christ, but it is my life that will prove it.
MY PRAYER With these thoughts still kicking around in my mind, I have only one recourse: prayer for the grace and help I need to be the model Daisy needs. Father, Make me a Father like you so my little girl will not only hear of you through my words, but will see you, however dimly, through my life. Keep my eyes on Jesus so, when she sees the direction of my eyes, she’ll look to Him as well. Fill me with the Holy Spirit so I may be a living testimony to the goodness, value, and glory of Jesus. All this I ask for the good of my Daisy and the glory of your Name. Amen. Parents, your kids are watching. Make sure they see you, above all else, savor the Savior.
Dana is the youth pastor at South Shores Church in Dana Point and a writer for the TruIdentity student curriculum. He is husband to his beautiful wife, Chawna, and daddy to his precious daughter, Daisy.
1 http://www.challies.com/christian-living/the-most-important-thing-my-parents-did
35 MODELING | homefrontmag.com equip tough topics CHOOSING JOY
Photo Credit: Andrea David Co.
I was fresh out of college—just five months out, to of my life. What I remember most about it was the be exact— when I received a 3 a.m. phone call that pavement, the silence of my car’s tires circling on the would forever change my life: road, and the loud thuds of my rapidly beating heart. This is the police. There’s been an accident When I arrived, the police let me know my involving your brother and grandfather. Please come grandfather had been tragically killed in the accident, right away. and social services was on their way. I learned that Trailing behind that call came a series of my grandfather and brother had been sleeping in unnerving voicemails from my birth mom. She was the car regularly to avoid my birth mom’s drunken clearly drunk, slurring her words and flexing her tone. rampages. When my brother Rex heard that social Even at twenty-two years old, after not living with her services was coming, he fearfully pleaded with me for nearly ten years, her voice still made me shudder to not let our other two younger brothers be taken and feel sick inside. As a kid, this voice was often away. That night I made a promise to keep them all followed by some kind of abuse—whether physical, together, no matter the cost. psychological, or verbal. But, I couldn’t keep this promise perfectly. I ignored her voicemails with a roll of my eyes All three of my brothers lived with me for nearly and jumped into my car to drive to the hospital. It two years, but because of Orange County Social was thirty minutes away—the longest, quietest drive Services' commitment to pursue reunification, the two
36 MODELING | homefrontmag.com equip tough topics younger boys were reunified with their birth mom. Someone asked me the famous question: But how do Fortunately, my husband and I were able to adopt you have so much joy? Rex, the oldest of the three. Then, six months ago, As usual, I was taken by surprise and I paused. after nearly two years of not seeing or hearing from For various reasons, I paused. I wanted to make sure the younger boys, social services called and informed my answer was real, and I also wanted to make sure me that they were back in the system and needed us. my answer was accessible. This wasn’t a Christian With bittersweet excitement, we picked them up, and gathering or Bible study. It was a gathering for creative are only six months away from (hopefully) being able entrepreneurs. So, I paused. And I realized and shared to adopt them. that the joy comes from being honest with myself in There is a lot more to this story. There were long my emotions. To recognize that the pain and stress evenings of night terrors and experiences that made of the situation are real and exist, and cannot be me grow up extremely fast. I became a full-time dismissed, and that being honest with myself and with mom overnight. Then, after the two younger boys others brings that sense of joy. were reunified, my husband and I welcomed our first The good ol’ church girl in me knows the right biological child into the world—our daughter, Scout. answer: Jesus! And yes, obviously, Jesus is my answer. We were pregnant with our second child when we He gives me the joy I need to get through the day. But received the call that our sons, our boys, were back at Jesus also provides the gift of joy that comes with the the Orangewood Children and Family Center. sorrow. I want to genuinely believe and express, not It’s hard for me to get through a conversation so much with my words, but model with my demeanor without someone finding out that my husband and I and care for others, that there is a Solid Rock I stand have five kids. This brings up a lot of questions for a on in these stormy times, and to use my experience as lot of reasons—one of them being that the math just a testimony of belief that nothing is wasted when it’s doesn’t make sense. My husband and I have been in Christ’s care. It isn’t a Sunday school type of jump- married just two years! When people catch wind jump-jump joy. Sometimes, oftentimes, it’s a quietness of our story, I often get the question, “How do you I carry or a listening ear I can offer. I use whatever have so much joy when you’ve experienced so much feeble strength I have, on any given day, to show this pain?” This question makes me hesitate because I mysterious thing to others: this joy of the Lord. Yes, He don’t realize that I’m showing joy—I don’t try to act is my source of joy, but it is a mystery and marriage happy or extra peppy. I would actually rather be with pain that creates the beauty of understanding our known for authenticity than joy. weakness is met with Christ’s strength. Being alright When I’m at events for work or meeting people for with remaining unresolved and being okay with being the first time, they don’t usually know that I have four “messy”… that is the joy. And even though I hesitate, to five missed calls from lawyers, social workers, you and might be nervous to share, I have never missed an name it, demanding my time and energy right away opportunity to express the reality of the joy that is the … because, apparently, raising five kids, working, and genuine, authentic reality of this whole situation I like being a pastor’s wife isn’t enough to keep me busy. to call life. At a recent work event, I was leading a community discussion on valor (see picture). by Sally Kim The definition of valor is bravery, especially in the Sally Kim is the Communications Director of the Yellow Co., a light of battle. The women there had no idea their movement that exists to empower creative women to use their facilitator had just come through a gigantic meltdown, skills to impact the world for good. Her heart is to empower and caused by an inexperienced social worker’s careless show grace to women of all kinds through her career and her comments to one of our sons. After the storm passed, ministry as a worship pastors’ wife. She believes in the mantra, “beautiful girl, you can do hard things,” and loves the testimony I had to rush to make myself look presentable, hardship brings. Sally and her husband have five kids and their somehow set aside my own feelings of extreme house is messy. Come over for some coffee and enjoy the ride. anger that come only with being a mommy ("you hurt my child—I hurt you," kind of emotion. You feel Blog lettersfromamister.tumblr.com me, moms?) and rush out to this event to facilitate Blog yellowconference.com/blog this conversation, and welcome and invite women to share their own experiences in business and Instagram @misssallyrae life. Somehow, a piece of my story was brought up.
37 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support marriage THE GREAT FAITHFULNESS OF GOD
38 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support marriage
A few years ago my husband and I celebrated one of our milestone wedding anniversaries. Usually we would go out to dinner and exchange gifts or cards. However, this time we decided to introduce the concept of remember and celebrate into our evening. The idea was that we would pause to remember God’s faithfulness before entering into celebration. At dinner, I took out a napkin and wrote down the years that we had been married and next to each we wrote some notation of how God had showed His faithfulness to us in that year of our lives together. After we completed the list of remembrance, the only response was celebration and worship! It was the most meaningful anniversary we have ever experienced simply because we took the time to stop, to pause … and remember the faithfulness of our heavenly Father. God ordained this rhythm in Scripture time and time again in the Old Testament because active remembrance cultivates relationship. God wants us to look back and recognize His faithfulness, His intense love, and our personal interactions with Him. We live in a culture that demands a certain hurriedness that compels us to constantly move forward and look ahead. In contrast, God asks for a posture of looking back while we move forward. He wants us to remember His faithfulness because this truth about His character will allow us to move forward with peace and confidence. Michael and I have been married for almost three decades now. We have raised children, made several moves, and transitioned through a variety of jobs and ministries. We both have a few more wrinkles and a few more pounds than the day we said, “I do.” Careless words have been exchanged, stupid decisions have been made, and disappointments have crept into our minds and hearts at times. These are the realities of being human, living life with another person in close proximity, on a daily basis. However, because of God’s faithfulness to us, we can forgive, love, and persevere in the midst of these trials. We are faithful because He is faithful. If I forget to acknowledge God’s faithfulness to me, I am tempted to fixate on an irritating moment or failure in my husband. Yet, when I remember God’s great faithfulness to me, I am compelled to offer my husband the new mercies God grants to me each day. Take a moment to consider the words from one of the greatest hymns of all time, written by Thomas Chisholm in the 19th century, in regards to your marriage. As you read each stanza, personalize it for your marriage and ponder how these things have been (and can be) true in your relationship with your spouse:
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Sun, moon and stars in their courses above Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; Join with all nature in manifold witness As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be. To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided, All I have needed Thy hand hath provided, Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! by Michelle Anthony Michelle is the Executive Pastor of Parenting, Junior High, and Children at New Life Church and the Family Ministries Ambassador at David C Cook. Michelle has graduate degrees in Christian education, theology, and leadership, and more than twenty-five years of church ministry experience as a children’s and family pastor. She lives in Colorado Springs and loves a good book and a cup of coffee.
39 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 40 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support spiritual grandparenting FILLED WITH JOY
"CHILDREN FIND IN THE EYES OF THEIR PARENTS [OR GRANDPARENTS] THE MIRROR IN WHICH THEY DEFINE THEMSELVES. FILL THEM WITH NOTHING AND THEY BECOME NOTHING."
— WILLIAM GLASSER, PSYCHIATRIST
We are all born with an innate desire to be filled with HOW TO PLAY JOY CHASE something. As young children, we begin by looking to 1. Purchase a package of dot stickers in assorted our parents and grandparents to fill us. We want answers colors (found at office supply stores). and direction, love, acceptance, and purpose. As parents and grandparents, our role is to guide the young ones 2. Write the word “joy” on each dot on several God has placed in our care to the only One who can fill sheets of the stickers. their emptiness. 3. Assign a color to each player and hand out Romans 15:13 encourages us with these words: “May the the stickers—one player will have all the blue God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in stickers, another all the red stickers, and so on. him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of 4. Explain that the goal of the game is to stick as the Holy Spirit.” many joy stickers as possible on other players, As we trust in God, He can fill our innate void with while avoiding getting stickers on you. joy and peace—which in turn gives us hope. This is an 5. Set a timer for one minute. When the timer important message for our grandchildren. The world goes off, stop and see who was able to spread surrounds them with hopelessness. Without the power of the most joy by counting up the stickers of the Holy Spirit, that hopelessness can begin to define them. each color. Grandparents, sometime this month, play this simple Remind your grandchildren that God wants to fill game of chase to remind your grandchildren that God us with His joy and peace. He wants us to live a life alone can fill them with joy and peace! defined by His purpose and hope! by Debbie Guinn
41 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support special feature WHAT I WISH YOU WOULD DO
As we enter the you try to hide these playground area, your obvious conversations, child immediately it feels like you’re hiding points to mine, calling from our family. It feels loudly, “Mom, look at like the insignificant gap HER!” You quickly hush between us that your him, calling him to you child has noticed has for a quiet reprimand. now grown into a wide You’re in the grocery canyon no one wants store when your child to cross. catches a glimpse of We’re both parents, the baby in my cart and both trying to do our asks, “Why is that baby best, and we both love so red?” You practically our kids fiercely and put your hand over his want to raise them to mouth to stop as much be kind individuals. So of the question as you here’s what I wish you can, while hurrying might do instead: around the corner I wish you without looking back. would leave these Your children freeze, conversations about us staring open-mouthed open to us so that we at my daughter at the might engage or even library, and you get a explain my daughter’s rising panic in your condition if we eyes as you try to choose to. distract them to look I wish you would anywhere else. close that small gap I recognize all of by relating to us as this unfolding, nearly you would to any every day. I hear the other family on the questions. I glimpse the playground, instead pointing fingers out of of making the gap the corner of my eye. bigger by treating us as I notice the whispered unapproachable. comments. When your child points and tells you to look, I I hear you, and I see you, and I feel it all, deep wish you would respond clearly, “Yes, look at that within my heart, as we receive a reaction to my pretty little girl. It looks like she’s having so much fun daughter everywhere we go; Brenna’s severe genetic playing, just like you are!” skin disorder makes her skin a deep-red color and When your child asks you, “Why is that baby so causes it to constantly peel. To protect her skin, she red?” or, “Why does she look like that?” I wish you is covered with a thick, shiny lotion. Yet, I find it would answer honestly: “I’m not sure, but we all look makes the situation worse when you try to “hide” different from each other, don’t we? God made all of the questions and comments from me. us so different and so wonderful.” You’re embarrassed when your child points out my I wish you would encourage your child to say, daughter’s unique appearance, and I understand that. "Hi," and to ask my kids’ names and be friends. But on the other side, we feel embarrassed too; when
42 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support special feature
I wish you would apologize without feeling As parents, we are constantly modeling for ashamed if your child is offensive right in front our children—by our actions and our words. And of us: “I’m so sorry, we’re still learning how to ask with that quick point and question from our kids questions respectfully.” It also goes a long way if about another’s appearance, we as parents are you continue to reach out, perhaps asking how old given a choice: to either teach how to avoid and my daughter is or introducing yourself. be embarrassed around people with disabilities, And more or to help our than anything, I children learn wish you would that everyone was proactively awesomely and discuss uniquely created differences more by God, in all often. I wish you shapes, sizes, and would read to colors. With each your child about experience, we can differences, choose to model disabilities, and kindness, respect, what it means love, and goodness to be yourself. I as we learn how wish you would to connect and positively and appreciate the naturally converse uniqueness of about everything God’s image within from wheelchairs each other. to birthmarks, from So next time, Down syndrome I hope you don’t to skin disorders, run and hide. I from racial hope you keep the differences to conversation with wearing glasses. your children open As much as you so they can begin might want the to learn about ground to swallow others in a positive you up when your and respectful way. child looks at mine, Instead of a steep points, and exclaims, “Look how red she is!” there divide that places our family on the other side with a is nothing to be scared of ... and when you act “do not look at and do not talk to” sign, let’s both take afraid to be around us, it teaches your children this opportunity and use it as a positive example for that Brenna is scary because she’s different. our children to learn how to respect and appreciate physical differences. Ultimately we want to teach our children that we are all different, not that my daughter Brenna is the “different one” simply because by Courtney Westlake her appearance is noticeably unusual. What an Courtney is the author of A Different Beautiful, available on extraordinary world it might be if we could show Amazon and bookstores everywhere. She is married to Evan and our children how to recognize that others are mother to Connor (7) and Brenna (4). Courtney is a writer and truly people first, despite any differences. And photographer, and blogs about family life after Brenna was born perhaps, your kids might learn that if they have with a severe skin disorder. questions about someone’s appearance, they Blog CourtneyWestlake.com can ask you later, privately, so they don’t hurt anyone’s feelings—because, after all, how we treat Facebook Blessed By Brenna - Courtney Westlake each other is much more important than how Instagram @cwestlake someone looks.
43 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support book spotlight SPEAK LIFE
44 MODELING | homefrontmag.com support book spotlight
My sixteen-year-old son, Abram, has been He looked at me as if I’d lost my mind wrestling with some weighty relational issues and decided to trot out my best street-magic lately, and several nights ago I noticed he was impersonation right there, right then with him. quieter than his typically chatty self. I asked what But he couldn’t resist the challenge. “Yes,” he said was up, but he wouldn’t crack. plainly. “I will.” “I’m okay” was all he said, even though I knew I sat down across from my son and proceeded that wasn’t the truth. to lay out three big situations that were driving him So I left the room for a few minutes to have a nuts, relational knots I knew he had no clue how quick chat with God. I know something’s wrong, I to untie. I threw them out there boldly, numbering told God. them on my fingers as I went, and once I’d said my piece, Abram looked at me with wide eyes and In my spirit I sensed a divine yes. said, “Dad—for real—how do you know all that? You What is it? I asked. What’s going on in my were gone, like, three minutes just now.” son’s heart? What I told my son is what I want you to hear In the space of a few seconds, God revealed to too: Prophetic communication is not some party me the crux of Abram’s problems: they had to do trick. It’s simply following the progression Christ with a few relationships that had gotten sideways. laid out for us, which involves talking to God before Then God assured me that he would equip me to we choose to open our mouths to communicate help Abram come out of his funk. with others. It’s hard to describe what that felt like, and what When we operate with others as Christ did, we a relief it was that I wasn’t all alone in this situation first hear from heaven. Then we work to keep our with my son. When you’re the parent of teenagers, self-talk grounded. After that we stand firm against it’s tempting to want to check out from time to time, the schemes of the Enemy. And then—voilà!—we to take their words (or grunts, as the case may be) miraculously speak words of life. That’s all I did at face value, to put too much weight in the fact with Abram that night, and that’s all I’m asking that you’ve raised them right and can just release of you. them to the world. Things often work themselves In the pages that follow, I want to explain why out, after all. we get ourselves into conversational trouble, as The Enemy is forever whispering to parents of well as the most time-tested ways to get out of teens, Let it go. It’s just a phase. This will pass fast it. I want to explore Jesus’s perfect example in enough, when in actuality, our teens need just as hopes of adapting his practices for our (admittedly much attention and guidance—if not more—as they imperfect) lives. How often did he commune with did when they were curious little toddlers prone the Father? Why didn’t he fall into sin when he was to sticking their fingers into electrical sockets. tempted? How did he stay on mission every day? Checking in with God that night reaffirmed my Why did his words carry such tremendous weight? commitment to my son. Regardless of Satan’s taunts I want to provide a little encouragement that no to just leave Abram alone, I decided to wade into matter how reckless you’ve been with your words what could be a difficult conversation in the hope over the course of your days—and no matter how of helping my son sharpen his relational skills. much damage those words have done—you (even As I headed back into the room where Abram you!) can become someone who is known for was hanging out, I felt a deep sense of inner speaking wise and healing words. Starting today confidence and peace in knowing my mission as you can steward every syllable. Starting now you my kids’ dad. I knew what God had revealed to me, can use every word for good. and I knew that I was the only person in Abram’s life who had the relational, emotional, and spiritual Excerpt from Speak Life: Restoring Healthy Communication currency with him to do what I was about to do. in How You Think, Talk, and Pray by Brady Boyd (Colorado “Abram,” I said as I approached him, “if I can Springs: David C Cook, 2016). To read more, be sure to pick tell you exactly what’s bugging you, will you agree up a copy! to talk about it with me?”
45 MODELING | homefrontmag.com 10 2 ENVIRONMENTS “God transforms me
The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides when I step out in faith.” with the monthly distribution of this resource. Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are Responsibility challenged to step out of their This environment captures the ability to comfort zone from an early age, they take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and learn to experience a dependence resources before God. A child must be on the Holy Spirit to equip and challenged to take responsibility for his strengthen them beyond their “God has1 entrusted or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as natural abilities and desires. We well as for those who are spiritually lost. me with the things and believe this environment will Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use cultivate a generation that, instead people He created this environment to allow each child to of seeking comfort, seeks a radical around me.” understand that God has entrusted His life of faith in Christ. world to us.
Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s 4 grace. Innate to this environment is the value that children are respected because they 3 “God fills me with embody the image of God. We must speak to His love so I can “Asks the question, them, not at them, and we must commit to an give it away.” environment where love and acceptance are ‘What needs to be done?’” never withheld due to one’s behavior. Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to Storytelling be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to The power of The Big God Story impacts our others and focuses on a cause lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring bigger than one individual life. It perspective into how God has been moving helps fulfill the mandate that as throughout history. It is the story of redemption, Christ-followers we are to view 5 salvation, and hope and tells how I have been our lives as living sacrifices that “God has a big story, grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to we generously give away! and I can be a part see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told of it!” for God’s glory.
46 MODELING | homefrontmag.com Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did 7 nothing to earn. This conviction allows children “God6 knows me, and “I belong to God, to stand firm against the destructive I can know Him.” and He loves me!” counter-identities the world will offer. Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that Faith Community denies absolute truth, and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we God designed us to live in community and create an environment that upholds to experience Him in ways that can only and displays God’s truth, we give happen in proximity to one another. The faith children a foundation based on community serves to create an environment to knowing God, knowing His Word, equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s “God’s8 family cares faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and for each other through tradition and rituals, which offer awesome, and yet He has chosen to and worships God children an identity. Our love for each other make Himself known to us! together.” reflects the love we have received from God.
IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES Course Correction WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 CHILDREN TO LIVE IN and is the direct opposite of punishment. SO THEIR FAITH WILL Instead, biblical discipline for a child GROW IN A COMMUNITY 9 encompasses a season of pain, the building OF CONSISTENCY, “When I get off up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN track, God offers me the individual with the purpose of healing at its core. MORE ABOUT HOW THESE a path of healing.” ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:
Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a 10 hands-on example of what it means for children “I see Christ in to put their faith into action. Modeling puts SPIRITUAL PARENTING: others, and they can flesh on faith and reminds us that others are An Awakening for Today’s Families watching to see if we live what we believe. see Him in me.” BY MICHELLE ANTHONY © 2010 DAVID C COOK
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked “ESV” are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture marked NIrV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Reader’s Version®. NIrV®. Copyright © 1995,47 1996, 1998 MODELING | homefrontmag.com by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. SPEAK WORDS of LIFE
As Proverbs says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18 niv).
If we will be held accountable for every word we speak, as the Bible says we will be, then why not learn to speak words that are thoughtful, controlled, attentive, appropriate, responsible, life-giving, and kind? Speak Life will lead your way.
BRADY BOYD is the senior pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He is married to his col- lege sweetheart, Pam, and they have two great kids, Abram and Callie. Brady has written numerous books, including Addicted to Busy and Let Her Lead. He’s also passionate about caring for the people of Colorado Springs and has been instrumental in the opening of numerous Dream Centers in the city.
Available in print and digital editions everywhere books are sold
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