Voi.106No.47 University of Delaware, Newark. DE I- Friday, April 2, 2082 DUGS kicks bucket; Dodge-it unemployed By OLIVE PAUL enlisting the support of Because of apathy and university president E.A. financial problems, _the Trombone. Delaware Uneducated Cen­ "DUCS is an extremely sorship Society (DUCS), suf­ viable student group," said fered an untimely death. Trombone through mediator "i really don't know what Arty Yesman. "Right now I happened," said DUCS Presi­ have their existence under dent Deuce Dodge-it. "I serious consideration. That's mean, I thought we were all I can say at this time." representative of the student body. After all, look at all the While Trombone and times I've spoken Jor 13,500 Dodge-it put their respective students." head together and considered According to an uniden­ the issue, DUCS slipped into a tified DUCS member, though, coma and eventually passed the organization was rife with away. dissension and fraught with "Oh, my God," Dodge-it financial woes. croaked, when asked for com­ "Look, man," said the stu­ ment. "DUCS was my dent, who would not give his lifeblood. My source of in­ This picture was taken come, whoops, I mean DUCS supported my image. We I,INIVERSITY PRESIDENT E.Z. TROMBONEmakes a surprise appearance with The Buttons at the dues were good for each other. And Elk Park Tuesday night. Trombone, who was enjoying alc;oholic beverages with some friends, name, but was identifiable good for the school. Look at jumped onto the stage at one point and b~ted out his version of "Demolition Man" and "Whip lt." because of facial hair, "we me. Incoherent. Speaking in Trombone said he would rather be a punk rocker than a president but that the opportunity had can't feed the people on pro­ fragments. What's next? No never arisen for him. mises. And that's all Deuce more promises. No inter­ gave us. Promises." views. No press:" The student said the DUCS What next for the tem­ Lane to become den of iniquity splinter group, CUD (Call Us porarily inarticulate Dodge­ Degenerates) had originally it? By Roxanne Somolestme ..- juana in Room 401 to hallucinogenics in Room sought a violent overthrow. "I guess the Regenerate I 460. CUD petitioned the Soviets Soup Assembly (RSA), if and Olive Pau «This will make it a lot easier for students to for weapons via a radical they'll have me," Dodge-it Campus Homesteads has passed. another get drugs, Maid said. "They waste too much university group, the sobbed. "But they're too inac­ cutback in housing which, besides eliminating time finding pushers. This is also an educa­ Regressive Student Coagula­ tive." Paper Mill apartments, will propose to con- tiona! opportunity for students to be selective tion, ·but the Russians had "Maybe I'll just take my vert Lane Hall from a dorm into a campus in their drug taking. It may also help their already sent their arms gavel and go home," he add­ "vice center". grades." southward. ed manfully. "There's no Campus Homesteads will have to budget for A bloodless coup was then place like home. There's no The four floors will be divided into various this educational investment, Maid said. The attempted, but Dodge-it stav­ place like home. There's no dens of iniquity • according to Devious Maid, draperies, mirrors and water beds for the first ed off the challenge by place like home." coordinator of Campus Homesteads. floor will amount to about $5,200. "If we add The first floor will be converted into a house peep shows we'll have to spend a lot more," he of ill repute, he said. The interior will include added, smiling. Administration lobby effort mirrored walls, thick red drapery and water Maid said the second floor shouldn't be too beds. - expensive to reconstruct because "the bookies The second floor rooms will be converted in- should be able to get us a good deal." brings missiles to university - to offices for bookies. Other rooms will feature Trombone and Maid have also discussed By lma Dizlcid Memorial · Hall missile silo "one-arm bandits" and crap tables. Housing changing the mall into a race track on Fridays As efforts to attract more has now been completed with hopes to install routlette wheels in the future, to help not only bookies, but students in pr~ federal dollars to the univer­ the installation- of the Maid explained. bability and statistics classes to learn from sity intensify, President E.A. breakaway cap on top." Walls on the -tbird floor will be knocked experience. Trombone feels this feature will Trombone has announced the Government scientists were down for the construction of a mile-long bar. ·increase students involvement on campus and construction of nuclear originally wary of the "We're doing this as a service project to class attendance. missile silos on campus. Memorial Hall site because of clean up the downtown area, said President If alcohol costs are to high for the third floor "Since the defense budget the hourly eruptions of noise E.Z. Trombone. "But this will still give the bar, a cover charge will have to be enacted, has been increased," Trom­ pollution . . University scien­ kids something to do besides homework." Maid said. "However, happy hours, to be held bone said, "we have aimed t i s t s w e r e .Jl -b 1 e t o Fourth floor will be a farmers market with every afternoon, may eliminate a co_ver our lobbying efforts at the demonstrate to their satisfac­ vendors displaying drugs, ranging from mari- charge." Pentagon instead of the tion, however, that the sound Department of Health, waves were only harmful to maintenance, "Construction devastating effects.'' loss of housing for 600 Education and Welfare." students, much like the at the other sites will begin as A State Department students would almost surely Presidential Advisor B. neutron bomb.. soon as we get a maintenance spokesman shuddered at the affect our ability to provide N oser said "The Pentagon Other proposed sites for referral." He added that the suggestion. "Launching 600 housing next year." Chauf­ has been most supportive of missile silos on campll-s in- final construction costs university students at Russia feur suggested that Kent Din­ our efforts. For every $1 of elude Mitchell Hall (a missile should not exceed twice the could have very' serious ing Hall would be a better federal aid we asked for, we will be more entertaining a m 0 u n t 0 f _t h e in i t i a 1 repercussions. Who knows missile because "a Friday got $4. They're getting so than anything else they have estimates. what they might send back?" buffet could wipe out the en­ much from Congress they in there) and the McKinly . T.P. Calnerd, an engineer­ David Chauffeur, director tire Russian army." don't know what to do with courtyard (one more hunk of '-- ing student suggested that of housing and resident strife, Trombone said ''All sugges­ it." m e t a 1 s h o u 1 d n ' t b e "With the completion of the condemned the suggestion as tions are being sent to the Director of Development noticeable). break-away stairs on Chris- a plot by Powder Mill Apart­ Pentagon. If they think it's F r e d B u s y b o d.y s a i d According to William D. tiana East, the tower could be ments to continue leasing good for the country, then ''Construction of the Stroyer, superintendent of launched at Moscow with space to the university. "The we'll do it!" Page 2 • THE REVIEW • April2, 1982 ART

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AT ~ TRENTON STATE COLLEGE!. / April2, 1982 • THE REVIEW • Page 3 Brooms suffer bristle damage; tough Mall asphalt blamed Help By Mal Cont·ent ''They,'' he said, ''fell out.'' Jemerged, the most prominent One of the three swivel­ According to Tisk, a of which is the Newark shank outdoor brooms used ballistics expert has been Alliai:Ice of Bristle Inspectors by university groundskeepers called in to join a research Searching Colleges Overtly _ recently suffered extensive team to determine if the (NABISCO). damage to the . broom bristle damage, according to "The goals of our organiza­ Jack Tisk, post-preliminary necessitates the purchase of as much tion," said NABISCO Grand supervisor and western new bristles. The team will begin research in three Poobah John Smith (Not his marketing manager of the real name), "include riff-raff Student Coalition for Univer­ weeks, and a decision is ex­ pected by the end of May. slaphappy redundant bag sity Maintenance Brooms with deadly luggage com­ And Gear (SCUMBAG). When asked for comment, mand before avast yon you Tisk said the ordeal oc­ as can. I.C. Trails, a New Jersey Arisilon between hinder curred last Wednesday after­ shipping clerk whose twice­ retreat begonia pours puking noon while the broom was be­ removed cousin once knew a in slow color." ing used on a particularly man who had overalls just grueling stretch of asphalt like one of the carpenters who The maimed broom, a near Memorial Hall. helped build the hardware double-duty swivel-shank "About 75 straws were store where the swivels with deluxe pine pole damaged in the incident," he shanks were originally pur­ 'Taskmaster" model, re­ Bill Cosby says: said. "We're not sure, but chased, said, "I don't know mains in guarded condition at there's also a possibility that what you're talking about, the Newark Emergency "Don't wait for the other bristles were complete­ man." Room, where nurses report ly lost." that it still feels very weak, other guy to do all , L. Ron Hoover ( AS83) Students concern over the and has only nibbled its bub­ claims to have witnessed the bristle damage has been ble gum-cigarette butt broth. tragedy, and says he saw five mounting, and several grass­ The other two brooms could ~e help~ng- , bristles fall out of the broom. roots organizations have not be reached for comment. gtve us a hand. Trombone signs law, it happened Thursday, it is a bad law

By Jackie Daniels Im A. Bore, chairman of the committee, is very pleased with his bill's speedy progress. President Trombone signed into law Thurs­ "It's high time the coquetry and vulgar ex­ day a bill limiting the amount of time students hibitionism that goes on in that den of iniquity can spend in Russell Dining Hall during din~ was stopped," he fumed. "It's not only ner. disgusting but inefficient. Students have to The law, unprecedented on college cam­ wait in long lines while all the flirts and jocks puses across the country, drew violent of the day are in there ogling each other.'' response from the students. American Joe Jock, a football player who lives on east The biil requires that each student's meal Red Cross campus and dines with his athletic friends ticket be punched on his way out of the dining after practice, expressed his disapproval. "I hall as well as when he enters. Owing to new like long dinners at Russell (burp). I like go­ technology, the punching machine will sound ing there in a T shirt in the middle of winter to an alarm on the student's way out if he has parade in front of the girls. It's good for my been there over an hour. ego after I get my fourth F in a week.'' Bore's latest project is an ambitious at­ Laura Lashes, a fashion merchandising ma­ -jor, also enjoys leisurely dining at Russell. "I tempt to improve the quality of conversation don't know what I'd do after General Hospital in the dining halls, especially Russell. "When Together, if I didn't have dinner to get ready for. Eating students gather together to eat it is a perfect opportunity for the exchange of intellectual at Russell wouldn't be worth preparing for if I couldn't stay there long enough to make sure ideas," said Bore. "It is abominable that the every guy in the room saw me." students waste their time talking about such trivialities as how many times they vomited A committee was formed ten years ago to at Saturday night's party or who they sat next we can change things. investigate the length of time students spe~d to in psychology today when they could in the hall after I.Q. Zero (P.E. 49) was found discuss Plato's philosophy or Reagan's aging in a corner. foreign policy," he added. A Public Service of This Newspaper & The Advertising Council ~

Fri. - 7:20, 9::1) Sat - 1.6. 8:10, 10:20 Sun. - 2:ll, 4:45. 7, 9:15 M·Thr. - 7:20, 9::1)

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·-- ~· ..... Page 4 • THE REVIEW • April2, 1982

Lonely? Rejected? Unfulfilled? Fraternity's-charter pulled, members evicted: Unsure of the Future? In Search of the Truth? lack of drinking, sex, cited by. administration By Jane Doe "They don't drink, they don't tendance throughout the Cwne on Campus Award. JESUS CARES! smoke, they don't do drugs, week and provided oreos and According to Lt. Carmine Phi Alpha Gamma's and worst of all, they don'f... Kool-Aide for each lecture. Cop of university police, a (PHAG) charter was revoked you know ... " A nwnber of attempts have nwnber of calls are received He came to bring good news Wednesday night and PHAG had been warned a been made by the rest of the weekly complaining of the to the afflicted- To bind up residents forced out on the number of times to revise Greek community to help out unbearable lack of loud street early Thursday morn­ the broken hearted - To their behavior, according to the dying organization. Other music, rowdy parties and ing as a result of uncalled for E.E. Tromp-One. In an effort fraternities and sororities on assorted trash on the lawn. proclaim release to the cap· perfection. to save the fraternity, a week campus have done their part One citizen remarked, "It's tives and freedom to the The deciding incident oc­ of workshops was arranged in presenting a model for boring living next to a prisoners. -Isaiah curred Tuesday afternoon by the administration featur­ PHAG to follow. For exam­ PHAG.'' Demonstrations when it was discovered that ing four lectures entitled: ple, Weekly Burp-Offs are were staged last semester by THE REMNANT the fraternity had broken "Drinking, Drinking, and sponsored by Mu Upsilon U a nwnber of community their own record for consis­ Sunday Night - 6:30 pm more Drinking," "Hazing (MUD) fraternity. members outside the tidy tant refraining. "It's sicken­ Hints," "Puke and Pass PHAG home. Parents and Newark New Century Club remarked Lisa Love­ "li;s a disgrace to the mi." Out," and "1982 Rape Greek System," said Andy children alike carried signs of E. Del. Ave. & Haines St. all, President of Sigma Ep­ Requirements." As ex­ protest shouting "PHAGs are silon Xi (SEX) Sorority. Okee-Doky. "It reflects back pected, PHAG had perfect at- on other fraternities who try no fun" and "Free us from so hard each year to ruin PHAGs" their reputations. I hate to Speaking in PHAG 's say it, but I'm glad to see defense, President of the them go." fraternity Gordon Good "It just ain't fair. Now remarked, "Whatever this everybody'll think we're like swell admi.Q!stration decides them," said Eldon P. Fudd, is just swell with us cause Delta Upsilon Delta's reci­ they're a swell bunch of pient for the annual Lowest guys!' Dinjng hall food better, no one knows reason By lma Dizkid that we will find a source as The, university dining ser- reliably bad as the army vice has announced that Make A. Mess, cooking thro'ugh no fault of its own, supervisor for the dining ser­ the quality of the foOd served vice said, "Students take us in the dining halls will im- for granted, they don't know prove. how hard we work. Even with According to Food Service the consistently poor quality Friday I Saturday I Sunday Director Bartholomew- of food we have to work with, Scrunge, "Our regular source--it'-s still not easy to make such Hottest Sale Around of supplies can no longer pro- lousy meals." Mess added Special Sale on Selected vide us with the same \low that three cooks have been level of quality." He explain- fired in the past year for try­ ed that the food the university ing to provide edible food. Deer Park purchases is army surplus re- "Students might start to ex­ ject, and is obtained through pect it, and then where would the same sources that provide we be?'' T-Shirts surplus jeeps and artillery at Sick N. Tired, AS 82, said, ridiculously low prices. "I knew it had to happen $3.00 apiec . sooner or later. No one can Lt. G1ve M. Shaft of the Ar- provide food this bad for this 2 for $5.00 m;r ~uartermaster ~orp. much time. I've been eating 3 for $6.00 said, In order ~o qualify as the same slop for almost four ar_my. surpl~ reJect, the sup- years now." 12-5 p.m. plies m question ~ust remam Ima Fatty, veteran of m stock at ~east ~1gh~ months Weight Watchers and Elaine *t************** .. beyond ~e1r exprr~t10n date. Powers, said "I could be in A recent mcrea~e m. demand big trouble. The food here has : Coming Mid-April ! from the SalvatiOn Armr ~nd been better for my diet than ~ .. the Sunday Breakfast M1ss1on any program I've been on. If Monday has depleted our. stock, and the stuff gets edible, I don't * The Deer Park and * we now have nothing on hand know what I'll do. •• You've Been Framed mo~e ~an ~ree months past Mess said, "We have 8 ! t Commotions exprratiOn. great staff here with a lot of are offering a special Tuesday Scrunge said, "We are look- experience behind them. If ! ! ing for another source of sup- anyone can still provide bad ! limited edition ! Rockaway Band plies, but it's highly unlikely food, they can." * poster-a gn~at ! Wednesday Thisyear, · ! graduation gift. * S. C•t B d heart diseqse t . * r************** * In 1 y an and stroke Amencan will kill another O Heart 200,000 RAVEN HOTLINE 731-1011 Americans Association WE 'RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE For a daily update on all movies, bands, and food specials. before age 65. . April2, 1982 • THE REVIEW • Page 5 - / Nothing,.s.Happening

LEcTuRE- "Kissing: The French Guest lecturer Dr. Eat M. Up. Spon­ Know and More." Midnight, tonight. Friday Connection," by Dr. R.U. Ready. 9 sored by the Student Health Center. Office of the Provost, Hullihen Hall. LECI'URE - "How girls can make · p.m. 3rd floor lounge, Nw Castle Hall . . PARTY- MEN! Come to New Cas­ Protection and How To Books up for lbst financial aid." Hosted by Free Admission. Free Demonstra­ tle Hall at 8 p.m. and get drunk! Kegs, available. experienced experts from 42nd St. tions. All mim welcome. girls, and music. Bring a tap. Cost of WALL HANGING - "Learn to NY, All girls welcome. New Castle ENTERTAINMENT - Tired of the kegs will be taken out in trade. Decorate Your Room With Preppies.'' Dorm. 10 p.m. - ? quiet hours? Do something about it! Sponsored by the Office of Co~tinuing 7 p.m., 210 Smith. Sponsored by Anti­ SEMINAR - The psychology dept. Come to Harrington Beach at mid­ Education. Preps of · America. Bring a Prep, will be sponsoring an orgy to find the night and hang your R.A. preferrably unconscious. effects of mid-term studying on sex. Refreshments provided. SLEEP IN - · "Boring Breakers RUSH - U Sniffa Glue Fraternity, Sunday Wolf Hall. 3:00p.m.-? UNHAPPY HOUR - BROM Bring Unite.'; April 2-10, Pencader Com­ WORKSHOP - The physics dept. College Ave. 8:30 p.m. Strobe lights, mons. People doing nothing are en­ loud music provided. BYOB. results of midterms. 3 p.m. - 6 p.m. 201 will show any interested people the Birkbride. Sponsored by probationers. couraged to join us. Don't forget your most efficient way to construct bongs. EXHIBmON - "The Roommate sleeping bags. Game: Part 2." Live, on the mall. 6 EXHIBmON - Previews of "The Sharp Lab. 9 p.m. -11 p.m. Button" 7:30 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. BACCHUS - Forum on Greek p.m. Human sacrifices. Come and en­ joy the fun. Cinema 273. Must be 21 yrs. or older. culture. Sponsored by the Venus Art FILM- "Absence of Callous.'' 7:30 Theatre Assoc. of Del. Midnight- ? EXCURSION- Bus trip to Bear, Del. Cost is $9.50, includes lunch at the p.m. and 9:15 p.m. at Hand Hall. WORKSHOP - "Extra fun with Learn how to remove those nasty Animals." Sponsored by the Ag. Dept. Grizzly Tavern. Leaves Student Center at noon, returns 3 p.m. Spon­ warts. Dusk-Dawn.. , MEETING- First meeting of Fail­ EXCURSION - Exploring El sored by the Department of Animal Science. ing Club. 8 p.m. 607 Memorial Hall. N '> Salvador. Sponsored by the Outing experience necessary- all welcome. Club. For more info. 643-1889. SEMINAR- "The Art of Cow Tipp­ ing-," am:. "Bull Dodging." 11 p.m. FILM- "Sharkeys Machine: Part Will J>e held on the field in front of the 2.'' See how Burt and Stuart use their Saturday Ag house. Sponsored by the Depart­ machines in student affairs. FILM - "Harrington Henchmen." ment of Agriculture. The biggest joke of all times. 7:30 p.m. WORKSHOP - "How te Survive in Harrington D/E Lounge. Bring Your the Dining Halls: A Basic Survival ...OR Own SQuirrel. Kit.)' 7:45 p.m. at the Infirmary. ORGY- "All You Ever Wanted To Campus Jockstraps employee of the National Food and In an interview yesterday Raygun Dorin eligible for disaster aid Dining hall managers to eat food Health Association, and well known said "spring break is an ideal time to Citing increasing damages and "Dining Hall Turn-About Day," a authority on lima beans. explain my policies to students spiraling repair costs, President day when dining hall managers must because there is sure to be a crowd Ronald Raygun declared Sharp Hall a eat the food they normally prepare for Career Center is extinguished big enough to fill the front row." federal disaster area, making the students, is scheduled for Monday, For security reasons, Raygun has dorm eligible for low interest federal April5. The Career Planning and Place­ refused to reveal the exact time and loans. The managers of Pencader, . ment Center will close due to the fact date of his visit. However, he did say Russell, Kent, and Rodney dining that there really aren't any jobs after that Nancy would come along to stand Approximately half the dorm has graduation. been rebuilt so far this year, and the halls, and special guest President by his side and smile at the empty E.A. Trombone, will eat breakfast, The employees of the center will be chairs. remainder is due to be demolished put on unemployment until they can and rebuilt by the end of June. If lunch, and dinner together at Rodney dining hall. be placed by Olsen Temporary Ser­ This will be Raygun's first official residents continue their present rate vices. visit to Delaware and a welcoming of destruction, the repairmen will not All of the participating managers, as well as Trombone, have expressed Seniors who have scheduled ap­ committee consisting of several be able to keep up wi~h them, and the pointments and interviews should members of the Basket Weaving 101 building will fall down. their excitement in anticipation of the day, saying "this day really puts us on meet at the Center, then go directly to will present the president with a homemade red carpet. Residents of the dorm are blaming the students' leveL" the DEER PARK. Those seniors who have had call backs on interviews When asked if anyything could pre­ the damage on giant termites which All admitted they are looking for­ they say are eating their way through should forget them, they're only being vent the visit, Raygun stated that only ward to pouring butter over cold nice. a severe nuclear emergency would the concrete walls of the building. _.toast, eating ice-cold vegetables, and Students have shown large holes in stop him. In this case, he said, his pulling foreign objects out of their second-in-command Rich Little would the second floor walls, but as yet have "Big D" burgers. For dessert, all plan E307 students threatening strike not been able to produce one of the A strike by students in -E307, a jour­ make the speech for him. "For to dig deep into the depths of the ice heaven's sake, Rich sounds so much oversized insects. cream cabinet in search of chocolate nalism class requiring practical work at The Review may prevent like me I have to pinch myself to . School officials have refused the eclairs. make sure it's not." federal aid because they want to see Something's Happ.ening, Campus Students are urged . to eat their the students suffer. Briefs, and Retrospects from appear- Nancy would, of course, stand by meals in Rodney dining hall on Mon­ . ing in the paper's UP.coming issues. day so · they can witness the Little's side and smile if he were to Students have threatened to picket replace the President. Dorm wins "Use Energy Week" managers' happy faces as they bite outside of The Review offices after Kent Hall has been awarded new into a stale piece of chocolate layer spring break if negotiations with light switch plates fo.r using the most cake. But don't be discouraged, guys, editors are not arranged immediate­ energy during "Use Energy Week." the icing is good! ly. Intoxicating lecture to be held The prize was received yesterday in "'A' for Intoxication" will be the One disgusted student sa~d, "We go Kent's lounge before a crowd of 200 . down there for two excruciating hours theme of an upcoming seminar "We had so II)any students show up a week, dilligently type those briefs, discussing the,excellent grades possi­ · to see the awards ceremony," ex­ Food convention announced retrospects, and something's happen­ ble when students are put in the right plains Kent's Hall Director, "that we A convention of the University of ing's on those horrendous, ancient frame of mind to take exams. turned another 200 away. We just Delaware food handlers and couldn't seat that many." preparers has been announced for typewriters, and receive absolutely - The first lecture, titled "Satisfac­ Kent's Hall Government president next week, to teach employees better nothanks." tory Sober; Dynamic Drunk," will be feels that the competition was tough. methods of making students' meals Editors are appalled at this sudden given by Alfred Alkee, a transient "Our strategies included gathering in more appetizing. rebellion. The implications of this professor whose background is fm:got­ the lounge to watch General Hospital Some programs included in the possible strike are extremely serious. ten. It will be held at the Deer Park If E307 students do go on strike, so- Tavern all day and night or until while leaving all the lights on in all of week long convention are titled "Food our rooms and also dryii)g socks Can Be Hotter than the Silverware," ·meone ·will have to write the briefs, Alkee can no longer talk. Admission is retrospects, and something's happen- free to anyone who wishes to stagger separately to keep the dryers runn­ "Cooking with Less Grease," and ings. Editors may be awarded with in. ing." "Too Much Broccoli Spoils Students' · thehonor. · One resident, who refused to be G P A." A three day orientation to the. Editors may, however, follow Among topics to be discussed at the identified, admits that she even left program will include a De­ President Reagan's example and br­ lecture are: specific cocktails for dif­ her curling iron on all day while at sensitization Period" in which the ing in free lance writers to do the dirty ferent exams, how to know when classes. "At rrrst it was an accident, employees are subjected to various work, sources said. - you're drunk enough to ace an exam, then I realized that it would help the doses of crab cakes, Italia,n meatloaf, and approaches to asking your pro­ effort so I left it on." · and "scandinavian vegetables." fessor out for drinks after the exam. The competition was sponsored by -This program, fitst enacted last Reagan to speak at Clayton Hall Immediately following the lecture Housing and Residence Life. Ac­ year with hopes of stabilizing poor President Ronald Raygun will will be a happy hour at Alkee's cording to a spokesman, "Unless enrollmnent caused by an exceeding speak at Clayton Hall next week on residence under the bridge on Chapel students increase their energy use, nwnber of student deaths, was pro­ how his proposed tax cuts will affect Street. All prospective dean's list can­ we're going to have to lower tuition." posed by Mary Lindsay Smith, an the student body. didates are urged to attend. Page 6 • THE REVIEW • April 2, 1982-- editorial--...,...------r------The-ioke' s on you Many readers probably picked up a copy of our hi9hly esteemed tabloid (often called "The Rag" by its many ad­ Oliphant on Strlce mirers) today and said, "What the hell is going on here?" We don't blame you. No Cartoon Toclar Of course, none of the stories you have read are true, and the names have been changed to protect the idio ...er. innocent. Any connections to real persons living or dead is for satirical purposes only. But why. you ask. What possess- ed the editors to put together an entirely bogus issue? Well, there's no sense in beating around the proverbial bush. let's face it, this newspaper is boring. BORING! Do you really think we like printing 16 pages of folderol twice a week, knowing full well thcit its primary uses ore lining trash cans, bird cages, wrapping fish, and in the case of the Classified Ads. giving students som~thing interesting to do ---- during that boring one o'clock lecture? Well, we'll tell you-­ we don't. We don't like it one iota. And, we bet, neither do -~ you. So, as a public service to our readers (both of you). we ~=Our Boy 'Foby ~~~~~~~~~~~by The Boy Toby==== decided to let loose some laughter on this, All Fool'!> Day. What the hay. we figured, nothing ever happens the week before Spring Break. No major news ever presents itself when everyone is thinking about Florida. Besides, the ad· Mr. Wilson Tells All ministration always breaks the big stuff while we're on When I arrived at the Student Center this dent Reagan and Secretary of State Vague for vocation. Any vacation will do .. Christmas. Thanksgiving. morning, en route to my basement office, I the fine work they're doing in Washington?" the summer, even the weekend between Winter Session was confronted by an incredible sight. The "Fine work?" I asked. and Spring Semester. But !'lever when we can use it. Scrounge was in flames, apparently because a But Mr. Wilson had come prepared. As the Nothing is going on in the way of entertainment. either. disgruntled employee had chosen to ignore a fire in the Scrounge became more violent, Newark will 'be even duller than usual over Spring Break Hefty Burger with Cheese that had inadver­ with flames licking at the tables outside, Mr. tantly been left on the griddle. Wilson detailed the wonderful ac­ unless your idea of fun. is sitting in the Queer. Pork with a complishments of the Reagan Administration. ha11dful of townies who look like they just walked off the But wait-that wasn't all. The Review office was being picketed. Being a fine, sharp­ "In any normal year," he explained, "only set of "Deliverance." about one quarter of the students at this But if it really bothers you, if we seem to be the most ir· witted-hard-nosed reporter, I quickly sized up the situation and started to go after the big­ university would graduate, and get to leave. responsible young people since the sixties. look at it this gest story of the year. Headlines danced in my for that opportunity to explore the 'real' way. You don't have to read this. We're not holding a gu·n to head: "One Man Picket Disrupts Review" or world. But this year will be the last, not only your head. You con just pretend we didn't publish on issue "Review Picketed; Man Complains." for seniors, but for many members of the today. - At first I thought it was that wretched junior, sophomore and freshman classes as Or better still, treat it like a regular issue of the Revie"' . Oliphant who had the gall to call up the other well. That's because of the president's in­ read the personals and throw it away. day to tell me that he was "on strike" in pro­ itiative in cutting student aid. Students have We bet you already did. test of our use of a rival cartoonist' work to learn about the harsh realities of collecting several weeks ago. Then I thought it was our · unemployment checks, you know." ~readers regurgitate~ man Arthur Hoppe, who neglected to turn in a Suddenly it all became clear to me. "Yes, story for this issue, claiming (as a reporter you are right Mr. Wilson. But what about the who no longer writes for this tabloid once did) Central America issue?'' that he "had a date." Once again Mr. Wilson was prepared. As the Somebody is perfect Scrounge ceiling began to collapse, he calmly To the Editor: But once again I was w~ong. It was my friend Mr. Wilson, with whom I have engaged explained what should already have been ob­ In response to your editorial on tpe student body survey in vious tome. which you stated "Nobody's Perfect," we would most hear­ in many long and interesting phone conversa- tily like to object. For shame, Review for shame! You ob­ tions. ,.- "By starting a war, Secretary of State Vague viously have never laid eyes upon Rolinda Yabolini. She "Why, Mr. Wilson, it's you that's behind all is going to give all those students who can no jogs past Harter Hall at 6:37 every night and we can't wait of this," I said, tapping him on the shoulder, longer afford to go to school a chance to have for shorts weather - we're sure that sweats don't do her just above the "I love Reaganomics" patch an exciting job in a foreign country-with free justice. So what if the survey is about professors; we pro- his mother had sewn onto his jacket. "What's travel, yet. And Vague's old employer, the ar­ fess her NUMBER ONE! all the ruccus .. " my, will even provide lovely green clothes Harter Hall residents "I want to speak to the editor," Mr. Wilson that would please any prep, I'm sure." said. ~~~~~~kinky letterS welcome-=::::=:::::::::~ "But the editor is not here right now, Mr. As the Student Center, wrapped in flames, The Review welcomes all letters from pimps, hookers and Wilson," I told him. "Why don't you tell me began to collapse, (in spite of the best of ef­ other sexual perverts, provided they are explicit in telling what's on your mind." forts of Newark's firemen) I rushed to my their kinky sexual experience stories. We do not accept let- "Why don't you ever print the other side of basement office to write the biggest story of ters pertaining to our news coverage or editorial stance, the issues? Why don't you ever praise Presi- the year: "Mr. Wilson Tells All." however. ~~~more readers regurgitate~~~ The RevieW Preppies ask for fair chance Vol. 106 No 47 Nowork. DE Fodoy, Apr ill, 20'32 To the Editor: should we then have to put up likely. The wall of prejudice The students of this school, with senseless ridicule at will crumble and both of you Babowoo and The Review, are not giv- their hands? will see just how much fun the A J sMommy Ed1tor-in-Chief Man of Magic Managing Ed1tor Business Manage' . ing us, the university Prep- other is to be with. J•m Used 1Want o Raise • f • t t t J Executive Ed1tor Adve,ising D"ecta1 pleS a1r rea men . USt Most of the preppies I know The Boy Toby because have alligators on are fun people to be around, Just because we're from Editorial Editor ·-. the other side of the tracks News Ed•toll-lid.., ~~-;~-",hi. 'llli'"c 1.J 't·1 -)\ssistont Adverf1Stng Oirecto~ (. ,. . ·,or . •• ...... Deer Pork Woman"" Scum . t Cit tfit:!Y' ... are~'- ust alUrinal leaks exclusive interview; Help American Together~ as Red Cross we can story not a complete washout much change things. Crane: How would you like team-streamed by twenty By Mal Content people throwing lit cigarettes members of the wrestling as you For years, urinals across in your mouth all day? team on their way back from the campus have been a silent THE REVIEW: It must not the Stone Balloon. can. minority. Studies show that be very healthy. their needs are completely THE REVIEW: When was Crane: Yes, I've been very that? neglected by at least half of ill lately. In fact, I've been the student body. The 1 LIQUORS feeling kind of flushed all day. Crane: That was in 1976. \Z~. ~ · 896 ~ Review, in recognition of its rr. 896 Shops (1017 S. College Ave.) obligation to present the opi­ THE REVIEW: What are Oh, those were the golden ~ ' ~ - nions of bathroom facilities, some of the other problems years. .\ ·.· "',~.. . Newark, Del. ' I is proud to present the follow­ inherent in being a urinal? THE REVIEW: Do you .J:: ·· > ~- 368-5555 ... ing interview with John Crane: Well, lots of peopl5! have any plans for retire­ Crane, a urinal in the Student throw paper in my moutfi. 15% Discount w/Student I. D. and Proof of age Center mens' room for the ment? That stuff makes me so sick I Spirits & Wines 1.75lit .. 1lit .. 1so Mil. last seven years. could throw up. Crane: Well, if I ever get out of this hole, I'd love to get Beer by the case THE REVIEW: What THE REVIEW: Are urinals a job as the royal urinal in Red Tag Specials excluded would you say are the main affected in any way by Presi­ complaints of the urinals on Buckingham Palace, or even dent Reagan's supply-side as a birdbath at Longwood •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• this campus? economics policy? Gardens. " : Jimmy's Diner : Crane: We're tired of being Crane: Well, my colleagues THE REVIEW: With ! Try our delicious home cooked meals. : written on, for one. They only and I are definitely feeling remodeling? wash us once a year, and by the effects of his trickle--down ! We have both quality and quantity at: that time most of us are com­ theory, but other than that, Crane: The technology's pletely covered with graffiti. no. there. • reasonable prices. Everybody meets at • And another thing, we're get­ • • ting tired of all the cigarette THE REVIEW: What has THE REVIEW: Do you : ·Jimmy's Diner. : butts. been your worst experience have any closing comments as a UD urinal. for the student body? !• 137 E. Main St. · !• THE REVIEW: That's not Crane: I'll never forget the . Crane: Yes, go somewhere • Newark, 368-8338 • too bad though, is it? horrible night when I was else. • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

.. (

If you're a senior and have the promise of a $10,000 career-oriented job, do you know what's stopping you from getting the American Express· Card? You guessed it. Nothing. · · Because American Express believes in your future. But more than that. We believe in you now. And we're proving it. A $10,000 job promise. That's it. No strings. No gimmicks. And this offer is even good for 12 months after you graduate. But why do you need the American Express Card now? First of all, it's a good way to begin to establish yotl~ credit history. And you know that's important. . Ofcourse, the Card is also good for travel, restaurants, and shopping for things like a new stereo or furniture. And because the Card is recognized and welcomed worldwide, so are you. So call for a Special Student Application or look for one at your college bookstore or on cam~':lS bulletin boards. The American Express Card. Don't leave Review Photo by Pimp Van Highman school without it!" AN EXLCUSIVE INTERVIEW: John Crane.

r ;;,. ' Page 8 • THE REVIEW • April2, 1982 Every now and then ... Gracy Dyin organiz.ed earlier, DSA benefits

Grac~ Dyin', president of the Dissident Student Association announced the organization's ac­ complishments for the year up until this point at a meeting of the DSA Sunday. "We're very happy to -have done this well this year," Dyin' said. "Last year we took much longer · to get organized, and as a result, we weren't able to schedule a meeting to announce all of the things we had hoped to do." The following is listing of DSA's accomplishments thus far:

1

I . !.·ii i

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' U.

... - ...... ~ ~ ""·~~~ ~ .. ..___,_ ··- ~··. a::: -- Imagine being the Japanese wife of an -, American serviceman and you've just been . transferred to a place called "Florida" ... enJO): You've never eaten a "submarine." You've never heard of Country Music. And / you've just seen a skyscraper for the f1rst time in your life. a change of pace. Many foreign-born wives turn to the USO as their first American friend. The USO con­ Labatt's 50 from Canada ducts informal language classes on English. is the perfect change of pace. just one taste Teaches wives ho'w to balance a family will tell you . Labatt's 50 IS the smooth budget and cook a balanced meal. The USO easy-drinking beer you've been looking for. even offers advice on finding a job in a tough ' ( A bee! as special as the 50th anmversary it job market. was brewed to celebrate. The next time you Because life's toughest battles aren.'t want a change, enjoy a 50. always fought in the field.

• Support USO through the United Way, OCFC, or local USO campaign or send a tax­ LABAR'S deductible contribution to USO, Box 1982, Washington, D.C. 20013. Canada's Leading Name in Beer

lA8ATT IMPORTERS INC AMHERST NEW'f'ORt~; April2, 1982 • THE REVIEW • Page 9 ~~ad nausem~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=== I l Brute Springstone rocks Delaware Stadium J upon the sympathies of 1 By Olive Paul recently laid-off auto workers l SPOT (Student Programs 13,5W plus Presi_dent attend concert picketing across the street. Which ,are Odious and Springstone wound up the ~ Tedious) wrapped up its boyantly attired in soiled song by introducing a story l outstanding concert series for Levis, an "I'm behind the about the song's origins. the semester with Brute Spr­ Blue Hens" t-shirt and grimy "Like, you see, me and uh, 1 ingstone, who performed Chuck Taylor hightops. The the boys were driving down j Wednesday night at the singer's accessories included the turnpike uy just like 1' Delaware Stadium. The con­ a red headband knotted firm­ drinking Spits, Joe's beer and I cert was co-sponsored by ly over his unwashed hair. all, and like we turned off on Students for A Better New Tres elegant. Exit 10. There was this beat­ Jersey, a militant left-wing For his next number, Spr­ up ol' Dodge with like its ingstone chose a tender, bumper in the dirt. and like i junta trying unsuccessfully to raise the state's reputation to delicate ballad, one which I that's how I got the name for I some degree of respectabili­ had not yet heard. In the song, You know, like ! ty. "Rosecrucian," he gently Chrysler Farm. Didn't I say it 1 urged a female acquaintance was a Chrysler?" inform to accompany him to an even­ The crowd whistled its ap· \ ing outing. His sensitive, proval, and Springstone took Springstone ripped into his crystalline-clear voice over­ the opportunity to whisk his 1 opening number, "Born to whelmed the crowd, who band off stage for a brief, 45- Drive All Night," shortly quietly listened to the music. minute break. During the in­ after 9 p.m. The diminutive •••Interlude: I enjoyed the termission, I took the time to tunesman was sans his E. song, but the lyrics confused consult with another amateur Street Band; however, he was me. Why does he keeP. wan­ music critic, T.S. Richards. backed rather admirably by ting this poor, sheltered child the university marching to "jump a little higher?" "Well, at least he's improv­ And why the hell does he want ed over the years," Richards band. said. "At first, all 'he could The crowd of 13,501 (the en­ to drive her through the tire student body, plus Presi­ swamps of Jersey? Don't write about was playing pin· dent E.A. Trombone, who they coritain carcinogenic ball in some dive in Addbury took the time to snooze under chemicals? Well, maybe I'll Park. The mature Spr­ ingstone is now penning gems the stands) roared ap­ listen a little longer to see if preciatively for Springstone's there's anything to this about getting some girl preg­ rendition of the Top 200 hit, guy.••• nant on the banks of a and for the saxophone solo polluted New Jersey river. After a guitar solo by It's more meaningful, by the Little White Man, an Delaware Steve Van Dyke, unknown university musi­ Springstone . immediately somehow.'' How did Richards like the cian. went into "Chrysler Farm," a Springstone was flam- catchy tune intended to play Aroused Town _..;;..... ______(C'lntinued to page 10) ....,. H~ig and Reagan among winners Students to -miss fun THE CRYSTAL MUG: in Review~s own Academy awards By Merely Faking will shatter from the im­ Students who set off this pact of "Rolling Stones." ~ By Wrecked Reams In other areas, the award for BEST weekend for Florida, the After touring the country With all due respect to the Academy, Tues­ SCREENPLAYgoes to DAVID STOCKMAN Carolinas, or other points throughout the past year day night's award ceremony was another ex­ for his brilliant "QUEST TO BE FIRED" in the South and even those they feel that their tour ample of how sour grapes is always the ove~­ which stirred the hearts of many earlier this people going home to would not be complete riding factor in the selection of winners every year, but which was forgotten by our friends relax, will all wish that without performing in year. at the Academy. spring break had never Newark. In the name of fair play we professional BEST PRODUCER was won in a group ef­ come. Mick Jagger said that he 'Critics at The Rebuke have decided to honor fort THE UNITED FARM WORKERS for For the next 10 days enjoyed being billed with the obvious choices who would have won were their modern adaptation of "THE GRAPES Newark will be the center George Thorogood in it not for the petty and envious minds of small­ OF WRATH." of activity and excitement. Philadelphia this past time judges. Not to be forgotten, BEST SONG was In addition to the nightly September and would con­ For the BEST MOTION PICTURE we have awarded to the acclaimed CUBAN fun, there will be lots o~ sider it an honor to per­ chosen "ABSENCE OF GRAY MATTER," REFUGEES for their hit single "I DON'T sun. form in his hometown. starring veteran RONALD REAGAN, who Constant activity will THE GROUND BEEF: has been consistently overlooked despite his turn Main Street into a the family style restaurant outstanding record and ability to work well in "strip" of hotspots hosting on Route 69 will serve their a variety of different roles be they popular entertainment. audience some "prime" Democratic or Republican. Bands will play and booze entertainment this BEST DIRECTOR goes to ALEXANDER IOurway.j will flood these bars and weekend as they feature HAIG for his brilliant direction of the con­ restaurants around town: Meat Loaf. The heart throb 'WANT TO GO HOME." troversial "WAR IN EL SALVADOR," THE STONE BABOON: of many plans on singing Making an appearance for the first time is Since " Absence of Gray Matter," the film will go ape this weekend as his infamous song ' 'Two WAYNE WILLIAMS in the "ATLANTA about Reagan's continued attempts to allude they bring back a favorite out of Three Ain't Bad." MURDER TRIAL" who wins the award for the press, won our academy Award for best quartet, The Monkees. The Prior to his stage show BEST ACTOR for managing to never break Picture, we professi()nals at The Rebuke group will perform hits he will have dinner at the character under even the most adverse cir­ thought it would be in good journalistic taste st.tch as " Girl," and restaurant, where they of­ to also rate the other actors in the film on their "Daydream Believer." fer a choice of a fish, meat cumstances. believability as news people (since we know BEST ACTRESS goes hands down to Davey Jones, the idol of or pasta entree. Meat Loaf best). many girls on campus, will plans on eating two out of PRINCESS DIANA for her unprecedented Babawoo was adequate as the bumbling performance in the remake .of the classic give banana daiquiries to the three, which " ain't Editor-in-Chief who manages to trip over her the first 100 girls. "HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI." bad." He is supposedly bike while perfectly sober- for a change. LEO'S WBSTER POT: saving room for dessert, In the supporting roles, BEST SUP­ Jim Used was quite humorous as the Ex­ PORTING ACTOR unquestioningly was presents as their guest this which he has on stage. ecutive Editor who can't make a decision weekend the B-52's. "Rock THE UNDER awarded-to the elusive GEORGE BUSH for without first consulting his Bible - Time his rumored contribution to "MISSING." Lobster" will be their GROUND: will bring back magazine. featured number, and the a couple of the Stars of the BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS was a The Boy Toby was insistent as the Editorial audience will be encourag­ '60s when they did up some tougher decision, remaining a toss up between Editor who cannot get his mind out of the gut­ ed to dance with their Woodstock favorites. Per- ELIZABETH TAYWR for her role in ter- or out of Baltimore. "catch of the day." (Continued to page 10) "WHOSE WIFE IS SHE. ANYWAY?" The rest of the cast was perfect-as always. Page 10 • THE REVIEW • April2, 1982 Notorious increase of dogs on campus I Read The Review, Please I ...... ______. gives· rise' to had problem -- dog ga~gs

By Pam Molson fire hydrants. Other times we little poodle turned up her f!~[i!~i The notorious increase of rob pet stores of chain mail nose and announced, "It's dogs on the university ca~­ and dog bones. It's fun." simply disgusting. Just last f::< "The Quiet Section of a ~ pus has given rise to a serious Doggie Haven owner Rob week 1 was accosted by a '3 Lovely University Town" and dangerous problem - dog r-R_o_b_ert_s_d_o_e_s_n_'t_t_hin_._k__ s_o--,, pack of German Shepards. Our Rent Includes: gangs. They sniffed me and made Whether the development several obscene comments. I a •Dream kitchen with of these terrible and menac­ breakfast bar LSAT•MCAT•GRE wasn't even in heat!" •Spacio'us Rooms- ing gangs grew out of the Pure-bred leader Spot an­ ::1 (largest apts. in areal GRE PSYCH • GRE 810 • MAT dog's idelness while their nounced that the gangs were •Large dining area ' GMAT • DATE • OCAT • PCAT masters were in class or just "all in plain fun. We chase a •Wail to wall carpeting VAT • SAT • CPA • TOEFL the fact that there are too few cats around, sure but B•Heat & hot water many dogs for the amount of that's all." turf available is just not MSKP • NAT'L MED BDS Just last week, however, a known. pack of dogs was seen rum­ ~ •,O;;iv~r;~;~~~u~e ECFMG • FLEX • VOE "The problem is definitely NDG • NPB I• NlE maging through garbage ~ FROM $340 on the rise," said dog catcher cans, assaulting other dogs Pete Badguy. "It starts in­ and cats and chewing up §@ NOW OPEN MON. THRU SAT. ~-HMPIAN nocently enough, the dogs get ·::1 STOPBY&SEEUS newspapers. EDUCATIONAL CENTER together to chew raw hide The solution? Masters are Test Preparat1on Specialists bones and chase cats and then Stnce 1938 asked to occupy their dogs by WHARTON DR .. NEWARK, DE. they get bored and go on to I'" ~...... ::::...... ______. throwing sticks and balls. worse things." "They're a menace!" he Hopefully, this will give the ~) 731-9253 ' 20 Peddlers Row Mongrel leader Fido said, Peddlers Village declared. "They sneak in, animals something to do and Professional Management y v &! t Christiana. DE 19702 "We get together just about scare the cats and steal all keep them off the streets. • _,J Franklin Realty Group of Pa., (302) 737-1124 every day now. Sometimes mydogbones.'' Concerned owners can call vL Inc. Realtor we cruise Main Street and pee '

Remember what it was like to be a freshman? Reading your campus map upside down? Trying to find your faculty advisor? Wonder­ ing where to go and what to do on a Friday night? Wel,l. now you have the opportunity to help incoming freshmen and transfers orient themselves to the University. The Office of Admissions is searching for qualified undergraduates to work with new students and their parents during this summer's New Student Program. Students hired will be employed from June 21 through July 20, 1982. A training day will be held June 18.

QUALIFICATIONS

Students' qualifications should include: knowledge of the campus. active participation in campus ac­ tivities and organizations, and the ability and desire to relate to a wide variety of people. Applicants will be hired for one of the following areas as their primary responsibility. Some positions will inyolve assignments in two or more areas. Jim Used: Good day, I'm Jim Used and this is me. Like I run this place, and like I am The my fellow editor Pied Piper. Review. NEW STUDENT INFORMATION ASSISTANTS-Primary Pied Piper: How's it going, eh? -Jim Used: Take off. How can you say that? responsibilities will include: conducting discussion Jim Used: So like, our ·topic today is The Pied Piper: And like, if you guys really wanna sessions with students and parents; conducting tours; Review. know the truth we never won any Pulitzers. In answering concerns of new students .and their Pied Piper: Yeah, like most of you readers fact we've never won anything, and like we're parents; Registration and other responsibilities. probably think our paper is just a worthless not good for anything but the classifieds. And rag, but actually we've won six Pulitzer so like most of us down here are just a bunch REGISTRATION ASSISTANTS - will help entering Prizes but like we don't want to brag. of alcoholics that never amount to anything freshmen in registering for classes; working with ad­ wh.en we graduate. visement worksheets; schedule books; and registra­ Jim Used: And most of our editors start work­ tion forms. Prepare and issue ID cards. Direct and ing for the New York Times and the Jim Used: You hoser. How can you make us wide contact with new students. Washington Post as soon as they get out of look bad like that? Pied Piper: Hey, like did you ever hear of here. freedom of speech and like give the people APPLICATIONS Pied Piper: Yeah and like ac~ually The Philly what they want, eh? Applications will be accepted Apri I 1 -19. Inquirer doesn't print its Tuesday and Friday­ Jim Used: Well you can take off. Applications forms are available from Charlene issues until they read our editorial. Pied Piper: Fine and like you'll be looking for Strbmel , Assistant Director of Admissions, 116 me when you're working for the Idaho Sun­ Jim Used: So like, we are THE definitive Times. Hullihen Hall, telephone738-8123. newspaper in this country, like. Jim Used: Fine. Good day. Pied Piper: And the truth is, it's all because of Pied Piper: Good day .

• UNIVERSITY STUDENT JUDICIAL SYSTEM FACULTY/STAFF /S -TUDENTS By action of the Council on Student Judicial Affairs. t he following change to the University Student Judicial System document was recommended to the Vice-President for Student Affairs. The Council ac­ BLOOD-PRESSURE CHECK tion was taken on February 12. 1982, and approval was granted by the Vice-President on February 26, 1982: ' Student Health Service Section XII, Rights of the Accused Laurel Hall Immunization Clinic • _If a j\ld icial hearing or appeal is conducted. a student accus­ ed of a violation is entitled to: 1. A hearing within a, reasonable period of time after the charge ~9) is" formall'y communicated in writing to, the - l • studehtJ ·"' ·(;' C:h. • .,,. • l~quiries ~{Ja.I'QimJ ,th ~~flk, ~houl_

The Review Classified Send your ad to us with payment. For first 10 words, $5.00 minimum for non-students. $1.00 for B-1 Student Center students with 10. Then 5' for " every word Newark, DE 19711 Classifieds thereafter.

WANTED: 25 antique shower caps for senior SAVE $5.00 FROM SPRING BREAK for citizen undergraduates who plan to stroke Court Jesters-For a "Cinderella team" you announcements lost and fougd had a great season. ~o would ever have THE NIGHT HAWKS IN BACCHUS. 2 the breast across the English Channel. thought you'd make the playoffs? We did! shows. April 22nd. THIS YEAR ALONE 15 MILLION LOST: BLUE STAR SAPPHIRE RING IN Love, Your confused scorekeeper. P.S. Who Vis - So what if we're the only ones left In AMERICANS WILL BE TURNED DOWN was thatfoul on? WHEN APPLYING FOR MASTERCARD, SMITH PLATO CLASSROOM. IF FOUND, perso~als New.ark, right? Thanks for making every OR VISA CREDIT CARDS. DON'T BE ONE PLEASE CALL 798-9563. 4th Floor DKF-Your a GREAT bunch, we're weekend our anniversary. Here's to falling glad to be a part of you! Love, Amy and off horses!! (I'll not to embarass you) OF THEM!! INNOVATIVE ~EW PRO­ Lost: Gold Ladies class ring with Mother of try THIS YEAR ALONE 15 MILLION Mary. P.S. Who cares if Glamour doesn't like I did two and a half years ago at Mr. P's­ GRAM NOW ENABLES YOU TO GET ONE Pearl Stone. If found, please call731-%50. AMEiqCANS WILL BE TURNED DOWN OR BOTH OF THESE VALUABLE CREDIT want us. - Oh come on, you loved It!!! And so did I-~1 LOST: TWEED JACKET: LIGHT WHEN APPLYING FOR MASTER CARD worth. Thanks for taking me where all the I ' CARDS. NO PREVIOUS CREDIT BLUE/BROWN, IN PURNELL 028 ON OR VISA CREDIT CARDS. DON'T BE ONE John and Eric, I really must play you two In NECESSARY!!!! NO MINIMUM INCOME Backgammon and Acey Ducey when you are women had furs. Next time we see a play, THURSDAY MARCH 25. REWARD $20. OF THEM!!! INNOVATIVE NEW PRO­ how's about Mexico City? I love you, even REQUIREMENTS!!! NO CO-SIGNER CONTACTKIRK453-1957. GRAM NOW ENABLES YOU TO GET ONE sobertoseeifi can still win. (Good Stuff!) B. though you nuuu me! Brenda 1 NEEDED!!! DON'T WAIT- CALL TO­ OR BOTH OF THESE CREDIT CARDS. NO inDKC DAY!! 453-8443!!! PREVIOUS CREDIT NECESSARY!!! NO To my FLORIDA Buddies: Deb, Kate, & Sheila - Thanks for being there at 3 a.m. Heard a lot about financial aid cuts l,.tely but CO-SIGNER NEEDED!!! CALL 453-8443. Davee-day,l can't wait until tomorrow. Sun with a smile! You're a great friend and a rent/sublet fantastic editor. Love, Brenda. not really sure how they're going to affect NIGHTHAWKS IN BACCHUS is better than & Fun, HERE WE COME!!!-Mel. you? Want to know how you can fight cuts in Apartment for Rent (Immediately- CRUNCH CITY IN THE BALLOON. April Of all the cities in the East surely Pittsburgh To the land of sun and leis, \ the federal aid financial budget? Then you Available). $187 per month. Lease only 6 22nd. is the most UNUKELY. You know wbat I Where we'll be scoplng everyday, _ won't want to miss Financial Aid Information I!le&n. I'm so bappy I could BURST. Mixing debauchery and ale, Day, April 14, sponsored by the Delaware montba. On DART + University Bus Line. My Miss Ellie: Down at the Longbranch. On- Where else but Ft. Lauderdale. Undergraduate Student Congress (DUSC). Callafter7p.m. -731-9862. ly you and J.R. or Big Ben. Looks like a For more information, see the 4/13 issue of ROOM FOR RENT AVAIL. NOW TO MALE million. Drill west, come May, twelve new May 12: Smokey says save wildlife: Only one Lying out and catching rays, the Review or call the DUSC office, 738-2648. UNDERGRADUATE. FULL USE OF wells (125 on the hoof) like the herd horns in: can prevent forest fires: URH20. 3 In one Waiting for night to make our plays, HOUSE F ACIUTIES, GOOD F ACIUTIES So lay down the law deep In the heart of field the deer and the antelope 4 playpen­ Coming Soon on May 7th, Nursing College When "with the babes no guy can fail," FOR ENGINEER OR C.S. MAJOR. NON- South Fork Texas, zip. 36-26-36. Your Jock lagon. Ewe should go on the stafe, there is Oh promised land of La'!derdale. Council's Life Fest; Watch for it! SMOKER, WALK/BIKE TO CAMPUS $92.50 You-wing. one leaving in 5 min. Not 2 knight, Bette NIGHT HAWKS IN BACCHUS. April 22nd. MO.+ ¥• UTILITIES. 738-9656DAY, 738-0254 CALL YOUR CONGRESSMAN DAY D com- Davia eyes: southern 6 party, y'all come. But then again who's to say, TWO SHOWS 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Tickets go NIGHT. ing on March 14th, also known as FINAN- Quintilian: Let them come 2 me. 5 bison are 5 . Will we really find those leis on sale after Spring Break. Furnished Bedroom in house, 2.8 miles from CIAL AID INFORMATION DAY! Come and longhorn nickels. Un-<:ola. Could have bad a Tied 'round some babes hot to unveil University, non-smoker, 738-4406. find out how financial aid cuts will affect you V8, 9 to 5. Not Wilcox, Lucy and Rodney: Their primal souls in Lauderdale. Markk X, V Trapp V. Robin hood maid -Neal, John, Phil, and Bob. Sublet, Available now. Spacious 2 bedroom and how you can help fight them. The marion friar tuck. Buffalo Bill never dies, he available apartment. $285/mo. Excellent condition. 'h Delaware Undergraduate Student Cungress just Newlittlebighorns. MAyDay Tokyo Rose mile from campus. 366-1595. (DUSC) will once again pick up the bill for Sbaron Amy Gropper, all the way down in ol' :::;:;:;:::;::;::;;;;;;;;;;;;::~;:;:::;:::;:::;:::;:::;:::;:;_ you to call your congressman and express SOS-OK Charley-Dione-Julie. From; Ozark 10% OFF RACQUET STRINGING WITH and the gnu: Jerry Salem, 4-11. Bawlmaw: I lovsyou verv much. Can I thank THIS AD UNTIL APRIL!!! Free pick-up • , ' your views. Look for more information in the you for: 13-plus months, B.I., Elvis, many and delivery in the Newark area. Tennis, 3/13 issue of the Review or call the DUSC of­ / many many baked goods, Tom Waits, racquetball and squash racquets. Gamma wanted fice -738-2648. DEAR, FRIEND, HAVE AN EXCELLENT thousands of letters, thousands more Gut - $12, Head Oil filledT 11.00, Leonia 77 - Well, honey, it looks like smooth sailing now TIME CAMPING. I'LL MISS YOU. YOUR wonderful loving words, laughs, my Cross 10.00, Winn Blue - 9.00, Leoina 66 - 8.00, Blue COUNSELORS, Private coed overnight for a while. Enjoy your much deserved spr­ BUDDY. pen, shirts, but most of all that very first Spiral - 7.00.-Grips: Calfskin - $5.00, Suede camp in Berkshires has openings in basket­ ing vacation. I 'n crusin' now and thinking SEE! THE NIGHTHAWKS with more room brownie and all the love that followed. -4.00. Call Chuck 737-4595. ball, tennis, archery, gymnastics, lacrosse, about you. Florida is nice but you made my tq DANCE! April22nd in Bacchus. (notice none of those qualifiers you don't model rocketry, radio station (AM), ac­ Typing. 8 ,yrs. exp. Will pick up. Call spring break. Remember, the sunsets + CPA REVIEW CLASS NOW FORMING like, i.e. ilid) Ilove you, Tobias Maureen. 301-398-4730. companist, dance/movement/show have a GREATful Dead concert, I'm sure FORM THE NOVEMBER EXAM!! CALL SIGMA ETA XI Annual toga party and choreography, drama, head waterfront - you will. See you soon. Love, Mare. 453-8443. Roman orgy. April 3, 9 p.m.-? Velcro College boys interested in house painting pool (WSI), head small crafts - lake (WSI), KARYN- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! How does closures recommended for sheets. swimming instructors ( WSI) waterskiing CRACKER JACK, Sypherd's newest and jobs. 5 yrs. experience, interior/exterior. it feel to be future roomies? Go ahead, like a LAURA: Last night was really great, My Newark area preferred. Reasonable rates. and sailing. Openings also for unit leaders little. We'll be o.k. once I figure out which sexiest R.A.! I KNEW you could make it! and bunk counselors. Good salaries, friendly Congratulations! ALL my love, MAR-MAR knees are still weak. Let's get together again Call Pat, 655-9215 or Lou 454-8617 for free shoe goes on which foot! DANA real soon. estimate. atmosphere. Contact Mark 454-7582. Jimmy and Kenny- As you are reading this I Cath o Cath, Catherine, C.E.P., "Your MOBSTER, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU: FEMALE ROOMMATE WANTED TO Mom," Cathy w/ac: ME, forget to put a Per­ am soaking up rays on a warm sunny beach SHARE 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT, in Key Largo. Not even North Wildwood was FIRST AND FOREMOST, I WOULD UKE Typing - IBM Selectric. Quality Work. sonal in for your 2ast!! AU CONTRAIRE! TO WISH YOU THE VERY HAPPIEST OF Reasonable Rates. Call Anytime. 454-7650. PRIVATE BEDROOM. $105.00/MONTH. Signed, Your Younger ! by 5 days) this good! Hope you both bave a good vaca­ AVAILABLE NOW. CALL UNDA 738-4228 tion despite the chilly weather. Please take BIRTHDAYS- YES, I KNOW IT WAS or366-0880 Sue Tyler: I'll get it right THIS year: Happy good care of my 'mobile and I'll see you at ALREADY ON TUESDAY, AND HERE IT 20th on the 3rd! (We bave SUCH good taste in IS FRIDAY, AND YOU WON'T SEE THIS WANTED: absolutelynothln'. the airport - I'll be the dark-skinned savage for sale B-day's) Kelley with seaweed in her hair. Love - the "Out­ UNTIL SATURDAY OR SUNDAY, BUT WANTED: a heart, the tin man. Hey U of D, Guess who has the sexiest lips on ward Bound" woman STILL I WANT TO WISH YOU A HAPPY WANTED: abrain,thescarecrow. ' campus? Donna Pearce and Brian 4 'Kisser'' ONE. THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD GOLDEN RETRIEVERS PUPS, AKC WANTED: Courage, the cowardly lion. Lisa, Relax, enjoy and have fun in the MOBSTER FOR THE LAST (ALMOST) REGISTERED, CHAMP BRED, HIPS Kowalski were voted tops in our pucker con­ Bahamas! Don WANTED: A Toyota to get the hell home, test! come on down to the RSA office to TWENTY YEARS. NOBODY COULD EYES GUARANTEED, SHOTS, WOijMED, So YO, PAT, DO YOU TUINK YOU CAN HAN­ Dorothy. ~~~=------~~~----:­ p1ck up your prtzes. EVER COMPARE.- MR. PYANNA, PLAN­ BEST OFFER 737-6461. DLE BEING 21 AS WELL AS YOU HANDL­ NAMAN, SUPER BEE (P.S. UN CHIN CHU WANTBD: I'da likea everyaboda to senda DEAD TICKETS AVAILABLE - FIRST Thorens TO 110 Turntable, 9 mos. old; Must me therea tuu-lips and dagas ata thee F.O THE .BLACK RUSSIANS? DON'T WONTHEWAR.) see, exc. condition; $250. Call Brian 731-9874. NIGHT (MONDAY) AT SPECTRUM. CALL WORRY, YOU CAN DRIVE THE Reviewww, Dank you.. lfaDI Van Der Zwinkle 738-8274. ASK FOR DAVE. sm:th Al.bergetti. PORCELAIN BUS ON OVER JOHN'S DEAREST SHARON, IT'S A UTTLE EAR­ BIRD! COME ON PAT, YOU KNOW YOU LY BUT WE DIDN'T WANT TO FORGET WANT IT! GOOD DAY, EH! HAPPY Bffi­ YOU SO THE CREW THAT UVES IN 108C THDAY. LOVE, SIR LENGTHALOT, LADY WISHES YOU A VERY HAPPY BIRTH­ DIAMETER, SMELLA AND A HOSER DAY. WE HOPE THAT THE COMING YEAR WILL BRING YOU MUCH HAP­ PINESS AND PLEASUJU;. BEST WISHES FROM ALL OF US... (WHEW, WAS THAT Now Available, Subscription~ of EVER MUSHY. ) Pf-Tbanks. I know I've not been at my very best lately. 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1 LIVING. •The Review will still be distributed free on campus. GIVE TO THE - AMERICAN ·"· CANCER SOCIETY. I'I April 2 , 1982 • TljE REVIEW • Page 13 fl Hen !swimmers go shark h-unting ••• X-country needs dough f!. By Stoney Walkman ple feel safer to swim with sharks are schools in the con- (Continued from page 16) 1 1 h k' tth " On weeke'nds in the off- ess s ar s ou er~. ference." "This is Fat Gayhand," Powell continued. " One of our best J[ season, the Delaware When th~ game IS spotted Distance swimmer Karep distance men. He doesn't get paid. On the contrary, our budget l, women's swiln team will stay ~e Hens lme up ar~und t~e Jagged added, "He (Jetson) only provides him with two breakfasts a week. One pair of I ' in shape by assisting their side and _shoot at Will while gets us so psyched. Besides I shoes a season. And he has to get the uniform. Understand?" 'I{ ·j Coach J. Edgar Jetson in Jetson g_Uides the trawler full love the feeling of power you Only too well. I covered my eyes as Powell whistled again. i.L "patrolling the coastal throttle mto t~e mass. When a get from sawing Great Whites Another painfully thin figure stepped from the dark closet. waters of Southern Florida shark gets hit, Jetson _slows in half. This time, the runner was even smaller and skinnier. I was and the Key~ for sharks." do;~vn and heads toward It. . "Last weekend we literally shocked into submission. n But there1s a "catch" to . I try to keep the b?~t ~- massacred a school of Drexel "Bike Woody," Powell said. " Another one of our distance 'l their "patrolling." side th~ bloody wate_r, said makos. When we get together runners. But he's only a sophomore, so we can't afford to feed "We use .~aliber Brown- Jetson m between sips of a out ·here we get all fired up him at a1l. It's a shame. He had such potential." II ing machine: guns," said Jet- b r 0 w n - P.~ P e r - ~ a g g e d and you can just see that good It was too much for me. I bolted the·office, and ran home to son. "They'~e easy to...handle beverB:ge. Many t!'Illes the ol' Blue and Gold." take solace in my typewriter. It was a story of vice and corrup­ and they give the team a boat p~tches and_ drifts away And red for that matter. tion, I realized, but of a totally different kind than I had an­ chance to :blow off some and ~Is ma~es It harder for ticipated. frustrations ihat build up dur- th~ girls to ~Im. NOTES - Bev Angler suf­ God, it was awful. I had an IBM typewriter and those guys, - ing the week/' . We cant affo~d a lot of fered a cut last weekend when those guys had nothing. But there must be something I could miSses. Those chps are ex- she reached in for the re­ do to help them. Jetson went on .to explain pensive." mains of a hammerhead and That's where SDR came in. Save Delaware Runners. By sen­ that "while this may seem Jetson is getting his team was finned... The Hens will ding your dollars to the address below, you too can help feed, cold-blooded and unfair, the mentally prepared for next take a weekend off during clothe and shelter dozens of underprivileged Delaware cross number of tourists going to season by convincing the girls spring break to relax and country runners. Florida is increasing as peo- to ''pretend the schools of reload .. So, do it. Drop some change into any SDR box you see. Or mail a c9uple of dollars to: I Save Delaware Runners (SDR) Raven tabs Hen Sherman asnewQB B-1 Student Center By Mama Leone for the Hobo Midgets. the country, but has settled on If everything goes right, your dollar willl help feed a starv­ "Holy cow!" said new "My size doesn't mean a Delaware. ing runner tonight. Thanks for your cooperation. Delaware football Coach thing," said Sherman, who "Raven really took me L------,--' Raven Raymond when he set can bench press a gaudy 450 under his wing," said Sher- his eyes on prize recruit Hen feathers. "I can heave the man. "He made me believe I Sherman. football two feet and will was the best player he ever "Heeze the most awesome challenge anyone to a throw­ saw." )) speciman I ever did set mine ing contest. Sherman's statistics with CERTIFIED SCUBA eyes on," said Raven in his "When I grew up all those the Midgets are ~pressive. )) typical southern drool. "I big guys thought they could He holds the record for most INSTRUCTIONS CLASSES knows that he can step in pick on me," said Sherman, a interceptions in a season, 34 )) rights now and helps us." black belt in sports informa­ in 11 games; most fumbles in START APRIL 12 Sherman, who stands 4 - 2 tion. "Well I showed them. I a season, 22; and has been and weights 75 lbs, hails from put four of them in hospital sacked 54 times which is a na­ n FOR INFORMATION CONTACT the baron land of Minnesota. beds." tional record. ) He has received numerous Getting back to his football "Hen is just the tipe of 1 FIRST STATE SPORTS AT 998-6357 accolades the past two years ability, Sherman believes he ballplayer we needs," said while starring at quarterback could start for any school in ) Continued to page 14} ----- PICK'EM UP! You can get extra copies of the 1981-82 Student Directory in the RSA office (Rm 211 Student Center) vvhile supply lasts. • LIMITED SUPPLY •

Review Photo by BJonde Bogies BARK CARLSON (40) AND HEAVEN PHELAN do the new Raven FIRST COME • FIRST SERVE behavin dance which will be done after every Hen seed break . next fall. · Page 14 • THE REVIEW • April2, 1982

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DELAWARE'S ANNE COOKING readies for a mighty chop to the he.ad as Koren Snout (left) looks on. · ... Sherman new QB recriut (Continued from POQe 13) "Up there (Minnesota) the Raven. "I knows when it girls are really bland, but I've comes down to the nitty grid­ heard Delaware has the top dy, he will produce fors us. notch girls in the country," Heeze has that uncanny in­ said Sherman. "I just hope I stinct." can find one that will suit my Sherman doesn't just want needs. to come to Delaware because "I know my experience at of his football skills, but also Delaware will be great in to become acquainted with every capacity. Maybe I can the many fine Delaware hitch a ride from Raven and beauties. fly there a little early."

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I

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Review Photo by Clifton Leigh we can MEADOWLARK LIME AND CURLY SQUEAL (RIGHT}were signee change things. yesterday by the Delaware basketball team as the top recruits for the 82-83 season . •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 1------• • FREE DELIVERY ! Park Deli \ : PARK DELI : lnCityofNewark I 25¢ Off Coupon l •e 259 ELKTON ROAD Sun. thru Wed . 9 a.m .- 12 p.m. •e -Outside City Limits -$.75 I , Good Friday3, 26- Thurs. 4/ 1 1 e NEWARK, DEL Thurs. thru Sat. 9 a.m .-1 a.m . e Del. 5:30p.m. :- 1 • 368-0149 • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • Catering for all Occasions 1 I I I *Stock Up.~. L------• ,---STEAKS--- , SUBS Refreshing sodas, / ""' subs and snacks. Small Large Plain Small Large "Wrapped 'specially" 2.15 2.75 to go! . Cheese 2.30 2.95 Regular 2.05 2.65 Pizza 2.45 3.15 ~ Cheese 2.05 2.55 Tomato or Lettuce- 25c Italian 2.50 3.10 extra Special '2.40 3.00 Extras: Turkey 2.80 3.40 , PIZZA' Tuna 2.45 2.95 American "" Cheese 3.95 Mushroom 5.00 Ham 2.45 3.25 Cheese Sl. Onion or X-tra Cheese .50 Chicken Salad- 2.65 3.15 Green Pepper 4.25 1- X-Topping .75 (Homemade) -10¢ Sausage 4.95 2- X-Topping 1.50 Roast Beef . 2.95 3.60 Provolone Pepperoni 4.85 3- X-Topping 2.25 ' Meatball 4.85 3.95 ~ Shrimp or Swiss Bacon 2.95 ,__..--SANDWICHES~ Hamburger 3.15 -15¢ ~lb. Meat Ham & Swiss 2.00 Cheese Burger 2.45 3.30 No charge for Lettuce & Tomato Liverwurst Mushroom 1.25 Meatball - 2.95 Bologna 1.35 Roast Beef 2.00 -65¢ Cheese 1.20 Salami & Cheese 1.80 Corned Beef 1.95 Tuna ' 1.50 Grinders .25 cents Extra Egg Salad 1.15 Turkey 1.90 Ham & Cheese 1.85 Chicken Salad 1.90 Page 16 • THE REVIEW • April2, 1982 Raven replaces Flabby as Hens'football coach Green bird to chang~- entire program

By Cold Nuggets "Third, when the referees make a bad call, we are going to stick our tongues out and jump In a move expected from the beginning of on our motor bikes and ride away doing his hatching, Raven Raymond was named to wheelies." · replace his father, Flabby, as the Delaware Flabby was pleased the job stayed in the football team's head coach. family, "I'm so glad that I think I'll put on one Athletic director Full Nelson announced the of those suits and run around like Raven - it post Wednesday in a press conference at the looks like fun," he said. Delaware Institute for Bird Conservation. "I'm happy that Raven has decided to stay "I think Raven is perfect for the job," said in the nest. Maybe my boy will even write a Nelson. "Did you ever see him run around the book about birds... er... football like I did." bases, knocking all those workers down dur­ The reaction around the campus was mixed. ing the fifth inning of Phillies games? He'll One guy said Raven was a no good clown and teach us the right way to play the game.'' should fly away. Another one said, "I'll never Raven had big plans for the football pro­ go to another Phillies game again, that fool gram: was the best part." "First of all," said the big idiotic looking · To celebrate the announcement, the Wilm­ creature, "we are changing the team's name ington Snooze-Journal will send birdseed to to the Green Hens, for obvious reasons. · anyone who wants it. "Second, we're all going to get dressed up in Raven said that he would retain three Hen green uniforms like mine instead of those coaches, Bill Paully, Ed Mail le Letter and dumb-looking pads and helmets they've been Steve Rabbit. He added that Flabby would be masquerading in. the new cheerleader head.

I Cross country team needs bucks By Olive Paul lunch, I went straight to the "You think I'm paying my I source; Boog Powell, coach guys off?" Amidst the hubbub sur- of the Delaware harriers. I " It was just a rumor. I only rounding Digger Pl:!elps' ac- didn't know' what the camedowntocheckitout." cusation that college athletes nickname stood for but I sure Powell still said nothing. He are being paid for their ser- knew what it ' me ant . just opened his door, whisH- vices, a high, reputedly Awesome. Fast. But was the ed, and said, "Exhibit reliab~e source from t~e Delaware track dynasty build number one." . athlet!c department has tip- on a foundation of corrup- An extremely emaciated ped the Review off that the tion? I was going to try my figure in droopy nylon shorts Delaware cross country is be- best to find out. and tattered Adidas stepped ing paid to run. "Coach," I stammered, out of Powell's closet. Perhaps this would be a " do you pay your guys to "Now, does it look like he's good story, I thought. Maybe run?" paid to run?" Powell asked we can even scoop the AP. There. It was out. I stood sternly. Wouldn't Nick be proud? there shaking and waited for I just shook my head in I went down to the his reaction. disbelief. The guy looked like ~ Fieldhouse to investigate. He said nothing. I was he hadn't been fed in weeks. Finding athesports director about to rush out when he "This is Fat Gayhand," Half Nelson perpetually out to started to speak. (Continued to pogol3) Review Photo by Woody Woodpecker RAVEN RAYMOND WILL BE· moving to Delaware Stadium this year as the new football coach, replacing his dad, Flabby. Duck still flying around Fieldhouse on way to dunk Delaware basketball star Ken Duck has been flying around the Fieldhouse for three weeks after going up for a dunk in a game versus Lehigh. Apparently, the 6-3 Duck took off from the foul line with five seconds left in a 57-57 game for a game-winning dunk. Referee Black Stripe said the game is still going on this very second, and that they'll wait for the high-flying Duck to come down. "He's such a leaper that I don't know whether he'll ever come down," said Hen Coach Ron Snowy. "But sooner or later the refs are g()ing to get a crick in their necks waiting for him to come down and forfeit the game to Lehigh. Quacking from the ceiling, Duck said, "You wouldn't believe the view from up here. And as long as I stay up here, we can't lose. That's the big news." · Snorts Calendar YESTERDAY-ice bookie, at Mars, 13 p.m., Water polo, at White Clay Creek, 5 a.m. NEXT YEAR-foosball, in Flabby Raymond's basement, all day long. Kickball, at Wework. Elemenetary School during recess. Women's Review Photo by PolarOid HIGH-FlYER KEN DUCK SOARS THROUGH THE Fieldhouse during the still continuous Delaware mud wrestling, in Delaware's sports information oHice, men's basketball team's game versus Lehigh. allyearlong. -- ·-