A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings Through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings Erika Buckley Grand Valley State University

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McNair Scholars Journal

Volume 10 | Issue 1 Article 3

2006 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings Erika Buckley Grand Valley State University

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Recommended Citation Buckley, Erika (2006) "A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings," McNair Scholars Journal: Vol. 10: Iss. 1, Article 3. Available at: http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/mcnair/vol10/iss1/3

Copyright © 2006 by the authors. McNair Scholars Journal is reproduced electronically by ScholarWorks@GVSU. http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/ mcnair?utm_source=scholarworks.gvsu.edu%2Fmcnair%2Fvol10%2Fiss1%2F3&utm_medium=PDF&utm_campaign=PDFCoverPages A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings

Introduction examination to Judeo/Christian practices The wedding is one of the only rituals or and ceremonial components that were events that many cultures of the world popularized prior to the 19th century consistently have in common. Weddings and have continued to the present day, are found in almost every society. A particularly within the white middle wedding can feed consumer appetites class. The Indian wedding rituals will and the industry that supports it. Costs be analyzed using the Vedic ceremony for the average United States wedding (i.e., those rituals most commonly can range from $26,000 to $35,530 or associated with the Hindu or Buddhist more (“Cost of Weddings” 2006). The practices) commonly found in the costs of Indian wedding ceremonies higher caste systems. vary from $34,000 up to $2 million Previous research in this area has been (Das 2005). Despite this large range the limited in its analysis of Indian wedding Indian wedding industry averages only rituals (Kolenda, 1984). Similarly, there $11billion annually while its American have been only a few examinations counterpart is a whopping $50 billion of pre-wedding preparations or post- each year (“Cost of Weddings” 2006, wedding preparations for American Das 2005). Remarriages constitute weddings in regards to work (Sniezek, 30% of the American wedding 2005). There are a small number of Erika Buckley industry (Ingram 1999) while in India, sociological analyses of the American McNair Scholar remarriage is relatively uncommon. wedding and their rituals in recent Given the amount of money spent decades (Chesler, 1980; Ingram, 1999; on this cultural ritual, it is reasonable Wallace 2004). Most studies have to assert that it carries a great deal limited their research to romance and of personal, cultural, and social marriage ideals (Coontz, 2005). Few significance. I’m going to contrast and studies have been performed cross- compare Indian and American weddings culturally about the execution of the through an examination of film. wedding ceremony itself (Dunes, This study is similar to Best’s (2000) 1996; Kolenda, 1984). Some similar study of American proms, another studies have been performed, however, related cultural tradition. Specifically analyzing related rituals and other rites I will examine portrayals of wedding of passage such as American proms and ceremonies as presented by both debutante balls (Best, 2000). Proms and Hollywood and Bollywood films. their counterparts can hold many clues I will be analyzing the components to the significance of the components of the wedding ritual as well as embedded in the wedding. analyzing the material and cultural The present study explains the interpretations of marriage ceremonies. involvement of families and community Perspectives vary by differing roles; as they relate to negotiations between there are commonalities and differences public and private displays and in values. I hope to elucidate what this interactions in an explanation of event means for those anticipating and this ritualized event. This study will engaging in the wedding ceremony. differentiate between rituals allocated It is important to look at these rituals by religious requirements and those as they pertain to the popular culture that have developed due to capital Jennifer Stewart, Ph.D. in the United States as well as in India. displays and class structures. These Faculty Mentor While wedding ceremonies in the topics are analyzed through a qualitative U.S. can vary dramatically, this study examination of American and Indian will be restricted to the ideal “white ritual components within media wedding”. Therefore, I will also limit my depictions of weddings.

GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 13 This research addresses the following which can be understood only in the disparity in effort concerns two- questions. First, what are the rituals terms of the ideas, beliefs, attitudes, thirds of the responsibilities attached that are embedded in the marriage and values, i.e., the ideological to planning a wedding or engaging ceremony? Are wedding rituals in more frameworks, which render them in house work (Sniezek, 2005). It is modern societies drastically different meaningful. The movements, uncertain whether this outcome is from those in more traditional societies gestures, instruments, times, places, found among Indian couples. or are there commonalities? Second, and words that constitute these While interest in U.S. weddings is how are we socialized into these rituals rituals are expressions (signs and growing, theories have barely begun and how do participants come to symbols) of other aspects of society. to form in regards to the Indian Vedic understand their roles in these events? wedding. These wedding rituals have Finally, what are the cultural and social Proms, another U.S. ritual, can be barely altered through centuries and meanings of these weddings? seen as precursors to weddings (Best, may hold many answers for not only 2000). Parents prod girls to perfect Indian society but North American Background themselves, planning for months society as well. Studies that have A ritual is defined as a: at a time for this single night. Boys analyzed specific Indian societies have Set of prescribed behaviors… ‘It are socialized to be less invested in included weddings as part of their study is generally agreed that ritual is proms. Their main concern usually because it is an important component particularly endemic in situations is directed toward payment of the of most cultures (Kolenda, 1984). More of change at those times of an night’s events, making arrangements current research needs to be done across individual, group, or society when for transportation and expenses related time and place so a better understanding there is the greatest uncertainty to post-prom activities (Best, 2000), of social expectations and meanings can and when people have difficulty in though the division of payment has be attained. expressing their ideas and feelings altered slightly over the years. In order to identify properly the two in a more direct way. In fact, ritual With respect to weddings, historically groups’ rituals and separate them into is dynamic and creative, because it women’s families pay for the necessities categories, I borrowed from Max Weber. allows people to handle situations of the event (Wallace, 2004). Changes By following Max Weber’s “ideal type,” that are otherwise troubling and in the economy have forced couples I constructed an ideal type of wedding disruptive. Ritual not only brings to start sharing the cost of weddings to represent the average Indian and order out of chaos, but relieves (Ingram, 1999) and, recently, girls American wedding ceremony. This people’s fears about their personal have increasingly been paying for their construction facilitates cross-cultural and collective futures (Gills in portion of expenses related to proms comparisons. For the Indian wedding, Wallace, 2004 p.3-4). (Best, 2000). The view of gender roles the ideal type took the form of the can vary slightly across racial and ethnic Vedic Ceremony (for full descriptions According to Rappaport, 2002: categories but the mainstream view of see Appendix I). For the North Ritual as a structure that is a more proms and weddings in North American American wedding, the ideal type was or less enduring set of relations culture is very constant. the Judeo-Christian “white wedding” among a number of general but While much of the research in the (for full descriptions see Appendix I). variable features. As a form or arena of weddings ultimately is studying To further examine different cultural structure it possesses certain logical marriage (Coontz, 2005), there are a practices and their importance in the properties, but its properties are few studies of both Indian and North ritual, I have examined movies and not only logical. In as much as American wedding rituals. Emphasis text and broken the rituals into five performance is one of its general has been placed on the division of categories: gender, wealth, kinship, features, it possesses the properties labor and gender roles within North superstition, and fertility. of practice as well. In ritual, logic American society. Studies have shown becomes enacted and embodied-is that women disproportionately do Gender realized-in unique ways. more work for the wedding, home, and Ingram (1999) alludes to the concept However, according to Berardo and what has been frequently referred to as that by American females being so Vera, 1981: “kin work” (Sniezek, 2005). Women heavily involved in the construction and Rituals and ceremonies form a part in addition often do not perceive this ideology of the perfect “white wedding” of the institutional arrangements as an unfair division of work until from early ages, the male’s exclusion

14 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings from the world of the wedding at a to not fuss and ultimately let the women as exchanging the rings and lighting similar time by default expresses a need handle everything. He is just there to candles are performed together, they to do other “more important” tasks. The pay. Even after he has a slight nervous were not necessarily prepared together. white middle class female is socialized breakdown because of his feelings of In the Indian ceremony the rituals may and marketed to by means of toys, lack of control in “his own” daughter’s be performed together or with another movies, games, and parents in hopes wedding, he still succumbs to the family member, and their preparation that in the future the female will be a tradition that “women rule” the wedding was performed by family, bride, groom, primary player in capital consumption and he pays for what they want. or both together. particularly in regards to the wedding The exclusion of males in wedding The Indian wedding is not without its industry. Males and most minority ritual preparations gives the impression gendered rituals however. Madhuparka groups, however, are not seen as such that 1) the male has more important Vidhi is a ritual in which the mother- a viable interest, and are not as heavily things to be doing with his time that in-law washes the feet of her new included in the marketing strategies are not wedding related (Ingram 1999), son-in-law that shows a change in the (Ingram 1999). The lack of visibility and 2) the wedding is not the male’s respect hierarchy from mother in law to and exclusion in the wedding industry domain. A problem arises with modern her new son in law. There are also still sets the stage for future gender division American weddings due to the desire rituals such as giving the bride away of responsibilities where most often the of the bride to involve the groom in where the bride is still in essence a form male has few tasks. the preparations, even though he has of property. This ritual is cross cultural Much of the consumerism, exclusion been socialized for decades not to and similar gender roles are exhibited of males, and changes in ritual that participate. Often the male does not and actions performed. In both societies currently exist in the U.S.A. began to want involvement in those activities, as women are considered the property of form during the country’s transitional shown in the rhetoric used to describe her parents, her father in particular. That phase from the last half of the 19th the to-do-list for the groom. Wedding ownership was passed off to the groom century towards the beginning of the manuals include instructions for men and his family through the ritual of the 20th century, according to Wallace to “Endure the gift registry process wedding. In the American ceremony (2004). The bride’s family had always with fiancé,” implying a burden or a this can be understood by the officiator performed such tasks as making the sentiment that they are just there while asking “Who gives this woman away.” In cake, housing the wedding, making things are being performed around the context of the Indian wedding, the the dress, creating a good trousseau, them. While modern additions to these concept of a dowry is often still in effect. and attaining flowers. The male’s duties preparations are trying to include the The dowry is a way for the bride’s family included making sure he had a home groom in the decision making process to help pay for her new expenses that to bring his new bride to and finances (Delaney 2005), he may just be more she will incur while in her new family. enough to keep her. As consumer content including himself as a financial culture began to popularize in the late contributor similar to males in the Wealth 1800’s to early 1900’s traditionally home prom ritual. Several ritual components in the created rituals began to be paid for and When comparing each culture’s bride wedding ceremony pertain to wealth contracted outside of the home. The and groom to-do-lists there are some across both cultures. One such example bride’s family often covered the cost of key differences in the allocation and is jewelry. Only families whose incomes the wedding excluding the groom’s tux, language used to describe everyone’s can afford jewelry have it. In the Indian the rings, and the honeymoon because duties. In the Indian tradition the wedding, jewelry is considered to be families did not want the groom to have groom and bride have almost an equal very important, especially bangles. They certain expectations of reaping “gifts” amount of preparations to perform. are almost comparable to the diamond early if he did contribute to the wedding The vocabulary used to describe the engagement ring in American society. (Wallace, 2004). Women after that time execution of such tasks evokes a need Indian families in higher castes are more often carried the burden and pride to work together because it is practice likely to have an engagement ceremony, of creating their “white weddings.” A for the future. In comparison the duties where rings may be exchanged. That prime example of the domination of the given to the bride in American weddings shows the differences in wealth between wedding by the female members of the drastically out weighs those listed for classes. While In American society caste family is shown in Father of the Bride. the groom. While in the American systems do not exist, class systems do. Multiple times George (the father) is told wedding, many of the rituals such There is a clear difference between

GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 15 North American upper and middle worn multiple times. Brides wanted fulfilling the American dream, or are classes. While the middle class attempt dresses to be durable and darker so ruining their daughter’s if they don’t to make it appear as if there is no they showed less stains when they spend all they can. In response middle difference between their lifestyles and were worn multiple times. Even in class couples and families keep spending that of the wealthy and famous, a price WWII some women were still wearing their imaginary wealth. must be paid for lavishness. In Madea’s colored dresses that they planned to While their Indian counterparts spend Family Reunion the mother of the bride wear multiple times. The white wedding only what they have saved and can afford, is in essence selling her daughter to dress had began to run parallel to the Indian families, rich and poor, are also a man that abuses her, just to attain dark dress around the late 1800’s after still keeping in mind dowries. In Indian money. She has to be viewed as wealthy Queen Victoria’s wedding. The 1900’s society a family saves up money from and the biggest show for her is her sparked entrance of the white dress their daughter’s birth for the wedding. The daughter’s wedding, which she proceeds into mainstream society. Around the family understands that they will probably to spare no expense even though her 1960’s and 1970’s the white dress being still have to pay for a dowry, which will funds are limited. This makes the worn only once grew in popularity be used to sustain the daughter in her wedding less about the couple and more and became an institution in North new home. The wedding and dowry are about the appearance of attainment American weddings (Wallace, 2004). in Indian culture less an expression of of the American dream. The “dream Only with wealth, or the concept of wealth but a manner in which Indian wedding” is the announcement. having wealth, can a person wear an families can celebrate their children and For middle class North Americans, article of clothing, which cost them “thank” the other family for taking their weddings can create and often include several hundreds or thoU.S.A.nds of unmarried daughter off of their hands. some debt. Much of that debt they will dollars, for one day and then have it sit They may on average spend more on the incur heavily because of the cost of in storage or give it away. wedding, but it is all inclusive to not only the “dream wedding” they really can This wealth in many senses isn’t their daughter’s wedding but her life after. not afford. The average middle class real wealth for the average North Here the underlying gender valuing in American bride’s family can not usually American family; it is just the illusion India is more important than the over all afford to pay for the wedding alone of wealth. Wealth is the total value of perception of a wealth display. either. The recent change in the societal the accumulated assets owned by an norms and economic construction of individual, household, community, Kinship society has caused grooms to begin or country (Deandroff, 2001). In the In the American wedding, there to help pay for the wedding without late 1800’s to1900’s the emergence are a few rituals that involve family it being construed as a ploy to attain of wedding debt began to appear, as members. Those same rituals also reflect specific “services” early. Two incomes are consumerism grew and North America the absence of familial involvement necessary for basic home living and with women wanted to be able to feel like later on in the marriage and the lack of the average cost of a wedding causing a queen or socialite on “their” one day. responsibility and importance placed families to incur debt, males have begun Women at the time were still encouraged upon family in mainstream North to contribute. Even though couples are to keep their weddings realistic and American culture. This may explain why beginning to pay for weddings jointly, in range of their real income (Wallace, so many wedding rituals do not include the cost is still disproportionately felt by 2004). That hasn’t kept brides and the family of either bride or groom. One the female who still earns less than the grooms from spending. In Father of the such exception to the rule may be the male, debt is still being incurred. Bride, George is constantly checking giving away of the bride. This is a ritual One of the most important and most the numbers about the cost of the less about kinship than about ownership. expensive rituals in the wedding is wedding. He is continuously having The question of “Who gives this bride the wearing of a white wedding dress. emotional breakdowns because they are away” is in actuality saying “Who owns This dress usually is only worn by the so high. He even pitches the idea of a the bride now?”, thus giving gender purchaser once. The white dress has home wedding to his wife and daughter dominance to the males in her life. First deviated from its predecessor the dark because the cost is so high. The North the father of the bride has ownership colored wedding dress, and it became American wedding industry has made over the young woman and during the the descendant of the pastel wedding couples and their families feel almost wedding ceremony the father-in-law dress. Up until the mid 1800’s to 1900’s pressured to have the dream “white passes his possession and dominance to wedding dresses were still made to be wedding” (Ingram, 1999).They are not the bride’s groom. “The father owned his

16 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings daughter until he had chosen a worthy her husband’s parents. To that measure, Ki Shaadi Hai, the bride’s family and marriage partner to ‘give’ her to (Seligson, they are as close as distance allows. Often groom’s family check with each other to 1973)” (Chesser 1980). those very in-laws are not living in the make sure specific parts of the wedding In the giving away of the bride in home of the new bride and groom. For are being taken care of, showing open Indian culture the bride is, in essence, many North Americans, in post 1960’s, communication and trust that has considered property. A clear example of the opposite might have been the case, developed between the two families. this is in the movie Hum Dil de Chuke but with the popularization of retirement Sanam where the female is compared homes the live-in parent has moved out. Superstition to a kite. The ground is her family The individualistic concept not commonly Superstition is the largest category and the sky her future husband. The found in Indian culture was deemed of all of the ritual categories. This bride is sent into the sky with a string. normal in North American culture. North is due to the fact that most of the That string could be said to be the American cultural norms, rarely include rituals that may have fallen under any wedding. She will forever be connected family, much less extended family. other category usually also fall under to the family, but she now belongs In Indian culture, wedding superstition. All of the fertility rituals to the sky. Her connection should responsibilities are more likely to fall under superstition. The mere never be cut. If some how it is, it is a be shared by both families and even presence of things such as children tragedy. Within the Indian rituals of members of the community. Family and flowers around a person do not the wedding the family involvement involvement in almost every part of the normally invoke pregnancy or an easier is a pivotal part. The participation of wedding does not allow for as much ability to get pregnant, but for some family within numerous rituals expresses individual responsibility. This lack of reason that changes with its presence and are exhibited within the marriage individual responsibility helps avoid at a wedding. In both Chori Chori and after the wedding. These rituals may the occasional feeling of “ruining” The Wedding Planner there are scenes give insight in to the expectations of the wedding. Unlike North American where the superstition of the groom family in the society. These rituals weddings where a wedding can be not seeing the bride before the wedding are present throughout the whole “ruined” by one person forgetting is mentioned. It is as if the wedding ceremony. The following rituals fall something duties are distributed ceremony itself is able to cast a spell under kinship type rituals: Kashi Yatra, amongst the guruji (several families, and over the rituals and symbols within Parchan , Varapreshanem, Kanyadaan their members). It is very difficult for it making them supernatural and (Kanya Dhanam), sapatapadi(seven one person to ruin an entire wedding powerful. That is the only way that a vows),Vaaku Nichaya Muhoortham, through carelessness. A prime example piece of cloth can protect a couple of Maangala Dharanam, Laaja homam, is the keeping of the rings. It is such a people from an evil eye or evil sprits. Ashirvadam, Vadhupravesh. They aren’t social taboo and constant occurrence It is also almost as if the wedding itself just symbolic. The bride often is moving that many American media depictions invites such calamities. Why did the literally into the home of her new of the wedding include this faux pas. evil spirits appear? Why will bad things husband with his whole family: father, In Indian representations of similar just happen to you if you do not have mother, grandmother, and possibly events this lack of attention does not these symbolic things on this particular aunts and uncles. In the Movie Chori completely ruin the event because rituals date? Why would they not manifest Chori, The bride is nervous and crying often are not left up to one individual. on another day? What calls upon these about her wedding for many reasons. The wedding is a group project or ritual evil things to want to attack a bride and One is because she was an orphan and for the community. There are problems groom, and the need to have to ward has no biological family to help her with a ritual that could potentially “ruin” them off or trick them away from the perform any of the rituals. The presence an Indian wedding, but it would be on couple and the wedding? It is apparently of family for the enactment of the rituals a bigger scale. If by chance, someone the producer of things good and evil. is the key. It is very important when forgot the garlands for the bride and Does that say something about society’s her knew family tells her that she is groom’s saptapadi (seven vows) or if perceptions of the act in and of itself? now more apart of their family than the the sacred fire was not present, the Do we subconsciously believe that the groom, before the wedding even begins. wedding would not take place. Each of act is not sensible? In the Indian and In the view of mainstream North these rituals is not just performed by American ceremonies in the vows and American society the family inclusion bride’s family alone. The groom’s family the rituals, the couple has to fight off often is limited to her immediate in-laws, is also equally involved. In Mere Yaar bad situations in life and is told about

GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 17 the struggles they will endure together. being the most recognizable. Flowers Children are viewed more as an institution Are we secretly saying that these could be found in bridal garlands and a religious doctrine. They can not be struggles would not have manifested adorning the crowns of peasant brides conjured. had this ceremony not been “conjured (Chesser, 1980). They would appear on up,” or is it the fact that love has been the shoulders of WWII brides. Flowers Religion paired with marriage recently? would also appear in the form of the While religion may seem to take The ritual of the wedding historically orange blossom a favorite of brides in prominence in the “white wedding,” cross-culturally may have some clues. the U.S. from prior to the 1800’s to the it does not have the largest number Indian culture has a theme that 1940’s (Wallace, 2004). The orange of rituals dedicated to it. The Indian coincides with arranged marriages and blossom was believed to be a dual wedding has more rituals in it has for centuries: You marry first and increaser of fertility, because it bloomed dedicated to religious practices than the love comes later. (Cootz, 2005) This and bore fruit (Wallace 2004). In every American wedding. The Vedic rituals may have been a theme prior to the single American or Indian film flowers overall practice in the Indian wedding mid 1800’s in American society when appeared somewhere. In the movie Mere often come back to their religious marriages were often still arranged. Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai, the whole house beliefs because the wedding rituals (Wallace, 2004) It isn’t known for especially the mandap (canopy) was are viewed as a new contribution to sure, but couples were not likely to be covered in flowers that were decorated Hindu life. The unification of two instantly in love with each other. In by the bride’s family and friends. In people replicates activities performed many other scenarios they may have Wedding Crashers every wedding had by Hindu deities. The creation and met each other for the first time at their flowers on some wall or table. If not fostering of children is a sacrament and wedding or only a few days before. In they were at least on the cake. rite of passage, just like the wedding fact early Catholic married couples were The cake symbolized several things itself, under religious doctrine or encouraged not to be in love too much from breaking of bread (Wallace, 2004) dharma (duty). An example of such with each other. Catholic leaders were to fertility. Its forms have altered over beliefs is the practice of Kanayadan, comparing too much love for one’s wife time from heavy European fruit type of while it is the giving away of the to committing the act of idol worship cake to the light and fluffy American bride, it is also where the bride takes (Cootz, 2005) possibly because they style. (Wallace, 2004) It is often cut to upon the form of the goddess Laxmi. should not be loving any thing as much symbolize the breaking of the hymen The groom is supposed to be lord as God. This belief could be considered and hopeful production of children Narayan. It is the family’s greatest duty religious superstition of condemnation (Dunes, 1996). Fertility ritual in the and honor to give her away because from God upon your wedding if you Roman days was also in the form of a she is the figurative embodiment of a care too much for your future spouse. wheat cake that was offered to the god, goddess. Another example of religious Jupiter. In this ritual there was also often participation can be viewed in the film Fertility an alter boy, who ushers the inclusion Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, the couple can not “White wedding” ceremonies tend to of children in the wedding ceremony have their wedding until the auspicious have more rituals pertaining to fertility as vessels of fertility. The modern day time of their horoscopes line up exactly than the Vedic ceremony. While both American ring bearer and flower girl right, so the wedding is postponed. Indian and North American ceremonies could be said to be manifestations of an They can not get married until “God/ have flowers, the Indian weddings alter child. Children still carry sacred Gods” give them permission through physically speaks about children and ritualistic symbols up isles to alter or the horoscope. the parents duties to them and each the ritualistic places where weddings are In North American weddings people other, the American wedding, however, often held. are not often viewed as reenacting the has more symbolic showings of The Vedic ceremony revolved around actions of God or doing their religious reproduction. These portraits include future children. Children’s creation and duty in getting married. The closest the flower girl and the ring barer. Rituals actual childhood are considered at least thing to that is the Judeo/Christian of fertility include the cutting of the cake nine of the sixteen Hindu Samsakaras after belief that the marriage is a covenant with the male’s hand over the female’s the wedding. They are not so much hoped or agreement between the couple and hand. The flowers of the wedding are for, like they are in the “white wedding,” God. The priest could be the medium not to be excluded. All of these fall as they are expected. They are discussed by which this agreement is taking place. under the category of fertility, flowers in the saptapadi in one of the vows. In the “white wedding” ceremony it

18 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings does take place often in a temple or to be fertility rituals. This number equal in their valuing of both genders. church, which are considered religious of appearances is in comparison It could also be viewed that females are buildings. Other than the location and with the 73 times that the five North greatly valued in each culture and still the officiator presiding over the wedding American fertility rituals appeared in expected to fulfill different duties in there are few religious rituals that are the “white wedding” films. This gap in their roles determined by each culture. generalized across the North American presentation of fertility rituals shows Alternatively, both cultures could value wedding. These Judeo/ Christian rituals support for the contention that there is one gender group over the other to the may be enacted on an individual basis, a greater importance placed on fertility same degree, which shows that females but they are not as pervasive as the in North American films compared to are not valued highly in each culture Vedic religious rituals. In text and Indian films. to the same degree. However, they still media there were more rituals that In regards to the category of religion are expected to fulfill their different appeared under the religious context more religious rituals were identified for gendered responsibilities in each culture. Indian culture than in North American. the Indian culture than North American. Under the category of superstition the Most other categories out numbered The number of appearances of these number of identified rituals for North the religious category in appearances same religious practices in Table 4 American culture was twice that of counted in media. appeared in the Indian films more often Indian culture. The number of viewed than in North American films. There is rituals for North American culture didn’t Data and Methods a trend for the Indian media to project contradict the ratio or the fact that The ideal type weddings were created an image of the wedding as more of a the superstition may be valued more for proper identification of rituals within religious event than North American in American society. There is a slight the viewed films. The films were chosen films. While the North American correlation in the fact that the religious on the basis of popularity in each of weddings are often shown taking place rituals are low and the superstitious their cultures, amount of wedding in churches or synagogues, places rituals are high in North American preparation shown, and ceremony considered religious realms, the Indian culture. This may be due to the fact that showings. All of the seven America wedding gives more all around religious Indian culture is only recently starting to films were chosen from different practices in the wedding than North be viewed as an up and coming capitalist categories such as comedies, dramas, American weddings. society and still has many parts that and “family” or “feel good films”. The There is a stronger presence of the are considered sacred and traditional, seven Indian films were chosen from a concept of kinship for Indian weddings and has fewer superstitious rituals not range of Bollywood films as well. After than in the North American weddings related to religion. The high amount of selecting the films to be analyzed, I (see Tables 3 and 4, Appendix IV). In superstition in North American culture performed a content analysis counting Indian movies, kinship rituals appeared could also be related to the concept of specific component rituals for the over forty times while the North capitalism, education, and shifts in such number of times they appeared in the American movies emphasized kinship becoming “developed” societies where film. They were then categorized into rituals only sixteen times. This coincides popular cultural ideas related to religion, five categories: wealth, gender, fertility, with the previously stated concepts become symbols that eventually morph religion, and kinship (see Table 1 and about family and kinship being valued into superstitious practices. The religion Table 2, Appendix II and III). The higher in Indian culture, as shown is reduced in importance and replaced number of rituals in each category through the wedding practices and film. with other popular cultural norms, so was tallied (see Table 3, Appendix Under the category of gender, the the original connections are lost to the IV). The number of North American number of rituals for each cultural society. The new norms become more rituals is greater than the Indian rituals group was almost equal. The amount of prominent like the old religious practices. in the categories of gender, wealth, gendered rituals that appear in North Rituals categorized as associated superstition, and fertility. Conversely, American film only slightly outweighed with wealth were also higher in North kinship and religious rituals were more the number of gendered wedding American culture than in Indian culture. common in the construction of Indian rituals viewed in the Indian media. It is The amount of times wealth rituals wedding rituals. possible that the degree of importance were observed in North American Fertility rituals in the Indian films placed on gender roles is equal in each wedding movies was high as well. One appeared fifteen times in total for culture. Another interpretation could might attribute this to the capitalistic the two wedding rituals considered be that that both cultures are almost nature of not only the North American

GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 19 wedding industry but the society as rituals in more modern societies has become an example of American a whole, a prime example of how the drastically different from those in consumer culture after humble beginnings media uses the wedding to sell ideas more traditional societies or are there prior to the late 1800’s as a small family for other things in American society. commonalities?” The ideal American community organized event. Indian As previously discussed weddings are wedding and Indian wedding rituals weddings are still community organized used for multiple purposes in North were divided into five major categories and executed events. They tend to focus American society. In Indian culture and are described in the charts on pages on the couple within the community that wealth rituals were the second highest 24-28. There are similarities in their united them. While Indian weddings observed set of rituals of the wedding. societal values related to gender and may not be small in size or price, their This could be correlated with their rise religion as based on the rituals, while the underlying values have not changed in the capitalistic market, or strictly an other categories such as fertility, wealth, greatly over the centuries. event where unlike anything else, Indian superstition and kinship show clear Future research may include attending families want to put their best foot differing social values. Some differences weddings and interviewing married forward. The high display of wealth may and similarities were expected and or engaged couples regarding their be both the North American and Indian others were not. weddings. cultures’ ways of giving their children In analyzing the second question, Wedding rituals may appear to be just that one fairy tale when the majority of “How are we socialized into these physical manifestations but through my both cultures cannot actually afford it. rituals and how do participants come to data and textual research, it is apparent The question is, while it is known that understand their roles in these events?” that the rituals seem to be based on most North American families are going It was found that, due to historical ideas, attitudes, beliefs, and values. New into debt to pay for their “dream white presentations of gender roles, some of rituals and traditions appear every year weddings” (Ingram, 1999), are Indian the socialization processes helped give in all cultures because of globalization. families doing the same or saving up to insight to the development of these The wedding as well is evolving. New pay for the wedding? rituals and their significance. Through trends are becoming rituals through the media and commercialization of the popularization (Berardo, 1981). The Conclusion wedding, the “white wedding” became more they are practiced and performed This research attempted to set an seen as the female domain, while the more the rituals say about the example for future research about males were socialized into thinking the evolving cultures which produce them. cross-cultural wedding studies. wedding was not a male domain. In response to the first questions, Finally, it was asked “What are the “What are the rituals that are embedded cultural and social meanings of these in the marriage ceremony? Are wedding weddings?” The “white wedding”

20 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings References Anu and Jason. “Hindu Engagement/ Civil Wedding Ceremony”. Retrieved on line May, 15, 2006 from http://home.austin.rr.com/anuandjason/hindu1.htm Abrams, P. Levy, R. L. Panay, A. & Dobkin, D. (2005). Wedding Crashers [Motion picture]. United States: New Line Cinema. Baum, C. Shyer, C. (1991).Father of the Bride [Motion picture]. United States: Touchstone Pictures. Bender, C. Spink, J.C. Weinstein, P. & Luketic, R. (2005). Monster-In-Law [Motion picture]. United States: New Line Cinema. Berardo, F. M., Vera, H. (1981). The Groomal Shower: A Variation of the American Bridal Shower. Family Relations, 30(3),395-401. Best, A. (2000). Prom Night: Youth, Schools, and Popular Culture. London: Routledge. Bhansali, S. L. ( 1999). Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam [Motion picture]. India: Bhansali Productions. Chesser, B. J. (1980). Analysis of Wedding Rituals: An Attempt to Make Weddings More Meaningful. Family Relations, 29(2). Chopra, A. Chopra, U, Chopra, P. Chopra, Y. Vakil M. & Kohli, K. (2002). Mujhse Dosti Karogi [Motion picture]. India: Yash Raj Films. Chopra, Y. & Chopra, A. & Kohli, S. A., K. (2004). Hum Tum [Motion picture]. India: Yash Raj Films. Chopra, Y. Gadhvi, S. (2002). Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai [Motion picture]. India: Yash Raj Films. Coontz, S. (2005) Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage. New York: Penguin Books. “Cost of Weddings”. (2006). Retrieved on line March, 9, 2006 from http://www.costofweddings.com/?gclid=CMvb302x0oMCFTBjJAodSRe_7Q Das, Anupreeta. (2005). “Middle-class India Plows New Wealth into Big Weddings”. Christian Science Monitor, Retrieved March, 9, 2006 from http://www. csmonitor.com/2005/0929/p01s04-wosc.html Deardorff, A. V. (2000- 2001). Deardorff’s Glossary of International Economics. Retrieved on line Aug, 20, 2006 from http://www-personal.umich. edu/~alandear/glossary/w.html Delaney, D. M. (2005). The New American Wedding:Ritual and Stlye in a Changing Culture. New York: Penguin Group. Dowd, J. J., Pallotta, N. R. (2000). The end of Romance: The Demystification of Love in the Post Modern Age. Sociological Perspectives, 43(4), 549-580. Dundes, A. (1996). Jumping the Broom: On the Origin and Meaning of an African American Wedding Custom. The Journal of American Foklore,109( 433), 324-329. Ellis, M. Shankman, A. (2001). The Wedding Planner [Motion picture]. United States: Columbia Pictures Corporation. Goetzman, G. Hanks, T. Wilson, R. & Zwick, J. (2002). My Big Fat Greek Wedding [Motion picture]. United States: Warner Bros. Ingram, C. (1990). White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture. London: Routledge. Johar, Y. Johar, K. (1998). Kuch Kuch Hota Hai [Motion picture]. India: Yash Raj Films. Kapoor, L. Narula, R. & Luthria, M. (2003).Chori Chori [Motion picture]. India: Om Shakti Combines. Kolenda, P. (1984). “Women as Tribute, Women as Flower: Images of Women in Weddings in North and South India”. American Ethnologist, Vol. 11, No 1. Kumar, K.G. (1999-2003). “South Indian Wedding”. Retrieved on line May, 15, 2006 from http://www.sanathanadharma.com/wedding.htm Lluch, E. Lluch A. (2004). Easy Wedding Planner: Organizer and Keepsake. San Fransico: Wedding Solutions Publishing. Paseornek, M. Block, & P. Perry, T. (2006). Madea’s Family Reunion [Motion picture]. United States: Lionsgate. Rappaport, R. A. (2002). The Ritual and Religion in the Making of Humanity. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Rizvi, N .H. & Burmawalla, A. Burmawalla, M. (2001). Chori Chori Chupke Chupke [Motion picture]. India: Universal. Sniezek, T. (2005). “Is It Our Day or The Bride’s Day? The Division of Wedding Labor and Its Meaning for Couples”. Qualitative Sociology, 28 (3), Fall 2005. Walker, L. (2000). “Feminist in Bride Land”. Tulsa Studies in Women’s Literature. Vol.19, No.2 pp.219-230. Seal, Manisha. ( 2001-2006). “The Hindu Wedding Ceremony”. Redhotcurry Limited. Retrieved on Line May, 15, 2006 from http://www.redhotcurry.com/ culture/hindu_wedding.htm Sippy, R. Sippy, R. (2003). Kuch Naa Kaho [Motion picture]. India: Eros Entertainment. Tenenbaum, N. Rosenthal, J. De Niro, R. & Roach, J. (2000). Meet the Parents [Motion picture]. United States: Universal Studios.

GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 21 Appendix I deemed one of the most important rituals includes bride’s maids and groom’s men, Vedic ceremony in the wedding besides saptapadi(seven the mother of the bride, flower girl, ring The rituals should last about three to vows). Mangalfera takes place next, barer, and father of the bride. The father four days. There are witnesses in all the where the bride and groom encircle the of the bride escorts the bride down parts of the wedding often family, friends, fire with hands joined. Vaaku Nichaya the isle that is lined with flowers. The and community members that may Muhoortham is performed when the two bride wears a white dress, a veil, and have helped either unite, introduced the fathers face each other and mantras are many articles of jewelry including her couple, or that prepared the wedding. chanted. Next the groom and his sister diamond engagement ring. The father The Vedic ceremony begins with an tie a mangala sutra (sacred rope) around hands her to the groom after which the engagement ceremony on the first night the bride which is called Maangala officiator asks “Who gives this woman of the wedding. The bride and groom Dharanam. In the most important act to be married?” The father responds exchange rings. The night continues of Saptapadi, the bride and groom take “I do.” There will be brief speech by with blessings from their families and seven steps around the sacred fire (Agni) the officiator of the wedding, and then friends and music with dancing. There tied to each other. While taking those there will be the exchange of rings and are flowers on the blessing plates, the seven steps seven vows are recited by vows. There is the call for any objections walls and tables of the bride and groom’s bride and groom towards the end of from the attendees. The officiator will homes, and on the mandap, which is the wedding. Panigrahan is where the pronounce them husband and wife. usually in the bride’s home, for all the groom takes the bride’s hand in his as his They will receive permission for the kiss, events. The bride is wearing traditional new wife. Next in Dhruvadarshan the and then perform the act. Then there garb during these rituals such as wedding couple looks at the pole star together. will be the recessional that is lead by the bangles, a bindi, a red sari, veil, necklaces Laaja homam is where the brother of the bride and groom, in the opposite order and even a nose ring that may extend bride and her husband help her feed the from how they entered the site. There is by a chain to her ear. The groom wears sacrificial fire in the ceremony. Finally, in a reception shortly following the initial a sherwani, which usually is cream, tan Ashirvadam, the bride and groom receive ceremony, where there will be tables or white. Next Ganesh poojan can be blessings from their parents, the guruji, decorated with flowers. There will be performed where obstacles are believed to and elderly members of their families. a dance floor and a head table for the be removed for the couple in their home That concludes the main wedding wedding party facing the guests. The by invoking lord Ganesh. Following that ceremony. Bidai is the exiting of the reception takes place in a wedding venue Mandaparohana, where the place of the bride and groom to the groom’s home. where dinner will be catered. There will wedding is established, is performed. The bride and groom exit in a carriage be the occasional pause for a speech, Also a Kashi Yatra (barat) happens, or car that has been tested for safety. The during the dinner from the maid of honor where the groom is in a parade, and he wedding party leaves the bride’s home and the best man. The food and dancing is “convinced” to come to the married and travels to the home of the groom and will continue, only for a short while, life by the bride’s family. The groom is his family. Vadhupravesh is the ritual of until the cutting of the cake by the bride greeted and escorted (Vara Yatra) by them welcoming the bride and groom by his and groom. The groom’s hand should be to the wedding spot in their home. Then family into the home of the groom and placed on top of the bride’s during the Parchan takes place, where the mother his family by another party. actual penetration of the cake. The couple of the bride greets the groom with a will feed each other the first slice of cake, flower garland (Jaymala). Grahashanti The “white wedding” ceremony before it is served to the guests. The top is then performed by washing the feet In the ideal type North American layer of the cake will be taken home by of groom by his mother-in-law. The wedding the ceremony begins with the bride and groom and frozen for a year groom is then fed by his mother in law the witnesses being seated first. The to be eaten on their one-year anniversary. in Madhuparka Vidhi. Varapreshanem ceremony will most often take place in The dancing will then continue with is started and the bride’s family and a church or temple for one day only. the father and bride dance, followed groom’s family are introduced and the The building will be carefully decorated by the bride and groom’s first dance as declaration of marriage is made. The with flowers and candles. There could husband and wife. There is the removal bringing of the bride to the mandap takes even be a flower archway at the alter of the garter belt by the groom. He tosses place, and Kanyadaan (Kanya Dhanam) awaiting the bride and groom. The the garter into a group of males. The is performed, where the bride is offered processional, which is the walking down male who catches it is deemed to be the to the groom by her family. This has been the isle of the whole wedding party, winner and he is predicted to be a groom

22 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings within a year. A similar ritual takes place when the bride tosses her bouquet behind her back into a group of women. The female who catches it is believed to be the next female to be married. The music and dancing continue until it is time for the bride and groom to leave. They are showered with rice during their exit to their vehicle. The car is covered with ribbons, flowers, cans on the bumper, and a sign of some sort that reads “just married.”

GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 23 Appendix II Table 1. Indian films and the wedding rituals that appeared in them

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24 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings Table 1. Continued from page 24

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GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 25 Appendix III Table 2. American films and the wedding rituals that appeared in them

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26 A Cross-Cultural Study of Weddings through Media and Ritual: Analyzing Indian and North American Weddings Appendix III Table 2. Continued from page 26

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GVSU McNair Scholars Journal VOLUME 10, 2006 27 Appendix IV Table 3. Number of rituals identified in each category in the movies

Table 4. Number of times rituals appeared in the movies