EDUCATIONAL INSIGHT Hindu Wedding The Sacred Rites of Matrimony

Excerpted from Vivaha Samskara, ATI O C N U A

D L The Hindu Wedding Ceremony E

I N S S T Published by the Hindu Mandir Executives’ Conference I G H

In this Educational Insight, we present a pictorial summary of the Hindu wedding ceremony, with text drawn from a new book, Vivaha Samskara, designed particularly for Hindus living in the diaspora and released in 2011 as a guide to this sacred event. It encompasses all the basic aspects of the traditional rites and incorporates a few key innovations for contemporary times. nipank shroff nipank

t all started at the wedding of my daughter Rupali in 2005. Right after the wedding ceremony, the daughter of I a family friend informed me that she kotwal courtesy deepak had just gotten engaged and wanted me to MarriageMMarriiage ties:tiies: ((left)llefft) A coupcouplelle wwalksallkks arounaroundd ththehe hhohomama kkundaundda be her wedding purohita (priest). I had never done as they embark on a lifetime of joyful and fruitful togetherness during their marriage ceremony. (above) Deepak Kotwal, primary this before, so I did not accept immediately. Having author of Vivaha Samskara, conducts a wedding in his community. attended many Hindu weddings in the US over the last two decades, I felt that the ceremony could be made more meaningful to the couple and the invited English, I decided to write a book specifi cally for the guests, since most people do not understand Sanskrit, Hindu diaspora and even Hindus in India. I met Shri the language of the ceremony. I accepted the request Sanjay Mehta, an active member of the Hindu Man- after studying the subject in depth. ¶After offi ciat- dir Executives’ Conference (HMEC), after I started ing one wedding, I was requested by many Hindu writing. With his encouragement, it was decided friends and acquaintances to offi ciate their children’s that the book would be published under the aus- weddings. In the meetings prior to these weddings, pices of the HMEC, as it neatly complemented the I always explain the ceremony and its signifi cance common objective of sustaining Hindu Dharma. to the couple. Due to the lack of a reference book in From the Preface, by Deepak Kotwal

To order the book go to: www.Hindu-Wedding.org Technical advice and assistance with photo selection & caption writing by Padmaja Patel, of Midland, Texas april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today 37 diinodia.com Introduction The Indian purohitas came well trained inperform-

ditions. Asof 2010, there were approximately 600+ dia were brought intoproperly observe temple tra- of Sanatana Dharma, commonly called the Hindu du/non-Hindu unions, the desire for aHindu ceremony isstrong on emony) and ing the daily temple rituals,aswell asconducting the Hindu temples and institutions inNorth America. identity tothe next generation. Many Hindu tem- need topreserve and propagate their own Hindu majority American society, they perceived agreat andtry their children grew upinthe non-Hindu- religion. Asthey settled inanewly adopted coun- these Indian immigrants grew upinthe tradition the basisof USimmigration policy. Amajority of the part of Hindu parents, aswell assecond-generation Hindu young marriages are usually performed, itwas natural for them and their sermon toacongregation, asinthe traditions of some other religions. samskaras for the devotees, such as ples were built, and parents for towish aproper Hindu wedding ceremony. Even inHin- I As Hindu young adults inNorth America reached the age when idimtdy april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today n themid1960s,indianprofessionals tion and Nationality Act, which changed started arriving inthe USinlarge num- bers afterthe enactment of the Immigra- vivaha 38 (wedding). Purohitas generally do not deliver a purohitas (priests) trained inIn- upanayana (sacred thread cer- The Hindu wedding ceremony comes tousfrom the Educating Young Hindus of what eventually became the Indian classical language Sanskrit all Hindus anywhere inthe world. Ourkey objectives are asfollows. most sacred book of the Hindus. It iswritteninthe archaic version sure that the couple getting married understands the stepsinthe (Sa is aresult of the needs of North American Hindus, itisintended for μ sk®ta). One of the important duties of the purohita istoen- men and women inNorth America. Although a number of books are available on the topic of Hindu wedding socialcustoms, we felt aneed for abook inEnglish speci meeting the multifaceted requirements of the diaspora, aswell asHindus inIndia who follow the “Don’t ask,don’t tell, justdo!” practice when it comes toperforming symbolically rich rituals. vaha samskara depending on the region (with- in India) of family origin. This the book does not listor delve into the region- speci Hindu weddings. Ourintention istofocus on the Vedic roots of the essential stepsina Hindu identity. Although vivaha samskara and tosustainacommon Differing socialcustoms are followed inavi- fi c practices and ritualsassociated with fi cally geared toward Vivaha Samskara fi rst edition of Rig Veda, the

vidya patel 1960s and 1970s generally hadtheir own weddings performed in The generation of Hindus who immigrated toNorth America inthe A Guide for Bride, Groom andA GuideforBride,Groom Parents inthe Diaspora life. The couple should beaware of the meaning of of the purohitas from India at present may not be ceremony. Most people have not studied the San- adequate toexplain the symbolism of the rituals in them. the Hindu young adults entering the married stage of English. change This will over time. The foremost to couples whose mother tongue isessentially follow the ceremony. The English-language skills the traditional Hindu Vedic way, inIndia inmost cases. It isnot a skrit language, making itdif purpose of thisbook istoeducate and empower Core members ofthe team that produced the book, and other jewelry arelaidoutforand other blessingonatrayadornedwith jewelry Kotwal (goldkurta), DilipAmin,andsupporter DileepThatte. married couple con wedding ceremony, which hasits roots inthe wife. To this day, Hindu couples the striveto traditional preserve betel leaves,areca nuts, unbroken rice and skara. Living traditions: Living samskaras (clockwise from middle)Nana(clockwise from Datar, ArunJatkar, Deepak and the sublime ideals enshrined fi dently pondertheir futureashusbandand (left)Thebride’s sacredweddingnecklace fi cult for the couple to fl owers. (above)Anewly Rig Veda. h Vivaha Sam- (below) h Vedic HinduVivaha Procedural Adaptation have added amutual-consent steptothe traditional ceremony. ents’ consent or relatively with minimal parental involvement. We common practice for purohitas inIndia toexplain the symbolism of Hindu Dharma ritualshave evolved over several millennia. The third riage procedure) afew with adaptations tore the second purpose of the book istoprovide areference source tothe may not get enough information from their own elders. Therefore, in North America are curious about their roots and heritage, but they the stepstothe couple or the attendees. Second-generation Hindus dd bd bride and groom themselves may choose each other, their with par- bride, the groom and their parents asthey prepare for their wedding. purpose of thisbook istoprovide aVedic Hindu pi/a/ue 02 hinduism today april/may/june, 2012 h T Therefore, thisbook promotes a common w who are mostly have beendone. The reality inthe life of 21st- dia ismuch weaker thanthat of their parents, cation the with region of family origin inIn- can Hindus have generally beenborn and century Hindus inNorth America isthat the each other aslife partners. It ispresumed to emony does not include astepwherein the ality. The young generation of North Ameri- gional origin. Hindu identity regardless of the family’s re- brought upinNorth America. Their identi bride and the groom state their acceptance of The traditional Vedic Brahma Vivaha cer- fi rst-generation immigrants. fl ect contemporary re- vivaha vidhi (mar- 39 fi - vidya patel The joiningoftwo families: America, they may adapt tocontemporary situations. Thisbook is The Indian-trained purohitas bring thousands of years of Hindu rit- An EnglishReferenceforPurohitas vides analternative setof verses for sapta-pada wherein the bride with thewith couple and their parents. where aproperly quali he conducts the vivaha samskara. It isnot the intention of thisbook du Dharma and tothe creation of North American Hindus’ unique expresses the couple’s wishes for their married life. Thisbook pro- and groom express their shared prayers and aspirations. ask the couple and their elders toread thisbook prior tothe meetings able toconduct the ceremony. The acting purohita isencouraged to intended toassistpurohitas intheir meetings and communications to suggest any alterations inthe practices of the properly trained tion he belongs toand the region he comes from all impact the way identity isenormous. The ancestral lineage of the purohita, the tradi- traditions they learned. Their contribution tothe sustenance of Hin- ual practices tothe ceremony. They rightfully follow the and shastras Hindu temples trained with purohitas, there are many smalltowns in which they decide will the details of their ceremony. it, familiarity our with ritual practices, suf fundamental knowledge of Hindu dharma,astrong desire tosustain the wedding ceremony. Using thisbook, apracticing Hindu with skrit and the abilitytoproperly pronounce Sanskrit words should be purohita. Asthey gain experience inconducting weddings inNorth Although the large cities of North America now have established In the traditional Vedic idimtdy april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today 40 fi ed purohita may not beavailable toperform sapta-pada Thebride’s family gathers to welcome the groom,ashermother places adotofkumkumonhisforehead (riteof seven steps),the groom fi cient knowledge of San- As the 21stcentury dawns inNorth America, itisnot uncommon for Contents oftheBook Hindu/non-Hindu InterfaithMarriages exclusivist initscentral tenet. The couples face many divisive issues related tothe differences intheir commitments toeach other and the couple’s commitment tosociety, a young Hindu adult tochoose anon-Hindu spouse. Such interfaith and they bless the couple tosanctify the union. religious beliefs, especially ifthe non-Hindu religion isessentially not become festering con roles: they are observant eyewitnesses tothe bride’s and groom’s marital relationship. sure that aHindu contemplating marrying anon-Hindu addresses potential differences prior togetting married sothat these issues do Acomplete ceremony for anon-Hindu tobecome aHindu. • Adiscussion of Hindu/non-Hindu interfaith marriage issues. • Explanation of the meaning of Hindu rituals. • Acomplete Vedic Hindu Brahma vivaha liturgy inSanskrit • • Two modi To purchase the book, visit: 161pages, 6"x9", paperback, In aHindu wedding ceremony, the attendees have two important HMEC isaninitiative of the World Hindu Council of America (VHPA). with Englishwith transliteration and translation. It constitutes consent and joint seven-step pronouncements. a step-by-step guide toeach aspect of the wedding. fi cations for contemporary relevance: mutual fl icts negative with effects on harmonious www.hindu-wedding.org fi fth purpose of the book istoen- isbn 978-0-9793501-3-9, $12

After aninvocation prayer, the purohita makes anopening vidya patel The groom arrives tothe accompaniment of music and isfor- Vivaha Samskara Arrival oftheGroom A day ofjoy: vilion four with pillarsand acloth canopy) and wait for the water for washing feet and amixture of honey and yogurt. The which our summarygives inEnglish. Steps oftheVivaha Samskara place inapublic facility nowadays, such asahotel ballroom, it families stand together toawait the groom. then arrive and are welcomed by the bride’s elders. The two they arrive is deemed totake place at the bride’s elders’ home. Therefore, Here we excerpt the detailed wedding procedures found in ing ritualinvolves apuja tothe groom, offerings with of aseat, mally welcomed by the bride’s elders. Apartof the welcom- tions and instructions and provides allthe mantras inSanskrit role therein. The bride’s elders arrive at the Start oftheCeremony arrival of the groom’s party. Although weddings generally take statement tobrie fi rst tobethe hosts of the event. The groom’s elders Abrideisescorted to the weddingmandapabyhersisters, whoholdupaceremonial canopy fl . The book includes more complete explana- y explain the ceremony and the attendees’ mandapa (apa- Anyone anobjection with tothe union was expected tocontact At the beginning of any Hindu religious ceremony, Lord Gane- This puja isperformed by both setsof elders. Inthis stepthe The bride arrives, accompanied by music and fanfare. She takes Arrival oftheBride wedding venue. Nowadays itisrecommended that the bride her seat on the stage on the left side. It iscustomary inmost prior tothe wedding. Such anarrival fanfare with was ameth- perspective) of the stage. Traditionally, the arrival of the groom parents inmost cases. The groom’s elders perform apuja tothe parts of India for the maternal uncle toescort the bride tothe bride. Giftsmay bepresented toher at thistime. groom at thistime. groom isthen escorted tohisseat on the right side (attendees’ the elders of the bride or groom. Giftsmay bepresented tothe od of announcing that the wedding isscheduled totake place. choose asher escort(s) the elder(s) emotionally closest toher; Invocation Ganesha toLord and hispartytothe bride’s village took place at least one day sha’s blessings are sought, asHe isthe remover of allobstacles. pi/a/ue 02 hinduism today april/may/june, 2012 41 dinodia.com vidya patel bride’s elders and the groom’s elders request the attendees to the lineages of the bride and groom and the location where the It iscustomary toidentify the day (according tothe Hindu cal- the couple that they are about toperform awedding ceremony. rious and auspicious for the samskara. ceremony isbeing held. endar system),names of the persons performing the ceremony, collectively express the desire that the day and time bemerito- A statement of intent idimtdy april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today 42 (sankalpa) is made by the elders and This ceremonial stepallows the couple toannounce their mu- cord aroundThe the bride other’s and groom each wrist tie a Tying StringAround Wrists symbolizing mutual protection andprayers for goodhealth larly noteworthy. InHindu Dharma, “sagotra vivaha,” the i.e., health. part of the traditional Brahma vivaha. It was added inthisbook pledge toprovide mutual protection and their prayers for good bride and groom belong todifferent gotras. bride and groom belonging tothe same gotra, isforbidden. The Bonds of to re the duties of the householder stage of life. Thisstepisnot a tual consent. Each one states that she/he hasmade amature Hindu young adults that the bride and groom choose each oth- er aslife partners. Pledge ofMutualConsent announcement of both gotras informs the attendees that the and decision wise toaccept the other asspouse todischarge symbolizing their commitment toperform the ceremony, their The announcement of the gotra (clan-lineage) isparticu- fl ect the contemporary reality for many North American fi delity: Each tiesacord around the wristof the other,

dinodia.com your bounds.” wealth and ful hold thistray intheir hands and say the following three times grass, gious duties, acquire wealth and seek the ful in the presence of allthe attendees. I thoughtfully and joyfully choose you asmy husband of my fectly capable of making decisions about my career and life. mishtha. May the sages, the sacred that you not will transgress my bounds while you pursue reli- own free May will. the sages, the sacred other Deities, the Sun, the Moon and the Earthgive their con- consent toour union, and may they bless our union.” desires!” all other Deities, the Sun, the Moon and the Earthgive their and the groom takes that oath three times. Bride: “Promise me should beplaced inacopper tray. The groom and the bride same way that Shantanu chose Ganga or Yayati chose Shar- sent toour union, and may they bless our union.” A pebble soaked inwater, a Groom:“My fair lady, Ihave chosen you asmy wife inthe Bride: “Ihave reached the age of majority, and Iamper- Now the bride asksthe groom three times totake anoath, Groom: “Inthe pursuit of my religious duties, acquisition of fl owersand fi llment of earthly desires Ishallnot transgress akshata (unbroken grains of rice, colored) niranjana fi re, GodVaruna and all , atulasileaf, darbha fi re, GodVaruna and fi llment of earthly

dinodia.com daughter’s handinto the groom’s hand.Thesetwoacts symbolize are sought.(left)Inthe rite ofkanya danam,the bride’s mother statement ofintent ismadeandthe blessingsofLordGanesha Meaningful rites: the transference ofhercare andprotection to the groom. pours water into herhusband’s hand,which hands andthen into the bride’s. (above)Thefather places his water from the Giving AwayGiving theBride,Kanya Danam fi her ashislife partner ispoetic and noteworthy. He raises arhe- palm, which then bride’s palm.Thiswater stream iscollected by the groom’s groom by the bride’s father: “Donot transgress her asyou pur- groom and the bride. In thisstep, the bride’s mother pours asmallstream of holy not do that. the parched earthat the end of summer eagerly accepts the Ishvara that brought us together. Iaccept her love, with justas merely instruments inthe hands of Ishvara. It was the of wish then goes on toprovide the answer (paraphrase): “You and Iare torical question, “Who isthe giver and who isthe receiver?” He is being entrusted tothe groom and that he isnow respon- mother inacopper plate. The symbolism here isthat the bride ment of the parents’ obligation or debt totheir ancestors. The earthly desires.” The groom repeats three times that he will sue your duties, acquire wealth and seek ful sible for her protection, fullapproval with of the parents of the rst showers of monsoon.” The act of one’s gifting daughter represents the ful The groom’s response tothe bride’s parents afteraccepting One important partof thisstepisthe advice given tothe kalasha pi/a/ue 02 hinduism today april/may/june, 2012 (far left) At the beginningofthe ceremony, a fl ows tothe groom’s palmand (water vessel) onto the bride’s father’s fl ows into the groom’s fi llment of your fi nally tothe 43 fi ll- vidya patel 44 The bride and groom stand [or sit]facing each other, each hana.” “Svadhana” means attention, and “shubha mangalam” holding afresh perpetuation of society through progeny isconsidered one of purohita and/or family members toinvoke blessings of God, guests collectively the advise couple “Shubha mangalam. Svad- nance of society through procreation. thetrusting daughter toher husband isdone for the suste- the most important duties of ahouseholder. Thisact of en- ics. Some are recited by relatives, such asaunts, uncles, siblings the eight verses traditionally recited, some may bespeci to pay keen attention tothe commitments they are making to means auspicious. The invited guests are advising the couple rivers, etc. At the end of each verse, the purohita and invited them sothat they cannot seeeach other’s faces. The curtain composed for the couple incorporating their names inthe lyr- each other and tosociety on thisauspicious occasion. Outof Eight AuspiciousVerses and cousins. Once the curtain isremoved, the bride garlands symbolizes their separate identities prior togetting married. Eight auspicious verses idimtdy april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today fl ower garland. Acloth curtain isheld between (mangalashtakam) are sung by the fi cally As the bride and groom stand or sitfacing each other, they ex- The bride and groom alternate. Each time, afterthe promise is The bride’s mother presents the bride’s necklace, called Tying theSacred Necklace gala sutra, life toful purohita through abrief puja. The groom then places it on press their wishes for life. One expresses and awish the other h rd,wierctn,“I place thismangala around sutra the bride, while reciting, responds by saying, “Letitbeso; do Iwill allIcantomake itso.” made, one sprinkles important commitments the bride and groom make toeach there beno will secrets between them. Thisisone of the most the curtain symbolizes that two lives are becoming one and the groom, then the groom garlands the bride. The removal of religious duties, fame, duties towards the society, tochildren, other. Expectations for Married Life Expectations forMarried and groom are committing towork together intheir married and success inallendeavors. fi ll their duties inthe following sixareas: prosperity, literally “auspicious thread.” It issancti akshata over the other’s head. The bride fi ed by the man- This isaWestern custom adopted by Hindus inNorth Amer- The groom then applies ared dot on the bride’s forehead and your neck asasymbol of our good fortune, love and friend- Applying Kumkum totheBride’s Forehead woman’s married status. well known symbols of her marriage status. While applying his commitment toprotect her inallcircumstances. These are black and gold beads. Socially itserves asasymbol of aHindu Eastern skies.” the early morning sunenhances the beauty and glory of the the kumkum,he recites thismantra: “May of sin- thistilaka ica and elsewhere. It isnot anessential partof the traditional red kumkumpowder inthe partof her hairasasymbol of dura forever nourish your status and esteem,justasthe orb of of our love. Keep itsafe and secure on your ceremony. Bride: “Iplace thisring on your Placing aRingontheGroom’s Finger hp”Nowadays most (notship.” all)Hindus useagold necklace with safe and secure inyour heart." vidya patel groom adornshisbridewith a mangala sutra;3)they showeroneanother groom andbriderepresents their Commitments deepen: with unbroken rice; 4)heapplieskumkumto the partinherhair. (clockwise from left)1)Acurtain (clockwise heldbetween from separateness before marriage; 2)the fi nger, and keep me fi nger asasymbol “The Deities Bhaga, Aryama, Savitri and Indra have brought you The groom accepts the bride’s hand inmarriage while saying, The purohita now instructs and guides the groom and the Veda Acceptance ofHandinMarriage Acceptance with thewith sancti Tying theKnot Suns. Ignorant people do not know your real nature. Kindly re- bride inperformance of aGanesha puja inwhich groom’s stole and the end of the bride’s sariare tied together, good fortune. May we live together well into ripeold age” ( iconic for Hindu weddings, representing abond for life. to beundone until the ceremony isover. The image of the bride move allthe obstacles inmy undertakings.” Afterthe puja, the the Deity. The purohita recites: “Lord SriGanesha, your physi- nuts, dried roots of turmeric and some laddus are placed before to me sothat we may together follow the dif cal stature islarge. You shine the with brilliance of millions of and groom circumambulating Agni ( astha ashrama. 10.85.36).

fi I take your hand inmy hand sowe may receive ed betel nuts inside the knot. The knot isnot pi/a/ue 02 hinduism today april/may/june, 2012 vidya paetl raj sarva fi re), thus tied together, is fi cult path of grih- fi ve betel ve Rig 45 all photos: dinodia.com ceremony, brideandgroomtogether touch sevenmounds offers puffed grainsinto the of unbroken rice with their toe whilerecitingsevenprayers. strength to overcome allchallenges. 6)During the seven-step Joined by now oneinbody, mind,andspirit.2)Thegroombride monious relationshipwith herhusband’s family. 4)Together they walkaroundthe perform their hands boundwith twinesymbolizesthe bondingoftwosouls, round, the brideplaces herfoot onastone, symbolizingher “Aum! By making the offerings toAgni,thisgirl hasworshiped The groom places two The couple isseeking Agni’s blessings for protection, purity, il- 46 Circumambulating the Fire & Ascending theStone Circumambulating theFire &Ascending ha” isuttered at averse’s end, he pours aspoonful of ghee into her parents’ home and family, and not from anattachment to lumination of minds and asmooth relationship. pit holding the ritual performing thisritualfor the the sacred fully and my wife, perform Iwill thisvivaha homa inorder tosuccess- In Vedic times itwas customary toperform anAgnipuja (sa- God Aryama. May Aryama free thisgirl from attachment to neath and one hand over the bride’s hands. fuls of ghee inthe bride’s hands. Then he places one hand be- the sacred of the groom and rests her right hand on the groom’s wristas cred Seeking Agni’s BlessingthroughHoma an indication of her participation inthisvivaha homa. stage of life). The groom recites, “Having accepted thisbride as signi The groom recites aseries of Vedic mantras. Each time “sva- idimtdy april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today fi fi es their entry into grihasthaashrama (the householder re worship, alsocalled fi fi rmly establish her status asthe wife and toestablish re: fi fi re, which burns inthe homa-kunda (asmallsquare fi re inour household.” The bride sitson the left side rst homato seek Agni’s blessings.3)Thebride (clockwise from above)1)Thejoiningofthe (clockwise from fi re three times.5)Atthe endofeach fi re, fueled by smallpieces of dried wood). fi stfuls of poppedstfuls grain and two spoon- fi re, prayingfor astrong,har- fi homa rst time aftergetting married ) every day. The couple’s

The groom recites: Agni. Inthe second round, Varuna isinvoked, and inthe third, The purohita prepares seven smallmounds of rice ina line er. Finally, afourth oblation ismade toPrajapati,years.” without verse of The RiteofSeven Steps hold and face any adversity that may lie ahead inlife. her. At the end of the circumambulation she places her foot on fi fi be married. Letushave children. Letusendear ourselves to groom holds the bride’s right hand and walks slightly ahead of minds acting inunison, let uslive along and happy life of 100 this verse from the Pushana isworshiped. During each round, the groom recites together offer the grain into tothe circumambulating. each other. With love and affection for each other, and with our home and our family. Svaha!” The bride and the groom then a stone, and the groom expresses that hiswish she become as and standing on the rock) are repeated two more times. Inthe are alsothe Prana. Iamthe Sky, and you are the Earth.Iama strong asthe stone she isstanding on toform astrong house- re holding apitcher of holy water and homa utensils. The rst round, the Vedic DeityAryama isinvoked inthe form of These actions (offering puffed grains, walking around the The bride and groom now walk clockwise around the sacred Sama Veda, GrihyaSutras: and you are averse of “Iamindeed the Prana. You fi re. re. Rig Veda. Letus fi re re he repeats, “Become one me with inthought and action. May we presses seven wishes for their married life. Aftereach statement provide the essence of the wife’s role inthe marriage. Inthe tra- be blessed many with children and may they enjoy along life.” the essence of aHindu wedding. The sentiments expressed here tions around Agniand the seven-step ceremony are recognized as ing tothe 1956 Hindu Marriage Act of India, the circumambula- mounds asinstructed by the purohita. ing next toeach other, their stoles tied inaknot, still stepon the for the bride and groom tostepon. The bride and groom, stand- ditional Brahma vivaha, the groom addresses the bride and ex- 4 Take thisfourth stepfor the ful 4. 7 Take thisseventh stepfor alifelong7. friendship. Take thissixthstepfor the enjoyment 6. this Take 5. Take thisthird stepfor prosperity inlife. 3. Take thissecond step for strength inlife.2. Takethis 1. This isone of the most important partsof the ceremony. Accord- of the various seasons of life. fi fi fth stepfor procreation. rst stepfor the abundance of nourishment inlife. fi llment of allearthly desires. raj sarva dinodia.com

nipank shroff The AuspiciousDay: she touches the stone after walkingaroundthe traditions, the groomplaces aringonthe bride’s toe justbefore (below)Inthe familytations Tamil andfriends. from and Telugu touching the feet ofthe parents inrespect;(right)receiving salu- receive blessings from thereceive purohita. blessingsfrom (above)Bowingdownand you.” And the bride says, “O Lord of my heart! Thisismy we beinseparable will friends through the journey of life. May ha Samskara groom says, “O Mistress of my heart! Thisismy recite the following seven prayers. Prior tothe river keeps swelling inthe rainy season.” Then they together ing seven stepstogether tobegin our unitedjourney of life. May for everlasting love, make the riteof seven stepscontemporary. In the traditional riteof seven steps,the bride does not have the Ishvara give uslife long enough towatch our many children our love and affection for each other keep growing the way a expressions, stated afteranopening verse expressing awish complementary nature of the husband-wife relationship, opportunity toexpress her wishes. Inorder toemphasize the Rite ofSeven Steps,Alternative Form withJoint Recitation and grandchildren grow and prosper.” and become worthy of merit.” The groom and bride exchange step with you.”step with Together: “May we ful similar complimentary verses before each step. Bride and groom together: “O Vaishvanara Agni,we are tak- Groom: “Now that we have taken these seven stepstogether, provides verses tobejointly recited. These joint (left)With foreheads touching, the couple fi ll our duties honor with fi re the fi rst prayer, the fi fi rst time. rst step with rst stepwith Viva- fi rst

“Since we have taken these ceremonial seven stepstogether, our nipank shroff you beblessed prosperity, with power, health, plenty of food, peace. Letthere benourishment. Letthere behappiness.” Now the bride and groom stand facing each other, holding moonlight.” minds have become one. May we shine like the moon and the cattle, many children and along life of 100years. Letthere be each other’s hands and their foreheads touching. The purohita Blessings bythePurohita sprinkles holy water on them and intones the following: “May 4 May our home be blessed with 4. 7 May our two hearts beat asone. 7. May our deeds bring pride toour families. 6. May our life together bepeaceful &mutually nourishing. 5. 1 May we ful 1. 2 May our home always be 2. 3 May we know allthe joys that life hastooffer.3. After the wealth and sustenance. children and grandchildren. and become worthy of merit. fi nal step, the groom and bride repeat together: fi ll our duties honor with fi lled with And may your life be The newly married couple should now bow down totheir you live happily your with daughters, sons and grandchildren. your love and affection for us. We are eternally grateful toyou with eyeswith closed: “We hold Dhruva [the pole star],Arundhati May allbewell.” Meditating onDhruva, Arundhati&Saptarishi long as the Sun, protector of allbeings, shines in the sky, may parents and gurus,kindly accept the salutations from us,the parents, the purohita and allthe elders inattendance and to- gether askfor their blessings inthese words: “Respected elders, the sacred river Jahnavi (Ganga) follow himinunison: “May allbewell you. with Aslong as to us.” for that. We pray toyou toonce again extend your bestwishes newly married couple. You allattended thissamskara out of In thispartof the ceremony, the groom and bride recite together ideals of steadfastness and down tothem and pray toreceive their blessings. They are the Final Salutations and Saptarishi [two constellations] dear toour heart. We bow The purohita recites averse of blessing, and allthe attendees pi/a/ue 02 hinduism today april/may/june, 2012 fi lled beauty, with grace and happiness. fi delity toallpeople on thisEarth.” fl ows on thisEarth, and as 49 dinodia.com Weddings Logistics A FROM CHAPTERFIVEOF events may include: ish event guests with normally ranging between 200 and 500. The ties involved inthe ceremony bethe will parents of the couple. It sponsibility toconduct aproper wedding. It canbeamulti-day, lav- • Reception: • Wedding Ceremony: • Pre-Wedding Puja: • Mehendi/Sangita/Garba: Elders: just prior tothe beginning of the main ceremony. Atrained pu- and family. gram isgenerally presented by amateur who artists are friends rohita canprovide guidance inthese matters. from some communities perform aritecalled Gauri-Hara puja main event. Thiscanbeasmall,private, family affair. The brides nities aswell. they have become common among many non-Gujarati commu- music” party. Although Garbafolk dances originated inGujarat, idimtdy april/may/june, 2012 hinduism today Apart from the bride and groom, the most common par-

wedding inahindufamily isone ofthemostjoy- event, because traditionally ithasbeenthe parents’ re- erally deeply involved inorganizing and paying for the ous events and iscelebrated gusto. with Parents are gen- 50 Besides dinner and dancing, anentertainment pro- Worship toseek blessings prior tothe The mainceremony. VIVAHA SAMSKARA VIVAHA Alsoknown asthe “henna and The AuspiciousDay:

interfaith couple exchange garlandsduring their Hindu marriageceremony (above)Anopulentoutdoor weddingvenue, lavishlyadorned;(right)an weddings are wedding hallsor hotel ballroom facilities. Sometimes hita and inaccordance the with Hindu panchanga (calendar). Many kara customary for the two sides tocontribute equitably. Inan interfaith ents bearing allthe wedding related expenses. These days itismore cess or chaos of anoutdoor wedding. Anindoor ceremony is always an uncle/aunt. The term as availability of avenue, and the dates considered auspicious. an outdoor wedding isdesired. Weather plays amajor role inthe suc- groom should select someone she/he isemotionally close to, such as generally not conduct awedding ceremony inthe maintemple it- issues. recommended that opendiscussions beheld early on toresolve these marriage, the issue of expense sharing may bemore complicated. It is to avariety of reasons, such asphysical inability, death of one/both is possible that one or both of the parents may not participate due times there could beaclash between practical considerations, such is called self. Anadjacent hallmay beused.Most popular choices for Hindu parents or unwillingness toparticipate. Insuch situations, the bride/ Venue Choice: Muhurta: Expenses: . The purohita should customize the stepsaccordingly. muhurta Some communities have the tradition of the bride’s par- The auspicious day and time chosen for the wedding . It istraditionally chosen by consulting the puro- Unlike churches, Christian Hindu temples will elders isusedgenerically in Vivaha Sams-

madhavi medi All participants stepping on tothe stage are required toremove woven into the procedures. It isimportant that the purohita knows beincludedwill should bedecided early on, especially ifitisgoing to en toinstruct them well, especially ifthey are not familiar the with event special.The rest of the celebration isaparty!So, allstepsthat covered inwhite cloth tocreate apure, clean and auspicious space. departure of the bride, groom and their families. The stage should be on astage which isat least 18inches off the ground. The minimum exposed tothe useof asmallritual coming more common that the facility management allow will the emonial easier tomanage. AHindu wedding does require the useof acer- ally the mandapa should face east.Invited guests should beseated about these stepsand how toincorporate them along the with Vedic Hindu wedding steps. The attending guests should have aclear view footwear. in two sections an aisle with clear inthe middle for the arrival and recommended sizeof the stage is24 feet wide and 12feet deep. Ide- the shastras. The mandapa should beat least 12feet square and set use of should not unduly interfere inthe proceedings. Care should betak- steps. be aninterfaith wedding. Sometimes additional socialcustoms are performed, called Audio-Video Recording: Ceremony Format: Stage andMandapa: fi re. It isessential tocheck on thisprior toengaging the facility. fi re. Asthe hospitality industry inthe diaspora gets more mandapa, The wedding ceremony iswhat makes the The canopy under which the ceremony is The photographers and videographers should have four pillars,according to fi re inHindu weddings, itisbe- This isnot the same asarehearsal wedding. inaChristian The puro- There are many variations inthe choice of music, depending on the well. Another important itemtoattend toisthe collection of allre- wear simple attire worn by purohitas inIndia, such asawhite dhoti hita does not rehearse the ceremony prior tothe actual wedding. lings, uncles and aunties. Each must beinformed and understand live musicians perform. Shehnai music istraditionally associated Hindu with weddings. display on alarge screen. of proceedings. Sometimes thisisachieved by having alive video are now available inthe West. and white/beige silkkurta.Inthe caseof aninterfaith wedding, non- greatly in ing, should supply alistof items required. Most wedding materials quired materials for the ceremony. The purohita, inthe meet- initial Hindus involved may not beable tofollow the purohita’s instructions music creates aserene atmosphere. The sound-system control per- their role inthe ceremony and beready toperform itwhen required. individuals involved inaHindu wedding ceremony, parents, e.g., sib- region of India the families hailfrom. It isnot uncommon tohave Indian attire. Hindu participants may require assistance inselecting and wearing son should coordinate the presentation of music the with purohita. Music: Review ofLogistics: Dress Code: Extra careExtra should be taken incaseof fusion weddings, asthe non- The Vivaha ceremony originates inthe The book Two stepsare traditionally added tothe Vedic steps: Mongols and Arabs and occupation by Europeans. Christian Seven cation inthe olden days, inspiteof the invasions by Muslim Turks, es, certain elements have remarkably remained common through customs have beenadded tothe classic Vedic ceremony indifferent regions of India over the centuries. Inspiteof the regional differenc- innovations: steps from the several millennia, inspiteof the dif • • • • • • • • • • • Modi Paraspara-sa Kanyâ-dânam: Írî Ga Dhruva-Arundhatî-Sapta®shi Darßanam: Sapta-padî Aßmâroha Agni-pradakshi Lâjâ-homa Pâ Homa the bride voices her prayers along the with groom Re performed at the startof the ceremony ∫ fl fl igraha During the ceremony, the presentation of appropriate ecting on starsand constellations uence the style and color of attire. The purohita should fi ˙ ∫ Vivâha Sa ed Sapta-padî Hindu Wedding Rites Essential Stepsinthe : eßa Pûjâ: Oblation (offering) toAgni The bride and groom’s region of origin inIndia will ∫ ∫ ˙ ˙ Vedas am: am: pi/a/ue 02 hinduism today april/may/june, 2012 : : μ Offering of puffed grain into the Riteof seven steps The bride’s parents’ giving her tothe groom mati Acceptance of hand inmarriage Bride’s stepping on astone ∫ μ Worship of the Lord of Obstacles, â: Besides the bride and groom, there are many form the core of today’s traditional rites: skâra Circumambulation of the homa ˙ : ˙ Statement of mutual consent : Riteof seven stepsinwhich provides two contemporary fi culty of travel and communi- Rig Veda

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