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Journal of Language and Literature ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online) Fransiska Rahayu Myrlinda

Samin’s Arranged in Today Javanese’s Society

Fransiska Rahayu Myrlinda [email protected] Magister Ilmu Susastra, Universitas Kristen Petra

Abstract

Arranged marriage means a marriage in which the have chosen and planned to whom their son or daughter would marry with. This form of marriage commonly has perception that it is held only for the needs of their parents without any consideration of their children’s feelings. It results in there is no freedom for either or groom to choose their own partner. All the things have been set according to the parents’ will. In , usually they even never have a chance to meet each other before the marriage occurs. On the other hand, arranged marriage does exist and has been believed as a culture for Samin people in Kelopodhuwur, Blora, Indonesia. It is held from generation to generation which makes it impossible for the children to deny. It is used by the people in Samin community to preserve their identity from extinction. There are lots of unique rituals should be done for Samin people in holding this arranged marriage. The identity theory was used to support the reliable data to the research.

Keywords: rarranged marriage rituals, Samin people, Identity

Introduction or not they agree with the person they are going to marry with. Arranged marriage can be understood as a marriage that is established before a lengthy Arranged were the norm in relationship. It is the opposite of a Russia before the early of 20th century, most of marriage where marriage would be which were . Until the first half of considered as the final step to legalize the the 20th century, arranged marriages were relationship between the lovers. Arranged common in migrant in the United marriages were very common throughout the States. They were sometimes called picture- world until the 18th century. Typically, these bride marriages among Japanese American marriages were arranged by parents, immigrants because the bride and groom or other relatives. The arranged knew each other only through the exchange of marriage is a negotiation and decision photographs before the day of their marriage between parents and other older members of (Goldstein-Gidoni, 200, p. 34). These two families. The boys and girls were typically marriages among immigrants were typically told to get married, without a right to consent, arranged by parents, or relatives from the even if they had never met each other until the country of their origin. As immigrants settled day (Broude, 1983, p. 270). In the in and melded into a new culture, arranged arranged marriage, the boys and girls do not marriages shifted to the arranged marriages have power to deny their parents’ desire. It is where parents or friends made introductions unacceptable for them to argue about whether and the couple met before the marriage. As time went by, the arranged marriage then

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Journal of Language and Literature Vol. 19 No. 02 – October 2019 ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online) developed. The marriages among the policies, is also the unique topic to be known descendants of these immigrants shifted to by others. Their first movement during Dutch autonomous marriages driven by individual's colonial government policies in practicing choice, and preferences, arranged marriage is one of the excellent along with an increase in interracial marriages points in connection to discuss the (Leeds-Hurwitz, 2002, p. 135). interrelation meanings between their movement and the rituals they have. Arranged marriages then have declined in Ironically, even though Samin and their prosperous countries with higher social movement could make trouble for the Dutch, mobility and increasing individualism since most people around this community seem to there is a negative perception that these have viewed them negatively. In practicing marriage happened only for the needs of and maintaining the arranged marriage, for parents without thinking about the feelings of example, they are categorized as being their children itself. On the other hand, backward or even to be called as primitive arranged marriages are still seen in countries people. of Europe and North America, among royal families, aristocrats, and minority religious Historically, Samin is an Indonesian social groups such as in marriage commonly movement founded by Samin Surosentika in happened among the Fundamentalist Mormon central Java, Indonesia around late nineteenth groups of the (Ghimire et. al., and early twentieth centuries. Samin people 2006, p. 1200). In most other parts of the rejected the capitalist views of Dutch colonials world, especially in Indonesia, arranged who forced taxes upon Indonesian’s people. marriages continue to varying degrees and Samin people rejected to pay tax, since they forms, along with autonomous marriages. The think that they live in Indonesia and Dutch existence of arranged marriage in Indonesia is does not belong to their country. Samin people still increasing from time to time. preferred to resist against the Dutch colonial government policies. They do not pay Indonesia, as an archipelago country, attention on the life of ordinary world. consumes arranged marriage as a symbol of However, samin people maintain to keep their uniqueness around its islands. When arranged life to be useful not only for themselves but marriage is held, rituals are always followed also for others. The feelings of togetherness side by side. Java, as one of islands in are the most important part for their lives Indonesia, conveys the variety rituals of (King, 1973). Samin people consider wealth arranged marriage with lots of meanings. not as the major aspect that differentiates Since there are lots of indigenous communities people. Therefore, according to them, to have a which still exist in Java, such as Tengger, lot of money without feeling happy or even Osing, and Samin, each of them has its own grateful for their precious life is a mistake. unique way in running the certain rituals in arranged marriage. The marriage rituals Samin Surosentika, commonly known as between all those three communities are the founder of samin, around 1890 era started completely different with the carried to teach the Samin’s belief or usually called as meanings on it. Besides, those indigenous “sikep”. It differentiates the way of life communities itself usually live outside the between samin people and others’ common common Javanese framework (Shiraishi, 1990, way of living. Sikep’s principles later on are p. 100). They have kept and carried out their used to persuade people to have peace with traditional culture as their way of life. others. Sikep’s principles were used by its people to be their philosophy of life. This Among those three communities, Samin is philosophy of life is learnt from generation to the most interesting community to be generation. This philosophy of life itself has discussed, especially in the rituals of arranged the main function which is to teach people as marriage they held to preserve their cultures human beings to be kind and treat others and even believes (Benda, 1969, p. 210). Their according to the correct manners. Applying it existence, especially during their long history to the real habitual life means that people of resistance to Dutch colonial government should live their life not only for living their

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Journal of Language and Literature ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online) Fransiska Rahayu Myrlinda own life, such as being rich and wealthy for Rew and Champbell (1999) also give themselves, but mostly for helping their meaning to identity. Identity was viewed as a surroundings too. sign of struggle. They claimed that identity concerns mostly with what you belong to. The changing era from historical to the Identity focuses on emotional experiences, more modern era does not give any difference including experience of resistance if it is to Samin people and its beliefs. Even with the against the beliefs. Furthermore, identity also development of era to the modernism, the concern with commitments to imagined Samin people still convey what so called as “tribes” and other communities. togetherness to maintain their relations to one another by doing the arranged marriage. The Moreover, Nunan and Choi (2010) even rituals held in this arranged marriage are divided the meaning of identity into two diverse. There are lots of meanings that want different aspects; social and cultural identity. to be conveyed by doing arranged marriage Social identity is the relationship between the for Samin people. Each of arranged individual language learner and the larger marriage done by Samin people signifies social world. Meanwhile, cultural identity different meanings. The most obvious implies the relationship between the explanation of performing the rituals in individual and members of a particular ethnic arranged marriage held by Samin people is to group. Cultural identity mostly shares a convey togetherness between each other. common history and language to its members. Therefore, it needs sort of background However, as the debate of the fixed meaning of knowledge and understanding on how identity goes on, it is acceptable that there are togetherness is portrayed in Samin arranged three key elements related to identity which marriage rituals. This research attempts to are context, space, and time when it occurs. examine how Samin arranged marriage rituals Hence, this theory is used to know the are held in relation to declare identity of the interrelation between the arranged marriage community. The data in this study was only and identity that the Samin’s community focused on the result of observation done for wants to be conveyed. Samin community in Belimbing and Klopoduwur, Blora. Javanese Culture

Identity Javanese culture is the culture of the Javanese in Indonesia, a part of In defining what identity is, there are the Indonesian culture. This theory elaborates many experts who have been discussed about the explanation of a Javanese’s the meaning of it related to the social context condition in their habitual life. It values where it belongs. Identity is always changing. harmony and social order highly. Parents, The changing itself depends on context, especially, hold the higher level to be obeyed. experience or space, and even time which give They could not be denied. It will be assumed effect on it. In addition, identity is constructed as kualat (get cursed) if the children disobey by self and society. Epstein said that the their parents’ desire (Koentjaraningrat, 1990, meaning of identity represents the process by pp. 140-142). Here, it can be stated that the which the person seeks to integrate his children do not have the authority to various statuses and roles, as well as his overpower their parents. diverse experiences, into a coherent image of self (1978, p.10). Weeks (1990) later proposed In relation with power, Franz Magnis the idea that identity is about belonging. It can Suseno argued his idea in the book entitled imply the meaning that identity is what people Javanese Ethnics and World-View: the Javanese have in common with some people. He also Idea of the Good Life that: added that identity also can evoke the meaning of what differentiates a person from For the Javanese, power means more than the others. the mere ability to impose one’s will upon others. Because power is concrete, cosmic force, it never appears in the abstract…. In 142

Journal of Language and Literature Vol. 19 No. 02 – October 2019 ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online)

the Javanese conception power is therefore public without any scandal; they take an not neutral, but “good”, not in the moral active concern in all the business of life; sense, but in that it has desirable they are consulted by men on all public consequences for the public. Real power , and are frequently raised to the proves itself through its exercise and throne, and that too when the monarchy is through its effects. Indications of real elective... At public , women appear power are that its effects are achieved among the men; and those invested with without the use of force; that it flows from authority sit in their councils when affairs itself, without coercion and without visible of state are discussed, possessing, it is strain (1997, p. 114). often alleged, even more than their due share in the deliberations... The Javanese From this statement, we can see how women are industrious and laborious powerful the real power is. It is not limited to beyond all those of the archipelago, but the individual, but it gives influence to the their labour, instead of being imposed upon surroundings. It conveys the fact that power them by the men, becomes through its can be used to manipulate others, since it has utility to the latter, a source of “good” effect. Power can be achieved without distinction (Winzeler, 1982, p. 178). using force, which means in relation between parents and children those who hold more Here, we can see that in general the power do not need to force other to obey what Javanese women contribute to the household they want. The people who have power can economy by earning income from wages, control other. For those who do onot have trading, and agricultural activities. Some jobs, authority to overpower others, they will, however, women cannot perform, including without force do every command of those who ploughing, carrying extremely heavy loads, hold the power. and performing heavy manual labour, such as road work, carpentry, or bricklaying (Geertz, Koentjaraningrat added that in the 1961). This pattern has remained relatively relation between and , a wife constant over time. Since many Javanese then has to show respect towards her husband women are economically independent, the (ngajeni) as the husband is always assumed to typical woman has no difficulty in supporting be older than his wife. The wife’s sphere of herself and her children as she wish to interest centres mainly on the household. The (Geertz, 1961). husband is the household head, but he mostly has to concern himself with external matters, Javanese women also have the right to such as fulfilling the family’s needs ad usually own and control land. However, Hull (1982) takes little interest in the day-to-day added that being a housewife is considered a household routine. He only gives his wife a privilege in Java. Women who work are certain amount of money at fixed periods, thought not to be able to care properly for within which his wife has to run the household their children. The husband’s status also for the entire period. The husband is also the increases if he is able to support the family only one who can decide everything that his alone. As a husband, he must have the family needs to be done. ability to control not only the financial level, but also the family’s structure. Crawfurd (1820, in Winzeler 1982) also added that the position of a wife in Javanese’s As this study focuses on the arranged culture as the representation of Javanese marriage performed in Samin community, women has significance contributions in the there are perceptions in the society that economy level. He remarked: construct children to obey their parents as it is stated in Javanese’s culture theory. Certain ...women are not treated with contempt or physical attitudes and qualities of children disdain. They eat with the men, and which represent Javanese’s culture are used as associate with them in all respects on terms the marker of the significance roles of parents of equality, as surprised us in such a in performing Samin arranged marriage. condition of society...women appear in

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Journal of Language and Literature ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online) Fransiska Rahayu Myrlinda

Patriarchy Data Collection

Patriarchy is commonly defined as “any The data in this research are taken from system of organizational (political, the interview with four different married economic, industrial, financial, religious, or couples who had performed Samin’s arranged social) in which the overwhelming numbers marriage rituals. The informants are Samin’s of upper positions in hierarchies are arranged marriage couples who live in occupied by males” (Goldberg, 1977, p. 25). Desa Klopodhuwur and Desa Belimbing, It is a term to describe social systems in which Sambongrejo, Blora. They are differentiated male is the favoured gender, and in which men into two groups; the parents and the children hold power, authority, and privilege and categorized based on their marriage’s (commonly called as male domination). It durations and the ages. The interview is reinforced by societal and cultural norms, limited only on the involvement of the religious teachings, and the media. This parents’ roles in Samin’s arranged marriage. system has been exist in our society for ages that most of the time we seem not to realize it The interview, later, is analysed based on because we see it as something natural and we the background of Samin’s arranged marriage, have never questioned about it before. the pros and cons, the resistance of power, the negotiation, and how Samin people value their In family relationship, the concept of arranged marriage as their tradition. After the patriarchy is seen as male dominance where interview had been done, the matrix was made man or husband has power over woman or to list specific language used by the parents wife. “Whereas patriarchy refers to that show how they exercise power to their hierarchical realities, male dominance refers children. Summarizing the reliable data and to male-female encounters and relationships, making the conclusion were the last processes to the “feeling” acknowledged by the on doing this research. of both men and women that general authority in dyadic and familial relationships, in Findings and Analysis whatever terms a particular society defines authority, ultimately resides in the male” (p. The marriage practice in Samin 37). community, especially in Klopoduwur, Blora, differs from the common Javanese tradition. Kamla Bhasin added that a man is Marriages is done only between the Samin considered as a head of a household. In the members based on adat () family, he controls the sexuality, work or exists there. It is acceptable when people who production, reproduction, and the move of a come from outside the community want to woman. Family also has an important role to marry the Samin people only if those people teach the next generation with the become Samin and obey the law. patriarchal values. In the family, we get the first lesson about hierarchy, Samin Arranged Marriage Rituals subordination, and discrimination. Boys learn to force and rule, while girls learn to obey Before doing the arranged married rituals, and to be treated unequally (1996, p. 11). those who are categorized as Samin people should obey what so called as the sikep’s Patriarchy is still strongly dominating the principles, the philosophy of life for Samin society nowadays. The arranged marriage in people. The sikep’s principles mainly discuss Samin’s community conveys the fact that this about the processes how to be a better future issue of patriarchy does exist in a Javanese’s husband or wife before, later on, performing family, especially in the family relationship the real marriage. Listed below are the sikep’s and how the arranged marriage rituals occur principles: in their society.

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Journal of Language and Literature Vol. 19 No. 02 – October 2019 ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online)

Demen Waras

Demen conveys the same connotation as Waras means to avoid doing bad things to to like something, whereas the action of “like” others. It has a close connection with being itself does not always have connection with healthy in minds and attitude towards others. dealing a feeling of demen. People can like It is described as a good manner for human something even if they are only looking at the beings so that there is no fight between each appearance of a thing. Meanwhile, demen can other. It is used for Samin community to make be described as dealing with feelings of love. In peace with others. connection to Samin arranged marriage, this first sikep principle teaches people not only to Avoiding Jrengki, Srei, Panesten, see their future husband and wife from Dahpen, and Kemeren appearances. They need to love and accept them just the way they are. Jrengki means to be rude to others. Jrengki has the same connotation as doing bad things Becik to other. Srei means greedy. People who have srei to others commonly have desire to hurt Becik, in this philosophy of Samin way of his or her surroundings. Panesten conveys the life, means that human beings should treat meaning as having desire to make others others kindly. Later on, as marriage couples, easily get angry. Panesten is the characteristic by doing becik, both husband and wife can that ruins a peaceful life. Those who are complement each other. Becik is used as a panesten tend to be left behind by others. vehicle to live the life of married couples so Dahpen is described as a person who likes to that they would not do things that disobey the be in other’s business. Dahpen has the close common rules in society. connection with taking care about other’s business even without being asked. Kemeren is Rukun perceived as being jealous with others. To avoid jrengki, srei, panesten, dahpen, and Rukun for Samin’s community is used as a kemeren is needed to have a happily ever after source of living. Rukun means unity in married life. diversity. It is used by Samin community to maintain togetherness. When human beings To do the sikep’s principles as mentioned want to have peaceful life with others, above is a must for the Samin arranged especially with their own future husband or married. Samin people believe that marriage is wife, it needs to be noted that rukun is a must as sacred as it is a way to achieve good to have a good relation in a living. In short, it descendants and that is why parents are the can be said that a married life would not be one who hold the power of their children. The last long if there is no rukun. arranged marriage rituals itself started at the first time when the baby was born. Weton Seger (Javanese Calendar) is the main source of prediction to find the right partner of each Seger conveys the meaning of satisfaction. person. For Samin community, to decide the In the married life, seger is needed as the same weton for Samin arranged married expression of fulfilment. This principle can be rituals is the first process to do. The perfect perceived if only all the efforts are done by the couples, according to Samin, are those who human beings themselves. No matter what have 22, 26, or 27 as the total of their weton. It kind of condition might be faced, as long as is the responsibility of parents to decide and human beings live in the right path, seger is count the weton of their children. easy to be achieved. The next process of arranged marriage rituals is for the groom’s parents to come to the bride’s family. This process is called as nyuwuk, asking the bride’s and

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Journal of Language and Literature ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online) Fransiska Rahayu Myrlinda for marriage officially. However, in nyuwuk, The identity wants to be conveyed the bride has a right to accept or to refuse the . This shows that in Samin Even if today’s society often categorizes arranged marriage ritual, a woman has this arranged marriage rituals as an old freedom to choose her husband without any culture, by performing this marriage rituals, it enforcement from others. When the groom has can maintain the community’s existence from grown up, he has responsibility to come and extinction. Samin people believe that if they propose his bride. Samin people believe that perform marriage ritual same as the ordinary marriage has to be based on love and that is ones, as time goes by, their off springs might why it is also a must for asking the bride’s have forgotten about their existence. By doing permission. This differs from the Javanese arranged marriage ritual, it is also one of the adat which has many and spends ways for Samin community to preserve their high costs. In nyuwuk, there is no asok tukon or cultures. Therefore, from generation to mas kawin (bride’s price). Samin people generation they keep doing arranged marriage believe that asok tukon seems to be buying a to their children. woman. In fact, they are considered themselves as podo manungsane (having the Besides, Samin arranged marriage rituals same status as human beings). are performed without government involvement. They refuse kawin cara negara The last process of Samin arranged (marriage by government rules). In the Samin marriage rituals is diseksekno (witness Klopoduuwur community today which can be ). Based on adat, the task of the considered as more modern than the old bride’s is to organize this ceremony (to Samin community, after their marriage make them rukun). Meanwhile, the task of the ceremony, the couples report their marriage to bride’s is to give agreement for their the government to get a marriage certificate. relationship. In diseksekno, Samin people do In the past, Samin people did not report their not involve the government. This is because marriages. As the consequence, their off government authority is not seen as superior springs did not have birth certificates or to parents’ authority. That is why the marriage identity cards. They argued if they registered is considered “legal” even though it is their marriage, the government would record overseen only by parents. The Samin sesepuh them as the followers or local citizens. (the Samin elders) need to attend the ceremony as representative of Samin Conclusion community. People commonly think that arranged This ritual differs from ordinary Javanese marriage is an old fashion or even called as an custom in which marriages are performed by old tradition for our society nowadays. People naib (a local religious representative) or may think that the most important reason for pastur (a local Christian religious marrying others is because of the unbreakable representative). In diseksekno, the groom has feelings of love between them. Meanwhile, in to say sadat (Samin profession of faith). The the arranged marriage usually they know sadat contains the statement that the groom nothing about their future partner even they acknowledges the bride as batur urip (a friend don’t have any feeling to each other yet before for life) and promises to stay together forever the marriage ceremony happens. It conveys and nukulke wiji sejati (bear children). This the interpretation that arranged marriage will promise implies the meaning that Samin not achieve any good benefits. people believe marriage as a sacred ritual and it is only performed once. This ritual differs On the other hand, from the data from ordinary marriage ritual when is observed in this study show that an arrange categorized as legal for married couples. marriage can also has positive influences a community. Samin arrange marriage rituals, for example, convey the meanings that marriage can be used as the symbol bearer of

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Journal of Language and Literature Vol. 19 No. 02 – October 2019 ISSN: 1410-5691 (print); 2580-5878 (online) community’s existence towards today’s Ghimire, D. J., Axinn, W. G., Yabiku, S. T., & society. They do arranged marriage to protect Thornton, A. (2006). “Social Change, their community from extinction. Even the Premarital Nonfamily Experience, and marriage is performed based on the ’s Choice in an Arranged Marriage arrangement for their children, Samin people Society”. American Journal of Sociology, believe that marriage has to be based on love. 4(111), 1181 - 1218. That is also the reason why Samin arranged marriage rituals are held even at the first time Goldstein-Gidoni, Ofra. (2000). “The the baby was born. The most important figures Production of Tradition and Culture in the in Samin arranged married are parents. They Japanese Wedding Enterprise”. ETHNOS. do not involve the government, naib or even 65(1). Taylor and Francis, Ltd. 33 - 55. pastur to legalize the marriage since Samin ISSN 0014-1844. people believe that they are human beings who are not superior to parents. Moreover this article can also suggest future researcher(s) to develop it.

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