Bullying 101: Building a School Culture of Empathy and Kindness
PRESENTED BY: KIMBERLEY GASKILL M.ED. LPC, CSC Introductions
Kimberley K. Gaskill Elementary School Counselor at a Adams Hill Elementary, Northside Independent School District in San Antonio, Texas License Practicing Counselor National Certified School Counselor CREST 2018 winner Objectives of Workshop
Understand the roles of the bystander, victim and bully. What is known about the nature and prevalence of bullying? Why be concerned about bullying? What works and doesn’t work in bullying prevention and intervention? How are schools addressing bullying? Introduction activity
Each session participant will need a cut out heart.
Traditional Bullying
Is aggressive behavior that intends to cause harm or distress.
Usually is repeated over time.
Occurs in a relationship where there is an imbalance of power or strength. New form of bullying???
Cyberbullying can be considered a form of bullying done online through social networking sites, emails, or other form of online communication. When bullying someone online a person may use mean or offensive language to another person that results in feelings getting hurt. Types of Bullying Behaviors
Verbal Social Intimidation Physical
The Olweus Bullying Prevention Group, 2010 Traditional Bullying Behaviors
Types Direct Bullying Indirect Bullying Physical hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting, getting another person to assault stealing, locking in a confined someone, defacing property space
Verbal taunting, teasing, putdowns spreading rumors, gossip
Social Rating/ranking characteristics, deliberate exclusion from a group or manipulating friendship activity, cyberbullying Intimidation threats to harm, threats to Graffiti, cyberbullying reveal personal information, obscene gestures, taking possessions Bullying vs Teasing Teasing allows the teaser and the teased person to swap roles. motive is perceived as innocent. is not intended to hurt the other person. maintains the basic dignity of everyone involved. is discontinued when the teased person becomes upset or objects. Bullying vs Teasing Traditional Bullying is based on an imbalance of power. is intended to harm. involves humiliating, degrading and bigoted comments thinly disguised as jokes. includes laughter at, not laughter with. is meant to diminish the targets sense of self worth. continues especially when the target objects or becomes distressed. Gender and Age Similarities: Both boys and girls engage in frequent verbal bullying. G i r l s and boys engage in relational bullying. Differences: Boys are more likely to physically bully. Girls are more likely to use more subtle and indirect forms of bullying: social exclusion, rumor-spreading, friendship manipulation. Boys are bullied primarily by boys; girls are bullied by both boys and girls Research reflects that there are 3 roles in a bulling situation?
Bystander Those Who Bully Those Who Are Bullied/Victim Bystander Role
Followers: Take active part, but do not start the bullying Supporters – Witnesses the bullying incidents, but do not take active part Onlookers - Watch what happens, don’t take a stand, use “none of my business” excuse Possible Defenders - Dislike the bullying, think they should help, but don’t Defenders/Up-Standers - Dislike the bullying and help or try to help the victim/target (Based on Olweus and Limber, Bullying) Effects of Bullying on the Bystander Effects of Bullying on Bystanders Bystanders may feel afraid, powerless, guilty and can have diminished empathy for the victims. What do you tell the Bystander?
Report the bullying to a trusted adult Support someone who is being bullied Say you were sorry that happened to them Stand up to the person doing the bullying Only if it is safe Who is the Bully?
Bullying is a learned behavior. Bullies are taught to bully. There are 7 types of bullies:
BASED ON THE WORK OF BARBARA COLOROSO THE CONFIDENT BULLY: • Has a large ego and a sense of superiority. • Has a sense of entitlement.
THE SOCIAL BULLY: • Uses taunts, rumors, gossip and shunning. • Is jealous of the positive qualities of others. • Hides their poor sense of self. THE FULLY ARMORED BULLY: • Is cool and detached. • He is vicious and vindictive to his targets and charming and deceptive in front of others. • Has a flat affect.
THE HYPERACTIVE BULLY: • Struggles with academics and does not process social skills accurately. • Has trouble making friends. • “He hit me first.” THE BULLIED BULLY: • Is bullied by adults or older kids. • Strikes out viciously at those who hurt him/her or are smaller or weaker. • Is the least popular of the bully types.
THE BUNCH OF BULLIES: • A collective group of friends who want to make one person their scapegoat or wish to exclude that person. • Usually perceived as “nice kids”. THE GANG OF BULLIES: • A group drawn together in pursuit of control, domination, subjugation or power. • Lack empathy and remorse. • Have disregard for their lives and, therefore for the lives of their targets.
The bully counts on bystanders becoming involved in or supporting the bullying or at least doing nothing to stop it.
The Victim: Who is a target for bullying? The new kid on the block. The smallest and/or youngest kid is the school. The kid who has been traumatized and is sensitive and avoids peers. The kid who is submissive. The kid who has behaviors annoying to others. The kid who refuses to fight. The kid who is shy, reserved and timid. The kid who is rich or poor. • religion is considered as inferior. • The kid whose ethnicity is viewed as inferior Continue…..
The kid whose gender or sexual orientation is considered inferior. The kid who is bright, talented or gifted. The kid who is independent or concerned about social status, doesn’t conform to the norm. The kid who is fat or thin, short or tall. • The kid whose physical attributes are different from the norm. The kid with physical or mental disabilities. The kid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The bullied child becomes isolated from their peers and develops survival strategies rather than social skills. Secrecy for students involved in a bullying incidents.
Children have many reasons for not telling adults about bullying situations.
They are ashamed of being bullied.
They are afraid of retaliation. Continue…
They don’t think anyone will help.
They have bought into the lie that being bullied is part of growing up.
Although children do not tell us outright, they do give us clues. Clues/Warning Signs Shows an abrupt disinterest in school or refuses to go to school.
Takes an unusual route to go to school.
Suffers a drop in grades. Concentration suffers.
Withdraws from school and family activities. Wants to be alone. Clues continued….
Is hungry after school. Claims to have lost money for lunch or not be hungry at school.
Takes parents’ money and makes lame excuses for needing money.
Makes a beeline for the bathroom when they get home from school Continue Warning Signs
Is sad, sullen or scared after receiving phone calls or emails. Does something out of character. Stops talking abut peers and everyday activities. Uses demeaning or derogatory language when speaking about peers. Has disheveled, torn or missing clothing. Has physical injuries not consistent with explanation. Is exhausted. Has headaches, stomachaches and is unable to sleep Do’s for the bullied child…..
Assure the child that you believe them and that they are not alone with this problem.
Affirm that this is not their fault.
Establish that there are things that you can do and develop a plan.
Report the bullying to school personnel. Don’ts for the bullied child….
Don’t minimize or rationalize the bully’s behavior. Don’t rush to solve the problem for your child unless the child is in physical danger. Don’t tell your child to avoid the bully. Don’t tell the child to fight back. Don’t confront the bully or the bully’s parents David’s Law: State of Texas
David Molak, San Antonio Texas Committed suicide after the result of cyberbullying Senate Bill 179 Education Code
Law amends the Education Code provisions regarding bullying to better define and encompass cyberbullying. The education code encourages school districts to establish a district- wide policy related to bullying prevention and mediation. Provision for anonymous reporting for students, includes cyberbullying off campus and after school hours, and modifies the parental/guardian notification procedure. It provides flexibility in the disciplinary placement or the expulsion of students engaged in certain types of very serious bullying. It authorizes school principals to report certain incidents of bullying to local law enforcement, and provides protection from liability for doing so
(David's Legacy Foundation, 2017) What that means for Public Schools……
Prohibit bullying Not allow retaliation Provide Notice Counseling Services Reporting System The website http://www.davidslegacy.org David’s Law changes Section 42.07 of the Penal Code This is better known at the Harassment Statue
FOR MORE INFORMATION.. What can be done….
There needs to be a school environment of respect and empathy… What is Respect? 1. Looking someone in the eye when talking to them
2. Asking someone's permission before doing something
3. Using good manners like "please" and "thank you"
4. Talking politely and quietly, not shouting or being intimidating
5. Ask someone in the same their view of things and show genuine interest in what they are doing. 6. Showing someone genuine interest in what they're doing
7. Don't put people down harshly and make sure everyone is included.
8. Get to know people properly, don't fake an interest, find some common ground and talk about-it will lead to other conversations and you'll learn a lot about that person without being nosey or rude Declaration of Respect
School Wide Imitative
Students and Campus Staff Sign Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want (and need) to be treated. What is Empathy?
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Lessons: Monica and Katie have been friends since kindergarten. Monica loves being around her when she’s nice. But there are times when Katie can be just plain mean. And Monica doesn’t understand why. With a little help from her mom Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming her power from Katie. Jack's friend, Charlie, knows how to get away with just about everything: “If you get caught, just say you're sorry.” But does an apology count if you don't really mean it? And what happens when the person you've hurt knows you don't mean it? Jack's about to find out there's a whole lot more to a real apology than a simple “sorry!” Class Meetings
Establish Ground Rules These are simply “givens” of student conduct and participation. These ground rules should be kept to a minimum, but should include a policy of mutual respect and the procedures for listening/speaking to allow for fair access to the discussions.
Buddy Classes
Younger grade levels being buddied up with upper level classes. Meeting several times a year to do activities and being partners. Kahootz
Kahoot.it Resources
Coloroso, B. (2002). The Bullied,the Bullied and the Bystander. New York: Harper Collins.
David's Legacy Foundation. (2017). Education Code. Retrieved from David's Legacy foundation: http://www.davidslegacy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Davids-Law-One-Pager-R2.pdf
Department of Education. (2012, June 27). Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools. Retrieved from U.S. Department of Education: www2.ed.gov
National Center for Education Statistics. (2014-15). Digest of Education Statistics. Retrieved from U.S. Deparment of Education: https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d16/tables/dt16_214.30.asp?current=yes
Northside ISD. (2017, January 13). Northside Independent School District. Retrieved from Facts and Figures: https://nisd.net/administration/facts-and-figures Contact Information
Kimberley Gaskill: [email protected]