Shalom tidingsaugust/september 2014 God Has Called Me From Darkness Into His Marvelous

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ary our M Shalom World Catholic Channel is also mother, may we trust available on Tablets across different in the guidance of your platforms. motherhood to lead our lives to your Son and His love. Amen.

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lessed of Calcutta once shared an incident in her life. Mother came to know that a Hindu family living near the convent was starving, having had no food to eat for three Bdays. When she heard this, Mother Teresa immediately took some rice that was already prepared for dinner in the convent and rushed to the home of the Hindu family. Their house was dilapidated. There, Mother saw the faces of starving children. She gave the rice to the grief-stricken mother. The mother accepted the rice and went out into the courtyard saying, “Sister, I will be back soon.” Mother Teresa remained at the home wondering where the woman could have gone before feeding her starving children. When she returned, she explained to Mother, “Sister, just like us, a neighboring Muslim family has also been starving for the last three days. I went to give them a portion of the rice you brought for us.” In this poor woman, Mother Teresa saw greater charity than was in her own heart. We sometimes say, “If I had some more [money, food, stuff, etc.], I could share it with others” or “What I have is not even enough for me.” This is the attitude of so many of us. The poor woman in Mother Teresa’s story, however, is proof that we are all able to help others, regardless of the limitations that we face. Those of us who are unwilling to give to others from the little that we have will also find it difficult to give when we have more. Likewise, those who do not have the time now to spend with God will never get the time to be with Him later. When we are willing to give, God will entrust us with more. This truth is very much applicable in our spiritual life and in our ministerial works. Those who give are the ones who grow. Those who are not ready to lose anything will be unable to do anything for God. Those who are not ready to give to God their time and talent show that they do not desire to grow spiritually. Their prayers will be futile and their desire for graces will not come to fruition. What we are given is meant to be shared with others. How much can we give?—that is the criterion for our spiritual growth. Jesus said: “Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you” (Luke 6:38).

Prayer: Lord, we understand that it is sometimes selfishness which motivates our spiritual quest. “What will I get?” is often our concern. Only when we begin to think, “What can I do for others?” will we rise from a worldly person into a spiritual person. Lord, everything we have, we have received from You. What You have given to us is meant to be shared with others. We are sorry for having used our gifts selfishly. God, give us the grace to build up the Kingdom of God by freely sharing what we have with others. Amen.

benny punnathara

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 3 Contents

Engage 5 crawling To Mass | jean elizabeth seah 6 The Saints Empower Women | haley stewart PATRON, SHALOM MINISTRIES 8 What I Would Say To Myself Freshmen Year | virginia baumbach H.E. Baselios Cardinal Cleemis Major Archbishop-Catholicos of the 10 five Ways the Eucharist Erases the Effects of Original Sin | stephen beale Syro-Malankara

PATRONS Bishop Mar Angadiath, Encounter Syro-Malabar Diocese, Chicago 14 Why I Chose Love | jake stanwood Bishop Thomas Mar Eusebius, Syro-Malankara Exarchate, USA 16 Dear Engaged Couples | barbra lishko Spiritual Director 18 growing With Mary | kineke Father Roy Palatty, C.M.I. 21 Remember Your Testimony and Your Toothbrush | joe philip Editor-in-Chief Chevalier Benny Punnathara 23 Holy Detachment | scott m. anthony Contributing Editor Joe Philip

Enjoy Editorial Council John, Jithin Joseph, Mary , 26 Once Upon A Time There Was A Banana | theresa thomas Jinto Mathew, Santimon Jacob 28 five Ways To Love Your Wife | sam guzman Design Mustard Tree 30 Telling My Daughters They Are Beautiful | luke arredondo 31 Why Instant Gratification Never Gratifies | anne marie miller 32 Living Your Résumé Or Your Eulogy? | tony agnesi

Evangelize 35 The Value Of A Smile | katherine scott 36 Are You Building the Kingdom of God? | dr. jacqueline 38 The Gift of a Christian Death? | brother chapman, o.p. SHALOM TIDINGS August/September 2014 (ISSN 2327- 40 Vehicle To The Priesthood | father john riccardo 4549) is published every two months by Shalom Media USA Inc., 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas 42 book Review: Making Gay Okay | dr. jeff mirus 78539. Periodicals postage pending at Edinburg, Texas, and additional mailing offices.

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4 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 CRAWLING TO MASS By Jean Elizabeth Seah

ix years ago, I read an article about a legless African girl called Olivia, who crawled 2.5 miles Sto Mass every Sunday, sometimes with the sun- beaten road burning her hands. She was not even a baptized Catholic. Her determination to get to the Holy Sacrifice has stayed with me all these years. I am spoiled—my homeland is Singapore, where there is usually a Catholic church within a few minutes’ drive or a short bus ride away, depending on where you live in our small city-state. Masses are offered every day at dawn, noon, and sunset, and we have several perpetual adoration chapels, as well as various well-attended novenas. At the Australian Catholic liberal arts college I am attending, we have Mass on campus twice a day every weekday (but not on Sundays, in order to encourage us to go out and participate in the wider community).

Excuses, Excuses Every Mass is a taste of Heaven—and Heaven is out of this world. Mass is Yet, especially as an introvert, I have often been tempted meant to be different than everyday life. We cannot go to Mass expecting to to just vegetate at home (in Singapore) or sometimes in be entertained. The liturgy is where we encounter and worship our Heavenly my college room and not make the little sacrifice to go Creator—God is the center, not us. Just as Jews believe they are present at out and meet Our Lord. Sometimes I think of the silliest the original Passover whenever they celebrate that holy day, so do we believe excuses: today I had a giant pimple on my chin and I that we are present at the foot of Calvary in the Mass. thought of how it would disgust the priest as he laid the We may not be physically legless like Olivia, but we are all crippled in Blessed Sacrament upon my tongue. Thanks be to God, some way. Jesus and Our Lady were the only perfect humans who walked this my guardian angel gave me a good mental poke and I Earth after the fall. We need God the Divine physician to heal our infirmities saw how stupid an excuse that was! and give us the strength to help one another. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is an unsurpassable way to start your mornings with your focus on Christ, or Falling in Love to give you strength and sanctifying grace in the middle Moreover, if we want to go to paradise and spend eternity with God, we of your work, or to end off a long, weary day and offer have to start working on our relationship with Him today. If you really love it all up to God. Just think about it—it is where God our someone, you would feel like spending all your time with him, getting to know Creator comes down from Heaven just to meet us and him better and displaying your love in acts of service. Well, who better to love give Himself to us as nourishment so that we may enter than Love Himself? And where better than the Mass to encounter Him? He eternal life with Him! Do not make your King wait—go, will teach you how to love the people who come into your life. God does most receive Him today in the Word and in the Eucharist! of the work in your relationship with Him—you just have to trust Him, open Sure, some people have the misconception that the door to Him, listen to Him, and allow Him to enter and transform your Mass is boring. After enjoying the beautiful liturgies in my life. Olivia knew that and she crawled to Mass. Let us imitate her exquisite college chapel, during these summer holidays I stayed example of pure love. away from weekday Mass in my home parish for a while, thinking that the lack of glorious music and lovely sacred JEAN ELIZABETH SEAH is a law graduate who is happily pursuing her dream liberal arts degree furnishings would repulse me and make me feel jaded. at Campion College, Australia. She has had several adventures with Our Lord and Our Lady, Then I realized just how well written and powerful the including joining a convent after law school. The journey is tough and the path ahead is foggy, priests’ homilies are! They are exactly what I need to hear but she knows that as long as you hold firmly onto Our Lady’s hand, you’ll make it through! She to live out my baptismal promises in this modern world. blogs at http://signum-crucis.tumblr.com/ and http://allthingscatholic.tumblr.com/.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 5 The Saints Empower

Women By Haley Stewart

6 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 want to share with you how learning speaks volumes to the respect the Church about the saints and doctors of the has for a woman’s mind. There is certainly IChurch taught me to love the diversity a higher percentage of women included and strength of women in the communion here than I encountered in the texts of saints. studied in any of my Philosophy classes. Before converting to Catholicism I One of these amazing Doctors of the felt my gifts did not fit in anywhere in Church, refused the Church. It was not until I started to accept the role her family had in mind learning about the saints that I discovered for her: to marry well in medieval Italy. that there is a place for everyone. Just Instead, this holy woman devoted herself because the Church teaches that men to a life of consecrated virginity. She and women have different roles does not was illiterate (until later in life when she mean that Catholic women are rigidly was given the ability to read and write boxed into a narrow “type.” There are holy by supernatural means) but became the women who are completely different from advisor of and political leaders. each other and each Christian is called During a time of great turmoil for the to display Christ’s love in a unique and Church, this strong and brave woman held beautiful way. If each of us were a stained great sway and blessed the Church with glass window, we would have our own her holy guidance. unique image to display the light of Christ. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, on the So what types of women are honored other hand, was not a public figure by as saints of the Church? any stretch of the imagination, and her desire was to serve God There are warriors. Saint certainly did not fit into a through “the little way” or the ordinary, everyday tasks of one’s life. traditional female role. Born a peasant, she was not a homemaker, She lived a cloistered life and died very young of tuberculosis. Yet, mother, wife or nun. She was a fearless military leader. Yet, she the writings she left behind are honored next to those of popes is held up as a model of Christian devotion. This is an interesting and bishops. She is, in fact, the youngest of all the Doctors of the choice for a Church that was criticized for wanting all its women Church. barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Saint was a medieval abbess and a There are mothers. A striking juxtaposition to Saint Joan is Saint polymath, musician, poet, illuminator, philosopher, theologian, Elizabeth Anne Seton, a fellow convert, loving wife and mother, and and visionary. During the era misnamed the “dark age,” Saint a lover of literature. She was devoted to education and service Hildegard’s stunning intellect and writings shone with her vibrant and she was the first native-born American to be declared a saint! faith. Even as a little girl, decades before my conversion, I was There is also Saint Monica, the holy mother of Saint Augustine, intrigued by Saint Hildegard’s fascinating life and intelligence. whose faithful prayers ushered him into the faith. Or Saint Saint Teresa of Avila was a Carmelite nun, mystic, and an Gwen, my confirmation saint, who gave birth to three saints, was influential writer of the Counter Reformation era. Her great works, kidnapped by Anglo-Saxon pagans, escaped twice and was later such as “The Interior Castle,” are prized for their insights on the martyred. contemplative life and mental prayer. There are holy virgins. Take , for example, who fiercely Warriors, mothers, martyrs, aristocrats, peasants, academics defied being bullied into an unwanted marriage with a pagan or illiterate, there is room for everyone. Getting to know the saints Roman, undergoing the cruelest tortures her persecutors could has given me a new perspective of a “woman’s role” in the Church. imagine. She remained devoted to her Christian faith—despite It is not narrow. It is not rigid. There is a place for everyone to be her torturers’ attempts to blind her, burn her and send her to a celebrated for the gifts God has given them and the unique way brothel—and was martyred for her faith. they can serve His Holy Church. No story is the same. No woman is the same. By holding up these amazing women for all Christians to emulate, the Church affirms that women are courageous, strong, persevering, faithful, intelligent, influential and valuable. Perhaps even more astonishing than the diversity of female Haley Stewart lives in the Southern with her bearded husband, three saints, especially considering the inequality in education that kids, and seven backyard chickens. She went to a Baptist college and surprised women have encountered throughout history, there are four women herself by coming home Catholic. When she gets a moment to herself, she loves who are named Doctors of the Church, a rare title that elevates to read Austen, Waugh, and O’Connor with a strong cup of coffee in hand. Stewart their writings as greatly influential works that are helpful to the muses about cultivating a Catholic family through literature, liturgical living, and Church. To put this in perspective, there are only two popes who are urban homesteading at her blog “Carrots for Michaelmas.” She just released her first named Doctors of the Church. I always thought that only folks like eBook, “Feast! Real Food, Reflections and Simple Living for the Christian Year.” This Saint held that sort of honor. Not so. I think this article originally appeared on Catholic Exchange (www.CatholicExchange.com).

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 7 What I Would Say To Myself Freshman Year

By Virginia Baumbach

f I could travel in time, I would deliver this letter to myself Searching in Darkness before the beginning of my freshman year of college. Never forget this: no one will ever understand you fully ISince I am not able to do that, I will publish it here. except for your Creator. Embrace that now and do not You are about to start college. Hold on tight, because let it drive you to depression years later when you are it is going to be a bumpy ride. College, for you, is going to searching endlessly to be understood by someone. Stop be a time of God breaking you, in ways you cannot even seeking that now. Instead, recognize the deep desire comprehend right now. But do not be scared; it is worth in you to be understood and to be wanted. Everyone it. Remember, the flame that burns also refines. By the has that desire and it is not a bad thing. God created end of your sophomore year, you will be so humbled that you that way. It is the driving force behind many of our you will be unable to judge anyone again. That is a good actions and sometimes those actions can be futile. thing, but a hard road that leads to that. Recognize this force; it is more powerful than you realize. It will leave you clinging on with clenched fists and white knuckles to things that are of this world: relationships,

8 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 people, bad habits, etc. Nothing in this world will make over again, every day, to every person, like Jesus gives you feel completely known and completely wanted. His body and blood at every sacrifice of the Mass. It is After you search high and low to fulfill this desire, you you giving every part of your life to Him. It is you loving will feel empty. Probably more empty than ever, because the people that are hardest to love. It is you loving your there is usually sin involved in the chasing. Sin is like a family. It is you accepting all humiliations. black hole—it creates emptiness and total destruction You are going to feel so overwhelmed with how far wherever it goes. Its daughter is guilt, the ghost that you have to go, but I think every saint feels that way on relentlessly haunts every heart. You will never feel more earth. Do not focus on yourself and how bad or how alone, never feel more unwanted, more rejected, more good you are. Examine your conscience daily, confess forgotten, more unworthy. You will avoid God. You might your sins, repent and ask for the grace to try again keep chasing more things, but eventually you will feel tomorrow. Put 100% of yourself into each moment. You that the desire will never be fulfilled, that you will never cannot do this if you have part of your heart in the past be happy and that you are a failure. So your actions or part of your mind in the future. become less about being known and wanted and more Do not try to save the world or become a saint in one about surviving each day—the struggle to simply live, the day. A good place to start is to pray daily and do one struggle to numb the pain, the struggle to blindly fight thing that you do not want to do to serve someone else. through the fog of your thoughts. You will be lower than The rest of the time, listen to God and say yes to Him. To you thought you could be. do this, you actually have to listen. Sit still. Turn off the music and the phone and the distractions. Do not worry The Road Out about what you are supposed to do with your life. God The only way out is Jesus. He is the light in an otherwise will tell you in His perfect timing. If one day He tells you black tunnel that seems to keep shrinking and shrinking. to go join a convent or move to the inner city or go to You have heard this a million times, but you will not fully that school, go do it. But until then, stay where He has understand what it means until you are desperate and put you. have nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to. Be disciplined. Sanctification lies in the little Some people reach this point early in life, some after things. Clean your room, wash your clothes, eat well, years and years and some have to hit it several times. exercise, and do your work. You cannot say yes to God You are going to hit it at twenty years old. in the big ways that you dream about if you do not say Look at Jesus. Sit in the chapel. Sit in prayer. Just be yes to Him in the little ways. You still have the desire to with Him. Like , you cannot look at God without be wanted and to be known. Open up every part of your being changed. Once you look at Him, you will see Him heart to Jesus so that He can satiate that desire. This on the cross. You will see pain and agony written in blood is not a one-time action, but an action you must make on His body but love in His eyes. You will hear Him say, “I every day until you die. Use that desire to recognize it in thirst” and realize it is your soul for which He thirsts—the others and seek instead to understand and love someone you that nailed Him to the cross by your sins. He thirsts else. You were created to be a relational person. In your for the you that yells, “Crucify Him, crucify Him!” relationships, do not have any expectations of the other You cannot look at the deep, bloody wounds of Jesus person. See Jesus in every single person. Treat everyone and not feel wanted. He knows you and loves you. He like you would treat Jesus because He thirsts for them as would not create you with a desire that He cannot fulfill. much as He thirsted for you. You just have to accept His love. The theme of college might seem like God breaking you, but that is only the subtitle. It is ultimately about The Invitation Jesus thirsting for your heart and stopping at nothing to How do you accept it? Like Mary’s fiat, you say “yes” to get it. Jesus—whatever He asks of you, because He first loved you. That is how you love Jesus. It is not by thinking nice thoughts about Him or wearing a necklace of Him or VIRGINIA BAUMBACH is a junior at Auburn University, studying special speaking the Christian language with empty, over-used education. She was raised in a Presbyterian home but, along with the phrases. It is saying yes to Him. It is taking up your rest of her family, converted to Catholicism during her freshman year of cross and following Him to your death. It is a death in college. She was confirmed at Easter in 2013. Currently, she is involved and of itself. as a student leader with FOCUS at Auburn. Find her on Twitter @ It is you sacrificing yourself to Him and to every single virginiakayeb. Reprinted with permission from FOCUS Blog (www.focus. person around you. It is you pouring out yourself over and org/blog)

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 9 5 WAYS THE EUCHARIST ERASES THE EFFECTS OF ORIGINAL SIN

By Stephen Beale

n that seemingly dismal specter that was Golgotha, the Church has always Iseen hints of the Garden of Eden. Saint Paul writes that just as the entire human race sinned and died in , so also all were redeemed and restored to new life (Romans 5, 1 Corinthians 15). Taking its cue from Saint Paul, the Church has drawn further parallels. Just as Christ was a second Adam, Mary was a second Eve. Just as a tree was once the scene of so much sin, a tree (the cross) became the source of so much grace. Each figure or element from the Genesis account is annulled by a greater reality in the gospels, so the thinking goes. So what about the forbidden fruit? Catholics do not have to look very far for an answer. It is a reality we encounter every Sunday (or daily) at Mass: the Eucharist. How exactly does the Eucharist undo the eating of the forbidden fruit? Here are five answers from Church fathers, doctors, mystics, and other theologians:

10 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 1. Obedient Eating. On the surface, to an intense level by constantly fasting longed for thy commandments.” According the eating of the fruit involved the sin of and being nourished both physically and to Saint , the Eucharist restores disobedience against God, who had in spiritually by the Eucharist alone. This is the this longing for God’s word: “[W]e, being no uncertain terms told Adam not to do ultimate purpose of fasting: to remind us nourished, as it were, from the breast of it (Genesis 2:16). In the Gospel account, that our nourishment—that our source of His flesh, and having, by such a course of Christ’s supreme moment of obedience life—does not consist in the visible material milk nourishment, become accustomed world. To fast in this world is to feast in to eat and drink the word of God, may be heaven. able also to contain in ourselves the Bread of immortality, which is the Spirit of the 3. Humble Food. On a deeper level, original Father” (Against Heresies, 4.38.1). sin involved pride. This view is based on Genesis 3:22, “Then the LORD God said: 5. Medicine of Immortality. The Eucharist See! The man has become like one of us, not only undoes the first sin, it also reverses knowing good and evil!” According to this its consequences, which traditionally has view, then, Adam and Eve were guilty of the been understood to be bodily corruption pride of wanting to be like God. Actually, and death. The Church fathers had a vivid we can be more specific than this: the sin awareness of the Eucharist as a pledge was not so much wanting to become like and guarantee of our future resurrection God as wanting to become like Him through and incorruption in heaven. In communing our own means, to reach God on our own. with the Body of He Who rose from the This was completely reversed through the dead, we, too, will share in the same fate, Incarnation, in which God chose to become so they reasoned. Hence, Saint Ignatius

Photo: Nancy Bauer / Shutterstock.com one of us, thereby showing us the true way of Antioch—as he was heading to his to God was through humility that submits to impending martyrdom—called the Eucharist Him and His grace. As Saint Augustine put it the “medicine of immortality” and the in “The City of God,” the true path to heaven “antidote to prevent us from dying.” Saint also centers on an act of eating. “My Father, is humility. The Eucharist not only serves described it as the if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; as a visible reminder of Christ’s great “antidote” to the “poison.” Whomever tastes yet, not as I will, but as You will,” Christ cried humiliation—not only did He become man, the Eucharist, added Saint , “shall out in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew but He even became food for us!—but also, not be able to feel corruption.” Likewise, 26:39). In eating the Eucharist, then, we in eating it, we participate in that humility. Theodore of Mopsuestia referred to it as participate in Christ’s obedience—not only “immortal nourishment.” because the Eucharist is the body and 4. Desire for God and His Word. On For those who want to further explore blood of the One who was obedient, but an even deeper level, Adam and Eve the relationship between the Eucharist also because Christ’s obedient drinking ultimately failed to desire God and His and the forbidden fruit, a recommended from the cup is itself a continuation of the word, choosing instead the sensible things reading is Notre Dame theologian Ann Eucharistic feast He celebrated with His of this world. We might ask specifically Astell’s wonderful book, “Eating Beauty: disciples. what “word of God” were Adam and Eve to The Eucharist and the Spiritual Arts of the desire? After all, the only words from God Middle Ages.” Astell shows how four major 2. Eucharistic Feasting. In another they had received were the double-sided spiritualities of the Middle Ages—Cistercian, sense, the first sin could be viewed as invitation to eat some fruit, paired with the Dominican, Franciscan and Jesuit—were one of gluttony, which is the position of command to refrain from other fruit. Are we shaped by their interpretations both of the Church fathers like Tertullian and, to some to desire the commands of God? Indeed original sin and how the Eucharist reversed it. extent, Saint Irenaeus. The first remedy, we are! As Psalm 119:131 declares, “I as advocated by both fathers, is fasting; opened my mouth and panted: because I but this is incomplete. We are called to fast as well as to feast: the original sin of gluttony must be undone not only by STEPHEN BEALE is a freelance writer based in Providence, Rhode Island. Raised as an evangelical Protestant, he abstaining from “bad” food, but also by is a convert to Catholicism. He is a former news editor at GoLocalProv.com and was a correspondent for the New eating “good” food. The Eucharist combines Hampshire Union Leader, where he covered the 2008 presidential primary. He has appeared on Fox News, C-SPAN, both imperatives of fasting and feasting. and the Today Show and his writing has been published in the Washington Times, Providence Journal, the National Today, in the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Catholic Register and on MSNBC.com and ABCNews.com. A native of Topsfield, Massachusetts, he graduated from Churches fasting precedes reception of Brown University in 2004 with a degree in classics and history. His areas of interest include Eastern Christianity, the Eucharistic feast. Some saints, like Marian and Eucharistic theology, medieval history and the saints. He welcomes tips, suggestions and any other Saint Catherine of Siena, took this idea feedback at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/StephenBeale1.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 11 Will you help a Dominican Brother in formation!

Saint Dominic was born in Spain in 1170. He became a priest and passionately preached the Good News of the Lord. To continue this mission of preaching he founded The Order of Preachers, commonly known as the “Dominicans.” Although the earliest record of a Dominican in India dates back to 1291, the new spring time of the Order began with the arrival of the Dominican friars of the Province of Ireland in 1959. In 1997 the Indian Dominicans became an independent province. Presently the Dominicans work in the Indian states of Assam, Delhi, Jharkhand, Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh, Goa, Karnataka, Kerala, and Bihar. There are 91 ordained priests and more than 100 brothers under various stages of formation.

You too can be part of the mission of the Order by sponsoring a part or the full expenses for the education of a brother in formation. Kindly send your contributions to this noble cause. Be assured of our prayerful support. Your monetary support can be made out to: Dominican Fathers Nagpur Society

And mailed to: OR Reverend Father John Kusumalayam, Reverend Father George Kumblumoottil, O.P. O.P. Satya Nilaya St. Charles Seminary, Seminary Hills 4M-512, HRBR 2nd Block Extension Nagpur—440006 Chelikere Main Road, Kalyan Nagar PO Maharashtra, India Bangalore—560043 E-mail:[email protected] ATLANTA, GA SACRAMENTO, CA Karnataka, India E-mail: [email protected] Sep 06 Sep 13 www.dominicansindia.org DETROIT, MI SAN ANTONIO, TX Sep 20 Sep 27-28 Call for writers FEATURING Shalom Tidings seeks to bring the hope found in Christ through His Church to the world. Most Rev Abp Most Rev Bp Most Rev ArchBp Fr Roy Palatty CMI Fr Glenn Sudano CFR Fr Bob Hogan Fr Will Combs Fr George Augustine Wilton D Gregory Michael J Byrnes Gustavo García-Siller Fostering a kerygmatic and charismatic spirit, our mission is to share personal stories, practical Archbishop of Atlanta Archdiocese of Detroit Archdiocese of San Antonio teaching, and faith-filled reflections on how people of all ages are responding to the call to conversion and holiness that not only leads to their joy but bears fruit in the world through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Dcn Ralph Poyo Dr Mary Healy Dr Mark Nimo Bob Rice Jim Murphy Robert Valiante

ENGAGE: provide insight ENCOUNTER: show how Christ ENJOY: celebrate the joy, EVANGELIZE: inspire others on issues which impact has revealed Himself through challenges, and victories through stories of men and POWERFUL TALKS BY INTERNATIONAL PREACHERS culture through a Catholic experiences that give hope of living as a in all women of all ages on mission CELEBRATION OF THE HOLY EUCHARIST | SPIRIT-REVIVING PRAYER SESSIONS worldview that is faithful to and inspire others to seek stages of Christian life. as they use their talents to the Magisterium of the Church, Him, whether they are new to respond to the call to take the SOUL-STIRRING MUSIC | INSPIRING TESTIMONIES pastoral in its approach, and the journey or they walk daily Gospel out to the world. speaks to a popular audience. with Christ. CELEBRATE LIFE WITH JESUS We welcome articles by writers who are with the Church and for the Church. Articles should be between 700 and 900 words. Author bios should also be included. Please note that the Editorial Council reserves the right to edit all submissions. For more information and to A Catholic conference, covered by television submit articles, please e-mail [email protected]. For more information on each event and to register, visit www.ShalomWorld.org Shalom Media USA Inc, 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas 78539 12 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 ATLANTA, GA SACRAMENTO, CA Sep 06 Sep 13

DETROIT, MI SAN ANTONIO, TX Sep 20 Sep 27-28

FEATURING

Most Rev Abp Most Rev Bp Most Rev ArchBp Fr Roy Palatty CMI Fr Glenn Sudano CFR Fr Bob Hogan Fr Will Combs Fr George Augustine Wilton D Gregory Michael J Byrnes Gustavo García-Siller Archbishop of Atlanta Archdiocese of Detroit Archdiocese of San Antonio

Dcn Ralph Poyo Dr Mary Healy Dr Mark Nimo Bob Rice Jim Murphy Robert Valiante

POWERFUL TALKS BY INTERNATIONAL PREACHERS CELEBRATION OF THE HOLY EUCHARIST | SPIRIT-REVIVING PRAYER SESSIONS SOUL-STIRRING MUSIC | INSPIRING TESTIMONIES CELEBRATE LIFE WITH JESUS A Catholic conference, covered by television For more information on each event and to register, visit www.ShalomWorld.org Shalom Media USA Inc, 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas 78539 WHY I CHOSE

JOURNEY OF A CATHOLIC WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION LOVE By Jake Stanwood

14 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 e love you no matter what sexual orientation you should follow it. When we pursue sexuality outside of the way God choose to live out.” These are the words of a father designed for it to be we can find ourselves in messy situations. “Wto me, his fifteen-year-old son, ten years ago. Umm Hence the high promiscuity, infidelity, and sexually transmitted … awkward? Until that point my dad had never talked to me about disease (STD) rates associated with the gay community. But of sex and the topic was never again mentioned. I remember every course the media will never portray it this way; living a gay lifestyle little detail about the conversation: the sweaty palms, cold freezing is portrayed as glamorous and fulfilling. I am not saying that every office space, and the awkwardness created by the long wooden gay person is living a promiscuous life and is carrying an STD. I desk separating us from talking like normal people. How did I have many friends who identify as gay who are hard workers and respond? I said nothing. Absolutely nothing. I stared at him with a are doing awesome things with their lives. However, I will not deny blank face and ran back into my room crying and thinking about that amongst the “gay scene” multiple partners and infidelity rates how I ever got into this mess. are pretty high. Homosexuality has to be identified more with “Great, even my parents think I’m gay.” “That person at school behavior than with identity. That is how the gay movement has thinks I’m gay too, maybe it’s because of the way I talk.” “Wait, progressed so much—they have turned it into its own culture. The maybe I should change the way I talk? That will make me look minute we reduce ourselves to our sexual orientation, we lose sight manlier.” “Crap, that person is totally staring at me and thinks I’m of who we really are. gay.” These are just a few of the crazy thoughts that constantly I have chosen to never engage in a sexual relationship with ruminated in my head. Talk about feeling paranoid. It always felt as another guy and remain celibate, despite the fact there are times if I was split in between two worlds. One side was telling me, “Just I feel the ache of this desire. This may seem like a total fail in the come out of the closet, hook up with someone, embrace the fact eyes of the world, but am I really missing out on much? Chastity that you’re gay!” The other (far less appealing) side said, “If anyone gives me so much more. It gives me the ability to live out healthy ever finds out, you’re dead!! Don’t ever talk about this to anyone.” and loving relationships with both men and women. It is giving me Praise God, He created a Church that has given me a third the opportunity to bring healing to areas of my masculinity that option, one that does not seem like it is going to drown me in lust have been gravely wounded. It respects me for who I am, allows or turn me into a stoic who is being internally destroyed by his me to appreciate beauty and recognize the dignity in every person. desires. I have chosen chastity—the path toward authentic love and This has involved a lot of wrestling with God. Many people think sexual self-control. wrestl ing with God is a bad thing. FALSE. You can only wrestle Is this easy? NO. with someone who is close to you, so in a way wrestling with these The sexual temptations have always been there for me and I attractions has drawn me closer to God. It is a cross, but with every suppose they always will be. I am not afraid to admit that until the cross the Lord is always right beside us. day I die I will probably always be attracted to men. However, I do Yes, I realize that I will not always get what I want. I cannot tell not think this aspect of my cross has been the greatest struggle. The you about the hundreds of days I felt I just wanted someone to greatest struggle has been my interior life. Experiencing same-sex hold and be intimate with. Sometimes I look at happy couples and attraction (SSA) and being Catholic is hard (well, being Catholic is wonder if I am missing out. But, I understand that fulfillment goes hard). It is a unique/heavy cross to carry and a very painful one. It much deeper than wanting someone around. I find fulfillment by comes with its share of anxiety, heartache, tears, and boogers. being in relationship with God who created me to be fulfilled by Those of us men who have SSA struggle with a lot. Among Him and in community. those things are body image, father wounds, bouts of depression, The truth is, I love being Catholic. The Church loves me. It feeling less masculine, and a lot of us are not good at sports desires what is best for me and, sometimes, this kind of love hurts. (which makes it harder for us to bond with other men). Growing However, in the long run it guides me to a much more fulfilling up I always felt different and uncomfortable around other men, life and a more adventurous one. The Church is not a bigoted as if I was unworthy to even be called a man. However, I think it is institution that hates gays. Quite the opposite. I have never met as especially difficult to carry out this chaste lifestyle in the midst of many loving and understanding people as I have in the Catholic today’s hyper-sexual culture. Church. I am incredibly fortunate! I have many friends in the The culture today has become increasingly pro-gay. Just take a Church who know about my struggle and are there to support and look at shows like “Glee” or “Modern Family” or anything to do with encourage me along the way. I have a choir of saints and angels Lady Gaga—this stuff did not build up overnight. While the debate who are constantly interceding for me, a mother in heaven that over the Defense of Marriage Act was taking place, my Facebook deeply loves me and a God who bears His very self in the Eucharist newsfeed exploded with red equal signs. The younger generation each and everyday. If you ask me…I have hit the jackpot. has become largely accepting of the gay community. I am glad that people are starting to become less homophobic and are speaking against gay bullying. However, this does not mean that I JAKE STANWOOD (pseudonym) is a writer and speaker who has shared the message of am for gay marriage or that I think people should pursue same sex chastity with thousands of people. He graduated from college in 2012 and since then relationships. has devoted himself to serving the Church through mission work. This blog originally It just does not fit human sexuality or natural law. Just because appeared on “Think Catholic.” Reprinted with permission from the Chastity Project I have an inclination to do something does not mean that I (www.ChastityProject.com).

aUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 15 DEAR ENGAGED COUPLES By Barbara Lishko

ne of the things I hear the most from engaged Marriage points to something bigger than the two of couples is that they do not pray together. This is you—it points to heaven. So spend your life giving Ocrucial for a successful marriage. Remember that yourself away every day, moment to moment, especially marriage is a covenant relationship. It takes three—bride, when it is hard. Real love is not a feeling. You cannot fall groom and God. No more than we can imagine a day going into it, and you cannot fall out of it. It is a choice every by without speaking to one another, so it is with God. single day to seek what is best for the other in all times Together go to Him who created you, thought you into and places. Not a 50/50 kind of conditional love the existence and brought you together. Tell Him what is on world expects, but a 100/100% of the time, I am not your minds, ask for His assistance in times of need, for going anywhere kind of love. yourselves, for those whom you know … and do not know. In striving to give yourself away, you will discover Ask Him to bless you both so you may seek to be the yourself and the sweet aroma of selfless love. You receive public witness of love this world so desperately needs. when you give your all, as impossible as that sounds. Beg Him to teach you how to love each other rightly, Know that you are never alone in your efforts and that in imitation of His limitless love for us. It is only through God wants more than anything for your marriage to thrive, Him that we can love each other properly, unselfishly, for your family to grow, for your witness to be so authentic purely. Be grateful, gracious and generous to each other. it draws others to His love. If not your witness, then whose? If not your marriage Your goal is to get each other to heaven and then to imitate, then where shall others look to see this to do the same together for your children. If you do not love that never ends, never surrenders or gives up on make this eternal destination your focus, what, then, the other, no matter the circumstance? Your witness is will be? Strive to grow in holiness, patience, forgiveness. critical. Others are watching, do not think they are not. It will not be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. Is it really possible to love another until death in this The rewards are incredible as your love discovers and day and age? Is it conceivable to spend a lifetime in rediscovers the depth of this other human soul, uniquely love with just him or her? Will you still remain in the bad created and purposefully given for you. times, poor times, sick times? May your love expand and abound. May you never Your witness of love lights the path and opens the be afraid of children. If you think your heart is already possibilities for others to follow. It is meant for others to overflowing and could not possibly encompass more, if observe and imagine that maybe, just maybe, your love you think your day is already too full, your bank account points to something greater, to Someone greater—to a too empty and that children are something for the distant life beyond the now where perfect love dwells. future, think again. Let your love increase, magnify and You see, there is much at stake in your success. spread. Children are the most wonderful, precious gift you

16 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 can ever give to one another, and your heart will grow, without measure or limit, with each one. Trust that God has a plan for each and every child, and let worry and fear be laid at the cross where Christ can transform it. Trust God, trust one another and let no one come between you or before the other. Protect your union from outsiders who may want to meddle or interject poison that takes on roots and causes disunity. Never speak unkindly about the other to family, friends or co-workers, for it is there that the seed of distrust can be scattered. Never let friends drive a wedge or make you choose or keep secrets. Write love letters and love notes. Surprise each other with random acts of love. Never forget to say I love you. We are out here praying for you. Mother Mary is there to intercede as well as all of heaven. That is a whole lot of support and resource. Take advantage of it. You can do this; God is there to lift you up and to guarantee the promises you make. For what He has joined, must never be separated.

Barbara Lishko works full time as a Lay Catholic Marriage Minister. She and her husband Mark, a newly ordained Deacon, have been married for 34 years and are blessed with five young adult children and a brand new granddaughter. Through the inspiration of her children, work in the Catholic Church and wacky life experiences her dream of writing was born. She is the recipient of the Diocese of Phoenix St Terese of Lisieux award. Barbara blogs at pouredmyselfoutingift. wordpress.com.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 17 PRAY WITH US & WATCH NIGHT VIGIL ON: cially when others ask for our prayers? How could I say AMAZON FIRE TV | ROKU | SAMSUNG TV I would remember people’s intentions if I trusted her to KINDLE FIRE | IPAD | ANDROID TABLETS take all things in hand according to the Divine Plan—I worried about quietism, or passivism. OR ONLINE AT WWW.SHALOMWORLD.ORG The wrestling is done, and I must say that my faith has matured by having to sort through these questions. Of course God has a plan; of course Mary is the Queen of Heaven in whom we can place our perfect trust; of course anything of value that we request is closer to her heart than it is to our own—both because she under- stands each situation better and because she loves us passionately. So over the year the Rosaries have gently morphed cry out in the night from daily duty to personal encounters. I do ask for Arise less, because I realize that I do not need to spell out for at the beginning of the watches! Mary— or God—what needs to happen. If this child has Pour out a test or a friend is taking a long trip, they know. They your are also aware of health concerns, world conflicts and upcoming decisions. Instead of “catching up,” like having heartlike waterbefore the presence of the

GROWING Genevieve Kineke WITH MARY a conversation with a friend who wants to know what is going on since we last chatted, I assume Mary knows the lthough I have been a Catholic for almost 30 years details and we spend the time just aligning hearts over LORD now, I confess I am just not good with devotions. these matters. (Lamentations 2:19) AOther than daily Mass, which has always been a When I say aligning hearts, of course, hers takes staple, things just fall through the cracks. Novenas are precedence. Hers is the one beneath which Our Lord especially hard, as some sort of attention deficit kicks in nestled for nine months and which bore particular sor- 8 pm mid-stream and my nine days go up in smoke. (I was re- rows beyond all telling. Thus, my heart needs to become to lieved to hear about a nine-hour novena for emergencies, aligned with hers, which in turn holds me and all my FIRST FRIDAY 12 am but even that proved too much!) cares securely. In this I trust. Last June, though, I quietly (and unexpectedly) There are many things that can be pondered as OF EVERY MONTH (EST) resolved on my birthday to stick with the daily Rosary, one prays through the decades. There are abundant www.ShalomWorld.org and to my astonishment the year is almost complete as books and meditations, which are tremendously helpful. of this writing—and has been a success. Not only did For now, though, I am just spending time with a dear that become a part of my routine, but I decided to make companion—one who has trusted in the promises of God Saint Louis Marie deMontfort’s Act of Consecration to and has been entrusted with all grace in return. I do not Mary this spring and cobbled my way (almost intact) ask for anything except her help so that I may be faithful through 30 days of preparation to the Annunciation, to our encounters. Beyond that, we just consider various wherein I signed my pledge to be “all hers.” And so I am. things together—the ones we love, the obstacles to love, What perplexed me, though, about the preparation the love of God that has yet to be returned. In the end, was Saint Louis’ admonition about how to pray to her; she knows what we need and will see to it—my devotion I had to wrestle with his insistence that we submit to to that steadfast principle remains firm. God’s will and Mary’s intercession in all things. Did that A TRINITARIAN NIGHT OF MIRACLES mean that we could not ask for things? Did that mean © GENEVIEVE KINEKE (www.feminine-genius.com) has been married for that we should not nag her for certain outcomes—espe- thirty years and is the mother of five children. She lives in Rhode Island. You may email your intentions to: [email protected] or call our office at: (215) 366 - 3031 or mail us at: Night Vigil, 211 East Wisconsin 18 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Road, Edinburg, TX 78539 PRAY WITH US & WATCH NIGHT VIGIL ON: AMAZON FIRE TV | ROKU | SAMSUNG TV KINDLE FIRE | IPAD | ANDROID TABLETS OR ONLINE AT WWW.SHALOMWORLD.ORG

Arisecry out in the night at the beginning of the watches! Pour out your heartlike waterbefore the presence of the LORD (Lamentations 2:19)

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You may email your intentions to: [email protected] or call our office at: (215) 366 - 3031 or mail us at: Night Vigil, 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, TX 78539 Senior Producer: 5 years of experience in TV production. Responsible for the overall quality control of productions. Select appropriate projects and lead the production of a range of television programs.

Producer: At least 2 years of experience in TV production. Plan and coordinate all aspects of production including audio work, scenes, music, timing, camera work, and script writing.

Senior Camera Operator: At least 5 years of experience working as a camera operator in various productions. Ability to assess how all the elements of performance, art direction, lighting, composition and camera movement come together in the production.

Camera Operator: Should have at least 2 years of experience. Works with the Producer by carrying out the instructions regarding shot composition and development. Should supervise the logistics of moving the camera and oversee the camera maintenance work.

Lighting Designer and Gaffer: At least 2 years of experience working for Television production. Must have the skill to create the appropriate mood for various TV productions such as fiction, interviews, discussions etc. through lighting. Ability to co-ordinate the lights and circuits and allocate cabling, gels and other accessories is required.

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Screenwriter: At least 3 years of experience, working as use your talents for the Screenwriter required. Ability to write scripts for television programs in conformity with the teachings of the Catholic Church. Experience greater glory of God, with Catholic productions a plus. Video Editor and Online Switcher: At least 2 years of experience, in video editing and handling video production switcher, for television here is an opportunity programs. Edit original video content from multi camera, in studio and off-site video productions. Required knowledge of various editing and compression software applications including, but not to be a part of an limited to Final Cut Pro, Premiere and After Effects. Motion Graphics Designer: At least 3 years’ experience in motion graphics and 3D animation. Must be well versed in both 2D & 3D upcoming worldwide concepts and workflows. Strong familiarity with Autodesk 3DS Max, Adobe Photoshop, Aftereffects, Real flow and various supporting applications is preferred. Character rigging and visual effects Catholic Television knowledge is preferred. Strong eye for lighting and familiarity with latest rendering technologies such as Vray is a plus. Network. Television Anchor: Has at least 3 years of anchoring experience preferably in Catholic production. Must be able to report, scripted or unscripted, with clarity, accuracy and confidence. Collaborate effectively with a wide range of personnel to create compelling content. Excellent writing and interviewing skills is a plus. Build sources, generate story ideas and participate in editorial meetings. Must have a good understanding of the tradition and teachings of the Catholic Church.

If you find yourself suitable for any of these positions, write to [email protected] with your resume and a cover letter Shalom World TV is looking for professionals in the following (detailing your experience and what makes you want to join Shalom positions immediately. Openings are on employment/contract basis Media USA Inc.). Please provide the link to your demo reel and/or portfolio. Applications along with Demoreel DVD, can also be sent via postal mail to: Human Resources, Shalom Media USA Inc., 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas 78539 Steubenville Youth Conferences: Remember Your Testimony and Your Toothbrush By Joe Philip

o you remember when you went on a retreat that changed your life? Do know that as you read a few of these witnesses here that you remember the shock, which was followed immediately by joy, when the Spirit works just as powerfully through print, too. So, Dyou realized that the God you always believed in turned out to be real? let’s be honest—you might as well start packing now for Do you remember when the Holy Spirit broke through layers of apathy, guilt, your first (or fourth) Steubenville Youth Conference next and confusion? Or how about when the Sacraments suddenly became real summer. Remember to pack light, expect great things, channels of freedom and healing and not just a routine? And remember how and bring your toothbrush. Somehow, everyone forgets excited you were to share your story with others? their toothbrush their first time. Whether it is the first time or the fourth time, this is what thousands of high school teens experience every summer when they attend one of the "As soon as the Friday Adoration began, I was many summertime Youth Conferences hosted by the Franciscan University of ashamed of myself. I felt like I didn't belong there Steubenville. They meet the Divine Author and then they want to share the worshiping Jesus. I felt distracted and lost. When I talked story of how His love changed things! Having taken teens for the past five to my friend, Alec, he told me that it may be just because years, I have witnessed again and again how this dynamic of meeting and all the weight of sin was still on my shoulders. I hadn't sharing creates disciples and spurs on the mission of evangelization. gone to confession yet. So the next day I went, and it Those of us who have met Jesus are reminded again of how beautiful our was probably one of the best confessions I've ever had. Savior is and how much He wants to do new things in our lives. The witnesses As we entered into Eucharistic Adoration the next night, of these teens also become the reason why their friends will end up going to I felt prepared. As I closed my eyes I told Jesus I want a Youth Conference for first time next year. And going home empowered to to be open to whatever He wanted me to experience. As love, apologize, forgive, and even obey their parents (who says God doesn't soon as I finished my little silent prayer, I felt something. exist!), these teens become the reason why there are always plenty of adults It came in pulses, and I could feel my body swaying. After who are eager to attend as chaperones. a few seconds of that, I rested in the Spirit. It's hard to Young people who share their testimonies evoke and provoke those who explain the experience but I remember hearing my friend listen. They trigger memories and cultivate cravings. We call this intentional say to someone who was worried, "God is taking care effect the action of the Holy Spirit. And speaking of the Holy Spirit, you should of her." After I heard that conversation I saw a light and

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 21

"For the past few years I have struggled with accepting and returning love. Especially God's love. I understood that He loved me, but I wouldn't allow Him to love me. The first night of LEAD, the leadership program that prepares high school students to grow in the faith before Summer Conferences, we had a time of Adoration. As I was kneeling before Christ, I made a real decision to trust God. I asked Him to show me a love that I could have faith in. Almost instantaneously I had a sense of calm come over me. I was filled with a feeling of pure joy, it was indescribably beautiful. For a moment God gave me a glimpse of His unconditional love; it didn't matter that for years I had been putting up walls between us. It just mattered that at that moment I was open and willing to trust Him. This gave me such a strength and desire to return not only the love of my Heavenly Father, who is ridiculously in love with me, but also to those He blessed me with here on earth." maria g., high school senior heard a voice say, "It's time for you to wake up" and I did. As I looked around, my friends were having similar "Going into the Steubenville Conference, I left behind an issue between experiences and I couldn't help but smile because I my father and I. We had a good relationship, but it became rough and I know God is doing something great with them as well. It pushed him away. My dad was chaperoning at the Conference, and I was not is an experience I'll never forget!" happy about it. I wanted to keep my distance. Friday Eucharistic Adoration kayla s, high school senior had me moving somewhere else just to praise God. Anywhere away from my dad was good. Saturday came, and with that, Adoration. When the time "During my time at Steubenville I experienced came for it, I asked my dad if he was staying in front of me. He said yes. many things, but one in particular that struck me Frustrated, I went outside and prayed for guidance from God. I went back was Saturday Holy Mass and Father Mike Schmitz’s inside, and sat down. When Adoration began, I went in front of my dad, and homily. He pointed out how many Catholics go through to the side, completely vulnerable. I began to sing and cry. I started to shake the motions during Mass without realizing what they are uncontrollably. I knew then God was there. He called me not to be afraid experiencing. He went on to explain the Mass and made of my own father. My dad and I still have a rocky relationship, but we are me really see what a gift God gives us in the Eucharist working it out through God, for God never fails." and how realizing that suddenly changes everything. jack d., high school sophomore Since that day I have challenged myself to be engaged during Mass and it has truly been amazing! Being aware of God's presence is making me a better person! So I challenge you to open your heart during Mass to really realize all the gifts we are receiving from God during that time." haley c., high school senior

"I had been struggling in my faith a lot. I considered not getting the Sacrament of Confirmation before I went to the Steubenville Summer Conference in June. To be honest, I was forced to go so I wasn't all that happy to be there, but Eucharistic Adoration changed me. I had rested in the Spirit twice on Saturday night adoration. The first time, I was completely aware of what was going on around me. I could feel people around me trying to move the chairs and themselves out of the way. The second time, however, I had sort of a 'vision.' It was Jesus and I sitting in a field just talking to me. It was amazing. The last thing he said to me was "This experience will help you grow in your faith." Then he got up and walked away. I can't explain all of it, but I know I want to be confirmed JOE PHILIP is a theology teacher and retreat coordinator for Powers Catholic High School in Flint, and I am going into our Confirmation program more Michigan. He holds his M.A. from Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio. He and his wife, Tara, excited than ever!" travel and share their love for Jesus and the Church by leading and speaking at retreats. They are kylie c., high school sophmore happy parents to a baby girl. Follow Joe on Twitter @joephilip101.

22 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Let us face it: this world is good! God created it and He said it was good. And He has given us many things in this earth for our happiness and pleasure. But the things of this earth are really just the hors d’oeuvres compared to the wedding banquet of the Lamb in heaven. And just like at a real wedding reception, if we were to fill up too much on the appetizers, not only would we not be hungry HOLY for the main meal, but we might even be disgusted by it because we are so full. It would be easy to get filled up DETACHMENT and distracted by all the good things of this earth if our hearts are not detached from them. By Scott M. Anthony God has given us these things to use in this life and to help point us toward the eternal happiness of heaven. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where They are supposed to be arrows pointing us to a greater moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. and lasting fulfillment, not become our destination. If we But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor become too attached to them in our hearts, if we seek decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where our happiness and peace in this world, then we might your treasure is, there also is your heart.” —Matthew 6: miss out on heaven. It is easy to fall into the trap of 19-21 believing that the things we can see, taste, smell, hear, The sixth gift of the Spirit we receive in Baptism and and touch are the most real things of our existence, but Confirmation is the gift of piety. What do you think of we were created for MORE! It is easy to think that this when hear this word? I think we often miss the beauty of life is all there is and we should try to use as much of it this gift because when we hear this word we think “pious” as we can for our own selfish pleasure. But in allowing and when we think of people we consider pious we ourselves to become attached to this world, we risk tend to have a negative reaction. Right or wrong, I think forfeiting the next. we judge people who seem to be a little too outwardly With this gift of holy detachment, our eyes will be “religious” as trying to show-off or being better than fixed on heaven and we will see things with eternal us or as maybe trying to overcompensate for some big vision. We will use the things of this earth for our hidden sin by publicly being holy. Are you guilty of these journey and we will be grateful to God for them and the thoughts? I know that I am. happiness and pleasure they bring, without sacrificing But the truth about this gift is that it has to do our eternal home for things that are passing. much more with our interior life than with our exterior Dear Jesus, I want to see things as You see them. life. I like to refer to it as “holy detachment.” The idea Help my heart to stay detached from the good things of detachment as a spiritual practice or attitude is not of this earth so that I will always desire the eternal talked about much these days, but it is so important. It happiness and fulfillment of heaven. Amen. basically helps us to keep our eyes on heaven and not get so absorbed in this life that we begin to make this life and the things in this world our god. How can this SCOTT M. ANTHONY (www.ScottMAnthony.net) has been involved in happen? youth ministry and evangelization for more than 20 years. He resides in Pennsylvania with his wife and eight children. Only on your SHALOM WORLD! SEEK is a gathering of college students on a journey. It is a place where they can come together to take on some of life’s BIGGER questions and, like guides along the way, learn from one another where wisdom and experience lead. Life is meant to be lived and in order to live it to the fullest, they need to heed the wisdom that calls them to ‘ask, seek and knock’ to discover who they are, where they are going and what motivates them. Don’t go it alone, let’s seek together.

Answering the Church’s call for a new evangelization, FOCUS, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students, is a national outreach that meets college students where they are and invites them into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and the Catholic faith.

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Gods Own Channel Once upon a time, THERE WAS A BANANA IN THE KITCHEN By Theresa Thomas

nce upon a time, there was Roman times were full of people immersed nieces and nephews and perhaps other a banana. And he lived in a in debauchery, scandal, and local and young people as well. “Okitchen …” So began the story national gossip; these things have persisted Our greatest achievement is not my eight-year-old daughter Angela wrote for over time. There just was not always mass climbing to the corporate top, or running a homeschool writing assignment. I laughed media to broadcast and share it so quickly. and winning a marathon, or attaining and laughed, a big belly laugh—I loved the Tragedies can be severe mercies for any other honorable goal. It is living our opening sentences so much that I almost individuals or communities. They spur us on vocation with courage, even in the midst could not stop. As I read on, I was tickled to humility, repentance, and dependence of a fallen world. The “magnum opus” of with her play on words, as the banana on God. Sadness and struggles often parents, regardless of their profession, is attended the “fruitball games” and the “sink bring with them the gift of wisdom and bowl.” I so desperately needed this belly discernment, of knowledge, and truth. When laugh from my sweet, creative child. we realize we cannot control everything we You see, it seems that everywhere I learn to rely on our Father. have turned lately I see stories of sadness But guess what? There has also been and tragedy, even outright evil taking truth, beauty and goodness over time— place in city after city. I do not turn on God. Children born are our hope, in their the news anymore because I cannot take innocence and promise, and remind us of the constant barrage of assaults on our the Eden that once was and the heaven faith and stories of disaster. In the midst that will be for each of us who choose God. of this media age, it is easy to literally When we focus on them we find a piece of see what is happening not only across heaven on earth. our nation but across the world, and no There is so much to be thankful for when tragedy is spared on television—fires, we look out for and after children. Here are floods, accusations, scandals, murders. Our some positive things to ponder: own little communities are even affected ◗ For married people and parents, each day by accidents on the road and violence. is an opportunity to serve a spouse or child Just recently, citizens in my old hometown and make a life less burdensome. experienced a random shooting in a local ◗ For consecrated religious, each day is a grocery store. Sometimes our own parish chance to serve one more spiritual child or family is affected. These personal trials and lighten the load. can be the most difficult to endure and it is ◗ Each day a new baby is born, with easy to become discouraged. unique gifts and talents, an unrepeatable While this is scary and unnerving, combination of DNA, a distinctive gifted it is also what has been happening in soul. humankind since the beginning of people ◗ Each day we have the opportunity to help inhabiting the earth. Perhaps it is difficult our children grow in grace and knowledge. to imagine, but it is true—the ancient Often, we have the opportunity to help our

26 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 the raising of their children to know, love and serve God in this world; to be happy with Him in the next. The wonderful thing about that is that not only do we have the graces to do so because of our baptism, but this job, this vocation, is overflowing with joy! The joy of raising children well is not only supernatural “up there” joy but also common, simple, every day “down here” joy. The same eight-year-old daughter I referenced at the beginning of this article spontaneously informed me that the dog’s legs are four inches long, her head is three inches and her back is nine … I turned to see a tolerant puppy on my daughter’s lap, patiently being “tape-measured.” The puppy looked up at me with an expression that, should it be put into human words, most likely would be, “Really?” I laughed. How could I not? This little girl invited me to dance with her. She shared half of a cookie with me. She asked me if God has favorite foods. She told me God was proud of me. She performed a magic show with her sister (making that patient puppy disappear). Children are such hopes and gifts for the world. We cannot focus only on the tragedies, sadness and other grim realities, because once upon a time there was a banana in the kitchen…and that is also reality.

THERESA THOMAS is co-author of “BIG HEARTED: Inspiring Stories from Everyday Families” (Liguori Publications) and “Stories for the Homeschool Heart” (Bezalel Books), family columnist at “Today’s Catholic News,” and a contributing writer for the Integrated Catholic Life™. Reprinted with permission from the Integrated Catholic Life™ (www. IntegratedCatholicLife.org).

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 27 • Help her Wives and mothers have an incredibly tough FIVE WAYS TO 2 job. I always laugh at people who think my wife does not work because she stays home with the kids. I will tell you this much, I do not think I could do what she does. I get to come home from work; she does not. So as a husband, realize that your wife works hard. Appreciate that, but do not stop at appreciation. Look for concrete ways you can lift the burden of caring for a home and a bunch of rowdy little humans. Vacuum, do LOVE the dishes, take out the trash or change a diaper. Believe me, there are dozens of small ways you can love your YOUR WIFE wife in this way. Find some and do them without being asked.

By Sam Guzman • Watch a chick flick How many of you look forward to 3 watching “Pride and Prejudice” or “Sleepless in Seattle?” Yeah, me neither. But guess what? My wife likes those kind of movies and your wife probably does as well. Swallow your pride and show your wife you love married a wonderful woman. She is beautiful, hilarious, generous, and her by watching something she likes for a change. incredibly strong. (I watched her give birth. Trust me, she is strong.) The Ilonger I am married to her, the more I realize how lucky I am to have her. But as much as I love my wife, I admit that I can still be pretty selfish at times. In other words, I do not always show my love like I should—and unless you are already a saint, you can probably identify. Because we are by nature self-centered, showing love to our wives takes intentional effort. It takes a daily choice to put her and her needs before our own. That said, here are five concrete ways to demonstrate love to your wife.

• Listen to her Do you listen to your wife? I do not mean hear her talking. Do you 1 really try to understand her concerns and her perspectives? I am going to be completely transparent here—of all the ways to show my wife I appreciate her, I find this one of the hardest. I am by nature introverted. I love quiet time to read and reflect and my ideal evening involves mulling a good book without interruption. But my wife, like a lot of women, likes to talk. She talks about the funny things the kids did, about a bill that needs to be paid or about something her friend said. Is all of it interesting to me? Sometimes no and all too often I find myself lapsing into grunts of acknowledgement rather than engaging in a real conversation. Of course my wife picks up on my lack of interest and it is hurtful to her. When I pretend to listen but am really distracted and uninterested it is incredibly selfish. I am basically telling my wife, “That’s nice, honey, but honestly, I really don’t care.” It is a slap in the face to this woman who labors day in and day out to make a loving home for me and our children. Men, you and I are called to love our wives by listening to them and their concerns. If it is important to her, it should be important to you. Whatever else you want to do can wait. Pay attention to the beautiful woman you have pledged to give your life to and really care about what she has to say. This small practice can make a dramatic difference in your marriage.

28 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Of course, the type of entertainment does not have to • Tell her you love her be a movie. It could be something like taking a walk or Most men, except for the romantic poet types among us, are shopping. The point is, do something your wife likes 5 not into verbally expressing their love. “My wife knows I love her, to do as an act of love, even if you find it completely why do I need to tell her?” they think. I do not care if you are doing everything uninteresting. else right, your wife still needs to hear that she is loved. Tell her frequently that you love her and tell her what you love about her. Also seek to express your • Surprise her love through non-sexual physical affection. It will give life to your wife to know Everyone likes surprises and that includes that you that you care about her for who she is, not what she can do for you. 4 your wife. Bring her roses. Buy her a book If you got married for what you can get out of it, you got married for the she has been wanting. Bring her a box of chocolates. wrong reasons. Marriage is not about taking. It is not about how that person Take her out on a dinner date for no reason in makes you feel, what she looks like or what she can do for you. No, marriage particular. In other words, learn what she likes most is all about loving like Christ—and that means embracing the cross. and then surprise her with it when she least expects it. You see, real love is all about self-giving, self-sacrifice, and self-denial. It You really do not have to wait until an anniversary to do literally means laying down your life for your wife in a thousand daily choices. this sort of thing! As men, we are called to follow Christ by loving our wives as He loved the Church and “gave Himself up for her.” Is this hard sometimes? Will it cost you? Of course. We are fallen and selfish. But get over it. Man up. Love your wife.

© SAM GUZMAN is an author and editor of “The Catholic Gentleman” (www.CatholicGentleman. net) whose work has appeared in several publications. He resides in Wisconsin with his wife and two small boys. Guzman also serves as the Communications Director for Pro-Life Wisconsin (www.ProLifeWisconsin.org). Naturally, I am just getting started in this mission, Telling My Daughters They’re but I feel after the last few months I can and should share one of my early successes. I asked myself, what is the greatest challenge facing the average teenage girl? From the lyrics of music, to the major plot lines of major television shows and hit Hollywood movies, to the blasted checkout counter at almost any store, the main issue seems to be this: young women, more than anything else, need reassurance that they are beautiful. Beau(Theology of the Body for Toddlers)tiful But if I wait until she is asking whether or not she is beautiful, none of my daughters is going to have much By Luke Arredondo of a chance. If there is any hint of doubt about that, it means that I am already losing the battle, and I would always prefer to be playing offense rather than defense, especially when my child’s happiness, and perhaps soul, are at stake. s a resident of the Archdiocese of New Orleans, I am naturally very So what have I done? One. Simple. Thing. familiar with the fantastic “Theology of the Body for Teens,” both the I tell my daughters “You’re beautiful” every night. It Ahigh school and middle school editions. I have taught both of them is the last thing I say to them before I leave the room. multiple times, and they are absolutely wonderful resources. Faustina, my oldest, sometimes reminds me to tell But I have also seen that even by sixth grade, some kids can already my other daughter she is beautiful, too. And if I get be kind of lost at sea when it comes to understanding the fundamental distracted between saying “You’re beautiful” and shutting ideas. They are not ship-wrecked yet, but it takes a lot of work to bring them the door (like, if I have to go get another bottle, or some back to shore. “fresh” water), Faustina makes me tell her again. She That experience has put me in search of ways, as a father, to try and stay wants me to tell her more than once sometimes. Other ahead of the game. Of course, my children are all incredibly young (all under times she says “Daddy, I beautiful.” three years old). They are also all girls, though, and I know all too well how Do I have scientific data that this is going to fragile they can be later in life, as well as how vulnerable a young lady can work? No, but I cannot help but think that the power of be when she is not deeply convicted of her own beauty, dignity, and the fact hearing their father tell them, every single day, that they that she is deeply loved not only by her earthly father, but above all by her are beautiful, will work its way deep into their heart, and Heavenly Father. give them such certainty about that truth, that nothing— no rapper, no Hollywood director, no magazine cover model, and certainly no “cool” guy—is ever going to be able to take it from her. Sorry, guys, I am already fighting this battle, and you are not getting your foot in the door on my girls. Why? Because, much to the band One Direction’s chagrin, my girls do know they’re beautiful!

LUKE ARREDONDO (www.lukearredondo.com) lives just outside of New Orleans, Louisiana with his wife and their three daughters. Arredondo works as Director of Religious Education at Divine Mercy Parish in Kenner, Louisiana, and is pursuing a Master of Arts in Theology at Notre Dame Seminary.

30 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 WHY INSTANT GRATIFICATION NEVER GRATIFIES By Anne Marie Miller

recently saw a preview at a movie theater which shocked me. ate them. Other children closed their eyes, turned around, or kicked The preview was for a new ABC network show. Interspersed their desks, to distract themselves from eating their treats. Over Iwith images of families and crowds of people together, various forty years later, researchers re-examined these people. On average, celebrities flashed across the screen, saying this message: “Instant the people who, as preschoolers, delayed gratification were more Gratification: It’s what you want. And now, it’s what you’re going to socially competent, had stronger relationships, and higher SAT get.” My jaw dropped as these words reached my ears. That is blunt. scores. Is it a good thing to instantly satisfy our desires? And is this what Saying “no” to the culture of cohabitation and hookups is we really want? not that easy, but when we delay satisfying our desires in small Well, when famous singers are telling people that “you want” ways, we will be able to strengthen ourselves to resist the sexual instant gratification, our culture will move towards that goal. temptations that come along. “Instant” products—from Netflix to TV dinners to quickly advancing Say “no” to the snooze button. Right at the start of the day, technology—flood store advertisements, commercials, and homes. we have a way to build self-control: when that alarm goes off, And while I have to confess that get up and start the day. This “instant view” movies are really is way easier said than done convenient, the continual focus (I have always overused the on instant gratification is not snooze button), but worth always that great. doing. Controlling our desires Let us imagine a world where at the start of the day is a great whatever desires you have are way to begin a life of delayed immediately fulfilled. Two people gratification. feel attracted to each other, Make sacrifices for the greater so they start being physically good. This sounds like something affectionate—and it quickly from the Medieval World, with the escalates into sex. Whenever a “knights in shining armor”—but woman wants a man in her life, it is for us, too! With sacrifice, she can just whip out her phone we take control over our desires, and see pictures of local “available men,” whom she can contact. so that we are not ruled by them. Even something like “I will eat a Whenever two people get really serious, they move in together to cookie at dinner instead of lunch” is a great way to start! “test drive” their relationship prior to marriage. Do not fly into one-night hookups, instead form lifelong Does this sound like a healthy society? I do not think so. friendships. When emotions are surging, and the mood is romantic, Unfortunately, this is our society. Tons of current relationships are dipping to your desires and hooking up with that guy may seem based on physical intimacy, and they leave the people deeply awesome. Why not delay gratification and patiently work at injured. A variety of dating apps are on the rise, as more and more becoming friends with people of the opposite sex? Instead of being people try to instantaneously find a random person to date. And alone and broken after a one-night stand, you will have a lot less cohabitation is now incredibly commonplace. No commitments, no heartache and healthy friendships. strong sense of self-control, just living on desires. A society based Do not listen to what the celebrities say; let us tell them who we on the fleeting emotions and whims of billions of people—does this are: individuals who can control our desires, delay gratification, and really sound like a good idea? live stronger, healthier lives filled with true sacrificial love. We are made for more than this. Delayed gratification can strengthen relationships, heighten intelligence, and make us healthier. It is not rocket science; even a secular institution showed ANNE MARIE MILLER studies Theology and English at Franciscan University of that delayed gratification is good for us. Steubenville. She has a passion for the Catholic Faith, chastity, Saint Francis of In the late 1960s, psychology researchers at Stanford Assisi, and frolicking around barefoot. In August 2013, she was blessed to marry her performed the famous “Marshmallow Study.” Hundreds of four- incredible husband, and the two of them enjoy the epic adventures of married college year-olds were each given one marshmallow or other treat. They life. When she is not doing homework, housework, cooking, or playing chess, Anne were told that if they waited for fifteen minutes without eating Marie reflects on her random observations on her blog, Sacrifice of Love (http:// their treats, they would additionally be given another treat. Some marianninja.blogspot.com). Reprinted with permission from Chastity Project (www. children smelled and touched their marshmallows, and ultimately ChastityProject.com).

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 31 Living Your Résumé Or Your Eulogy? By Tony Agnesi

ecently, I conducted a time-management seminar mercy of things which matter least.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. for about forty people. Whenever I make this What would happen if we talked to a fellow worker face-to-face instead Rpresentation, I ask the group, “Why do you want to of texting him or her? What would happen if we took half the time we spend manage your time better?” The responses are varied but on Facebook and visited someone in the hospital, Grandma at the nursing most revolve around time famine—they want to get more home, or served food at a local shelter? done, make more money, or get a better job. We would be living our eulogy instead of our résumé! We would be Then I ask them if they have ever considered the defining our success by the third metric of well-being, wisdom, and our ability reason to better manage time is to get done what we need to do in fewer hours, so that we might have more time to devote to the things that are really important. “Are you living your eulogy or your résumé?” I will ask. There are usually a few confused faces because it is a question that many have never been asked. A recent “Huffington Post” article talked about redefining success beyond power and money to include well-being, wisdom, and our ability to wonder and to give as part of the equation. They call it the third metric. When we remember someone who died, we rarely talk about his or her money and power achievements. We talk about the quality of his or her character, what he or she believed in, how he or she treated people, or his or her strong faith. We do not recall his or her number of Facebook friends, the number of times he or she reviewed the sales figures, or that he or she never missed a reality show. We remember things like Joe was a good husband, father and friend; or Mary cared about the poor, less fortunate, the sick and the aged. to wonder and give back. In managing our time, we must differentiate between Catholic author Matthew Kelly often speaks of becoming “the best version things that are important and things that are urgent. of yourself.” Is that not what our Lord is asking of us? To do that, we must Things like e-mail, texting, smart phones, Facebook, realize that the best version of ourselves is not how quickly we can respond and Twitter are all made to seem important because to a text message or how many e-mails we get each day or the number of our their immediacy creates a false sense of urgency. Their Facebook friends. It is how we use our gifts for the glory of God. urgency does not make them important! As a matter of Take the eulogy test. How would you like your life to be described at fact, they are the greatest time wasters! your funeral? It is not too late to change gears and make your life matter! I recently saw a man in a swimming pool with his Business philosopher and author Jim Rohn said, “We all have two choices: we kids and he was wearing his Bluetooth headset in the can make a living or we can design a life.” We can discover this by asking the water, just in case someone called. Is it that he considers question, “What gives meaning to my life?” a phone conversation more important than some That answer will reveal the best, most authentic version of you. Live that quality time with his kids? Or has he simply become and you will be living your eulogy instead of your resume. so narcissistic that being connected with work is more important than being connected with his children? Teens will text their friends hundreds of times a day instead of getting on their bicycles and spending some time TONY AGNESI (www.TonyAgnesi.com) is a relentless storyteller. He is a radio broadcast executive together. and consultant and is involved in Catholic radio, jail ministry and ministry to the homeless. A “Things which matter most must never be at the father of two grown sons, he resides with his wife of more than forty years in Wadsworth, Ohio.

32 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 LIFE IS BUSY, BUT SOME CONVERSATIONS ARE WORTH THE TIME

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showing them love—knowing who liked to be tickled, have a ride on the merry-go-round, or have her braided or who liked to have a certain spoon for eating or who liked By Katherine Scott singing bouncier songs. I loved being able to discover these little ways of bringing joy to the women’s lives. Ultimately, seeing Smile them joyful ended up bringing me more joy to my days. It was not until my last day at work that I was hit with how powerful a true smile is. I spent a lot of the day saying goodbye to the women I had gotten to know during the seven weeks I had been there. I was so touched by the goodbyes I received. Without speaking more than a couple of random words we had learned of each other’s language; we had built relationships through love. I received and gave so many hugs and kisses that I knew a deeper bond had been created than I thought possible with such a language barrier. It was then that I had my realization! Each relationship with these women had started with a smile and a look. Yes, as time had gone on I had learned other ways ow that I have been back in Canada for a while, I of showing love as well, but the initial action had been have had some time to reflect on my time in India. a smile. I would not have been able to learn anything NI have one lesson I learned that I want to share more about these women if I had never smiled at them with you—it is the value of a smile. or looked at them and the things that brought them I arrived in Kolkata and quickly felt inadequate in joy. Smiling is a very small action and I believe is often being able to communicate with people since I knew no done subconsciously, or at least done without realizing Hindi or Bengali and many of the Indian people did not its richness. A smile is not the end of love, it is the speak English. I was overwhelmed with the challenge beginning, the starting gate. of trying to love the people I was serving without using Through this experience God taught me my smile is my usual way of portraying love with words. So I smiled, a gift that opens the gateway from which greater love laughed, and did small actions such as trimming and will pour. Smiling intentionally with love at another can painting nails, massaging and feeding meals. change a life in an instant and let him or her know he I began to get to know the women at Prem Dan better or she is loved. The language of love conquers all verbal as time went on and learned more individual ways of language barriers and is the greatest language of all.

KATHERINE SCOTT was one of seven missionaries who went to Kolkata, India, for a two-month mission with FacetoFace Ministries. The majority of their time was spent volunteering with the Missionaries of Charity and their outreaches including Prem Dan, a home for the sick. FacetoFace Ministries is a Catholic ministry desiring that all people encounter Christ and embrace the call to be saints. This is accomplished by living and proclaiming the fullness of the Catholic faith. To find out how FacetoFace Ministries can bless your parish, school, or diocese please go to www.f2f.ca.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 35 ARE YOU BUILDING THE KINGDOM OF GOD? By Dr. Jacqueline Michael, MBBS, PGDip HR

re you a housekeeper? Are you a professional? yourself whether you desire to share the Good News Are you a soldier? Whatever trade you are that you have come to enjoy. Search within, whether you engaged in, you can help your Father build His are attracted to helping those suffering around you by kingdom. Whoever you are, you are precious in proclaiming the Good News that liberated you. Does Athe eyes of your Lord. He desires that all of mankind be every cell in your body know that God the creator is your reconciled to Him. He created you in His own likeness real Father? Are you ready to say “Yes” to your Father that and image. He helps humans to wake from their deep His wish may be done in your life and through you? slumber of sin. Remember the maxim—“Like father, like The main addendum to the desire to evangelize is the son?” We must be like our Father. willingness to say YES with all your strength, body, soul To build the Kingdom of God we should satisfy three and mind to Almighty God. A YES to submit to His will at main requirements. Ask yourself the following questions all times. A YES to permit His will to be done through you and ponder over them. Chew them and ruminate. Try to as and when he pleases. answer them honestly. If you can give a “yes” to all three,  Do you have the willingness to encourage and then a master builder you shall be. support fellow builders? A builder never builds alone—  Do you have an ardent desire to evangelize? Ask he always works in a fellowship. There are always others

36 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 involved like the different cogs in a wheel. Each needs to is to seek the grace of God to overcome sin and to live work and support the other. Each builder needs to serve in purity. On a more practical level holiness is to turn the other. Going one step further, each builder must the other way when sin comes knocking through flesh, respect and love the other. You should have the drive mind and vision. Holiness is to dress honorably, to speak in you to encourage and support those around you. You honorably, to act honorably and to think honorably. need to pray for them, be a sounding board for them, When confronted with sin never forget that the Holy Spirit use your gifts and talents in encouraging them and use within you is comforter and paraclete. He speaks on your discernment in guiding them. In a nutshell, you need to behalf whenever you are in need. Remember this and ask be a brother to fellow Kingdom builders. for His help.  Do you understand the need to grow in holiness We all must grow in humility. As we usually say, pride and humility? Growing in holiness and humility is the goes before a fall. It is very much true for those who work most physically painful process. Understanding and with the Kingdom of God. The only thing worthy of pride realizing this need is the first step. Recognizing this is that you are the child of God, the omnipotent. Humility

need is the quintessential step in spiritual growth. This is the knowledge that the graces and personality that you is essential for us to rise from being servants to being exude, the awe and glory that is accorded to you, all of rightful heirs to the Kingdom of God. When you step out this is just one step away from destruction. Nothing that as kingdom builders, the forces of the world will rise you have or nothing that is accorded to you has more life against you and within you. This can only be conquered than the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. This applies even for by personal holiness and humility. Holiness is not your your spiritual gifts! Recognizing this and learning to grow passport to the bosom of your Father—the blood of Jesus in humility is essential in the life of a builder. Grow more is. Your Father enfolds you in His bosom out of love. The in knowing your God and Father. Read and ruminate on only currency in His Kingdom is love. He wants you to the Gospel of John and seek the help of the Holy Spirit love Him just as He loves you. He desires that you desire to grow more like Christ. One day the love within you will to walk with Him just as He walked with Adam. know no bounds and will begin to overflow. Remember Holiness is being like Jesus. Holiness is to shed our always that you have been carved out of God. Your place grimy past and stand cleansed in the precious blood of in him is secure, secured by the precious blood of the the lamb. Holiness is to recognize the fangs of sin and lamb. In return, love like you have never loved before. develop strategies to avoid and overcome it. Holiness

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 37 THE GIFT OF A CHRISTIAN DEATH? By Brother Bonaventure Chapman, O.P.

here is no point in being a Christian unless we physical death completes this regard death as God’s greatest gift to us. —Father ‘dying with Christ’ and so completes TEdward T. Oakes, SJ (1948–2013) our incorporation into him in his What did he say? Death is a gift, even God’s redeeming act” (CCC 1010). greatest? Death is no stranger to superlatives, but they This summer I had the usually come in the negative form: death is the most privilege of spending a month terrible reality; death is the final enemy; death is the with the Dominican Sisters at worst defeat. Because of this, death avoidance becomes Rosary Hill Home in Hawthorne, a wellspring of activity in modern society: nursing . The sisters here, part of homes and hospitals keep it at a safe distance from a congregation founded by Rose the home and euphemisms are commonly deployed Hawthorne (Mother Mary Alphonsa), in its description. Is not the euthanasia movement an the daughter of American writer extreme form of this avoida nce in its attempt to master , work day death through free choice? If death must happen, I will and night to assist cancer patients decide exactly when and how it happens! Of course in just such a “dying with Christ.” the avoidance of death is not limited to the modern Unlike many hospices that offer a condition. In his famous study, “The Denial of Death,” kind of palliative care that involves Ernest Becker writes of its universal quality: the refusal of suffering and the “The idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human denial of death, the sisters here animal like nothing else; it is a mainspring of human offer truly passionate care: the activity—activity designed largely to avoid the fatality of suffering-with of compassion and death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the acceptance of death with Christ the final destiny for man.” through His passion. Surely Father Oakes must be morbidly misinformed Death is not covered up or or manifestly mistaken. Well, no, actually, although a ignored at Hawthorne; patients are distinction is desirable. It is not any old death that is here to die well, to die with and in the greatest gift, but a Christian death, a death given Christ. It is an incredible grace and by God, which is the greatest gift. Why? Because in a truly a gift to die with the sisters; Christian death one does not die alone; one dies with I can attest to this because of my Christ. The “Catechism” (“CCC”) puts it succinctly: “To experiences with both patients and their families. As one rise with Christ, we must die with Christ” (1005). To be family member said, “This place is the closest thing to united with Christ fully, one must be united with Him in heaven on earth.” Those gifted enough to come to Rosary His death, and therefore in our own deaths. Death has a Hill are taught to die well, to die with Christ, to die with new dimension, a new character, thanks to Christ’s death. love and grace. Truly what a gift! The “Catechism” goes on to quote Saint Paul in this new Unfortunately, not everyone can die in the care of the definition of death: Hawthorne Dominicans. (Young ladies, you can change “Because of Christ, Christian death has a positive this: vocations.) And yet, we all face death, the final meaning: ‘For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain’ enemy and proper punishment for our sins. Thankfully, (Phil 1:21). ‘The saying is sure: if we have died with him, like the patients at Rosary Hill, the Church has not left we will also live with him’ (2 Tm 2:11). What is essentially us alone in this serious task of dying well; she gives us new about Christian death is this: through Baptism, the daily numerous ways of preparing well. One way is to ask Christian has already ‘died with Christ’ sacramentally, in for a holy death every time we see a crucifix in our house order to live a new life; and if we die in Christ’s grace, (You do not have one? Why not?) or Church. There are

38 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 also excellent works dedicated to living well by thinking the greatest because it is the way to unite ourselves about dying well, both traditional (Dominican and Jesuit) with Christ. Christ offers us the gift of His death and we as well as contemporary (written by a friend of mine). offer ourselves united to Him through our own deaths Of course we pray for such a holy death, through the as our final thanksgiving for all He has done. While not intercession of Mary, at least 50 times a day in the all of us will have the gift of dying with the Hawthorne rosary. (You do not pray the rosary every day? Really?) Dominicans, we can all experience a hint of their charism The Church encourages us to prepare ourselves for the with the help of the Church. And of course our death is hour of death (“CCC” 1114). After all, if this life is to be not the final word, for the gift of death contains also the a sequela Christi, a following of Christ—one must follow gift of the resurrection. Him to death and through death. Christ’s call to each disciple “to deny himself and take up his cross daily” (Lk Bother Bonaventure Chapman, O.P., entered the Order of Preachers in 9:23) finds new meaning and resonance in this daily 2010. He received a M.Th. in Applied Theology from Wycliffe Hall, Oxford reflection and preparation for death. University, where he studied for the Anglican priesthood. Reprinted with To die with Christ is truly a gift, a gift that may be permission from Dominicana (www.dominicanablog.com)

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 39 VEHICLE TO THE PRIESTHOOD By Father John Riccardo

y first memory is of the crucifix in my boyhood During my childhood, my prayers centered on my mother's bad back. parish, Holy Name in Birmingham, Michigan. I Endless treatments failed to alleviate her constant pain. When I was 13 Mdo not know how old I was, but I knew Jesus had one of my sisters called our mother to tell her she had just come from a died for me and my whole life was supposed to be a charismatic prayer meeting and someone had sensed that God wanted response to this. to cure someone with a bad back. My sister was convinced it would be This is certainly not a typical first memory but my our mother. Within a month mom was playing tennis—completely healed— family was anything but typical. My father, John, was the although there was no medical reason for the pain to be gone. Two years Chief Executive Officer and Chairman of the Board for later, she formally converted to the Catholic faith. the Chrysler Corporation and also a devout Catholic. My Growing up in this home of prayer and miracles gave me a strong anchor. father proved that religion was not just a crutch for the Yet, ironically, as a teenager I began to hide my faith. I never stopped praying weak. Every night he was on his knees before he went to but I began to live a life as one leading to hell. I no longer went to confession bed, and even during his frequent travels he went to daily and by the time I attended college at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor Mass. My mother, Thelma, was initially a Methodist, but my attendance at Mass was sporadic. It was not enjoyable to hear the Gospel she accompanied us to Mass long before her eventual when I was not living a holy life. conversion to the Catholic faith. Not until my junior year in college, in 1986, did my life change. I began I was the youngest of five children and my very connecting with some young men, who were part of an ecumenical Christian existence occurred against the advice of my mother's brotherhood outreach group, for basketball games. I saw men my own age doctor, because of her painful and crippling back who were normal guys but really knew God and were not afraid to talk about condition. My mom later told me I was a gift to her and Him. I began to examine my life and went through a conversion. At this time, my father and, in turn, they gave me back to God. I broke off a serious romantic relationship, leaving me free to concentrate on

40 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Christian outreach to university students. to God, “Lord, I don't get it. I thought of marriage once, Upon graduation, armed with a degree in that didn't fit; the brotherhood didn't fit, I started dating English and communications, I interviewed again, that didn't fit ...” for jobs in the automotive industry. It soon Suddenly, I heard a clear voice speaking to me: “John, became clear this was not the life God I'm inviting you to live single and to do it as a priest.” intended for me. So while trying to find my Although the voice would not have been audible to

Photo: Zvonimir Atletic / Shutterstock.com Photo: Zvonimir niche in the world, I accepted a job baking another, it was certainly not my own voice—I had never bread. With great trepidation, I drove home even considered the priesthood. I responded, “Lord, if to tell my father of my plans to bake bread. that's what you want me to do, then you better give me a I thought my dad would be disappointed. desire for it, because I don't have it.” Instead, he told me he would be thrilled Within five days, I longed to know more about the with whatever I chose to do in life, even if priesthood. It was late December in 1990 when I I wanted to be a priest. I assured him that contacted the vocation director of Sacred Heart Major would never happen. seminary in Detroit. I had to wait until the next school Driving back to Ann Arbor that day, tears year to be admitted, but in the meantime I could take streamed down my face as I felt my life was a few classes. As I walked into the building for the first moving beyond my own control. I wanted to time, a wave of peace washed over me. I thought, “I'm follow Jesus, yet I was unclear where that finally home.” I knew on my end, with full clarity, that led. What was suddenly clear, however, was this was what God was calling me to. This was why I was that following Jesus was not romantic; that made, which is an amazing thing to grasp. the cross is heavy. I realized I was not the After a year-and-a-half at Sacred Heart Seminary, I one in control. was asked to go to finish my theological studies in Rome. As I cried, the words to the Christian Before final admission to the North American College, song "God's Own Fool" played on my car I needed a physical. Although in excellent physical stereo. "... So come lose your life for a condition and only 26, testing indicated possible heart carpenter's son, for a madman who died for irregularities. A stress test was scheduled. After studying a dream. And you'll have the faith His first the results, the cardiologist questioned me about any followers had and you'll feel the weight of severe childhood illnesses I may have had. There had the beam." been high fevers and seizures but nothing more. At that moment, I had an actual vision “No, that couldn't have done it,” the doctor of our Lord in my car. He sat next to me; it determined. He told me I had unexplainable scar tissue was clear it was Him. I was still crying. He on my heart. The prognosis was that it was nothing to reached across the seat and dug His right be concerned about but it could occasionally cause hand into my chest and said, “John, these shortness of breath. are all your dreams, goals and desires and everything you want to do with I had been in Rome for a month when I was in chapel your life.” He withdrew His hand and pulled everything out and motioned one day meditating on the three pivotal moments in my throwing it all out the window. life: my first memory of the crucifix, the vision in the car I said, “Lord, that's my life you just threw out the window.” Jesus then said, and the invitation to be a priest. It was at that moment “John, I’m going to give you My dream, My goal, My desire and what I want when it became clear to me where the scar tissue on my you to do with your life.” And then He was gone. heart had come from. I felt like God told me, “The scar I felt panicked. This was so personal. Still, I did not know what God tissue is from my hand.” had planned for me. For the next three years, I did Christian outreach with Often, during the Mass, at the moment of university students. For a time I seriously considered joining a Christian consecration, when I lift the bread and wine and it brotherhood of non-denominational men, but ultimately decided it was not becomes the Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ, for me. I often lose my breath and feel as if my heart is being By the time I was 25 I had taken a job in Ohio for Ford Motor Company, squeezed. It is a reminder of the day God barged into my in an account management training program. I was dating again and had life and brought me to the joy of the priesthood. decided to apply to graduate school. While reading my Bible one day I came across this passage in Matthew: “Some are incapable of marriage F AthER JOHN RICCARDO was ordained a priest of the Archdiocese of because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; Detroit in 1996. He is pastor at Our Lady of Good Counsel in Plymouth, some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of Michigan. Father Riccardo is an expert on Saint John Paul II’s “Theology heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.” (19:12). of the Body.” Originally published in “Amazing Grace for the Catholic Something stirred within me. I thought, “Oh, nuts! I think I'm suppose Heart” by Jeff Cavins, Matthew Pinto, and Patti Armstrong. Reprinted to do this.” I almost threw my Bible on the ground. In frustration, I cried out with permission.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 41 Whether it is through mission trips, conferences, books, magazines, or new media—in a world full of shadows, we want to bring the light of Christ! We are on a mission to reveal the glory of God to the ends of the earth because where He is, there is peace.

Join Shalom World as partners in prayer and praise! Together, let us Lift Jesus Higher!

Gods Own Channel Book Review By Dr. Jeff Mirus

gnatius Press has recently published an excellent book by Robert R. Reilly, entitled “Making Gay Okay: IHow Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything.” The focus is on the extraordinary rapidity of MAKING the change from social rejection to social affirmation of homosexuality. The author very effectively details both the rationale and the tactics used to successfully advance “gay rights.” GAY OKAY: A Tight Focus with Real Value Reilly is no mere conservative; he does not make the mistake of seeing everything in terms of some sort ROBERT REILLY of surprising betrayal of American Constitutional law. He understands that there was necessarily an immense EXPLAINS HOW value-shift in the West before gay marriage could become normative, and so he devotes the first part of the book to AND WHY what he calls “The Rationalization and How it Works.” A refreshingly clear writer, Reilly enables the reader to grasp the classic understanding of nature as a source of knowledge about ends, meaning and, therefore, morality. And he just as clearly portrays the vastly different and highly influential conception of nature popularized in the writings of Jean-Jacques Rousseau. He explains also how the triumph of physical science—in itself utterly dependent on a uniform, predictable nature ordered to rational ends—has paradoxically been twisted into an excuse for rejecting nature as a “given” and elevating the autonomous individual as the architect of both nature and meaning. The second part of the book, entitled “Marching through the Institutions”, carefully traces the methods and tactics used in the successful efforts to canonize “gay” as “normal” in six specific contemporary institutional spheres: science, same-sex parenting, education, the Boy Scouts, the American military and U.S. foreign policy. Here his task shifts from philosophical analysis to brief and cohesive histories of the relatively short period of time it took to dramatically alter the official response to sodomy in each of these socio- cultural sectors. The shortness of time was indeed dramatic. For example, as late as 1986, the U.S. Supreme Court stated unequivocally that the U.S. Constitution does not confer

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 43 “a fundamental right to engage in homosexual sodomy.” In doing so, the Court cited the universal history of the Anyone even partially proscription of homosexual conduct from ancient Roman Law through the entire Judeo-Christian tradition, noting concerned or confused about that “to hold that the act of homosexual sodomy is somehow protected as a fundamental right would be to how we came, in the course cast aside millennia of moral teaching.” And yet it was just 17 years later, in 2003, that the of a generation, from using Court reversed itself, declaring a Texas law prohibiting reason and rights to forbid same-sex relations to be unconstitutional and providing the basis for a legal challenge to the restriction of homosexual behavior to using marriage to unions of a man and a woman. The Court argued, among other things, that “liberty presumes an reason and rights to teach and autonomy of self that includes freedom of thought, belief, expression and certain intimate conduct.” This would enforce it as normal should lead, within another 10 years in the case of the “United States v. Windsor,” to a finding that the definition of read this important book. marriage as a union between a man and a woman was discriminatory and unconstitutional, since there could be no possible reason for it.

A Deeper Perspective? Reilly’s unrelenting focus on how the rationalizations recognize all this. After all, nobody would argue, as has have come together to forge new policies over the past been argued with abortion, that the courts have single- generation is extraordinarily useful, but as is so often handedly ushered in same-sex normativity, including the case, the great strength of this book conceals same-sex marriage. Rather, even those opposed to these a weakness. The author simply does not pay much decisions before the fact thought them likely because of attention to the much larger history of how such a the prevailing cultural values. This cultural transvaluation massive intellectual, moral and spiritual shift could is a much larger story, and it is clearly the transvaluation have possibly occurred that would enable such a rapid that has driven the practical results. With the possible transvaluation of sodomy to occur in our time. For exception of the Boy Scouts, the leadership of the example, while contraception is included as one stage in relevant institutions hardly needed to be “taken.” the “rationalization,” you will not even find divorce in the But trying to cram all that into this particular book index. Yet widespread divorce is a huge step down this would have distracted the reader from what he really path. And Rousseau is hardly capable of bearing the full needs to know, first and foremost, right now. And, in burden of our gigantic philosophical shift. fact, what Reilly does in “Making Gay Okay,” he does In other words, given the long-prevailing cultural extraordinarily well. Anyone even partially concerned beliefs and attitudes, one might argue that the most or confused about how we came, in the course of a remarkable feature of the campaign for gay rights is not generation, from using reason and rights to forbid that its success came so quickly, but that it took so long. homosexual behavior to using reason and rights to teach Still, deepening one’s perspective has its own and enforce it as normal should read this important dangers. I could certainly write a historical monograph book. demonstrating how gay marriage was the inevitable outcome of principles largely embraced by Western culture in the early 20th century, or how it was the likely outcome given the dominant trends in favor of these DR. JEFFREY A. MIRUS is the founder and President of Trinity same principles in 1850 or 1789 or 1776, or how it Communications, which runs www.CatholicCulture.org; he also was at least a very grave danger based on too many serves as one of the chief writers for the site. In 1977, co-founded developments in the 16th and 17th centuries, or how it Christendom College in Front Royal, Virginia. He holds his Ph.D. in became a real philosophical possibility beginning with Intellectual History from Princeton University. Dr. Mirus resides in the rise of Nominalism in the 1400s. Manassas, Virginia. He and his wife, Barbara, have been married for Actually, Reilly is easily enough of a scholar to forty-two years, and have six children and eleven grandchildren.

44 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Media Scan NEW CATHOLIC GENERATION "Present Jesus. This is the goal of all Catholic Media." New Catholic Generation (NGC, www. NewCatholicGeneration.com) ends its promo video with these inspiring and honest words. As you spend time on their site, they indeed aim at this goal. NCG is a website that connects over 40 Catholic video-bloggers (vloggers) in one place so that the voice of young believers can be found and heard in a powerful and dynamic way. Sure, there are plenty of strong Catholic voices that are making inroads in the new media, but what makes NCG great is that it is young Catholic teens speaking proudly and passionately to YDISCIPLE TRUE BEAUTY DVD other Catholic teens about the joy of following Christ and the beauty of the Church. Deep down, young women want to This desperately needed dimension of the New Evangelization is started and sustained be admired for who they are, not for by teens who know firsthand what are the struggles, temptations, and fears of their sex appeal. They want to live their generation. That is what makes this collection of passionate teens so powerful. In a joyful life and find loving, giving a world where there are so many competing negative voices, this online network is a relationships. In short, they want great resource for everyone, especially those with teens, who need to see, hear, and be to know that they are worth waiting reminded that they are not alone in this new generation! for. Sadly, many young women have not had someone to guide them on how to achieve the desire of their hearts. Based in biblical teaching and godly principles, the True Beauty 3 MINUTE CATECHISM (3MC) DVD is created to help teenage girls Thanks Kathmedia for responding to the "Year of Faith" (which ended last year) with "A understand their dignity and become Revolution" in catechesis. If you want a great way to study, explain, or just enjoy learning women of true beauty. your faith, 3MC provides you with 72 hand-drawn and animated episodes that fit the bill. The “True Beauty” series Each episode (3-4 minutes), on 2 DVDs, follows and explains the Creed, covering all four discusses the themes of chastity, parts of the Catechism. Easier and more difficult subjects are treated in separate episodes love, fellowship, and relationships in making 3MC a great introduction to the everyday lives of young women. the faith for ages 12 to 120. Each DVD With all the tools provided, this four includes English and Spanish audio DVD study, facilitated by an adult tracks. The selling price? It is hard to willing to journey with teens, will be believe, but 3MC comes in bundles a blessing to the young women in where complete sets start at $2.95. your life as they experience truth, For more information and to order, visit grace, and intimacy with Jesus. www.TheAquinasInstitute.org/3mc For more information and to order, visit www.YDisciple.org

SAINT JOHN PAUL THE GREAT: HIS FIVE LOVES By Jason Evert

Although there are countless ways to study Saint John Paul the Great, the most direct route is by entering the man’s heart. Discover the five greatest loves of Saint John Paul II, through remarkable unpublished stories about him from bishops, priests, his students, Swiss Guards, and others. Mining through a mountain of papal resources, Jason Evert has uncovered the gems and now presents the Church a treasure chest brimming with the jewels of the saint’s life. To order, visit www.ChastityProject.com

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom tidings 45 UPCOMING SHALOM WORLD CATHOLIC TV 2014 IS NOW AVAILABLE EVENTS ON THE FOLLOWING DEVICES

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October November TV or 3-5 1 WI-FI ETHERNET (Roku 3 only) 2014 Year of Marriage Congress Catholic Life Congress Crookston, Minnesota Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Featuring Most Reverend Bishop Michael J. Hoeppner, Father Featuring Most Reverend Archbishop Charles J. Chaput, Thomas Loya, Danielle Rose, Rinaldi. Reverend Father Robert J. Spitzer, Monsignor Eduardo Chavez HOW IT WORKS ON AMAZON FIRE TV Sanchez, Mother Adela Galindo, and more. ○ For more information visit www.crookston.org/congress ○ For more information, visit www.phillycongress.org/ 1 Plug in your device. 2 Connect to network. 3 Register your Amazon Fire TV 4 Select SHALOM WORLD channel by going into settings and under Life Style category and choose relevant option. click install. October November

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October November or or 24-25 14-15 WI-FI ETHERNET Cornerstone Catholic Conference: Building a THRIVE Young Adult Conference Culture of Life Dallas, Texas Tacoma, Washington Featuring Father Alfonse Nazzaro, Joshua Clemmons, Matt Shalom World Catholic Channel is also Featuring Most Reverend Archbishop J. Peter Sartain, Most Fradd, Tom Grossman Jr., Jenny Klement, Naomi Lehew, Jimmy Reverend Bishop Joseph Tyson, Most Reverend Bishop Blase Mitchell, and music by Dave Moore. available on Tablets across different Cupich, Most Reverend Bishop Eusebio Elizondo, Most ○ For more information, visit www.thriveindallas.net Reverend Bishop Robert McElroy, Imamaculee Ilibagiza, Abby platforms. Johnson, Serrin Foster, Camille Pauley, and more. ○ For more information visit www.cornerstonecatholic.com/index.html

46 Shalom tidings AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014 Shalom Media USA Inc, 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas 78539 | office: (215) 366-3031 | email: [email protected] www.ShalomWorld.org SHALOM WORLD CATHOLIC TV IS NOW AVAILABLE ON THE FOLLOWING DEVICES

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Shalom tidingsaugust/september 2014 God Has Called Me From Darkness Into His Marvelous

Light What I Would Say To Myself You shall Freshman Year be a glorious crown in The Gift Of the hand of A Christian the LORD, a royal Death? diadem in the hand of your God Saints Isaiah 62:3 Empower Women