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Standby Lovers: a Typology and Theoretical Investigation of Back Burner Relational Maintenance

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Standby Lovers: a Typology and Theoretical Investigation of Back Burner Relational Maintenance Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Problem Reports 2021 Standby Lovers: A Typology and Theoretical Investigation of Back Burner Relational Maintenance Dana Borzea West Virginia University, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://researchrepository.wvu.edu/etd Part of the Interpersonal and Small Group Communication Commons Recommended Citation Borzea, Dana, "Standby Lovers: A Typology and Theoretical Investigation of Back Burner Relational Maintenance" (2021). Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Problem Reports. 8046. https://researchrepository.wvu.edu/etd/8046 This Dissertation is protected by copyright and/or related rights. It has been brought to you by the The Research Repository @ WVU with permission from the rights-holder(s). You are free to use this Dissertation in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. For other uses you must obtain permission from the rights-holder(s) directly, unless additional rights are indicated by a Creative Commons license in the record and/ or on the work itself. This Dissertation has been accepted for inclusion in WVU Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Problem Reports collection by an authorized administrator of The Research Repository @ WVU. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Standby Lovers: A Typology and Theoretical Investigation of Back Burner Relational Maintenance Dana Borzea Dissertation submitted to the Eberly College of Arts and Sciences at West Virginia University in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Communication Studies Matthew M. Martin, Ph.D., Chair Alan K. Goodboy, Ph.D. Megan R. Dillow, Ph.D. Jessica Troilo, Ph.D. Department of Communication Studies Morgantown, West Virginia 2021 Keywords: Relational maintenance, back burners, attachment, uncertainty, self-expansion, relational characteristics Copyright 2021 Dana Borzea ABSTRACT Standby Lovers: A Typology and Theoretical Investigation of Back Burner Relational Maintenance Dana Borzea The purpose of this dissertation was to investigate the connections between relational maintenance behaviors, theoretical factors, and relational characteristics in back burner relationships. A back burner relationship involves at least one individual who is romantically or sexually interested in a target, but they are not currently involved with the target. Given that back burners maintain communication with each other with the possibility of becoming romantically or sexually involved in the future, Study 1 was concerned with inductively identifying the relational maintenance behaviors used in back burner relationships. Following prior typology methods, participants (N = 86) in Study 1 were currently involved in at least one back burner relationship and responded to an open-ended question. The findings revealed that individuals use 10 back burner maintenance behaviors (i.e., Flirting & Humor, Minimize Intimacy, Openness, Positivity & Support, Regular Contact, Relationship Talk, Shared Activities, Social Networks, Special Occasions & Gifts, and Strategic Deceit). Study 2 questioned the behavioral predictability of theoretical factors (i.e., attachment style, relationship uncertainty, and self- expansion) and hypothesized that the use of maintenance behaviors would be positively associated with relational characteristics (i.e., commitment, liking, control mutuality, and relationship satisfaction). Participants (N = 187) were currently involved in at least one back burner relationship and completed an online questionnaire. The results indicated that individuals’ preoccupied attachment, secure attachment, behavioral uncertainty, future uncertainty, and experienced self-expansion each uniquely predicted the use of various back burner maintenance behaviors. The hypothesis was partially supported. Six maintenance behaviors (i.e., Flirting & Humor, Openness, Positivity & Support, Regular Contact, Shared Activities, and Special Occasions & Gifts) were positively associated with commitment, liking, control mutuality, and relationships. The results also revealed several unique associations for the Relationship Talk, Social Networks, Minimize Intimacy, and Strategic Deceit back burner maintenance behaviors. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS To be honest, I started writing these acknowledgements four years ago when I started my first dissertation. I was already pretty grateful for the people in my life who had got me to that point. Little did I know then that these people would be the ones to get me through the darkest years of my life. Some people played encouraging minor roles, while others were center stage for it all. Yet, each one deserves recognition because I would not have been able to finally finish these acknowledgements without them. To My Committee… Dr. Martin, you took on an almost impossible challenge and made it happen. Thank you for your unwavering support and guidance. You always believed in me, even more so when I did not believe in myself. You are not only my advisor, but you are the person who saved me by giving me another chance with my last two years in Morgantown. I hope to someday bump into you again at Goodwill on a half off Sunday. I promised to try and keep this direct, sincere, and kind – just like you. Dr. Goodboy, you know every single piece of instrumental support that you have given me over the past seven years. You also know how extremely grateful I am for your help through it all since the “It’s a distraction!!” day one. Thank you for never, ever giving up on me sir. F&F Forever. Dr. Dillow, you pushed me to work harder than I ever thought imaginably possible. I was lucky to learn and study IP communication from one of the most badass IP scholars. However, you also taught me how to be a strong woman from both observing your actions and listening to your advice. I sincerely appreciate you and the roles you have played throughout the years. I am looking forward to the next time we get to go all out at Muriale’s! iv Dr. Troilo, thank you for completing my all-star committee. You always provided unique and complementary perspectives, but you also stuck it out with me over the course of this entire journey. For that, I’ll be forever grateful! To My Broncos… All of this started when this daughter of immigrants and first-generation college student traveled west to Kalamazoo and had no idea what she was doing as a freshman at WMU. Chad and Autumn, thank you for changing my major from pre-med to communication studies. Since Chad is responsible for setting up my interview for WVU’s doc program way back when, I am now a different type of doctor. Stephanie, I am thankful for your role as a professor during my first semester at WMU, as well as your grad school guidance. Dr. Apker, my very first advisor! You equally guided and supported me through my MA professional project process. Your support continued when we talked doc school over my last breakfast in Kalamazoo and still does today. Shoutout to my O.G. grad school gang, including the lovely Deirdre, Sam, Andrew, Jacqui, Brett, Bethany, Nate, and unofficial cohort member Riley. Mike, my much younger older brother. Thank you for unconditionally being there for me for over a decade. I’m so glad that we get to do our 30s together too. Renee, my cartel ride or die and my first call in a crisis. The two of you were at my MA defense and I was lucky enough to celebrate my Ph.D. defense with my long-time besties as well. To My Mountaineers… After five years and two degrees at WMU, I traveled south into the mountains headed towards WVU. However, Dr. Myers is the man who made that journey happen. Dr. Myers, you were one of my top 3 hardest breakups (and that is saying something). There is no doubt in my mind that finishing this would have never happened if it was not for you. You picked me up out v of a dark place and threw me into the doc office to get my third (and luckily final) dissertation started. I can’t thank you enough for your persistent efforts. Over 7 years ago, you changed the trajectory of a lost 22-year-old girl’s life when we first met and you interviewed me at that hotel lobby in Minneapolis. Joy, I’ll forever cherish our office chats and hallway strolls. Thank you for all of your formal and informal help. I’ll always think of you when I look at your WVU train! Terri, thank you for always saving the day whenever I locked myself out of the office! Rest in Peace Renee Kisner. You were so kind and adored by all who met you. Nikki Loy, thank you for the laughs, lunch pizza, and for being the best meeting buddy! Shoutout to some of my other favorite former WVU professors as well, including Dr. Rittenour and Dr. Weber! Although I appreciate all of my WVU students, several of you have forever impacted me as a professor. I’m looking at you Emily, Matt, Hassan, Steph, Osama, Hailey, Shaina, Jacob, Rachel, Autumn, Ben, Austin, and Joey. I am also thankful for two of my former students turned amazing friends. Anna, you were my savior my last few years in Morgantown. I’ll always cherish our many roadtrips, 2am chats, speed racing to everything, and the hilarious memories we have created. Lindsey, my Midwest girl who understands me in ways in which no one else does. Thank you for always calling me out, while also always showing me love. If anyone has been in doc school, they know that the people around you are a major part of your survival. I have had the support of some wonderful MA students over the years, but a special shoutout to my gems Molly, Emma, and Sarah O. I am thankful for my predecessors turned forever conference buddies Sean, Kerry, Katie, Zac, and Hannah. Given that I was a 7- year doc student, I crossed paths with a handful of awesome doc students.
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