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Erotic Civility: Normative Monogamy as a Technology of Governance and Self-Governance in North America, 1850s to the Present By Serena Petrella, B.A. Honours, M.A. A thesis submitted to the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Department of Sociology and Anthropology Carleton University Ottawa, Ontario May 13, 2008 Copyright © 2008 Serena Petrella Library and Bibliotheque et 1*1 Archives Canada Archives Canada Published Heritage Direction du Branch Patrimoine de I'edition 395 Wellington Street 395, rue Wellington Ottawa ON K1A0N4 Ottawa ON K1A0N4 Canada Canada Your file Votre reference ISBN: 978-0-494-43903-6 Our file Notre reference ISBN: 978-0-494-43903-6 NOTICE: AVIS: The author has granted a non L'auteur a accorde une licence non exclusive exclusive license allowing Library permettant a la Bibliotheque et Archives and Archives Canada to reproduce, Canada de reproduire, publier, archiver, publish, archive, preserve, conserve, sauvegarder, conserver, transmettre au public communicate to the public by par telecommunication ou par I'lnternet, prefer, telecommunication or on the Internet, distribuer et vendre des theses partout dans loan, distribute and sell theses le monde, a des fins commerciales ou autres, worldwide, for commercial or non sur support microforme, papier, electronique commercial purposes, in microform, et/ou autres formats. paper, electronic and/or any other formats. The author retains copyright L'auteur conserve la propriete du droit d'auteur ownership and moral rights in et des droits moraux qui protege cette these. this thesis. Neither the thesis Ni la these ni des extraits substantiels de nor substantial extracts from it celle-ci ne doivent etre imprimes ou autrement may be printed or otherwise reproduits sans son autorisation. reproduced without the author's permission. In compliance with the Canadian Conformement a la loi canadienne Privacy Act some supporting sur la protection de la vie privee, forms may have been removed quelques formulaires secondaires from this thesis. ont ete enleves de cette these. While these forms may be included Bien que ces formulaires in the document page count, aient inclus dans la pagination, their removal does not represent il n'y aura aucun contenu manquant. any loss of content from the thesis. •*• Canada II Table of Contents Abstract v Acknowledgements vi Introduction 1 i. The "State" of Monogamous Things 1 ii. Research Question 1 iii. The "Splintering" of Sexual Governance since the 1850s in North America: Normative and External Regulation 7 iv. Monogamy and Norm and Practice, and Erotic Civility 12 v. Scope of the Thesis 15 vi. Structure of the Thesis 18 Chapter 1 - A Review of Recent Contributions to the Study of Relationships in Sociology: Methodological Considerations for a Genealogy of Erotic Civility as Governance of Paired behavior 25 1.1 Introduction 25 1.2 The Modern Condition and the Pair: Risk Society and the Transformation of Intimacy in the Works of Beck, Beck-Gernsheim, and Giddens 28 1.3 Methodological Considerations for the Genealogical Study of Personal Relationships and Normative monogamy 39 Critiques of Giddens, Beck and Beck-Gernsheim's Analyses of Relationships in High or Reflexive Modernity 39 Bio-Politics and Governance in Personal Relationships 43 The Genealogical Method 45 Areas of Research and Lines of Inquiry 47 Further Areas of Research: Integrating the Study of State Apparatuses in the Genealogy of Erotic Civility as Governance of Paired Behavior 54 1.3 Conclusion 58 Chapter 2 - Subjugated by the "Freedom" of Our Desires: Normalization and Erotic Civility 60 2.1 Introduction 60 2.2 Sexual Practices as Habitus and the Disposition to Monogamy 62 Ill 2.3 Discourse and Normalization 75 Sexuality and Bio-politics 78 The Relationship between Discourse, Norms, and the Technology of Sexuality 84 2.4 Fashioning the 'Practical Sense' of Sexuality: Erotic Civility, the Pair, and Monogamy in Discourse 86 2.5 Conclusion 97 Chapter 3 - Medical Authorities and the Constitution of Erotic Civility 101 3.1 Introduction 101 Classic Sexology and the Emergence of Erotic Civility 102 Nineteenth Century Europe: Social Context and Ideologies 104 The Rise of "Perverse" Sexuality: Krafft-Ebing's Psychopathia Sexualis 109 Erotic Civility: Monogamy and the Socialization of Procreative Behavior 116 "Natural" Monogamy and Social Hygiene: Havelock Ellis 124 Mutations in Erotic Civility: from Reproduction to Intimacy 130 3.2 The Production of "Normal" Sexuality: Erotic Civility in Modern American Sexology 134 The New North American Authorities 136 Findings in Sexual behavior of the Human Male and the Monogamous Norm 140 Findings in Sexual behavior of the Human Female and the Monogamous Norm.. 149 Sexology in the Aid of Marriage: Masters and Johnson 157 Sexology in the Age of AIDS: the Erotic Ethics of Mandatory Monogamy 169 3.3 Conclusion 172 Chapter 4 - Popular Literature on Sex: The Constitution of Erotic Civility in the Publications on Sexual Statistics, Marriage Manuals and Sex Manuals 175 4.1 Introduction 175 4.2 Statistics on Sex 176 "Shedding" Old Sexual Hang-ups: Hunt's Sexual Behavior in the 70s 178 "Prowling" and Emancipated Girls: Wolfe's Cosmo Reports 186 Sexually Disgruntled Women: the Hite Reports 189 How Sexually Boring We Really Are: Sex in America 197 4.3 Erotic Civility in Marriage and Sex Manuals 207 IV Marriage and Sex Manuals, 1890s-1950s. Daring Princes and Sleeping Beauties: "Different and Unequal" Lovers in "Companionate and Erotic" Marriage 211 1950s-"! 965: Lovers as "Equal and Emancipated Heroes in Blissful Relationships." Or are they? 222 1975-1980s: Relationship No More! The "Hedonistic pair" and Lovers and "Free Agents" 226 1975-1980s: Blissful Autonomy - For Her Sake - the "Selfishly Righteous" Woman Lover and the Demotion of the Male Lover to "Dildo" 231 1980s-Present: AIDS, the "New" Monogamous and Committed Relationship and the "Resignedly Careful" Lovers 234 4.4 Conclusion 242 Chapter 5 - The Regulation of Paired Behavior Through the Governance Mechanisms of the Law 245 5.1 Introduction 245 5.2 The Evolution of the Law: Normalization, Privatization and Re-Regulation 249 5.3 Hegemonic Serial Monogamy: Demographic Trends on Personal Relationships in Canada 256 5.4 The Origins of Family Law, Marriage and Divorce Law in Canada 260 5.5 Divorce Law in Canada, 1967-1969 267 5.6 Divorce Law in Canada, 1985 to the Present 276 5.7 Civilizing "Uncivil" Relationships: The Management of Common-Law Unions in Canada, 1950 to the Present 283 5.8 The Law as "Social Barometer": The Circularity of Normalization 290 5.9 Conclusion 295 Conclusion 297 Works Cited 303 V Abstract This dissertation is concerned with the study of normative monogamy and pairing, and charts the emergence and consolidation of these specific forms of sexual governance in North America, specifically in the United States and Canada, over the past 150 years. Since the 1850s, there has been an increase in both state-centered and non-state- centered regulation of sexuality. Interests in the erotic have splintered off in a myriad of directions, producing new definitions and new programs for the policing of sexual behavior, as well as for the "care" of sexuality. In the dissertation I contend that in order to understand properly how sexual regulation occurs, the symbol of the pair and the norm of monogamy need to be analyzed together, as a couplet. I argue that the sexual governance of paired behavior is exercised through two processes: the normalization of "erotic civility" and the institutionalization of monogamy through marriage and marriage-like relationships in the law. On the one hand, sexual governance takes place through the normalization of a specific form of "civil" sexual comportment. This "civil" intimate eroticism has been defined as dyadic, committed and contained, and is epitomized in the loving heterosexual pair. On the other hand, sexual governance has been fostered through a process of direct regulation in the mechanisms of the law; these have stipulated the forms that unions can take, and the ways in which individuals must act in the eventuality of the dissolution of their relationships. These two-pronged governance trajectories allow for the direct sexual governance of subjects, yet also permit individuals to govern themselves sexually. The thesis investigates how monogamy has been discursively fashioned into the "ultimate relationship," mapping out the evolution of ideals of erotic civility in the expert discourse of medical science, in the texts of classic European Sexology and in those of its North American modern counterpart. It also analyses more popular discourses in texts aimed at a mass audience, statistical studies on sexual behavior, and marriage and sex manuals in the genre of self-help. The dissertation studies the ways in which monogamy continues to be enforced in North America through a complex legal apparatus that is comprised by marriage, divorce and family Law. It analyzes state-sponsored regulatory mechanisms, offering a systematic study of legal texts in Canada, and examining how the legal protection for the pair has evolved. In conclusion, the dissertation argues that the symbol of the pair and the norm of monogamy are technologies of governance that "open up" subjects to the exercise of power, by making them "docile bearers" of erotic civility. This process is deeply obscure to them: individuals enact erotic scripts without realizing that their freedoms are restricted and their choices circumscribed, as forms of possible sexual engagement are limited. VI Acknowledgments Over the years, I heard my fellow colleagues compare the process of writing a dissertation to many things: giving birth, running a marathon, climbing a mountain... In my experience, it has been closer to taming a mythological beast: a frustratingly difficult and messy process, not without its share of injuries and falls; yet, now, in the amnesic delight of completion, I think of it as an amazing feat that fills me with wonderment and happiness.