The Impact of Accounts and Attributions Following Marital
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FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE? THE IMPACT OF ACCOUNTS AND ATTRIBUTIONS FOLLOWING MARITAL INFIDELITY ________________________________________________________ A Dissertation presented to the Faculty of the Graduate School University of Missouri – Columbia ________________________________________________________ In Partial Fulfillment Of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy ________________________________________________________ by MICHELLE KLEINE Dr. Jon A. Hess, Dissertation Supervisor DECEMBER 2007 © Copyright by Michelle Kleine 2007 All Rights Reserved The undersigned, appointed by the Dean of the Graduate School, have examined the dissertation entitled, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE? THE IMPACT OF ACCOUNTS AND ATTRIBUTIONS FOLLOWING MARITAL INFIDELITY Presented by Michelle Kleine A candidate for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy And hereby certify that, in their opinion, it is worthy of acceptance ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS First and foremost, I want to thank my advisor, Dr. Jon A. Hess. He has epitomized throughout the process of writing this paper everything that I would want a mentor to be. As a scholar, he is brilliant. I knew that I was in capable hands. He was always there to help and no question I asked was ever considered too stupid. He offered encouragement when I needed it and every now and then even a gentle kick in the behind. I consider him not only my advisor, but my friend. In addition to Dr. Hess, there were four other amazing scholars on my committee for whom I owe a debt of gratitude - Dr. Michael Kramer, Dr. Larry Ganong, Dr. Mary J. Smythe, and Dr. Marilyn Coleman. I appreciate so much their comments, advice, and words of encouragement. I feel it was a great honor to be able to learn from such a group as this. Thank you all. I also want to thank my many participants. For my first study, 250 people took time out of their very busy lives to complete a survey for someone most of them didn’t know from Adam. In my second study, 25 people, who most again did not know me, generously exposed a very sensitive, painful, part of their lives. Without your help, none of this would have been possible. Finally, I want to thank my family - My husband, my boys, my mother, and my siblings. Thank you for always being there to help or to encourage me. In the end, you make it all worthwhile and I love you all. ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS……………………………………………………………… ii LIST OF FIGURES……………………………………………………………………..viii LIST OF TABLES…………………………………………………………….…………ix ABSTRACT……………………………………………………………………………….x Chapter 1. CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION………………………………………...……..1 Purpose of this Study Importance of this Study 2. CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW………………………………….……6 Infidelity Definition and History Terminology Use Typologies General Demographics Predictors Social influence Individual difference influences Marital relationship influence Consequences Account Episodes Failure Event Deception Reproach iii Account Types of Accounts Excuses Justifications Concessions and refusals Evaluation Attribution Theory Heider's foundational work in attribution theory More recent developments of attributions theory Accounts and Attributions 3. CHAPTER THREE: STUDY ONE……………………………………………….30 Commitment, Intention, Account Types, and Guilt Commitment Level Level of Intent Method Participants Procedure Instruments Motivation to maintain the marriage, level of intent, and revenge Accounts Level of Guilt Results Hypothesis One Hypothesis Two iv Hypothesis Three Research Question One Research Question Two Hypothesis Four Hypothesis Five Hypothesis Six Discussion Comparison with Mongeau's Study on Dating Couples Degree of Guilt Account Choice Theory Application and Future Directions Level of intent and account Motivation and account choice Causal Dimensions 4. CHAPTER FOUR: STUDY TWO………………………………………………...52 Attribution Theory and Account Sequence Causal Dimensions Stability Locus Control Reproach, Accounts, and Subsequent Evaluation Account and Evaluation Method Thematizing Designing v Interviewing Participants Sampling Criteria Locating Participants Setting Procedure Transcribing Data Analysis Verification Reporting Results Research Question One Research Question Two Research Question Three Motivation to terminate the marriage and account choice Motivation to maintain the marriage and account choice Research Question Four Initial Victim Reaction Account Significance Barriers Power Shift Relationship Talk and Remedial Work Discussion 5. CHAPTER FIVE: GENERAL DISCUSSION…………………………………118 Account Sequence vi Reproach Account Evaluation Intervening Variables Causal Dimensions Future Direction Summary of Findings Theoretical Contributions to Knowledge Value of Hypothetical Scenarios for Studying Marital Infidelity Infidelity in Marital Versus Dating Couples Practical Applications Applications for those who are contemplating marriage Applications for those whose marriage is affected by sexual infidelity Applications for marital counselors Conclusion REFERENCES…………………………………………………………………………130 APPENDIX A. Study One script for potential participants……………………………………....137 B. Study One questionnaire…………………………………………………………138 C. Study Two demographic questions………………………………………………143 D. Study Two interview schedule…………………………………………………...144 E. Study Two interview script………………………………………………………145 VITA……………………………………………………………………………………147 vii LIST OF FIGURES Figure Page 1. Account Sequence……………………………………………………………15 viii LIST OF TABLES Table Page 1. Account Response Examples…………….……………………………………40 2. Demographic of Participants…………………………..………………………62 ix FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE? THE IMPACT OF ACCOUNTS AND ATTRIBUTIONS FOLLOWING MARITAL INFIDELITY Michelle Kleine Dr. Jon A. Hess, Dissertation Supervisor ABSTRACT This research focused on accounts and attributions following marital infidelity using a two-part investigation. In Study One, 250 married or previously married participants responded to a hypothetical scenario which asked that they assess their expected level of guilt and tell what account they would likely give to their spouse after an incident of extramarital sex was discovered. Motivation to remain in the marriage and the level of intent prompting the infidelity were manipulated in the scenarios. Results indicated that low motivation to maintain the marriage and high intent were related to the use of aggravating accounts (justifications and denials) while low intent was related to the use of mitigating accounts (concessions and excuses). Study Two utilized qualitative interviews of 25 individuals who had actually experienced infidelity in a marriage. Results indicated that motivation to remain married was a salient factor in the transgressor’s choice of account. Additionally, a concession was the prominent account preferred by victims. x CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION Most people begin their marriage with a vow of long-term commitment and faithfulness. Few people would likely say that they got married on a “trial basis.” In fact, almost every individual enters into the institution of marriage with expectations of a storybook, everlasting love (Vangelisti, 1994). Although marital conflict is inevitable, newlyweds truly believe their love will conquer all trials and tribulations throughout their years together and that their marriage will remain untarnished. Unfortunately, this is not often the case. Estimates forecast that approximately one half of all new marriages will end in divorce (Kitson & Morgan, 1990; Martin & Bumpass, 1989; Nortan & Moorman, 1987). While research has found a vast number of causes of divorce, 25 to 50% of them cite infidelity as the leading culprit in the decision to dissolve the union (Betzig, 1989; Kelly & Conley, 1987). In fact, the famous Kinsey research reported that by the age of 40, approximately half of all married men and more than a quarter of all married women had had sexual intercourse during their marriage with someone other than their spouse (Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948; Kinsey, Pomeroy, Martin, & Gebhard, 1953). Since then, reports have ranged widely from 26% to 55% for men and 21% to 45% of women (Allen et al., 2005; Levine, 1998). Recently, it has even been estimated that 70% or more of marriages experience infidelity (Brown, 1992; Buss, 1994). It seems safe to conclude that extramarital affairs can destroy marriages and that they are quite prevalent in today’s society. 1 Even when divorce is not the ultimate outcome of an extramarital affair, clients of therapists have reported that infidelity has affected their lives with many other negative consequences: Breaking of religious teaching; betrayals of trust; loss of trust; guilt; shame; dishonesty; lies; panic; anger; humiliation; depression; loss of self-esteem and personal confidence; feelings of abandonment; attacks on one’s sense of belonging; suicide; enraged feelings, homicide; marital conflict; a surge of justification to leave one’s spouse; separation; anxiety; regret; lost respect and love; disruption of careers, marriages and families; loss of reputation; unwanted pregnancies; abortions; sexually transmitted diseases; loss of time and money; fears; jealousy; and sexual conflict and dysfunction (Charney & Parnass, 1995; Eldridge, 1983; Humphrey, 1987; Rhodes, 1984). It is clear from such findings that we may conclude that in addition to being correlated with a high rate of divorce, infidelity is at the very least associated with long-term marital dysfunction for many. Purpose of this Study Why do affairs have such devastating consequences for so many? There are many reasons.